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Is Your Jaw Playing Tricks on You?
Introduction
Have you ever noticed a strange clicking or popping sound when you open or close your mouth? Or perhaps you've experienced jaw pain or tenderness that just won't seem to go away. If so, you might be dealing with a common condition called Temporomandibular Joint Disorder (TMD).
What is Temporomandibular Joint Disorder (TMD)?
TMD (Temporomandibular Joint Disorder) occurs when there's a problem with the joint that connects your lower jawbone to your skull. This joint, known as the temporomandibular joint (TMJ), plays a crucial role in chewing, speaking, and yawning. When something goes wrong with the TMJ, it can lead to a variety of symptoms.
Common Symptoms of TMD
1. Jaw pain or tenderness:
This can be felt in the jaw joint itself or in the muscles around it.
2. Clicking or popping sounds:
These noises often occur when opening or closing your mouth.
3. Difficulty opening or closing your mouth:
This can make eating, speaking, and yawning uncomfortable.
4. Locking of the jaw:
In some cases, the jaw may become locked in a closed or open position.
5. Headaches or migraines:
TMD can sometimes contribute to headaches or migraines.
6. Earaches:
Pain in the ear can be another symptom of TMD.
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If you're experiencing any of these symptoms, it's important to consult with a dentist. They can diagnose TMD and recommend appropriate treatment options.
Remember, TMD is a treatable condition. With the right care, you can alleviate your symptoms and improve your overall quality of life.
Remember, TMD is a treatable condition. With the right care, you can alleviate your symptoms and improve your overall quality of life. For more information on TMJ and treatment options, visit here.
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GUILT PART 2
(GN!READER)
SUNDAY:
"Heavens above please donât tell me they heard everything,â Sunday murmured to himself walking through the halls of his base, his wings near his ears flapping in nervousness ever so slightly.
You very well heard every single word. Tears dripped down your face as you tried to hold them back in order to not look disheveled in front of the others you were passing by. You passed by Robin and her eyes widened but you walked off before giving her a chance to speak.
As you try to make one more turn against the hall corner you're greeted by a familiar hand gripping onto your shoulder.
âLet go Sunday.â You whisper out still trying to stifle your small tears.Â
âLet me explain. Please.â He whispers in reply, his eyes drooped in apology.
âGo on. Explain. Explain how you're using my ass? Or..how Iâm easy to manipulate?â
âListen darling. I will take back what I said. I just needed to say that since I canât let others know how stunningly in love Iâm with you.â You hitched as you saw a dark gaze in Sunday's eyes. His..eyes didn't look loving. But. You couldnât help but be drawn into them.
Sunday gave his usual light smile as he gripped your face. âYouâre not going to leave me right?â Those words were a question but they sounded like a statement through his lips. You stared.
âPlease. Just donât say shit like that. It hurt a lot.â You mumble out looking at the ground feeling Sunday tighten his grip on your chin smiling.
âAnything for you, love.â He kissed your tears traveling to your lips gently.
AVENTURINE:
âDoes he really think moneyâs going to solve this?â You say to yourself looking at the notification of Aventurine sending you $1,000,000 cash.
As you were about to take a taxi home you stare at the windshield and see Aventurine running.
âGreat.â You mumbled to yourself as he panted and gave his signature smile.
âListen baby. I didnât mean to do that! You know Iâd never place you in a bet of mine. It was a tease!â
âUh huh. You wouldâve gone with it if I didnât walk out of that place.â You scoff at his reasoning about walking into the taxi till you feel slim arms wrap around your waist from behind and Aventurines head leaning on your shoulder nuzzled.
âPlease..donât go. I didnât mean it.â He whispered out in that vulnerable voice you usually never heard of him unless he spoke about his past or family.
You tensed at his words and eventually relaxed and sighed.
âOkay. Okay. You're killing me with that grip of yours.âÂ
âDonât care.â He whispered, hugging you tighter from behind as your eyes became half lidded.
âJust..please donât joke about that kind of thing ever again Aven.â Aventurine nodded rapidly and kissed the back of your neck, smiling against it as you ruffled his hair, also giving a soft smile.
DR. RATIO:
âOh my lord. Oh my lord.â Veritas said to himself repeatedly while trying to find you. He checked your room. Your office. The living room. Everywhere. Veritas felt a migraine coming. Not out of annoyance. But out of guilt.
He hitched when he saw you sitting on a bench outside quietly staring at the ground as if struck in a daze. Which you were. You were replaying what happened over and over in your head.
âHey.â Veritas mumbled awkwardly and you looked up at him with a frown.
âHey. Shouldn't you be working?â You sigh averting your gaze but flinch slightly as Veritas grabbed your hand pulling it to his chest.
âIâm sorry. I lashed out and said uncountable things. That was wrong of me I must say.â Veritas knew and prided himself in never being wrong so this was unnatural of him and he felt uneasy but. He knew he had to apologize. He made the mistake of making you sad.
âIt's fine.â You didnât take his apology well since a couple words wouldn't exactly vanish the feeling of sadness you had when he lashed out on you. Plus they were still dwelling.
Veritas being perceptive and noticing sighed and pulled you closer grabbing both your hands and peppering kisses on them. You flushed at the affection trying to pull back but he continued even deeper while staring at you.
âIâm sorry. I wonât look at a book for the rest of the day. It will be severely dedicated to you. And only you.â Your heart felt full at his words.
#romance#fluff#x reader#cute#gender neutral mc#kisses#gender neutral y/n#hsr x reader#honkai star rail#star rail#veritas ratio#hsr veritas#veritas x reader#ratio#star rail aventurine#hsr aventurine#aventurine x reader#aventurine honkai star rail#aventurine hsr#hsr ratio#dr ratio#hsr dr ratio#sunday hsr#sunday x reader#sunday honkai star rail#penacony#honkai#hsr robin#sunday x you#hsr sunday
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â word count: 22.0k â warnings: cursing, mentions of drinking (thereâs a frat party), everything i know about hockey is from internet research for this fic iâm sorry for any inaccuracies i tried â genre: fluff, gets quite suggestive (a heavy makeout scene/near sex scene) but no actual smut, college au, hockey captain sungchan, chronically ill reader (chronic migraines), halloween-themed at the beginning, sungchanâs not a frat boy but heâs like... a frat boy by association â extra info: the ages/relative ages of the members in here are whatever i want them to be, donât read into it too much. this is a very usamerican take on a college au btw. also i call kunhang âhenderyâ in here like itâs his government name for a one-line gag bc i think iâm hilarious the reader in this has chronic migraines, which i have. when the readerâs migraines and thoughts/experiences as a chronically ill person are described, that is me writing directly from my own life. i am not generalizing the lives of all people with chronic migraines and chronic illness, but i am sending all my love to any readers out there living with a chronic illness, and hereâs a reminder to go take your meds â authorâs note: hi so this has been a wip for like a year lol. this one long predates sungchanâs deneofication (and subsequent re-debut in riize), hockey player sungchan just lives in my brain rent free ok. anyway, i hope you like â series masterlist
âYou agreed to go to a frat party?â Chenleâs eyes were bugging out of his head as he sat across a high top in the dining hall from you. âDo you remember what happened last time, Y/N?â
âHard to forget,â you snorted.
âAnd yet it seems you did, somehow, lost in dreamboat Jung Sungchanâs eyes.â
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24
âNow shoo!â Dr. Son waved the small group of you out of his dimly lit office.
It was Phantasmagorical Phriday, a time-honored tradition going back to your freshman year of university. Dr. Son had been intrigued by the four freshmen who were somehow in his third-year class on Gothic Fiction and actually seemed to âget it.â His âPhantasma Phourâ as you dubbed yourselves (a nickname that got quickly worn out, persisting only as the title of your groupchat):
Wong Hendery, who ended up in the class accidentally due to an error on his academic advisorâs part (she had gotten him mixed up with a Wong Henry, a junior Literature major who actually needed to take Dr. Sonâs class) and he subsequently changed majors at least three times to your knowledge, so you were genuinely surprised he was graduating on timeâhe finally settled on Communications;
Jung Sungchan, at the time a promising young rookie hockey player who had now blossomed into your schoolâs reliable team captainâBiology major, being an athlete meant he could pre-register for classes and he picked Dr. Sonâs at random to fulfill a gen ed Literature credit;
Zhong Chenle, an honorary member of both Nu Chi Tau, one of the biggest frats on campus, and the hockey team, as somehow 95% of his social circle were Nu Chi brothers and/or hockey players despite Chenle being neither himself, your best friend and also sometimes you swear a demon sent straight from hell to kill youâLiterature major, who bullied you into taking the class; and
You, Chenleâs best friend who used to hate anything and everything Gothic fiction that got bullied into taking it anyway and now adored the genre more than any otherâLiterature major, who took the last spot in the class on registration day.
Dr. Son would invite you all to monthly extracurricular workshops in his office that built up to this: Phantasmagorical Phriday, a writing competition to see which of the four of you could write the best gothic short story. The stories were actually submitted the prior week, but it was the Friday before Halloween that was dubbed the Phriday in question. The four of you were invited to his office that night after classes (and Sungchanâs hockey practice) to review your pieces: how he thought everyone had improved from last year, discuss the writing process, and to finish off the night, Dr. Son would announce his top two stories. Those in the top two had the chance to send him a persuasive letter about why they should win. They had to be sent to him that night because the next morning, your professor would email the top two individually with the results.
Since this was your last Phantasmagorical Phriday, Dr. Son pretended not to see when Hendery brought out four celebratory White Claws for you all. You still had your warm, unopened, orange-flavored seltzer in your hand as the small group of you left the Literature, Writing, and Foreign Languages building together.
âI still canât believe you couldnât find anything classier for our last Phantasmagorical Phriday, Hendery.â You shook your head. âEver heard of champagne? Literally any wine?â
âSo youâre not gonna shotgun that, Y/N, is what Iâm hearing?â Hendery teased as you all stopped under the light post right outside the building.
âIs that a challenge or what, Wong?â You scoffed, handing it back to him. âBut no, Iâm good.â
Sungchan thankfully cut in and changed the topic of conversation, âSo are you going to start writing your letter of reconsideration, Y/N?â
This yearâs top two were you and Sungchan, the member of the Phantasma Phour you spoke to the least. Outside of the monthly âworkshopsâ (which at this point with your differing majors were just get-togethers of questionable academic value), you never saw him. You obviously saw Chenle all the time, and despite the fact that you considered him a bit obnoxious, you were sort of friends with Hendery, joining him for lunch if you happened to see him at the student union or at the coffee shop on campus. Sungchan was perfectly nice and all, you just found that you never really talked to him like the other two.
You looked down at your watch, taking a quick inhale when you saw the time. Youâd stayed in Dr. Sonâs office a lot later than youâd realized.
âOh, no,â you casually waved off Sungchanâs question, readjusting your tote bag on your shoulder. âIâve got something more pressing right now. Anyway, see you guys. It was a good four years, Iâm glad we got to do this.â
Lifting your hand in a wave of finality to the three men, you departed.
âSheâs really not going to submit a letter?â Sungchan asked, still watching after you as your figure faded away in the distance.
âNope,â Chenle shook his head, reaching for the spare White Claw in Henderyâs hand. âY/N never does.â
âYou didnât know that?â Hendery questioned the hockey player, holding the drink away from Chenle.
âWhy not?â
âSheâs not in it to win really.â Chenle lunged for the can as Hendery jerked it away at the last second. âJust wants to make stuff.â
âSo she was lying about doing something?â
Hendery and Chenle were now running circles around Sungchan in their game of keep-away with the seltzer.
âNo.â
âWhat do youââ Sungchan sighed, yanking the drink from Henderyâs grasp and holding it high above his own head, well out of either of their reaches. âHey!â
Now with their attention, the hockey captain kept his arm straight up as he returned to his question, âWhat are you talking about, Chenle?â
âY/N does have something pressing right now. If I tell you where sheâs probably going will you give me the White Claw?â Chenle bargained.
âYouâd exchange your best friendâs location for an orange White Claw? Not even watermelon?â Hendery asked incredulously.
âItâs Sungchan, someone weâve known for like four years, not some creep off the street whoâs going to wear her skin.â
âNo, Chenle, you donât have to tell me that,â Sungchan shook his head, offering the can out for either one to take.
The Literature major was able to snatch it first, jumping up in celebration, âSuck an egg, Hendery!â
âI wouldnâtââ Sungchanâs words were too late though, as Chenle had already popped the tab, and the overly-shaken seltzer exploded all over all three of them.
âZhong Chenle, Iâm going to strangle you, you little weasel!â
âAh! Sungchan, save me!â
âI would, except you got fucking orange White Claw in my eyes and Iâm fucking blind now! Goddamn!â
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 25
Rolling over in bed the next morning, you let out a big sigh and buried your face in your pillow, fully intent on going back to sleep. Saturday morning. No school, no work. Just you, your bed, and some much-needed sleep.
Then, the obnoxious blaring of your phone came from your nightstand. You groaned, reaching blindly for the object, and barely opening one eye just enough to snooze it. Damn, you really had slept in, to be woken up by your first medication alarm. Well, you werenât going to die if you took your morning doses fifteen minutes later than normal. You were about to stuff your phone under your pillow when you briefly caught sight of your lockscreen after the alarm disappeared.
Text notification from Jung Sungchan?
Flopping onto your back and bringing your phone with you, you squinted against the harsh light of your screen to make sure you were reading that right. Yep, Sungchan had definitely texted you a few hours ago, separate from the Phantasma Phour chat. At almost 7:00 a.m., too. What the hell?
Curiosity won out over a need to sleep for fourteen more minutes, and you opened the notification.
[jung sungchan: Congrats, Y/N!]
You stared blankly at the text, your groggy mind desperately grasping around for any sort of context as to why Jung Sungchan would be texting you that at 7:00 a.m. on a Saturday. Then it struck you like lightning, and you let out an audible âOh, duh!â as you remembered where you both were last night. Phantasmagorical Phriday. The writing contest. You and Sungchan were the top two. Dr. Son must have sent the email out already, and apparently you had won.
Normally, you wouldnât check your school email on the weekend until Sunday night, unless you were waiting to hear back from a specific professorâand the Sunday night check was just to see if any of your Monday classes were cancelled. Lord knows you definitely wouldnât have checked it at seven in the morning on a Saturday. You let out a snort of disbelief as you reread the timestamp on the text. But still, it was nice of him. A good show of sportsmanship, as one would expect from the hockey captain.
You quickly checked your own student email, and did in fact see an email from Dr. Son at the very top with the subject âPHINAL PHANTASMAGORICAL PHRIDAY RESULTS.â
âY/N and Sungchan:
Thank you again for your submissions. I enjoyed working with everyone these four years.
The winner this year is Y/N. Good job.
Dr. Son.â
An amused smile crept across your face at your professorâs usual blunt email style. But this was also some of the nicest feedback heâd given your writing, even when you had won Phantasmagorical Phriday in the past, or in classes that youâd taken from him over the years. Something about it truly did feel... final.
And so with an odd bittersweetness, you drafted an equally short and blunt email back to your professor.
âDr. Son:
Thank you for taking us on these past four years. I will never forget the experience.
Y/L/N Y/N.â
Then finally, you went back to the original reason that you were even doing this.
[you: thanks, sungchan!]
Then, your alarm went off again, making you jump out of your skin. Well, time for your morning meds.
MONDAY, OCTOBER 27
A tall figure was nearing the corner table you had claimed in one of the campus coffee shops the following Monday afternoon, and you looked up from your laptop screen, a little surprised at who it was. Jung Sungchan was standing at the end of your table, black flannel over a graphic t-shirt and dark wash jeans, one backpack strap slung over his shoulder. He had an iced coffee in one hand.
You paused the movie playing on your laptop, taking out both your headphones as you looked up at him inquisitively, âUh hi, Sungchan.â
âHi, Y/N.â
âAre you here to study or something?â
âMm.â He couldnât seem to meet your eyes. âNot really. Just grabbing a coffee and saw you. Do you mind if I sit with you for a bit?â
âOh, sure. Iâm waiting out the storm to leave,â you gestured to the near-constant downpour that had started right after youâd arrived over two hours ago. Noticing that some of Sungchanâs hair and shoulders were damp, you added, âThe storm you apparently got caught in without an umbrella.â
âOh, yeah,â he ran a hand through his hair to push some of it away from where it had been falling into his eyes.
âI donât mind having some company while I wait.â
To your surprise, instead of sitting across from you, Sungchan plopped himself onto the same bench that you were on, one leg slung over either side so he could face you directly.
You picked up the mug in front of you, your second cup of your drink of choice. Youâd gotten a refill after it became clear that the rain wasnât letting up any time soon. Sungchan was already a third of the way done with his iced coffee as you blew over your hot drink before taking a small sip. He glanced up at you, and you felt like you were going to choke on the uncomfortable silence. So you took a gamble. Turning in your seat to face him as well, you hiked a knee up onto the bench, bringing your mug with you.
âDo you want to ask me something, Sungchan?â
The hockey player startled, having to catch himself from nearly choking on his coffee. Seems like you were right. Sungchan finally stopped sucking down his drink, setting it down on the table and wiping his palms on the knees of his jeans. âI heard that you never sent in a letter to Dr. Son. Any year you were a top two.â
âOh, yeah, nah.â
âWhy not?â
âDidnât seem worth it,â you shrugged.
âWhat?â
âEvery year I participated I wanted my work to stand on its own two legs. After the death of the author, thatâs all thatâs left, right? The work. It has to speak for itself.â
âOh,â Sungchan nodded, then squinted his eyes, confusion entirely overtaking his features. âWait, what?â
âSorry, I donât know how much Lit Theory youâve done. Probably not a lot as a Bio major, huh? Death of the author is both literal and metaphorical. Removing what the author meant to do or say with a text from how you actually interpret the text as the reader. Itâs a lot easier when theyâre actually dead, but the abstract concept is practiced when theyâre alive too. Itâs⌠seeing the text as separate from authorial intent. Mind you, itâs only one tool in a literary criticâs arsenal, but I liked it for our Gothic fiction class. All the authors we read in that class, theyâd been gone for a while, we had no way to know what they really meant when they wrote all that stuff. And it didnât really matter for our purposes. All we did have was what they wrote, and that was enough for me. So the same should be enough for whoever reads the stuff I write. Even if itâs just Dr. Son.â
âHuh.â
âThough I guess I just explained myself a little, oops,â you laughed at yourself, taking another sip from your steaming mug. âIâm getting less and less mysterious by the second, aren't I?â
âChenle made it sound like you didnât care about winning,â Sungchan asked, cheek in hand.
You arched an eyebrow at this. âYou asked Chenle about me?â
âW-Well you left so fast after we saw Dr. Son, and you two are you know...â
âOh heâs my best friend,â you clarified for perhaps the ten-thousandth time in your life. âAnd while others may use any litany of swears for him and Hendery calls him a little weasel, I prefer âactual demon sent from Hell to kill me.ââ
âWhat?â Sungchanâs eyes widened.
âHe pushes me out of my comfort zone. In a good way, most of the time.â
âGot it. Then what do you do for him? If heâs your yangâŚâ
âIâm entertainment?â You snorted, taking another sip of your drink. After setting it back down, you answered more sincerely, âIâm kidding. Sometimes it feels like that but I did ask him one time a couple years ago, when he was tipsy enough that I believed the words coming out of his mouth but not so drunk that it was unintelligible. âA safe place.â And since then⌠I can see it in us. Thatâs my yin to him.â
He smiled softly at you. âThatâs... really nice.â
âSorry, what were you asking me before that?â
âOh, uhâ Chenle said you really didnât care about winning Dr. Sonâs contest, you just wanted to make stuff? Thatâs why you didnât submit a letter.â
âGenerally, sure. Winning wouldâve been great, but I didnât write what I thought Dr. Son wanted. I took all of his feedback with a grain of salt. Took stuff that I liked from him, took stuff I liked from other profs I had. Mixed and matched to make something that was mine.â You pressed your lips together, then leaned forward like you were about to tell him a secret, âI didnât live for Phantasmagorical Phriday, Sungchan. You do know that, right?â
âWow,â he blinked, seeming a bit disoriented. âIâve never really thought about⌠you like that.â
âWell to be fair to you, you only ever knew me there and in Dr. Sonâs class. Makes it hard not to think of me only through that lens. All you know about me is that I presumably like Gothic fiction and Iâm a Lit major, right?â
âRight.â
âSo what do you think I was doing here before you showed up?â
ââŚReading Edgar Allan Poe.â
You couldnât help but laugh at that, turning your laptop screen to show the paused movie to him, âI was watching Pacific Rim.â
His jaw literally dropped, and you felt the need to save him at least a little. Grabbing a book from your bag, you held it up, âI did come here initially to finish reading this new mystery novel I just got, but then the storm came and I had nothing else to do after I was done with the book.â
âBut still⌠youâre soâŚâ
âI have interests outside the one class we took together?â
âSmart,â he finished, an absolutely adorable expression of wonder across his face.
You werenât expecting that, surprised giggles bubbling up out of you as you felt yourself growing warm under his awestruck gaze.
âAnyway, your turn,â you tapped his knee with your book before putting it back in your bag.
âFor what?â
âTo expand my horizons of you. All I know about you is that youâre the hockey captain, and a Bio major who took a gothic fiction class one time like three years ago. Show me youâre a multifaceted individual, too.â
âUhm, thatâs about it.â
âOh come on, Sungchan.â
âNo really, if Iâm not on the ice, Iâm in class; if Iâm not in class, Iâm with my team; and if Iâm not with my team, Iâm studying.â
âYouâre here, right now,â you pointed out. âLast I checked Iâm not on your hockey team, and weâre not studying. You have to do one thing thatâs not for school or hockey. My thing was just watching Pacific Rim this one time, remember?â
âAlrightâŚâ he paused to think, fingers tapping along his thighs. âI used to play the piano.â
âPast tense, but Iâll accept it. When did you stop?â
âHigh school? Around when piano lessons and hockey practice started conflicting.â
âAnd you chose hockey?â You asked, hoping it didnât sound judgmental. You really were just curious, trying to understand him.
âActually, the choice was made for me.â He held his right hand out in front of you, and it was then that you saw his pinky finger was unnaturally crooked as he pointed to the digit. âI broke it in a game without even realizing it. Bruises and stiffness sometimes are normal so me and my parents didnât know anything was up until weeks later when I was fucking up all the notes at my piano lessons because it still hurt. By the time I finally saw a doctor and got a splint on it, it set up wrong. All dexterity for piano out the window. Hockey on the other hand⌠guys have done a lot more with a lot less.â
You couldnât help but curiously run a gentle fingertip over the crook in his pinky. âDoes it hurt at all? Now?â
âNot really.â He went to bend and flex the fingers of his right hand, and you saw how the fifth finger didnât curl up as much as the others. âItâs just a lot stiffer. Doesnât bother me all that much.â
He brought his left hand up and wiggled the fingers on that hand. âBesides, Iâm a lefty anyway.â
âSoâapologies if this sounds like a stupid question to you, I donât know anything about hockeyâare there like, different hockey sticks for left-handed and right-handed players?â
Sungchan immediately broke into snickers, and you set down your mug to cross your arms over your chest indignantly.
âHey, I didnât laugh at you for not knowing what death of the author wasââ
âI wasnât making fun of you, Iâm sorry,â he covered his mouth. âThat was just⌠too cute. Uhm yes, there are lefty and righty sticks.â
You had to bite down your bottom lip to not smile at him calling you cute, and instead keep up your ruse of being offended. âI feel patronized.â
âIâm sorry, Iâm sorry.â There was still a hint of a giggle in his tone, and you felt your self-righteous façade slip away as he continued, âYou should come to a game, then, if you really want to broaden your horizons. The season just started. First home game is this Thursday, actually. 7:00 p.m. and students get free admission with your student ID.â
âThursday?â
âFridays are for basketball, Saturdays are for football.â
âOh. Right.â
âYou donât go to those games either, do you?â
âOh no, did I make it obvious?â You asked sarcastically.
âA bit,â Sungchan jested back.
Outside the window visible past Sungchan, the rain had let up a few minutes ago, and you briefly glanced over at your laptop for the time. Shit, your next alarm was going to be going off soon. If you left now, you should be home at roughly the right time for your next dose.
Clicking your tongue, you started packing up your things, âWell, looks like the rainâs finally let up enough to allow me safe passage. Thatâs my cue.â
âOh.â The hockey player with you looked over his shoulder at the newly sunny day outside before turning back to watch you put your things away.
âAre you heading out too?â You nodded to his empty cup.
âIâve uh, got some homework to do.â
âGuess this is where we part ways then.â
âUm, you didnât say if you were going. To the game.â
You tucked your chin to your chest to hide your smitten smile as you put your laptop in your bag. Typically just asking for the details wouldâve been taken for a yes, but Sungchan wanted extra confirmation. This boy wasnât good for your heart, truly.
Turning back to him, you gave him a firm and nearly business-like nod. âYeah, Iâll be there.â
A bright grin lit up his features. âOkay! Great! Uhm, feel free to bring some friends, I know just sitting in the stands by yourself might be lonely.â
âIâll see if I can drag somebody else out. Itâll be a tall order, though. Literature majors, you know, we prefer our Shakesperean poetry readings.â
âOh, wellââ
âIâm kidding,â you laughed and stood then, slinging your tote onto your shoulder. âHonestly, have you seen Chenle at a rager? Boy can drink twice his body weight I swear. He shouldnât, but he can.â
Before you could reach for your cup and saucer to buss your place, the hockey captain spoke up, âIâll take care of your mug, donât worry.â
âOh, thanks, Sungchan! Iâll see you Thursday then.â
âByeâŚâ Sungchan trailed off, watching the door long after it had closed behind you.
He didnât actually have any homework to do, and scrolled on his phone for a few minutes to make sure you were out of the area before leaving himself. He grabbed his long-empty plastic cup and your mug. His went in the trash, and as he went to put yours up with the other dishes and trays, his eyes were caught by the iridescent glitters left behind on the rim by your lip gloss.
[you: hey what are you doing thursday at 7:00?]
[chenle: depends on what weird poetry reading youâre trying to drag me to]
[you: not this time. Sungchanâs hockey game?]
[chenle: you want to go to a sporting event?? why????]
[you: i told him iâd go please donât make me go by myself]
[chenle: did you offer to go or did he ask you to come?]
[you: he asked me to? i guess?]
[chenle: haha yeah fuck no iâm not going with you]
[you: why not????????]
[chenle: a guy invited you to one of his games? yeah no way am i coming with you]
[you: what difference does that make? youâre seriously going to make me go to a hockey game by myself?]
[chenle: i donât know how to tell you this gently so: he wants to fuck you]
[you: bro???]
[chenle: especially hockey? caveman brain is activated, he wants to show off how big and strong he is for you over the other males]
[you: damn canât believe i just blinked and woke up in 200 BC]
[chenle: iâm warning you, only go if youâre ready for the consequences. i.e., that]
[you: so youâre not coming with me]
[chenle: no <3]
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 30
Your chronically early self had gotten there as soon as the doors opened to spectators in order to scope out the perfect spot for yourself. Somewhere not too close to any speakers, where you could still see what was going on, hopefully somewhere Sungchan could maybe see you, but you could make a quick escape if need be. A lot of parameters, hence the need to be early. That meant that you got to watch the visiting team warm up first, and now your schoolâs team was warming up before the game. Finally the stands started filling up, and you had to do a double-take at the newest figure entering.
âZhong Chenle, you lying little bitch!â You cursed out your best friend who was approaching you.
He immediately went to defend himself as he plopped down beside you, âLook, I told you I wasnât going with you, not that I wasnât going at all. Come on, Lit major.â
He finished off with a solid knock on your head, which didnât hurt all that much through the beanie you were wearing, but you still slapped his arm away with a glare.
