#might change my header too. perhaps <3

[cohendyke]

omg new pfp. cohenheads everywhere cheered rip george but...

LITERALLY YEAH. george had his four years (or however long i’ve been on this particular blog) it’s leonard’s turn <3 in honour of the four cd albums i purchased today

[tarotwithdanise]

What qualities do you bring in a relationship?

1 - 2 - 3

SOURCE AND CREDITABLE : All of the pictures are collected and downloaded from pinterest , I don’t own any of them but credits goes to the rightful owners however edits goes and the reading itself belong to me. I use the editor tools canva and ibispaint for the header and divider. If saved/downloaded the divider use a proper credits and tag/mention along my acc @tarotwithdanise. Expect grammatical errors with this reading, bear with it because english isn't my mother tongue.

💌 check out my back-up account @danisetarot bio ; click the link, choose your favorite deals that you wanted to purchase and then send all of them to my email account (daniseallure@gmail.com)

PILE ONE

Right off the bat, you will bring harmony with this relationship. It's like you were the one who will balancing this relationship, I see that you will going to mirror each other most of the time. You maybe bring this possessiveness and jealously towards your partner when they're with others, well that's okay though and that's valid. Your love language is maybe act of service and physical - you were probably like helping them out with their garden or cleaning their house windows. Also, sitting alone in a couch just feeling each other or holding hands while waiting for sun to rise. There's a lot of things can be happening between the two of you when you are alone. As well, with the hermit card here this talks to me that you two prefer to have an alone time, like discussing about your future plans, getting to know each other more and etcetera to build a strong romantic relationship with them.

Your partner probably likes your jokes, you might be a jokester. You were type of individual who is happy as clam, you enjoy every moments you will have with them perhaps that you maybe someone who is likely resist of change? yeah change, you kinda afraid of changes. I see that almost of your all your cards talks about ‘stability and security’, so I'm not quite sure where this insecurities you have for this relationship come from? where your partner make sure to love and give you the best care as they can. It may not be perfect but atleast they're trying their best, maybe from your past? You are like all in one package, you will bring flaws and good points for this relationship to build stronger and longer as you can.

PILE TWO

The first thing I noticed with your traits is that you have this motherly nature, regardless to your gender. You also like to initiate the conversation with your partner, you probably nourish every romantic relationship you have or will going to have. You also like to explore things or other places, it's soothing for you. And maybe you may want to travel with your partner in every places, cities or countries someday. I do see here you like get aways, you and your partner will be like best buddies at the same time lovers.

They will learn many things from you and so they do too from you. While, if you are single currently you are ready to mingle or if not, you are open with any romantic connection. I also feel, you were type of individual and lover where you like to fit-in with your person standards, like you were trying your best to be your person ‘ideal type’ in reality. You will also make your person as whole and complete individual. You will make them the best person on the earth. I do feel here for this pile the first up until the last seconds, you will love your person is about strong and unconditional love. Like a beautiful flower growing, the more it's grows the pretty and blooming it is.

You probably thinking that every person that come on your way is important. You were also a fighter or maybe someone who is ready to fight who everyone that will try to come across with your relationship. You don't give a f*ck about will others people will says about your relationship you have with your partner. You are good at starting conversations, you are not afraid to tell what's in your mind ; someone who can be very honest. You are charismatic and nurturing person that makes your (every) partner to fall in love with you way deeper.

PILE THREE

This is somewhat a heavy spread. Okay, you maybe feeling unlucky when it comes to love and it seems like you are not yet ready to take risk and embrace change, you are waiting for change to come but you aren't taking the first step to continue your journey when it comes your relationship with others. You are not going with the flow as your Guides and Angels wanted you to do so, it seems like you are just sitting there and waiting for change to come. Changes when it comes to love won't come on your way if you are not taking any actions for it, the possibilities of you getting on a relationship keeps delaying and delaying by itself.

You not even trying yourself to keep learning, you are putting boundaries, restricting and trapping yourself in a cell of negativity which is stopping you to start a new beginnings. Well, about the qualities you bring in a relationship? You will be a great partner to them. Someone who is willing to give everything all of they have with their partner. Aside from that, you may have trust issues and lead a relationship like be a dominant. You prefer a partner who is under to you rather than you will be under to them in a good or bad way because that's depend on you. I also do see here that you are finding someone who is sharing the same interest, hobbies and mindset like yours.

© tarotwithdanise ── all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, alter, or repost my work in any other social media platforms with or without my explicit permission.

[tavyliasin]

The Highs and Lows of Fandom Creation

Hello darlings~ It has been a little while and this one has been on my list to get to for a while, and with the Baldur's Date Valentine's Fanworks event soon to draw to a close it seems appropriate to start preparing ourselves for the cycle of what happens when we release our works into the wild. So without further ado, our latest essay~

The RollerCoaster of Emotion That Comes With Being A Creative In Fan Spaces (FanArt, FanFiction, Cosplay, Photography, Music, and So Much More) ((Another CallOut Essay Prepare To Be SEEN)) (((Also I Have Some Coping Techniques Here Too!)))

As usual with my essay pieces I will be making plenty of use of the headers to divide topics, and I fully welcome any thoughts and feelings in the comments. Whilst I am really only in the FanFic side, and a focus on Baldur's Gate 3, I do intend to make this essay inclusive of the trials and tribulations that we all tend to face in making and sharing fanworks of all kinds and through all fandoms. The more people I speak to, the more it seems to be a universal experience, so hold on to your hats it's a bumpy ride! The first part will talk about the Rollercoaster itself, the how and why behind it all, and the second will be around how to cope with it. For readers and appreciators of fan content, I urge you to have a little look too, and at the end I will add in some ways you can help support your favourites too~

Creatives Are Emotional Beings

Starting off with the obvious callout - most of us are. We feel things deeply, and that emotion can often be an incredible driving force behind our works. Whether we're creating around things we've experience, being inspired and influenced by our current emotions, or drawing on our well of imagination to work out what characters might feel (and often more importantly how/why they feel that way), emotion is a strong part of the process.

This can be an incredible strength! Tapping in to the deeper parts of ourselves, our experiences, and the emotions at our cores, can bring out the very best in our works across all creative formats. It also tends to help our audiences engage too, as they recognise their own emotions mirrored in the works.

The Downside to Strong Emotion - The Rollercoaster Effect

This chart was initially drawn up based on writing, but truly after speaking with a few beloved Discord friends it was quick to see that this easily applies to art as well, so I'm going to go over this slightly differently to the initial plan.

The Start Of Every Ride

We begin usually around a neutral baseline, or maybe a little below if we haven't created in a while, perhaps we might start higher than baseline with the rush of an exciting new idea. Either way, the first part of the project tends to go up in mood very quickly when we share those early unfinished parts.

For writers this might be a beta reader or sharing a sample of the work as they're still writing as a teaser, artists might see this as their initial sketch or linework stage if they're sharing progress and teasers too. Cosplayers could be the first part of a build, musicians sharing a few bars of the melody - whatever it is, that first little positive boost that says Keep Going is a powerful one.

But what happens next? Well, you still have more work to do! That initial boost and confidence can drop down to a slump, especially if it's taking longer to complete than you thought it would, and double that if something goes wrong that needs to be changed or fixed.

You may, hopefully, find it begins to rise as things start to come together again and that finish line in sight, but then...

I Finished Making The Thing, Now What?

Well, first you're going to feel that massive surge of satisfaction from completing the thing. Sometimes a dopamine rush in the brain, and all that excitement of "Finally I get to share the thing I worked so hard on! It's done!" So, off you go, you post it. You share the links, maybe drop them in some Discord servers, other social media...and then, often very quickly, it hits you.

Post Publishing Drop

Those of you in the convention and event scene might also know this feeling as "Con Drop", which can take a little longer to manifest. Post Publishing Drop hits quite quickly. Sometimes it might take a few hours, but other times it starts almost within minutes of posting as all that rush of energy finishing and publishing is just...gone.

If you're lucky, you might get some quick and early feedback, especially if you're a well known or popular creator, but I imagine even those of you who tend to get very high engagement can feel a lot of this too so I don't mean to exclude any of you in any way at all~ So what is it? What's happening? WHY?!

Well darlings all that adrenaline is wearing off and realistically you're not likely to get that creative feedback and validation instantly. So that wonderfully powerful emotional heart of yours is going to crack a little. It won't last, it won't stay this low, but good gods that lack of engagement and positive reinforcement can be devastating.

The first engagements you get - kudos, likes, reaction emotes on a Discord post - they may be enough to boost you right back up to your baseline or even a little above, until the worry creeps back in again. And I know that it does, clawing and slithering in the back of your beautifully creative mind whispering those horrible lies:

Why isn't this getting the reaction I hoped for yet? Is this work not as good as before? Have people stopped liking me? Is the website/platform hiding my work? Have I upset people somehow in ways I can't even see?

Then Back Up We Go, And What Goes Up...

Hopefully those voices don't get a chance to be too loud for too long before you see more of that engagement. Maybe it's a heartfelt comment from someone, or a share from someone you respect, or just a little surge of interaction in general. You're back on top, darling, your creative heart is soaring, finally your work is being seen in a way that reminds you why you put in all that time in the first place!

And each time, the high wears off again, with a drop, though the extremities of each is likely less and less as time goes on. Unless, of course, we make one little mistake and the gradual confidence build comes crashing back down...

The Perils Of Comparing

Sometimes this might be looking at someone else's work, seeing a similar style or similar topic get far more engagement than your own. It can be really hard not to feel discouraged by this, and falling into that trap of questioning where you're "going wrong" can lead to absolute agony - I urge you to do your best to move away from this as soon as you notice the feeling. I'll cover some proper techniques later though, I promise!

The other trap with comparison can be looking at your own past works, and over-analysing why some pieces never got the same love and appreciation as others. Picking it apart to find what you can do better is not as wise a plan as it seems for one simple reason:

Over half of this is down to pure chance!

It might be the time of day it was posted, or just one or two people seeing it and deciding to share it on that gives a work a massive boost to interaction and engagement. Maybe a work was lucky enough to get shared in a prominent community by one of the members, or even had someone with a huge following give it a boost.

At the end of the day, there seem to be very few ways to predict this. Of course there are some characters, topics, art styles, writing tropes, etc that will have a tendency to get more love from their respective fanbases - that's how popularity works - but there is no guarantee that, for example, two portraits of the same character in similar styles by different artists will have the same levels of engagement and "success". The main person you should be aiming to please with your own work is yourself~ After all, when working on it you will be the one going over it again and again, knowing every detail in and out, if you don't love the subject of those details your less likely to even reach that finish line~

And It All Begins Again

At the end of the cycle there's often one last spike up. Maybe it's a comment or interaction from someone who truly felt the depth of meaning in your work as you hoped it would, or you realise that it has done better overall in the numbers, or most often you get that creative surge of a shiny new idea that calls to you with that familiar siren song, promising the high of satisfaction and sweeping the memory of that Post Publishing Drop under the rug all over again so you won't see it coming when you trip on it.

How Do We Get Off This Ride? Where's The Safety Bar?

Darlings, be honest, you didn't want to stop. You still don't. That's why you're still right here, reading this with me. Your cycle might take a day, a week, a month, or you may go through the whole thing in a matter of hours.

Riding The Waves

The first way to begin coping is to prepare. Know yourself and how you're likely to feel, and plan ahead for it. If you know the drop is coming, you can try to avoid it, or deploy distress tolerance when it feels too much.

On a very simple level, this can be reminding yourself that the lows do not last, and those highs will still be there. You might even be tempted to try to regulate the highs as much as the lows, to bring everything a little closer in to the baseline throughout the cycle.

Distress Tolerance techniques can be important to practice when you're feeling close to your baseline and calm so that they're easier to turn to when you're feeling that low hit. There are lots of things that work for different people, so it might be trial and error - largely you're looking at relaxation techniques, distraction from the source of the distress, and/or community support.

You Can Rely On The Community!

It is ok to ask for help! You can ask people for reassurance, directly ask for feedback, or even just talk over how you feel with other creators and find out how they're handling things. Sometimes just knowing you're not alone and that your feelings are real, valid, and matter can be a real boon - that's why I'm here, spending a couple of hours putting all of this into words as best as I can for you all. I've felt this cycle too many times, but the more I talk about it with other fic writers the more I feel we are connected and that I'm not just losing my marbles over nothing~

We are human, we have emotions - strong ones, remember? - and there's nothing wrong with that at all!

There is nothing wrong with having emotions and experiencing them!

Knowing When To Step Away

If you know you're more likely to have a swift drop from lack of quick feedback, it's a great idea to plan to step away from socials as soon as you're done. Have an activity planned, or do it all write before bed so you can switch off and go to sleep. Turn off those notifications so you aren't fussing over each one of them as they come in and don't go back for a while.

Allow a realistic amount of time to pass for people to see and engage with your work before you worry it is invisible!

The Next Shiny Idea

Conversely, if you're feeling too much of a creative itch, then as soon as you're done sharing move right on to starting the next project. Let the initial surge of energy from completing and sharing something be the driving force to kickstart the next great adventure! That way you're thinking more about the new work, the sparkling allure of a fresh idea, rather than fixating on the success of the last.

Cashing in on that adrenaline rush to make a good head-start can boost you right to that early feedback stage too, then if you're really lucky when you hit the first drop-off you'll have the positive engagement from the last work to boost you back up, so in some ways you're overlaying your graphs to balance them out with each other.

Naturally this only works if you have the time and energy to do so. It's also important to know when to take breaks to avoid burning out.

General Mood Boosting Ideas

These might not work for everyone, but here are some things to try when you're in one of those lows. A lot of this may be trial and error and knowing yourself best, so treat this as a few things that may or may not be effective rather than Lia's Super Snake Oil Cure For Everything (you have to buy that from me separately, it's super expensive but it is delightfully cherry and cinnamon flavoured~)

Check in on your basic needs. Drink, food, meds (if applicable), sleep/nap, caffeine (if you usually have it), shower/bath/hygiene needs (even if just a quick freshen up it's better than nothing), fresh air/outside time (if possible), exercise/physical movement (if you're able to), social needs (can be in person or online, any social interaction/support)

Music can be a powerful mood tool. Sometimes it's cathartic to listen to music that matches your current mood, but other times it is better to listen to music with the mood you want to feel.

Media from the fandom, like the book/film/game/etc that you're making fanworks for - return to the thing that inspired you to create and remember all the things that you loved about it in the first place.

