#might eat those while driving tbh

[confines]

me and my grandmother and cousin are going to visit an ancient monument next week and i'm sooo excited. because of the monument, for sure, because that is fucking crazy, but also honestly because i'm going to pack lots and lots of foods and drinks and supplies and i've got the route all planned out and all possible stops along the way. idk why i'm like this but planning and executing a trip is literally about 50% of my enjoyment.

[pilfappreciator]

I just saw your request guidelines! how about a John Dory x gn!reader that babies him? he's all abt being the leader and bossy and such, it would be cute when he turns soft and lets the reader baby him.

Ah yes, love me some middle-aged dumb jock "all about that van life" squating in the woods and interrupting strangers weddings for no reason ex-boyband member fluff 😘

John Dory x Reader: his ass needs pampering

Includes: GN! Reader, touch-starved John Dory, mentions of prolonged isolation, slight angst

🥽 It'll take some time (and lots of persuasion on your end) before John Dory even CONSIDERS the idea of letting someone else take the reigns

🥽 He was forced to grow up pretty quick when he was younger. He was the oldest of five and it didn't seem like any of them had parents to fall back during their childhood. Sure, there was Grandma Rosiepuff but it wasn't quite the same... and after Brozone started to take off in popularity, John Dory felt it was his time to step up as a leader

🥽 Obviously, having that kind of pressure on your shoulders while growing up in the public eye doesn't bode well for someone's self-worth

🥽 I feel like John Dory found comfort in being in charge tho?? Like he likes when things go his way so he definitely appreciated the feeling of control lol

🥽 BUT LIKE I SAID, this man CAN be talked into taking the backseat for once!!

🥽 Start out small. Maybe do little favors for him, like grabbing him a tool or item he needs before he goes for it himself, or holding doors open so he can walk through, or using your thumb to wipe some crumbs or sauce off his face (this guys a messy eater, don't even ATTEMPT to convince me otherwise)

🥽 Tbh he probably won't even notice what you're doing at first. He'll just be like "aw thanks babe :]" and move his ass right along

🥽 He'll only start taking the hint once you start escalating those favors. Next thing he knows you're offering to drive Rhonda so he can relax, or making his meals for him, or offering massages

🥽 I mean... he might not refuse that last one but that's besides the point shahlskdja

🥽 It's only when you start taking on some of his chores and usual manual labor that he starts speaking up

🥽 "Look, babe, I appreciate what you're tryin' to do but it's fine! I've got this!"

"No, it's cool, I'll do it."

"Seriously, you don't have to."

"I know! But I want to."

"Really, your boy's got thi---"

"You sit your ass down and enjoy that sandwich I made you, John Dory."

"Okay o_o"

🥽 Yeahhhh you're definitely gonna have to be firm with this man if you actually want him to relax. Maybe make his ass do a puzzle or something askjdhas

🥽 I mean it's not like you're taking away his whole sense of agency or anything. He still has the freedom to go and do as he pleases, it's just that now he's got you looking over his shoulder, ready to jump in once he so much as STARTS overworking himself. It's gonna take him some time to get used to being doted on. Fully expect some pouty looks being thrown your way and to hear him grumbling under his breath

🥽 BUT THEN YOU START ESCALATING EVEN FURTHER?? Suddenly you're buying/making him things he needs, like new tools or equipment??? Maybe you two are out on the town one day and you spot him eyeing something through the window of one of the shops, and a few days later—

🥽 "WHOA!! WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?!"

"Oh, I just saw it the other day and thought of you! :D"

"...Babe, that's a grappling hook."

"Did I stutter?"

🥽 John Dory starts coming around to the idea of being spoiled after that lol

🥽 I'm like 99% sure everyone in the fandom agrees that this man? This guy who's been living all alone in the wilderness and probably eating insects for nutrients for like 20 years??

🥽 TOUCH-STARVED AS HELL

🥽 I mean he was already pretty touchy-feely BEFORE you started pampering him... but then you start giving him more massages (specifically back/shoulder/foot rubs)... and getting him to lay his head on your stomach/lap after a long day... and running your fingers across his scalp all the while...

🥽 Better have a mop and bucket on standby cuz if this man melts any further, he'll be a puddle ;))

🥽 Definitely starts to seek you out after he's had a bad day/been in his head too long. Lay some kisses on his forehead pretty pls <33

🥽 WORDS OF AFFIRMATION!! DROP SOME PRAISE AND COMPIMENTS ON THIS GUY!!! I mean he probably got plenty of that during his Brozone days but most of them were aimed at his looks/music

🥽 I mean he's definitely not gonna complain if you call him a hunk but I digress

Not even gonna lie to yall... When the first teaser for the movie dropped I was like "Hmm... idk if the movie's gonna as good as the last one but at least Branch's long lost brother is hot"

ALKSHDJLKJAKSD IM SORRY BUT WHY DID THEY MAKE ALL THE CHARACTERS HOT WHAT THE FUCK

[omghallucinations]

ateez mingi: time to ruin my life :)

my og impression of mingi's chart stands. can this kid. catch. a motherfucking bREAK?? holy shit bro. it was bad enough when i just knew about the fixed grand cross (with saturn and uranus and mars in there dude like, please, malefic your way to the door). but... 8TH HOUSE SUN??? GIRL???? 8TH HOUSE VIRGO VENUS SQUARE 12TH HOUSE PLUTO??? HONEY??? BABE???? BRO??????? i mean, sun and moon at home is very cute and he does have many positive placements and aspects (that 1st house neptune is cute for example) and all the squares are actually pretty positive long term imo but like, the baggage is so heavy.

god. my heart goes out to u mingi. i mean bright side he is a very compelling combination of talented magnetic and troubled, so. tender-hearted bad boy core?

fixed grand cross: my way or the highway we aren't going ANYWHERE

tbh i genuinely love a square. that aspect supplies energy. nothing gets done without a "hard aspect"--like if you were comfortable, why would you work to improve or change things? howmstever. there can be. too many squares. squares, like saturn, tend to really trade in Fear and Anxiety, and with saturn in mingi's Super Strong Square Factory... Anxiety. Very A Lot Anxiety. oohhhh mingi, honey, are u okay, i love you.

so mingi has a textbook grand fixed cross--see how that square goes all the way around? that's the "grand" in the grand cross. intense influx of energy but like... in fixed signs we're struggling.

we've got...

aquarius uranus "manic pixie dream girl" (14.45º) in the 2nd house

scorpio mars "she's cute but a psycho" (15.40º) in the 11th house

leo sun "ME! by taylor swift" (16.17º) in the 8th house

taurus saturn "have i done enough work to go home???" (16.48º) in the 5th house

(u know how those degrees are all very close? mingi's grand cross is not a "kind of" cross. people usually give a big orb to oppositions and squares, so lots of people might have this aspect kind of, but mingi, no. it's a strong ass cross. the biggest orb is 2º, and most of the other ones are less than 1º. cannot overestimate how important this cross is to his life)

as fixed signs, aquarius, scorpio, leo and taurus all think they're right in a major way and they are not willing to listen and learn, babe. a cardinal sign square or grand cross is very "i will turn this car around." a mutable grand cross is full ass lost. meanwhile fixed signs are stalled out at a random intersection bc they all want to go in different directions and they will not compromise. they're just sat there giving each other the silent treatment, for hours.

mingi feels really stuck sometimes. the fire is blazing away, but the walls are staying put. it creates a fixed idea of how things are, a relentless energy that can eat itself. terrified of losing security. strength becomes an identity. he can get super pissy bc who wouldn't be if they were stuck in all that? he's both 100% always sure he is right about everything and staggeringly aware of the multiplicity of life and that no one knows what truth is, since a grand cross has one of each element so the energy is split.

scorpio mars in the 11th his personal energy/drive to survive if u will 1) takes no prisoners and 2) gets supercharged in public spaces (11th house) like groups and friendships, but also with his goals and ideals.

there's an intellectual vibe to the 11th--it's associated with aquarius--so mingi probably has the ability to remove his emotions in certain situations in order to focus on his goals and making decisions and the bigger picture

(thinking about hongjoong prank telling them he was leaving and mingi immediately like, am i the leader now, while yunho is crying in the bathroom, that's scorpio mars in the 11th)

he's not unemotional--he has a cancer moon dude--but he does have the ability to compartmentalize and kind of be like, ah my intellectual toughness, u wouldn't understand,,

(until his emotions bust out of the cage and they're doing not fine)

mars in the 11th detaches itself a bit to survive--stows the emotions away for later so mingi can make hard decisions

the 11th house is ruled by mars, so that's a strong partnership and an amplifier

you can say co-ruled too, and if we run with that the other ruler is pluto in sagittarius in the 12th house--so he might be driven to act by his deep hidden sensitivity, nebulous guilt feelings or need for meaning. also his deep conviction he is right lol.

leo sun in the 8th well the sun is at home in leo, he can really shine and flourish in his identity with her--unless there are mitigating factors, it comes naturally to take the spotlight as a leo sun. and then uh, we add the 8th house! a strong goth scorpio flavor!

his #journey/search (sag rising) is about his identity (leo sun) and he's gotta do deep transformation (8th house) and um... he has to face some demons. hey demons it's me, ya boy energy

with the 8th house he's really gonna have to look at his own behaviors and choices and how he asserts his ego and like... figure out what's up with all that, psychologically

he has karmic stuff x 1000 with his many 4th, 8th and 12th house placements, so mingi is really sensitive to stuff--his ego (leo) will feel attacked whenever some unconscious possibly past life-y sore spot gets touched, and it's pretty unpredictable

(just between us bros, the 99z have insane and often touchy past life karmic connections so it's not surprising he's primed to be activated by a lot of different things)

the 8th house is ruled by the sun, who lives there, so the whole house gets a boost

the sun is in the jupiter decan, which is the middle part of leo basically, and that connects nicely to his sag rising--expansive, searching, tendency to run away??

