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catscidr · 11 months ago

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im sorry i know i should be writing reqs but i just can’t stop thinking about slightly creepy office au coworker dottore...... im horn

you have a boring 9-5 job, trying to find joy in the mundane, else you go crazy. waking up to birds chirping outside of your bedroom window, the tasty to-go coffee and breakfast sandwich you always get in the morning, and your coworker greeting your still-sleepy self when you step into the office. always one to gossip, she’d motion for you to hurry up and sit at your cubicle so she can gush about whatever rumor was currently roaming the building.

“have you seen zandik lately? his temper is worse than usual! think he just got broken up with or something? honestly, i see why his partner would call things off, it seems like he’s always prioritizing work over people...” you take a long sip of your coffee, relishing in the newfound energy that flooded your system. it takes you a minute to process your coworker’s claim.

“how do you know he was even in a relationship in the first place?” you ask, scoffing in amusement at how fast her brain seemed to work; it was almost impressive, really. “well, he’s handsome, for one. and he’s loaded! i don’t understand how he can afford such a nice car with a salary like ours,�� she sulks as she finishes her rambling. you take the opportunity to finish your food, setting your half-empty cup down to start prepping your workspace.

“inheritance? or he’s crazy good at managing money,” you suggest. just as you thought your coworker was about to drop the topic, she perks up and slams her hand on her desk a tad bit too loudly. “oh! or maybe he works a second job? y’know, the cost of living is getting pretty high, so maybe he has a 5-9 on top of working here!”

someone shoots her a look that says “it’s still early, lower your voice”, and she grins at them awkwardly before turning to look at you with a smile that rivals someone that just uncovered the cure to a deadly disease.

you pause your typing, fingertips resting idly on the mechanical keyboard. “why do you care about what he’s up to, anyways? usually you avoid talking about zandik or any of the higher-ups because you know they’ll probably get us in trouble,” you point out, your shoulder getting hit as soon as the words leave your mouth. giggling lightly at how dramatic her reaction was, you turn your attention from your computer to your coworker. you’re met with a petrified expression and uncomfortable body language along with the lack of natural light behind you.

“and why, pray tell, are we gossiping about my foul mood?” someone says from behind you, though you could recognize its owner anywhere. your blood runs cold— the warmth from your morning coffee having vanished from your body, not a single trace left in the presence of the office’s most intimidating employee (arguably). your coworker flashes him a wide, albeit shaky smile, and shakes her head a bit too quickly for it to be considered normal.

“n-not gossiping! we’re just concerned for your health! right?” she says your name, nudging your foot from underneath the desk. you don’t have time to decide whether you want to detach yourself from your predicament or to go along with her bullshit because zandik bends down to your level, flashing a smile that doesn’t quite reach his dull eyes as he speaks for you. “then avoid spreading rumors about my personal life, it gives me a headache,” he murmurs quietly.

you’d catch the unspoken threat in his voice if you weren’t so flustered. he was so close you could smell his cologne— musky sandalwood that made your head spin, losing whatever train of thought you had just seconds ago. “s-sorry,” you’re the one that apologizes since your coworker was frozen in fear, looking more like a deer facing headlights than an office worker.

zandik’s lips stretch wider, vermillion eyes narrowing at her before flickering over to you. you immediately look away, suddenly now noticing the sheer lack of space between you two. if what you were doing before was unprofessional, then this was beating it by a landslide. although you couldn't help but wish that he bent down to your level more often. though, at the same time, he looked good looking down at you…

he stays like this for a few more uncomfortable seconds before straightening his back and walking away, no words spoken between the three of you. your coworker exhales a breath she had been holding in, and turns to face her desk in silence.

you're left with a rapidly beating heart and the need to take a bathroom break even though you just clocked in not even ten minutes ago.

