#might as well ask you a question

[devintrinidad]

15, 16, & 24 for the ask game ♡

Hi, Chloe! Thanks for the asks! :D

15. What’s your favorite season? 

I really like winter! The season is so beautiful and it's cold and everyone gets bundled up??? It's so nice! Love it! I'm also partial to how autumn slowly transitions into winter and how winter transitions into spring. Maybe it's because I haven't seen snow in years, but the icy frigidity is comforting.

16. Want any tattoos? What of? 

I know I talk a big game about phlebotomy, but I'm really allergic to pain. I don't like it. I'm fine with vaccines and blood draws, but only because it's necessary. Tattoos are pretty, but I don't think I would enjoy the process on myself personally. Plus, I would put so much time and effort in finding a tattoo that holds a lot of meaning to me, but isn't seen as tacky to others, that I'll eventually chicken out and not do it anyway.

Okay, the next one is kinda personal, so I'm putting it under a readmore:

24. When was the last time you cried? Why? 

At work.

Okay, full context and the story, here we go:

So, the last time was literally a week or so ago, on a Thursday. I mentioned before that I work with autistic children, but I don't think I mentioned that I don't really have a lot of experience with working with small kids. Yes, I do have a psychology degree, but I didn't think the company that hired me would take me on because I don't really have that much experience to back me up.

Anyway, I'm a behavior technician, which means that my job is to teach kids how to be more independent through discrete trial or incidental teaching. (It's a lot of technical jargon, but think of me as a teacher, but I allow my kids to roam and run free while I incorporate lessons into what they do).

So, on this particular Thursday, I'm with an afternoon session with one of my kids. He's really smart and he's adorable! He can write letters and even words! He's mostly nonverbal, but he'll let you know what he wants by gesturing and using what little vocabulary he has. (He also has a hyperfixation on farms/farm animals... you'll see how that pertains the story later).

That day, I was still getting supervision on my sessions, but sometimes, my boss had to leave to supervise others or to do some paperwork. When he did supervise me, he was always quick to provide feedback or praise, but the feedback hits extra hard because I'm still learning. I know he means well, but I can't deny that I felt a little disheartened, especially when I know that the other behavior techs on my team are so great with our kids.

In my session with this particular kid, we're at a table and he's trying to play with a toy barn. The doors had been taken off (don't ask me why, I think some other kids were rowdy with it) and he was trying to put them back on. He was getting frustrated and I asked him, "Hey, friend, do you need help? I can put them back on for you." And he kinda shoves the doors into my hands and I try to put the barn doors back on.

Thing was: the barn doors weren't cooperating. I mean, the doors were eventually fixed, but I must not have worked fast enough because ten seconds later (doors were still not on the little barn), my kid starts howling.

A note about me: I get really uncomfortable when other people cry. It's not like I dislike the crying, but because I don't know what to do... and I also do get the urge to cry. (It's gotten better over the years, but when I was a little kid, if someone started crying, I would usually start crying too).

I tried telling my kid, "Hey, friend! It's almost fixed! We're gonna have a great time with the farm, right?" And like encouraging him to be patient with a lower tone of voice, but it wasn't working.

There happened to be another behavior tech in the room (not on my team) with her own kid and she tried to help me, but my kid started going ballistic.

He was bawling, practically screaming, and I think there were some other things on the table like books and stuffed animals???? that he swiped them off the table and onto the ground.

Eventually, the other behavior tech left because her kid was probably getting overstimulated by the meltdown and I also fell silent. I just...

I didn't know what to do.

He wasn't responding to my attempts to soothe him, he wasn't responding my attempts to give him markers or toys.

Eventually, my boss came back and he took charge.

Chloe.

This man.

He is so good with kids.

He started with telling the kid that his feelings were valid, that it was all right to cry.

The kid started to calm down, but was still noticeably agitated.

So, noticing that, my boss started singing Old Macdonald and that's when the kid finally calmed down, relaxed, and went back to playing with some toys.

The entire exchange happened in like five minutes and I was stunned.

This man, he just??? Calmed down the kid in the most soothing way possible? Creatively too?

And then, he starts telling me that sometimes we have to adapt to our kids needs, that we have to think things from our perspective. He also told me about deescalation strategies and how to improve in the future.

And it was all great advice!

But!

Here's the thing:

My kid had been having a meltdown for like ten to fifteen minutes before my boss came in and I'm in near tears.

I'm. In. Near. Tears.

Now was not a great time to give me a lesson.

And that's on me. I should have been open and honest that maybe I needed a break, needed some space, all that jazz.

But like, I kept quiet about it, responded to his questions and told him that I understood, but the entire time, I was close to breaking.

(So either I'm really good at concealing how I'm feeling, my boss didn't notice, or my boss did notice and decided not to say anything. Whatever the three... it's not good).

Eventually, my kid wanted to leave for another room and my boss had to go supervise someone else.

So:

I'm in another room, my kid is currently drawing on another table, I'm still reeling from feeling useless and pathetic, and then! Another player arrives.

This lady who comes in told me that she's going to supervise me and give me some more tips since my boss needs to handle another behavior tech. The lady is the clinical director, so she knows a lot about kids and psychology in general.

So, she goes on about different strategies to help me run trials with my kids and how to deal with challenging behaviors.

On any other day, this would be a great learning experience! I like learning ways to improve my methods on delivering treatment!

But! Not today. Not right now when I'm still trying to process my feelings and the fact that my kid still isn't responding/attending/allowing me to build rapport with him.

I try my best to deliver trials with the lady's advice, but he continues ignoring me for the rest of the session.

Chloe.

I was in session with that kid for two hours. The first forty five minutes were kinda fine, the next fifteen was the meltdown, and that final hour was spent in near tears trying to keep everything together and promising myself that I would cry at home.

Eventually, I had to transition my kid to another behavior tech (he was my final session and I could go home... if it weren't for the fact that I was scheduled for like a final meeting where my boss could go over scheduling, my treatment delivery, etc.)

So, I'm still in the middle of not trying to cry when my boss goes, "How is everything?"

And Chloe:

That's when I was started to lose it:

"Not well."

And that's such a short thing to say, right? But I must have said it loud enough for him to hear because my voice was cracking and I was hiding my face so he doesn't see (I'm a firm believer in eye contact and he had been supervising me a while to know that, I think) and he goes:

"Take a break."

And I just run.

Tears are literally escaping my eyes, I'm rushing out of there and into a bathroom and that's when I start literally crying.

Like,

Literally wailing and trying to stifle everything.

For ten long minutes, I was in that bathroom trying to come up with a good reason to go outside and face my boss, because??? I didn't want to be caught dead crying in front of my boss! Who does?

Eventually, I began balling up wads of tissues and drowning them water so I can place them on my eyes. (It helps with redness so it doesn't look like I'm crying). I also, on the off chance that I began crying again, grabbed some more tissues from a nearby toilet paper roll.

