#mikael hoo

[cyberrats]

- Look at the pinned on @mallratsys for our general information, This blog is still a major wip. -

[taidekuja]

Myyjäesittely:

Kuvittaja Mikael Hoon pöydässä on myynnissä kasviteemaisia printtejä ja kuvitettu novelli Journal of a Botanist. Erilaista joulun meininkiä etsiville löytyy myös pakanallisia joulukortteja.

Graafikko-kuvittaja Henriikka Iivanaisella on myynnissä erilaisia kortteja ja printtejä hänen eläinaiheisista kuvituksistaan.

[blushingtendertiel]

Mikael 2 15 26 31?

Thank you for the ask!! Here is also a link to him if anyone wants to take a closer look :3 also its gonna get dark just as they say on the tin, content warning under the picture.

CONTENT WARNING: suicide attempt

2. What is the thing they feel the most guilty about? He feels most guilty about not meeting the expectations his home clan had set for him, he was meant to be an ice ambassador instead of bookkeeper but the job did'nt suit him and he suffered a mental breakdown.

15. Who do they hate the most? It used to be himself, but luckily it has changed. Mikael probably doesn't hate anyone currently.

26. Have they ever been seriously injured? When he tried to kill himself by poison it rendered some of his organs unusable and it took a long time of healing and magic to make them work again.

31. Do they have self-confidence or self-image issues? Hoo boy. He sure does but time and therapy and having new friends in the Pyramid have helped :3

[malethirsty]

Loyalty - Tyler Lockwood

Summary: When Klaus’s #2 makes eyes with you, Klaus sets the two of you up. But when you encounter an issue, it’s down to you to pull through for the both of you.

Warnings: M/M smut (21+), Bareback (However Orgasm occurs once Tyler pulls out, make of that what you will), Homophobic comments, Elena and co. become villains

Inspired by: https://twitter.com/MaleThirst/status/1196818509830819841

Life had changed drastically since Klaus had found out how to make hybrids. He moved you quickly into his house & got his new army to guard you in case Elena and her friends tried to pull any punches, The Council did indeed cut you off, but the Mikaelson fortune was extended to you by Klaus & the day spent shopping with Rebekah helped you both to bond. What was the most surprising thing was that you were now spending more time with Tyler Lockwood. You expected Elena to surround a support group around him, or ask him to spy on Klaus, but she ditched him, as it had been found out that Klaus had sired Tyler, and thus Tyler was now fiercely loyal to him. It was good to have someone else to share an admiration for Klaus & on days when the Original Hybrid had to battle against Damon & Mikael, you took time with Rebekah to train the newest hybrid. It was a Friday night that you all finally got to take a break from hecticness of it all. “Don’t you usually go to the Mystic Grill on Fridays, love?” Klaus pondered as he saw you flopped down, trying to find something on Netflix. “I mean I would, but Elena and all her friends are there, and I know they’ll send me out of the bar.” Klaus could tell you were still a bit down following your exile & leaned in to give you a kiss “Y/N, You need to boost your confidence. I’ll send Rebekah to watch from afar, but also, to make them that much more pissed, tonight I’ll send you out to the Mystic Grill with Tyler as a date, make Caroline jealous.” You snorted, it did sound like a good idea but “Is Tyler up for this?” You asked, you wanted it to be his idea & not Klaus planting him there “I asked him, he said yes. He also said he has a thing for you as well, so I’ve booked you next to her hotel room where she’s staying for the night before flying out for some Miss Virginia thing, keep her up all night.” “And how would I do that?” Klaus leaned up to whisper in your ear “You know how love. Do you always do with me every night” you knew that Klaus meant to fuck Tyler and while the idea sounded good.

“I’ll let Tyler know to be ready at a quarter to 8.” Klaus smiled, dimples on show as you headed into the closet, to pick out some good clothing. In next to no time, whether it be a need to impress you or due to his newly acquired speed, Tyler was ready & waiting as he walked you down the street, hand in hand. Right behind you was Rebekah not only your escort but also giving dirty looks to those who were giving you & Tyler side eye, which was comforting to you, it was nice to know Klaus, Tyler & Rebekah at least cared about your wellbeing, even if the world around you was less than sympathetic. As you entered the Mystic Grill, you saw the majority of the building taken up for Caroline’s big title party. Rebekah positioned herself near the door as You & Tyler selected the same secluded booth that you had gone to the night You & Klaus became partners. Ordering your usual Chips & Garlic Bread, Tyler ordering the same with a massive burger, you eventually opened up the conversation. “So Klaus told me about you having a thing for me.” Tyler gave a slight grin “When did you know & why didn’t you tell me earlier?” “Well it was a while ago, after Dad died, I realised I was free from his vileness, and I was going to tell you after the funeral, but then everything with Mason and turning happened, I threw myself into what I had become instead of managing both my crush & that.” Tyler swallowed, clearly not used to letting out a lot “It’s alright Tyler, you went through a lot so quickly, I’m not angry and you had every right to work on yourself before hand.” Tyler grinned as his burger got placed on the table “Jesus Christ, That’s massive! How are you gonna get through that?!” Tyler shrugged “You know that before I was a hybrid, I played football right Y/N? I’ve always had a big appetite.” “What exactly is the appeal of football? I’ve never understood.” Tyler shot a grin at you “Y/N, tonight I’m gonnna give you a crash course.”

And indeed he did, outlining the rules of the game, his favourite team and some spectacular moments that he had achieved with Mystic Falls during his tenure as a player. Usually you’d scoff at sport talk but Tyler was so engaging in great conversation, that you didn’t mind a second, and as much as you listened to him, he listened to you discuss your likeness of musical theatre with the same enjoyment plastered on his face as you had when he talked. “Y/N, I’m having one of the best date nights ever, Little Miss Blonde over there couldn’t compare” you were about to start laughing when at that exact moment, Elena’s group came over to your table. “Well hello there” Damon said somewhat curtly “Hello Damon, I guess you’re here to intimidate us” you responded, “Now Y/N, me intimidate, never!” Damon mockingly feigned outrage “Well it’s not for the bourbon since there’s none at our table” you quipped back, Elena stepping in. “No we aren’t here to intimidate, we wanted to take a look at the man who stabbed me in the back last week, who sold us all to Klaus, who made me a blood bag, how you had the nerve to show up at our bar and stage some sort of mock date to get under Caroline’s skin”. Whilst Elena was right about trying to get Caroline riled up, she had no business questioning Tyler’s feelings for you, which made you angry, and looking over to where Tyler sat, you noticed he was gripping his fists angrily, trying bot to let an outburst emerge and ruin the night. Looking to your left, you saw Rebekah had heard what was going on and had stepped up from her table, with your own group of friends ready to back you up, you decided that you might as well strike back, wasn’t as if she could do worse “Wow Elena, your ass is jealous at the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth” Seeing Elena’s shit eating grin thinking that she had intimidated you fall was quite possibly the sight of the year, but you weren’t done, not at all “Firstly, Tyler was close to dying, so if I hadn’t said anything, he wouldn’t be here, also when was the last time any of you acknowledged me in your supernatural group of expertise? I didn’t owe you a God damn thing. And this ‘mock date?’ How would you know that Tyler’s feelings are genuine?” “Because I dated him for several months & as an ally I can tell when someone has feelings for men.” Caroline said now stepping forwards next to Elena to survey the scene. You turned to face Caroline, intending to give her the same verbal lashing as Elena “It’s about time someone told you Caroline, but having a group of Gay Friends who help you shop & quoting lines from RuPaul’s Drag Race does not make you an ally, it makes you an insufferable cunt.” A snorting laugh came from your left, and without turning, you knew that Rebekah had enjoyed your comment Now Caroline was looking like she’d been hit over the face with how red she’d turned, embarrassed she’d been called out at her party, good.

“Why would you have even gotten up with Klaus though?” Inquired Bonnie, “Yeah, what did he offer you: Money, Power, Immortality?” Jeremy seconded. “Nothing, what he did do was tell me about his loneliness & I remembered the times I felt pushed out and I thought if others could give me grace after being tossed to the side, the least I could do is return it to others.” “Oh Boo Hoo.” Damon prodded in, “Klaus is making an army without asking any of the wolves if they want in.” “How-” Tyler began angrily and Rebekah’s feet began to stomp towards the table, which Elena & Bonnie had acknowledged by the look of intimidation on their faces, however you stood up very suddenly, determined to stand your ground “How’s Vicki? Did you make sure she wanted to be immortal? You know, after you gave her your blood & snapped her neck.” An uncomfortable silence filled that section of the bar. “Bonnie, how is carrying Anna’s death going? You know the woman your current squeeze was dating? How were all the vampires minding their own business going before you tripped up the device & caused so much disaster, that almost caused Jeremy to die? Wasn’t that because all vampires were the same?, a pity story after your Grams passed, yet you stand with Damon and have the audacity to lunge after me. And you two” Y/N pointed at Elena & Jeremy, “You two are cut from the same cloth. Jeremy you knew about Bonnie tripping up the device, killing Anna & yet you two are dating and Elena you complain about Klaus needing your blood for something so little as turning which is somehow so bad, yet when Katherine didn’t open her legs to welcome Damon, he snapped your brothers neck, yet you forgave him somehow. I’m not saying you can’t forgive him, but if you’re going to let Damon’s miniature things go, then you need to let Klaus’s go. I’m aware that Klaus isn’t the picture perfect idea of humanity you all want, but you keep excusing the darkness in your own supernatural partners, not to mention yourselves, so you have some nerve isolating me like I’m the only one lavishing in it. Stay the fuck away from me.” You grabbed Tyler’s hand and marched out of the Mystic Grill. “Nice work-“ Rebekah began, but in your angry mood, you marched right past her with Tyler in tow. “Rude” she muttered under her breath as she reached for her phone to tip off Klaus that whilst you’d blown her off, you finally grew a backbone.

