#might write i think thats abt all ill be able to do

[gemharvest]

Fuuuck I wish I did more than draw and play games I am so fucking. Yeah I need that sleep.

[liquidstar]

a friend who'd wait :)

[jellitchi]

vat7k designs in my head...

i thought their canon designs were a eensy weensy bit Unpolished so i made these mostly for myself. erm if u rly want it i think varian is 19 here, hugo 19, nuru 18, yong 12.

i also made rhem all playlists and had to draw them a cover so thats what the last img is I linked each of em under my notes for all of em... Under the cut is Like a Huge Infodump of notes i have for each chara,,,,,,

i kept varians design basically the same, i dislike the design w the orange neck thing so i just Nuked it😭... Here's Varians playlist

Hugos design i just wanted to put him in something more Loose. hes a thief, a professional escape artist. i dont think wearing clunky metal is ideal for him. i also gave him a prosthetic arm (blond w no arm design trope!) but u cant see it in the ref so i added another drawing of him in his under layering👍 i vaguely referenced russian(?) clothes for him as well... Yeah not too much changed w him i just tried to make him slippery-er. Here's Hugo's playlist

yong came relatively easy to me, if it wasn't obvious i did rip gaming from g*nshin's hoodie. i thought the lion hood was Adorable and freaking perfect for what i had in mind for hos character. since the og notes said the fire kingdom is loosely Chinese inspired i basically just kept that. i mashed tgt a buncha diff dynasties though sorry for how inconsistent i was... i think he looks Okay. anyways i changed yongs role a bit, ill explain why im adjusting some of their roles later but i kept yong as the Jinx Type character. hes the eldest in his family and has a buncha younger siblings, hes a lion dancer and does performances w his family/siblings. he rly like special effects n keeps tryna incorporate his fireworks into their performances (it flops and he has to sew up the dmg) ill explain more of yongs role in another post maybe shrugs... Here's Yong's Playlist

miss nuru was a bit of a struggle for me i might share my full design process with her coz i did a Bunch of mockups for her😭😭😭... i didnt have a specific country of reference for her but i chose to make her vaguely south asian inspired. i also really wanted to keep the sheer fabric w the star / constellation map. i love that idea its so cute so shes still technically the navigator. but she also wields a sword too, fencing or whatever. (her and varian r Huge Cass fangirls which is probably why she started tryna use a sword (snuck out to watch cass compete) Okay ill talk abt this later) in my head, okay ill Probably make a whole nother post talking abt how im interpreting/writing each chara, but in my head i think nuru is the youngest and her kingdom's archivist. shes mostly in charge of like Her kingdoms history / artifacts / etc. ok im getting too side tracked ill save the lore dump for later but thats Nurus role in the party. Here's Nuru's Playlist

uhm below i made their character stats mostly to help me with planning / role developing. the yellow is their base stats the color behind is their end stats i guess. i was gonna explain my reasoning for their stats but ermm this post is kinda Really long so sorry😭... varian max int for obvious reasons, also max charisma just coz i feel like u kinda learn a thing or two being around a couple manipulators and spending time in jail idk shrugs... (also lets not forget the "ud b surprised what ppl would do for a cookie!") Hugo slippery guy, if a brick is thrown at him as hes running hes gonna try n run faster to shatter it, his mindset is Run Run Run! i think hes relatively agile too but yeah mostly a Speedster. i think he n varian got no Physical strength varian maybe just like A little coz Farm boy but I rly doubt quirin is making him do a Lotta heavy lifting. yong has incredible stamina and agility because hed a performer. nuru is the strongest coz this team would literally Flop without a proper Offense😭... i think varian n hugo r able to outwit plenty of their opponents but i think nuru is pretty good in a fight, same w yong. Yeah Okay Sorry for a Long Long Post thanks hope u guys enjoy

[send-up-my-heart-to-you]

in honor of world mental health day heres my story below the cut :)

kinda hard to talk abt this cause its somewhat triggering and ik theres gonna be ppl who think im just an emo 15 y/o, but i swear im not tryna be dramatic. im tryna make peace with my past, and also show others that despite everything, you can make it.

also, im tryna show that healing isnt all sunshine and daises. theres the good, the bad, and the ugly. you can and will survive it all

tw: sewerslide attempt, abusive parents, self harm, violence ig ?

ive died two times in my life so far.

the first time, it was my parents who killed me. december 31st, 2020, ~1.15am. i remember dragging across the hallway in my house, a throbbing sensation in my thigh, the mark already turning purple. i walked past my younger sisters' room, where my cousin was sleeping over with them, and i remember climbing into bed, hugging my pillow, crying against the pillow. that night, it was my innocence that died. my childhood happiness, per se. i remember swearing to myself in those final moments before darkness that id never forget that day. december 31st, 2020, ~1.15am.

the time between my two deaths was filled with barely anything other than self loathing. i remember trying to set goals for myself, reasons to live. i tried out new hobbies. i was never able to meet those goals, and all the hobbies bored me.

i met some of the best people ever during that time. i also met some of the worst. i might sound dramatic, cause im young and impressionable, but the people i met during that time genuinely shaped who i am. i dont wanna act like im an old soul or anything, cause im sure that in a few years imma look back and think, "shit, i was really immature." but i matured faster than others my age. i found myself faster, found things i liked, found love, found out i hated being in love.

and then i died again.

this was a recent death. june 22, 2023. my mental health had been deteriorating for months prior – i still have scars on my arms.

it was a slower death compared to the last one. i started dying at around 4.00pm. it went on for an hour before the pain became unbearable and i confessed to my parents. i didnt want to go to the hospital, i was scared of what theyd do. i threw up seven times before giving in at about 8.00pm. they took me to the hospital. i was told told me i was lucky to be alive, that my liver was still functional. i didnt feel lucky. i felt like death wouldve been less painful. my head was spinning

i died in that hospital bed, at ~9.40pm, with my eyes wide open, my mom sitting near me. my thoughts at the time were along the lines of this:

im quite literally a child in the eyes of the world. ive done nothing. i have a psychology exam tomorrow. i have a book im halfway done writing, and a new story thats been brewing in my head for months. but if i die now, ill never get to finish any of that. ill never succeed. ill never be able to spit in the faces of the girls who bullied me, of the teachers who doubted me. why would i do this to myself? why would i rob myself of that chance?

so i died. but not the same way as last time. this time, it was the poisonous me that died, the me that whispered in my ear that my life would amount to nothing, that everyone else had it better, that you either succeed or you dont.

and when i died the second time, something happened that didnt happen the first time.

i was reborn.

at the time of me writing this, its been less than four months since my rebirth. in those four months:

i decided to change the world somehow. not necessarily by finding the cure to cancer or anything, id be satisfied if it was just a cute lil video i made going viral. as long as theres someone out there who i changed

i finished about six chapters of my book

i began writing the story that had been brewing in my head

i started lifting weights to make myself feel better abt how i looked

i got closer to god. stopped missing prayer

i moved schools, leaving behind both bullies and friends

i started focusing on my studies

i tried to fix my relationships with my parents and my siblings

dont get me wrong. none of these are completed. im still an extreme case of nobody-ness. i havent finished writing either of my stories. i still skip out on working out a lot i still only do the bare minimum in terms of religion. im still struggling to catch up in school to make up for my three years of burnout. my relationship with my family is still kinda weird

and i still feel like im dying sometimes. its not like i changed overnight and all those suicidal thoughts and feelings of drowning just disappeared when the sunrays came up. theres still a lot of issues in my life.

but i have faith in myself. in my ability to change the things that can be changed. in creating happiness where theres room for it to be made.

and if finding happiness a losing battle?

well, ill fight like its the fucking boudican revolt.

[mightbeorphanedidk]

Backstory rn i want details fandoms and all

HOOOOOO BOY

Alright sit yourselves down kids

IT STARTED IN 2020.

Dsmp phase, my first fic was a rewrite of the plot of the dsmp (self-insert ofc) with my own spin on things. I wrote it because quarantine and I didn't have much else to do, so I pulled up docs on my crappy windows 2010 model (it was so bad that upon starting it up, it would start overheating. Opening more than three tabs at a time caused it to crash) and began writing. Learned I loved to write, so I kept going with it.

2021 I had my hazbin hotel phase. Wrote a fucking like 400 page fanfic that was... (IM ASHAMED.) CHARLASTOR... I would say it wasnt them directly but it was, Alastor never stopped smiling and loved his mama, and "Charlotte" had her parents abandon her. The story was so shit. I tried to see if I could rewrite it, maybe change it a lot, but nope. So much shit happened that was so unnecessary I couldn't save it. I think the story was just me trying out different troupes and prompts.