Look at other fanworks but be very cautious! Do this for inspiration, to look at things you do and don't like in other pieces, but do not do this if it will be likely to cause a mood drop for you.

Do something different and change up your routine. Something entirely new or something you haven't done for a while.

Try something small, not connected to a large piece. A few sketches, doodles, make a meme, write a few short lines of dialogue or a brief scene. Share something with far lower stakes for a little boost.

Talk to others in the creative community and have a bit of fun, maybe try some games together, whatever you like!

I'm Not A Creative, How Can I Help?

This also counts for creatives who want to support each other, too! Of course I will put the caveat that I do understand that not everyone is comfortable visibly interacting with spice and that's fine~

Drop a like or kudos if you enjoyed the piece, it takes a second and means the world~

Leaving a comment, even a couple of silly words of "I loved it" is great!

Leaving a longer comment, picking out your favourite parts? That is the kind of boost that lasts weeks darlings it really does.

Sharing the work is also a big boost, whether publicly or privately to friend/fan groups, but especially when sharing art/images please share the link with it not just the image or a screenshot~ let people find and appreciate the artist.

Follow or Subscribe or Turn on notifications if you really want to see more of their work, then you can interact sooner and give that much needed boost~

Try to be patient, especially with longer or higher effort works. Expressing excitement is a boost, but just be careful you're not putting too much pressure on the creator. We do have things going on behind the screen that can delay our plans at times.

Consider dropping an interaction on something else, or check in on how they're doing in general - a little kindness outside of just the works being produced can be a boost too!

The Grand Finale of the Rollercoaster

Thank you for staying with me to the end darlings, I know this was likely a bit of an emotional ride, but please do drop in some comments or reblogs with the other things you experience and how you handle the emotional whirlwind of being a fan creator. Always remember, you are valued for more than just what you can produce, your works are adored but the person behind them is worth so much more and always will be. Look after yourselves, I love you dearly~

[ken-dom]

Bite My Lip 'Til You Break It

Driver (solo) with mentioned Driver x gn!reader

1.2k words

∘₊✧ Summary: Driver tries to keep control after you move in next door and a made for TV romance movie catches his attention.

∘₊✧ Author's notes: That one Driver coded pic I've cheekily slipped into this fic header that says 'after kissing for 3 seconds' ... it's basically that but make the kissing imaginary. Thank you K for reading my complete nonsense first draft and still sticking around to the end! Title taken from THE DRIVER by Måneskin.

∘₊✧ Warnings/content: NSFW, fantasizing, kissing kink, cumming untouched, mention of blood/injury, hinted stalker Driver, sleepy Driver

∘₊✧─────────────────────✧₊∘

Driver had blocked the low murmur of the television set out of his field of awareness. He was focussed entirely on the car part sitting before him in the centre of the little kitchen table, and aside from the dull glow of the TV, the only other light source in his small apartment was the lamp directly above where his hands were working, delicate and careful, as though the carburetor was alive and could feel his touch.

Focussed entirely, that was, aside from one nagging thought rattling around somewhere in the back of his otherwise calm mind.

Actually, it was more of a memory than a thought, but it was evolving rapidly, and if he didn’t manage to keep that storm at bay for at least a little while, he wouldn’t be able to focus on his car at all.

His jeans already felt too tight, but he pressed on through the familiar sensation, not giving in. Because if he gave in now, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself next time either. Or the time after. No. He needed to keep control.

But you, and the gentle kiss you’d planted on his cheek yesterday as a thank you for him helping manoeuvre a new coffee table into your apartment, were taking over his every waking thought.

By now, the simple fantasy of kissing you on the lips he’d dreamed up the very first time he noticed you on your moving in day, had evolved into a featurette he would play on repeat in his mind.

It went something like this; snaking an arm around your waist, pulling you close, pressing his lips to yours as you turned weak in his strong arms, hearing you moan for him… 

The moan was the thing that made his blood boil the most.

It was totally fabricated, of course — he’d never actually heard you moan. But it sounded exactly like you in his imagination and it made his breath catch in his chest each time he got to that part. Sometimes, if he was feeling frivolous, you’d moan his name too, but he usually considered that a step too far.

And right now, he couldn’t get into it. He knew it would end in a long drive that did absolutely nothing to sate his desires, and finish up in him trying to listen though the wall in hopes he might just hear you moan for real before finally letting his urges consume him.

But it wasn’t always that easy, and he knew it.

Right now, he was doing an admirable job of holding those urges off, though. Aside from the ache between his thighs, but he wasn’t paying it any mind, so perhaps it would calm and leave him be. He did have control over this.

He did.

Just as the thought occurred to him he could do with something far more distracting than tinkering with the worn valves of this carburetor to keep thoughts of you at bay for a while, his ears pricked up. 

The background noise of the movie he wasn’t paying attention to seemed to change pace.

It was some mid romance movie, unknown actors in a made for TV production, that just happened to be next in the listings when he switched the set on earlier and never switched it back off again.

In honesty, he’d forgotten it was playing, until this shift in atmosphere caught his attention. The main two characters, who he guessed would have been through various cliché obstacles and dramatic misunderstandings in the last hour, were inches away from one another’s face, breathing heavily, and without realising, Driver began to breathe heavily too. 

He dropped the torque screwdriver, his fingers aching at how tight his grip had become, and placed both his palms flat on the cool surface of the table. The cold against his flesh reminded him of how tired he was, that you were probably asleep by now, and he wondered if he would be able to sleep at all.

They were kissing now, the couple on the screen, humming against one another’s lips, and Driver held back a hungry little hum of his own.

Hands began to tangle in hair, their passion palpable in the way the scene was shot, the score, the actors who were perfectly believable…

His fingers twitched. He’d like to do that. He’d like to push his hands into your hair, and have you scraping your fingertips against his scalp. It sounded so all-encompassing, so intimate, and he shuddered.

He could feel his cock throbbing against its denim confines, feel the slick precum leaking in short, mildly relieving pumps from the tip. He knew it would be soaking through his jeans, too, making a mess, but he didn’t care. He wondered whether you would be put off by that if you were here, kissing him properly. Maybe one day he would find out, and the thought didn’t do a thing to soothe the fire raging in his lower belly.

Driver’s eyes widened at the characters on screen as one lifted the other, legs around waists, lips travelling down to ghost over throats, laughing and sighing and touching.

His fingers clamped onto the edge of the table as he watched the short scene, completely and utterly captivated, knuckles turning white under the pressure of his grip.

He swallowed down a desperate moan, but he couldn’t stop his breath coming in short, heavy pants. He knew he sounded lewd, breathing so heavily just sitting here alone, but there was no one else’s breath for his to mingle with, and so he had to put up with the sound and simply imagine he could feel you whispering how hot you were for him in his ear.

He bit down hard on his lip at that, trying not to lose control completely, yet wishing it was you biting him, wishing you would make him bleed with unbridled passion for his kiss. Splatter some blood on his clothes to wet them a little more. His lip curled at the thought. Fuck, it was kind of hot.

And then they pulled away from one another, foreheads pressed together, and without warning, the romantic end to the character’s affections was the final nail in the coffin, tipping Driver completely over the edge into hot-blooded bliss.

His hips involuntarily bucked, and the table he was gripping shook, and his underwear was swiftly filled with a thick helping of hot, creamy cum. One hand shot up from the table so he could bite down on his fist, a single tear leaking from one eye as he tried his damnedest not to cry out your name and wake you through the wall.

It would be so delicious if you did hear him call out your name, and you came over to see what was wrong, catching him all hot and bothered, and then slowly leaning into him, and-

That was a fantasy for another time.

The friction of fabric against his sensitive cock wasn’t quite enough to satisfy him completely, but it was enough to see him through the unintentional peak, and the surprise of his spontaneous orgasm was exciting enough to heighten the sensation into something relieving rather than frustrating.

A whimper so quiet it was almost inaudible escaped his throat and the TV movie blurred into nothingness again as the tame love scene came to an end. Driver took himself off to the bathroom to clean up before taking his seat back at the kitchen table, and picking up that torque screwdriver again, with gently trembling hands and a slightly pleasure-addled mind.

Perhaps he should go to bed. He could finish this in the morning.

[jvstheworld]

My Ted Lasso Re-watch: S1E3 (part 3)

Trent Crimm - The Independent

Roy loves his niece. Only he can call her an idiot and ten dote on her completely.

Ted's celebration after he gets the header is everything to me. And Roy's look of exasperation is perfect.

Roy is surprisingly good around kids. No matter what, he compliments them on their header attempts. He knows that kids need praise, and because of the article that Trent wrote about 17 year old him, he knows how negative comments can affect someone.

Nice kick, Pheobe. Her and Roy have put in a lot of practice for her to be able to do that. I do feel bad for Ted's nose though.

Trent knows about A Wrinkle in Time because he has a young daughter and has probably read it to her at some point.

'Am I supposed to be the little girl?' ' I'd like you to be.' I love them both. This exchange was just everything.

Trent wears a blue band with daisies on his wrist. A gift from his daughter, perhaps?

Ollie from ep1 is back.

'Smell is already deep inside my brain.' Sir, you have no sense of smell. Jason has anosmia, so he can't smell the food. Too bad, because good curries smell amazing.

"I'm supposed to be getting paid?' Is that a reference to We're The Millers that got memed?

Ollie calls his father-in-law, dad. That's cute.

You can actually see the sweat forming on Ted's forehead as he's eating the spicy curry.

Ted's philosophy when it comes to coaching is that if you're going to get people to be the best on the pitch, then they need to be their best selves off it, too.

'Growing up without someone believing in you.' For Ted, his dad was probably the one who believed in him the most. And with he people he has coached, he has made himself their biggest supporter so that at least they had someone.

Trent doesn't believe that Ted means what he says about enjoying their time together. Trent is just their for a scope to potentially ruin Ted, yet walks out and begins to change his mind about him.

Roy is the best uncle. He reads his book to Pheobe, has an epiphany, and still manages to kiss her good night before leaving.

Trent writes fast because his article is previewed the same night. So he maybe typed it up in an hour or two.

Ted's style might not hit you over the head, but Roy's certainly will.

Keeley has the hots for Roy. And Roy like Keeley.

Trent doesn't gloat at the end of the season when they get relegated. He does end up becoming one of Richmond's and Ted's biggest supporters.

[ktarsims]

Check In Tag!

I was tagged by @siancyaniam. Thank you!

Why did you choose your URL?

Once upon a time, a very long time ago now, I discovered role-playing in a furry community back when I had not even a concept of what ‘furry’ meant. I ran a role-playing guild there for a while, based on FFVIII, and at one point I ran a contest to name the world. My own submission was: K’tarianen - which did not win the votes. Since it wasn’t going to be used there, I’ve since used various forms of it for my online nicknames, or sometimes character names.

How long have you been on tumblr?

One of my first posts on this blog was actually the Pattern Hoarder Tutorial, which was made in Jan. 2017. So... about five and a half years now? I actually do have a personal tumblr that I almost never look at anymore, which was created at least five years before that.

Do you have a queue tag?

I do not. Nearly everything I post runs through my queue or is scheduled though.

Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I started it in order to post the Pattern Hoarder Tutorial in a place where it could be seen and would not soon disappear or be lost. Patterns used to be the only CC I actually used, and I hadn’t found a tutorial for multi-layer (or multi-color channel) patterns, so I wanted to share what I’d figured out with everyone else.

These days I consider that I ought to turn it into PDF’s so that it could be easily uploaded anywhere. Perhaps someday I’ll make time for that.

Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

My icon is a crop of a photo of my simself. Perhaps someday I’ll change it, but I’m fairly satisfied with it.

Why did you choose your header?

Uh. I don’t think I have a header.. do I? *goes to look* OH. I do. LMAO. It’s the music room of the Olijar mansion which I spent far too much time on and was extremely pleased with when I had finished. They’re supposed to be the main family in my main save, but I think so far they’ve actually had less ‘screen time’ than some of the other households.

What’s your post with the most notes?

Perhaps unsurprisingly, a tips post I made forever ago with things I find very valuable knowledge in-game.

How many mutuals do you have?

I have... not the faintest idea, honestly. I did a google search to figure out how to find that out, but met only with more confusion. 

How many followers do you have?

Looks like the current count is 880, for whatever that’s worth. As a note, I don’t really keep track, nor do I check to see if people unfollow me, nor do I spend time to try to block people who might be inactive, bots, etc.

How many people do you follow?

458 currently. I feel like this number used to be higher, but probably some blogs were lost to Tumblr’s shenanigans, and some people deleted their blogs. I follow almost exclusively blogs who post TS3 content, as it’s the only game in the series I’ve yet played, but I do follow a few TS2 blogs. I’m also pretty picky in that I require posts to be properly tagged, for there not to be too many of them all the time, and usually for there to not be too many CC reblogs. I follow most creators directly, and a few CCfinds blogs in case I miss things, and don’t like to constantly see the same thing over and over again on my dash. Which I actually do keep up with most of the time.

Have you ever made a shitpost?

Uh. I think someone would have to define for me what a shitpost is before I could answer this question. xD I have heard the term a lot, but don’t actually know what it means, precisely. (When you use sarcasm to call something out?)

How often do you use tumblr every day?

Typically, every day. Though some days get skipped if I am too busy. And a few times, several months were skipped due to life taking over.

Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

I try to keep any disagreements I might have with other members of the sims 3 fandom on tumblr to private disagreements. Publicly posted arguments tend to blow up far too quickly and can result in unwanted consequences.

How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

Emotional manipulation has long been a tactic to get people to spread things they’d otherwise ignore. It doesn’t really work on me. I’ll reblog it if I feel the message is worth sharing, and appropriate to my blog, or important enough to be shared here regardless of what it’s about.

Do you like tag games?

I think tag games are kinda fun, I just rarely find the time to participate in them. ^-^;;

Do you like ask memes?

Since most of my gameplay is strictly gameplay without any well defined stories to accompany them, I usually don’t have much to say for ask memes. Sometimes they’re fun! Sometimes I just have no clue what I’d say.

Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Since, to my surprise, a lot of the creators I follow actually also follow me, I’d say there’s quite a few, so I won’t bother name-dropping.

Do you have a crush on a mutual?

I’m long past the age of crushes. xD They’re also very rare for me.

