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shurisneakers · 4 years ago

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harmless (v)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader, drabble series)

Warnings: cursing, ghosts, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, rats

Word count: 2.3k

A/N: why did i like this chapter sm someone explain. anyway!! y’all are so passionate about these two i love it mwah

if you have any ideas for future inventions/evil plans, lemme know! i might actually end up using them

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Series Masterlist

He dislikes the subway.

Other than his other valid reason to have disdain for trains, the subway is dark, it’s shady and he’s sure he’s seen rodents fight to the death here on several occasions.

Still, he’s following you down the stairs of the station, watching as you whistle along to the song blasting through your headphones. There’s a backpack swung over your shoulders, hands stuffed into the pocket of your hoodie and converse doing a skip every now and then. There’s a bandana that’s tied across your face, acting as a mask to hide your identity.

He realises that you’re dressed like a commuter. Were you going to dress the part every single time?

You walk along with the crowd. He follows, a few feet away.

Until you stop. He abruptly stops too, leading someone to walk right into him.

“Watch it, dumbass,” they hiss with the courage of someone who has no idea who he is. He ignores them.

He looks on as you dig around your backpack and pull out a roll of paper. A poster, he realises soon when you peel off a layer from the back and press it to the wall.

Was it legal to put up posters in the subway? He wasn’t quite sure.

He observes as you turn around and continue down the path. He waits a few seconds before trailing up to the poster.

Volunteers needed!

If you’re interested in being turned into a ghost for a couple of hours, this is your chance! Should be okay with being on camera so that we can make money off of taped paranormal sightings.

Paid opportunity. You get to pick your outfit. Randos don’t apply.

He yanks the poster of the wall before continuing down the same place you did.

He finds another poster along the way. He doesn’t hesitate in pulling it down. You were advocating to kill people.

He knows he’s going in the right direction because more posters creep up along the wall.

The both of you are on the platform by now but to him, something changes about the placement of the posters. They were growing in frequency, the distance between them decreasing as they were situated close to each other.

He pauses in front of the next one, hand hovering over the paper.

All it reads is ‘STOP’.

He furrows his eyebrow, pulling it down before peering over at the next one.

‘TAKING’, is all that it says.

It doesn’t take him very long to make his way through all the posters in the hallway.

‘THESE’

‘DOWN’

The train’s arrived by now but a quick scan over the crowd and he knows that you haven’t entered. That, and he knew that you were too dramatic to leave without a trace or a small conversation with him.

‘DICKHEAD’

Tasteful, he thinks.

“It took effort to make them, stop ruining it,” you whine from the end of the hallway. It’s empty, given that rush hour was over a while ago.

Even though the mask covers half your face, it’s obvious that there is mischief etched under it. The twinkle in your eye is telling.

“You’re literally killing people.” He holds up the poster. Not the ‘dickhead’ one. He pockets that for later.

He knows there are a few minutes before the next train arrives and more people flood the station. The eccentricity of today lay in the lighting from the incandescent lamps and acoustics of the platform. It made his voice echo like a movie scene.

“I very much am not,” you huff.

“You’re turning them into ghosts. That’s what a murderer does,” he says pointedly.

“Well, only if you keep saying it like that. You’re making me look bad.” You cross your arms across your chest. “What are you, Fox News?”

A scurry next to him earns his attention. Two rats nibble at a piece of fallen food. He wonders when they’ll starting brawling.

“Explain this.” He waves the poster around. He isn’t taking it too lightly he hopes. If it’s actual murder then it’s going to be an issue.

You pull out a black cylinder, slightly bigger than a pen. He can’t really see any more details, but you hold onto it like a wand.

“I’m turning them into ghosts. I’ll post videos of them doing stupid shit. I get famous and then boom, cash money.” You rub your index finger and thumb together. “I’ll give you a share if you volunteer.”

“You’re not explaining the death part.”

He can feel it. You’re about to start derailing.

“Winter Soldier, the ghost story. Literally.” You grin, yanking down the mask from your face to prove it. It pools around your neck. “That’s so funny, c’mon, it’d be amazing.”

It’s been years since he’s heard that. Never in this context.

“No,” he says sternly, “and I’m going to have to bring you in if you’re going to kill people.”

The rats were ignoring everything that was going down like the hardened criminals that they were. They had probably seen worse. He can’t stop paying attention to them.

“I’m not killing them, bro.” You raise your hands in exclamation. “I’m just moving some molecules around, some frequency shit. They’re alive, just ghosts.”

He’s always been one for science. Straight As throughout high school, attended science conventions as a hobby, alive even at 100 through some mad experimentation, definitely seen some weird shit during his lifetime.

But this doesn’t make sense.

“No,” he repeats. “Give me the thing.”

“Fine, I’ll show you.” You roll your eyes. “Since you have absolutely no faith in me.”

He does a quick review of his surroundings.

No one’s around, which is good.

But that just leaves him in front of you, which is bad.

“Don’t you even thin-” he starts, muscles tensing as he shifts into a defensive stance.

You whip out the little pen thing from beside you but before he can react you turn around and duck.

The click of a button releases a bright light, small but intensely stronger than the fluorescents in the station.

He reels back, feet carrying him away from where you’re crouched. His eyes quickly look down at his body.

Nothing’s changed.

He lifts his hand to check, runs it over his face. Still alive. He thinks.

“Behold,” you declare, “Ghost rat.”

He looks to where you’re pointing. The two rats from earlier were still nibbling on their food but something was off about them.

He could see the faint outline of the tiles on the wall behind them, almost like they were... translucent.

You aimed at the rats, not him. He doesn’t know whether to feel relieved or annoyed at the fake threat.

He watches as they move. They don’t look hurt or injured.

“Cool, huh?” you say smugly.

He can’t stop staring at them.

“Bring them back.”

“They’re fine, look how abstract it is.”

“Bring back the rats.” He can’t believe this is what his life has come to.

Bucky Barnes, Rodent Protector.

You aren’t fazed by his indifference, instead wonder filled eyes gaze at the animals. “Astral mice, sarge. Embrace the miracle of modern science.”

“You killed them.”

“They’re alive, they’re just ghosts.” You raise a finger to point. “Look, they’re still eating. Biological functions are still taking place.”

Which was true. But still. He doesn’t know what is going on.

“Bring them back to... non-ghost alive.”

“You sure you don’t want one? That one kinda looks like you.” One hardened glare after you realise the answer. “Jeez, alright then.”

You dig through your bag before pulling out a matte black replica of your current invention.

“Sexy colours, right?” You hold them up. “I modelled them after your arm.”

He looks down. Sure enough the gold and black matched his cybernetic limb. It was oddly flattering.

“Say thank you, Y/N, for letting me be your muse-”

“Un-ghost the rats.”

“Ungrateful,” you narrow your eyes at him.

Still, you comply with his demands, ducking down to their level again.

A click of the button, a bright light and the rats are back to normal. Non-transparent normal.

“Okay, give me that.” He takes a step towards you.

“Nuh uh.” You pull your arm back. His mouth twitches at your response; what are you, five?

The black one is stuffed back into your bag but you wave around the gold like a threat.

He sighs, making a pass for it. In a second his arm is twisted and shoved against his back, forcing him to spin so that he’s facing away from you. His eyes widen.

What the fuck?

“Now we’re having a good time,” you whisper into this ear.

He swiftly turns around, grabbing your wrist to rotate his own out of your grip.

“Since when can you fight?” he asks.

“Are we getting to know each other now?” You raise your leg to give him a semi gentle kick in the side, using his momentary distraction in blocking it to give him a knock on the head with your free hand. “This is so romantic, sarge.”

There’s a low rumble in the distance and he knows the train would soon start pulling into the station. It was still a distance away, but his heightened senses warned him that it wouldn’t take much time.

He groans. How much longer would he have to go at this?

He could easily win this fight and he knew it. But something in him itched, pulled him back from doing it.

He blocks another attempt at his head. “Stop that.”

You grin. “You know what’d be fun?”

He knows you’d reply even if he didn’t encourage it. The lights from the train light up the tunnel around the corner.

“This.” You don’t give him a second to recover before you flick your wrist away from him.

The device flies out of your hand and right onto the track. The both of you watch, you in glee, he in horror, as the train runs right over it, unleashing the brightest light he had ever seen. His eyes shut instinctively before it blinds him.

He forces himself to pry open his eyelids, look at the damage caused.

The train, sure enough, is translucent. He can see the posters on the other side of the platform through the carriage, through various people holding onto the poles for support or seated on the seats.

“Ghost train!” you cheer. He’s mortified.

“Fuck no,” he mumbles, yanking the backpack off your shoulder. He rummages through it, looking for the gold version.

“You lookin’ for this?” you ask nonchalantly, holding it up in your hand like it isn’t the solution to stopping a bunch of ghosts from wandering around New York.

“Turn them back.” He gives you a chance.

“Do it yourself, coward.” You grin, holding it above your head. The train is going to stop and he needs everyone to be alive and non-ghost before they leave.

He doesn’t wait this time, instead turning to you. The thing is still held in your grip above your head. He rolls his eyes, doing a quick assessment before grabbing your free hand, tugging you closer and plucking the device out of your hand before you have the opportunity to retract it.

“Great, now figure out which button to press.” You’re dangerously close to him. He can feel your hoodie brush against his tactical jacket. “Also if you wanted to be all pressed up against me, you could have just asked.”

He furrows his eyebrows, letting go of you as you give a loud laugh. He looks down at the device. It has several buttons, littering up and down the side. Each look the same.

The train’s slowing down.

“They’re both the same device; this version is not a magical solution to the other one. If you press the wrong button then both of us are going to be fucked.”

The last carriage is getting closer.

“Say I win this round and I’ll fix it.”

There’s a gleam in your eye. He knew this was exactly what you wanted.

He wishes he was as stubborn as Steve, just run through each button until the right one worked.

“You win this one.” He hands it back. He wasn’t like Steve and judging by the number of items the idiot jumped out of planes without a parachute on a daily basis, Bucky was glad about it. At least Bucky did it sporadically.

“Yay, two each for the both of us, then,” you say, taking it from him and twisting, eyes running down the sides. “Close your eyes, old man, or else your cataract’s gonna get worse.”

Right as the train pulls to a stop, you press down on the button before throwing it and the blinding light that emanates from it. It lands on the top of the train right as the doors open.

The passengers start stepping out. Some of them are looking at their hands and legs in a little disbelief, most just push through the crowd to leave.

He can’t see through them. It’s a good sign.

He turns to look at you but you’re not there. Instead, the weight of the small device weighs down in his pocket.

The sound of a thud on glass draws his attention.

He looks up at the train. The window of the carriage in front of him has a bit of fog on it. You trace a heart in the condensation and blow him a kiss before pulling your mask back on.

The train starts moving, leaving him alone in the platform again with your invention.

He lets out an exhale, wandering outside to grab a sandwich before waiting to catch the next train to go home.

Later in the evening, he catches hold of a bit of tape and the ‘Dickhead’ poster finds a place on Sam’s door.

He doesn’t appreciate it.

So now it’s tucked away in the shelf of Bucky’s bedside table along with a freeze ray, a ghost-inator, and some discount Pym Particles.

Next part

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #mcu fic #bucky fic #bucky barnes fic #bucky fluff #bucky barnes fluff #bucky angst #bucky barnes angst #harmless fic #winter soldier x reader #Winter Soldier #bucky barnes #bucky

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x0401x · 4 years ago

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Violet Evergarden Movie Summary

The initial plan was to make this a short bullet-point thing, but I felt like there was too much to clarify and I had no choice but use novel references to explain certain parts, so I decided to just write a normal summary. Many thanks before-hand to my friend Yuuki, who gave me all this info.

Apologies for taking relatively long with this thing. Not even I expected that I would end up writing this much. Buckle up for the ride, ‘cause it won’t be fun.

Nope, not kidding. It really won’t.

First thing I need to make clear is: this movie is one and a half hour long and divided into three parts and two different timelines: the times when Violet existed and the times after she dies. Already in the beginning of the movie, Violet is dead.

Yes, you read this right. She’s dead.

Now, I don’t mean that she’s dead in the literal sense. This is 60 years in the future. She might be alive or not, but it’s never said. However, the timeline of 60 years later is considered an era without Violet, apparently because she has retired and her “legend” is over, so to say. It’s also a time where Auto-Memories Dolls don’t exist. That’s one good punch in the face. Let’s keep counting.

The movie is sort of like a tale being read by someone else, which at some point goes into Violet’s first-person POV. The whole thing is kind of a look back on Violet’s life tragectory and how it took a new turn when she decided to continue looking for Gil despite all the mess of the TV series.

The era where Violet exists is an era where telephones are being introduced to the people, so Auto-Memories Dolls are starting to become unnecessary. I would argue that the creation of the telephone isn’t enough for an entire occupation to start disappearing so quickly, since new inventions are normally extremely expensive and not everyone has access to them (or even knows about their existence) so immediately after their conception. Realistically speaking, ghostwriters would still be important as long as there were still so many people unable to buy phones. Not to mention that this is a steampunk world where compulsory education doesn’t seem to be a thing yet, so even in the off chance that everybody can buy a phone, there would still be a lot of people who can’t read or write on their own. But all of this clearly went over the animators’ heads, so not only ghostwriters but also the mail business in general are nearing their doom in the movie.

The one looking back on Violet’s life was Ann, who was telling it all to her granddaughter, Daisy (who, by the way, is voiced by Morohoshi Sumire, the same girl who voiced the seven-year-old Ann). Ann had kept all the letters that Violet ghostwrote for her mother, as well as the newspapers about the CH Postal Company. Looks like the article was printed after Violet left CH, since she isn’t in the picture with everyone else.

In this era, CH’s main office has been turned into a museum. Nerine is shown working in it. Of course, she’s a grandma by then. Speaking of the CH personnel, Erica also quit being an Auto-Memories Doll and became a playwright like Oscar. She appears in the newspaper, though, so she probably a while left after Violet did. Taylor also appears there.

Back to Daisy, she was writing a letter to her parents, in order to learn how to properly convey feelings with written word. The message of this scene seems to be that, no matter the tools, what’s important is that we convey our feelings to the people we love.

As we see in the trailer, Gil’s mom has passed and Violet runs into Dietfried when visiting her grave on the anniversary of her death. To anyone who is wondering: yeah, Gil never went to see his mother and she died thinking that he was dead.

Nobody knew that Gil was alive. Not his mother, not Dietfried, not the Evergardens and not even Hodgins. No one.

Here’s what happened to Gil in the anime: he survived the incident at Intense, of course, but got separated from Violet in that explosion. His tag miraculously stayed on the same spot, though, as we saw in the TV series. Now, since this isn’t explained in the anime at all, I have to make it clear: the tag is that necklace the soldiers wear. It contains their names and ranks, so that their bodies can be identified even when they’re irrecognizable. Without the tag, the people who rescued Gil had no idea who he was, so he was sent to a different place to get treated. He ended up at a monastery hospital instead of the one in Enchaîné. I would debate that his uniform alone is enough to identify him as someone from the Leidenschaftlich Army, or maybe they could’ve just asked him which troop he belonged to after he woke up and relocated him to where his fellow men were, but who even cares about all these plot holes anymore? Definitely not me.

Anyway. After Gil was discharged, he ran the fuck away. Like, literally.

If anyone out there was hoping that Gil would finally have his moment to shine as the self-sacrificing, thoughtful and ridiculously kindhearted character that he is in the novel, I have bad news for you. What we had here was even worse than it being Gil’s excuse movie. It’s like the whole thing was made to drag his character so deep through the mud that he’ll never be able to get up again. There’s pretty much nothing in this one and a half hour that actually justifies what he did to Violet. I’ll elaborate on this as we go on.

Anime!Gil became a nomad and went traveling. He offed his ass to the island where that lighthouse displayed in the most recent official art is located (that’s why Gil and Violet were at the beach on the movie poster). He doesn’t have a prosthetic in the anime because, apparently, he was more worried about disappearing as fast as possible to somewhere he would never be found, and never attempted to contact anybody. So nobody knew that he was alive, hence the grave, which, as we feared, was not a fake one. His family really did think he had died.

This is a point that I have already addressed before, but that also means Gil really did abandon Violet to luck. If anything dangerous ever happened to her (as it did, and it was always very obviously likely to happen, since she was the southern army’s most outstanding soldier and quite literally fled from the military), he wouldn’t even know. If word ever got to him, it would probably be too late. And even if it weren’t, he wouldn’t be able to do anything to help her. More than allowing her to live freely, it felt like he was running away from his responsibilities regarding Violet.

Punch on the face count is currently at six.

By sheer coincidence, Violet learns that Gil is living in that island. She goes to see him and Hodgins goes with her after trying to stop her at first. When Gil finds out that they came to see him, he outright refuses to meet them. It pretty much takes the near entirety of the goddamn movie for them to see each other face-to-face. I say face-to-face because all of the following shit happens:

Hodgins goes to talk to Gil. It lasts about 20 minutes.

Gil talks to Violet from behind a door. This one is about 10 minutes.

Dietfried also comes to the island to talk to him. Also about 10 minutes.

At long fucking last, Gil goes to see Violet. But that, too, is only for about 10 minutes.

Hodgins gives him a speech very similar to what happens in chapter 8. Now get ready to fall back from your seats: Dietfried basically goes there to tell Gil that he won’t run away from taking over the family anymore, so Gil can live freely. Yes, Dietfried is officially a better Gilbert than Gilbert himself. I crave death.

So, after much ado, they come to a conclusion: Gil will stay in the island. In order to completely free himself of the shackles of his bloodline, he stays behind, living the way he wants to. ‘Cause all anime!Gil wants is to rot away alone by the sea, apparently. Now prepare yourselves, for it gets worse. Ready?

Violet stays with him in the motherfucking island.

That’s right, ladies and gents. Another fear became true. She quits her job at the CH Postal Company and goes to live with him. Well, at least, not as a housewife. She starts working with mail services in the island, and Gil helps her with it. Her life goes on like this and she dies in the island as well.

This is where the timeline after Violet passes away comes into light, parallel to the era when Violet was alive. Daisy talks about what happened after Violet left CH, as if it were a tale from the distant past.

That’s it.

The movie paints this as a happy ending. I can hardly see it as one. I know it almost looks like everything was solved, but it just got swept under the rug.

The main point that makes me sad in this ending is that Violet’s character development did a 360 degree flip. In the end, she threw everything to the air and went to live in someone who she always put before everyone else, even herself, but who didn’t do the same for her (in the anime). She’s gone to a crammed little island, where she led an uneventful life away from everyone and everything that’s ever had a positive impact on her. All she has is Gil.

Of course, he’s all she needs, but he isn’t all she should have, and that was the entire point of pushing her to go live on her own. Which is exactly what she earns in the novel: two loving parents, a father figure, a brother figure, a best friend and several other friends and acquaintances whom she formed a bond with. She has all she needs, so she doesn’t have to cling to Gil for any reason. There’s no emotional dependance on him anymore. She doesn’t need him to be whole. She just wants him because he happens to be the best person she’s ever met.

Anime!Violet is most definitely not whole. She almost got there, but then she backtracked completely. And anime!Gil... in my friend’s words, is a weakling. There’s nothing in him actually worth all this undying blind love. Sure, he’s full of regret and shit, but it’s too easy to only act upon it now, by vanishing into thin air like a coward.

The deal with novel!Gil is that he looks around at everything he has, everything that had been burdening him and killing him on the inside all his life, and decides to make use of it for Violet’s sake. He continues being family head and working in the army, amassing money and connections in order to have every means possible to protect Violet should anything happen to her. And as it turns out, he does end up having to use those means, more than once, but he will keep this up for as long as he needs to, because he lives for her now. That’s what makes him worth all the blood, sweat, tears, mental sanity and even body parts that she gave away for his sake: he pays it back. Every cent.