HOWEVER, i did write shorter fanfics of the two (yeah i wrote a fanfic of my own fanfic fuck off okay leave me alone) that were somewhat OKAY. Like, they werent the best, but theh sure as hell had better structure than the first fic.

2022 i had a... actually what DID i have.. OH FJCK RIGHT

ENCANTO. THAT SHIT WAS SOOO BAD... I actually preordered a Bruno funko pop so thats cool. NOT RELEVANT. I MADE THIS BOMBASS STORY ABT THE CANDLE BEING EVIL AND IT WAS SOOOOO GOOD DUDE. LIKE SO GOOD. I LOVED IT.

And then i lost it. It’s gone. Actually i might be able to find it give me a moment.. found it. 200 PAGES OF DIFFERENT FICS I WROTE. There are 6 different stories in here. Christ these were actually kinda good

In late 2022 and all of 2023 i got into detroit become human. Uhh let me think.. OVER 1000 FUCKING PAGES OF THESE ROBOTS. 1000 pages, like 90 different fics, but only 23 were released. May release more. THESE WERE ACTUALLY GOOD. I LIKED A GOOD MAJORITY OF THEM.

And that brings us to 2024. What started as "hey dr facilier reminds me of Alastor ill write a fic" turned into a revisitation of my 2021 phase. Get me the fuck out of here.

Now, you may be asking "bruh didn't you write ur own stories tf" I DID! titles were never my strong suit but ill list the ones I wrote anyways

Edit: realised listing the titles was a risk cus i shared them w my irl friend LMAOO

1. Dark Romance, WIP

2. Action and sci-fi, completed, 500 pages

3. Slice of Life, never completed, 60 pages

4. Musical Story Attempt: 40 pages, never complete

5. Action, Dark romance, never completed, 120 pages

Ones I DIDN'T SHARE with her:

Identical Opposites (again, titles were not my thing lol): Romance, never completed, 300 pages

Thats it lol. Yeah every villian had their backstory DSMP was mine LMAOOO i blame you quarantine

Eh, but honestly, if I didn't get into writing, idk where tf i would be. Probably dead 💀

[yinora-evergreen]

Requests + rules (requests are: CLOSED)

hey everyone!! this is a more updated version of my requests page, aka i made some changes and by now, i'm a bit more experienced with writing, so yeah! that's pretty much all <3

so far ill write for characters from:

buffyverse [buffy the vampire slayer + angel]

dnd honor among thieves

genshin impact

one piece [live action]

voltron legendary defender [only paladins + allura]

obey me

spider verse

agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

heartstopper

the witcher

avatar the last airbender

legend of korra

Percy Jackson show

fallout tv show

Dead Boy Detectives

Supernatural (season 1-6, first half s7. will update the further i get)

ghostbusters afterlife

ghostbusters frozen empire

Deadpool

Deadpool & Wolverine

Arcane

bayverse tmnt

tmnt 2012

rottmnt

Agatha All Along

Shazam! (+shazam! fury of the gods)

there are more though its late and i cant think of them right now, but if anyone would like to request anything id love to give it a try.

you can also request for anything that isn't on here if you want since i might be able to write for it anyway, if that makes sense.

what i mean is that even though there is a chance that i cant/wont write for it, there is also a chance that i will so dont be afraid to ask!

i would also like to add that:

english is not my first language so if there are any typos or anything you can always let me know

im a beginner in writing fanfic however i really want to get better at it, so if you do have even a vague idea for a request or a trope or au id love to try writing for it

i mainly want to write fluff, id also like to write angst with a fluffy ending or just try out angst in general [i know the first fic i posted here is angst but still-]

i don't mind writing things that are a little darker (for example things like traumatic events) though only a vague description of having been through it, I WILL NOT write it "currently" happening in the fic. there are a few small exceptions, but not many

fics based on songs [or specific parts of lyrics]

poly, or any kind of queer relationship

pregnancy/implied pregnancy

suggestive on that note, here's what i WON'T write (a few will be repeated from the list of what i will write, so apologies for that if it annoys you):

incest

pedophilia

full on smut

graphic fighting scenes (i suck at writing them when i'm not in the mood T.T)

sexual assault (unless it's a vague memory/trauma for a character, for example when a character talks to reader abt why reader has been hesitant for touch and its just a heartfelt moment of opening up to eachother about what happened if that makes sense) i can write for any reader [gn, fem, male, nonbinary, etc]

ofcourse if anyone has any tips or any feedback on any future fics then please do let me know! im open for suggestions to improve my writing skills.

anyway, thats all for now, have a great day!

[k-rhysa]

FINALLY CAUGHT UP IN RL WORK

Now i can freely write about my lovely OC Lupa for the wonderful game Obscura by the talented @rottenraccoons (within are also hc i have on the game esp regarding fractum anima)

General

Lupa's name can translate being "wolf" in latin

Named after a wolf bcs her story is thay before going into the mountains she lived with her own group like wolves do. But now she's separated and drifts around a lot (hence the more guarded nature)

This background works so well with Keir's route she fits right in with the guy and mouse hole. She does not tolerate Cirrus at all.

Fractum Anima fluctuates in flares? I think? So on one day she can seem fine, run around, talk shit abt keir, handle kids fine. And the next she's somewhat crippled, tired, and overall in pain. But she will push through it just because and maybe thats why its progressing exponentially (disclaimer: i have a chronic illness so i think it maybe similar?)

On to per route

Keir

Easy fits right in, bcs she searched for trouble.

Will not take shit and will give shit at ANYONE

Stresses Keir up badly, bcs even in a crippled state Lupa will try to be useful

Cirrus

No, just no

Saw him, looked at him, went the other way, and ran.

Lupa may want to be useful in her state. But only when she knows its not out of exploitation.

Oleander

Conflicted? Oleander seems like someone that hides a lot, and changes a lot in convenience either just bcs, as intimidation, or out of fear or cautiousness

Distrust = her own distrust. So they wont necessarily work? But bcs oleander is... him. Lupa might take it into consideration

A veeery opposite stuff going on there.

Francesco

Baby, immediately must protect mode

Not necessarily romantic, but she would guard him like a sister would? Just must protect

At the same time a distance, bcs she can see sweetness but she is unsure how gullible the man might be. Or how trustworthy his personal guard dogs are..

Those are my thoughts as i await the second chapter. CANNOT W A I T for it to continue and able to see where the story goes.

[dullahandyke]

cant be bothered to make mulitple posts. have one post with many contents, it is like a treasure chest. also whoops got long teehee take a readmore

BOOBS. boobs. tits and boobs. soft and eueueuugughghghgh fun to squish and heavy and smell nice. society if i had someone to fool around with. kissing doesnt sound that appealing but if i played w someones boobs it would fix me i think. sorry. not sorry actually #liveyourtruth. whaever im 19 i can post abt whatever i want n what i wanna post abt is boobs

not to hammer home an old thought but god i wish i lived in a town or a village or a city... theres literally fuck all to do here unless i wanna bug my parents for a ride into town so instead i just sit inside n its kind of detrimental to my social life n indepence. like on the plus side, i might have considered taking up vaping in a calculated 'swapping one vice for another' way if living in the middle of a field didnt make getting my hands on any on a regular basis so utterly implausible, so like its good detterant in that way, but also like man do you know how psyched i would be to be able to walk to the cinema. walk to any store where i could buy things. u know how long google maps says it would take to walk to my local library? two hours. cant even go anywhere to hang out on a whim or without enough reason to justify bothering my parents abt it. like all going well ill hopefully be in the city for college come september but like. killing and bitingggggg

graduating in a week and AUGH on one hand out the gap waheyyy only a month until exams are DONE FOREVER (until college) but on the other hand, fuck man im never gonna see this school again, i barely hang out w my friends outside of school unless its someones 18th which in practice means that after the debs thats IT!!!!!oh my god im going to DIE, i need to go find cliodna on instagram so i can follow her because shes nice. ill be sitting in random classrooms in school lately n be hit w the fucking melancholy because im like oh boy soon i'll never see this place again and its like... intellectually i know that i am not one to dwell on shit like this after its happened, as evidenced by the 'oh god my friends are all going off to college, itll only be me and the kiddies in the youth theatre next year' crisis i had last spring, after which i was Fine Actually and rarely even thought of the ppl who left bcos i have the object permanence of a 2 month old, and in practice this summer is gonna be the same as every summer is and i didnt see a single one of my irls during summer last year and i was fine but like.... idk man knowing its the end.... kills

speaking of which, oh my GOD the leaving starts in *checks watch* 22 DAYS. FUCK. like the points i need for my course are actually pitiful like but 🥺 wanna do good... do i regularly and loudly disparage the english course and maintain that the only real measure of one's writing capabilities is your own evaluation? yes! do i still want a H1? also yes! it would be the easiest thing in the world if i was less opinionated but luckily i AM that opinionated. also god. biology the day before history.... death. ive not been paying attention to either class for literally the past few months, im gonna have to kick it into high gear when i graduate bcos lbr im gonna get my shit together enough to pay attention until im not in school anymore.

thinking about boobs again. would like to hold some. an irl's school shirt keeps shifting so i can see her boobs thru the button gaps and im heeueuugueugh

eating a mini viennese ice cream or whatever its called n its good 👍🏻 hard to type w tho

boobs again. hhhahwhauhghah!

my ass hurt. done.

