#middle fingaz up

[middlefingazupxo]

𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐀 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐃

𝐍𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐍𝐚𝐫𝐚

𝐗: @𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐚

𝐈𝐆: @𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐝

𝐍𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐝.𝐜𝐨𝐦

[alprazolam-znx]

Middle fingaz up🖕🏻

[jahveedap]

Mand1ngo Lingo ☆(Raw from the Jaw Octane to Drive Cleopatras Insane) ©2O2O -Epic Exotica Poem By Jah-Ví da P. (Poet) aka SJS

Mighty Mandingo with mo chips than Pringle; Savvy J. Smoove known ta kick the asphalt-jungle prism lingo; {or kick a chick out my Regal}... Fingertips savored like a winding Jamaican ragga-lady's hips, or Ecuadorian cuisine, I'm in Quito! Sold the old-school on OfferUp, heem pullin up in laptop limousines with twins- no Danny Devito. Suited & booted- El Jefe fit, throwback Denero/"Ace" in Casino. Mon$ter mashin witta passion for riches & rations. Uselessly, was usedta thuggin it up wit my Cuzzinz and kindred, barbaric breadren in trenches where da streets get drenched by villainous shower posses- Civilians much shook... Turned the page of a new & improved playbook. Reversed course, returned from the drawing board in full force. '17 Spring saw a ninjah spread wings over the Mississippi Riv...

& begin to ball like Bocce. Flanked by dime piece from the Far East plus a platinum purse wearin wet nurse struttin tipsy off some sake- Like Whoa Kimosabi!- Sportin Starburys with travel Visa in hand. VIP soapy-land, bathed by generous geisha-graced gaias in Japan. Covered by MasterCard & Visa full tilt to the hilt, as much green as the Grinch. Heem's covertly carryin an Amazon's cloaked fire-stick which got more kick than Shotokan karate or Sensei Miyagi. Bounty huntin the sexiest, diamond-studded pedicured toes & bossy but bravehearted siren-esque souls for flavin finesse, non-duress & impressed dirty mind-control. Papí privy to Acapulco Gold- Evergreenz 4-Ever. 🌲🌲🌲~ Doin it for homiez who went while wet, or was wetted up in the wettest weather up north, tribal ties too deep to sever; yet for progress, it's Now or Never. Hot Desert Eagz for the sleaze of thieves, slick serpentine Eves & tuff-guyz who might wanna try me, trynna snuff my light years out, the trap star route; Meet meat-eating hollow tips from I-R beams 0n-Pt. Executed schemes and skirted off into 💯 or more starry nights of Colorado heights; whether wrong or right, The Law Was Club & Fang. Respect- the Yin, & Power- the Yang. If OG gauge shells sing execution before Hustle & $chiest can map a solution- Unleash charm to unarm. My vocals spit Lit like firearm spray- Automatic & autoimmune to vixen perfume. Golden Rose-Up outta asbestos walls/Same-gender concentration camps called correctional centers where many an anti-intellectual may enter. Best believe prayers are for players, as well; To the blade, run and do tell/more props to him- $lim Jim forsook crook life trials to boycott the cleanest or filthiest county jail- Yep, A Negus made bail! Homeboy 4 Life came & got me out that hell. Lawyered up with wiggle-room to boom. Court date not til next moon. Dapper Daddy- a daredevil dandy hypnotizing then magnetizing arm-candy. Hungrier hunter back out & about. Guaranteed to shout louder and prouder than Jump-off joy at knockin’ a high-heeled stunner in Stiletto-Summers; IT-Talented 10th Wonder, high standards & high maintenance-type, Wimbledon trophy azz booty queen. Found her hurtin the Wall St. scene. We made plans for New Orleans & ended up in the Philippines. Gangsta lean in the foreign like the tower of Piza. Like Nipsey & Lauren on ivory horses; Astons & Jags vs Benzos & Porsches. Newly divorced, porcelain face- No acne. Don't @ me, in season for slayin, playin $ugar daddies for sport... The Don of the Dance & Belle of the Ball. V8 smashin down olden silk roads, Middle-fingaz to All of ya'll.