You walked several streets in a huff before stopping to breathe, at that point, Tyler hugged you. “T-Tyler, are you alright?” You questioned, “Yeah, it’s just that you could see me getting angry and you stood up for me instead. You were so scared of being confronted by them, but you stood your ground to their faces. You may not have faced down a vampire or a wolf, but you Y/N are the bravest out of us all.” You smiled “Thanks Tyler” he leaned in & kissed you. You took a moment to let Tyler endulge before you began to kiss back, running your hands down Tyler’s back before you were slammed into the lamppost. Whilst you wanted Tyler, you didn’t want to be written up for public sex, so you broke the kiss “Let’s get back to Klaus’s and continue this there.” “But what about antagonising Caroline?” Tyler questioned, but you had your answer ready “I think we’ve antagonised her enough, besides she’d probably rub herself to your moans and shit, I don’t want to give her the satisfaction.” Tyler let a cold smirk cross his face, he knew you wanted to be fucked hard, and that’s what he planned to do. Deciding to test out Tyler’s compelling skills on a homeless person, you gave him the room Klaus had booked out & you both made your way back to The Mikaelson Compound. It was empty, so you & Tyler could fuck as loud as you could, so he sped you up to your room and as the door closed, Tyler slammed you up against it, kissing you passionately, the same as he did on the street, however this time, your clothes were removed with vampire speed. Standing there naked, Tyler took in your nude form with a twinkle in his eyes, you blushed slightly which made Tyler smile “You’re cute when you’re flustered Y/N.” Tyler commented and with that he began to undress as well, intending to take time so you could see the goodies under his clothes.

As he removed his shirt, Tyler pulled you in for a kiss, his tongue sliding into your mouth as he deepened it. You began to feel around his shirtlessness, tweaking at his nipples which make the newly turned hybrid moan in your ear, the sound like molten gold to you. Suddenly you were thrown with all of Tyler’s might onto the bed, Tyler made sure you were looking up as he disposed of his pants and underwear in one go, his cock standing proud and hard. He began to walk towards you, cockily flaunting all the while “You want this dick don’t you Y/N?”, you nodded, but that didn’t appease the hybrid who sped towards you and gripped you by the neck, softly yet dominant “Talk to me Y/N, do you want me to fuck you all night?, have you crying my name as I make you cum from my stroke? Answer me.” He spoke the last part cooly as he playfully tightened his grip on your throat, making you feel a bit light headed “Yes Tyler, please fuck me as hard as you can.” You moaned out, making him laugh “As hard as I can? God this is gonna be good.” He laid his hand out, spitting onto it before stroking his hard member, coating it with the makeshift lube all the while looking at you all sprawled out, naked for him, and while he tried to maintain his cockiness, you could see from the ripples of pleasure on his face. Once he had lathered himself up enough, Tyler didn’t waste anymore time and used his newly acquired speed to to thrust deep into your ass, making you cry out at the sting. “Fuck, shit, your tighter than Caroline.” Tyler moaned out, you couldn’t even form words from how big he was and how he was stretching you out so right, all that came out was a mewling cry, which the hybrid smirked at. Rocking his cock deeper inside your tight canal, he began a passionate pace, looking down into your eyes as he fucked you deep so he could see how you crumbled apart for him, how desperate you were to take his dick. He locked you in another kiss again, moaning into it as you trailed your hands down his back, until he slammed in balls deep, colliding head first with your prostate, you cried out & instictively tightened your grip, sinking your fingers into Tyler. “Sink it in pretty boy, scratch down my back till you draw blood while I fuck you the way Vicki & Caroline could never handle, but you can, you fucking slut.”

The rough dirty talk emerged a desire in you to meet Tyler’s challenge head on. You dug in harder as Tyler cried out from the mix of pain and pleasure, all thoughts of Caroline and the confrontation gone, all you both wanted to do was chase down your orgasms. Your fingers began to feel a bit moist and you took them away from Tyler’s back to see you’d got him deep that there was blood dripping “Taste it” Tyler panted in your ear “Taste me Y/N, I know you want to.” With Tyler’s encouragement, you locked eyes with him drew your tongue across your fingers, tasting Tyler’s blood. You moaned out from his taste, knowing it would incense him into fucking you rougher and indeed, Tyler began to rock into you so hard that the bed began to slam into the wall with every thrust. ”God, this is amazing, keep this up and I’ll cum for you Y/N.” “Do it Tyler, cum.” Once again Tyler squeezed your neck “I’m the hybrid here baby, you’re the human, I control you, I won’t cum till you cum apart from my dick.” Tyler’s words were accompanied by a sharp thrust deep inside you, well and truly smashing into your prostate, the driving force combined with his words was what it took for you to reach your peak and crying out Tyler’s name, you came in spurts over yourself. “Fuck, that’s hot, seeing you cum for me. You want to taste me again?” You nodded and began to move your hands to Tyler’s back again, intending to leave new marks, but instead you were met by Tyler’s full force as he slammed your hands to the bed. Groaning and spluttering out of ecstasy, his body also rippling with the same energy, Tyler pulled out and with a few simple strokes let out a loud moan as he came all over you, splattering you with even more hot cum.

As he calmed down, Tyler wiped his hand in his load, covering his fingers with the sticky white substance and held it up to your mouth “Taste it” he said again, reminiscent of when he wanted you to drink his blood, except this time, there was a more erotic tone to his voice, he wanted all of his essence inside you. Never losing eye contact with the Lockwood, you licked across your hand, taking in his salty sweet seed, even sucking it off your fingers while moaning which made Tyler grin “Fuck, if people only knew how perfect you are.” He breathed out “I do” came a distinctive british voice that could only mean... “Klaus!” you both exclaimed as you looked over to see the hybrid standing in the doorway, watching you both with a smirk on his face “I thought you were at the hotel making Caroline sulk.” “No, you should have seen though, Y/N pretty much tore them all a new one” “I don’t doubt that, Rebekah texted me and told me about it. She also told me you’d left without talking to her.” He eyed you closely “I was in an angry mood” you tried to explain, but Klaus held his hand up to silence you and you obeyed his command. “I have to say nice technique Tyler, you wanted Y/N to take his fill you of you and that you did. But now I want you to step back” With the sire bond in affect, Tyler took several steps away from the bed, Klaus grinning at his power as he walked towards you and to your excitement began to strip his clothing off “You’re going to watch as I now fuck Y/N, cause while you know how to fuck, you don’t have a thousand years of experience to you. You can masturbate to us if you want, as long as you cum once we have.” Klaus stopped at the foot of the bed, Tyler nodding as he fisted his hardening length “Good. Now love” he turned his gaze to you “Tyler’s got you ready for me, like a good sweet progeny, ready for another hybrid cock inside you.” He palmed at himself and nodding, you threw yourself back on the bed, spreading your legs. Oh yes, this was the life.

[dathen]

Adelard Dekker

I got so excited by this I legit turned my computer back on instead of going to bed to answer 

Sexuality Headcanon:  I LEGIT CANNOT CHOOSE.  I started feeling around an aroace headcanon early on cause I like giving those to my favorite characters when I don’t ship anything, and I very stubbornly interpret his friendship with Gertrude as platonic.  But then @idlecreature​ started talking about Dekker/Salesa and I like that too!  I don’t know which I like most!  I just have a multiverse with different Dekker headcanons I guess.  (which I also have for Gerry tbh)

Gender Headcanon:  Nothing in particular

A ship I have with said character:  I am charmed by the idea of Dekker/Salesa--both of them in that rare and dangerous in-between of the Magnus Archives world, where regular humans navigate a labyrinth of curses and evil gods and their servants.  Adelard has all sorts of questionable contacts, from corrupt morgue workers to maybe-Hunters to Archivists, so it’s easy to imagine Mikaele as a supplier for Adelard’s monster hunter adventures.  A big and strong and handsome supplier that sometimes he gets dinner with.    

A BROTP I have with said character:  I don’t care what TMA 167 said, Gertrude and Dekker’s friendship was REAL.  You can’t take “May you find your rest where no shadows are cast, and no eyes may see you slumber” from me!!

A NOTP I have with said character:  I wouldn’t call it a NOTP, but I got pretty pissy about early on whenever I tried to post Dekker appreciation someone would inevitably come along all “yeah!  he’s the only one worthy of Gertrude!  they fuck all the time!” and I’m just /IRRITABLY WAVES OUT OF MY FACE

A random headcanon:  This is less “random” but I like to expand on Jonny’s “headcanon” to explain the accidental writing discrepancy between his fear of death in TMA 113 and his confidence in an afterlife in later episodes.  Rather than just a temporary crisis of faith, I see it as the “dark night of the soul” sort of moment when someone with very strong faith suddenly hits that terror of “what if all these reassurances are empty and there’s nothing between me and all the horrors I can imagine” (I am 10000% projecting from my religious days here).  Hoo boy I could go on for ages about my headcanons about the intersections of Dekker’s faith and his role navigating the world of fears, but need to save it for a fic or something.   

General Opinion over said character:  Another EXTREMELY underrated character in TMA, and probably the closest thing the series has to a genuine hero.  He gives the most statements of any character in the series, and added so much dimension to the worldbuilding from a perspective that dared to step outside the usual “victim or avatar” dichotomy.  And while the statements themselves are often downright poetic, the personality and sense of humor that comes through makes me wish SO much he had the chance to interact with more characters.  

[bare1ythere]

boo hoo i spent two weeks obsessing about mikaele salesa and now he’s gone and i’m really sad about it and i’m ignoring the fact that ANNABELLE CANE, the BEST character in this podcast appeared bc i’m dumb and i have bad taste

[hyperfixatinglove]

How about all the musical asks with Ushio? 💞

Just for fun, I’ll also post the lyrics I feel fit us the most from each song ♥ Thank you Jaska :3c ♥

1. what's you and your f/o's ~theme song~?

Oh boy, there’s so many good fitting songs-

I’ll refrain and say just two:

Drive Darling by BOY 

“A silent conversation No words cause there's no need We let the tapes mix up the years And press repeat and press repeat “

And Utada Hikaru - Don’t Think Twice (I would’ve been mad at myself if I didn’t put this here jfc)

“I want you for a lifetime So if you're gonna think twice, baby I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know“

2. a song that describes your f/o.

I have entire playlist for songs I associate with Ushio!!

But I have to say Yellowcard - Here I am Alive (acoustic) describes him the best.

“If I could write to the kid I was before I'd tell him you'd get everything you ever wanted But you will still want more Someone's gonna tell you Who you should wanna be So you forget the vision that they didn't want to see“

3. a song that describes your s/i.

I don’t? Have one?

I could say Lover Fighter by SVRCINA, but that reminds me in Dying Light and not with Ushio?

But I also think Sit Still, Look Pretty by Daya would go with s/i with Ushio, since I don’t like the notion of just being eye candy, even to him. But I hate how that song puts down girly girls, there’s nothing wrong with wanting spouse or wanting diamonds..

