#might have dunked more agents in alcohol

[ghostbsuter]

It was supposed to be a normal gala, everyone attending and maybe smuggle in Danny's official introduction to the public.

Danny didn't really mind, having been lectured and taught by Sam during the times of suffering they'd had to go through together.

Yet, since waking up, he'd had a bad feeling.

Good thing he listened to that bad feeling, considering the situation he is at right now.

(He had looked at Dami when he saw the agents pile in, handing him his glas and grabbing the bottle. He ignored the scowl in favor of shouting, "Viva la revolution!")

The comm crackles to life as he smashes one of the GIW agents with a bottle of champagne over the head, grabbing another and downing in one go.

He passes Jason, grinning like a feral cat and swiping another GIW agent to the ground.

(At that moment, the forced-to-be-here Jason watched wide eyed, a soft "What the fuck" leaving him as he held his glass.)

"Get him!" Multiple guns were pointed at the running teen. The guests and the waynes were pressed to the walls of the room and murmured.

Danny jumped, kicking the agent down and ducking from the shoots.

He's running to the tall windows, opening one and sending his farewells.

"You will never catch me alive!!"

And jumps out, a flurry of colourful laser shoots following.

The agents pile behind the window, shouting incomprehensibly.

(One of guests leans towards Mr. Wayne, sipping her champagne. "Say, Bruce, are you sure he isn't from Gotham City?"

The man in turn blinks, smiling charmingly despite the demon's fighting in his head at what's going on. "I... was pretty sure, maybe he just fits in?"

The Lady laughs, dumping her rest of the drink on a agent and making a haste retreat.

Bruce is only half sure that, that was someone he knew and just disguised.)

I kinda want danny who's been adopted by the wanyes to be schmoozing it up at a gala (because listen nothing is funnier than the image of Gotham elites being like oh whats this one's gimmick cus all the other's have something only for danny to just be a dude) only for like the giw to raid the place to get danny ( cus he's a ghost? Cus he's a Fenton? Who knows)

Only for danny to pick up a bottle chug it smash it and vault out a window shouting you'll never catch me alive

Now this increases his reputation with most Gothamites and rouges and absolutely worries the fuck out of the batfam why is the government chasing you danny and hiw are you so good at running

[hamliet]

RWBY and Alchemy: The Birds

So remember when I wrote about the seven metals of alchemy? Well... there are also five birds, and like with the metals, RWBY seems to be associating a specific character with a specific bird. 

Birds are important in alchemy because they were viewed as symbols of the spirit, as “mediat[ors] between the earthly realm and heaven world.” Adam MacLean states:

The alchemist in observing the flight of birds, recognised in them a picture of the human soul undergoing spiritual development. The soul, aspiring upwards, flying free of the restraints of the earth bound body seeking the heavenly light, only to have to return to the earthly consciousness again.

Black Stage: Raven/Crow (Raven and Qrow Branwen)

The raven/crow/jackdaw is a symbol of nigredo, the blackening. This stage corresponds to earth elementally and symbolize decay and death (obviously).

It’s no coincidence that Qrow and Raven are focused on in the first part of the story, and while they still are under their own arcs, Qrow has been largely separated from his nieces and others during the past few volumes. His nieces and the rest need to grow up rather than depend on Qrow. See Splendor Solis 20:

The children are portrayed as playing with a crow/raven among them, symbolizing their immaturity. However, the adults in the back of the image are in red, showing that they have grown up.

The theme of growing up and maturation is very present in Raven’s arc: namely, she never did. She fled from her adult responsibilities in abandoning her own daughter and ran back to her childhood home, her childhood promise. She also undergoes a putrefaction, a purification by fire in a sense, through her daughter. When Yang confronts her in the vault of the Spring Maiden, she shreds every excuse Raven has, pointing out that Raven is selfish, cowardly, and childish, happy to sacrifice others but never herself. The daughter, here, is the mature one, and thus Yang wins the lamp of knowledge: Yang gave Raven a dose of self-knowledge in the vault, and we see Raven making a small step afterwards via going to see Tai.

Qrow is better off than Raven in that he doesn’t entirely run from his responsibilities... except he does, just in a different way. He drinks to dull the pain, and as a result, Ruby ends up taking care of him on their journey instead of the other way around. Qrow himself acknowledges that he has childish beliefs; his semblance is a self-fulfilling prophecy rather than an actual power.

For the first time in a while I thought, maybe, maybe I could be around somebody -anybody- without my Semblance making it… complicated. And now, it just feels like a childish dream. Gone... like everybody else.

Just like his twin sister, he’s afraid of truly getting close to people, which RWBY seems to hold up as the pillar of maturity and development. I’m not saying Qrow is as negative a character as Raven (he isn’t at all), but he is still struggling to grow up aside his nieces and their companions. In fact, this will be A Thing for all the characters who relate to birds.

The crow is often depicted as dying inside a flask:

Which could be seen as alluded to by Qrow’s alcoholism. Through not facing the darker parts of himself and not growing up, Qrow is killing himself. Fortunately, he’s been making some steps in the right direction.

Rainbow Stage: Peacock (Cinder Fall)

Look the girl has feathers on her outfit that are very reminiscent of peacocks feathers... without the eyes. We’ll get there. The feathers are described by CRWBY as “iridescent” which is a term alchemists employed historically to refer to the rainbow stage. 

Post-Blackening, the products of the great work are scattered in a variety of colors, colors that are all at war with each other. To quote Carl Jung,

It is commonly said of the peacock that it has an angel‘s feathers, a devil’s voice, and a thief’s walk.

NB: arrows are often used as symbols in part of this stage, and bows and arrows are weapons Cinder is, er, known for using too. 

Jung also comments this, which fits with Cinder being both a Maiden, associated with the seasons, and with her being an agent for change in the story as a whole:

Just as the Queen Mother or the mother of the gods grants renewal, so the peacock annually renews his plumage, and therefore has a relation to all the changes in nature.

The peacock is actually a flightless bird: post death in the Blackening, it cannot fly, but in order to proceed through the rest of the stages, it has to gather the disparate colors (ie parts of itself) in order to renew itself (yes, they’re linked to renewal and rebirth).

However, Cinder is not doing this. She received many call-outs, and has severed every bridge people have attempted to build with her. If anything, post volume 8, she seems more lost than ever. So what could be an impetus for her to do this? Well...

Why are her peacock-esque feathers missing their eyes?

The ancient Greek legend of Argus (which is a place in RWBY’s world; the place where Ruby hears Maria’s story of her silver eyes and asks Maria to train her in using her silver eyes) is that there is an immortal monstrous woman with snakes for legs named Echidna who they keep hidden in a cave, but she keeps finding ways to kill humans, until Argus finally kills her. After this, Hera has Argus guard a goddess with his hundred eyes, but then Mercury/Hermes/Thoth kills Argus, and Hera casts his eyes into peacocks’ tails to remember him. I wouldn’t read toooo much into this, but I do think it would be very, very fitting for Cinder to receive a call-out from her “kids”: Emerald and Mercury, the latter of whom is an allusion to Hermes/Mercury and the former of whom might be an allusion to Thoth. Until Cinder has been confronted by Mercury and Emerald, she won’t truly be able to see. 

I have said before that I think Ruby will use her silver eyes to save Cinder from being consumed by the worst parts of herself (as literally symbolized in the Grimm taking her over). The decay of the Blackening is washed away to reveal the color of the peacock’s iridescent tail, and so both a confrontation to get Cinder to face the worst of herself, and then pity shown to her by someone who has no reason to be kind to purify her (look, it’s a term in alchemy, and Ruby has been described as “the embodiment of purity”) of the Grimm will probably be the impetus for Cinder to change.

White Stage: Swan/Dove (Robyn Hill, maybe Winter Schnee?)

Robyn’s emblem is a white bird.

The swan symbolises the dissolving of impurity into ash. In Volume 8, when Robyn and Qrow are freed from prison, ash falls everywhere.

Like the peacock, a swan is a bird that does not fly. Robyn is grounded in Mantle, rather than Atlas. After the gathering of opposites in the Peacock’s Tail, the dove/swan “reconciles and unites opposite substances,” according to Lyndy Abraham. Swans swim along the surface of water, while the true colors are concealed beneath; swans dunk their heads underwater, which symbolizes a person diving deep into dissolution and purification. Robyn’s Semblance is also about this: it allows Robyn to sense their true colors and intentions, rather than what they attempt to protect at the surface.

I am also wondering if Winter is somehow connected to this as well, because of the appearance of white birds in her semblance. 

The focus on transformation that is part of the life cycle of a swan (ugly ducking to beautiful bird) is also perhaps symbolic of Winter’s internal development; this volume, she learned to fly on her own, growing up and shedding the need for father figures completely. She’s now able to fly (literally) freely and to save her people. But we will see; the connection is less strong here. 

Yellow Stage: Pelican (Hazel Rainart)

Due to the previous three all having links to a maiden, I wonder if the summer maiden will somehow be connected to pelican imagery, but for now, my inclination is to say that Hazel displays traits of the pelican as well, though there may be another person associated at some point. 

The pelican’s notable accomplishment is to stab its own breast and nourish its young with its own blood. It is a symbol of sacrifice. Hazel sacrifices himself to save the children: Emerald, Oscar, Jaune, Yang, and Ren. He does so by stabbing himself in the chest with numerous dust types, combining all sorts of elements (key to alchemy).

Red Stage: Phoenix (?)

This one remains to be determined. It could well could be Cinder (I mean, look at her name), plus the bird characters have thus far been adults like she is and possibly have a maiden association. 

But it could also be Mercury, because of his association with fire  and specifically with burning his “nest” as the phoenix does. When Cinder and Emerald find him, he’s burned his home. 

Plus, I think it’s pretty obvious Mercury will either get his semblance back or develop a new one, and it’s most likely going to be related to flying given his emblem and allusion. It would also fit with his having prosthetic legs: he doesn’t need them fixed, and his losses don’t make him any less human. It’s always been within his soul to fly. 

Ooooor the phoenix could be connected to Oscar, because of its association with the sun. It’s really too soon to say. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[guiltycorp]

Playing Genshin for a couple of weeks now and I have some thoughts about Mondstadt, its seeming prosperity, and criminal elements!! Also dunking on Diluc a little bit lol. I'm not even going to touch hilichurls, they're probably the one issue I expect the game to come back to in time! They seem to be an intelligent race that was cursed and so we might get some sad backstory and realize that we've been assholes to them, not 100% sure but hopefully. Other than hilichurls and the Fatui (and yeahhh so fun to make russians into villains, im guessing it's for attracting the american audience or something... at least the characters are interesting enough), there are also Treasure Hoarders, who in the archive are mainly described as workers who lost their jobs or some other manner of poor people who turned to looting and crime out of desperation. And yet the angle is that 'thieving is always morally wrong'. Somebody didn't read Les Mis, I guess! Another note, there seems to be a weird gameplay and story segregation where we as the Traveler do lots of looting and treasure hunting ourselves only to be commended for it. But I digress. My actual point is that interestingly enough those elements of worldbuilding come together pretty well when you look at the city itself!   In Mondstadt it is most difficult to become a small business owner, made all the more obvious when compared to Liyue's wealth of shops, services, and traveling traders (Liyue has its own baggage of problems which tbh seem more serious to me but that's another topic). It's just not the most profitable occupation! Almost everyone we see out on the streets does their own resource supply, production, and service. Naturally, this means that those people don't earn enough to hire their own workers. In turn, that means that there are no jobs to be found in those places. So, where are all the jobs? For that we have the Dawn Winery, the Knights of Favonius, and the option to leave for Springvale to become a hunter or go to a different country altogether. The winery is described as the city's most powerful industry both for local consumption and export, but how does it actually treat its workers? Well, for example there's Patton who accidentally broke a bottle of expensive wine and is now basically an indentured servant to Diluc. He says that even if he worked without any breaks he still would need 48 years to pay off his debt. We can meet his daughter near Venti's statue who has to play by herself because her father is always working. Does that really seem like freedom to you? There's also Guy's father who works at the winery itself and can't afford to rest even when he is heavily sick and old. These are the worst examples for sure but others also have their own smaller problems like Charles who confides in us that he often feels tired and only takes nights off when Diluc is in a mood to tend the bar himself etc.  It is kind of telling that we don't have the option of engaging with their problems and we can't really talk to Diluc about it either. For all that he defends the city each night, he shows no interest in defending his own workers from his business's predatory tactics. To say nothing of the great damage he does to the adult populace of the city, always supplying alcohol and tempting people with deals and sales when there are already too many drunkards even among the named characters. When the opposing tavern (which also only has Diona for a bartender even when her own father has alcohol dependence) chose to present a non-alcoholic beverage during the holiday Angel’s Share doubled down on alcohol. And it doesn't even have snacks? This one bit was probably just for joke purposes, but tbh it's pretty dangerous to drink without any snacks at all, it makes sense why people get so heavily drunk in the first place. Note that Diluc himself doesn’t drink, showing good judgment when it comes to himself. Meanwhile the only person Diluc seemingly has no problem cutting off is Kaeya and it’s not obvious whether that’s out of concern or pettiness. Nobody is cutting off Nimrod who is ruined by his addiction! Now this is probably the core reason why Nimrod turned to crime, and I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that he and his wife are dependant on Kaeya who at the very least knows to appreciate his informants. Kaeya himself is also a gleeful enabler, by the way, which makes sense considering his uh.. everything. And his upbringing at the Dawn Winery didn’t hurt, no surprise why he’s so keen on wine himself. He might be shrewd and oh so clever when it comes to getting information in taverns, but his story details and voice lines confirm that there actually is a problem even if we don’t know the full scope of it.  Now, the Knights of Favonius? Aside from being corrupt in the past they happen to hire minors (we can read that in their handbook) whom they don't even pay. What's that, free labor for the simplest of tasks? Makes sense why some of the adult knights laze about if all the work gets done by minors or the more focused and accomplished senior knights with Visions. That's a wonky structure for sure. Guy tells us that he became a squire at 16 and still has the boring job of guarding the back gates despite repeatedly showing signs of great dissatisfaction. I wouldn't be surprised if he betrays us later or something, honestly. Maybe Kaeya is preparing him for double agent work, who knows. Right now he has no opportunities for climbing the career ladder to take better care of his sick father, stuck in a pointless job for months. And that's a talented and focused young man! what about regular folk? Well. In the end, regular people have several options. They can give up and overwork themselves while spending nights looking for coins in the wishing fountain to try and scrape enough for their sister’s medicine. They can go to the Adventurers' Guild which has highly dangerous commissions with the most profitable ones taken on by Fischl and other professionals, hardly a dependant job for a regular person. There’s also Church which we know very little about. Likely it's dependant on taxes and donations and it’s the one organization that cares about the orphans of the city (no, keeping Klee in solitary doesn’t count as caring, Knights of Favonius!). There’s Springvale for hunters, farmers and chefs, a difficult lifestyle to maintain when the hunting grounds are in one of the Four Winds’ domains with strangely intelligent wolves.  And then there’s the other more accessible and obvious option! You guessed it, it’s crime!!  And there it is, the reason why there's such a big problem with bandits and overworked people in Mondstadt :)  Honestly after writing all that down, if I were to RP a normal person in Mondstadt I’d try to get into the Treasure Hoarders guild at like 5 years old I think. Better than standing around watching random people kill my pigeons anyway. Tbh this is less of a 'makes you think huh!!' take and more of a commendation towards the writers of the game. They obviously have a more conservative outlook if they're so keen on condemning the thieves who have to steal in order to survive, but the world itself makes a lot of sense. It makes the game a lot of fun to explore.