And I headed back inside.

And that's when I saw my boss and the clinical director standing together talking.

My anxiety has gotten better over the years, but in that instant, all my worst fears were coming to pass. Were they discussing how badly I handled my final session that day? Were they criticizing me? Were they letting me go? Was I not good enough for them?

When they gestured for me to come meet them, they were smiling and looking supportive, but like??? At that moment, I felt myself breaking even more.

When I approached, the clinical director was like, "Hey, how're you doing?" And her voice was really soft and soothing and I really wanted to believe that she meant well.

And I kinda wanted to play off that I was fine and doing okay because I kinda just waved my balled up fist filled with toilet paper tissues, "Oh, yeah! I'm fine! I even got extra tissues just in case!"

Which.

I don't know.

Is not a normal thing to say?

And I think that's when they understood that I was not. Okay.

Because that's when the clinical director was going to say something, but--

I teared up and started sobbing again.

Full on crying.

Thank goodness kids are loud and behavior techs learn to mind their own business except for when it comes to their own kids hahaha~!

As soon as I began crying, I hid my face in my hands and I felt the lady come and give me a hug.

Cue me crying even harder because I expected the worst, and the worst was technically happening, but the clinical director??? Was so soft??? And warm??? And why is she hugging me???

And I hear them talking to each other and I’m still kind of not in the moment except for trying to keep it together even though I’ve long since lost it and that’s when I hear, “Let’s go into another room, okay?”

And they begin ushering me into a nearby conference room.

(I don’t think anyone was paying attention, but it was still humiliating rushing somewhere unknown while I’ve got my fists bawled up against my eyeballs).

Anyway, I'm apologizing for... I don't know... everything? Like I'm apologizing for crying, for not being good enough, for taking up their time because they shouldn't have to baby me.

And you know what? They didn't baby me at all.

Instead, they really talked to me as a person. They told me that I was doing great, that I was still learning and it was expected that I would make mistakes. They also told me that the clinical director should have been debriefed better because my boss thought that the both of us could handle it and that the situation hadn't impacted me as badly as it really did. In all honesty, it's kinda funny. It was because of miscommunication and misunderstanding, which is ironic because I'm pretty sure everyone in the room majored in psychology at one point lol

Anyway, my head is kinda ducked underneath the table because, again, I'm still crying and I'm not pretty to look at when full on crying. The both of them agree that they'll meet me again tomorrow (it's close to the end of my shift, so I was going to leave) and that they were going to talk about how they were going to make it so that I would be more comfortable in this environment, how to lessen the burden of transition, and what else they could do to help me.

The clinical director had to leave because she had to attend to other matters, but my boss held me back for a couple more minutes.

(Okay, that's more of a hyperbole).

He told me that I could stay in the privacy of the meeting room as long as I wanted so that I could gather myself and calm down.

He told me that I was doing really well... but that's not the only thing he told.

He told me to have compassion for myself, that I'm at where I need to be, and that if he wanted to fire me or found fault in my work/attitude, we would be having a wildly different conversation.

Yesterday, I told you that what happened made me into a better person. I think that was an exaggeration. I'm not a better person.

Yet.

I don't know, the words he told me and how he told it, with so much compassion and empathy. He was calm and he didn't talk me down. He let me cry and ask him questions.

I aspire to be as empathetic, to always see the humanity in others. I want to be the person others can look to when it comes to trust and opening up their vulnerabilities.

He also told me that it took years of working with kids and I had just started. Of course I wasn't going to be the best at it, there is a learning curve and I was doing my best. And that's a good thing.

Afterwards, I finally left and went home.

I kinda cried a little before work started the next day, but I think I got better and began working towards trying to embody not only an improved behavior technician, but also a better person.

So yeah.

tldr; A patient under my care had a meltdown, I had a meltdown, and my boss and another boss saw it and talked me through it.

Thank you so much for the questions, Chloe! I know this took longer than it should have, but the experience hit me really hard. I hadn't cried that hard since my meltdown back in June so yeah.

I hope you have a wonderful night and that your grandmother had an even better birthday! :D

[cherryfennec]

Summer Times

Hi! I'm finally back from my two week abroad trip!

[theoneinmultiplefandoms]

introducing my Gravity Falls AU i've been working on since August of this year: "Codename: Caged Canary"! 🐤⚠️

(or at least, still working on - i've been busy everywhere else though GDJDB)

AU Synopsis:

"During one of the sea trips, Stanley Pines got a vision / message from The Axolotl about Bill - that he'll be stuck in Stan's Mindscape watching through Stan's eyes and ears for the time being (thankfully powerless) as part of his "Exposure Therapy". As a fair trade, They also decided to transfer Bill's powers onto him for extra protection - although Stan didn't get them until later, which was quite a surprise for everyone involved.

Does Stan know why he's being the test dummy for this whole Exposure Therapy™️ shtick? Does Bill know why The Axolotl suddenly decided to torture him more? Even so, does Ford know why would all of this happen to the three of them now?

The answer to all three: Nope. No direct answer can ever be given by the pink-frilled god, sadly... at least, not yet."

[shalom-iamcominghome]

I've seen the last '"g-d made you perfect" that I can handle, and it's led me to a realization about how I think of g-d.

I don't think we were made perfect. We were made human. And, if I'm honest, the only perfection in my mind is g-d, and that sense of perfection is what differentiates humans from g-d. If humans were as perfectly-made as g-d, I for one wouldn't see the point in following, believing, trusting, caring for, or loving g-d.

I guess for me, I see the ways in which humans alter the Way We Were Created that I really don't think it's right to speculate as to if there's a limit to altering our abilities or bodies. For instance, as a trans person, I've definitely been inundated with this idea that because g-d made my body "perfect" that I shouldn't alter it ever, but isn't that a dangerous precedent? Is it really so, that our bodies are magically made perfect, as g-d that to even tamper with the idea of change would be the same as cursing g-d? I really don't think that's compelling.

I love thinking about just how much g-d is placed into people, but I don't think it warrants restricting the ability to learn, create, grow, or change. Thank g-d that He created the ability to change!

[its-your-mind]

*deep breath in*

the fears 👏 have always 👏 been (in one way or another) 👏 parallel 👏 to 👏 desire 👏

let me explain.

so many of the statements given by actual avatars center around some sort of need that was met by their entity. Lots of them even had a positive relationship with the fear that drove them.

Jane Prentiss is an excellent example - the Corruption has always been about a form of toxic and possessive love, but she personally has a deep desire to be “fully consumed by what loves her,” and finds a perverse joy and relief at allowing herself to be a home

Jude Perry is another - she fucking loved watching people’s lives be utterly destroyed. The Desolation only offered her a power of destruction on a grander scale, and then gave her a more intense rush of joy as she did its work. When she tells Jon that he needs to feed the Eye before it feeds on him, it’s almost as an afterthought; she was happily feeding the Desolation long before it burned her into a new existence.