(our first two planets in the square are personal/inner planets--they're energy that mingi produces in his personality easily. more outer planets tend to influence inner planets rather than vice versa (like mingi's saturn is working on his sun, his sun doesn't work on his saturn) so the way the squares and oppositions interact are gonna come in here.)

saturn in the 5th something in mingi's childhood felt suuuuper restrictive, like he had to be on guard all the time--home, school, society, whatever--and probably very focused on everything being practical and realistic and grounded (which a leo sun would hate, they live for the Drama).

it restricted his identity in a major way (saturn square leo sun)--that shit makes him self conscious as hell, he'll be fully Himself and vibing one minute and then the next he's like UGHHHHH whYYY am i too MUCH! and beat himself up over it

the 5th house is also the leo house which really doubles the sun-saturn connection--there's a certain amount of enforced practicality and possibly judgment in the way mingi expresses himself that is more learned than part of his personality

the 5th house is ruled by mingi's virgo venus in the 8th, which underscores that judgement quality. he's probably learned to be harsh on himself and others and value the appearance of things, the utility of things, the status quo, which conflicts super a lot with his aquarius uranus--he's learned to be critical to protect himself, but it sux also.

square 2nd house aquarius uranus--problems with authority!! sexy. hot. i am telling on myself too much with that lmao. point being: can't tell him shit. also he also feels lacking a lot--like he doesn't have enough to offer people or enough resources/ability to support what we wants to accomplish creatively or even what "authority people" will let him accomplish maybe? but this makes him want to work even harder--still there's a lingering inferiority feeling that bothers him a lot

opposite scorpio mars in the 11th--conform or be himself? go with the status quo or break free from the norm?? stay put and be safe or completely throw it off and transform himself? fight to the death for his ideals or keep it casual and restrained? big questions!! he probably bounces back and forth between these 2 extremes and it might startle the people around him lmao. one minute he is a rebel without a cause the next minute he wants to conform so bad (for safety). confusing!!

(just let him bounce between the extremes lmao, listen no one is gonna be able to help him find balance here he has to do it himself. this man is so stubborn it's insane. if you tell mingi not to do something he will almost always immediately do it)

aquarius uranus in the 2nd loves to dismantle the system, and the 2nd house is your resources. yeah money is part of it, but it's all resources. mingi might want to like, blow everything up and start over, on some level, but also he clings onto his resources (possessions, people, ideas) for fear of losing them. his values are different from conventional values and he is naturally rebellious against the status quo. also he probably wants to be super self-reliant, so he doesn't ask for help much!!

his resources might fluctuate really intensely over his life--yes, money, but also personal and professional support, personal energy reserves, mental health, all that

he's very aware that he's a unique guy, and he values that difference--the manic pixie weirdo planet is part of his resources as well as affecting them

square scorpio mars in the 11th... 😏 ok it's not actually like super sexy of a placement inherently it's just hot to me, ok!! absolute tons of energy, courage, drive, ability to make tough choices other people usually can't but the energy is super unpredictable and you, again, cannot tell him what to do

there is.... also with the opposition to 8th house.... a lot of sexual energy. and um. creativity? and sensuality? ha ha. anyway. also he may be accident prone.

aquarius is co-ruled by uranus and saturn--uranus is at home and in the mercury decan, which makes communication really important--also very changeable. he might unexpectedly open up and spill all his secrets one day and then clam the hell up the next. and saturn is really getting in uranus's business, huh. it also just continues to bold the influence of his square, since it connects these two again. mingi really feels the burden of Society and the expectations to conform

opposite leo sun his ego and identity is destined for some real intense self-development and transformation, baby!!! the 8th house is already transformation and uranus is gonna supercharge it

also this gives very "bed rot schedule" to me, like uranus opposite the sun is now u see me, now u don't. i think mingi probably needs periodic times to be completely alone in order to like... process all of the stuff he's learned about himself

his uranus is retrograde, which speeds up the urgency--uranus always wants to break free (.mp3) and individuate but with a retrograde uranus that impulse is much stronger. if mingi doesn't figure out who he is apart from societal standards, uranus is gonna force it on him somehow.

uranus conjunct south node--past life stuff babe. he might have subconscious past life situations that fuel a fear of rejection--whatever makes him try to suppress his difference and conform for safety purposes. fear of being shunned kind of thing. it's hard for him to like, fully commit to being himself.

oooh girl, virgo venus in the 8th house square pluto in the 12th 👀

mingi... 100% compatibility with toxic relationships. honey. babe. oh, it's BAD. 😭 he really puts up with shit he should not. he 1000% is like "i love passion" when him and his partner fight constantly about everything and they both cry all the time and then they kiss in the rain one time and mingi's like, u wouldn't understand, this is true love.

like. virgo and venus are not compatible. and then his venus is retrograde. this can be fine. my venus is retrograde. sometimes it's not a big deal it just means things take a while in this part of life. but with everything else going on here... GIRL.

venus retrograde--he's kind of destined to get things wrong for a while before things go right. also life really wants him to figure out his alternative lifestyle (whatever that is) lmao

virgo venus-- well she is... practical??? realistic??? very acts of service???? but um. mingi gets in his own way a lot. he is very Anxiety and nitpicks himself and others out of fear. u know "perfect is the enemy of the good"? that was written for virgo because wow does she need to hear it. mingi cannot relax. he is constantly freaking out and in crisis. (babe!!! 🥺) and crisis is kind of virgo's whole ... thing....

venus in the mercury decan -- ... anxiety. sorry buddy. also he really needs to communicate with his partner and with people in general.

venus in the 8th house--oh mingi wants to like, swap vials of blood on the first date. jk. unless...? i mean he needs a very intense feeling of commitment. mingi is insanely loyal and he expects his partner or partners to be too.

8th house and 12th house both love like. karma. transformation. black holes in the spiritual body. complexes and prophecies or something. occult shit.

8th house 😍 power and death and masochism as a treat 12th house😍 disappearing into an alternate dimension

u know??

with pluto in the 12th, mingi has some real escapist tendencies. maybe he should be careful about like... substances??? especially with neptune in his 1st house??? ha ha??? anyway.

pluto in the 12th means that the Spirit Vibes of humanity plugged into the mingi outlet and now he's downloading all these files that aren't his. um. was that too insane of a simile? i mean pluto in the 12th can really give you the Depression and the Weight of Human Suffering

on some level mingi might feel Responsible for all sorts of shit that's not on him, and he's gonna have to find Higher Meaning in life in a major way in order to feel fulfilled (as a sag rising too)

but pluto square venus.. well. potential for butterfly meme "is this toxic relationship the meaning i've been searching for?"

bright side!!!! both pluto and venus are also chatting to jupiter, mingi's chart ruler.

pluto quincunx jupiter is like an intrusive thought lmao. mingi's kind of harsh pluto disagrees with his cute 4th house jupiter, they're in constant conflict. his idealism basically and his optimism don't agree with his Vague Feelings of Terror and Guilt.

however he can harness the Power of pluto to intensify his I'm Right (philosophically) energy (not necessarily a pro ha hahaha)

taurus jupiter is on a constant, slow and steady quest for meaning and knowledge and she's gonna gain more and more over mingi's lifetime--all this niggling past life stuff harshes his mellow but also agrees that it really wants him to find meaning and dismantle said past life stuff

jupiter is strongly trine venus, so they are loving each other. this is very cute and adorable. people really like mingi! he's fun and enthusiastic! shit often pays off for him! there is a kernel of optimism in his heart that never dies!

since jupiter is his chart ruler, i think when people meet mingi they might experience both of these--like being strongly endeared by him, and also sensing kind of a darkness or a lostness in him too.

lilith conjunct ascendant

mingi is very alluring to people (sex appeal off the charts) but he fears they may Only Want Him for His Body, u know what i mean. he very easily uses his sexual magnetism and sometimes thinks it is like,.. his only weapon i guess? but he also fears that's all people want from him. he may go cold on people randomly bc of this. however he's suuuuper magnetic and charismatic, people probably get jealous of him easily and also often read him wrong.

lilith in sagittarius--he can be really reckless and not see how much he is fully running wild and making his loved ones worry sometimes

lilith in the 1st house, in general-- his moods REALLY affect the people around him and he doesn't realise this. i also have this placement and the other day i was cranky and i was like, huh wait are my terrible vibes really exuding out of me accidentally because i had recently thought about lilith in the 1st house and then i realized that i fully was exuding bad vibes so hard that everyone around me couldn't help but feel weird and i could tell they felt weird! i truly did not know that this was happening i thought i was just Keeping To Myself. this is something mingi does too. he can either fill the room with Happy Positive Energy or he can make everyone go like ... ooooh uh-oh. trainee mingi? i think a lilith in the 1st gives some amount of scorpio rising energy. you'll retreat from people and self-isolate and then maybe blame others for that too.

cancer moon in the 7th house

ok i did a write-up of all of ateez cancer moons already but i wanna connect that here bc of mingi's aforementioned relationship issues--he has a 7th house moon so he really feels the need to connect with others and have that reflected back. adorably, yunho also has a 7th house moon, stop that's so cute aughhhh.

man. what a chart and i didn't even get into his 29 degree cancer mercury or his chiron conjunct juno in the 11th house!!!

mingi... hats off to you bud. that's a lot going on. however, again, tons of potential here bc his chart is forcing him to deal with his shit, yay! does it feel good in the moment? absolutely not!!! but end result wisdom and strength so idk??? man this is a heavy load though. mingi has to do a lot of karmic untangling. bright side he really is so magnetic and compelling and has a ton of ability??

my heart hurts!!! i love him!! i gotta GO!!!