[drethanramslay]

High

Pairing: M! Sam Dalton x MC( Malaika Agarwal)

Word count: 4.7 K words

Masterlist

WARNING: DIRTY TALK, SMUT AND NS*W!! IF YOU CLICK ON THE READ MORE TAG,THEN YOU ARE CONSENTING THAT YOU ARE 18+ AND ARE CAN VIEW SUCH WORKS 

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Songs: I see red by Everybody Loves an Outlaw and High by Dua Lipa and Whethan

forgive me if there are any mistakes

Coming to the engagement party was a bad idea.

Malaika knew from the very beginning that working for one of the hottest and most elligible CEO would have been a disaster. She knew that kissing him against the kitchen counter of his own home would have been catastrophic. His deft fingers running and teasing against the heat of her pussy in the backseat of the limo was problematic.

Don't even get her started on the blunder that happened on the dancefloor. She still remembered the way they were close to each other in borderline obscene ways.

But lately, these series of bad decisions have been one of the happiest moments of her life.

Yes you can call me boo boo the fool. Malaika thought to herself as she emptied the contents of another glass of champagne, to drown her misery and boredom.

The soft waltz music died down and she heard the feedback from the mic. She looked up and saw barbie doll standing there with her perfect nails and her perfect life.

"Thanks for coming to our fabulous party. This night is a dream come true for us. Sam is a dream come true for me." She raised her flute towards Sam's direction and fluttered her eyelashes.

Malaika scoffed. Is she for real? Did her fake eyelash poke her eyeballs that she if fluttering them like that?

Malaika was never one to be a bitch, hell she wouldn't even hurt a fly unintentionally, but the sexual frustration, her own feelings and the smooth champagne is not a good combination.

"This is so boring." Robin piqued as he took a sip of his whiskey.

"Ugh... Hard same. Is she always like this?"

"Yep. This is very serious business for Sofia. I heard that she even hired a ghost writer for the toast."

"Wow. That's pathetic. I mean how hard is it to write a toast for the person you 'love'?" Malaika asked, making air quotes with her free hand on the word love.

Especially when that person is Sam Dalton.

"It's only easy if you remotely like the person."

Sophia continued her monologue. " Same and I have been dating for only..." She proceeded to check her notes.

"Are you kidding me? Who the hell forgets when you start dating?"

"I know right? She even has her 'I love you' written down too. Imagine what we could've tricked her into saying if we'd swapped out her cards." Robin said with a mischievous glint in his eye.

Malaika giggled. "I can definitely see that happening."

As Sofia continued to drone on about how much she loved him and yada yada, Robin provided her with whispered commentary which had her laughing so hard that tears streamed down her face.

Thank god for waterproof mascara.

They continued bullshiting each other when from the corner of her eye, she saw Sam step up near Sofia and kiss her cheek before proceeding to give his speech.

"Thank you Sofia and thank you to all of you for coming here to join us in celebrating our love."

Robin turned around to see him and scoffed, not even lowering his voice. "More like an arrangement."

Malaika's eyes widened. "Shhh Robin. I am not getting into trouble because of you."

"But you wouldn't mind getting in trouble for other reasons?" He asked cheekily.

A smirk danced on her lips. "Maybe..?"

Sam continued his speech, tears glinting in his eyes. "As you all know, I lost my first wife about five years ago... and for a long time, didn't think I would ever meet someone else who made me feel the way she did."

His eyes locked with hers and Malaika's breath hitched in her throat.

"But now I feel like I have a second chance at happiness again. I finally met someone who gets me. Someone I can't stop thinking about. Someone who lights up the whole room with her passion."

Sam... Are you even talking about Sofia at this point?

Malaika was frustrated by the 'hot and cold' behaviour Sam showed. One moment he is all over her saying things like 'I want to taste you' and then the next moment say that 'we can't'.

Malaika understood where he was coming from. She understood that this game they were playing was forbidden and dangerous but Malaika was never one to shy away from the adrenaline rush.

And on top of it, he is so possesive about me that he goes wild like a rogue buffalo when he sees me with another guy. Malaika snorted rolling her eyes.

"Awww I love you too boo-bear." Sofia squealed as she hugged him. Sam picked her up and twirled her around not letting go of her.

"Passion is not a word I would use for Sofia." Robin mused turning back to look at Malaika.

"...right." A frown tugged on her lips and and the longer she stared at her arms around Sam, the dizzier she felt.

If he thinks I am some weak bitch who will just sit on the sidelines and cry, then he is wrong.

She turned to Robin, who starts to make another snide remark but stopped short when he saw the determined look on her face.

A small smirk made its way on to his lips. "What? Finally want to join in on the fun? 'Cause you know I am down for anything."

The adrenaline, anger and alcohol surged through her as she came up with a plan.

Was it stupid? Yes.

Was that going to stop her? Nope.

As Sam continued his toast, Malaika turned her full attention to Robin. She placed her hand on Robin's chest and his eyes widened.

"What would you say to upping the ante on your little game with Sam? See how far we can really push him? All in good fun of course."

Robin gave her a thoughtful side-eye while poking his tongue against the inside of his lip. Finally, he chuckled.

"Consequences be damned. Let's do it."

In a fluid motion, he wrapped his hand around her waist and she leaned into him, which did not go unnoticed by Sam.

"As I was saying, Sofia is an incredible woman..."

Robin gave a grin. "Forget Sofia, you're the easiest woman to pretend-flirt with I've ever met."

"Back at ya, my partner-in-crime."

"I am hurt. I thought we could be partners and mor-"

"Shhh Robin, we are on a mission." She lightly slapped his chest.

Robin rolled his eyes. "And pray tell me what is the name of the mission?"

Without thinking Malaika blurted out. "Salty Sam."

Both of them snickered and Malaika punched him playfully. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Sam struggling to get a visual on what was happening between the two.

Sam continued his speech. "But, uh, what I like most about Sofia is... ugh, move, you big oaf."

"What?!" Sofia's smile melted into a scowl.

"Whoops." Robin said with zero guilt.

Realisation dawned on Sam, as he struggled to fix the mess he made. "I said... 'you're smooth as merlot'? Because you've always had such sophisticated taste in everything...? Except men, I suppose."

The crowd chuckled at the joke and Robin shakes his head. "Always manages to stick the landing."

"Let's take it up a notch, shall we?" Malaika asked with a wicked grin.

"I like the sound of that. Didn't know you were so bad."

Malaika opened her mouth to reply when Sam tapped on the mic and sent a death glare Robin's way which sent a shiver down her spine.

"A-hem. I know some of you are busy smooth-talking your 'flavor of the week', but all eyes need to be up here, thanks."

Malaika's eyes narrowed. How fucking dare he, that entitled jackass?

Robin raised a hand in apology as he shifted to face the couple again, but his lips found her ear.

"Uh-oh we are making the boss mad."

"Oops we did it again." Malaika chuckled under her breath.

"But do you know what will make Sam go completely berserk with jealousy?"

"Enlighten me, O' wise one."

"If he saw us leave together."

"Damn Robin... You really went for the throat, huh?"

"That's how we prey Malaika."

"As much as that fulfills your wet dreams, I actually have thought out what we need to do." Malaika reached and smoothly snatched the glass out of Robin's hand.

"Hey! Give it back." Robin reached for it again and he was dangerously close, his cologne surrounding her. Her eyes darted and met furious hazel ones, staring back at her. Sam's speech was long forgotten and his eyes were solely focused on her... And Robin.

That might teach you not to fuck around with me.

"Now for the winning stroke... Kiss me."

Robin's eyes widened and his jaw was on the ground. "Seriously? Now?" He whispered back.

"Don't you want to?"

"Hell yeah." With that he pulled her body flush against his and crashed his lips to hers. Malaika grabbed his shoulders to steady herself.

Damn... Robin is a good kisser. Malaika thoughts as he deepened the kiss.

They pulled back and Malaika expected Sam to be on the verge of an exploding, ready to bark at them for the unsolicited PDA, but he wasn't.

He just smirked and the glint in his brown orbs making her wary. He reached for Sofia and pulled her into a passionate kiss, his eyes not leaving Malaika's shocked ones.

Oh...

Robin was calling her name but it sounded far away, as if her head was dunked in a bucket of cold water, the reality chilling into her bones.

She should look away or close her eyes to stop the pain, but she just could not. He could see the pink of his tongue entering Sofia's mouth and she saw red.

"I think I had enough excitement for the night." She mumbled as she got out of Robin's embrace and reached for her champagne flute, and raised it towards Sam's direction, an indication that he won.

Congratulations asshole, you stomped all over the remains of my dignity and heart.

She set the glass down and headed towards the bathroom so that she could have a breakdown in peace.

"Hey you okay?" Robin asked, catching her by the elbow. Malaika managed to out on a smile and patted his hands. "Just peachy. I will just go and get fresh." She turned on her heels and walked.

But even as she walked away, she could feel a pair of eyes staring at her leaving form.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She found the restroom like a oasis in the desert. It was completely empty and she finally was alone after hours of torture.

"It's okay.... You are going to be fine... Breathe in, breathe out." Her manicured nails were clutching the counter, trying to recentre herself. She looked up to see her reflection staring back at herself.

She was greatful for her russet brown skin for it could hide the bags underneath her eyes. Her onyx brown eyes looked tired due to the juggling between her work and her feelings. The only thing which had survived the entire ordeal was her dark hair with light brown undertones.

Under the soft lights of the restroom, her short baby blue dress popped against the deep bronze of her skin.

My life maybe falling apart but at least I look hot.

In midst of her washing her hands she saw Sofia strut in and stand in front of the basin beside her.

There are literally six other basins she could stand and do her gaudy makeup but no. Ever learnt of personal space lady? Malaika rolled her eyes as she continued washing her hands.

The quicker I finish, the faster I can yeet myself out of her highness' presence. Malaika chanted in her head as she reached for the tissue paper.

"He isn't going to love you."

Huh?

Malaika turned towards Sofia, with an incredulous expression in her face.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"I think you are reading too much into this."

"Please. You don't become the most successful heiress to a Multi-Million dollar Company by being an airhead." Sofia said as she reached for her face powder.

"I think the spotlight under which you stand has blinded you." Malaika said as she reached for her lipstick, coating a nice layer of Burgundy on her lips.

Sofia stopped what she was doing and turned towards her, a patronizing smile on her face. "Aw, aren't you cute. You think I didn't see that little game you had going on?"

"I was with Robin, what the hell are you talking about?" Malaika clenched her hand around the lipstick, annoyed by the fact that this bitch could see through her intentions. She maybe fuming on the inside but she had the perfect poker face on the outside.

"Oh naive Malaika. You both were so obvious that even the paparazzi noticed it. But, if you want to be a petulant child and continue living in the state of denial, then okay."

Malaika clenched her jaw. I am so close to yanking of her hair extensions. 

Sofia capped her lipstick and placed it in her clutch. She turned towards Malaika. "See, I don't give a damn about what's going on between you and Sam. But, I have known Sam for a long time and I have known that you are nothing but a momentary infatuation."

Sofia placed her left hand on her waist and the diamond ring glittered an underlying threat.

"Bask in the attention all you want, I am not saying no. But at the end of the day he is marrying me and it's my bed he going to be sleeping in."

Sofia walked up to Malaika and stared her down. Malaika matched the intensity of her stare, her height giving her the advantage of matching the intimidating glare.