[nameification]

🌈💞💌 for the fic writer asks?

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

this one applies to both polaroids and the taken fic but like. for the taken one specifically I am so disappointed bc. I only did the chapter for ren and I really wanted to add the grian chapter but I just couldn't bring myself to do it and there's an entire scene where I use my knowledge abt 19th century clockworks and also what I've been told abt menory illnesses and just 19th century knowledge but I cannot bring myself to work on it no matter what. I also remember planning the etho chapter because I had Ideas for that. for polaroids I had like. a sort of corkboard in my mind abt just what to do and I wanna rewrite it and then ALSO This Place Is Not A Place Of Honor and I have like. one chapter written and a few illustrations already when I just. gave up

💞what's the most important part of the story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammer etc), the figurative language

OKAY SO when reading, it is always to me character and/or grammar. I've clicked off so many fics i thought would be interesting bc the characters were just Wrong. I can excuse grammar sometimes and if I can tell a fic will just have shit grammar I might click on it out of morbid curiosity (ahem that one time I liveblogged a fic in class) but I've built up enough resilience against subpar grammar to be. fine with it as a reader

as a writer, what I said above but also the figurative language because there's something about using a metaphor that hits just right for that specific character in that specific moment that feels so satisfying. when writing characters you don't want them to feel Off in a way that would make a reader unsatisfied and its okay to have a few grammar errors in fic (especially common ones, fic is free and beta readers are hard to come by) but just. be careful

💌share something about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited

OKAY so I actually have plans for some star rail fics but they're not fully realized yet and they're going to be infinitely more planned than what I have planned as fics for poor alhaitham but for now I wanna do clara & svarog fics where its just slice of life (and then a fic of when clara is grown up bc I write angst for a reason. robodad and his human child give me so much joy I love them So Much), a luocha and welt fic, a welt and void archives fic (copius amounts of Gay. old men yaoi. I have to finish apho 2 before this one because I still haven't done that) and also a fic with kafka (and maybe elio) in it (the heavens knows I'll be able to finish... one of those. maybe two)

anyways here's some snippets from wips wherein I hurt alhaitham the one on the left like. half-scrapped but only half-scrapped cause I still wanna work on it. it'll just take A While to do so

(I actually really like the writing style I chose for the one on the left cause its like. dottore's thought process and inner mind and. actually I want to show more I love how I wrote the first part so much and technically I can call it done but it would be injustice to the hurt part of hurt/comfort if I just stopped there)

I need to write in this style mor. it works best when the character is acting-to the beat of my vocabulary-Out There and Wild but a "softer" scene has been laid out by past me and I think I can utilize the way I write him to turn him into a threat even if 3rd person limited only limits us to outsider reactions of his character

actually just. about this fic in general is that I plan for it to have 3 really long chapters with the third being the longest (because thats where all the comfort will take place) and the first two are gonna be strictly in third person limited while the third one will also probs be 3pl except I change which character that perspective belongs to but I'm gonna try to limit myself to as few pov shifts as possible

oh god its 130am here. I like to ramble don't I. If I feel it I might ramble in the morning

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

236 and i have a love hate relationship. I refuse to read it but i know everything that happens 😭im just scared because if i read it in full i know ill sob like a baby but ill definitely read it before that season comes out

i hope the next time around Mappa takes their time with breaks and all :/ even if we only get an episode a month or the end product is still not 100% - i’d rather experience everything to its fullest potential

#sukugo is on par w stsg to me 😭 one of my favorite dynamics Ever

YES!!!! stsg lives in my head fr but sukugo… the way they are polar opposites yet also the closest people that can truly understand each other… lots to unravel and loads of potential there

#one thing abt akutami is he WILL not miss an opportunity to create the most homoerotic fight i’ve seen in my life 🙏🙏

i think i read a fic or a hc once (i forget who wrote it) where sukuna got off on fighting gojo and ari it was chefs kiss. perfection. i need to find it again. gege really cooked with that fight (still on a rollercoaster of emotions ab how gojo d*ed ; some days im completely behind it other days im like. wtf.)

#what if they turn sukuna vs gojo into a movie … i would Cry out of joy

jjk0 -esque… i can see the vision.. i just need that fight to be done justice thats all i beg for 😩😩

SOOOOO REAL OF YOU ANON i’m glad we agree on the sukugo dynamic they make me INSANE. the fact that gojo genuinely wanted to teach him about love…… that he wanted to reach out to him and save him from his isolation. goshhh they mean so much to me………. :(((

OOOOH AND AND AND i think i might know the fic you’re talking abt…. maybe not but this one fic on ao3 is what got me into sukugo and still one of my favorite jjk fics 🙏 the writing and characterization are so good….. i can’t find it anymore either though :’3 will try looking more later!!! pretty sure i have some screenshots of it somewhere…….

but yes pls take as much time as you need to prepare yourself before reading 236 ….. i genuinely sobbed. like actually. i couldn’t speak 😭😭 but it’s SUCH a wonderful chapter both art wise and dialogue wise….. i won’t survive seeing it animated i fear </3 (ALSO pls do yourself a favour and read the chapter on tcb because their translation is easily the best one 🙏)

AND HEAVY ON MAPPA’S PRODUCTION i’m begging them to give their employees a break next season….. i wouldn’t mind a monthly episode at all. just want them to be able to feel satisfied w their own hard work T_T !!

[videostak]

hmm actually thinking maybe itd be better to have my record player on the right of my drawer, on my shelf that i already have like just there only thing is i wonder if the power cable is long enough. im mainly thinking cause 1 i think having a lil table in the corner could create more clutter especiallly having a writing table n stuff right in front of it and 2 having a table in front of it would make it hard to reach the record player (and whatever id put under the record player) and would vice versa make it hard to get into the chair to use the table in front of it. buuut like always ill see and think abt it. guess then the next thing ill look for is a table to use while sitting on my chair. and then from there see how i feel abt adding more furniture to that space. i think having the record player to the side would be nice especially cause my records would be directly under it since thats where they are now so yaya. but wondering if having it on the shelf(with the wires of it running off my shelf to the other side of the room to the power strip) would make it look annoyingly messy and tangled n stuff. like hmm much thinking. think for the meantime soon i will set it up in that corner and see how it feels and keep it like that b4 even being in the state to where id start looking for furniture. cause since my dad has carpenting skills and always likes being able to use them im gonan ask him if he can build shelves for my tv table and he def will cause he offered to b4 i even found a piece of furniture so like theres gonna be a period of time where i will have that furntire out of my room while he does that. tho idk he might be in a pissy mood cause he geets annnoyed when i buy furniture from the thrift n stuff. like i understand why cause it costs money when he can easily go out of his way to find what im looking for but ill describe to him what i want in shape and length and then he’ll show me smthn that doesnt match that description at all and then he’ll get annoyed when i dont want it lol. like the other day he showed me smthn and i was like wow it looks neat but i dont think ill be able to use it cause its not long enough to hold my tv and speakers next  to it and he was like “why do you need speakers?” lol and then b4 that i mentioned wanting a circular table thats small and he showed me this table he had that was rectangular and long and when i was like noo thats not exactly what i had in mind he got annoyed and just like went silent lol. 

[foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland]

long ranty post ahead abt my own experiences w learning instruments and playinf sports

dude yknow what i miss but also dont. playing sports n playing instruments. bc ive done quite a few different of each just in the past. like i was actually a Big football kid when i was around 5 but hated the club i went 2 bc i was the only girl and basically couldnt play bc even at fucking 5 i wasnt treated as an equal player. but also i didnt rlly mind that it was more so how aggressive it was and i didnt like being pushed around n kicked n shit. and i also played cricket which i liked i just timed it badly bc it was around a year where my immune system just fuckin gave up on me and i was sick like every other week and it out me off cricket bc i always felt so guilty for not being able 2 play it that often. n i also played tag rugby which i loved i just hated my coach she was an asshole she made these like 9 yr old kids do some baddd shit. like one time we played a match against another school and it was a cold wet rainy muddy day and i had played a couple times only and was already in so much pain and i went to her fucking in tears bc i had so many scrapes and i could barely feel my hands from the cold and every time i was passed the ball it literally hurt so fucking much and she ucking LAUGHED at me and told me 2 shut up and deal w it bc i agreed 2 play tag rugby so i was gonna do it under any conditions. like i wanted 2 kill her in that moment and i fucking shouldve i remember that moment so fucking clearly bc it was the absolute worst for me i could barely fucking do school work for ages after that bc my hands hurt so fucking much from not being allowed a goddam break when i was 9 years old. anyways yea sports is fun tho its just unfortunate situations. and i rlly wanna do cricket again or atleast like rounders or smt. man americans r actually right w this one tho baseball sounds so much better than rounders rounders sounds like a baby sports baseball sounds like. cool. anyways also w instruments it was a similar sorta thing. i played piano 4 likeee 3 or 4 years and basically picked up nothing lol other than basic music theory but thats expected bc i was like 7 or 8 on average . i also played the flute for another like 2 or 3 years which i was better at and actually played at concerts n shit but i quit that too bc i hated the stress i got from it bc i hated practicing and i hated the structure of my lessons and i hated my schools wind band i was forced 2 join and fucking guilt tripped not to leave bc i was the best player or w/e even tho i fucking hated that bc it put so much pressure on me at like 10 yrs old bc i did all the loud melody bits so if i made a mistake everyone would notice and i hated it. i also tried the cello and the guitar 4 like a month each which i also hated. now im explaining all this i kinda sound like a rich snob. well my initial point was gonna b how sports and music didnt feel 2 different. like ill use tag rugby and the flute 4 my example bc i did those things at around the same time and they were the ones i cared abt the most. but like. it felt like there was a sorta path drawn out for me in both cases. sometimes w the sheet music and sometimes w the playing field. altho i didnt know how 2 sight read and i am also not very observant so u might think oh ok i followed the path drawn out 4 me. but in both cases it felt like i was winging it int he same way. 4 the flute i always wrote the note names (and had many meltdowns over being forced 2 play w sight reading even tho i didnt wanna learn 2 sight read bc i could always just write the note names) but id write it out and instead of like. reading ahead. i just played what was in front of me. and it felt like each time i played it was like. a match or smth and i was just holding out and holding out and skipping over mistakes until i got to the end. and id never plan out the route id take first it was always just my reaction time i relied on which to be fair was not a good idea bc i have dogshit reaction time. but in tag rugby id do essentially the same. when i was on the offensive team, id usually be in front since i was good at avoiding being touched which i realise now is probably a result of my parents bc i was like constantly ready 2 avoid bein hit n shit. but i was always in front but i could never just see the whole playing field so i focused on like. exactly what was directly around me and just depended on my reaction time to avoid being tagged out. and idk i was just thinking. the exhaustion i felt after playing the flute for so long and never being taught how to breathe properly only that i should and the exhaustion i felt after playing sports for so long and never being told how to improve and only what i did wrong and the exhaustion i always felt after being in my house 4 so long and never being told what i was supposed to do and only how everything i was doing was wrong and. yea. connections between childhood trauma and playing music and playing sports.

[stellaferous]

GLADION HEADCANONS TIME !!! ill just be writing the ones that come in mind and ill probably add more (note: this is mainly a combination of game and anime gladion)

- he's good at drawing, though unlike Lillie who draws more realistically (in the anime) Gladion's artworks are much more stylized

- ^ most of his art is either of his family or of his own Pokemon and i feel like he'd enjoy drawing in dynamic angles

- Gladion's hand arthritis thing is just a consequence of him practicing to throw Silvally's type changing discs (he's been practicing since it was a Type: Null), in the games i feel like its also him wanting to choke the hell out of the player character because of that dumbass, unwavering smiley face

- since Gladion's probably becoming President of the Aether Foundation i like to think that he goes on similar journeys to Gary, where he explores different regions and learns more about the Pokemon residing there (maybe Lusamine gives him tasks to do) and ofc he's gonna encounter legendaries and mythicals

- ^ however, despite him having this new goal he still focuses on battles first and foremost and sometimes his journeys bring him to elite four members, gym leaders, etc and thats where he challenges them and improve as a trainer while simultaneously getting ready to become President (like, imagine him meeting Lance and he teaches him about dragon type mons, or he meets gary/goh and they talk abt pkmn, etc) also i think it'd be cool if he somehow ends up in Hisui and he gets himself a Hisuian Zorua

- since Gladion can canonically skate i might as well headcanon him as being able to skateboard as well because it looks cool and Gladion would want to do it + be good at it

- Gladion should obviously be good at foraging for edible berries, etc and even though he's likely forced to eat a variety of meals depending on what is available he honestly seems like a picky eater

- Gladion's fanny pack/red bag thing has endless space like Brock's and he keeps things like camping materials, Silvally's discs, etc -- i like to think that he just carries around a lighter to start a fire + he can stuff in pots and pans for cooking

- speaking about cooking Gladion has to be a good cook since he spends a good chunk of his time alone, but at the same time i feel like he also just lives on instant noodles

- since gladion has no trouble wearing full black in the alolan sun and wearing ripped clothes in winter, i'd say that he has a very high tolerance to extreme temperatures and because of this he can sometimes prioritize fashion over priority

- it's canon that Gladion can sew, probably just to mend some small holes in his clothes, but i like to think that he's worked on his skills so much that he's now capable of making full blown outfits/costumes -- he probably made the sleeveless hoodie he always wears + his ripped black sweater during the ep where he found Mohn, and perhaps he could even be the sygna suit/fashion designer on Pasio in PMEX, which explains why Lillie has so many outfits !! because he keeps making them for her !!

- i'd say the whole aether family cares about fashion to an extent, and Gladion is no exception; he may have deviated from his family by preferring darker clothes instead of white but since he grew up wearing fancy upper class outfits, he definitely knows all the ways to tie a tie (like his tail knot in his formal anime outfit), colour coordinating outfits, etc

THATS ALL I CAN THINK OF NOW I MIGHT MAKE A NEW POST IF I COME UP WITH MORE/OTHER HEADCANONS OF MINE RESURFACE

[everythingsinred]

@tardytothepardy replied “Is there like, one kinda monolithic Slavic vampire story that Dracula draws from or is it a combination of all kinds of stories?”

sorry for doing a separate post but i think ive been wanting to scream about this interest of mine for YEARS so.... ill try to be brief but i have SO many thoughtS!

ill try to specify what i mean by saying: vampires as we know them are actually ONLY slavic (or generally eastern european, because romanian and some greek and hungarian influence is undeniable and they aren’t slavs).

that might be controversial of me to say but its true. vampires are a part of slavic folklore and they dont exist in other cultures (slavic vampires are not all called vampires, bc vampir is the serbian word for the creature and other languages have different names but theyre essentially the same monster). that is NOT to say that creatures similar to vampires dont exist in other cultures. they sure do! blood-drinking demons exist in plenty of cultures, but that makes sense. humans of all cultures have always considered blood to be a symbol of our humanity and vitality. a creature that drinks that is pretty terrifying and an intuitive story to tell across cultures. but just like the demons of christianity look different from demons in japanese or mayan cultures, the “vampire”-ish creatures in other cultures arent really vampires in the same sense. i have no issue calling them vampires if were talking abt creatures that drink blood, but they are essentially different creatures. 

the “classic” vampire, or the “dracula” that everyone thinks of, is pretty simple: a (sometimes wealthy) dead person (walking corpse) who uses their fangs to feed on the blood of living humans in the night and sleeps in a coffin during the day. they have shape-shifting abilities, able to turn into animals. they can be kept away with certain plants, like garlic, and can be killed with a stake to the heart, decapitation, or burning them to ashes (ideally all of the above, just to be safe).

every single bit of that is SLAVIC, or eastern european. the basic eastern european vampire looks pretty much the same throughout the cultures, with a little bit of variation. the biggest changes come from how exactly they come to be.