[daphwritesworld]

Right! Horny thoughts!

Because I must fulfill my Duty as ❤️‍🔥anon.

Just thinking about Keira being an EATAH, no like really, Just Keira being an absolute munch and getting down with It for a good hour (even though she could definitely keep going, She stops out of pity for you). The First time She goes down on R, She thinks She might ascend to the heavens, that's how good Keira is.

And she'll get down anywhere, at home, out for lunch, at training, at her parents house (She once ate R out against a wall in her childhood room)

Ans when R says She doesn't want her to, Keira gets all whiny and begging because She NEEDS to taste R.

So yeah that's it

-❤️‍🔥

OH MT GOD YESS!! MUNCH KEIRA 🤭 she could stay between R’s thighs all day long, but she knows that’d just be selfishly for her own pleasure. but god can she seduce R into giving up that pussy any and everywhere. Keira has mastered the art of foreplay to a T. She knows where to kiss, pinch, and squeeze, to get R to agree to let her head nestle between her legs. the amount of times one of the girls (from either teams tbh) have walked into the gym late a night thinking they’re the last ones there….just to be met with the back of Keira’s head and R’s legs spread wide open with the most pornographic moans echoing throughout the room. they are genuinely so fed the fuck up those two horny bastards.

oh lord and the amount of times Keira has got R into the backseat of her car at lunch. always starts with a promise of going to get R her favorite food, but ends with Keira eating her favorite meal right there in the parking lot. she of course gives R the lunch she had packed for herself since she gets some scolding for lying about feeding her baby. R does NOT play about her food.

oh god and at her parents house!?! Keira has never in a million years done anything even remotely sexual in her parent’s house out of pure respect….until she brought R home to meet them. how could she not devour her girl’s pussy when she shows up in a dress that hugs her curves just enough to tease. something modest enough for her parents, but sexy enough to drive Keira herself absolutely insane. the way she holds R up against the wall like it’s nothing— not even breaking a sweat as her tongue spilts her girlfriend open while her family cooks dinner right down below them. it’s dirty, disgusting, and downright diabolical. to have someone be this good with their mouth, but not allowed to make a peep? oh that is torture. R cannot look her parents in the eye without a deep shade of red covering her cheeks. they just think she’s nervous and a cutie. telling her “Don’t let this one get away, Keira! she’s an absolute sweetheart.”

and i feel like R would definitely use that as a punishment for Keira🤣 Keira watches ahead in the show they watch together? she can’t eat R out until the next morning. Keira pisses R off in general? “Fine! But your mouth is in timeout!” and Keira almost falls over when she hears that. “Babe? Oh come onnnnnn. I was just kidding,” and now Keira is on her knees in front of R with a look of terror on her face. “Please don’t do this! It’s been forever since you last let me get a taste of you!” and she ends it with pressing kisses into R’s thighs. but R just pushes Keira’s head away as she gets up and starts walking up stairs. “Babe you ate me out like 2 hours ago,” R rolls her eyes as she stomps up the stairs. Keira is hot on her trail tho, puppy dog eyes in full effect and whines of complaint flowing from her lips. Keira will literally do any and everything to get back into R’s pants i mean good graces!! she will become a cook, a maid, and a begger. i’m talking her face buried into R’s chest as she begs and whines and pleads for forgiveness. and she will not give up until R’s just fed up and pushing Keira’s head between her thighs. “Then shut up and make me cum already then!!” and Keira just smiles because….after R had made her beg and plead and wait like that? yeah she’s not stopping until R’s blacking out from the pleasure firing off in her brain.

[the-s1lly-corner]

jealous/clingy spot/johnathon headcannons?

Jealous and Clingy hcs for Jonathan/Spot!

Knocking this out before I take a nap (eepy <\3)! Usually I would split this into 2 sections buuuuut since I think there wasnt much change in this department I'm not gonna bother!!

So!! Yeah!!

Fair warning that this will probably be OOC and/or have mistakes since I'm eepy but I'm too stubborn to leave this for later ☝️😔

This ones gonna be on the shorter side, maybe

Idk I write these opening/author notes before + as I'm writing

Starting off Jonathan is.

Whoooboy!

Like he tries not to be toxic about it, he doesn't want to hurt you or drive you away, and that sentiment is still there even after he becomes spot

He doesn't have many friends and he'll never forgive himself if he makes you leave

What he needs is loads of reassurance that you only have eyes for him, and communication is key! Let him know when you're going to be late or going to hang out with someone for a bit; if he sees you with someone else, or another *guy* it'll eat him up all day

Though sometimes he can still jump to conclusions so arguments are inevitable every now and then but again, communication and patience is key; he'll never go as far as to accuse you of cheating though (unless he truly has reason to suspect)

He doesn't think hes the prettiest, or nicest, or smartest, or-

I mean of all people, you chose him?

He feels lucky to have you, but he believes you can do so much better than him and that thought is constantly plaguing his mind

Not very self assured tbh

After the collider incident his self image issues get way way WAY worse; from the fact he can hardly consider himself human, to his new powers, to the fact everyone from his old life dropped him

Except, for you

You stayed

Through it all the fact you stuck around does give him comfort, more so than if you were to meet him after the collider incident

Like

Its one thing to meet him as spot

But I feel its another to see and know how he was before, as just Jonathan, and to still stick around after his life was flipped upside down

His jealousy still spikes up every now and then

As a side thing I feel like as Jonathan he liked having you in his sight and, if possible, he liked holding your hand. Think of it as a "you're still here, you're here for me, you're not going anywhere and you love me," sort of thing

As spot that turns into him wanting to be even closer to you anytime he has the chance

The whole "oh I'm not the most (x)" thing REALLY amps up when he becomes spot, especially in the beauty department

Remind him that you dont mind the holes, shower him in affection

Overall it's going to be a while until hes confident in himself, both as Jonathan and as Spot

So please be patient with him, but remember to set clear boundaries for the relationship! I feel like with a lot of hc lists for insecurity and jealousy stuff, boundaries are hardly touched up on!! No hate to those writing like that and not including it but I feel like its important to stress that the other partner has the right to enforce their own things

Though that might be because when I was younger, jealous hcs were more... yandere-esque or getting REAL close to it, and it kinda. Made me think that was normal and desirable and okay in relationships so

Idk maybe that's just that part of me wanting to prevent that from happening to someone else

With that aside, ultimately Jonathan/Spot will try his best to not get too intense or pushy or controlling; again, he loves you, and he doesn't want to love you

[charmac]

hey so just curious, i'm asking this as someone who pretty strongly believes that dennis is gay, but wants to understand other perspectives. so it seems like the common consensus of a lot of sunnyblr is that dennis is bisexual but dee is a lesbian. so i was just wondering about those headcanons, since it seems like lesbian dee and gay dennis have sort of similar trains of logic behind them (heterosexuality = societal power). just need to let you know that i love your blog and i didn't mean for this to come across as confrontational, but i just wanted to explore ideas which are different from my own. thank you xoxo

For sure, and this doesn't come across as controversial at all lol I love discussing this stuff and that you're interested in hearing my perspective means a lot tbh

(Just to preface, I wrote most of this while high and watching baseball, but that's when my brain works best so not to worry)

So as for the common consensus of "Bi Dennis, Lesbian Dee" in the wider Fandom, I think a lot of that is rooted in the idea that the Gang are the "letters" of LGBT, so to speak. Not to say that's a bad thing, but just that a lot of people kinda like that "headcanon" as, for as far as canon is concerned, both of their sexualities are currently still ambiguous and this works and makes sense, so I think a lot of the fan-art and text posts/tweets/whatever veer that way.

Past that idea, I'm not actually sure what the majority of the Fandom thinks of Dee's canon sexuality? While right now I assume lesbian Dee would win, I am actually kinda surprised how few people voted gay Dennis (so far) in his canon sexuality poll, so I think a Dee version of that poll might be a good follow up to answer this...