Simon Fairchild. Every time that old loose bag of bones wanders into the picture, he is having a fucking EXCELLENT time playing with the Vast. He loves showing people their own insignificance, and he loves luring them into situations where he can throw them into the void as he smiles and waves.

Peter Lukas (hell, the whole Lukas family (except Evan. RIP Evan.)) hated. people. all he wanted was for them all to go away, to leave him alone. The Lonely only fulfilled that desire.

Daisy, Trevor, and Julia, all devoted to hunting those things they deemed monstrous.

Melanie, holding tight to that bullet in her leg because on some level, she wanted it. It felt good, it felt right, it felt like it fit right alongside the anger and spite that drove her to success.

Annabelle Cane first encountered the Web when she was a child, running away from home in order to tug on her parents’ heartstrings in just the right way to have them wrapped around her little finger. Later on she volunteered to be the subject of an ESP study. Hell, she’s the one who dangled the “Is it really You that wants this?” question over Jon’s head in S4.

And that brings us to Jon, beloved Jarchivist, the Voice that Opened the Door. Ever since he was a child targeted by the Web, he was looking for answers. He joined the Magnus Institute’s Research Department looking for them, he stalked his coworkers in search for them, he broke into Gertrude’s flat and laptop out of desperation for them. And when he realized that all he had to do was Ask to get truthful answers to his questions? It was only natural for him to jump at that opportunity.

Elias told S3 Jon that he did want this, that he chose it, that at every crossroads he kept pushing onwards, and the inner turmoil that caused was one of the focal points for Jon’s character through the rest of the podcast.

There’s a certain line of thinking in many circles about the power of the Devil: he’s not able to create anything new. All he’s able to do is twist and warp that which was already present, making it something ugly and profane while still maintaining the facade of something desirable.

Jon didn’t choose the Eye. But he did wander into its realm of power, exhibiting exactly the qualities it was most capable of hijacking and warping to its own ends. Jon didn’t choose the Apocalypse. But Jonah picked at him little by little, pointing him towards each Fear individually. Jon didn’t want to release the Fears. But the Web tugged on his strings just so and laid a pretty trail for him to follow until he reached its desired conclusion.

Jon didn’t choose ultimate power, or omniscience, or even his own role as Head Archivist. But he said “yes” to the right (wrong?) orders and kept on pushing for the right (wrong?) answers. He wanted to succeed at the work he had been assigned. He wanted to protect his friends. He wanted to rescue them when they were lost. He wanted to prevent the apocalypse, to save the world. He wanted to know why he was still alive, when so many had died right in front of him.

The Great Wheel of Evil Color that is the Entities might not fit as neatly into categories in this universe - maybe there was no Robert Smirke trying to impose strict categories on emotional experiences, or maybe the ways they manifest in the world has turned on its head (goodness knows many of them have been showcased and blended in some very fun and new and horrifying ways so far) - but their fundamental foundations seem to be the same. Hell, in episode one we learned that there had been enough individual incidents to create a distinction between “dolls, watching” and “dolls, human skin.”

Smirke’s Fourteen isn’t going to be relevant as common parlance, RQ said that already, but I don’t think that means the Fears themselves (and their Dream Logic-based rules) are different - I think it means that the levels of understanding, language used, and personal connections among people “in the know” are going to be entirely unfamiliar

[ineed-to-sleep]

Jackie died. Jackie died and I'm devastated. I will never be the same person again

[marclef]

(warning, incoming Walls of Text up ahead! you have been warned!!)

today's lesson starts us off many months prior, in a tower built by a crazed, pizza-headed freak with a love for the "mad scientist" sort of thing. and so, let's ask ourselves the same question he did: "what are the perfect ingredients for making a clone of Peppino Spaghetti?"

well, for starters, you're gonna need some of that Peppino DNA, that's essential! some old, thrown-out pizza from the dumpsters behind his pizzeria couldn't hurt either, helps make a gooey and strong body for the new creation! (plus, who knows how much Peppino is on that thing... can't hurt to add it!)

but, there's something missing, gotta be a bit more to add to this thing to help keep it stable. well, what did they use in that one movie with all the cool dinosaurs and parks and stuff?

jackpot!!! an unlabeled container of Frog DNA (that DEFINITELY was not carelessly swiped from a nearby research facility 👀) this'll do perfectly, and surely there's no way that the type of frog this DNA is from will have unfathomably-large consequences in the future! .... right?

.... oh dear.

but... let's go forward a good couple years or so! the Pizza Tower's been crumbled to dust for months now, things are going well. in that time Fake Peppino, Peppino's noticeably-froggy clone has "moved in" with Peppino (aka, Peppino couldn't get him to leave and gave up trying), and Noise/Noisette have gotten children of their own! Poppy and Mustard, two little babies that Noisette allows Fake Peppino to babysit often! he does a good job, he knows to be careful with them since they're his friend's tiny creations after all!

(reusing an old drawing, ah well, ignore how big Eyhm is here 👁👁💧)

Fake Peppino is good at caring for the two babies, as well as Eyhm, who he treats similarly and knows to protect. it's like something in his mind is wired that way, to protect and care for things much smaller than him... (besides rats. rats are delicious.)

it's strange though.... caring for the young ones like that, it makes Fake Peppino feel very different, as if he was always MEANT to be a caring parent like that. maybe, in his mind, he's gotten the feeling that, maybe having little babies to care for wouldn't be so bad...

until one day... he starts feeling strange. much hungrier than usual, it gets to the point that Peppino has to kick Fake Peppino out after eating nearly every edible thing within the pizzeria. but once he wanders over to Noisette's Cafe and eats his fill, he's alright, and finds his way back to Peppino's to pass out all full.

the next few days, though, he's not hungry at all. sure, after the first day he'd be full for a while, but even after that there's no more urge to eat. he's confused, and Peppino even more so. and yet, even though he's not eating, he still feels full regardless...

one night, Fake Peppino struggles to fall asleep, feeling uncomfortable, like his stomach is turning. and then, in the middle of the night, the strangest thing... little croak-like sounds, and a lurching feeling...

and, hearing a commotion outside, Peppino wakes up and goes out, only to see:

The Fakelings 🐸

5 little wads of frog-like goop, all croaking and squeaking away. if only Pizzahead had watched the entire dinosaur movie... he'd known that adding Frog DNA to his clone was a bad idea! so now here we are: a Fake Peppino that, simply by wishing for children, has gotten his body to unintentionally made them. but, let's take a look at these little things.

small, barely bigger than a football. they look like miniature little Fakes, with stubby little limbs and no back legs yet, just a simple black tail. they've got no teeth yet either, just a tiny mouth with a big tongue. the instant Fake sees them though, he falls in love; it's like instinct awakens, and his mind instantly shifts to caring for them as best he can.

now... that Frog DNA is kicking in full force though... and Fake has very interesting ways of keeping them safe, at least the first few days of life. the babies cannot move well on their own, and so Fake Peppino tends to carry them around, in a matter similar to his Froggy origins. when they're tired, or simply want to be comfy, he will carefully swallow them and keep them in his stomach, which is non-functioning and "safe" for the next couple weeks. Peppino and the others think it's weird... but Fake couldn't be happier, and he only wants to keep his babies safe.

that parental instinct hits him very strong though.... very strong. so much so, he might end up seeing those that he's already caring about similarly to one of his own...