i made this post bc i was signing up for spring classes and one class was about the myth of the vampire, which immediately interested me until i saw the curriculum, which is basically just sucking bram stoker’s dick, to be crude about it, and no reference to the cultures he used to make his dumb point. (lookie how influential he was!) the reason why i despise dracula with my whole chest is because it’s pretty clearly (at least partially, since the book is a whole thing with other themes) a xenophobic allegory for the risk that eastern european immigrants posed to the “clean and civilized” west, particularly britain. the eastern europeans, having already brought darkness and evil upon their own lands, are being drawn to the pure west, where they will corrupt the british women!  i am really shocked by how few people are able to see just how blatantly xenophobic dracula is, but whatever. an essay for another day (and i did write abt this for school actually). 

what people dont know--sadly--is that dracula is NOT the original vampire story. its not even the first WESTERN vampire story. 

this is where ill answer your question: no, slavic vampires arent a monolith, but theyre pretty similar in crucial ways. vampires stand apart from other monsters because in most folklore they used to be human. thats what makes slavic vampires different from the blood-drinking demons from other cultures. theyre zombies, essentially, which is why they sleep in coffins: they werent properly buried or baptized.

the balkan vampire mass hysteria has to do with major historical vampires (petar blagojevic and sava savanovic, namely). “real life” vampires. stories of real dead people allegedly coming back to life after being buried and causing the deaths of others in their village. people in the balkans would stake every corpse prior to burial to prevent a vampire from rising.

bram stoker took this hysteria (that gained attention because a large part of the balkans was in the austrohungarian empire, so westerners quickly found out abt it) and used it to vilify eastern european immigrants. its very important to note that bram stoker NEVER visited romania, knew nothing about romanian or slavic culture, and yet wrote a whole book where a romanian count is the main villain, pulling influence from romanian and slavic folklore without consulting any slavic or romanian people.

anyway, the way more fun thing to talk abt is how DIFFERENT slavic vampires can be, because slavs are scattered over a very large section of land (most of europe actually). the vampires in russian stories ive read dont actually have fangs! they would slit their victim’s throat and drain it into a bucket and drink it after. the vampires in the balkans often have fangs, meanwhile. many traditions have vampires rising from the dead bc of improper burials/not being good enough orthodox christians/being bitten by another vampire (another thing that is huge in pop culture nowadays). in serbia, theres plenty of traditions for keeping vampires away, using hawthorn branches and incense. our vampires have always been attractive and seductive. theres even a story (i think its russian) where a young woman falls in love with a vampire and even considers marrying him until she finds out he drinks blood! thats not something bram stoker made up either. 

russian vampires come to be because someone died without being unbaptized or without being faithful to orthodox christianity. this explains the popular idea of the crucifix repelling vampires as they are an “unholy” creature. vampires are linked with christianity in very interesting ways i wont get into rn.

the thing is vampires were essentially an invention to explain the unexplainable: that sometimes corpses dont rot the way u think they should, that people die randomly and without obvious cause, etc. so you have region-specific lore that is more general so people can understand why these things happen and how to protect themselves. basically a rundown of what the creature is, how it comes to be, and how to kill it or prevent it. 

BUT there also specific folktales that help bring the creature to life. (think of how baba yaga is a general threat to children bc she exists in the world of slavic folklore as a being who eats kids, but she also exists in detailed stories where she plays a usually villainous but at best morally ambiguous role). one of my favorite books of all time, The Forests of the Vampire, is an anthology of slavic folktales, mainly witches and vampires, which are our biggest monsters. ive been reading that book over and over since i was 8 so its definitely something i would recommend checking out for specific folktales, about vampires as well as baba yaga. telling all those stories myself would make this post way too long.

conclusion: i rly rly love vampires. ive loved them since i was a little girl. i loved twilight and anne rice and amelia atwater-rhodes and true blood as well as any YA vampire u could throw at me. i have no problem with the further evolution of the vampire myth. vampires becoming heroes, being sympathetic, being humanized, falling in love, being different are all things i LOVE. vampires of today’s pop culture are wonderful and i have a lot of affection for them. always have! write vampires! draw vampires! daydream about dating a vampire or becoming a vampire or even killing a vampire, i support that!

i only hate that dracula vilified eastern europeans using their own folklore against them, turning them into a monster aiming to corrupt and destroy the pure west. i just want dracula to be forgotten. i know that wont happen but ill explain why i hate it to as many people as i can so they can understand how harmful it is that an eastern european myth was appropriated by a westerner so he could make a xenophobic point, and that HIS story is the one remembered, not ours.

im sorry @tardytothepardy for replying with such a lengthy post but. i couldnt help it. if i felt less strongly abt it i wouldve been able to cut down more. sorry. ;-;

[awhst-alt]

I HAD THE BEST BYLER DREAM LAST NIGHT AND I REALLY WANNA SHARE IT WITH YOU ALL

it's so long (literally 2k words) so im gonna put it under the cut haha <3

so basically this would take place after mike and will start dating or something, idk exactly the time frame (i picture them being like 18 or something and this is the summer before college) and will goes to this summer arts program for like 2/3 months (i dunno how long american summer is but something like that) and its all the way far from home so there is dorms and stuff and he's "not in hawkins anymore" (no pun intended)

mike and will decide after will finishes his school they'd go to college together (cuz they're gonna be comic book artists together bc thats boyfriend shit) so throughout these months he's practically just waiting for will (<333333)

so one specific scene i remember from my dream involved will and mike getting off the bus to the school and then they hug and then mike grabs wills hand and brings him behind the bus and then he gives will a biggg kiss bc he won't be able to kiss him for 3 months. then they say they love each other and will gives him another quick kiss and is like "two kisses". they agree they'd call each other every day.

so will goes inside and mike goes back on the bus and goes home.

and basically the whole day is a whirl, until the end of it, in which mike is sitting in the kitchen near the phone waiting for like 3 hours for will to call, and will doesn't end up calling.

AND THEN IT GETS SPICYYYYY

so meanwhile at the arts program will asks like the front desk or something if he can call mike and they say phone is offlimits and they don't let him call mike

so then will goes to sleep and he's paranoid that he thinks mike is gonna hate him or something like that

mk than the next day in class there is this girl (they didn't reveal her name in the dream, ill call her stella) so stella is basically looking at will the entire class but will doesn't know it

so when they exit the class stella's like "hi" and will says "hi"

then stella says "i like your painting."

will is like rlly weirded out so he goes "thanks?"

"i um- hope this doesn't sound weird but i have no friends, do you want to be mine?"

"sure"

and then end of scene (this does not sound like a normal conversation but it's my dream so it doesn't have to make sense"

so BACK AT HAWKINS mike is still sleeping even tho it's like 3 pm because yk depressed boyfriend shit but then the PHONE RINGS and mike gets out of bed frantically and goes to the phone and he picks it up and is like "will?" and then it answers "it's el, idiot"

i feel like this is important for context but el speaks english very well now and hoppers back and she lives with hopper and not the byers anymore. ANYWAYS

el says "how's will?"

mike says "idk he didn't call"

"he didn't?"

"no, he didn't"

"okay. well maybe he will call later"

"yeah mb"

"wanna come over"

"ok"

so mike hangs up and gets changed and goes to el's house bc they r a couple o' besties and when he gets there it's like a therapy sessions bc mike usally talks to will every single day and he can't for like 3 months (unless will calls, but he's not going to) so he accepts he's gonna be depressed for 3 months and he's just talking to el about how he's gonna miss him so much and no be able to see his face and that shit

so el's like "well do u wanna do something to take ur mind off of him"

and mike's like "no im not gonna replace will" (I SCREAMED IN MY DREAM SRSLY)

but than el says "okay. guess im gonna go to the mall by myself" (ig starcourt is rebuilt by now)

and than mike bolts up and is like "fine"

"we can by something for will"

"okay yay"

so then they go to starcourt yasss!!

anyways back at the art school will is having lunch and stella is with he friends (even tho she said she doesn't have any friends) and one of her friends is like "omg did you see _____ he's so hot"

and another friend says "YESS! but ____ is cuter"

"what abt u stella? who do u have ur eyes on"

she says "byers" BUT NOOOOOOO WILL IS MIKES MAN

and they say "ew that kid who came back to life"

she says "yea. but he's cute, and shy, and once i wrap them around my finger i can get them to do anything"

so then she goes to sit down next to will at lunch

"hi will"

"hi"

"hru"

"im good"

"okay. good." and she gets upset because will goes ask how she is but she keeps her urging rage inside. and than they have this weird conversation and will is uncomfortable the whole time bc shes all like flirting with him and will is seeing someone obvi

but then she puts a hand on will's shoulder and he's shaking and then says something (idk what it is it wasn't explaining in my dream) then will stands up and runs to the bathroom. so he's just sitting in the stalls crying.

okay back at starcourt this part wasn't shown in my dream but im just gonna make up that mike and el go looking around starcourt for something for will (sort of like the mike/lucas/will montage where they were looking for stuff for el) and then i guess they find something for will and i don't have the slightest idea what they could have got for him BUT THEY GOT HIM SOMETHING GOOD

so mike's all happy but they'res still that depression inside of him lol

so fast forward a week, it really isn't explained but ill just make up that will still hasn't called mike, and he's super sad and all sleeping in but decides to look through his good ol binder full of will's drawings and in the arts school will and stella have a few more interactions im sure which are still very uncomfortable

okay so it's lunch again in the cafeteria and somehow will and stella are talking again but somehow it ends in stella kissing will and will like pulls away immediatley and is like "what is wrong with you!?"

and she says "what?"