Though the difference in what we see in Dee and Dennis' portrayals of their sex lives is what I think leans people more toward Bi Dennis and Lesbian Dee:

On Dennis: There's a point we're at with him where he.. has a system for men. He's not in denial about fucking guys, he's probably currently having sex with men (well clearly he's having (e)sex with one), he might have been sleeping with men the entire goddamn time, but he's still been pursuing women and drooling over breasts. He finds women (their bodies, really) sexually attractive. And for as much as the idea of inherently having power over women drives him, it's well established that the use of his Systems is what really gets him off, and he has one to manipulate and control men (and he's had it for awhile)... I think if Dennis wasn't sexually attracted to women, he would have just stopped—because he's clearly had no romantic interest in a woman ever in his life (briefly mistaking Maureen for something along those lines and realising he doesn't want it). I think there's a complete absence of romance in his sex life, full stop, and his life almost completely... with the exception of the fact that he has a life partner (whom he goes on dates with, financially supports, apparently now shares a bed with, etc)... But he's still gets off to and/or with women (at least that's what RCG write every now and then).

(And on the topic of writing, I think maybe in some ways for me, Bi Dennis over gay Dennis theory is due to the coding just being more obvious?... If an Italian man wants to eat a sandwich... to the paralleled Systems being the reverse of each other, giving prostate orgasms to Mac one episode and then desperate to see huge fake tits the next...)

On Dee: Season 6 made it pretty clear she's duping men into sex, and her relationship with Bill Ponderosa speaks volumes. But while she was sleeping with men just to give them low ratings in Group Dates, she was only spurred to that point because she was rejected by a guy she thought she was seeing. Then Goes to Hell reestablishes Dee is pressuring men into sex using insinuations, clearly devoid of romance. PTSDee is interesting, because Dee is acting on scorn, but it's not that the guy she slept with didn't want to see her again, but that he insulted her game. Then, Time's Up says a lot more, because it's quite literally telling you Dee slept with her (arguably best) friend, this guy she does love as a friend, and still ended up doing what she does to all the men she sleeps with (and destroying their relationship), using them. By Season 16, she hasn't had a care for a boyfriend in years, but she's sleeping with men if there's date-rape drugs in the picture. I think it's made clear she has no romantic interest in men, this is pure (fucked up) sexual pleasure.

The difference with Dee in canon (which I think is pretty clear) is that she doesn't have the "other sex option" that Dennis canonically explores. There's nothing to show us that she's even entertaining the idea of sleeping with women, so it's easily interpreted that she's a repressed lesbian experiencing comphet. Once she has sex with a woman for the first time, men will be completely gone from the picture. As an interpretation and hope for Dee's character, I would be inclined to agree, but honestly I don't believe RCG have been/are writing Dee's sexuality as a lesbian, but as Dennis' parallel. So if they're going to keep giving her plots and writing that she's interested in men the way Dennis is interested in women, I'm personally inclined to believe she's canonically sexually interested in men (as objects? lol).

I 100% agree with your idea that their heterosexuality comes from this place of "sex with (control over) the opposite sex gives me power," but I don't necessarily see it devoid of sexual attraction (as they love to hammer that stuff in), just romance (for as surface level as "empathy" would be)

For me, the intention of the writing holds a lot of weight (and maybe I should loosen up a little lol), which is why I'm parked where I am, but if the majority of people in the Fandom do see Dee as a lesbian while still believing Dennis is sexually interested in women in some way, I think it's because, while Dennis and Dee are shown to experience sexual attraction (and hetero sex) in similar ways, they don't exhibit homosexual attraction the same way, and the interpretation of that in their plots and characterisation leads to more people seeing Dennis as bi and Dee as a lesbian.

But honestly I'm just speaking on my own thoughts, idk how many people would agree, will def run a poll on Dee's sexuality tomorrow.

Let me know your thoughts. I'm really interested in hearing back on this!

[gazingstarsabove]

DRINK and DRIVE!!

IDEA I GOT AT 4 AM, SORRY IF GRAMMAR IS MESSED UP– HC's of how the fellas would drive!!

–·Hank is not the best driver, think we all can agree on that. He's either always hitting a hundred miles per hour or he's going slug slow, like there's no in between. Hold onto your seats because this man is probably gonna crash at every turn! Does not have a driver's license, nor the knowledge about anything related to cars tbh

–·Ngl but Sanford would be decent, prolly had been a get away driver a couple of times before. In the SQ they'd always pick him to drive, unless he's drunk, that is. I really do feel like he'd have a driver's license but the cars he drives do NOT have any plate number so uh

–·Deimos uhhhhhhhh, he'd drive a motorcycle more than a car my instincts just tell me this guys trust me. But overall he'd be okay, definitely not any better than Hank though. He smokes even when the windows are closed and the AC is on, while you're just choking beside him. Does not have a license

–·Do I really have to talk about Doc? Look, he might be smart and be a (unlicensed) doctor but man, mf gonna be tripping on the wheel. The trunk is probably gonna be open and he wouldn't NOTICE. Claims he has a license, but obviously does not

–·Tricky doesn't need a car, he can go underground and just zoom. He'll probably eat the tires of the cars though, says their very chewy and the flavors differ from car to car. Will literally just sit on the roof of the car while you're driving, you probably won't even notice. Obv does not have a license.

–Auditor would not be the one driving, he has hired agents and get away drivers incase an ambush or anything else happens. He's usually in one of those long ass black cars that only have 3 or 2 people inside, has his own wine collection inside(and soda's). But he won't give you some. I don't really think him having or not having a license would be any different because- it's not him driving!!!

–·The Sheriff knows how to drive, a little bit better than Sanford since he is the sheriff ykyk. If you were to ever sit on the passengers seat, he'll treat you like a damn passenger princess. Will rest his hand on your thigh, tells you to get stuff from areas he can't reach. But overall is a pretty good driver. He has a driver's license, may or may not have some beers behind the trunk.

–·Jeb would be a nice driver too, just don't expect him to talk much. He gets his priorities straight - fixes the rearview mirror, the gears in the right place, his pace not too fast nor too slow, checking his blind spots when backing up. He can be ur personal driver, if he thinks fondly of you. He's a good driver, but mostly just levitates or floats around. Has a license

–·Director Phobos would be much similar to Auditor, maybe they'd even gossip sometimes when they're in the same car. Though unlike Auditor, Phobos is much more talkative, and he has a lot of sass too like goddamn. It's a friday evening and he STILL complains about either the weather or his "great" plans in Nexus Core. He gets out of the car like a princess, one hand on his cape, one hand on the agent's hand. Careful not to trip on his 6 inch heels.

[bambirosedoll]

@bambi-disciple wrote a really good post on BS and if it really works (which ill link to at the bottom of this post), and while i have been on a sort BS hiatus for a little while, i wanted to write a little about some of what i have noticed for me?

At the time when id first run across it, the bimbo and hypno scene were still very cis, het, and essentialist. Most bimbofication material out there was heavily cishet. some the point of being actively transphobic. Hell, tbh a lot of it still feel pretty antitrans... but anyway...

I started listening to BS in April of 2021. I had heard of it before, and might have even listen to the initial release once or twice a few years before but had been a little reluctant to really dive into it. Id played with hypno before (ok, like lots), but BS seemed like it might want to be more extreme than i was ready for and very cis woman centric.

Skip forward a few years, and it wasnt until i started seeing some of the bimbofication and stepfordization creators making more gender inclusive content that instarted feeling a little more comfortable dipping my toe back in.

I am a trans woman. I went on hormones and socially transitioned almost two decades ago and in the kink scene for over three. I knew how to do my makeup and be cute and all those things, but like, i wasnt keeping up with them.

I was needing that internal drive and encouragement to be prettier. To push myself further. So for me it was less about self acceptance as a girl or submissive and more about wanting to be a better good girl. And i figured i might want to check out if BS could help.

Im one of those folks who would check all three of the boxes described by @bambi-disciple - wanting it to happen, beleiving it could happen, ans being aroused by the idea. Even with those they doesnt always mean automatic success. My mind often "stays awake" in trance, i am very reluctant to give up control (even when i think i want to and even to myself), and just a host of other issues which keep me from.being consistent or internal resistance to asepcts to the file. There have been some changes ive noticed tho:

* im much more open with my partners. Im still reclutant or shy to talk about my stuff, because i dont want them to be uncomfortable. But that might be more me projecting on them.

* wearing making up much more constantly again. Almost every day or at least when going out.

* pink. A lot more pink. And much more comfortable wearing pink. Previously it was all mostly black.

* eating healther. I now eat a lot more healthier. Salad are much more common for me. As well dried fruits and the like.

* much more casual in my writing. More willing to make typos and let them slide. More willing to just use txt speak and abbrevations and such.

* more comfort with posting myself on the interent, including a brief stint of doing porn sadly the latest stunt feom my stalker (hi stalker) wrecked the relationship with the studeo i was working with + i simply dont have the time with having to go into work and taking care of the family and home. Still it was super fun.

Those are the biggest changes ive noticed over the past couple years. I havent listen to BS for a few months rn. Im not really sure what my future plans are with it. I will prob stsrt up again at some point, but like i have a lot of upcoming things whjch require a lot of focus. It's like i have this desire to relapse but im holding back? Idk.