(... oh dear..... well, at least she'll be safe.)

the babies grow fast though, just as Fake Peppino did. it's only a matter of time until they've gotten bigger, and formed into a much more "solid" body!

at over 1 week of age, they've doubled in size, already much bigger than Eyhm... who has become an honorary big sister, regardless whether she wants to be 👀💧 but they are gentle, and care about Eyhm very much, just as their father does! their limbs are more pronounced now, and they have true hind legs! they're noticeably frog-shaped... a side effect of Fake's DNA, they are growing up to be more "froggy" in appearance than he is!

they've grown up being fed by Fake, but at this age, they will start scavenging around the pizzeria for food of their own. unfortunately for Peppino, what qualifies as "food" tends to vary wildly... many things around the pizzeria will be snatched up, from scraps on the floor to non-edibles like plates and cutlery. at least Fake Peppino will try to stop them if he catches them eating something they can't properly absorb.

after this point, they will grow even quicker than before, and slowly become more independent. they'll spend less time resting with Fake Peppino, which is probably a good thing.... they're getting a bit too large for that.

poor Fake. but it's nicer to comfort them and relax with hugs and the sort, anyways.

but with their rapid growth, and a much quicker aging than standard humans, they will grow up very quickly!

at one month, and they're starting to look much more like tiny little Fakes! they can stand on their hind legs now, though they still crawl much more often. and most importantly, their mouths have grown little teeth, not as strong as Fake Peppino's are, but still very capable of a powerful bite! but with that, a whole new world is opened up to them... now that they can chew, and they have a strong urge to bite anything they see fit!

nothing in the pizzeria is safe. legs, faces, tables, chairs, everything is going to be chomped on to test its strength. usually after a test bite, they'll have determined whether or not what they've bitten is for eating. tables and chairs are not tasty, but legs taste interesting and usually result in a funny scream. Fake Peppino does scold them if they go to far though, and will generally not allow them to hurt anybody (unless your name is Theodore.) though biting and chewing things is fun play, Real Peppinos and Big Sisters are not for eating!!

so... where do they go from here? the Fakeling babies will continue to grow, and after a few months, are independent enough to go out on their own. a story for another time.... but don't worry, that time won't be long! but for now, it's time to rest, and let Fake Peppino have a nice long nap for the hard work he's done.

until next time! 😉

[itissadbutitsmy-artblog]

that's an option??

anyways NEVERMIND THAT SHE CAUGHT SOMETHING SHE CAUGHT SOMETHIGN

[it-one-line-at-a-time]

"Yeah.

"You're braver than you think."

[strangersteddierthings]

No Regrets - Part Three

This one got longer than I expected, so it's only about Spring Break. We return to the apocalypse next part.

Part One🦇 Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four🦇Part Five🦇Part Six

"-eve?"

Waking up again is disorienting. His head aches like the beginning of a migraine. There was something he was thinking about but it's fading quickly. A conversation in a boathouse...? That's not right. The boathouse was empty. The police had beat them there.

"Steve?"

No. No conversation in a boathouse. But there was a phone call. He knows he remembers that. Joyce had called last night. Her and Murray sharing a phone between them as Steve- Oh! Right. Steve told them he knew about Hopper in Russia.

"You have to go, though. Hopper is alive and waiting. And there's a demogorgon. Demodogs, too. You have to kill them all. Any connection to the Upside Down left alive helps Vecna. It's like having a tether to here makes him stronger."

"I can't just abandon El," Joyce sounds conflicted, and Steve gets it. He does.

"You aren't. You're going to be giving her back her dad. She's got Jonathan and Will and Mike. Argyle, too, if he wants to be there. Just. Just get them on the road and back here as soon as you can. If they don't leave soon than Brenner will-"

"Brenner? What do you mean Brenner? He's dead. Right? He's supposed to be dead."

"Yeah, well, he's not. He- I don't know the full details, just. I was just given an overview because, y'know, other shit was going down. But he makes El relive a lot of traumatic shit from her past and yeah, it gets her back her powers, but she's just a kid. She's just a kid."

"Her abilities, they aren't gone?" It's Murray who asks.

"No. She's just traumatized, in a different way. It was... it was Jonathan who said this, actually, to me. I mean, he hasn't said it yet, and if everything goes the way I want, he won't need to say it ever, but that's- sorry, that's not important. He said he thinks El blocked her abilities because she lost Hopper. An internal block, you know? 'Cause she couldn't save him with them, so what was the point of having them?"

"And you think bringing Hopper back will free her of that block?" Murray asks.

Steve can't help it. He laughs. "Hell no. I think years of therapy might, but having her dad will help. There's no way it hurts, right? Also, uh, you're the parent here, Joyce, so I'll let you decide what to tell her, but the big, awful thing that Brenner made her relive? It was a massacre. At the lab, when she was there. Another guy, another number, killed a bunch of the people there. It was El who saved the remainder. She stopped him from killing anyone else by opening the first gate to the Upside Down. She tossed him in and closed it. She's not a monster. Oh, that part you have to tell her. She's not a monster."

"Steve!"

There's more to the phone call, Steve knows he knows that but there's yelling and it's distracting.

"Steve!!"

"What?" Steve snaps, both with his shout and back into himself. He's sitting at the picnic in Forest Hills. Everyone is looking at him with varying degrees of concern.

"You okay?" Robin asks, "we've been trying to get your attention for a while now."

"What? Yeah, sorry," Steve says, distracted, standing up and looking around. Eddie's trailer is right there, and Wayne's truck is parked in front. He knows Wayne. Knew Wayne? He's in charge of the gardens at home base. A real green thumb, not that you can tell by looking at the trailer now. "You think that with Fred's death, they'll stop suspecting Eddie?"

"What? We don't know that they suspect Eddie," Dustin is quick to say, "I know he didn't do it, and so do you so-"

"Yeah, I know! I do know that, but Chrissy died in his home and then he ran. Of course, he's a suspect. But he was in jail last night. So. They can't suspect him still, right?"