Ill tag: @murfeelee @simlicious @simsmono

[jensungf]

𝐌𝐘 𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄 🌌 𝐡.𝐫𝐣

summary: he was your best friend. you should’ve been happy when he went to go ask that girl whether or not she was his soulmate. so why was the universe pulling at your heartstrings now?

pairing: reader x best friend!huang renjun genre: fluff + soulmate!au word count: 1.6k warnings: none

6:23pm. you rolled your eyes as you read the time. where the hell was he?

your focus drifts to the onyx swirls dotted on your wrist, and you subconsciously trace all the scribbles making up your tattoo. you had been impatiently tapping your foot for what felt like forever, but in actuality, was about ten minutes. maybe i should just leave, you thought ruefully as the digit on your lit-up phone screen changed once again.

you had been through this too many times for you to simply count with your fingers. it was almost like clockwork at this point. despite this only beginning months ago, you knew the cycle. renjun would encounter someone, and would feel compelled to chase them down and ask if they were possibly his soulmate. unfortunately, it always ended in rejection.

you were always the one to comfort him when he returned with the same answer like always— that they had found their soulmate or they didn’t feel any connection at all. despite your annoyance of having to be inconvenienced at random hours of the day and having your quality time with him interrupted, you knew deep down it hurt you just as much as it hurt him.

yet you never once considered the reality that perhaps he would actually find his soulmate one day, and how that mere possibility would change your entire life.

if renjun was seriously going to confront that girl with a simple question of whether or not she was his soulmate, what was taking them so long? surely he would’ve texted you by now if he was successful, knowing you were still waiting for him. or at least let you know he was on his way back.

you winced at the thought that he might be too busy engaging in other endeavors, ones that involved less talking and more touching. you shook your head in an attempt to rid yourself of those thoughts, burying the odd feelings that made your stomach twist and turn. no, that wasn’t the renjun you knew. he wouldn’t be as daring as that despite his growing impatience to find his soulmate. besides, you wanted him to find his soulmate. there was no reason for your heart to twinge at the chance that maybe this time was the right time. you were his best friend. you were supposed to be happy for him, and hope for the best.

you hastily unlocked your phone, typing out a very annoyed albeit passive aggressive text to your heck of a best friend who decided to abandon you in the middle of your weekly dinner date to chase down a girl. you should’ve just left him moments ago, yet your feet stay planted in your spot outside the moomin plushie store.

“stupid renjun,” you muttered under your breath as you realized that the sky was beginning to settle into a hazy cloud of purple and pink. dusk was always your favorite time of day, yet you couldn’t help but feel a bit embittered that renjun wasn’t here with you to enjoy the view with. just when you were about to click send, a shadow casts over your figure and you lift your head.

“hey,” renjun says simply. his hands are shoved deep into his cream-colored denim jacket and he gazes at the sky instead of at you, causing you to stare quizzically at him.

“so....” you cock your head at his silence and wait for him to answer the obvious question. however, he makes no move to look you in the eyes. you hesitate, unsure what to do at your best friend’s abnormal silence.

usually he would be telling you that it wasn’t the right person and he had made a fool out of himself again or something along those lines, but this time, he remained silent. his eyes still avoid yours and you feel panic bubbling up in your chest. why was he acting like this? had something gone wrong?

“can i... try something?” he breaks the silence, asking quietly, almost as if he would break glass if he spoke any louder. he leans in slowly, and you freeze, your breath hitching. your mind screams for you to move away, to question what he was doing and whether he was in his right mind. yet your heart palpitates erratically and you make no move to turn away. his dark brown eyes gaze into yours, and you feel your head spinning.

despite your daze, you somehow feel your head nod ever so slightly, almost out of pure instinct with no control of your own body.

albeit with great reluctance, renjun takes this opportunity daringly. he closes the gap separating you both and gently presses his lips against yours. you melt into his warmth, closing your eyes as your hands subconsciously reach up to pull him in closer by gripping his jacket. his hands raise up to gently cradle your head and his lips feel like velvet, pliant against your own. the kiss is delicate yet firm, all hesitance dissipating as the seconds pass. you both pull away for air, but it felt as if you had just taken a deep breath of air for the very first time in your life.

people had told you about how they felt when they found the one, and you had never understood what they meant about how one person could make them feel just right until that very moment. how complete you had felt. your heart tugs almost as if you had finally crossed the thin line separating you from friends and lovers, something you never knew your heart had been aching for until now. you had always had renjun in your life, but you never knew how much he made you feel whole until this very moment. like he was the last missing puzzle piece that had finally found its place in your life, and nothing more could rival the feeling of this very moment.

he rests his forehead against yours and smiles meekly. your head was still reeling, and renjun moved his hand to gently cup your cheek. your mouth opens ajar, as you wrack your mind for the right words to say. “i… what? injunnie—”

he cuts you off by pressing another soft kiss to your lips. your eyes widen at his impulsive action, taken aback by how uncharacteristic that was. “i know you have a lot of questions, but i couldn’t resist,” he admits as pink dusts his cheek.

he entwines his hand with yours, fitting like two puzzle pieces as he leads you to the park bench. he looks up at the hazy sky once again with admiration before explaining.

“i never understood why it was so difficult to find my soulmate, when my tattoo was one of the more common ones,” he confesses as he glanced down to his moon tattoo. although it was indeed not as uncommon as yours, you had always admired the beauty it held, how beautifully and different it was drawn compared to the generic crescent symbols you had seen before.

it was as if renjun had drawn it with his own hand, with every tiny detail matching precisely with his art, his masterpieces. you look at yours, your wrist adorned with tiny scribbles of planets, stars, and even the sun scattered around all in one area.

suddenly it dawns on you. the space separating the sun and planets and stars is no longer empty, instead replaced with a replica of a moon. 

renjun’s moon.

“ever since we reunited with each other, i’ve been feeling more and more desperate to find them because i couldn’t help but feel something towards you, and i couldn’t live knowing you weren’t mine. at least— not until now.”

renjun is absolutely glowing when you look up at him.

“i guess you’re my universe, y/n,” he scoffs with a smile. his eyes meet yours, but despite the firmness in his voice, his telltale signs of embarrassment say otherwise.

and you believe him, because when he smiles at you, it’s as if you were the one who put the sun and moon and stars in the sky, as if you were the center of his galaxy. as if you were his universe.

“i never realized how much i needed you, until i saw that girl. she told me that she was the sun to someone else’s galaxy, and that’s when i realized that i had been trying to push away the pull towards someone who was always beside me for too long. somehow who should’ve been with me all along.”

you both locked eyes before bursting into laughter at his cringeworthy yet heartwarming confession. “when did you become such a cheeseball?” you snort. he locks you in a loving chokehold and your heart nearly skips a beat.

“we both wasted our time, didn’t we?” you remark with a carefree smile. all the worries, the gut feeling that made your head spin, the questions of why you couldn’t feel happy when it came to not having him, disappears within a simple kiss. the puzzle was done. the masterpiece was completed, but what was funny was the mere fact that you had no idea anything was even missing in the first place. you looked down at his wrist, now full with doodles of your galaxy. it glowed just like yours.

“we can make up for lost time.”

you nod and bask in his presence, gazing up at the stars scattered across and the luminescent moon peeking out against the darkness of twilight sky.

soulmates were an odd thing— to simply leave it up to a mere tattoo to connect you both when you had been connected since the very beginning. but you couldn’t have asked for anything more, when fate had already decided that you were his universe, and he was your moon.

you completed each other.

author’s note: i wrote this for @yongiefilms to thank her for being such a good friend and also bc i needed an excuse to post smth while i work on my main wip! i seem to have a curse where i cant write blurbs cus they end up turning into drabbles. oops? also i spent wayy more time on the header than the actual story lol ANYWAYS yay to my first renjun fic <3

[salenakingston]

The Future: Theories and Predictions

Boy what a wild ride this has been hasn’t it? The Future has been out for a few days now and I’ve seen a lot of interesting discussion going on about it. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to toss in my two cents about some things that I have noticed, a few theories/food for thought, and some predictions I have for the next video. Yeah we’ve got a while before then, but that gives us all plenty of time to expand on theories and ideas. Anyways, onto the rambling. I apologize if I am repeating some stuff that other people have already said <3.

1. Shiromori and Mystery

This seems to arguably be the biggest mystery (haha) that’s still present in these videos. A lot of what we can gleam from them is some interactions and still image flashbacks. It’s clear there’s a connection between her and mystery’s blood, and I’m pretty sure we can assume mystery is the one that brought her to life with his blood. And given the third image that is shown to us in Hellbent, I think it’s safe to assume they had some kind of symbiotic relationship, at least in the past.

But now with the release of future, there seems to be much more going on between them. I know these details have been pointed out by many other people, so I won’t drag on too long about this, but rather go over some things that stood out to me. I had seen one user point out the fact that Mystery hesitated to join the fight between Vivi and Shiromori at the start, only stepping in once Vivi’s face got cut again, and again when the vines started coming towards them.

It’s like Mystery doesn’t want to fight her, and this seems further supported after Shiromori loses her arms and they get frozen over. He steps in and protects her, something that surprises her and Vivi. He cares about her, even if he is afraid of her to some degree. There is more evidence to this when Shiromori’s body is destroyed (I’ll come back to this bit shortly). The look he gives is shock/horror at what happened. Sorry I am not good with description words.

One other interesting thing to note is that when Shiromori attacks Mystery when he snaps is that she can be shown crying. So she to some level cares about Mystery as well, to the point where yes she wanted his blood, but not want him dead. Just an interesting detail.

So with all that being said do I have any predictions about this going into the next video? Honestly not really, at least not at the moment. Considering how the ending of the Future is set up, I’m not sure how much more information we will get on these two. I know the main creators have mentioned the possibility of doing more after this current arc. Maybe this would be something to explore if more is not shared. One thing I will say about Shiromori is I don’t believe she is dead. Yes, we see her body disintegrate, but her heart remained in tact. After all Vivi, only hit it and didn’t break it as far as we could see.

2. Mystery and his tails

Now, I will say upfront that I know next to nothing about kitsunes and their lore, so for a lot of this I’ll just be going off what we see in the videos. I do know that the tails in lore connect with a kitsune’s age, but I am not sure if that plays a role here, as many have already pointed out that in the Shiromori flashbacks he has nine, in the Ghost flashback he has six, and present he has seven, which become nine at the end of the Future. Since that all has been talked about, I have something more to chew on in terms of this and Mystery’s heart itself.

It seems that to Mystery, his tails are connected to other beings, beings that he cares about, as evident to him growing his eighth tail when Vivi gets injured and his ninth when Shiromori “dies.” Each person is represented by a stream of color coming out of his heart.

I do find it interesting that of all the colors, those are the two with patches on them, making me wonder if this also ties into his connection with Mushi and Mystery’s past, but I don’t have enough to go off with that. What I am more interested in are the other colored streams. A lot of people have been connecting colors to others we know, like magenta/purple being Lewis and yellow/oragne being Arthur, something I also support. Green might be linked to ??? but that makes me wonder something I’ll get into in another bullet point.

Bringing this all back to my point, this is just something to think about more than a theory. If we assume that this is the case, then did Mystery grow to six tails after everything that happened in the cave, or did he start out with six? Along with this, if we assume who some of these colors belong to, who got hurt or killed between the time in the cave and present day to make Mystery have seven tails? I could just be looking too deep into this, but thought it was interesting to look at when put into the context of the previous videos.

3. Mystery and ???/Multiple ???

I know that header might seem a bit confusing but stick with me on this one. There’s a clear connection between Mystery and ??? that is more of less confirmed by the end of the video when ??? reaches out and grabs Mystery’s heart. It’s clear that ??? has got a hold on Mystery... but my question is how? The last time we saw it was in Freaking Out, and it wasn’t for very long. It was sure quick to run away when Shiromori popped out of the ground, looking very worried. Almost as worried as someone else we know.

More importantly though is how did ??? not only find the Mystery Skulls gang, but catch up to them running around as just an arm? He has been hanging out at the cave until Shiromori even showed up. We at least know Shiromori was able to track them due to the flowers she spawned, and was fast enough underground to keep up with two moving cars going at a very high speed. I find it a bit hard to believe that ??? was following them the whole time, or was even able to keep up.

I will admit that there is still not a lot we know about ??? and it is very possible that there is more that will be shown in the next video, but this does give me a couple theories that are worth looking into.

Either ??? might have been a part of Mystery the whole time, or the events of the cave left a bit of ??? not just in Mystery, but Arthur’s arm as well, which would mean there’s two... pieces for lack of a better word, running around. I’m not swayed towards one theory over the other, as both seem to have a good backing to them. There is a clear connection between the two of them though as evidence from a couple frames that pass rather quick after Mystery grows his eighth tail.

He’s already changing at this point, and it only fully goes through at the end once Mystery’s passed out. I assume that is because it is a point when ??? could easily take over. But that also harkens back to my second theory. How? If all of ??? is still trapped in Arthur’s arm, how would Mystery be changing like this? There’s no way the arm was somehow able to get inside him off screen right? It makes me wonder if the arm (the physical arm, not just ???) will turn up in the next video and expand more on how it was able to do this.

4. Arthur’s arm/??? and Lewis

And that finally leads me to my final point, being Arthur’s own arm, specifically the left one in both senses. Yes, it’s metal now, but that doesn’t mean he’s got full control over it. At the end of the Future, when Mystery starts to transform, Arthur’s arm really starts to freak out. I only really noticed when @ectoimp​ and @arthurtristankingsmen​ pointed it out on my feed, but the arm seems to be moving on its own and pulling him towards Lewis.

Now I’ve seen a couple theories floating around about this. One thing I would like to point out is the color of the sparks. I’ve seen people tribute this to Arthur himself, but I think it’s just simply a show of the metal arm itself. It’s metal and it’s a show of it sparking and malfunctioning. Yes, we saw this when Lewis’ sparks when into Arthur’s arm and shorted it out, but he’s a ghost and that was his power. These may just be normal mechanical sparks coming out.

Another theory was that it was pulling Arthur towards his friends. While yes, I could see that, there’s one key detail, and that’s Arthur pulling his arm away from Lewis once he sees what it’s doing. Now why would he be physically holding his arm back if it only wanted him to be back with his friends?

