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sibsteria · 17 days ago

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Our lady of sorrows…

Mikey Way x Fem!Reader, Secret!xReader

part two

Warnings/Content: angst, fluff, mentions of abuse, not proofread too much, I think this part is rather lazy with writing so I apologise, part three out soon!

Summary: forgot to mention, this is around 1998-2004 I didn’t wanna put a specific year so I can include a variety of things :) I also don’t want to include things such as Gerard’s alcoholism and drug addiction, personal troubles the boys had, etc. as this is meant to be fiction for fun, any troubles within the story with be fictional and apart of my story. Maybe just maybe Y/n’s ex boyfriend is name dropped in this? Can her and Mikey figure this whole thing out?

1 | 2

The air that followed was a sting to your skin, a million thoughts a minute, racing against one another. The next step is lost, he remains buried deep inside you, thick swallows and breaths slowing to shallow.

“I’ll uhm-I’m gonna go clean up a little. You wanna take a shower or something?” He slides out and it’s such a bearing feeling, empty, as if he had pulled out the air in your lungs. You fail to notice his hopeful eyes casting down at you when he stood, he was never one with words.

Stupid. Stupid! You are so fucking stupid, Mikey, God. Say something to her….his inner monologue harassing him, desperate to open up his heart.

Yet.

He stood there, mouth dry, head heavy. He was silent, nothing was coming out- something had ripped his voice right from him.

Frustrated and angry at himself, he leaves, a dusty towel from the floor protecting his nudity as he leaves for the bathroom.

Was that it…? Was this a one time thing? Not that you wanted to put that pressure on him but there were no words of comfort or confirmation. Tears bite at your waterline, fighting to escape, no. That’s just embarrassing. The disdain in your heart would never last long- even if your feelings got hurt- your love for him would return right back to how it always was. You couldn’t stop loving him, dreaming of this moment in the past, it was a sure shock to you.

Mikey is fighting with himself in the bathroom, close to tears himself, that’s just embarrassing. Why didn’t he say anything? He knew you were looking at him, watching, waiting for him. Now you probably sat there, confused and most definitely upset. He didn’t want you to think this was nothing because it wasn’t to him, but he just couldn’t say it.

Your throat clenched, you felt like throwing up, and you were sure you weren’t just pulling green.

You had to make a choice, endure this night next to him, lay in darkness. Or do you leave?

He probably wanted you to go, not sparing you a word or a glance, that’s why he’s been gone so long. Just waiting for you to leave.

You begrudgingly make your choice, wiping yourself off with some tissues you found on his nightstand, grabbing your bag and clothes. Thanking above that you still had his shirt on, you slowly crept out, tiptoeing through the silent house. Barefoot at the too of the basement stairs, you knew Gee wouldn’t mind the intrusion, but what’s your reason?

Hey Gee, I fucked your younger brother and can’t bear the awkwardness and heartbreak?

No, that would be for Frankie, later.

You could think about it whilst you tried to sleep, Gee wouldn’t notice you come in.

Still fighting tears, you had manage to creep down into his room, a perfect space for you to slide into bed next to him.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Okay, he could explain when he came back, right? He would apologise and hold you close, all out of any possible excuse he could use. Yes, that’s the plan.

Partly confident, he left the bathroom, using silent breathing exercises to amp himself up.

He pushed open the door, still hearing the stereo playing, he started to speak.

“Y/n- listen…I-“ His breath catches, you weren’t there?

He swallows his heart down his throat, the thought of you leaving had made it launch up. Was he that bad? Oh god, was it him saying nothing? Had he ruined a sure, good thing he could have had?

Had you left the house, completely?

Biting his lip, he didn’t know what to do, did you have your phone today?

He decided nothing could go wrong if he sent you a message.

Where R U? U Ok? We need 2 talk

He hits send, praying for a reply, it wouldn’t be your fault if you had left it in your house but he hoped that wasn’t the case.

Laying in the dimly lit basement, you hear a chime from your bag, you couldn’t sleep anyways.

You sit up, leaning over the side of the bed, swimming your hand in your bag until you felt something that resembled your phone.

You read the message, oh, he was definitely going to break your heart. We need to talk? This was for sure a one time thing.

You sighed quietly, debating a reply.

Talk tmr, nite

You bit your lip and hit send, you really needed to get some sleep.

Yeah, he deserved that response, he thought in his head. He hoped you were safe, he was sure he would have heard the front door if you left?

He better get some sleep, too.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

You slept decently despite the fact of all that happened, the comfort that Gee could give, even in a non response state, was a great aid to an ailment.

You were shaken awake, met with questions, as expected.

“Hey, sugar? You awake, yet?” Gee shook your arm.

“Yes, I’m god damn awake.” You groan with a mumble and then giggle as he tickles your nose with a strand of your hair.

“What’ya doing here? Thought you were with Mikes last night?” He questioned, not necessarily suspicious of anything at all.

“Snored too much, couldn’t sleep, y’know.” Impeccable acting from you, this wasn’t exactly a lie, he was like a foghorn most nights. This had happened a couple of times, you’d smack him on the arm a couple times before dipping to sleep with Gerard. A believable stunt you thought of late last night.