"i'm seeing someone!"

"oh i uh- i didn't know."

the whole cafeteria is staring at them

so will's freaking out almost on the verge of a panic attack "idk what to do, he's gonna hate me and-"

"he?"

will has the look on his face like shit shit shit oh fuck no

"you're gay?"

"i-"

and will runs off once again. and everyone in the whole cafeteria knows that he's day and ofc with everybody being homophobic will knows it's not good at all bc everyone's gonna bully him

so then the next day he goes to class and the teacher is like "does anyone care to tell me where ___ is?" (it would be like a math question like 'where x is' but in art idkkk) and then the teacher calls on "will? can you tell me where ___ is?" and they'res a pause and then the teacher says "or perhaps you'd want to find your boyfriend instead?" (giving me anne with an e vibes prolly cuz i did a rewatch last weekend but i won't explain more in case some people haven't watched it but) anyways will stands up from his seat, everyone is looking at him, and he's shaking and so concerned but then he goes "fuck. you" badass will yeaaaa thats my boy

so then he runs out of the classroom and out of the school in a really cool montage way but then he realizes he's like 2 hours away from home but he runs and runs and he goes to a random bustop (it's not even garanteed if it takes him to hawkins but whatever) he gets on and tries to go back to hawkins.

and soon enough, he gets there, and immediatley goes to the wheelers because he needs to see mike and apologize for everything. so he's at the wheelers, and rings the doorbell, realizing he's still in his uniform lol but karen answers and mike is upstairs in his room sulking (i picture it would be 8 pm by now) so will asks for mike and karen calls mike. mike groans obviously because he doesn't know it's his boy, but he comes down, karen gets out of the way and as soon as he sees will they have a really big hug and it's super sweet and my heart UFHEIOSKA

mike says his usual "are you okay?" and mike is still confused as shit but will says "i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry" and mike says "you don't have to be sorry for anyrhing" but will says "ill explain"

so then they go to will's room, side-by-side on his bed and will starts explaining everything

(this is mostly improvised by me but it's still pretty similar to the dream)

"i hated it."

"the school?"

"yeah. there was no you, (mike blushes lmao), everything was terrible, i felt so lonely, they didn't let me call you-"

"what?"

"they said the phone was off limits. i wanted to talk to you so bad and i thought you'd hate me"

"i could never hate you, will, even if i tried." will smiles

"and then there was this girl, and she hit on me and i didn't know what to do bc i'd be the face of the school if i told her i was dating you and was gay and today she kissed me"

"WHAT"

"im sorry im sorry i didn't kiss back and i was so scared bc i never was in a relationship before and i was so scared it was considered cheating-"

and mike LAUGHSS

"what? mike? what's wrong?"

"if you don't do anything back, it's not considerd 'cheating'"

"oh. good. are you mad at me?"

"what? no! no never!" so mike opens his arms and says "come here" so will and mike hug or something like that and then mike says "do you need me to beat her up?"

and will says "you can't even beat eggs. besides, your noodle arms wouldn't be able to do harm to even a fly"

so mike laughs and says "i'm glad your home"

so will blurts "i cursed out a teacher"

"you? cursing?"

"yes."

"might have to start calling you a bad boy now"

will just smiles and says "i love you"

and mike says "i love you too"

AND THEN END AND IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF BC I LOVE THIS DREAM LIKE I CAN'T BELIEVE MY BRAIN THOUGHT OF THIS BUT IM OBSESSED

ALSO ONCE I FINISH WYBMFFAE ILL PROBABLY WRITE THIS INTO A FULL BLOWN FIC BUT AHIHFUSAH

edit: i have no idea what mike did with the present him and el bought for will but i guess they ended up giving it to him lol

[kristalpepsi]

Temptation Stairway Thoughts™ + Theory Discussion

TW: blood + Death mentions, Implied (forced/pushed) integration (systems), racism (against asians), unreality stuff bc the show is Like That, Trauma causd by therapy

TL;DR = I mainly talk about implied integration, n as some1 in a system tht! mkes me uncomfy! I mainly will talk abt wht I’m calling the multi-ena theory (n anothr theory ill call the Multiple/Multi-Enaverse Theory) thts been popping up n disccng how thts kind of the bggst thng keepng me on board! I won’t LIE I might b a little biased bc I rlly do like thise show b I am NOT blind so I will try 2 address som things. I also talk alot abt the Shepard n Phindol bc I love themb so much they make me very heart Big.

DISCLAIMERS:

Obviously Joel G Highkey/definitely/most probbly did not intend 4 any of thise, but media is very complic8d so u cn end up accidntlly making problmtc things or implyng not great things

I hav a typing quirkkkk so if u cant understand my post I rlly dont blame u! I’m sorry how I type is Incomprehensible™

Not an angry post, more like my brain is holding me host-ge until i talk abt everyth dskfjhd!!

DO NOT Send anyone in thise post hate or angry asks/messages or perish by my sword

OK so this recnt episde has me w vry vry mixd feelngs!!! I’m both happy n exctd! b litrlly 2 things is whts bothrng me. While I CLD jst say :I Am Lookng Away: i rlly do need 2 write it down. Under a Read-more bc im secure SKSJ

Part 0: I’m uncomfortable help

The Section wher i tlk abt n bring up othr ppl’s concerns

So fr most if nt all the frnds I hav who also wtch Ena ALSO has a vry “vr vry mixd feelngs now tht I’ve seen the episde!!” mood twrds Temptation Stairway! It’s 4 a bunch of rsns, like thise post (tw racism) mde by a frnd whch brings up a good point

Part 1: The Actual Intro

Episode 1 = Auction day (AD) Episode 2 = Extinction Party (EP) Episode 3 = Tempation Stairway (TS)

Who is Ena

Ena can b describd as an "abstract girl split in half, w 1 blue side n the other is her yellow side!" Each side (emotion/mood, 2 b specific) seems 2 hav their own voic actor credited along with seper8 credits 4 each mood! So far the canon sides r Ena (happy), Ena (sad), n Ena (drunk)! They seem 2 act accordingly: Happy acts happy n optimistc, Sad acts sad n especlly depressd, n Drunk acts confused n dizzy [In the Credits, it would look like thise: Ena (happy) by Gabe V., Ena (sad) by Lizzie Freeman, (drunk) Ena by Sam Meza

4 Episodes 1-2, thy follow thise pattern exctly! So we cn expect wht 2 see from them, n each voice actor is creditd accordngly as seper8 b all a part of Ena

On epside 3, Ena is seen as actng diffrnt!! She's suddnly less predictabl! I say thise bc Suddenly, her voic Actors r not stuck 2 Only their sides. Thise is also emphasized when looking at the credit list! No longer is it "Ena (happy) by Gabe V., Ena (sad) by Lizzie Freeman" it's now jst "ENA by Gabe V. and Lizzie Freeman"

Happy's voic can sound STRESSED n sad, Happy can tlk w Blue's side in mor control n Sad's voic can sound Really happy n optimistic. Somth's Diffrnt n Not The Same

Temptation Stairway Summary

Skipping 2 my point, The summary of the episode Temptation stairway is tht Moony and Ena have a bet 2 race 2 the Great Runas! The Great Runas, can grnt u any wish accordng 2 Moony n som of those Ena passes by on the wy. The wager, is tht "whoever reaches the top of the Great Runas n makes their wish 1st, has 2 pay the debts of the loser" (yes it’s phrased like that) As Ena journeys thru, The DIFFERENCES between Ena Temptation Stairway and Ena Extinction Party n Below, is mor obvious as the epsde progrsses, even 2 wher Happy's voic actor is the 1 screamng in agony 2 jst get murdered already. The Episode ends w Moony beatng Ena (but it's 100% possibl it can be the other way arnd, that ENA Beat Moony, b thats somth I'll discuss in a bit L8r). Moony splits in half, revealing that according 2 her, "she wished 2 be skinny" n a humanoid coms out of her previous form. As 4 Ena, Her blue side slowly dispprs n its not answrd why.