As promised, the post link. I didnt repost because it is really long and not under a cut and i wanted to be nice to my followers feeds. Sry. And if u have read this far you should check it out

[futurequibblerjournalist]

Igor and Severus on a late night drive:

- Igor does that thing where he lays his arm around the passenger seat, of course

- He leans back in his seat so that his other arm is straight, but limp (if that even makes sense)

- His window is rolled all the way down and Snape's is all the way up

- Igor's truck is old and shitty, so his lame rap can be felt

- ONLY plays lame rap (like sex rap and Lil Jeep) and classic rock

- Lays his arm through the window if he's not using the other to lounge on the passenger seat

- Igor's smoke against the black sky

- Igor blows Os with his smoke (Sev thinks it's the hottest fucking thing in the WORLD, and I mean his dick is hard and wet)

- Snape blows his through his nose and Igor teases the hell out of him about it (he eats it up, though, just the way the smoke pours over his face and disappears. Would lose his mind if Snape opened his mouth, too, like bursting through his pants)

- They share cigarettes

- Sev will hold it in his pout and follow Igor's fingers when he pulls it out and inserts it in his own mouth

- When it burns too low, they hold it for a while when exchanging it, it leads to a lot of accidental hand-touches

- Igor's a "hold it in the mouth" type when Snape's a "hold it in the fingers" type

- Igor is weirdly aroused by the sleazy, greasy, scuzzy way Snape looks with his arm over his stomach, head relaxed back, and his sleeve falling down his arm next to the sideways hand with a long cancer stick between two inattentive knuckles

- They blow smoke at each other. Igor's way more into it

- Sev either lays against the window or against the seat much lower than he should be sitting, like he's half asleep, it's like his body can't do anything else

- Igor speeds

- Igor speeds A LOT, like enough for Snape to grip the door

- Igor pulls over to piss with the headlights illuminating him (tbh he might just open the door, turn slightly, and whiz but that's less aesthetic)

- When it's REALLY late they graze emotion

- Snape hinting at his childhood

- Igor lamenting his time in Durmstrang

- Long pauses ("You'd make a great headmaster" (long pause and cigarette) "Maybe I'll write you when I am" (smirk and cigarette that gets taken by the other) "shut up")

- Those tired, not really fake, but not real laughs that are just Huff's from the back of a throat

- Igor with his hand on his passenger's thigh

- Road head, both where Igor has to pull over and where he keeps going

- When he keeps driving, his hand is like a weight on Sev's head

- Only lit up by street lights

- Stolen glances

- Igor doesn't wear a seatbelt and after a while, Sev doesn't either

- Long silent stares at each other

- Taking a second too long at a stop just to stare. Sometimes the other will look

- Igor with a beer bottle in his hand and arm out the window, hanging on his door

- Igor's legs somehow always fall open

- Snape has to fight to stay awake but Igor takes it with ease

- Driving nowhere just for the time, but neither admit it

- "Do you want to come with me?" "Yes. Where?"

- Late night laughter making fun of each other

- Poorly disguised girl advice

- Staring at each other in the middle of the English countryside. Severus's eyes fall up and down Igor's face, leaning as he does not fight the theft of his- their- cigarette. His lips are slack and Igor pushes out a thick cloud. Severus's eyes flutter shut until it's almost entirely gone and finds that Igor's staring with lazy eyes. He notices them flickering and his skin warms. He feels his own fall lower and his head tilts to the right while his body inches forward. He can't move further and Igor closes his eyes. Snape's are but a blur and he feels warm lips on his. They don't hold much passion, but they're sure of what they're doing. Severus flinches away and Igor fully pulls back, cigarette in hand. They stare. A tongue brushes over Snape's dry bottom lip and Igor returns the cigarette with eye contact. His lips round and a ring blows over Snape's face and he can hear the exhale with it. His shoulders soften and Igor puts out the cigarette in a dirty, empty cupholder before he pulls himself forward and pushes a real kiss onto Severus, whose hands hold the man's neck

- Gas station stops

- Igor's ass and thighs in jeans that hug him, filthy t shirt tucked into a torn belt

- The slap of his gruff hand on the wallet in his back pocket and the placement of his hips as he shuffles through

- Snape in a jacket that clearly isn't his and loose, possibly even wide-lower leg trousers, like bell bottoms but more than just the ankle area

- The harsh sniff before he fingers through his own wallet

- Igor pointing at bats and saying "that's you"

- Sev rolling his eyes with a growing smirk

- Igor slowing to watch an animal and tell his passenger his first time seeing one back home

- Telling each other more about "back home"

- Hair whipping around

- Snape complaining about other drivers more than Igor

- Igor chuckling at every insult

- When he's asked what's so funny, he just does that head shake (the hot one with a grin, you know exactly what I mean)

I didn't mean to make it so long but they're soooo late night drives to me

I am absolutely in love with this ask,,,, it's so very them. I don't picture them being people who kiss a lot because that's just not the nature of their relationship to me, but if they ever do it's Igor initiating it and he just kinda grins when Severus sits there and waits for him to finish so he can pass him the cigarette

Idk what it is but Igor pissing with the headlights on,,, so him

Igor speeding in his shitty ass car and oversharing and groping Sev's thigh and having one hand hanging out the window and just,,,, it's all so good

Igor would be the kind of person who'd put his arm out the car to clap the roof of his car because he finds the noise funny,,,, They're so dumn but they're so late night drive I can't even explain it,,,,, how does it feel to be right anon??

[f1amboyant]

Engineer Carlos have my whole heart like please this is so so good!!!! Obvious Carlos and Jealous Charles are deliciously too good of a dynamic 😍But yeah if we have to get a teammate for Charles instead of Carlos I have a few suggestions? Maybe Arthur for the added drama 😈 (especially since Charles said he would hate to have his brother as a teammate). If not Arthur maybe Mick? To have il predistinato and the son of the red baron? That would definitely be a marketing genius strategy 💛If not Mick maybe go for Ollie Berman? Or even Alex? Like IRL rumours of sending Alex from Williams to Ferrari.But tbh there's not a lot of people I can see driving for Ferrari because of their contract a lot of the possibilities I consider are impossible. Except, except if we go for Theo pourchair. Because Fred used to be Prema TP/owner/manager and that Theo will probably get his support too. That would be great to see him as Charles' teammate. Tbh I think it really depends on how well you know the drivers.But other than that Yes to red bull being the reason Charles finally get his shit together and confess to Carlos like please!!!!!

Also ferrari making them silly challenge and then increasing the silliest things they have to do? Like at some point Silvia suggest they do some couple game because it's a tiktok trend ? Please I would love to read that!

Hi there!

Engineer Carlos my beloved <3 Thank you so much for the ask! [referring to this post] (I truly need to make a masterlist of all those posts 🫣) [ask me if you want to know more or suggest ideas for this AU or another]

Thank you for all the suggestions for the second Ferrari driver! Tbf that second driver probably won’t feature much in the story. He’s mostly going to be in the background and maybe someone to measure Carlos’ brilliant strategy against.

I thought about Mick too but Arthur is actually a very good suggestion (Mick might be too nice for what I imagine). Arthur’s really not there in his career (but this is fan fiction, we can imagine whatever we want and distort reality) but I can imagine him being a little menace on the track and in the garage, being annoyed every time Charles wins and gets better results than him. Charles would absolutely hate having his brother as a teammate and it would be chaotic.

Angry Arthur would say things like “They never listen to me. But of course you don’t know what it’s like. Your engineer always listens to you, he’s so in love with you it’s disgusting.”

Yep. I can totally see that happening.

(The other suggestions are good, but as you said, I really don’t know them so I’m not really comfortable writing them into the story)

And oh god, the silly challenges. It starts pretty simple but soon turns into those silly little challenges because fans just eat that shit and Ferrari wants to capitalize on that.

Carlos would be so oblivious. Like “Sure, I can do that silly thing with Charles, it’s gonna be fun.”

And Charles would be so conflicted. He would absolutely adore the idea of spending more time with Carlos, but at the same time, he would be so flustered because his crush is showing. Like “What do you mean I have to be blindfolded while Carlos hands feed me some Italian products. I’m going to die on the spot! I can’t do that.” “Maybe we’ll ask Arthur then. A little switch of the team, it could be interesting.” “What? No, absolutely not. I am doing it with Carlos, no one else is doing it with Carlos ���”

That’s gonna be chaos! I love it!

New question: what couple challenges are they going to try? 🤔

[jyndor2]

my grandparents being absolute shitheads is almost certainly a response to the generational trauma associated with my family fleeing Ireland during the famine (a product of british imperialism). there is so much anxiety, depression, adhd, ptsd, etc in my family. I know a little of the traumas that my paternal grandma and grandpa went through to survive as children in absolute poverty in manhattan during and after the depression. I know that trauma had an impact on my grandparents when they got rich.

and that's just on my dad's side.

I can respect that without condoning the shitheadery, the racism, the buy-in to us american whiteness in the name of money and safety and power, the shit they did to THEIR kids, the shit THEIR kids did to MY generation. Empathy and understanding sure, but I don't know how to forgive them. or their parents, or THEIR parents, who had to endure God knows what to bring their families here but also who hurt those families in so many ways.

I feel very deeply the lack of culture, the emptiness of white us american-ness; I always have. when I was a baby and my parents chose to move from new york to delaware for a job, I felt the lack of family every holiday when my friends got to just go over to all their families' homes, or when they'd talk about hanging out after school with their grandparents and cousins. I felt the lack of culture when I'd see my friends going through confirmation or having bar/bat mitzvahs, or when I'd go hang out with my friends from cultures that they were still connected to.

so I have mixed feelings about going to family thanksgiving celebrations - and I am not going this year, I don't go most years tbh - because to me, the idea that my family would want to celebrate a holiday based on colonial mythology and genocide is particularly vomitous to me.

this year my sister is very ill and so my parents aren't doing anything (we might get together this weekend, but idk). my birthday is on the 30th, so maybe we'll say it's for that instead.