4. a song you think your f/o would sing to you.

OH BOY (part 2)

Light Behind Your Eyes - My Chemical Romance

“If I could be with you tonight I would sing you to sleep Never let them take the light behind your eyes”

5. a song you would sing for your f/o.

Without You by Oh Wonder

“Can't be on my own without you I'm a little bit lost without you Without you”

6. a song you two could duet together 👀 i know you've thought about it

HOO BOY (I’m sorry but im just excited)

Can I have this dance - hsm soundtrack & Enchanted soundtrack - So Close!!

“Take my hand, I'll take the lead And every turn will be safe with me Don't be afraid, afraid to fall You know I'll catch you through it all“

“You're in my arms And all the world is calm The music playing on for only two So close together And when I'm with you So close to feeling alive”

7. a song that describes your pre-relationship (*cough*pining) stage

Ushio POV: Matkalla (En route) - Anna Puu

“ I'm sitting behind the wheel In the traffic jam of half past four

If I was en route 

I don't remember where to anymore and if I'll ever make it there

I can't get you out, can't get out I can't get you out of my thoughts

Someone honks

The line might budge a bit 

But if I follow, it means

I'm driving further away from you”

Mine: Daydream Away - All Time Low

“You're just a daydream away I wouldn't know what to say if I had you And I'll keep you a daydream away Just watch from a safe place So I never have to lose”

8. a song with ✨confession feels✨

Fools - Lauren Aquilina

“What if we ruin it all, and we love like fools? And all we have we lose? And I don't want you to go but I want you so So tell me what we choose

Friends, I watched us as we changed The feelings in my headspace rearranged I want you more than I've wanted anyone Isn't that dangerous?”

9. a song with 💕first kiss feels💕

Blush (Only You) by Plumb

“When you look at me I start to blush

And all that I can see is you and us

Well, baby, I'm so free to be in love

With you, with youI wanna be in love with only you

I wanna watch the sky turn grey and blue

I wanna know the kiss that's always new

I wanna be in love with only you “

10. a general song for your post-relationship stage

Kipua by Lauri Tähkä (lit. translated: Pain,Vain Elämää cover, original is by Mikael Gabriel) I have both versions in my Ushio self ship playlist bc I love it so much ♥

“I’m not afraid I can take it I know it

But when I look at you you are quiet girl

I want you to sleep between my covers, so you’ll never feel cold again”

11. a song you'd play/played at your wedding

Since I mentioned Dont Think Twice already...

Mitä jos mä rakastan sua - Yö (literally translated: What if I love you by Yö, and I have to translate lyrics myself oh boy)

“What if I love you more than love means

I say thousand times “I do”

And the (wedding) bells can ring

What if I love you to the next light year

Hundred rings I’ll put in your finger and carry to the edge of the world

I have home with you”

12. a song that describes your post-marriage stuff 👀❤

The one you say goodnight to - Kina Grannis

“And maybe you'd like someone to greet you at the door after a long, long day. I'm here for you, if you let me.I will be the one you say goodnight to.“

But also Everyday - Hsm soundtrack

“Everyday of our lives,Wanna find you there, wanna hold on tight

They say that you should follow and chase down what you dream,

But if you get lost and lose yourself, What does it really mean?

No matter where we're going, It starts from where we are.

There's more to life when we listen to our hearts and because of you, I've got the strength to start”

13. a fluffy song for you and your f/o

Too many!! This ship is fueled by tooth rotting fluff!

Kiss Me in the Morning - Stereo Skyline

“If you kiss me in the morning Say you're mine I can make it through the day alright. If you leave a little lipstick on my mind I'll be fine, I'll be fine And if I was a million miles away I'd try to make it back to you each day”

14. an angsty song for you and your f/o

I know I mentioned this already in my “Ushio’s dead” fic but its the utmost peak of angst for us

Funeral Song - Ellinoora

“After you've called someone 'dear' once, there's no going back

And when I get lost in the dark, you'll go even deeper

My wounds are yours, and your pain's mine,which is why I don't understand why you want to jump away 

Some die young, some pass away when they're old

Some never get to experience love

Because they're too scared of having to bury it

And when I do it, I'll wear a wreath on my head”

15. a badass song for you and your f/o

Somebody To Die For - Hurts

“I've got nothing left to live for Got no reason yet to die But when I'm standing in the gallows I'll be staring at the sky

Because no matter where they take me In death I will survive And I will never be forgotten With you by my side”

16. a dark/super edgy/kinda edgy song for your ship

What I believe - Skillet & My Demons by Starset

“You are what I believe I'll live and die for You This is all that I need When nothing is real you are my truth

In the darkness you shine Can You keep me safe tonight?

When I'm down on my knees You are what I believe“

“They're all around me, Circling like vultures They wanna break me and wash away my colors Wash away my colors

Take me high and I'll sing Oh you make everything okay“

17. a song you associate with them purely for aesthetic 💅

Somewhere in Neverland (acoustic) by All Time Low

“Say goodbye to the halls and the classes Say hello to a job and the taxes The weekends with old friends spilling into 9 to 5 routine Tell me how you feel over and done with Like your life is a map with no compass to guide, At the bar drinkin' way too much We sing along to "Forever Young". 

So here we go again Wishin' we could start again 

Wendy run away with me I know I sound crazy Don't you see what you do to me? I wanna be your lost boy Your last chance, a better reality”

18. a random song from their playlist/reminds you of them

Daddy Issues by The Neighborhood

“I'd do whatever I could do I'd run away and hide with you I love that you got daddy issues And I do too“

19. a song that relates to your selfship's plot, but not necessarily the ship

I don’t think I have exactly what fits this since my criteria for adding any song to my self ship playlist is that it needs to apply or at least remind me of the ship.

But I think I’ll say Ribcage by Crywolf  & Ianborg

It doesn’t quite fit by the lyrics but the general mood I get from it still fits? And I don’t have plot to go with it?

20. most popular song in your f/o's playlist

?? How would I know this?? I’m bad at guessing which is popular :D

I have a lot of BMTH and Fall out Boy and Five Finger Death Punch in my Ushio playlist so those would be popular I guess?

I’ll say Wrong Side Of Heaven - Five Finger Death Punch

“I saw the devil today and he looked a lot like me I looked away, I turned away“

21. most obscure song in your f/o's playlist

I’ll say Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want by the Smiths

[xxsovereignsarayaxx]

Elizabeth Mikaelson - What If  Chapter 14

Authors Note: I’m back baby! Here is a super long chapter to make up for my absence. I also want to get to know the super amazing family who read this so feel free to send me questions or requests. Any-hoo Enjoy this fab new chapter!! Want to be added to the Lizzie-Lijah Stag Tag? Let me know you beautiful people! 🖤💜

Lizzie-Lijah Stag Tag: @skeletoresinthebasement Daniel laid dead on the wooden floor his heart by his lifeless corpse, Elijah was busy wiping his hand that was covered in the young hybrids blood with his neatly pressed white handkerchief that was commonly found in the inner pockets of his suits. I stood in the doorway shocked but I was also happy to see my husband was finally free from his coffin and from that wretched silver dagger. Both Niklaus and Elijah had taken a glace to see me standing among them. 

"So Niklaus what did I miss?" Elijah asked. 

Nik was stunned unable to answer his brother, I couldn't help myself any longer even though I was a little distance away I sped over to my husband and looked him deep in his brown eyes momentarily getting lost in them. 

"Elizabeth you look beautiful as ever." He says while tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear and then following up to gently take my hand and plants a small kiss on my knuckle. 

"Niklaus you look surprised to see me so it wasn't you who removed the dagger from my chest." Elijah said breaking the silence, letting go of my hand and turned to take a few steps towards his brother. 

"You look like you could do with a drink. And we have a lot to discuss, so shall we?" Nik suggests, gesturing for Elijah to follow him to move to another part of the house. 

Suddenly out of nowhere Elijah sped towards his brother and attacked him throwing him through a set of closed doors, hearing glass and wood smashing alike. "Easy! I've just finished renovating" Niklaus shouts gritting his teeth. Getting back to his feet Nik rushes over and puts Elijah through a table. 

"NIKLAUS! ELIJAH!" I shouted trying to get them to stop fighting before one of them got seriously hurt. 

"You know you have every right to be mad at me. But I kept my word, I reunited you with our family." Niklaus says while he had Elijah pinned down. 

Elijah rushed up and attacks his brother once more bringing the fighting to where the coffins were stored noticing that they had no intention of stopping anytime soon I quickly had to use my speed and agility to move out of the way otherwise I would have been collateral damage. Niklaus got knocked against one of the coffins and swiftly opens the lid and removes the dagger from the occupant and threatens my husband with it while pinned against another. 

"Don't make me do this to you again Elijah!" Nik says. 

"Come on. Use it. I dare you. You'll have Kol to deal with." Elijah replied. 

"NIK!" I shouted once more. 

I was getting upset more by the second this fight carried on and my emotions were flying all around the place, I stared at the silver dagger that was in my brother in laws hand and suddenly I heard a sizzling sound and Nik drops the dagger in a flash. The sound of the dagger hitting the floor breaks my focus and I just flutter my eyelids in confusion. Using the quick sudden turn in events I rushed over and grabbed the dagger earning a glare from Niklaus and a worried look from Elijah. 

"Mikael is dead!" Nik blurted out relaxing his grip on his brother. 

"What did you say?" Elijah replied dumbfounded straightening up. 

"I killed him. With his own weapon. He's gone Elijah. Forever." Nik says walking over to me gesturing for me to hand him back the dagger, my eyes met with his and I reluctantly placed the hilt of the dagger into his palm. 

"Why do our family remain in these coffins? Finn for over nine hundred years, Kol for over a century." Elijah asks. 

"Because of Stefan Salvatore. He holds the one thing keeping me from freeing them. There are things that you do not know about our past, Elijah. Our mother's death. Things I never wanted you to know but I'm ready to tell you now. I only ask that you remember the oath of loyalty you once swore to me." Nik states, he moves to a small table that was placed to the side of the room and opens the lid on a small jar dipping the tip if the dagger inside it and made his way over to the coffin where the body if Kol was placed in. 

"Nik? What are you doing?" I asked softly. The dagger is inserted back into Kol and Nik looks at me for a moment and then at Elijah. 

"Always and forever. I need you both to stand by my side. Elijah be my brother. Help me destroy Stefan and I promise you both our family will be whole again." Nik promised us as he closed the lid on Kol's coffin.