Punch in the face count ends at twelve. Thirteen if I include the fact that the movie ends with a last shot of Violet after she and Gilbert do a pinky swear. Looks like they were really trying to buy everyone with tears.

Oh, well.

I hope this has been a good enough summary. Sorry if I rained on anyone’s parade. I’m pretty sure we won’t get a remake ever, so I really wish we all can get over this soon.

#violet evergarden #fyeahvioletevergarden #kyoani #kyoto animation #violet evergarden movie #summary #gilbert bougainvillea #claudia hodgins #dietfried bougainvillea

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pigspeetsandhooflikefeets · 4 years ago

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Because I hate myself, I decided to go to the effort of compiling as much lore as I could extract from the hosts (exclusively from The Ride since it’s way more linear) because a lot of it was cool and I didn’t assume there would be so much.

Under the cut is over 101 facts (yet it’s undeniably incomplete, I know there’s more) about the hosts presented in the game, all organized chronologically, cited with each episode they come from (yes when I say hosts I mean all of them, got some Buzz lore for the Buzz stans).

This took me over a week to make. God forgive me.

Cookie:

Enjoys drinking, however considering he gets drunk to the point of vomiting off 1-2 drinks, he might be a bit of a lightweight [or it’s just exceptionally strong beer] (Language)

Has a level of infatuation for Jean-Claude Van Damme, to the point the others are concerned [if anyone actually has voice clips from this sequence I really want to hear it] (Censorship)

He is lactose intolerant, but does not consider soy milk a justifiable alternative (Dairy)

Has a sense of hostility towards Old McDonald, of all people (Dairy)

Cookie cheats at Battleship (War)

Hates turtles some reason [fuck you] (War)

Cookie wishes he had four arms. Mainly to “hold stuff”, as he puts it (American Politics)

Doesn’t/didn’t know what the coccyx is (Parents)

Responds very positively to the prospect of drag, giving a more than excited “oh yeah!” when explaining drag to the players, possibly into it [however he sees it slightly differently on the Censorship floor if you pick an incorrect answer pertaining to drag] (Fetishes)

Used to love Hi-C as a kid (Fetishes)

None of his behavior [which is enhanced the poorer you do, including, but not limited to, getting more than upset with the player for choosing an answer that sounded like talking back] in the Fetishes floor felt faked [in fact, him making a more submissive comment in Crime sounded uncharacteristically faked], this man is a fuckin sadist [sexually!] (Fetishes)

No hesitation to hit on the ungendered [yet most likely at the time, male] player[s] [how bisexual of you Cookie] (Fetishes)

Has breasts due to taking estrogen [in the form of Loestrin] (Pharmacy)

Terrorized his hometown neighborhood with a hose [strangely endearing] (Pharmacy)

Favourite instrument is the calliope, stating it is impossible to stay mad when it plays (Circus)

While being a hardass like all the other hosts, Cookie takes the concept of the players seeing him as only a computer program personally heartbreaking (Food)

Has had sex in the woods, which he was caught doing (Food)

Had a crush on Lois Lane, Daphne from Scooby Doo, and Jessica Rabbit. He seems to have shame for the latter (Crime)

He has/d multiple Heather Locklear posters hanging in his bedroom. He later refers to her as his “future wife” (First Things)

Related to the Heather posters, Cookie also had a Leif Eriksson poster in his junior high locker [at this point I think Cookie really likes posters] (First Things)

Considering changing his name from “Cookie” to “Ø” [hehe. Cøøkie] (First Things)

Not a fan of goths [he’ll come around] (Death, requires multiple specific responses to trigger)

Frequently forgets how to pronounce the word “scythe” (Death)

Wants dodgeball to be an Olympic sport (Gym Class)

Guy:

Miserably hates Gibberish Questions (Gibberish Question, random)

Has never fully read a book, however he received good grades in English class (Shakespeare)

Exceptionally defensive of the movie It’s A Wonderful Life (Office Supplies)

Absolutely obsessed with Bette Nesmith Graham, the inventor of liquid paper (Office Supplies, requires multiple specific responses to trigger)

Talks to his pens, which “talk” back to him (Office Supplies)

Guy recalls people calling him “parsimonious”, meaning he is stingy [how often this should come up, I don’t know] (Urban Life)

Walks with a slight limp due to sexual assault in prison [GUY!??!?] (Deprivation)

Thinks the Pillsbury Dough Boy is cute, like, REALLY cute (Crusty Things)

Shows signs of being a bacillophobe, stating that people should wear hairnets, as well as tissue boxes on their feet, which he adds “like me” [weirdly enough, he isn’t threatened at all in Plagues] (Hair)

However in the very next question Guy mentions knowing what platform shoes feel like, so how often he wears said tissue boxes is debatable. Also he mentions having worn a push-up bra before [wait isn’t Cookie into crossdressing-] (Hair)

Dated a “dancer” [likely of the exotic variety due to him at first pronouncing a “s” in reference to her occupation] named “Maria Bouncer” (Journalism)

Sexually stimulated by Tony Gwynn [specifically his batting average but I don’t think it’s exclusive to it] (Sex)

Genuinely thinks Blue Öyster Cult is a country band [it isn’t] (Rural America)

Owns and wears a muumuu [wait isn’t Cookie still into-] (Rural America)

Likes trees a lot, to the point of hating George Washington over it (Wood)

Likes Shamrock Shakes to an… unhealthy degree (Skin)

As much as a jerk he is, like the other hosts, he is good about keeping his promises, and will feed you dessert if you get a correct answer (Skin, requires multiple specific responses to trigger)

Guy is good at the game Quarters, and is not playful about forcing you to drink for messing up (Lawyers)

Seems to be on neutral ground with Schmitty, as he had the ability to sick the trap door on Schmitty, but chose to simply push him out the door/yell at him (Lawyers)

Does not disapprove of cannibalism (Hollywood more directly, but freely jokes about it in Skin as well)

Hates movies that require reading subtitles (Hollywood)

While as much a sexual deviant as the other hosts, Guy is not into one-sided deviancy, and gets upset at the concept of the players being too good at sexual questions outside of the Sex level (Hollywood, requires multiple specific responses to trigger)

A select group of people call him “Roberta”. Guy establishes that he doesn’t want to talk about it (Hollywood)

Shamefully addicted to Pringles (Plague)

One of the random incorrect answer responses involves Guy yelling for an intern to bring him a gun. That paired with Guy mentioning having a genuine mental breakdown over a milkshake (Skin) makes it feel like Guy has suicidal urges that should be looked at.

While not really a fact, it’s genuinely cute that one of the floors you visit with Guy hosting is the same floor that Cookie sent him to in the beginning of the game. However, Guy never points this out, so Guy has bad memory (Hollywood)

Schmitty:

Likes Guy enough to bother him while Guy is working, possibly genuinely wanting to tell him jokes (Lawyers)

Refers to money as his best friends (any level, unique to hitting $3653)

His address is 3311 something (any level, unique to hitting $3311)

Schmitty has expensive taste in underwear (any level, random when you hit a value <$1000)

Schmitty states that the only enjoyment he gets out of his miserable life is watching people screw each other over. Schmitty needs therapy (any level, response to handing out screws)

Enjoys breaking other people’s [namely Old Man] Lego sets [the bastard] (Plastic)

Unwillingly admits he stared too much at the prosthetic in Boogie Nights, as well as being disappointed it didn’t look realistic [very gay, Josh] (Plastic)

Willingly admits to have masturbated to the thoughts of C. Everett Koop [Josh this is worse than the last one] (Health & Fitness)

Schmitty really likes clowns and thinks they’re cute (Cold War)

He refers to the glowing bugs Lampyridae as the colloquial term “lightning bugs” rather than the more popularized “fireflies”. In America, that typically means he is from, or grew up around people from the Midwest/South [which is obviously supported by Jackbox Games existing in Chicago] (Mother Nature)

Hates pinball, loves video games [seriously how old is Josh] (Suburbia/Malls)

He is a existentialist (Suburbia/Malls)

As a child, he wore headgear. He puts it on the record that he was mocked for it (Suburbia/Malls)

Alludes to having recently had outpatient surgery [surgery that does not require an overnight hospital stay] due to his diet lacking adequate fiber (Technology)

Hates emoticons with a passion [considering Quips are just advanced emoticons, I really hope he came around on this one] (Technology)

Schmitty owns a pet rat. He also records how much it urinates (Branson, Mo.)

Schmitty writes poetry, but he lacks the confidence to share it with others (Literature)

He doesn’t like Bennigan’s, but not because of the food, but because they sing (Literature)

The “redrum” line makes him irrationally angry (Literature)

He tends to prefer foreign films [inverse to Guy] because they tend to have nudity in them (Old People)

Schmitty has partaken in Gerbilling [for your sake, if you don’t understand, don’t look it up] (Great Hoaxes)

Believes aliens wrote Shakespeare (Great Hoaxes)

Believes all diseases are created by the government. Schmitty is anti- vax (Great Hoaxes)

Schmitty has a “dressing room” that’s made up of a janitor’s closet. Despite it all, he takes it personally that you don’t spy on him while he’s getting changed [this is actually supported in prior games where he doesn’t care that he doesn’t wear pants in the studio despite complaints] (Things You Can’t See)

He is a big fan of “Naked Eyes”, and misses them (Things You Can’t See)

Schmitty really needs a water filter (Switzerland)

Well-done charred burgers are the main reason that Schmitty is not vegetarian (Switzerland)

Has beef with the comic strip Cathy, for being redundant and not funny (Switzerland, requires multiple specific responses to trigger)

His use of “first wife” rather than “ex-wife” suggests he has at least 2 past marriages (Marriage)

Schmitty says that his parents had a large amount of rough patches in their relationship where one was struggling and the other was apathetic. However, in other games it’s confirmed that Old Man is his dad, but Schmitty never knew. Either Schmitty had a step-dad, Schmitty’s parental issues were retconned, or Schmitty’s a goddamn liar (Marriage)

Nate:

Has a level of respect for Guy, considering he asks why Guy allowed them to make him read them, as the both of them almost equally despise Gibberish Questions (Gibberish Question, random)

States he’s single, but mostly because he has very expensive tastes and doesn’t sleep around with just anybody [ok Nate] (Gibberish Question, Easter egg)

Every person he has ever dated was named “Rick” or “Ricky”/”Ricki” [which, as we know, is a gender neutral name, but Nate never defends that fact] (Gibberish Question, Easter Egg)

Nate is at least one year out of college, as well as confirming that he has a degree, but never specifies what his major was (Gibberish Question, Easter egg)

Nate is currently dating a woman [we must assume her name is Ricki] that will call the player disgusting for swearing. (Gibberish Question, triggered by inputting a non-easter egg swear; random)

While not directly stated, Nate inadvertently implies a sense of inferiority for being “small” to which he lashes out in defense over it (Torture)

Nate plays and writes keyboard music (Music)

Considers himself an “art person”, as well as that no one really appreciating or understanding it [broody much huh] (Music)

Nate casually admits to committing musical piracy [good for him] (Music)

Takes Simon Says far too seriously [my thigh actually hurts, Nate please say I can stop now] (Games)

Considering that Nate was the one who sent Schmitty to The Bottom, the fact Nate is surprised that Buzz mentions all four of them being down there suggests either Nate has bad memory, or he expected more from them (Games)

While just about as rude as the others, Nate is a lot better at diffusing situations, saying he’d visit the four at The Bottom after a while, giving compromise to Buzz for being treated unfairly, and complimenting Helen before the game ended (Hot Stuff). Though considering it’s Nate, it’s most likely dismissing flattery to get people off his ass (Games)

Genuinely embarrassed by his feet and toenail fungus [which he is taking pills for] (Beauty)

Not sure how to word this, but Nate is surprisingly chill [for the time the game was made] about drag queens and the concept of women having penises, adding “so what?” when an intern was surprised Madame Butterfly had one [unlike Schmitty cough cough] (Beauty)

While not offering his actual religion, Nate implies he is not Christian (BC)

Nate loves the band Rush, regardless of what the others say (BC)

No matter if you choose “dehydrate” or “drink your own pee”, Nate will suggest he drinks urine. He even implies it’s something he enjoys, saying “it’s not drinking-your-own-pee-fun” or “you will never know what you’re missing” depending if you pick positively or negatively (Water)

Nate’s favourite expression is “you can’t get blood from a turnip”. He also says he doesn’t understand it, regardless of how much he uses it (Water)

He loves putting chocolate sauce on things. Of course, not necessarily things meant to have chocolate sauce on them (Water)

Idolizes ABBA, as well as having gone on tour with them as a “roadie” [to the chagrin of Björn and Benny] (Music)

Fan of, but not to the point of idolizing, Zamfir [who hates him], who appears as the answer for two different episodes, for essentially the same exact question about him (Music, Torture)

Has been to many tailors, and he describes them as being very handsy around his “inseam” [which is the length from the crotch to the ankle] which he takes as flattery (Fashion)

Has stuck a pool cue into one of his orifices, but doesn’t elaborate which (Bad Habits)

Very defensive over the stupid things he says [whether they are jokes or not] yelling “IT’S SILENT, YOU IDIOT” when an intern informed Nate “wrong” was not spelled “cwrong” [he later explains he’s joking but he did get far too offended to not note] (Bad Habits)

Nate objects to the concept of not being allowed to eat “toy rabbits” [I actually have no idea what that means, so I choose to believe he gnaws on stuffed animals to stim, and we leave it at that] (Bad Habits)

Nate buys Viagra for $10 a pill [I calculated inflation, that’s $16.38 of 2021 money] and he’s embarrassed about it (Bad Habits)

The only host to consider that the player character might be female, calling the players both “the little bad boy” and “you little bad girl” (Bad Habits)

Likes his meat well done (Meat)

Staunchly refuses to eat iguana, but is open to trying terrapin and ostrich (Meat)

Thinks Sam Donaldson is sexy [every host has at least one weird crush I swear] (Meat)

Loves bologna (Meat)

Needs to clean out his refrigerator (Hot Stuff)

Arguably the least productive of all the main 4 hosts, only having hosted ten episodes [compared to the others having 16], allowing Buzz to guest host a question (Games), having Brian Chard lead a Jack Attack (BC), and Schmitty accidentally filling in for him during a Jack Attack due to an error within the game (Games)

Buzz:

Schmitty calls him “kiddo”, suggesting that either Schmitty is an asshole [a known fact] or Buzz is the youngest [or shortest- I know how men act] of the five hosts [which would surprise no one] (Games)

According to Buzz in Vol. 2, the only thing written on his birth certificate is “Buzz”, however in this game the guest host card with his name on it says “Buzz Lippman” [where did that last name come from? Did he get married between the two years and he took his partner’s name because he wanted to have one for once? Good for him] (Games)

Very good at math, being able to divide numbers by 12 and 69 accurately to the decimal in his head (Games)

Doesn’t actually hate Cookie as much as people think he does, as he turns to Cookie to ask for help when hosting his question. Cookie however doesn’t supply it. (Games)

Either he is the only host who had Nate’s number on hand to call him, or Buzz is the only host with enough brain cells to think of calling one of the hosts to complain about where he was [Cookie was down there for ¾ of the game, what’s his excuse?] (Games)

#jackbox #jackbox games #ydkj #surprisingly only a few bits contradict each other #like Schmity says in one ep he hates singing yet sings in others so I excluded it #I omitted general trivia and almost all of their female crushes because it felt impersonal #jackbox lore is better when it makes you pause the ep and go ???#sorry to your dash if you open this on accident #jacketybox mumbles

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quicksilversquared · 4 years ago

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The Wavering Peahen: Chapter 5

When Nathalie started feeling oddly ill again, both she and Gabriel were worried that the Peacock Miraculous might somehow (impossibly) be to blame again.

So naturally, they pick someone else to be the Peacock for a bit. You know, as a test subject. Except the new Peacock… doesn’t exactly know that.

links in the reblog

"Oh my god, you guys, you'll never guess what my mom did for me!" Lila announced as she arrived at the picnic just a little bit on the late side and, other than her phone and a hastily-made Thermos of tea, completely empty-handed. If anyone asked, she would just claim that she had meant to make something, but she had overslept and not been able to start early enough to pull off what she had intended. "It was so sweet of her!"

Heads turned her way, and several of the other girls stepped closer like they were being drawn by a string. Rose was the first to speak up.

"What did she do, Lila?"

"She brought my old phone to a specialist so they could recover some of my old photos off of it- it got destroyed during one of my mission trips to South America and I lost all sorts of data!" Lila practically wilted at the 'memory'. "Thankfully my contacts were backed up in the cloud, but I lost all of my photos! All of those memories, gone! I thought that there was no way to get them back!"

Rose gasped in excitement. "But she got them recovered! That's so great!"

"Some were lost for good- most of them, actually. But I got some back and now they're on my phone and on the cloud, just in case." Lila glanced around. "I don't know if- would anyone like to see them, maybe?"

Rose nodded at once, practically teleporting to Lila's side in her eagerness to see. Alya wasn't far behind, and then Mylène and Nino came behind her. Lila beamed, pulling out her phone and swiping to open up her photos. She had stuck in some landscape photos that she had snagged online to mix it up so that not all of her photos were shots of her and famous people, but obviously the celeb shots were the star of the show.

"Oh, that's Prince Ali!" Rose said happily, half-hanging over Lila's arm to see the phone screen better. "You two definitely look close!"

"Yes, well, we've worked with each other several times," Lila told her. "So of course we're close! I took this picture maybe a year and a half ago? I was at his castle for two weeks while discussing all of the different types of charity work we were doing and ideas for going forward. It was lovely there, really. The beds were so comfortable, and the food was amazing!"

There was a chorus of 'that's so cool!'s and 'you're so lucky!'s. Lila beamed, happy with the attention, and dove into her prepared story, tying in a few of the few of stories that she had told before. More of their classmates gathered around, trying to get a glimpse of her phone. Lila held it up to show the photos off as she went, ever-thoughtful. One story turned into two, then ten, then a dozen as she flipped through the photos. It was a lot- normally she just did one story at a time, peppering them in where they were relevant- but she had been too sick to come up with many stories recently and of course the photos provided a perfect opportunity do a bit of talking.

(Maybe it was a bit too much talking, considering that she was still recovering from her illness and her throat was already sore and she was still feeling a bit faint every so often, but she was on a roll and needed to press her advantage while she had it. These photos were gold, and she needed to milk them for all they were worth.)

"Oh, those shots of you and Ladybug are great!" Alya exclaimed once Lila swiped to the first of the Ladybug pictures. Even though it was just a Ladybug look-alike, Lila had found herself gritting her teeth as she forced herself to cozy up to the sentimonster's side. She hadn't given in to the urge to punch the sentimonster in the face, just as a bit of stress relief, but that had less to do with being nice and more to do with her being worried that she was going to lose control of the sentimonster and have it turn on her. "Those must have been pretty recent, right? Were they on your old phone, too?"

"Ah- no, those were just from yesterday afternoon," Lila fibbed quickly, trying not to cringe. She probably should have held off of putting the Ladybug pictures on her phone- those would always be relevant, she could show them off some other time if she ever hit a lull in attention- but it was too late for that now. Maybe she could get a couple more posters and do another sentimonster session before Hawkmoth took the Miraculous back so that she would have more photo evidence in the future. "She was out on a run and saw me when I was on a walk to try to brainstorm ideas to help the global anti-pollution initiative with Prince Ali. Since we're friends, she decided to drop down and say hi! It was so nice of her."

"She must have been keeping a low profile," Alya commented, leaning in closer. "I didn't get any reports of superhero spottings yesterday, but I know they've been out before without people noticing! Did she help come up with any ideas?"

"No, she wanted to get going again before she got noticed and mobbed," Lila told her. "Which is understandable! She said she would think it over and get back to me if she came up with anything."

Alya nodded. "Yeah, that makes sense. I'm sure she'll come up with something, though! Considering how creative she is with Lucky Charms, I bet that she'll think up something cool."