Priceless advice dispensed out the mouthpiece of a modern urbanite prince- kissed by flavor & fortune; was once just a horny toad. Bad kittiez in beast mode, temptress and enchantress trained to go. Determined fa sho'. Liquid-glass paint job. Dressed like Yakuza mob. Cuz executive salaries & suites treat my sweeter ambitions & Bossprenuer intuitions. Pretty brown-eyed Forza models in prime or mint condition; fun-size & amazingly tall, dangerous dolls scaling walls of inhibition. Germany capital hunger pangs. Amsterdam plan excursions, quasi-nervous to strike gold, in Go-go-getterz South Afrikin Cashmere glam. Angelic cobras trained in ruff-rydin Supernovas. Grindin to go legit, elevate a seedy trade & split, then get- tight fisted as cutthroat casinos! For Virgin Islands vacays, groovin on a Sunday and bucket-naked baby makin in Cocomo sands. No mo dim-witted dame distractions, entitled misses interjecting irritating interruptions, or destiny date disruptions. Nor peasantry class destructions like goin back to 3×5 concrete closets, er cells, on some dumb shis, while missing out on wasted clout. Overpursuing trife scams for a hunid grams, as time's too swift to monger cheap Sex, Pills & Trap Rap forever, all the while poofin pale pearl dust a la whispy, amped up poisonous inhalants- an oft-devastating & pulsating perversion named 'Crissy'. And likely a lil pow-wow baggie of blonde sniffie got brought along too- Dat snow-toe ho that'll damage A Pro, Also. That Michele Pfiefer in ya piff, promo-primo and still illegal/whyte liger aka dat blow- drastic drift of Yao Ming, and a faint opium den stench in her Harley Quinn handbag. At the beachfront bungalow sippin Hen, outta Molly so doin snow toe lines on her tummy's tan lines. Ski camp vamp, a mid-toxic dragon chasin the nitro night's dreams. Though testing out swings on Alpine- At the extreme of excess, the apex, Mr. Mannahorn of granite intentions, shapen by gritter Griselda's game-lessons learned. Hence groomed by the realest with the illest access to top strategies of Ginormous success.

Grabbed the bull by its horns. Saw my crown turn to thorns. The crowd stillborn started to shake their heads in scorn. Rebellious daughters' mothers mourn. Tired hearts torn. Took her through shit-storm. Came out above the norm. Exceeding Exotic. Drake said- Do Right And Kill Everything, but my tongue worked beyond any diamond ring. Trust she was sprung off K1ng ding-a-ling. Mighty long thing. Me & Ming Lang Gang/Tru Hef & Heifahz - YaddadaMín. Poohn-Tang Clan porno van. Mean-stroke, deep throat. Lust boat afloat just offshore on shallow waters. 2nite I dine on Purrl Harbor, Tick-tock hotties and sexpots dominated by a despot. However, it's Girlz Nite Out all night @ the Hotel Sweet-Spot. Siraq on the rocks when I dock, crush G-Spots on the dot, with enough left over for the rest of the flock, the felines who jock. Talk money & her ears go pointy upwards like Spock. Adult Star Trek and in the lifestyle up to him's neck- Killin the Playboy mansion for Czech brothel expansion. Space-Age Polished Inspirational Maccadocious Politickin got trix clickin on 6-figure cam-girlz who be ghostin. Coastin past the 69th parallel; private jetstream parade/ just a global campaign of erotic starcade to get paid. So the Po-Pimpology Playbook taught- to Never wife a thot. Tha hell if she icy-hot. Not even if she got Cleopatra's Twat. If she walk to the bank, then 1'mma' have her trot. If she like it a little, she will luv it a lot...

JEWEL THIEF

... Caught thee most slippery, yearning Siamese cat-eyed twenty-somethin unlearned, twin sistren going through my pockets that morning, quiet as kept while I slept. Both crept upon my wallet similar to Eve stepping toward that apple and the winged king cobra's forked tongue- In a flash, mommis dropped it like fried catfish grease tinged her skin. A serious sire inquired while ne'er surprised in the least: "Hey! Wtf are you doing with that!?" From the corner of my eye, they wished they were sly, (Too high off bezels and altitude to watch for viper pit boss, thought I would take a loss. Must've figured I was all gassed and passed out cold due to Int'l rock-star partyin hard the night before witta trio of Singaporean & Thai honey, bare buttocks bartered/mucho moistened delicacies/hard-knock chicks who practice licks that insinuate intimacy with Koh Phangan Island's more salacious, insatiable and super soaked, salivating hot rod's wap.) Ran out a ninja's room at 6:09am on the dot...

With an eyelid open, I spotted Ms. fox.

86'ed all 3 of em out the spot.

They could've gotten shot.

Instead made off with empty jewelry box.

-SJS©️2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣1️⃣

[twixcrush]

Rules: we're snooping on your playlist. Put your entire playlist on shuffle and report the first 10 songs that pop up. Then choose 10 victims.

Tagged by @booboogara

1) Another One Bites the Dust - Queen

2) Circles (Acoustic) - Passenger

3) Cool - Troye Sivan

4) Bloodstream - Ed Sheeran

5) The End of All Things - Panic! At The Disco

6) Before the Worst - The Script

7) The Space Between - Dave Matthews Band

8) Strawberry Fields Forever - The Beatles

9) Stuck in the Middle - Juice Newton

10) Remember Me? - Eminem ft. RBX and Sticky Fingaz

Wow

Well that was a fucking mess and is hardly representative of my regular taste in music, I'll admit the only songs I actually know are the older ones. I know other songs from more of today's artists that popped up, but none of these songs.