Nancy purses her lips, giving Steve a look he knows isn't good. "Well, it will depend on when they apprehended Eddie, which we don't even know they did. How do you know he was in jail last night?"

"Good point. I don't, not for sure. But Wayne might," Steve says as he starts walking away. He can hear everyone at the picnic table shouting for him and scrambling to follow. Steve picks up speed, dashing up the steps and pounding on the door before anyone catches up.

"Steve, what are you doing," Max hisses, because she's the fastest and therefore the closest.

"I just gotta-"

"Can I help you?" Wayne Munson greets, voice even. Steve watches as his eyes sweep the group, pausing on Nancy before coming back to Steve.

"Hopefully. Uh, I'm a friend of- well, no that's a lie. I don't want to lie to you. I'm not Eddie's friend, but I want to be, and Dustin here is, so we just wanted to know if you could tell us if Eddie's okay?" Steve says. "You already talked to Nancy yesterday, but she didn't know that we, like, knew him. Have you heard from Eddie?"

Wayne eyes him with suspicion, which is fair, "I ain't heard from him."

"Please," Steve says, because he's got to try one more time. Either Wayne doesn't know for real, or he's lying because he doesn't trust Steve. He's not sure he'll be able to tell which is which, but he has to ask again, "I swear that we just want to help Eddie. Whatever happened to Chrissy wasn't his fault, I know that. I just need. I need to know he's not- not out there, alone and scared. Please."

Wayne stares him down and Steve refuses to look away. Wayne's eyes flick away from him to the single police cruiser still stationed nearby, then back. "Get in here."

He doesn't need told twice. Wayne retreats into the trailer and Steve follows. Immediately his eyes jump to where the gate will form. Currently it just looks like water damage on the ceiling, but Steve knows. No gate yet, but it'll be there tomorrow. Probably fully formed by the time Vecna tries to take Max.

Robin, the last one in, shuts the door behind her gently.

"I told her yesterday that Eddie didn't do this," Wayne nods his head towards Nancy but he never takes his eyes off Steve. "Didn't stop them from arresting him."

"Thank God," Steve breaths out, which is the wrong thing to say, given how quickly Wayne's face morphs to anger, so he quickly adds, "shit, I mean, that means, he was in police custody when they found another victim last night, right? That'll prove he's innocent."

Wayne doesn't respond right away. Instead, he takes his time looking at each and every one of them, lingering on Nancy before settling on Max. "You live 'cross the way, don't ya?"

Max looks surprised to be recognized. "Yeah."

"Did you see anything?"

"I saw..." she trails off, brows furrowing as she thinks. She looks from Wayne to Steve. He doesn't know what she sees on his face, but he watches as she steels herself, a decidion made, before looking back to Wayne and saying, "What I saw is whatever I'll need to have seen to help Eddie."

"You'd lie to the police for Eddie?"

Max and Wayne have a silent conversation following the question, judging by their stare down and raising and following brow lines. When Max does speak, she says, "I've lied to police for worse people."

"Huh," is all Wayne says as he settles back against the counter behind him.

"Thank you," Steve says, even as his mind starts to calculate. They'll probably keep him the full 48 hours, since there isn't evidence enough to charge him. Right? There isn't really any evidence. Except, perhaps, what Eddie might have told them. Shit. Would Eddie say anything? "Can you let me know when they release him? Whatever happened, whatever he saw, probably freaked him out. I don't want him to feel alone. I mean, we don't."

Dustin is looking at him now like he's grown a second head but Wayne. Wayne is looking at him like he's made a realization. Drawn some unknown conclusion that he must approve of because he nods. "Sure, son."

"You got pen and paper? I'll write down my number."

The silence from his friends is deafening and does not bode well for Steve. He just knows they're going to bombard him as soon as they leave the trailer.

Which is exactly what happens. They wait until they're back by their cars before starting in, though.

"Steve, what the fuck was that?" Dustin says.

"How did you know he got arrested?" Max demands.

"Steve, you are acting so strange right now," Robin says, worry painted across her face.

"Explain," is all Nancy says, crossing her arms.

Should he? Does he even know what's happening? No. Not really. He's got memories of a future that's bleak and dark and terrible and he doesn't want it to come true. Are they even memories? Did those events even happen? He doesn't know for sure. All he does know if he wants to do everything in his power to prevent it from happening though. He doesn't want to have regrets about.... about something.

"We don't win," he says. "We don't win this one. Or, we didn't? We might now. Things are different this time."

"What?" Robin asks.

Steve ignores the question, giving instead more of the information he knows, "Hopper's alive. Joyce and Murray are on their way to Russia to save him."

"WHAT?" he's not sure who asked. Maybe all of them.

"And El is- I don't know. On her way, I hope. But she won't have her powers when she gets here. Or maybe she will? If she believes she's not a monster and really is the hero."

"Steve, you are not making any sense!"

"I know!" Steve shouts and drops into a squat. "I know! I'm not the- the figure it out guy, or the plans guy, or whatever. I'm just the guy who knows things he shouldn't, and I can't tell if it's because I actually lived it, or if I was just given knowledge about it somehow. I know the Upside Down has a red storm that never ends, more democreatures that just gorgons or dogs, and that Vecna slash Henry slash One is a goddamn monster who opens a giant hell gate and causes the apocalypse."

"Whoa, whoa," Dustin sooths, and when Steve looks up, Dustin's got both hands up and approaching like Steve's a wild animal. He kind of feels like one right now. "Slow down and explain."

There's a lot Steve could say. Should say. Steve is kind and soft, even in the face of the end of the world, but he's also learning that he's a little ruthless. Not heartless, but enough that he can see where they are, where they need to be, and how to get there in the easiest way possible. His eyes flick to Max. "Chrissy and Fred. They were both seeing the guidance counselor. You've seen them both there, right Max?"

"I- yeah. Yeah, I have."

"And Nancy, you've got a hunch, right? You need to go to the library to check it out?"

She narrows her eyes at him but nods.

"Okay. So, uh, let's use that as proof. You and Robin go check out your hunch, and I'll stick with Dustin and Max. Take Max to see Ms. Kelley and see if she'll tell Max anything that connects them?"

"You already know what we'll find, don't you?" Nancy asks, and Steve shrugs. "You're right. I won't believe you. Not without this proof. So, we'll go, Robin and me. And when we meet up, I expect you to tell me what we learned."

Max is completely silent the entire drive, an exact opposite of Dustin who shoots off so many questions in a row that Steve can barely remember the first by the time he's onto the next. Not that it would matter, because Dustin doesn't pause between any of his questions or comments to let Steve answer anyway.

Max launches herself from car almost as soon as Steve pulls up to the curb with a loudly groaned, "finally" before she slams the door and bounds across the street.

"Steve! Are you even listening to me!?" Dustin has finally lost steam or ran out of breath or something.