I think the most insidious part of thanksgiving is that on its face, it's hard to argue with it as a concept - families coming together to be thankful for another year survived together. but what has thanksgiving always been to me? arguing about politics, long drives up to new york and later connecticut, a lot of food I can't eat and don't want to eat, pretending everything's okay when it's not. luckily my parents' generation is pretty good about all cooking together - none of that women in the kitchen while the men watch football shit (at least none that I saw growing up).

thanksgiving to me on a personal level is a veneer of thankfulness over deep pains and divisions that hasn't been resolved. it's kind of like that on a larger scale too - the very mythology at the heart of thanksgiving, the idea that the pilgrims invited the wampanoag people to some great feast at all is a fucking delusional façade over the actual story.

a façade that was commemorated in 1863 by president lincoln, that great emancipator. this of course after the trail of tears in 1830, and centuries of genocide against native americans. and then fdr, that progressive hero, made it a national holiday in 1941. months before interning japanese americans.

and people have the nerve to complain about the "turkey genocide" every year (as a vegetarian myself I reject and denounce those idiots) while still accepting the existence of a holiday built on the genocide of actual people. I like the turkey pardoning but it's also like... what the fuck kind of american bullshit is that, we pardon turkeys every year (good and cool) while millions of people are incarcerated.

truth and reconciliation necessitates recognizing historical and current harm done and working to repair that harm done. we cannot do that while celebrating thanksgiving.

land back now. reparations now. decolonization globally and domestically NOW. I'll thank my ancestors for their survival on a different day. my birthday sounds like as good a day as any tbh - what better way to thank them than to have been born and continue to live? the only better way may be to fight the very thing that made them refugees in the first place - imperialism.

[dogtiber]

it is sit on the floor and play with puppy for three hours straight or he will cry my ear off time!

Tiber has been having lots of behavior? changes recently—nothing bad, it’s eating more and having lots lots more energy and confidence. I am assuming this is his meds doing their thing and his tummy feels better and his appetite is growing. it’s honestly really gratifying to see him so playful and happy. <3

but it has also thrown a bit of a wrench into our routines we’d settled into with him and how we’d previously been communicating. he is. so much more Loud than before. about everything. bork bork bork go go go all the time is driving us a little nuts. he’s also started trying to chew/dig on inappropriate stuff more frequently than he tried to before.

I think it might also just feel especially bad this week because we just got back from the road trip—and while dadtiber and I are still recovering from all the travel, Tiber certainly is not lol.

and that plus being restricted with enrichment options to entertain him has left us pretty tired. (and that’s not even accounting for the mystery chronic illness/fatigue with me and dadtiber’s odd hours and constant traveling for work lmao)

but I did finally try out turning his wet food into treats tho, and while they’re ugly and fragile, he likes them! did a little impromptu training session while I was de-molding them so glad we’ll be able to pick that back up again and get his brain working and hopefully tired out more.

dadtiber also wants to put him in daycare more often as well so he can run around and play with other dogs over there. I’d like to try to get in some more playdates with friends’ dogs too. and thinking about looking into interactive toys that don’t require food? like those self rolling balls and things? flopping cat toys? anyone tried those and do y’all’s dogs like them?

but tbh all this is gonna be on hold for another week anyway as we leave again on Monday (this time not really as much by choice—family medical emergency stuff going on with dadtiber’s family. also I hate the in-laws and my own parents aren’t a walk in the park either 🫠😭🙃 it’s gonna be an e x h a h s t i n g thanksgiving).

I really do adore seeing him more lively. but I would enjoy a nap lol

[kaoarika]

Another day, another follow up to my "data migration is a nightmare" saga.

TOO close, I feel. TOO close to either keep going and complete at least a 80% of what I have left to move (which might be basically leaving video and audio files at last because they, esp. videos, are TOO BIG) or maybe giving up. Realistically I knew that I wouldn't finish yesterday. It's too much. It's too much of a headache to split and decide what I should move first. Idealistically, using one of the 64 GBs and filling it up to 20 GB or smth wouldn't be THAT much of an issue... except that my laptop begs to differ.

While I'm making use of going around g00gle drive to upload and dl the things there (while compressed, and easier to move around, and it gives me the advantage to not move THAT many files), let's say that I have increasingly becoming paranoid, if that wasn't clear from before. Distrust issues increase because I have had unbelievable bad luck with computers in the past, lol. If it isn't about the compressed files (through .rar, which I know they are at least a bit safer than .zip... and tbh! I have had -dl'ed- compressed files from almost 10 years ago that I haven't uncompressed that seem to still work as new and fine???), it should be about the way I'm using gdrive... or that if I don't turn the laptop on... what are the chances it will turn on again later on? Stuff like that. It's risky if I let this opportunity pass away. YET, I don't want to be doing this anymore OTL.

I also don't want to uncompress those, lmao (also, the space they occupy :))) ). I DO want to know what they are though, because... let's say that my W10 OS didn't let me see through .mp4 files' thumbnails for some reason? However... maybe later on when I decide to actually organize them so much better.

I had to go back and organize my older files if only a bit to make this possible, which, again, wasting my time in doing it as such, but it's the best way to organize and split them in order to transfer them all (while also realizing that I don't want to keep some things; some of which I will not copy, while others are much a matter of "when" since I have to look at them deeply with more time). But, it's too tiring ;A;

My USB drives situation: I'm now 95% sure that the first 64 GB USB I used is the only one that has the bug thing or whatever that the W11 laptop "double" recognize it. I haven't run with similar problems with the other newer two. Regardless, I'm not going to use it for the time being :/ Kind of sad, because it was particularly useful when I had to transfer the first PC (2017) backup last year... well, it's not like it's horrendously buggy and such... but it's slightly faulty. I understand that things like that tend to happen (I don't remember if I told it here, but I have an USB that, for some reason I don't seem to understand? unless it was because I used it in my brother's older laptop back in the day? it ended up corrupting a small percentage of my files there :), luckily I recovered them, but somehow? it is still eating away the data that is still stored there).

Speaking about paranoia, my cat :). She usually likes to sleep above my desk, but since she moves a lot and is a little bit big, she tends to push my stuff away to the ground. I slept and she pushing my things off the desk woke me up and it turned to be the USBs I am not using right now (but would probably use them as last resort). Logically, I know that these might not break... but... when I'm in this desperate state it's like "pls no".

And speaking about sleeping :))). I want to sleep as normal as possible, but this is draining a lot of my energy :))). I want to go back to my "normalcy" I'm tired.

I know I'm slightly close to the finish line... but man, why it had to be this way... I don't want to dump everything here either 😭😭😭😭😭

One thing I forgot to mention is that, an IRL acquaintance was offering me to give me their external disk because for some reason they didn't seem to boot it up in their Mac, and basically was planning to "get rid of it" because of that. They told me it's a Toshiba and I was/have been considering it (although it REALLY looks like they aren't tech savvy about stuff like that; apparently, certain external disks' brands you HAVE to format them because they are not universally compatible with Windows AND Mac, and Toshiba is certainly one of these... 😑), but I'm also the kind of person that doesn't tend to accept stuff like that so freely ,_, It's been two months, so I dunno. I have to see them again asap, however.

[wordrefs]

In my experience (so I can't speak for all writers), it takes a combination of:

practice (you don't usually do a marathon your first time out for a jog, so the more practice/training you have, the more easy it should be to get to a ~100k story if that's what you want)

a story that you really, really want to tell to the end

either a decision to wing it and fuck the (literature) police if it meanders or has plot holes -or- taking the time to properly structure your notes/outline and combing back over what you've already written to find anything that might have been dropped or overlooked

TIME. IT TAKES TIME (or an extreme hyper-fixation and few calls on you that snap you out of it)

I should note that I only have one fic over 100k on my account, but it's significantly over 100k. (I've also posted several stories over 50k, with most of my fics over 30k.)

For the rest of this post I'm going to break it up into sections to make it easier to read/focus on (even though it breaks up the text in weird transitions because I did it after the fact).

As for the actual 'doing' part of writing it... every writer is going to have their own process that works for them and would be rotten for another writer. I've personally had multiple different approaches to working, some of which have worked better than others.

I do highly recommend that if you haven't yet, try NaNoWriMo this year, if you have the time. (TIP: Treat your body like an athlete's because this is a grueling marathon event. Eat properly, sleep well, take breaks and do stretches if you can't get away from the computer on a daily basis.)

It took me several years to achieve the 50k+ words goal, but it forced me to refine how I worked until I figured out what makes it easier for me.

Loose outlines help me a lot. It leaves me enough room to change my mind, but enough structure that I always know where I'm going. I work best by having "landmark goals" in the middle and at least a vague idea of the end-point.