Anyway no one actually has to do it but here's who I'm tagging: @deadmarktehfish @momfriendtm @dillpickle52 @meowzebub @ashes-2-cashes @littlehypno @heidipoo-xox @shineyabsol @bitchassmadej @mcrmyforever13

[x-heesy]

Onyx- piro

[Verse 1: Skits Vicious, Jay Reaper & Dopey Rotten]
What, I don't give a fuck boy
Middle fingers up to you fuckboys
Onyx D.O.D yeah we MOB boy
D.O.P.E black rock boy
Drop boyz the illest in the ozone
No clone i be bad to the bone holmes
So stoned take a dab of the home grown
Phone home like an extraterrestrial
Out of this world bitch
Your rap shit's terrible
Talk the talk Walk the walk oh you never do
Chop your head off then i put it on a pedestal
Clean up the tools had a scheme but you never knew
You never knew and you never will know
Crack your window take that Nintendo
Ketamin flow five high five low
Oh psycho five-o die slow
I'm a piro maniac
Ready for the sneak attack
Niggas know the Reaper back
Burning through your speaker set
We ain't getting weaker yet
Sudden death
100 MAD
Understand
They got us living in the last days


Hook]
I don't give a fuck
Straight from the brain I'll be giving you the pain

[Verse 2: Fredro Starr]
(Sounds like the sounds of war)
What, We saying fuck all you bitch niggas
Guns up, we stickin all you rich niggas
Onyx D.O.D take your bitch niggas
When you see us coming better dig a ditch niggas
We put em six feet deep underground yo
(I'm going in for the kill hold me down Dro)
Ey yo i got it Stick I'ma hold it down bro
I kill em all till you won't hear a sound yo
We black mask it, niggas get blasted
Black suits, black hearse, black caskets
Black boots, bald head, black bastards
We tear the club up niggas yeah we crashed it

[Verse 3: Sticky Fingaz]
Fuck their live shows I've seen better raps on gyro's
I got that piro nigga my shit go viral
Let that five blow Dro only you and i know
Check your vitals suicide on arrival
Pull ya plug out the socket
Let this club get to poppin
Give a fuck who is watching
Push shove we drop em
I ain't wanna do it but i did it now it's done
And i'd do it all again cause it had to be done

https://open.spotify.com/track/1E6LJzuDzjYJDsPy2OmbEl?si=qtsD2FHHSjeOqo_xIZbivQ

[placesinmymind]

Eminem and Columbine

I am an Eminem Fan for years now and when I started to get more and more into True Crime I was surprised to find a lot of his Lyrics mentioning Columbine which I never really realised before. Of course he also mentioned other murderers or events, like Ted Bundy and the Aurora theater shooting but I wanted to start with the Columbine lyrics because there’s a lot of material. So let’s start:

The Way I Am, 2000 0:00-0:16 When a dude’s getting bullied and shoots up his school And they blame it on Marilyn and the heroin Where were the parents at? And look where it’s at! Middle America, now it’s a tragedy Now it’s so sad to see, an upper-class city Havin’ this happening Marshall states that he thinks that he thinks that not music is the reason for the shooting but bullying and the parents. But as we all know Marilyn Manson was partly blamed for Columbine by the media. Em is also making fun of the fact that Columbine was the first shooting that people cared this much about although there have been a lot of shootings but now it happened at a “nice” school. There is an alternative version of this song featuring Marilyn Manson (x) He performed it live with Manson (x and x) Manson also appeared in the official video (x)

Remember me, 2000 0:17-0:30 Came home and somebody musta broke in the back window And stole two loaded machine guns and both of my trenchcoats Sick, sick dreams of picnic scenes Two kids, sixteen, with M-16’s and ten clips each And them shits reach through six kids each

Em is making fun of the idea that musicians like him are a bad influence because he is not the one who gives these kids their weapons.

And as we all know, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold both wore a Trenchcoat when the attack started, that’s why „both of my Trenchcoats“ were stolen. And so he thinks that they were stolen to start another Columbine. And when you have these „two kids“ with guns that, when you shoot them, „reach through six kids each“ you have 12 dead kids. And as we all know, during the Columbine massacre died 12 kids (and one adult). By the way, Eminem needed two months to write his whole verse on this song while Sticky Fingaz wrote his verse in one day. 