"Are you done yelling at me?" Steve retorts.

Dustin lets out a really big sigh then says, "For now. I just- Let's start with this. How do you know that Hopper's alive?"

"Joyce and Murray confirmed it when I talked to them on the phone. They're supposed to be getting El and crew heading back this way while they go to rescue him, but I don't really know how that's going."

Dustin squints at him. "I thought you could see the future now."

"No. I saw the future, so like, lived it or something. And it's like... You watch Back to the Future yet?"

"Yes."

"Okay, so like, the part where his family starts to vanish from the picture? Because he made his mom want to bang him-?"

"That is a disgusting oversimplification of the plotline, Steve."

"-it's like that. Except I want to change the events because we definitely end up in the bad timeline."

"Okay. Say I believe you. You said we don't win this time. Explain that."

Steve sighs. "Can that wait for like, everyone? Explain it all at once?"

"What made it so bad you have to alter the course of all of human existence?" Dustin demands.

"The Upside Down breaks through, man," Steve says, "Like, toxic air and no more sunlight or blue skies kinda bad. Full on, end of the world apocalypse type shit."

"Shit. We, like, lose lose," Dustin says in a small voice Steve doesn't think he's ever heard Dustin use before he huffs and falls out of view with a click and the sound of squeaking leather. Steve watches as Dustin reclines his seat back so he can stare up at the ceiling of the BMW.

"Yeah," Steve says before they fall into silence until Max sprints back, screaming for him to drive before she's even got the door closed behind her and certainly isn't wearing her seatbelt yet.

They all converge at the school, and Steve tells them what Nancy and Robin learned at the library, then Max puts together the thread that connected Chrissy and Fred, and he has to watch, again, as she accepts she's going to die. She even looks to him, as if he'll confirm that with a shake of his head or a nod.

He just blinks back at her until she looks away.

They want answers he isn't ready to give. Not until tomorrow, after Vecna tries to take Max. Given how today has gone, tomorrow shouldn't be much of a change. Nancy and Robin will still go the Pennhurst, and Steve will take Max everywhere she wants to go, but this time he'll be ready. It's not too late, so the little music store down from Melvald's will still be open. Hopefully they have Kate Bush handy. He'll make sure Lucas has a backup cassette player and-

"Wait. Lucas should be told. He should be here. Why isn't he..." Steve trails off, trying to remember why Lucas would be here. He went to party with the basketball team and- and what? There's something he's missing. Something changed. His head hurts and the white noise is back, and it hits him so suddenly he sways and stumbles backwards until he hits a wall.

"Steve!" Robin gasps his name and rushes to hold him up. Dustin is at his other side just as quick.

"I'm ok," Steve says with eyes closed. He can't explain it, but he's changed something. He knows he has. Lucas is with them tomorrow, he remembers that, and there's this feeling that he should be here now. That he should have shown up at the school, but the reason eludes him. Slips from his grasp like he's trying to hold water. "It's- there was something that was supposed to happen. Something that made Lucas find us here at the school. I remember that. I- I almost hit him with a lamp. But he's not here. He didn't- something's changed. Whatever happened before didn't happen again."

"What, like, you changed the past?" Dustin asks.

The laugh Steve lets out is manic, even to his own ears. "I don't know! I can't remember! It's there, the why, but I can't reach it. It's faded, man, like the picture. It's faded."

"Okay, I think it's time we get some rest," Nancy says. "Dustin, you'll radio Lucas tonight and fill him in. Tell him Steve or I will pick him up tomorrow morning to join us. Let's go everyone, before someone does show up."

Nancy takes Dustin and Max, and Robin sticks with Steve. She doesn't even question his detour to the music store, just helps him find the Kate Bush tape. Doesn't even raise an eyebrow when he buys two cassette players, five blank tapes, and a tape recorder.

"Who is the mix tape for?" Robin asks him only once they're at Steve's house and settled in for the night in front of the fancy stereo in Steve's living room. Robin's called her parents already and told them she was staying with a friend, and they had leftovers for dinner from.

"Just in case. Now, shh," Steve says, and once Robin has properly quieted, he pressed record on the tape recorder and play on the stereo. He's already found the track he wants, so it's just a matter of waiting the song out, pausing the tape recorder quickly, then rewinding the tape. He goes too far back, so his finger just hovers over the record button until Running Up That Hill comes back on, and he repeats the process. Over and over again, until the hour long tape is filled with nothing but one song.

Robin watches him do it in complete silence. She doesn't move or shuffle until after he's paused the recording, stilling again once he hits record. He knows she doesn't understand why, but also that she doesn't need to understand. He knows that she knows he'll explain as soon as he's able.

He's just afraid to say too much right now. He can remember tomorrow; the Pennhurst plan, how it is supposed to go based on what remembers Nancy and Robin saying. Max will bully him into driving her around, and they'll end up at Billy's grave. He'll be ready this time, he already knows the answers they're seeking but he doesn't want to risk too much.

He has a plan. And it'll work. It has too.

Because he can't remember what happens after. Patrick dies, and there's... water? A lake? But why is Patrick at a lake in the dark? He isn't, is the thing. It's like there are two memories overlapping in Steve's mind and he doesn't know which is real. Or if either of them are.

There's a memory of... of Eddie? Eddie talking about Patrick floating but there's also a memory of hearing it on the news, Patrick found dead in his room, murdered the same way as Chrissy and Fred with no sign of forced entry in his house. Both memories feel real, but Steve doesn't know, can't tell, which is.

Robin and he falls sleep wrapped around each other that night.

-

@i-less-than-three-you @nburkhardt @afewproblems @skepsiss @apomaro-mellow @eddie-munsons-lunchbox @sirsnacksalot @livelifeliketheresnotomorrow @sageclipse @schnukiputz @mbloggotdeletedsothisismybackup @lumoschildextra @juleswashere3 @yet-still-more-banched @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @yearningagain @starlight-archer @chaosgremlinmunson @aol19 @goodolefashionedloverboi @gutterflower77 @moomkin77 @wonderland-girl143-blog @krazyperson @sevenmerrymagpies

[shakingparadigm]

fav alnst round so far? (mines is round 6 because i love pain and sorry to break it to you but I literally had no reaction when best boy ivan died.hes dead guys accept it.)

Favorite ALNST round... I'd have to say ROUND 5. The concept of the whole thing is just so spectacular not only in set design but in character dynamics as well. The despair and mockery that lines the whole thing is fantastic.

I particularly adore the way this round further connects the concept of death with the color white. The stage which Luka and Mizi perform on is fully white in color because it's built from the bones of an ancient creature, something of a memorial site. In certain shots, the spine of this creature is very clear. The whole area is ethereal and invokes not only a sense of reverence, but unease, too. It's haunting, almost hollow, and just like its origin, lifeless.