Lila tried not to let her smile get too strained as she faked her enthusiasm. "Yeah! I mean, if it's anything too out there, it might be hard to get people on board, but some out of the box ideas might just be what the world needs!"

"Would you mind sharing those photos on the Ladyblog?" Alya asked eagerly. "I always love adding good pictures of the superheroes, and those are fantastic."

Trying not to smile too obviously, Lila nodded. "Of course! That's fine." Honestly, the more people who saw it, the better. That way, if Ladybug decided to be a brat again and tried to call Lila out, it would be far easier for Lila to claim that they had had a falling out and Ladybug was being an asshole about it and for that to actually be believed. "I'll send the photos to you right away, actually, before I forget."

Alya grinned, whipping out her phone eagerly. "Great! Lemme just- ah, I should probably think of an actual article or something to go along with the photos, huh? Uh- maybe something about how Ladybug isn't just saving the world from evil, but also from pollution? Obviously I'd say that you're the one doing most of the pollution work," she added hastily to Lila. "Or two superheroines- one saving the world from supervillains, the other saving the world from pollution? I like that better! And then I'll just mention the crossover, her helping you come up with ideas and you helping her behind the scenes with akuma attacks sometimes!"

Lila nodded, attaching the photos to an email and sending it off to Alya. "That sounds good! And if you want any more details, just ask!"

"I will, trust me!"

Ten minutes later, Lila's audience started getting restless, clearly done with story time. She wrapped up quickly, claiming that she didn't want to take up everyone's time and monopolize the attention and promising to show off the remainder of the photos at school. Some people stuck around to ask a few questions, but others wandered off. Lila wasn't bothered. After all, the stories would get around eventually.

Eventually, Lila got to step away to peruse the picnic table. She didn't pick anything up since she still wasn't feeling 100% after her earlier dizzy spell, and getting nauseous and barfing would bring her a sort of attention that she didn't want, but it was a nice break from remembering all of her stories and playing her part.

The food spread looked pretty good- though Lila wrinkled her nose at an array of baked goods that had clearly come from Marinette's family's bakery- and she made a note of a few things that she wanted to try later, when she felt better. With one more glance around, Lila stepped away from the table and back towards the rest of her classmates. As she did, she nearly bumped into Marinette. The other girl's eyes narrowed at her but she didn't say anything, opting to simply walk past Lila instead.

Well. That wouldn't do.

"You missed out on seeing my pictures earlier," Lila said, raising her voice just enough that Marinette wouldn't be able to miss it. "Which is a pity, really. There were some really nice ones that my mom recovered off of my old phone. If you wanted, I could still show you a couple."

Marinette snorted. "So you've taken up Photoshop as a hobby, I take it?" she asked dryly. "And I think I'll pass on looking at the photos. If I wanted to see something that wasn't real, I'd go watch an action hero movie. That would at least be enjoyable."

Lila sniffed. "You're just so certain that they're doctored. Do you know how jealous that makes you sound? It's not a very attractive look on you at all."

"Puh-leeze. There was a photo of me and Jagged Stone on the cover of Metal Lord not even a year ago, and I've got actual selfies of me and Clara Nightingale on my phone from when she was doing her music video. I don't need Photoshop." Marinette rolled her eyes, stepping further away from Lila. "Some of us actually have the connections that you pretend to have. If anyone is jealous, it's you."

With that, she turned and left, heading across the park to join Alya and Nino and Adrien. Alya was still hunched over her phone- no doubt hastily getting a rough draft of her article done- but the others were just chatting and relaxing. The fact that Adrien was still clearly on Marinette's side was really annoying, but soon enough he wouldn't be. Not once Lila took some video of the senti-Marinette being a brat. Because it would take video to persuade him, she knew that. Photos wouldn't be enough, not when he was already suspicious of her. She would probably have to wait a week or so to actually show anyone the video, space things out to make them more believable-

Lila's breath caught in her throat as another dizzy spell washed over her. All of a sudden, she wasn't so positive that it was a good idea to come out today. She had just been recovering from a decently long sickness, and then she got up super early and had been pushing herself all day. Yeah, it had been nice to show off her photos right away, but maybe it would have been smarter to wait until Monday. Lila could have ridden out her dizzy spells at home, both the major ones and the smaller ones that had been plaguing her while she showed off her photos.

...maybe she could just sit down and she would be fine?

"Lila! Over here!" Rose called, almost as though she was reading Lila's mind. She waved and patted the bench next to her. "Max was about to start telling us about the changes he made to his game!"

Lila nearly groaned at the thought. Listening to Max meant listening to stats and graphics and coding nonsense that she really couldn't care less about. She avoided it when she could. But it also meant that she wouldn't have to talk, and if she tuned out and missed something and got asked about it, she could just claim that she had gotten lost on all of the technical details.

So really, it was practically perfect.

"What kinds of changes?" Lila asked, walking over and sitting on the fee bit of bench. "New villains?"

Max nodded, pushing his glasses back up on his nose. "That is some of it, yes. Having an ever-expanding cast of characters keeps it interesting and a challenge for those who have already played a lot and know how to defeat their opponents. There were some complaints that there were then too many rounds between the start and the boss villain, so I now have an option for people to select the number of akumas that they want to battle and which akumas they get is randomized. I also have added difficulty levels, for those wanting to deviate from the standard game. After examining the akuma stats, I have identified some that are more or less challenging than average and so the non-normal difficulty selections have a more limited pool of opponents to choose from. I also added Mayura to the game. I considered putting in Pavona, too, but..."

"She could be the boss villain for easy mode," Rose suggested. "Since she's not as good of a fighter as Hawkmoth!"

Max considered that, nodding absently. "Yes, I could see that. I have different coding for different fight levels already, so I could use the one I developed for the lowest akumas."

"The lowest akumas?" Lila asked, incredulous. "She- surely she's better than the lowest akumas, right? When she was out, she wasn't exactly just getting tossed to the side."

There was a long pause. Lila blinked, looking around.

Surely everyone could admit that Pavona wasn't completely useless on the battlefield, right? They had eyes, even if they were ridiculously biased towards the superheroes. There had been times when Pavona had been more than holding her own.

(Well. Times when she hadn't been failing spectacularly, at least, and mostly because the heroes were outnumbered, but she was choosing to ignore that.)

"I mean, I guess she's a better fighter than that giant baby," Alix offered after a long moment. "Not that that's hard, exactly. But as far as game context goes, it doesn't really make sense for the final boss to be as easy or easier than the akumas that came before it."

Max nodded, jotting that down. "That's a good point! I might make her a slight bit more of a threat than she actually is in real life, just for the game's sake. Though she does have the sentimonster thing going for her- maybe I can keep her fight level the same, but just have a couple different sentimonsters that she'll get paired with. That'll be the bit making the boss battle harder."

"That was a good point about how Pavona shouldn't be easier than the akumas in the game, Lila!" Rose chirped, beaming at her. "That'll definitely help improve the game!"

"Yeah, no problem," Lila managed, hoping that she didn't sound like she was talking through gritted teeth. She steadied herself against the table as her vision blurred out again for a moment, her mind going dizzy with it. "I'm always happy to help!"

"I think the problem that I'm facing then is coding so that Pavona and the sentimonster work together," Max said, tapping his pencil against the spine of his notebook. "And the same for the challenge mode, I think. It would have Hawkmoth and Mayura as the final boss, and they would work together. For that, some of the later levels could have randomized akuma-sentimonster pairings!"

"Ooh, good idea!"

"Nice!"

Lila tuned out as the conversation wandered off into more details of the game, improvements that could be made to the akuma powers to make them more flexible and not so fixed. Max eventually wandered off into a discussion- or a monologue, really, even while checked out Lila couldn't help but note that no one else was contributing much anything to the discussion- about coding specifics, and Lila tried not to sigh.

Boring. Boring, boring, boring.

Even after sitting and relaxing for nearly half an hour, Lila still had absolutely no appetite. In fact, the mere thought of eating much anything was making her feel a bit ill, which was a bit concerning.

And yet she found herself staring down at a full plate of food in her lap.

To her own credit, she had tried to get out of eating anything, claiming that she had woken up late and eaten breakfast late and therefore didn't have an appetite, and besides her mom hadn't remembered to buy the things she needed to make something to bring and she would feel bad about taking food when she hadn't brought any. But her classmates had insisted that it was fine, that no one blamed her for not being able to bring anything, and that really, couldn't she eat just a little? So Lila had been pretty much forced to relent and load up her plate.

Maybe she could have let on that she had a bit of lingering nausea from her illness, but she had (for once) not wanted any more attention on her. She had been completely in charge of the narrative earlier, keeping the focus and gossip on what she wanted her classmates to pay attention to, and having the talk about her turn from her celebrity connections to her mysterious illness would be not exactly ideal. An illness could push the focus on her proof to the backs of their minds, easily forgotten about given some time, and she was not about to let a little cold do that.

Lila was made of stronger stuff than that, she knew she was. After all, she was a supervillain. Things weren't going to be easy.

But it was still frustrating that the challenge was coming from something as everyday as a stupid cold.

(She should have just left it at I ate breakfast late and so I'm not very hungry and then maybe she could have gotten away with just taking a little fruit and nothing else. The comment about not having brought anything, in retrospect, made the breakfast thing sound like a flimsy excuse for not eating.)

Hopefully she would feel better again soon. It was just so stupid that she had been feeling so great, and then all of a sudden, she was feeling worse than she had before. Sure, she had been able to milk her cold for all it was worth as far as homework went, but much longer and the teachers wouldn't turn a blind eye to that anymore. And sure, she had gotten out of actually doing anything in gym while she was sick, but she could do that just as easily with a claim that her arthritis was acting up or that she had rolled her ankle the previous day.

(There was also the issue of what she could possibly do if someone brought concerns to their teachers and they insisted on calling Lila's mom. She couldn't let that happen, or else all of her hard work would be for nothing.

Maybe she could spread the lie that her mom was already on top of it and taking her in to the doctor's office for a checkup. If the teachers knew that Mrs. Rossi was already aware of Lila's health problem, then perhaps they would be less inclined to reach out as well.)

"Aren't you hungry, Lila?" Rose asked anxiously, and Lila startled out of her thoughts. She had been staring at her plate without eating anything for too long, clearly. "You've just been pushing your food around and not eating anything."

"Ah, well, I did have a late breakfast," Lila managed, doing her best to make her excuses sound confident, even as another wave of dizziness passed over her. Was it just her imagination, or were they getting more frequent? "I must have eaten more than I thought then, so I'm not very hungry yet. I- maybe I'll just set my plate away to eat later. I just couldn't resist taking some food, it all looked so good."

"Oh, okay," Rose agreed after a moment's pause. "It's too bad we don't have a heating lamp or something to keep the food warm and fresh for you! Some of it won't be as good cold."

Lila flashed her a smile. "Thanks for the concern, but I'm sure it will still be good! And if not- well, the next time we have a picnic, I'll be sure to wake up earlier or not eat as much breakfast."

"We'll have to do this again soon, then!"

Lila smiled and nodded. "That sounds fun! It'll be a good way to keep up with everyone over the summer- well, at least if I'm still in the country and not traveling. I don't know what my mom's plans are yet."

Everyone nodded, letting out little murmurs of understanding.

"Hopefully you'll get to go some cool places!" Mylène piped up. "I mean, I hope you'll be around for part of the summer so that you can go on all of the group activities like picnics and pool trips, but I know how important it is for you to get to travel and meet people who can help out with your charities and environmental work and everything!"

Lila forced another smile in the direction where- well, she could mostly see Mylène between the spots that had momentarily taken over her vision. She blinked, and her vision cleared. "Yeah, it would be nice to get to hang out and be a normal kid for a bit, but I also want to see some of my friends from other places in person again! I've been keeping in touch by email and video call, of course, but it's just not the same."

"The downside to traveling," Mylène agreed. "I've made friends while traveling before- average people, not princes and whatnot- but I never end up staying in touch with them for that long once I leave. Our emails just end up tapering off."

Several of the others nodded in agreement. Lila almost did, too- after all, she always let communications with her former classmates taper off and end after a few months after she had to move or switch schools- before she caught herself.

Right. No talking about her real life experiences, or else people would start picking up on the inconsistencies and the ways that Lila's real life didn't line up with the other stories that she had told.

The conversation slowly turned to the kinds of friendships other people had made while on vacation with their families and how long they kept communicating once they had left, and Lila tuned it out in favor of trying to force down a few bites of food. There were a couple things that weren't overly sweet or spicy that didn't make her stomach want to completely turn itself inside out, so Lila nibbled on them while she pretended to listen to her classmates blather on about completely non-impressive people who they had met.

"Lila, if you aren't hungry yet, you don't have to eat," Rose said suddenly, cutting herself off mid-sentence. She glanced over at the picnic table, then perked up. "Hey, the container I brought my salad in is empty! You could just put your food in that and bring it home to eat later if you wanted!"

"That's so kind of you, Rose!" Lila managed. Ugh, forcing herself to eat anything had clearly been a bad choice. She had thought that she would be able to handle a few bites, but she was feeling more nauseous than ever. She didn't want to let that on, though. She wouldn't. She couldn't distract from her own stories and photos by being ill. "That sounds like a great idea. I don't want the food I took to have to go to waste. I-" she cut herself off as her stomach rolled again.

Maybe talking right now wasn't the best idea.

"Let's go get it, then!" Rose chirped, popping up out of her seat. "And you can grab anything you want to eat later from the table, too, while we're doing that. I know no one's going to mind if you take stuff to go!"

Lila pushed herself to her feet to follow Rose, doing her best to act as though everything was normal as she swung her legs over the bench and started walking. Her vision had almost completely fuzzed out as soon as she got up, but she couldn't let that stop her. It would clear up soon enough, after all. It always had before.

She took one step, then another, then a third, forcing them even and casual. On the fourth, Lila felt herself wobble, suddenly both dizzy and weak.

And on the fifth step, everything went black.

#Miraculous Ladybug #My writing #The Wavering Peahen

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iworshipkeanureeves · 5 years ago

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Denim Dreams (Scott Favor x Reader)

A/N: This is My Own Private Idaho fanfiction requested by @jadore-keanu30, I also managed to slip in a small part about Scott being ticklish as requested by anon. And maybe let’s imagine this is AU where Mike is not in love with Scott.

Summary: Your friend Mike introduces you to Scott Favor, but you hate him at first. Scott, however, persistently tries to get your attention.

Warnings: language, smut

Words: 2,7 K

Woken by a doorbell, you rolled out of bed grunting. You were never a morning person, so it made you internally scream at whoever was behind that door. To your surprise, it was Mike, and even though you were sort of friends, he would rarely show up at your doorstep, especially this early.

“You can come in, my mom’s at work,” you invited Mike in, but he seemed hesitant to go.

“I thought we could get breakfast,” Mike suggested, leaning on your door frame.

“Are you asking me on a date?” you chuckled teasing him, when you knew this was never going to be the case.

“You’re not exactly my type,” he replied giving you an impish smile, and you rolled your eyes tying your hair up in a messy bun.

“Just give me a minute to change,” you said still wearing pajama and disappeared into your room, leaving him at a doorstep.

------

Mike and you were supportive of each other, but you weren’t particularly that kind of friends who would hang out together much, so all of this was a surprise.

“What’s the occasion?” you wondered as you and Mike were entering a diner.

“I wanted to thank you for saving my ass yesterday,” he replied, with his eyes stuck to the ground, as usual.

In fact, you had saved Mike’s ass many times before. Working at a movie theater, you would help him hide in one of the auditoria, usually from his clients and sometimes from the cops too. You had an understanding of what Mike was doing to get by. Yet, you two had an agreement that he wouldn’t involve you in his business further than that.

After much consideration, you decided to get a burger, which wasn’t a typical breakfast food, but you had a strong craving and it was already after 11 AM, so technically it could have been almost considered lunch. Mike was silent as usual, munching on his waffles, occasionally lifting his eyes to stare into a quiet street, and you could never tell what he was thinking about.

Just as you were about to take a next bite, you sensed the seat next to you caving in. Suddenly, you were being accompanied by a tall dark haired guy. He and Mike exchanged “Hey”s, so you assumed he was probably one of Mike’s friends. You didn’t know him, and it felt weird how he sat next to you instead of Mike. Not that it made you uncomfortable, but you found it rude, especially because he was coarsely invading your private space.

“I’m Scott, I’m Mike’s…”

“I know who you are,” you cut him off, after hearing the name. You recognized him from Mike’s stories. “Mike has told me about you,” you added and went on with another bite of your heavenly delicious burger.

Even though Mike had spoken only favorably about Scott, from what you had heard, you couldn’t approve him. You didn’t like the fact that Scott was privileged with his trust funds and did what he did only for fun. You believed that he would leave Mike any day to get back to his prosperous life, and you knew how much it would hurt your friend. Therefore, Scott was your enemy, even if you hadn’t met him before.

“She’s Y/N,” Mike mumbled, after a long silent pause around the table, and you choked a little looking up to give him a discontent glance.

“What a chatty girl,” Scott hissed ironically, raising his hand for a waitress to come.

“She’s just not an early bird, it’s too soon for her chirps,” Mike intervened, trying to cushion the conversation after seeing your face all frowned.

If Scott really wanted to talk, you decided to go at him.

“Don’t you feel like a fraud here?” you spoke calmly. “This life you’re living for the moment, isn’t it just one of your whims, until you choose to move on to something better?”

You already knew the real answer, you were just curious to see what Scott saw in all of this.

“So just because I’m going to inherit my family funds, it means I can’t live the life I honestly enjoy? Does it always have to be connected to money?”

His emphasis was on enjoyment, and you knew well, it was a brittle, fleeting thing. Yeah, even if this was the life he truly fancied, it was for a short moment only, and that moment was about to end meaning that someone would get hurt. Your dear Mike, most probably.

After finishing the last few sips of your drink, you gather you stuff and were about to put your jacket on.

“Leaving so soon?” Scott scoffed with his obnoxious exhale, and you could almost feel your blood beginning to boil.

“Work,” you looked at him with a painfully fake smile. “Some of us here”, you said pointing between you and Mike, “have to actually earn a living, we have no rich daddies to run to.”

You looked at Scott, implying he should really move, but he seemed to enjoy annoying you and wasn’t going to go anywhere. Playing his game, you decided to just climb over him, sticking your tight-fitted ass right in front of his face, wiggling it a little to tease him even more. Approaching the door, you turned around to give Mike one last goodbye, proudly witnessing Scott’s hand in a pocket, adjusting his emerging boner.

------

It was your usual day at work operating cash register, putting up a smile to everyone and kindly accepting their complaints about high prices and lack of interesting movies, as if it was personally your fault that this theater was kind of shitty.

Just as you thought it couldn’t get worse, it surely did.

What the hell, you thought, looking at Scott entering the movie theater, weirdly alone and still not losing that annoying smile of his.

“Hey there,” Scott spoke, leaning with his elbow on top of your desk. It left you speechless for a moment, as you were astonished by his audacity to come visit you at work. “Come get a drink with me,” he demanded.

“Don’t you see I’m working?” you couldn’t believe his oblivion. How self-centered could he possibly be?

“What about later?”

“Later? Oh yeah, still working,” you smiled mockingly. Scott seemed to be getting a little frustrated and there were no words to describe how much you enjoyed it.

“Fine, then one ticket to Bird on a Wire,” Scott requested, reaching for his wallet.

“Magic word?” you kept taunting him, squeezing every bit of his patience, though he seemed to be holding on surprisingly well.

“Please?” he grunted, slipping you a few bills.

“Rich boy with no manners, what could be worse?” you grinned, shaking your head, handing him the ticket.

Scott only cracked a smile. “See you around,” he said leaving your desk.

You really hoped this wouldn’t be the case, but oh boy, he was not wrong.

------

Scott came in the next week to see Back to the Future III, no stupid flirting this time. He directly asked for the ticket, and even added please, learning from his mistakes. Of course he was nice, it was probably his tactics to get you go out with him, but you knew better than that.

