#mike wheeler’s trauma

[himynameis4]

I feel like y’all are sleeping on the canonically-overlapping timeframes between It Chapter 1 & Stranger Things.

Will goes missing in early November (aka fall) of 1983. It Chapter 1 takes place 1988-1989, with Georgie going missing October 1988, and all the action taking place the subsequent summer.

The summer of 1989 would be when the Party graduates high school, you guys.

Wouldn’t it be interesting if Ted Wheeler had a sister, Maggie Tozier, perhaps? Finn Wolfhard has said that Richie and Mike wouldn’t get along, and Mike being frustrated with his dipshit little cousin is hilarious to me.

There are already crossover fics existing—ones that make Mike & Richie twins, ones that have Richie as the elder cousin, lots of ones that have Richie sent to live with/visit the Wheelers in Hawkins—but none I’ve seen that take the timeline into account, none with Mike as the elder cousin, and few that primarily take place in Derry.

What about, instead, starting post-season 4, with Karen Wheeler? The Wheelers are incredibly flawed, as parental figures go, but the end of season 4 leaves off with them seeming to pay more attention to the dangers in their children’s lives. Perhaps Karen Wheeler, newly wise to the supernatural dangers of Hawkins, sends Mike and Holly to live with their cousins in Derry for their own good? Hawkins is practically a ghost town, after all… Nancy’s over 18, Karen can’t control her—but she can protect her younger two, at least.

Perhaps it’s discovered that Mike was a target of Vecna, and the party, on edge and traumatized after Max, advocates for him to move away, where he’ll be safe, unintentionally heightening Mike’s feelings of uselessness (but he knows he could be useful, if they’d just listen this time, if they’d just let him stay… he feels sick thinking it, but also sickeningly justified in it, too: if he’d been in hawkins when they went for vecna that first time, max would be awake, and eddie would be alive. Mike could’ve done better, he just knows it, if only he’d been there to plan, he would’ve done better than the harebrained scheme nancy threw together, nearly getting max killed, and he only just made up with will, and eddie is dead, and he cant leave now—).

(It’s interesting to explore how mike sometimes simultaneously overconfident & incredibly insecure, as well as his (mis?)perception of himself, nancy, etc. Another interesting theme to explore here is the concept of usefulness, and how that does or does not factor into being loved and having value. Mike is useful, Mike is a leader… but by taking away Mike’s opportunities to express these things, it forces Mike to contend with his own self-worth and how he values himself, and his feelings on having to be “useful” in relationships relationships/to be loved (see: she doesn’t need me, mike’s van ramblings on lois lane, etc).

On top of that…what if Ted died fighting the upsidedown, protecting his children, and Karen shuffles the kids off to Derry shortly thereafter? Maybe she stays with Mike and Holly in Derry, but maybe she doesn’t stay forever—perhaps she returns to Hawkins to try and defend her wayward, rebellious eldest, Nancy, fighting at her daughters’ side and avenging her late husband. So Mike is left to grapple with the loss of his father mostly on his own, though Aunt Maggie and Uncle Went do their best. Perhaps it’s made worse by the fact that, just as his parents seemed to be doing better, to be caring, one got himself killed and the other abandoned them. In their attempts to “do better” they both—well, they don’t. Frankly, mike preferred when they didnt pay attention at all. At least they were all alive, and mike was with the people he loved. Will he have to forgive them, now? His father and his last-minute heroics, as though that makes up for a lifetime of distance; his mother and her grief, deciding that acknowledging her failures as a parent means giving up all hopes of being a better one?

(Themes? Forgiveness, parents, the impacts parents have on their children, etc.)

And on top of all of that, now he’s stuck in this shitty, homophobic town, one that isn’t all that different from his shitty, homophobic hometown, except that missing children are mundane here and most of the people he loves are miles away. Oh, and also it’s cold as fuck, because he’s in Maine, and he has to share a room with his shitty little cousin, Richie.

Mike is abruptly shoved into the same position El was—he’s dealing with a lot of shit at school, but why the hell would he tell el about it, with everything she’s dealing with in hawkins?? El had it worse in Lenora, apparently—given the way she reacted when he tried to compare their experiences with bullying.

(This isn’t entirely accurate, isn’t reflective of the intention behind El’s statement or the reason she reacted to Mike the way she did, merely a way Mike might internalize and interpret and be affected by El’s response to him talking about his experiences with bullying in season four.)

Reconstructing cerebro on the roof without dustin sucks. Being unable to communicate with the people he loves would suck more, though, and telephone lines are never private, no matter who’s listening in (nosey aunts and cousins or government agents on their side or government agents decidedly NOT on their side—it doesn’t matter. They don’t get to spy, because it’s not of their goddamn business).

(At least he and will are talking. Every other night, practically. Mike climbs out of the window of his shared bedroom, sits on the roof next to his Cerebro, and talks and talks and talks with will until the sky gets light. They discuss the latest new of the upsidedown, their friends, will’s connection to all of it, their families. Will is the only person mike tells, honestly, about what it’s like in Derry. They talk about light things too—plan campaigns they know they’ll never get to play, talk about comics and gossip about annoying siblings & cousins. When the Little Shop of Horrors movie comes out, they watch it separately & then talk about it together. Overall, they’re making a better go of it than the last time they tried long distance.)

(The cognitive disconnect for mike between what he’s experienced, what his friends have experienced, and the relatively mundane (for now) evils of derry high school might be interesting to explore, too.)

Life continues in this vein for about 2 years. The upsidedown & vecna aren’t fully resolved, but things are at a kind of stalemate, at least.