Theories so far, are:

Moony wished 4 Ena 2 b happy (or 4 her sad/blu side 2 go awy. 4 wht reason can b eithr wholsom or 2 Moony's advntge [like so she "doesnt have 2 deal w Sad Ena"]) - b if Moony wished 4 Ena 2 b happy/b rid of her sad side, tht wld mean perhaps she lied about wishing 2 be skinny (her new humanoid form may be how she is "paying her debt 2 the loser"). Unless the Runas can grant u more than 1 wish.

Ena ws the 1 who wished her blu side awy, whch is a little depressng tbh

If both the above r tru, it may b possibl bc it wsnt clarified (afaik) tht the great runas can only grant ONE person a wish (or more). I think we only get tht implica8ion bc we see 1 (open) door while in the distance, ther r more doors tht look like their eyes r closed. We hav 2 remembr Moony said "whoever makes their wish 1st whch means Ena n Moony can totlly mke wishes @ the sme time

Somhow, turning pure yellow/only happy is how Moony is payng her debt 2 Ena(??) (opposite 2 the 1st theory)

OR If Ena won the race, it can even b possibl 2 consider tht Ena did not make ANY wish, n her debt 2 pay 2 Moony is her sad/blue side removed (I do not subscribe 2 thise) 

This info that was brought up 2 me is high evidenc that Moony won the race, n it explains how Moony surprises Ena whn Ena arrives. “I’m The Best and you’re the worst! I wonder who got the hair chest?” said by Ena, is a direct reference 2 a phrase usd by kids when they lose that goes “First is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the hairy chest.”

“Whoever reaches the top of the Great Runas n makes their wish 1st, has 2 pay the debts of the loser.“ Might be phrased tht way as a weird way 2 pay 4 ur greed? (Last minute addition from me since some people wld think this is quoted wrong in and outside of the youtube comments)

i'm p sure ther may even b mor theories b i dont rmmbr them OOPS

Part 2: The Implied Integration Part AKA: How the System!Ena theory is affected by this episode

TW: Final fusion discussion, medical trauma (Is that the right word)

Disclaimer: This is 100% unintended by Joel G. That’s y the Alternative title 2 thise part is “How the System!Ena theory is affected by this episode”

2 GET IN2 the whole Implied Integr8ion part of my Essay™ I hav a theory calld system ena or sys!ena! (Check out my #system ena tag. This is in chronologicl order!) While thers no canon explan8ion 4 how Ena herslf is how she is, she mkes very intrstng n almst good accdntl Sys Represent8ion 2 me! They even show cofronting rlly well! I headcanon Ena as a system bc of the accidentl system!rep, but it explains 2 me y n how she switches! she has triggers 4 when she switchs 2 a diffrnt side, etc!

Ther hav been theories about Temptation Stairway in the past (before the episode cme out) wher ppl try 2 explain y the trailer Looks Like Tht. Besides theorizing abt the introduction of a new forme (I'm ok w just calling it Scared/Anxiety 4 now until 4rthr notic), 1 of the theories ive seen is tht Temptation Stairway's new introduced forme is due 2 being something akin 2 being "integr8d" (probably by force, accordin 2 the OP) (in other words, all her sides merge in2 one) n Ena being devast8td abt it

While tht theory is now DEBUNKED, bc the new forme clearly did not come out bc of being One Single Mind now, the "integr8ion" part of tht theory is unfortun8ly a littl tru

What is Integr8ion?

Integr8ion is not inherently a bad thing. In systems, ther are 2 definitions: "the breaking down of barriers 2 form healthy multiplicity, n then healthy communic8ion n less amnesiac barriers" and the othr, n mor FAMOUS definition bc its the oldest 1, is "final fusion"

Fnal Fusion is when all the members "fuse/merge" 2gether until ther is 1 single mind left. While not necssrlly a bad thng, final fusion n ther4 "integr8ion" is a scry thing 4 a lot of systems 2 talk abt, because in the history of Treatment, Final fusion is uslly somthng forcd on2 systems 4 the longest time :^(

Very valid 2 hav final fusion as a goal, b showng it as a desire n end goal is uslly seen as a sad n even scry thing 2 promote accdntly or not in media, bc of the previous traumas in the medicl/therapy world of system treatment etc

What's Worse. is tht if we apply the Ending 2 Temptation Stairway to the System!Ena Theory, thts wht hurts!!!

Scrolling back up 2 the possibl theories of who won the race and wht happened aftr, Either Moony or Ena wishing 4 the blue side/Sad Ena 2 go awy is rlly painful!

B I'll be honest, thts a RLLY biased n personal opinion i hav!! I've seen ppl think its rlly wholsom altho a bit Sad, tht the blue side disappears. I've seen ppl think its rlly sweet esp if it was Moony who mde tht wish

BSCLLY If I were to hold on2 the System!Ena headcanon while watchng the Temptation Stairway episode, its Hurtful, not rlly bc of the implied Integr8ion of Sides, but bc most top theories r that the blue side disappeard on Purpose either from Moony or Ena wishing her away or involvng the debt! It's like asking 4 ur sibling irl 2 Disappear and cease 2 exist. it's scary n rlly sad esp whn the audienc can c tht Sad, Happy, n Drunk cn almst b seen as their own persons n mite even b abl 2 interact w each othr (as seen by the many fanart of Happy n Sad having their own seper8 forms)

  Ok so Now tht ive described my intro n Main Beef w the Episode, here's a theory I cn rlly get behind tht dsnt mke me wnna cry behind a Denny's. Prsnlly it's a rlly relievng theory even if it mite b hard 2 take in

Ther's no name 4 it, som call it the Enaverse, b just so it dsnt get confusd w other definitions (like, u wldnt call it the Marvel Cinematic Universe theory, the MCU is jst wht it is) I'm gnna call it the Multi-Ena theory! Bsclly, there's mor than 1 Ena in thise universe. But I'll get in2 a sub/partner theory tht is also possibl: ther is mor than 1 enaverse n somhow u may or may not b abl 2 travel between them

Part 3: The Multi-Ena theory

Something interesting I noticed was that the shepherds says “another ENA troublemaker?” Which definitely means more than one ENA/person has been there before.

(I blockd out the rest of the commnt not bc it ws bad, b i wantd 2 focus on this part of the commnt, but thise commnt will come up again L8r)

Not connected 2 System!Ena or the integr8ion issue I mentioned earlier, the multi-ena theory seems 2 b 1 of the top suggstd theories bc of many thngs! Bsclly n in short, thise theory believs tht in the series (or Enaverse), ther is multipl ena's! So fr i havent seen a post tht RLLY went in2 depth on thise so here is my attempt!

Evidence:

(See: above explanation on how the voic actors r credited 4 their roles individlly 2 explain my system!ena theory/intro) In episodes 1-2, Ena's diffrnt emotions/sides r creditd individually! In Temptation Stairway, Gabe n Lizzie Freeman r all creditd undr the sme nme, just as "Ena" (mening thise is a completely different Ena from the past)

Again, as said in my summry 4 Tempt8ion Stairway, thise Ena acts compltly diffrnt n is not follwng the sme "pattern" or rules as Ena did in Episodes 1-2! (Read above in my summary section) Either ther r stuff we've missd between Extinction Party n Temptation Stairway, or thise is a diffrnt Ena entirely.  I'd hav 2 sy prsnlly tht I'm leanng 2wrds the latter bc of how the VA's are crdtd. but if ur not convinced, let me continu:

When we meet the Shepard in 7:52 of the episode, they say (verbatim) "Arghh... Another ENA trouble maker." which implies there r more than 1 Ena's

9:08 - 9:19 when Ena jumps in2 the "Holy Code" where we head undrwtr in2 a sea of diffrnt doors, we see floating Ena models (n the comment section seems 2 gravit8 2 callng them "dead bodies") (Honorary mention: You'll notic they glitch in2 Mannequins if u pay attention 2 them). This piec of info is Direct Evidence 2 the multi-ena theory, bc ther r Explicitly mor thn 1 ena's on screen! wht's concernng n unanswrd tho, is y do they glitch in2 mannequins? Does tht mean all the mannequins we sw on screen in the begnng of the video (n onwards) were all previously an Ena? Is it only an Ena tht can transform in2 a mannequin or cn othr chrctrs also become mannequins?