âAre you sure you want to live until graduation day? I canât tell sometimes.â
âHalf the team are Nu Chi guys,â Chenle explained his being there, then waved at one of the players skating by, 23, who gave a salute back. âJeno.â
âOh.â You belatedly waved too, but your friend had already turned back to warming up.
Chenle then gave you the run-down on all your friends and acquaintancesâ numbers as he spotted them.
âGoalie. Sicheng, 7.â He just blocked a shot from a familiar number, 23. âAlready told you, 23 is Jeno. Right wing.â
âDoes he always suck?â
âHereâs Ten, number 10. Right defense. Heâs never told me which came first, his nickname or his jersey number.â
Sicheng blocked Tenâs shot.
â2 is Mark, center.â His went in.
â66, Donghyuck, center alternate.â His also went in.
â24, thatâs Yangyang, left wingâand a miss!â
âThis doesnât bode well that so many of our players apparently kind of suck.â You muttered to yourself, well aware that Chenle was no longer listening to you.
Finally, the tallest of the team was skating up to take a shot. âAnd thereâs your guy, Y/N. Number 27, Jung Sungchan, left defense, captain, your dreamboatââ
âIf you donât shut upââ
âOh! All net!â
âIsnât that a basketballââ
âHey, you got your earplugs, right?â
âYep, same ones for concerts,â you confirmed, reaching into your purse for them. You hadnât been able to take your full tote bag into the school sporting event, so you had to condense the essentials into your smaller purse.
âGood, because uh, itâll get loud.â
âI figured.â
âYeah, remember how half the team are Nu Chi guys?â
Your eyes widened in realization, âOh god.â
âHere they come!â
Whipping around to face the same direction he was looking, you saw a horde of about ten to fifteen guys storming the rink, practically shaking the audience section. They were all donned in blue and orange, your universityâs colors, various hockey or Nu Chi merch and paraphernalia, and you wouldâve absolutely bet money that at least three of them had Nu, Chi, and Tau symbols painted across each of their chests under their shirts. Chenle leapt up to greet them all, the volume of the area immediately rising tenfold at least.
You recognized most of the Nu Chi frat brothers, they were mutual friends or acquaintances of yours through Chenle over the years, and there were even some familiar graduated faces. Lee Taeyong was the first to pick up on your presence, squeezing past Jisungâa new pledge that had glommed onto Chenle in particularâto plop down behind your seat.
âWhat are you doing here, Y/N?â Taeyong asked you with a tilted head. âNot exactly a good place for you, is it?â
Taeyong was frat president for your first two years of college and his last two. You had an absolute disaster at a Nu Chi party in your freshman year that he was witness to. Ever since then, when you would see him in passing at other lowkey (or as lowkey as frat functions could get) Nu Chi events that Chenle took you to during those two years, you always got the distinct impression that he was keeping an eye on you during them.
âCould be asking you the same thing, Taeyong,â you countered, fully turning around in your seat to chat with the man. âDidnât you graduate two years ago? You donât have anything better to do on a Thursday night? Like your taxes or something?â
âUs old-timers who peaked in college like to come back and re-live our glory days vicariously for the first home game,â he entertained your jibe, making you giggle. âAnd somebodyâs got to be these kidsâ DD. They always go at it too hard after the first game. Win or lose.â
Johnny, another graduated Nu Chi brother, spoke up then, eyes laser-focused on you, âSo Chenleâs finally dragged you out to a game, Y/N?â
You immediately looked at your friend with wide eyes, knowing what the answer was, and exactly what reaction said answer would garner. Chenle, on the other hand, seemed all too thrilled to join in, turning to face you with his hands on his hips and a knowing smirk on his face.
âOh no, I didnât bring Y/N. She actually didnât know I was coming at all. I found her here all on her own,â he announced to all the guys, who were hanging on to every word he said. If literally anything else were happening, you mightâve laughed at how they were all wrapped around his finger.
âNo offense, but you donât really seem like youâre interested in hockey,â Jungwoo, a junior who youâd shared a couple literature classes with, said curiously.
You sighed, giving Chenle a frank look before admitting, âJung Sungchan invited me.â
They exploded with various hoots, hollers, whoops, and whistles.
With a shake of your head, you turned back around to look back at the players on the ice, knowing full well that there was nothing you could do alleviateâor even really participate inâthe absolute chaos that was happening behind you.
Eventually, the game started. Taeyong, who had moved to sit on your other side from Chenle, quietly explained the basics of what was going on to you: positions, plays, scoring, why the referee made certain calls. Chenle was caught between cheering along with the other Nu Chi guys and rattling off hyper-specific stats on individual players to you, so you were truly grateful to have Taeyong giving you your âhockey for dummiesâ tips and tidbits throughout.
You kept your eyes on number 27, as Chenle had pointed him out to you earlier. The gear made it somewhat difficult for you to really recognize any distinguishing features about Sungchan himself except maybe his height, made even greater by the skates he was wearing. But as much as the intellectual side of you mightâve hated to admit it, there was definitely some part of you that very much enjoyed watching him play; that got some kind of thrill every time somebody tried to check him and he didnât budgeâor when he checked somebody and they most definitely did budge.
Before you knew it, all three periods were over, and you were jumping to your feet along with the others, cheering wildly. Your school won by a landslide.
âOh, theyâre going to get plastered,â Taeyong murmured from beside you fondly.
All of you had been in the cheering section milled around in the ice rink lobby waiting for the team to get out of the locker room.
âThat was fun,â you declared to Chenle as the two of you stood off to the side from the larger group of loud Nu Chi brothers.
âYeah, you didnât seem like you were listening to a word I said.â
âBecause you were telling me sports stats, Chenle, Iâm surprised my brain didnât start bleeding out of my ears.â
âWell Iâm surprised your nose wasnât bleeding watching your dreamboat Jung Sungchan beat up all those other guys,â Chenle teased. â200 BC called, they want their cavewoman backââ
You lunged at him, managing to get an arm around his throat in the beginnings of a questionably friendly chokehold, âIâm going to kill you, you littleââ
âNo murder in the rink!â Came the chastising voice of Johnny Suh from afar, and you reluctantly let him go.
The players started streaming out of the locker room soon after, and you nervously scanned the crowd for Sungchan. Chenle was easily dragged into the chaos of everyone celebrating, leaving you standing off to the side waiting.
Finally, you spotted him. Sungchan was wearing a simple pair of black sweatpants and black hoodie with your schoolâs name embroidered across the front, his hair a bit mussed up. He was deep in conversation with Sicheng, brow furrowed. The goalieâs features were similarly serious as they gestured to each other. You stayed put, not wanting to interrupt. Taeyong had mentioned that Sicheng was sort of like a co-captain, you guessed they might be doing something important.
Then youâd suddenly made eye contact with Sicheng, who was facing you. He gave you a casual head nod, and said something to Sungchan you couldnât quite make out. The captain whipped around, a bright smile coming to his face as soon as his eyes landed on you. You lifted your hand to give him a small wave and smile back.
Sungchan quickly ended his conversation with Sicheng, making his way over to where you were standing by a wall.
âHey, Y/N,â he was still smiling down at you, his eyes practically glittering even in the harsh fluorescents of the lobby. âSo you really made it out.â
âI said I would.â You fidgeted with the straps of your bag.
âAndâŚ?â
You tilted your head, âAnd?â
âWhat did you think? You know, are your horizons super broad now or something?â
You couldnât help but laugh. His phrasing was funny, but also remembering how he played and was now giving you his undivided attention admittedly made your chest flutter.
âIt was good, yeah. I had fun,â you confirmed. âYou uhm, you played really good. I think.â
âThanks,â Sungchan scratched at the back of his neck, and you swore the tips of his ears were pink, but that couldâve just been the cold. âDid you drive yourself?â
âWalked, my apartment is close.â
âUh, so, we all go out to a bar after games usually. Itâs kind of a sleazy dive bar, and I know itâs a Thursday, but Iâd really like for you to come. Iâll buy you a drââ
âIâm really sorry, Sungchan, but I canât. Iâd love to, butâŚâ You trailed off, wracking your brain for some concise way to explain why he couldnât buy you a drink.
âDonât worry, itâs okay,â Sungchan assured you, and you winced at the way the hopeful smile fell from his face.
An awkward silence descended over the two of you. You were chewing on your bottom lip, desperately trying to think of something to say to gloss over your rejecting his offer. You didnât want to end the conversation on such a sour note, nor did you want to leave him just yet either. Stealing a glance at the clock above you on the wall, however, you knew that youâd need to be going soon anyway.
The hockey player was the one who ended up breaking the silence, âCan I walk you home? Itâs late for you to be out by yourself.â
A relieved smile overtook your features, and you hoped he could see the sincerity in it, âSure, thank you. Let me let Chenle know heâs relieved of his man-shaped friend duties for the night, and we can go.â
You got on your tiptoes to look around for your friend, finally spotting him in a headlock by Jeno, with Yangyang giving him a noogie. They all seemed to be laughing, so it didnât look too much like bullying that you felt the need to intervene.
âYou know, Iâll just text him, actually,â you chuckled, bringing out your phone to do just that.
âMan-shaped friend duties?â Sungchan questioned as the automatic doors parted for the two of you.
âHis words, not mine,â you snorted. âBut you know, making sure a woman doesnât walk places by herself at night, that kind of stuff. Having a man just with her makes her safer, as fucked up as that is. Chenle corrected it to be man-shaped since heâs not the manly protective type.â
âI see.â
âBut it looks like youâre on man-shaped friend duties for tonight, Sungchan.â
As soon as the words were out of your mouth, you wanted to stuff them back in. Friend. God, that was absolutely not what was happening here and you knew it. Chenleâs previous texts flashed across your mind. You obviously knew why Sungchan wouldâve wanted to invite you to his game, and you said yes purposefully. Friend. Foot, meet mouth.
Sungchan blinked down at you, but seemed to take it in stride, âOf course, Y/N. Anytime you need a man-shaped person at your side, just call me up. Iâll bring my hockey stick.â
He patted his gear bag that was slung over his shoulder, making you giggle.
âIâll keep you on speed dial, then.â
It was a short walk to your apartment, and you and Sungchan mostly talked about the game. You asked him a couple questions that Taeyong hadnât covered during itâ which Chenle mightâve, except you had tuned him out. And as you came to a stop at your front door, you didnât yet fish your keys from your bag.
âHow often do you have away games?â You asked.
âTheyâre usually about half,â Sungchan shrugged. âItâs a bit annoying missing classes, and the bus is kind of rank on the trip back.â
âEwâŚâ You wrinkled your nose.
âBut theyâre always a lot of fun.â
âSo, uhm, whenâs your next home game?â
His face brightened as he seemed to realize what exactly you were asking, âNext week. Same time.â
âOkay, cool.â You bit your lip.
âCool,â he echoed.
You looked up at Sungchan, catching his eyes for a heart stopping moment. Both of you were standing on your welcome mat, he was close enough that you could catch a faint whiff of the detergent from his clothesâa college athlete with freshly washed clothes? You might already be in loveâand watched his Adamâs apple bob up and down as he swallowed. You had the urge to grab him by the front of his hoodie and yank himâ
A garish, blaring ringing going off interrupted your split-second pros and cons weighing that had been going on. Sungchan startled at the noise, reminding you very much of a baby moose in the moment. You groaned as you reached into your bag for your phone.
âOh my god, stop it,â you hissed under your breath as you snoozed the alarm that was going off on there. Once it was quiet, you looked back up at the man with you sheepishly, âSorry about that.â
He joked, âCurfew?â
You laughed lightly, âNo, just a reminder for something I have to do after I get home. Itâs fine.â
âWell, before you go do that, can I ask you something?â
âYeah, of course.â
âNu Chi and the team are hosting a joint Halloween party this year, and Iâd really like it if I could see you there.â
âWhen?â
âTomorrow, people will probably start showing up after like ten, eleven. Itâs at the Nu Chi house, theirs is bigger than ours.â
âFascinating phrasing,â you snickered.
âI know this is last minute, so I get if you have other plans or something.â
âI⌠can probably swing by for a bit, yeah,â you nodded.
âGreat!â Sungchan beamed. âOh, it is a costume party, by the way.â
âCostume?â You arched a brow. âWhatâll you being going as? And please donât say hockey player.â
He rubbed the back of his neck, âDefinitely not⌠that would be lameâŚâ
âYou were planning on going as a hockey player, werenât you?â
âMe and Mark have been putting all our spare time into planning this thing, I havenât had any time to think about a costume.â
âWell youâve given me 24-hour notice for a costume, so this is your 24-hour notice for one too. When I find you at the Nu Chi house tomorrow, I do not want to see a hockey jersey, Jung Sungchan. Any sports player is off-limits, understand?â You poked his chest with finality.
âYes, maâam.â He nodded in assent.
Just then, your alarm went off again, and this time you jumped out of your skin. Apparently, another 5 minutes had elapsed. With a sigh, you reached into your bag for your keys.
âI should let you go do that thing,â Sungchan chuckled. âGoodnight, Y/N.â
âGoodnight, Sungchan,â you unlocked your front door. âSee you tomorrow.â
Sitting at your kitchen table a couple minutes later, you were looking down at the vitals displayed on the screen of your blood pressure cuff.
âJung SungchanâŚâ you muttered to yourself as you added the reading to your digital record, noting how the line graph jumped up with the new data.
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 31
âYou agreed to go to a frat party?â Chenleâs eyes were bugging out of his head as he sat across a high top in the dining hall from you. You two were grabbing a quick lunch between classes, and doing an obligatory catch-up on how your short but sweet walk with Sungchan went last night. âDo you remember what happened last time, Y/N?â
âHard to forget,â you snorted.
âAnd yet it seems you did, somehow, lost in dreamboat Jung Sungchanâs eyes.â
You threw a fry from his plate at him, âIt wasnât like that!â
He ducked, letting it sail by his head and hit the wall behind him.
âThen what was it like?â
âIt was more like a big puppy that I couldnât say no to andââ
You were cut off by loud gagging noises from your friend, and went to kick him under the table, but missed and hit his chair leg instead. He still got the message, quieting down to let you continue.
âI told him Iâd be able to just pop in for a bit. Iâll be in and out before itâll get too bad.â
âFamous last words...â
âHold on, LeLe,â you grabbed your friendâs arm to stop him on the sidewalk in front of the Nu Chi Tau frat house.
Taking another look into your tote bag, you made sure once again that you had everything you could possibly need tonight. Medications, snacks, water bottle, ear plugs, the usual. After closing the snaps on the bag, you nervously fidgeted with the hem of your costume. Generic witch, it was the last thing the costume store had in your size that wasnât garishly scary. You understood well and good how college Halloween parties worked: you had to look hot, not terrifying. Not to mention that those horror show costumes were also much pricier than your âSexy Witchâ one.
âYou look cute, Y/N,â Chenle reassured you, readjusting your witch hat for you. âJung Sungchan wonât know what hit him.â
Chenle, on the other hand, was an almost scarily realistic zombie. If you hadnât spent an ungodly amount of time hanging out on his bathroom counter this afternoon watching him apply the SFX makeup himself, you wouldâve thought he had hired a professional makeup artist to do it. Heâd always gone ham on Halloween since you two were kids, ever since he figured out how to make a Transformers costume out of cardboard boxes in primary school. You usually participated in partner costumes with him, but you really didnât want him to make you a gross-looking zombie tonight.
âThanks.â You gave him as confident a smile as you could muster.
Resecuring your grip on your go bag, you started up the walkway to the house with your friend.
You had been able to faintly hear the thumping bass of the music from outside, but once inside, you were almost immediately hit by a wall of music. Just inside the front door you were faced with a mass of people in bright costumes, flashing lights, corny Halloween decorations of cobwebs, spiders, ghosts, and pumpkins all over the walls.
Chenle looked over at you expectantly, âY/N?â
âI couldnât find my concert earplugs, only my noise canceling. I wonât be able to hear anybody unless theyâre shouting at me if I put those in,â you replied, having to raise your voice to make sure he heard you. âIâll be fine.â
âOkayâŚâ He sighed and grabbed your elbow. âCome on, letâs find a quieter spot in the house then.â
You gave him a thumbs up and bright grin, already feeling your ears acclimate to the loudness. You could totally do this. It was one night, and you were just going to see Sungchan for a bit then go. Pop in then back out, just like you said.
You didnât have to wait long to spot Sungchan. Chenle had barely tugged you into the next room over from the small foyer when a familiar head was visible over the crowd, his bright smile focused on you.
âHey, Y/N!â Sungchan grinned down at you. He was dressed in a suit and tie, what you were guessing was probably his only set, and his hair was parted to one side, styled off of his face. The tie had already been loosened, and the tuck of his dress shirt wasnât so crisp.
âHi, Sungchan,â you smiled up at him, amazed that you could hear anything over both the music and now your heart beating so loudly in your ears.
âSo you did find a costume.â
âOh, yeah,â you messed with the hem of your skirt. âLast one at the shop.â
âYou look great.â He was still beaming down at you, and you could feel your skin growing warmer. âIâm really glad you could make it.â
âThanks. Uhm, so what are you? Funeral director?â
âWhat? No, Iâmââ His sentence stopped in its tracks as he looked down at the front of his suit jacket. He started patting his empty breast pocket, then other jacket pockets, then pants pockets, then looked around on the floor. âFuck.â
âWhat?â You looked around under your feet, but werenât able to see anything other than the usual party debris. âDid you lose something?â
Sungchan looked back up at you, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. âWell, I was about to say that Iâm Mulder from the X-Files. But Iâve apparently lost my fake FBI badge. So it looks like Iâm a funeral director now.â
You giggled. âMaybe you can be Mulder when he retires and buys a funeral home.â
âYeah, the perfect costume. Wonât take too long to explain to anybody, theyâll get it immediately,â he laughed.
âHey, Iâm just glad you didnât wear a jersey.â
âIâm nothing if not a man of my word.â
âOh, have you seen Chenleâs makeup by theââ But when you turned around to gesture to your friend, you found that he had disappeared, leaving you and the hockey captain all alone.
âChenle?â Sungchan asked with a tilted head. âI didnât even realize he was here yet.â
You shook your head fondly at your friendâs antics. Well, youâd have to thank him later.
âHe must have gone to get a drink or something. Either way, it seems Iâve been abandoned.â
âWell, you can come hang out with me and some of the guys, if you want?â He offered.
âYeah, Iâd really like that,â you nodded, readjusting your bag to make sure it was pulled in tight to your body.
Sungchan led you through the frat house with a hand on the small of your back, and you snuck a glance up at him when he went to greet someone who had called his name as you passed by. He kept you tucked into his side as he slowed to give the guy a friendly slap on the shoulder. As soon as Sungchan had stopped to say hello, two more people appeared seemingly from nowhere, eagerly greeting him as well. You faintly recognized one, Jisung, a new Nu Chi pledge. Heâd been at the hockey game you went to, and always found Chenle at Nu Chi events that you tagged along to. You looked up at Sungchanâs animated, handsome face again as he continued talking.
âThis is Y/N.â Sungchanâs voice suddenly pulled you into the conversation. You snapped your focus down from his face to the other three that were in front of you, and realized that they all definitely knew that youâd been staring.
âOh, hi.â You gave the three boys a nervous smile.
âY/N, this is Jisung, Shotaro, and Renjun. Jisung and Shotaro are Nu Chi pledges, Renjunâs a sophomore brother, and heâsâyouâre a Literature major, right, Renjun?â
âYes.â One of them nodded.
âRenjunâs a Literature major too, Y/N,â Sungchan finished the introduction.
âCool, cool,â you nodded. It had been Shotaro that called Sungchan over in the first place, you were pretty sure.
âAnyway, thanks for the offer, guys, but I already promised Hyuck I would, so weâve got to go.â
Sungchan ushered you away to the tune of a chorus of disappointed groans from the three boys, and you wracked your brain to see if you could recall hearing any sort of proposition from them. But nope, between the loud music and your prior lack of attention to the conversation, you had nothing.
âWhat did they want?â You gave up and finally asked Sungchan.
âBeer pong. Hope you donât mind that I declined. Iâve already had a couple and am not looking to get wasted quite yet.â
âOh, no, not at all,â you shook your head. Thank god you didnât have to deal with that yet. âNot really my thing anyway. Terrible hand-eye coordination.â
Sungchan seemed about to say something when someone walked by you with an exceptionally pungent cologne. The whiff shot directly to your head like a bullet, the sharp pain making you wince and hiss. It took everything in you not to cover your nose like Edward Cullen and instead shift to breathing through your mouth for a few moments.
âY/N? You okay?â Sungchanâs voice was clearly concerned.
The sharp pain was gone just a couple moments after it had registered, and you opened your eyes up again, giving him a reassuring smile. âYeah, Iâm fine. Sorry, donât know what that was.â
âOkay, good.â He squeezed your shoulder before dropping his hand back down to your back and continuing your trek through the Nu Chi house.
You and Sungchan finally made it to a room adjacent to the main living room, where there were a couple of beat-up old couches and lots of Nu Chi Tau paraphernalia. The bass of the music playing in the next room over would occasionally make the picture frames and plaques on the walls rattle, and you could hear every word of the songs crystal clear, even though the room that you were in was packed to the brim with partygoers as well. Sungchan stopped you at a group of people gathered around one of the couches, tapping the shoulders of two of them who had their backs to you. Donghyuck and Hendery turned around, immediately parting to make room for the both of you in the group upon seeing you.
Almost everyone in the group was familiar to you either as friends or acquaintances. Your social circle was big thanks to Chenle, who was friends with practically the entire hockey team and Nu Chi house, despite being a member of neither. But now you didnât have your best friend at your side, just Sungchan and your tote bag, both of which you were keeping close to you.
âOh shit, Y/N!â Hendery grinned, pulling you into a one-armed hug of greeting. âDamn, it really is you!â
âYeah, Iâm a witch, not a ghost, Hendery,â you retorted jokingly. He was dressed as Prince Eric, if you werenât mistaken.
âWell, when Sungchan said you were coming, some of us were a bit... skeptical.â
Someone dressed as Venom cut in from Henderyâs other side sharply, âNo, I believe you said ânever in a million fucking years, loverboy.ââ
The rest of the group erupted in tipsy snickers and âoohâs, and you felt Sungchan jostle a little as someone had presumably given him a teasing shove.
âAlright, guys. You can cut it out now,â Sungchan spoke over them authoritatively. He then looked down to you, features softening. âSorry. Anyway, this is Donghyuck, heâs on the team and in Nu Chiââ
He pointed to the boy right next to him, wearing a very classic vampire costume splattered with a little bit of fake blood or fruit punch (you couldnât tell in the poor lighting), and you wondered if he had also gone to a Halloween store last-minute like you. You knew him both from the game, and from a couple times youâd seen him with Chenle outside of frat or hockey events.
âMark, frat president and heâs on the hockey teamââ He was next to Donghyuck, dressed as Spiderman. You were already familiar with Mark, both from the game, and a group project in a class last year. You wondered if Mark remembered that.
âTen, hockey and Nu Chiââ Ten was reclined on the couch, a top hat that had presumably been on his head earlier now resting on his propped up knee. Between that and his eyepatch, he clearly was dressed as some character that you couldnât identify in the moment. You knew Ten outside of hockey, the frat, or even Chenle. He was a Lit major, so you had shared classes and study groups over the years. He raised a friendly hand in greeting.
âSicheng, my co-captain and heâs in Nu Chi, tooââ He was on the couch with Ten, sequestered to one corner as his teammate was taking up most of the space with his legs. Sicheng was dressed up as an angel, fake wings, little halo, and all. And you knew Sicheng through Ten, theyâd been roommates since freshman year and could often be found together around campus. He gave you a nod of familiarity.
âDejun, Nu Chiââ Sungchan had finally reached the man who was dressed as Venom.
âAnd you of course, unfortunately, know Hendery, Nu Chi.â
âOh, boo, Sungchan,â Hendery stuck his tongue out at the captain.
You smiled and nodded a little bit at everyone else, but you were finding it hard to concentrate with the music in the background. Did it really need to be that loud?
âY/N?â The sound of your name snapped your focus up, and you looked around for the source.
A few of the guys had gone back to their own conversations. Sungchan was looking down at you, head tilted inquisitively. Presumably he had been to the one to say your name.
âOh, sorry,â you tried to give a nonchalant chuckle, but it was getting harder and harder to even articulate yourself with all the stimulation. âThe music...â
âOh!â Sungchan perked up at this. âDo you want to go dance?â
He was offering a hand out to you, and you stared down at it, mouth opening and closing as your brain felt like it was moving through sludge. You quite literally could not process what that string of words actually meant for a good second, and then it took even longer for you to even tie together the right way for you to respond. Cognitive fatigue. Oh this was not good. You squeezed your eyes shut, then open.
You again gave him an apologetic smile. âIâm sorry. Iâm- Iâm kind of light-headed right now. Could you get me something to drink?â
His features immediately turned concerned. âOf course. Do you need to sit down or a ride hââ
âCan you just get me a drink?â Your brain was stuck in a perpetual loop now that it had locked onto one task. It took all of your energy just to regulate your tone enough to keep your voice (hopefully) as sweet as possible, despite the fact that you had cut him off.
âOf course. Iâll be right back.â He squeezed your upper arm reassuringly before taking off.
Your eyes were fixated on the spot where he had just been, your vision seeming to continuously zoom in and past your head. Squeezing your eyes shut once more, you took a deep breath through your mouth to try to recenter yourself. But it didnât help any. Your head felt like a balloon that someone was overinflating, and you knew exactly what was coming next. You swallowed thickly, taking a second to look through the crowd. Nope, you couldnât wait for Sungchan. Not like you could even verbalize much of anything right now. You had to go take your medication.
So you hurried into the crowd, clutching your tote bag to your chest like your life depended on itâwhich it really did. Mumbling âexcuse meâs to everyone you shouldered, bumped into, or stepped on the toes of, you finally made it to a door that you were pretty sure was a bathroom. You tried the handle first, and when it gave in, you still knocked as you opened it, just in case. It was miraculously empty. Maybe there really was a God. Then, the balloon started to deflate, the pressure in your head inverted, becoming a harsh, squeezing pain instead. Nope, nope, definitely not a God. Or at least not a benevolent one.
You locked the door behind you with clumsy fingers and shuffled over to the sink. The countertop was in good enough condition for you to toss your bag up there and start rooting around through it. Bottle after bottle after bottle, then you finally secured the right two. You shook out a pill from one, then a pill from the other. The lights above the mirror were becoming more insufferable by the second. You cracked open the fresh bottle of water you had stored in your bag too, and knocked both pills back in one big gulp.
Tossing the water back into your bag, you could fucking finally flip the switch and turn the lights in the bathroom off. After feeling your way along the wall, you eventually found the bathtub, and sat yourself down. The music was somewhat muffled in here, and you figured this was going to be the darkest room in the whole Nu Chi house. Right now, your plan was to wait in here for your medication to kick in and hopefully stop this migraine before it really got going. Then you could make your great escape, and send Sungchan some bullshit apology text later. After tossing your witch hat to the ground vaguely beside your bag, you gently rested your head against the cool tile of the shower with a sigh. Chenle was right, you shouldnât have come. Cynically, you thought that you should have timed it. See how long you lasted before you got a migraine. Youâd be surprised if that was even 15 minutes.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Sungchan returned to the group with your requested drink in hand and another for himself, frowning when he immediately noticed your absence. âHey, whereâd Y/N go?â
âOh, shit, uhâŚâ Mark looked around with a baffled look on his face. âNo clue dude, she was just here a second ago.â
âIâm going to go find her. Here.â He shoved both drinks into Henderyâs hands.