#୧ ‧₊˚rambling!#dottore office au #might start dumping my brainrot thoughts and not bother turning them into fully fleshed out fics sometimes #because idk sometimes a gal js doesnt feel like putting that much effort #would rather put effort into requests and my dottore fic LOL #anyways i was thinking of applying for an office job and then i jjust started thinking about dottore ?????????/#like fuck i actually need him. so bad #need him in a suit. like r u kiddign me.#i wanted to turn this into smut but i got flustered at the end im sry im a degen in theory but not in practice im a coward im SORRY!!!!#dottore x reader #genshin x reader #dottore x you #genshin x you #୧ ‧₊˚cat's work!

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prisoner-000 · 1 year ago

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Thinking about milgram's symbolic cannibals.

Thinking about Mahiru, who ate her partner with her unending hunger for love until there was nothing left of the sweet taste.

Thinking about Muu who used the friends that could never be enough for sustenance for her cravings until she ended up the peel in the trash can.

Thinking about Haruka, who was so starved for the meal he deserved, he ate what he could reach to finally earn a meal better than he could have ever hoped for in Muu.

Thinking about Kazui who still bit just enough at his wife to make her unappealing to others even though he wasn't hungry; he was dreaming of different-tasting foods.

Thinking about Shidou, starved of the things he loves, who tries to cook himself, but fails over and over again, because he just can't find the right ingredients to reconstruct his meals.

#milgram #idk what this is. take my abstract rambles #i might turn this into an actual fic idk tho #prisoner's ramblings

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theflyingfeeling · 1 year ago

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💖 it's here, it's pink, it's sparkly, and full of fluff 💖

Hiiiiii and welcome to witness my attempt at an Olli/Allu Advent Calendar, in which I'll give you ~a cute little something~ about these two idiots in love almost every day until December 24! My plan is to use prompts from this list to either write a fic based on the prompt or just some good ol' delulu thoughts if all else fails. I cannot guarantee there'll be a post literally every day, but I'm really excited to try this out and I thank you for your support along the way in advance 💝

The biggest thanks and a million hugs go to one of my favourite human beings @kraeuterhexchen for making the adorable banner!! I mean helloooooo?? 😭 Go show them some love ❣️

For December 1, the prompt list is titled One True Pairing Moments, and the prompt I chose was 'calling just to hear their voice' 🥺 You can read the fic below, I hope you like it <3

PS. Even though this is an advent calendar of sorts, I'm not planning on making this particularly Christmassy. I hope no one minds terribly!

Falling for Aleksi had, in a way, sneaked up on Olli, at least if he fooled himself a little. He could pretend he didn’t feel any different about the man than he did about, say, Joonas or Tommi, but that strategy only worked for so long – that is to say, approximately until Aleksi as much as smiled softly at him from across a room or bumped his shoulder into his jovially when walking down the street and Olli would feel his breath getting caught in his throat or stumble in his words, his tongue tangled like shoelaces, which was so unlike him as well and frustrated him to no end. It really took a special kind of fool to not only develop some level of feelings for a friend, a colleague, a bandmate for Christ’s sake, but also become so hopelessly enamored with him that you rolled awake in bed in the dead of night, grabbing your phone and tossing it back on the nightstand again and again because you couldn’t decide whether or not you should, on some erratic 2 o’clock impulse, call him to let him know he was the very reason for your insomnia.

Turning on his back, Olli groaned (only a little desperately) as he remembered losing himself in the lingering hug they had shared just before the arrivals lobby at the airport, inhaling Aleksi’s scent and wishing they wouldn’t have to go home just yet, even if Olli was more than ready to finally sleep in his own bed again. Ironically, ever since they had returned home from tour, Olli had spent night after sleepless night missing Aleksi terribly: his stupid jokes and playful banter that bordered on being flirtatious if Olli allowed himself the benefit of delusion; his quick, subtle smiles that probably meant nothing; his little touches Olli hoped meant something; his smell and his touch and the softness of his hair at the back of his neck, compared to which the blanket Olli was grasping in his fist was like sandpaper. (How he had come to know of the qualities of Aleksi’s hair in such detail, he preferred not to dwell on too much to save himself from the heartache, so let’s just leave it at ‘stressful, emotional week far away from home’ and ‘a little too much to drink’).