After the confrontation between Elijah and Niklaus, Nik had left, said he was hungry and left me and Elijah alone. Instinctively I went to go find a sweeping brush to start tidying up the mess of the broken glass and wood the two brothers had caused in their fight. It was only as I was about to leave the room Elijah gently grabbed me by the hand to stop me moving. 

"I've missed you my dear." He says bringing me into an embrace. 

"I've missed you to Elijah, so much it was driving me crazy not having you by my side." I admitted inhaling his scent while feeling safe in his arms. 

"I have no intention on leaving your side again Elizabeth you have my word." Elijah tells me. 

"I love you." I replied breaking away from Elijah's embrace. 

"And I love you."

With that Elijah's lips were on mine. The feeling of his touch on my body once more brought sparks throughout my body, the kiss became rough as we moved around throughout the house and we ended up in our bedroom. My hands slipped around Elijah's neck as I looked into his eyes, a small tear left my own eyes and I pressed a long, deep kiss on his lips. 

"Forgive me." I whispered and with a simple motion I snapped the neck of my husband, his body slumped against mine as I gently laid his body on the bed, getting up  I quickly made my way over to my handbag that was placed near the door and lifted out a small needle filled with heavily concentrated vervain giving the contents a quick flick I then gently inserted the needle into Elijah's arm, I had to reduce his healing ability, I just had to. Yes I worked so hard trying to get Elijah back and I honestly I felt so guilty for snapping Elijah's neck, but I need to step up and take control to what and how this family handle things we cant just kill anyone who stood in our way, we have the ability to negotiate with our enemies so why don't we? I took a final glance at the bed and got dressed to meet up with Damon.

It was early morning and as I searched walking through some of the woods I picked up the end of a phone call. "Tea with a friend." I stood tall and proud as I waited for Damon to end the call. 

"Now your not my favorite original, matter of fact your not an original at all but your by far the prettiest of the Mikaelson's." Damon says sarcastically putting his phone in his pocket. 

"Best not let Rebekah hear you say that." I replied with a chuckle. 

"I put two and two together Damon I know it was you who removed the dagger from my husband, I mean who else would have slipped this note inside Elijah's jacket pocket?" I added pulling the note from my coat pocket holding it with two fingers. 

Damon let out a small laugh. "Oh yeah, Dear Elijah, let's get together and plot the destruction of your brother xoxo." 

I raised my eyebrow "Damon." I finished. 

"Was I right to un-dagger Elijah or are we going to have a problem?" Damon asks me. 

"Considering I took a page from Niklaus' handbook just to be here you tell me." I replied. 

"Where is that husband of yours then?" Damon asked. 

"Curious one aren't we? Elijah is currently recovering from a snapped neck so he won't be joining our little chat, but I do hope my little ruse didn’t leave any hard feelings? I'm here now let's talk." I replied sarcastically. 

"I'll start with an easy question. Any idea what kind of Klaus-killing weapon could be magically sealed in a mystery coffin?" Damon asked once more. 

"Now we both know I'm not that old however I'm aware of a few family secrets, well how about this. I shall organize I nice little evening to where your brother and Niklaus can try and patch things up and you pop the lid on the mystery coffin." I replied sweetly. 

"How about telling me what's inside it?" Damon inquired. 

"You get Stefan to agree to be on his best behavior and I'll explain everything once the lid is open." I sassed. 

"How can we be sure your on our side?" Damon asks. 

"You don't, I'll see you at eight." I said with a smile and quickly left leaving Damon standing alone in the woods.

As I returned back to the mansion I saw Elijah sitting in the living room a glass of whiskey perched on the arm of the chair he was sat crossed legged in a old book sat in his lap, he glances up as he sees me walk through the front door. All that was present of the face of my husband was the look of disappointment, so in order to get things cleared up I made my way over to him. Cautiously I closed the book Elijah was reading. 

"I understand you have have every right to be furious with me." I said quietly. 

"I don't think furious is the correct word my dear, betrayed seems to be more fitting." Elijah replied dryly. 

"I had no choice, with you gone it was down to me to play your role in this family. Niklaus was causing nothing but chaos..." I started. 

"And yet you joined him? Seems you and Niklaus have spent too much time together." Elijah interrupted. 

"My efforts were to get you back Elijah! It was all I ever wanted. I had to get Nik to believe I was on his side. I couldn't sleep at night knowing you were so close yet so far from my reach, call me pathetic but I felt like I was going insane. I didn't have your touch, presence, I just didn't have you. I chose you all those years ago and I still choose you now Elijah. You are my husband. Just as I am your wife." I shot back as I poured my feelings out. 

"I love you Lijah, I always have and I always will." I added with a whisper. 

I looked down at my wrist to check the time on my rose gold watch, I had roughly nine hours to put together a civilized dinner between the Mikealson's and the Salvatore's. 

"I hate to put this conversation on pause but we have some other matters to discuss, I've invited Damon and Stefan Salvatore to dinner tonight, if you would like to join me in having a hand to prepare the menu for this evening I would be honored. Your wine pairings have been perfect over the years." I suggested with a smile. Elijah straightened his tie and fiddled with his cuff links. 

"Of course, shall we?" Elijah says holding out his hand.

After some hard work with getting Nik to be on his best behavior and agree to attend tonight's dinner, along with setting up the perfect menu for the evening, I was finally sat in front of the wooden oak vanity in mine and Elijah's shared bedroom, carefully brushing through my curled hair to add a pair of diamond earrings, the final touches to my dress for the evening. It was an elegant off the shoulder, red knee length dress showing just the right amount of cleavage. Pairing with matching red high heels I looked simply divine. I felt the cold sensation of metal drop to my collarbone. 

"I know we haven't spoken about anything but business since this morning, but you look simply beautiful, however I felt you were missing something." Elijah says gently as he places a white gold necklace around my neck. After fixing the clasp he planted a simple kiss to my lower neck. 

"After this evening has been done and dusted I wanted to have a talk if that's ok?" I asked. 

"I'd love nothing more" Elijah replied helping me to my feet. As we both walked down the stairs hand in hand we saw Nik waiting for us at the bottom. 

"Seems that you both are better acquainted." He says with a smirk. 

"Not now brother." Elijah says shaking his head a little, as he made his way to the front door, as he opens it revealing Damon and Stefan. 

"Please behave yourself." I said in a hushed tone as I was straightening my dress. 

"Niklaus, Elizabeth our guests have arrived." Elijah says as he invites the two brothers inside, we were all stood in the hallway of the mansion. 

"Damon. Stefan. Elijah tells me, you seek an audience. Very bold. Let's discuss the terms of our agreement like civilized men, shall we?" Nik states. 

Stefan glanced at Elijah raising an eyebrow "It's better to indulge him." Elijah adds. 

"Come gentlemen, a lovely menu has been created just for tonight's proceedings, I do hope it is to your liking." I announced to try and ease the tension as I lead everyone into the dinning room, the large table was all set up with food with the slight help if the two female servants Niklaus had compelled to assist me. 

"I didn't come here to eat. Fact, I didn't want to come here at all. But I was told I had to cause Klaus would hear us out." Stefan grumbles. 

"Well, we can sit and eat this lovely meal my sister in law has put together or I can reach down your throats and pull out your insides. The choice is yours." Niklaus replies. 

We all sat at the table and everyone apart from Stefan began eating. One of the servants pours wine in our glasses. "Thank you Marla." I replied sweetly as she moved to Damon's glass. 

"Thank you, love." Damon says with a flirtatious smile. 

"You lost your appetite?" Niklaus asks Stefan. "Eat. I thought we agreed that we would leave the grumpy Stefan at home." Damon says to his brother, sighing 

Stefan starts to eat the food that was placed in front of him, I looked around the room and I gave a reassuring smile to each of the male vampires in the room. 

"That's the spirit. Isn't it nice? Five of us dining together? Such a treat. Is this what you had in mind when you pulled the dagger from my brother?" Niklaus says to Damon with a smirk. 

"Well, I know how he felt about you, so I figured the more, the merrier." Damon replied playfully and winked at Elijah. Rolling my eyes I reached out to take another sip of wine. 

"Well, Elijah and I have had our share of quarrels over the century. But we always make it through." Nik replied with a smug look. 

"The only reason why you and Elijah made it through this century is the fact that I was often around to try and stop the you pair destroying whatever house or town we lived in." I thought to myself. 

"Kind of like you and Rebekah, right? Where is she, by the way? Last I checked she was still daggered because you were afraid to face her." Stefan spoke up stealing Nik's smug expression from him. 

"If you're referring to the fact that Rebekah knows I killed our mother, I've already come clean to Elijah." Nik replied. 

"Hey, Stef, remember when you killed dad? Might want to dial down the judgment until dessert." Damon said sarcastically. 

"We're here to make a deal, Damon. Doesn't mean we need to kiss his ass for seven courses." Stefan shot back in a grump. 

"I think what your brother is trying to say is that we have a lovely evening ahead of ourselves so pace yourself Mr Salvatore." I interjected pointing my knife at Stefan with a sickly smile.

The next few courses seemed to go on without a hitch until Elijah had asked about Elena. "Stefan. Where is the lovely Elena tonight?" Elijah asked innocently. 

"I don't know. Ask Damon." Stefan replied sharply. Nik started to laugh at the sudden change of atmosphere. 

"I'm sorry, you've missed so much. Ah, trouble in paradise." I let out a sigh at Nik’s reply to his brother. 

"One more word about Elena and this dinner's over." Stefan snapped. 

I sent a glare at my brother and he stopped chuckling and put a finger to cover his lips. "Perhaps it's probably best if we keep Miss Gilbert in the do-not-discuss pile" I said to the other males at the table, hoping that it would be a warning to Niklaus to keep quite about Elena. 

"I think your right." Damon said agreeing with me. Shortly after that I had excused myself from the table to help the two compelled humans take some of the empty dishes into the kitchen to be cleaned and put away. 

"Its just the allure of the Petrova doppelganger, still so strong." Niklaus said from the other room his words echoed in my mind as I scrapped the left over food into the bin. 

"Mrs Mikaelson shall we bring out the next course?" Marla asked me. Breaking myself from my thoughts I recomposed myself, "Yes would you please take out the next course while I speak with my husband regarding another bottle of wine." I replied back to her. 

As Marla left I went over to the cupboard and selected five clean wine glasses. "So you both loved the same girl?" I overheard Stefan ask. Placing the glasses on the side I quickly re-entered the dinning room. 