âSungchan, come on, take a hint, man,â Donghyuck sighed, patting the taller boyâs shoulder sympathetically.
âWhat?â
âShe asked you to get her something to drink and then slipped away when nobody was looking.â
âY/Nâs not like that.â
âAnd denialâs a river in Egypt.â
âNo, she hasnât been feeling well all night. I think. Iâm going to go look for her.â
âSo youâre admitting that you make her physically ill.â
âDude, youâre just asking to get your shit rocked, you know that, right?â Ten warned him.
âHey, Iâm standing up for womenââ
Mark cut him off, âHyuck, youâre on your own if Sungchan decides to fuck your shit up. I donât care if youâre my little, Iâm notââ
âOh, wahhh, my big strong big wonât protect me.â
âChrist, I swear heâs only had like four shots and a coupleâŚâ
His friendsâ voices quickly faded into the din of the party as Sungchan pushed through the crowd. He couldnât spot you, but found maybe the next best thing.
âHey, Chenle.â He grabbed him by the elbow, turning him away from the arm wrestling competition between Jeno and Yangyang that he was spectating. Or, he at least hoped this was Chenle, it was a bit hard to tell with the zombie makeup.
âHey, Romeo!â Chenle greeted him jovially, punching him in the shoulder over-zealously. Okay, definitely him.
âHave you seen Y/N? In the past like, five minutes or so?â
âYou lost her?â The zombie asked angrily, cheerful mood immediately soured.
âUh, yes? Sorry?â
âNo, Iâm not pissed at you,â he shook his head at Sungchanâs apology. âYou go check the bathrooms, Iâll look outside. Donât bother calling her, sheâs not going to pick up.â
âWhatâsââ
But Chenle was already gone.
You werenât sure how long you had been sitting in there for, but you could feel some of the overstimulation from the party beginning to slide off of you. Which could be either a good or bad thing. Cognitive fatigue was usually a prodrome and postdrome for you. Regaining some clarity could either mean that your medication was working and the migraine was going away, or you were about to enter the proper migraine phase. The fact that the pain hadnât gone away was worrying. But at least it was dark, and relatively quiet. Oh, quiet... you could put in your earplugs now too.
Just as you had gone to grab for your bag, there was a knock at the bathroom door. You froze. Shit.
âOccupied!â You yelled out hesitantly to them, wincing at the loudness of your own voice. Okay, ow.
The person knocked again, harder.
âSeriously! Busy in here! Puking my brains out!â You yelled even louder, hoping they got the fucking idea this time. There was no way you wanted to have to actually get up and deal with a drunk partygoer that needed to piss and/or puke.
âY/N? That you?â A familiar voice came through the door. âItâs Sungchan, can I come in?â
âOh, sure, hold on.â You clambered out of the tub as carefully as you could in the dim lighting coming from under the door.
Against your better judgment, you turned one set of lights on in the bathroom, then cracked the bathroom door open. Sungchan was in fact on the other side, and you stepped back to let him in. He looked around the bathroom, worry on his face.
You shut the door behind him, saying sheepishly, âSo, I was lying about the puking my brains out.â
âBut you donât look okay.â He peered down at your face as you were still wincing against the bright lights. âYou didnât drink anything tonight, whatâs wrong?â
You went to sit on the side of the tub, feeling a pain in your eyes now. You gestured to the light switch. âCan you turn that light off?â
âUh, okayâŚâ He obliged, and the room was dim once again.
Your eyes adjusted quickly, and you could still see the general outline of everything in the room. Sitting back in the tub, you pulled your knees to your chest. Well, no chance for your great escape now. Sungchan climbed into the dry tub with you, facing you. He didnât fit great in the small space, all gangly limbs, and your knees bumped into each other. But he sat there with you quietly.
âIâve got a migraine coming on, I had to get somewhere quiet and dark and take my meds.â You told him bluntly, opting to just take the plunge. Not like you could even attempt flowery language at the moment anyway. Sure, some of your speech capabilities were coming back now that there was less sensory input, but you werenât going to be doing any soliloquies tonight.
âOh, Iâm sorry,â Sungchan said quietly. âDo you want me to leave?â
âNo, no. I actually- I actually donât want to be alone right now, if thatâs okay?â You surprised yourself with your answer.
âYeah, of course.â He said reassuringly. âDo you want me to take you home?â
âI might not have drank but you did. Iâll be okay here, for the most part. Iâm the one who came knowing that I get sound-induced migraines.â
âWait, really?â
âMm, yeah,â you pinched the bridge of your nose to alleviate some of the tension there for a moment. âRemember when I said Chenle pushes me out of my comfort zone in a good way most of the time?â
âRight.â
âOne of the times it wasnât... good was when he got an invite to Nu Chiâs Halloween party our freshman year, dragged me with him. And he always means the best when he does stuff like that. I hadnât made any new friends at college, meanwhile he had a bunch, including some of the pledges at Nu Chi.â
âHow he got the invite.â
âExactly.â You needed to take a pause, resting your head against the cool tile again. After a few deep breaths, you pushed on in the story. âAnyway, weâd been there for a couple hours when the loudness and the music and everything finally got to me and I got a migraine. I had my go bag on me, and went to what I thought was an empty corner of the house to take my meds. But a couple other people saw me knocking back pills and wanted some. My head was hurting like a bitch, and they were trying to grab them from me and anyway, I spilled a bunch of them all over the floor, drenched myself with my water and their beer, and elbowed a dude and gave him a bloody nose.â
âHoly shit,â Sungchan breathed out.
You opened and closed your jaw a couple times to try to relax the muscles and joints there. âI couldnât even open my eyes because my head hurt so bad. Chenle told me later I was screaming and Taeyong wanted to call an ambulance until Chenle ran up and explained what was happening. They put me, Chenle, and Jenoâturns out thatâs whose nose I brokeâin Taeyongâs room in the house for the rest of the night. Neither Chenle nor I were in any shape to drive ourselves home.â
âWait is that how you met Jeno?â
âYeah, and it turns out he wasnât one of the ones trying to take my pills, he was trying to break up me and the people who were. Collateral damage.â You recounted it regrettably.
âWhen Jeno found out Iâd invited you, he told me heâd keep his room clear in case we needed it. I thought he was just being a dick.â Sungchan sounded like he was having an epiphany. âY/N, do you think youâll be okay to move up a floor?â
The bass was thudding through the door, and you knew that if you stayed here when you transitioned into the throes of however bad this migraine fully got, youâd regret it. Grabbing your earplugs from your bag and putting them in, you gave him a thumbs-up and attempted a smile, but you knew it came out like more of a wince.
Sungchan kept you between him and the wall as you moved through the Nu Chi house, casting as much of a shadow against the garishly flashing lights as possible. Even through your earplugs, the music was raucous, people were practically screaming at each other, and you gripped one hand around his arm and the other onto his suit jacket to keep yourself balanced and to not lose him. When you got to the stairs, he fully wrapped an arm around your shoulders to jerk you out of the way of a drunk Nu Chi member stumbling his way down, and kept it there the rest of the way up. The noise was squeezing around your head like a vice, and you shut your eyes tight at the top of the stairs for a moment in an attempt to clear your head.
Sungchanâs voice was right beside your ear, muffled through the earplugs, âWeâre almost there, Y/N, Iâm sorry, come on.â
You were vaguely aware of the man with you feeling around on the top of a doorway before jiggling a doorhandle, and finally you were in a blissfully dark and quiet-ish room. Your head definitely hurt more than before, and you practically collapsed onto the bed.
âHe was kind enough to stuff all his dirty clothes in the closet,â Sungchan muttered.
You managed a strangled chuckle at that, dropping your go bag onto the floor beside the bed. A moment of silence passed, and you could hear Sungchan awkwardly shifting his weight between his feet at the doorway.
âSungchan,â you said his name, then patted the empty half of the bed beside you. âYou can sit. I know Jeno doesnât have any other furniture in here besides the bed and his PlayStation.â
âHe probably only has a bedframe because it came with the room.â
You snickered, but were cut off by the squeezing pain turning to a sharp, stabbing pain behind your left eye, âOh fuck!â
âY/N?!â Sungchan was right beside you, and you felt the bed dip as he sat down beside you.
âSorry, sorry, it feels like Iâm getting an icepick lobotomy! Jesus!â You hissed, cupping a hand over your left eye as if that were actually going to do anything. âItâs normal, Iâm fine. Relatively.â
âOkayâŚâ
Still clutching your eye, you rolled onto your side and brought your knees up towards your chest. You blindly fumbled towards the head of the bed, and felt a pillow being pressed into your hand.
âThanks,â you muttered, tucking it under your head.
âDo you want to lay under the covers?â Sungchan whispered.
âDo they smell like Jenoâs washed them in the past week?â
He laughed breathily at that, âMiraculously they do. I think he was planning on getting laid.â
âHe gave up getting his dick wet for me. Jenoâs a real one,â you mumbled, feeling the covers that you were laying on top of being pulled out from under you.
Sungchan gently brought the sheet up to your shoulder, then a blanket too. The stabbing pain behind your eye was still there, and your stomach filled with dread as you acknowledged that your acute medication wasnât going to be working this time. This was going to be a full-blown migraine, and who knew how many hours it would last.
âThank you.â
âIs there anything else you need? Water?â
âNo. Just uh, let me know when two hours have passed, I can take another dose of my meds that arenât fucking working then.â
âOh. Will do.â
You opened and closed your jaw, letting out a distinct groan. Another few minutes passed. Or, you think it was a few minutes, you couldnât really check your phone for the time.
âSungchan.â
âYes?â
âYou donât have to stay. Iâm sure the party is a lot more fun.â
âDo you want me to go?â
ââŚNo.â
âI want to stay. Iâm not going to have any fun out there knowing that youâre in all in this pain all alone in here.â
You squinted your right eye open, and had to crane your neck to look up at where Sungchan was sitting against the headboard. He had taken his suit jacket and shoes off at some point, now just in a rumpled dress shirt, loosened tie, slacks, and socks. He held your eye contact steadily, head tilted slightly and a frown across his handsome features.
Reaching your unoccupied hand up towards him, he watched it with confusion.
âWhat do you need? Your bag?â
âNo.â You grabbed his hand, giving it a light squeeze.
âOh.â An adorably radiant grin was on his face now instead.
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 1
Sungchan knew youâd finally fallen asleep when you stopped muttering swears and curses under your breath, the pained expression fell from your face, and your hand that was holding his went limp. He could still hear the party going strong outside of Jenoâs bedroom, and a glance at his phone told him it was just after one in the morning. He had no want to rejoin his friends, to leave you.
He took his tie all the way off, thinking to himself that if you were feeling better, you might have joked that he looked like Mulder the off-duty funeral director. And he wouldâve laughed and watched the cute way the corners of your mouth quirked up when you said something that you thought was funny. He set the tie down with his shoes on the floor beside the bed.
Careful to stay on top of the covers that you were sleeping under, Sungchan shifted until he was laying down too, pillow tucked under his head, facing you on his side, hand still holding yours.
Like usual, you didnât remember falling asleep, but you did remember shutting your eyes tight and wishing really hard for your head to stop hurting so bad. Or to die. Whichever the Universe felt like granting. And judging by the fact that you were now waking up without a migraine, it seemed like the former.
The first thing you were aware of before you even opened your eyes was that you felt like shit. Sure, your head didnât hurt anymore, but jeez the morning after wasnât much better. Tired, achy, and your brain felt like TV static.
The second thing that you were aware of, after opening your eyes, was Jung Sungchan just a few inches from your face. He was still asleep, soft bursts of air passing from his lips and mussing up strands of hair that were falling into his eyes. You didnât quite have enough in you to coo over his bedhead, but you could give half of a fond smile as you pushed yourself into a sitting position, running a sleepy hand over one side of your face.
Only one of your earplugs was still in your ears, and you looked around the bedsheets for the other one. After securing it, you scooted over to the edge of the bed to put the plugs back into your carrying case before rolling back over and pulling the blankets over you again. You deserved this, honestly. Sleeping in late, a comfy bed, warm blankets, a cute boy next to you, nothing toâ
Your happy thoughts were ripped away by the sound of a loud alarm. You shot up, scrambling towards your tote bag to grab your phone from the depths of it and turn your goddamn alarm off before it woke Sungchan up.
âMm?â
Too late.
Sheepishly, you looked over at him, âSorryâŚâ
ââS okay,â he mumbled, flopping onto his back and rubbing a hand over his face. âHowâs your head?â
âBetter. A lot better, thanks.â
âGood, good.â He yawned, âMorning, by the way.â
âGood morning.â
His eyes were closed as he laid there, a hand resting on his chest, and you werenât sure if he had fallen back asleep.
ââŚSungchan?â
âHm?â
Taking his inquisitive tone as a sign that you could keep talking, you said, âUhm, that was the first time Iâve had anybody around for one my migraines in a while. Iâm sorry if it was⌠well, I donât know. What was it like for you?â
He opened his eyes, rolling onto his side to face you and tucking a hand under his cheek, âOh, uh, I mean, I wasnât quite worried, since you seemed like you knew exactly what was happening, you know? But still, I⌠I was wishing there was more I could do. It was weird knowing that you were in pain but not being able to see where it hurt.â
âI shouldâve figured that might be upsetting. Sorry about all that.â
âNo, Y/N, it's okay. I get it, you just wanted someone with you when you were hurting.â
âYeah, yeah, I did,â you nodded, curling one of your hands into a fist in your lap, digging your nails into your palm in an attempt to not cry at how easily he saw right into you.
âI was more than happy to sit with you.â
âIâve had these stupid migraines for years now. Tried every treatment in the book, been on every regiment. And my friends and family, they donât treat me like Iâm made of glass or anything, which Iâm grateful for. Everyone in my life knows Iâm a pro at it all: Iâve got my go bag, all my meds, my alarms, Iâve been going to doctorsâ appointments, testing, everything for years. But like... they still hurt. The migraines still fucking hurt.â Your voice cracked over the word, and your nails dug in deeper. âAnd I just⌠think they forget that part sometimes? I donât know, I guess they hear the word âmigraineâ thousands of times over the years it sort of loses its meaning. They kind of forget what one actually is. But it hurts Sungchan, my head just hurts for hours or even days, sometimes so bad I throw up from the pain. I canât do anything but lay in bed in the dark and cry. Last nightâs wasnât that bad but still⌠thank you. I needed for it to all be real to somebody.â
Sungchan pushed up into a sitting position, and through your watery vision you could see that his brows were furrowed. You followed where his gaze was locked, and watched as he gently unfurled your fingers. You used the thumb of your other hand to rub at the divots that your nails had left in your skin.
âThe migraines are why Iâve been all weird, by the way.â You added, trying to ignore the strain in your voice.
âWhat?â
âWhen you wanted to buy me a drink after the game. One of my migraine medications that I take, I canât drink alcohol on it. It just felt like a weird and long explanation to have to give in the moment. And when you asked if I wanted to dance with you last night, the music wouldâve made the migraine come on quicker than it did, but explaining it to you then, again it felt like it wouldâve ruined the moment even more.â
âOh⌠donât worry about it.â
There was still one big thing you hadnât smoothed over. But it looks like youâre on man-shaped friend duties tonight, Sungchan. Stupid, stupid.
Pushing through the discomfort prickling at your skin, you asked, âSungchan, do you want to go on a date?â
âAâŚâ He looked you dead in the eyes for a moment, mouth parted, and blinked once, twice before he was absolutely beaming at you. âYeah, yes, I do.â
âOkay.â You couldnât help but giggle, nerves buzzing through you as your chest was airy and you were lightheaded for two reasons now, âOkay, good.â
âIs it bad for me to say that Iâm relieved? That you have migraines? Well, not that you have them, because obviously they hurt, but like, that this is what it was? I seriously thought I was being stupid, like mixed signals or something. Like, you came to my game but then you didnât want to go to the bar.â He ticked the instances off on the fingers of one hand.
âMedication,â you nodded.
âRight. Then you let me walk you home after, but you called me your friend.â
âThat was just plain stupidity,â you admitted with a groan at having to relive that moment again.
âAnd you said yes to coming to the party, but then you didnât want to dance with me,â Sungchan had now run out of fingers and dropped his hand back down to the bed.
âThe music...â
âAnd when you disappeared, I thought you left because you didnât like me. I just⌠felt like I was going crazy.â
âItâs not awful of you to be relieved about this. Iâm sorry, Sungchan. Migraines arenât conducive to romance, apparently.â
âOh, bullshit.â He pushed back immediately. âTheyâre just not conducive to drinking and loud parties. Thatâs not romance.â
âAlright, fair. Iâm wont to agree with you.â
âAnd you need to stop apologizing for your migraines. Itâs not like youâre doing it on purpose.â
âWell, I did come to a loud ass party knowing Iâd probably get a sound-induced migraine.â
âOkay, aside from thatâ which, Iâm very flattered by and will never ever ask you to do anything like this ever again.â
âOkay.â
Suddenly the door handle rattled, then there was a banging on the door. âHey! Are you two done in there?â Jeno yelled through the wood. âYou better not be having post-headache sex on my bed!â
âSeems like he didnât get laid last night,â Sungchan muttered.
âIf he keeps up that pounding Iâm going to get a rebound headache and heâs going to wake the entire house, please let him in,â you groaned.
The boy with you quickly moved to do so, unlocking the door and throwing it open to whisper aggressively, âJeno! Shut the fuck up! People are still sleeping!â
âOh. Youâre dressed.â
You rolled your eyes at your friend, âI donât know what you think a migraine is like, but getting my back blown out is pretty far down on my to-do list for immediately after.â
âHow are you feeling?â Jeno was nice enough to ask as he rooted through his closet.
âLike shit. While you guys nurse actual hangovers today, I get to nurse a migraine hangover. Same awful morning after without the fun night before.â
âThat sucks.â He secured a rumpled shirt and inside out pair of sweatpants. âI told Chenle you were crashing here last night, by the way. He didnât just abandon you for shits and giggles.â
âOh, thanks. He was sober enough to drive?â
âMark had a Breathalyzer and everything.â
âWowâŚâ
âNow I recommend you two get the fuck out before everyone else wakes up and sees you sneaking out together.â
âRight,â Sungchan nodded, sitting on the edge of Jenoâs bed and pulling his shoes on.
You quickly gathered your shoes, phone, witch hat, and go bag before giving Jeno a short goodbye and following Sungchan out. The Nu Chi house was thankfully quiet as everyone was still asleep in their own rooms, save for the partygoers and brothers who had passed out on the couches in the living rooms. Once you were on the front porch, the two of you dared to speak again.
âIâll drive you home, Y/N,â Sungchan offered.
âMhm, thanks,â you squinted against the bright sunlight, reaching into your bag for the spare pair of sunglasses you kept in there.
He gestured to your bag. âSo what all do you have in there?â
âEverything but the kitchen sink.â You sighed, finally securing your sunglasses and putting them on. They did help, but you knew there was no way you were going to avoid a rebound headache today. Realizing that Sungchan might actually have been genuinely asking and wasnât just trying to be polite, you decided to give him a sincere answer as well. âUh, my meds, my blood pressure cuff, earplugs, sunglasses, some snacks, other miscellaneous non-migraine related stuff like an umbrella.â
âBlood pressure cuff?â He stopped in front of a sedan parked on the street, and opened the passenger door for you.
Even through your unpleasant migraine hangover, you couldnât help the giddy smile that crossed your lips at the gesture.
Once the both of you were in the car, you explained, âOne of my medications affects my blood pressure. I have to check it every few hours, or whenever I feel kind of funny. Thatâs partially what the snacks are for too.â
âReally?â He started the car and pulled out into the street.
âMost of my meds I need to take with food, so keeping snacks on me makes it easy. The sweet ones are in case my blood sugar drops though.â
âBlood sugar too?â
âA different medication affects my appetite, secondary effect is on my blood sugar. Fun fact, itâs the same one that keeps me from drinking alcohol. Anyway, if youâre ever craving something sweet, I keep gummies and stuff on me usually.â
Sungchan let out a deep breath. âWowâŚâ
âOh and water.â You perked up as you realized youâd forgotten something, and reached in for said item. âI've got my water bottle. I need water to take my meds, obviously, but I also need to drink water to make sure I donât get kidney stones from my medication.â
The car had stopped at a stoplight, and he looked over at you in disbelief. âWhat the fuck.â
âHey, itâs this or be entirely unable to participate in society.â You explained. âI used to get five or six migraines a week, with really bad or mild headaches constantly in between. I couldnât do anything, they were disabling. Clearly, they still are now when I do get them, but I only get one or two a month.â
âI canât imagineâ I⌠yeahâŚâ He trailed off as the light turned green, a deep frown etching itself on his features as he clearly was trying to imagine what a huge shift in his life that would be. And was having a hard time doing so.
âPeople without chronic illnesses usually canât, until they get one,â you shrugged. âI know I couldnât imagine it either. Then I got my first migraine. Then my second, and my third. I think the âchronic illnessâ part really hit for me when I had to order my first sharps disposal bin for the monthly injections I take.â
âYouâreâŚâ
âDo not say that Iâm so strong or any live laugh love type shit right now.â
He laughed, shaking his head, âNo, no, not what I was going to say. I was just thinking⌠youâre really cool.â
âI just info-dumped about my migraines, medication, medication side effects, and treatment to you for ten minutes straight and thatâs the conclusion you came to?â You asked in disbelief as he pulled into your apartment complex, and it dawned on you just how long you had been talking about yourself for. You couldnât remember the last time youâd been that detailed with someone other than your neurologist or your mom about your condition and treatment.
Sungchan put his car in park to turn and look you in the eye. âIâm looking at the bigger picture here: Youâre a Lit major, you like Gothic fiction, youâre good at writing, youâre smart and know things like death of the author and stuff, you like Pacific Rim, youâve come to one of my games, youâre funny, and you just info-dumped to me about something personal for ten minutes. So yes, I think youâre cool. Actually, cool might be an understatement.â
âJung Sungchan, youâŚâ Your cheeks were hurting with how wide you were grinning. Whether it was the migraine hangover or truly from how warm and happy his words made you, you couldnât formulate a proper response, âCongrats, Iâm speechless.â
âI think that's good?â He laughed again. âAnyway, you told Jeno earlier that you felt like shit, so I wonât hold you up anymore. Rest well today, Y/N.â
âThanks. You too, Sungchan.â You wrapped your hand around the door handle but stopped just short of actually opening it. âOh, and uhm, I donât know if this too eager or whatever, but Iâm free tomorrow.â
His face lit up with recognition at what you were implying. âMe too. But are you going to be okay? Like, recovered?â
âYeah, Iâve got all day today to sleep it off.â
âOkay.â He grinned.
âOkay.â You repeated. âText me?â
âYes, yes. I will.â
âBye.â
âBye.â
And with that, you got out of his car, making sure to take your go bag that had been on your lap for the whole drive.
Halfway to your front door, you turned around to give Sungchan a final wave goodbye, and he waved back through the windshield. Once youâd finally disappeared into your apartment, he looked over at his now empty passenger seat. Well, not completely empty, he realized. Your witch hat was on the floor of the passenger side, youâd forgotten to grab it on your way out. He picked it up, gently setting it on the seat beside him. Heâd just give it back to you when he saw you again for your date tomorrow.
âA date,â Sungchan sighed happily, feeling his chest swell and nearly burst with joy. âA date, a date, a date.â
Putting his car in reverse, he looked through the rear window as he muttered, âSuck an egg, Donghyuck. Man-shaped friend, my ass.â
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 2
Sungchan picked you up at 7:00 p.m. on the dot for your first date. You made sure to take your nighttime meds early and silence your alarms so there was nothing to bother you that night. Migraines notwithstanding, of course. You still had to bring your go bag just in case you needed anything acute, but you didnât think twice about leaving the majority of it in the car, tucking just a couple individually packaged tablets into your pocket before accepting Sungchanâs hand that he offered to you after opening your car door for you.
Walking into the movie theater with him after he bought your tickets, you were about to start off in the direction that the usher had pointed you when your date stopped you.
âYou want anything from concessions?â He nodded towards the long line of other couples, families, and groups of friends.
âIâm not big on overpriced popcorn,â you shook your head with a smile. âThanks though, Sungchan.â
âYou sure you donât want a soda or candy? Howâs your, you know, blood sugar?â
It was then that your polite smile morphed into a genuine, touched one, and you squeezed his hand that you were holding. âIâm doing good, promise. I made sure I ate before. But thank you, seriously. Youâre really sweet.â
âOkay, but let me know if you need anything.â
âSungchan, can I tell you something?â You ducked your head in towards him conspiratorially.
âYeah, of course.â
You gently shook one side of your jacket, and a muffled rattling sound came from within it. âI snuck a bag of Skittles in,â you whispered to him.
He chuckled as you dropped your jacket back down and smoothed over the inside pocket inconspicuously. âTwo steps ahead of me.â
âI just didnât want to ruin our date if I got low.â
âItâs very thoughtful, thanks.â
âSo are you!â You tried to reassure him.
The two of you entered where your movie would be showing, and picked your seats. The previews had already started, so you had to drop your voices to whispers.
âBut youâre going to be good with the bright light, and the sounds?â Sungchan double-checked with you.
You nodded insistently. âYouâre the one who made me compile a list of stuff that I could do, remember?â
âI know, but you also came to that party knowing that it was like 100% guaranteed to give you a migraine. So I think Iâve earned some skepticism.â
âOkay, fine. You got me there,â you sighed. âBut I get nothing out of suggesting things that will give me migraines other than cutting our time together short. Which I donât want to do.â
Sungchan shifted in his seat, and when you looked over at him, you could see a small, bashful smile on his face. âGood. Glad we got that cleared up.â
The previews finally ended, and the entire theater quieted down, including you two. You settled in to watch the movie, scooting closer to your date, looping your arm under his, and resting your head on his shoulder. He hesitantly leaned his head against the top of yours.
As you left the theater hand-in-hand with Sungchan, you two were deep in discussion about the movie, and in the back of your mind, you realized with a panic that you had far too much that you wanted to say that wouldnât fit into the short ride back to your apartment. Not to mention that you didnât want your night with him to be over yet.
âHey.â You called for his attention as he opened up the passenger door for you, stopping before you got in the car.
âHey.â He offered you a lopsided grin, still holding the door open with one hand and now caging you between him and the open car door.
If the parking lot wasnât literally swarming with other movie theater patrons, you swore you wouldâve grabbed him and kissed him stupid right there and then. But a family of five walked by at that moment, so you swallowed down the itch.
âWe should go somewhere,â you suggested, trying to sound equal parts nonchalant and hopeful. Which was a weird combination, you knew, but you didnât want to come across as too desperate. Again, a ridiculous sentiment, but it was engrained in you with social conditioning or whatever.
âWe just went somewhere,â he pointed out knowingly, and you swore that was a smirk that you spotted on his face in the shadowy lighting afforded by the parking lot streetlamps.
âWe should go somewhere else.â
âLike where?â
âI donât know,â you shrugged, despite how desperate you felt on the inside to just be around him right now. âSomewhere. Are you hungry?â
âAre you?â
You pressed your lips together in a thin line. âWellââ
Finally, he smiled, nodded towards the car, and said, âI know somewhere. Get in.â
Sungchan closed the car door after you before walking around to get into the driverâs side. He didnât offer you any information or clues as to your new destination as he left the movie theater parking lot. The hockey captain drove with one hand casually holding the bottom of the steering wheel, the other tapping out the rhythm of whatever song was playing over his speakers onto his thigh. You dragged your eyes from his fingers to the passing scenery.