And then, in 1988, Georgie Denbrough goes missing.

(If you made it to the end of this long-ass post, congrats, man. I figure i’ll tag @wibble-wobbegong since i know he was/is v into stephen king? If you’re reading this, hi wibble! Idk this plot bunny has been dancing in my head. If anybody has thoughts, or different directions they wanna springboard off from this, i’d love to hear ab it lol. I think imma tag this on “wheeler in derry” for my own organization. If i elaborate ill probably tag it there)

[the--last-great-american-dynasty]

i really hope this is discussed in s5, along with all the other significant trauma this boy has, because he went through it and witnessed a shit ton.

at 12 his best friend went missing, he saw will’s dead ‘body’ be pulled out of a lake, he tries to kill himself, he thought he would need to be on the run from the government and was fully prepared to run away from home, and he saw a el kill multiple people and then sacrifice herself for him.

at 13 he’s seeing will hallucinate and eventually sees him get possessed, lose control of his mind and body, and try to kill him and so many others, he sees will have to get held down and sedated, he nearly dies while trapped in a demodog filled lab, he watches bob be mauled to death, he basically helps interrogate possessed will who then tries to kill them again, he watches billy nearly kill lucas and steve, and then he gets el back only for her to possibly sacrifice herself again to save their lives again.

at 14 he’s struggling to try and have a normal relationship, he starts losing will, his best friend since they were 5, this time through his own actions instead of others, and then the mindflayer comes back again even though they thought it was gone, which has to be terrifying for him considering it’s after his girlfriend and his best friend, he watches el nearly be killed by billy, he starts struggling with his sexuality, his sister is almost killed by the mindflayer, he and all his friends are almost killed, el suffers some major trauma, so much shit happens in the mall including mike suffering some major head trauma from billy, and then his best friend and girlfriend move away across the country, which means he loses the two people he cares most about, plus he definitely figures out that he doesn’t love el like he thought.

and finally, at nearly 15, he’s struggling with normal teenage stuff like finding his place in high school on top of all his unpacked trauma, and then, when he yet again thought everything was over, he goes to visit his girlfriend and best friend in cali only for his friendship with will to have clearly fallen apart and for his girlfriend to assault someone and then call him out on his bullshit and the fact that he clearly doesn’t love her like that, something he’s definitely tries to squash because of his fear surrounding his sexuality crisis, and then el is arrested and he finds out she’s being taken to a lab again by the government, which is where all her trauma started, and then the byers’ house is attacked and he barely escapes being shot at, he has to bury a dead body, they’re basically on the run again, he has many more sexuality crisises, he watches el blow up a helicopter and multiple military vehicles, he finds out that hawkins is very much not ok and that everything is starting up again, he is basically forced to say ‘i love you’ to el to try to save her life despite knowing it’s a lie, and then when he finally gets to hawkins he has to see his home town completely destroyed, he has to find out that eddie is dead, that max is in a coma, and that will is still connected to vecna, who is still alive, meaning that the fight isn’t even over yet.

i mean, this is going to fuck up a person, not to mention a teenager who’s brain is very much not fully developed. the lack of discussion about this is previous seasons makes sense because we were shown countless times that mike is bottling up and pushing down his feelings to try and be ‘normal’. but because s5 is the final season, this needs to be discussed.

Reminder that Mike tried to kill himself at 12.

[kidovna]

from this fic by @andiwriteordie

[tartarusknight]

Steve had this habit, a habit which most of the party were annoyed by. They understood it, God did they understand. But after everything was over and the Upside Down was gone for good, it kept happening. Months and months of daily calls. Just Steve checking in and asking them about their day.

Mike hadn't understood why he was on the list of names Steve would call, but if he didn't pick up the phone, there would be a knock on the door within the hour. And Steve, sometimes followed by Robin, would stop by like he was that important to them. Once, it had been on their way to work, and Steve had only locked eyes with him and raised an eyebrow. Mike just flipped him off and continued reading his comic.

Dustin had told him it was Steve's way of coping, and Lucas had turned the calls into workouts with the older teen. Will had just gone a little red and nodded along. El smiled and told Mike about the tips for hair care she got. Max just rolled her eyes and said that Steve had taken to stopping by with food most days.

Steve would be there. He was always there. It was annoying, but it was a constant. Maybe that's why Mike laid awake as the clock ticked closer and closer to midnight. Normally, he could fall asleep within minutes, a habit he had inherited from his dad. But he could bring himself to sleep as his phone didn't ring. As the walkie stayed silent. As the door remained untouched, no knock to be heard.

And it was stupid. Because Mike didn't want Steve to call him every day just to ask him if he was okay. It made him feel like a kid. It reminded Mike of his mom, but even his mom wasn't that bad. No, no one really did that for Mike. No one checked in day after day even as he remained uncaring towards them. No one but Steve.

Until now...

Mike watched the clock as it passed midnight, and his stomach twisted into knots. Fear bubbled up, and he pictured Steve getting into a fight he couldn't walk away from. He pictured a car crash so great that Steve was unable to reach for the walkie he carried with him everywhere. He pictured the worst- the Upside Down still around. The demogorgon coming up and dragging Steve into that hellpit.

Mike was up and pulling on a warm sweatshirt before those images were fully formed. He crawled out his window and down the roof, not too unlike the way Steve had done to visit Nancy. It left him already out of breath by the time he climbed on his bike. But that didn't stop him. He pushed off the ground, biking as fast as he could towards Loch Nora.