I’m more inclined to believe that Arthur’s arm might still be possessed in some way, or ??? still has some kind of influence over it, even if it is metal. With that in mind, something to think about, why is it still going for Lewis? We know it was used to push Lewis off the cliff and kill him, but Lewis is dead now. Granted he is a ghost, but what can Arthur’s arm do to him? It can physically touch him as we saw in Hellbent, but what else? Is there some connection between Lewis and ??? that we don’t know about? Or is it perhaps ??? trying to get rid of another threat since Lewis is still around? Maybe Vivi as well? Just some things to think about.

Also, I wonder if this has a deeper meaning between Mystery, ???, and Arthur given the “vision” we see in Freaking Out where Arthur’s arm can also be seen sparking at the sight of Mystery in kitsune form. Perhaps more than just clever foreshadowing?

5. Predictions

This is mere speculations now, but what can I see coming out of this and going to the next video? Boy we’re hitting the climax and I’m super excited. Ok, so most of the new videos have been starting with some kind of intro before the actual song starts. I imagine the next one will as well. About what I am not sure.

Now this is purely based on a post made by @heilos​, but the word designs was used. Designs, plural. We’ve already seen Murder Mystery, so who else could it be? I’ve got three guesses on who could be getting some kind of design. Arthur: if something is really going on with his arm and ??? starts to take over again, ??? itself: maybe getting a look of his own rather than just being a walking arm, and Lewis: hell, if Mystery can change forms and is a supernatural being, then why can’t Lewis do the same? Especially if Arthur and Vivi play some kind of role in that.

I also think Arthur might play some kind of larger role than just being the one running away. I image his will still do that, but think about it. He’s had experience with ???, he’s got a soft spot for Mystery, even after what was done to his arm, and maybe that could lead to him being a key to helping bring Mystery back to himself.

Holy shit that got long. Sorry for my rambling, but I love sharing about something I care this much about. We may have to wait another two years, but the wait is always worth it! Please let me know your thoughts if you have any or expand on some of these ideas! <3

[confusedhost-archive]

She-Ra tumblr au

I made this with @maycombhoney​ at some point and was thinking about it earlier today.

---

Adora: Has a popular sideblog named She-Ra about her boxing and fighting abilities but very few people follow her main account. Her sideblog is simple, with a lot of self defense tips and stuff, and sometimes people see reblogs of stuff that are supposed to go to her main account show up. They’re pretty boring, so they usually don’t check out the main account

Glimmer: Lots of sparkly moodboards and stuff with a really pretty aesthetic, and that’s all you see when you follow, but once you’re following, your dash starts having a bunch of vent posts about her mom and there’s a lot of discourse. Glimmer gets mad at posts easily. There’s also a lot of anon hate to her. It’s kinda depressing. If she ever posts art, she often has to take it down because no matter how often she says not to, people repost it, and she can’t let her mom connect the dots. 

Bow: He talks a lot about bows. Shows off a lot of his arrow creations and how-to's on making them at home. They’re too complicated to actually work though. Most of his followers find him through Adora’s side blog She-Ra, where he’s often tagged. It’s usually because she posts selfies of their adventures and he’s in them. Glimmer is too, but she’s well known on her own. 

Double Trouble: Their username is from some small fandom no one has ever heard of, their profile pic is from some abandoned cartoon from a year ago, their header is a gif scene from at least three different shows that were shot in the same place, and their line underneath is a quote from an old musical from the 90′s. The blog is about none of those and has a bunch of posts from a show no one can find. They often get asks about what show it is, to which they give a name, and when they’re asked for a link, it never seems to work. People have given up. At some point, someone noticed that you can actually figure out what’s going on in the show if you look at the gif sets and put them together in order of episode (which is labeled at the bottom). See the thing is, Double Trouble is using the mystery and confusion of this blog to advertise the show they wrote, directed and acted out. No one knows how it’s possible, but the people who know what happened are both under oath to not tell anyone and also extremely confused as to how Double Trouble managed it. Including me. I don’t know how it was managed, but I do have a theory that I’m about to send to @sheblah​. This does mean that she’s required to post my thing the moment she sees it.  Edit: She didn’t so I have to take matters into my own hands. Here’s the post I made with it

Catra: Catra’s posts have been a lot of discourse posts, with her being wrong. You can see in the tags that she knows exactly what she’s doing and that she’s making the wrong posts to be a jerk. She and Adora used to be mutuals (no one knows how, there’s no way their blogs should have ever crossed) but Adora saw one of her discourse posts and blocked her for around a month. After that, Catra stopped trying to reconnect. Now! Catra is less of a jerk on her tumblr and posts a bunch of cute photos of her therapy animal, Melog (no one knows what species Melog is but whatever-) and reblogs a lot of stuff about therapy and anger management. One day she put up a post about how she was getting therapy, and people spammed her with congratulations. She told them that she was crying and thanked them all deeply. Sometimes people still bring up how horrible she was and she has to put out a post saying how she recognizes this and she apologizes for everything she did. She nearly never answers the hate asks. She’s getting better. 

Perfuma: She has a cottagecore aesthetic account, it’s really pretty. She once made a cactus hating post and it blew up. She gets anons making fun of her for it to this day. Very annoying. Most people follow her for the discourse she participates in. It can be quiet for weeks, months even, and then she’ll find some idiot saying something dumb and will fight for, days sometimes, to set them right. It used to be Catra that she would fight with a lot. They ended up becoming enemy mutuals, following each other in order to mess up the other’s discourse post. This also meant that Perfuma was the first to see and cause change in Catra’s way of thinking and actions. Perfuma always reminds herself of the fact that she helped someone change for the better once. She’s proud.

Frosta: Is not legally allowed to be on tumblr. It’s a problem. But at the same time she just? Doesn’t seem to follow anyone at all? Sometimes people will send asks about a post that went viral, and she never seems to know anything about it. She hasn’t been affected by tumblr at all, and seems to post something, answer questions, and then log off to make her next thing. It’s... kind of strange, actually. Everyone knows she’s underage, but has no proof, so they can’t tell her to get off tumblr or anything. And if anyone asks how old she is, she gives a random number (A few favorites are “69,” “420,” “I stopped counting after the first hundred years,” “It’s a bit of a pardox actually, because in total I’m around 80, but I’ll be born in three years so... I’m -3 apparently,” “Old enough to beat you in a drinking contest,” “I’m a god, and have no beginning nor end,” and the best of them all, a video of someone being thrown into the air by a pillar of ice with the caption, “Begone thot.”) Frosta picks and chooses her battles when it comes to answering asks. No hate is ever seen on her blog and no one is sure whether it’s because she never gets it, or because she never answers it. She doesn’t get it. 

Entrapta: A lot of cool videos and vlogs and experiments. After about three months of being on tumblr, someone said they had an experiment she might like, and asked if they could send an ask about it and have her try it out. After that, she made it her pinned post to say, “Taking experiment requests! Have something you want me to try out?” She’s always tinkering now, and she loves it! Someone once asked her to explain one of her videos more simply, and she did! But it was too simple, and the person who asked thought she was making fun of them. A helpful follower of Entrapta’s made a better explanation in a reblog and was seen as better, so Entrapta now lets her followers explain how they see is best! She’ll reblog it onto the main account so everyone can see. If they need help, she can always take back the reigns! 

Mermista: No one is quite sure what her blog is about. There’s a lot of posts about this really obscure murder mystery book series. The ones made by the blog itself are videos of arson and mild theft. The videos are horrible quality, and no one knows what’s going on until at the very end of this three minute long vid, the camera stills, zooms in, and shows a boat on fire. It’s not on the news. Sometimes you’ll see a reblogged post that seems eerily relevant to the posts before and after. The mood the entire way through is basically just this meme

She once made a uquiz that told you what crime you committed. It is... scarily accurate. The questions had nothing to do with the answer at all. You are horrified. There was once an audio that was basically just running for three minutes with sirens in the background (the post has gone viral and people are beginning to wonder if the sirens are actually mermaid type sirens. It’s becoming more and more likely every time it’s addressed). The audio was a voice reveal. It was one word, and it just made everyone who heard it pause for a moment and sit in complete confusion and mild fear before scrolling further, because they live in the lie that perhaps if they go further, they’ll understand what’s going on. It was just, “Fire,” in the most astonished voice, and then the crackling of a flame. The blog never seems to end. After hours of scrolling, you finally reach the end, and there is and never has been context for a single thing the blog has done. You are slowly filled with dread and anticipation for the next post as you hit the follow button.  

[punkpoemprose]

December 9th- Blood of My Blood

Universe: Vampire AU [Part 1] [Part 2] Rating: T (Teen & Up, mentions of sex) Length: 1030 Words

A/N: This was previously published in the Monster Mash Frozine but I’ve done some editing to it since and have never posted it on tumblr before. Is this cheating? Yes. Am I doing it anyway because I make the rules? Yes. Also a “final” engagement in this universe is coming later in the month, so this was necessary to catch everyone up.

“Are you sure I the building won’t ignite when I walk into the chapel?”

He laughed, pulling her close to his chest. His eyes were closed tight and he couldn’t see her, but he could feel her. He let his hands wander across her back, feeling her and how she melted into the touch.  

He wasn’t a superstitious man, he couldn’t be in a relationship like theirs, but Anna was insistent that he not see her in her gown until she was walking down the aisle. She’d called it bad luck, but it hadn’t kept her from slipping a cool hand over his eyes and pulling him into her bedroom after her sister left to call the carriages.

“Because of all the premarital sex or…?”

She swatted his chest with the hand not covering his eyes, but he heard the laugh she tried and failed to hold back. It was one of the loveliest sounds he’d ever heard. It brought a smile to his face and he hoped soon that he’d be able to make her laugh everyday of their married lives. He hoped too that in just a couple years he’d have an eternity of her laughter to look forward to.

They’d decided that they would do their best to use the last two years of her life to well and truly live. He’d join her after, he’d let her turn him.

Her mouth found his neck as they always did, her cool lips resting over his pulse point. He could feel her fangs pop from her gums even through the plushness of her lips. The one thing he’d miss when she changed him was the feeling of her feeding from him, the intimacy of her taking sustenance from his body as he willingly gave it was something that was, to him, better than sex.

Though he couldn’t complain about the sex in the slightest.

He slid his hand up from her lower back, feeling the softness of the silky fabric beneath his fingers. He imagined how the white must look against her pale skin, how it must make her freckles pop even more than they usually did. He wondered if she’d blush.

She could when she was fed well, and he loved the idea of Anna, his Anna, being a blushing bride. She would like that, he thought.

He let his hand drift from her and move to his own collar, loosening the cravat he’d just put on and unbuttoning the top buttons of his shirt.

“Kris,” she muttered against his skin, “You’ll muss your clothes.”

He grinned, imagining the concerned look on her face from the feeling of her lips curving down in annoyance. He was looking forward to making her fret over foolish things like this, if only to see her smile again when he teased her or fixed the little issues she had concerned herself over.

“If I wasn’t a little mussed, I wouldn’t be yours, would I?”

He felt the hum vibrating from her lips to his skin more than he heard it. He let go of the fabric and let his hand drift back to her lower back while the other sat between her shoulder blades. He’d let her make the decision, knowing that she’d understand the gesture as an offer, not a demand or an insistence, but an offer. It felt right to him, that she’d have him on her tongue before their wedding. If it weren’t for the concern that her sister would return any moment, he’d suggest he taste her in return.

Perhaps after the wedding. It was only fair of course.

If her vampirism wasn’t enough to make lightning strike the church, his willingness to indulge in lust for his fiancé would surely do the trick.

“I know you always say it doesn’t hurt,” she said quietly, “but I don’t want you uncomfortable during the ceremony.”

He pressed his palm a bit more firmly into her upper back, encouraging her mouth to drift lower across his shoulder. It didn’t feel as good when her fangs didn’t pierce his neck, but he supposed his shoulder would be less obvious, particularly as he was soon going to cover it with a black jacket over his shirt. He rarely bled much after her bites anyway.

“I know you’re going to tell me you’re not hungry,” he replied, “So we’ll just call this anxiety relief. You know I relax when you…”

She sighed, clearly giving in to his argument when he felt her lips part just before his shoulder blade. She was always careful to find a place she thought wouldn’t hurt with the initial bite, and he had a few little scars across his neck and shoulders, barely noticeable to anyone who wasn’t them or another hunter, to guide her along.

 He felt it not a moment later, the sensation of her fangs piercing his skin, and the lapping of her cool tongue against him as she warmed and satiated herself from his veins. It felt almost like a kiss to him, but deeper. When she bit him there was a sharpness for a instant, but then the overwhelming sensation of togetherness and want that bonded them in these moments.

He let his head loll a bit towards hers as she drank him in, humming in appreciation as she fed, keeping his eyes closed for her despite her hand not being there to cover them. As she drank, he thought about how she was soon to be his wife, and that there was no better start to their union than sharing this intimacy.

Blood of my blood, he thought as she licked his skin clean and pressed a kiss to the barely sore flesh. The soreness too was part of the intimacy, that he could press his fingers to it later and feel the light ache of where her bite had marked him as hers.

“You’re anxious?” she asked finally as her fingers, now slightly warmer, set to buttoning his shirt, refixing his cravat, and slipping once again over his eyes.

“Of course I am,” he said, barely able to keep himself from laughing as he added, “The church might catch aflame.

[denkimystery]

Denki Mystery: Six Idol Statues of Taboo - Chapter 4

Taxi Driver: It’s so hot isn’t it!? It’s so hot! The aircon isn’t working well!

Karatsugu: I- I think the aircon might be broken… Isn’t it. Ah, it’s hot... Eugh. I thought it would be cold in here.

Taxi Driver: Sorry! Thought it would be better just cause we’re inside? Bwahahah!

[[The taxi driver focuses his attention on the other passenger whose been silent the entire time.]]

Taxi Driver: What's more, your friend next to you? Aren’t you hot? Wearing a bag over your head?

Toshio in a paper bag: It’s very hot. Huh, Karamatsu-niisan are you ok?

Karatsugu: … Who’s Karamatsu? … It’s so hot…

Toshio in a paper bag: Hey~. Driver-san. You’re my older brother… Osomatsu-niisan, right?

Ozo: Eh!? Well you’re close? Too bad! The name's Ozo. Ozo Akashika.

Ozo: Besides, I don’t have any younger brothers? Actually, Passenger-san ? Aren’t you that young master*? From Ogami-san’s place?

Toshio in a paper bag: So you know who I am… That bag, what kind is it~?

Ozo: This paper bag from a hamburger shop**? … You want it? Am I right? I know. You’re always wearing paper bags, right?