"I usually get what I want, be it the good way or the crook's way. Nothing will ever stop me from getting what I want. So go, do your job of a nanny because that's all you will ever be. Ciao!"

Sofia turned on her heels and she walked out of the bathroom, leaving Malaika pissed to another level.

That bitch...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Wow... Pardon my language but that bitch!" Robin exclaimed as they stood near the window, in the hallway talking.

"That's exactly what I said!! See, I fucking topped in biochemistry in NYU. I'm financially independent- I mean as independent as I can be. I already have job offer but it starts after six months and that too, in LA. So that's why I took up this job of a nanny so that I could save up enough money to move, pay off my student loans and have time to work on my thesis."

Robin put his hand on Malaika's shoulder. "I know it's hard M. Hell, I am called Sam's assistant when I am literally the Chief operating officer."

"Fuck the rich. Fuck capitalism. I hate this. I’m sorry for being such a Debbie downer," Malaika grumbled as she crossed her arms and stared at her feet.

"No its okay... I understand. If you need to talk, I'm here okay?"

"What would I do without my partner-in-crime?"

"Probably die of boredom?" They both chuckled. Robin put an arm around Malaika and squeezed her into a side hug. Malaika returned the gesture and laid her head on his shoulder as they stared out of the 40th floor.

"Things will get better M."

"You don't know that." Pessimism ringing clear in her voice.

"But I know you and I know that you are hell of a fighter... And that's why I know you'd be great in bed."

Malaika groaned and pushed him. "Dude, read the room."

Robin laughed and something caught his eye, causing the laughter to die down. "Malaika, Sam is here."

"A'ight, that's my cue to leave. Once again, thank you Robin." Malaika started fast walking down the hallway. There was a deserted service elevator which she could use to get away undetected.

"Malaika!" Sam called out.

Fuck my luck. Malaika cursed as she stopped in her tracks.

"Back off Sam." Robin spoke up stepping in his way.

"Robin, can you kindly fuck off. You are the last person I want to talk to after the stunt you pulled. What the hell were you doing with Malaika?"

"Why does it matter to you?!"

"She is not one of your dates. I won't let you take advantage of her just because she is vulnerable."

Is he on crack?

"Who said he is taking advantage of me?" Malaika angrily spoke up, her eyes blazing with anger.

That seem to motivate Robin because he stood up taller and spoke back. "Yeah, calm down, Mr Big Shot. I'm cleaning up your mess."

Shock coloured his face which infuriated her further. "What is that supposed to mean?"

The sheer audacity to pull the Pikachu face...

"Sam I- I just can't with you. Robin, good bye! I had a lovely time." She threw a smile Robin's way and he waved back at her.

"Malaika, wait up!"

This time she rushed into the open lift and pressed the close button multiple times before it started closing. Sam was still pretty far away so she let out a sigh of relief.

Thank fuc-

The door opened and Sam entered.

Malaika dragged a hand down her face, groaning internally. She was already in a bad mood and she didn't have the bandwidth to deal with mixed signals at the moment.

The next time I meet like luck character, she and I are going to have a nice chat.

"Malaika." Sam said, his eyes focused on her.

"That's my name."

Sam clenched his jaw in annoyance, and Malaika crossed her arms stubbornly. She looked the other way but from the corner of her eye, she saw how the lights of the lift casted shadows on his face, making him look sharp and angular, as if he was cut from granite.

"See Malaika I just wanted to know if you are okay."

"I am in the utmost state of bliss." The words sarcastically dripped of her lips and Sam's eyes narrowed.

"Oh. So is this how we are going to go about this?"

"What's there to go about? I am fucking done and I need to sleep."

"Fine." Sam tuned around and pressed the emergency stop button on the lift and it smoothly came to a stop.

Malaika gripped on to the railing out of surprised and threw a dirty look towards Sam.

"We are not leaving until we talk." Sam said as he stood opposite her. The lift was four feet wide, and the fact that they were in a metal cage, all alone was really distracting Malaika.

"You want to talk? Fine. Let's talk about how I don't need you to protect me. It's a party, and I'm a young, single woman. I could be up to anything or fucking anyone, and it wouldn't be any of your business!"

"I know that but-" Sam said in a perplexed voice.

"Do you though? You hired me to be your nanny, not a girlfriend. That's Sofia's job."

Sam winced. "I..I know that too."

Malaika stepped forward and poked a finger into his chest. "One minute, you pull me onto the dance floor, then the next, I'm watching your engagement speech!"

Sam stood to his towering height, glaring down at her. "And I can't stop thinking about that dance or about the way you were grinding that ass on my dick. Do you know how long it took me to cool down?"

If it were any other day, Malaika’s brain would have short-circuited with the words he spoke, but not today. Today she was pissed, hurt and ready to beat the hell out of someone.

She grew up in fucking Brooklyn, she isn't some weak bitch you can trample on.

Another jab.

"Here is your big fucking chance to talk so go ahead and let me have it! Tell me how ‘sorry’ you are or how ‘wrong’ this is."

"Don't provoke me, Malaika." Sam spoke through clenched teeth.

She didn't care. Another step closer, another jab to the chest.

"Why did you really want me here tonight? Did you want me to be here and see her all over you? To see you playing tonsil hockey game with her? Sorry sir, but that is not covered in my pay-check."

She raised her finger to jab him again but this time Sam grabbed her finger tightly.

Wonder how would that feel aro-

Not the time brain. Malaika chided her inner thot.

"No of course not! I just- I just wanted you to stay. For once in my life, I wasn't thinking ahead."

The alcohol and the day's frustration had caught up to her and she didn't care if she sounded snarky and rude. He already deals with Sofia’s jabs, so how could I be any worse? "Wow, what an earth shattering revelation. Yeah well, let me make it easy for you and quit."

"Don't fucking do that." Sam rushed.

Malaika sighed, leaning her head in his broad strong shoulders. She looked up and spoke. "Face the facts. It'd be a lot easier for both of us if we don't have to see each other every day."

"I'm trying Malaika..." He said as his touch ran down her arms, changing from hard restraint to a gentle caress, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

Even though I am angry, how does this man manage to get butterflies in my stomach.

"Every day, I'm fighting not to let myself get carried away. I'm fighting not to touch you. I'm fighting not to do this..." He buried his head into her neck and placed a hot, wet kiss at her jugular, knowing that it's the one spot that drives her absolutely mad.

"...or do this..." His hands slid from her waist to her ass, groping them. A gasp left her lips and her eyes fluttered shut, feeling the sensation of his lips kissing the crook of her neck, his hands wandering and sqeezing and his growing erection against her stomach.

"...and I definitely missed doing this." He pulled her hair, forcing her to look at him as he crashed his lips against hers, an avalanche of desire unleashed.

Malaika returned the kiss with equal fervour. She reached to loop her hands around his neck to pull him so close that she was literally painted on him.

But that wasn't enough for Sam.

He pushed her against the wall, his broad and sculpted body completely covering her frame. His hands unhooked her dainty ones and pushed them against the wall, locking them in place.

"I want to fuck you until I can feel that sweet little pussy clenching around my cock." He whispered in her ear, before catching her earlobe in his teeth and tugging.

Malaika let out a moan her stomach involuntarily clenched, desire lighting up each inch of her body, as if a matchstick was thrown into a pool of gasoline.

"Keep making those noises. Can't wait to make you scream my name until your throat is sore." Sam spoke in a husky voice, his hand letting her go and reaching for the zip on the back of her dress.

Malaika reached to help him but he just pushed her hand away. "Just relax and let me do what I'm good at." Sam started kneeling down, and that sent her imagination into overdrive.

"And what would that be?" Malaika asked, her eyes wanton as he unclasped her bra, showing off her plump breasts.

Sam then proceeded to remove her soaked panties, and holding them near his nose to inhale her scent before snapping his dark eyes towards her.

"To devour you. To worship you. To make you come hard."

Malaika clenched her thighs and Sam stood up, smirking at the effect his dirty talk had on her. He stood back up, his hand running along her smooth calf, thighs and stopped to rest on her hipbone, gently massaging it.

His other hand cupped her face, his thumb running along the cushion of her bottom lip. "Is that what you want, baby girl?"

Malaika was an outgoing woman and rarely found herself tongue tied but here she was, at a complete loss of words.

Oh god...

So instead of saying, she showed. Her hand reached for his erection, and palmed him through his trousers. Sam's eyes darkened and he descended on her mouth with such passion which had her breathless.

And as if that wasn't enough, his fingers found their way to her pussy, which was throbbing with a heartbeat of it own.

It was a fight for dominance. A fight to see who could get the other to bend at their will. Malaika's hand flew through the buttons of his tacky suit, exposing his strong, broad chest with sparse chest hair. Sam hooked her leg against his hip so that he could get better access to her, his hands running along the smooth supple skin.

Malaika's head rolled and rested on the cool surface of the elevator, lost in the pleasure of his fingers rubbing her clit. She was so wet and she knew that his hands would be dripping with her arousal.

Two digits entered her and her back arched against the wall, her breasts making contact with his naked chest.

"Do you feel it Malaika? Do you feel how wet you are for me? Do you know how sexy you look right now?" He spoke lowly, his voice husky with desire.

"Yes sir." Malaika choked out as his thumb brushed the hood of her sensitive clit.

"I'm... Gonna come." She panted out which was a mistake because he withdrew his fingers.

"Asshole." She sweated.

"And what about it? You wanted to quit didn't you? I did it-" Sam was interrupted by Malaika grabbing his ugly floral tie and pulling him towards her.

"With all due respect, fuck me, hard. Don't hold back one bit otherwise I swear to god, I won't let you come."

"Turn around, baby girl." She obeyed, almost giddy that she was finally gonna be dicked down.

He grabbed her wrists which made her yelp. He took his tie and tied it around them, securing them in their place. It was just perfect, not too tight nor too loose.

Sam moved her hair to one side placed hot fiery kissed on her neck, lapping up the moisture accumulated. "Look at you... What a delectable sight. You will forget your fucking name after I'm done with you."

"I'm holding you to it sir."

"The more you use sir, the more it feels like an insult." Sam said, his erection digging into her backside

"You do you sir."

Spreading her legs, she heard Sam's belt unbuckling, which made her excited and increase her yearning to feel him. The moment Sam saw her twitching, he slapped her ass which caused her to let out a breathless moan. He massage the spot where he spanked her leading her to get impatient.

What’s the fucking hold up?

"Stop fucking standing there with your junk in your hand you- holllyy shitt." She was interrupted as she felt Sam's dick rub against her walls, coating them with her arousal.

Grabbing her waist tightly, he entered and Sam rumbled in approval, enjoying the way her walls clenched and unclenched around him.

"You feels so good Malaika. Almost heavenly."

Malaika pressed her forehead against the cool surface and let out a moan, a flux of pain and pleasure cursing through her veins.

"Oh lord..." She moaned.

He moved slowly initially, so that she could get used to his size. But once Malaika started get fidgety and begged him to fuck him harder, it awoke something in him. Something primal and something which motivated him to snap his hips and pummel into her.

In. Out. In. out. A steady punishing rhythm was set which had Malaika crying, from ecstasy. Sam's hand reached to grab her breast and roll her nipple, making them erect and heavy with need. His other hand reached to rub her which had her screaming due to the override of stimulation.

"Please don't stop... pounding my pussy... please." Malaika begged, feeling her climax coming closer and closer as she soared above.

Sam grunted, his lower spine tingling and his abs clenching, his need to release fueling his motions further. His thrusts became shorter and faster, which was just enough to push them over the edge.

Malaika screamed, failing to be quiet while Sam moaned out loud, and sunk his teeth into her shoulder to muffle it. The bliss lasted for what seemed like eternity, both of them clutching on to each other as they slowly floated down from cloud nine. Malaika was leaning against the wall of the elevator, her legs feeling like jelly.

Sam unbound her hands and pulled put of her, causing her to wince at the sudden emptiness. He turned her towards him, hugging her in his muscular arms. He ran his fingers through her head as Malaika sought solace in his embrace, her breath becoming normal after a while.

Sam kissed her forehead. "We will try, Malaika."

"Yeah... I am not giving up on you Sam."

"Thank you for having faith in me baby girl. Its a mess but, I am not giving up on you either.” Malaika smiled, feeling some sort of peace in a very long time.

okay so um yeah... here is your flask of holy water

this would have to be the filthiest thing I have ever written sike

I hope you liked it heheheh

like, comment, reblog and let me know what you think <3

[sopwithwhump]

The River

More Agents of SHIELD whump... this time Fitz gets into a car accident and falls into a river!

“Well, since you’re going to be here for a while, someone needs to get groceries,” Agent Dalton said after completing his tour of a small SHIELD facility in Oregon. Agents Coulson, May, Simmons, Fitz, and Johnson were all there for an assignment. It was disguised as a ranger station that was restricted to the public, and sat in the trees, just a mile down a dirt road from the highway.

           “Sure, Agent Dalton,” Jemma Simmons replied, “who’s going to do it?” The rest of Coulson’s team, who had settled in to the couches in the common area they were in, went silent.

           Agent Dalton chuckled. “Well, we usually make the visitors do the shopping…”

           “Sounds good. Fitz, make a grocery list with Dalton and then go out to the nearest supermarket,” Melinda May commanded.

           “But… but… but…” replied Fitz.

           “Sorry, Fitz, May has spoken,” said Coulson. Fitz sighed and stood up, following Dalton to the kitchen counter where he got out a piece of paper and a pen and handed it to Fitz.

