#might delete later idk im tired

[voidheartkisses]

crazy things the bishops have done in my cult:

Leshy: got in a relationship with BAAL of all people (Seriously how do I break them UP)

Kallamar: had 2 abortions (he has the lustful trait so he's my guinea pig for whenever I need the egg yolk to make someone younger)

Heket: stole someone's wife (who had a kid)

Narinder: tried to kill my other spouse (It's a whole drama I'll talk about it later)

Shamura: took forever to give me their quest because they forgor (dangit grandpa)

[cecilscribbles]

one shitpost wasn't enough apparently . do you think that the way ford and bill's relationship got a little more intimate was bill ruffling ford's hair or something and ford being unable to think or speak for the next twenty minutes because he's touch starved as fuck and that kind of power over someone is intoxicating and so on but here's the key thing bill takes his gloves off beforehand. i think he wears gloves but his limbs are still black underneath, point cat style, so it's a subtle change. and then after he does this enough bill without his gloves becomes associated with attention and praise . fast forward a couple months and bill rocks up to the dreamscape without his gloves, gesturing with his hands and claws and ford gets really flustered and needy for reasons he can't place

[ghostpaynes]

I wonder if the people who use Edwin looking sixteen as an excuse to hate on Cat King despite the very clear indication he's definitely not mentally that also look at people who date their age's but look sixteen.

[goldenstorm0]

my thoughts might change later, aaaah I feel like I can get the emotion I think would happen a lot better as a drawing, but whatever. it's gonna be a hot second before I draw this, so rambles for now

but like,, we can all tell that twilight has got some Trust Issues, maybe for good reasons due to job and whatever hell his childhood was, but still. He gets suspicious of everyone, he lies a fuck ton, especially in regards to his emotions. I mean dammit he lied to nightfall about why he didn't kill yuri in the wheeler arc, idk if the lie was more for nightfall or himself

but like the thing that he's building with yor is different. like yeah he is still lying a ton, he might think yor is lying about her strength/childhood/whatever at least on some sort of subconscious level, but he is still trusting her a lot more than he usually does. To keep this fake marriage a secret, to help with Anya, to not fuck it up with Melinda. and I think as the series goes on he'll just open up more, get more comfortable around her. And although he is not there rn, he'll start to really actually trust her in a way that he never has before

So, when he finds out that she's been lying to him, not just a lie but one as big as his, it's going to Fuck Him Up. like he finally opens up to someone and it ends up that she is basically almost everything he's ever feared, someone who goes and systematically murders entire organizations (i can for ages about the Garden, i don't trust them, but that's distracting)

and like, as hypocritical as it would be, I think he would be mad at her, and even more mad at himself. her for lying about something so dangerous, and himself for a) being mad at her when he is doing the same thing, b) himself for allowing himself to have emotions for someone and letting them hurt him. And it'll all be really messy emotions, shit that he has never dealt with before, and he just. won't know how to handle it. Cause you can't really train for that

anyway, I want to draw a recent post-reveal comic where twilight is just, angry and not handling shit well and gets drunk, and goes home and fights with yor and feels really bad about it, idk have a weird late night talk with Anya where she says one of those weirdly smart things kids sometimes say, then he and yor make up and make out sloppy style afterwards

[artheresy]

No but I don’t think anyone understands how deeply I need to witness Blade identity crisis content like, the focus on identity usually with the HCQ and the struggles usually centers around Dan Heng because of course! We get the content in canon touched upon, expanding on it with your own view is so much fun and I want to do it myself at some point.

But the potential of Blade? And exploring his fucked relationship with his identity and with Yingxing? MWAH, delicious, and not done enough compared to something I do see a bit whenever the topic comes up which no hate to anyone for but I have my own opinions on it

Like, shit Blade has HUGE issues with dehumanizing himself as a result of Jingliu’s teaching in which she projected her own self dehumanization onto him and taught him to turn his body into a weapon and remember the feeling of death. He doesn’t view himself as being a person, he is nothing more than a sword for slaying, a weapon whose path is soaked in the blood of both his victims and himself. And UGH listen, I’ve already ranted about this so many times that y’all are probably tired of hearing me talk about it.. it truly is one of my favorite topics, the disconnection between Yingxing and Blade that does exist in canon to certain extent. Though he takes on the weight of his sin as his own and his duty to repay it (and make sure Dan Heng repays it too), the ways in which he doesn’t connect to Yingxing in other matters is used in such a tragic way when you peel back the layers upon layers that can relate to the simplest things. Like fucking hell, not to mention it again but the use of craftsmanship between the two of them is heartbreaking as crafting represents not only what he happened to do as apart of the HCQ and in the end his legacy, but how it is used as a representation of his passion that Blade does not share, how it represents the revenge that dominated his life as Yingxing built on the pain and trauma of losing his entire family and home while still such a young child which Blade probably doesn’t even fully remember anymore let alone connect with. I swear, that hurts, it hurts me every time I think about it.