I’m Back, 2000 0:30-0:41 I take seven [kids] from [Columbine] Stand ‘em all in line, add an AK-47, a revolver, a 9 A MAC-11 and it oughta solve the problem of mine And that’s a whole school of bullies shot up all at one time

This is probably the most well known Columbine reference made by Eminem. This album came out one year after the massacre so it was still an sensitive subject. Therefore his label censored these two words (Kids and Columbine), even on the explicit version of the album. I don’t think I have to explain what exactly this lyric means, it’s pretty clear. In his book he states this:

“ I was getting shit about the Columbine reference on “I’m Back” and the label was telling me that I wasn’t gonna be able to say it. My whole thing was, what is the big fucking deal? That shit happens all the time. Why is that topic so touchy as opposed to, say a four-year-old kid drowning? Why isn’t that considered a huge tragedy? People die in the city all the time. People get shot, people get stabbed, raped, mugged, killed and all kinds of shit. What the fuck is the big deal with Columbine that makes it separate from any other tragedy in America?”

In 2015 a 15 year-old boy was arrested. He posted these lyrics on Instagram and added “Cause I’m just like shady and just as crazy as the world was over that whole Y2K thing” The origiginal lyrics are “ ‘Cause (I'mmmm) Shady, they call me as crazy As the world was over this whole Y2K thing”

When authorities searched the boy’s home they found weaponry and eventually arrested him. He denied any knowledge of the weapons and said he didn’t post this text on Instagram.

White America, 2002 0:42-0:48 White America, I could be one of your kids White America, little Eric looks just like this

In this song it’s not only about the Lyrics but also about the music video. With “little Eric” he mentioned Eric Harris but it was also meant as an example for a typical white kid. He is from middle america because his name is in the middle of amERICa. The interesting part is, as I said, the video. Where you can see news of an school shooting during “I could be one of your kids” And during “little Eric looks just like this” you can see one of those typical yearbook pictures and the house of the school shooter. The house looks a bit like the one the Harrises had.

When these lines get repeated you can see a boy full of (probably) blood stepping out of the map of america. On his shirt is written “I am Eric”.

Rap God, 2013 0:49-0:54 I’ll take seven kids from Columbine Put ‘em all in a line, add an AK-47, a revolver and a 9

This was the first time we could hear the Columbine Line uncensored. Eminem didn’t rap all of the “I’m back” lines because he just wanted to “See if I get away with it now that I ain’t as big as I was” As you can hear, he got away with it.

Eminem is one of the few people who openly give their sympathy for the two shooters. He admitted to be interested in serial killers in this statement: “I did find myself watching a lot of documentaries on serial killers, I mean, I always had a thing for them. I’ve always been intrigued by them and I found that watching movies about killers sparked something in me.The way a serial killer’s mind works, just the psychology of them is pretty fucking crazy. I was definitely inspired by that, but most of the album’s imagery came from my own mind.”

But Marshall Mathers seems to have an very personal realationship with the whole Columbine Issue. He himself was bullied on a daily basis during his childhood, often for his race and for always being the new kid. When he was nine years old he got beaten up so bad he was in an coma for several days. I think he is one of the people who is trying to understand what Harris and Klebold were going through. But I think it is important to mention, that he is the living proof that even when your life is is shitty right now because of some people who have nothing in their life but to terrorize you, that you can still have a better life. And you beat them best when you keep on living.

“That Columbine shit is so fucking touchy. As much sympathy as we give the Columbine shootings, nobody ever looked at it from the fuckin’ point of view of the kids who were bullied—I mean, they took their own fucking life! And it was because they were pushed so far to the fucking edge that they were fucking so mad. I’ve been that mad.”

-Marshall Mathers

[middlefingazupxo]

🖕🏼 | @𝐝𝐞𝐳𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐳 ❤︎

[iainwrites]

I want to preface this post by saying I’m as excited for Black Panther as I have been for any other Marvel MCU movie, and that while I haven’t watched Wonder Woman (DC burned me three times in a row with some seriously underwhelming/aggravating movies), I’m happy to hear that its been well reviewed all around.  Maybe some time in the near future, I’ll set aside some time to watch it, but at this point, thrice burned means I’m not in any mood to support a DC cinematic universe at this point in time.  Onto the main event!

After the quick kind of quip I made about Wonder Woman and Black Panther a few nights ago, I gathered some information and decided to lay out some facts.  All of this stems primarily from the fact that those two movies are being touted as “firsts” in their respective fields: First female led superhero movie for Wonder Woman and first superhero movie led by a black actor for Black Panther. Both are great monikers for the respective companies to hang on their walls… except for the fact that they could have made those plaques up a couple of decades ago, but seem to have forgotten all about their past actions.  Well, it’s not just the companies with this selective amnesia; it seems like a good number of people have forgotten this as well.