           “By the way, I hope you all enjoy your time here at SHIELD’s Douglas Fir Station!” Dalton cheerfully exclaimed. Fitz then consulted with him on the grocery list, and five minutes later he was in a car, pulling out on to the highway.

           “Why do they always make me run the errands? I might not be a field agent or a medic or whatever, but why me? It’s always, ‘oh, hey, Fitz! Go do a Safeway run will ya? You aren’t needed right now. Oh, and don’t forget the coffee, Fitz. The good stuff. If you come back with Maxwell House you’re going back and buying all of us some sweets to make up for it.’ Seriously!” Grumbled Fitz to himself.

           Twenty-five minutes later, he parked the car at the small Kroger store in the nearby town and sighed as he pulled out the list, got a cart and went inside. An hour later, he came out with a full cart and started stuffing the SUV with all the groceries. It was around 6pm. The gang would probably want dinner soon if they haven’t made it already.

           Fitz drove out of the small town and turned back on to the highway. $$$When I get back, I’m going to settle in and have a relaxing evening. Yes, that’s what I’ll do. After radioing the SHIELD station that he was coming back, he continued on the lonely road, humming to himself.

           Suddenly, out of nowhere, a large pickup truck was heading straight for him. Fitz panicked and swerved to try and avoid a head-on collision, but he ended up moving too fast. Before he had time to process, the car went tumbling off the road.

           He was smashed against the car door multiple times as broken glass rained down on him. When the rolling was over, he found himself upside-down on his side, still strapped in, hurting in many places. His vision was getting dark around him, he was hyperventilating, and he felt like he was thrown into a bin of broken bottles. He whimpered as he tried to reach for his seatbelt. Once he hit the release, however, he fell out of the broken side window, being cut by the glass in the process, and felt the shocking cold of the river that ran along the highway. He paddled frantically to the surface as the current dragged him violently downstream.

           He gasped and coughed forcefully as he came above the water and attempted to float the best he could. It felt as if his body was being frozen, and his blood was being replaced with liquid nitrogen. Desperately lunging forward, he attempted to grab on to a log floating nearby, but ended up just diving under the water. When he came back up, he found himself being pulled by a side current. He tried desperately to escape it but was too weak. Luckily, that current made him get hung up in a shallow part of the river, so he slowly crawled onto the shore and coughed up the water he swallowed. He looked at his arm and cringed when he saw that it was cut up and bleeding from the broken glass. He started to shiver.

           The evening was coming, and the chill of an Oregon night in the early fall blew in. Fitz didn’t move. He was just cold and in pain.

           After laying there for a few minutes, feeling his shivering intensify, he heard the sound of a car. He looked at his bleeding arm once again and realized that he was still wearing his SHIELD-issued watch, which was waterproof. Maybe they had found him through its tracking device.

           “Fitz! Fitz? Where are you? If you can here me, call out!” He heard Simmons shout. He tried his best to call back to her, but he felt so weak from being dunked in the water and losing blood that it came out as more of a whimper. “I’m right here…” he cried, “Simmons… I can hear you…”

           “I think heard something. Over there,” said Skye. Leo laid there trying to get his dizziness under control and attempted to cry out again.

           “Simmons! I’m right here!” He shouted a little louder. As he heard the footsteps come closer, he noticed the terrible shivering running through his achy, weak body. “Simmons… help me…” Leo groaned as he felt the weak feeling overcome him.

           “Fitz! Oh, Fitz, you’re going to be alright. I’m here now,” he heard Jemma say as her voice got nice and close. She gently turned him face up, which caused Leo to wince. He looked up at her with his eyes half open. Her hands were warm and she had a relieved, kind look on her face. He suddenly felt very grateful for being rescued and started to cry, releasing the tension from his traumatic experience in the river now that he was safe.

           “Oh, you poor thing,” said Jemma, gently shushing him, “you’re okay. I’m going to patch you up and take care of you.” Fitz tried to respond but it came out as overwhelmed blubbering.

           “Coulson? I need your help carrying the stretcher. It’s a two-man job,” said Simmons. She carefully rolled Fitz onto the stretcher and began to examine him with a flashlight.

           “He’s really scratched up, not to mention cold and wet. Let’s get the poor guy back to HQ,” She said to Coulson. Fitz then felt himself lift off the ground as he was carried back to the SHIELD vehicle. Once he was there Simmons and Coulson lifted him onto a wheeled stretcher that was then rolled into the back of the van.

           “Dalton, I need you to get him back to the station quickly. Coulson, come here. Get out a blanket. Pass me some of that antiseptic and some gauze. He’s bleeding all over,” ordered Jemma. She then turned to Fitz and gently covered him with the soft blanket.

“There, that’s nice and warm, isn’t it? I’m just going to take care of your arm now, it’s all scratched up.” Fitz winced as she applied an alcohol-soaked cotton ball to the large gash on his arm. He clenched his teeth as she attempted to clean it out. It stung horribly.

“Stop… stop… it hurts…” Fitz whimpered, trying to pull his injured arm away.

“I know it hurts, but I need to clean it out. Hold still. Dalton, where are we at?”

“We’ll be there in under ten minutes,” replied Agent Dalton.

“Alright. Coulson, I need you to check his pulse while I take care of Fitz’s arm.” Coulson nodded and gently took Leo’s other wrist and felt for a pulse. Fitz felt comforted as he saw the caring smile of Coulson above him. He was still shivering but he knew that he was now safe.

“We’re here! I’ll direct you guys to the infirmary,” said Agent Dalton as he parked the van at the Douglas Fir Station. Fitz was quickly brought inside and transferred from the stretcher to a hospital bed. The room was chilly and clinical feeling, but it did have wood panelled walls and rather cozy lighting, except for the bright medical lamp above him. He was still shivering like crazy.

“Coulson, I need you to get Fitz some dry sweatpants and a t shirt. I’ll get the blankets,” Simmons said.

“Simmons? I’m still really cold…” said Fitz weakly.

“I know, sweetie, just hold on. We’ll get you out of those wet clothes in just a moment. What happened?”

“The car rolled off the road… into the river…” Fitz suddenly gasped.

“What? What is it? What’s wrong?” Asked Simmons.

“The groceries… I lost the groceries…” he whimpered, “and I destroyed the car! Oh, Simmons, I’m so sorry…”

Simmons couldn’t help but laugh. “Fitz…” she said in a kind voice, “that doesn’t matter! What matters at the moment is getting you warm and tending to your injuries. Here, put this thermometer under your tongue.” When the thermometer beeped, the result showed that Fitz was mildly hypothermic, just as she had expected. Coulson came back with Fitz’s clothes and a young agent in a buttoned-up SHIELD lab coat.

“Here’s the clothes, Simmons. This is Agent Wright, he’s the one with the highest level of medical training here at Douglas Fir. He’ll assist you,” said Coulson.

“Nice to meet you, Agent Wright. I’m Agent Simmons,” she said to him. Fitz watched as they shook hands, then quickly got down to business. The two of them carefully helped him out of his still soaking wet clothes, towel dried him, and helped him into the dry outfit. It felt wonderful. Jemma covered him with several warm blankets. The weight and warmth calmed him down further, and he could hear the beep slow down on the EKG.

“Now, just lay back, Fitz. I’m here to assist Simmons. I’m just going to stitch up that cut on your arm,” said Agent Wright in a calm voice, “Simmons, will you hand me a lidocaine syringe, 200 milligrams… two percent?” Fitz closed his eyes and put his trust in the medics.

“Fitz… you’re really tense,” he heard Jemma say as Agent Wright took his arm and started cleaning the area around the wound, “just relax, okay? Just breathe. You’re not letting yourself breathe.” Leo nodded and tried to relax, taking slow, deep breaths.

“Now, this will sting upon injection,” Wright explained calmly, “but after you won’t feel a thing, alright, buddy?” Fitz nodded. He didn’t want to open his eyes. He found himself clenching his teeth again in anticipation of the needle. This prompted Jemma to remind him to breathe.

“Mind if I put my hand on your chest? To feel your breathing?” She asked. Fitz just nodded, opening his eyes a little to see her wearing her headlamp and lab coat. Her hand was warm and comforting to Fitz, and he felt himself relax when she laid it on him. She guided his breathing as Wright proceeded to inject the anesthetic, which did sting quite a bit, but quickly went away.

Fitz opened his eyes and tried to sit up and see what Wright was doing across the room, but Jemma gently laid him back down. “He’s just getting the sutures ready. You’re alright, Fitz, you’re doing great.”

Fitz barely felt a thing as the wound on his arm was stitched up. Jemma finished taking care of some scratches Fitz had and monitored his condition. Fitz could feel himself get stronger and more alert as his temperature rose. When he gathered enough strength to sit upright, Jemma gave him some warm chicken broth in a mug.

“Your temperature is pretty much at a normal level,” said Jemma, reading from the thermometer she used on Fitz, now three hours after he was brought in, “but that doesn’t mean you’re going to do anything crazy yet, even if you’re feeling well. I’m putting you on R&R for the rest of the night.”

“Simmons, it’s only 9pm! I don’t want to go to bed at 9pm! I’m feeling better!” Leo protested, sitting on the edge of his bed.

           “Oh, no, I was not saying you had to go to bed. Just… take it easy. Watch a movie,” clarified Jemma.

           “I wanted to do that before I went out to get the groceries…” grumbled Fitz, “but fine… I’ll watch a movie…”

           “Oh, Fitz, are you still feeling bad about the groceries?” Jemma asked, sitting down beside him.

           He looked at her in the eyes. “A little…” he said awkwardly.

           “Fitz… this is not your fault. Don’t dwell on it. What matters is that we found you. You know what? I’ll make sure you never have to do a grocery run alone ever again.”

           “You promise?” Fitz asked with a chuckle.

           “I swear it on my really expensive lab equipment.”

           “You’re so weird, Simmons. Let’s go watch a film. Sorry the microwave popcorn is in the river now,” he said as he stood up and headed for the door.

           Jemma laughed. “I’m sure there’s something in the pantry we can snack on.”

[aion-rsa]

Spider-Man: Far From Home Ending Explained

https://ift.tt/2LycGOe

The Spider-Man: Far From Home ending sets up the future of Peter Parker in the MCU. Here's what it all means.

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This article contains nothing but Spider-Man: Far From Home spoilers. We have a spoiler free review right here.

Spider-Man: Far From Home has been described as the true ending of Phase 3 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. During the lead-up to Avengers: Endgame, people scratched their heads over that suggestion because Endgame was an almost unheard of modern cinematic event and the culmination of an entire universe told over the course of 11 years. Far From Home was about Spider-Man having a wacky European adventure, right?

Then the second snap happened and we suddenly understood. This was going to be an epilogue. Not only due to the complete quagmire of the universe’s new status quo, but because Tony Stark is dead and he’s been treated as Peter Parker’s father figure. As a result, Spider-Man: Far From Home is a nice, breezy superhero story that also gives us details on the intriguing aftermath of Avengers: Endgame.

The Spider-Man: Far From Home ending is pretty much a two-part process. The ending itself gives us what looks like a pure happy ending with a loose end or two mixed in there. Then the mid-credits stinger adds to it and shows that things aren’t as cut-and-dry optimistic as they originally seemed. But that’s for another article.

No, the initial ending is pretty straightforward at first. Spider-Man beats the bad guy, gets the girl, the grizzled higher up gives him a pat on the back, and he gets to go back to happily swinging around the streets of New York. But let’s take a closer look at the Spider-Man: Far From Home ending...

The MCU Multiverse is Fake (for now)

The moment Mysterio was revealed in the Far From Home trailer, it was the most obvious plot twist to any comic fan. Mysterio was no superhero fighting monsters. He was a villain and likely the one who created the monsters to begin with.

That Mysterio was almost exactly like his comic self was the real twist. We’re used to Marvel taking liberties with their villains, much like what we got with the Mandarin in Iron Man 3 and sympathetic Skrulls in Captain Marvel. Using Mysterio's back story about another universe is a cute misdirection in itself, what with Spider-Man’s last starring role being in a movie about a multiversal team-up.

The thing about sci-fi/fantasy worlds like this is that it’s hard to be purely cynical. If you hint at the impossible, then the impossible will exist. Scooby-Doo and his friends spent years proving that there was no actual ghost, but then they went and did stories where they actually met ghosts. Agents of SHIELD spent much of its first season insisting that mind-reading is impossible, but it's only a matter of time before Charles Xavier shows up in the MCU in some form. Even the MCU Mandarin was walked back with the reveal that there really is an evil overlord lurking in the shadows who isn’t a drunk loser putting on a performance.

Endgame brings up the idea of there being alternate realities, but those are ones born out of time travel weirdness. There’s a world where Loki escaped with the Space Stone. There’s a world where Thanos and his armies vanished one day and never returned. Nothing as radical as what Mysterio was pretending to be from, but with the upcoming What If series on Disney+, the continued weirdness coming in Doctor Strange 2, and whatever Marvel has in mind to explain mutants as eventually being a thing, I have to imagine that this fake backstory is merely a hint of what’s to come.

The Death of Mysterio

First off, I like that they found a PG-13 way to rewrite Mysterio’s comic book death. There, it was a self-inflicted gunshot wound as well, but it was explicitly a suicide. He even did it as part of a plot to successfully ruin a superhero’s life. Except in the comics, he was ruining Daredevil by setting up Karen Page’s murder.