Above all, Olli missed Aleksi’s voice. He hadn’t even thought that was possible, until the other morning when Olli had woken up to a voice message Aleksi had left just hours earlier, rambling about a song idea he had gotten in the middle of the night – something he did from time to time – and Olli had spent the next several minutes replaying it over and over again as he had lied in bed procrastinating getting up and and instead closing his eyes to better imagine Aleksi lying there beside him, turned on his side to face Olli, talking to him sleepily like they often did when they shared a room on tour and were just too lazy to join others at breakfast. Much like the hug at the airport, Olli wished those moments would have lasted way longer than they did, often ending abruptly when either of their phones would go off with Santeri’s name on the screen, a passive-aggressive interruption to the soft, low tone of Aleksi’s early-morning thoughts. (Sometimes, when Olli was lucky enough, he had been blessed with the bliss of feeling the light touch of a fingertip tracing along his collarbone, cut short just as frustratingly by their well-meaning tour manager politely enquiring whether the two of them had plans of dragging themselves downstairs for some toast and coffee, or if they’d rather starve until lunchtime, for which he wasn’t at all sure they’d even have time that day.)

The lovesick idiot that he was, his thumb hovered over the ‘play’ button of Aleksi’s voice message, probably for the millionth time that week. The chest-carving hesitation turned into a heart flip when he noticed Aleksi was online.

Then Aleksi began to type, and Olli held his breath the entire time until a new message appeared in the thread, anticipation holding him by his throat.

You awake?

Olli exhaled and typed his affirmative reply, leaving out the reason why.

He blinked at the screen, waiting for Aleksi to ask him a random question that clearly couldn’t wait until morning, or perhaps talk about something related to another late-night Twitch stream (from what Olli had gathered, Aleksi had been doing a lot of those recently, and with his last remaining braincell Olli had managed to resist the temptation to watch every single one of them, because he knew that if he did, it would only dig his grave of pining and longing deeper, seeing Aleksi smile and giggle about but not being able to do that with him or snuggle up next to him when he was wearing that flannel Olli often used as a blanket in the tour bus). But instead of another text appearing on the screen, Olli’s phone began to vibrate in his hand, and it took him an embarrassingly long while to understand it was because Aleksi was calling him.

“Hi,” he sighed when he finally collected himself enough to speak. He prayed he’d be able to hear what Aleksi was going to say from the thumping heartbeat echoing in his ears.

“Hi,” a soft voice said. “Sorry, I know it’s late…”

“No, not at all,” Olli hurried to say, “I mean, I wasn’t sleeping. Not even close, actually.” Part of him hoped Aleksi wouldn’t ask about it, but in some foolhardy way the possibility intrigued him.

Nothing much, he would have likely said anyway, but what would happen if he told Aleksi how it really was? That he squeezed his pillow imagining it was him instead, or wailed into it because something had reminded him of a moment-that-was-probably-not-a-Moment™ they had shared? What would Aleksi say if he knew Olli sometimes touched himself the way Aleksi had touched him That One Night they never talked about? The only obstacle between Olli and that knowledge was a bottomless ocean of cold sweat and cowardice, and Olli had never been a great swimmer.

“So, ummm…,” Olli said when Aleksi’s end stayed silent. “What’s up?”

A short breath of laughter sounded through the phone line.

“Honestly? I don’t know, I… It’s just been a… weird week, I guess.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, like… my head’s just been so full of… everything and… I’ve been so busy and kinda tense and… fuck, this is going to sound crazy,” Aleksi laughed that brief laugh again, although to Olli it didn’t sound particularly cheerful. Tired, more like. Strained, somehow. Not sad, but definitely a little troubled, and Olli intended to find out why.

“I’m all for crazy, you know.” Olli hoped his sorry attempt to lighten Aleksi’s mood would work, and so he smiled in relief when he heard Aleksi chuckle at his comment.

“I know,” Aleksi said softly, in that tone of voice that had Olli melt against his bedsheets. “So yeah, it’s been a rough week, but… in between all that stupid shit, I’ve been thinking a lot about… umm… well, the tour and– and… about you, for some reason,” (the troubled laugh made its return) “and… yeah. That’s sort of helped me a lot recently.”