The problem was Scott’s persistence, as he kept on coming every night, and you would chat a little more each time. It was usually about Mike, but other things too. There was something frightening about letting him too close and you would have to remind yourself to keep a distance.

Every time you wanted to change the topic, you could turn to movies, because at some point Scott had probably seen more of those than you had. He saw Total Recall, Dick Tracy, Robocop 2, Days of Thunder, Die Hard 2, well, basically everything the theater was screening for the moment.

Indeed everything.

It seemed like you were unintentionally seeing Scott more than you were seeing Mike, and it drove you crazy. You started asking around if he also came on nights when you weren’t working, hoping that maybe he had just discovered his passion for movies. But that wasn’t the case.

------

One night Scott showed up looking different. His hair was messy, jeans were tighter, and he had a denim jacket on. It was buttoned up, but you could see that he was wearing nothing underneath. You felt bad for finding this tempting, but you couldn’t help it. Anyway, you didn’t have to like Scott as a person to admit how sexy he actually was.

“Hey,” you greeted him. “I don’t think we have a movie that you haven’t seen yet,” you continued, getting rid of all the scorn that you used to have in your voice before. Honestly, you were tired of torturing him, and he genuinely seemed not that bad. At least better than you had expected him to be after the first day of meeting him at that diner.

“Well, then I’ll have to watch Die Hard again,” Scott giggled, suggesting that he didn’t mind it, he just enjoyed coming to the theater.

After handing Scott the ticket, you realized that there might be a day when he wouldn’t come anymore. Or even worse, he would bring someone with him, another girl maybe. You couldn’t believe your thoughts, and how upset it made you. It felt like you were betraying yourself, but there was nothing you could do.

Fuck. You were falling for him

------

It was getting late and the majority of tonight’s screenings had ended, you were washing your hands in the ladies room, thinking about what needed to be done before closing up for the day. You couldn’t believe it when you caught yourself looking in the mirror to adjust your make-up and a few stray hairs, thinking you might meet Scott again.

After all, this wasn’t a bad decision, because just as you were leaving the restroom, your eyes met Scott, who was inspecting movie posters in the empty hallway. He must have heard the door shut, because he immediately turned your way. Was he following you? Waiting for you? You couldn’t tell, but honestly, you didn’t care any longer. You mind was captured by his unbuttoned jacket, exposing his bare stomach, and a scar running along his abs line, leaving you powerless against him.

Coming closer to meet Scott, you felt yourself giving in. He had already put too much time into all this, for it to be just another of his games. Scott was being nice to you, so why push him away? It’s not like you were going to marry him and live happily ever after, but giving him a chance would be something. Something you might even enjoy.

Scott was inches away, glancing down into your eyes. His messy hair was casting shadow over his dark gaze, making you weak in your knees. After looking around, very timidly you ran your fingertips through his exposed scar, feeling his radiating skin. You wanted him so badly, you could feel the heat accumulating between your legs just thinking about it.

Felt like it was now or never, and you decided to go for it.

“Do you have a condom?” you whispered, glancing at him.

“What if I do?” Scott asked, trying to play cool, but you could see the surprise in his eyes.

“Then it’s your lucky day,” you giggled dragging him back to the ladies room, into one of the stalls.

“What if somebody catch us? Aren’t you going to lose your job?” Scott slowed down a little.

“I hate this job,” you smirked, closing the door and wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him closer into a kiss.

You were delicate at first, slowly tasting his fleshy lips, your hands wandering along his sides, slowly reaching inside the jacket, your fingertips brushing his satin skin. Just as you reached Scott’s ribs, you felt his muscles tense and he bounced back a little with a giggle leaving his mouth.

“What a sensitive boy,” you smirked, pulling him closer again, invading his mouth with your tongue this time, writing your name inside his throat. Scott’s palms were on your ass, squeezing it tightly, his bulge pressing on your stomach, throbbing in his tight jeans.

Scott was slowly lifting the hem of your skirt, his hands getting closer to your heat, fidgeting with your skin, and then you felt his fingertips tucked inside your panties, dragging them down. His fingers were navigating through your folds, finding your swollen clit, and rubbing circles on it, while he was passionately kissing your lips.

An unexpected moan left your mouth and Scott had to cover it firmly with his palm, giving you a displeased stare. Finding this funny, you naughtily took two of Scott’s fingers in your mouth, sucking on them, hollowing your cheeks and gazing into his dark lustful eyes, while his other hand was skillfully working your clit. You wanted to scream at how good it felt.

As you were unzipping Scott’s jeans, you felt two of his fingers smoothly sliding inside of your throbbing pussy, slowly stretching you before you take him.

“You’re tight, baby, I want to prepare you a little bit,” he whispered, but the time wasn’t on your side, knowing the theater would be closing soon.

“We have to be quick,” you moaned, dragging his jeans down, and pushing him onto the covered seat. Scott’s thick fingers fell out of you and he took them in his mouth, slowly licking your juices off, maintaining a sultry eye contact. The sight gave you shivers, and the pressure in your lower stomach was getting unbearable.

“So sweet,” he said licking his lips, and went into his pocket to grab a silver packet.

While Scott was giving himself a few strokes and sliding a condom on, you stepped out of your panties that had been left hanging between your ankles and straddled him. Feeling his tip brushing against your slit, you helped him line with your entrance and lowered yourself gradually. He was really big and you felt flames in your walls, but Scott was patiently waiting for you to adjust, his fingers softly brushing your hair.

Getting more comfortable, you started moving faster, taking him all in, feeling his length hitting you in the right spot. Scott’s hands were on your hips keeping your balance, and his lips were placing wet kisses all over your neck. Every thrust was audible with your skin slapping against each other and your wet pussy splashing every time he went all the way in.

Scott had noticed that your thighs were getting tired, so he stood up with you hanging around him, your legs wrapped across his waist. With your back set against the wall, Scott drove into you with force, you could feel and hear his balls slapping your ass and you felt your release coming.

“Scott, I’m close, please just don’t stop,” you whimpered, with incoherent cries leaving your throat, as you felt him pushing even harder. Your abdomen cramped and you came undone with moans that were probably too loud, but you couldn’t care less.

Scott was still jamming into you vigorously, grunting as he came hard, stalling inside of you, with his throbbing cock pulsating against your walls. He was panting, as he looked up to you and smiled, “You’re good?” he asked, catching his breath. But you only managed to nod eagerly, as he was letting your feet to the ground, pulling out of you slowly.

With remaining tingles in your belly, you put your panties on and carefully peeked out to see if it was safe to leave. Leading the way, you held Scott’s hand and asked him to wait outside the restroom until you fixed your hair and make up, again. You wanted to hate yourself for this, but instead of feeling guilt or regret, you could only feel ecstasy in your veins. This was too good to let go.

As you were leaving the restroom, Scott greeted you with a wide grin, taking you by the hand. “I know this isn’t the exact order of how relationships go, but how about that drink now?” he asked modestly.

“Fine, just let me drop my uniform,” you smiled, rising on your toes to give him a little kiss and disappeared into the staff room.

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nicodigiovanni · 5 years ago

Text

DOMENICO DI GIOVANNI ( CODY CHRISTIAN ) is a 17 year old JUNIOR student at Broadripple Academy. HE is originally from LOS ANGELES but moved to Broadripple A YEAR ago. HE is DRIVEN and RESOURCEFUL but can also be ENVIOUS and DECEITFUL.

BASICS

Name: Domenico Di Giovanni

Age: 17

Grade: Junior

House: Malleray

Cabin Room: 2, Junior Cabin

How long have they been at Broadripple: a bit more than a year

Where are they from originally: Los Angeles

Extra curricular: Soccer Team Captain, Swim Team member, Buddy Program

CHARACTER AESTHETICS

Untucked shirts and loose ties, worn sneakers, board shorts and athletic shirts, hair that are ‘fashionably’ messy, a fake rolex, sunglasses to hide bloodshot eyes, sundown on the ocean, an eagle as a coat of arm, a whisper in your ears, an old camera, handwriting that looks a lot more like hieroglyphs than actual English, the sweet exhaustion after intense training, an adrenaline rush, the roar of a Ducati, the tension of sneaking out at night, a golden cross necklace, a swiss-army knife as a keychain, a bonfire on the beach, a room that looks like a tornado has just been there, a tangle of athletic medals, a stack of movie posters, a zippo lighter because, come on everyone knows they are cool.

TRAITS

Positive Personality Traits: ambitious, driven, resourceful, playful, friendly, brave, loyal to his friends, passionate, open minded,

Neutral Personality Traits: competitive, nostalgic, emotional, stubborn, guarded, prideful, materialistic

Negative Personality Traits: envious, jealous, deceitful, selfish, vulnerable to peer pressure, reckless, boastful

FACTS

Domenico is the firstborn scion of an impoverished Italo-american family, he actually has some noble blood in his veins and is proud of his ancestry. His family migrated to the states after WW2 and had actually enjoyed a luxurious existence for a few generations, when Nico himself was a little kid they still had money, but a string of misfortune and bad business deals had left them with little

His parents are obsessed with the idea of social status and have drilled its importance into him, to the point that Domenico dedicates his life in its pursuit. No matter the cost, personal or otherwise.

Failure is not an option.

He grew up with the expectation of royalty and the wealth of a lower middle class kid

He has always lived on the periphery of wealth though, frequently doing odd jobs from rich family friends and looking for afar at the glamorous life of movie stars and socialites in his native Los Angeles. Craving for the ability to join him himself. Unable to see that hanging around with the friends he actually had made him way happier. In fact he has a lot of fond memories of the time spent back home, but pretends to himself that he had moved on and doesn’t care anymore.

He had pushed himself hard during high school to get an athletic scholarship and finally earned his ticket to Broadripple. The young man is legacy, but his family could definitely no longer afford to send him there.

While Domenico is extremely loyal to his friends, he has a very ‘the end justifies the means’ mentality, he plays dirty when he believes that his strength alone is not enough to ‘win’ and lies to get what he wants or just to make himself look more ‘important’ in the eyes of others.

He loves the spotlight and does what he can to get noticed. After his first year at Broadripple he had started to take up more responsibility at the school, mostly to increase his own standing

He is always on the lookout for college recruiters and will definitely use whatever trick he can in the books to up his chances of being selected

He constantly puts up a show of confidence.

He is passionate, he falls in love very quickly, but he is also pretty jealous and his pride tends to get in the way of things

He craves for true companionship, but so far he had been too blinded by his desire to ‘climb’ up.

Truth is, the pressure of his lifestyle is starting to get to him, but Nico is pretty good at lying to himself and is pretending that ‘everything is fine’ even as he keeps daydreaming about just dropping everything and go follow his passions

HEADCANONS

He has two younger siblings, Alessandra, a spirited 11 years old, that is very much loved by her big brother and Gabriele, who is only eight years old. Despite considering the latter annoying, he actually misses both of them. He dreads when his little sis will start dating

He is a huge horror movie buff and dreams to direct one eventually, but of course, his life has a more ‘serious’ path ahead so…

He loves the ocean and is very nostalgic about his home in California.

He is a bit of an adrenaline junkie, but he tries to stay focused

He actually enjoys playing sports and if he wasn’t as focused on his endgame he would much likely derive much more pleasure from them

He had sneaked out at the pool during the night for a swim more than once

He is pretty handy, had done a lot of odd jobs in his life and knows among other things how to pick a lock.

He is very boastful and is prone to hugely exaggerate his skills and wealth.

His best subject is history, math is meh…

He worships his Ducati and constantly tinkers with it, the motorbike is a birthday present from a family friend that greatly helped Nico while he was in LA. The two had spent the year before Nico went to Broadripple fixing it and it has an huge sentimental value to him. Nico doesn’t drive after drinking mostly out of fear of ruining it (rather than himself) in case of an accident. He had brought it straight from California driving halfway through the states and he would do it again

He has a family signet ring, but pretty much never wears it in public

He own a lot of expensive looking stuff that are actually knock off

He wears his shirts religiously ‘half-tucked’

He enjoys playing board games (but deem them too nerdy) and is a very competitive player

He is proud of his legacy status

He isn’t proud of being a scholarship student and keeps that detail for himself

He deals MJ among the students to boost his income, but himself he doesn’t smoke frequently

Domenico is fully bilingual English\Italian and he swears (and thinks) in his family native language despite never having been in Italy himself

He has a small youtube channel where he comments the Italian soccer championship and other soccer trivia, he is not however a regular poster of content and keeps it mostly as an hobby (and an extra space to advertise himself to potential recruiters)

He isn’t bad in the kitchen and can make a few Italian dishes

Espresso for life (and made in the ‘right way’) the rest isn’t real coffee.

Sport = religion. To skip training is sin.

He jogs very early every morning

A previous roommate of his has left the school last year, Nico kinda believe that he had scared him off

He loves the Rolling Stones (coincidentally his dad is more of a Beatles type)

He dreams about taking a sabbatical and making a road trip after graduation

Has ran from home a couple of times as a kid.

While he keeps it very well buried, Domenico has a bit of a playful, goofy side that emerges when he feels like he is free to be himself

He is also a bit of a prankster

QUESTIONS ABOUT THE RETREAT

What do they think about The Retreat?

“This is supposed to be an exclusive and expensive academy right?” Turns to check if no one else is listening and then lowers his voice. “On the other side… thanks God right? At least they haven’t sent us back home…”

Domenico doesn’t care about the retreat per-se, but he is worried that all the strange events might tarnish the school reputation, putting his own college future in jeopardy, or worse, ending up shutting down the Academy as he doesn’t exactly have many alternatives. He does miss a bit of privacy though and the lack of wi-fi frustrates him. While outwardly he pretends that he cares about the lack of amenities, it’s more of a show.

Do they have any previous experience with camping or other outdoors?

“Of course I do.”

Domenico is outdoorsy, but has never gone camping in his life, plus he is accustomed to a much warmer climate than Massachusetts and while he does his best to soldier through it, the experience definitely sucks. While he has no idea about how to build a tent or anything on the like at least he knows how to light a fire and can make a decent grilled meat if the need arises.

What does their cabin bunk look like? How will they decorate their space?

“It’s not my room and let’s leave it at that.”

Domenico’s dorm room was adorned with movie posters (mostly horror B-movies), some of them hiding pictures underneath that a catholic school might not exactly approve (but that strike the fancy of a seventeen years old boy), piled up trophies, a small basketball hoop, random sport gear and clothes scattered here and there. He couldn’t bring much to his bunk and had packed most of his things in cardboard boxes to pick up for later. He keeps a picture of his siblings cheering at his birthday before he left for Broadripple and one with his former high-school team celebrating after a match.

Do they believe in the supernatural? To what degree?

“Nah... That’s all crap. It makes for a good movie though.”

Nico is fascinated by the supernatural, but he is not a believer, they are cool stories though and he likes the dash of adrenaline of a well told tale of horror. Besides, Broadripple might be a good subject for a movie right? In theory Domenico is Catholic and was kinda of observant as a kid, by now though, religion isn’t in his mind.

Are they easily spooked?

“Nop. Ehi what is that noise?”

Domenico likes to think of himself as brave and tends to worry about more mundane problems rather than supernatural or existential one. That said, sometimes the aerie atmosphere of the Academy actually gets to him and strikes the darkest corners of his imagination. Showing fear though, is embarrassing and Domenico keeps the feeling for himself, doing his best to crack a joke or put up a mask of courage.

AND FINALLY,

A very dumb but (hopefully) fun quiz made by your admins, please share what result you got

you're the real danger

everyone talks about what they hear and see out in the woods but what about what's in the room with them? if everyone already thinks they're hearing things, it wouldn't be that hard to cover everything up

I must admit that I cheated a bit to get there, but Nico would definitely have done that himself, so I’m not ashamed to admit it. Besides, it’s kinda fitting of him :p

#retreat:task1 #retreat.intro #WhoIsNicoDiGiovanni?

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #275

i’m anxious and my head is hectic so i can’t think of a single song lyric to put here lmao