To put it in an analogy: I'm going on a road trip. I have a map with circles around landmarks/attractions I want to visit along the way, and I know I'll reach my final destination... probably. But I may end up not visiting half the places I circle and have almost always ended visiting a place I've never heard of before because I saw a turn-off sign for it and was like, "Let's check this out!" and that detour lead to an entirely new route. Which, yeah, might mean that I don't see three of the places I had circled, and somehow I spent a month at Vegas and ended up visiting a completely different friend than the one I started driving out to meet, but totally worth it. And even if I didn't end up in my original destination, it sure saved me a lot of time by pre-planning my route and a few places I might want to see along the way!

The longer the story, and the tighter you want it to be, the more time should be spent working on the outline.

It also helps for you to go back through your story at around the mid-point or just after mid-point looking for any loose ends that need to be pulled together by the end of the story. Write those down as a reminder list and/or placing them where you think they go in the outline. This includes running gags if you want those to pay off!

As for motivation... that was in the bullet-point list.

If you're going to get to 100k+, god you have to want it because unless you're lucky enough to have a muse yank you in the car and scream, "ROAD TRIP. I'M DRIVING" and hit pedal to the metal at all times, you're going to eventually hit a point where it's no longer as fun and easy. (This is why having a road map comes in handy. While the muse is crashed out in the back seat, you can get in the driver's seat and keep it moving.)

TBH, if you aren't putting your own gas in the car and are relying entirely on the muse to remember to refuel, you're always going to get stranded somewhere without a gas station, or even a hotel, in sight. (This is the analogy that keeps on giving, btw.) So be prepared that at least one of these times you're going to wake up parked on the side of the road and it's up to you to go to the trunk, get the gas can, and get to walking.

Something-something, pretend I continued the metaphor about being lucky if your cell phone has reception - by which I mean you might have other writers or fandom friends or a beta/editor who can help you talk through where you're having trouble. Sometimes re-reading or refining your notes can help reignite your motivation. (Which is my usual approach, actually, since it's rare my friends and I are in the same fandoms.)

As for how-does-the-word-count-get-that-high...

I personally do a fair amount of worldbuilding, setting the scene/description, and exploring the POV character's inner thoughts/feelings. Though I don't generally spend multiple paragraphs on these things, you'd be surprised how quickly a couple of lines at the right points add up.

I also typically have at least two, usually 3+ plots going on. Generally there is an A-plot (the main point of the story - so generally "the plot") and the B-plot (usually the romance, though the plot sometimes is just the set-up for the romance, so flip the priorities). Then I usually have at least one platonic relationship I spend scene time on. In a shorter story, it may be lightly sketched and directly tied to either the A-plot or B-plot, but in a longer story it may deserve being called the "C-plot".

Definitely don't go overboard adding a lot of these at once because it becomes a beast to manage, especially if you're not tying some of these threads off once they've run their course and try to keep them all going to the end of the story, but don't expect a single story thread to last 100k either.

This was my TL;DR TED Talk. Apologies/I hope it was useful (whichever applies more, lol). Feel free to ask for clarification if you have questions.

[foggyparadisecandy]

Honestly I don't think I've ever heard other people talk about it as well but there is something about watching other people share what they're going through and talk about their trauma that sometimes helps you look in on yourself and start to be able to process your own issues

It's almost silly in concept, having to watch someone else hurt to realize oh! I cut my hand as well, I'm also bleeding, I'm also just,, hurting, as if you would've never noticed without seeing someone else react in pain

I think half of it is the reminder that life goes on during the hurt, during the pain and that's okay, you'll keep living

Thank you for sharing what you're going through, I know it's hard to be open at times

Thank you for just sharing your journey through it all

Thanks nonny.

I appreciate that and your kind words. It's honestly been a combination of pure anguish on my part in sharing and the desire to let others know:

A lot of us are hurting.

It's ok to hurt. It's part of the human experience.

I think it's foolish to think life is all beautiful all the time. If we didn't have the lows, would we appreciate the highs?

The only things I regret really are some of the sloppier posts where my words have been harsh toward K. My emotions have been a fucking mess and while I have always felt overriding care and love and concern for her, I've said some things in a brutal way that honestly aren't fair and not really my vibe.

The truth is when she first ghosted me I was ... so lost ... so hurt ... so confused ... and, in general, ghosting triggers self-doubt in the strongest people but for me ... well shit ... abandonment is my number one fear in relationships so ... I was filled with so much self-hatred and doubts and just "why did I hurt her?" "how did I hurt her?" "why do I suck so much?" kind of stuff.

It took four weeks of venting and some extremely kind souls walking me off that ledge (some of them got so much from me that I'm no longer welcome in their dm's - so embarrassing to me) to remind me of who I am. I am not perfect. But I did my best for her. And I knew she benefitted from our time together.

Which ... honestly ... made it even harder in some ways lol.

Because I *felt* she still loved me as much as I loved her so ... my little brain just couldn't understand why someone would leave what I thought was such a great, loving, special relationship.

Once I finally put my "I fucked up" fears to bed and realized that I did my best, I started wondering ... why *did* she leave? And then I saw her trauma and actually READ what she had been telling me. And that raised all sorts of other concerns. I missed her hurt on the first go around. That made me feel so shitty.

I became afraid for her.

My "daddy" / "protect my baby girl" / "save the woman I love" instincts were going in overdrive with no way to properly express them. Fucking sucked tbh. I lashed out. Reached out to her sister and sent her a snail mail to her work - a complete violation but I was so panicky to connect and make sure she was ok.

I regret those messages and am sorry I did them. I can see how that completely freaked her out further and did the opposite of what I wanted - to comfort her. :(

And ... it was none of my business as so many people told me. I just ... I ... couldn't ... process it. My fear for her was so loud in my head. I wasn't eating. Wasn't sleeping. I would wake up in a sweat thinking of her in trouble. Wake up crying with worry. Ugh.

Well shit ... look at me recap all of this ... I'm clearly still not fully through it ... but ... I do feel better these days.

In an act of courage (it might be more complicated on her end but this is what I see it as), she reached back out and gave me so many answers that were still driving me mad. My god ... the strength of character she showed in doing this is inspiring.

I will forever be grateful for that kindness she showed me with that act.

Plus it reconfirms my belief that she is going to have a great life - she challenges herself even when she's uncomfortable - she is not perfect - who is? - but she is working at improving.

NGL ... I've said it over and over ... and ... I ... am aware this might make her uncomfortable so I'm doing my best to not keep going on and on about it ... but ... yeah ... I still do love her ... and I care ... and I want her to have her best life ... and I forgive and forgive and forgive ... I don't want her for a second to beat herself up - I actively do NOT want that - it's a waste of her energy ... she can focus on healing her own stuff and not feel guilty or bad.

Fuck. That woman has had enough hurt for one lifetime. I sure as hell don't have any desire to add to it. Fuck no. That is the opposite of what I want for her!!! Live. Be happy. Respect yourself. Feel deserving. Feel loved. Feel wonderful. Heal. Have a wonderful full life filled with joy and contentment and love.

THAT is what I want for her. (not my business really ... I know this ... she is not "mine" to want things for ... she is her own person and has a handle on things)

She did a horrible thing to me and us. But that thing she did is not her. She is good and decent.

Good people do horrible things. I hope she internalizes that difference. She deserves to feel good about herself. She is a good person in so so so many ways.

She reacted in ways she learned to react as a kid when confronted with "a lot." I harbor no delusions. I am a lot lol - usually in very loving way but ... a lot of loving is still a lot!

Add that to the dom stuff I was pushing on her and ... all the other stuff she was facing ... I didn't give her room to breathe. I thought everything was open and honest but ... I have grown to realize that wasn't fair! I was her daddy, her dom, an authority figure ... it's hard to speak up and out to authority figures - especially if you love them.

So ... yeah ... she ran. A few times ... :(

But ... I don't blame her.

It hurt me but ... I don't blame her and I also forgive her. Do better do better do better - of course that's true and I know she doesn't feel good about things. She is sharp as hell and she's working on things like I'm working on things. I believe in her. I have faith in her.

(also true: it's no longer my business - but still ... I care I care I care and I want the best for her.)

She literally has NEVER let me down long-term. Just ... some ... horrible ... short-term ... pain ... lol

And even that pain? Good has come from it.

It has propelled me to work on my own shit and grow. So ... I straight up have gratitude there for the experience - as shitty as it was going through it.

LOL - you triggered a book, nonny.

Thanks for your kind words and I hope whatever struggles facing you or other readers are seen as growth opportunities and you can find peace with them.

[OFC ... I'm still working on my parental issues ... which ... are going to be ... something ... ugly. That's tomorrow's problem though lol]

[mysteriaqueen]

hi. im gonna obsess over these now. not sorry about it.

1.

oh my god yes yes yes yes yes. that man is getting the sparkiliest fruitiest, random drink you can find. i can imagine him trying like all different flavors of red bull or kickstart too (or whatever energy drinks they have in hsr world.)

like imagine he goes up to gallagher and asks him to put caffeine in whatever fuckin drink he gets dude. tbh, I can imagine him having a slight caffeine addiction. probably not slight.