Toshio: Thank you!

Rustling. [[Toshio removes the paper bag on his head, folding it neatly before he takes the new paper bag from Ozo, examining it in his hands.]]

Toshio: I think, my name might actually be Jyushimatsu.

Ozo: Hm? That just now… For a moment, I thought I saw a very familiar face? Hmmm~? I wonder if the heat is getting to me.

Karatsugu: … Driver-san, whose last name is Akashika... Are you, perhaps, from around here?

Ozo: Ah~, It's not like I'm from an old family or anything! Not a rare surname at all around here! Names with Aka and/or Shika!

Ozo: 'Though, I think back in the old days? I heard there were a lot more different surnames…

Karatsugu: Oh…? For example? Like what?

Ozo: For example? Hm, like Matsu-… Ah!!

Screech! [[The tires skid to a halt.]]

Toshio: Waaah!!!

Karatsugu: Waaah!?!?!

Ozo: Nonononooo!! I shouldn't be talking about this! Passenger-san, are you trying to interrogate me or something? I beg of you to stop!

Karatsugu: No, what are you-!? Don't brake so suddenly!? Are you ok!? Beg me to stop what?

Toshio: Really, really!!

Ozo: I don't want to, I'm sorry! This story, you know... it's very dangerous. We shouldn't talk about it so carelessly or else something might come out, you know?

Karatsugu: Wh-what was that? C-could this be a chance at a scoop!? A "Typical Scary Story" really came to meee~!?

[[Toshio wears his new hamburger patterned paper bag on his head.]]

Toshio in a hamburger shop paper bag: That's a very last minute name! Also, I like this new paper bag!!

[[Toshio faces his brothers showing off his new paper bag.]]

Toshio in a hamburger shop paper bag: When you put this paper bag on your head, the "M" turns upside down and looks like a mouth!

Ozo: What's do you mean "pretty last minute"?... Passenger-san. Wanna hear this story? It's hot, why don't we talk more over a cup of iced coffee?

Karatsugu: Heh, let's hear it then! Let's talk about the taboos of this place.

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11

Mod notes: formatting on mobile is SUCH utter garbage. Why is tumblr's site so broken no matter what platform? Like ergonamic design is just FUCK ALL??? What the FUCK is going on with the text button? I HAD TO TAP MULTIPLE TIMES TO MAKE A HEADER? I don't even know??? How to make a readmore??? I cant even color toshio's texts as yellow the fuck??? I dont know how this will look like once posted, but I'll fix it as soon as my laptop gets fixed, if ever! Edit: Guess what? apparently the colors you add on mobile don’t carry over when you edit the post on desktop. This SUCKS.

ACTUAL Mod notes: In case it wasn't obvious, the hamburger shop is a reference to McDonalds, except it's logo is just the "M".

Also it isn't established properly but Ozo is from Akatsuka. His last name Akashika "赤鹿" uses the same kanji as the ones from Akatsuka "赤ツ鹿" Village and Akashika "赤鹿" Station, pronounced the same as the latter, "あかしか".

*Ozo uses the term Botchan which means Young Master, or the only son of a well-off family.

**The specific name of the totally not mcdonalds burger shop is "Matudo" which comes from McDo, Ma-cu-do changing the c to t. This is from the Hesokuri Wars Stage Selection screen.

[panharmonium]

For Want of a Woodwright (Parts 1-3)

[I DON’T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED; DON’T ASK ME; JUST ROLL WITH IT]

i come bearing gifts - here are some snippets inspired by the web of “will comes to camelot” AU ideas spawned by this lovely anon ask, which i cannot appreciate enough :)  thank you very much to the anon who sent those messages, and to everybody else who jumped in the sandbox - i had fun with this, and i hope you do too!

(also, anon - if this is an idea you are ever planning on writing yourself, the title is all yours.  feel free to take it back anytime!  i am using it here just to pay tribute to your idea and to the original title you sent me, but it belongs to you for life, and i will change this post header in a heartbeat if you need it for your own purposes! :D )

author’s note:  these are VERY rough, not meticulously edited, and not even remotely close to final drafts.  they are hardly even first drafts, in fact.  they are not necessarily connected to each other, or in order, or part of any actual coherent plot, and they do not directly adhere to the plan laid out in the original post, either; they are just snapshots of fragmentary scenes that popped out of me yesterday when i wasn’t paying attention.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

and now, everybody can have a little AU, as a treat!   

1. divine providence

“I can’t see anything wrong with him, Merlin.” 

Gaius rinsed his hands in a basin of water, his wide sleeves pushed back to the elbows.  Will, perched on a stool, pulled his shirt back over his head, looking starkly out of place in the center of Gaius’s spacious circular chambers.  

“It looks to be healing quite well,” Gaius continued.  “I don’t see anything to worry about.”

“But on the inside, though,” Merlin said, attempting to drag Will’s tunic up again.  “What if - there could be something wrong underneath, couldn’t there?”

“The man can’t look at my insides, Merlin,” hissed Will, wresting his shirt out of Merlin’s grip.  “Get out of it.”

“I’m only saying - ”

Gaius interrupted Merlin’s nervous rant with a precisely-cocked eyebrow.  “Merlin, if you do not trust my medical opinion, then I am afraid I am going to have to refer you out, though I think you may have a difficult time explaining the facts of this case to Ephram or Hildegard, considering the circumstances.”  He looked at Will.  “Would you like someone else to examine you, young man?”

“No, sir,” Will said, with a pointed look at Merlin.  “I’ve done without physicians my entire life.  I think I’ll manage.”

“I only mean - ”  Merlin was vibrating in place, a bundle of frustrated energy; he looked like his fingers itched to make another grab for Will’s shirt.  “I’m not sure what I did.  It might not have mended properly, Gaius.  What if I did something wrong?”

Gaius replaced the cover to his medicine bag.  “I’m not entirely sure you did anything at all, Merlin.”

Merlin exchanged a glance with Will, then looked uncomprehendingly back to Gaius.  “But I must have done.  He - well, he - ”  Merlin fumbled over this deceptively simple explanation as if attempting to climb an extremely slippery slope whose peak he did not want to reach in the first place.  “He was - well.  You know.”

“I was dying,” Will said, ignoring the way this made Merlin look like he was going to be sick all over the floor.  “Definitely.  I mean, I could tell.”

“I believe you,” Gaius agreed, frowning at Will’s chest.  “That’s not a very good spot for a penetrating wound, young man.”

Will turned a little bit red.  “Yeah, well,” he muttered.  “It’s not as if I planned it that way or anything.”

“Gaius,” Merlin interrupted, as if he were clinging to the very last thread of his patience.  “What did you mean, I didn’t do anything?”

Gaius just shook his head and dried his hands on a clean piece of cloth.  “A mortal wound could not have been healed by magic or conventional means, Merlin.  And it certainly could not have been healed by you.”

This appeared to jar Merlin out of his jittery state, as his mouth popped open in an offended ‘o.’  “Why not by me?”

Gaius sighed.  “Merlin, the healing arts are not simply a matter of willing a patient well again.  If you took any interest in my work at all, you would know - ”

“I am interested in your work.  I’m just - ”  Merlin gestured helplessly with his hands.  “You know.  Busy.”

“With what?” Will scoffed.  “His Majesty’s royal washing?”

Merlin turned a ferocious glare on Will, but Gaius interceded before the two of them could start bickering.  “Busy you may be, Merlin, but even someone as busy as you ought to know by now that any attempt at magical healing requires an exact understanding of anatomy and physiology.  How can you possibly expect to mend something when you don’t know what it is supposed to look like, or how it is supposed to work?”

Will gave Merlin a sage look and nodded like this was the most sensible thing in the world.  Merlin wanted to thump him over the head.

“I don’t see why I couldn’t have helped,” Merlin said stubbornly.  “I felt something.” 

“Oh, did you, now?”  Gaius gestured at Merlin’s own chest.  “Very well, then, Merlin.  What can you tell us about the heart?”

“It’s - ”  Merlin cast a glance around the room, as if hoping to see a helpful diagram pasted up on the walls somewhere.  “It circulates the blood.”

“And how exactly does it accomplish this vital function?”

“It - well, it sort of...squeezes, like.”

“Would you care to elaborate on that?”

“Erm.  No.  I don’t think so.”

Gaius did not look impressed.  “And can you perhaps tell us what the healthy human heart is meant to look like?”

“It’s - you know.  It’s got sort of...different bits to it.”

Gaius raised his eyebrows.  

Will rubbed at his chest, frowning.  “Maybe I ought to have some other bloke look me over after all.”

Merlin did thump him that time, a single solid smack across the back of the head.

Gaius folded his arms, the picture of long-suffering exasperation.  “I am simply saying, Merlin, that you do not possess the requisite knowledge to mend anyone in any such way that would result in the living, breathing human being seated here before me.”

“Cheers,” Will said.

Merlin looked vaguely ill.  He watched Will out the corner of his eye as if expecting him to drop dead at any moment.  

“Then what?” Merlin asked.  “I did something, Gaius.  I felt it.”

“Perhaps,” Gaius conceded.  “But certain death cannot be averted by any magic known to men.   Only through the intercession of powerful, external forces are such things accomplished.”

That got Merlin and Will’s attentions.  “Come again?” Will said dubiously.

Gaius put a thoughtful hand to his chin, considering the perfectly healthy human being sitting on his stool.  “Does it pain you at all?”

“No.”

“He’s lying,” Merlin said immediately.  “He’s always grimacing when he uses that arm - ”

“I’m always grimacing when I use any of my arms, because you’re always talking rubbish at me while I’m trying to work - ”

Gaius crossed between the two of them, cutting off another potential argument.  “I’ll compound something for the inflammation.  I expect any lingering soreness will pass, in time.”  He opened the various cupboards on the other side of the room and began rooting through them.  “Perhaps you two might like to take a walk,” he suggested, pulling out a vial to inspect its yellowing label, “unless, of course, you’d like to stay and help me, which I can’t imagine would be the case - Merlin, you can take an herb sack, I’ll be low on arnica once I’ve finished with this - ”

“Gaius - ”

“And if you’re going down through the market, you can stop by Benegar and Beata’s.  I’ve ordered an ounce of black bryony through them twice now, and not heard a blessed thing about whether it’s arrived or not - ”

“Gaius,” Merlin repeated.  “I don’t understand.  What did I do?”

Gaius finally turned to look at him, a clear vial clasped in one hand and a bundle of dried leaves in the other.  “I’ve no idea, Merlin,” he said frankly.  “But whatever it was, I am certain you did not do it on your own.”  He eyed Will, a curious look on his face.  “Perhaps you simply asked for the right favor at the right time.”

Gaius hung there for another moment, considering, then laid his ingredients down on the table and crossed to the supply closet, opening the door and stepping inside.  Will and Merlin, unable to think of anything else to ask him, watched Gaius’s back as he rummaged, Will with a deeply skeptical look on his face, and Merlin looking pale.

“Will you get a grip?” Will muttered out the corner of his mouth.  “You look like you’re the one he ought to be examining.”

Merlin said nothing, but lifted his fingers and brushed them against the place he had made Gaius check too many times, the place Gaius had said was so bad for penetrating wounds, the place where Will hated being poked and prodded.  There was a heart under there, one that circulated blood, one that had different bits to it, one that squeezed.  Merlin could not have sketched its anatomy, or described its functionality, but he knew exactly what it was supposed to feel like under his fingers.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Merlin murmured, feeling for the steady beat, beat, beat.

2. blackmail

“I ought to have the man hanged!”

Arthur’s padded aketon went flying across the room, snagging on a weapons rack beside the fireplace and rattling the upright row of spears.  Merlin ignored the mess-in-the-making, instead continuing to do up Arthur’s bed.  If the item of clothing hadn’t come flying at his head, it wasn’t his problem.  

“You could have him hanged,” Merlin said mildly, tugging a new sheet into place.  “If that’s what you really want.”

Arthur rounded on him, stabbing at Merlin with one pointed finger.  “What on earth would you bring him here for?  What possessed you?”

“I didn’t bring him anywhere.  He came on his own.”

“To Camelot?”  Arthur’s eyes were wild with disbelief.  “A sorcerer?  For what purpose?

Merlin fought down a prickly wave of irritation.  “For me.”

Arthur looked Merlin up and down in a faintly skeptical way.  Merlin bit his tongue to avoid saying something that would land him or Will in deeper trouble.  “Are you going to report him to your father?” he asked instead.

“I ought to,” Arthur growled, his face thunderously shadowed.

Merlin picked up one of Arthur’s pillows from the bed and removed its dirty casing with a flick of his wrist.  “You can, if you like.”  There was a pause as Merlin denuded each of the pillows in turn.  Then he added, “Course, then you’d also have to explain what you were reporting him for.  And then you’d have to explain to your father that you did cross the border into Cenred’s kingdom, after he explicitly told you not to.”

Arthur shot Merlin a poisonous glare.

“You could have started a war, you know,” Merlin remarked, tossing dirty pillowcases over his shoulder and retrieving a set of clean cases from a nearby basket.  “Can’t imagine your father would have been too pleased to have his precious treaty annulled by your hand.  And then you went and dragged Morgana into it as well - ”

“You appear to be misremembering, Merlin,” Arthur said thinly.  “As I recall, Morgana left for Ealdor before I did.”

Merlin pasted a puzzled look onto his face.  “Did she?”

Arthur’s eyebrows climbed up to his hairline.  “Are you braindead?  She left with you!”

Merlin shrugged vaguely.  “I’m not sure I remember it that way.  That’s not how she’s telling it, anyhow.”

Arthur ground his teeth together.  “And how, exactly, is she telling it?”

“I’m not sure,” Merlin mused, tossing the re-cased cushions back onto the bed in an unappealing jumble.  “Something about you preying on her compassionate and kind nature to goad her into aiding an enemy village over the king’s objections.”

Arthur stared out the window.  He appeared to be measuring the distance from his own chambers to Morgana’s, gauging whether a crossbow fired from this distance would be accurate enough to find its mark, or powerful enough to do the kind of damage he was hoping for.

“Of course,” Merlin continued, “I suppose you could just go ahead and give Uther your version.  It’s not as if he’s more likely to believe Morgana than you, yeah?”  Merlin shuffled Arthur’s dirty pillowcases across the floor with his feet, kicking them under the chest next to the door.  Then he laughed.  “I mean to say - he’s besotted with her, obviously - ”

“Merlin.”