"Yes both Niklaus and Elijah have loved the same girl, on more then one occasion might I add. Harsh words and blows where traded but they are as strong now then ever before because 'Family above all' is the sacred bond that keeps us together." I said proudly.  

"Family above all." Elijah and Niklaus said in unison clinking their glasses together.  

"So, why don't we move this evening along and discuss the terms of this proposal?" Elijah says to break the silence. 

"That's very simple. Klaus gets his coffin back, in exchange, he and the Original extended family leave Mystic Falls forever. Me, Stefan, and Elena live happily ever after. No grudges." Damon responds taking a sip of wine. 

"The deal sounds fair brother." Elijah says and looks at his brother. 

"I also agree Nik, maybe it is best if we leave Mystic Falls behind this time for good?" I suggested. 

"I don't think any of you understand. Elena's doppelganger blood insures that I will always have more hybrids to fight those that oppose me. I will never leave her behind." Nik starts as he gets up from his chair and paces around the dinning room, I looked at the Salvatore's and then Elijah and then cautiously got up from my own chair and made my way over to Niklaus. 

"Brother please calm yourself." I said quietly trying to calm him down. 

"Let's say I do leave her here, under your protection, what then? How long before one of you turns her into a vampire? Or worse, how long before she dies caught between your feuding? You see, each one of you truly believes that you're the one that can protect her, and that is simply a delusion. Gentlemen, the worst thing for Elena Gilbert is...the two of you." He finished. 

Damon gave a weak smile to Elijah and myself before getting up from his occupied seat. "I'm going to get some air." He says leaving the room. 

"Let me deal with this." Elijah says to his brother. 

"Do you wish for some fresh air my dear?" Elijah asked me. 

"Please." I replied to him and made my way to Elijah. 

"Why don't you both try and come to some sort of arrangement without killing each other?" I suggested to Niklaus and Stefan, and joined Damon outside.

"So oh so noble one, what's the plan?" Damon asked Elijah. 

"Plain and simple Damon we win Klaus' trust we do as he asked, continue to play the charade that we have all played a part in." I said to Damon. 

"So your the one calling the shots?" Damon asked raising an eyebrow. 

"We all have our reasons for wanting to get back at Klaus, I've had time to think and to...plot" I replied. 

"You sound a lot like him you sure your on our side?" Damon started. 

"I assure you Damon, Elizabeth's intentions will always be honorable don't ever forget that." Elijah warned the younger vampire stepping closer to him. 

"Now shall we?" Elijah asks Damon gesturing towards the door.

"What do you say, Klaus? It's time for you to put something on the table. We've made our offer, now you counter." Damon asks as we all re-entered the dinning room.

"Okay. I offer Elena's future happiness. You see, what she needs right now is to be rid of you lot. And to fall in love with a human, maybe that nice football player, you know the blonde one?" Nik replies. 

"Matt Donovan??" Damon and I say together. 

"Yeah, why not? They'll marry, live a long and fruitful life, and pop out a perfect family." Nik replies with a smile. 

"And continue the Petrova bloodline. Every few hundred years, you'll have a new doppelganger to drain and never run out of hybrids, right Klaus?" Stefan interrupter shaking his head. 

"Consider it a small return on my investment in her well-being. See, after you hand me back the coffin, I'll ensure her safety for the rest of her natural life. You know it's what's best for her." Nik says to him as he gets up from his seat to walk towards Stefan. 

"So, what do you say Stefan, hmm? Do we have a deal?" Nik speaks again sounding hopeful. Stefan who was stood up already headed towards my brother in law, myself Elijah and Damon stood slightly away from the two vampires held our breathes. Niklaus holds his hand out for Stefan to shake, he grabs it. 

"Nice try, Klaus. But no deal." Stefan replies. Suddenly Niklaus breaks Stefan's arm he yells out in pain, he then kicks one of his legs which instantly breaks he falls to one knee and Nik grabs the broken arm and forces it into the nearby fire place which was roaring ablaze. Stefan screams in pain as his hand burned in the fire. Damon attempted to rush over to try and help his brother but Elijah intercepts and stops him. 

"What are you doing?" Damon hisses at my husband. 

"Wait." I hissed back as Nik continues to hold Stefan's hand in the fire by the sight and smell of burning flesh I could tell it was bad. 

"Stop!" Damon shouts. 

"Niklaus that’s enough!" I shouted. 

"Now, bring me my coffin before I burn him alive!" Niklaus demanded. 

"I'll get it." Damon says. 

"Go with him, brother. You keep him honest. And when you return, I will make good on my promise to you and I will hand over our family." Nik adds. Elijah bowed his head slightly and turns to leave with Damon and myself.

We headed into one of the lower rooms of the house and Elijah opened up the coffins that belonged to my family. "The plan?" Damon asks growing irritated. 

"I shall un-dagger my siblings, Elizabeth would you please return to Niklaus while we wrap things up here." Elijah asks me. 

"Of course, my pleasure." I replied planting a kiss to his cheek and headed back to Niklaus and Stefan. 

"Niklaus enough with the fire cinematic's." I shouted as I pushed him away from Stefan and helped him to his feet. 

"Are you ok?" I asked he nodded and got back up to his feet. 

"You really have given up, haven't you? Where's the fight? Where's the Ripper?" Nik spats trying to itch closer to the younger Salvatore. I heard several different sets of footsteps and a smile plastered my face. 

"Whats with you?" Nik asks me looking confused. He turns to see Elijah, Damon and Marla to whom was holding a silver tray. 

"Elijah...why haven't you left?" Nik asks. 

"Where are you manners, brother? We forgot dessert." He replied as he lifts the cloche from the tray to reveal two silver daggers. 

"What have you done?" Nik asks gritting his teeth. "What have you done? You see, I've learned not to trust your vulgar promises, Klaus. We're doing this on my terms now." Elijah spats. I returned to Elijah's side happy with the outcome of what was happening. 

"You've taken away our family for the last time Niklaus it ends today!" I added to my husbands remark.

Seeing Nik trying to apprehend what was happening more chaos entered the room and by more chaos I mean the one and only Kol Mikaelson. 

"Kol." Nik states. 

"Long time no see brother." He says stepping towards his younger brother. Nik starts to step backwards but Finn suddenly appears grabs one of the daggers from the tray and then stabs him in the hand. 

"Finn, don't!" Nik begs. He then rushes backwards but bumps into his only true sister. 

"Rebekah!" He shouts sounding slightly shocked. She then stabs him with the dagger. 

"This is for our mother." She shouts. As Rebekah pulls out the dagger, Finn and Kol restrain and pin their brother down. Elijah turns to Stefan and Damon. 

"This is family business, your free to go." He states. 

I turned to usher Stefan and Damon to the front door. "Thank you for a lovely evening gentlemen, hope to see you again soon boys." I said with a giggle. 

"Are you sure your going to alright?" Damon asks. 

"Oh please, I'll be more then fine Damon this will be the highlight of the evening. Be sure to get the coffin back. We will speak later." I replied and closed the door and headed back inside to my family. 

As Rebekah was roaming around one of the rooms she picks up a vase and looks at the detailing. "I love what you've done with the place Nik." She says sarcastically throwing the vase full force at a wall it smashes into a million pieces. 

"I wanted it to be for all of us. A place we could all call home. A place we could all be a family. None of us would ever have to be alone again." Nik stutters. 

"Well you're right, none of us will be." Elijah says stepping forward. 

"Your staying behind." Finn announces. 

"We're leaving you, Nik. Right after I kill that doppelganger wench, then you will be alone. Always and forever." Rebekah adds. 

"It's your turn to be alone after you have made each of us suffer." I finished. 

"If you run, I will hunt all of you down." Nik spats. 

"Go for it!" I growled heading towards my brother in law, his eyes glowed a yellow while mine glowed red, this time I didn't back down I felt no longer frightened. 

"Then you'll become everything you hate. Our father." Elijah says to break the tension, gently rubbing my arm to calm my temper. 

"I'm the hybrid! I can't be killed! I have nothing to fear from any of you." Nik shouts his voice echoed throughout the house. 

"You will when we have that coffin." Elijah shouts back. Suddenly we all here the front door of the mansion open, the entire family turned to see who was at the door and to all our shock. 

"Mother?" Rebekah gasped. 

"Look at me! Do you know why I'm here?" Esther commanded. 

With tears forming in his eyes. "Your here to kill me." He struggled. 

"Niklaus, you are my son and I am here to forgive you. I want us to be a family again." She says looking around at each of us her eyes landed on me and Elijah and for the first time ever I stood face to face for the first time with my mother in law and I had no idea how I felt but yet I felt the pure power that irradiated from her body. 

The original witch. 

The only emotion I felt was...Shock.

[meadowmines]

MAG37-41: In Which Shit Gets Extremely Real

Readmore’d for the benefit of the two or three people on earth who are farther behind than I am

MAG37 - Two big delivery men with possibly fake Cockney accents (Faux-ney, if you will) who look exactly like you’d expect delivery men to look. Sounds legit! yep that’s definitely the table from Not-Graham’s apartment, ooh yikes. 

Pretty bog-standard "just minding my own business when shit got weird” statement, standard commentary from Jon and then “ohbtw it’s a pic of Gertrude”

ohhhh shit

MAG38 - hokay. The name “Mikaele Salesa” sounded familiar right from the get-go but I couldn’t place it right away; the standard wiki check tells me he got a mention in MAG14 so cool, this guy definitely deals in Weird Shit, good to know. And then: the vase. Weirdly hypnotic fractal-ish patterns? Oh hey, there’s one of the Entities whose bullshit I can pretty quickly spot at this point. (as I said previously, I know basically fuckall about the Entities other than a) they exist and b) the Weird Shit in the statements is somehow connected to one or more of them)

Seemed to be another pretty bog-standard Weird Shit of the Week statement right up until the end and let me tell you internets there is some shit in this podcast that has made my skin crawl but nothing so far has scared me as much as the absolute terror in Jon’s voice at the very end. Hoo.