Olli listened to the words carefully, not fully believing what he was hearing, yet clinging on to them until they were all but swirling around in his otherwise empty head like dry leaves in October wind.

“And tonight I just couldn’t fucking sleep for some reason and nothing I did seemed to help and so I thought I’d call you. And I’m–” If it hadn’t been dead silent otherwise, Olli wouldn’t have heard the shaky breath Aleksi paused to take, “I’m sorry I’m calling you at this hour and bothering you with this all but I guess I just… wanted to hear your voice. To see if that would help.”

“Does it?” Olli asked. Aleksi’s confession had made him clasp his blanket close to his chest, as if that would do anything about his rapidly beating heart.

“Yeah. It does. So maybe just… keep talking?”

Despite his mind living a life of its own, completely unfit to form a single coherent thought, for Aleksi’s sake Olli tried his best to think of something to say, but everything he came up with was something he was not ready to tell him quite yet.

“Uuummmm…” he said to buy himself some time, but while he waited for his useless brain and mouth to form any actual words, Aleksi spoke again.

“Fuck, I’m– I’m sorry, this is too weird, I shouldn’t have– I’ll let you go back to–”

“I miss you,” Olli blurted before Aleksi would hang up on him. He squeezed his eyes shut when Aleksi went silent, too silent for too long for it to mean any good.

The line stayed open, however, which Olli took as a positive sign, even if the seconds during which all Olli could hear was Aleksi's quiet breathing seemed endless.

“And I you,” Aleksi finally replied. “A little too much, probably, or at least that’s what it feels like,” he chuckled. Olli almost missed the quiet sniff that followed.

He had to steel himself for his next question.

“What do you mean?”

“Just… forget it.” Aleksi said quietly. Contrary to Aleksi’s request, Olli knew he was going to all but ‘forget it’ for the next 3-5 business days; mentally he booked all his evenings as well as most of his mornings and noons for pondering what exactly had been in Aleksi’s mind in that moment or why he had sounded so sombre, almost disappointed. He’d probably never come to any satisfactory conclusion about it though, at least not without a little help from Aleksi himself.

A ridiculous idea popped into his head, and before he could stop himself, the words flooded out of his mouth.

“Do you wanna come over some time? To hang out? When your schedule’s a little less tight, I mean.” He sucked on his lips and closed his eyes as he waited for Aleksi’s answer, ready to hang up the moment he’d decline the offer on some obvious and logical reason for why Aleksi couldn’t possibly make nor want to take a trip to the north to see him, such as ‘didn’t we just spend over two months on the road together?’ or ‘damn, buddy, I miss you alright but not quite that much, I’ve done enough sitting in public transportation for one year, thank you very much lol’ or ‘what about Rilla?’

“You could take Rilla with you, you know.” Olli hurried to say, just in case, the deranged part of his brain thinking there might be a chance Aleksi might be at least considering it.

“Oh! Well, umm… I actually might have time next week? If– if you’re actually being serious about this.”

Funny you should ask, Aleksi; I’ve actually never been more serious about anything in my entire life than I am about having you here with me so that I can hold you and be held by you and see your face when I wake up in the morning and say goodnight to your annoyingly cute face instead of via text message and maybe, if the stars are in position and the northern wind won’t discourage me too much, I might actually be brave enough to torment you with the knowledge of just how miserable I’ve been since we last saw each other.

“I think it would be cool,” he said, because he had a feeling what he wanted to say would’ve been a tad too much and sudden. “I mean, if you’re up for it, of course. I understand if you can’t make it though, I know you have all those side projects.”

“No, I think it might actually do me some good to get out of the capital area for change.” Then there was a muffled ‘ouch’, followed by a laugh that sounded much brighter than any of the other ones Olli had heard from Aleksi that night. “Sorry, correction, it might do us some good. Rilla just told me she’s most definitely coming too. Rilla, stop nibbling on my toes!”

Olli smiled tiredly at the mental image that was painted in his mind of Aleksi and Rilla cuddling in bed, both minding their own business from what it seemed while still minding each other as well, very much indeed.