2.

girl gift giving is his most natural love language. you saw how much money he was giving to TB after the penacony quest? he gives gifts like he fucking breaths air. not to mention, the gift box he gets you when you do that one quest on the radiant feldspar bro. (lmk if you haven't seen it I'll keep my mouth shut about it just in case).

and ooooo oooooo ooooo hand made giftssss from aventurine????? askdjfhalksdjfhalksdjfhalksdfhj dude im going insane im gnawing at the bars of my enclosure.

in addition to that, imagine him trying to get a gift for someone but he notices that the quality isn't great so he a) fixes it up himself and/or b) takes it up with the seller and depending on their reaction just gets a refund or gets their shit closed dude. like imagine he's like 'hey... this isn't really up to par. esp with the price' and the person is karen-ish and then bro just laughs and then the next thing you know that mofo is getting no customers. "did you hear? they tried to scam a stone heart!! isn't that insane? who knows what they'd try to do to a normal person"

3.

PREACH. PREACH. PREACH. PREACH. OH MY GOD I HAVE BEEN SHOUTING THIS FROM THE ROOFTOPS. THIS MAN IS NOT WEAK. he might *pretend* to be weak for the bit. he'd do a lot of things for the bit. but that man could never be weak. do you remember what he's been through??? never weak. he would never let himself be weak again. you think after watching his family die one by one he'd ever put himself in a position where he can't protect those he cares about? cute. you're wrong. and insane. to solitary confinement with you (/j)

he's not mentally weak either. he took that harmony consecration bullshit from sunday like a goddamn champ. bc, mind you, he was still dealing with it WHILE FIGHTING US. it didn't go away until he got hit by acheron. HE WAS FIGHTING US NOT EVEN AT 100% MENTALLY WITH A BROKEN CORNERSTONE. ARE YOU HEARING ME RN.

and don't even get me started on the mental fortitude you must have to go through all he has and not off yourself lord have mercy.

4.

work is how he copes. if he's not working, he's actively on a mission. if he's not actively on a mission, he's drinking. if he's not drinking, he's giving someone something or chatting with someone or annoying someone. if he's not doing that he's sleep. if he's not doing that he's eating. if he's not doing that then it's a very rare rare moment (prolly most often when he's just woken up from a nightmare) where he's quiet despite how loud (or maybe not) his thoughts are and he just sits with himself. that doesn't happen often. he doesn't find it pleasant.

5.

never considered this but you are in fact real. i have a feeling the impulsive/intrusive thoughts you mentioned sorta get worse if he has to drive, esp if there's traffic.

6.

as someone who love a person who is good with kids. YES. and small slightly unrelated rant here it's not that hard to be good with kids. it really isn't. you treat them like people because they fucking are. the issues arise when you *expect* them to do what you ask just because you're an adult and they aren't. rant aside.

because of his trauma, he very much wants to give everyone in a situation as much agency as possible. as much as he can, he doesn't push, doesn't force, doesn't coerce. and that lends him to working really well with kids. i don't think he intuitively understands why he's so good at it, but he just is. he knows even if he doesn't know he knows.

7.

my man has nightmares. night terrors. (imo) so yes, he sleeps insanely. bro is fighting demons in his sleep. literally. i'd like to think if he's sleeping with someone he trust he doesn't have nightmares so he sleeps less wildy and his movements are restricted to locate person, attach to person, push person away because I'm hot, nevermind person is comfort repeat cycle. he's clumsy about it in his sleep though so you may in fact get whacked.

8.

i think because of how fidgety he is (and often he's in situations where fidgeting would be read as weakness) he pain stims a bit. digging his nails into his palms. picking at his cuticles. scratching unnecessarily. it's prolly not the best way to go about things but it's grounding and he needs that. desperately. serious aventurine, got to fucking therapy.

9.

nothing to say here you summed it up perfectly. 10/10 no notes.

10.

i think he wonders what a 'normal' life would be like a lot. growing up in a house. with his family. getting to call his sister and mother and father whenever. having their phone numbers. randomly sending them gifts. texting them that he loves them. i think he thinks about it a lot more than he wants to. i think those are the type of thoughts that fill the silence I mentions earlier

-------------------------------------------------------

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR POSTING THESE THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN TO THINK ABOUT. i love seeing other peoples ideas man it fuels my ideas its a great time. okay bye.

Random Aventurine Headcanons

Just a quick disclaimer; these are just my opinions and are not canon in any way, so don't take them too seriously 😭

Now, have a handful of my Aventurine HCs. There's 10 of them, and they're just general ones, nothing too angsty or heavy aside from mentions of his past (also, look how perfect he is. I love this pic.)

1. He loves caffeine and its effects but not the bitter flavor of coffee or espresso, so he's always rolling up to work with one of those really sweet specialty drinks.

He's also constantly changing what drink he orders, so no one can ever predict what he's going to show up with. Sometimes, he makes his employees concerned because he'll just be sipping on this bright, radioactive looking drink with a shit ton of espresso in it (kinda like the shamrock macchiato from dunkin).

2. He loves giving/making gifts to people he cares about. For people like clients, business partners, and "friends," he gives them gifts like credits, expensive sweets, just polite catch-all gifts that have no real thoughts or consideration behind them; things that everyone would like. He doesn't really find joy in giving these gifts.

However, for people he truly cares about, he will listen to every word they say in order to deduce the best possible gift. Since the Sigonia link rope states that the Avgins were meticulous craftsmen (I'm assuming that if they made the Knots of Cyclicality so well, then their craftsmanship didn't stop there), I also think that Aventurine would try his hand at making things for people if he's especially close to them. I think he would get kinda nervous when actually giving the gifts, though (especially if it's something he made himself). I feel like he's insecure and doubts himself a lot when it comes to his close relationships.

3. Aventurine has a sleeper build. That man is way stronger than people give him credit for. He had to kill the other slaves in the labyrinth with only the chains around his wrists while he was most likely malnourished, dehydrated, and wounded in order to prove his luck. Adrenaline can only do so much, so I highly doubt he's weak by any means.

I think people around Aventurine- much like a majority of the fandom- perceive him as physically weak when he's not using his cornerstone, since he's not that tall and he doesn't appear well-built. Others probably get surprised when they see him use a lot of strength because of this.

4. He's a very hard worker, and he's prone to overworking himself, especially if something is upsetting him. He's very good at hiding when something is bothering him due to his past, but when he starts working a ton of overtime, it becomes easy to tell. He does this to tire himself out so he can avoid thinking about whatever troubles him, and he usually continues on this path until he burns himself out and is forced to confront what's upsetting him.

5. He sucks at driving and doesn't enjoy it at all. He likes car rides, feeling the wind through his hair, and just vibing while listening to music, but he hates being the driver. He has his license, but he doesn't like using it, so he either uses public transport or hired a driver just so he can get around without the inconvenience of driving.

He also really hates traffic. He already doesn't like standing in line, so traffic is way worse to him because he can't just pay people in the other cars to let him cut in front of them.

6. He's good with kids. I think he's one of those people who are like, "Kids are fine, I guess," but then he interacts with children, and all of them absolutely love him. He's gentle with them, plays with them if they want, and only really scolds them if they do something that could get them hurt. He also treats them with respect, like actual people, instead of just extensions of their parents to order around. I think his dynamic with kids is similar to how his sister treated him when she was still alive, so interacting with children is bittersweet for him because it brings back memories.

7. He's the messiest sleeper in the cosmos. Aventurine tosses and turns, snores, drools on the pillow, and always wakes up to at least one corner of his fitted sheet popped off. Half the time, if he falls asleep using his phone, it gets so tangled in his sheets that he has to pull the blankets off of the bed and shake them until his phone falls out. If he's sharing a bed with someone and trusts them enough to fall into a deep sleep, they are 100% getting accidentally slapped, kicked, or partially laid on.

8. He's very fidgety. Sitting still makes him feel restless, so he's always doing something to move around. He paces in his office, plays with his coin, clicks pens, bounces his leg, and taps his foot. Trying to sit quietly in a room with him would be a nightmare unless he's occupied, focused on something, or just really tired.

The only thing that tends to properly ground him and make him calm down enough to stay still is physical touch, but that's a double-edged sword. Due to his past, a touch from the wrong person can be problematic, and there's not many that he trusts enough to touch or soothe him, so he doesn't usually reach a state of calmness and stillness.

9. He has a lot of impulsive and intrusive thoughts. These range from impulsive and harmless things like going on an online shopping spree or dying the tips of his hair to more intrusive and potentially dangerous ideas, like shoving his hand in a pot of boiling water, hurting himself in other ways, or harming others.

His impulsive thoughts don't bother him too much, but the intrusive ones nag at him a lot even though he knows they're not his fault.

10. He wishes he had the opportunity to go to college and have a formal education. He knows he could've done it if he had the privilege and the opportunity, but that was never afforded to him, so he tries not to dwell on it.

He doesn't even know if he would choose to go to college if he had the chance, doesn't know what major he would pick or what extracurricular stuff he would do, but he wishes it had been an option. It ties back to how he wonders how life would've turned out for him if he had any semblance of normalcy- a stable home planet, a living family, the chances and opportunities that people in less oppressive situations had been given-, but he always just pushes those thoughts aside and refuses to consider them, knowing it wasn't a possibility for him and never would be.

-------

I hope you guys enjoyed my thoughts! These headcanons are dedicated to @mysteriaqueen who encouraged me to post these. I would've just forgotten about this app if it wasn't for this kind stranger. I hope these live up to your expectations :)

God, I haven't written anything like this in years. I really hope these are good 😭