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booksandria · 10 months ago

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He suffered more than Jesus Christ - a Vampire Armand review

Spoiler alert!

Hi everyone, I finished the book by the second week of january, and I was at a complete loss of words to describe how much I loved it and how much it impacted me, which is why it took me over a month to finally come here to dissect it. Of course I knew I would love it, since Armand is my favorite character from the Vampire Chronicles, but I wasn't at all ready for the absolute banger of a book his memoir is.

Please note I originally wrote this in portuguese and then translated it to english with DeepL, mainly because I could barely form thoughts in my mother language already and just wouldn't be able to rewrite it in english at all. I revised it, but beware it might still have some weird wording and grammar. Sorry for that!

This sixth book in the Vampire Chronicles was a divine gift from Anne Rice to all of us Armand Lovers. "The Vampire Armand" tells, in much more detail, the brief story we had known in "The Vampire Lestat", now through the mouth of Armand himself, who takes us from his childhood abduction to the point where we left him in "Memnoch the Demon". And I have to say, it's no wonder he's like that.

Armand has always been very intriguing to me, ever since, back in Interview with the Vampire, he was just this mysterious, manipulative figure who fell for Louis' charms and was willing to do whatever it took to have him all to himself. But even so, he wasn't much more than that to me, just another vampire trying to use Louis for his own interests.

It was in Vampire Lestat that I fell completely in love with this character and that he earned the title of my favorite of the Chronicles. The contrast between the first time Louis sees Armand in the theater and the first time Lestat sees Armand in the church left me completely confused, after all, how can the guy Louis repeatedly describes as stunning be as wrecked as Lestat describes? What happened to get from one extreme to the other? And of course we find out the answer in the part dedicated to Armand's story in the second book, and of course that chapter solidified him on my list of favorites.

But it's very different to have read Armand's story through Lestat's eyes and now to be reading it through Armand's. In fact, I think that's the great strength of "The Vampire Armand". In all the previous books, all Armand's appearances were described through someone else's eyes (be it Louis, Daniel or Lestat), and that was largely the reason why he remained so mysterious in my eyes. But it's almost impossible to maintain that kind of distance in this sixth book, when everything is told in such a personal, vulnerable way, so close to Armand. He finally speaks for himself and we can finally understand him more deeply.

Of course, this characteristic of the book makes it a story much more linked to the characters than to a plot per se. In other words, the point of this book isn't the crazy twists and turns or headlong adventures we're used to in previous volumes of the Chronicles. The point is Armand and his life story, it's about his relationships over the years, about all the things he's been forced to go through, about his relationship with religion and about what could have led him to do what he did towards the end of Memnoch. There are certain parts that can be tiresome and also some that give the impression of being the same thing in two different places. In addition, this book is the one with the most sexual content of all its predecessors (yes, including The Tale of the Body Thief and Memnoch, trust me!) and also has a strong religious content (but which, in my opinion, has much more of a place than it did in Memnoch. To be honest, I have very strong opinions about Memnoch, but we'll talk about that another time), all of which may put some readers off. But I have to say, and perhaps I'm kinda biased, that all these elements enriched the book for me and are some of the many reasons why I loved it so much.

If I had to summarize this book in two elements, they would be: Christian guilt and the eternal search for love. Assad Zaman, the actor who plays Armand in the AMC series, said in an interview that Armand was simply desperate for love, to love and be loved, and it's the purest truth. Throughout his story, the search for love was defining, and not just any love, but a deep, obsessed, devotional love. Andrei finds this love in Jesus Christ and the Orthodox Church, Amadeo finds this love with Marius and the other apprentices in Venice, Armand is completely tormented precisely because he can't find this love anywhere for most of his life. He needs something to devote himself to completely, which is sad in itself, but is even worse when I remember that, for most of his 500-year long life, he has been lost in this aspect.

As for the question of Christian guilt, I have to say that it actually goes a little further than this concept can illustrate. Vampire Armand's religiosity is central to the plot because it's one of the main dilemmas in his life and, surprisingly, it's one of the most beautiful things in the book for me. I have very strong opinions about Memnoch and Anne Rice's decision to include religiosity like that in the series, but I simply love its place in Vampire Armand. Maybe that's it, after all: that religion has a place in this story, unlike in the previous book.

Andrei grew up as an Orthodox Christian and, as soon as his artistic gifts were discovered, he was taken to live in the monastery, where the concept of religiosity was intrinsically linked to suffering, self-denial, absolute devotion at the expense of one's own well-being. And then he is kidnapped and not only taken to a land full of sin, but forced to live in the very passage to hell. Of course, all this until he is rescued by Marius, at which point Andrei becomes Amadeo and is introduced to a new religious philosophy. It's so obvious that this is a breaking point, on some level, with previous beliefs that in the rescue scene Amadeo believes that Marius is Jesus Christ himself who has come to save him (which is indicative, in a way, of how in this part of his life the god that Amadeo worships is Marius, his master).

As Amadeo, he discovers a life full of love and pleasure, contrary to everything he experienced in the monastery. And I'm not just talking about sexual pleasure, which was a big part of this change, but all the others. The pleasure of dressing luxuriously and buying whatever you want, of being able to eat and drink to your heart's content, of consuming lots and lots of art freely, of being able to study philosophers from the past and a million other things and, of course, eventually, of blood and death.

It's very interesting to see this dichotomy of philosophies in Armand's life, and how he seems to reconcile the two after his visit to Kiev, when he's already a vampire. And my God, what a shattering chapter Kiev was! Definitely my favorite part of the book, I don't think even the iconic "if I'm an angel, paint me with black wings" (yes, go on Edgylord…) can overcome how much I love Kiev. Knowing what happened to Andrei's family, his reunion with his father, the part where he goes back to the monastery, my God, unparalleled!!! But, in fact, the best part of it all is Amadeo finally being able to make peace with this part of his past and finding some balance between everything he learned at the Monastery and everything he learned from Marius.

Unfortunately, theres only so far happiness can go, because then itcomes misfortune. And misfortune comes in the form of the Children of Darkness who literally set fire to everything, including Marius. And then, once again, Amadeo is kidnapped from his home and forced to live against his own principles. He is tortured, forced to starve, forced to watch all the other apprentices being burned alive, forced to feed on Riccardo who was very dear to him and, finally, forced to accept a life so similar to the one he rejected. This is the birth of Armand.

It's also very interesting how the doctrine of the Children of Darkness mirrors the Orthodox doctrine of the Kiev Monastery: self-denial in servitude to the Lord, an extremely rigid doctrine, literally burying oneself alive and living underground. Just another christianity-based cult, right? And, despite having sworn to himself shortly before that he would never surrender to such a life, Armand "converts". Very sad, but not surprising, considering that throughout the book he has been conflicted between these two sides and now one of them is gone forever. Marius is gone, the apprentices are gone, Venice is gone. Armand has nothing left to cling to, only what is forced upon him.

And so we come to the Bridge of Sighs. It's centuries of being brainwashed by this cult, believing that this life was what he deserved, that this was what it meant to be a vampire, until Lestat finally arrives and ends it all. Of course, the cult ending doesn't mean that Armand has finally found himself because, as we know from all the previous books, the poor guy is still in deep shit (and committing atrocities, of course). There's the theater, then Louis, then Daniel, but nothing really seems to fulfill him (even though he loved Louis and Daniel.By the way, poor Daniel oh my god). It's no wonder that, at the first sight of proof of the existence of God in Memnoch, Armand immediately wants to sacrifice himself, after all, even after all this time, religion is still the only thing he "has".

Anyway, after all this, we finally arrive where we left off in the previous book and understand how Armand survived. Benji and Sybelle are perfect, sweethearts, babydarlings and I've never been so happy to see Armand with his little family (and I've never wanted to beat Marius up as much as I did in the last chapter of this book). The scene in the chapel is wonderful and shows me how much Armand and Lestat love each other even though they hate each other, which is also clear from the many times Armand mentions Lestat in the book, always with affection and admiration. Very frenemies of them <3. Btw, just let me say this: it's really funny that people were shocked when Lestat let Armand get close to him and DRINK his blood, when he hadn't let anyone else. That's the thing, I don't even think it was because it was Armand, I honestly think that if any of them (Marius, Louis, Gabrielle) had tried, Lestat would have let them too, but nobody dared after he destroyed a vampire who tried. Maybe he just didn't want a complete stranger trying to take advantage of him while he was in a coma…? Ouch, but anyway, another Lesmand moment for our happiness.

I'm genuinely curious to know what direction Armand will take now, after an obvious rejection from Jesus Christ himself. If this had happened at any other time in his life, I'd be sure that Armand would have completely lost his mind and all meaning in life, but I doubt that this will happen now that he has his children (in whom he has finally found a healthy love). So, I'm left wondering how he's going to cope with everything and I'm waiting for my answers in the next books, even though I know he'll appear again from time to time.

This is definitely my favorite of the Vampire Chronicles and I'm so glad I finally read it!

#the vampire armand #the vampire chronicles #gia reads #books of 2024 #jan 2024 #bookblr #readerblr #readers of tumblr #he is everything to me #i would lay my life for him #and he would let me #he is the absolute worst and he has all the right to be #armandinho #btw didnt talk much about marius in this one #im saving it for when i read blood and gold #i do love him i do #problematic fave

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jenanigans1207 · 11 months ago

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Hi, i was wondering if you have any advice for a first time smut writer? Especially when the writer doesn't even have experience kissing?

I've had an idea for a bonus nsfw chapter for my long term GO wip, and over the months, I have created a detailed account of what will happen with dialogue in my head. But I'm worried that only reading NSFW fics will not be enough to help write it well.

I would ask in a discord server, but may end up gifting it to a friend, and they're in all my servers 😅 Getting advice there might ruin the whole "surprise! I've written a sexy fic!" if I do end up gifting it.

Hi!! Oh man, I don’t know how much help I’m going to be, but I’ll sure try!

I think the biggest thing I can say, and I genuinely can’t stress this enough: you’re going to feel awkward as hell the first time you write smut. To this day I still feel super awkward when I write smut, like I need to look over my shoulder in case someone is looking at my computer screen or this happens to be the moment I’m finally proven right that mind-readers exist and one is reading the smut straight from my brain. So if you feel that way when you write it, don’t panic! It’s not a sign that you aren’t meant to be writing it or that you’re doing a bad job writing it!