See, these “first” movies aren’t really the firsts.  If you really want the firsts, you have to go back a couple of decades.  Yes.  Decades.  DC made its first female led superhero movie way back in 1984, spinning Supergirl off from its successful Superman movie series.  Granted, it wasn’t as well received as the parent movies, but Helen Slater, who portrayed Kara, was nominated for a Saturn Award.  Coincidentally, this movie was forth in the continuity’s chronology, something that it share with Wonder Woman.

Let’s fast forward to 1998.  With no prior cinematic universe to draw from, Marvel takes an incredibly niche character for the mainstream consumer, gives him his own movie, which proceeds to make bank and generate two movie sequels, an anime series, a live action television series and numerous appearances in media afterwards.  Yep.  We’re talking Blade, portrayed by Wesley Snipes, Sticky Fingaz, J. D. Hall, Terry Crews, Harold Perrineau… whoa whoa whoa.  Did you know that, except for one time, each time Blade has been depicted, its been by a black actor?  Well, I’ll be damned.  Those three movies, by the way?  With a budget of $164 million, they earned back $415 million.  Not a bad trilogy, all things considered.

And we’re not done!  Going forward to 2004, we see Halle Berry, the only black woman to have won a Best Actress Academy Award, climb into Catwoman’s leather suit.  The results… well, they weren’t good.  It was critically panned and typically serves as a guilty pleasure movie, but it was still the first superhero movie to feature a black woman in the leading role.

None of these points will take away what Wonder Woman has accomplished: being a wildly successful superhero movie taking who many consider to be THE super-heroine that all others are judged against is no mean feat.  And Black Panther is sure to break bank like nobody’s business and have the Marvel flair that we come to expect.  But please don’t go ignoring that which has come before.  Supergirl, Blade and Catwoman may not be the box office superhits we expect hero movies to be today.  They may have been middling or outright flopped. 

But they existed.  The movies that are coming out in the near future owe something to those movies of yesteryear because they helped pave the way.  They may not be the paragons of what we want these “first” movies to be, but they were there when no other movie tried.  They helped prove that these movies could be made in the first place.

[berberandq-blog]

Ten Things From Tel Aviv

Before team Berber & Q embarked on the nitty gritty of setting up the second restaurant, Shawarma Bar. It was imperative that some crucial research was undertaken. It’s not an easy life this restaurant business, it’s a tough job, and google certainly can’t do it, sooo,.. 5 tickets to Israel please!!

Hummus, from Abu Hassan in Jaffa – to coin a phrase ‘the best a man can get’. I go there for breakfast. Don’t judge me for that.

The old town of Jaffa is a great place to explore. Filled with flea markets, hidden restaurants and junk shops, it has a vibe and feeling unlike anywhere else in the city.

 Taxi drivers in Tel Aviv are, without wanting to generalise or stereotype, an interesting lot. Approach with caution, treat with care, and ALWAYS ask for them to use the meter.

By Josh K

Their vegetables are a beauty, rich in flavor and bright in colour, from the time you look at them in the market stalls to when you've got them in front of you on a plate by one of the restaurants and cafes that populate the streets of Tel Aviv

Romano, one of Eyal Shani's restaurant, trades in one of the most incredible locations that I've ever seen and I'd love it even if they were serving me dust; the fact is that the food is good too..On top of everything, they've got a ridiculous sound system, a patchwork of vintage and new speakers from where you can listen to some great records played live almost every night

The sun is always up in the blue sky and it keeps you company throughout the day; because we could not take that home we decided to get some yellow tiles for our bar to remind us where it all started...

 By Mattia

 Tahini is the life blood of the Middle East, cut and Israeli open and they bleed sesame seeds.  You really can and should serve tahini with everything!

You can never have too much pita, stuff them, fry them, dip them. Breakfast lunch and dinner!

By Josh T

Home to Broken Fingaz Crew of graffiti artists, every street has graffiti ranging from tags, comical aubergines everywhere and glorious modern colourful Israeli pieces dropped around town (check out artists Hella Haifa, tant and ghost town) 

The chill. In every sense it is a city, there's hustle, bustle and noise everywhere but no one is in a rush, wandering through most districts of Tel Aviv people adopt a very enjoyable, friendly approach to life, an almost constant cafe culture

By Shaun

All the lovely photography by Joe Woodhouse

[dloc-2011]

I got my middle fingaz up cuz it's fucc u🖕🏽

[bamboozle-floozle-shiznit]

First of all:

It’s interesting, this life we live. Isn’t it? Its like a movie and you’re the main character and no one gives you a script, but you feel like everyone else is reading from one and you need to improvise lines to deal with them. Here’s the mindfuck: they’re also the main character to themselves and believe they’re improvising as they go along.

“What’s my point?” I hear you say

My point is no one really knows what they’re doing here!