Honestly, you couldnât remember the last time youâd been on a good date. Even the last date youâd been on was a distant memory. Lunch with some CompSci major your freshman year, a blind date set up by a mutual acquaintance. He just talked over you the whole time. You didnât deign to go on a second date with him. It wasnât that your migraines made it impossible to dateâthey hadnât even come up at the date with the CompSci major (mostly because he didnât give you the opportunity to say much of anything)âbut you knew that it was always going to be something to get out of way. Either up front or at some point down the line. And it was exhausting enough for you to have to completely restructure your life around them, how could you really ask some stranger who barely knew youâor didnât at allâto consider doing the same? It felt like it just made your dating pool even narrower, an added standard that you didnât even get to pick.
But with Sungchan, it had happened in the worst way possible, you disappeared on him because you were having a migraine, without even having told him anything about them. And not only was he more than chill about it, he stayed with you through your entire full-blown migraine. Listened to you explain every ailment, medication, and medication complication that you have, and just tucked all that information away to keep track of your wellbeing. Taken it all in stride and made it look easy. And that was before your first date. It almost made you angry. Not at Sungchan, but at the fact that other people had ever made you feel like an inconvenience.
The car slowing to a stop knocked you from your thoughts, and you didnât even realize that you had been silent for the entire trip. Sungchan didnât seem to mind, though, as he hadnât tried to start a conversation either. He put the car in park as you looked around, trying to gauge where exactly you were.
âAre we⌠on campus?â You turned to him with an eyebrow raised.
He was already out of the car, though, jogging around to get your door. As he opened it for you, he tilted his head innocently, âWhat was that?â
You stepped out, taking in your surroundings. âAre we at a campus parking garage?â
âSpecifically, the top floor of Evergreen Parking Garage,â Sungchan clarified, rolling the passenger window down.
Evergreen Parking Garage was a commuter-only parking facility, meaning that this level was empty this late at night. It was also located at the furthest reaches of the north block of campus, which bordered a nature preserve, meaning that while on one side was your university campus, the other side was entirely evergreen trees. Hence the name.
Sungchan had parked on the side that faced the nature preserve, and as you turned to question your date as to why exactly heâd taken you to campus, you were instead greeted by the sight of him hunched over to lean into the open passenger window, seemingly messing around with the audio controls of the still-running car.
You tilted your head to one side, then the other as you just watched him struggle for a moment before finally speaking up. âWhat uh⌠What are you doing, Sungchan?â
He banged his head on the frame of the window as he went to stand back up. âFuck! OwâŚâ
Covering your hand to muffle your giggles, you waited patiently for him to turn around and answer you.
Still clutching his head, he said with a sheepish smile, âJust give me a sec, sorry. Technical difficulties.â
And with that, he opened the door to properly sit in the passenger seat, futzing with his phone and the car radio. Finally, there was music playing from the speakers as opposed to the radio station ads, and he turned the volume up before getting back out of the car and shutting the door. With both the driver and passenger windows rolled down, you could hear the song clearly.
âI was originally going to try to take you to this lookout, but there were other cars there, so I had to keep driving by it and oh my god why did I tell you thatââ He scratched the back of his head nervously. âAnyway, since we didnât get to dance at the partyâŚâ
Sungchan offered his hand out to you, and you set yours atop it. The upbeat song that had been playing finished just then, switching to a much slower, softer one. You stepped in closer, smiling up at him as you looped your free arm around his neck. His other hand settled on your hip, and he slowly started leading you in an uncertain sway of sorts.
You let out an airy chuckle, âWas this really the kind of dancing you had in mind for a frat party?â
âWould you believe me if I said yes?â He questioned.
âWould you believe me if I said that I believed you?â
âNo.â
You snickered. âSmart man.â
âBut this is good, too. Better, even.â
âReally?â
âYeah, thereâs not a bunch of other drunk, sweaty, loud people everywhere knocking into us. I donât have to worry about somebody spilling beer on me, or other guys looking at you, or the DJ picking something bad. Or you getting a migraine.â Sungchan slotted his fingers with yours. âI just get to think about you.â
You rested your head on his chest, eyes zoning out on your linked hands. It was his right hand, so his pinky finger couldnât quite fold down along with the others. âYeah. I like this, too,â you agreed softly.
A cool breeze gently blew across your cheek that wasnât resting on Sungchanâs chest, and you were glad for the warmth of him pressed against your front. Your feet awkwardly bumped into each other, making you chuckle, and he apologized with a nervous laugh.
âItâs okay,â you reassured him. âI havenât exactly taken any ballroom dancing classes. Have you?â
âWell...â
You jerked your head back to look him in the face. âYou have?â
âYou know how Greek life has those formals every year?â
âYouâre not in a frat...â
âNo, Iâm not. But freshman year, Nu Chi had pitched in for this dance teacher andâ God, I canât believe Iâm telling you this,â Sungchan said regretfully, tilting his head back to look up in embarrassment.
âSungchan, come on!â You pleaded.
âHendery swore me to secrecy...â
âWell now you have to tell me!â
âHenderyâs date couldnât make it to one of the lessons, so he asked me to fill in for her...â
Your jaw dropped with delight, âWas his date an Amazon? How did that work? He couldnât have possibly dipped you! Or twirled you!â
âShe was taller than him, to be fair,â he admitted. âNothing that couldnât be adjusted for with some thick soles, but, you know...â
âYouâre such a good friend, Sungchan,â you said through a couple of giggles, imagining the two of them attempting the aforementioned twirls and dips.
He dropped his head, shaking it. âRight, thanks.â
âSo I guess I should be leading then, hm?â You teased, your feet bumping his again in that moment.
âI feel like youâd lead us over the edge of this parking deck, Y/N,â he joked.
Before you could make a retort, he stepped back from you to gently twirl you around by the hand, and a cross between a surprised yelp and a laugh tumbled from your mouth. As he brought you back into his chest, you could barely think over the joyful buzzing in your head that resonated out to every square inch of your body.
âOkay, okay, I guess you can lead,â you surrendered, looping your arm back around his neck again.
After some time, the songs had picked up tempo again, but you and Sungchan were long past actually dancing to them. You were more so just holding each other, leisurely swaying, and from here you got to listen to the sounds of his breathing. Heâd taken to rubbing absentminded circles into your hip with his thumb, and the fingers of your arm that was around his neck had dipped below the material of his collar, resting on his bare skin.
âSungchan?â You murmured.
âYes?â He responded, his voice rumbling right under your ear.
âThank you for not making me do this in front of a bunch of other cars at the other lookout.â
He let out a couple quiet laughs, his chest shaking with each. âYouâre welcome. I figured all of the teens making out in their cars also didnât want to watch us do this either.â
You mock gasped, pretending to sound scandalized, âYou were going to take me to a loverâs lookout? On the first date? Jung SungchanâŚâ
âWho are you, my grandma? Nobody calls it that anymore.â He pinched your side. âAnd only because itâs actually got a great view over the city andââ
âIâm kidding, Sungchan.â You pinched him back, lightly, on the nape of the neck. âBesides, I wouldnât have been opposed to a trip to a loverâs lookout with you anywayâŚâ
You heard the breath hitch in his throat, then Sungchan swallowed and inhaled through his nose, before he finally spoke, âReally?â
His grip on your hip tightened, sending a bolt of electricity along your skin out from the contact point. You brought your head out of his chest and used your arm around his neck to draw him in even closer.
âReally,â you echoed, blatantly staring at his lips now that they were centimeters away from yours. âAnd it looks like weâve got our own right here.â
Then Sungchan was using his hold on your hip to push you back step by step until your back was against the side of his car. Your own arm around his neck kept him anchored to you as he stood hovering over you, blotting out any light that wouldâve come from the light post above you. Your noses were almost touching, your breaths mingling in the negligible space between your mouths. You were looking at Sungchanâs eyes now, usually a warm, deep brown, now all inky blackness in the dark of night, and staring down at your own mouth. Your tongue instinctually darted out to wet your lips, and that seemed to be the final straw.
His mouth on yours was desperate, but not desperate to get laid, like your previous loverâs lookout banter might imply. Like he was just desperate for you. He stole kiss after kiss from your lips, but never forced his tongue into your mouth, nor moved his hands anywhere else. Despite leaning more and more of his weight forward onto you, utterly pinning you to the car, he kept his bruising grip on your hip and never let go of your hand.
You parted your mouth with a bedraggled gasp of his name, and he finally took this as an invite to slip his tongue into the mix. You shifted to rest the hand that was laced with his above your head, on the roof of the sedan, giving his hand a squeeze. He squeezed your hand back.
Turning your head and breaking the kiss, you hoped heâd get the idea as you continued laying there half-spread out under him. He did, thankfully, kissing from the corner of your mouth across your cheek and down your jaw and neck.
âSungâŚchanâŚâ You breathed out his name, stroking the back of his head with your free hand as his lips latched onto a spot at the base of your neck.
Trailing your hand down further, you snuck it up under the hem of his shirt, feeling over the expanse of his chest and stomach. Oh fuck yeah, hockey players. You pulled the article of clothing up towards his head insistently, and he detached from your neck for the two of you to jointly strip him of it. Oh fuck yeah, hockey players. You truly didnât know if he looked or felt better, but you couldnât ogle him for long, because he was back on top of you as soon as heâd thrown the shirt into the front seat via the open passenger window beside you. His lips were so warm on yours, his skin even hotter under your touch now as you unabashedly felt up every inch of it and the muscles underneath.
But soon that wasnât enough either, and you were fumbling at his pants button. He groaned into your mouth, the sound vibrating down into your own chest, as his hand snapped around your wrist.
âAhhâŚâ He hissed regretfully.
âWhat?â You looked up at him with wide eyes.
âI canât get my dick out in public.â
You glanced at the car behind you, with its tinted windows, then back at Sungchan. He met your eyes, then shrugged. âThatâll work.â
It was a mad scramble to get the door to the backseat open, so much so that you accidentally smacked Sungchan in the leg with said door. After lots of apologies through giggles, both of you were in the backseat with the doors closed and locked. Sungchan had the task of awkwardly reaching forward over the console to roll the windows back up first, during which you made a couple observations about his backseat, which you hadnât seen much of before. His practice bag for hockey was back hereâwhich was different than his gear bag, as youâd already been told. The gear bag actually had his equipment that he needed to play with like mouth guards, sticks, and all of that, while his practice bag had more personal stuff like changes of clothes or hygiene products. You figured his gear bag was either in the trunk or at the rink, as he didnât always need to carry it back and forth with him. But other than the practice bag and a couple of reusable grocery bags on the floor, the backseat was pretty clean. You were genuinely impressed, especially because he made it sound like he tended to chauffeur a lot of his teammates/roommates around frequently.
Sungchan eventually reentered the backseat fully, focusing a content, closed-lip smile on you. Youâd taken it upon yourself to lay down on the seat, your knees propped up by your feet. He settled in to kneel on the same cushion as your feet, but just rested an arm on your knees and his chin atop that forearm to gaze down at you, still smiling.
âWhat? Whatâs that smile for?â You asked, starting to feel a bit self-conscious.
âNothing, I justââ He reached both his hands out towards you, fingers spread, and you got the idea, linking yours with them. âI hope you donât get the wrong idea. I want this to be a real thing, Y/N. Like, I donât just want to sleep with you. I donât even do this kind of stuffâcar sex on the first date in a campus parking garage?âliterally ever. Iâm just kinda crazy about you. I know for most people usually itâs the opposite; you know, they save it for later for really important people. They try to make it special, but I know itâll be special just because itâs you.â
âSungchan... Iâve never done something like this either,â you admitted, squeezing both of his hands tight. âI think Iâm just kinda crazy about you too.â
âOkay. Cool.â He beamed at you, and you felt your insides turn to mush in that moment. You didnât think theyâd ever un-mush again.
âNow can you please take my clothes off before I spontaneously combust?â
âFuck. Yeah.â He nodded, immediately turning serious as his brow furrowed and he leaned forward to lock his lips with yours again, propping himself up with one hand to hover above you.
You let your knees fall apart to give him room to settle in between your legs. He pulled at your jacket first, and you sat up to help yank it off, dropping it to the floor with his practice bag. With you no longer laying down, he could use two hands to get the next part, your top. His fingertips skimmed along your skin as he grabbed the hem. You broke the kiss so he could start pulling the clothing up your bodyâ
A loud knock against the driverâs side window quite literally made you scream, and Sungchan jerked up and hit his head once again, this time on the roof of the car. You tugged your shirt back down to cover you, ducking to lay flat on the seat as Sungchan looked at you with panic in his eyes.
Another knock came at the window, this time accompanied by a manâs voice, âCampus security! Roll the window down or Iâm going to ask you to turn the car off and step out!â
âJust a second!â Sungchan yelled back, a noticeable crack in his voice. He had a difficult time maneuvering his lanky body over the console fully into the driverâs seat again.
âNow!â The man called out again. âThree! Two!â
Sungchan didnât have time to put on his shirt before âone,â and he rushed to roll the window down. A flashlight was immediately shone into the car, and you didnât doubt your own visibility to the security officer. You were remaining laying down for your own mental wellbeing at this point. You didnât think that you could deal with looking this man in the eye right now.
You didnât know if it was wisdom or embarrassment that kept your date from saying anything, but he thankfully didnât speak until spoken to, not offering up any incriminating information. After five entire seconds of silence, the officer let out an audible sigh.
âNo overnight parking in this garage,â he said, his tone making it very clear that he knew that was not what was going on. âIâll be back in five minutes and if youâre still here, youâre getting a ticket.â
âYes, sir,â Sungchan replied.
âIâm sure that the captain of our hockey team wouldnât want to get put on probation at the beginning of the season.â
âN-No, sir.â His voice cracked again.
The security officer grunted, but said nothing more. You heard Sungchan roll the window back up, then the sound of another car driving away. Slowly, Sungchan turned around to look at you over the console with wide, horrified eyes.
âHe knew who I wasâŚâ He whispered. âThat was the most terrifying 45 seconds of my life.â
âYouâre famous, Sungchan,â you teased, sitting up in the backseat now that the coast was clear.
âYeah, and fame has got so many perks so far.â
âAlmost got into your first scandal already.â You clicked your tongue disapprovingly. âCaught with a girl in your backseat. What will the fans say?â
âConsidering my fans are all frat bros, probably something along the lines of wolf whistles and incoherent, congratulatory lewd jeering.â
You couldnât help but laugh, able to picture that perfectly considering youâd already gotten a taste at the first home game youâd gone to. âSounds about right.â
âAnyway, I should take you home before that guy comes back.â
âGood idea.â You slipped your jacket back on.
âAre you going to come up here or am I your chauffeur?â
âI suppose Iâll sit up there with you,â you sighed, opening the backseat to get out and into the front normally since there was no security man around.
Back in the passenger seat, you handed Sungchanâs shirt back to him, âHere, have some decency. Youâre the captain of the hockey team, you know.â
âIâm sorry, who was going to spontaneously combust if we didnât get naked in the next 0.2 seconds?â He scoffed, pulling his top back on.
âI donât recall.â
âSure.â
âAnd whoâs still hard in their jeans right now?â
âDonât remind me, I have to drive like this,â he groaned, taking the car out of park with a shake of his head.
As Sungchan drove with one hand, the other reached over to take yours, lacing his fingers together with yours.
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 6
Just a few days later, and you were at the rink again, eagerly watching the hockey game in front of you. Chenle was beside you, continuing his constant sports commentary on every play that happened. You still mostly tuned it out, but you were pretty sure you at least understood most of the basic rules that Taeyong had explained to you before. You kept your eyes on Sungchan, cheering him on along with the other various Nu Chi brothers around you and other fans in the stands. It wasnât as full of a house as it had been for the first home game, but you were perfectly content to have a slightly quieter environment.
Sungchan happened to skate by your section as everyone was resetting their positions, giving you a wave through the clear barrier. You gave him a slightly bashful but nevertheless bright grin as you waved back.
âSo are you two like... dating now?â Hendery asked from your other side, leaned forward with both of his elbows on his knees as he watched the game. He looked back at you over his shoulder with a shit-eating grin, though, one that made you roll your eyes.
âI donât know. Weâve been on a date. I mean, there was the Halloween party, but I got a migraine so I donât think that really counts, soâ I donât have to explain myself to you!â You scowled at him, shoving him away by his shoulder.
He laughed as he let himself get jostled around in his seat from the push, holding his hands up in surrender. âJust curious. Unlike your bestie over there, I think you two are adorable.â
âWhat?â You looked over at Chenle, who Hendery had pointed at.
Chenle had apparently been listening enough to be able to jump in to defend himself. âItâs not what it sounds like. I think you two are great, promise.â
You turned back to your other friend. âThen what the hell are you talking about, Hendery?â
âHe just doesnât want to lose,â the Nu Chi member explained. âI pegged Sungchanâs huge crush on you on day 1 of Dr. Sonâs class. Once the Phanta Phour stuff started, I knew that boy had no chance. Chenle just didnât think youâd ever... hold on, howâd he put it... be into uh, âNeanderthal frat-bro-in-law types.ââ
âI was maybe a bit tipsy...â Chenle added in.
âSo you made a bet on if Sungchan and I would get together? In four whole years?â You looked from left to right between them.
âLoser has to buy winner a 12-pack,â Hendery confirmed with that same grin. âWhen Phantasmagorical Phriday ended this year, I really thought Iâd lost. But then you turned up at the game last week and I figured Sungchan just might score himself a buzzer beater.â
âYou two need to get better hobbies,â you declared with a snort.
âThis so counts as sudden-death OT, but whatever,â Chenle scoffed under his breath.
You smacked him across the chest. âAnd donât call my dating life âsudden deathâ either.â
âHey.â He said softly, grabbing your arm, and you turned your head to meet his gaze. âI really was worried about you going to the Halloween party with your head. I swear.â
âI know, LeLe,â you nodded, giving him a reassuring smile. âYou did some great wingmanning once we got there.â
The brief flash of sincerity you got from your best friend was over as quick as it had come, as you heard the crash of helmets on the ice, and both your focuses were drawn back to the game. Two players had collided into each other and the clear barrier right in front of your faces. You grimaced sympathetically as you tried to identify the player from your team. 23â Jeno, ah, heâd be alright. And you were right, he took off almost immediately as the other guy was left behind still dazed.
At the end of the game, with the buzz of another win in your veins and the anticipation of seeing Sungchan thrumming along your skin, you bounced on your heels as you waited in the lobby. You weren't paying attention to the ecstatic, dramatic recollections that Chenle and the Nu Chi brothers were giving of specific plays around you, your gaze entirely focused on the locker room exit.
The very first player to leave was Sungchan, his eyes already scanning the crowd. Without a second thought, you darted over to him, ignoring the couple of whoops and whistles you two got from your friends.
Sungchan beamed down at you as he went to pull you into a hug, and you were immediately enveloped in the smell of the freshly washed clothes that youâd caught last time. This time, though, there was the distinct, crisp smell of ice rink ice under it as well, reminding you of when youâd go ice skating with friends.
âHey,â you smiled up at him as he let you go, but didnât step back very far. âYou played really good again. Iâm pretty sure. A bit more sure than I was last time.â
He was still grinning, looking down at the floor then back up at you before he responded, âThank you. And I donât really expect you to become a hockey pro or anything if all that doesnât interest you. As long as you donât expect me to remember what death of the author is.â
âThis was only my second game, have some faith in me!â You cried out indignantly. âAnd no, I donât expect you to become a full-blown literary critic either.â
âIâm sorry, Iâm sorry,â he apologized through a couple of poorly suppressed giggles. âI do believe in you. I just didnât want you to feel like you had to learn boring sports stuff for me.â
âI do want to be able to follow the basics of a game without Chenle or Taeyong annotating it for me, at least.â
âOh, yeah, you can definitely do that. Might need to come to a few more games, though...â
You nodded giddily. âJust let me know when the home games are and Iâm there.â
âYo!â A voice had called from the gaggle of guys heading towards the exit. You didnât even realize that the rest of the team had left the locker room in the time that youâd been talking to Sungchan.
While you couldnât tell who had gotten your attention, it was Donghyuck that asked, âAre you two coming or are you just going to keep making moony eyes at each other all night?â
âYeah, Sungchan, youâre our ride!â Yangyang yelled out from somewhere.
âDD!â Jeno cheered.
âIâll drive you two,â Mark offered with a shake of his head.
âShotgun!â The two of them immediately dibs-ed in unison.
âSorry, bitches, Iâm his little,â Donghyuck declared. âThat means eternal dibs on shotgun in Markâs car.â
The frat president scoffed, âYou only give a shit about that when it directly benefits you.â
âYou guys go ahead,â Sungchan cut into their bickering. âWeâre right behind you.â
After they had all filed out, he looked back down at you, a nervous smile worming across his face. âSorry about that...â
âItâs okay,â you said. âSo... you ready to go?â
The two of you had already discussed going to the after-game celebrations with the team before this. Sungchan texted you last night to check in and make sure youâd be okay with going from the loud game to a noisy bar/pool hall with a bunch of frat guys after. Youâd assured him that youâd be okay as long as you sat away from any music speakers at the bar, and heâd in turn made you promise to tell him if you needed to leave early.
However, he now halted you as you were slowly turning towards the exit. âWait, I want to try this again.â
With a sneaking suspicion of what he was about to do, you assured him, âSungchan, you donât have toââ
âLet me do this. Please.â He gave you those same eyes that had convinced you to go to a frat party in the first place, and you were squaring your shoulders back to face him, giving him a firm nod.
âOkay. Go for it.â
He asked casually, âSo, did you drive yourself?â
You had to hold back a laugh, covering your mouth to straighten your face before replying coyly, âOh, me? I walked. My apartment is close.â
âSo, the team all goes out to this bar after home games. Itâs a pretty sleazy dive bar, and I know itâs a Thursday night, but Iâd really like for you to come with me. Iâll buy you a... soda.â
âI would love to come, Sungchan,â you giggled, adjusting your purse strap.
âAwesome,â he grinned, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.
As you walked up to the passenger side of his car with him, you suddenly realized something. âWait, did you have your car last time, too?â
âMaybe?â He rubbed the back of his neck, reaching for the door handle to open it for you.
âThen why did you walk me home?â
âTo spend more time with you?â
You stole a quick kiss before ducking into the passenger seat.
Squished into one side of a booth with Sungchanâs arm around you, you chatted happily with Chenle, Ten, and Sicheng, who were sitting opposite from you. The team and cheer section were spread out between a couple booths and tables near each other, a few of them up playing pool too. You sipped on your soda between discussions about tonightâs game, upcoming games, classes, or whatever else struck you all. Currently, you were locked in a conversation with Ten about the most recent assigned reading in a class that you two shared together this semester.
âI thought that scene had a lot of great allusions back to the earlier one with her mother and the pie baking,â you gushed.
âReally?â Ten tilted his head curiously. âI was seeing it more as a continuation of the cannibalism-sex-love metaphor, since they were eating figs, you know.â
You nodded knowingly. âThatâs true. Everythingâs about sexââ
âExcept sex.â You two finished quoting your professor in unison.
âAnd then with figs, thereâs the Bible interpretation, of course,â you continued.
âAlways the Bible.â
âWe can never escape what John Milton did for Christian fanfiction, truly.â
âBut I do like the pie scene connection the more that I think about it, actually.â Ten knocked back the rest of his cocktail. âAnd, tying her mother into the cannibalism metaphor could be a fascinating angle, too.â
Your eyes widened as you were practically vibrating your seat with excitement now. âYeah, her earliest memory being of food, parental love, and harm...â
âAnyway, I need a refill.â Your friend shook his glass of ice with a smile. âBe back. Good chat as always, Y/N.â
Chenle and Sicheng scooted out of the booth to let Ten out, the former heading off towards the restrooms while the co-captain followed his roommate to the bar, leaving just you and Sungchan. You continued musing over the new connections youâd just made in the text as you turned your gaze back over to Sungchan beside you. He was already looking at you, a fond half-smile on his face.
âHi.â He said quietly.
âHi,â you replied, just as quiet.
Sungchan took a swig of his drink, then eyed yours. âYou havenât drunk any water since we get here.â
Heâd been sure to not only order your promised soda of choice, but also water, and as you now looked over at your two cups, you could tell that the water had not been touched at all while the soda was practically empty.
âOh uh, I guess I havenât.â
âDrink some.â He pushed it towards you insistently. âCanât have you getting kidney stones on my watch.â
âOkay, okay.â You acquiesced easily, switching your straw over to that glass and chugging a quarter of it in one go. âBetter?â
âMuch.â He nodded in satisfaction. âSo what were you and Ten saying about pies and sex or whatever? Sex isnât about sex?â
âOh, itâs just something one of our professors says a lot. âEverything is about sex except sex.â For lit analysis. In literature, pretty much everything is about sex. Or can be. You can turn like, anything in a piece of text into an innuendo or euphemism if you wanted to. Except for sex. Like, if a sex scene is included in a piece of literature, itâs not actually about the sex thatâs being depicted. The sex is meant to represent something else. Like politics, or social structures, or whatever other themes are present in the work. Unless youâre just reading porn. But even then, thereâs artistic merit to erotica, and plenty to be learned about the social structures at the time it was written, too.â
Sungchan hadnât blinked the entire time youâd been rambling on, and upon you finally stopping, blinked in rapid succession as he seemed to come to from a daze. âWow. Uh, interesting. Filing that away with death of the author.â
âSungchan...â You leaned in to whisper, placing a hand on the inside of his thigh, just above his knee. His leg jumped, knocking his knee into the tabletop. Your hand had narrowly avoided being smashed too, saved only by its position curled around his leg instead of directly on top. You didnât move it up or down now though, simply tapping your index finger against the loose material of his sweatpants as you giggled. âWhat are you thinking about?â
He cleared his throat a couple of times. âHow you still have three-quarters of that glass of water left to drink.â
You laughed, slumping to relax into his side and pulling your hand back up to a more casual position on top of his leg. With your other hand, you grabbed your water. âAlright, fine.â
Not too long after your water had been drained, Sungchan was driving you home. Some of your other friends had taken off as well, and you didn't put up too much of a protest when he offered. As your familiar building came into view, you suddenly remembered something.
âOh, visitorâs parking is over there. Sorry, forgot to mention before.â You pointed to a few parking spots painted with yellow lines instead of white, further away from the apartment entrances than the resident parking. âTheyâre a bit picky. Chenle got towed after like, five minutes one time.â
âGot it. Thanks.â Sungchan smoothly turned the wheel to pull into one of the open visitorâs spots.
Your reason for showing it to him was two-fold. One, to let him know you hoped heâd be coming over more often, so heâd need that information for future reference. And two, for perhaps less innocent ulterior motives tonight. Truly, your apartment complex only towed people after dark. Overnight visitors. Chenleâs five-minute tow had been a fluke.
âIâll walk you to your door,â he said with no prompting, and you had to hold in a sigh of relief.
Instead, you gave him a genuine smile. âThanks, Sungchan.â
âI donât think I thanked you for coming tonight. To the game.â He slowly meandered up the sidewalk with you, hand holding yours.
âThanks for inviting me again. I had a lot of fun.â You squeezed his hand.
Your front door loomed in the not-so-distant distance.
âUh, are you busy this weekend?â He rushed to ask. âI have Saturday morning practice, at 7:30, but itâs over at 9:00, and after that Iâm free.â
So thatâs why he had texted you at seven in the morning to congratulate you on winning Phantasmagorical Phriday.
âNo, Iâm not busy. Iâd love to do something, just pick from the list I sent you. Surprise me, hm?â
âWill do.â
You were finally on your front welcome mat, and watched his face fall as he seemed to be drawing a blank about how else to prolong your night. But you had an idea.