The moon that shines behind Luka is almost as big and bright as a white dwarf, a dying star that has exhausted itself of life.

And of course, the association with death is further emphasized once images of Sua appear.

There's something to be said about the fact that this stage is from the bones of an ancient creature, one that was respected enough for its bones to be repurposed in its honor. A deep reverence, worship, even.

It's painfully fitting for Luka to dance upon the remains of a creature so revered while he toys with Sua's image. A form of mockery, of disrespect, especially to the one who worshipped her. In both the literal and metaphorical sense, he tramples over dead gods.

It's important to note that in this round there are two performers but three participants: Mizi, Luka, and Sua. The feeling of death is something that permeates throughout the entire round because everyone involved has been forced to face it. This shared trait manifests itself as their most striking visual aspect: their white attire.

With the insight gained from Luka's relationship with Heperu, it's safe to say that Luka has experienced the feeling of death firsthand. He has quite literally died and then come back to life.

There's the factor of his purple fingertips, a result of his weak physical condition that keeps him on the precipice of life and death. Combined with his extremely pale complexion, his imperturbable disposition and obssession with heartbeats, Luka seems like a body on its way to a corpse, desperately clinging onto his last hopes of life. Staving off the coldness of death for as long as possible and monitoring his own body so that demise is confined to just the tips of his fingers.

Sua's connection to death is obvious. She has died, she is death.

A point of interest, however, is the fact that while everyone is dressed in white, only Luka and Sua share the colors of white and black. They both have these colors in their design, but in opposite places. The black of Sua's design lies on top of her white, while vice-versa for Luka as his lies at the bottom. It works exceptionally well with their state of their characters. Sua as the dead that crosses into the living, and Luka as the living that toes the line of death.

As someone who watched her god die in front of her own eyes, Mizi dons a gown of pure white just like the others. The difference is her second color, a light pink layer resting atop her dress.

Pink has associations with innocence and childishness, and in its more washed out and subdued state (light pink = pink mixed with white, innocence tainted by death) it's a perfect fit for the circumstances.

It's only during her aggressive outburst, when Mizi has death directly pointed at her that the pink layer begins to rip. Completely shedding her innocence, giving way to complete white. Dressing her for death.

Luckily, Hyuna arrives just in time (clad in black, life) to save her.

ROUND 5 has always been a complete masterpiece to me, and the more I think about it the better it gets. A dying man trying to stay alive, a white-clad widow and the haunting apparition of her dead god all performing this sick dance of death upon the bones of a creature who was exploited for spectacle and performance.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Hi!! This is hopefully a fun question to ask! 💚 What are some of your favourite versions of suguru &/or satoru by your moots/non-moots that you’ve read in their fics ? For example your winter satosugu drabble has my favourite satoru 💅💅💅

🥺🥺🥺 ANONNNN first of all i’m so happy you like that satoru…… i’m really fond of him too!!! he’s very Husband + the implied mommy issues are tasty imo…

but wahhh… this is absolutely a fun question!!!! i doooo wanna preface this by saying that i legitimately love . all my moots’ versions of stsg. they’re all a little different so i go to different moots/other writers depending on what i’m looking for :3 i love love love the fact that fanfic births so many different takes and aus…. it’s one of my favorite parts of reading it!!!

i doooo have some versions of stsg that i’m partial to though!!!! gonna throw them under the cut, i decided to only go with my moots because i’m…… really scatterbrained. there are SO many other sugus and torus that i adore my brain just can’t pull them out at command </3 but i hope this’ll suffice!!

first of all…. my favorite gojos :333

niku’s gojo in general is one of my favorites ever ever ever but i’m specifically adding a link to bten because . bten lives in my brain <3 and i adore both bten!reader & bten!gojo more than anything….. ANYWAY . niku’s gojo is my favorite for many reasons but above all else he just…. feels so real to me . sometimes i have to remind myself that i’m reading a fic and not canon content bc her gojo just FEELS like gojo . it’s a little scary. i read bten and heard kaiji tang’s voice in my ear 😭 i think it’s sooo difficult to capture the balance that canon!gojo has, but niku does it so effortlessly!!! he’s so charming and guarded and annoying and kind beneath it all and i’m just….. in love with him . that’s all. i do want to strangle him just a tiny bit but mostly i want to kiss him.

sel’s col!gojo…. my baby my husband the loml. i adoreeeee sel’s take on gojo and the way he views/approaches love ….. and just like niku her gojo feels so real and so grounded!!!! sel has a way of rounding out her characters and making them feel so human, which i. adore. and it works so well with gojo. col!gojo is canon to me idc. he’s so relatable to me and following his story with col!reader was just so touching 🥹🥹 i . cried . every time he blushed or got flustered i fell to my knees . flustered gojo is really hard to get right i think??? bc it’s just….. such a rare mood from him. but it feels so perfect in her fics. col!gojo reminds me of a plant in the softest, most loving way and i just want him to grow and embrace the sun !!!!!!!! i want him to be happy….

another general pick; alexis’s gojo!!!!!! (link goes straight to my personal fav which is a very bold statement to make but i think abt this fic constantly)…. this is another gojo that just feels. so canon to me somehow???? every time i read her gojo fics i’m just like yeah…. that’s gojo satoru. that’s the gojo satoru that i love and adore. it always reminds me of WHY i love him sm and it’s just….. such a wonderful feeling yk??? alexis rlly captures what i perceive as the core of his character!!!!! i can’t tell you what it is exactly but i feel that so strongly!!!!! he’s my baby and i love him so so bad. he makes me so happy and he feels so human:((((( i just love him…. him and his self-destructive little habits….. also special shoutout to idol!gojo bc he’s just soo. yeah.

then we have io’s flower shop!satoru <333 the fic isn’t out as of rn, but i added a link to a snippet that i’m still swooning over….. i ADORE this concept and it’s so perfect for io’s gorgeous and flowery writing!!!! he was made for her fr…… i just really love the idea of a soft, gentle, smitten satoru 🥺 and him being a flower boy rlly scratches an itch in my brain because of his canon ties to flowers!!! the fact that he kind of views other people as flowers. or at least compared them to flowers in ch. 236….. i just feel like this concept is . genius. nature loves satoru and he loves it back . he’s a nurturing soul at his core imo and that’s not something i see people explore super often, but this au captures it perfectly <33

NOW. SUGU TIME.