Have you ever dated anybody online? Yes, but we met up in person for a week+ at a time multiple times. Ever been stalked? No. Ever stalked someone? No. I never got to that point with him because shit’s creepy. Have you ever been called a slut, hoe, skank, whore? Only playfully by close friends because that’s how we show affection sometimes lmao. Have you ever snuck out before? No. Do you eat meat? I wish I didn’t, but I do. If so, do you like meat? Yes. If not, do you have anything against people who eat meat? N/A Have you ever gotten a manicure or pedicure? I went with my old friend and sisters on rare occasions just to hang out. Have you ever been close to getting kidnapped? Jc no, thank fuck. HAVE you ever been kidnapped? No. I’d be so goddamn terrified. Do you listen to Lykke Li? Never heard of ‘em. Have you ever self-harmed? Yes. Do you have any eating disorders? No. Have you ever met a celebrity? No. Do you like Monster Energy or do you prefer other energy drinks? Astonishingly with how much I love soda, I am nooot an energy drink fan. They taste like straight-up poison. Describe the best day of your life? I don’t really know what that would be. About how many times a week do you skip class or just school in general? When I was in school, I’d fake sick as a kid rarely, then in high school I had quite a few mental health days. College, too. Have you ever been suspended from school? No. Have you ever been expelled? No. Do you role-play? Only on designated forums and in serious stories. I need substance behind it. Irl, sexual, and pretty much any other RP doesn’t interest me. Do you watch Degrassi? I never did, no. What is one of the saddest novels you’ve ever read in your lifetime? Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo. Jesus fucking Christ. Orbit or 5 Gum? Honestly can’t even remember their tastes… but I THINK I preferred the latter. Have you ever been in a love triangle? No. How bad are your hangovers? I’ve never had one. Do you think Taco Bell is nasty? No. Do you have a jacuzzi? Definitely not. Have you ever broken a bone? If so, what was the cause of it? No. Do you think vegans/vegetarians look down on people who choose to eat animal products? That’s a very generalizing statement… You can’t say that of them all. Some absolutely do, others don’t. Do your friendships tend to last a long time or are they short-lived? Definitely the former. Name the best and worst things about your current or most recent relationship. The best thing was absolutely that I felt accepted for entirely who I was, like I needed to hide not a single thing. The worst thing was easily distance. Fuck distance. How are you? Aggravated at a lot of things. What part of your body are you most insecure about? Absolutely my stomach. What’s one food you would be surprised to hear that someone doesn’t like? Chocolate. I mean I know at least one person who doesn’t, but boy does it catch you off-guard. Do you think your voice is higher or lower than average? It’s definitely lower than the average woman’s. Do you and your parents like any of the same bands/singers? Oh, loads! I couldn’t even begin to list them all. Is there any food in your bedroom? No. Do you know anyone who has road rage? MY YOUNGER SISTER. GOOD LORD. Riding with her is always a trip. How far away do your grandparents live from you? My only (barely) living one is in New York with family, probably until she dies. It’s like ten hours away. What kinds of cereal are in the cupboard? We have chocolate Special K, Honey Nut Cheerios, a Food Lion rip-off of Rice Krispies, and… maybe one more? Is your mom a big health freak or your dad? Or neither? Neither, really. Given her cancer, high blood sugar, and diabetes though, Mom is much more conscious of what she eats. Do you know anyone who wants to be the president one day? Not that I’m aware of. What kinds of chips are in the cupboards? We don’t have any. Mom and I try to keep snack foods out of the house because we know ourselves well enough to know we WILL eat them too fast. Do you have your mom’s or dad’s hair? Absolutely my mom’s. It’s thick as hell like hers was. What’s the first thing you see when you walk into your bedroom? Probably my massive Nightmare Before Christmas poster above my bed. Do you have any friends who have naturally red hair? Yes. Have you ever cried when a teacher retired? Yep. I’m never going to forget my first band teacher; he was a real comedian with a massive heart. We all adored him and got so excited when he would come back to substitute if our instructor had to miss and he was able to come. Oddly enough, I don’t remember his name… When’s the last time you wore heels? Oh Christ. Maybe Ashley’s wedding? Did I even wear heels? Do you have your mom’s or dad’s eyes? Neither. What’s the best date movie? I am such an average white bitch in how my answer to this will always and vehemently be The Notebook. How long has your current best friend been your best friend? Around three years. Have your parents ever been out of the country? No. Do you swear and yell while playing video games? No. I might curse under my breath. Is there any alcohol in the fridge? Oh I WISH. Do your pets chase after bugs? YUP. Roman loves hunting flies. When’s the last time you were so excited you couldn’t sleep? Why? Excited? Probably not since I was going to see Sara. I don’t know. What is your mom’s favorite movie? Oh shit, good question. How much older is your dad then you? Don’t make me math, please. 30-something years. Do you have any relatives who really spoil you? No. Do you know anyone who has security cameras in their house? Probably. What was the last movie to make you cry? No clue. Has anyone you know ever pulled the fire alarm in school, joking around? I think so? Who was the main character in the last book you read? Starflight. Is the last person you said goodbye to single? No, he’s married to my sister. Who are the last people you saw kiss? Like romantically/on the lips? Ummm probably a couple on Facebook or something. Have you ever posted a fan fiction on a website? No. Do you ever fantasize about your future wedding? Who’s the bride/groom? Not anymore. Do you have any relatives who are expecting a baby really soon? No. My high school friend did just announce she’s pregnant with her second child though. When you get married, who will be the maid of honor/best man? My mom. Does your best friend get along with their parents? Yes, they’re fantastic. Have you ever been in a wedding? What were you? Yes; I was the hideous bridesmaid that just cried all through my sister’s wedding. That was a fucking nightmare. Does it matter to you what kind of shampoo you use? I don’t really care, no. Do you have a sensitive gag reflex? Like STUPID fuckin sensitive. Where are you the most ticklish? Don’t touch my fuckin feet. What was the last situation to upset you? It was a petty envy thing that shouldn’t have upset me, let’s move along. Have you ever had an online argument? I’ve been socially on the Internet since I was 11 and am now 24, take a guess lmao. The general subject of your last text conversation? Asking Sara for permission for something RP-related. What is just down the hall from where you’re located? There’s not really a hall at all; my room opens up into the living room. Do any of your friends know you fill out surveys? Well besides the online friends I have here, no. Do you like the controversial/political surveys? ”It depends on if I have enough opinions (and energy) to give good answers or not.” <<<< Exactly this. Who/What did you last spend time worrying about? Myself and my future and my newfound fear of ending up homeless and hopeless after my parents pass away because I’m a very sorry Adult™. What was the last thing you prepared in the oven? Whoa, who knows. The oven scares me, so I don’t use it myself. When were you last offered something illegal? I don’t think I ever have been, actually. Did you accept or decline that offer? N/A When was the last time that you saw fire? On the way home like a week back or something. Someone was burning stuff in their backyard. Have you ever seen somebody get shot? No. What are you listening to? “Little One” by Highly Suspect. Gorgeous song. Do you chew on your hair? Um no???? Can you talk on the phone while having the tv/radio on? No. What size are all the televisions in your house? I don’t know the measurements, but it’s a large Vizio. One of the few really nice things we got when my parents were together. Do you have health insurance? Yes. How many times have you been pulled over by the cops while driving? Zero. What is one of your favorite movie lines? I don’t know, they’re not really something I memorize. What is one thing you look forward to every day? My morning Mountain Dew lmao it’s my coffee, essentially. What is one thing you dread every day? The inevitable part where I’m bored shitless by early evening. Ever lived through a natural disaster? Lots of hurricanes. What’s the longest you’ve lived without electricity? I wanna say around two days? Maybe even three? I don’t remember. Name all the drugs you have tried: None. Name all of the alcoholic beverages you have tried? Margaritas and sangrias with different types of alcohol that I don’t know. Oh, hard lemonade. Oh yeah, wine too, which was fucking repulsive. Name all the types/brands of cigarettes you have tried: None. What is one thing you stand strongly for? Fucking TRY ME on gay rights. What does your doormat say? We don’t have one. Who was the last person you were on hold with (on the phone)? I don’t remember. Who do you know that’s had a baby recently? Ummm I don’t think any *very* recently. Do you know anyone who got married recently? Again, not very. Do you know anyone who has died recently? No. Do you change songs in the car often? I use my iPod to play over it, where I select the songs to play, so I let them play through. However, if I was actually the driver, I definitely wouldn’t; it wouldn’t really matter because I’m so terrified of driving that I need almost no radio at all. What street sign do you find totally pointless? I’m not familiar enough with them all. What drinking games have you played? None. What made you pick up the last book you started reading? Sara got me into the series. Have you received any bad or troubling news lately? Welcome to 20fuckin20, y’all. When was the last time you were relieved about something? *shrug* What about your life concerns you the most? That I’ll waste it. Is there a common thing most people seem to do without trouble, but it scares you (talking on the phone, driving, interviews, etc)? When was the last time you had to do one of these kinds of things? When I went to the doctor a couple weeks ago, I signed myself in. Yes, that sets my anxiety off because I don’t know how to Talk. When was the last time you went somewhere for the first time? Uhhhhhhhh good question. I don’t go anywhere. What is a situation that makes you feel especially confident? Talking about meerkat behavior ha ha. If you’ve moved out from home, what was the scariest thing about it? What was/is your favorite thing about it? N/A Are there any fictional characters you like even though they’re “bad” or “evil?” What qualities draw you to a character? BITCH yes. I just like charisma. For villains, I really like when there’s a *reason* they’re bad, too, and not so just for the sake of it. And I am a SUCKER for sarcastic lil shit villains. What are your thoughts on “forgiving” murderers, rapists, attackers, etc? Do you think it’s even possible to forgive these people? This is a tough question, after I looked past my initial “hell no.” Like, people change. I suppose it varies case-to-case. What was the last series you finished watching? Do you have any plans to begin another? Actually finished, Ginga Densetsu Weed. I’m sure Sara and I will keep watching Avatar: The Last Airbender next time we see each other. What is one way in which you are different from a year ago? What is one way in which you are still the same? I definitely hate myself more than I did. And that’s the problem: I haven’t developed at all in a year’s time. Is there anything you’ve promised yourself you’ll never do again? Multiple things. Do you prefer fake tanning or real tanning? I prefer not tanning at all. Would you date someone who was addicted to drugs? No. I’m not getting into that shit. If the person was recovered, yes, but I wouldn’t hesitate leaving if they relapsed and didn’t seek help. Sounds brutal, but I’m serious about the damage drugs do, and not just to the user. Do you still talk to the person you had your first kiss with? No. It’s probably best we never do again. Can you make yourself cry? I’ve never really tried, but I don’t think so. Are you ready for kids? I’ll never be. Have you ever woken up crying from a bad dream? Plenty of times. Thanks, nightmares every fucking time I sleep. Do you eat breakfast? Yes. Cannot relate to people who don’t like wtf that’s the best part of the morning. Have you ever trusted someone too much? BOY OH BOY OH BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How did you get your last bruise? I don’t recall. Last time you got a text message and smiled? Idk. What was the last kid’s movie you saw? Ummmmm good question. Have you ever shared a shower or bath with someone as an adult? Noooo, not into it. Sounds dangerous but also just… weird to me. Like let me clean myself in peace??? Are you bitter about anything? Oh, am I. Do you use emojis? Occasionally. I’m too biased to emoticons, growing up using those every sentence, lol… but I’m starting to move towards them depending on the platform, and the ones I use are very limited. Do you have any hidden piercings? (this includes bellybuttons) No. I took my snake eyes out. Has anyone called you perfect before? *lips against mic* that was a motherfuckin lie Have you ever liked someone that was in a relationship? Yes. Have you ever gone through a period of mass weight-gain/weight-loss? What was that time like for you? Both, actually. First, mass weight-gain happened due to a medication I was on that murders metabolism + I was a bad emotional eater after the breakup, and those two don’t mix. Then, through recovery, I lost over 50 pounds in around a year from being off of that fucking medicine and my eating habits returning to normal. What’s one incident that has majorly affected your self-esteem? Was it for better, or for worse? THE BREAKUP. It made me feel like an absolute waste of space and time. Do you have a close bond with your sibling(s)? Was it always this way, or has it been better/worse? Not really, but I wish I did. Ashley and Nicole are very close, then I’m like… awkwardly on the sidelines trying to find times where I can insert myself and be a proper sister. Ash and I ARE closer than we were as kids, while it’s a harsh opposite with Nicole. We shared a room and were very close, but now I feel like she doesn’t even like me. Have you used Limewire before? Ha, yuuup… Who do you envy the most, if anyone at all? I’m uncertain about the most.

#survey #quiz #questions #questionnaire

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iol247 · 5 years ago

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Flashback: Unabomber Publishes His ‘Manifesto’

Ted Kaczynski was a madman who killed and maimed innocent people – but did some of his worries for the future come true?

By 2017 standards, a bearded man ranting in his manifesto about how “one of the most widespread manifestations of the craziness of our world is leftism” might, at best, have a chance ending up name-checked by Alex Jones. Most likely, he’d become the hero of a thousand faceless message board posters. His 35,000-word diatribe against technology titled “Industrial Society and Its Future” might be suitable for a personal blog, but a national newspaper? Surely not.

Of course, more than 20 years ago, when Ted Kaczynski mailed out what would come to be known as the “Unabomber Manifesto,” it was huge news. After over a decade spent living as a recluse without electricity or running water in a cabin in Montana – sending mail bombs to university academics and corporate airline executives – Kaczynski sent letters to the New York Times and the Washington Post demanding they publish his manifesto and agree to print an annual follow-up for three years. If they did, the bombings would cease. If not, the Unabomber hinted at more bombings to come.

It had started in May of 1978, when a package exploded and injured a Northwestern University security officer. A year later, another bomb was sent to the same college, injuring a graduate student. Also in 1979, Kaczynski snuck a bomb into the cargo hold of an American Airlines flight. It went off mid-flight, causing an emergency landing and afflicting 12 passengers with smoke inhalation. In 1985, he switched things up, and sent a shrapnel-loaded bomb to a computer store in Sacramento, California, claiming the owner as his first victim. By the mid-1980s, the Unabomber had become a real-life American boogeyman. A killer who would strike without warning, and without much reason. Why was he doing what he did – and when would he do it again?

The publication of the manifesto would end up being his undoing. Members of Kaczynski’s family had a slight suspicion Ted could be the person behind the terror campaign. His brother David was one of the thousands of people who called the FBI tip-line after the manifesto was published and a million-dollar reward was offered for information leading to the capture of the Unabomber. After a long search, FBI agents arrested an unkempt Kaczynski in his Lincoln, Montana cabin on April 3rd, 1996. They found bomb making components, over 40,000 journal pages and the manifesto’s original typed manuscript.

There’s no defending the actions of a person who mails bombs with the intent to do serious harm. But Andrew Sodroski, executive producer of the new Discovery mini-series, Manhunt: Unabomber, thinks there is plenty to take away from Kaczynski’s words. As he said in a phone conference with reporters leading up to the show, “What the manifesto has to say about our relationship with technology and with society is more true right now than it was when Ted published it.”

Not many domestic terrorists convicted of murder get called prophetic by television producers – and there are scholars from different sides of the political spectrum who agree that the the Unabomber’s anti-technology stance was ahead of its time. “His work, despite his deeds,” wrote Dr. Keith Ablow, a psychiatrist and member of the Fox News Medical A-Team, “deserves a place alongside Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley, and 1984, by George Orwell.” Ray Kurzweil, noted author, computer scientist and futurist, quoted a passage from the manifesto in his 1999 book, The Age of Spiritual Machines. Some believe he’s a murderous modern-day Henry David Thoreau, while others say he’s a genius and a prophet. So what, exactly did he get right?

Kaczynski opens his manifesto with, “The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race.” The technology he goes on to rail against, keep in mind, was mid-1990s – before smartphones, before Twitter, before “Likes” on Facebook and algorithms helped pick out things for you to buy and experience. Although the word “dystopia” never shows up throughout the essay, Kaczynski believed (and you have to assume still does so from his prison cell) that the future wasn’t some Philip K. Dick or Handmaid’s Tale scenario; the dystopian future started happening a long time ago. Computer networks, the mass-communication media, the modern health care system, pesticides and chemicals, all products of the Industrial Revolution, are destroying the planet, he writes. As one portion of the manifesto is sub-titled, “The ‘Bad’ Parts of Technology Cannot be Separated From the ‘Good’ Parts.”

In point number 49 the manifesto, Kaczynski writes, “In the modern world it is human society that dominates nature rather than the other way around, and modern society changes very rapidly owing to technological change.” One of the big problems, he believed while writing his manifesto, was the inevitable growth of artificial intelligence and how humanity will cope with it. “First let us postulate that the computer scientists succeed in developing intelligent machines that can do all things better than human beings can do them.” As one Wired article explained in 2015, “A manufacturing device from Universal Robots doesn’t just solder, paint, screw, glue, and grasp – it builds new parts for itself on the fly when they wear out or bust.” From checking you out at the grocery store to flipping burgers, robots are being designed to integrate into the labor force and cut costs.

He goes on to write in point number 172, “In that case presumably all work will be done by vast, highly organized systems of machines and no human effort will be necessary. Either of two cases might occur. The machines might be permitted to make all of their own decisions without human oversight, or else human control over the machines might be retained.” When Kaczynski’s thoughts were published, we were still dealing with the Terminator version of the robots overtaking humanity and destroying it – it was a nightmare scenario, fiction. But Kaczynski wasn’t writing speculative fiction; he was stating, from an academically-trained point of view, where he saw technology headed.

Technology overtaking humanity was only one of the scary possibilities. The rise of the “one percent” super rich and corporations controlling everything, was another. “Human freedom mostly will have vanished, because individuals and small groups will be impotent vis-a-vis large organizations armed with supertechnology and an arsenal of advanced psychological and biological tools for manipulating human beings, besides instruments of surveillance and physical coercion,” he wrote.

Tech companies have untold amounts of data on every person that logs online for everything from shopping for cat litter to ranting on Twitter. How to understand that data – and what to use it for – is an industry in itself. Could it be used to manipulate us? See the 2016 U.S. election and the rise of fake news spread through Facebook. “Hyperpartisan Facebook Pages Are Publishing False And Misleading Information At An Alarming Rate,” as one 2016 BuzzFeed article put it, showed up in feeds even if the people didn’t follow those groups. Some of the false news was spread the old-fashioned way, through word of mouth; but, as John Herman of the New York Times explained, misinformation on the social media service thrives or dies, “at least in part, on Facebook’s algorithm.” As Kaczynski believes, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. All of this seemed farfetched when Kaczynski’s words were put in front of a mass audience. In 1994, audiences were being told suave cyberterrorists like the ones in the movie The Net were the ones looking to steal your information online and do whatever they please with it.

After all this, however, calling Kaczynski a prophet might be a stretch. He’s a highly intelligent person who wanted to try and stop where he saw humanity headed by any means necessary – including murdering people. Yet he routinely points out throughout his manifesto that there very well might be no stopping the inevitable. The entire point of his manifesto, as he states, is revolution, anarchy: “Its object will be to overthrow not governments but the economic and technological basis of the present society.” Kaczynski, who has stated admiration for the eco-anarchist movement (“but I think they could do it better,” he also said in an interview in 1999), takes aim at both leftists, including “socialists, collectivists, ‘politically correct’ types, feminists, gay and disability activists, animal rights activists and the like”). He also writes, “conservatives are fools,” and that they’re, “just taking the average man for a sucker, exploiting his resentment of Big Government to promote the power of Big Business.” Kaczynski even engages in some gaslighting: “Feminists are desperately anxious to prove that women are as strong and as capable as men. Clearly they are nagged by a fear that women may NOT be as strong and as capable as men.”

All of this reiterates the point that Kaczynski is no hero whatsoever. The person who wrote “Industrial Society and Its Future,” is a fanatic. And as is sometimes the case, fanatics can take things to the tragic extreme. Yet there is something to be taken away from his words if you read closely; it’s that we give up a piece of ourselves whenever we adjust to conform to society’s standards. That, and we’re too plugged in. We’re letting technology take over our lives, willingly. It’s the sort of thing that doesn’t take a madman dressed up like a prophet to tell us; it’s all too evident. Kaczynski, to steal a phrase from the tech world, was just an early adopter of these thoughts. Yet his warning will probably forever go unnoticed because of the horrific deeds he carried out to get his message across.

https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/flashback-unabomber-publishes-his-manifesto-125449/amp/?__twitter_impression=true

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oscopelabs · 5 years ago

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Telling Lies In America 1985-1995: The Joe Eszterhas Era by Jessica Kiang

“Written by Joe Eszterhas” is a phrase that has not had much of a workout on US cinema screens in over twenty years—and it’s arguable whether the 1997, 19-screen nationwide release of certifiable shitshow Burn Hollywood Burn: An Alan Smithee Film exactly qualifies as “a workout.” But for those of us who had the parental training wheels come off our theatrical filmgoing in the late ‘80s or early ‘90s, there were few individuals more central to our cinematic coming-of-age. And with perhaps the sole exception of Shane Black, a different animal in any case, none of the others—the Spielbergs, Camerons, Tarantinos—were exclusively screenwriters. For over a decade, the Hungarian-born, Hollywood-minted superstar writer of Basic Instinct bestrode the adult-oriented commercial screenwriting mainstream like a smirking colossus in a tight dress wearing no underwear. And given that Hollywood is primarily how the USA, the most loudly, proudly self-created of nations, expresses itself to itself and to the rest of the world, by the man’s own bombastic standards it’s only a slight exaggeration to suggest that America, between the years of 1985 and 1995, was written by Joe Eszterhas.

But for all the dominance he exerted, the rules he rewrote and the sheer money he made, examining Eszterhas’ heyday today feels like an act of paleontology, even for those of us who lived through it. 1992 is not so very distant; in a variety of ways it is still with us. It was the year Quentin Tarantino, whose latest film is in theaters right now, broke out with his first, Reservoir Dogs. It was the year the current loathsome, racist, tinpot President of the United States made a cameo appearance in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, back when he was merely a loathsome, racist, tinpot property tycoon. It was the year that the number one box office spot was taken by Disney’s animated Aladdin, which felt close enough in time that the live-action remake which—and I’ve checked my notes on this, apparently was a thing that happened to us in 2019—felt entirely too soon.

But it was also the year of Paul Verhoeven’s Basic Instinct, the sine qua non of Eszterhas-penned films. And if Sharon Stone’s lascivious leg-cross (Verhoeven’s invention, incidentally, not Eszterhas’) provided posterity with the most iconic upskirt of a blonde in a white dress since Marilyn Monroe’s encounter with a subway grate, that is largely all that remains to us of it today. Well, that and the instantly forgotten sequel (sans Eszterhasian involvement) that already seemed wildly anachronistic in 2006. The original film, its writer, the erotic thriller genre it exemplified, the dunderheaded sexual politics it upheld while attempting to subvert, the whole idea of a mainstream screenwriter having a brand at all (even one as loosely defined as “writer of films you don’t tell your parents you snuck into”), all seem like ancient relics. These are the artifacts not only of a bygone age but of an extinct genus, a whole evolutionary branch that was nipped in the bud so comprehensively that even now scientists might argue over how closely the skeletons of certain bird species resemble the bones of Basic Instinct.

This containment, however, is what makes looking back at the Eszterhas era so fascinating. His brief Hollywood hegemony is a microcosmic event in cinematic history, one with a beginning, middle, and an end (barring some late-breaking epilogue, or a post fade-to-black pan down to an ice pick under the bed). And it didn’t start with his first produced screenplay, for the leaden Sylvester Stallone truckers-union drama F.I.S.T. (Norman Jewison, 1978), although the glimmer of future feats of financial alchemy was already present in the reported $400,000 he received for the novelization. Dawn really broke for Eszterhas, as it did for three of the only other people who could legitimately be termed his peers as purveyors of massively popular, high-concept, low-brow ‘80s sensationalism (producers Don Simpson and Jerry Bruckheimer, director Adrian Lyne), with 1983’s Flashdance.