The cold air hot his face, and the road seemed to go on forever, but Mike didn't stop. He couldn't stop. Not until Steve's place was in view.

Mike tossed his bike uncarringly onto the pavement before slamming his fist into the Harrington's nice door. He didn't let up. He couldn't as an image of Steve dead in his own pool floated in his mind.

However, then the door was opening. Steve stood there, looking like he hadn't been asleep either. A smear of white powder on his cheek and a hollowness in his eyes. But still, something eased in Mike the same time Steve lost some of that weight in his shoulders as well. "You- you didn't-" Mike started, still out of breath. "Call. Why didn't you- call?" He gasped and Steve looked at him with a weird expression.

"You- What?" Steve questioned, sounding lost.

Mike crossed his arms, "I- you can't just stop!" He gasped out, and Steve's brow furrowed.

"But you don't like it when I do? I annoy you," he tries to point out, and Mike huffs.

"God, of course you annoy me! You track our days more intensly than my mom, and you always make dumb jokes, and I hate that I find them funny! You always call when I'm in the middle of something, and you make it easy to stay on the phone! You are always there like some weird older brother that I never asked for!" Mike shouts and Steve's eyes are wide.

"You don't have to stay around or call, but you do! You do, and you actually care. Like when you call and ask me if I'm okay, it feels like you care, and I don't understand why! I don't get you! I didn't ask you to care about me, but even when you were dating Nancy, you cared! You took Holly and me to get ice cream even though Nancy had to study! You give me and my friends rides everywhere! You care!" Mike throws his hands up in the air.

He glares at the older teen, "You care so much that I stupidly care about you! I care enough to come and check on you because when you didn't call, all I could think was that you were like dead or something," Mike snaps and takes a step back. "But you're obviously fine so-" and he wants to run suddenly. To run from the way Steve's eyes are filled with tears or the stupid words he just told the older teen.

Steve runs a hand through his hair, tugging slightly. "Mike, I stopped because I didn't think you wanted me to. You always acted like I was your least favorite person in the world and I guess I just- I didn't feel like it was fair to force you to put up with me just because I can't handle not knowing if you were okay." Steve said, and it didn't sound like the normal Steve. He sounded tired and nervous. He sounded like someone had finally beaten him

Mike bites his lip and tastes salt like he had been crying. Or maybe he still was. He crosses his arms like he can shield himself from this conversation. "But now you don't care enough to keep calling?"

Steve rubbed his face, a sigh shaking his whole body as he did. "I still care, kid."

Mike scoffs, "You didn't call."

Steve drops his hands to his sides. "Just come inside. It's too late for you to bike home. I'll call your place and leave a message." Steve says, his voice sounding close to tears. Mike is stiff when he lets Steve pull him inside.

They are quiet as Steve guides him towards the kitchen. The kitchen that has music playing softly and smelling like a bake sale. He blinks as he steps into the room and spots cookies cooling on a rack and a pie stilling uncooked on the counter. The top crust is sitting on the counter next to it. There's a smell of something in the oven, and Mike states at all of it in confusion.

"I bake when I can't relax," Steve admits, and Mike glances over at him. "I still care, and I was trying to give you space. I was trying not to crowd you, so I just," and he waves his hand around the mess everywhere. The smear of white on his cheek now makes sense.

Mike hugged himself, "I don't- I don't mind the calls." He whispered, and it got a snort from Steve.

He looked over at Mike, "I kinda got that from your speech."

They stood there in silence for another moment before Steve moved to finish putting his pie together. "I know that we aren't close or anything. But I care, it's not just the Upside Down making me anxious, it's just that-" and Steve went quiet. "I went overboard, I get it. But now I just- I can't stop." He admits, and Mike hates how upset Steve sounds. How guilty he sounds.

"I fall asleep easier knowing that if someone wasn't okay, we'd know because of you. It's like you take all the stress from me just by being around." He says, and Steve's eyes are wide. "Maybe we just do a sound off every night so you don't have to play phone tag all day." He shrugs, and Steve wrinkles his nose.

"I don't really get how to use the walkie. Like Dustin tried to show me, but he got distracted and started talking about radio waves and well..." Steve mimed it going over his head.

Mike snorted to hide how much that terrified him. The thought of something bad happening and Steve not being able to respond. But he pushed it away as Steve looked at him as if waiting for Mike to tease him. "That's fair. We did modify them, so they worked better. It's not as simple as your average walkie. I can show you," he offered, and Steve's face split into a grin.

"Cool, want to help me finish this so I can put it in the fridge until tomorrow? Then you can teach me the ways," Steve says, going all dramatic, proving to Mike he'd been spending too much time with Eddie. Mike groaned but came over only for Steve to shove him to the sink to wash his hands.

Steve showed him what to do, and Mike was glad to have Steve around. Because sure Steve's habit was annoying, and sometimes it interfered with Mike's plans, but it was nice too. Steve was nice. And that was something Mike ever believed would happen. But as Steve joked that Mike should not become a baker, he was nice. Like the way Mike was nice to Holly or how Nancy was nice to him. He was part of the family, annoyingly nice habits and all.

[doriandrifting]

Rewatching season two and its wild how they literally have Owens explain anniversary affect and PTSD symptoms like irritability, lashing out, etc. and we see Joyce listening to Hopper about it and being really concerned about Will only to fast forward FOUR MINUTES to the dinner table with Mike’s family describing how he’s been acting out and chiding him for his behavior because the last year being tough isn’t going to cut it as an excuse anymore. They really drove that comparison home.