moss’s knight!suguru…. my beloved. not a day goes by where i don’t think about him. there isn’t a single language on this earth that could properly convey the physical reaction i had when i read this drabble . this is . The most attractive suguru in the world. to me. he’s so sexy i’m sorry i need him so bad. we all know how i feel about knights and suguru individually so when you mash em together….. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 yeah. my life was changed. the armour the blood the contrast between his polite exterior and gritty fighting … i’ll be so honest just the idea of knight!suguru fighting using his fists instead of his sword is enough to have me falling to the floor in agony like i NEED him. you don’t understand. you will never understand. it physically pains me to know that he will never beat ts out of me. BUT YEAH HE’S JUST SOOO???? he’s so hot and cool and Doomed and i desire him carnally

then we have mickey’s suguru :3 he’s just….. soooo fucking charming? it’s sickening . i can’t stand him. he’s perfect and i need him. mickey always writes him in a very wolfy way while also making him feel so soft and sweet and i just…. adore it. he’s a loverboy first and foremost and he makes me sooooooo happy it’s insane…… i’m linking my personal fav sugu fic of his but i truly adore them all!!!!!!!!! his suguru is just . theee most charming man alive and that’s all i can really say to properly convey my feelings. this particular fic genuinely wrecked me i got soooooo flustered just reading it 💔💔💔 save me sweaty!sugu…….. save me……….. he’s a wolf he’s a romantic he’s a cooer and most importantly he’s my Wife :33

kairo’s suguru is soooo lovely and so hot but i’m especially in love with black is the colour!suguru….. he’s just. so hot i’m sorry. not really though. tattoo artist sugu 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 with his piercings …. his honeyed voice…… his boundless devotion…… heavy breathing . he’s so mommy in this. but also so Father. that’s the best way i can explain it aaaaaaand i’m terribly weak to it……. he’s just so perfect there are SO many scenes in this fic that made my knees buckle 😔😔 he’s so sweet and doting and complex and just hhhhhhhhhhhHHH kairo if you see this you’ve ruined me for life…… specifically thinking about the scene where he worries he acts more like a dad than a boyfriend sometimes + where he calls reader his dove…… i need him in my life i need him to fix me

lily’s poseidon!suguru stole my heart very recently and i have ….. not stopped thinking of him since. i love any take on suguru as a god and lily’s version is just so genius . suguru being a god of the sea????? it’s perfect….. and the fact that he’s so gentle and coaxing and sweet 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 just the way he speaks in this drabble had me captivated he is truly the god of all time….. and his DESIGN . the concept in itself. i know for a fact that he’s the most stunning man you’ll ever see. he’s so almighty and powerful and he speaks so softly and gently but you hear every word crystal clear because he just has this Presence…… i rlly can’t stop thinking about him.

then we have rem’s suguru!!!! who is the acts of service king of All Time. and i’m obsessed with him. i love chatting with rem because i love her but also because we always agree on suguru and her thoughts always make me feel insane….. he NEEDS you to need him. he needs to take care of you. or he’ll literally explode. he’s such a caretaker and i can’t get enough of him….. that’s really the Core of suguru’s character imo!!!! his desperation to take care of others. he wants to take care of you more than he ever takes care of himself because doing that makes Him happy. and rem just captures that so, so perfectly, yknow?????? oughhhh her sugu is just so Mommy i need him to coddle me :(((((

aaaaand finally!!!!! last but not least!!!!!!!! rheya’s vamp!sashisu :33 i know you asked for stsg specifically but i’m throwing in shoko as a bonus bc they’re All characterized so well in this. they live rent free in my silly little brain . there’s not a single person on this planet that i trust to write poly sashisu more than rheya bc she just Gets them!!!!! and….. vamp!sashisu..,… lord save me…….. they could drain me like a capri sun idec. I LOVE THEM!!!!!! their preferred biting spots just feel soooo in character and the fact that they’re all so gentle makes me emotional 🥺🥺 generally speaking i’m not super into vamps but rheya entered my life and i was changed forever . i need them so bad

i wasn’t gonna tag anyone originally, but i want you guys to know how much i love you and think abt your silly little guys actually... thank u for letting me read abt them 🥹

@stellamancer @seiwas @kissxcore @neptuneblue

@mossmotif @dollsuguru @teddybeartoji

@storiesoflilies @hayakawalove @satoruxx

[tapeworrmart]

your username always reminds me of the time i pulled a legit tapeworm out of a fuck buddy's ass.

I feel like there's a joke here about 'no strings attached' but I'm not funny enough to make it

[meggannn]

rambling thoughts here, and not to be all doom and gloom, but: i think i saw this coming when bioware announced htla won't matter in veilguard, so in my head i'm not surprised, but my heart is still very disappointed to find out the leak of imported choices showing ~3 decisions really is all we're getting.

i’ve been feeling for a while that every new game from bioware is probably going to aim to appeal to new players going forth, and i’m preparing myself that the choice importations we know them for are likely gone for good. inquisition was very new player-friendly despite being only a few years after da2 (which is fine) but ten years later, 0% of origins matters, 0% of awakening matters, 0% of 2 matters, and ~5% of inquisition matters. ten years from now, veilguard will be old news too, and it’ll be the next new batch of players they’re after. dragon age's proudest feature, its connective tissue tracking your changes between games, is basically a thing of the past, and i'm honestly expecting the same of mass effect going forward.

it makes showcasing varric and morrigan prominently in the trailers feel even worse, and i was already unhappy with how much space they're taking up. i'd guessed it was nostalgia bait, but now that we know they won't remember or mention hawke, hawke's lover, the warden, kieran, the well... their inclusion feels like insecurity that their game won't do well without these characters, but they don't, or can't, commit to expanding on the many variations that these characters can be.

based off of his lines in the trailers, i'm prepared to just be seeing varric the quip machine, who conveniently won't mention any details about hawke, but i'm sure his possible guilt over his role in his friend's death won't affect his personality at all when he's establishing yet another hero in the making; and a one-size-fits-all morrigan who is now the same character regardless of "i will not be the mother you were to me" or whether she drank any interesting bathwater. who cares, it's morrigan in the trailer! she's swooping! you guys like swooping, right? (by this point i fully expecting them to dig out varric's resurrected corpse in 2035 to get people to buy dragon age 5. and the frustrating thing is that it will work.)

i've had the suspicious sense that veilguard was made for solavellan players (and new players) first, everyone else second, and this news is not really changing my mind. i'm not happy, but i'm also not surprised.

[kipcobblestone]

ASGARD’S FAVORITE BOYS!

🌟🖋️💌🐺⛈️

Anyways I needed a little tap into digital stuff cause I’m gonna be working on a logo for my friend and I thought drawing them would help me a bit. And this was a silly Chibi I sketched forever ago that im still obsessed with!! They’ve all finally got colors…

Btw I designed Baldur, Vidar, and Thor and @clusterpuppy designed Hermod and Hodur!! :D

[rohirric-hunter]

I know it's a reference to Bilbo, who the class was based off of, but I love that burlgars in LotRO have the Riddle skill. Love the implication that in the middle of a fight you're just like, "Hey, by the way, you're in a dark room in front of a door. On either side of the door are two guards. One always tells the truth and the other always lies. What question --"