I also just have a lot of my own headcanons that I firmly don’t think are canon, but are things I instead sprinkle in like finishing salt into my wounds to make myself even more sad. Like thinking about Blade in a way constantly being in mourning, not solely for Baiheng, but genuinely in mourning for Yingxing as well. Although he used to be Yingxing, that man is still dead and gone and never coming back, never in a way that will actually be Yingxing. So I like to imagine he mourns for him as well. Not just his death but mourns the severed connection between them. The passions he cannot submerge himself in, the pure dedication he cannot fathom, the love and happiness he cannot even begin to imagine the feeling of. Or at least not the warmth of them, he only feels the bitter shards of those feelings left within him, making his hatred all the more agonizing and deep set.

Hm… I wonder how we’re going to see Blade progress as the story keeps going on. I do truly hope we get more of an exploration of this. I need to see what happens to him. I need to see how his mindset ends up evolving or instead of evolving, the sheer amount of shit it ends up getting him into. God do I love this man, sorry that my love manifests in needing to see him suffering. It just comes with the territory

[bassguitarinablackt-shirt]

do people realise that by going out of their way to tell aromantic people that they're not being given hate for being aromantic they are giving that person hate. for being aromantic.

[hmmbo]

i don't like how quickly this has gone from "i'm sure people lived fulfilling lives during the fall of the roman empire" to "did anyone live a fulfilling life during nazi germany"

[stupidusernamepolicy]

sometimes wish i could like. kms temporarily like kenny southpark. like i just press a button and explode and then wake up the next day with all my stats replenished to 50% like "well got that out of my system time to face the day"

[hag-darling]

future in-laws apparently hate the cute little wedding pikachus I got forever ago and don't want me to use them as decorations in the wedding

two 8 inch plushies is apparently just too tacky

I'm not going to listen to them and they will be put somewhere during the reception but I just. Hate how they care more about this wedding being generically picture perfect than me actually enjoying any aspect of it

[ricksanchezbignaturals]

i live in the us and hearing about trans people being just straight up denied passports isn't even surprising to me at this point but i am kind of fucking horrified. like are we really doing this? does literally anybody not see what is happening here? they wanna trap us here and make our existence a crime. like fucking hello???

[raptorbyte]

y'all ever like just get thoughts you need to write down cuz like man I can't express this stuff in anything other than writing

well it's midnight and coming back to tumblr and seeing all my sorta niche interests on my feed has got me feeling stuff

I've been searching back into my past, interests that I lost due to losing the friend that brought me into them, corners of my mind that have grown cobwebs by now. It's a shame really, that these things that brought me joy and still do to a point have also got pain intertwined with them. It doesn't have to be this way.. maybe it's time I grabbed a broom; maybe it's time I revived those OCs, it wasn't their fault after all, and maybe I can fall in love with these things all over again for myself this time and not the friend I thought that person was.

[thecatspasta]

Do you think the corporations will realise that we will care about their straight ships if they're not a girl fawning over the first guy she sees and getting married within the year and it being treated like a good thing or is this thought process too advanced for them to handle right now.

[philosophiums]

wanted to work on lmhs ch7 today but have to deal with my father instead :/

[koheletgirl]

it's always "dodge the draft" but none of you have ever dodged the draft

[roseverdict]

"my adult children are lazy and have no dreams and are perfectly content to leech off of me their entire lives!" no!!! you dipshit!!!!! they're several diagnosed types of mentally ill each, unmedicated for all of them through no choices of their own, unable to go anywhere outside the house without parental permission or assistance*, and have repeatedly been outright mocked by you for expressing joy at things they like and jobs they want to have while you claim to always support them!!!!!!! you cannot treat them as failures of completely fine and fully-autonomous adults when you never even finished teaching them the things you think every teenager should learn!!!!!!!!!

*: and even then they're chafing badly enough that they are pushing for ways to work around you! to escape you!!! once they can pedal a bicycle for further than a mile without going into Goddamn cardiac arrest it's fucking over for you!!!!!

(EDIT BECAUSE I WANT TO HAVE THIS HERE BUT ALSO UM: yall ever feel like you're engaged in a cold war that's never actually been declared? bc the increased aggression in the passive-aggressive texts over the past 24 hours (DESPITE the fact that most stuff from the last batch was in fact addressed in a timely fashion) has me like 👁️👁️. mom, dad, if you're reading this, you know you can talk to me like the 24-year-old human person i am, right? not treat me like an impudent teenager who doesn't deserve to make their own choices and should be grateful to even be living with you, then get frustrated when i'm making angry vent-like posts online?)

[sparkyscissorhands]

sorry have to be a hater about fandom stuff for a moment cause i tried giving some of the fanwork a try and its not worth it,, saying this as someone who also hcs bradley as gay. but i fucking HATE ppl who change his personality over ittt. like 3 out of 5 times i see ppl hcing him as gay, they always characterize him as like,, flamboyant and effeminate and ig the typical gay man stereotype when hes never acted like that? like yeah maybe hes a bit overly theatrical and maybe hes a little Out There and calls his “male best friend” baby so casually a couple times. but still this kind of characterization is NOT him and such a departure of how he acts in the movie 😭 like i do not recognize him anymore, im so fucking scared where is my boyfriend