Most of us are just moving along, making it up as we go. Few of us have our lives planned out and even then life hits them HARD. I learnt a lot while in University, and maybe if I was a more active blogger at the time I’d have built a decent following and made use of that to push some ideas I’ve had laying dormant. No regrets though. Making a mountain out of a mole hill was my middle name in my teens. I was almost always planning, paranoid and anxious about something. I had a good way of hiding it: Preoccupying myself with other people’s problems and having a smoke or a drink with my guys in the evenings. It was very effective, numbing the anxiety and my worries but didn’t take them away. Sometimes it added more but on most days I just sat back, relaxed and enjoyed my time with people who were like me.

Now that I’m through with my philosophical musings:

WELCOME TO THE B-SIDE OF CRAB: THE DOUBLE LP by TOSAN

Hey guys! I promised a double post this weekend right? Here it is. I hope you’re happy. Bother. I deserve an accolade, blogging is a bitch to do, I love it but still.

So this post will have two topics in it:

My NYSC Experience

A life lesson I wish to share for my readers

The two will be interwoven because they’re relevant to each other, but it will be obvious when I am talking about one over the other.

In my final year of University I was extremely pressured to make it to a 2:1. In the previous post I told y’all I got out with a 3.56 but didn’t tell you how. It was a long push from my 300 level when I realized if I kept slacking I’d finish “badly”. So, I went hard and studied and was so anxious that I’d fail but I ended up getting to it. It felt really good because people knew I was on a 3.49 all the way to the end of my first semester of 400. I was on a 3.49 for a year!

It was after my finals that I got to 3.56 and it felt really good. The congratulations, the look on my mom’s face, my statement of result was lit so if I had to go for job interviews I’d look good.

I remember how hard I worked and how scared I was. I should’ve realized that all I needed to really do was work hard, pray and live life, be happy. I stressed till I graduated. I can’t even remember some things because of it.

Fast forward to NYSC registration and all that. I got the second batch, low-key I was stressing the registration because of placement and I wanted to serve quickly and keep it moving but it didn’t go the way I wanted because I didn’t get the first batch. I was sad but it ended up for good because I was able to graduate, celebrate my birthday and buy materials and learn from others mistakes because I went with the second batch. Also I was able to pick my certificate in peace. Some of my mates don’t have it yet cause they’re in other states. See why you shouldn’t stress?

Camp was quite the experience. I was at Lagos camp, some of you will hiss and say just Iyana Ipaja, it was sha still camp and if you don’t think it was worth it because it was close, that’s your cuppa tea.

So let’s develop a system before I start narrating the experience. I’ll divide it into weeks so I can summaries and I remember that I promised we won’t have a repeat of my month recap in the previous post.

You know what, fuck that. Take it how I type it.

So my first week was interesting. I was still trying to get used to it all. The bugle, the meals, the morning parade and all. I was in boarding school for my Junior Secondary Years so it was not that hard.

This was a typical day at camp, NOT ACCURATE, just a loose replication

4:45 : Morning Parade

7am: Breakfast

9am: Lectures

12:30: SAED

2PM: LUNCH

4PM: Man O War/Drills

6:30PM: Dinner

8:30pm: Socials (or for some of us Mami Flexing)

10:30PM: Lights out

So, as you can see it was a regimented life. Except Sundays.

Ordinary first day o, I got to the gate and this gate man saw matches abi was it lighter and was disturbing my life about if I smoke, telling me he will not do anything, bla bla me I was looking at him like

I acted all innocent. In the end he let me go.

God. Registration. REGISTRATION.

SEE, THIS LIFE, OBSERVE YOUR SURROUNDINGS.

Over 1000 smelly Nigerians gathered at the door of a hall and we were all tired. I had no idea I could’ve waited till the next day. Took it so seriously, put it on my head like a hawker and stayed there for hours. It wasn’t that bad though. I got in pretty early and registered did it all. I got Platoon 1.

Wait. I need to do this:

PLATOON1!!!! ACTION!!!!!

PLATOON WAAAAANNN!!!! ACTION!!!!

Okay I’m done.

So I got Platoon 1. S/O to Aunty Chioma, Poppin lady. She was awesome. We were the best platoon btw, I’m not hyping, we had the most 1sts and had the Overall best Corp member. Our Platoon leader Mr. Maleghemi Joseph aka Mr. Macho aka RJ aka baddest rapper, and inspirational leader.

After getting my platoon, I went in to get a room. See that my room ehn, we started very well but then I started to have issues with some of them because they made me welfare officer and some guy was being difficult. I digress. I went back to finish registration after getting settled in my room and got my kit . Please if your father works at NYSC, slap him for me, if it’s the two parents, slap them and then slap yourself. These people made us fill our sizes in the online registration and then we got there and almost everyone got random sizes. I was actually lucky and I got a goo jacket and crested vest. The rest were OP: OFF POINT.