[fairyrona]

saw this post by @foodiewithdahoodie so here are byler wearing each other's belts <333 was supposed to be more subtle than a jacket or a sweater but well. the diamond belt.

[flowercrowngods]

felt like letting mike and steve work through some shit again

cw: descriptions and imagery of them being lost and self-sacrificing, left alone with trauma they have no means to work through, could read as suicidal tendencies or intrusive thoughts

🤍 also on ao3

“What do you want?” Mike asks when Steve sits down beside him, gravel crunching, their feet dangling over the dark and endless abyss that is the quarry at night.

Steve doesn’t answer right away, doesn’t really know what to say now that he’s here, now that he found him. He looks so small, now more than ever, and it reminds Steve so painfully that he’s still just a child. He was always just a child, and children shouldn’t—

It feels like they got their rights at a childhood revoked years ago, and then they were just… supposed to be okay with it. It was expected, it was implied when nobody came to talk to them after.

When all they got was one NDA after another. When none of the professionally trained adults took one look at the children that they were, and asked, Are you okay? What do you need to be okay? I will talk to you once a week and make sure you learn how to be okay again.

Steve feels like a big brother to most of the kids now, sure, but he’s not their shrink, and he sucks when it comes to actually talking about shit. He can be there to drive them anywhere, can provide an evening of distractions and as much of a sanctuary as a house as haunted as his can be.

With everything else, though, he’s helplessly lost. So he says nothing, weighs his words to make sure they come out right — especially for Mike, who’s always just waiting for him to say something wrong and throw it back in his face with the sunny disposition of a feral, rabid cat.

“Hey,” Mike says then, irritated again; but his voice is hoarse, too. Tired. No heat behind it after that stupid fight with Dustin and Lucas earlier tonight that made him snap and leave Steve’s house in a frenzy. “I said, What do you want?”

Steve shrugs, looking ahead into the darkness that feels endless and alluring and deeply terrifying.

I miss my friend! My best friend, Mike!

“Making sure you’re okay.”

You’ve changed, you know that? You’re not the guy who would jump off a cliff for me anymore, I don’t think I even know you anymore!

Dustin’s voice echoes in Steve’s mind as it undoubtedly does in Mike’s, too, and he can only imagine how much that hurts, especially if he’s shivering like that even though the night is warm for early September.

“I’m okay,” Mike says, sounding endlessly annoyed about the fact. Steve almost huffs out a humourless laugh. Yeah, right.

“Sure you are,” Steve says, keeping his tone carefully neutral.

He shrugs off his jacket and drapes it over Mike’s shoulders without a comment, half-expecting him to just throw it into the darkness below. But Mike doesn’t move, is eerily still beside him, pretending not to notice that Steve’s watching him.

“But you know it’s, like,” he starts again and trails off, looking for the right words because this is unfamiliar terrain and the ground beneath his feet is quite literally nonexistent. “It’s fine if you’re not, right? It’s actually really fucking normal to be more than a little fucked up after everything, all that crazy shit. Or just… in general.”

You were twelve, he wants to say. You were twelve and you jumped off from here. You were twelve and you were going to die. And not because of those monsters, not yet. Just because… you were twelve.

Mike doesn’t say anything, but the gravel crunches once more as he reaches for a handful of stones to throw them into the darkness one by one, the void beneath them so enormous that they don’t even hear the noise of impact.

You jumped.

The longer Mike remains silent, the more Steve wants to scream, wants to grab him by the shoulders and shake him, wants to make him see and understand that Steve knows about the scars a decision like that leaves, especially when you live to deal with the consequences.

He gets seizures to deal with the consequences. His ear is fucky, his eye is twitchy, his head is aching constantly, he gets migraines that knock him out for a day or two, all because he wanted to protect his friends. All because he did protect his friends. It worked. They’re safe.

But they’re also unaware of… of everything. Of the horrible stillness as clarity dawns and all signs point to the one way that always seems to work. The one easy way out, and still the hardest of them all when the plan goes wrong and he makes it out alive. When It’s gotta be me is the only thing to say, but later turns into an angry It never should have been me because the world looks different when it’s smeared with your blood.

And it’s always the lost boys who make decisions like that. Steve wonders, some nights in cold sweat, what happens if he makes these decisions without immediate danger. What happens if he just… decides to jump. Decides to run. To give the world more of his blood. Without saving anyone.

It’s not like he wants to — but he’s terrified that it’s just who he is. Who he’s turned into, terrified that his friends will forever expect him to.

And he’s even more terrified knowing that Mike jumped before he learned about monsters. Before he learned about fighting and surviving.

You were a kid, he wants to say again, but his throat is closing up on him.

“I don’t think that’s okay actually,” Mike says after a while, tearing Steve away from his fears. They’re still both looking ahead rather than at each other, but it’s fine. They’re still here. “Like, people say it is, but it feels so empty when they do, you know? Like, sure, yeah, I’m not fucking okay, but what the hell do we do about that now? Oh, right, I know! Let’s throw it in my face that I’m not good enough for you anymore now that there’s no monsters to kill anymore. Now that I’m just Mike, who’s not even enough to be that anymore, sure. Right. Yeah. Let’s pretend it’s all fine, Steve, let’s pretend it’s okay to hurt all the fucking time!”

Mike is shaking now, violent tremors running through his body, and Steve’s first instinct is to reach out and pull him close, to keep him from that edge and take him to his car; turn on the heating and talk there. But Mike seems to need the darkness, seems to need to be faced with endless depth to give voice to his thoughts.

“What Dustin said was messed up. He shouldn’t have said that.”