My second biggest piece of advice is to remember that this is part of a larger fic. And I hope this makes sense when I say this! It’s not just smut that you’re writing, it’s a natural progression of the dynamic that you’ve been building up for all those chapters. By now you have the character voices and personalities in your head— trust those! Lean into it a little, let them take the lead a bit. If you don’t end up liking how something is written, you can always rewrite it! (Though I will always advocate for simply pasting what you’re getting rid of in another doc instead of outright deleting it just to be safe!)

Third: remember that they’re people. Whether it’s an au where they’re human or they’re still celestial beings, the boys are disastrous idiots at the best of times (that’s why we love them). So don’t be afraid to let it be awkward or uncoordinated sometimes. If you feel like one of them doesn’t know what they’re doing, okay! A lot of us don’t!! And depending on the scenario you’ve put them in, maybe one of them hasn’t ever kissed before either, which allows you to lean into it a little and hopefully make it more comfortable! The point is, nothing is ever perfect. It’s messy, it’s full of emotions, and it’s usually clumsy and heartfelt and it’s okay to write it that way!

If you don’t have a deadline or need to post/send to your friend right away, I recommend taking a few days away from it and reading it again. It’s hard to look at anything you write objectively when you’ve been so close to it for so long. Taking a step away and coming back gives you a better chance of seeing the story the way your readers will— and I guarantee you that you’ll think it’s even better than you remember it being. Even if you thought it was the best thing you ever wrote, you’ll love it more when you are able to look at it a little more objectively! If you can’t take the time away, totally fair. Find someone you trust, someone who knows the rest of your fic so they have the whole story, and ask them to read it.

If you get stuck, and you have someone you trust enough, you can do what I do with my writing friends which is playing Questions! You talk a little about where you’re stuck at in the plot and they just ask you any question that comes to mind. Not always huge, plot-relevant questions, but questions about how a character feels, or how an outside character would respond, etc. and in working out the answers to those questions, I think you’ll find the bits of plot that you’re looking for! It’s always been a huge help to me, and it’s tons of fun!

Oh, and lastly— I think it’s absolutely phenomenal that you wrote an outline of everything! I’ve never been great at plotting or outlines so I’m jealous. But remember not to hold yourself too rigidly to the outline. If you forget something or veer off of where you intended to go for a bit but you like the outcome, don’t beat yourself up over it! Like I said before, you can always rewrite something you don’t like.

So I guess my biggest piece of advice is don’t take it too seriously and don’t put too much pressure on yourself. It’s still writing and it’s a natural progression of a story you’ve already spent all this time telling. You know how the story goes, you know how the characters act, you got this!!!

I don’t know if this ended up being helpful at all, but I hope it is! It’s lovely that you’re doing this for your friend and I’m sure they’re going to adore it!!!

#writing advice #if I’m qualified to be giving writing advice anyway

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recurring-polynya · 10 months ago

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Writing/Art Update 3.5.2024

So, Polynya, did you finish the fanfic? Well...sort of? No. No, I guess the answer is actually no.

Last week, I said I had two and a half scenes left, one of which was the epilogue, and one scene I wanted to rewrite. I wrote the scene and a half that were not the epilogue, and then I tried to do that scene re-write. It came out better than it was, but I still didn't love it. I figured I would just go ahead and write the epilogue and then maybe come back and try again. 3/4 of the epilogue went great, and then I just couldn't manage to end it, and got stuck for three days. I went back and tried to re-write that scene I didn't like *again*, and barely got into before realizing that the way I was hoping to make it better did not, in fact. Yesterday, after Much Struggle, I managed to pull together an end to epilogue with is...okay...but I don't love it. So the current state of things is: 107,408 words, and it is strictly speaking, A Whole-ass Fanfic, but with two half-scenes that I hate.

It's really frustrating, because I had a bunch of productive weeks in a row, and my brain has just utterly collapsed on me in the eleventh hour. I've been trying so hard to push it over the finish line, but it's one of those things where I can't just brute force it, I need to somehow have a good idea. I am also so so tired this week. I know, logically, that probably I just need to relax and rest up for a few days and this will be easy to fix when I am feeling better, but it's hard to relax when I have this stupid almost-but-not-quite-done fanfic hanging over my head.

Here are some other stupid facts:

The scenes in question are important and I want them to be good, but they aren't exactly load-bearing, in the sense that nothing else depends on them

I don't even *need* the epilogue, and in fact, after I realized that I end all my Heart is a Muscle fics with people drinking (not on purpose, I'm just unoriginal), it made me want to drop the whole thing on principle (except that I also don't because it's sort of a thematic lead-in to the next story in the series and also Ukitake is there)

The two problem scenes are way at the end of the fanfic. When I do start posting this thing, I plan to post one chapter per week like I often do, meaning that I have literal months to fix these

Chapter 1 is beta'd and ready to go and literally nothing is stopping me from posting it this very second

BUT I don't want to post Chapter 1 until my beta has seen the whole fic because what if she notices something in Chapter 12 that needs to be fixed back in Chapter 1

AND literally nothing is stopping me from just sending my beta the last few chapters with a little note on the scenes I'm not happy with. It's highly possible she might have some ideas! Or just be like "you are insane these are fine"!

EXCEPT I don't want her to see my bad writing that I am embarrassed about

And so, here we are. I am probably going to give it another day or two, and if I can't manage to fix those two scenes, I'll just suck it up and send the rest to her.

I guess I also should re-do the banner, except I don't feel like re-doing the banner. It's....okay. I don't know. I just kind of slapped it together based on a thing we were doing at Art Club. Maybe I don't even want a banner.

Speaking of Art Club, it's March now, which meant there was a new theme at Art Club (nature) and I decided to try to get back into my daily drawing. I think this is possibly what killed my momentum on my fanfic. I am just literally only capable of having one priority at a time, even if it's a little tiny one, otherwise my brain just plays tug of war with my priorities and it's hard to manage either of them.

Anyway, I've been in kinda rough shape for the last few days, but I am sure it will pass. It's got some good bits, but I think I just never really managed to fall in love with this one, and I'm really worried about it getting a cooler reception than I'm used to, since the fandom seems to have quieted down significantly since the last time I posted one of these. On the other hand, I've worked too hard on this to not post it. Also, it's got some stuff in it that had to happen for the series to progress. And maybe other people will like it! Who knows! Not me!!

I had hoped to be able to start posting it this week, but that's not looking likely at this point, so I guess you can have another preview.

--- from Ch 3

"You really didn't have to go to all this trouble," Rukia pointed out, as she methodically piled her bowl with a heaping serving of everything on offer.

Renji grabbed a big pinch of the shirasu before passing it over to her. "It's fine. I'm not sure when I'll be up for cooking again, so I'm trying to clean out my fridge."

"Oh, so I'm helping?"

Renji grinned. "Sure."

"I love helping! If you need me to take this pickled ginger with me, I could take it off your hands."

"I think the pickles will probably keep for a bit."

"Hmmph," Rukia replied skeptically, and scooped some more into her bowl.

It was always difficult not to just sit and watch Rukia eat, in part because she truly did have an extraordinary talent for shoveling food into her mouth, but mostly because it reminded Renji of why they had come to the Seireitei in the first place, of how lucky he was these days. You have to go to work, too, this morning, he reminded himself, and dug in.

"You know, speaking of helping…" Rukia said a few minutes later, once she'd managed to eat enough to shave the edge of her morning ravenousness. "There's something I want to talk to you about."

The pleasant feelings in Renji's chest abruptly turned cold and gloppy. He frowned, and raised one eyebrow skeptically. “Yeah?”

Rukia looked up at him with her big, stupidly blue eyes. “Do you remember when we talked about how important it was for you to have a comfortable and peaceful recovery from your surgery?”

“I do. I distinctly remember asking you to drop it and not bring it up, again, actually.”

“Right, well, I never actually agreed to that. I think that you should come stay at my house.”

Renji gave her an incredulous look. “Your house? Kuchiki Manor, you mean? Your house that is actually my captain’s house?”

“It’s very nice there, as you know. The food really is very good and we have a million servants with nothing better to do--”

“I am sure they have better things to do, Rukia.”

“--and you can sit in a sunny spot in the garden and I’ll read you books and it will be so much nicer than staying in the Coordinated Relief Station!”

Renji heaved a huge, exasperated sigh. “It’s a nice idea, Rukia, but think about the look on Captain’s face if you even--”

“He said it was okay.”

Renji felt all the blood run out of his face, possibly out of his body entirely. “You asked him?”

“I know you’re only getting it done because he ordered you to. He obviously wants you to do your best to heal up well. He cares about you, too, you know, in his own way.”

Renji stiffened, his fingers tightening on his chopsticks. “You probably told him the whole story, then? How I broke my arm in the first place?” His voice sounded like it was coming from somewhere far away.

“Not the whole thing!" Rukia shook her head vehemently. "He knows you broke it saving me, that's the only important part.”

Renji drew in a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut. All he could focus on was the sound of his own blood pounding in his ears. “Why do you always have to do this?” he finally managed through gritted teeth. “I asked you to just leave it, but you never can.”

Rukia shoved out her lower lip. “Maybe if you took care of yourself half as well as you take care of everyone else, I would!” she protested. “Just let me spoil you for a few days, would it be so terrible?”

“Yes.”

#writing update #art update #here's hoping that posting all this will expel it from my system and i can turn around the fix my stupid bad scenes

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batbirdies · 5 months ago

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Hi! Love your stories but I was wondering what is your writing process? I want to start writing Batfam but it's so intimidating with making creators like you, I just feel like I'll never measure up! What do you do for inspo? Do you plan out every chapter? How long does it take you to write? Do you already know how the stories will end?? Sorry if this is to invasive!

Aw thank you so much that’s very flattering!!

I would try not worry about “measuring up” to anyone as much as that’s easier said than done 😅. Just remember there will always be readers who like your work even if you think it could be better.

As far as your questions no worries! I’m happy to answer questions like this :)

I get inspo from lots of things! Mainly reading really good fic inspires me to write. As far as ideas they come from everywhere! Sparked by other fic often where I think “this is a cool idea but what if this part was different?”