“I’ll be sure to set up a bed for her in the guest room.”

“The guest room? Do you not know her at all? If she’s not getting the master bedroom, she’ll ruin all your rugs and most of your shoes. Probably also gossip about you to all the neighbourhood dogs. And she’s brutal.”

Olli held his stomach as he laughed, tears almost forming in the corners of his eyes. In his defence, it was late and he was finally becoming tired, thus too far gone to help himself, let alone feel embarrassed about being in stitches about something Aleksi had said that was only mildly amusing. (It wasn’t the first time that had happened either, and likely not the last time.)

“So yeah, ummm, I can take a look at some flight options for next week and let you know, alright? I’m gonna let you sleep now and… I should get some myself too.”

Olli wanted to tell Aleksi he’d love to stay up chatting until dawn, but the yawn he let out when he opened his mouth to speak implied Aleksi had a point.

“Yeah, let me know. And… thanks for calling, I… you have no idea how much I needed this tonight.”

That was as close to a confession as Olli was able to get as of now.

“Probably not half as much as I did.”

Olli chuckled at Aleksi’s response, mostly to hide his own agony.

If only you knew. If only I knew how to tell you.

It didn’t take long for Olli to doze off after they hung up, and when he woke up to the kids from next door having a snowball fight under his window in the morning, he noticed new messages from Aleksi, sent half an hour after their phone call had ended, complete with screen captions of airplane schedules.

Would these days work for you? I might be free all week actually 😇

Olli cuddled into his pillow while typing his reply, hoping it wouldn’t wake up Aleksi.

yeah I’m free as well. I’ll pick you two up from the airport 🖤

From then on, Olli started counting the days until he’d see Aleksi again.

#blind channel fanfiction #blind channel rpf #ollixallu #24 days of gift-giving by theflyingfeeling #<- that's the tag i'll be using for these btw #everyone stop and look at the banner!! 🥺💖#it's not QUITE like the original one ju made first but maybe one day you'll get to see that masterpiece as well 😏#but ooff the way i've gone from having 'a plan' to having 'a better plan' to having 'no plan whatsoever' with this? 😂#so yeah idk what kinda fics/posts there'll be in this series... stay tuned and see for yourself! 🤭#some of them might be in the same universe/plot. others may not. who knows? not i 😌#(...but as you can see from this fic the door for a multiple-part story is definitely open 👀)#some of the fics may not even be based on a prompt though if i'm not feeling like it. honestly i'm curious to see how this will turn out!#(and if this ends up being the only post i ever make that's alright too! i refuse to bully myself with a hobby i'm doing for free <3)#however: i'm not taking requests per say BUT feel free to snoop on the prompts for each day and send me your ideas or hopeful wishes 👀#there are certain ones i'm more drawn to but i haven't really set anything in stone #one could say i'm just going with the flow. fuck around and find out if you will ✨#also: not sure if/when i'll be bothered to post any of these on ao3 #probably i'll just see how many fics i manage to actually finish and dump them all at once on ao3 on christmas day lol #anyway! enjoy & let me hear from you <3

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orcelito · 1 year ago

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Went skimming thru late trimax For Reasons, got caught up reading the Legato fight, realized things about the fight that I never had before & went WOW, I kind of want to write an analysis post right now!

Felt the same kind of insanity grip me, however momentarily, that fueled all my analysis posts however many months ago. Too tired to actually word things coherently right now, but...

I May or may not have a full(ish?) analysis of the Legato & Vash fight a la style of This post analyzing the Trigun: Multiple Bullets fight that got unexpectedly kind of popular. People seemed to really appreciate that one, & I even had some ppl saying it could be cool if I did that for others?