You didnât let an alarm or anything else possibly have the chance to interrupt you, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling his mouth down to yours. He stumbled forward at you suddenly yanking him off-balance, catching himself with one hand on your front door and the other on your doorframe. Then, he dropped a hand to the small of your back, drawing you in even closer as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss.
Disconnected just enough to murmur against his lips, you asked, âDo you want to come in?â
âPlease?â He replied with a nearly sheepish chuckle.
âSo polite,â you quipped.
You gave him one more peck before turning around to unlock your door and drag him in by the arm.
â sequel | series masterlist | blog masterlist
#sungchan x reader#riize x reader#sungchan imagines#riize imagines#jungsung#sungchan imagine#riize imagine#nct x reader#nct imagine#nct imagines#jung sungchan#i: sungchan#f: buzzer beater#s: buzzer beater#writing#text#mine#bias tag#*100#*200#*300#*400#*500#*600#*700#*800
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HOUSE CALL
Tags: Zayne x reader, fluff, domestic, beginnings of a relationship?
Warnings: mentions of blood, reader gets a wittle hurt
Synopsis: So grocery shopping went a little crazy, nothing a little house call from your primary care physician can't fix.
Author's note: hiyah! First time writing and posting a complete fic, sorry for any mistakes, and uhhhhh Zayne is my pookie, what can I say?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
The rain had gotten temperamental over the last hour, swinging from drizzle to torrential in a matter of minutes. On any other day this would have lulled you to sleep but the itch of the cuts on your ribs and the flecks of dried blood under your fingernails were a sensory nightmare.
Youâd spent the last half hour just catching your breath on your now slightly blood-stained couch, recounting the incident that left you oh so pained and disgruntled.
A wanderer attack in the middle of your grocery shopping disrupted you mid deliberation on which snack to treat yourself to, and in the flurry of dodging claws and diverting the wandererâs attention from terrified shoppers you slipped on the slick, just-mopped, floors, allowing the monster to graze you with its serrated pincers.
The pain was akin to the worst papercut youâd ever had, times a billion and as wide as a discount banana. It really hurt. And the oncoming migraine was really not ideal. The knocking in your head was becoming louder, too loud. Like, someone actually knocking on your door.
Begrudgingly you push yourself off the couch and walk, or really hobble to your front door; the source of the knocking. A confused peak through the peephole and your stomach drops, cause if thereâs one thing worse than getting hurt, itâs your primary care physician catching you getting hurt.
âHey...â You crack the door open, enough to show your face, which you hope didnât look as bad as you felt. âI wasnât expecting you hereâŚâ
Heâs sporting the usual aloof look, scanning what he can see and deducing that youâre hiding the worst from him.
âYour wound will get infected if you donât clean it.â Blunt and on the dot. As expected of the infallible Dr. Zayne.
He doesnât wait for you to respond and pushes the door the rest of the way open. Too exhausted to deny it, you simply step aside and follow him to your kitchen like a little duckling.
Heâs already pulled out a first-aid kit, the one he gifted you himself after the last late night house call. You walked in while he was washing his hands and heâs not looking at you when he tells you to sit.
You plant yourself on the closest chair and he brings a bowl filled with water and a rag soaking in it.
âLift your shirt.â
âIs this covered under my insurance plan?â
âUnfortunately, this is out of your service, youâll have to pay out of pocket.â He gets on his knees so he's eye level with your wound.
âGasp! Can I afford this? Doctor, please I hav-â Your monologue was interrupted by a candy he had unwrapped and popped into your mouth. Mhmm strawberry flavored.
âThe patient needs to behave.â
Given that heâs still bantering with you, the injury must not look that bad.
Any response you would have had is cut off by the sting and shock of the cold rag heâs gently wiping across your ribs.
Silence fills the air and in the calm it finally hits you.
âWait, how did you know I got hurt?â
He doesnât answer at first. Opting instead to search for a gauze and scissors to cut it to size.
âI didn't. It was a lucky guess.â
âHuh?â
âI heard news of a wanderer attack near your place. â
âThat doesn't necessarily mean I'd get hurt?â
His fingers ghost over your skin as he finishes taping the gauze. Your eyes follow the trail of his hands. Large and littered with scars from his time on the field. Hands that have saved so many lives. Lost in your thoughts you almost miss the next thing he says.
â-Take off your clothes.â
âExcuse me?!â
He sighs and gets off his knees, now towering over you. He looks down and you think you see just the smallest hint of amusement on his face, but you blink and it's gone.
âI said,â he pauses and leans in closer, âyou're still in your bloody uniform, you need to take off your clothes.â
âAh.â Your mouth is dry as you mentally reprimand yourself for assuming he had meant something else.
âDo you need me to carry you to your room?â
âNope.â
And with that you are on your feet, scurrying over to your room. You're changed and in much comfier attire in no time. Meanwhile, Zayne has since been inspecting your fridge.
He closes the door and you can already hear the lecture he's about to give.
âBefore you say anything, I was going to buy groceries, BUT, the wanderer sort of distracted me.â
He sighs and closes his eyes for a moment before pulling out his phone. Deft fingers tapping on the screen.
âThe food will be here in 30 minutes, you should drink water and rest in the meanwhile.â
âHuh?â
He walks off to grab a glass and fills it with water before coming back to escort you to your couch. Instructing you to finish the drink. His eyes hone in on the blood stains and his brows furrow but he doesnât say a word.
He walks back to the kitchen, dampens another rag, and squeezes a few drops of soap on top. Before you can stop him, heâs kneeling on one knee and making quick work of the stains and patting the spot dry.
âZayne, youâre being so domestic. Do you do this for all your patients?â
He places the rag on your coffee table and turns to you, and for the first time youâre actually looking down on his face.
You stare, taking in his eyes, a shade of honey green that you could spend hours poring over, like an ever-shifting image of a galaxy. When did you get so poetic?
The rainâs pitter patter and the soft ambience of lamplight make this feel like a scene out of a movie, the yellow glow softening his sharp features. He reaches over and palms your cheek, his thumb gently rubbing over your cheekbones.
âOnly for my most reckless patients.â
You can feel the rise of your chest, the fluttering of your heart, and swallow slowly; eyes wander all over his face.
Itâs only now that you notice that his hair is a little damp. You inch closer and you catch his eyes lower to your lips. Time moves at that infuriatingly slow speed like youâre dreaming, and the- DING DONG!
Delivery. Mood shaken, and sudden realization of what was about to happen, you both stand and look away. Zayne beats you to the door and grabs the food from the clueless delivery guy as you try your best to not stare daggers at him.
You go to set the table for two, but Zayne interrupts you.
âI have to go soon.â
âWhat?â Your disappointment clear.
âI just got a message, thereâs a patient under critical condition I ought to check on.â
He places the food on the table, and you grab his hand to stop him.
âWait, you ordered the food, you should take it.â
âI ordered it for you.â He replies cooly.
âZayne!â
You can see that he has no intention of taking any of it with him and admit defeat.
âFine. But Iâm taking you out to lunch tomorrow.â
He smiles and gently pats your head. âI look forward to it.â
You walk him over to your door and hand him an umbrella, the rain still pattering outside. He turns to you and gestures for you to come closer.
Confused you inch closer and lean into him. His hand finds its way back to your cheek and he places a quick soft kiss on your forehead.
âThis will do for now.â He smirks and walks away before your brain is able to process what just happened.
âFor now?!â You barely manage to yell at him before he rounds the corner and disappears down the hallway.
Mouth agape, youâre about to go running after him but are promptly reminded of your injured state by a sudden stab of pain.
âZayne!â Youâre not sure if he can hear you, but you donât care. The fluttering in your heart has you almost floating as you giggle and close the door.
You grab your phone and shoot him a message.
You: Youâre bad for my heart.
Zayne: Good thing Iâm your doctor.
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Best Things I Have Bought
I'm not sure how successful I will be in remembering all of it, but I'll try. These have all been game-changers for me, in a variety of ways. If teen me had had access to all of these, I would have been a vastly happier person.
This one is long, so I'll put in a cut.
-outlet timers. Not having to go around and manually turn off lamps at bedtime? Amazing. I bought these but you can and should get some that have a grounded outlet with three prongs so you can attach good extension cords to them.
-famotidine. aka Pepcid, it's the safest option I currently know of for managing acid reflux. I get nauseated when I get acid reflux, so this is a necessity for me.
-T-Gel shampoo. The only one that keeps my husband's insane dandruff under control. Coal tar shampoos smell peculiar, but are totally worth it if they work. For my hair, I like anti-dandruff conditioner--I apply it to my scalp and my other conditioners to the length of my hair. After bleaching my hair, I use Olaplex 3 to prevent more severe damage; the difference is very noticeable.
-white vinegar for a laundry rinse. I get horrendous contact dermatitis and adding this in the "fabric softener" cup in my washer keeps things from making my skin burn.
-on a similar note, all Oxy laundry booster. Doesn't make my skin burn but does make stains and smells noticeably better than detergent alone.
-Aquaphor. If you have eczema, nothing helps like Aquaphor, unless it's hydrocortisone ointment (the same white petrolatum base as Aquaphor but with hydrocortisone) or a prescribed steroid.
-Bissell Stomp 'N' Go pads. I have stomped. The stain goes.
-Prune puree. A packet a day keeps the chronic constipation at bay. Less volume to consume than prune juice and, in my opinion, slightly more palatable.
-Chinotto is a bitters-based beverage that I discovered by accident really helps my chronic nausea. I've tried other brands, and San Pellegrino is definitely my favorite. Tastes weird at first, but when heavy-duty ginger ale doesn't ease it, Chinotto can. And when that doesn't work, I have Zofran (ondansetron) my doctor prescribed me for the nausea I get with migraines, and that's an effective anti-nausea agent for more than just migraines.
-"You Just Need to Lose Weight (And 19 Others Myths About Fat People)" by Aubrey Gordon.
-rolling laundry cart. Doesn't have to be this one but if you CAN roll your laundry to and fro from the machines, do it.
-"Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Lundy Bancroft. If you Google, you can usually find a free pdf floating around.
-"The Vagina Bible," by Dr. Jen Gunter.
-satin scrunchies. Wet Brush. Terry cloth lined shower cap. AOA terry cloth hair turban (way, way better than similar ones from drugstore).
-stretchy work pants.
-bra liners. For large-chested people who tend to get sweaty underboob, this is a life-saver.
-Goo Gone.
-Dr. Scholls medicated foot powder and the Earth Therapeutics tea tree oil foot spray. The foot powder works for super long days and the spray for lighter days.
-Reflective heat pad. I use this on my car seat in the winter and I am so happy for that every single chilly morning. I've repurchased it... once or twice? now.
-Retin-A. I used to use Differin, which is adapalene, the most potent retinoid available over the counter, but the switch to prescription-only Retin-A has been very noticeable. Decreased wrinkles, clearer skin. More inclined to flake and burn but it's worth it for me.
-Red LED therapy. Near-infrared stimulates collagen production in the skin. The only other thing that really does that is retinoids. I bought the Omnilux mask, which is certainly high-end, but HotandFlashy (a YouTube content creator) did a great comparison of different masks available by specs and this was the best at the time. The difference is noticeable within days. I've tried other, lower-powered masks, but what made me make the jump to high-end was that I got the Dennis Gross red LED eye mask for crows' feet off eBay and I was like "holy shit, this is better." And Omnilux is better still. It makes sense, since they were the OG of the models that have been in dermatology clinics for a couple of decades now.
-AOA foundation has been at least as good at my TooFaced foundation, and it's like 1-2 bucks instead of 40. There are light, medium, and deep shades, each on different pages; I'm linking to light because that's what I use. The lightest shade works for me, and I'm basically translucent.
-AOA VitaGlow tinted moisturizer is absolutely my go-to for lighter coverage days.
-AOA PawPaw blending sponges. Best out there and also the cheapest.
-(do not buy any of the AOA eyeshadows. Total waste of time, zero pigment. I've tried repeatedly and they're just garbage. The highlights are generally fine though.)
-Direct acid foot peels. The calluses come off. Just don't do it when you have ANY open wound on the feet, because it's acid and will sting like hell.
-blendercleanser solid cleanser for blending sponges and brushes. Actually a) gets them clean and b) rinses out.
-PureWine wine wands. I let these puppies sit for three minutes in a glass and suddenly I can drink red wine without migraines or hangovers. Fucking miraculous.
-Dustbuster. Holy shit it's amazing for ADHD peeps. Small thing bugging you? Can't get yourself to bust out the "real" vacuum? USE THIS.
-Crocs. Don't @ me. I wear a black pair around the house and for garden chores and they make my feet happy. Salonpas patches and/or BenGay for a topical when you're sore--topicals are great pain relief.
-Vibrating neck pillow. Don't need it right now? Wait until your next head cold. Vibration clears sinuses.
-PooPourri. I love not having to smell poop. This, and similar products, work pretty well by trapping scent particles in the oil layer instead of letting them evaporate into the air.
-Electric snow thrower. I can't manage a large, heavy snow blower and I don't want to deal with a gas engine. This little guy helped me clear my large driveway in 3-4 hours instead of 12.
-The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark, by Carl Sagan.
-Handheld home IPL for hair removal. I ordered this exact one and I like it. You can get these on eBay or Amazon for cheaper sometimes; just make sure you PROTECT YOUR EYES during flashes. Targets pigment in the hair bulb so lighter skin and darker hair work better, and deeper skin tones may burn.
-Lanolin chapstick. Makes all other chapsticks I've used look like garbage.
-Steam eye masks. ShopMissA sells these and you can find them on a lot sites; shouldn't cost more than about a dollar per mask. I ended up buying an electric eye mask because I wanted to treat my dry eye and that just felt more environmentally responsible, but I love falling asleep with these on and I can't do that with my plug-in mask.
I think this is where I'll leave it--I've gone back quite a ways in my shopping history across multiple sites and thought about my daily routines--but if any of these problems torture you, these are my suggestions.
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Eternity Will Bring You Near - Chapter 3
Masterlist
Summary:
Wade understood that Logan was from a world where Alpha, Beta and Omega were everyday terms, not exclusive to red-pilled incel fuckheads who kept inventing new performative male genders. Wade wouldâve been classified as a Beta. Logan, however, was an Alpha - Wadeâs read enough fanfiction and yaoi manga to know what that means. Though it doesnât explain why Logan keeps sniffing him.
Pairing: Alpha!Worst Wolverine/Deadpool Genre: A/B/O, Smut, Domestic-ish Warnings: A/B/O Dynamics, Scent kink, Praise kink, Biting, Blow Job, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Orgasm Denial, Feral-ish Logan. Let me know if there's any I missed.
Beginning Note: Sorry for the delay folks, when I started writing this chapter I got ill, then just as I recovered the school holidays ended and it was time for me to go back to work AND THEN I got a fucking migraine that lasted FOUR DAYS! I've altered Logan's dialogue so he has a more defined voice. As like last chapter, I'm sorry for any mistakes, I'll no doubt find them over the next week or so. Again I didn't want to subject my partner to my smut writing.
Cross posted to AO3
Logan sat on his bed, tossing a little spherical gadget from one hand to the other in consideration. Wade had somehow strong armed Hank into making the zone isolation device. He shuddered at the thought of what kind of blackmail the merc had on Beast. It had been finished in time for the patchwork family to move into a rather spacious four bed apartment. And it had come in handy a few times already as Wade was making full use of having privacy and an en-suite. Though despite all their⌠activities Wade had still been apprehensive about going all the way. Logan wasnât surprised he was intimidated so they took things at his pace. He wished that he had all the time in the world to break Wade in, however, he could feel the restless itch under his skin.
Rut was approaching.
He had completely lost track of it. Of course, he had no suppressants to deal with it because, as heâs come to know through living with the merc, Wadeâs executive dysfunction was atrocious. He had no one but himself to blame for leaving the task up to the ADHD asshole. Which left him in his current predicament â how to deal with it. He didnât want Wade to feel obligated to help him. It wouldnât exactly be a walk in the park for the man. So what did that leave him with? Shut himself in the spare room with this device and try to wait it out with herculean restraint? Didnât seem feasible with how Wadeâs sweet scent had been a lot stronger lately, less of an undercurrent and more of the main note. It was like he was perpetually horny or something. Should Logan find a cabin in the woods somewhere so heâs away from temptation? Who knew what trouble Wade would land himself in with his absence. Either way, booking the time off work on such short notice was going to be a nightmare.
Logan stood with a growl, features set in a scowl, and placed the device back in itâs stand on top of Wadeâs bedside table. Itâs not on his due to the amount of desk lamps that had been victim to his nightmares (and sometimes orgasms, folks. Peanut has claws when heâs very happy too but you already knew that). There wouldnât be a replacement for the gadget so it remained on Wadeâs side. He had about three days to get this shit figured out if his usual cycle was to be accounted for. Jesus, he was going to have to discuss it with Wade, wasnât he? He needed a smoke.
He left the bedroom and made his way to the fire escape outside the hallway window. He wasnât allowed to smoke inside the apartment building so he had set up a little smoking area out there. Fuck walking up to the roof every time he needed a cig. Which was more frequent since Wade replaced all the alcohol in their home with Dr Pepper, a drink that seemed to be his new addiction after he cut out cocaine for âour darling daughtersâ sakesâ. Althea had also been cut off as collateral, the poor woman was experiencing withdrawal the likes heâd never seen before. He picked a cigar from the box which was situated on the window ledge, lit it and took a drag.
Laura was currently attending evening classes at one of the local high-schools as the girl didnât exactly get a formal education. The older mutant had wanted to send her to Westchester as a day student but Wade adamantly disagreed. He wouldnât open up as to why but Laura had also agreed not going was for the best. The two of them shared conversations in Spanish which frustrated Logan to no end because they knew he didnât understand the language. Those two knew something he didnât and the scent of unease from them whenever it was bought up really perturbed him.
Wade should be home any minute now. As improbable as it seemed to Logan, the merc could in fact hold down a nine-to-five job as much as he seemed to loathe the dealership. Speak of the devil, the jangling of keys being slid into the lock alerted Logan to his⌠partnerâs(?) return. He could smell Wadeâs sweetness over the cigar smoke despite the distance. Something had got the man going it seemed. A bloodied Wade strutted through into the apartment, his clothes all askew but a triumphant smile on his face. At least the blood didnât smell like his. So whatever happened, Wade hadnât been the one to get hurt. The older mutant couldnât help the fond quirk of his lips at that realisation. When he spotted Logan out through the window, he sauntered over and ambled through. Wade took the cigar from between his lips and gave him a quick peck, taking a drag before placing it right where it belonged.
âHow was your shift at the workshop?â Wade asked, leaning against the side rail.
âStill have clients confusing me with Howlett,â Logan grunted in response, âDoesnât help that Iâm still not used to being called James-â
âOr that your name badge on those cute oversized overalls of yours says Logan,â Wade interrupted with a teasing grin.
Logan rolled his eyes and waved his hand from Wadeâs head downwards, âWhatâs with the blood?â
âCame across some fuckheads trying to kidnap some boy. No older than elementary school age Iâd wager. Lucky for him, I always have Baby Knife on me. Unlucky for them though. One has his organs spilling in some alleyway now dying slowly, the others had a much quicker end.â Wade unsheathed Baby Knife from God knows where and started stabbing and slicing at thin air as he spoke. He seemed⌠happy. Excited even. Logan hadnât seen so much life in Wade (outside the bedroom) since he resumed work. It looked good on him. âI think I might quit the dealership and go back to mercenary work. For the right price and only those who are deserving, of course.â
âAnything to get yâto stop wearing that God awful toupee,â Logan taunted, reaching to pluck the staples out of Wadeâs scalp to remove the affront to his eyes. âHow soon can yâquit?â
âItâs a hair system you insensitive cunt. Because the author is British I can get away with saying that. And its courtesy to give two weeks notice, but when have I ever cared about corporate bureaucracy bullshit. I can quit tomorrow.â Wade shrugged.
âGood⌠good. Thereâs, uh, something I need to talk to yâabout-â
âIf youâre breaking up with me you could have told me before I kissed you.â
âWhat? No. Iâm not breaking up with yâmoron. Iâm going to be going into Rut soon. Usually lasts about a week, was thinking of shutting myself away for that time. I need yâto be on yâbest behaviour.â
Wade cocked his head to the side, would-be-brows furrowed and a tinge of bitter bewilderment wafting over, âWouldnât⌠wouldnât you want me to join you?â
Logan heaved a sigh, took his cigar in one hand and rubbed his face with the other, âYes I would like yâto join me. But I know yânot mentally ready for what that entails and I donât want yâto feel pressured.â
âBut Iâve been getting specialist training from a Wolvie who has exceedingly talented fingers. Iâm ready.â Wade waggled his brows at the older man.
âReady for a week straight of getting yâass railed?â
âDonât threaten me with a good time. Actually do. Thatâll really get me in the mood.â
âThereâd be little to no breaks except for food, water and bathroom.â Logan warned.
âHoney Badger, for my mug to resemble a shaved ballsack I had to be tortured â while terminally ill â for a month straight. Got pressure washed while buck naked; used as a punching bag by a big buff bitch with super strength, electrocuted, held under some sort of oily shit repeatedly, sealed in an ice bath until my lips turned purple and the coup de gras: locked in an oxygen deprivation tank over the course of two days where I was bought to the point of suffocation again and again but never given the sweet reprieve of unconsciousness.â Wade mimed out his experiences, seemingly not noticing Loganâs very concerned look. âIf that didnât prepare me for a week of fucking a sexy Alpha, then that fight in the Odyssey certainly did.â
Wadeâs ability to casually trauma dump as a joke would never cease taking Logan by surprise. Sure, he had heard some people deal with it through humour but to that extent? No that didnât seem normal.
âItâll be intense but Jesus fuck, Iâm not going to torture yâ, Wilson.â
âOh, last name that means youâre serious. Look I was just trying to say I can take anything you give me.â Wade bought his hand up to rest on Loganâs bicep, squeezing gently to try and comfort.
Logan growled, âAre yâsure itâs what you want?â
âYes! How many ways can I say it? The author is running out! Give Belmounte (read: Belmont) a break and just accept my company already. Iâm ready to graduate to the danger cucumber.â
Logan couldnât help but laugh at Wadeâs ridiculous euphemism, slouching back against the rails and blowing smoke, âFine, I need to get a few things sorted out first but weâll be heading off in three days.â
âHeading off? But we have the Sound Bubble-inator.â He made a round shape with his hands.
âMy instincts will be running wild. Iâd rather not risk anyone getting caught in the cross fire.â
Wadeâs mouth dropped into an âOâ as he nodded. In a rare case, the younger man opted to not continue that path of conversation. Instead he chose to prattle on about his day at work and how he was very close to convincing Peter to just give them a Honda Odyssey. They passed the cigar between them, Logan grunting every now and again at points to show he was still listening. Once the cigar was finished, the remains were stubbed out and flicked off into the trash below.
They climbed back into the apartment. Logan got started on making dinner while Wade joined Althea on the sofa who had been listening to the radio. Sure, Wade had the ability to cook, in fact he was a pretty good one but Loganâs instincts were nagging him to provide and show off desirable skills. Something that he hadnât experienced in a while, not since⌠The alcohol and suppressants had done their job in numbing him and now he was sans both.
Alright alright alright, my turn! Weâve spent one-thousand-and-sixty-three words on Loganâs introspection. Iâm trying not to be offended by the fact you started without me. Iâll put that down to poor decision making due to your illness. Time to give the people what they paid for in souls as well as blood and virgin sacrifices â me.
Wade, I know asking you not to be sassy is a lot for you, but please my brain is barely functioning. Let me write.
Ah, my bad. Take your time. Let those meds fuel you.
Thank you.
That evening, Wade sent Peter a text:
[Yo Sugar Bear, Iâm gonna be quitting tomorrow. Think you could swing me that Honda as a leaving prezzie?]
[Going back to the suit? Always knew you would.]
Oh you should have seen the look on his managerâs face when he handed them a used napkin with âI QUITâ scribbled in Neon Pink crayon with unicorns doodled around it. He had skipped out of that office as they shouted for him to come back. Peter had almost handed his notice in too but Wade had argued he needed the steady income if he was going to sustain a relationship with his wife and B-15. Yeah, a lot of people forgot Peter was married in the second Deadpool film. And that he was a bee keeper. Shame on you for forgetting. Anyway, Wade left DriveMax in a brand new second-hand Honda Odyssey that day. Just in time for Loganâs little get away he was planning.
The following days were a hectic blur of making sure everything would be okay in their absence. A large scale shop was done to make sure Laura, Blind Al and Mary Puppins would have enough food and the basics of other household necessities. Vanessa had agreed to check in on the girls in the evenings. A walking schedule was devised for Mary as well as a shit duty rota. And the packing! My God, trying to get a moment away from Logan so he could pack some secret surprises into his Hello Kitty duffle bag was an unexpected challenge.
The afternoon before Loganâs rut was predicted to start, the older man had corralled Wade out the door with a hurried farewells to the apartmentâs other occupants. Apparently they would be driving through the afternoon and into the late evening to whatever location Logan had planned; who had called his boss that morning claiming a family emergency and that he would be out of town for just over a week whilst things get sorted. Small businesses like independent mechanic workshops can be hit or miss about things like sickness and emergencies, luckily for them â this one was a hit. And so into the Honda they went, with Logan driving of course, on a journey to some mysterious place where they hopefully wonât be disturbed. RIP to whatever poor soul stumbled upon them if Logan had decided on camping.
Eight hours.
Eight fucking hours of being sat in that car.
Obviously there were pit-stops to piss and eat but by Marvel Jesus, Wade could not stand long car journeys. You saw how he was in the Void. Imagine that but worse. He couldnât keep still for the life of him. However, Logan had seemingly planned for this as he took the first traffic light as an opportunity to reach over and open the passenger glove compartment and hand Wade a Nintendo Switch. So the old dog did know about modern tech. Though arguably some might not consider the Switch to be âmodernâ as it was now eight years old. Outdated in todayâs world of extreme consumerism. Anyway, he must have stashed it in there the night before, which would explain why Wade had not been able to find it. But with it being just a Switch and not an OLED (God he hated half step releases, they reeked of money grabbing) the battery only lasted about four hours before it died. That was why he was ever so glad for smartphones and their doom scrolling time sinks.
Another hour and a half later, he was genuinely surprised when Canadian boarder patrol asked for their passports. Wade had turned to Logan in shock, jaw hanging open and eyes wide.
âYour taking us back to the motherland?â Wade squealed. Fucking squealed like a girl excited to receive flowers on prom night.
The fucker just gave him a crocked smile and handed their Canadian passports over to the officer who had been staring at the merc. Which didnât go unnoticed by the pair.
âDo you often stare at injured veterans?â Wade reprimanded, glaring at the officer who quickly looked over their passports and handed them back.
âS-sorry, sir. W-welcome back,â the man stuttered with a salute before stepping back to let them through.
âAsshole,â Logan muttered, as he drove by. His hand reached for Wadeâs thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze. It remained for the rest of the journey unless Logan had to change gears.
It would be another two and a half hours until Logan pulled up in front of a lone rustic looking log cabin surrounded by golden woodland that occupied one of the shorelines of Lac Chapleau in Quebec. It was dark outside, almost pitch black. Stepping out of the car, the autumn chill greeted him as Wade stretched and joints popped in satisfying release from being cooped up for so long. Mid back stretch, he was distracted by the sheer beauty of the sky as his spine bowed backwards. How long had it been since he had last seen the stars? Had he ever even seen the glory of the Milky Way before? Like iridescent glitter and metallic purple watercolour on black card framing the full moon. Or Van Goghâs Starry Night. This must have been what the skies looked like back then. Wade turned to look out onto the calm waters of the lake, a mirror reflecting the star-field above.
Putting those Poetry modules you did in uni to good use I see.