Or sometimes by reading fic I didn’t love lol because I like the idea but want to execute it in a way I prefer.

Otherwise I think discussing ideas and head canons with others is one of the best ways to flesh out and get new ideas. Discord is the way to go. (As far as finding discord servers to join, this can be hard, but if you ask around there are usually some open to inviting new people)

Do I plan out every chapter? I’m inclined to say yes. Usually I write a first draft of the entire fic, then I start a rewrite and post each chapter as I finish the second draft of it. This usually leads to big changes and deviations from the original draft as I go, so I don’t always stick to the plan and often have to go back to the drawing board but yes, I do have a plan.

For me trying to write a publishable draft without a rough draft feels like trying to draw perfect line art without a sketch. It’s just doesn’t work for me.

How long does it take me to write? Honestly impossible to answer 😂 it varies drastically. I wrote CCAKT in about year including first and second draft, the second draft reaching 250k words. I also wrote Live While Breathe and I’ll Come Out Right on the Other Side that same year. Which amounts to roughly 340k words of second draft in one year. The 23k of LWIB was done in about 3 days. So I wrote a LOT that year and fast.

This has since not been the case lol. Took me about a year and half to finish the 31k of overcoming our antecedents. Then theres Penny drops.

I’ve been working on it for like 2 and a half years at this point and I’ve been incredibly slow trying to get the next few chapters out because I keep being unhappy with them. And also because I’ve had some health issues and it’s been hard to have the energy to work on it. I have taken significantly long breaks from writing all together at different times because of fatigue and burnout. But I try to stick with things and eventually finish long projects.

Do I already know how a story will end? Again, yes and no lol. I always have a plan of how it will end from the beginning, but with long fics i inevitably hate my original plan by the time i get there and have to totally rework what i previously had in mind. (This is really the reason i do a first and second draft, my rewrite is always SO much better in my mind than my original ideas)

Short fics are less that way and I usually stick with the plan.

Having said all of that I definitely want to emphasize that everyone is going to have a different process that works for them! Best thing to do is try different methods. I know I’m rare for fully drafting stuff and rewriting it so that might not work for you, but I know @cdelphiki does the same thing. She’s the only other fic writer I know that does it tho lol.

@coyote-nebula plots more with timelines and lists and then writes her scenes out of order but in perfectly publishable prose from the beginning, then does heavy editing run throughs and keeps notes on points to remember when she’s continuing long fics. (I am not nearly so organized)

And of course there’s many other methods! Best thing to do is jump in and try some stuff!

#Batbirdies answers #anon ask

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martsonmars · 2 years ago

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Hello friends! First SSS of the year for me. Also an early post because I want to write after sleeping and maybe some validation early in the day will help 💖 I have six snippets from six WIPs to share (only the fifth one written today, which makes me sad because I really wanted to share new new words, but it's okay) and I want to talk about them, so I'm throwing everything under the cut with the tags.

You can vote for the WIP you'd like me to continue the most (except Like We Had A Clue, because I know people are waiting for an update and it would skew the vote hahaha). Pick one of the other 5! Though as always I'll follow inspiration and not what the people want.

Love you all <3 hope you're taking care of yourself in these trying times.

1. First EGF WIP. I have many ideas for EGF, but considering a) possible writer's blocks, b) exams, c) other non EGF related WIPs, I honestly don't know how much I'll manage to write. This one is the most “urgent” one because it's a collab with @aroace-genderfluid-sheep and he's already done so many cool things for it and I'm so excited!!! The snippet I'm sharing is all I've written for this fic. Oh well!

“You could've at least sent us to Dante's inferno. That would've been intellectually stimulating.”

“This place is plenty stimulating.”

Of course it is. It's a fucking sex dungeon.

2. Second EGF WIP. I shared something from this already. There's hope I'll finish this one because it's short, but knowing myself I can't make promises hahaha.

“I’m sorry,” they say. Their voice is deep and smooth, like I imagine a cello would sound if it could talk. “I don’t think I can have dinner with you tonight.”

I can’t hide how much it stings. Of course my monster under the bed would come out just to reject me.

3. Like We Had A Clue. Chapter 5 is outlined in detail but I'm still struggling so much with it. Have some sentences I might have shared already in the past because I wrote them months ago!

“Are you trying to trap me, Snow? Keep me here to make food for you forever?”

“What if I am?”

I raise an eyebrow. His hand is still on my arm. He lets it fall.

4. WIP I shared from a couple of weeks ago. I want to have fun with this so I'm not forcing myself to write it, but I also really want to finish it. It's a struggle, always 🤣

(There's nothing innocent about four thousand words of Fangvald having a pity wank after Cherry spat on his face and demanded to know the true motives behind his betrayal.)

But it's fanfiction. Exploring fictional worlds and fictional characters and fictional relationships.

It would say nothing about me if he hadn't also linked two of my longest 4am rants about loneliness and deserving love.

5. Mystery WIP. I started plotting it yesterday and I've already lost steam. We'll see if it ever gets written.

25/12, 11:27AM

basiltea: Of course I'll help you.

basiltea: You can't be trusted to handle this alone and make it work.

Excalisbury: I LOVE YOU

basiltea: I'm just saving you from yourself.

6. Picture book story! The issue with this one is that I have to rewrite it completely. I have @johnwgrey's super useful notes, but I hate rewriting and editing with a burning passion, and this story needs so much work it hurts. But I'll do it!

Of course Snow had no reason to trust him. The fact that Baz had decided he’d never even try to hurt him again couldn’t erase five years of antagonism. Especially because Snow didn’t know about his change of heart. (It would’ve been ridiculous. Hey, Snow, I decided I don’t hate you anymore. Quite the opposite, instead. Can I kiss you?)

That was a lot. I feel like Simon and Baz are possessing me because I want to write SO MUCH, I literally can feel the words pushing to get out, but the second I open a doc it all fades out. Ugh. Hopefully I'll be more motivated in the morning.

So many no pressure tags for you lovelies:

@wellbelesbian @urban-sith @tea-brigade @sillyunicorn @mostlymaudlin @facewithoutheart @palimpsessed @otherpeoplesheartachept-2 @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @forabeatofadrum @fatalfangirl @prettylightsbigcity @whatevertheweather @jbrrring @confused-bi-queer @moodandmist @bookish-bogwitch @letraspal @dragoneggos @captain-aralias @takitalks @excalisbury (stealing your @ for Simon's Discord username hahaha) @otherworldsivelivedin @cutestkilla @ileadacharmedlife @gekkoinapeartree @bazzybelle @basiltonbutliketheherb @messofthejess @ivelovedhimthroughworse @nightimedreamersworld @artsyunderstudy @foolofabookwyrm-activated @ionlydrinkhotwater @yellobb @orange-peony @ic3-que3n @whogaveyoupermission @katmiscellanious @yeonjunenby @erzbethluna @larkral @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @shrekgogurt @raenestee @onepintobean @stitchyqueer @hushed-chorus

#six sentence sunday #my writing

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melting-houses-of-gold · 5 months ago

Note

For your ask game! For "Can we live with just a taste?" Or a current wip of yours!

3, 16, 24 and 26!

Ooh! I’ll do all of these for could we live with just a taste! List of questions is here :)

3) Did the idea change at all by the time the fic was complete?

Very little in this fic changed from my original idea! I had crippling insomnia while I was pregnant and frantically wrote what became chapters 3 and 4 between 2-6 am haha. I knew how the fic was going to end on day 1, and then I backfilled and seeded stuff in chapters 1 and 2 from there!

16) Talk about the fic’s biggest moment & how you came up with it

For me, the biggest moment is the conversation they have in chapter 4 where you finally get something of Ahsoka's thoughts and (hopefully) things begin to fall into place and Rex is finally able to understand some of her actions before and during the fic. This was actually the thing that I wrote and rewrote a bunch of times because pregnant me REALLY leaned into the misunderstanding trope and not-pregnant me was stuck with trying to navigate the fic out of it. I wish I could say I came up with it in a flash of brilliance but really it was just a lot of "they would not fucking say that" and deleting and rewriting until I was semi-happy with it lol.

24) How did you celebrate finishing?

I took a nap! 😂

26) Share your favorite detail

My favorite detail is the first kiss, where Ahsoka takes a sip of her drink, Rex watches a drop fall down her neck, and he's compelled to wipe it away before they kiss.

We know as the readers that probably they talked about the fact that they might have to kiss, that there were probably parameters set in place to not make anyone uncomfortable, etc. And I think in that moment, he's struggling with keeping his cover identity at the forefront because this IS the woman he has serious feelings for, sitting on his lap, he's overthinking everything, and he knows he's just done something that, while mission-appropriate, is a touch that is probably not in the parameters of what they discussed. And HE doesn't know that she knows that he has feelings for her, and that she has feelings for him, and so this is her opportunity to really show him. But of course, in this fic he second guesses EVERYTHING so he's like WOW that was so believable she's really helping us sell this.

And then from there, the rest of their interactions are set by the tone of that first kiss and then they have to kind of keep all their public romantic interactions at that level, and continue simmering.

#rexsoka #could we live with just a taste?#sam replies

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a-force-dyad-in-space · 8 months ago

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A Fanfic Update

Hey guys, I thought I should give you an update about what's going on Ongoing-WIPs-wise just in case you've had some worries.

The short of it is that the writing juices haven't flowed well for a while now and I'm trying to get them back but it is a struggle. I've worked a bit on this fic or other but haven't made significant progress in a few months. I absolutely hope that will change soon but I unfortunately can't force it. It doesn't help that I'm going through some stuff IRL right now that I have to take care of (I am unfortunately an adult who has to do adulting and pay bills and shit 🥲). I try not to be too stressed out about it, but the more time passes the more the anxiety sets in. Wish me luck. 💪🏻

Anyway, here's a fic-by-fic overview, split up by fandom.

THE UNTAMED

The Angsty SongXue Fic — I'll be honest, I've written a little bit since I last updated you guys but I still haven't finished the buffer chapter (at this point I'm thinking about posting chapter 51 even though 52 isn't done yet), so nothing really new here. I really want to get back into a writing flow but so far it hasn't really worked. I am still working on it, though, so don't worry, I'm not going to drop it.