“Ah, well, guess I’m the lucky one, my future partner will praise me for my lack of snoring.” He beamed, he totally believed what you said.

“Future partner, my ass. You and Frank will live in a dirty apartment with fourteen cats at fifty.” He knocked his shoulder, before yawning.

He hummed in agreement.

“Well, you will be there with us, I see no romance in your life, missy.” He got you there.

“So true it stings.” You half smiled.

“Whatever happened to your old boyfriend? The one from Chi-“ You cut him off at the mention of your ex, the only other person you could say you had been in love with and probably still in love with. You told Gee about him, and just how amazing that relationship had been, gushing and mourning the loss of a great partner. Of course he was the one you had lost your virginity to, both of you together and unsure, learning with each other and it was perfect.

And the worst part was it wasn’t a terrible breakup, it wasn’t your fault you were forced to move state, it wasn’t your fault you broke your cell phone when you got here- losing his number forever. You remember that night more than you wished to.

And the day you left.

You both cried, hugging, refusing to let each other go on moving day, he promised you would always be the last good thing about that part of town. He was your everything. He was sweet and kind, absolutely adorable. God, you did miss him. But there was no way you would see him again, he probably thought you’d stopped talking to him on purpose- that you didn’t want to see him again. Didn’t love him.

That was way off, but there was no chance he would ever come looking for you after that.

“He definitely doesn’t want to see me.” Forlorn and defeated you lean on Gee’s shoulder.

“We could get married at forty? If we are still miserable souls not having found our match?” He sighs.

“Sounds like a plan, we would have to adopt Frank, of course.”

“Oh, it goes without saying.”

You had been indefinitely cheered up as a couple of hours went by. You had to get up and get ready eventually, the boys were coming round for band practise, and then later you were gonna go into this underground dive bar that Frank and you had been to a couple of times before bringing the guys- and they let in under 21s, letting you guys play there a lot of times, too. You secretly thanked yourself for developing a wardrobe box of sorts in Gee’s room, your best clothing piled inside.

You decided to take off Mikey’s shirt, putting on some comfy clean clothes, you had no idea who out of all of you each piece belonged to but it didn’t matter.

Seeing Mikey was playing on your mind, were you ready to face that mess?

You had no choice, you couldn’t let Gee know anything was up, so you had to.

Trailing after your best friend up the stairs, you peek into the living room, Mikey already sat on the couch- zoning out to the TV.

“Mornin’” Gee greets his brother, his ears perking up, immediately looking to see if you were there. His heart stops when he sees you, god, you looked so beautiful- even after everything last night.

“Hi, Y/n.” He waves, trying his chances.

“H-hey.” You avoid his eyes, darting off to the kitchen to get a glass of water, even treating yourself to some ice.

He fucked up, you couldn’t even look at him.

“I’m gonna’ go out and get some snacks later, want anything?” Mikes turned to his brother.

Gerard mumbles a loose list of items, the usual snack run.

You walk back into the room, standing and sipping your glass, well aware of the tension between Mikey and you. You were almost sweating because of how thick the air is, painful.

“Got it. Y/n, will you come with? Could use a hand or two?” Your eyes widen for a moment, you look between him and Gee. Well, fuck, you can’t say no can you?

“Sure, give me a moment to fix my hair.” You still can’t look at him, running to the closest mirror to tie it up with a hair tie you had found, preparing for the worst.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

The walk to the store was silent for a while, neither of you had the guts to speak, until Mikey decides to break it.

He grabs your wrist, ever so gently.

“Y/n. Can we talk?” He doesn’t let go of your wrist, you finally meet his eyes after avoiding it for so long.

“I guess.” You act distant prepared for heartbreak.

“Listen. I know I didn’t say anything last night and I am not gonna’ stand here and make excuses, you don’t deserve that from me. I really don’t know what happened, it’s like I couldn’t speak, nothing would come out. I am so unbelievably sorry if I made you feel like shit, that was not what I wanted, at all.” He wasn’t done but he felt like continuing to ramble an apology would do him worse off, he wanted this to be a conversation.

“Okay…thank you for that. I wasn’t the best either. I left because I thought you didn’t wanna see me, I thought you were waiting for me to leave. Like, when you said nothing and just left, I thought that was it. I guess I just want to know what your feelings are?” You open up, you don’t have the energy to do any less for Mikey.

His feelings? He didn’t even know what they were. He knew he had feelings for you, strong ones. But the definition? No clue at all.

“M-my feelings? Uhm-“ You took a deep breath, here it comes, “I really don’t know, I wish I did. I have feelings for you…I do, really. I just don’t know where we take this from here? I don’t do relationships, I never have, I don’t know where to start, but I know I want you, somehow.” That wasn’t too bad. “I think you are so beautiful and obviously I see you as one of my best friends-“ He is starting to lose you with that.

“Think of it this way. Do you want to date me? Do you want to fuck me? Anything like that springing to mind?” He winces at the word fuck.

“I…I don’t know.”