Well, Prose Poetry was my highest marked piece and I was the only one in my class who tackled it after the lecturer said it was hard.
Finally! Some confidence from you.
âYâokay, Bub? Youâve been staring at the lake all quiet while Iâve unloaded the car.â Logan asked, concern lacing his voice as he place a hand on Wadeâs shoulder.
âI was considering skinny dipping in it with you. But thatâs too much like the lead up to Edward and Bellaâs first sexy time in Breaking Dawn part one.â The mercâs nose scrunched up in distaste. No way was he ever going to replicate that dumpster fire.
Logan turned Wade to face him, scowling utterly confused, âThe fuck are yâon about?â
âYou know, the Twilight Saga? Team Edward vs Team Jacob? The pentalogy of sparkly vampire films? Teenage girls fantasising about Robert Pattinson and his airbrushed abs that caused him body dysmorphia?â Logan stared at him, still scowling but eyes blank. Not even a hint of recognition in those caramel pools of his. âCome on, it started off as a book series dreamt up by a sexually repressed mormon woman and was really popular in the late naughties early tens.â
âNever heard of it. If it was that popular the girls would have told me about it.â Logan deadpanned.
Oh. Yeah. He would have been at the mansion then. So if Kitty, Rogue or Jubilee didnât watch it then-
âHoly shit! Your universe doesnât have Twilight! Maybe thatâs where your timeline started to go tits up. Either Stephanie Meyer got the dicking down of her life before she could have wet vampire dreams about Henry Cavil or she was hit by a bus.â
Logan rolled his eyes and walked past Wade towards the lake, shrugging off his leather jacket and pulling his t-shirt over his head. When he realised the younger man wasnât following him, he glanced over his shoulder at him.
âWe doing this or what, Princess?â
Wade was quick to follow suit, stripping off as he jogged after Logan, stumbling when he tried to hurriedly fling off his shoes and shuck his bottoms. Logan, on the other hand, was in no such rush by the looks of it. He took his time to remove the layers that covered his lower half to create a tantalising trail to the waterâs edge, where he stood waiting for his companion in all his naked glory, haloed by moonlight. God what a sight. Wade swore he would never get used to it. Sure he had been down bad for Loganâs rippling cumgutter abs but this, with his hard angles mellowed out into soft curves â nourished and flourishing like well maintained garden â nothing could compare. These past few months had certainly been kind to the older mutant and Wade was certainly appreciating the view as his cock twitched in interest.
Wade blinked a couple times and shook his head, now was not the time to get distracted. Stupid unmedicated ADHD. Once he joined Logan, they waded (hehe) into the lake. Wade yelped at the initial caress of nippy freshwater, the brisk autumn night air doing nothing to help him acclimate and everything to send his balls rocketing upwards into himself. Logan chuckled and dragged Wade further into the water with a playful smile until they were chest deep.
Wade shuddered as his body heat was leached out, teeth chattering. âO-o-okay, thi-this wwwwasnât my f-f-finest idea.â
Logan â that furry fuck â seemed utterly unbothered by the waterâs lack of warmth. Probably a part of his mutation.
He drew Wade into him, wrapping his arms around the otherâs slim waist as they faced each other, âWhatâs the matter Darlinâ, water too cold? A little hypothermia wonât kill yâ.â
Wade plastered himself to Logan, trying to absorb his warmth and eliminate any space that would prevent that, âI-itâd k-k-kill the mmmmood.â
Logan hummed in agreement which Wade felt vibrate in his chest, nuzzling a textured scarred cheek with his nose, âWe canât have that now, can we?â
Not waiting for a response, comparably fervid lips captured Wadeâs frigid ones. The was no urgency behind it as Loganâs hands travelled, caressing and coaxing warmth wherever they lingered. Wadeâs fingers weaved and tangled into Loganâs hair, which had also grown out a bit to create extra fluffy tufts he loved to tug. Especially in these situations. Hands on his thighs lifted him, making him squeal and wrap his legs around Logan to settle on his hips. He could feel Lil Logan already at half mast against his ass. Ever the tease, Wade ground against him. Logan growled in response and nipped at his lower lip, his hands travelled upwards to cup and squeeze Wadeâs rump. Wade laved at the seam of Loganâs mouth, seeking and gaining entry with a breathy whine.
And then they were moving, the inky waters receding as Logan sauntered out from itâs depths. Wade broke away, panting for breath. His hands flew to Loganâs shoulders, nails biting into the skin there and he clung to him. Moans spilled from his lips as every stride caused his cock to rub deliciously against the other manâs stomach and Loganâs now fully hardened member to thrust into the cleft of his ass. He buried his face in Loganâs neck, mouth watering at the scent of pine trees, cigars, sandalwood and something musky that was distinctly him. Maybe it was sharing a room or just how much time Wade spent trying to be as close as possible to the older mutant but it had become unmistakable â Wade could smell him. And he liked it. It gave him the warm fuzzies. Fuck, it made him feel safe. Like Logan was home. Wade mouthed at Loganâs throat, tongue catching the sweat forming there, he felt Loganâs grip on him tighten and his pleased rumble.
The door clicked open and slammed shut behind them, wet feet padding against hardwood floors until Logan reached his destination. He sat at the foot of the bed, hands coming to rest at Wadeâs hips. Wade unwrapped his legs from around the Alpha to comfortably cage him between them instead.
âLean back for me, Princess. Let me get a good look at yâ.â Logan murmured into his ear, an involuntary shiver ran down Wadeâs spine.
Wade immediately braced himself on Loganâs thighs, back arching slighting to put his chest on display like he had done many times before now to the point it was almost instinctual. Heat spread up his neck and into his cheeks. Wade bit back any self depreciating comments and the need to hide himself, already knowing that doing so would have him over Loganâs lap with stinging ass cheeks and a denied release. And as much as Wade loved those moments, he did not have the patience for it at that moment.
âThatâs my good boy.â Logan purred appreciatively, eyes roving over the offering before him.
Pre leaked from Wadeâs tip like a broken faucet at the praise. One of Loganâs hands traced a path up from his hip to his chest to thumb over a hardened nipple. Wade jolted at the sensation because somehow Logan had actually trained his nipples into being more sensitive and he swore they had gotten a little bigger too. That fucker mustâve had some sort of healing factor override cheat code or something. Wade hadnât realised his eyes had fallen shut until a sudden heat enveloped his other nipple and he keened at Loganâs tongue flicking over the nub. And when those fangs scraped over the delicate skin there, Wade rutted desperately against him.
âFuck. Logan. Need you. Hurry the fuck up.â Wade moaned wantonly.
The Alpha grumbled but acquiesced to the demand with a tap to Wadeâs thigh. Wade shuffled off him and watched as Logan got up and unzipped a backpack to search through it. Once he had located what he wanted â lube â he returned to the bed but settled closer to the headboard.
âCâmere, Bubba.â
Wade crawled up the bed and sat on his knees beside Logan who sat back slightly reclined, âHow do you want me?â
Logan gave him a crooked grin and manhandled the slightly taller man into position over him, scarred cock level with his face, âRight here.â
Without waiting for Wadeâs response, Logan lapped up the trail of precum that was still leaking from Wadeâs tip.
âOh fuck!â Wade cried out, bucking forward and grasping onto the headboard. âGive a gal some warning, Honey Badger.â
Logan chortled and continued to lave at Wadeâs dick, tracing scars and veins alike as it twitched under his attentions. Loganâs tongue had a roughness to it that most people probably wouldnât like. But Wade wasnât most people and that wet muscle had a way of catching on places that had him gasping and whimpering like a bitch. The only warning Logan gave him before swallowing his length was a lap at his slit, then his tongue flattened and he was taking him down to the base. The wooden bed frame protested under Wadeâs grip as he fought the urge to thrust into the inviting heat. Logan hummed in approval as he set to work bobbing his head and Wade cussed, moaning and shuddering, as the sensation went right through him.
A slick finger circled Wadeâs rim before slowly pushing in and began thrusting. Wade stiffened, torn between trying to stay still, rutting into the heavenly wet warmth of Loganâs mouth or grinding back into the finger working him open. Make that fingers as a second one soon joined the first and started scissoring him open. This bit always stung slightly but Wade was a sucker for a bit of pain with his pleasure. As if sensing his thoughts, Logan lightly bit down on the cock in his mouth, fangs digging in and drawing droplets of blood that made Wade mewl while Logan groan beneath him. It wasnât much longer till he was loose enough for a third finger to slip in. Wade hissed at the intrusion which melted into a moan when Logan struck his prostate with targetted precision.
âHoly shit, there! Right there!â
Logan smiled around his cock, never once missing the sensitive bundle once he had found it. And with that, Wadeâs restraint crumbled, his hips rocking back onto the Alphaâs thick fingers and forwards into his throat. Logan choked around him at the unexpected motion. The sudden tightening had Wade right on the precipice of climax, heat roiling low in his stomach. Once. Twice. Thr- Wade choked back a sob as the hand on his hip swiftly gripped his cock like a vice, the heat of Loganâs mouth removed in favour of sucking marks into the diverts of his abs.
âNot yet. Yâd been doing so well. Yâll cum on my cock like a good little Omega.â Logan growled out, voice low and rough, âI want yâto ride me while I can still be nice.â
Someone call a plumber because as if his cock couldnât get any wetter, Wade swore to god he felt his hole become slicker around Loganâs fingers like he was an actual Omega. But that wasnât possible so it was probably just his imagination.
âFuck- Sure. Yeah. Get comfy then. Gonna rock your world, old man.â
Logan pulled his fingers out to swat his ass. Again, Wade clambered off him to let him reposition. When he was led down and settled, Wade grabbed the lube, squirting a liberal amount into his hand. He threw his leg over Logan and reached his lubed hand beneath him to spread it onto Loganâs neglected dick. It twitched in his grip as Logan groaned at the contact. Wade gave him a few quick pumps to watch him squirm and make sure he was all slicked up then lined him up with his hole. He knew he had it right when he felt the bulbous tip catch his rim. Slowly, Wade sunk down onto Loganâs length, breath catching in his throat at the burning stretch. No amount of fingering could ever have truly prepared him for just how thick Logan was. Beneath him, Logan had gone rigid, jaw clenched tight and white-knuckling the sheets as it was his turn to show restraint, to let Wade set the pace. His pupils were blown wide, eyes never leaving from where they were connected. Low grunts and groans escaping him with every shallow thrust Wade made to work his way down.
âLogan, please I need- please you have to-â Wade whined, desperately needing something to take the edge of.
Logan understood what Wade was trying to say. He spat into his hand and wrapped it around Wadeâs cock, thumbing at the slit to spread the precum there. Wade moaned softly and Logan seemed to take that as the okay to do two things. First, to start stroking Wadeâs cock in time with his rocking. Second, to bend his knees so his feet were flat on the bed so he could better angle his hips. Wade choked out a cry as Loganâs cock rubbed against his prostate.
âJesus! H-how are you s-so good at finding the on switch?â
Logan huffed out a laugh, âWhen you been around for two hundred years, you learn a thing or two.â
The duel sensations were pleasurably distracting enough that Wade was able to take in more and more with each roll of his hips. And when his ass became flush with Loganâs thighs he stilled. Fuck he was so full. Taking a moment to catch his breathe and get used to the feeling of an actual dick being inside him. He could feel Logan warm and twitching. Very different from the solid, cold, unyielding silicone of a strap. Loganâs hand fell away from Wadeâs cock to fist the sheets again.
âFuck, Princess, yâre so fucking tight.â Logan grunted.
âAm I tight or is your monster cock just stretching me to capacity?â Wade giggled.
Loganâs hands flew up to Wadeâs waist, gripping it tightly as he bucked up beneath him punching a breathy ah from him.
âFuckinâ hell. Donât- Donât laugh when Iâm in yâ.â
Wade leant forwards, bracing his hands on Loganâs pecs to experimentally roll his hips again. Both men groaned at the sensation. Didnât burn any more, just a tolerable sting. Easily ignored if Loganâs cock kept abusing his prostate like that. With that in mind, Wade began to bounce on the cock impaling him in earnest. Wanton mewls and keening whines tumbled from Wadeâs lips, each cant of his hips sending ripples of bliss up his spine and into his cock that slapped against his stomach with every motion. Logan looked tortured beneath him, still trying not to move, his eyes squeezed shut and his head kicked back, exposing a rather appetising vein in his neck.
The problem of being a first time dick rider was the lack of endurance. You see, riding uses different leg muscles to ploughing, or at the very least uses them differently. Wadeâs thighs were already throbbing and sore from exertion. But he couldnât throw in the towel yet. He switched between bouncing, rolling and swivelling his hips, drawing a symphony of groans, grunts and growls from the man beneath him. Felt his nails break the skin where he clutched at him. How much longer would it take for his resolve to break?
âNot much of an hahAlpha are ya? Just laying there mhm taking what I give you,â Wade taunted, chest heaving.
Loganâs eyes snapped open, glaring at the man currently literally and metaphorically riding his dick. He snarled as he batted Wadeâs arms off him, sending him tumbling into him. He hastily rolled them over, pinning Wade beneath him and hooking one of his legs over his shoulder. Thank fuck this was a Queen size bed.
âYâasked for it yâfuckin brat,â Logan warned.
He pulled out until just the tip remained then thrust back into the hilt, Wade arched his back trying to meet him thrust for thrust. God it was so worth teasing him and he was thankful for his flexibility as it meant he could pull Logan down into a heated kiss whilst being bent in half. Each of Loganâs ruts was met with a buck from Wade, falling into a rhythm that had them panting into each others mouths. A particularly hard thrust had Wade clawing at his back, heat pooling low in his gut yet again. He tried to reach between them to jerk himself off but his hand was slapped away.
âPleasePleasePlease let me hah cum. Need to cum. Fuck!â Wade begged.
Logan smirked down at him not stopping or slowing, âWhat did I say?â he demanded.
âTo- hng to be a good Omega and c- ah cum on your cock,â Wade responded weakly, yelping when Logan tweaked one of his nipples.
âSo what are yâgonna do?â
âB-be good and ah cum on my Alphaâs-â
Loganâs eyes glazed over, nostrils flaring as he suddenly bore down on him, sinking his teeth into the meat of Wadeâs neck. Wade screamed as he came, pain and pleasure dancing through his veins to creating an intoxicatingly raw delirium. Tears running unbidden as his body writhed. Logan clamped down harder, growling as he seemed to enter a frenzy, setting a brutal pace that wouldâve been sure to break anyone else. Oversensitivity was fast making itself known to Wade, his hole clenching around Loganâs cock with each pass of his prostate.
âCâmon Pean-uh-t, cum inside me. Knock me up with ah whole litter of Wolvies.â
That did it. Logan stilled above him, cock buried deep and shooting into him in spurts. Every now and then Logan would go to pull out only to push back in, more warmth covering his insides. How much could he fucking cum? And Christ on a bike, this was without knotting. Eventually, Logan released him from between his jaws and let his leg slide off his shoulder. Wade idly played with his hair as he waited for the Alpha to calm down.
âSo, my Honey Badger has a thing for breeding ey? Iâll keep that in mind.â
Logan heaved a sigh and finally rolled off him, âYou stay here, Iâm gonna grab our clothes then get something to clean you up with.â
He made his way off the bed and towards the door.
âI thought you said thereâd be no breaks.â
Logan shot him a grin, âOh weâre just getting started, Princess. The real fun begins tomorrow.â
Finally! We arrived at PoundTown via the penetration express! Iâd like to thank everyone who made this possible: The virgins who were sacrificed, the souls that were sold, Satan, my mum-
And Iâm feeling better. Only took me like nearly twenty days to write this between illness and being back at work T^T
There, there dear author. Youâre nearly done with this chapter.
What do you mean ânearly doneâ? Iâm done here. Nothing more to add to this one.
Oh hell no. You canât write about Peanut being in rut and not even show us the actual rut!
Fine. You actually made a good point there. Time skip.
Day three of Loganâs rut was interesting. See Wade thought itâd be a waste to be in such a scenic location and not fuck outdoors and under the stars. There was just one problem: a Peanut in rut was a nonverbal Peanut reduced to growling, grunting and purring. Yes, purring. So he couldnât exactly discuss the idea with the other mutant. Which left him one option. As Logan lay sated on blood and cum stained sheets, Wade grabbed his duffle bag slunk off into the bathroom. Buried near the bottom was the little surprise he put together. Lingerie he had made to resemble his suit â complete with an altered mask which had an accessible mouth hole. Even some stylish chunky heeled boots. He slid the garments on as quickly as possible, he only had a limited amount of time before Logan would try to pin him down again, which was something he was counting on. âGearedâ up, Wade mentally went over his plan.
This was going to be fun.
Wade crept out of the bathroom and towards one of the windows, praying to all that was holy that he would successfully get his head start. He held his breathe as he pushed up a window, willing it to remain silent. But the window was a traitorous thing, squeaking in protest as it reached the top to alert Loganâs super hearing. Logan, who was now sat up, hackles raised and on guard for a possible intruder. Seeing that it was only Wade, the somewhat feral Alpha paused, head cocking to the side as he assessed the other man and his choice of clothing. Wade shot him a playful grin and a wave before diving out the window and high tailing it into the surrounding woodland. He dodged and weaved between trees, leapt over roots, logs and shrubbery alike. He had to get as far as possible before-
A roar came from the cabin he had left behind inciting birds to take flight and any other animals in the area to flee. Was that a moose he could see galloping away? Wadeâs heart pounded in his chest, he could hear the crackling of dead leaves under foot and sounds of Logan giving chase. His danger boner was raging at the thought of being hunted like prey. He could just make out an ideal clearing for what the Brits called dogging when he was tackled into a tree. There, caging him in, was a naked annoyed growly Logan with fangs bared. Fuck thatâs hot. But Wade was here to get fucked, not disembowelled. To placate him, Wade tilted his head to the side exposing the length of his neck.
âJust wanted some fresh air, Wolvie. Not trying to leave. Donât worry.â
Logan leaned in and nosed at the offered flesh, breathing in deeply before giving a low rumbling purr. His hands landed on scarred thighs, hoisting them up around his waist then travelled back up them to pull Wadeâs panties to the side. Wadeâs breathe hitched as Loganâs cock slid home inside him, still stretched and full of cum from their previous romp. But it seemed all was not forgiven as Logan tightly gripped his hips and with a snikt released his claws into the poor tree behind them, barely missing Wade himself. If Wade had been caged in before, now he was imprisoned with no escape.
The merc slung his arms around Loganâs neck and let his head fall back against the tree trunk. Logan fucked up into him at a dizzying pace, drawing curses and moans that were cut short as the Alpha took full advantage of the mouth hole to seal his mouth shut with his own. The bark dug into his back, pricking his skin and creating welts across its length as Logan used what little leeway he had to pull Wade down to meet his thrusts. Wadeâs legs tightened around his waist, heels digging into his ass to encourage him impossibly closer. Logan angled his hips in just the way Wade was quickly learning to love, the way that had him hammering his on switch till he was a drooling teary mess.
Wade might not have been a natural bottom when this relationship started, but he sure as hell was now.
Oh you cock/clit tease! Youâre ending the chapter there?!
Unlike you, Iâm not a fictional character and I need to sleep since I have work in the morning.
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New Pinned/Intro Post!
Hi, I'm Loo(or Alex), I'm a disabled queer artist and writer as well as a furry vtuber who streams four days a week on twitch(mostly Minecraft but also Soulsborne games and a variety of other stuff).
You may know me from The Tuna Post, in which several thousand of you came together to "force" me to buy damn near 30 American Dollars worth of imported fancy canned tuna to eat and review live on stream. If you're here for it, said live review can be found on twitch and on my youtube channel. TL;DR: 10/10 would recommend.
I currently can't work, so if you like what I've got going on here and want to help me out, I take donations over on my ko-fi <3 Aside from that, follows on twitch help a lot, even if you never end up watching!
(Also, I sell my twitch emotes as stickers on redbubble!)
I don't have a proper BYF, but as a heads up I'm heavily introverted and have ADHD, and between those and my disabilities eating up my energy I often take a while to respond to messages/tags/reblogs/DMs and sometimes forget entirely. This isn't anything against you, and it's something I'm working on, but just something to keep in mind if you plan on interacting with me a lot.
FAQ:
Do you take commissions?
Not at the moment, but hopefully in the future!
What do you use for art?
Wacom Intuos tablet + Clip Studio Paint on the PC, though these days I mostly use CSP on a Samsung Galaxy Tab s6 since I can use it in bed on my low spoons days.
What do you want to go to school for?
Digital Art and American Sign Language!
You talk about being sick all the time/having health problems, what's wrong with you?
Too many things to list <3 but the most notable ones are chronic migraines, hEDS, and ADHD.
Queer?
I'm ace, bisexual, bigender, and butch. I'm also polyam but currently in a very happy monogamous relationship and don't have plans to change that. My pronouns are she/they, and while I would prefer to not have people use he/him with me you are highly encouraged to use masculine forms of address(sir, guy, dude, king, man, my guy, grandpa, dad, etc.) whenever appropriate. My assigned sex/gender at birth is none of your business.
Who's Yotsuba?
Yotsuba is an adorable little gremlin and the main character of my favorite manga, Yotsuba &!, and you should go read it right now seriously it's amazing go read it go read it GO READ IT-
What's "ask to tag"?
The tumblr equivalent of "author chose not to use archive warnings", I put it on anything that seems like it could use a trigger warning but where no one has specifically asked me to tag for that trigger yet. Things I currently (try to) tag for: flashing lights/eyestrain, insects, suicide, fatphobia/diet culture/disordered eating, my hero academia, gore/body horror, current events, us politics, politics, covid, cats, and anything nsfw goes under nsft.
I can't promise to be 100% consistent with these tho, between the ADHD and the migraines I am very forgetful, so slip ups are bound to happen.
Loo? Like the bathroom??
LOO is short for LastOneOut, I'm american and forgot people call it that, you can write it as Lou or just call me Alex if it makes you feel better.
LookingForLoo?? Like looking for the bathroom??
On websites where LastOneOut is taken I'm LookingForLoo because I'm literally looking for LOO, LastOneOut. I thought it was clever T_T
Sideblogs?
I have a nsfw alt @looafterdark (18+ only I swear to god I keep a loaded gun pointed at the follow list) and a writing inspo blog @last-scrapbook. I also once ran a couple of character ask blogs, though I don't plan on starting them up again, and I was the mod behind @pokeprofshowdown.
Who's Eugene/Ophelia/Sasha?
My ocs from an original story I'm working on. I get brainrot and post about them a lot. You are ALWAYS allowed to ask me about them!
What's your fursona/can I make art of you?
I'm a dog, kinda like a papillion but not really, and yes you may. My ref sheet is here.
Can I repost your funny text posts to twitter/insta/reddit?
Sure, all I ask is that you include the entire post and leave my username visible. You can also tag me if you want, I'm lookingforloo on twitter, insta, and reddit <3
Can I repost your art/writing?
Absolutely not.
Can I plug your art or writing into an AI program?
Absolutely not under any fucking circumstances.
Can I use your art in an amv/fandom board/as a cover for my playlist or fic/ect.?
Depends, DM me first.
Can I write fic/make fanart based on your fics/art/HCs/AUs?
Absolutely <3
Can I write fic/make fanart based on your OCs?
Art yes, fics no.
What's your stance on the discourse?
There is no amount of posting online about contentious topics that could ever match the sheer power of simply going out into your community and finding a project that helps other people that you can dedicate your time and energy to. Also wear a mask, vote(if you can), and listen to marginalized people when they speak about their experiences.
How old are you?
29
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We had proposal and wedding headcanons, now it's time for the next step. Can we get some headcanons of the N Team as fathers?
You sent me this ask three years ago, and now I'm finally gonna answer it, whether you like it or not!
Dr. Neo Cortex:
Cortex would be a very loving father... who unfortunately has trouble expressing that love in a healthy manner, and has abusive means of discipline at his disposal, both due to how he was raised. Like, he cares about his children immensely, and will even spoil them with presents, but you'll rarely hear him say "I love you" or "I'm so proud of you". Usually he only says those things when he's feeling particularly emotional. He loves his children because he made them himself. They are his greatest creations... unfortunately he sees them as extensions of himself rather than their own people. So heaven forbid one of his kids turns their back on him for disciplining them too hard... or trying to give them a sad backstory that makes them turn evil like him... or some other twist of fate... he will consider it an act of betrayal and disown that child, and try to replace them with someone else. But that's just because he can't handle the heartbreak of knowing he screwed up, and he will miss that child every damn day of his life, no matter how much he denies it.
Dr. Nitrus Brio:
N. Brio never really thought about having kids, but considering how many mutants he created and helped care for (and he even helped care for Nina for a little while too), he already feels like a parent even before having one of his own. In other words, he'd be a natural at it. Would he be perfect at it? Oh god, no. N. Brio has so many issues from dealing with Cortex that likely still aren't resolved, and he's going to inflict those issues onto his little one. N. Brio's partner would have to come in and prevent this. But otherwise, N. Brio would be a good caretaker who'd be quite proud of his spawn. Though if Cortex also has a kid, N. Brio is absolutely going to try and make his child bully/humiliate them, as an act of revenge against Cortex. His partner should NOT let him do this and, instead, force N. Brio to attend therapy.
Dr. N. Gin:
N. Gin would be the most well-adjusted parent on the N. Team. He would actively support them and their interests, 1000%. He'd love them unconditionally and never hurt them intentionally. However, sometimes parenting stresses him out, and since he's prone to migraines from his missile, he needs to take breaks and let his partner take over while he recovers. I... have no other thoughts about N. Gin as a parent. Sorry this was so short.
Dr. Nefarious Tropy:
N. Tropy does not care for children. Not even a little bit. He used to be a child, and he hated it. He has dealt with other children growing up, and he hated them, too. However, if his partner wanted a child, he would absolutely have one with them, and he would love that child. He would be somewhat emotionally distant, because he has no real paternal instinct, but he would still make an effort to be there for his offspring and support them to the best of his ability. However, if that kid ends up becoming anywhere near as narcissistic as their dad, Tropy may have a new rival on his hands, and needless to say, he will not like that.
#crash bandicoot#dr neo cortex#n brio#n gin#n tropy#headcanons#n gin is the real only good dad here#i'm sorry to say#sorry it took three fucking years
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When the clock rewinds, would you choose me?
Jake Sully x Reader
TIME: Set after the Avatar (2009) film.
PLOT: Formerly Intern from RDA, now a specialist in the reopened avatar program of Dr. Grace Augustine, you see the manâturned Na'vi, that was once almost yours.
NOTE: NOT PROOFREAD!!! i just wanted to write what i wanted to read so sorry in advance !!TT
part 2!!!
PRESENT:
YOU ALMOST FEEL DEAD, the cup of coffee in your hand wasn't halfway drunk and you want to vomit on your work papers. Stacks of written reports surround you and the illuminating lights do not help with your drumming migraine in your head. Ever since you've arrived in Pandora, messy memories are what keeps you away from being sane. You've never expected to come back, after the war and Colonel Quaritch destroying the beautiful home of the Na'vi, you were certain that your body will be decaying on the earth that was once loved for. So when an envelope slipped through your broken door at your depressing apartment. You took the opportunity. "Anywhere but on Earth." you thought out of desperation, forgetting someone particular on the planet.
Awoken by a staff member from cryosleep, you're nearing Pandora's atmosphere. You remember the first time you ever did, amazed by even the little things you can see from the ship. You were even more amazed when you step foot on the ground, at the compounds when you noticed arrows at a certain dump truck's wheel. You looked around and saw many trucks, coming back with dirt, and pieces of floral. At that moment, you were innocent. Only wanting the good money the job application stated but little did you know, you would create history.