MAG39 - OH HERE WE GO HERE WE GO HERE WE GO HELLO AGAIN MS. TEN THOUSAND WORMS IN A TRENCHCOAT

Fuck man where do I even start with this one? Props to Tim for the ever-so-brief bit of comic relief when he was playing with the dropped recorder, but shit son actually hearing the voice of Ms. Ten Thousand Worms In A Trenchcoat gaaaahhh

(and I’m sorry but seeing “[RUNNING, PURSUED BY WORMS]” in the transcript is cracking me all the way up)

And here’s the part where I started wringing my hands with glee in the laundromat at 8:00 this morning:

If you’ve been following my incoherent kermitflailing about this podcast, you’ll remember that the other day I mentioned noticing that Jon gets really, really into “character” when he reads the written statements so this... oh, this. This makes me happy.

Moving on. I am... not sure I like Elias. He hasn’t given me any real solid reason to not like him yet, other than that time he bitched at Jon to not mess with the Lukas family, but... eeeh. 

More comic relief from Tim, bless him. 

And then... oh fuck the table ate Sasha. Or. You know. Whatever that table does to people. Holy shit, that made my blood run cold. Especially considering the mention of “Not-Sasha” in the credits after the next ep but god. 

And then. “Archivist.” “...shit.” oooooooof

MAG40 - Still not sure what to think about Elias. He doesn’t ping me as Actually Evil but I think he knows more about Gertrude than he’s letting on. 

Tim’s statement, specifically the part about the Worm Stargate or whatever the fuck they were doing and Jon’s reaction to it, does not bode well.

Sasha or... well, Not-Sasha, I guess. Of course she “lost” that tape. I hope like hell it turns up eventually but... not gonna hold my breath on that.

Elias, please give Martin a raise or a nice long paid vacation to somewhere sunny with drinks in coconuts with little paper umbrellas and shit, this poor guy can’t catch a fucking break. He gets harassed by Ms. Ten Thousand Worms In A Trenchcoat for weeks, has to live in the Archives for months, gets accused of being a ghost, and then gets lost in some creepy Silent Hill tunnel bullshit under the Archives and then, then, he finds Gertrude’s murderated dead body. PLEASE GIVE MARTIN A BREAK I AM BEGGING YOU.

And Jon, Jesus, give Jon a vacation too. The missing recordings are... oh shit. The one with the calliope, and Sasha’s statement. We’ve heard Actual Sasha’s voice on three recordings, I think, and those are two of them. But they’ve still got the one with the Invasion Of Ms. Ten Thousand Worms In A Trenchcoat, right? 

MAG41 - On to season 2! 

*deep sigh* Jon. My dude, my guy, my buddy, my pal, my bromigo, my etc. Please take a fucking vacation. You are in no condition to be dicking around in the Silent Hill bullshit tunnels right now. 

The description of the Worm Stargate is... yeek. Tim caught something very, very bad about to happen there, yes he did. 

Oh goody, Robert Smirke again. I’m starting to not like that guy at all. I don’t care how gifted an architect he is/was or dead he is or how long he’s been that way, he is/was clearly Extremely On His Bullshit and I do not like anything about these tunnels or Millbank Prison’s leftover dungeons or any of this.

So... the fancy arrow pointing Jon down the stairs, and the voice telling him to leave. I’m guessing two separate entities (or maybe capital-E Entities?) here--one trying to lure him in and one ...maybe not trying to help him as such, but not wanting the first one to get him for *handwave* Reasons? In any case, that second one gave him a very stern but sporting warning and let him out, so... idk man.

Also I am very much looking forward to the murder mystery intertwined with Weird Shit of the Week.

[mymomanddadaregonnabesomadatme]

Me walking home from the bus stop writing that Peter/Mikaele post on my phone: Hee hee hoo hoo I'm writing something melodramatic about this old man rarepair I'm so funnie >:)

Me reading it back for the first time after I wrote it: .............................;___________________; oh.

[museswithinx]

‘ it’s my curse, that and you two! ‘ { for Rose the fave LOL }

☾ HOCUS   POCUS     ( 1993 )   SENTENCE    PROMPTS   .

When Kol had said she’d be working with someone today, she never imagined it’d be Quinn. In fact, she had been hoping for Henrik but apparently their deal made them allies. Although it was starting to feel like nerd brain was more her burden than he was anyone else’s. The things she put up with for her beloved.

Slightly pouting as Kol leaves them to their work, Rose fixes a hard glare on Quinn as she moves to stand up and approach the table. Reaching for a book, everything they needed was already laid out for them. As content as she was to ignore him the whole time and focus, quiet wasn’t really in her nature.

And well, she hated him.

“You know what I don’t understand? Why we need you. Or why you’re even here breathing our precious air, for that matter. We both know you’re about as loyal to this cause as Tiger Woods was to his wife.”

‘ it’s my curse, that and you two! ‘ He spits back at her, seeming equally as displeased to be here.

“Oh, boo hoo. Please cry me a river!” She snaps at him. Why on earth did Kol even bother with this idiot? They didn’t need this traitorous, ungrateful little rat on their side. He couldn’t be trusted anymore than Mikael could.

“You should be so blessed that Kol would even give you this opportunity to work for him! He could’ve easily just mopped the floor with you and little sis considering your family tried to kill his. But whatever.”

[thetourguidebarbie]

Have you got any thoughts on how you'd make the 5x1 Klaroline dialogue a little more in character? The chemistry and expressions were brilliant, of course, and that bit about the historical building was also very Caroline, but a lot of the other dialogue was just a bit off - although I suppose they were also working with the fact that the children had to be mentioned, which sort of ruined it.

This is what I would have done :P I’ve only seen the scenes twice, but I tried to cover everything they addressed (with s o m e of my headcanons included sorrynotsorry).

The body fell with a thump to the ground, and Klaus tensed as he heard the telltale whoosh of a vampire before he caught a scent in the air that he was sure he’d never forget if he could help it.

Caroline.

He let her pin him against the wall, grinning at the exasperated look on her face. “Hello, love.”

“Do you even answer your phone anymore? I texted you like, eighty bajillion times,” she said, ignoring his greeting, though he did notice her eyes dip down to his lips for a fraction of a second before they flicked back up again to meet his.

“Sorry, sweetheart. Must have not heard it vibrate over the screaming.”

She tilted her head slightly, her eyes narrowing into a face that made it clear she was unimpressed before she dropped her hand from his neck, flexing her fingers and glancing around, her nose wrinkling. “Ugh, I forgot you were so messy. Stack them over there.”

His lips quirked as he watched her walk to a window and yank down a curtain, shaking it out. He grabbed the lone corpse in the corner in a fireman’s carry and dropped it on top of the rest of them, ducking his head and grinning at her huff of annoyance as he walked to sit down.

“So, what did they do wrong? Refuse to curtsy?”

“What are you doing here, Caroline?” he asked, ignoring her question.

“Maybe if you picked up your phone you’d know the answer to that.”

“If I’d known it was you, I would have,” he said, and she scoffed, dragging the curtain over to the bodies and covering them.

“I didn’t. I was just recruited to follow-up.”

“You came all the way to Paris for me?” Klaus asked, putting his hand to his chest. “Bestill my heart, love.”

“I was here already, actually,” she said, taking a few steps towards him and putting her hands on her hips. “Which I know you knew. I have coffee with your creepy bodyguards now, by the way. We’re besties.”

“I knew that too,” he said, not bothering to deny he’d been keeping tabs, flashing his dimples.

“I shouldn’t be surprised that you have enough time to keep track of me and your family and murder an entire extended family,” she muttered, glancing at the curtain covering the bodies.

“You shouldn’t be.”

“Any particular reason it’s this family?”

Klaus didn’t answer as he stood, stuffing his hands in his pockets, and she sighed.

“Hope hears the rumors the rest of us do, you know. She thinks you’ve gone completely insane, and it wouldn’t hurt to call—“

“Maybe I have,” he cut in, his voice hard. “Perhaps I have succumbed to madness—“

“Oh my god, shut up,” Caroline groaned. “You seem your normal amount of crazy to me, and she needs you.”

“Why? What can I possibly provide—“

“Well, if you’d picked up Hayley’s calls, you would have known that while you’ve been off killing people your daughter fed another student her blood to make him a hybrid.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Did she?”

“Yep. Both you and Hayley have the worst judgment, so I guess I can’t be surprised it got passed down.”

“I’m wounded.”

“Boo hoo,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Grab some cleaning supplies. I’m sure there’s a janitor’s closet down the hall. We need to get out of here before someone finds the corpses.”

“I’d hurt her more than help,” Klaus said quietly, breaking the silence that had been filled by squeaking sponges and the stench of bleach.

“Why do you think that? You’re hurting her by staying away. She thinks you hate her.”

“It’s to keep her safe,” Klaus muttered.

“How?”

“Well, I can’t stuff her in a coffin for safekeeping now, can I?” he said dryly, and she winced when the glass beneath his fingers cracked.

“Seriously? This is a national landmark. Can you not break things?”

He shrugged. “I don’t exactly have any healthy examples of parenting, do I?”

“Oh my god, seriously? Is this about Mikael? Klaus, it’s been like, a bajillion years. He’s dead, okay?”

“I’m aware of that.”

“Look, as someone with a dad who walked out and had questionable parenting examples, I can tell you that it hurts, but it’s not impossible to overcome.”

“My father tried to kill me.”

“Yeah, so did mine, but you don’t see me using it as an excuse,” Caroline said, the anger turning her voice shrill.

“Yes, but you’re…you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Caroline spat. “You of all people should know how hard this has been for me.”

“I do, Caroline—“

“Look. I get it. There’s no parenting handbook and I doubt you were expecting to ever have to try, but you do have to try. Neither of us wanted this—“

She stopped mid-sentence, realizing what she’d admitted, and Klaus’s mouth dropped open in surprise. It was the first time she’d seen him truly speechless. She swallowed, tearing her eyes away from his.

“Stop using Mikael as an excuse to be a bad father,” she said finally, the anger still present, though the bite had left her tone. “She needs you. She wants to know you, and I—”

“You?” Klaus prompted after a moment, an eyebrow raised, and she lifted her face so that their eyes met, the tension still thick and hot after all of these years.

“I happen to think you’re someone worth knowing,” she said before shoving the bucket of supplies at him, which he took automatically. “Finish this up. I’ll see you at the next Parent-Teacher Conference, which you will attend, or I will personally hunt you down.”

“Is that a promise?” he asked, a slow smile spreading across his face.

She scoffed, stalking out, though he didn’t miss the flash of her smile before she turned the corner.