I took the kit and chose not to slim them in camp because I wasn’t going to get bled dry just to look good, I found a way to look presentable for the Swearing in Ceremony.

The days went by and I applied for OBS. For those who don’t know, OBS is Orientation Broadcasting Service, the coordinators were from an older batch. S/O to Femi, Yetunde, TTuoyo, Ifeanyi and DJ Fingaz! I was advised to join OBS by my brother who was also in OBS and loved it. So I went for the interview and turns out I was good enough, they even made me Head of Editorial, that is the part of OBS that handles announcements and programmes. The engineering side handles Sound and Setup for Programmes. I was happy, not knowing that was the beginning of my problems in camp. 😦

Some fun activities I engaged in include:

Man o War Obstacle Course

Drilling (Marching Drills)

Drama (Qualifiers)

Dance (1st)

Talent hunt (3rd)

Kitchen duty (yeah, it was fun somehow)

OBS duties.

Other activities included:

Football (disqualified 😂)

Table tennis(QF)

Volleyball(1st)

Miss Petite (3rd)

Big, bold and Beautiful (Qualifiers)

SAED presentation ( 1st)

Lions den(3rd)

Debate (Quarter finals)

Cooking competition (2nd)

I engaged in some more than others and some “took my blood. Man O War literally got me slightly injured when I went the second time. (I went twice don’t ask how) I didn’t engage in drills past the first week because it clashed with other things I was doing. Dance I didn’t engage in fully, just some rehearsals. I did engage fully in drama but we didn’t get past the first stage. No regrets though it was fun. Our drama was about a village with Lassa fever and two corp members who came to the village to start a health center and a stubborn dibia (my humble self) who wouldn’t accommodate them. He ended up getting the disease too and was treated..

BUT

  We were robbed of the second round in that play. It’s my blog let me vent. A young nigga like me, I wrote the script, and my lovely friend and someone who I admire from the depths of my heart, Faith, was stage manager and director. S/O to Ekene, Precious, Tobi, Uche, Jennifer, Vicky, , Make-up, Emmanuel, Stage hands, The guards, Extras,David (Director also but he was always busy drumming for dancers) and anyone I forgot.

We were the second platoon to present a play and the drama was spread across three days. We got the loudest applause for our day and even had to do an impromptu closing that we didn’t plan for and the crowd LOVED IT. So how, you ask, did we not qualify. Turns out on the final day another God forsaken platoon , platoon 9, did the same thing but executed it better. When we watched the second round, I wondered how some of the other platoons with a horrible play qualified over us. Some said it was because they forgot us since no one from our day qualified. Uh, Bullshit. Whatever. I still hold a grudge against them. I lost my voice over that play.

Dance group was amazing. They were first position. I’m glad I was able to famz their rehearsals and be on the group chat.

We also won Mr. Macho thanks to Joseph.

For the talent hunt i was reluctant to audition but Faith egged me on and when I did the judges said I gave the best performance of the day.

I perform like Josh Norman, I ain’t normal, nigga

Unfortunately, i couldn’t replicate it in the finals.

  How? Well, we were third in the Talent Hunt, also thanks to Joe and I performed but apparently my mic wasn’t working I was told. Dunno why the judges didn’t stop me and tell me.

We were first in volleyball, that was for babes.

OBS was crazy. It was fun but we didn’t take advantage of our opportunities to be remembered because we were all not serious. I even chased one dead guy from the thing sef. I fell sick from the stress at a point.

We also had a camp carnival and a special night when Small Doctor, KENNYBLAQ, Ruggedman, 9ice and ahost of other scame through.

OOO, Tobi Bakre from Big Brother came and most of the girls lost their shit:

Some girls were like:

  One weirdo in particular did this

HAHA YOU THOUGHT.

The food was… Food. I ate it sometimes but mostly patronized Mami.

All in all it was quite the experience

Tips for prospective corp members

Carry money at least 20k

Make friends but good with everyone

Try to enter your room first when they’re allocating so you can pick a good spot.

Don’t charge you phone at Mami if you can help it. People’s panels got destroyed because so many phone were charging.

Use the laundry if you can’t wash. There’s never really time. Laundry’s cheap.

Balance the days you eat at Mami.

Befriend your platoon inspectors.

Be active in camp, it’s a stepping stone to success.

Over rules

Come a day early or a day late. Not on the main day.

Carry your credentials. All of them. Especially certificate and statement of result and an ID card

Join an SDG group.

Don’t dodge morning parade if you can, Information is  passed and Man O War chants are really fun

Be humble, do not engage soldiers when they order you because they’re just following orders. They will miss you when you are gone.