The It Follows AU — I'm ashamed to say I didn't even realize I posted that fic almost two years ago and I still haven't written the second half. I'm so sorry it's taking so long! I definitely still want to finish it! I might rewatch the It Follows movie before I do that, though.

The Observer Series — Oh yeah, remember that smutfic series I started a few years ago of which I've only posted part 1 so far? Yeah, I still need to work on that. I did write chapter 1 of part 2 a while ago, so it's not like it's forgotten, I just need to get my ass up and write the rest of part 2 before I can post it. 🙈

The Color Rush AU — Okay, technically I haven't posted that one yet but I did share a snippet along with a gifset a few years ago, so you guys know it exists. I haven't worked on it in a long time, though, and I don't know yet when I will find the spoons to continue writing it but I'm still intrigued by the premise and want to give it a go. Thank you for your patience!

The Somewhat Sweet, Somewhat Angsty XuanXian Fic — Again, haven't posted that one yet but I've been posting about it, so you guys know it exists. Nothing new on this front. I did want to rewrite the whole thing because I wasn't really happy with the way I wrote it thus far, so I'll probably go back to it at some point and do that, I just don't know when yet.

WORD OF HONOR

The Xie'er Deserves the World Fic — Listen, guys, I love this fic so much, I just haven't worked on it in a while. I'll probably re-read what I've written so far and go on from there, I've just been struggling with the latest chapter ever since I started writing it years ago. It's not dropped, though, I will get back to it! Pinky swear!

SAILOR MOON

I've mentioned here and there that I'm working on part 1 of an epic that is based on a doujinshi I started when I was 13 or 14. Unlike my other WIPs, this one really is 100% self-indulgent to the point where I don't even care whether people will read/like it once I post it when it's completely done. I'll just put it out there to make my teenage self happy because this story has been simmering in my head for over 20 years, and so that my IRL friends can read it if they want to. So, this one will be a long way out, but it exists. I'm only really mentioning it because I've mentioned it a couple of times before and because it's the fic that's been on my mind the most lately.

STAR WARS

You didn't think I forgot about TROBS, did you????? I did work on several beginnings of a draft during NaNoWriMo last year and I'm getting more and more of a clear picture of how I want it to go. For those unfamiliar, TROBS (or The Rise of Ben Skywalker, though I already changed the name of the fic again) is my attempt at an Episode IX fix-it fic that essentially replaces TROS. This one has been simmering in my head since early 2020 and I really want to get it out of there and onto the page for catharsis. I've even held off on reading any other TROS fix-its because of it, even though I've heard there are some really amazing ones out there (and I can't wait to read them once I've gotten my own out of my damn head). I really need to finally finish that beast. Wish me luck. 🥲

UNPOSTED WIPs

I still have so many notes for other fics (mostly for The Untamed) that I want to write at some point. Will I be able to get them all on the page? I honestly don't know, but I'll see where they take.

Anyway, that's all!

#jen's ramblings #jengwrites

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sokokoko · 6 months ago

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I have some old writing from 6 years ago that I want to keep but don't want it to take up space on my phone. So here!

I'm really laughing about how far I've come since then. My eyes are automatically correcting all the mistakes and cringe I see, but I won't actually correct them, for your viewing pleasure ♥︎

I really want to rewrite this one day. Back when I wrote it, I didn't have the skill or dedication to continue on or actually get to all the sweet, fun things I wanted to incorporate.

Pyre & Frost

Chapter 1: Some Say The World Will End In Fire, Some Say In Ice. Pt 1

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

"Hold your dAmN horses Caleb! This forest is private property."

This angry sentence was directed to none other than a black haired teen with dark chocolate eyes.

He was a tall, lanky fellow with tan-coloured skin.

The one delivering the scolding was a teen with strawberry blonde hair, with little strands of light blonde hair to be seen in certain places.

He had pale skin and was about 5'7, while his companion was 6'1.

He too had brown eyes, albeit lighter.

"C'mon Kai, who gave them the right to make it a 'nature reserve'? We've been coming here years before they did! We basically live here, hell, we may as well own it!"

The boy, Kai, frowned sighing. There was just no winning with Caleb around.

"Fine, but we have to go deep, to the unprotected parts. I don't want to get arrested because you want to 's'plore'."

Kai walked ahead past his scoffing friend.

"Damn it Kai. I haven't said s'plore in years! I don't even talk like that anymore..."

But alas, Kai wasn't even listening. Caleb may as well have mumbled that last sentence.

Caleb sulked quietly, as he jogged to catch up with his friend.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

As much as the two didn't want to get arrested for trespassing, maybe they shouldn't have gone so far.

They had never gone this far into the forest before.

Why would they need to?

As far as they were concerned, before, it was THEIR forest. Nobody bothered them there.

If anyone DID enter the forest, it's not like they noticed.

But now THEIR sanctuary was crowded with over-enthusiastic tourists and uncaring chav teens on school tours.

It wasn't fair that they had to go to the dangerous part of the forest, where hideous, heinous roars and growls were heard every few seconds.

This area proved to be more dark and swampy, with rough terrain.

Those stupid people probably took one look at this part of the forest thinking; 'And get my Gucci heels dirty? Heck naw.'

The foliage in the area was also untamed and wild, the tallest trees greedily soaking in sunlight.

Fallen trees were engulfed in moss and mushrooms. The place was, overall, quite gloomy.

Thought I was getting off topic? No, but store this information for later.

Back to those growls, what animal were those? They sounded so in sync, and disgustingly unnatural.

"Kai, which way's back?" Caleb said nervously.

In all the years he had known him, Caleb was the absolute picture of confidence. Nervousness just didn't suit him.

That was the first sign something was wrong.

The second was when all the markings they put on the trees, and stones they left as a trail, completely disappeared.

As in, like, before their very eyes.

One second they're there, looking at the markings and trail ready to follow it back, the next POOF!

"What the hap is fuckening!?" Kai shouted, his poor brain too confuzzled to even English properly.

"I'm not going crazy, right bud? You saw that too right!?" Caleb looked about ready to faint.

So remember those growls that I told you were really important?

Well, they seemed to be getting closer.

And louder.

"So, I'm thinking we should run..."

"But we can't go back the way we came! Those things are probably carnivores..."

Kai, as he said those words, looked close to having a panic attack.

"Ok fine. We might end up somewhere else but as long as we get out of this forest we're fine."

Caleb said trying to compose himself and calm his friend's worries.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

'What went wrong?'

I s'pose you're wondering whose thoughts those are?

Well, those were the thoughts of our two main protagonists.

I also suppose YOU'RE wondering what went wrong?

Well to say it plainly;

Caleb stared unblinkingly into the beast's eyes. Could they even be called eyes?

The beast itself was a raging inferno, a mess of blaze that radiated smoke and ash.

'A beast of pyre.'

That was what Caleb thought as the beast of fire sunk it's fangs into his shoulder.

Kai was having a similar predicament, yet very different.

His beast looked icy, watery and wispy at the same time.

Yet, he could tell it was a beast of ice from how the temperature seemed to drop.

'A beast of frost.'

That was his thoughts as the icy beast sunk cold, icicle-like fangs into his neck.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

(A/N: I hope my narrating wasn't TOO ramble-y.)

Chapter 1.5: Some Say The World Will End In Fire, Some Say In Ice. Pt 2

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Warning: Blood n' stuff. Language?

(A/N: Slightly graphic? Like, one scene.)

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

A loud, gunshot-like noise that rang through the air served as distraction enough.

The noise was most likely poachers in the more docile part of the forest.

The boys ran, ran faster than they ever did before.

Their attackers were on hot pursuit, ready to spill blood. Not like they hadn't already.

Caleb's shoulder was bleeding so hard the crimson colour could be seen through his black shirt.

Kai, however was fairing much better. He'd be dead if he wasn't.

The frost-beast managed to miss any important veins or pressure points.

He was still bleeding heavily as the beast had sunk it's claws into his arms to pin him down properly.

He was glad he wore a t-shirt, small victories.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Tired, tired, they were oh so tired.

To top it all off, it was raining.

The blood by now had clotted, crusty patches adorning their injuries.

Kai let out a grunt of acknowledgement as he and Caleb stumbled into a house.

A mansion more like.

It had that cliché 'haunted mansion' vibe going for it, creeky floorboards and all.

Shelter's shelter. Am I right?

But Caleb was being unusually quiet.

"Caleb, before you say it, no, this isn't your fault. Well, not entirely. I was the one who said we should go deeper into the forest and if you say anything except it's both our faults I will get you un-emancipated. Somehow."

Caleb let out a hearty laugh, it was the most joyful he'd been in hours.

"We're both shitheads."

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

After a couple hours of rest, the two shitheads were prepared to leave. It had even stopped raining, just for them!

Well they were PREPARED to leave, until they heard two voices chatting amongst themselves.

"Brother, the legend is coming true. The elements of Pyre and Frost are entering their true bloodlines once again."

Did I forget to mention that the 'voices' were a set of creepy ghost twins like in the movies?

Darn it. I did, didn't I ?

USUALLY, something like that warrants a scream but Caleb and Kai knew now wasn't the time.

"Yes Sister. For the first time in centuries, I heard the calls of the two unholy beasts. Their union was most beautiful."

The 'sister' giggled creepily as she grinned an inhuman grin.

"Wonderful! Oh, what was that one poem? The one by a man of the name Robert Frost, Brother?"

"Fire and ice, Sister. It reminds you of the legend, does it not?"

"The first time they appear, they shall bring ruin to entire civilisations. They shall brand the bloodline of those they deem worthy."

"The worthy ones will bring upon either destruction or a new era. Should the worthy Pyre choose the path of destruction he will be destroyed by his own selfish desires."

"Should the worthy one of Frost choose the path of destruction he will be destroyed by his own loathe-ful hatred. Only together, as Pyre & Frost can they bring about a new era."

"All that's left now is to see if after their encounter with the beast of Pyre and beast of Frost, will they bring about an era of peace or tyranny?"

Kai and Caleb didn't even notice when the two started to speak in unison.

They had encountered a beast of Pyre and one of Frost.

Hadn't they?

They ran from the building, unknowingly being guided back home by the two phantoms.