As soon as you step down, you went straight for the building. Wantingâneeding to see your avatar form again, since you left years ago. Memories and adventures were done in that Avatar, an almost new life lived. Dr. Grace Augustine was a truly astounding scientist. She was an inspiration to all and you. You go inside the lab and spot Max. "Long time no see!!" You yell and Max jumps out of surprise, "_____!! It's been years! Didn't think you would come back!" He replies as you pull him in a hug. "I know, I just had to with the opportunity given to me. Where's Norm?" He points to the door where the old Avatars used to rest at. You look at him anxiously, striding to the door as you noticed new equipment in the lab. Yet dust remained on the untouched ones, where Grace used for research. As you push the door open, Norm is found sitting infront of the tubes. Taking a closer look, he was staring at your Avatar with an unrecognizable expression. "Hi Norm," You whisper, seeming like a private moment you disrupted. His shoulders shake upwards and whips his head towards you. Responding with a smile, he stands up to hug you. "_______, hi. How are you? I thought you wouldn't come," You're the first one to pull back, "Were you the one to suggest me? I recall last time, you were the last one to even mention my name at missions." Norm rolls his eyes, "That was 5 years ago."
PAST:
ONE:
You were late to the meeting Colonel Quaritch had set, other soldiers giving you the side eye. You were assigned to his team after splitting the interns to two groups. Though you begged Parker Selfridge to put you to Dr. Grace's instead, you ended up in the harsh skinned group. Quaritch kept explaining the tasks until he gazed out at the back, some guy in a wheelchair. The other soldiers gave him an even meaner stare, you rounded the table and sat beside him. "Hey. Pretty cool planet, huh?" He looks to me and chuckles, "It's a weird one too. You've seen the arrows?" You nod in response, "Where'd you think they've come from, aliens?" Before he could reply, Quaritch dismisses the meeting. The man you were talking to gone. And you didn't even get his name.
.
.
"Hey, ______! How's it going with the camera for the video logs?" a husky voice said behind you, as you position the said camera to a good angle. Jake rolls up beside, checking out your work. "It's good, you probably hit it out of exhaustion one time." you reply as his face becomes a satirical hurt one. "What? I care for the technology here, as I know they are veeeery expensive. You're lying," Both of you bicker for a while about it back and forth 'til you were called out of the room. You exit with a smile on your face.
.
.
You sit on a seat at the cafeteria, it was break time, and all you could think was to eat. Put anything in your mouth if you will. You pick up your spoon when arguments come crashing into the entrance, other employees turning their heads to see. It was Grace and Jake. Obviously. Something about Na'vi language. Something that Jake doesn't know about. Grace dismisses him, says he should move on about it instead. His face falls at the reply but lightens up when he sees you. "Damn marine, you keep messing up huh?" you ask while scooping yogurt from your tray, "Well it's not my fault you're not helping me." he replies as he snatches the cup from your hands. You look at him at shock, "Give it back or I'll steal your wheelchair!"
.
.
You wouldn't want to admit Jake has been good company, the other soldiers disagreeing with your say. He's been the least grumpiest in the squad brought on Pandora, so you're at least grateful for that. Dr. Grace showed him the Avatar, him taking his twin's place. You were amazed, how they made it possible, you didn't know but you also didn't know that you had one too. "______, yours is on the far right. You saw how to link with it so I'll leave you to it," Jake nudges your hand, "Guess I won't be alone then."
You try not to blush at his words.
TWO:
It was Jake's first day to try out his avatar, and yours. You were worried since he didn't have enough knowledge about it, nor he knew what was outside of the compound. Grace scolding him multiple times and Norm shaking his head in disbelief out of Jake's silly nature. You were laughing everytime you see the same scene. As he entered the pod, you quickly went to yours as well. Laying down and adjusting your hair to not get it stuck when it closed, Grace approached you, "Everything good?" You answered with a thumbs up as the door shut, all you remember was opening your eyes due to the bright light. Pointed ears roaming around to where sound resonated and tail swishing out of attention. You sit up to see Jake smiling to you, very blue, as he stands up and runs off.
.
After Jake practiced a few times to navigate in his avatar, (because of him running out of the lab out of nowhere) you, Grace, and Norm went out on a mission. Getting samples for the research the scientists need and you helping them along the way. Jake as a form of protection, Grace argued they didn't need him but persuading them was easy for you.
"I miss this on Earth." You speak out as you follow the science duo with Jake, he looks over to you. Sees your eyes shining with awe as you ogle around the plants, the trees, and to him. "Ours was beautiful too." His hand finding yours to hold, butterflies filling your stomach.
THE CRISIS:
He's lost. Jake is lost and you're with the duo, panting and sweating throughout your body. A Thanator was running after us, Jake getting its attention before. You're worried and you're shaking to find him. Especially that he knows nothing about the forest, so you look back at Grace and Norm, and slowly walk away to find him. A hand hooks your wrist and you knew they wouldn't let you. "He might get himself hurt or even worseâkilled? Who cares if it's dark when we got someone out in the wild?" You reason, "He'll survive one night, ______. Trust me." Norm replies as you stand under the big green leaves and the starry bright background. Your shadow casting over with the little light providing to it, the stars opposite to the feeling of dread. Sighing, you decide to trust their word. Walking back to the helicopter.
THE RESOLUTION:
Jake says he would stay with the Omatikaya clan. He explains he had met the olo'eyktan's daughter. Grace approves, Norm is bitter, and you're happy that he's safe. A chance for him to learn about the Na'vi. Everytime he discharges from the pod, he tells you all about the village and you can't help but smile big at his stories. About Tsu'tey and soon-to-be mate, Neytiri. How the Omatikaya people treat him and how the forest is beautiful at a deeper look.
(YOUR) THE PROBLEM:
You don't see much of him anymore. You catch glimpses of him inside, recording a videolog after his journey in the forest. He's getting thinner, he doesn't meet with you at the cafeteria anymore. Feeling down when you wait minutes that turn hours for him to eat beside you, joking about your platter, and still, he doesn't arrive. Leaving you with an empty stomach. He rarely talks to you, and trying you do. When he's out of the pod, you ask him questions but all he does is quickly wheel to the camera to record a video log. Jake greets you yet his expression of a 'happy to see you' is nowhere to be found as he did before. He goes back into the pod without a single other word sent your way. Your heart slowly wearing out off your sleeve, you miss your talks, you miss the laughs, and you miss him.
THE CLIMAX:
The RDA is finally destrotying the Home Tree and the People of the Omatikaya clan freak out, you panic, telling them that they should leave and prepare when Jake and Neytiri come back.
They celebrated the night before, the ceremony of Jake becoming one of them. You're excited to see him, ton congratulate him about his long way of learning and accepting them. Tsu'tey arriving to see the ruinage of a forest the Humans brought and was to discuss about future plans. When Jake and Neytiri come back together, Tsu'tey eyed them suspiciously, "You mated with this woman?" Grace curses and hell breaks loose. You stare at him with shock as he reasons. Your heart finally falling out of you, the pieces shattering one by one on the ground. He doesn't see you anymore. He doesn't see you the way he sees her. So you stand behind the crowd forming, behind the great trees of Pandora, and you stay far from the man you once loved.
THE END:
Quaritch is dead, Grace is Dead, and Jake is reborn as the Na'vi.
You're on your way back to Earth.
And you can't help wanting to pick up the pieces you left on Pandora.
#jake sully#jake sully x reader#avatar 2009#avatar the way of water#jake sully x you#avatar 2009 fic#avatar 2009 x reader
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The Space Between Hearts
A/N: This is Just the Plot Bunnies I Couldnât Shake. Please Donât Expect Any Kind of Medical Accuracy. This is inspired by House MD & a Film Called Fathers & Daughter (Loosely).
The Space Between Us.
Pairing:Â Spencer Reid x Aubrey Hurst.
Part 1
Dr. Audrey Hurst took a seat beside Spencer Reid, her expression thoughtful as she reviewed his file on the tablet. Her brows furrowed slightly as she scrolled through the extensive medical history he had recounted, from his brushes with life-threatening situations to his increasingly debilitating migraines over the past few months.
âI can see why youâre frustrated,â she said gently. âYouâve been through a lot, and I donât think this is just stress. Thereâs more to it, and Iâd like to take a nuanced approach and dig deeper.â
Spencer nodded, fidgeting with the edge of his sleeve. He appreciated her directness and the genuine concern in her tone, as if she truly cared about finding the root of his pain rather than dismissing it.
âFor now,â Aubrey continued, âIâm going to prescribe something strongerânon-narcoticâfor temporary relief. But Iâd like to run some tests: an MRI to rule out any neurological abnormalities and some comprehensive blood work, including genetic screening.â
Spencer was quiet for a moment, absorbing the information. He appreciated her thoroughness, but there was a familiar weight pressing down on him. âDo you think this could be genetic?â he asked cautiously.
Audrey met his gaze with a measured look. âItâs a possibility we canât ignore, given your family history. But weâll take it step by step. No need to jump to conclusions.â
Spencer exhaled slowly, appreciating her balance of honesty and reassurance. âThank you,â he said softly.
Audrey smiled. âWeâll figure it out, Spencer. Youâre not in this alone.â
Once the formalities were settled, she turned to him with a light smile. âI donât know about you, but I could really use a break. The hospital canteen has surprisingly good pie. What do you think?â
Spencer blinked, caught off guard by the casual suggestion. After hours of clinical detachment, the idea of something as simple as pie felt oddly comforting. He nodded slowly, returning her smile. âPie sounds good.â
They walked together through the quiet hospital halls, the sharp scent of antiseptic fading as they neared the canteen, where the warm aroma of coffee and baked goods lingered. The late-night canteen was quiet, with only a few workers grabbing quick meals. Aubrey ordered two slicesâblueberry for her and cherry for Spencerâand they found a quiet table by the window.
As she sat down, Aubrey slid off her black overcoat, revealing a simple black dress. Spencer noticed it was more formal than what he had expected, and he wondered briefly where she had been before this. Dr. Rhodes hadnât seemed to expect her presence either.
âSo,â Aubrey began, taking a bite of her pie, âtell me more about your lifestyle. Whatâs your day-to-day like? Any patterns youâve noticed with the migraines?â
Spencer considered the question carefully. âMy schedule is all over the placeâcases, travel, paperwork. I donât have much consistency. The migraines started about six months ago.â
âDo you think the unpredictability of your work might be a trigger?â Aubrey asked, leaning forward with genuine curiosity.
Spencer thought for a moment. âMaybe. But Iâve always dealt with stress, and this feels⌠different.â
Aubrey nodded. âIt might be worth tracking where you are when the migraines hitâhome, work, travel. Sometimes environmental factors play a bigger role than we realize.â
Spencerâs expression brightened slightly at the practical suggestion. âThatâs a good idea. Iâll start paying closer attention.â
Aubrey smiled. âGood. Sometimes the simplest details can reveal patterns.â
After a brief pause, she shifted the conversation. âSo, outside of work, what do you do for fun?â
Spencer hesitated. âI read. A lot. Books help me make sense of things.â
Aubrey leaned in, intrigued. âWhat kind of books?â
âMostly non-fictionâhistory, science, everything really. I read pretty fast.â
âHow fast?â Aubrey asked, her curiosity piqued.
Spencer smiled slightly. âAbout 20,000 words per minute.â
Aubrey leaned back, laughing lightly. âWow. Iâve just been overcome with a jealousy I didnât know I had.â
Spencer chuckled, a rare moment of lightness. âItâs a useful skill.â
âDo you have a favorite book?â Aubrey asked.
âThereâs this one novel⌠The Space Between Hearts. Itâs not well known, but itâs always stuck with me.â Spencer reached into his bag and pulled out the worn paperback, handing it to Aubrey. She smiled as she noticed how tattered it was, her eyes catching the small black-and-white photo of James Herron on the back cover.
âIâve read it,â Aubrey said, returning the book. âI like Fading Into Tomorrow a bit more, though.â
Spencer looked at her, surprised. âYouâve read his other work?â
Aubrey nodded, a small, thoughtful smile on her lips. âYeah, I have.â
As their conversation flowed, Aubrey reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a tie, turning it over in her hands before looking up at Spencer. âI want you to have this,â she said, holding it out to him.
Spencer stared at the tie, confused. âWhy?â
Aubrey hesitated, unsure how to explain it. âIâm not sure yet. It just feels right.â
Spencer took the tie, studying the fabric. âThank you,â he said quietly, still unsure what to make of the gesture.
Aubrey smiled, though something unspoken lingered between them. âThereâs a story behind that tie,â she said. âBut Iâll tell you next time. How about we meet again next week?â
Spencer nodded, intrigued by the offer. âIâd like that.â
As Aubrey walked away, she couldnât shake the feeling that something bigger was at play, a strange pull that had brought them together. For the first time in a while, she felt like everything was falling into place.
#Spencer Reid#Criminal Minds#Spencer Reid Fanfic#Fanfic#Aubrey Hurst#Spencer x Aubrey#The Space Between Hearts
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đ favorite book
how could you do this to me /lh
I could never choose so Iâm just gonna list some that come to mind
Animorphs (special mention of the Ellimist Chronicles) by KA Applegate
I talk about this one a bunch on my fandom blog @dr-reids-fidget-toy . The author was inspired by Star Trek. Kids book. Child soldiers, war horror, body horror, existential horror, age-appropriate jokes, aliens. Set in the 90s. Series of 50+ books. Many were ghostwritten. POC characters.
All of Us Villains / All of Our Demise by Amanda Foody & Christine Lynn Herman
In this world, magick is real. However, all of the high magick was depleted long ago, except for a stash of it that only 7 families know about. Each generation, a teen from each family has to fight for their life in a Hunger Games-style tournament to determine which family gets control of the high magick for the next 20 years. An anonymous author has recently published a book about this barbaric practice, and this year is the first time the outside world will know about the tournament (media coverage galore!). LGBT+ characters (Queer romance). 2 books. POC characters.
Vicious by VE Schwab (the second book is also very good but the first is my personal fave)
Two college students decide to conduct an experiment after learning of mysterious abilities developed after near-death experiences. The participants? Themselves, of course. Shit goes down. They come back wrong. Has a sequel. LGBT+ character (ace rep!!).
The Mirror Season by Anna-Marie McLemore
TW Sexual Assualt
A girl is sexually assaulted at a party, and returns home to find that her peculiar cooking abilities have vanished. Things around her start turning into mirror shards and breaking into dust. She meets a boy, and they realize they were assaulted at the same party. Buried memories threaten to surface as they become friends, and romance forms. A story about healing from trauma, with a touch of magical realism. (At least, I think itâs magical realism). Queer character. POC characters.
We Were Liars by E Lockhart
Great story with a huge twist. A rich family spends every summer on their private island. The main character is part of this family. After a terrible incident last summer, she cannot remember the event or anything her family has told her about it. She is also plagued by terrible migraines. Now, itâs summer again and her cousins are right where she expected, despite them not contacting her since the accident. POC character.
Foul is Fair by Hannah Capin
TW Sexual Assault
A girl goes to a party and is sexually assaulted by a group of boys. She plots with her 3 best friends and her parents to kill everyone involved. Short summary but trust me, read it. POC characters. LGBT+ characters.
The Gilded Wolves series by Roshani Chokshi
A group of thieves/found family are tricked into agreeing to a dangerous heist. Set in Paris, 1889. Magic is real in the form of Forging - the ability to create and imbue objects with special powers. I canât say much without giving away the plot. POC characters. Queer characters (including a romance plot). Autistic character. 3 books.
I need to add one for Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao. Donât let me forget
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ok forgive me for getting ranty but i just got really suddenly angry over a conversation i had today
so we can all tell im like, genuinely sick right? idk whats wrong but there is Something.
ive been to like.... three specialists? a cardiologist, a rheuatologist and two different types of physical therapists (three therapists overall) and we still dont have any idea whats wrong with me.
according to my father, this means im fine and we dont need to see any more doctors ever again even though i am consistently getting worse as i get older. he suggests diets and otc meds but refuses to take me back to the doctor wven for another blood test because the other one (ONE) was normal.
apparently i, (16, female, family history of extreme joint issues, arthritis and various other issues like diabetes and heart disease) am supposed to grow out of every symptom i have? including the fainting/pre sycope, extreme fatigue, insomnia, debilitating stomach issues/pain, near debilitating joint pain and migraines. all of which my mommy and extended family are coddled for having.
but when i look my dad in the eyes and tell him ive considered suicide because i havent gotten help he attributes it to me being a teen girl :/ i had to sneak-buy a cane that i may not get to use til i have a car (which atp will only happen because im being forced) which wont happen for another several months, to which ill have to have another drs appt for. yk routine shit. so ill end up handing my doctor a goddamn list and being like "figure this out or i am going to kill myself" (only half genuine i wont. but the idea is there) and by that point i may be banned from driving because of "concerns" (aka i have a FAINTING DISORDER and you arent supposed to drive if you regularly get dizzy/faint/lose vision, which i do)
im so upset. actually. why do they drop everything for my grandma when her wrist hurts a little but when im on the floor sobbing because i jerked my shoulder out of place i need to suck it up. why does it feel like nobody in my real life cares about me. why are my closest friends on tumblr. why does it feel like one person irl wants me to keep living. my parents are the ones all my friends always wanted until youre sick and they tell you to take some pain meds and get your goddamn grades up
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One of my more annoying neurological symptoms is that when I look down, like if I'm reading or something, I will see black lines near my peripheral vision that look like I have hair in my face. I don't have hair in my face, I have a dysfunctional brain that hurts me and makes things weird. This doesn't happen all the time, or even every day, but when it happens, I know I'm about to experience something bad. I think it's a migraine aura or similar because it only seems to happen on bad pain days. Dr. Google says it's probably floaters. I don't know. It bothers me a lot!
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So I have to rant about a health thing and it's related to dieting and weight loss/things around that, so if that's a triggering subject for you, either ignore this or if you really want to read it, read with knowledge that this is the subject matter at hand.
You see, I entered my medical group's nonsurgical bariatric program this month.
This isn't something I was planning on doing just yet, mostly because I believe firmly that physical health and mental health go hand-in-hand, and while I do want to get my physical health figured out, I'm trying to blow apart the kinks with my mental health right now, which is a process. I'm doing EMDR to work through some fucked up traumatic memories, and it's working wonders, but it's exhausting and hard work.
BUT then I went in to my primary because my ability to have an orgasm has dwindled to near zero in recent months. And not going into too much detail about that, but considering my history of spinal injury, that's a huge red flag, so my primary for once got really alarmed when I told her something and asked me to come in.
My primary is not very good with fat people. I've had primaries who are good with fat people, who've sort of said, "yeah, your BMI isn't where I'm supposed to say it is, but you're otherwise perfectly healthy, so let's talk about what you came in here for today," and they're great. This primary... well, she hears out my complaint but wants to mostly focus on my weight the whole time. Like as little as possible on the complaint (e.g., "that spot looks like a mole, so here's a referral to the dermatologist. Now, they did weigh you when you came in, and I noticed that...") and most of it on my weight. It's annoying.
And this time was no exception. She's concerned about my migraines and loss of sensation, so she gave me referrals to neurology and PT and then we started talking about my weight. She asked if I still drank Dr. Pepper (which I was like, "yeah, but I'm not fucking him, so what does this have to do with my orgasms?") and then offered to refer me to the practice's nonsurgical bariatric program, and I said sure, because I wanted her to leave me alone.
And so far, it's not great. The advice they have for weight loss is the kind of shit you can find on any Reddit thread about Lizzo. It's the kind of bland, soulless one-size-fits-all diet approach that I could get without subjecting myself to copays--shit like "aim for no more than 1200-1500 calories a day and exercise at least 150 minutes a week" which literally, you google "diet" and there it is, that exact advice.
And it's not what I want. I know that I have issues with food. I stress eat, and I eat my safe foods in order to keep some semblance of order in my chaotic life. I've developed a fear of wasting food for some reason (it never used to exist; I used to be like "mm, two bites was enough noodle"), and so I tend to wolf down way more food than I should because I don't want to throw any away, especially if it's something I really like. Being autistic, I have very beige safe foods because the foods that are the same taste and temperature every time tend to be beige and super processed. My relationship with vegetables and fruits is fraught. And though I've never LIKED doing a lot of moving around (and living on a hill that's at a 45 degree angle doesn't help that), the trauma of my spinal injury really made it terrifying for me, like if I do too much in the wrong way, I'll be screaming for my life in the back of an ambulance again.
In other words, I know what my issues are. And what I want is to have a healthy relationship with food. I want to eat for the joy of it, not for a hit of dopamine or to wolf down a plate of pasta carbonara bigger than my face because I'm afraid of it being wasted. I want to enjoy the flavors of the foods I eat and savor them and embrace everything that food is besides fuel: it's joy, it's community, it's art, it's culture. I want to feel the way I've felt when eating a new dish so very often. I want to embrace vegetables and fruits. And I want to move. I want to hike all the gorgeous paths nearby. I want to dance without getting super tired. I want to walk around the city without hurting.
But this program.
They gave us a handbook, and the moralization of food is just. Everywhere. Salmon good. Kale good. Egg good. But god forbid you have a slice of cake at a coworker's birthday party. The handbook writes about it, "too bad about the cake, but you'll do better the rest of the day." When we had group therapy the other day, two participants had just gone on vacation and were beating themselves up for not eating "good" on vacation (not "well" because eating well and eating good are two different things). They kept lamenting how they were bad for eating at restaurants because they couldn't control what was in the food, and I was like... if we were all way thinner, our therapist would be telling us to stop sweating it, so wtf?
But instead, the therapist talked about whether this was a "lapse" in judgment or a "relapse" into eating bad. And I do get that food is an addiction in a lot of times and that learning to not binge eat or eat mindlessly is very important. I'm working on mindful eating myself. But lord almighty, I'm not going to self flagellate over going to a nice restaurant on vacation because I couldn't see how much salt was going in the dish. For me, the victory on vacation would be having that dish I couldn't control because I wouldn't know what was in it and trying something new and maybe even liking it.
I just. nngh. I don't love being fat. I miss buying straight size clothes and not feeling like I take up too much space and not feeling like my ass needs a "wide load" sign on it. But if I lose weight, I want it to be from a healthy and sustainable place, not from a place of hyper control. I have negative interest in weighing myself every day, as they suggest. I have negative interest in even thinking about losing weight when I travel. I want a healthy relationship with food, but this isn't it, not by a long shot.
#abby's physical health#adventures in bariatric BS#diet culture#weight loss culture#disordered eating is cool if you're fat!#because if you're fat you don't get to have food!#you just get rice cakes and a treadmill and a tiny jillian michaels#sitting on your shoulder and screaming that you are worthless#yay!
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Here we go, some past stuff for the Crowlien au, where Crowley first meets Aziraphale, and a bonus.
Warning: no body horror but we do have some mentioned bigoted languageÂ
On with the fic!
--
Crowley had been an engineer on Paradise 4 for a while now, but had lived there his whole life. He wasnât an Earth-born human, his family coming out here ages ago like many other humans, to live in space, because Earth was... well...Â
Shit.
Really, if you werenât rich, it was either dying in dangerous conditions in the lowest levels, or fucking off to a small space colony station to find a better planet somewhere out there to eventually fuck up. Still, Crowley was fine with his life, he didnât mind his job, especially since he was finally now going to work on actual space missions for scavenging and mining. His life could honestly be worst, the most he dealt with were bigots towards his outfit choices when he went out to the local bars and clubs, or his tendency to say âfuck genderâ.Â
His co-workers were asses, he knew that much, having met them in training, but that was normal, they didnât like new guys in this kinda work until you could prove yourself. They also didnât like that he was also their commanding science officer, meaning he had other jobs, but engineering was his passion.Â
The captain of the mission was some smug man who probably got the job cause of daddyâs money. Crowley wanted to punch his teeth in when he heard his smarmy comment about how the higher ups always liked to put a faerie or two on a mission for points.Â
There were others, a mix of ups and downs in terms of companionship, but there was one member of the mission that Crowley had yet to meet. A new recruit to the traveling missions, a newly licensed doctor. Every mission needed a doctor, and Crowley might be the science officer, but he wasnât a doctor.Â
Well... he had a doctorate, but not that kind.
He was meant to meet the new man, a Dr. Fell, today, since theyâd probably be working closely together on this mission to Titan to scavenge a crashed unmanned ship and to take some samples from the icy surface. Apparently, Mr. Fell wanted to meet at some little, fancy cafe in the main hub of the colony station.
Crowley had no clue who to look for, but apparently Dr. Fell did, as he heard his name being called by a rather posh voice. âDr. Crowley! Dr. Crowley, over here!â
A few people were glaring in the direction of a man who was standing at a table, already set for tea, who was waving around a hand. He was dressed as if he were in one of those old Earth films that were set in the 1800s, and it oddly fit his cherubic face and near-white curls.
Crowley swore he felt his damn heart hiccup.
What the hell was that?
He slunked over, hands shoved into his pockets before taking a seat, practically boneless as always. âYo.â He greeted with a little two-finger salute.
âGood afternoon.â Dr. Fell smiled at him. âYou arrived just in time, I hope you donât mind, I ordered us the tea sampler, I heard itâs quite delectable!â
Glancing at the table over his shades, worn to protect his sensitive eyes, artificial lights gave him the worst migraines, as did the sounds of them, he looked at the little display tower of tiny cakes and treats. There was a pot of tea already prepared, along with a dish of sugar and a pitcher of milk. âI didnât pour you one, I was unsure of what youâd like.â
âWhat sorta tea?â
âThe house specialty, it seems to be an apple and floral tea, it smells divine.â Dr. Fell said as he took the pot and poured himself a cup, then added a dash of milk, no sugar. Crowley poured a cup for himself, added enough milk to make it cream in color, and then five sugar cubes, much to Dr. Fellâs horror. He smirked before taking a sip, oh, that was good. âI have a hell of a sweet tooth.â
âI can tell.â Dr. Fell scoffed, but Crowley could see a smile behind the rim of that cup. âSo, Dr. Crowley,â
âCrowley, no need for titles.â
âAh, then you may call me Aziraphale. I know, itâs a mouthful.â
âNah, sounds Biblical, nothinâ wrong with that. As long as your not pretentious about it.â
âUhg, like Gabriel?â
Crowley raised an eyebrow and smirked. âOh? Youâve met him?â
âOf course I have, and goodness, the ego on that man! Telling me how I should be feeling so thankful and privileged to be working for him! And then he went on and on about how he came from a long line of officers, even back during his familyâs days on Earth! Yes, yes, thatâs great and all, now what exactly am I doing on this mission? Oh, youâre going to tell me about how youâve never had a failed mission? Great.â
Dr- Aziraphale paused, and suddenly looked embarrassed and a little worried. âIâm sorry, was that cruel of me to say? He is our boss on the mission after all.â
This caused the redhead to pause, then burst into laughter, knocking his head back. He knew people were looking at them again, but he didnât care. He chuckled and sat back up, rubbing at his eye. âGosh, youâre a bit of a bastard, arenât you?â
âWell, I wouldnât say that.â Aziraphale sniffed, but he clearly wasnât denying it.Â
âI think you and I are going to have a great time working together.â Crowley leaned forward, lowering his shades just a bit to give him a wink. Aziraphale looked flustered again and quickly popped a tiny cake into his mouth to distract himself.
A friendship quickly blossomed and Crowley specifically requested that heâd only work on missions if Aziraphale was with him. They worked well together for ten years on missions all over the outer Solar System, and during those ten years, they got closer.
And closer.