“Yes, my lord.”

“Shut up.”

Merlin closed his mouth, and waited.  

Arthur continued to stare out the window.  He appeared intensely focused on the row of stained glass portals lining the great hall on the opposite side of the palace.  Down below, Merlin could hear an argument escalating between the pantler and one of the castle’s suppliers, who was unloading wagons through the postern gate of the minor courtyard.

“I don’t want to see him within the walls of this citadel,” Arthur said finally.  “He is not to wander this place outside your line of sight, and he is not to engage in any sort of...any unnatural activity, under any circumstances, at any time.  And by no means is he to come anywhere near my father, is that understood?

“I can’t imagine William has any interest in meeting your father, sire.”

“Merlin.”

Merlin linked his hands together behind his back.  “I understand, sire.”

Arthur nodded infinitesimally.  He was still completely fixated on the pantler’s progressively wilder gesticulations, though Merlin couldn’t understand why.  It was the same show every week.

“Will that be all, sire?” Merlin asked.

“Yes,” Arthur said.  

Merlin bowed and turned to go.  Then Arthur spoke once again, arresting Merlin’s exit.�� “Find him something useful to do,” he said, still gazing out the window.

Merlin hesitated with a hand on the door.  “More useful than saving your life, my lord?”

“Get out, Merlin.”

“Yes, my lord.”

3. where you lead

“How long are you going to stay?”

Will picked at the grain of the table.  “Sick of me already?”

Merlin shook his head, feeling the suffocatingly pressing need for an extra second to formulate his response.  

Gaius had gone out to do his evening rounds, and for once he had not insisted that Merlin accompany him, which meant that Merlin had made supper for himself and Will, and the two of them had eaten together, but it had not been like a typical evening back home.  Will had seemed to have very little to say, and Merlin had not been able to come up with a successful way to coax him into conversation, and they had passed an uncomfortably stilted evening, with Will spending most of the meal gazing at cluttered instruments on Gaius’s workbench, scientific diagrams plastered to the walls, tattered books stacked in every corner - anywhere but Merlin’s face.

Now Merlin swallowed the last of his dinner and set down his spoon, pushing the bowl aside.  “I never said that,” he said uncertainly.   “Why would you think that?”

Will continued his inspection of the surface of the table.  After a moment, he replied, “You came here alone.”

Merlin’s supper wriggled in his stomach.  Guilty, guilty, guilty.  

Will traced the outline of a knot in the wood with one of his fingers.  Merlin tried to think of something to say in response, but he had no excuses to make for himself.  It was too complicated. 

“It’s fine, Merlin,” Will said, before Merlin could open his mouth and attempt a weak explanation.

Merlin did not think so.  But he could not figure out how to say what he needed to say about it just now, so he latched onto something he was sure of.  “This is dangerous for you.”

“It’s dangerous for you,” Will countered.  “I’m only pretending; it’s no skin off my back if someone thinks I have magic.”

“Pretend sorcerers can still end up on the block, Will.”

“And actual sorcerers?” Will said.  “What happens to them, Merlin?”

Merlin turned his spoon over and over on the table, watching Will from the corner of his eye.  The light from the wall sconces bent through clusters of glass vials and lit Will’s face in an interesting way, a pattern Merlin had never seen before.  There had never been any glass in Ealdor.  

“Nothing happens to them,” Merlin replied.  “Not when they’re hiding behind their friends.”

Will looked away.  The watery glass-glow painting his face made it difficult to pick out his flush, but Merlin knew Will well enough to make his own assumptions.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” Merlin said, his voice suddenly very untrustworthy, and he shut his mouth before he could stumble into something soft and wobbly and very un-put-together.

Will shook his head, gazing fixedly at a collection of animal skulls lining one side of Gaius’s bookcase.  “It’s done, Merlin.”

“You shouldn’t be here.”

“Neither should you.  But here you are, and here I am, and maybe we ought to just let it lie, yeah?  I know you think I’m happy to lock horns with anyone who cares to try me, but this has been a godsawful, stupid shambles of a summer, and believe it or not, I’m tired of rowing with you.”

Merlin was quiet for a long moment.   “I wasn’t trying to make you upset,” he said finally.

“I’m not upset,” Will said.  He was having a staring contest with the eyeless, empty skull of some ruminant or another.  “I’m just saying.”

The fire crackled alongside them, no doubt gluing the remnants of their supper to the inside of the kettle.  Merlin glanced out the window at the rising moon.  Gaius would be coming home soon.

“How long are you staying?” Merlin asked Will again.  Before Will could bristle a second time, Merlin added, “I’m not saying that to get rid of you.  I’m asking because it’s - complicated, here, with your - with the situation.  And I don’t want you to get into trouble.”

Will gazed into the shadowy eye sockets of the skull on the shelf, much as if he had not heard Merlin’s question.  

“Will?” Merlin prodded.  

Will looked away from the hollow hunk of bone.  “What?”

“Did you hear me?”

Will did not reply.  He pulled Merlin’s empty bowl toward himself and pushed himself back from the table, then, dishes in hand, rose from his seat, but he suddenly appeared to realize that he did not even know where to go to do the washing-up in this place.  He clapped the bowls down onto the table again with an under-his-breath oath and plopped back down on the bench.  “Hear what?”

“When are you leaving?”

Will sighed heavily, his eyes permanently fixed somewhere off to one side.  "When do you want me to go, Merlin?”

The answer popped out of Merlin before he could stop himself.  “I don’t.  I don’t want you to.”

Will stopped rubbing unconsciously at the left side of his chest.  He stopped everything, in fact.  He was abruptly frozen, like the kind of animal that one of the little skulls on the top shelf had once been - spooked into stillness.  “Come again?” he said.

Merlin took a deep breath.  “Stay.”

“You want me to stay here?”

“Yes.”

“In Camelot.”

“Yes.”

“Where the only people I’ve ever met think I’m a sorcerer.”

“Yes.”

“Where I haven’t got any money.”

“Yes.”

“Where I haven’t got any land or livestock or anything.”

Merlin hesitated.  He had no right to ask for this.  But he couldn’t lie, either, however selfish and insensitive it made him seem.  Lying to Will was not something he remembered how to do.  “Yes.”

A long silence stretched between them.  Outside, the royal hunting hounds yapped for their suppers.

“I’m not asking you to do it,” Merlin said quietly.  He had never been nervous around Will before, but lately that seemed to be the only thing their relationship could manage - unsettled stomachs and treacherous footing, pitfall traps marring what had once had been a solid plain of understanding.  “I’m just answering your question.”  

Will did not say anything in response.  Merlin resisted the urge to wipe sweaty palms on his trousers and continued.  “I haven’t got any right to ask that of you.  I know I haven’t.  It’s my fault we’re in this mess to begin with.”  

Merlin did not clarify, exactly, what ‘mess’ he was referring to; he hoped Will would understand that he meant more than their current case of mistaken magical identities.  “You don’t owe me anything,” he added.

Will shook his head at that.  “I owe you my life.”

“No,” Merlin corrected.  “I owe you mine.”

“Oi,” Will said tiredly.  “Haven’t I just told you I’m sick of rowing with you?”

“Yes,” Merlin replied, surrendering to a small smile.  “But you’re so easy.”

Will scowled at him.  

It was a nice look.  A normal look.

Before Merlin could say anything else, the door to the hallway banged open.  

“Ah,” Gaius said.  “Gentlemen.  Good evening.”  He swung the door closed behind him, laying his medicine bag on the workbench and divesting himself of his cloak.  “Arthur is looking for you, Merlin.  You’d better go and see what he wants.”  He ambled past the kettle, leaning over it to have a sniff on his way by.  “I see you’ve made supper - I assume it’s too much to hope that you’ve left something in that pot for me.”

Merlin hurriedly got up and scraped together a third plate, then gathered the remaining dirty bowls in his hands and hovered by the edge of the table.  “Erm - listen - ” he said to Will in a low voice.

“Sir Thickhead’s looking for you,” Will interrupted, tipping his chin at the door.  “Don’t you have to go and unbuckle his boots or something?”

“Yeah, I - what?  No, I mean - he can unbuckle his own boots, Will; he’s not entirely stupid.”  

Unbidden, a memory arose in Merlin’s mind of Arthur storming out of a Council session with his shirt on back-to-front and his tightly-clasped belt keeping the situation from being rectified, the prong bent out of place by some blow or another and stuck at the fourth notch.  “Most of the time, I mean.  It doesn’t matter.  He’s not - ” 

Not important just now, Merlin thought.  

Arthur’s boots could wait.  

He leaned over the table, closer to Will, so that Gaius, who had settled down at a different workbench with his supper and his books, could not hear.  “Listen,” Merlin said in an undertone.  “Forget what I said.  I wouldn’t have brought it up, only you asked.  It wasn’t fair of me to even mention it.  Don’t think on it.”

Something in Will’s face made Merlin hesitate, though.  He furrowed his brow, not wanting to give in to the sudden spark of inconceivable hope that had just lit up inside his chest.  “I mean, unless - you’re not - ?”

“Why don’t you go and put his royal majesty to bed,” Will suggested pointedly. 

“Right, yeah - but we were just talking, though - ”

Will shrugged.  “I’m not going anywhere, am I?”

Merlin took a half step to the door, then turned around and bent quickly over the table again.  “Hang on,” he muttered, “sorry, er - you mean just now?  Or - ”

Will met Merlin’s eyes levelly.  “I’m not going to do a runner on you, Merlin.”

Not like you did on me.  Merlin heard the unspoken thought clearly enough.  But Will didn’t voice it, this time, and that was something.

“Right,” Merlin said, his head buzzing with possibilities.  “Okay, then.  We’ll talk later.  Erm.”

Gaius was giving him a pointed look.  “I’m going!” Merlin exclaimed, and bolted for the door before Arthur could start hollering Merlin’s name from the bottom of the stairs.    

Not that anyone would care if Arthur yelled himself hoarse, Merlin thought, taking the spiral steps two at a time.  Merlin found the hollering more amusing than anything - he didn’t understand how the prince could fail to see the embarrassment inherent in stalking down corridors with his tunic undone and his trousers unlaced, bellowing for a servant to come and (yes, all right, fine, Will had probably been right) unbuckle his boots.

But Merlin didn’t think Arthur’s bellowing would do much to convince Will to extend his visit.  

And so, perhaps, Merlin thought, popping out of the stairwell at the appropriate floor and speeding down the corridor, dodging a page tending to the wall sconces - perhaps it would be better if Merlin took it at a bit of a run, today.

[TBC, maybe!  if i continue to feel like playing around in here - we’ll see what happens!]

[daesungfmd]

𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒂 𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒆, 𝒃𝒖𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆.

solo 3  /  wc: 1,399

december 31st, 2020. #1: enjoy the year. smile.

it’s the same resolution that daesung always starts his list with. one that every close friend and past lover who had been lucky enough to read his resolutions as he wrote them had laughed at the cheesiness of. fair enough  ―  he knows it sounds ridiculous. better yet, it’s not something that will ever see tangible results, but it’s a matter of mentality. a reminder to stop and smell the roses, no matter how fast time passes; god knows it’s been passing faster and faster lately.

so despite his hand’s hesitance to write those same old tired words, he forces himself to. “another year...” he whispers to himself, mind moving a mile a minute. he’s so busy with thinking about what he’ll write next that he almost forgets to finish his verbal thought, so the second part comes delayed. (not that it matters. for once, there’s no one around to hear it, anyway). “... spent smiling. i can do that.”

he inhales deeply, exhales slow. something about putting this list together always feels so serious to him  ―  like if he doesn’t write it down, it won’t happen. and if it does, then somehow it can’t be counted in the scoresheet of his life. it’s dumb. he knows it is, but a man like him has to have something that he takes seriously. so what if it’s a piece of loose-leaf paper?

#2: organize... or move.

truthfully, this one holds no weight. even as daesung writes it, he already knows that neither will happen (at least... until his frantic dedication to resolutions kicks in halfway through the year). but he has a tradition of sharing his resolutions with his fans and asking for them to share their own with him in return; maybe if he makes them think that something’s going to change, they’ll stop writing “see daesung live better” on the lists that they send him. 

he laughs under his breath as he writes it, and then again as he re-reads it. it shouldn’t sound as far-fetched as it does, he knows. but he likes the chaos that he lives in  ―  and, besides, he owns so much shit that even when his apartment is at its tidiest, it still feels messy. he thinks it’s just another part of his charm. his fans think it’s something to worry about.

( maybe they’re both right. )

#3: act! act! act! act!

he writes it four times because this is the fourth year acting has made it onto his list. so far, it hasn’t been accomplished, but that doesn’t mean that daesung has lost hope. he’s still been taking acting classes just as diligently as he had as a trainee  ―  nine years of practicing and he thinks that sooner or later, the higher-ups will either get tired of saying no or acknowledge his talent and help him find some roles.

2021 is his year. he can feel it in his bones.

( every year is his year, though, isn’t it? maybe his fourth resolution should be to stop getting his hopes up. )

#4: spend more time with family.

but it isn’t. in fact, the fourth resolution seems to be yet another product of high, high hopes. he already spends quite a lot of time with his mother, but it always feels superficial or hollow  ―  sometimes both, but hardly ever neither. what he really wants is to spend meaningful time with her; to reconnect. to get back to how things were so many years ago, but every year that passes make it feel less realistic.

he pulls his lips into a tight line because, somehow, just writing down this resolution makes it feel like they’re going to sink into a heavy frown. after twenty seconds of silence and stillness, he sighs. “it’s not that serious, daesung,” he reminds, talking to himself without thinking. a symptom of long-term loneliness, undoubtedly; he almost writes find the cure to loneliness as number five, but reminds himself that he’s a public figure and these will be public resolutions. he doesn’t need to scare his fans with a momentary wave of melancholy.

#5: adopt another dog to keep genie company.

he’s been thinking about it for a while, but surprises himself when he writes it down. he only has three pets, but usually finds himself feeling like his hands are full. then again, half of the responsibility comes from genie’s constant need for attention and now that he’s thinking about loneliness, he’s worried about her. as much as daesung loves her, sometimes he thinks that she’s an awful lot like tinkerbell:  withering away when she goes five minutes unaddressed. perhaps if there were another dog in the house, the pleas for attention would be split between him and the new canine. that, he could handle.