"They seem to be close friends. Whatever their newfound strengths are used for, destruction or creation, they'll bring it about together, Sister."

"Most curious, Brother. Most curious indeed."

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

(A/N: And so starts our story.)

#writing #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #soko #writeblr #writers #creative writing #old writing #6 years ago #my writing #pyre and frost #the a/n parts are also preserved from the original #this is unreasonably funny to me

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lostvi21 · 1 year ago

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Tips for writing

I already had another story which I never got to post, since I kept rewriting it into eternity. After forcing myself to take a break from it, I think I finally figured out a way to keep consistently writing a story. So, I thought maybe this post might stumble across a reader who struggles with similar things as I did and I could provide a possible solution without them needing to go through a year and over 10 different versions of a first chapter ending in a failed project. (and admitting that I needed to stop was what hurt the most since I really love the idea I had and maybe I might even try to restart that story, but that's a topic for another post in maybe 2 to 3 years.)

Also Disclaimer: This is only my opinion on the matter and what I figured to be helpful. In the end, it's up to you how you want to write your story and to decide what works for you. I'm just sharing my experiences.

I had a couple of problems which mixed up together until I needed to give up.

First off, I lacked structure. With my first bigger story, I had an idea, a beginning and I knew some major plot points that needed to happen. But what I never knew was when or how the story ended. I just wanted to tell an endless story or figure out an ending on the way. That didn't work for me.

With my current story (which you can check out here, if you're interested) I researched a couple of ways how to structure a story properly. (It was just for fun honestly, but so helpful in the end) I already had, like before a vague idea, and some plot points I wanted to happen. What I did: See if my story would fit into any of these structures and what would happen at which point until the end. And then I found a structure that fit my story (almost) perfectly. After that, I wrote down the plot in bullet points creating my outline for the story.

(Note: Of course, you can take any story structure you find and bend it a little. For example, I decided to go for a three act-structure and decided to skip the introduction part, since I wanted to plunge the reader into the story without heavily explaining what was going on. They would figure it out on the way … )

This means I knew what happened at which moment. And most importantly, I had an ending. Now I had to face my next challenge, fighting my constant urge to rewrite everything. After proceeding with my used-to-way of just writing what comes to my head, I quickly figured out that this wouldn't work. It didn't work earlier and it didn't work now. So, I needed to figure out what was wrong with my approach.

For that, there are multiple options to do so. Either you can ask others for their opinion of what is wrong with your text or try proofreading yourself. I recorded how I read my texts and heard afterwards to the footage while I was reading along (and yes, it sucks hearing your own voice on record, but if you imagine it's another person, it's not that painful anymore, after a while)

Then I had another important realization. I still had no structure in my chapters. The story was now well structured and I knew what I wanted to write the chapter about, but my thoughts were jumping from one thought to another and then back again. To solve this problem, I came up with an approach that still works for me.

Before writing the chapter, I think about what I want to happen in this chapter. For example, in my current story, I needed to introduce the two main characters and they needed to meet. I also wanted to hide some hints on backstory and needed to write about the event that starts the entire story. With that in mind, I just start loosely writing down what comes to my mind. It doesn't matter if it's good or not, since I'm going to rewrite it later on. Once I come to a point, where I completed all of my goals for that chapter, I take what I wrote down and structure the plot into bullet points. Then I take these and write a second version along with the bullet points. This makes sure that my thoughts are structured in the end and that I have a clear storyline to follow.

After that, the last step is proofreading. As already said before, you can ask others to give you feedback or record yourself. Maybe use a grammar program to fix obvious mistakes you've overseen (helps a lot. especially if you're writing in a language that you don't use everyday) In this stage I mostly find some sentences that are hard to read / speak or just some wordings that repeat or don't quite sound right. So I go ahead, mark them and fix them.

And after that, I was by now always satisfied with what I wrote. This method might be a little overkill but it works for me and the most important thing you need to keep in mind: If you'd like to write something, it's supposed to be fun. No matter the way you do it. The process of creating an own story and slowly watching it come alive, that's the feeling that makes me happy and why I keep writing.

Hope you had fun reading and maybe I was able to give you one or another idea on how to write a story. If you want more tips, you can send me an ask or just comment on this post.

#writers on tumblr #writing #writing advice

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mysicklove-main · 2 years ago

Note

Is there anything else you wanna rant about with “your new pack” ?

u just want me to make-out with u don't u 🙄 🙄🙄

but yes sure i can talk for hours, especially since im working on the next chpt currently. (might take bout a week to post tho considering im so busy)

for everyone else not reading this fic, I will post your requests and other stuff after i finish the next chapter!!!

to begin with, i dont know how the hell to make everyone have equal amount of time shown. I want everyone to like all characters, but i accidentally write way more for specific characters than others which is unfair i feel to my (very fictional characters who dont give a fuck) boys. for example, think bout how much we see Keigo compared to Izuku. Its just hard to do it with 5 different ppl so.

I want to rewrite all my beginning chapters bc I feel like i rushed it thinking it was going to be a short story. But here i am, 79k+ words in and the beginning i feel is so so so bad. like i can't even reread it bc i cringe. but i am also so lazy and rlly dont want to rewrite it lol so i just pretend it doesn't exist.

comments, mean way too much to me. Like all writers i love getting a notification that someone commented on my fic, but now its getting to the point where im like, "damn this chpt didn't get many comments, did i do something wrong?" so that's embarrassing and i def need to chill and be grateful for what i have. Im working on it.

Eijiro, Izuku, Shoto are so fucking hard to write and Katsuki and Keigo are so easy to write. Its so strange that im struggling with Izuku, bc he is my favorite, but im trying to show that he is a little fucked up from his past but I also dont want to write him as super quiet. Idk i feel like i kinda brushed off his trauma and i didn't mean to. so that sucks. with Eijiro his actions are easy, simply cause i wrote him as someone to be very touchy and affectionate off the bat. plus he talks alot so. but his internal thoughts are so fucking difficult to write. like what are you thinking bout?? you know she is your mate, but he is trying to get his best friend to get with you. it is so hard. Shoto is the complete opposite. I dont know how the hell he would react in different situations, bc he is more quiet out of the boys, but I want to also show that he is also trying his best too. his deranged thoughts are easy to do, but everything else is a wreck. i think he is the hardest to write for by far.

speaking of shoto his character is so inconsistent. idk if ppl notice, but i do. in the beginning his is more obsessive and has the most negative thoughts. he kinda crazy, u feel me? now, i dont write as much of his creepy perverted thoughts. i just kinda forget to. so now he feels kinda bland and i need to figure out how to bring back some excitement back to his character. maybe this chapter ill go back to the creepy, obsessive, thoughts. it was so fun to write. this all goes back to how hard shots is to write.

I switch perspectives alot and I hope ppl understand what's going on and who is thinking what. I think I have a mix of second person (obvi, with the "you") and 3rd person. bc i narrate others reactions to the situations, and kinda treat Y/N as a character in the story, not as your self. does that make sense??? idk.

since hybrid stories are my fav, i would like to write more, but in different scenarios. for example, another Y/N x Wolf! Katsuki fic, but this katsuki would be a diff one from the other wolf katsuki in Your New Pack. Like i did with the Bunny! Izuku Headcannons. That izuku is diff than Your New Pack one. but would ppl be bored of it?? ik i will never lol.

i wish i could post a poll on who ppl like the best on ao3, just bc im curious who has the most fanboys. (it would prob be keigo tho lol)

i got bored of katsuki wearing the muzzle in the house, so i just trashed it. def poor writing thing to do, but idc at this point, it would throw off my plans for chpts if he was always wearing the muzzle.

sorry i talk alot, but hey u asked for it.

#chit chats #your new pack #ao3

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streetlights-was-taken · 2 years ago

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[postscript] the gardener who only collects seeds

← read on AO3 (available on 230415)

for venlumiweek2023.

day 6: time loop au / "say you'll remember me"

i. conceptualizing the fic

oh god. I'll be honest, I wasn't planning to do this fic at all. but I think time loop and memory are very cool concepts and I would be remiss not to write anything for the day 6 prompts when I have a series dedicated to exploring these very concepts (caesura).

I shuffled through a bunch of ideas. I already had a "time loop"-ish idea back in february, but it was too ambitious to finish before this year’s venlumi week starts. it's like a choose your own adventure fic. if you're interested, I have a demo of how it works here (archive-locked, so you need an AO3 account to access).

unfortunately, writing that fic is the equivalent to writing 9+ fics and becoming an indie game designer. I know my limits. (I might still try writing it one day. but it will definitely take some time.)

the second idea I had for a time loop fic was to write about a storyteller (venti) rewriting their story over and over because it’s never perfect. and each rewrite of the story manifests as a time loop for the characters within it. he does this until he can create a beautiful story, but also because he deeply cares for the characters in it (lumine) and wants the best for them.

but I decided I couldn’t write it exactly that way because I don’t think venti is that much of a perfectionist. he observes and he records, but he's pretty chill about how events unfold. I think that would be more believable for lumine to be the perfectionist, given the hints of her having a martyr/hero complex. however, I do think venti is a great spectator-type of character, and I don’t want his affinity for memories/wind/time to go to waste.

I ended up with the semi-final idea for this fic after taking inspiration from this tumblr post about self-inflicted time loops:

a self-inflicted time loop where lumine keeps rewinding time until she can save everyone in teyvat. venti, who records everything through the winds, is aware of each time loop. lumine, who loses her own humanity as she becomes obsessed with doing a perfect run, rewinding at the slightest inconvenience and failing to connect with the people she wants to save with every loop. and finally venti, who takes pity on her and erases her memory, because he knows lumine will always save teyvat, just as she has 167 times. but she cannot save herself.

it's a little tragic and bittersweet… but I guess I really like writing this kind of fic. I developed the lore around this a bit more as I wrote (more in the next section).

other ideas I considered were:

looping just one event (but genshin doesn't have one that compels me)

doing something similar to link click and life is strange where the character visits the past through photographs (but genshin also didn't compel me here; I like the idea, but I'll probably just write a link click fic if that's the case).

finally, I actually planned for this to only be a 4000-word oneshot because I wanted to finish the fic in one weekend. for some reason, I ended up with 8000 words in three days. uh. yeah.

due to the deadline I set for myself, I did not have the time to polish this fic. I did give this a rough SPAG-edit, but the fic you're reading now is pretty much the first draft with hardly any revisions. there are some concepts that I probably could have executed more elegantly (such as when istaroth breaks the fourth wall). but I didn't really have the time develop this story more, unfortunately.