It was an improbable success, less a film than an aerobics video occasionally interrupted by some awkward sassy banter and Jennifer Beals’ popping-flashbulb smile. Its vanishingly thin story, which Eszterhas co-wrote, is of an 18-year-old welder in a steel mill, who moonlights as an exotic dancer while aspiring to become a ballerina—a logline that sounds like a hoot of derision even as an unadorned description—and is full of Eszterhasian hallmarks. There’s the high degree of preposterousness. There’s the gym scene, during which the ladies of the cast grimace and lift weights in full makeup, and while here the frictionless unreality of Lyne’s TV-commerical aesthetic makes the sequence abstract, the peculiar faith in the erotic potential of a workout would recur in the squash sequence in Jagged Edge (Richard Marqund, 1985) and the ludicrous gym date in Sliver (Phillip Noyce, 1993).

And Flashdance also prefigures almost the entire Eszterhas oeuvre in being a story that centers on a woman’s experience and that laudably—if here laughably—positions her career ambitions as at least equal to her romantic aspirations in the mechanism of the plot. But, as elsewhere, it’s a view of women constructed by a proudly unreconstructed man, directed and photographed by men. (Eszterhas’ hard-drinking, womanizing, hellraising, Hunter S. Thompson-of-the-movies persona is enjoyably self-mythologized in his memoir Hollywood Animal.) If anything, what comes across most strongly in Eszterhas’ conception of a “strong woman” is his bafflement when tasked with imagining what such a woman might have going on inside her brain. His filmography may be full of female-fronted titles, and may contain the most famous mons venus in film history, but most of Eszterhas’ work could not be more male gaze-y f it were written from the point of view of an actual phallus, like the closing chapter of his 2000 book American Rhapsody, which is narrated by Bill Clinton's penis, Willard (I am not making this up).

This powerfully eroticized dissociation, this sexualized incomprehension of women as people with interior lives, is the animating idea behind the most Eszterhasian of Eszterhas scripts. But it’s a blank space in which directors, and especially actresses, could sometimes find room to create for themselves. Sharon Stone is genuinely, in-on-the-joke fantastic in Basic Instinct—who else could have delivered “What are you going to do, charge me with smoking?” as if it were an unreturnable Wildean riposte? Costa-Gavras’ Music Box (1989) is by some distance the sturdiest and least dated of Eszterhas movies, a lot due to its comparative sexlessness, but also because of a great, warm, real performance from an Oscar-nominated Jessica Lange. Debra Winger just about wins out in her more thankless role in Costa-Gavras’ first Eszterhas collaboration, Betrayed (1988). And Glenn Close imbues the heroine of the superior thriller Jagged Edge with such shrewdness that it’s almost a liability to the believability of the central deception.

But live by the sword, die by the sword, and when the director/actress combo fails to operate in similar sympathy we get Stone horribly miscast as a… sexy wallflower?… in Sliver, or Linda Fiorentino visibly flailing as a… downtrodden femme fatale?… in Jade, or poor Elizabeth Berkley thrashing wildly about in the neon-lit swimming pool of kitsch that is Showgirls. In these failures, the writer’s almost panicky vision of women as vast, dangerous cognitive black holes is best revealed. But then, mistrust of the opposite sex is only one aspect of the wider mystery that underpins even Eszterhas’ outlier titles: his entire output is preoccupied with how little any of us can ever know anyone.

In Eszterhas’ semi-autobiographical Telling Lies In America (Guy Ferland, 1997), a teenage Hungarian immigrant (Brad Renfro) is dazzled by Kevin Bacon's smooth-talking DJ, but blindly unable to work out if he is friend or fiend. Music Box details a lawyer’s dawning disillusionment over her adored father's murderous past—eerily mirroring Eszterhas’ discovery of his own father’s collaboration with the Hungarian Nazi regime. Betrayed has Winger’s FBI agent falling for Tom Berenger’s farmer only to discover he is, in fact, the neo-Nazi she insisted to her bosses he was not, in similar vein to Jagged Edge, in which Close’s lawyer discovers that the lover she successfully defended actually dunnit after all.

Oftentimes, the credulity-stretching ambivalence of these characters is all that powers the suspense, as in the is-she-gonna-kill-him-or-is-she-just-orgasming moments in Basic Instinct. In the misbegotten Nowhere to Run (Robert Harmon, 1993) Jean-Claude Van Damme plays a ruthless ex-con turned valiant protector, his blockish inertia apparently meant to signal that inner ambiguity. More often, it leads to final-act fake-out twists so unmoored to anything like recognizable motivation that they become weirdly weightless, as in Sliver when Stone’s Carly does not know if she’s killed the right man until the final four seconds of the film, and where, had the coin-flip gone the other way, it would still be equally (un)believable.

If it’s part of the egotistical remit of the writer to believe they have an insight into human psychology, it’s remarkable how much of Eszterhas’ oeuvre pivots around how fundamentally unknowable people are to one another. And while that schtick, by which you can’t tell if someone cares for you or is simply a talented sociopathic mimic, resonated briefly at the exact moment when the grasping, solipsistic ‘80s were segueing into the untrustworthy, PR-managed ‘90s, it proved not to have much long-game sustain. Critics had always been sniffy about Eszterhas, who clearly mopped up his tears with massive wads of 100 dollar bills. But when audiences started staying away, like in the Showgirls and Jade-blighted annus horribilis of 1995, the inflationary bubble that allowed Eszterhas to command millions for two-page outlines scribbled, one suspects, on the back of strip club napkins, abruptly burst. The idea of screenwriter-as-auteur, or rather as reliable bellwether of commercial success, proved a fallacy, an expensive experiment that began and ended with Joe Eszterhas, its earliest progenitor, luckiest beneficiary, and biggest casualty.

Glossy, vacuous, adult-themed thrillers were not the only thing going on in Hollywood, and Eszterhas was not the only big-name screenwriter. Shane Black, writer of Lethal Weapon, also commanded astronomical sums for his early ‘90s scripts, but the key difference is that Black wrote in the register of the franchise-able action-spectacular blockbuster that would eventually trounce all others as the Hollywood model for the future. Black has gone on to become part of the Marvel machine as a writer and director, while aside from one Hungarian-language period film, Children of Glory (Krisztina Goda, 2006), Eszterhas’ contribution to the pop cultural landscape post-2000 has been in the form of self-aggrandizing memoirs, or highly public fallings-out with celebrities, like Mel Gibson, of a similarly corked vintage.

The tastemaker point of view has historically been to consider Eszterhas among the worst things that ever happened to Hollywood—so much so that disdain-dripping sarcasm seems to be the fallback for critics summarizing his impact. But while no one is going to make the case for the man’s filmography as some sort of artistic landmark, the Eszterhas era did represent one of the last gasps of a Hollywood that believed, however misguidedly, in personality over product, when the idiosyncrasies, idiocies and ideologies of a single person—a writer at that—could, with studio backing and a 1,500 theater release strategy, influence the cinematic development of an entire generation. That might not have seemed like a good thing but retrospect, like cocaine, is a helluva drug and in 2019, with blandly anonymous, market-tested content churned out by mega-corporations bi-weekly to siphon your hard-earneds away, the kind of salacious tackiness Eszterhas represented feels oddly adorable, even quaint. Now that singular talents—even the obnoxious and objectionable ones—who could make decent returns on mid-budget, adult-oriented mainstream fare, have been steamrollered by infantilizing, monolithic billion-dollar mega-franchises, it’s hard not to be a little nostalgic for the vanished hiccup of time when Hollywood briefly uncrossed its legs for Joe Eszterhas, and Joe Eszterhas told us all what he saw.

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johnnymundano · 6 years ago

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Suspiria (2018)

Directed by Luca Guadagnino

Screenplay by David Kajganich

Based on the screenplay Suspiria by Dario Argento and Daria Nicolodi

Music by Thom Yorke

Country: United States, Italy

Running Time: 153 minutes

CAST

Dakota Johnson as Susanna "Susie" Bannion

Tilda Swinton as Madame Blanc

Tilda Swinton as Mother Helena Markos

Tilda Swinton as Dr. Josef Klemperer (as Lutz Ebersdorf)

Mia Goth as Sara Simms

Angela Winkler as Miss Tanner

Ingrid Caven as Miss Vendegast

Elena Fokina as Olga Ivanova

Sylvie Testud as Miss Griffith

Renée Soutendijk as Miss Huller

Christine LeBoutte as Miss Balfour

Małgosia Bela as Mrs. Bannion/Death

Fabrizia Sacchi as Pavla

Jessica Harper as Anke Meier

Chloë Grace Moretz as Patricia Hingle

Jessica Batut as Miss Mandel

Alek Wek as Miss Millius

Vincenza Modica as Miss Marks

Vanda Capriolo as Alberta

Brigitte Cuvelier as Miss Kaplitt

Gala Moody as Caroline

Anne-Lise Brevers as Sonia

Sara Sguotti as Doll

Halla Thordardottir as Mascia

Olivia Ancona as Marketa

Mikael Olsson as Agent Glockner

Fred Kelemen as Agent Albrecht

(The Waltz of Guilt: I was so enraptured with Suspiria that I failed to screengrab. IMDB is where I went.)

Nu-Suspiria vs Ur-Suspiria

Suspiria (2018) is a stately paced, grimly hued, intermittently gore drenched and impressively disciplined dance through generational guilt, the abuse of power and how monsters gestate within the everyday. It is the gloriously impossible cinematic bastard lovechild of The Red Shoes (1948) and Possession (1981). Fun stuff, bring the kids! Actually don’t, they’d only be bored and there’s also some proper rough stuff on show. Hoof! Oh aye, Suspiria is also an arthouse refurb of Dario Argento and Daria Nicolodi’s 1977 original. I loved the original sumptuously coloured frightmare, but I also adored the dourly garbed melancholic dancetastic update. Judging by the reception of Nu-Suspiria I am in a minority, luckily Nu-Suspiria has the courage of its convictions and dances like nobody is watching anyway. Nu-Suspiria dares to be different; it dares to be a Suspiria for the 21st century, and I liked it. I liked it a lot. Nu-Suspiria pays Ur-Suspiria the massive compliment of taking its skeleton and fleshing it anew with a vibrant, dark energy poached from history itself. Ur-Suspiria turned its back on reality with magnificently fanciful results. Nu-Suspiria faces reality full-on and the result is equally glorious, just… different. Vive la difference, yeah?

Follow That Dream (Into a Shower of Guts)!

It’s 1977 and young American lass Susie Bannion (Dakota Johnson; impressively limber) follows her dreams of the dancing life from her insular, artistically repressed Mennonite community to the insular, artistically uninhibited dance community of the Tanz Academie in Berlin. The Tanz Acadamie is a dance academy (obviously) and also a female commune, run by a number of mumsy figures. One of these, Madame Blanc (Tilda Swinton; icily precise), immediately recognises something special about the trembling ingénue and begins to prime Susie for a very special purpose. Whether that purpose is to dance up a storm for some OAPs at a Wednesday matinée or something far, far darker isn’t ever really in question. Pretty much everything else is in question; will Susie succumb, what happened to Patricia (Chloë Grace Moretz; doomed), can good come from evil, can you accept Tilda Swinton latexed up as an old man, why do good people go bad, why isn’t there more dancing in horror movies, and what’s with all this terrorism stuff anyway?

Every Skull Wears a Smile.

Fans of old timey musicals and just plain old timers will note that in Suspiria, like many a waif in many a musical, Susie starts out with only her dreams and the shoes on her feet, but her untapped and untrained talent blossoms and astonishes her peers and tutors alike. Yes, superficially Suspiria shares much of the structure of lighter dance fare, with everything leading up to a climactic dance where Susie shows everyone just what she can do and steals the show. Just what Susie can do and quite how she steals the show, however, will come as a real eye opener, I think. Suspiria certainly flabbered my gast harder than anything starring Ginger Rogers ever did. Given the meaty sequins of horror stitched into the dark leotard of Suspiria this structural similarity can safely be taken as satire; it can definitely be taken as the closest Suspiria gets to comedy. Which is fair enough, Berlin in 1977 wasn’t exactly laughtertown. It being rife with terrorism and terrorism being a bit of a downer.

For One night Only: The Red Army Faction Dance Troupe!

That’s two mentions of terrorism so far, because it’s fundamental to Suspiria is why. The spectre of ‘70s terrorism saturates Suspiria and initially this is a bit puzzling. It’s as though every TV and every radio only carries reports of the seizing of a plane by the RAF (the Red Army Faction, not the Royal Air Force; I admit I was initially puzzled too). A few posters on the girls’ walls aside, the world of Suspiria is free of time specific pop culture references; all there is in the world of Suspiria is the terror within the Tanz Academie and the terrorism without. It soon makes sense though. After all, as Jesus didn’t say, the terrorists will always be with us. They were with us in 1977. They were there before 1977 and they are with us still today. Different terrorists, but still terrorists. Evil evolves.

The Matryoshka Dolls of Evil.

And Suspiria, it becomes apparent, is all about how Evil may well evolve but its most reliable trick is to hollow people out and replace their essence with an adulterated doppelgänger. The mechanism for this, usually, being the abuse of power, and with the doings of the Tanz Academie matriarchs we see this in eerie action. What appears to be an egalitarian utopia is quickly revealed to be riven by factional infighting and, worse, the apparently benevolent den mothers are in fact parasites gorging on their wards’ youth and energy. The young are infected and corrupted from within until they echo the evil of their elders. As it is for satanic dance troupes, so it is for terrorists. As it is for terrorists, so it is for fascists.

Fake Face, Real Heart.

Yes, fascists, those massive arseholes without any redeeming features whatsoever. For in addition to terrorism, Suspiria is about the psychological scars marring Germany’s populace post WW2, that is, obviously, those who survived. Where there are survivors there is also guilt, alas. Dr. Josef Klemperer (Tilda Swinton in a wrinkly mask) is one such survivor. Now, it could be argued that Tilda Swinton made up like an old man is a bit too literal a personification of Suspiria’s core theme (basically: appearances are deceptive, yah?) to be anything other than laughable. But in Suspiria’s defence Tilda Swinton’s performance as an old man is kind of magnificent. Everyone else in Suspiria just seems (deliberately, I think) more like a symbol rather than a human being, except Tilda Swinton in a wrinkly mask. Klemperer’s search for the fate of his love, Anke (Jessica Harper; cameotastic), his acceptance of her fate and the price it extorts is Suspiria’s bone bleachingly sad illustration that only the good feel guilt. Evil couldn’t care less; that’s why it’s Evil.

Fake Gore, Real Horrors.

Despite being a horror movie Suspiria isn’t about cartoon Evil. Bravely it takes on real world Evil; how it can happen and what it costs. There’s a lot of red meat on Suspiria’s bones, too much for some. Me, I suggest you get stuck right in and fill your boots. Somewhere in its unapologetically self-indulgent sprawl Suspiria baldly states one of its core propositions - that folk are all too eager to believe the worst is behind us; unless we learn from the past we should fear the future. And we never learn from the past. But the human dance isn’t over yet. In amongst its gore, pain and horror Suspiria dares to suggest we might just surprise ourselves before the final curtain falls.

TL;DR: Suspiria (2018) was awesome.

#suspiria #movies #horror #witches #supernatural #dance #tilda swinton #daria nicolodi #luca guadagnino #david kajganich #dakota johnson #chloe grace moretz #2018 #the 2010s #jessica harper #united states #italy

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aspoonofsugar · 6 years ago

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Perfect Blue: Finding One’s Identity Between Fiction and Reality

I know Perfect Blue has already been analyzed a million times and that this analysis will probably not offer anything new and will just scratch at the surface of the movie. Still, I enjoyed watching it, so I wanted to share some thoughts which came to mind.

I think there are two main themes which are intertwined and underlined through lines from the TV series Mima is working in:

Excuse me...Who are you?

There is no way illusions can come to reality

These two lines are repeated several times in an almost obsessive way. They summarize what the movie wants to explore.

1) Problems related to finding one’s own identity when growing up.

2) The dangers of living in an illusion.

GROWING UP AND IDENTITY: “EXCUSE ME...WHO ARE YOU?”

Perfect Blue is basically the story of Mima growing up and changing from teenager to adult.

This transformation is symbolically represented by Mima’s change of career from idol to actress.

It is said several times how Mima’s new persona as an actress is “dirty” and that after the roles she has played she can never go back at being an idol since idols need to be pure.

This dychotomy between dirty and pure which comes up mostly when discussing Mima’s more provocative image as an actress can easily be seen as a dychotomy which can be applied to the passage from childhood to adulthood. After all exploring the sexual sphere is seen as an experience which marks a trasformation, so the movie is using such symbology in a metaphorical way in order to underline the fact Mima is becoming an adult.

Her becoming an actress marks a step into adulthood also for the nature of the job itself which is connected to the other theme of the movie i.e. the line between illusions and reality.

Idols have a public persona and a private one. In short, they too act, but they only have to deal with two sides of themselves whereas as an actress Mima will have to deal not only with more complex and even ambiguous roles, but also with multiple ones and she will need a strong sense of identity in order to remain herself despite them.

However, in the beginning Mima lacks such a strong self-awareness and she is coded as a young girl stepping into a new phase of her life without being ready:

Frames of feet stepping lines or entering doors are often used in Japanese movies and animes and they mark the character making an important step for themselves. However, in this case, Mima doesn’t confidentely take this step, but she is passively pushed. In a sense it is a step she can’t avoid to take.

This is something which we viewers and Mima herself are reminded of on multiple occasions.

She can’t stay an idol forever. If she wants to survive in the industry she has to re-invent herself and to change. This is similar to how children can’t avoid to grow and to have to face complicated situations.

Let’s also underline that Mr Tadokoro and Rumi are often seen discussing and bickering about the future of Mima’s career and which direction she should take in order to become successful. They are two adults who guide Mima and whom Mima depends on. In short, they can easily be read as Mima’s metaphorical parents.

A short call between Mima and her mother especially underlines how the woman shares Rumi’s point of view on Mima’s change of career. As a matter of fact both women see it negatively and would prefer that Mima keeps pursuing her career as a singer.

In short, Mima’s struggle to become an actress can be seen as the struggle of a girl becoming a woman and having to adjust herself to her new situation.

Mima’s adjustement starts with her changing her room:

Mima’s room at the beginning of the movie is very girlish and it reflects her immaturity. Since Mima knows she has to change, one of her first actions in the movie is to take away the CHAM’s poster symbolic of her previous life as an idol. As the movie progresses Mima’s room becomes more adult-like, but also more impersonal because it reflects Mima’s identity crisis. However, at the same time the room’s change also symbolizes the necessity for Mima to leave her comfort zone. Despite the obstacles Mima faces, this choice will be proven to be correct in the finale when she will go back once again to “Mima’s room” only to realize that that’s not her room anymore:

This is not my room

Mima has changed and she can’t go back to being an idol, but this is not per se a negative thing. As a matter of fact the movie makes clear that the important thing is not for Mima to choose if she wants to be an idol or an actress, but that whichever choice she makes what counts is that she doesn’t let herself be swallowed by her public persona.

In short, she must separate her character from herself.

DREAMS AND REALITY: “ILLUSIONS CAN’T COME TO REALITY”

Illusions can’t come to reality

The person repeating this line over and over is Eri Ochiai who is who Mima should aspire to become:

Eri Ochiai is a great actress after all. She is a different person so completely involved when the camera is rolling.

As a matter of fact Eri is able to change personality in front of the camera, but maintains a strong sense of identity and goes back to be herself once her part is over.