[klarolinedrabbles]

I get that Caroline needs to put Klaus in his place but she can do that without being a bitch and saying "boo hoo you're daddy didn't love you get over yourself", I want her to be real with him without undermining his trauma or how shitty his childhood was. Camille coddled him, i want caroline to be real but not just insult him like julie said in the interview. There's a differece between calling someone out on their shit and just being an ass. we all know how senssitive klaus is about mikael

I’d hardly call that being bitch. She has always imo, handled the way he while feeling sorry for himself, tries to gain wiggle room in the most effective way. At this point all the countless shit that’s gone down for the sake of his kid, is making that stance of his pathetic. 

Because all the sacrifices and stuff that’s gone on, is for nothing, because he keeps chickening out. Yes, he had a crappy father, and he’s already been a crappy father himself, but he won’t rewrite the history he thinks he’s doomed to repeat without trying? And he’s straight-up refusing to try, if his tactic these past few years has just been to avoid his kid.

I hope she rips him a new one. TO’s narrative has coddled Klaus enough. 

[sephirotha]

100 Question Writing Meme (Part 2)

Original Blank Meme: https://www.deviantart.com/memeheaven/art/Blank-100-Question-Writing-Meme-689367135

1.     Stella (OC for FFXV)

2.     Valkyrie (Originally OC for FFVII but she’s become her own character)

3.     Mikael (Original)

4.     Anne (OC for FFVII)

5.     Xeann (Originally OC for Kingdom Hearts but she’s become her own character)

6.     Zerenity (Originally OC for Pokémon but she’s become her own character)

7.     Erik (Original)

8.     Morphen (Original)

9.     Nightmare (Original)

10.  Zariel (Original)

 Okay, but what if 9 was a nude model for the aforementioned art class?

Nightmare would get way into it, Zerenity would want to bleach her eyes and Stella has had enough trauma that she’s going to just keep painting, not really being there.

 How is 4 with babies? If they found a lost baby somewhere dangerous, explain their course of action. (Would they adopt the child/call the police/take care of it until someone else could take it/ignore it/etc)

I think Anne would be a decent mother.  She would probably call the police if she found a baby alone and take care of it until the rightful parents come to collect the child.  She probably might not adopt since she’s still young with dreams of becoming a blacksmith, and children shouldn’t be in a smithy.

 5 and 6 share the same birthday! How would they react to this? Would either one want to be the center of attention?

You know, in the original universe I put them in, they are actually related.  So Xeann would insist to host a birthday party to celebrate both her and Zerenity’s birthdays and it would be a huge family occasion.  Xeann would be used to being the centre of the attention and Zerenity would probably want to stay away from the limelight.

 3 is suddenly shrunk down to be six inches tall. How do (any of) the other characters react? Does anyone try to help them? Or hurt them? Or do they just get relentlessly made fun of?

Poor Mikael!  Well, Val would definitely make fun of him for a while but will try to help him out.  Nightmare would see him as a possible form of entertainment for a good day or two.

 8 is 10’s biggest fan. How do they show this? (Nice letters/Gifts/Creepy stalker-esque midnight visits/Etc)

Out of character for Morphen but if he were to show his admiration for Zariel, he might try to turn her into a man (using some demonic magic or something) so he can fuck her.  Yeah, if you read part one, you might remember Morphen being sexist, his sexism goes as far as him not wanting to touch a woman.  He’s horrible, I know.

 2 is walking in the woods, alone and late at night. They hear some spooky sounds coming from the bushes around them. What do they do? What was in the bushes? And why were they out so late anyway?

Val would punch whatever was in the bushes and it might be an animal or something.  She probably couldn’t get to sleep so decided to take a walk late at night.

 1, 4, 5, and 8 all decide to take a trip together. Where do they decide to go? Why?

Stella, Anne, Xeann and Morphen.  You’re sending Morphen on a trip with three women?  Hoo boy.

So…Stella and Anne may not be too fussed on where they end up so Xeann might choose a trip to somewhere with a vibrant nightlife, somewhere fun.  Morphen couldn’t care less, he intends to stay away from the women and they return the sentiment.

 Unfortunately, the plane that they (1, 4, 5, 8) were on crashed on an uninhabited island. How do they work together? What are their designated tasks? Does help actually arrive, or do they have to escape on their own?

Oh no.  Xeann, roll for persuasion.

Xeann: …Fifteen.

OK, Morphen begrudgingly helps the girls build a raft to get off the island.  Anne is good with her hands so she’d be able to do most of the building, Stella would be in charge of collecting food, Xeann would keep the peace between Morphen and the others, somehow.  Morphen is strong so will help out with most of the labour.

 How does 3 deal with pain? Like… Stabbed in a shady alleyway with a switchblade by some desperate mugger kind of pain?

Mikael is kind of a sponge when it comes to pain because I believe he’s dealt with things like this a lot.  He’s a typical cleric or healer so he would heal the wound, shrug it off and walk away like nothing happened.  Emotional pain on the other hand is something completely different.

 If 7 and 9 were to duke it out, who would emerge victorious? It can be anything from a small spontaneous brawl to an orchestrated battle to the death.

My poor Erik!  Of course Nightmare would win!  Erik would surrender after the first blow dealt to him.  And Nightmare is sadistic so the punches and kicks will just keep coming…

[pennedbyzazz]

Sleep asks 1-10!

//TEN OF THEM HOO BOY ALRIGHTY 

PUTTING IT UNDER A CUT ‘CAUSE IT GOT LONG

1) How does your OC get ready for bed? 

His routine is pretty simple to be honest. Maybe shower if he’s feeling gross, change clothes, brush his teeth, and he’s off to bed. Sometimes he’ll have a snack or read before sleeping to help unwind.

2) Does your OC prefer a warm or cool bed?

Usually he prefers a warm bed over a cool bed. But since the Badlands is so hot a majority of the time he likes his bed being cool so he can warm it up himself.

3) How many pillows does your OC need/use?

One, maybe two pillows. He’s not the type to have a shit ton of ‘em.

4) Which OC sleeps with stuffed animals? 

So this question says which OC. Regarding Vik, he doesn’t sleep with any stuffed animals. That’s not to say he hasn’t kept his childhood stuffed animals though hehehehe. 

As fars as the rest of my (human) OC’s go, I’ll just list them off on categories:

–Sleeps with a stuffed animal(s): Adrian, Marcus, maybe Roberto

–Doesn’t sleep with them but has them: Viktor, Mikael

–Sleeps with a security blanket: Jordan

5) Which OC prefers to share a bed with someone else? 

For Viktor, it depends on the person it is, but if he has to share a bed he won’t mind usually.

For the rest:

–Prefers to share a bed: Mikael, Adrian

–Prefers to not share a bed: Roberto, Jordan

–It Depends: Viktor, Marcus

6) Which OC would be an absolute nightmare to sleep with (stealing blankets, cold feet, etc)?

Vik himself is pretty easy to sleep with. He doesn’t usually get cold feet, and he’s got plenty of blankets to share. He does tend to cling to someone when he’s not in fetal position or sprawl himself out on the bed so if you don’t like that that might be a problem.

For the rest:

–Easy to share a bed with: Viktor, Mikael

–Okay to share: Adrian, Jordan

–Gotdam terrible to share with: Marcus (notorious blanket thief with cold feet), Roberto (poor bean he gangly as fuck and sprawls out a lot)

7) Which OC snores?

Viktor almost never snores, and when he does it’s a real light snore. Thank fuck for anybody who sleeps with him LMAO

For the rest: 

–No Snore/Light Snore: Viktor, Jordan, Roberto

–Moderate/On and Off Snore: Marcus, Mikael (He kinda teeters between a somewhat light snore to pretty loud snore)

–Chainsaw Snore: Adrian

8) In what position does your OC sleep in?

Vik almost always sleeps in fetal position. He curls up into a really tight ball. Sometimes though, usually when he’s tired as fuck, he goes starfish postion and just sprawls all across his bed in a real awkward-looking position with half a leg off the bed. If he’s sleeping with someone he’s usually clinging to the other and looking like a cute bean c:

9) Describe your OC’s sleepwear.

It’s really nothing special. Generally it’s just a plain T-shirt or tank top with comfy sweatpants or pajama pants, maybe socks. If it’s a real hot night, he’ll sleep either shirtless or just straight up in his boxers LMAO

10) How long does it take for your OC to fall asleep?

It really just depends on how wired up he is. If he’s pretty chill and relaxed, it won’t take very long. If he’s wide awake from coffee or really anxious, it’ll take him hours. Sometimes he just can’t sleep for the night (those are the nights he hates the most, next to nightmare-filled nights)

[yahoo-puck-daddy-blog]

If Bergeron doesn’t win, who fills NHL’s Selke Trophy void?

As a voting member of the Professional Hockey Writers’ Association, the Selke Trophy has been both encouraging and discouraging.

On the negative side, the voting has leaned hard into reputation-based voting in far too many years. The Selke Trophy has been given to the “forward who demonstrates the most skill in the defensive component” in the NHL 37 times. Sixteen of those winners were one of five players: Bob Gainey, Guy Carbonneau, Jere Lehtinen, Pavel Datsyuk or Patrice Bergeron.

Voters have also developed an odd litmus test for Selke candidates, much like how the Lady Byng has become the de facto “high scorer with few penalty minutes” award.

Selke winners have to have a:

1 – Faceoff winning percentage among the League’s best.

2 – Positive plus-minus rating, and especially a double-digit one.

3 – Offensive stats that are above average, even though this shouldn’t be a primary factor in defensive prowess.

On the positive side, PHWA voters have made an effort to dabble in analytics to make a Selke nominee’s case. Corsi and possession metrics are seen as mandatory in 2017; one hopes that further context will follow.

The three titans of the recent Selke voting are all having self-acknowledged substandard years, and might fail the basic tests.

Chicago Blackhawks center Jonathan Toews, a two-time winner, has a 57-percent faceoff winning percentage, but he’s a minus-2.

Boston Bruins center Patrice Bergeron, second in the NHL at 59-percent on faceoffs, is a plus-2 but only have 29 points in 52 games after posting 68 in 80 games last season.

Los Angeles Kings center Anze Kopitar, who won it last season, is at 52.2-percent on faceoffs, is a plus-4 but has 32 points in 47 games.

Now, the perception is that none of these three are going to win the Selke this season.

Which is, frankly, ludicrous, in one specific case:

That of Patrice Bergeron.

On top of his faceoff prowess, Bergeron is leading the NHL in Corsi percentage at 5-on-5 at 62 percent. He’s second in the NHL for expected goals-against per 60 minutes at 1.82, which is better than his numbers last season.