(there's something quite meta about this too, now that I think about it. we have a fic about a storyteller learning to be satisfied with their story, and what do I — the author of the fic — do? I post the first draft as it is, without revisions 😆)

ii. lore™ and other inspirations

this fic is actually a cool case of plantsing for me. I had a rough outline of the fic for lumine's chapter through the idea I explored above (plotting). but as I was writing venti's chapter, I ended up creating all this lore in the background purely through discovery writing (pantsing).

I was actually going to scrap the idea of venti being a storyteller and teyvat being his story. but then I was thinking of another fic idea (separate from venlumi week) and one of my inspirations for it was the parable of the tree in the in-game book before sun and moon. there is a line there that says:

for it is the god of moments who is able to take "seeds" from this "moment" into the past and the future.

this is where I got the idea of turning each time loop into a seed! this also ties neatly into the phrase, "seeds of stories, brought by the wind, cultivated by time."

the idea of storyteller venti soon evolved into him not just writing a story to be told, but composing a world/story to be "planted" into the fabric of reality. in a way, all the time loops are simulations of a reality that is yet to be created. (this is also an idea I played with in the cyoa demo too, though I wasn't really sure if I was going to use that idea in this fic until I started writing venti's chapter).

the title is also a play on this concept. the gardener is, of course, venti, who collected 256 seeds over the course of composing the world of teyvat.

composing is a neat word because it refers to the act of creating through artistic labor, and it is specifically tied to the idea of producing works of music and literature. which is exactly what a bard does! so I used composer as the title of... whatever it is venti and istaroth does.

with all of these elements in place, I can't help but take inspiration from other works as well. specifically:

svsss: my favorite thing about this novel is shen yuan and shang qinghua’s relationship with the narrative, so I was also inspired by that as well. particularly, how shen yuan’s kindness literally changed the narrative. and the overall readership/authorship commentary we have from shang qinghua. (cumplane also happens to be my favorite ship from this novel, which is fun to think about some meta subtext fuckery going on there where all the other characters falling for sqq just further legitimizes cumplane because those characters are all figments of sqh's imagination and— okay I'll stop here now because this is not the point of this post. but yeah basically the idea of the author falling for someone in the story and the world reflecting those intentions.)

twewy: I wrote a lot of twewy fics back in the day so you can't expect me to write about composers and not think about twewy. twewy doesn't really tie into the fic too much besides the whole composer thing, but when you're really into twewy it just makes the fic extra fun I think. like I said in the end notes, I was this 🤏 close to write seed:168 where venti knowingly calls lumine by name before asking for it, just like how joshua does it with neku in week two.

finally, I decided on 168 loops for lumine as a reference to the number of materials you need to ascend a character (this is also the same number of loops in the dream-battle samsara with scaramouche).

I decided on 88 loops for venti because 256 was the number of dots I can use for the hourglass art lol. it was just a happy coincidence that 256-168=88, and that 88 is a neat number to end a time loop with.

iii. a time loop is a puzzle

it really is! often, the character is already stuck in some way before the time loop starts, and the time loop breaks when they either achieve character development or break the puzzle that is trapping them.

I think lumine and venti approach the time loop puzzle from opposite ends. lumine regresses through her time loop. she becomes less connected to the world through it, and she aims for perfection that she can't achieve. she starts seeing her friends as more like characters in an unskippable cutscene than as people.

meanwhile, venti actually grows through his time loop. he began as a composer, but only through going through several lifetimes does he start to understand what it actually means to live and to love. he connects more with the world around him as he goes through the loops. he sees his characters more as people, as friends, and he is delighted that lumine can bring out the complexities that they offer instead of letting them stay as tropey stereotypes.

for both characters, the time loops are self-inflicted. they can stop at any time. venti lets go of his control over the time loops to lumine because that was his ultimate expression of love at that time. this was proof that he grew through the loops.

lumine was actually already in her best form in venti's 87th loop. she was in a world that was designed to love her, and she in turn was a loving person. however, venti advised her to focus on the destination instead of the journey. then he gave her the hourglass. this changes lumine's character and enables her regression in the time loops.

only by breaking the time loop and resetting her back to how she was in the beginning does she go back to her loving self. she was already happy before. venti didn't need to change her.

it is with both time loops that venti learns all his lessons in life and creates the most optimally designed world for lumine to love.

iv. narrative arrangement and the emotional journey

although the story started with lumine's chapter, this is very much a venti-centric story. lumine's chapter, for me, served more as a prologue to what was really going on in the background.

I quite like how I arranged the narrative. it is not chronological, but I think it most effectively delivers the emotional journey I want the reader to experience. lumine's chapter serves as an introduction to the time loop, the kind of world she lives in, and the kind of effects a self-inflicted loop can bring about. lumine knows less about the mechanics of this world, and she is the protagonist of venti's story, so she serves her role well as the one to introduce us this world. it also makes her into an unreliable narrator sometimes.

then she tips the hourglass at the end of her chapter. the reader is then transported to venti's chapter and his time loop. it's a bit of twist later on that his time loop actually happens before lumine's, so we actually get two time loops in one chapter. one is venti's loop, and the other is his pov during lumine's loop.

inserting venti's loop in between two povs of lumine's loop (first chapter, lumine pov; second half of second chapter, venti pov) also shows the contrast of the two loops more. where lumine regresses, venti grows. where venti becomes hopeful, lumine becomes hopeless. and so on, and so forth.

his pov in lumine's time loop is also important to show how much impact lumine leaves in his world. when she loves, the world loves her back. when she is detached, the story breaks apart in different ways. tighnari doesn't trust her, albedo becomes obsessive, festivals become gloomy (and come on. genshin is festival impact. when there are no archon quests, festivals are the bread and butter of this game).

the second chapter has two loops to follow, like an hourglass. the structure of the second chapter is very reminiscent of one imo. though I didn't really plan that out as I was writing; it's just something I noticed during my own read through of the draft. pretty neat how things can end up like that. I think this is what people call serendipity.

v. planting seeds and breaking walls

this part is, admittedly, probably something I could have executed better. I debated over just not doing it, but I wanted to try anyway and see if it works. I love meta bullshit in my stories.

yes, the seed istaroth plants is not really about teyvat: venti's world, but about venti and lumine themselves. about their story through the loops. in other words, the fic you read, the story you witnessed, is exactly the story istaroth planted into reality.

there's some funky implications about this. are we, the readers/author, also observers and composers? hm, yeah, we are. venti even mentions that his composition are just words on a screen.

without its protagonist and without its creator, it is nothing more than words on a screen. a story to be read, but not one that can come to life.

and when istaroth addresses the reader, she also looks beyond the screen.

she looks up, beyond the screen, and smiles. "and that will be a story worth observing."

there are other hints too. the higher dimension is also called the "fourth plane" (aka, the fourth wall). it's even a little cheeky that istaroth says, "we will bear witness to whatever story you choose." because that's exactly what is already happening. every time someone opens this fic and reads it, it is already being observed. we are already bearing witness to the story venti and lumine composed.

well, that was my intention with all of those lines anyway. I'm not sure if it was too subtle or too obvious, or if it fell flat and didn't quite land like I wanted to.

either way, I tried. I'll let the reader decide on that.

vi. ascii art?

honestly, I've thought about looking up if I can do ASCII art on AO3. but I only gave myself three days to finish this whole thing, so I decided against it.

I still ended up coding hourglasses in HTML while procrastinating on this fic lol.

fun fact: the lower half of the hourglass in the first chapter (the triangle, excluding the falling dots) add up to 256 dots. the hourglass in venti's chapter (including the neck) add up to 88 dots.

#fic: the gardener who only collects seeds #postscripts

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cambria-writes · 2 years ago

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ETA 27 Nov 2022: it has taken me literally weeks to realize that this is chapter thirteen, that i posted as chapter twelve, and that there’s a whole almost 4K words missing between this and the chapter i posted before it. i cannot express how much of an utter fucking buffoon i feel like please forgive me oh my god

hello! i think i proofread this, but as i mentioned before I wrote all of this in a trance after a really shit day so. honestly who knows.

i actually. i'm super insecure about this and i really don't. i don't know man. i'm trying not to make reader a mary-sue but i'm also fighting tooth and nail with myself about the fact that it wouldn't matter even if she was. my inner demons are bitches fr. send help

if i'm totally real i might. i might rewrite this and shove a few things into the next chapter. i don't know. i don't know!!

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader rating: M, each chapter rated individually warnings: swearing, bleading, minor injuries, author was dissociated while writing basically, pacing is off the charts word count: 4,481

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕿𝖍𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖊𝖊𝖓: 𝔚𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔬𝔣 ℜ𝔢𝔠𝔞𝔩𝔩

The silence in the RV is practically deafening. Your skin feels too tight and your head feels full of cotton. It’s hard to think past the anxiety of it. For years, now, you’ve had to deal with nightmares, visions and horrifying knowledge that wouldn’t be believed. Years of being made to feel like Cassandra; bringer of prophecy and never believed. You’ve had to watch people die over and over again, without any ability to do anything about it.

You haven’t had much time to stop and think about why you have powers now in the first place. It’s connected to Eleven opening the gate in ‘83, that much you know. Well, you assume. The timing is a little bit too convenient for these things not to be connected.

What you’re not sure about is why all of a sudden you can do things now, instead of just having to spectate. You’re filtering through the events that you remember seeing, but nothing matches up with the timing. Nothing happened right before the night you first plane shifted. Even Chrissy was… even that was after.

A part of you wants to believe it’s just a reactionary thing; maybe some part of you is connected to the Upside Down, maybe it’s just nature providing its new predator with a foil. When you sigh, a hand comes down on your shoulder. You’re sat on the ground between Eddie’s legs; you don’t need to look up to know he’s wanting to ask what’s wrong. You shake your head and wave him off.

You’re overthinking things again.

When Steve hits the brakes on the RV, you slowly get up and follow Lucas, Erica and Sam to the door. You stop on the last step and look out at the house in front of you.