Mima in the beginning lacks such a strong sense of self and we can see this in how she as a person starts identifying too much with her own character to the point where she doesn’t know who she is anymore.

Mima’s character in Double Bind seems to parallel Mima’s apparent development in the movie.

1) Her character starts as a normal girl who is simply the sister of one of the victims killed in the series.

She has no complex characterization and in the scene that we see she appears confused and scared.

This is how Mima feels in the beginning when she joins the cast of the series. She feels she doesn’t belong and is uncomfortable because of it.

2) Later on, her character is raped and through this plot-twist she manages to become a regular in the story.

This symbolizes how Mima feels pressured by the industry to the point where she feels forced to accept parts and a public image she doesn’t really like in order to become successful. She feels objectified and used exactly like her character in the rape scene.

3) Finally her character is revealed to be the criminal behind the murders of the series. She turns out to be a mental ill person who lacks a proper identity.

This mirrors Mima’s progressive loss of the sense of self. This loss is conveyed in the central part of the film which is confusing since it shows how Mima’s vision of the world is becoming unclear and how she mixes dream and reality.

For example this frame repeats itself several times:

A truck seems to be about to kill her, but then she wakes up in her room. This specific image may symbolize how Mima feels overwhelmed by the whole situation and can’t really manage it.

By this point reality is entangled with illusions and Mima risks to lose herself in this chaos.

However, as Eri reminds her:

Illusions can’t come to reality

It is not by chance that the woman Mima wants to become reminds Mima of this just before her confrontation with Me-Mania.

As a matter of fact this fight is a breaking point even if it might not seem immediately so.

Mima is assaulted and she risks getting raped. It symbolically happens in the same set used in the rape scene in the series. However, Mima is not her character. While her character didn’t manage to react, she does and is able to successfully fight off her assaulter. This is where her destiny and the one of her character starts to diverge.

However, by this point Mima is still not able to properly differentiate between what is true and what is false. In order to finally do so she needs to go back into Mima’s room:

We are going back to Mima’s room

MIMA’S ROOM: TRUE MIMA VS FAKE MIMA

Mima needs to return one last time to “her” room in order to realize that it was a good thing she left it in the first place.

First of all, if she had not left it she wouldn’t have been able to realize that she was not in fact in her room, but in a replica:

And failing to realize it in time might have been dangerous for Mima.

More importantly, she discovers what would have happened to her if she had refused to leave it aka if she had refused to grow up.

She could have become like Rumi.

Rumi is everything Mima is scared of and at the same time risks of becoming.

a) She is a person who has not been able to properly grow old and who is trapped in her own past as an idol.

b) She is a person with an extremely frail sense of self to the point that she has tricked herself into believing she is someone else.

Let’s also underline how Rumi from a symbolic point of view also represents two other things.

1) She is a synthesis between the two characters Mima identifies with the most. As a matter of fact Rumi represents Mima’s idol persona, but she also commits acts similar to the ones Mima’s character in Double Bind does and she does so because of similar reasons to the ones the character has. In short, Mima fighting Rumi is basically her refusing her false identities and affirming her own.

2) As I mentioned before, Rumi has a protective behaviour towards Mima which is similar to the one a mother could have. Because of this, Rumi is to an extent a maternal figure who is trying to control Mima’s life in a selfish way. So, Mima’s last fight with her is also Mima reclaiming her own Independence and control on her life.

So, several thematic lines meet in Rumi and Mima’s final confrontation which is solved in a highly symbolic way.

We have Mima finding herself and affirming who she is:

I am Mima!

Rumi, in contrast, destroys the glass and later on is unmasked by Mima:

However, she can’t stay without her mask, so she attempts to take her wig back and hurts herself in the process. Symbolically, while she does so she is reflected in a frammented mirror because her own identity is frammented:

So, Mima manages to find herself, while Rumi doesn’t and this is why she loses.

Finally, Rumi can’t distinguish between what are her delusions and what is true and because of this she risks to die:

However, Mima manages to save her and she does so because she has a better grasp on reality. Mima saving Rumi is metaphorically her winning against her nightmares like the one of the truck killing her.

Like with the rape scene, Mima might have not been able to react in time in the dream, but she manages to do so in the real world and in this way she proves she is able not to let herself being overwhelmed. This makes so that she can reach professional success, since after having won her battle Mima is implied to have become an affirmed actress.

Let us underline how she is now wearing her hair long in a fashion which is similar to Eri’s. This can be seen as a symbol of her having grown up.

At the same time she has now a stronger identity as the last line of the movie confirms:

AMBIGUITY: THE TITLE “PERFECT BLUE”

I am aware that the above interpretation doesn’t solve all the ambiguities the movie offers.

For example:

Was this Mima’s dream (a representation of some of her suppressed wishes) or reality?

Or also did Rumi put the blood-stained clothes in Mima’s room or did Mima herself put them in it?

As we are told in the movie itself:

A continuous stream of memories...Given only that we create the illusion within ourselves that we have only one fixed persona.

The only proof that a person is the same as before lies in one’s memories. However, Mima’s memories of that period of time are confused and mixed with dreams. So, in the end there is no proof about who the real murderer is.

I am more partial to the interpretation I have previously illustrated, but there is enough to make the situation ambiguous, especially when it comes to color symbolism as this video explains.

Basically, the idea is that the color red is used in the narrative to illustrate Mima’s progressing deteriorating psychological condition.

According to this interpretation, the title Perfect Blue might represent a state of mind which is perfectly clear and in which mental illness has been completely overcome:

However, even when such a perfect state seems to have been realized the color red makes its appearance in the very last scene of the movie:

A car is a closed space (like a room), so it is perfect as a metaphor of one’s mind. The fact that it is red, exactly like Rumi’s car, might suggest how Mima has not completely overcome her illness which might come back in the future. So, in this case, the last frame wouldn’t be about a young woman who can now affirm with confidence who she is, but about a person who is still struggling with her reflection and with the persona she projects to others.

Of course one could simply read the whole scene to represent the idea that forming and affirming one’s identity is an ongoing process and that one has to continuously struggle and to affirm to one-self who they are.

However, you could also embrace a darker interpretation according to which Mima was the real murderer and Rumi just happened to become a convenient scapegoat on whom Mima could project the worst part of herself without needing to truly face them.

Depending on which interpretation you like the most this line might have two different meanings:

Thanks to her I am who I am today.

On one hand, if you accept the darkest interpretation, then Mima unconsciously means that by assigning the role of murderer to Rumi and by making her guilty of all the violent events which happened in the movie Mima managed to rebuild a sense of identity strong enough to keep going.

On the other hand, if you prefer my previous interpretation, then Mima’s words metaphorically refer to how, by facing her own jungian shadow (so all the negative traits she was repressing) in Rumi, Mima managed to actually grow and to become stronger.

This second way of reading the text is linked to another possible meaning of the title where the expression Perfect Blue may represent the constant struggle between the persona we project for others to see (perfect) and the shadow made of all the things we don’t want to face about ourselves (blue aka a colour associated with sadness and negative feelings). This reading suggests that one’s identity is born by finding the right balance between these two halves of one-self.

#perfect blue #perfect blue meta #satoshi kon #rape tw #rape mention tw #violence tw #my meta

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sailor-cresselia · 6 years ago

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Zi-O 37: Gotta go fast!

I’m gonna sprinkle in some chat segments from the live watch that @miyukomatsuda and I did of the episode as it aired, but this is mostly my watch of the RiderTime sub.

(I’m also hoping to do a watch of some of the recent episodes again, but with the O-T subs, so that I can get a more… well phrased translation.)

As always, spoilers for Zi-O episode 37 below the cut.

~~~~~

So, a giant meteorite just hit. It doesn’t have a Rider inside this time, though! No, it has Worms! Shapeshifters! Who are basically the Zygons!

(I don’t go to Doctor Who anymore, but that’s what I’ve been told, and the impression I got from Marcosatsu’s History of Kabuto vid.)

Team 9-to-5 are watching a news broadcast at breakfast about the meteorite – aaaand nope, newscaster’s a Worm, much to the poor cameraman’s surprise.

Cressy: Woz: Welp! Found out who we’ve got this week!

Miyuko: “My turn to do things.”

Miyuko: “Also, we dealt with the gas leak.”

Miyuko: “We should all be sane again.”

(The idiot ball was in full force during the Kiva Arc. We will never let it rest.)

~~~~~

Sougo, Tsukuyomi, and Geiz are headed off to see where that second meteorite hit, the one with the worms on it, when a third one shoots down, in the other direction. So, off they go, splitting the party. Again.

Poor Geiz, he’s with Woz again. Who, by the way, is nowhere to be seen, having ditched the team to go do his recap.

At… the Hachiko statue.

Huh.

And the key player for this fortnight’s worth of episodes… Kamen Rider Gatack – Arata Kagami.

Who is clearly in a state of “Not this again...” as another meteorite streaks by. Or it could be that one that split the party, it’s a little hard to say.

~~~~~

They used part of the Kabuto opening – with the beetle wings – to cut into the OP this time! Nice touch!

I was host for the stream Miyuko and I did when we watched the Raw, and I BLINKED AND MISSED THE FORM RUN THROUGH that time! And here I pride myself on noticing differences in the OPs!

But Kamen Rider Woz’s base form has been replaced by his Ginga form, with the ‘base’ version, Ginga Finaly shown in full, and the Planet and Sun forms shown in bust form.

~~~~~

And FINALLY, they notice that the Another Rider’s aren’t erasing the previous Riders from history anymore! They haven’t been doing that for a while, guys. I mean, if they were still doing it, you wouldn’t have been able to have all of your senpai help you out in the movie last December… you know, shortly before you moved into having Future Riders for a while, and then back into the older Legend Riders.

You might write it off as ‘odd’, or ‘paradoxes have messed with space-time nearly beyond repair’, but I still say that time travel doesn’t work like you think it does.

I will hold my ‘they have been faking it’ theory until absolutely proven otherwise, folks.

…and I’m still going to be using it in ReUnited, anyway. ~Fanfiction land says I can do what I want.~

Besides, Sougo’s having fun! He’s getting to meet all of these Kamen Riders, after all!

…Sougo, kitty, I’m pretty sure you still don’t quite get how serious some of this is, but you get a solid B for effort.

~~~~~

Cressy: THEY FINALLY REALIZE THAT THEY AREN’T ERASING PEOPLE ANYMORE

Miyuko: YOU DUMBASSES

Miyuko: Mouri: DAMNIT SHIMOMIYA STOP MAKING ME HANDLE LORE

~~~~~

At the third landing site…

Woz. Woz you are so unbelievably petty. “I will be giving the orders around here, let’s go.” For crying out loud, Woz, just work as a team with Geiz, please.

So, off they go, into battle against a swarm of Worms using Faiz and Kikai!

~~~~~

Miyuko: if sougo goes to space i’m gonna yell that I called it

~~~~~

SOUGO IS SO DUMB.

SOUGO. You already knew that they could copy people. You SAW one do it on tv. So why would you assume that the people working at the crash site, where that broadcast came from, were normal humans?

Sougo, PLEASE.

Also, it looks like the Worms agree with me: right before they drop their disquises, they’re giving him this look like “Wow, this kid is dumb.”

And before Sougo bothers to transform, shots fly from off screen~!

Hey there, Gatack! Nice to see you’re doing okay!

~~~~~

Meanwhile, over with Woz and Geiz, we’ve got them landing finishers on a pair of Worms… but there’s still more of them. And, as Woz finally bothers to mention…

Worms can go faster than you can see when they get stronger.

(I agree with Geiz’s frustration at not having been told this sooner! WOZ!!)

Good thing they’ve got Revive Typhoon and Shinobi~~!

~~~~~

Back with Sougo and Kagami… They finish off a mass of Worms, but something red knocks them down.

Something – sorry, someone – that Kagami calls ‘Kageyama’.

Enter PunchHopper.

And with his entrance, Kagami goes into Gatack’s cast off Rider form – and right into Clock Up.

~~~~~

Cressy: “Hey, new kid, how fast can you go?”

Cressy: Actually, super speed is a problem for Sougo!

Miyuko: Sougo: UHHHHHHH

Miyuko: He has to hide

Cressy: Because he couldn’t keep up with Revive so

~~~~~

The battle starts to deal some collateral damage to the infrastructure, leading to rubble starting to fall towards a mother and child.

Tsukuyomi says no.

A stopwatch ticks.

The rubble freezes in midair, letting the civilians escape.

Tsukuyomi sees something.

Herself, younger, and three people facing away from the cameras viewpoint. At least one is an adult – presumably male, in an outfit that looks an awful lot like the one Swartz wore in 2009. The other two… I think the one to the left of the screen is a young girl, with pigtails. The one on the right looks to be an adult male… and it’s very grainy, but that style of dress looks like a black and white version of what Sougo’s uncle wears.

Of course, she only focuses in on young her and almost-definitely-Swartz.

Please, Toei, Shimomiya, I am begging you, do not let anyone be related. We’ve got both time travel and amnesia going on in here already, we do not want you to go that route!

~~~~~

Swartz sees this from a nearby roof, and notes that her powers are getting stronger, and soon they’ll completely awaken.

Someone asks what will happen when they do.

~~~~~

Miyuko: **YELLS**

Miyuko: TSUKASA

Cressy: Tsukasa: Sup.

Miyuko: WERE YOU OFF GETTING LAID TSUKASA

Cressy: Look at that posture

Cressy: Daiki showed up.

Cressy: he def was.

~~~~~

Tsukasa: “So… you’re connected to that girl somehow. I’ve been doing some investigating…”

Swartz: “Oh, yeah, sure. Do what you want… If you can.” (he says in an ominous tone, ominously.)

Tsukasa: “Thanks. I’ll do just that.”

~~~~~

Back on the ground, Sougo… is getting his ass handed to him. But! He does have the realization that the speed PunchHopper and Gatack are moving at is similar to Geiz Revive Typhoon… and he’s figured out a way to counter that.

It used to be that he was only looking one move ahead when he used Zi-O II’s precog abilities.

He’s looking ahead three here.

Sougo knows he won’t be able to react in time for the first two strikes, but the third…

On the third he can time a strike of his own.

And he knocks PunchHopper down.

Gatack tries to finish him off – but a red blur takes the hit.

Another Kabuto has made his appearance, and it looks like he’s Sou Yaguruma, former alias KickHopper. He grabs PunchHopper, and nyooms right on out of there.

~~~~~

Miyuko: OH FUCK IT’S ONE FO THE HOPPER BROS

Cressy: OH MY GOD ANOTHER KABUTO IS ONE OF THE HOPPER BROS

Miyuko: KAGAMIII

Cressy: OR A WORM OF ONE OF THEM

Miyuko: IS IT TIME FOR HIM TO SUFFER (We saw one was a worm

Miyuko: (shame we uh

Miyuko: (remember the rider sona

~~~~~

(Miyuko’s at least watched some Kabuto, but not very far. I, on the other hand, have seen exactly none, and would have no idea which one we saw in the cold open.)

~~~~~

Now then, we jump to Kagami explaining the situation to Woz and Sougo at the shop, giving them a basic run down of who the Hell Brothers are, along with showing them pictures. Pictures of the terribly dated late ‘00’s Hot Topic discount bin wardrobes that those two wore.

Kagami: So, the PunchHopper is definitely a Worm mimicking the original.

Woz: How can you know?

~~~~~

Miyuko: Woz intensifies

Miyuko: “Pretty sure he’s dead.”

Cressy: “So, yeah, he’s dead, but. uh. Apparently not anymore.”

Miyuko: “Fuck if I know, guys.”

Miyuko: Shibuya!

Miyuko: FLASHBACK TO KABUTO

Cressy: “Also, it’s really weird that Shibuya exists again.”

Miyuko: “Wait what”

Miyuko: Sougo: :)

Miyuko: Woz: “THE FUCK?!”

~~~~~

So, yeah, the timelines are a mess here. In 1999, in Kabuto, Shibuya was destroyed by a meteorite – one carrying the Worms. It’s … incredibly intact here.

OH. DUUUHHHH. That’s why Woz was at the Hachiko Statue!

It’s at Shibuya station.

WOW, I feel dumb. I remembered who Hachiko was, but didn’t catch the link as to why Woz would be there until just now.

Also, Sougo, I get that you were born in 2000, but. Like. That was only one year later. I thought your only decent subject was history! If this happened in the current timeline, you ought to know about it!

~~~~~

At an overlook, Geiz finds Tsukuyomi, having been told about her using her time powers again, and she tells him that she remembered something. Her mother and father, and ‘another man’.

… wait SHIT I said that the seated man’s outfit looked a lot like Junichiro’s, didn’t I? ABORT MISSION! NO, NO, NO! CALL IT OFF! STOP THE RIDE, I WANNA GET OFF!

Tsukasa appears on the scene. “Hey, so. Do you want to take a look and see what was going on back there? I’m trying to find the source of why the fabric of space and time is getting holes poked in it, so if you want to come along…”

… Okay, so he says ‘distorted,’ according to the RT subs, but it amounts to the same thing.

Geiz thinks this is a terrible idea, but Tsukuyomi wants to know who she is. So she goes with him.

Er, Tsuka- Tsukasa? I think you are a poster child for ‘sometimes you are better off not knowing who you used to be’, just as much as you are for ‘don’t lean too hard into the world-destruction prophecies.’ You may want to rethink your stance on this.

Mind you, you’re also a shining example of ‘there’s no escaping destiny’ and ‘you can’t thwart stage one’, so I guess that ship has already sailed.

~~~~~

Miyuko: TSUKASA’S UP TO THINGS

Cressy: Tsukasa: “GUYS, QUIT FUCKING WITH THE TIMELINE. YOU’RE MAKING MY JOB AND THE DENLINER CREW’S JOBS THAT MUCH HARDER”

~~~~~

So, a quick call between Geiz and Sougo, and we switch back to the Sougo and Woz team. (Man, we’re really getting the groups together this week, aren’t we?)

They’re confronted by Kageyama – who, yes, is a Worm. And he admits it. But he still has the original Kageyama’s memories as a human, and he wants them to help his brother. Worm or human, he can’t stand to see Yaguruma as an Another Rider – as a monster. They’ve seen too much hell for him to want any more.

Woz: My lord, this is clearly a trap.

Sougo: You need to start trusting people, Woz. Besides, we want to help save Yaguruma, too, don’t we? :)

Except that that is not his usual ‘This is going fine!’ smile. That is a smile of ‘he knows what’s going on.’

… You know, So Okuno’s really grown into his role, here. I think he’ll be able to do pretty well once he graduates from Sougo.

(He’s grown into his role, if not his clothing. Seriously, wardrobe department, could you let him wear clothes that fit properly? Why was this whole ‘everything is minimum a size and a half too big’ thing a decision?)

ANYWAY. THIS is a good scene for the instrumental of Toki no Ouja.

Also, you can hear the belts and chains Kageyama’s wearing well before you see them.

~~~~~

A quick interlude to Junichiro, back at the shop, having just fixed a radio. He goes to make sure it’s actually fixed, and turns it to the news.

There’s a large meteor headed for the center of Tokyo. And it’s much larger than the previous ones that have hit.

…

WAIT WHAT

(cue shot of said meteor in space)

~~~~~

Miyuko: OH MY GOD THEY ARE GOING TO SPACE

~~~~~

And now, to a totally-not-suspicious definitely-not-a-trap perfectly-harmless warehouse.

Sougo: So, Yaguruma’s supposed to be in here, right? (proceeds to walk in, with his back towards the guy who literally calls himself one of the Hell Brothers, like an idiot)

KAGEYAMA GOES TO STRANGLE HIM FROM BEHIND. BECAUSE OF COURSE HE DOES.

But he doesn’t get to – because Kagami bodychecks him away.

Kagami: “Kid, NO! You’re too naive! Walking into a trap like this!”

Kageyama: “Ahahaha… I mean, yeah, it’s a trap, but it’s not for the brat.”

Another Kabuto SLAMS into Kagami.

Kageyama: “We’re after you.”

Kagami and Kageyama both transform.