Mike shrugs, throwing more pebbles into the darkness, though his motions have lost their vigour. “He’s right, though.”

Steve sighs, though not unkindly. “No, he’s not. Hey, listen to me.” He waits until Mike turns to meet his eyes, and he leans forward. “It’s not okay. It’s not right what he said. You don’t deserve to have that shit thrown in your face just because Dustin is a tactless little douche bag.”

Taking a bullet for someone is not the baseline for friendship, he wants to say, and it occurs to him once again how fucked up their perception and idea of friendship must be, now that they’ve all bonded over the most horrific shit and actual grief they never learned how to work through.

It’s not even Dustin’s fault, not really. They’re all just collateral damage to something Bigger, and all they have is each other, leaving them in a vicious cycle that is so, so fucked up.

“Why’d you jump?” he asks eventually, quiet in case the darkness tries to listen in. “Back then, why did you jump?” And do you wish El had let you? Do you sometimes wish that? When your room is quiet and it’s only you living with all those silent, terrible decisions?

Mike shrugs again, but there’s not much fight left in him, Steve can see that, can feel it in the air between them.

“Will was gone,” he says like it explains everything— and it sort of does. Steve has seen the way these boys look at each other when the other’s not looking, he has seen the hurt and the anger and the gentleness stored there, the words unspoken and the fear that, despite interdimensional monsters, kinda goes unmatched.

Because they have each other. They only have each other. And if someone’s suddenly different than what they thought they knew, if someone’s suddenly different, then… Everything might just fall apart.

And Steve wants to grab him again; wants to pull him close and say, I’m the same. We have the same scars. We have the same!

Slowly, carefully, he does lean over now, weaving an arm around Mike’s shoulders and pulling him into his side.

“I get that.”

Mike swallows heavily and exhales shakily. “I don’t think you do.”

“No. I think I really, really do. But it’s okay, Mike. You won’t be alone with this, okay. I’m on your side, you little shit.”

A pause, a beat, a moment’s respite. Then, “Why?”

“Because,” his heart is racing, his mouth trembling around forming the words for the first time, but he knows it’s the right thing to do. Knows it’s important.

Knows it might just save a life.

“Because I fell harder for Eddie Munson than I ever thought possible, and once i found out what was happening, I kind of wanted to jump off a cliff, too. But I didn’t, because I had someone with the same fears as me, and instead of stupid shit we just… Cried together sometimes. Screamed into our pillows. Laughed with and at each other, calling ourselves hopeless, and— I don’t know. It’s really fucking scary, and that doesn’t go away just because you have someone to talk to. But it‘s… better. It’s so much better.”

He huffs, swallowing around the lump in his throat, smiling into the darkness.

“So I’ve got you, okay? Whatever it is, whatever makes you feel like it’s not fucking okay, I’ve got you. You come to me, yeah? Lucas does, Dustin does, even Max does. This is your official, standing invitation and whatever, okay, dickhead?”

Mike shoves at him lightly, still not parting from the rather awkward side-hug they’ve got going on, and Steve is glad for it.

“Okay, okay, geez,” the little shithead says, rolling his eyes which Steve can see even in the dark, and it feels like the edge has moved away from them, like they have solid ground beneath their feet again.

Steve doesn’t say anything more after that, just waiting for Mike to stir to lead him back to the car, load in his bike and take him wherever he feels like spending the night.

But Mike doesn’t move for another long while, and it makes Steve feel like something big has just happened between them. Like they finally have found the common ground that Steve’s been suspecting they had for months now, even years.

Eventually, as they make their way to the car and Mike goes to grab his bike, he speaks up again, but more subdued now.

“Hey, Steve?”

“Hmm?”

“Does… Does Eddie know?”

“About what?” My tendencies to take a leap off the edge?

“You. Being…”

“Oh!” A smile as he unlocks his car and opens the back door to squeeze Mike’s old bike in there with minimal smears of dirt. “I’d hope so, we’ve been dating for months.”

“You’re dating?! You? Eddie’s dating you?”

“Yeah, listen, do you want me to just leave you here or would you rather be thrown out in the middle of nowhere?”

Mike grumbles something unintelligible as he climbs into the front seat, waiting for Steve to start the engine before he speaks up again.

“It’s just, you’re so… How did you even do that?”

Steve laughs at that, disbelieving and all, because, “Trust me, I have no idea. Must have been the ol’ Harrington charm and all that.”

Mike rolls his eyes and crosses his arms in front of his chest, sinking lower in the seats to pout. “You’re so lame.”

“Sorry, I couldn’t hear you over how much I have a boyfriend and you don’t.”

If his heart skips a beat because it still feels like a forbidden truth saying the word out loud despite the playful banter, then he’s ignoring that in favour of revving the engine.

“Asshole.”

“Dickhead.”

“Grow up,” Mike says, but Steve can see the smile he’s not even trying to hide, and he mirrors it with his own as he turns on the radio catching the final tunes of Springsteen’s Dancing in the Dark.

They’re not okay, none of them. But the car is warm, the cliff’s edge is behind them, and they’re not listening to the same ten songs anymore.

They’re getting better, step by tiny step.

[michaelinprogress]

hey guys im back to talk about mike wheeler again

I feel like people talk about will and his loss of childhood a lot, which is so devastating ofc, and it's definitely a huge theme in the show (god praise the duffers), but when are we going to talk about Mike and his loss of a childhood?

Will is the more obvious one for this trope, as we still see him wanting to play D&D in season three, but what about Mike?