“Well that’s… that looks safe.”

Lucas snorts and Max turns around to look at you.

“Welcome to Creel Manor,” Max says, extending an arm out towards the run down building.

“Wait,” you say, when the three are about to walk off into the house. You reach out to grab Lucas’ hand and put your handgun, grip first, into it. “The safety’s already off, so be careful. Just…” You look from Lucas’ shocked face to the house, behind you to the RV, and back to the boy in front of you. “Anyone show up, aim for the legs, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Lucas agrees, quietly, looking from the gun back to you. “Enough people dead already, right?”

When you give him a pat on the shoulder, the thought comes to you. You run back in to tell Steve to wait for you for just a second, grab one of the soda’s from your designated pack by Eddie’s feet, and run back out, past the kids, straight to the front door.

“Hey, what are you—” Erica starts, but you hiss at the lot of them.

“Shut up, I need to focus.”

You use the corroded knob on the front door to pop open the soda and chug it as fast as you can. It burns the entire way down, and when the bottle is empty you feel like you’re five seconds away from regurgitating it all back up. You take a few deep breaths to steady yourself, and place your hand on the panels covering what you know is a stained glass window underneath.

You have no idea if this is going to work. You know this is at least an eighth level spell, and you have no way of knowing what can or can’t work with you. You’ve used different schools so far—alteration, divination, necromantic—so there’s no real way to know for sure.

Nevertheless, you close your eyes, try your best to develop a mental image of the front porch you’re standing on, and take one last deep breath.

On the exhale, you whisper something low enough that you know that no one else could've possibly heard you.

Immediately, the wooden panel under your hand splits, and you can hear the bushes around the porch rustle. You can hear the three kids calling after you behind you, mostly panicked. When you pull you hand away from the door and look at your palm, there’s a small gash where the splintered wood cut the skin open.

You ball your hand into a fist and wipe the blood from your nose before turning around. You toss the empty bottle into the bushes and ignore Lucas and Erica in favour of walking up to Max.

“Remember what I said at the lake,” you say, sternly, clenching your jaw against the headache pounding behind your eyes. “You’re not responsible for this. It’s not your job to fix this alone.”

“Yeah,” Max breathe, nodding shortly.

You bite your lips and nod once before running back up and in to the RV. Steve speeds off before the door even shuts behind you, and Eddie is right there, grabbing you by the shoulders with a force that startles.

“What the hell was that?”

“Contingency,” you say quietly, slowly reaching up to pull his hands off your shoulders. “I don’t have to think about or do everything, but I can at least give myself a plan B.”

“And what’s your plan B, exactly?” You hear Robin ask. You turn your head to look over your shoulder at Nancy before looking back up at Eddie. You let him reach up to swipe a thumb over your upper lip.

“Evac.”

“Okay,” Nancy starts, pushing herself away from the front seats to look back at the rest of you. “I wanna run through it one more time. Phase one.”

“We meet Erica at the playground,” Robin says, voice calm and low. “She’ll signal Max and Lucas when we’re ready.”

“Phase two.”

“Max baits Vecna,”Steve says, hands on his hips. “He’ll go after her, which’ll put him in his trance.”

Nancy nods. “Phase three?”

“Me and Eddie draw the bats away.”

“And if anything goes wrong?” Nancy prompts, and you raise your hand from behind Eddie.

“I plane shift them back, we take the bikes and meet up with Erica.”

“Four.”

“We head into Vecna’s hopefully newly bat-free lair and… flambé.” Robin says, holding up one of the Molotovs.

“Nobody moves onto the phase phase until we’ve all copied,” Nancy starts, before looking pointedly at you. “Nobody deviates from the plan, no matter what. Got it?”

You just nod while the rest voice their confirmation and swallow thickly. It’s obvious she knows you’ve got a plan no one else is involved in, and she seems adamant in letting you know not to resort to it.

And you can’t make promise like that. Not for this.

When everyone moves for their gear, after you’ve picked up your bag from the floor, you grab Eddie by the arm and hold him back.

“Hey, you trust me, right?” You ask, letting your hand slide down to his once he’s stopped to turn around to face you. He frowns but nods once.

“Yeah,” Eddie says, sounding unsure. “Yeah, of course. Why…”

You take a second to bite your lip. “Word of Recall,” you whisper, tightening your fingers around his hand. “That’s what I used. Just… just in case.”

“Hey, what’s the hold up?” Steve calls out, poking his head in through the door. “We’re on a time crunch here guys.”

“Yeah, sorry,” you apologize quickly, dropping Eddie’s hand and bolting before he can say anything. You pull your bag around to your front and rummage through the contents to grab a switch knife and tuck it into your right front pocket.

Inside the trailer, you move past the gate and head straight for the bathroom.

“Hey, I get that this is really stressful and we probably won’t be able to use the bathroom in a while but,” Robin starts, following you and pausing in the doorway.

Your hand is deep under the sink’s cabinet, reaching for the two cans of hairspray you know are tucked in there.

“Okay now I’m even more confused.”

While you stuff the cans into your bag, you pull out a zippo with your free hand.

“They hate fire,” you explain shortly, tugging harshly on the bag’s ties before getting up on the floor. “I know it’s not part of the Grand Plan or whatever but honestly I’d rather be safe.”

Robin just stands there and looks at you for a second before shrugging her shoulders. “Suit yourself, as long as you don’t blow yourself up.”

Thankfully, going through the gate doesn’t bring or induce anything awful this time. When Nancy and Robin pull you up to your feet after dropping in, you stand to the side just to listen. Your head stays blissfully free of any lich telepathy. You glance quickly over at Nancy, who’s grabbing the weapons Eddie’s throwing up through the gate, and can’t help but wonder.

You shake the thoughts out of your head and, once everyone and everything is through safely, you head out the door, behind Dustin. Eddie’s just put his hand at your lower back when Steve turns around.

“Hey, guys, listen” he calls out, making his way back over to the three of you. He points at you. “If things here start to go south—”

“Abort, take them back,” you finish for him, heaving your back higher up on your shoulder. “We’ve been through that, I know.”

“Right. Just, draw the attention of the bats, keep ‘em busy for a minute or two, and we’ll take care of Vecna. Don’t try to be cute, or, be a hero or something.” You notice how Steve seems to be looking more intently at Dustin, now. “You guys are just—”

“Decoys,” Dustin interrupts. “Don’t worry, you can be the hero, Steve.” You can’T help but snort.

‘Absolutely, I mean,” Eddie continues, and vaguely gestures at the three of you. “Look at us. We are not heroes.”

Steve looks pointedly at you again and you put your hands up.

“Hey, I’m not a hero either man, I’m just the party cleric.”

Steve looks entirely unconvinced, though that might just be the nerves showing. He nods, and moves to walk away, but Eddie takes a step forward and calls out to him. He looks back at Dustin, then over his other shoulder to you, before saying, “Make him pay.”

Red lightning strikes immediately followed by a clap of thunder. You flinch at the sound, immediately followed by yelp when you feel something at your elbow.

“Hey, sorry,” Dustin says, leaning away and putting his hand up. “You alright?”

“Yeah, sure,” you mutter, clearing your throat. “Come on,” you say a little louder, tapping Dustin’s arms and moving towards one of the other trailers. “Time to set up.”

While Eddie and Dustin go through the Munson trailer to get the amp, wires and his beloved Warlock, you busy yourself with getting the ladder. You prop it up against the side of the trailer as best you can so it won’t be too wobbly, and make your way onto the roof. You let your bag drop and give a few thumps with your feet. When you hear Dustin shouting, you smirk and move to grab the length of rope you’d stashed in your bag. You work to loop part of it around your waist and tie it as tightly as you can manage, sit just beyond the ladder, and toss the rest of the rope down.

The front door makes you jump when it slams open, and you sigh when you hear Dustin whooping.

“You ready for the most metal concert ever?!”

“I would’ve rather be at the Hideout to hear Eddie play for the first time but I guess this fuckin’ works,” you return, leaning back on your hands. “Hurry up losers, we’re wasting daylight.”

“Yeah, calm your tits, woman,” Eddie grumbles, hitching the amp higher in his arms. “Isn’t even any daylight in this place anyways.”

When they’re up next to the ladder, Dustin carefully ties the handle of the amp before making his way up the ladder. Slowly, the two of you pull the amp up along the ladder. You scoot back as much as you can while Dustin grabs the thing and heaves it up onto the roof. The larger amps nearly make you slide off the edge of the roof, but after the second one, the other two don’t feel as heavy.

“You’re good!” You call out to Eddie, quickly untying the rope from your waist. You’re about to just toss it to the side, but quickly ball it up and toss it back into your bag.

Eddie tosses the aux cords up first, then the spears. He goes back down to get the makeshift shield and, when he’s high enough up on the ladder, pulls the guitar from his back and passes it over into your waiting hands.

“You find the generator?” You ask, passing the guitar off the Dusting, who carey gingerly leans it up against the amp.

“Yeah, just gimme a minute to get it running,” Eddie says, strained, before letting himself slide back down the ladder. You cross you arms and worry at your lower lip while you start to pace.

“So,” Dustin starts, and when you look over at him he’s got his hands behind his back and is rocking back and forth on his feet. “How long have you and Eddie been a thing?”

Though you do your best impression of a blank stare, you feel your stomach drop and your heart leap into your throat.

“What?” He whines, easing his back and forth swaying and brings his arms in front of his to gesture at you. “Have you seen the two of you?”

“Bullshit,” you spit, leaning down to grab your bag. “He’s like that with everyone. Besides, I haven’t even seen him in like, three years. We barely know each other.”

“Uh huh,” Dustin nods, and you groan when he looks entirely unconvinced and very much like a little shit. “Look, I’m just saying! He doesn’t look at us that way!”

“Look at you in what way, dude? He looks at me with eyes and a face like a normal human.”

“He looks at you,” Dustin starts again, lowering his voice and walking up to you. “Like you’re a ghost he never thought he’d see again.”

You scoff and turn your head away. “Yeah well, he’s not wrong.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“It means we’re different, kid,” you say quietly, pulling out a hand to inspect your suddenly very interesting nails. “A lot has happened since ‘83. Maybe he’s the same, but I’m not.”