Take a leadership role in camp at least once. It builds character and patience

Carry a Sweater, preferably white, for Cold days and Shades for Hot days

One fulfilling moment in camp was when I was recognized by the Camp commandant. We had a bad start because he came to chase us from rehearsals when it was coinciding with drill and I threw a fit. He saw it and was pissed and I legit stared him down till my platoon mates pushed my head to look down as a sign of submission. Then I apologized. In the final night of camp I came to drop asun and drinks for my OBS colleagues assigned to the staff party, he called me and reminded me of the altercation and said I changed his mind about me because I was really active for my platoon all over camp and he also saw me Emceeing the Camp Carnival. I was blushing like a fool because he is known to be very difficult. His nickname is delete because he chased a couple corp members from camp, yeah, he de-camped them and so he threatened others with the term. His favourite quote “I will delete you!” .

The man ended up being most popular camp official. See why you should not fuck with anyone, just be a badass and people will love you. This was me

It felt good to be recognized and I learnt that people are always watching and admiring from afar when you do good or bad, you end up building a reputation for something. So don’t look for recognition just enjoy when it comes to you and do good in any endeavor you’re in.

Now to the life lessons I learned

Don’t take yourself too seriously: in camp I fell sick because I was stressed by someof the activities I was involved in. OBS was tasking because of a certain man who keppt threateningly us cause we were pretty lazy tbh and I’m ashamed about that. I took things on my head and rarely asked for help

Ask for help: people around you are ready to do things if you ask nielg. Even as a leader delegate wok and remind them that you trust them and need them. Don’t boss them around. It’s hard to remember in the eat of the moment of.but if you do you’ll make a great leader

Challenge yourself and Do it: if you feel like doing anything, do it. Don’t be shy or scared because fear is an illusion. Even if it is something you have never done, challenge yourself. If you feel nervous tell yourself you’re excited and your body is gearing up to shock the world. It works!

Have a support system: every other day I’d go to Mami with pals and drink and gist. Having a support system to take care of you when you’re stressed and need to vent helps you get over things. I appreciate my friends I made in camp and they’re all headed for greatness.

Be disciplined: I watched my friend Joseph in camp and noticed that the he was highly disciplined. Probably from his man o War days. Admired that. He was also platoon leader ad when he became most outstanding corp member. I was screaming in elation because he desred it.

Celebrate yourself and others: I know I said I had a grudge with the drama thing but really it’s no biggie. Learn to celebrate others victories and also be kind to yourself when. You lose. I learnt that from Faith who I told I’m always hard on myself that it won’t do me any good. I learnt to take it easy and always be kind to myself. So I’m leaving that with y’all!

DANCE: God I danced well in that case. Dancing is a joyous activity. You don’t need to know all the latest steps just have fun at the party. Or even if it’s not a party, play some music and dance. Take someone else along to dance with you, especially if you are the shy type. You’ll be happier for it

Ignore naysayers and Don’t be a naysayer: Ignore people who tell you you can’t do it. In the words of Kanye West. “Any pessimist I don’t talk to them, plus I ain’t have no phone in my apartment. ” Also don’t be a naysayer. Be a cheerleader!

Be grateful: gratitude goes a long way. Be grateful to God, to your neighbour, to the air, and everything around. When you can remember to just say thank you to think air. It sounds like some mystic weird zen shit but it works either way

Everything works out for good: While trying to crate this post I typed on my phone and my laptop but I did not have the full draft on PC, so when I got to work this evening, I did not see the full draft. I tried to connect my phone to the work Wi-Fi and it was misbehaving. I panicked a bit but in the end  I called the neighboring hotel that is under the company and got it reset and voila! Do not sweat the small stuff, the extra time I got helped me refine the post for your reading pleasure and  I got an idea I will share at the bottom of the post!

So, that’s that!

Here are some pictures from camp!

      Sometimes I will do reviews of the songs of the week courtesy Wax Poetic. I will also do movie reviews and opinion polls.

Next week’s topic will be about the candidates running for the office of President. I will do an expose on them. Also, its payday! Yaay, so i will be doing my first giveaway. So check in on my next post next weekend!

If you want me to review your album or track or want me to do something on this blog or a collaboration with you, hit me up here. I won’t review my upcoming project because it’s unethical.

See y’all next week

  Give some love to a stranger today

BYE

CRAB: THE B SIDE First of all: It's interesting, this life we live. Isn't it? Its like a movie and you're the main character and no one gives you a script, but you feel like everyone else is reading from one and you need to improvise lines to deal with them.

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Middle Fingaz Up by Da Parish and Hawaii #jasonahoward504 #jhoward504 #bandlab https://www.instagram.com/p/CVmRVScAJB-/?utm_medium=tumblr