Mysterio flat-out tells Spider-Man near the end that he’s all about contingencies. Spider-Man, and presumably the viewer as well, is tricked by this because Mysterio does pull off a climactic misdirection that completely fails. Then he dies from his gunshot wound. EDITH makes it clear that he is absolutely, positively dead.

And yet in death he’s more powerful than any giant fire monster. I’m personally shocked that he died due to how much of a shoe-in he’d be for the Sinister Six, especially with Mac Gargan and Vulture already supplying the hate-on for Tony Stark and Spider-Man.

How the Drones Work

Maybe it’s just me, but I can’t help but notice the similarities between the MCU Spider-Man movies and Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight Trilogy. There’s stuff like how Zendaya's Michelle Jones identifying herself as “MJ” at the end of Spider-Man: Homecoming is the same spirit as John Blake being “Robin” at the conclusion of The Dark Knight Rises. Even Mysterio’s whole beef comes from, “Nobody cared who I was until I wore the mask.”

But the biggest one is the “political super weapon that goes too far.” The Dark Knight had a whole thing about Batman using advanced technology to essentially wiretap all of Gotham City. The whole Big Brother surveillance thing led to a short-lived argument between Bruce Wayne and Lucius Fox where Fox was all, “This spits in the face of freedom,” and Wayne was all, “Let me just use this shady piece of tech to catch the serial killer clown and then I promise I’ll blow it up.”

read more: Complete Schedule of Upcoming Marvel MCU Movies

For Spider-Man, it’s about the drones, which is another modern political tie-in. This one gets more blatant because the villain actually gets to use it for evil. Even the hero’s use of it is sketchy in its own way. In the end, Spidey makes sure to destroy all the drones, as it’s his responsibility to eliminate a power that shouldn’t be in anyone’s hands.

The bad news is that he’s going to need all the help he can get ASAP. It’s a good thing he’s been able to perfect his Spidey Sense/Peter Tingle because he’s going to need that level of “not getting shot in a rainstorm of bullets” to survive in the next movie.

MJ Knows Peter is Spider-Man

The trailers made an interesting choice in revealing that MJ knows Peter Parker is Spider-Man, but the movie does go further with it. Much of the movie makes it pretty obvious that MJ is just as into Peter as he is into her, but then there’s the bombshell where she makes it seem that all along, she was more paying attention to him for the sake of snooping. There was no affection, but curiosity.

read more: Spider-Man Villains Who Could Join the MCU

Then it’s revealed that she does actually have feelings for him anyway. Peter essentially redeems himself for his ultimate failure in Homecoming in screwing things up with Liz. His relationship with MJ signifies an ability to find the strength and confidence to mix his two worlds together and succeed. This goes great with the relationship between his current superhero life father figure Happy Hogan and his down-to-earth life mother figure Aunt May.

Time will tell soon enough how much their relationship can endure because, hoo boy, the shit hits the fan in that mid-credits scene.

What's Up With Flash Thompson?

Tony Revolori’s Flash Thompson had the most curious role in Far From Home. Back in Homecoming, he was exactly what you'd expect from the character: a bully. The kind of guy who would rail on Peter and never really get his comeuppance because Peter attacking him would go against the whole power/responsibility deal. There wasn’t much to him and there didn’t need to be.

In Far From Home, Flash's spot as a bully is jeopardized. Not only is Brad the new class antagonist for Peter, but Flash gets dunked on a lot. Whether it’s MJ screwing him out of an alcoholic beverage, that part where someone nut-checks him, or Peter accidentally knocking him out in a scuffle, Flash is constantly getting his comeuppance.

read more: Spider-Man Villains and the Power of the Everyman

Except, there’s the thing with his mother. It only comes up a couple of times, but there’s talk of Flash having an absentee mother that doesn’t lead to anything. Even his final appearance is him sadly asking about her. This isn’t the bully getting his. This is straight-up for sympathy.

In the comics, Flash would go on to become one of Peter’s best friends and even his bullying ways would be given context to make him more sympathetic. Not only does his friendship with Peter and love of Spider-Man make him a better person overall, but he even joins the Avengers for a time as Agent Venom.

While I doubt we’ll be getting any kind of Venom in the MCU any time soon, the fact is, Flash might be the friend Peter needs for the third leg in the trilogy.

Gavin Jasper writes for Den of Geek and once worked with a guy named Mr. Jones who had never heard of the Counting Crows song “Mr. Jones.” Crazy. Read Gavin’s other articles here and follow him on Twitter @Gavin4L

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Jul 2, 2019

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[bharatiyamedia-blog]

Do not even hassle cleansing your telephone display every other method than these

http://tinyurl.com/y3gpgkoh Be sure you’re cleansing your telephone the best method. Derek Poore/CNET Cellphone screens smudge and get dirty. It is what they do greatest. It is gross, however most of us have realized to dwell with the grease as a result of maintaining telephone screens clear is difficult. Perhaps you may give it a cursory wipe in your denims or the hem of your shift, however that will not actually get the display clear. The most effective method is not exhausting, and can solely price you a couple of dollars.  On the flipside, there are the cleansing brokers and strategies that you simply by no means wish to use, as a result of — though you would possibly initially see good outcomes — they are often too harsh and harm the display you are working so exhausting to guard. We will inform you which merchandise to keep away from, and the very best methods to scrub off fingerprint smudges, sand and lint from the ports, tenacious make-up off the display (trace: by no means with make-up remover) and even disinfect your telephone from contact with uncooked meat when you’re cooking. We additionally inform you the best way to look after phones rated for water-resistance. Now enjoying: Watch this: Learn how to clear your telephone (and issues to by no means do) 2:34 9 issues it is best to by no means use to scrub your telephone We’re not right here to disgrace you, however drop that bottle of Windex, stat. That is how to not clear your display. Window cleaner You clear your mirrors and home windows with window cleaner, and so they’re squeaky clear, so it have to be OK to make use of in your telephone? Flawed! Some newer telephones, just like the iPhone XR ($750 at Amazon), have a protecting coating that resists water and oil, which might put on out over time. Utilizing harsh cleaners can strip the coating and will depart your telephone extra susceptible to scratches. James LeBeau, an affiliate professor of supplies science and engineering at MIT, informed us that any cleanser with an abrasive agent will probably scratch the floor, so these ought to be prevented fully. Kitchen cleaners A display’s scratch-resistant properties will not get floor down by cleansing brokers, however stripping that protecting coating remains to be an issue. That is why Apple additionally suggests not using household cleaning products to clean your iPhone. Bar Keepers Good friend, for instance, states that its abrasive system could harm the protective layer. Bon Ami states to not use on glass with coatings.  Drop the window cleaner and counter spray, now. Derek Poore/CNET Paper towels They stands out as the go-to for cleansing your desk, however maintain them away out of your telephone. The paper can shred, making the particles in your telephone a lot worse. Paper towels may even find yourself leaving scratches in your display. Rubbing alcohol Since many more recent telephones have a protecting coating, rubbing alcohol can put on it away faster over time, inflicting your telephone to be extra vulnerable to scratches. Be certain that to examine for alcohol in product substances on any “secure to make use of” telephone display cleaners. Apple says to keep away from alcohol when cleansing its gadgets. Make-up remover Some make-up removers could have chemical compounds that may be harsh to an digital display. LeBeau suggests avoiding make-up remover and as a substitute use a delicate material with slightly little bit of water. Now enjoying: Watch this: Galaxy S10 ideas and tips 3:33 Compressed air Your telephone is delicate, so blowing an intense quantity of air into its portals may cause some harm, particularly to your mic. Tech firms, like Apple, particularly warn not to use compressed air. Dish cleaning soap and hand cleaning soap Whereas your dish and hand soaps could also be mild, the one method to make use of them is to mix them with water. Most telephone firms counsel to maintain water away out of your telephone, so once more, follow a humid material. Vinegar This can be a no-no. Vinegar will strip the display’s coating. You possibly can, as Lifehacker suggests, use a really diluted vinegar to cleanse different components of your telephone. Android Central suggests a 50/50 combine with distilled water for cleansing the edges and again. Disinfectant wipes The warning label on these reminds you to scrub your palms after every use, so utilizing them to scrub one thing that touches your face typically is not an awesome thought. In line with MIT’s LeBeau, these wipes usually comprise alcohol that can strip off the oleophobic (oil-repellant) and hydrophobic (water-repellent) coatings.  Take away your fingerprint smudges and different muck with these cleansing ideas. warat42/iStockphoto Learn how to clear fingerprint smudges out of your display Fingerprint smudges are exhausting to forestall as a result of your pores and skin continuously produces oils. That implies that each time you choose up your telephone, it is certain to get fingerprints throughout it. The most secure and simplest approach to clear your display is with a microfiber material. If the display is in determined want of cleansing, use distilled water to dampen the microfiber material after which wipe down your display — keep away from squirting the water immediately on the display. This methodology can be utilized on the again and sides of your telephone, too. You can even strive Swipe Wipes, which you follow the again of your telephone and might pop off when it’s worthwhile to give it a wipe-down. Try Samsung’s tips on cleansing your smartphone, too. Take away sand and lint with this trick Lint and sand can get caught within the small ports of your telephone and within the crevices the place the display meets the physique.  The most effective answer for eradicating sand and lint is Scotch tape. You may lay it alongside the creases and speaker, and roll it up and gently place it within the ports. The tape’s stickiness will pull out any lint or sand that could be caught in your telephone. For the smaller speaker holes that tape cannot attain, use a toothpick or attempt to vacuum the particles out with a small crevice tool. These instruments may also be used for different small home equipment or hard-to-reach areas in your automotive. Disinfect your telephone from contact with uncooked meat If uncooked meat touches your telephone — say for those who’re studying a recipe in your gadget — chances are you’ll instantly suppose to scrub it with alcohol, however as talked about above, do not. It will probably strip the oleophobic and hydrophobic coatings. Different websites counsel utilizing a mixture of alcohol and water, however they’ve warning notes, so we recommend staying away from that to be on the secure aspect. Alcohol and detergent can harm your display as a result of they’re so caustic. As a substitute, use the (say it with me now) damp microfiber material, or put money into a UV gentle, like PhoneSoap. This UV gentle firm claims to kill 99.99% of germs and banishes micro organism. Learn: How to clean your monitor or TV screen In the event you make a name whereas sporting make-up, guess what will get in your telephone. Sarah Tew/CNET Take away make-up safely When you have got a full face of make-up and must make a name, guess what that basis is about to stay to? That is proper, your telephone display. And when you could use make-up remover to take off your make-up each night time, you should not use it as a display cleaner because of some chemical compounds that may very well be lurking within the substances. Organics.org explains the chemical compounds that may very well be in your make-up remover. As a substitute, you could possibly get your telephone its personal make-up remover, like Whoosh. The corporate claims it is secure for all screens and incorporates no alcohol, chlorine, ammonia or phosphates that might harm the assorted display coatings. You can even use a humid microfiber material to scrub it — after which throw that material within the wash. Be sure you use a sprig bottle to spritz the material, fairly than working it below water. The much less water, the higher. Are you able to wash waterproof telephones? When you have a water resistant telephone, rated for IP67 and above, you’ll be able to rinse it with water. Though these telephones, just like the iPhone 7 ($739 at Walmart) and newer and the Galaxy S telephones, can stand up to submersion for as much as 30 minutes in as much as Three toes of water, it is a significantly better thought to make use of a humid or moist material to scrub your telephone. Then dry your telephone with a dry, delicate material to take away the water. Be certain that to pat dry all audio system and ports. Dunking the telephone in water or working it below a faucet will get water into the ports, which suggests you will not be capable to cost it till they’re dry, and that may take time. Do not forget that having a water resistant telephone is extra about peace of thoughts than it’s about purposely taking your telephone for a swim. Revealed April 22 and up to date June 21, 2019. Source link

[mimosaeyes]

The 3rd Quarterly Book Recs!

previous two installations | Goodreads account

In July through September, I finished reading 33 unique titles and re-read quite a number of them, because lit major conscientiousness. That brings me to a total of 82 books so far this year, surpassing my initial 'reading challenge’ goal of 80 books. Since Goodreads counts re-reads, I’ve had to up the goal to 100 books, but I’m sitting at 95 now and there’s still three months to go. Yikes.

Under the cut you’ll find 7 titles listed, along with spoiler-free excerpts from my existing reviews on Goodreads. Which are usually pretty impressionistic, by the way. Do note that where I thought it was necessary, I’ve included trigger warnings in my full reviews, and indicated here which books might contain such material. I list these warnings not to sensationalise the novel(s), but for your safety. Happy reading!

New favourites (in alphabetical order)

After Leaving Mr Mackenzie by Jean Rhys (full review below)

The last Rhys novel that I hadn't read once before, and her most brilliant achievement in my opinion. Julia Martin's story inheres in the shifting nuances of power afforded by a women who has made a career of being someone's mistress. She cannot let go of her past; she orbits around the events that have left their marks on her, and she haunts cities, a stranger in every place. Her story begins and ends in the most quiet, wry sort of desperation.

The Indigo Girl by Natasha Boyd (full review here)

Oh, I liked this novel immensely. Somehow everything about it fits together. You will empathise with Eliza's self-doubt, you will be impressed by the diplomacy with which she handles men who consistently underestimate her, and you will crow with delight when she slam-dunks characters like Starrat and Cromwell. Hers is a touching story, sensitively rendered.