And eventually Crowley was pressed up against a wall, having the best damn kiss of her life after she went out of her way to save a set of books that were nearly destroyed by some fellow crew members on a mission. Apparently, they were contraband, but Crowley suspected that it was just because they were a bunch of assholes who hated Aziraphale.Â
So, a little rescue mission happened and she found herself being kissed by that beautiful man with the angelic name she had been crushing on since their first mission.
Now, they had another one to go on, apparently there was a signal that got picked up and they were being sent out to investigate, and maybe to grab some parts if it was from a crashed ship. One of Crowleyâs tasks to do before they were prepared to head out was to look over files for the crew, for the ship, the usual.
He sat his computer, typing away as he looked at the green text on the screen. Bentley was curled up next to him on her little cat bed, sleeping away the day, which he wished he could be doing, but work needed to be done. He finished looking at Hasturâs file before opening up the next one, and realized it was Aziraphaleâs.
But it wasnât the normal one he was given.
Oh, it looked just like the standard files, but Crowley had been looking at Aziraphaleâs for ten years, so he could easily notice any differences.
Age, height, weight, all correct. Name, correct, same with birthday.
But species was wrong.
Species were something that had been in the files for ages, long before Crowley started his job. Humans were the majority, but there were androids and robots now, they could be counted as employees for companies, even if they were often treated like less than garbage most of the time. Crowley was an advocate for robot and android rights, humans had no need to think of them selves as superior when they really werenât.Â
All the times Crowley had seen Aziraphaleâs file, it had read human. But right now, the file showed android in the space.
Frowning, Crowley typed quickly, looking through the files for Aziraphale, checked the systems and everything. He backtracked, trying to see if it was an error, but something was wrong. As he looked, he found locked away files, and a little hacking let him inside.
Project Eastgate.Â
Crowley looked at only a few files, system blueprints and diagrams, programming, and reports.
All things from missions Aziraphale had been, all updates on his body, all upgrades to make him look like he was aging and adapting.
It was too much, and Crowley exited the files, made it seem like he hadnât opened them. But he sat there, hand over his mouth, eyes on the screen where he was looking at the profile image of his boyfriend.
An android.
Aziraphale was an android.
Crowley... hadnât noticed, he had no idea. Did Aziraphale know?Â
No, no he didnât. The files noted that it was important that Aziraphale continue to believe he was human, he must never know except in an emergency.Â
Fuck.
Crowley ran a hand through his hair. âBentley, what do I do? Should I tell angel that heâs... well... heâs a droid?â
Bentley made a little âbrrmâ sound, tilting her head in his direction. She slowly blinked, and started to purr. She looked so happy and content and Crowley felt himself relax.
âYouâre right, knowing this... it doesnât change anything. Heâs still Aziraphale, heâs still our favorite fussy bastard who likes tartan and giving you snacks when Iâm not looking.â He scratched under her chin before looking back at the screen.
No, he wonât say a word. He will know, but he wonât tell Aziraphale, he didnât have the heart to do so. Â
--
Crowley doesnât care what Aziraphale is, but they do worry later on when they find out that he knows the truth later on when itâs just them surviving on the ship. They do lie when Aziraphale asked if they knew, Crowley... they just canât tell them that they knew.Â
Also, yeah, a little reference to the 1941 book saving. :) Aziraphale was crushing on Crowley at the time and decided, fuck it, time to confess with a romantic kiss (and a small bump to the back of Crowleyâs head against the wall).
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Welcome back to my Bad Things Happen Bingo!
Fandom: My time at Portia
Pairing: Arlo x Female Builder
Summary: Elenya had a really bad week. She was completely exhausted and she just wanted a hug from her favourite person, even if she had to stumble up the hill to the Civil Corps Headquarters to get it.
Word count: 5382
Prompt: Stumbling and Staggering
Authorâs note: Can please someone stop my brain? I wanted this to be a cute little story to help me get out of my writers block, maybe 2000 to 3000 words, and now we've got this.
This one is more comfort than hurt, so be prepared to call your dentist when you are done with reading!
Oh, and I read through this like, two times, so if you find any mistakes or something doesn't add up, let me know!
Have fun reading!
Warnings: Mentions Blood, Established Relationship, Elenya is tired, Arlo is a sweetheart
Read on AO3:Â Link
Safe in his arms
Elenya was tired. Not just tired as in "one night of bad sleep", but tired as in "five hours of sleep in the last five days". Her head was throbbing with a mild migraine and her hands were shaking so badly that she had to decide to end her work day early.Â
Everything she had tried to build went wrong and when she almost torched her hand trying to weld two steel plates together, she had to admit defeat.
There usually wasn't much that could keep her from working, but even she knew she couldn't work safely in this condition.
The fact that Portia had just been hit by a heat wave didn't help either. The sun was beating down on the residents incessantly, and while that normally didnât bother her a lot - after all, it was terribly hot in Barnarock all year round - the constant sweating and heat exhausted her even more. Not to mention the headache the bright light was giving her.
God, she really wanted to go back to bed.
But rather than do that, she stumbled up the path to Civil Corps headquarters, her whole being focused on a single goal.
Arlo.
She felt anxious and miserable and just wanted a hug from her boyfriend. As soon as his strong arms wrapped around her body, she always felt better immediately, and that was exactly what she needed right now. Besides, she hoped that maybe she could sleep with him tonight.
After all, the reason she had hardly slept the last few nights was because of terrible nightmares. As soon as she closed her eyes, she was haunted by dark shadows, the sense of danger, and the inexplicable feeling that something bad was about to happen. She couldn't remember the exact dreams after waking up, only the feelings and each time she couldn't go back to sleep.
She had tried to distract herself with work, tried to drive away the anxiety with it, but every night the dreams only got worse.
But maybe she could finally get a good night's sleep when she was in Arlo's arms. Even just being near him made her feel instantly safe, let alone when he held her tightly in his strong arms.Â
However, if that didn't help either, then she would probably have to turn to Dr. Xu. Her body was so exhausted by now that she was freezing even in the blazing late afternoon sun, her black shorts and red t-shirt not enough to keep her warm.Â
Which really shouldn't even be possible. Because she could feel the sun on her skin, could feel the heat of it, but it didnât seem to reach her body. Goosebumps crept up her arms.
She really needed some sleep.
~~~~~~
Elenya was glad that most people were hiding from the heat in their houses, leaving no one to notice her stumbling up the hill like a zombie.
Her leg and arms felt like lead, her feet barely lifting off the ground, and her eyes closed from time to time without her noticing. The walk up to Civil Corps headquarters never felt so hard.
She was just at the height of the large tree short of her goal when suddenly a violent dizziness overcame her and she stumbled to the side. She tried to catch herself on the trunk of the tree, but missed. Instead, her left hand scraped the rough bark and she slammed her shoulder hard against the tree.
Ouch...
Disoriented, she clung to the tree for a moment, the pain in her hand and shoulder a good focus point in the process. She preferred to focus on that rather than the world, which continued to spin around her.
Damn, her body was definitely starting to reach its limits. But she only had a few more steps to go, then she could hopefully finally relax in Arlo's arms.
Elenya didn't know how long she stood there like that, but after a while the dizziness finally subsided and she dared to let go of the tree.
Okay, she can do this. Just one step at a time, that's all.
She stumbled on toward her goal. Her coordination was off and her eyes were threatening to close permanently.
God, she was so tired.
After stumbling against the statue of the flying pigs as well, hitting her right hip quite painfully in the process, she finally stood in front of the large orange doors that would finally lead her to Arlo.
Please let him be there.
Of course, the possibility that he wasn't even at headquarters didn't occur to her until she had struggled up the hill, but it was too late now anyway. If he wasn't there, she would just curl up on the nearest soft surface and cry.Â
She had no strength left for more.
But luck was on her side, at least in this matter. Cautiously, she opened the door and didn't have to search long before her blurred gaze fell on the familiar shock of red hair. Arlo was sitting at his desk next to the assignment board, his head bent over a document which he was studying intently. He was so engrossed in it that he didn't notice Elenya until her - this time - left hip collided painfully with the corner of the desk as a new wave of dizziness overtook her.
Startled, his head snapped up.
"Elenya! What are you doing here?" Confused and delighted at the same time, his eyes met hers. He slid his chair slightly away from the table, probably to stand up, but Elenya quickly took the chance to step in front of him.
Exhausted, her legs finally gave way under her and she fell onto his lap, her legs straddling his hips.
"Woah, hey, what's wrong?" Alarmed, Arlo's arms wrapped around her shoulders and waist, pulling her tightly against his chest.
Instantly she was flooded with his warmth and she buried her head in his neck, her aching head welcoming the darkness there. Arlo's soothing scent rose to her nose and she finally lost the battle against the tears she had been holding back for days.
They flowed ceaselessly from her eyes and soaked through Arlo's T-shirt.
"Sweetheart?" Concern poured from his every pore, and he tried to push her away from him a little so he could look at her. Quickly, she wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders and buried her face even more into his neck, hiding from the world.
Please, don't let go!
"Sweetheart, what's wrong? What happened?" He wanted to know from her gently but worriedly, but the only thing that left her lips was a sob.
She had reached her limit.Â
5 days without proper sleep and terrible nightmares, she just couldn't hold it in anymore. And Arlo's strong arms finally gave her the chance to let go.
Her crying got worse and the arms around her waist and shoulders tightened.
"Hey, shh, it's alright. I'm here. You're alright. Everything's going to be okay. I'm here." Gently, Arlo's soothing mantra swept over her, enveloped her, bathed her in the feeling of safety, and slowly her tears dried up.
Having cried out all the pent-up emotions and fear, she slumped even more in Arlo's arms, her exhaustion even greater than before and a steady ache throbbing in her head.
"Everything's going to be alright, sweetheart." A soft kiss was pressed to the mop of her hair and with a sigh she tried to snuggle even closer to Arlo. Would have loved to melt into him and never come back.
He let her rest for a while like this, before he spoke up again.
"Can you please look at me, sweetie?" Arlo's right hand, which had been wrapped around her shoulders until just now, softly came to rest on the part of her cheek that was visible and tried to gently lift her head.
Reluctantly, she complied with his request.
"Hey, there you are." A soft, loving smile played around his lips, but concern quickly took over his gaze the longer he studied her face.
She didn't even want to know what she looked like right now. She'd already been startled this morning when she'd looked in the mirror. Her face had been completely pale, her eyes irritated and red and with deep shadows underneath. How she looked now after crying, she could only imagine.
Gently, Arlo's rough thumb stroked her wet cheek and she leaned into the touch, seeking even more comfort.
"What happened, darling? You don't look well at all. Are you sick?" Concerned, he studied her face, his thumb still gently caressing her cheek.
For a while she just stared back, examining the familiar features of his face, noticing the almost equally dark shadows under his eyes, the slight stubble on his cheeks, the stress crease between his eyes, and guilt spread through her.
Suddenly she remembered why she hadnât sought him out earlier. Why she had pushed her body to the brink of exhaustion before seeking help from him.
Earlier in the week, after she had the first nightmare, she had asked him if maybe they could do something together. Just relax for a day, maybe go on a picnic or something. Stress might have been the trigger for her bad dreams and a day with Arlo would be the perfect cure for that, but he had just snapped at her that he didn't have time for that now.
Startled and hurt, she had backed away from him then, but those feelings quickly faded as he immediately apologised to her and she noticed the deeply stressed look on his face.
There were several problems he had to take care of at once, and that while Remy was out of action for several days because of his knee. He hadn't told her exactly what it was about and her offer to help had been turned down as well, so she had decided to leave him alone for a few days and, when he finally had some rest, force him to take a day off and do nothing.
And now she had probably interrupted him in the middle of something important.
"I'm sorry..." Her voice was all hoarse from crying, and she had to clear her throat before she could continue speaking. "I didn't mean..." she hiccupped, "I didn't mean to disturb you..."
"Hey, none of that." Gently, he now lifted his second hand to her cheek as well, cupping her face and pressed his forehead softly against hers, keeping her gaze captive. "You could never bother me. You can always come to me, especially when you're not feeling well. Please tell me what's wrong. It hurts me to see you like this." His voice and touch were so tender that new tears came to her eyes.
How had she ever deserved someone like him?
"I'm sorry anyway. It's just... I haven't been able to sleep for five days. Every time I fall asleep, I wake up from a nightmare shortly after and can't go back to sleep after that. I'm just... I'm just so tired." Frustrated, new tears ran down her cheeks, but Arlo immediately wiped them away, leaning his head back as he did so.
"Oh, my poor sweetie. Why didn't you come to me sooner?" The crease between his eyes deepened with concern and uneasily Elenya averted her gaze.
"Well... You've been so busy and stressed this week, I didn't want to take up your limited time too..." She cringed at how small and uncertain her voice sounded. That was just the best way to make Arlo feel guilty, and that was the last thing she wanted to do.
And sure enough, when she turned her gaze back to his, she could see his eyes twist with guilt.
"Oh..." His hands, still gently cupping her face, were about to lower, but Elenya quickly grabbed his wrists and stopped him. She needed the comfort of that gentle touch, and at the same time she also wanted to show him that she didn't blame him for anything. He immediately understood what she wanted and got back to cradle her face oh so gently.
"I'm so so so sorry love, for snapping at you like that a few days ago. I never meant for you to feel like you couldn't come to me. I'll always be here for you if you need me, okay? Please don't ever forget that. No matter how busy I am, if you need my help, I'll find a way." He pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. "I love you and I always want you to be okay."
His look was serious but full of love and Elenya felt her cheeks blush.
No matter how many times he said those three words to her, they always made her heart race and fill her with happiness.
"I love you too. And you have nothing to apologise for. I saw how stressed you were and I really just didn't want to bother you. But today..." She wanted to say more, but Arlo's eyes, which had been wandering over her face, suddenly widened with shock as they landed on her left hand, still clutching his wrist.
"Elenya! You're bleeding! What happened?" His hands moved away from her face and carefully he pried hers from his wrist.
Confused, she looked down at her hand, which was now held palm up in Arlo's hand.
Oh, she had forgotten about that already. The tree bark had scraped her hand, after all, and the movement must have reopened the barely closed wounds. Now that her attention was drawn back to it, she also felt the burning again.
"Oh, I got dizzy on the way here, and I stumbled against the tree outside. The bark must have scraped my hand in the process."Â
"Oh dear, why didn't you say so in the first place? We really need to clean the wounds before they get infected. As bad as this is bleeding, they must be pretty deep. Did you hurt yourself anywhere else?" Concerned, Arlo's gaze darted back and forth between her hand and her eyes.
But at the mention of blood, something entirely different came to her mind.
"Oh no, I hope I didn't bleed all over your shirt!"
She wanted to lean to the side to get a look at his shoulder, but her overtired body didn't play along and a new wave of dizziness overcame her. She tipped to the side more than she wanted to and would have fallen off his lap had Arlo not immediately pulled her back to his chest.
"Hey, careful. Don't hurt yourself more, please." His arms were wrapped tightly around her back again and she let her head fall back against his shoulder, careful not to bring her bloody hand near him this time.
The dizziness wouldn't subside, however, and with a whimper she slumped completely in his lap. The little bit of energy she could muster for their conversation quickly dissipated and what remained was her bone-deep exhaustion.
The arms around her back tightened even more and she could downright feel Arlo's concern.
"I've got you, I'm here. Let me just tend to your hand and then you can lie down, okay?" Worry resonated deep in his voice and she felt bad for causing him more stress, but she only had the strength left to nod in response to his question.
Her head throbbed violently at the motion.
"Okay. Do you think you can stand up? I'd love to carry you, but I'm afraid I can't stand up like this."
"Oh, of course." Her legs felt like jelly, and she wasn't sure they would even carry her anymore, but she couldn't very well stay seated either.
Arlo must have heard her uncertainty in her voice.
"I'll help you, don't worry. Go as slow as you need." His hands moved from her back down to her hips and held her tight. On shaky knees, she managed to get up from his lap with his help and before she knew what was happening, she found herself in his strong arms, one underneath her knees and one behind her back.
He carried her the few steps over to one of the yellow armchairs and set her down carefully in it.
"I'll be right back, okay? I'll just get the first aid kit." Arlo waited until she nodded in understanding and then disappeared into the bathroom.
Looking after him with half-open eyes, she wrapped her arms around herself. Now that she was no longer surrounded by his warmth and security, she started to freeze again and the feeling of anxiety returned.
Fortunately, it really didn't take him long and after only a minute he was kneeling in front of her, the first aid kit lying open beside him.
"Okay, sweetie, can you give me your hand?" Invitingly, he held out his right hand, and she tried to comply with his request, but her hand was shaking so much that she could barely hold it out to him. Quickly, Arlo reached for her hand and gently pulled it toward him, his large hand gently cupping the back of her hand. Even that little bit of skin contact made her feel better.
"Okay, I'll just clean the wounds and then we'll put a clean bandage around your hand. I'm afraid that's going to hurt, but I'm going to go as fast as I can, promise. I don't want them to get infected." Sympathetically, his blue eyes looked up at her and her overtired brain wondered why he was making such a fuss over a scraped hand.
Was he still feeling guilty about not having time for her the last few days?
Whatever it was, she wasn't about to complain. Sure, the cleansing burned terribly in the open wounds, but she hardly noticed. His warm hands were so gentle and careful as he tended to her hand that she hardly perceived anything else. His concerned gaze was fully focused on her, making her feel loved and safe.
Feelings she needed so badly right now to banish the nightmares from her mind.
"There, all done." He lifted her hand up to his lips and pressed a feather-light kiss to her freshly bandaged palm. The warm feeling inside her grew stronger.
"And to get back to my question from earlier, are you hurt anywhere else?" Concerned, his eyes darted over her body, probably searching for other injuries.
She shook her head. "Just a few bruises, I think..." A big yawn escaped her, her eyes drooping and Arlo's eyes softened.
"That's good. Would you like to lie down in my bed for a while now? You need sleep very badly." Arlo straightened back up to his full height and with wide, hopeful eyes she looked up at him.
"Are you coming, too?"Â
She didn't need to hear his answer. The look of regret that immediately settled on his face at her question told her what she needed to know.
She slumped in disappointment and felt awful about it at the same time. The dark shadows under his eyes and the tired features told her that he hadn't had an easy week either, and she didn't want him to feel bad about her too, but she knew if she lay down alone now, the nightmares would come right back and she couldn't handle that anymore. She would rather stay awake and accept the consequences.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I really need to go through these documents before I can lie down with you. That will take maybe another half hour, an hour at the most. Do you think you can manage that long on your own?" Remorse filled his voice, but she had to shake her head at his question.
The concern in his gaze deepened and for a moment he stared at her thoughtfully until something seemed to occur to him.
"Oh, wait a minute, I have an idea." He quickly cleaned up the first aid kit, took it back to the bathroom, and then went back to his desk where she couldn't see what he was doing. She heard papers rustling and the scrape of the chair on the floor and then he was standing in front of her again.
With eyes shining warmly, he bent down to her and told her to put her arms around his neck. Confused, she complied and with a startled cry she suddenly found herself in the air, her legs instinctively wrapping around his hips. Like a monkey, she clung to him, her face buried in his neck as his hands held her hips securely.
What was he planning to do?
"Hold on tight." With those words, Arlo started walking, his steps gentle and seemingly undisturbed by her weight. She knew he was walking toward the desk, even if she couldn't see it, and sure enough, a moment later she found herself in the same position as before. Sitting on his lap, her legs to his left and right.
But this time the chair was much closer to the desk - she could feel the edge in her back when she leaned back - and Arlo could still reach his documents now.
"Oh." Surprised, she looked up at him.Â
Did that mean she could stay with him without disturbing him?
"So, now I can work and hold you close at the same time. How does that sound?" He lovingly brushed a strand of hair out of her face that had come loose from her ponytail, a gentle smile on his lips, and gratefully she engaged him in a deep kiss.
He returned the kiss without hesitation. His right hand came to rest against her cheek and his left arm, wrapped around her waist, pulled her even closer to him. For a moment, she enjoyed his soft, warm lips on hers before pulling back slightly.
"Thank you, Arlo." Sincere and full of love, she looked deep into his eyes and his gaze softened.
"No need to thank me, sweetheart. Like I said, I'll always find a way to help you. Now you get some rest and I'll go over the rest of these reports, okay?" He pressed another quick, gentle kiss to her lips and then reached for the top paper on his desk.Â
Elenya watched him for a moment, admiring the way his beautiful blue eyes flitted intently over the lines, but it wasn't long before her own eyes closed on their own and so she complied with his words.
She placed her head back on his shoulder, her face buried deep in his neck, and gave in to her exhaustion. The arm around her waist tightened a bit more and wrapped in his warmth, scent and security and accompanied by soft paper rustling, she dozed off.
~~~~~~
Elenya awoke some short time later to a rough thumb gently caressing her cheek and an equally soft, rumbling voice whose vibrations she could feel in her chest.
Where was she?
With difficulty she roused from her exhausted sleep, completely disoriented, but at least without panic. The familiar smell around her and the strong chest beneath her told her she was safe.Â
What had happened?
A soft groan escaped her. Her body felt like it was filled with lead instead of blood, her eyes itched uncomfortably, her head throbbed in pain and she would have liked to fall back to sleep. But there was still the voice that spoke softly into her ear and the thumb that caressed her cheek.
She woke up a little more and finally she could understand the words.
"Hey sweetie, sorry to wake you up, but I'm done and we can finally go to bed. But for that you would have to stand up again for a moment so that I can stand up as well. Can you do that for me?"
Stand up?
Her eyes opened with difficulty and with great effort, she managed to lift her head, which until now, she realised, had been leaning against Arlo's shoulder. Warm blue eyes and an apologetic smile greeted her, and for a few seconds she just stared at Arlo.Â
Her brain struggled to process the words she had just heard, but Arlo didn't rush her and waited patiently for her to be awake enough to carry out his request.
And finally the words made sense and she remembered that she was sitting on his lap, preventing him from getting up.
God, she was way too tired.
But now that she knew what he wanted from her, she nodded and tried to lift herself off his lap. It just wasn't as easy this time, since the desk was right behind her, but as soon as some of her weight was off his legs, Arlo slid back with the chair and she was able to step away from him completely.
Unfortunately, her legs just didn't want to carry her and as soon as Arlo's hands, which had been supporting her hips, let go of her, she stumbled uncontrollably to the side and could only barely hold onto the desk to keep from falling over. Fortunately, she didn't have to hold on for long, though, because shortly after, Arlo was at her side and lifted her back into his arms, bridal style.
"Itâs okay, I got you." Startled and worried, his eyes looked down at her and gratefully she let her head fall against his shoulder.Â
No matter how many times she fell, Arlo was always there to catch her. And she meant that literally. Even before they had gotten together last winter, she had often found herself in his strong arms when her clumsiness caused her to trip over her own feet or she ran into him, completely distracted by her work.
She was so incredibly lucky to have someone like him by her side.
Pressed tightly against his chest, Arlo carried her over to his room. As soon as they stepped through the door, they were greeted by what was normally pleasantly cool air, but right now was far too cold for her. A shiver ran through her body and goosebumps spread on her arms and seeking warmth, she curled even more against Arlo.
Who, of course, noticed this immediately and a worried frown appeared between his eyes.
"Are you cold?"
She nodded, ashamed. It was terribly hot outside and everyone probably wished they had a room like Arlo's that was built against a ruin so it was always nice and cool in the summer, and here she was, wishing she had something warmer to wear.
"Then it's time we got you to bed. I'll just see if I have something more comfortable for you to wear, okay?" Gently, he set her down on his bed and then, to her bewilderment, disappeared from the room again.Â
The soft mattress and cosy blanket invited her to just lie down, but she resisted the urge. She only had to hold out for a few more minutes, then she could lie down.
She could do that.
Arlo came back quickly, with a glass of water in one hand and a bundle of clothes in the other.
"Here, you should really drink something. I don't want you to get dehydrated too." With these words he handed her the glass and with trembling hands she reached for it. She had to hold it with both hands to keep from dropping it, her left hand stinging lightly at the movement and then gratefully drained the glass completely. She hadn't even noticed how dry her throat was.
"Very nice." Arlo took the glass from her again, set it down on the shelf above his bed and then held out the first piece of clothing to her. "Here, Sam always has some spare clothes here, I'm sure she won't mind if you borrow one of her shorts for a night. And then I brought you this one too." He held the second item of clothing out to her and her eyes lit up.
He had brought her his grey sweater!
She loved that one. It was all soft and warm and always smelled wonderful after him, as he loved wearing it as much as she did.
"Thought you'd be happy about that." He chuckled fondly and handed her the comfortable clothes and set about putting on something else as well.
Unfortunately, her heavy arms wouldn't cooperate and she couldn't even manage to take off her current t-shirt. She grumbled in frustration and looked over at Arlo for help.Â
"Arlo?" God, her voice was hoarse.
"Yes, darling?" He was just pulling his own shirt over his head and she got the pleasure of watching his back, muscles working as he searched in his closet for a new shirt. She couldn't help but stare.
This was definitely a sight she would never get sick of.
"Sweetheart?" Questioningly, Arlo turned to her after she failed to answer, and sheepishly, she looked to the side.
"I... I need help."
God, she felt so helpless. She couldn't even change herself anymore.
Arlo's gaze softened.
"Of course." Without putting on a new shirt, he came back over to her and bent down to grab the hem of her t-shirt. Effortlessly, he pulled it over her head and then gently helped her free her arms from it. As soon as her upper body was free, goosebumps covered her and she shivered slightly.
Arlo quickly rubbed his wonderfully warm hands over her upper arms to chase away the goosebumps, looking at her questioningly.
"The bra too?"
She nodded. She hated sleeping in a bra.
"Okay." Arlo bent his knees a little more so he was more at her level, then reached behind her back to work on the clasp of her bra.
With that, his now bare chest was right in front of her face, and she felt the warmth radiating from him, drawing her in. She would have liked to touch him, to trace the long scar that ran from his left shoulder down to his chest, ending just above his heart, as she had done so many times before, but as it was, she couldn't even lift her arms to change. So she was content to lean forward a bit and press her cheek against his warm skin.
A happy sigh escaped her. The skin to skin contact felt wonderful and she could hear the calm, strong heartbeat of him. A deep chuckle rumbled in his chest, filling her with warmth, and he let her stay there for a moment, even though her bra had long since come undone.
"Feels good?" A fond laugh resonated in his voice and she hummed contentedly.
The heartbeat beneath her ear soothed her and her eyes fell closed. She could have fallen asleep sitting right here, but a large hand came to cup her cheek and pull her away from the strong, warm chest.
She whined in protest.
Another warm laugh rang out.
"I'm sorry, darling, we can go right back to cuddling as soon as we get you changed. Come on, we're almost done." Arlo managed to dress her in his sweater and change her pants, but how, she couldn't say.
Her body was getting heavier and her uncoordinated movements were probably more of a hindrance than a help, but then he was finally satisfied and tucked her under the covers. She heard the rustle of clothes, the light was turned off, and then Arlo finally slipped into bed beside her.
Strong arms pulled her on top of him and surprised she realised that he hadn't put on a new shirt and she was now lying on his bare chest, her ear pressed back against the same place it had been a moment ago. Her body relaxed completely and with the last of her strength she turned her head to press a soft kiss to his scar.
"Sleep well, my sweet little builder. I'll watch over you." A long, firm kiss on her mop of hair was the last thing she felt before she fell into a deep, exhausted sleep, Arlo's arms wrapped protectively around her.
And when the shadows tried to haunt her again, there were strong arms and a gentle voice that drove them away and what remained was the feeling of warmth and safety.
#bad things happen bingo#bad things happen bingo: stumbling and staggering#my time at portia#mtap#mtap arlo#my time at portia arlo#mtap builder#mtap female builder#matp builder Elenya#arlo my love#blood#hurt/comfort#lots of comfort
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