Not the strongst evidenc b i'll input it anywy: Ena's Action boxes (Like when she receivs or gives items) spell her nme her as ƎNA (with a backwrds E). The thing abt thise 1 is tht we can't compare it with Auction Day n Extinction Part bc they don't have any action boxes. BUT What we CAN compare is how she is spelled in the dialogue boxes of those speakng in diffrnt languages AND in the Credits! In Episodes 1-2, She's Spelled as Ena with this captialis8ion. In Temptation Stairway the dialogue and credits consitntly spell her as ENA in all caps. May or may not allude 2 her being diffrnt, b i will admit this is the most Strechiest piec of evidnc. Tru or not, I'd like 2 refer 2 Tempt8ion Stairway ena as TS!Ena or ƎNA, prsnlly 2 differenti8 her frm the othr episodes

Pronounci8ion: BUT 2 build on the above evidence, In the beginning of the episode, Moony DOES pronounc Ena's name in different wys a lot, startng w I-NA (ai-na), ENA (ehna), n finally JENA. And this isnt new! She’s been doing it sinc Auction Day (ee-nah/ii-na) n Extinction Party (ay-nah). Thise may or my not sggst that perhaps Moony's inconsistancy is bc these othr pronunci8ions or names cld b of other ena's she's met in the past w similr or diffrnt preferences! I’d say because of her constant switchng in the beginning of Temptation Stairway, it would lean 2wards that she may know different Ena’s @ once. Otherwise, c the Multi-Enaverse theory below

Note: Every othr charctr besides Moony (So far; Merci and the Shepard) Pronounces Ena as ehna (or ehna) so it might be that perhaps Eh-na is the universal way of pronouncng Ena?

Conlusions/thghts on this theory: I prsnlly like thise a lot!! It makes Enasonas Very Possible, b also tht any interpret8ion of Ena cn b corrct or possibl! It knda saddens me tho bc im not rlly sure if we'll ever return 2 the Ena we're used 2, I wldnt rlly want 2 b stuck w/o Sad bc I thnk her role is rlly neat n can b importnt, b im biasd. I also rlly subscribe 2 thise theory bc it means whtvr happend 2 TS!Ena ds not hav 2 be permanent in the long run; Again litrlly the only thng keepng me from gettng supr upset abt the ending of Temptation Stairway, is tht the prev ena’s r not the sme n wld possibly not do thise, or tht ther r othr ena’s out ther besides THISE episod 1, who wld nvr do tht, etc

Part 4: The Multiple Enaverses/Multi-Enaverse Theory AKA The Alternative In Defense of Moony Mispronouncing Ena’s name over and over

An alterntve 2 the Multi-Ena theory, is tht there is MORE thn 1 Enaverse! So bsclly, a multiverse theory. Primarily thise my explain Not jst Ena's sudden Shift in how diffrnt she is in thise episode b may also explain how Diffrnt Moony is actng in thise episode 2. While thise isnt the top theory i prsnlly subscribe 2 (sinc ther isnt explicit evidence besides it bein an explan8ion 4 Moony n Ena's weird/diffrnt behavior), it DOES open a lot of doors 2 intrstng things 2 thnk abt!

Bsclly Moony keeps mispronouncing Ena’s name a lot (in Tempation Stairway) n its Really Rude, esp consdrng she’s always said it properly (As in @ least 1nce in an episode n not switchng multiple times) b4! so 2 Explain her Sudden change in behavior, this is actlly a Different Moony, besides a different Ena. this is a whole different universe/timeline!

LIKE If not multiple Ena's, The different Loca8ions in Ena cn probbly b traversible across dimensions! The Holy Code may b the door 2 diffrnt enaverses. The Shepard's garden cld b an interdimensionl place tht is singular n deals w diffrnt beings passing thru! While i dnt hav mch 2 sy on thise, its RLLY Interestng 2 thnk abt

Like the Multi-Ena theory, thise also opens the doors 2 enasonas being vry possibl :^) Som ppl's evidences r all involvng Moony besides how Ena's rlly diffrnt

Moony can skateboard??

Moony's square shape hole can shrink 2 hold an item

while not strong ATM or frm wht i cn see, its still very inch restng!!! Tho I would sy it is VERY on par w the Multi-Ena theory anyway

Part 5: Honorary Mentions: Mini Theories

The Great Runas is actlly a play on the "Run As" Command! I'm not very Smart engh 2 break thise down vry well, b bsclly w all the allusion 2 "codes" n the Blood ID looking like a Chip, The Great Runas being abl 2 grant u wishes makes a lot of sense! This ws brought up 2 me from a friend (@ambercard​)!

like its a command line. so then the great runas being able to grant wishes makes sense if its digital world like all the code stuff says Allows a user to run specific tools and programs with different permissions than the user's current logon provides.

Runas is a command-line tool that is built into Windows Vista. To use runas at the command line, open a command prompt, type runas with the appropriate parameters, and then press ENTER.

In the user interface for Windows Vista, the Run as… command has been changed to Run as administrator. However, you should rarely have to use the Run as administrator command because Windows Vista will automatically prompt you for an administrator password when it is needed.

and my friend who i was talking to said that probably explains what the password was for and the blood id being a login or something?

its possible using the blood id akin to using the run as administrator command since idk their name but one of the people ena met said the blood id didnt seem like her which is like. if she isnt administrator then it would make sense that using that command wouldnt match who she is

My response:

man do u realiz Ena uslly does not hav the corrct passwrd/admin privileges all the tme? Bc the guardian entity in extinction party askd her 4 1 b i guess it ws so Low Game tht it wsnt supr necsrry in the end

The Enaverse is all a computer code of some sort- most probbaly a game! AKA: This is a digital world

... If we were too treat this world as a video game this would make more sense since different play through bus and all that. Oh god this feels like a fnaf situation, taking a video that just wants to be a video and turning it into a big serious thing

Going with the whole ‘there are multiple enas representing the player’ theory, perhaps this ENA realized that she’s in a video game and isn’t taking it too well? But the game is kind of glitching out because of it.

Honorable Mentions: Random Info + Unanswered Questions

Ena seems self-aware of smth! (10:24 Ena screams "YOU'RE ALL LIVING A LIE!") May help the Run as command idea n the video game/digital reality idea! If not a video gme, they sure r Somewhere

What does the Great Runas look like?? is it the door? is ther mor thn 1 Runas?

What is Mariya n Gabo's Job? R they just like the Guardian Entity in Extinction Party but are assignd 2 this part/location of where they are?

In 6:30, wht does Ulysses mean by "Desires r never fulfilled nor quenched"? "You Will fail like the rest of them" Is he referring 2 the other Ena's that's passed by? who else have come n failed?

This Post Also brings up som good points I hvnt noticd yet!

Thise comment pretty much says everythng:

Standout things from this animation:

-This Ena switches between a male & female voice at seemingly random instead Happy speaking with a male voice and Sad speaking with a Sad voice. The text boxes noticeably refer to this Ena with a reversed E, and The Shepard says "Another Ena troublemaker", implying that there are multiple Enas. We also see some Ena corpses flickering into the mannequin bodies at one point. Third, at the end we see Ena's sad half turn from blue to yellow over the course of Ena & Moony's conversation. My personal theory is that this Ena is possibly 'broken' in some manner. -Moony either doesn't care or dosen't realize that Ena's voices aren't matching the personalities anymore. -The grey personality appears to come out when Ena gets too stressed out. Notably the transformation involves the happy half turning into static and exploding out, erasing Ena's face in the process. It also appears that some physical trauma (in this case, Brick Frog kicking Ena) is necessary to exit the grey personality, unlike the previously seen 'blackout' personalities which can possibly be switched by the other personality exerting themselves (in the auction episode, Ena enters her sad blackout/depressed personality, then switches to Happy!Ena, who apologizes to Moony about her depressed outburst). -Moony's hole is capable of closing to hold things, and she also knows how to skateboard. -Judging by Ena's reaction, Moony's transformation at the end is weird even by this universe's standards.

aaaand thats all 4 now! I really hope thats all my brain can think of skjsdhfsdfkh

Feel free 2 send me asks abt Ena theories n stuff! While this is a Comprehensiv post, it’s definitely mor focused on the Multi-Ena theory n my thghts on the episode whn it comes 2 how it affects the System Ena theory. I’m open 2 questions!!

Last Edit: Feb 19 2021 (GMT +8)