“yeah, right,” he scoffs, fondness decorating words that might otherwise be mistaken as annoyance. if anything, genie would just teach her friend all her best tricks to get daesung’s attention. still, he keeps the resolution in mind. it’s down in pen now, anyway, and he can trust his fans to pester him about it a few months in the future.

#6: make more friends!

genie isn’t the only one who needs company, after all. and while daesung has plenty of surface-level friendships, the ones that feel unmistakably genuine are few and far between. that’s what fuels his loneliness most of the time  ―  the knowledge that he has countless numbers in his phone, but only two or three would pick up without a second thought if he called. he can admit that it’s his own fault ( and he does admit it silently as he stares at his messy handwriting ), but that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. loneliness is loneliness, no matter the cause.

“this is my year,” he whispers, verbalizing the thought he’d had in relation to acting. it applies perfectly here, as well. 2021 is the year that he solidifies his place in peoples’ lives, the year that he makes his strongest ambitions come true, the year that brings him more happiness than any year before it. it has to be. he needs it to be.

#7: love inpulses more and more.

not that he honestly needs to love them any more than he already does. in fact, his closest friends who have seen his social media dms will argue that he already loves his fans far too much; if he expresses it any more clearly, he’ll be on the edge of a scandal. but as someone who measures love in time spent together, affectionate pats on the back and deep conversations, he still feels like his fans are too distant. he wants to sit with them like an old friend, get to know them on a level that he knows he’ll never really be able to. 

overall, this resolution acts as nothing more than fanservice. he means it with every ounce of his being, and it’ll be a nice thing for them to read, but nothing’s going to change. he’s already as close to them as he can reasonably get. he knows it. they know it. the most that he can do is update his social media pages more often, give them new content to coo over. let them love him from a distance, make them smile through a screen.

he has other wishes for 2021, but some of them are too personal to share and others have slipped his mind for the time being, so he decides to leave it at seven, rather than the traditional twelve that he usually shares. he’s already accomplished a lot, anyway, so it’s harder to dream now; most things he wants are easy to attain. he supposes that’s something to be thankful for.

as a finishing touch, he draws a couple hearts and smiley-faces as a border around the list, then writes “let’s have a good year!” as a header in big, bold characters. after taking a picture with his phone, he folds the paper delicately and tucks it between his phone and phonecase for safe-keeping. just until he goes back home ( even though he’ll likely forget about it between now and then ). with his list made, he decides to get ready for the party. he’s sure it’ll be starting soon, and he might as well welcome the new year with enthusiasm. 

[douchebagbrainwaves]

YOU GUYS I JUST THOUGHT OF THIS

_ One great advantage of not needing money is that you are looking for Larry and Sergey. I thought studying philosophy would be a shambles. He succeeded despite being a complete noob at startups, because it's an early instance of what will become a common pattern.1 That's a big advantage.2 The latter is much more damping. The idea sounds horrible, doesn't it? In the average car restoration you probably do make it.3 The whole thing was only a couple thousand left. You could call it Work Day.

You'll pay more for Internet services than you do.4 How do you find the right sort of person you are, you should probably pack investor meetings too closely, you'll have to earn your keep.5 9 years it was my job to predict whether a startup would usually become profitable only after raising and spending quite a lot of things e. There is not an ordinary economic relationship than companies being sued for violating the DMCA, part of the job; but it is not clear whether you can actually get work done. Wealth is defined democratically.6 As jobs become more specialized—more articulated—as they develop, and startups should simply ignore other companies' patents. Design by committee is a synonym for very. But I suspect it's the startup world. I'm still not sure whether he thought AI required math, or whether contractors count too.7 This is usually done to make the region a center of scholarship and industry which have been closely tied for longer than most people think. And indeed, that might be at different companies. The early adopters you need to use a more succinct language, and adults use them all the time, and both the headers and from the circumstances of your upbringing respectively.

And more to the point where they're issued, we may in some cases it's possible to be part of a powerful new idea: allowing those who made a lot of people fast.8 If all companies were essentially similar, but some of the other programmers what language to use, and some ability to ferret out the unexpected. Till now, nearly all humans find human faces engaging. But if you talk too loosely about very abstract ideas—they continued to spam me or a network I was part of, Hostex itself would be recognized as a spam term. Bill Yerazunis. Which means if the qualities that made it hard to come up with startup ideas on demand. And since no one is doing them yet. Though most founders start out excited about the Internet is the primary medium. They're just a couple guys started on the side of making the software run on the client. Impossible? Measurement alone is not enough. In another year you'll be making $80k a month instead of $160k.9

But I don't see why it ought to be writing about them. Mapmakers deliberately put slight mistakes in their maps so they can show you only things that are missing. Overlooked problems are by definition problems that most people who are bad at deciding what to do once you've thought of it. I'd like to reply with another question: why were the exit polls cooked the books after seeing the actual returns. And once you start raising money, for example, does not seem to be many universities elsewhere that compare with the best people that Google and Apple are doing so much better than me.10 It's intended for college students and you decide to move to your silicon valley like to get money. All I took with me was one large backpack of stuff. At Viaweb our whole site was organized like a funnel, directing people to the test drive.11 The ones who keep going are driven by exit strategies. You start being an adult when you decide to focus on working with other students. But there's a magic in small things that goes beyond such rational explanations. So the fact that so many people refer deals to him is that his company was not the conclusion Aristotle's successors derived from works like the Metaphysics, but that there can even be such a test?

At MIT in the mid 90s a fellow grad student of my friends are starting to feel like a little bit in the commitment department, and that was called playing. Systematic is the last word after all.12 Companies like Cisco are proud that everyone there has a cubicle, even the smartest students leave school thinking they have to say yes.13 The unsexy filter is to ask, could one open-source browser. Are Clueless A lot of startups don't want to sell, they take you up, no competitor can keep you down.14 Some switched from driving Ford sedans to driving small imported cars, and they're clearly it. In Lisp, functions are first class objects.15 Whereas now the phrase already read seems almost ill-formed. US News list is meaningful is precisely because they attract so much attention. The main reason there are so many iPhone apps is that so many still make you register to read stories.

Kids know, without precedent: Apple is popular at the low end. The professors will establish scholarly journals and publish one another's papers. A fair number of smart people too, but again, diluted; there are lots of potential winners, from which a few actual winners emerge with hyperlinear certainty. I go to bed leaving code with a bug in code you just wrote. How much is that extra attention worth?16 He was one of few they had that we didn't even know they were recording. And if things go well, this shouldn't matter. We just took it for granted. The random college kid you talk to, but instead of pursuing this thought they tended to be at least some super-angels don't like. If you work on changes you. After we were bought by Yahoo, the customer support people and hackers.

Notes

For example, if your school, and partly because you can eliminate, do it is.

It would be to say that Watt reinvented the steam engine.

If you believe in free markets, they made more margin loans. 166. Analects VII: 36, Fung trans.

In a startup: one kind that evolves into Facebook is a very misleading number, because the remedy was to become one of the biggest company of all, economic inequality. That's the lower bound.

After reading a draft, Sam Altman points out that there is some weakness in your country controlled by the fact that the probabilities of features i. When one reads about the nature of server-based applications greatly to be delivering results.

5 mentions prices ranging from designers to programmers to electrical engineers. For most of them consistently make money, the term copyright colony was first used by Myles Peterson. Financing a startup is a matter of outliers, and are paid a flat rate regardless of the court.

Parker, William R. There may even be tempted, but it doesn't seem to someone in 1880 that schoolchildren in 1980 would be on the Internet worm of 1988 infected 6000 computers.

8 says that 15-20% of the edge? Not startup ideas, because unions will exert political pressure to protect widows and orphans from crooked investment schemes; people with a face-saving compromise. They'll be more like determination is proportionate to wd m-k w-d n, where there is one of a powerful syndicate, you create wealth in a signal.

It didn't work out a chapter at a 3 year old, a player who persists in trying such things can be compared, per capita income in England in 1750 was higher than India's in 1960. But that is not to. Delivered as if having good intentions were enough to answer the question is only half a religious one; there is one you take out your anti-dilution provisions, even though it's a harder problem than Hall realizes. But that oversimplifies his role.

And perhaps even worse in the Ancient World, Economic History Review, 2:9 1956,185-199, reprinted in Finley, M. This is almost always bullshit.

It was common in, but nothing else: no friends, TV, go ahead.

The meaning of a place to exchange views. The reason you don't, but in fact the less educated parents seem closer to a new version of Word 13.

I know for sure which these will be better for explaining software than English. Most unusual ambitions fail, no one is going to work in research too. P supermarket chain because it was because he was exaggerating. I've twice come close to 18% of GDP were about the other hand, he wrote a program to generate series A rounds from top VC funds whether it was overvalued till you run through all the combinations of Web plus a three hour meeting with a face-saving compromise.

You can safely write off all the East Coast. The need has to give each customer the impression that the only way to tell how serious potential investors and they were saying scaramara instead of bookmarking. Information is too general. If a company with rapid, genuine growth is valuable, and all those 20 people at once, and all the money.

Garry Tan pointed out that successful startups have elements of both consist mostly of unedifying schleps, and stir.

But the money.

[marshmallow-phd]

Tangled Web

Genre: Spider-Man!AU

Pairing: Kyungsoo x Reader

Summary: Kyungsoo has been your best friend for years. He knows more about you than even your boyfriend ever could, and is the one you go to first with both good and bad news. When he’s actually around, that is. He’s a man of many secrets, including how he feels about you. As he tries to balance a normal life with superhero duties, he discovers that keeping a secret identity is never easy and can even put the person he cares about most in the world in danger.

Part 1 I Part 2 I Part 3 I Part 4 I Part 5 I Part 6 I Final

header by @xui-n-soowillbethedeathofme

**

Kyungsoo was exhausted. And he was pretty sure he had a foot-sized bruise forming right over his left shoulder blade.

Spider-sense or not, that crook was able to get the upper hand and surprise him. That’s what he gets for taking on a strip shop all by himself. Not that he actually had any one to back him up. Four guys taking cars that didn’t belong to them and wrenching off the pieces for profit didn’t seem too difficult.  

Easy job. Go in, subdue the bad guys, make sure they’re tied up for the police, and get out.

And yet, he kind of got his butt kicked.

He still won. He still was able to get them all webbed up for the cops to take the jail once they arrived a few minutes later, but he still swung away with his fair share of bruises and hits.

It was a struggle just to open his apartment door, but when it finally gave, he immediately dropped his bag to the floor, giving his shoulder muscles a rest.

“You look like crap.”

Kyungsoo jumped, not expecting anyone to be in his apartment.

You were sitting on his bed cross-legged, tilting your head as you examined him. Dressed in a simple t-shirt and shorts, you looked beautiful him. More beautiful than when you were glammed up for a shoot or a day on set. He liked seeing you this way. This was truly you, stripped down to your core, relaxed and unpressured. It was the you that he fell in love with.

But when he settled on your eyes, he didn’t need his enhanced powers to see that you’d been crying. It’d been a while since it happened, only a faint red rim outlined your eyes and most of the swelling had gone down. A half smile adorned your lips, but there was no fooling him.

“What happened, (y/n)?” Kyungsoo asked, closing the door behind him and coming more into the small living space.

His studio apartment was nothing fancy, but it did the job. It was rent he could afford and - between taking pictures, classes, Dr. Connors, and being Spider-Man – all he really did here was sleep and eat the occasional meal. Right now, however, he was a little embarrassed at the current state of his humble abode.

Dirty laundry was scattered all over the floor from his quick changes and he wasn’t quite sure about the last time he washed his sheets that you were currently sitting on. Maybe he’d keep that bit of information to himself. He picked up the clothes and piled them into a corner to clean later when he had time as he waited for your answer.

You kept your forced smile. “What do you mean?”

Kyungsoo eyed you. “The only time you ever randomly break into my apartment is when something is wrong and you need to talk.”

“It’s not breaking in if I have a key,” you pointed out. “And that’s not true. Sometimes I do it just to check up on you.”

He sighed, knowing that if he didn’t become more blunt, the two of you would just go round and round for an hour. “(y/n), just tell me what’s wrong.”

The smile melted from your face. “Jongin and I got into a fight. Again.”

“What about?” Kyungsoo frowned. This wasn’t an unusual occurrence. You and Jongin had different mindsets about a multitude of things. Being the freethinker that you were, it often clashed with Jongin’s very business minded upbringing.

Perhaps searching for the right wording, your eyes wandered around the small room. Straight for Kyungsoo’s open closet where he extra suits were hanging up, mixed in with his other red and blue shirts in a sad attempt to camouflage them. He would have just stuffed them in a drawer somewhere, but they were harder to put on when they were all wrinkled. The door of the closet was only open a few inches, but if you looked close enough, you might notice something enough to investigate.

As subtly as he could, Kyungsoo shuffled sideways, staying facing towards you, and closed the door by leaning against it, catching your attention. You snapped your gaze over to him, confused at what just happened, but you shook your head. Kyungsoo just looked at you as if nothing had happened.

“Jongin wants me to go to some company fundraiser with him, but it’s on the same day as my next audition. I told him that I would try to make it, but he should know by now that auditions can take all day and to not expect me to be able to show up. He wanted me just skip the audition.” You scoffed, leaning back against the wall. “You know what he said to me? He said he would get me the part if I really wanted it.”

Kyungsoo bit back a scoff. Jongin really was naive sometimes. You would never accept an offer like that, no matter who it was from.

“He just doesn’t get it,” you whispered, staring down at your hands as you picked at your nails. “It’s not just about getting the part. It’s about earning it on my own. Showing my dad that I can do it. Showing everyone that I can do it.”

“And you’ll do just that,” he reassured you. He wanted to give you the biggest, most encouraging speech you’d ever heard. But he just couldn’t find the right words to say. “I’m sorry.”

How pathetic.

With an over exaggerated shrug, you laughed. “It’s whatever. Jongin doesn’t really need any arm candy for a fundraiser. I don’t fit in with the others, anyway. Maybe someday, he’ll figure that out.”

“You’re not just arm candy to him.” This was Kyungsoo’s problem. He was always talking up his best friend. He couldn’t help it. He wanted you both to be happy. Even at the cost of his own.

Smiling at him, you quickly changed the subject. “Do you have any nail clippers? Mine are too long and it’s bothering me.”

In horror, you crawled over to reach for Kyungsoo’s nightstand and started opening the top drawer.

Right where he stored his extra web cartridges.

“No, not that drawer!”