~~~~~

Cressy: THANK YOU KAGAMI

Miyuko: Aw yiss

Miyuko: Shoutout to Mouri USING THE RETURNING LADS

Cressy: STRAIGHT INTO CAST OFF

Cressy: UNLIKE INOUE

~~~~~

PunchHopper LUNGES at Sougo, who is just standing there – there’s a clicking sound – and a massive surge of gravity slams PunchHopper to the ground. (cue Miyuko and I basically just shouting WHAT into the chat)

Oh my god. Turns out Woz’s attack is even more ridiculous than I’d thought. He’s allegedly channeling the gravity of 10,000 black holes, because that’s totally a thing that’s possible. … Meh, he’s got reinforcements from the armor, he’ll be fine.

Woz: Ah, yes, as expected of my overlord. Taking advantage of the enemies trap-

Sougo: Er, actually, I just wanted him to take me to Yaguruma. Now we just have to defeat the two of them. (goes to transform)

Everything starts to shake.

Oh, there’s that giant meteor!

Rider Time!

Zi-O! Fourze!

3! 2! 1! Fourze!

~~~~~

Miyuko: HE’S GOING TO

Miyuko: OH MY GOOOOD

Cressy: UCHUUU KITAAAAAAAAA

Miyuko: UCHUU IKUUUUU

Miyuko: Sougo pls

Cressy: FINE I’LL TAKE THE MESS UP

~~~~~

I mean, if it stops a GIANT METEOR FROM HITTING TOKYO? I don’t CARE if he gets the catchphrase wrong!

And it’s pretty close, anyway. Way better than his attempts at Ex-Aid’s and especially Build’s catchphrases.

~~~~~

Back to Gatack versus the Hell Brothers, who are soon joined by Woz.

Turns out, Yaguruma doesn’t care that Kageyama’s a Worm, since he’s the only one willing to be his partner.

After being tremendously outsped, and taking a few good blows, Woz unleashes an incredibly over-the-top finisher in the form of his Planetary Explosion. Yes, I know that’s not the actual name, but my computer’s autocorrect is a pain, and I’m not going to try typing out any of the forms that attacks real name can take. I don’t want to teach my computer that.

And there’s a huge explosion of flame, flames spreading across the floor… Woz gives a grandiose pair of quotes in a very Tendou style, down to the pointing. But a sound comes from ground zero of the attack.

A green suit drags itself into a standing position.

KickHopper: I don’t believe in the power of the universe… I only believe in the power of hell…

He lands a Rider Kick that Woz just manages to get a guard up in time to block. When Woz can look up… nobody’s there.

Geiz comes in… but none of the three returning characters are around anymore.

There is, however, a ‘message’. Someone’s left a package of instant bowl ramen, and a note, with one word.

“Hell.”

SO THAT’S NOT OMINOUS AS FUCK AT ALL.

~~~~~

Miyuko: “Wait, I’ve had this form one ep why am I being worfed”

Cressy: WELCOME TO BAD TIMES

Cressy: ON BOTH ENDS OF THE TIMELINE

~~~~~

A portal appears in the air, in 2058. Tsukuyomi and Tsukasa step out, to when she would have been 8 years old, into a ruined city.

With an incredibly ominous looking cloud front and thunderstorm off in the distance.

~~~~~

Back to 2019… Geiz… is in no position to do anything but leave the whole meteor thing to Sougo. A man in black, with copious chains, drags himself through the river below. “Did… someone laugh at me?”

Yaguruma, what are you doing there?

~~~~~

IT’S SPACE TIME!

Sougo’s ready! He can do this! He -

Did not realize how big that was actually going to be!

But he drills through the meteor with a Limit Time Break, shattering it… and also releasing a bunch of Worms that were in there into the vacuum of space.

Oh well.

Except that one wasn’t the real problem.

No, the real problem is that the grey meteor?

Is a pebble in comparison to the giant red one behind it.

Everything is very red in 2068.

~~~~~

Miyuko: THISISFINE

Miyuko: oh shit

Miyuko: IS THIS WHY THE EARTH IS FUCKED UP

Miyuko: SPAAACE

Miyuko: oh boy SOUGO PLS

Cressy: SOUGO BABBY

Miyuko: GEN WOULD BE SO PROUD

Cressy: DID YOU NOT REALIZE FROM HOW BIG IT SEEMED

Cressy: OBJECTS IN MIRROR-

Miyuko: HOLY SHIT

Miyuko: POSE

(He was pretty close, with the pose! It’s… probably easier in 0G, given Gens whole thing.)

Cressy: OH MY GOD HE DRILLED THROUGH A METEOR

Miyuko: OH NOOOOOOOO FUCK

Cressy: OH MY GOD THAT WAS A PEBBLE

Miyuko: OH NO OH NO OH NOOOOOOO

Miyuko: THIS IS WHY THE EARTH IS FUCKED IN 2068 ISN’T IT

Cressy: OH MY GOD THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED TO FUCK UP THE PLANET

Cressy: IT’S REMNANTS ALL OVER AGAIN. I AM HAVING K.A. APPLEGATE FLASHBACKS HERE

Miyuko: WELL BOY FUCKING HOWDY WHAT A ZI O. -oh god PLEASE LET THE KABUTO WATCH GO TO KAGAMI. PLEASE

Miyuko: But Damn that was toei making it up to us from last week huh

Cressy: OH YES

Miyuko: GOOD USE OF RETURNING ACTORS.

DRAMA

STAKES

SOUGO DRILLING A METEOR.

TSUKASA CAME BACK.

Cressy: Tsukasa: “It’s not technically spoilers if it’s your own past, right? Right. I could have used this sort of heads up.”

~~~~~

So! Yeah! We were! Basically just completely screaming after that!

This is a much better episode than the last two. Thank you, Mouri-san! THANK YOU!

#kamen rider zi o #sailorcressy says

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obscurewatch · 6 years ago

Text

D.Va's skin Black Cat has been hinting at the new Paris map for a year

The Black Cat skin for D.Va was added January 23rd 2018 as part of the cosmetic update.

On the mech's jetpack-wing-thing, you can see a LUNA sticker. Until now, it made no sense but with the release of the Paris map and the introduction of the omnic cabaret singer/owner Luna, we now know the whole skin was a clue about Paris :D

From the game files, texture file of all the stickers on Black Cat

Same cat ears !

Since Black Cat's release, we've had 12 months to figure out Paris was going to become a map. The skin contained "enough" clues to make a wild guess and think of Paris, or at the very least think of the cabaret vibe, and then of Paris.

Her dress looks like the curtains of a cabaret stage. Her shoes and that pearl belt also look very cabaret-ish. Her cleavage also has that cabaret vibe and look at the lace on her dress, on her mech and on her cleavage too. The hearts everywhere on this skin (even though hearts are already a big part of D.Va's design) could have made us thing of "Paris city of Love".

NOW it all makes sense.

It would have required gigatons of reaching in order to guess Paris out of that. But technically it was doable. Once you assume that everything is a clue (and this just confirms it), you start seeing things and all it takes is connecting the dots.

I like that it might be canon that D.Va is a big fan of Luna !

From the Patch Notes :

Paris, an elegant city of art and romance, is the home of our newest Assault map. Begin your journey at the Cabaret Luna, where the velvety alto voice of preeminent diva Luna charms movie stars, revolutionaries, locals, and tourists alike.

...D.Va IS a movie star !

The name of the skin itself is a cool reference.

Black Cat. Chat Noir in french.

There's a very famous parisian cabaret by that name.

And there's a very famous poster advertising that cabaret.

On the left, a poster we can see in Luna's cabaret as well as inside the bakery. On the right, a poster from 1896 advertising a tour with the Chat Noir cabaret's troupe of entertainers.

So yeah, with Blizzard, everything is either a clue for future releases or an easter egg.

They've been subtly hinting at a Paris map with a skin for an entire year and we completely missed it. Granted, it was kind of hard to guess. But it goes to show that they ALWAYS tease everything, months if not years in advance ! We're constantly surrounded by teases for things that won't come out for months or years and we don't even know it. Just how much is there out there for us to find ?!? Makes my head spin.

Wait

Hold up.

HOLD UP.

(from the PTR patch notes)

preeminent diva Luna

What if Hana picked the name D.Va because of her idol : Luna

...hot damn.

WHEN DOES IT END? Just how many layers are there?????

Blizzard, stahp. It's too much. We can't keep up !

That would explain so many things. D.Va is a nerd for Paris.

Phew. Wow. Okay then.

One more thing about Luna.

See the blue dot under her eye? It's called a "mouche" (a fly in english, because it's the size of a fly, kinda), it's a fake beauty mark made of fabric that was all the rage centuries ago in France and is still used in a few places, like cabarets for examples. It serves a specific purpose, depending on where you put it on your face/cleavage, it will have a different meaning. For example, in Luna's case, if you put it in the corner of the eye, it indicates to the people around you that you're the "passionate" type.

"Plus cruelle que la passion, n'éprouvant aucune compassion" she sings. More cruel than passion, showing no sign of compassion.

We get it, you're passionate x)

I'm passionate as well, about clues that is, and if you are too then you should join my discord server where we get real passionate about clues.

https://discord.gg/SkVvhJN

Everything is a clue. Me, you, them, everything. It never ends. Every new update, more clues. Let's find them all !

#overwatch #paris #new map #luna #cabaret #d.va #black cat skin

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anvthemaeyes · 6 years ago

Text

Picture Perfect Pt. 1/?

Trigger(s): Self-Harm- will begin and end with [**]-

Later chapters will include mature/explicit content - Happy readings :)

Josh Dun X Reader

2.3K Words

Today had been a good day… but It was your last class of the day and your brain was absolutely sick of cramming in useless information. Since this was also your favorite class you pushed yourself to stay awake. As of this moment your mind was in another place not caring for anything until you heard your name called. “Ms.Y/N.... you will be working with Joshua on this assignment” Your eyes scanned the room to find your teacher, then Joshua’s recognizable mess of red dyed hair. He looked at you wearing nothing but a friendly smile on his face. You were glad you could work with him this time around since he usually aced his photography projects . Although he seemed to be an anxious, fidgety boy on the outside you knew you could really find out a lot if you took time to talk to him. While juggling thoughts you began to plan parts of the project in your head until your teacher abruptly announced something. “I have assigned partners based on the limited knowledge I have about each of you from this year. Being things i've noticed about your personality or past projects. These are people i think you all will work well together. So let your creativity run wild with this final photo set and have fun.” She ended her sentence with a nod and a smile as she quietly walked back to her desk. You soon moved over next to Josh so you both could begin to brainstorm ideas, stting quite close to him so you could look at each other's ideas “So i kind of wanted to make the theme for this kind of about space and like our hopes and dreams and stuff and our future and x-files themed stuff ...if that’s alright” His voice was soft but quick. You could tell he was a bit nervous. “That sounds like a great idea. Maybe we can work on some stuff after school since my parents are on a business trip.We’ll be able to have the house to ourselves” You gave him a small grin to comfort him. He nodded and tore a small piece of paper from your notebook. “ Here’s my snapchat i guess. Just text me everything later. I’ll be out with Tyler and Jenna until around 5 so expect me then.” His voice was a little shaky. “Well Jenna actually invited me earlier so we’ll be seeing each other again later actually.” The bell rang so you waved goodbye to Josh and headed out.

You walked home and changed into a simple gray crop top, black leggings, and jean jacket seeing that you were feeling a bit more confident than you had previous days, so you wanted to take advantage. As you were pulling on your jacket your phone lit up on your dresser, it lit up with a snap from Jenna

Jenna: So it looks like we’ve got a double date tonight

Y/N: Oh hush, I just met Josh and it's not like Taco Bell is anything special

Jenna: I’m not the person to be talking to. Taco Bell was Tyler’s choice and itll be fun.See u in 5 :)

You walked outside just in time to see Jenna pulling in. You opened the door to see her smiling like a kid in a candy store. “What could you possibly want?” I said in an overly sarcastic tone. “Josh is gonna appreciate that outfit, now won't he” she couldn’t help but laugh after she said that. “ Tell me again why i decided to be friends with you”

Jenna found a parking spot and both of you soon got out. When you got out of the car you heard Tyler yell. “ How’s my favorite girl!?” You turned on you heel to them running into each other's arms. “ They’re so dramatic, it's only been a couple hours since school.” Josh laughed as he looked at the two love birds.

. Everyone sat for a few minutes as you began to feel a bit unsettled“ Hey Jen, I’m gonna head to the bathroom alright.” she gave a concerned look “ Alright. We’ll be right over here.”.You headed to the bathroom and locked the door even though it probably wasn’t the best decision for a public restroom

. You looked in the mirror and watched yourself as you took the jacket off, staring at your wrists that were lined with scars and more recent cuts that you tried to avoid making. The constant fear that you would get worse than your current state and Jenna would find out haunted you so you never knew why you continued with the habit you abhorred so much. You and Tyler were her first priority,and when she found out Tyler wasn’t doing great you saw the pain in her eyes. You couldn't put her through something like that again. You proceeded to fix your makeup and wipe away the tears that fell, making sure you looked presentable so no one would suspect a thing.

You turned the deadbolt on the door and walked out with a smile, spotting Tyler and Jenna sitting together so you could only assume your spot was next to Josh. Tyler was the first to speak up. “So what are you guys doing for the photography project in Smith” You glanced at Josh. “ Well we decided we wanted to something based on ‘I Want To Believe’-” Tyler cut you off “ Of course Josh chose something from the X-Files.” He rolled his eyes. “ Well what i was going to say was that we wanted to something based on like space but also ‘wanting to believe’ in like your hopes and dreams” Josh said it with a happy tone. You could tell how excited he was.“That sounds sick...So, it sounds a bit cliche but Me and Jen are doing one based on love and trust” You and Josh simultaneously fake gagged.

“So my house i guess?” you said looking down at your phone as you sat down in josh’s car. The inside was very nice and you noticed that he had some drumsticks had been thrown in the back. Surprisingly, sparking even more of your interest in the boy “Yeah. We can just stop by my house so we can get my camera and all my fancy lenses.” The singular comment created a more silent ride that only contained the radio playing various old rock songs that you recognized alongside the rain pouring down outside. You stared out the window until the car stopped at a large house that had a minivan parked in the driveway. “ On 3 we’ll run inside. 1...2..3!” You opened the door quick and grabbed his hand so he could pull you inside where there was a strong smell of coffee.You waved sheepishly at the woman leaning on the counter.. You assumed it was his mom. “ Oh, hi honey. Who is this lovely lady you brought with you?” a small blush appeared on his cheeks “ This is Y/N, I’m going to go work on a big photography project with her. I’m also going to her house to work on it, if that’s alright.” “ Of course just be careful out there. I don’t want you guys catching a cold” Once she finished her sentence Josh ran up the stairs. You followed him into his room where you saw a large drumset in the corner along with various posters. “ Hey do you want another jacket. That one looks a bit wet.” You looked down to see that you were practically dripping. Without thinking you took off your jacket and set it on a nearby desk.

“Oh my god” Josh’s tone became extremely concerned and you looked at him and his eyes looked like he just got shot in the heart. You swallowed hard realizing what he was witnessing. You froze and didn’t think to cover up. “Why? Just like Tyler. Why? Every time I meet a good person” Those words came out of his mouth with a sincerity and his head fell in his hands, with that a thousand responses came to mind but all you could do was fall apart. You sat down in the chair behind you and your face was in the palms of your hands as Josh knelt in front of you. “ We don’t know each other well but all I can say is that things will get better. You just have to believe that they will. Don’t let anything bring you to this point...please” You looked up at him and his eyes met yours. You saw his look of desperation and you could see he cared.

“Here, put on this jacket and let’s head to your house we’ll talk there.” you pulled the baby pink hoodie over your head,he gave you a soft smile and you both headed downstairs. “ Hey. Mom. I might be staying over at Y/N’s. I’ll let you know later tonight.”

As you finished rolling into the driveway you led Josh into your house and immediately switched the heater on so the house could be a bit more cozy. “Do you want to order some pizza or something before we get started with all of this?” “Yeah, i’m fine with whatever you get.” You snatched your phone from the counter and called the nearest place for delivery making sure they didn’t have to drive far in the rain. “Y/N I want you to know that if you need me i’m here. I know what it's like and i can help. Y-You’re too.. beautiful to be doing anything like that” The room stayed silent for a few seconds. The void being filled with the sound of your shoes stepping on the hardwood floor. You sat next to him and grabbed his hand. “It’s an extraordinary feeling knowing that I’m not alone.” Your eyes faltered between his eyes and the window. Finally settling into his innocent eyes, the edges beading with tears like that of earlier. Although this time, they were of joy knowing that he was helping someone find a purpose. The “moment” between the two of you was interrupted by the abnormally fast delivery man. Josh quickly rose to his feet and answered the door, handing the guy a $20 “Thanks man.Keep the change” Josh speed walked over so he could set the pizza down. “ i was holding the bottom of the box...it got hot.” His cheeks turned a light shade of crimson with awkwardness as he grabbed your TV remote and flipped on a movie. “So I have some stuff that we can use for backdrops and lighting in my room. I’ll set that stuff out later

-later that night-

“So go ahead and place that galaxy fabric down on the floor. Make sure its pulled tight so it doesn't have too many wrinkles. And then lay down.. Like that.. And hold the ukulele in your arms. Turn your head a bit so your glitter reflects and okay perfect i’ll take a few shots.. And noooow done with that shot.” Josh directed with ease as he sat on the top of the small ladder so he could get some overhead shots. The ideas spilled out of him with an ardent passion. The two of you both loved music and that is what helped with all of the ideas Josh was suggesting. You just went along with it, knowing that they would turn out beautifully alongside the other photos you and him had taken . “Hey you look a bit spaced out” Josh said as he laughed at his corny dad joke. You were glad to see he was becoming more comfortable around you. “Oh I’m fine. Getting cozy down here.” Josh assisted you in getting up as you both started looking through the pictures.”Crap! You need to call your mom it’s 7:00. You need to give her a heads up if you're staying over” “Oh you’re right, i'll be on your porch.” you sat alone in the dining room thinking. Something inside of you wasn’t right. You were beginning to fall for Josh and it was a fast fall. He was a sweet boy that had so much passion for life while also being so scared of it. He was just intriguing and you wanted more. To know more..to feel more. You snapped out of your dreamland when the door shut. “Good news! My mom says I can stay over. I just need to go grab some clothes and stuff for the night.” “Alright. I’m super excited.”

Josh walked in with a duffel bag and small tupperware in his hand. “Hey my mom made us some brownies for the night.” he said while dropping them on the counter. “Sweet but we need to get that last photo done. I thinks it’s the one of the both of us right?” he agreed “Yeah, good thing you kept your makeup on….. Oh i need to hang up the black sheet!” his feet thumped on the ground as he ran to the living room to get it along with some small thumbtacks. You held the sheet in place while he shoved the tacks into the wall. As you adjusted it he grabbed his snapback and a pair of drumsticks to tie together the whole ‘Space & Music’ concept. You knew this photo would turn out the best but would undoubtedly be the most awkward. “Okay Josh so were going to want to face each other and press our foreheads together..” He turned his body to you and put his face to yours. “Yeah like that and now just close your eyes with your sticks crossed” you gulped as the situation got a bit as it got more intimate for the two of you. You pressed the control for the camera and a string of flashes began going off “Y/N you’re a stunning girl, I’ve liked you since freshman year and i've fallen in love with you ever since.” He grabbed your chin and brought it to his face, lips pressing against yours. A smile appeared and you stopped the camera. His arms slowly made his way around you.

#josh dun #tyler joseph #Twenty One Pilots #fanfic #fanfiction #joshxreader #josh x reader #josh dun x reader #joshdunxreader #josh dun smut #highschool au #writing #chaptered #smut

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