“No, you’re right.” And the shock of his agreement has you looking back at Dusting. “I mean, a lot has happened in three years, sure. And yeah, I mean look at you, you’ve got legit superpowers now.”

“And massive trauma from seeing people die all the time.”

“And massive trauma fr—wait. You saw people die?”

You turn away again and run a hand down your face.

“Yeah. Yeah I did. I saw Nancy’s friend get caught by a demogorgon. Some scientist at the lab. Bob, all the people that got turned into—into goop. Fucking, Billy.” You take in a stuttering breath. Somewhere not too far away you hear Eddie swearing before the sound of a generator starting drowns him out. “Any time someone died because of the Upside Down, I was there. I saw it.”

“Shit,” Dustin whispers.

“Yeah. Shit.”

The sound of the generator cuts out, and Eddie’s is audible again. You exhale sharply through your nose and turn back to face Dustin.

“Can you promise me something?”

“Uh,” Dustin takes a step back and frowns. “That depends entirely on what the promise is.”

You lick your lips and point at him. “No matter what happens, okay,” you start, pointing down at your bag. “And I don’t give a flying but about Wheeler’s plan. No matter what happens, once we get out of here, I need you to distract Eddie for me.”

“What, why would you—”

“I’m expecting an answer, Henderson, not an interrogation. Will you or won’t you?”

The frown stays on his face a second longer before realization takes over his features. Not a good kind of realization.

“When you were talking about evac,” he starts slowly, first turning to walk away before turning back to point at you. “You were talking about Max.”

“Dustin,” you warn, voice low.

“You were. You’re actually thinking about trying to be a hero.”

“I’m not! I’m just, this is stupid!”

“What’s stupid now?” Eddie calls from the ground, and no sooner you turn around to face the ladder does an extension cord come flying over the edge. You and Dustin both stand by and watch it slowly slide back over the edge. “Seriously guys, hello?”

Dustin moves first to kneel at and look over the edge. You huff and make yourself useful and start plugging up the amps and the guitar. Once Dustin manages to grab the extension cord—after several almost-hilarious failures—it’s a quick fix to get the amps plugged in.

You barely have a second to breathe before the walking crackles to life.

“She’s in, move on to phase three.”

“Fuck,” you mutter, turning to Eddie while Dustin confirms. “Remember, no funny business. THe bats show up, we go in, and we get the fuck out of here.”

“And if shit hits the fan, we’ve got you,” Eddie confirms, surprising you by pulling you to him with a hand behind your neck, and knocking your foreheads together. “Get ready to have your mind blown.”

You almost laugh and slowly take a few steps back when he lets you go. Dustin walks up next to you after turning the amps up as far as they’ll go, and nudges you with an elbow. You smack him upside the head with a scowl in return. Eddie whispers something you don’t quite catch when he rips the guitar pick from around his neck, and starts to play.

Your whispered ‘what the fuck’ is lost in the opening bars of Master of Puppets. Next to you, Dustin seems to appreciate Eddie’s performance, but you can’t help the slack-jawed, shocked look you know is on your face. That song came out barely three weeks ago.

Dustin smacks you in the arm, looking absolutely delighted while bobbing his head to the song. You frown and nod—yeah this is. For a once man show in hell surrounded by murderous everything, this really… this really isn’t that bad.

It’s not too long after, once Dustin’s taken a look through his binoculars, that the countdown starts. You throw your bag over your shoulder and run for the edge of the roof where you know a truck is parked and hop down. You can barely hear Dustin calling out for ten seconds by the time you’ve opened the door beyond the fence. You hear the clatter of the guitar against the roof and usher the two of them in through the fence. By the time you slam the door shut behind you and the three of you are in the trailer, you’re lightheaded from holding your breath.

Slumped against the door, you can help but chuckle when both Dustin and Eddie start jumping up and down like excited kids. Though you’re glad they’re capable of having a good time about this, you really wish adrenaline could have the same effect on you.

You really just feel like vomiting, and the sound of a swarm of shrieking bats outside isn’t making things any easier.

When you hear the tell-tale thump of bats landing on the roof, while Eddie and Dustin move to stand back to back just underneath the gate, you once again move past them to the bathroom. Reach under the sink, and pull… three? Alright, cool, three more cans of hairspray. You drop them onto the mattress when you walk back out, and grab the two from your bag to throw them down too. You pause from where you’re sitting on the mattress, looking up and Eddie and Dustin. Eddie shrugs, just as confused when the trailer goes silent.

“Hey dipshits!” Dustin screams, and you’re shocked at how guttural it sounds. “Give up that easy huh?!”

“Dude shut up!” You whisper harshly, fishing for the lighter in your jacket

“Is that really necessary?” Eddie asks, but before Dustin can say anything else there’s a thump on the roof,

And another. And the thumps are headed in… a specific direction?

Spray in one and and lighter in the other, you slowly follow Eddie and Dustin as they make their ways toward—

“Tell me that’s not a fucking vent,” you whisper, nudging Eddie.

“They can’t come in through there, can they?” Dustin asks. And you’re about to berate him for saying possibly the worst thing he could say in this situation when the plastic cover comes flying off.

You shove post Eddie and Dustin out of the way, flick your lighter and start spraying.

The fire and heat shock you, but clearly not more than it shocked the bat who stuck it’s stupid little head inside.

“Get out of the way!” Eddie shouts behind you, and though you back up a little, you keep the fire going until you realize what he’s.

Eddie hops on the chair he slides over, hops on and jams the shield right into the ceiling. When it’s been quiet for a second, you let out a breathy laugh.

“Would you look at that, the nails didn’t pop out.” You turn when the two high five each other, but frown and wave them down. “Wait hold up.”

“Are there any other vents?” Dustin asks, and Eddie doesn’t even say a word before he takes off for the other end of the trailer.

You stay stock still under the gate, fingers gripping the can and lighter with sore fingers. You give yourself a moment to close your eyes in resignation when you hear a swarm of bats burst in through Eddie’s bedroom.

“Come on!” You scream, motioning wildly at Dustin to get up and through the gate. “Get up there!” He swears the entire way to you, through the gate, and when he finally stands up on the other side, relatively safe and sound. You quickly grab your bag and scoop the hairspray back into it.

“Leave that shit here!” Eddie yells, spear and second shield aimed at the slowly splintering door. “Get up there!”

Tie the bag firmly shut and bring it to your front, pocket your lighter and jump up as high as you can to grip the rope. Just as unpleasant the third time around. You’re rolling off the mattress, clutching your bag for dear life and briefly wondering what the tipping point is for a glass bottle of soda to explode, when you notice Dustin’s shouting getting desperate.

You scramble to your feet and trip over the mattress. When you look up,Eddie’s barely made it halfway up.

And he’s just hanging there.

“Eddie, please,” Dustin pleads, and the look on Eddie’s face makes your blood run cold.

“Eddie,” you whine, grabbing the rope with one hand. “Edward Munson, I swear—”

“On your dad’s Elvis vinyl collection, I know,” he says quietly. But nevertheless, he lets himself drop back down and while Dustin is shrieking, Eddie.

Eddie cuts the god damn fucking rope.

“No,” you growl. “No, no no no, no that lying piece of fuckign shit. Dustin, stop,” you call out, walking over and pulling him away from the table.

“What are you talking about, Eddie’s—”

“Eddie’s lucky he has a fucking plane shifting friend is what he is!” You shout, shoving Dustin toward the trailer door. “Go meet up with Erica, and don’t get caught. I’ll get us both back in one piece.”

“But—”

“Go!”

You’re fuming. Absolutely raging. You let yourself pace for a second before closing your eyes.

Your stomach drops. Your breath gets caught.

And for a wonderful fraction of a second, there’s no sound.

And then it’s right back into the shrieking swarm of bats. And though you’re almost loathe to recognize it, you were right.

None of them come even close to touching you as the few stragglers left in the trailer fly out the door. You run out the door after them just in time to see Eddie pull a bike up off the ground.

“Eddie, you son of a bitch!” You scream, barrelling into him to knock you both down to the ground.

“What the fuck are you doing?!”

“Saving your stupid fucking idiotic traitor ass!” You shout back, awkwardly shimmying the bag off. “They can’t get me but they can get you, god, fuck, why did you do that,” you grind out between grit teeth, looming over Eddie with both hands braced on either side of his head to keep you up.

You feel the brush of sharp wings and serrated tails on your back as the bats swarm around you, until you don’t. A quick glance to either side of you confirms that the bats are, in fact, trying to get to Eddie by crawling on the ground. You don’t even have time to question why the hell they’re so intent on him.

Eddie shoves you off as gently as you figure someone can manage in this kind of situation, and immediately reaches into your bag to grab a can of hairspray. You lunge for the bag on the ground and dump everything. Pull the switchblade out and cut a few inches of rope and unravel it.

Pull out your lighter.

Flick it on. Carefully tie the rope around to keep the switch depressed and release.

Put the lighter down on the ground in front of you and reach for the hairspray.

Tie the rest of the rope down the length of the can to make sure the nozzle keeps spraying.

When you put it next to the lighter, it’s close enough to catch fire.

You stumble back up on your feet and snatch the bottle of soda. By the time you have your free on Eddie’s shoulder to pull him back, he’s got the bats flying back up in the air, a column of fire keeping most of them away.

“Count down to one for me,” you say, popping open the bottle of soda with your teeth. There’s a quick shot of pain before you take another swig, and you know you’ve chipped a tooth. “From five!”

“What the hell am I counting down to?” Eddie asks over his shoulder at you.

“Do you trust me or not?”

You can see Eddie twisting his tongue.

“Five.”

You close your eyes and take another swig of the soda.

“Four.”

Dry bushes, rotten wood, covered stained glass.

“Three, and this better be good cause I’m running out!”

You take a deep breath and think about derelict manors..

“Two!”

“Cut the fire.”

“What?!”

“You were supposed to say one,” you whisper. “Ravenloft.”

𝓣𝓪𝓰𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽

@storiesbyrhi @anothermunsonsimp @doratheignora @alovesongshewrote

#eddie munson #reader #stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fic #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fanfic #ravenloft #im shaking at this point i swear #im 100% convinced this is garbage #and i'm not even fishing here im just fucking insecure lmao #glitch #glitch warning #gif warning

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