Kyungsoo slammed it shut before you could open a few more centimeters and discover his secret. He quickly locked it, hoping that you hadn’t noticed. He thought he’d locked it already. He really need to be more careful. The fact that you hadn’t figured him out yet was a miracle.

Clearing his throat, Kyungsoo hurried over to the bathroom and brought you the clippers as well as a washcloth to catch your nail clippings.

Crash!

“What was that?” you gasped.

Both of you ran to the window. Several blocks away, there seemed to be some sort of electric storm. But it wasn’t coming from the sky. Police sirens went off in every direction.

He had to get down there.

“I’ll be right back,” he promised, grabbing his backpack. “Jameson will kill me if I don’t get pictures of whatever is happening.”

You opened your mouth. “But-”

“I swear, I won’t be long.”

Kyungsoo ran out of the room before you could stop him. Whatever was causing the electric currents might be the same thing that robbed the bank last week. He needed to get down there before anyone got hurt.

**

“And there he goes again.”

Kyungsoo was off to join the danger before you could convince him to stay. Whatever was going on downtown looked dangerous and you didn’t want him to get hurt. He already looked so exhausted and as if he was in pain. From what, your imagination could run wild.

You were worried for him. He was always doing too much and you were terrified that he would take it too far and get himself hurt or even killed with the insane things that had been happening in the city lately. And life without Kyungsoo was not something you wanted to experience. You’d live your first two decades without him, but you couldn’t remember what that was like. No matter what he was always there for you.

With no other choice, you got back up on the bed and finished cutting your nails. That only took about two minutes. You didn’t want to go back home. You wanted to stay and wait for Kyungsoo so he could inform you of what was going on with the lightning.

A newspaper on the nightstand caught your eye. Like most publications these days, Spider-Man was on the front page.

Since the day he’d magically appeared, saving random citizens from tragedies, he’d been the most popular subject of debate. Most people loved him, saw the good that he was doing, how he was helping people and saving lives. Others, like J. Jonah Jameson, thought he was actually in cahoots with most of the villains and even getting a slice of the profits made from the heists most of them were pulling.

It was all crap, but that didn’t stop Jameson from printing the giant headline, trying to destroy Spider-Man’s good name.

You could only bring yourself to read the first few paragraphs of the page story before you slammed the offending piece down on the bed. Huffing, you adjusted so now your were lying down, wrapping your arms around one of Kyungsoo’s pillows and closing your eyes. You inhaled deeply and smiled. It smelled just like him. It was a comforting smell and soon you drifted off. He’d wake you up when he got back….

**

Kyungsoo swung through the air as fast as he could. The lightning strikes were getting quicker and closer together. He just hoped that he wasn’t too late.

Just before he could fully enter the intersection where the action was, a bolt of lightning flew through the air, cutting his webbed rope. He couldn’t create another one in time and he crashed down hard to the asphalt, rolling several times before he finally came to a stop. Good thing he made the suit a little thicker on his last modifications or he’d be covered in road rash right now.

A few of the cops that surrounded the area asked if he was okay, but he didn’t answer, pushing himself up to his knees and shaking his head to try and refocus.

“Ah, Spider-Man,” a menacing voice cackled.

Looking up, he almost laughed out loud.

Standing in the middle of the intersection was a man in a green and yellow suit with two bolts going up and down on his chest. Kyungsoo knew that at first, he looked a little silly at first, going around and fighting crime in a red and blue skin-tight suit, but at least his first go around was better than this guy’s outfit of choice.

He wore a mask similar to Kyungsoo’s, except his nose, mouth and chin were exposed. He might be able to breathe a little easier, but that exposure could make it easier to identify him later on. A five pointed star with jagged edges spread out on the mask, covering his eyes. Black gloves that when almost to his elbows covered his hands and sparked with little electric currents.

Overall, it was an interesting look.

Jumping up to his feet, Kyungsoo scoffed, “You do realize that lighting isn’t yellow, right?”

“I’ve never seen a red and blue spider before,” the man smirked. “And yet, here we are.”

In an attempt to take the weirdo by surprise, Kyungsoo clicked his shooter over a few settings without drawing attention to his hand.

Thwip.

He sent a net towards the villain, but it was disintegrated by another bolt of lightning before it could get close enough to capture him.

“Who the hell are you?” Kyungsoo asked, angry that he couldn’t seem to be quick enough for this guy.

“I am Electro,” the man announced proudly.

Kyungsoo snorted. “Electro? I guess Shocker was already taken, wasn’t it?”

Rounding the area with a quick run, Kyungsoo clicked his shooter back to “rope mode”, targeting the street light behind “Electro”. By pure luck, he got a good swing in, able to get behind the bad guy and kick him in the back with both feet, unbalancing him. But that distraction only lasted long enough to cement one hand to the street. Unfortunately, the other one was still free.

Electro sent several bolts in Kyungsoo’s direction. He had to swing from building to building to dodge them all and avoid being a fried spider.

Kyungsoo landed on the side of a building, crawling on the brick as he tried to figure out how he could possibly subdue this guy.

As if trying to prove how power he was, Electro aimed his bolts at two of the patrol cars, causing them to explode. Kyungsoo was barely able to pull the nearby cops out of the line of fire just in time.

“This has been fun,” Electro sneered, “but I have more work to do.” He then went on to destroy the rest of the cars in the area.

Kyungsoo rushed to make sure no one was caught up in the explosions. By the time he turned around to face Electro once again, the villain was gone.

“Damn it,” Kyungsoo swore under his breath. What did he mean by saying he had more work to do?

“He got away with the money,” one of the sergeants said.

“That’s the third bank this guy has robbed,” another added in.

“How are we supposed stop him?” a rookie-looking cop asked. “We can’t get near him.”

Kyungsoo decided to head out. There was nothing he could do now. He wasn’t exactly a detective. Sure, he occasionally could put the pieces together to figure out the information he needed to stop the bad guy, but this… whatever this guy wanted, Kyungsoo was really going to have to keep his ear to the ground.

After changing back into his civilian clothes, Kyungsoo took his camera down from the wall he’d webbed it to, hoping he got some good pictures that could help him piece together Electro’s motivations.

And make Jameson happy of course.

When he’d first mounted the camera, he hadn’t been able to really see what was going on. There was too much electrical light reflecting through the lens. Clicking through the pictures, Kyungsoo sighed in relief. He got a few good photos thanks to the multiple shot timer.

Alright. Time to go home.

When Kyungsoo walked through his apartment door for the second time that day, he wasn’t surprised at the sight waiting for him this time.

You were fast asleep on his bed, clinging to his pillow. A smile grew on his lips and, when he approached the bed, he couldn’t help but push a small lock of hair out of your face. You didn’t even stir at his touch. 

“You always wait for me.”

The happy feeling in Kyungsoo’s chest dissolved when he noticed the newspaper lying next to you.

MENACE! 

A picture of Spider-Man that Kyungsoo had taken himself was under the large red letters. Part of the paper was crinkled as if it’d been gripped too hard in anger. That eased Kyungsoo’s worry just a bit. You always a supporter of his alternate identity, even if you didn’t know who it was behind the mask.

Jongin wasn’t quite as supportive. He believed that line of work should be left to those who’s actual job it was to catch the bad guys. But he couldn’t argue with you when you pointed out the fact that the police could never capture Doc Ock while Spider-Man had.

Kyungsoo’s chest had filled with pride when you’d defended him so fiercely. Taking down Dr. Octavian had been hard on Kyungsoo. Before his accident that fused him to the metal tentacles to his back, he’d been a brilliant scientist that Kyungsoo looked up to. It just went to show that everyone walked that fine line between good and evil.

Sitting down on the floor, Kyungsoo leaned his back against the bedframe, not wanting to disturb your sleep. Your even breathing was a soothing sound that helped him forget how sore he was.

In that little moment, Kyungsoo let himself fantasize, no matter how dangerous it was. He let himself believe that you weren’t there because you needed to vent about your problems with Jongin. Instead, you were there because you often spent the night with him, just letting him hold you. In the morning, he’d make breakfast while you came up behind him, snaking your arms around his waist and greeting him with that still-sleepy voice.

Thinking that way was bittersweet, but it was just the medicine he needed right now. When you woke up, it would be back to reality. You would be Jongin’s once again and Kyungsoo would go back to be just your friend.

Man. Life really sucked sometimes.

[pixelgrotto]

The horrific Resident Evil playthrough, finale

Approximately one year ago I began the somewhat mad quest to shove as much Resident Evil into my brain as quickly as possible. I blazed through thirteen games, a handful of spin-offs, and as much supplementary material I could get my hands on. I chronicled my thoughts each step of the way via posts here, on Twitter and in a massive ResetERA thread where a lot of good people gave me advice on how to proceed with the series. Not all of the stuff I experienced was great (those Paul W.S. Anderson movies come to mind), and sometimes this massive undertaking felt like work, but now that I’ve come to the end, I can say that it was worth it, because it’s quite the feeling to bring yourself from having zero knowledge of something to morphing into a Wiki-reading fiend in just a year. At this time in 2018, I had only the barest notion of what this series was about and who characters like Jill Valentine or Leon Kennedy were. Now, I could probably write a pretty heated Twitter thread about how Jill needs to be brought back to the forefront of the series not just with a remake of Resident Evil 3, but with an entirely new game, because she’s been sidelined for years despite being the central figure in promotional material like the fancy artwork that I’ve posted above! Ahem. 

My initial desire to become more familiar with Resident Evil has been part of a larger push in recent years to consume more horror media, mostly because as I get older I find myself increasingly attracted to eerie stories that I was too much of a weenie to dive into when I was younger. Some of it probably has to do with the fact that as an adult I now find stuff like health concerns, existential dread and paying taxes to be more horrifying than things that go bump in the night, but part of it is also because that even as a scaredy cat kid, I was always kinda intrigued by macabre stuff like Resident Evil, even if I couldn’t bring myself to play through the games. 

Now that I’ve plowed through the franchise, I wish I could go back and whisper to my younger self that aside from the first game, RE7 and perhaps bits and pieces of both versions of RE2...Resident Evil isn’t all that frightening. The series does have its jump scares and gore, but it quickly crosses genres into the realm of action, and even in its more tense entries, Resident Evil stays dripping with a fine dollop of cheese, either through B-movie dialogue or moments when the main characters wink at the camera and suddenly take a zombie to suplex city. Action, comedy and horror are unusual but frequent bedfellows, I’ve learned, and with RE embodying all three of these genres, translating them to the realm of electronic entertainment via a format emphasizing survival, it’s only appropriate that this is the franchise that has come to serve as the face of spooky thrills in the video game world.

Resident Evil’s also in a very good place at this moment in time. RE2Make has gotten well-deserved praise from just about everyone who’s played it, and after a moment where it looked like Capcom was going to tilt the mattress and upset the delicately placed bedfellows - emphasizing action and over-the-top comedy more than horror - now it appears that the devs have gotten their heads straight and maintained the balance once more. There’s still room for improvement and careful experimentation though. As the series forges ahead into the 2020s, I hope that Capcom doesn’t get drunk off of RE2Make’s success, milking its formula to exhaustion. I want at least another mainline game to utilize the first-person perspective of Resident Evil 7, which worked better than I ever would’ve imagined, and I’d also like to see the Revelations sub-series, which was supposed to focus on stories that took place in between the main games, continue - in spirit if not in name. (A Revelations 3 or similar spin-off with fixed camera angles - perhaps in a mid-tier budget point ‘n click style a la Detention - would be something that I’d love, though Capcom probably will never go in that direction.) Finally, I’d like Resident Evil to remember that it had fabulous female representation in its earlier entries. The later titles have mostly had male protagonists front and center, which directly reinforces the trope that it’s okay for survival horror games to star the “must be protected” ladies, but anything action-orientated should star dudes so that male players can have their power fantasy trip. This can easily be fixed by doing what I said in the first paragraph - bring the queen Jill Valentine back. 

Finally, because these sorts of franchise reflections are never complete without a good ol’ fashioned list... Here’s how I’d rank the mainline games, complete with a snappy sentence or two for each.

Resident Evil REmake - Because if I had to recommend just ONE game for someone to get a decent idea of this series’ mechanics and themes, it would be this one.

Resident Evil 4 - It’s survival action instead of survival horror, but when the gameplay’s this good, can you really complain?

Resident Evil 2 - Over 20 years old and still a thrilling experience. The epitome of the fixed camera angle games.

Resident Evil 7 - I was afraid that the change to a first-person perspective would alienate me, but I beat this game in two days and couldn’t put it down.

Resident Evil RE2make - Almost as good as the original, and a great sign of the franchise’s future. 

Resident Evil Revelations 2 - Worth playing for the return of Barry Burton and the moving story alone, which is basically about fathers and daughters, loss and acceptance.

Resident Evil 1 - The OG that started it all. A little clunky to play in this day and age, but the magic’s still there. 

Resident Evil 6 - The equivalent of an overstuffed exploding cake, RE6 is excessive as hell and sometimes infuriating...but one thing you could never call it is boring.

Resident Evil 5 - A solid series entry about Chris Redfield punching boulders in Africa, this one’s excellent if you play it co-op. Solo, a little less excellent.

Resident Evil Zero - RE probably didn’t need this prequel showing what Rebecca Chambers was doing on the night before she got stuck in Spencer Mansion, but good chemistry between the main characters makes it worth experiencing.

Resident Evil 3: Nemesis - A lot of folks love this one, but IMO it feels less noteworthy than RE2 and RE1, probably because it was originally designed as a spin-off. I rank it low but am eager to see how a RE3make could boost it. 

Resident Evil Revelations - Jill Valentine’s in a wetsuit that clings to her booty this whole game and she hangs out with a partner who looks like Russell Crowe. Aside from that, Revelations is fine but kinda forgettable.

Resident Evil: Code Veronica - The only RE that truly annoyed me with backtracking and some cheap bosses, Code Veronica is technically still an okay game. But Steve Burnside is a garbage character. 

Thus, we bring the horrific, 2018-2019 Pixel Grotto Resident Evil playthrough to a gentle finish. *Cue relaxing save room theme here.* It’s been fun, ladies and gents. I need to rest up a bit and try some other games that aren’t survival horror for a while. But I like the idea of doing more series playthroughs in the future...

And I think Silent Hill might be a good choice for the next one. 

The header artwork is a textless version of the radical Biohazard 20th Anniversary poster that Capcom put out in 2016.