Sadness Is a White Bird by Moriel Rothman-Zecher (full review here)

The style is emotive and lyrical; the non-chronological narration works fantastically. The tone was so melancholy and loving, it made for simply delicious reading. Excellent too on the little nuances, the everyday tensions. It really humanises the bigger political climate being represented. The ending sequences were especially moving. I won't say more. Read it!

Yuki Means Happiness by Alison Jean Lester (full review here)

This novel really spoke to me, for a variety of reasons, which I go into in the full review. But above all: this is a novel with so much love in it. Different kinds of love, love with the tricky parts left in, love that makes compromises and sacrifices. I feel obscurely healed, having read it.

Neat discoveries

Any Human Heart by William Boyd (full review here, including trigger warnings)

Logan Mountstuart is an ordinary enough man with a weakness for alcohol and women, who gets pulled into all sorts of unlikely situations. Not the sort of narrative with a clear thrust to it; more about imitating the way lives happen, or to put it another way, about refracting major world events through the prism of just one person's biography.

The Essex Serpent by Sarah Perry (full review here, which I oddly enough recommend, as it’s one of my more considered and lyrical ones)

There is no unifying moment here; there is no climax where all the loose threads snap into place and the tapestry appears just so. But that is the point. This novel is a portrait of its time, and that time was one of flux and things that do not settle well, or neatly. I may not have felt that way initially, but I do on further reflection.

The Hours Count by Jillian Cantor (full review here)

As Cantor states in her Author's Note at the end, this novel is largely the product of her imagination. Julius and Ethel Rosenberg have yet to be exonerated posthumously, despite their sons' continued campaigning efforts and the emergence of new evidence. Moreover, Millie, the protagonist, is entirely made up, as are the characters associated with her, like her husband Ed, or the FBI agent Jake. However, I found fascinating Cantor's premise of wanting to imagine Ethel as an innocent mother forced to orphan her children. The plot she weaves around Millie really hooked me, and it intersected quite gracefully with real events in Ethel's life.

[johnbmarbury]

15 Signs Your Liver is NOT Taking Out the Trash (a.k.a. Toxins)

Your liver is responsible for cleaning all the crud out of your body and breaking it down to a form that can be expelled through the skin, urine, or feces.

Toxin overload, evidenced by one or more of the symptoms below, may be telling you that your liver needs a little help.

Eating lots of fresh fruits and veggies will give your liver the nutrients it needs to detoxify naturally. If any of the following applies to you, you might want to consider making changes to your current diet.

History of alcohol/drug use or hepatitis

Long-term prescription drug use

Sensitive to chemicals (tobacco smoke, personal care products, fumes, perfume, cleaning agents, etc.)

Stomach upset by greasy foods

Greasy or shiny stools

History of nausea, motion sickness, or morning sickness

Light or pale-colored stools

Headache over the eyes

Gallbladder attacks

Bitter taste in the mouth (especially after meals)

Becoming sick or easily intoxicated when drinking wine

Easily hung-over

Pain under right side of rib cage

Hemorrhoids or varicose veins

Chronic fatigue or fibromyalgia

Nutrients Needed for Natural Liver Detoxification

How to Cleanse: Liquid/Powder/?

Some people swear by liquid cleanses. These will surely clean you out but there are two things to consider: 1) if it’s too harsh you could be hurting yourself and 2) you’ll be hungry and may end up falling off the cleansing wagon. Proteins are toxins’ escorts so cutting back on these while trying to detoxify may be self-defeating. A short-term fast of 1-3 days may help you feel lighter and cleaner but a 3-week deal is probably too much and may result in nutrient deficiency, which is contrary to the healthifying objective.

You may opt for a whole-food cleanse to support your liver and the rest of your digestive system to do what comes naturally. A regular nutritionally-sound diet obviates the need for detox; by cutting out all the toxins you can and eating to support optimal cell function, everything runs smoothly–including your liver.

If you change your diet and eliminate the obvious offenders but still feel sluggish or experience some of the signs above, then a more aggressive regimen may be indicated (you should always consult a certified healthcare provider before embarking on a traditional cleanse). Your body is exceptionally adept at telling you what it needs; you simply have to pay attention.

Best Liver Detox Foods

Beets – uniquely formulated to thin bile, beets loosen up the flow. After toxins leave the liver, they are dunked in bile; if bile flow is sluggish (a common situation), it doesn’t work as well. Eating beets is like adding washing soda to the machine. Raw is best for detoxification: shred some and try a slaw with apple cider vinegar, olive oil, and salt.

Fresh fruit – vitamin- and fiber-rich with nutritious phytonutrients, all fruit is good fruit. Those highest in vitamin C are especially good for the liver: grapefruit, orange, papaya, pineapple, kiwi, and berries.

Milk Thistle – The vibrant antioxidants in this spiky plant have been shown to reverse effects of liver cancer, inflammation, cirrhosis, and “fatty liver”. You can get it in a pill or tea–we like the tea.

Proteins – For detox, reduce/change animal proteins and increase the plant proteins. Animal muscle proteins are very complex and hard to break down, requiring a certain set of amino acids to do so. Ease up (but not out) on the kind of protein you are feeding your liver.

“Non-inflammatory” proteins of fish, eggs, quinoa, cultured dairy, beans, and–ironically–organ meats are supportive of liver detox, providing the necessary nutrition without having to work as hard to break down a steak, for instance. Bone broth is a good source of protein, easy and inexpensive to make, and versatile.

Water – Pure, filtered, fluoride-free water. Lots of it.

A bath in Epsom salts also promotes liver function by infusing your body with magnesium and stimulating glutathione production. Calming and soothing, too–who wouldn’t use that?

Liver health can’t be overemphasized. Next to the skin, our liver is the largest organ and is responsible for over two hundred metabolic processes. And we have only one.

The post 15 Signs Your Liver is NOT Taking Out the Trash (a.k.a. Toxins) appeared first on Daily Health Post.

15 Signs Your Liver is NOT Taking Out the Trash (a.k.a. Toxins)

[dailyhealthpostbc]

15 Signs Your Liver is NOT Taking Out the Trash (a.k.a. Toxins)

Your liver is responsible for cleaning all the crud out of your body and breaking it down to a form that can be expelled through the skin, urine, or feces.

Toxin overload, evidenced by one or more of the symptoms below, may be telling you that your liver needs a little help.

Eating lots of fresh fruits and veggies will give your liver the nutrients it needs to detoxify naturally. If any of the following applies to you, you might want to consider making changes to your current diet.

History of alcohol/drug use or hepatitis

Long-term prescription drug use

Sensitive to chemicals (tobacco smoke, personal care products, fumes, perfume, cleaning agents, etc.)

Stomach upset by greasy foods

Greasy or shiny stools

History of nausea, motion sickness, or morning sickness

Light or pale-colored stools

Headache over the eyes

Gallbladder attacks

Bitter taste in the mouth (especially after meals)

Becoming sick or easily intoxicated when drinking wine

Easily hung-over

Pain under right side of rib cage

Hemorrhoids or varicose veins

Chronic fatigue or fibromyalgia

Nutrients Needed for Natural Liver Detoxification

How to Cleanse: Liquid/Powder/?

Some people swear by liquid cleanses. These will surely clean you out but there are two things to consider: 1) if it’s too harsh you could be hurting yourself and 2) you’ll be hungry and may end up falling off the cleansing wagon. Proteins are toxins’ escorts so cutting back on these while trying to detoxify may be self-defeating. A short-term fast of 1-3 days may help you feel lighter and cleaner but a 3-week deal is probably too much and may result in nutrient deficiency, which is contrary to the healthifying objective.

You may opt for a whole-food cleanse to support your liver and the rest of your digestive system to do what comes naturally. A regular nutritionally-sound diet obviates the need for detox; by cutting out all the toxins you can and eating to support optimal cell function, everything runs smoothly–including your liver.

If you change your diet and eliminate the obvious offenders but still feel sluggish or experience some of the signs above, then a more aggressive regimen may be indicated (you should always consult a certified healthcare provider before embarking on a traditional cleanse). Your body is exceptionally adept at telling you what it needs; you simply have to pay attention.

Best Liver Detox Foods

Beets – uniquely formulated to thin bile, beets loosen up the flow. After toxins leave the liver, they are dunked in bile; if bile flow is sluggish (a common situation), it doesn’t work as well. Eating beets is like adding washing soda to the machine. Raw is best for detoxification: shred some and try a slaw with apple cider vinegar, olive oil, and salt.

Fresh fruit – vitamin- and fiber-rich with nutritious phytonutrients, all fruit is good fruit. Those highest in vitamin C are especially good for the liver: grapefruit, orange, papaya, pineapple, kiwi, and berries.

Milk Thistle – The vibrant antioxidants in this spiky plant have been shown to reverse effects of liver cancer, inflammation, cirrhosis, and “fatty liver”. You can get it in a pill or tea–we like the tea.

Proteins – For detox, reduce/change animal proteins and increase the plant proteins. Animal muscle proteins are very complex and hard to break down, requiring a certain set of amino acids to do so. Ease up (but not out) on the kind of protein you are feeding your liver.

“Non-inflammatory” proteins of fish, eggs, quinoa, cultured dairy, beans, and–ironically–organ meats are supportive of liver detox, providing the necessary nutrition without having to work as hard to break down a steak, for instance. Bone broth is a good source of protein, easy and inexpensive to make, and versatile.

Water – Pure, filtered, fluoride-free water. Lots of it.

A bath in Epsom salts also promotes liver function by infusing your body with magnesium and stimulating glutathione production. Calming and soothing, too–who wouldn’t use that?

Liver health can’t be overemphasized. Next to the skin, our liver is the largest organ and is responsible for over two hundred metabolic processes. And we have only one.

The post 15 Signs Your Liver is NOT Taking Out the Trash (a.k.a. Toxins) appeared first on Daily Health Post.

[thedogcouch]

Orlando Animal Shelter Sorts Dogs Into Hogwarts Houses

A chunk of fury a rat’s king takes place when the tails of rodents become twisted, wrapped, and tucked right into a knot so impossible that it could be untangled by the world Boy Scout. Rat kings are reported since the mid-16th century (nearly completely within Germany), and what about themby their title, to their origin, to their own presence–stays suspended in puzzle.

To start, the origin of the expression rat king is vague. It may be a mistaken translation of the French rouet de fighters, also a “wheel of fighters” (rat king in French is roi-de-rats). But this is an etymology. More likely, rat king harkens into the German Rattenkönig–an insult to the pope, but also a phrase used to describe elderly rats. (It was believed that mature rats could sit on the tails of younger rats to create their nests, which if the tails, the older rat could endure with its food delivered from the rodent world’s proletariat. As the New York Tribune clarified in 1857, a rat king, “like so many kings, princes, and also democratic officer holders, ” [depended] upon the labouring classes for support.”)

The rat king’s presence is debatable; they might be fakes perpetrated by hoaxers who desired to earn a buck while there are many maintained specimens. (Don’t put it past our ancestors: “In medieval times, a number of Shiite European merchants glued bat wings into lizards and sold them as ‘dragons,”’ notes magazine.) Owing to a shortage of evidence that is modern that is strong, zoologists remain doubtfulnevertheless receptive to the chance they’re freak accidents.

Rodents, after all, do get tied up in one another’s business. Back in 1951, a “squirrel king” seemed in a South Carolina zoo. In 2013, six more tangled squirrels were rescued from veterinarians in Canada. And only this season in Maine, four baby rabbits were listed on video with their tails linked to “a giant dreadlock,” based on the man who found them.

How can rat kings occur if real? Some notions are more crackpot than others: from the 18th and 17th centuries, naturalists suggested the tails were woven during arrival, glued from the afterbirth. Others suggested that rats intentionally tangled weaker rodents to earn a nest’s tails. Both concepts are improbable.

The most plausible explanation is that black rats–that have long, supple tails and also reside in close quarters throughout winter–can come in touch with a sticky or frozen substance like sebum (secreted in the creatures’ epidermis), sapand food, stool, frozen urine, or frozen blood. The critters slumber may be solidified since by the bonding agent. Because they attempt to twist after the rodents realize their tails are glued, then they might create a tighter knot.

This explanation includes a ring of realitythe majority of rat kings were detected during the winter or a frosty shoulder season, and they are usually found in a tight shelter.

There have been 30 to 60 rat warrior sightings. Back in 1973, the biologist and writer Maarten ‘t Hart tracked down all of these. Using Hart’s delightful book as our principal guide, we now present a deadline of nearly every listed rat king sighting since the 16th century.

(Notice: We uttered approximately a dozen sightings which Hart claimed were dubious, and we’re sure more instances exist. But, to be frank, after viewing the photographs below, you might know why this deadline is the sort we’d like to never have to update.)

Rat King in Sabucus’s Emblemata

1576: Johannes Sambucus, a Hungarian historian, releases the fourth edition of the favorite Emblemata–basically a 16th century movie book–known as Emblemata cum aliquot nummis antiqui operis. Inside, Sambucus explains the way servants in Antwerp, Belgium found seven rats using knotted tails. (The identical volume contains stories involving unicorns, so take that for what it’s worth.)

July 1683: Back in Strasbourg, France, a man named Würtzen finds in his basement “strikingly massive rats using their tails so intertwined and fused they could not be separated without harm,” a modern report says. The varmints are displayed at the town hall, along with an illustrated print of the braided bunch is published in the Mercure Galant.

1690: After hearing his floorboards squeak for all the wrong reasons, a bigwig in Kiel, Germany, orders hot water poured down a rathole. The homeowner decides to remove the flooring tiles when the squealing persists, although four rodents scamper outside. He finds 14 tangled rats, that can be dumped into a privy.