Mike, who argues with his mom about starting to get rid of his toys and action figures

Mike, who still has all of Will's drawings from when they were kids hung up on his walls

Mike, who still spends most of his time in the basement instead of his bedroom because his happiest childhood memories are there

Mike, who stayed in the same style of clothing he wore when he was younger and didn't begin to develop his own sense of style until Eddie made fun of him, saying his mother dresses him

I feel like a big part of why Mike got so angry at Will for being "childish" is because his family and the world around him makes him feel more ashamed for still feeling young and not wanting to move on yet. He associates his inner child with Will, and he can't love Will like he does, so he forces himself to "grow up," mainly in the way of dating El. Will's refusal to leave his childhood is more understandable, and I know Joyce is a gentle and good mother and would never make him feel ashamed for feeling how he does.

But when Mike makes him feel ashamed? He leaves it all behind, he makes himself abandon his childhood, accepting that he needs to grow up and destroying castle byers. When he's faced with his childhood ending, he takes it and destroys it himself, in a way. But Mike? Mike can only suppress as far inwards as he can, still behind Will in leaving childhood, even though he can't admit it.

They both lost things, and they both have very different trauma, and I think it's time we start exploring Mike's a little more!!!!!!!

[your-stranger-halfblood-things]

Mikes's family being super religious, so when he's having thoughts of others boys, he starts panicking and getting really anxious because "oh no, god will hate me". But then when he kisses Will for the first time, he knows that he isn't a mistake because god wouldn't have made two boys kissing feel so good, and feel so right, if it was wrong

[stardust-moth]

In order to fully understand why it was so hard for Mike to express how deeply he loves El, and why his speech at the end of season 4 was one of the biggest, most important moments for his entire character, we need to look at not just who Mike is as a person, but also everything that has happened since he met her.

Every single time he opens up his heart to her, something horrible happens to her or she's taken away from him almost immediately afterwards.

1x08; he's an awkward little ball of feelings that are way too big for a boy so young. He makes a nervous attempt at confessing and asking her out on a date; when he can't find words that she'll understand, swoops in for a kiss instead. She lights up immediately and smiles. It's a brief moment of hope and pure happiness. Maybe they can have some semblance of a normal life and be normal kids after this is all over.

Minutes later, all hell breaks loose-- they're almost shot, El pushes herself too far until she can barely move, she's almost taken away by the Bad Men, the Demogorgon appears, and she uses the very last of her strength to sacrifice herself to save him and their friends.

He has to watch helplessly as she disappears.

He spends a year caught between believing she's dead and hoping she's still out there somewhere (but if she is alive then why won't she talk to him anymore...?). Kept silent under threat by the lab, he can't confide in anyone or even acknowledge her existence, not with anyone except those involved... but everyone else is keen on moving on and pretending it never happened. He can find some solidarity in Will, at least, who is in a similar kind of emotional turmoil... but it's not the same and it's not enough.

2x9; he is finally reunited with El, and she runs into his arms like she missed him too. She tells him that all those nights he called out to her, she heard him; she was there reciprocating his feelings the whole time.

In a burst of emotions that he's been forced to suppress for an entire year, he lashes out at the reason they've been kept apart (Hopper), screaming and sobbing. It's a massive catharsis for him, and for once an adult is understanding enough to hold him and not punish him for it.

Minutes later, she is going to go headfirst into a pit of monsters, the place where Mike had just firsthand witnessed dozens of people (if not more) get ripped to shreds only hours earlier, and she is going to attempt to close the Gate-- a feat that he knows may take every ounce of her power, just like last time. He cries. He can't lose her again. She promises he won't, and before she can seal that promise with a kiss, they're pulled apart again.

He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

3x1; all seems to be okay now. He and El are happily together, and he feels comfortable enough to be playful, romantic, and intimate with her. It's the most emotionally open we've ever seen Mike thus far.

For reasons he can't understand (bc there's no way Hopper explained himself beyond "I'm in charge so do as I say or else"), Hopper is angry about it and threatens to never allow him to see her again: the one thing he fears most.

He panics big time and fucks it up in the process by lying to her. During a frantic attempt to apologize while also abiding by Hopper's rules, he runs into her at the mall. He panics again-- if anyone finds her here, and knows that he was here too, it's all over, and Hopper surely won't hear reason. El dumps him cold on the spot, spurred on by Max and her rebellious attitude (and without any context of course). He isn't given much opportunity to respond. He knows he's in the wrong for lying to her, so what could he even say...?

He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

It's a hard blow, and he retreats back into himself, unable to get any joy out of playing D&D (which he clearly hasn't lost interest in), back to the deadpan sarcasm and accidentally snapping a little too harshly at anyone whom he feels would take El's place.

3x6; no one seems to understand the danger El is putting herself in. Everyone is berating him for worrying about her safety. He's seen firsthand what these monsters do to people, he's seen firsthand how El pushes her abilities too far. No one is listening.

The words "I love her and I can't lose her again" burst out in his desperation, perhaps before he's even had a chance to realize how deep those feelings run, despite whatever protective walls he's tried to build around his heart to keep it from getting broken again.

Soon after, all hell breaks loose. El is nearly killed several times over, her leg is ripped open, she pushes herself so hard that she breaks herself and loses her powers completely. Her father is taken from her. She's shattered by all of this, and there's absolutely nothing he could do or say to make it better.

She tells him that when he admitted he loves her, she heard him, and indeed she loves him, too... But now she's leaving.