So. Legato fight. Maybe. Feel free to remind me later if u see no mention of it again for over a week lol

#speculation nation #ive been wanting to go back into reading the manga again #ive only slowly (VERY slowly) been puttering along with where i am in my fic #for research purposes with the fic.#i do want to go back through the manga bc i STILL havent done a full reread of it #ive just reread so many different parts of it for assorted research that im probably getting to some 10 or so reads total lmao #i wanna reread it in full tho front to back to sort out any stray details and remember any timeline things i might have slightly skewed.#the problem with reading the manga though. is that every fucking time i look at it. i am consumed by a drive to research EVERY little thing #so me reading turns into 'hm thats interesting. that reminds me of this thing that i know happens in volume 8. let me just check that now--'#and i end up so dreadfully distracted every damn time. bc i end up with all my wires crossed and my attention pointing a million ways #it's exhausting. and so i havent been reading the manga outside of random research dives.#im very good at that. i know every volume of the manga and can find Anything within 1 or 2 mins (at the Most)#which is also kind of the problem lol. fingers in too many pies. so many things to think about.#if i get back into Actually rereading the manga tho you can bet ur ASS ill find more things to make posts about #every time i open up the manga i find new things that i could analyze.#i just havent. bc i dont have time. but. ykno what. maybe i Could get back into it...#remind me later. this is one of my favorite fucking fights with my favorite Fucking panels #and i realized smth about the shit Vash is doing that was making me lose my MINDDDD #later tho. ive been sleep deprived today. and it is time for me to rest.#& yea yea ITNL is still the main focus. but idk i have such a mind for details and i remember So many things about the manga #i wanna show that off to people again. and thus. Analyses!!! :D #later. goodnight for now

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agentplutonium · 1 year ago

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sometimes i like to entertain the idea that Sweetheart was debating what to do with their feelings for Milo for so long. I’m talking like up to the minute before the shade fight. Like honestly though imagine it: you’re a young investigator with a lot to prove, and you illegally went to interrogate this guy because he had connections to one of your colleagues and figured he’d cooperate. That plan backfired, and now you’re trapped in keeping this guy in the loop of a case you technically can’t even talk about in the first place. The worst part is he intrigues you. in the worst possible way, this man has wiggled his way into a little corner of your head, and he wasn’t going anywhere.

They would deny at first, ‘cause, come on, them? Having a crush? At their big age? That’s absurd. It’s absurd and unprofessional of them. They couldn’t have a crush, they were already on the verge of getting in trouble for even talking to the guy, and now there might be romantic feelings involved? They weren’t having that. They couldn’t.

But they didn’t stop seeing him. They didn’t stay away like they knew they should. They told themselves it’s cause they gave their word, and if they were anything it someone who kept their word, but the disguise was flimsy. If anyone looked close enough they’d see right through them. Milo saw right through them on their second meeting for fucks sake.

But it didn’t matter how much people saw. It was a matter of convincing themselves to go after what they so clearly want. They were scared. As an investigator, their life was busy. They had a lot of work to do and sometimes their hours could get a little wonky. They might get too invested into a case and not be able to show their partner enough attention. They could get hurt, or worse, on a case and then that’d leave their partner worrying about them and they didn’t want that. It wasn’t fair. It didn’t matter how much they liked someone, it wasn’t worth the risk.

They kept telling themselves to make a decision about Milo, but they never did. They kept putting it off even as it started to affect how they viewed the case. Milo was a persistent thought in their everyday life, and yet they couldn’t take the step to cut him off to protect him. They also hadn’t realized how much Milo was starting to mean to them. Sweetheart, as they continued to get to know Milo, started getting a urge to protect him. It was minute at first, something that they could brush off as just their investigator instinct to protect those who are vulnerable, but it grew beyond that as well.

All these things came to a head on the night of the Shade fight. It was seeing Milo wrestling with the shade in his wolf form that finally snapped them to their senses. This was to dangerous for him, they put them in this situation, and by god they couldn’t lose him. Not now. Not like this.

After the fight, they told Milo to go before he got in trouble with the department. They could see the wounds on him even through the fur, and the limp as he trotted away.

“Fuck,” they said under their breath when he was far enough away. They knew what this meant, and it seemed the answer they were hesitant to give was finally forced from them. They couldn’t go on from this pretending like nothing happened these past few months.