1694: Back in Krossen, Germany, 15 fused rats are observed at a factory. They are killed with strung giving a opportunity to passersby and warm water.

1705: A bulge of snarled rats is discovered in Keula, Germany. It is pickled in alcohol and afterwards disappears.

The 1683 rat king, as illustrated by Wilhelm Schmuck

July 1719: A rodent tumbleweed–population nine–appears in Roßla, Germany. (The naturalist Johann Heinrich Linck supposedly makes engravings of the monster.)

1722: Residents in the village of Dieskau, Germany, find another reason to avoid eating their veggies when 12 tangled creatures are found rooting via a spoonful of peas. Euthanized by a cascade of water that is boiling, the rats are taken into Dresden’s Royal Natural History Group. Back in 1849, this ratty rosette is assumed lost in a fire.

1722: A writhing bunch of rats (number unknown) grips Leipzig, Germany. The gnarled specimen is killed, pickled in a jar of alcohol, and paraded through the city. It mummified in a museum. Like every mummy, it goes missing.

1725: Eleven rats of different sizes–regarded as a momma-rat and its youthful–are located entangled in Dorndorf, Germany.

1727: In a banner season for rat kings, naturalist Johann Linck reports that a whopping four rat kings are sighted in Germany. Hart, however, claims that just one of these is mildly credible: the rat king of the quaint mountainside town of Wernigerode, that is supposedly maintained by a local count.

1748: German zoologist Johann Goeze reports that a gross chunk of 18 rats has turned up in the town of Gross-Baullhausen, Germany.

An illustration from Henri Coupin’s 1903 publication

1748: A bulge of 10 plump male rats looks at a monastery in the spa town of Bad Langensalza, Germany. The sanctity of life apparently doesn’t extend to rat hens: It is killed, dunked in alcohol, also, similar to the other specimens, afterwards goes M.I.A.

1759: A tinsmith in Arnstadt, Germany, is startled to discover a buffet of six snagged vermin close to the town market. The discovery becomes the subject of five oil paintings, four of which have been lost during World War II. (Based on Hart, the sole surviving art is suspended from Arnstadt’s Castle Museum.)

1772: Twelve twist-tied rats are found in Erfurt, Germany; the specimen is afterwards illustrated by J. J. Bellerman in his 1820 publication Ueber das Bisher Bezweifelte Dasein des Rattenkönigs, or About the Hitherto Doubted Existence of Rat Kings. (For anyone curious, the book doesn’t sell quite well.)

December 1774: Christian Kaiser, a miller’s assistant, finds 16 snarled fighters in Lindenau, Germany, and devotes them into an artist called Johan Adam Fassauer, requesting a painting. Instead, Fassauer starts displaying the rats into the people for a fee. When Kaiser realizes the painter is still profiting off his discovery he demands for the child’s yield. (Based on Hart, “the end of the story is unknown,” although other reports suggest the dispute led to one of the strangest divorce struggles a courtroom has ever witnessed.)

1793: A Gordian knot of 10 rats appears in a secure in Wundersleben, Germany.

1793: Back in Brunswick, Germany, seven entangled rodents create a surprise visit to a local privy.

1810: Brunswick celebrates backend rats! Following times of interminable squeaking, a well-to-do citizen tears up his floorboards simply to find a tangled jumble of rodents. “All of their tails were united together so firmly so inextricably they could not be pulled apart,” writes Hart.

December 1822: A thresher in Döllstädt finds two gobs of rats–one consisting of 28 rodents, another 14–within the primary column of a barn. “All 42 seemed to be somewhat hungry, and squeaked continuously but seemed totally healthy,” reported zoologist Alfred Brehm. “These were equivalent and moreover of such considerable size they should have been born throughout the last spring.” Before being thrown onto a dungheap the rats are paraded.

Is now the biggest specimen in the world.

May 1828: Doing spring cleaning, Miller Steinbruck of Thuringia, Germany, finds a scorched clump of 32 rodents inside their chimney. The terrifying rat king is today held at the Mauritianum Museum in Altenburg, Germany.

May 1829: A artist gets creative using a coil of eight fighters found in Flein, Germany. “The individuals constituting this king were not arranged in the typical circle but seemed like a lot of flowers with the tails symbolizing the knotted stalks,” Hart writes. Today it’s maintained at the Stuttgart Natural History Museum.

1837: A dirty dozen appears in Zaisenhausen, Germany, prompting the discoverer to call upon a warrior. The man provides the sample but when the director dies, he brings any understanding of the rat king’s whereabouts.

1841: Half a dozen knotted rats appear in Bonn, Germany. They are maintained for more than a century at the University Zoological Institute, but it becomes one of many memorial casualties during World War II.

March 1844: A smorgasbord of seven rats surfaces in the tiny Bavarian town of Leutershuasen, Germany.

1870: Back in Keula, Germany, a rat king of unknown number is discovered and maintained, but it too, disappears throughout World War II.

February 1880: Following hearing odd squeaks from top a wall, a postman in Düsseldorf, Germany finds a skein of eight rats, that is photographed and maintained, however (you guessed it) Is lost during World War II.

Tired 1895, from volume 6 of a rat king.

1883: In an effort to decide whether rat sequences are a hoax, German zoologist Hermann Landois ties the tails of 10 dead brown rats collectively. According to Hart, the outcomes should have been unsatisfactory. “Anyone that ties up the tails of dead rats (I have tried it several times) will get something which in no way resembles the sins found in nature: the knots are excessively neat.” But Hart doesn’t dismiss that there might be frauds on the market: “[It was] lucrative to get a king, so people began tying tails collectively. Kusthardt (1915) reports that lots of such sham kings were displayed at fairs and related gatherings.”

April 1883: After loud squeals emerge from underneath a retailer’s bathroom in Lüneburg, Germany, also a motley knot of eight rats is found. Like most others, it is purportedly maintained but lost through the Second World War.

1889: A youthful rat warrior numbering five or six ends up at Obermodern-Zutzendorf, Germany. Reports of the discovery cause it into England, where the The Newcastle Weekly Courant propagates the myth that, such as royalty, the rats were sustained from the charitable contributions of lowlier rodents: “The rats were in the very best conditions–conclusive that astonishingly excellent care had been bestowed upon them with their more lucky rat brethren.”

The 1894 Strasbourg rat king.

Musées of Strasbourg Strasbourg, M. Bertola

April 1894: A frozen ratcicle containing 10 rodents–many of which are pocked with teeth marks and gnawed thighs–is located beneath a hay-bale in Dellfeld, Germany. You can visit the aisle in the Strasbourg Zoological Museum.

November 1899: A ratpack of seven crosses the boundary and also visits Courtalain, France. It is currently stored at the Musee de Chateaudun, also a two-hour train ride from Paris.

May 1905: Seven young rodents are already reported in Hamburg, Germany, now maintained in the town’s Natural History Museum. (The following year, a lucky seven strikes again in January Vernet, France.)

January 1907: A potpourri of 10 black fighters appears in Rudersdorf. It’s preserved.

October 1914: A teen rat king is situated (living) in Moers, Germany. It’s maintained (not so living) and afterwards disappears.

The 1899 Courtalain rat king, today maintained in the Musee de Chateaudun.

March 1918: The rat king takes a holiday to Bogor, Java! Is that this glow of 10 rats among the reported out Central Europe, it’s the report.

1930s: In New Zealand, a bunch of eight twisted rats drops in the rafters of a shipping office. Clerks conquer it with a pitchfork and then, too generously, give it where it now resides. (The tails, the memorial found, were connected with horsehair.)

October 1937: Hark! A farmer’s servant finds nine gnarled rats in a starling’s nest in Büngern, Germany.

1940: In what’s believed to be the Lictenplatte district of Offenbach, Germany, a king of five young rats is located squirming in a pigsty.

June 1949: Back in Berlin, Germany, three separate rats are thrown into a bucket over the evening of June 2. The three rats have tangled into a knot, the next morning. An official with the regional rodent extermination section, Herr Otto Janack, disentangles the rodents and comes away believing that it’s all a bad joke — or among the bizarre, twisted wonders of nature.

1951: A rat king of four adults has been discovered in Châlons-sur-Marne, France (now renamed Châlons-en-Champagne).

1955’s Limburg rat kingexhibited at the Museum of Maastricht.

1955: The Natural History Museum of Maastricht picks up a crowd-pleasing specimen: a seven-strong rat king located in Limburg, Netherlands.

1961: Based on a Russian-language journal article concerning hollow-dwelling creatures, a rat king of unfamiliar size appears in Lithuania.

February 1963: A Dutch farmer in Rucphen, Netherlands, finds a loud squeal and follows the noise to a heap of bean sticks into his barn. When a rat is noticed by him, he attempts to pull it from the heap kills it. It refuses to budge–until the predator realizes that six rodents are attached to the rat. These, also, are exterminated along with the specimen is.

1966: A man by the name of Wierts attempts to create his own rat king by gluing the tails of six live albino lab rats. Their tails became increasingly entangled in a knot, when the animals attempted to twist free. Wierts then anesthetized the rats removed the glue to determine whether they remained knotted like a pretzel … and they all did.

1986’s Vendée rat kingheld in Nantes, France at the Natural History of Museum.

© Patrick JEAN / Muséum de Nantes, France

2005: Back in Saru, Estonia, a farmer finds a bunch of 16 fighters–nine of which are living–in a drop, their tails emptied by frozen sand. It’s taken to the Natural History Museum at the University of Tartu, where it is preserved in alcohol. (It is reported that the two other rat kings were found in Estonia in the 20th century, among which comprised 18 live rats [PDF]!)

The Saru rat king of 2005 at the Natural History Museum at the University of Tartu.

Length of Andrei Miljutin

from Welcome to the Dog couch http://www.thedogcouch.com/orlando-animal-shelter-sorts-dogs-into-hogwarts-houses/

[rinconbeauty-blog]

How to Hydrate Your Skin - 5 Hydrating Tips for Dry Skin

Hello friends

Today, this article lists routine and tips to help combat your over-dried skin and get that softness you always dreamt of. But first we need to know WHAT SKIN HYDRATION IS?

Hydration and water are interchangeable words that describe each other. When you think of hydration, it is natural to think of water first. Skin hydration is to increase the water content in your skin cells, which results in a healthy, smooth and a radiant complexion.

Why Is It So Important?

Dehydration and over-drying is a very common skin problem, which can be extremely irritating and hard to get rid of. It causes all sorts of discomfort including cracking, itching, flaking and peeling. I know how annoying that can be!

Always keep these dry skin care tips in mind

1)      Drink Plenty of Water-Our skin needs constant and regular moisturizing. There is so much hype on TV and magazines about how much water you need to drink each day, we tend to think that we all are marine mammals that cannot survive on land without water. The bottom line is that we all need lots of water to be healthy from the inside out. Every organ, cell and tissue in our body needs water to work properly. Fluids carry nutrients to your parts, regulate temperature, remove waste from the body, improve mental concentration, provide healthy bowel movements and help lubricate joints.

So, we can say that water is the simplest and most accessible beauty saviour for a dehydrating skin, to eliminate toxins effectively. Drinking two litres of water a day is very important.

Weather, soaps cleansers, moisturizers, bath with very hot water, add up to a dry skin which of course, can be combated with expensive moisturizers, lotions and creams, but why not hydrate your skin naturally.

2)      Diet-what you eat also affect the hydration of your skin. Healthy fats help in skin hydration and dunk bad cholesterol. Avocado is the best as a food as well as a wonderful, refreshing and a nourishing face mask. Water-rich foods and fluids like watermelon, cucumbers, celery, berries, lettuce and coconut water keep the water balance just right in your body.

“Whether you eat it or drink it, don’t stop till you get enough.”

3)      Anti-Oxidants and Omega-3-foods rich in anti-oxidants can minimize damage from toxins and help in building healthy skin cells. These include blue berries, beans, lentils, tomatoes and carrots, whereas, olive oil keeps your skin well hydrated. Foods rich in Omega-3 fatty acids include salmon that contribute to a glowing skin.

4)      Turn Down the Temperature-hot water dries out the skin of its moisture and wash away protective oils. So, opt for shorter and cooler sprays.

5)      Using a Toner-cleansers make the skin stripped and dry, so it is vital to use a toner with a moisturizing agent, immediately after a wash. Always stay away from skin care products that contain alcohol, synthetic perfumes, retinoid or alpha-hydroxyl acid which can leave your skin rough and dry.

Dry skin care for morning-wash your face with lukewarm water and try adapting your daily “cleanse, tone, moisturize” skin care routine, for a youthful glow. Drink lots of water during the day which keeps your body and skin cells well hydrated.

Dry skin care for night-remove all your makeup and day’s pollutants, with a gentle cleanser using lukewarm water. Immediately use a toner with a moisturizing agent like Shea butter, glycerine, oils like olive, coconut and jojoba.

Toners restore your skin’s PH balance after cleansing and clear away pore-clogging impurities.  It also protects and restores skin hydration.

When you think of a toner, you might picturize the harsh and alcohol-based astringent, but toners have come a long way and are formulated to help in a variety of skin concerns. It’s all about finding the ideal one that matches your skin type. So, I am here to help you find the best toner.