He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

4x1; they've been apart for a few months, and write letters back and forth to each other. El's letters paint a picture of an ideal new life: she and the Byers family are doing well; she's starting school and it's going well; she's made new friends, she likes her new home, everything is going well. She seems to be thriving. She sounds happy, maybe even happier than she had been living in Hawkins. Maybe Max was right, maybe she's better off being her own person without him, and maybe the respectful thing to do is step back... It's a small insecurity that creeps up subconsciously. In his replies he holds back, afraid of clinging too hard.

Though there's little logic in it, he's afraid that if he tells her he loves her again, another disaster might strike and this lovely happy life she's finally found might get taken from her. After all, that's what always seems to happen when he does.

4x2; after months of waiting, they can finally see each other again. He wears her favorite colors, picks a handful of flowers for her, and falls happily back into step with how they used to be. Soon that same day, however, reality becomes clear and the facade crumbles. People he was told were her friends show up to torment and publicly humiliate her. She had been lying. She isn't happy here, she hasn't healed, she is right at the edge of a breaking point that he doesn't see coming at all. He can't believe she would lie to him, she's not the kind of person to lie... especially not about something like bullying, something that she was always so understanding about with him.

On that logicless subconscious level, he wonders if it's all his fault-- he should have known somehow, he should have been there for her. She protected him from his bullies, he should have protected her from hers. He tries to come to her rescue. She runs away from him.

He's helpless to save her, again.

4x3; after a night to process everything that happened-- and deciding that the betrayal he feels from her lying to him is nothing compared to the turmoil she must be going through right now-- Mike approaches her in the gentlest way possible, wanting to listen and trying to understand. El, however, isn't receptive at all to his attempts at reassurance. She is at an all-time low, she's given up. She believes she is unlovable, irredeemable, a monster, just a thing that doesn't even have those superhuman abilities to compensate anymore. Mike can't believe what he's hearing-- doesn't she know that she's always been so much more than her powers? She's always been so much more than what she lacks in quote-unquote "normalcy"... None of those things matter, they have absolutely no bearing on whether she's worthy of being loved, because he loves her, completely regardless of any of these things. He always has...

El starts flinging his restrained words back at him, the products of his insecurity and trauma-induced fear. That fear takes hold yet again, and he stumbles, afraid of saying too much or not enough, because surely both could result in pushing her away-- she's retreating, hearing none of it; nothing he tries to say consoles her.

Moments later, local police come knocking. She's taken away in cuffs, and she's so broken inside that she won't even look at him when he chases the police car down the street and promises he'll get her out somehow...

Once again, he has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

4x8/4x9; after days of driving through the heat and dryness of southwest desert, having narrowly escaped being shot at with military-grade assault rifles, witnessing the death of and burying a man whose last words were that El is in danger... After watching dozens of people get mowed down by a sniper in a helicopter, and watching that same helicopter be smashed into the ground in a ball of flames...

There she is. Just as powerful and beautiful and alive as she's ever been. When he runs to her and embraces her, she looks at him like she can't believe he's real. She's beaming a smile right from her soul and it's like all the insecurity and self-doubt that have plagued them both just vanish from existence now that they're in each other's arms again.

Like always, however, the universe comes crashing down soon after. Max is marked for a gruesome death and all of Hawkins is in danger. They're miles away and helpless, and the only possible way for El to save everyone is if she goes in alone. She's stronger than ever, but so is her foe. Once again, she descends to face all the demons of hell on her own, and Mike can't do anything.

She's losing. She's choking. She's dying. He's helpless.

He must be cursed. He must be. Being with her, loving her, allowing himself to admit he loves her, it always brings only pain and suffering and loss. His heart is so full that it's aching, it's bursting out of his chest, and he can't contain it any longer.

She's going to die and it's going to be all his fault, because he fell in love, and it's cursed her.

Just before it all crumbles into utter despair, the earnest support from his oldest and dearest friend-- one who's always shared and understood his feelings of helplessness-- sparks a light of hope in him: "You're the Heart." You're not helpless. You can save her.

The words that come spilling out of Mike's mouth are truer than any he's ever dared to speak before, and it's the most terrified he's ever been, but he has enough courage for this moment. Despite all of the fears that have been building, stifling, choking him to death for years-- fears that the light of his life will inevitably disappear again, and there's nothing he can do to stop it-- despite it all, he pours out his heart to her.

He loves her. He's always loved her. He loves everything she ever was, is, and could be. He can't imagine a world without her in it. She saved him, in every way a person can be saved. And he needs her to live. He believes in her.

And it works. It's music to her ears.

[himynameis4]

One of my favorite things about the madwheeler roleswap au (first post here) is that we get to play with—and highlight—dynamics.

Max is very big on getting El to choose, on asking El what she needs. She really views El as another girl—one with superpowers, sure, but just another person, like her. “You’re a superhero” (mike) versus “You have superpowers” (max). Trusting el to make her own decisions about her powers, versus trying to dictate what she does with them. (Mike had a point—El does tend to push herself too far, because of her self-sacrificial nature. Mike’s own trauma and perspective prevented him from articulating this in a way that didn’t come off as controlling, because he absolutely was being controlling, and acting like a little shit (earlier). But he’s our little shit.)

In a sense, I think having El in Max’s life earlier will give her this… template, to work off of. El’s context for her interactions is very limited, and her reference points in canon (as of pre-season 2) are Papa, Mike, and the rest of the Party (though she engaged most directly with Mike). Her time with Joyce made an impression, but wasn’t long enough for El to fixate on in the same way.

Having Max in her life allows her to contrast Hopper and Mike’s behavior to Max’s; she may not have the words to articulate exactly what is different, but both Hopper and Mike do a lot more dictating.