So they didn’t deny it. They started leaning into the things they’ve suppressed, and that, coupled with the sheer relief that Milo was still with them, let them finally act. They didn’t know how this relationship would play out, but they were willing to try.

They would try for him.

#plutonium_rambles #*idea turns into a mini fic*#i don’t know why i keep doing this #i might make this into an actual fic to be honest #I love it so much #the inner turmoil #the knowledge that this could hurt Milo but going after it anyway #the battle between work and milo and deciding which would take precedence in time of need #idk man #it’s sweetheart #what can i say i’m literally obsessed with them #redacted audio #redacted audio milo #redacted audio sweetheart #redacted headcanons

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daz4i · 1 year ago

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too lazy and having trouble with words to work on my fic but i do enjoy imagining it. fuck yeah make that beast bleed

#i think i might try to rewrite the second chapter (or what i wrote from it so far)#it feels too emotional for an early part of the fic in a way that can even be ooc which makes me self conscious #and in turn makes me want to not write it bc it's bad. so. idk. I'll try maybe. just gotta figure out what to replace it with 🤔😔#edit: ok some of this is really cute. i might just tweak the scenario to be less heavy bc the actual start of Thing is p good

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sweet-fae-dreams · 11 months ago

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A.U where after Jason Todd ends up coming back from the dead, he wanders abit around Gotham. Debating seeing Bruce. Jason's full of emotion, mostly anger but also fear. He sees Alfred and Bruce through the window with some new new Youngsters. Debating if there is a place for them there. Decides against ruining things. They want to scream at him, they want to run in and hug him. They want to blame him. They want to confide in him. But they just can't do it. They wander Gotham for abit. Wind up hanging out around a Queer Bar, not sure why. But the vibes felt right. Gets a new job as a bouncer at the club keeping shitty people out. Eventually starts making friends with the regulars, including a redhead who he could have sworn he seen somewhere before. Or at least someone simillar, a face in one of the many paintings and photos at Wayne manor. Starts talking to her, eventually discovers shes Bruce's cousin.. but they don't talk much. Bruce barely mentioned the rest of his family. So maybe it will be ok becoming friends... but then they start noticing famililar signs, bruises and aches and makeup hiding wounds, and Jason starts to piece together that maybe his ties to the bat family were closer then he liked. Meanwhile Kates been listening to this kid(well not quite a kid any longer, but to her, they seem like a kid) clearly lost, has a past they don't talk about, clearly been damaged, hurt, claims to be cis straight guy but finds community with a bunch of queers, especially queer women and she starts wondering. She tries to bring it up, but when talk about identity starts up, Jason freezes and assumes shes figured out who they were and runs and stops contact. Eventually worried for this kid. Worried they might do something stupid, Kate reluctantly checks in on them and they confront her, about how they knows shes knows and how Bruce must have sent her. That it's better left leaving him alone. And it clicks In her head, this reaction, the questions about her injuries, this wasnt just some kid Bruce knew.. this was a robin or someone involved in Bruce's stuff. But that's not whats important right now. Shes reassures them that's not what this is about but does admit to being Batwoman. In Hope's it will build some trust. And Jay starts talking, talks about how scared returning to life was, talks about how she felt all alone, about how she felt conflicted about who she was now, but wanted to just bury it.

And Kate takes her in, helps her establish a new identity and helps her transition. And starts becoming a mentor, Batwoman starts appearing with a new ally but she doesn't bring them along to meetings with the batfamily.

Jay starts adjusting, and everything starts to go smoothly. Untill one day shes walking out of trans support group meeting with her new friend Alysia... when she runs Into Barbara Gordon... and she can tell The commissioners daughter... well kore then that.. Oracle could tell who she was. But she was supportive and didn't say anything, acted like this was their first time meeting. It's not untill later that night, that Jay gets a phone call from an undisclosed number. And reluctantly picks up knowing whose on the other end.

"Hey.. I don't know how you came back...or why you haven't said anything. But.. that's your buisness.. and I'm just happy you are here... We all miss you.. you'd be welcome back. But that's your choice..."

And it was in fact her choice to make..

#idk. might turn this into an actual fic #im just like musing

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