KLAIRS SUPPLE PREPARATION FACIAL TONER is an award-winning product, which is non-irritating, rejuvenates and restores hydration for the skin. Comes with balance PH level and calming formula, this product absorbs faster in the skin and can be used every day. KLAIRS FACIAL TONER is suitable for all skin types and comes in 180 ml volume. It helps moisturize dry skin and tidies its texture. A blend of various plant extracts and soothing ingredients, this toner absorbs faster into the skin, prolonging hydration by more than 20% than the conventional toners. With a collection of various natural oils and lavender, lemon, orange, eucalyptus, geramine, ylang ylang, this toner increases the stability of the skin, making it the first choice of all.

It is important to preserve a healthy skin, as it is the first line of defence against bacteria and viruses. Incorporate a hydrator into your daily routine and up the water content of the skin.

Enjoy reading!

[gymviralscom]

11 Home Remedies To Refresh Those Gym Sneakers You’re Afraid To Go Near

So, you’ve gotten to the point where your sneakers smell so bad, they could probably raise your childhood pets from the dead.

It’s fine. Really.No shame here.

Godknows I’ve been there, especially as someone who would prefer never to wear socks which is, as far as unpleasant foot stenchgoes, the number one culprit.

Luckily for all, there are countlesshome remedies to treat the bacteria-laden moisture that’s making your shoes go so, so sour.

1. Cat Litter’s Not Just For Your Kitty

Giphy

Stick a sock filled with cat litter in those stank-ass sneaks of yours.

Keep them in a ziplock bag in the freezer, and repeat at night.

The litter works as a deodorizer and a preventative measure before the reekhas a chance to get worse.

2. Charcoal

Charcoal is pretty much everywhere these days when it comes to beauty trends, but it can also be great for smelly sneakers.

Wrap a few little blocks of charcoal in a tight cloth or old nylons, and shove it into your shoes.

Why charcoal? It’s simply a natural deodorizer.

3. Get Your Sneakers Drunk

Giphy

That’s right, friends dunk those gnarly puppies in some alcohol.

Rubbing alcohol,that is, because it’s great for killing bacteria.

Put some in a spray bottle to get right into the crevices of your shoes, and let them dry out in the sunshine.

4. Black Tea Bags

Giphy

Thetannins found in black tea bags help neutralize odors.

You actually want to stick them in boiling water first. Squeeze out excess liquid, and let dry just a little before placing them inside over night.

5. Put Your Sneaks In The Freezer

Giphy

Putyour reeking Reeboks in a ziplock bag and freeze them overnight.

Pro tip: It might be a good idea to make sure they aren’t remotely close to anything edible

6.Don’t Throw Out Old Newspapers

Giphy

Newspaper has been said tosoak up smelland extra moisture (read: foot sweat).

It probably doesn’t hurt to put a spritz of baking soda in there too, you know, for good measure.

7. Get To The Foot Of The Problem With Powders

Talcum, baby powder, corn starch, and baking soda are all methods for odor removal, both as a remedy for the foot itself, and to heartily dust into your sneakers.

Plus, there are so many ways to make unique homemade foot powders, if you’re a DIY kind of person.

8. The Magic Of EssentialOils

Tea tree oil has antimicrobial properties, and is often recommended as a treatment for skin issues, among other things.

Rubbing your feet with tea tree oil before bed is thought to be a good preventative practice when it comes to steering clear of bad odors.

Plus, soaking those crumpled newspapers you’re keeping around with some eucalyptus, menthol, or tea tree oil helps to prevent and eliminate that stank.

9. Be Your Own Salt Bae

Giphy

Salt the interior of your canvas sneakersto soak up moisture and refresh your sneaks.

10. Soak Your Sneakers In Vinegar

Vinegar is basically king of the home remedy game, a cleaning agent from the gods.

This method can also work if applied directly to the shoes (which should be dried out afterward in the sun or in the dryer),or the foot itself.

11.Use Some Dryer Sheets

Giphy

Wear the dryer sheets inside your shoes.

This is an especially great tipfor anyone who gets a little self-conscious about those unpleasant smells if they have to take their shoes off in public.

But be careful, as some dry sheets have gnarly chemicals, so go as natural as you can.

Oh, also, at the end of the day, don’t be like me. Just wear some damn socks.

Read more: http://www.elitedaily.com

The post 11 Home Remedies To Refresh Those Gym Sneakers You’re Afraid To Go Near appeared first on GymVirals.com - The Latest Gym Virals.

from GymVirals.com – The Latest Gym Virals http://www.gymvirals.com/11-home-remedies-to-refresh-those-gym-sneakers-youre-afraid-to-go-near/

[yesilovehorses-blog1]

Help Your Horse Beat the Heat

New Post has been published on http://lovehorses.net/help-your-horse-beat-the-heat/

Help Your Horse Beat the Heat

Help your horse cool out after exercise by hosing off the whole body, sweat-scraping him, and hosing him again.

Photo: Photos.com

As tough as steamy summers can be on humans, they can be even tougher on horses. That's because instead of choosing how they'll deal with the heat, horses often have to depend on us to make the right management choices for them.

For advice on making those choices, we've turned to two equine veterinarians practicing in Florida, where heat plus humidity can deliver a double whammy to horses. At the University of Florida, in Gainesville, Amanda House, DVM, Dipl. ACVIM, is a clinical associate professor in the veterinary school and a state extension specialist. And Heather Farmer, DVM, owner of Equine Performance Veterinary Practice, in Lake County, Florida, tends to equine competitors that must work and perform throughout the summer.

Turnout Tips

According to House, horses can live outdoors during summer months 24/7 if, in addition to adequate forages, they are provided with two must-have ingredients: fresh water and shade.

Water, in particular, must be plentiful and readily available. Position troughs in pastures so one horse can't block others from the water source; if using water buckets, provide one more bucket than you have horses turned out. Check water levels periodically, as even automatic waterers can clog. Clean buckets daily, and dump, clean, and refill troughs every two to three days, since stagnant water provides an ideal breeding ground for mosquitoes. Provide free-choice access to vitamin/mineral salt blocks in pastures if they're not available in each horse's stall.

As for shade, "being able to escape from the direct heat of the sun is really critical," says House, adding that "in this part of Florida we have large oak trees that provide excellent shade." Besides trees, she says, a shelter such as a run-in shed can help horses escape the elements.

In Farmer's experience most horses prefer to seek solace from sun under trees, where there's usually a little breeze, rather than in a windowless lean-to or run-in shed. And "as long as there isn't lightning or a real downpour, most are happy enough staying out in the rain," she says.

For times when horses aren't standing in the shade, Farmer says mesh fly sheets with ultraviolet (UV) protection work well to help shield a horse from the sun's rays as well as biting insects, without making making their wearers any hotter. She also recommends fly masks, "because flies are so annoying in the summertime that horses' eyes tear constantly; and because without masks, horses that like to roll and 'itch' in the sand can end up with corneal ulcers."

Masks also block light well enough to help prevent sunburn on sun-sensitive, nonpigmented areas such as those seen around some Paint horses' eyes, says Farmer, and "long-nose" masks provide at least some protection to easily burned noses.

Especially where shade is limited or absent, Farmer suggests limiting turnout to four hours or less each day. "(Turn out from) early morning until noonish, then again for a couple of hours after 5:00," she advises. Once or twice during turnout on particularly hot days in these shadeless pastures, check horses for dehydration: Does a fold of pinched skin snap back quickly or slowly when released (the latter indicating dehydration)? Are gums a healthy pink color and wet to the touch, or are they pale and tacky? Also observe respiration (a normal respiratory rate for an adult horse is eight to 12 breaths per minute), because "a horse that isn't dissipating heat adequately by sweating will breathe faster, trying to cool down by exhaling," Farmer says. If your horse shows any of these signs of dehydration, bring him in from the sun, hose him, and sweat-scrape off most of the moisture; when his breathing slows, he can be turned out again.

Barns: Go with the Flow

For heat relief in the barn, says Farmer, "the biggest thing is to keep air moving." Your prime ally? The fact that heat rises. Louvered roof vents or cupola vents let out hot air, and an exhaust fan can amplify the effect. Open doors and windows allow intake of fresh outside air, which warms, rises, and draws in yet more air. Installing window- or table-type fans–mounting them securely so fans and cords can't be reached by curious muzzles–promotes air circulation and, thus, equine comfort.

Airflow also plays an important role in insect control. "Flies aren't very good at flying in wind," Farmer says, "so fans in or above the stalls help," creating a current in which flies cannot fly (or alight on horses) well.

In stalls, just as in paddocks and pastures, horses need constant access to clean, fresh water. Some horses habitually dunk hay or dribble grain into their water, which can gunk up the bottom of a bucket or block a waterer's fill hole; combat this by dumping and cleaning buckets and checking waterers regularly. On waterers with a pedal horses must press with their noses for fresh water, make sure debris isn't jammed under the pedal. Checking these water sources also allows you to monitor your horse's water intake and discover if he's not drinking enough sooner than later (a 1,100-lb horse at rest should typically drink 4-9 gallons per day).

Workouts and Cool-Downs

University of Guelph researchers determined that horses succumb to heat stress three to 10 times faster during workouts than their two-legged counterparts. Horses are large and possess higher percentages of active muscle than humans do during exercise–muscle that produces a lot of heat during use. Also, less sweat evaporates from equine athletes' bodies as compared to human athletes simply because the horse produces much more sweat than can be evaporated.

To avoid heat stress, House says horse owners should "focus on exercising and training in the coolest hours: very early morning or later in the evening."

When such timing isn't possible, Farmer advises shortening workouts–instead of 45-minute sessions, maybe go for 20 or 25 minutes–and monitoring breathing. "If you feel the horse's sides heaving in and out, or you see his nostrils flare excessively, it's time to let him walk–not stand still, but walk quietly until his breathing is normal again," she says. If, after about 10 minutes of walking, "everybody else's horses are breathing normally but yours is still huffing and puffing, you may want to have his cardiovascular fitness evaluated–and have your vet check that there isn't some underlying physical problem."

After working, begin cool-down by walking, helping your horse's muscles stay supple while his respiratory rate recovers. Then remove his tack and hose his neck and chest areas first, Farmer says. "The jugular vein is right there (in the neck); cooling that off you cool the blood coming back to the heart, which cools the body internally," she says. "Then hose off the whole body, sweat-scrape him, and hose again. That pulls heat out faster than just hosing and letting water sit on the skin," which heats up quickly, counteracting the desired cooling.

An alcohol bath followed by drying in front of a fan can accelerate heat dissipation; alcohol dries the skin, however, so save this for when a horse has been worked particularly harder than usual.

A horse whose respiration hasn't slowed much despite hosing (if, for instance, the water from the hose is warm, as often is the case in summer) might require additional help. Wrap bags of ice in a couple of towels for five minutes, then spread the chilled towels across the horse's back, says Farmer. Or use towels that have been soaked in ice water to wash him off.

Effective cooling and recovery can be especially difficult, House says, for "horses with longer hair coats that don't shed out completely–for instance, older horses with (the metabolic condition) equine Cushing's disease. Clipping their coats for spring and summer helps ensure that they can be adequately cooled down."

Top Summer Concerns

Before summer heat hits its peak, have a veterinarian conduct a general wellness exam on your horse. "We vaccinate in spring and fall, at minimum; if your vet's already at the barn for that, have her or him take a couple of minutes to listen to the heart, listen to the lungs, maybe also evaluate weight and diet," Farmer says. "Checking twice a year, you'll catch most problems when they're really minor. And if a horse isn't sweating, you can take steps to improve things before the season gets really hot."

The most common heat-related problem Farmer sees in horses is fatigue caused by hard work plus insufficient fluid intake and/or insufficient replacement of electrolytes lost through sweating. The culprit is most likely a distracted human who didn't refill an empty water bucket or replace a salt block. Because, given the opportunity, most horses will correct this problem on their own. "If you provide a salt block with electrolytes, they'll eat what they need to replenish what they've lost," Farmer says. "Or if you hang one water bucket with electrolytes mixed in and another with just fresh water, they'll pick the bucket they need to drink from."

But horses, too, can get distracted, particularly at competitions, drinking less than they need to "because they're busy watching everything going on," says Farmer. Others can become picky about water that tastes different than their usual supply. For a reluctant drinker at a horse show, bring along a couple of barrels of water from home or accustom the horse to a flavoring agent (maybe electrolytes or a capful of honey) in water at home, then mix in the same flavoring at the show.

Another problem–more common in the Southeast, though not unheard-of elsewhere–is anhidrosis. This condition is characterized by an inability to sweat, usually accompanied by high body temperature and increased breathing rate. Because sweating is how the body cools itself, a horse that can't sweat might overheat enough to cause severe internal damage.

The first corrective step for anhidrosis is to adjust workload so the horse doesn't need sweat's cooling effect as often. Farmer also has had some degree of success in treating the condition with a feed supplement designed to increase sweat production; talk to your vet about such solutions. If that doesn't help, she suggests a course of electrolytes delivered via noninvasive dermal patch.

For many horses that cannot sweat, hot-weather riding is out of the question. The physical stress is "too much for their bodies to take," Farmer says. "The respiratory rate will get very high very quickly, and it's not worth the risk." Owners of anhidrotic horses should take a break from riding during the hottest months, especially August, she notes.

Take-Home Message

Keeping any horse healthy and safe in hot weather is a challenge, but one you can meet with knowledge, planning, careful observation, and prompt response to signs of discomfort or struggle. In other words, contrary to the popular slogan, do sweat the small stuff.

About the Author

D.J. Carey Lyons

D.J. Carey Lyons is a lifelong resident of Chester County, Pa. She also has written for USDF Connection, Practical Horseman, Equine Images, and Dressage & CT.