And actually? Having the reference point of Max’s behavior (Max isn’t perfect, either, btw—she and Mike are A Lot more similar than either of them might admit) to compare Hopper and Mike to, and to use to call out Hopper and Mike, might actually lay a stronger foundation for El and Mike to become friends. El has the comparison to see the ways Mike tends to be more… bossy, than Max, and articulate that it bothers her (especially once she and Max reunite & can gossip). El can then articulate as much to Mike, who, once he understands what he’s done wrong, usually tries to make amends, if imperfectly. (The fact that they’re not pushing themselves into a comphet relationship will probably also help, ngl). El also has it impressed on her by Max, in the week she’s with Max, the importance of El getting to choose what she likes, because Max does a lot more asking.

That’s one dynamic I like playing with, at least.

[gayofthefae]

Thinking about allegory and how Bob hid from the monsters in a closet to keep himself safe and it worked. But he was in danger from the second he left because he was too loud about leaving.

[bylergetonefree]

“mike and el are endgame, they’ve literally been in a relationship since they were twelve!!”

ok but have you considered they are traumatized

[mikesigninspection]

Honestly, can this scene contain more topics than just one?

As expected, people are asking themselves what are Mike and Nancy discussing about.

Is it about (Holly's) disappearance or, could it be about the relationships (Jancy and Byler). Maybe it could even be Mike talking 'bout his and El's problems and what do you know, he could be coming out to Nancy!

My question is, can't they include everything I just mentioned in their talk?

Can't they just start a conversation about Holly's disappearance, reveal how guilty they feel, what they should've done to protect her and how they could rescue her. Talk about what she is going through. Then tie that with Will's disappearance, how he must've felt during it. How he could help due to his experience, and through the talk, Mike could reveal his guilt and the fear of losing him. Nancy could ask him where he stands with El rn, wanting to understand what her little brother is going through (considering they should reveal their fears so they don't get possessed) and he could talk about the problems, how he acted back in Lenora, what even happened there . He could bring up the bathtub speech which could then be connected to the painting and its own story.

It could have Mike talking about how it all makes him feel, which could again, lead to a potential coming out to Nancy. Nancy could also intertwine with the talk, bringing up the Jancy situation and they could end up joking 'bout the Byers/Wheelers love curse.

They could finally explore that siblings bond and catch a breath for a moment.

[bigbazoxngas]

its so funny cause everyone’s always like “oh yeah Mike? He’s fine” and then the camera cuts to Mike and he’s just

[lillie98]

How to Save the World—Stranger Things 5

I’ve had some time to sleep on the episode titles and think about them, read theories, etc. and I now believe they might be real.

Hear me out: Stranger Things is all about cycles, parallels, tropes happening over and over again. The Duffers love taking a moment and repeating it in slightly different ways to prove a point. The story started with “The Vanishing of Will Byers” because we needed to place a small, innocent child in the center of our story, something to bring our character together and drive them to action. Well, that child is no longer in danger and our team is ripping apart at the seams. It’s almost like we need something similar to reunite everyone and drive them to action again.

Remember: The Duffers love parallels. Will’s disappearance brought his deeply fractured family together, uniting them for a common cause. It also brought Nancy and Jon together when their families needed them most. Now, the Byers are a united front, ready to tackle any monster that comes their way. They are the glorification of the avant-gard family. Now which family is struggling? The Wheelers. The perfect, All-American Nuclear Family: Mom, Dad, 3 kids, and a picket fence. They look perfect to the outside world, but behind closed doors, they are deeply struggling. They don’t communicate, the parents have no idea what’s happening in their children’s lives, and if they’re not careful, if they don’t come together and form a united front—they’re going to lose everything, potentially causing the end of the world. (Why? I haven’t gotten that far yet!)

Now, how do we inspire them to action? Maybe by taking the child who was born to save their crumbling marriage—the one has seen everything but, up until this point, been too young to contribute. Now, she’ll be the same age Will was when he disappeared and Mike and Will are the same age as Jon and Nancy. The Duffers are trying to illustrate the idea of “The Next Generation.” This evil, this Upside Down dimension is NEVER going to stop until someone from the Wheeler and Byers families breaks the cycle. Children will continue to vanish, the world will continue to crumble, until someone steps up and says ENOUGH. The Wheelers and Byers (parents and children) must step up and face their pasts in order to move forward.

The “Stranger Things” are not only LGBTQ+ matters, they are the skeletons we hide in the closet that literally eat us alive. They are the dark, festering parts of ourselves we don’t let anyone else see. The invisible cancers that slowly and silently kill us. Until we face them head on, until we bring them to the light, they will NEVER die. Stranger Things is about owning your past, facing your fears, and finding the light again.

So yes, Stranger Things will end with Will Byers making it home from Mike Wheeler’s house on November 6, 1983, but not in a time traveling way, in a finally letting go of that scared, pained little boy who thought the world was better off without him. It’s Mike accepting his sexuality and place in his family. His role as a leader. It’s Joyce accepting love from Hopper, who must accept that he is not actually cursed, but that sometimes, bad things happen to good people, even when they think they’re doing the right thing (Vietnam). it’s Karen and Ted falling in love again and fighting to save their family. It’s Eleven discovering that love, not anger, should fuel her powers. It’s mourning your stolen childhood while stepping into the version of yourself that child never got to be. It’s stopping the cycle and creating a better world for the Will Byers and Mike Wheelers and Jane Hoppers of tomorrow. THAT’S how you become a Hero.