Now, unless we’re in the Upside Down where Bergeron no longer gets credit for making his linemates better, but instead it’s David Pastrnak and Brad Marchand that are carrying him, this is impressive.

A “substandard” year for Patrice Bergeron is still exponentially better than a career year from an average player. It’s like trying to find a Stanley Kubrick film without merits, or one that pales in comparison to, say, Zach Snyder’s best.

That said, there seems to be enough digital ink spilled on other candidates that a changing of the old guard seems likely. Here are a few:

THE FAMILIAR NAMES

Ryan Kesler, Anaheim Ducks

A previous winner in 2011 and a finalist four times, which is why one would make him the front-runner now – he’ll have the reputation thing on his side.

He’s third in the NHL in faceoff percentage (57.9). He starts over 42 percent of his shifts in the defensive zone (second most in the NHL for players with over 600 minutes), gives up 6.64 (5v5) scoring attempts per 60 minutes, which is No. 10 in the NHL for players with at least 700 minutes TOI.

He’s got a positive Corsi (51.46) and 42 points in 54 games. So yeah, he’s going to be a finalist, as it’s been a year-long lovefest for Kesler.

Mikko Koivu, Wild

Speaking of reputations …

There’s a hard sell happening lately for Koivu, the 33-year-old Wild forward. The highest he’s ever reached in the Selke voting is No. 4 in 2009, but otherwise has been out of the top 10 in every year but 2009 and 2008.

The sell began with his coach, Bruce Boudreau:

“Who’s got better numbers for a defensive forward than Mikko?,” Boudreau after the Wild’s morning skate at Rogers Place Tuesday. “He plays against every team’s top line. He’s plus-24, he’s got 35 points. There’s nobody in the league that has better numbers for what you’re asking him to do. He kills every penalty. He takes every big faceoff. Everything a defensive forward is supposed to do, he does.”

The sell continues on Hockey Wilderness:

Koivu has seen some of the toughest starts in the NHL. At 5-on-5 play, he starts in the defensive zone 43.5% of the time- second most in the NHL among regulars. Players who get that kind of assignment usually don’t succeed offensively, but in spite of his tough workload, he’s taken his teammates to new heights. He’s centered Mikael Granlund, who leads the Wild in scoring, and Jason Zucker, who has set a career-high in points playing alongside Koivu.

That’s pretty good. And when you compare Koivu’s defensive zone starts to previous Selke winners, you get some surprising results. In his 2015-16 campaign Anze Kopitar only started 30.6 of his 5-on-5 shifts in the defensive zone. When Patrice Bergeron won in 2014-15, he started in the defensive zone 38.2% of the time, which is impressive, but still dwarfed by Koivu’s mark this season. In the year before that? Bergeron won despite taking just 33.8% of his starts in the defensive zone.

He’s also got the faceoff numbers (54.8) and the zone starts (43.74 in the defensive zone, most in the NHL), although his Corsi is below par (49.08) – understandable, given how the Wild play under Boudreau.

(It’s also an interesting conundrum for Selke voters that penalize Bergeron for quality of linemates: Have you seen what Jason Zucker and especially Mikael Granlund have done this season?)

Koivu could catch a wave with Boudreau and Devan Dubnyk in postseason awards voting. He’s been excellent, but this seems very much like an “excuse to give him some past due” situation.

Nicklas Backstrom, Washington Capitals

Speaking of “past due,” the fact that Backstrom hasn’t cracked the top 10 in Selke voting in his career is some weird anomaly where anyone in Ovechkin’s aura is automatically a defensive liability in the eyes of dullards.

Once again, he’s 52.4 in faceoffs and playing a great two-way game. Although not as great as we’ve seen from him: He’s 49.16 in Corsi percentage, his lowest in five years. And his scoring changes against per 60 minutes has jumped by nearly two, from 6.79 last season to 8.94 this season.

Like Koivu, there’s always a chance that under-the-radar greatness could finally be rewarded thanks to a dominant team, and the campaign is in full swing for Backstrom. But there’s also a sense that a Selke win this season would be like Pacino winning for “Scent of a Woman.” Hoo-wah.

Henrik Zetterberg, Detroit Red Wings

The old war horse (36) is quietly having an outstanding season on the defensive end, within context. And that context is that he has a Corsi Relative to his teammates of plus-3.9; the Red Wings have their best save percentage (.936) with on the ice at 5v5; and he has by far the best expected goals against (2.19) and scoring chances against (5.97) than any other Red Wing. He’s also 50.7 on faceoffs.

This isn’t the year for Zetterberg to be a dark horse candidate, considering the fortunes of his team – it’s a bit like rallying to the cause of a non-playoff team’s coach for the Jack Adams. But a stick-tap to a guy whose back problems and advancing age had us thinking he was a non-factor. But he’s doing all of this in 2016-17 playing 19:20 per night, tops on the Wings for forwards.

Were it not for Pavel Datsyuk’s shadow, he might have one of these already.

THE PATIENTLY WAITING

Ryan O’Reilly, Buffalo Sabres

There was a brief moment in 2014 when O’Reilly looked like a Selke mainstay, finishing sixth. He hasn’t been better than 12th since then.

This season, he has 31 points in 41 games and a plus-8, winning 57.8 (!) of his faceoffs. He’s one of the only positive possession players in the Sabres at (50.94) for players with over 610 minutes TOI. He has an outstanding 5.79 scoring chances against per 60 minutes, vs. 7.36 SCF.

Again, if the Sabres were a winning team, this would be a totally different story for one of the League’s best two-way players.

Jordan Staal, Carolina Hurricanes

Again, it’s a bit of a joke that Staal has only been a Selke finalist once in his career, given what a force he’s been defensively.

At 58.7 percent on faceoffs and a rock-solid 56.39 percent Corsi, that might change this season given that many pundits are starting to take notice as the Hurricanes inch closer to the playoff bubble.

From Cardiac Cane:

Staal’s stats are comparable to the rest of the group and are second only to Bergeron in most aspects. These other three players are considered some of the best defensive forwards in the league. And Jordan Staal’s stats, while nice, are nothing dazzling; he isn’t blowing away the competition. And that would be correct, to an extent. The thing is though these stats need to taken in with a little bit of context.

That context is the quality of teammates that each player plays with. Patrice Bergeron has David Pastrnak and Brad Marchand on his wing. Anze Kopitar has Jeff Carter. Jonathan Toews has Marian Hossa probably one of the best defensive wingers in his own right. Let’s look at some of Jordan Staal’s past linemates this year: Joakim Nordstrom, Brock McGinn, Andrej Nestrasil, and Elias Lindholm.

While none of those players are terrible, I wouldn’t consider any of them close to the level of talent as those wingers named above. That’s what makes Jordan Staal’s numbers so special.

He’s an elite defensive talent, and might have just enough offense at 28 points in 41 games to get the voters’ attention. Especially if the Hurricanes make a serious push during the voting.

THE NEW FACES

Mikael Backlund, Calgary Flames

Mikael Backlund has never received a vote for a postseason award. Which is incredible because, like, everyone gets a Selke vote eventually. Even Ovechkin has!

When there’s something TSN and Sportsnet agree on, you can be sure it’s going to be support. From Eric Francis:

In the game of life, the man they call “Backs” is winning big these days. So much so, that it’s time for Backlund to be included in the Selke Trophy discussion, as the forward who demonstrates the most skill in the defensive component of the game.

“I think this year he should be mentioned with some of the top two-way centres in the league,” said Flames captain Mark Giordano, unsolicited.

“He’s been that good. He’s been playing against the best players in the league night in and night out. And he’s doing it at both ends of the ice.

He’s second on the team in Corsi percentage (54.71) and is starting 39.49 percent of his shifts in the defensive zone at 5-on-5. He’s also facing the best quality opponents for any Calgary forward.

Backlund has been outstanding, but again, you’re asking a guy who never received a postseason awards vote to surpass some known quantities. Not easy.

Nazem Kadri, Toronto Maple Leafs

Kadri’s an interesting case study, as he’s gotten some accolades for playing a shutdown role against big names this season. There’s no question he’s found that niche on the team after a few seasons of strong production but little solidification of his role. He has it now, and Editor In Leaf see’s him as a Selke guy: 

It wasn’t purely choice that led him to this decision either. Realistically he isn’t going to be on the top-two lines due to the wonderkids coming through.  You’d also imagine with more focus on defense that his offense would natural tail off, quite the opposite. With 20 goals, he has already tied his career best, with essentially half the season to go.

Using the Corsi stats, his CF60 is 63.11 and CA60 is 59.97 meaning the Leafs are averaging 3 more shots with him on the ice. You can use that to suggest that he is also stopping 3 shots with his defensive capabilities.

Kadri is over 37 percent in defensive zone starts, by far the highest for the Leafs’ forwards this season. So not only is he effectively doing the heavy lifting defensively, he’s doing it so the younger players don’t have to. That said, faceoffs (45.8) are going to kill him in the analysis.

THE WILD CARD

Connor McDavid, Edmonton Oilers

Yes, the best offensive player in the NHL this season is also the best defensive forward on the Edmonton Oilers.

Carolyn Wilke had a good piece on the Selke dark horses, and made the McDavid case:

Of course, it’s his “non-traditionalness” that will likely keep him off of most ballots, which is understandable. His one minute of penalty kill time per game, while effective, isn’t very much compared to other guys like Kesler (nearly 3 minutes) or Brad Marchand (almost 2 minutes).

And it’s hard to say that he’s “deployed in defensive situations” when the reality is that coach Todd McLellan would have him on the ice for all 60 minutes if he thought he could. This is in stark contrast to guys like Kesler, Koivu, Silfverberg and Granlund, who are used almost entirely as shutdown players.

And let’s be frank, McDavid’s feet are moving too fast for him to block shots, another hallmark of traditional defensive play.

Now, he’s not going to win. He’ll get a few Edmonton-centric votes, but he’s not going to be in the top 10. Still, file this away: The last time we had a legitimate threat to win the Selke and the scoring title in the same season was Sergei Fedorov in 1996, who won the award and finished ninth in scoring.

Connor McDavid is going to accomplish a great many things in his career. Could that be one of them?

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Greg Wyshynski is a writer for Yahoo Sports. Contact him at puckdaddyblog@yahoo.com or find him on Twitter. His book, TAKE YOUR EYE OFF THE PUCK, is available on Amazon and wherever books are sold.

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