“Think about it and get back to me. Could I do one last thing?” You don’t know what possesses you, or where you found the courage for this, but it’s better now than never. You would give him something to think about.

“Sure…anything.” Mikey fixes his glasses, as you take a step closer to him.

“Can I kiss you?” Your heart stammers, if this is goodbye to it all, then you want one last kiss.

Mikey doesn’t reply with words, he just nods, his ears turning pink.

You swallow your nerves, cupping his face before bringing him down to meet your lips with his, somehow all your nerves melted away.

The sensation of him kissing you makes you lighter than air, you hope this isn’t goodbye and that he has the sense to love you.

Mikey starts kissing back harder but you pull away, if he wants to kiss you again, he knows the decisions he has to make.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Band practise was in full swing, switching from written originals to winged pieces from Iron Maiden, to just pure chaotic screaming and noise.

You stood in for the drummer most practises, unable to find one that would stay for long, you didn’t want the spotlight in your life but that didn’t mean you would let your friends fail. If you had to be the drummer indefinitely, you would, for them.

“Can we take a break? I am dying for a cigarette….” Frank huffs, stretching out his back.

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll take ten.” Gee waves him off, leaving the room, presumably to wet his windpipes after some decent screaming.

“You are so locked in, Y/n, this is a sick as fuck practise, today.” Frank compliments, mumbling half through his cigarette as he lights it.

“Why thank you, Frankenstein, trying my best as always.” You got the hang of perfecting a drumstick spin, adding one to the end of your sentence letting it spin between your fingers.

I wonder what had you so drum happy today? Small, stolen glances during your haphazard set between you and Mikey had you blushing, easily hidden by the violent act of drumming making you red in the face. Could that be why? The awkwardness had slowly melted away during the day, just leaving a sense of nervousness.

You decide you had to eat something, having gone without all day. You grab what you could guess was a blueberry muffin from the counter, that would do.

You sit on the couch, Frank across from you on a chair and Mikey sat on the floor near the drum kit.

There’s a weird look on Frank’s face, one you can’t quite make sense of, you raise your eyebrow at him.

“Enjoying your muffin?” He stifles a giggle, what in the world was he playing at?

“Yes…why?” You question, slowly.

“That’s not important- What does that muffin taste like?” He hums, tilting his head.

“Um….blueberry?” You roll your eyes, weirdo.

“And?” He bites his lip.

“And what? Blueberry, that’s it.” You stop eating, confused at what he was playing at.

“And…” He drags out his word, raising his eyebrows at you, it dawns on you. Not again.

“DID YOU FUCKING LICK THIS?” You scream, jaw dropping.

“Like a LOLLIPOP!” He cackles, dodging the muffin that flew at him, you grunt, tackling him off the chair.

“You little freak- swear I’m gonna-“ Mikey silently chuckles, covering his mouth in the corner as you attempt to smack him in the head, tousling on the floor.

“Hey! Knock it off!” Ray runs in, having followed Gee, he snatches his guitar off the floor as it is dangerously close to getting kicked.

“Thank you, Ray. She’s, crazy!” Frank is heaving, still dodging your hits

“Sorry, Ray, he licked my fucking food, again.” You growl.

“Oh, never mind, please yourself then.” Ray shrugs.

“Ha!” You scream down Frank’s ear.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

You stare at yourself in the mirror, was this too much? Not enough?

You had actually done something with your hair, it sat in perfect, teased curls, having used an ancient curling iron Gerard had found.

A dress you had been saving for a special occasion, hugs you perfectly- a lovely mix between grunge and gorgeous. Some would say ruined- you would say improved by fishnets and your docs- comfort over classy. Picking up Frank’s old leather jacket, that he had bought to be a baggy item, was just as baggy on you. You let the jackets shoulder slide down resting on your upper arm, like a shawl or sorts.

You took more time on your makeup, going a little more out than you normally would, even you could admit shyly to yourself you looked kinda good. Heavy eyeliner, all smoked out and big, not like the usual under eye- it makes you wanna put this effort in again. You finish it off with a black lip, not the usual red-purple that stained your lips for days. You fix your piercings that were a little crooked, putting some cooler earrings in too.

You do a final look, dusting off your clothes and spraying some sweet perfume to mask the smell of the Way’s.

You hear the door to Gerard’s bedroom creak open, you turn your head to find Ray.

“Oh, sorry Y/n-“ He smiles when he sees you. “You look really beautiful, y’know.” He nods toward you. You laugh a little.

“I think for once I can say I do look a little pretty today.”

“I don’t mean just now either, you are beautiful, and I know you don’t see it.” Your heart tugs itself, trust Ray to make everything feel better.

“Thank you, means a lot to me, Toro.” You avoid his eyes to avoid crying and ruining your makeup.

“I think you are missing something, though.” You raise your brow at him.

“What might that be.”

Ray looks around the room, a bouquet of artificial black roses stood in a vase, he immediately goes up to them. Picking one up, he finds some scissors and cuts the stem close to the head so just the flower head and a bit of stem is left. He grabs a few of your bobby pins he found near your makeup before pinning it into your hair.

“Now it’s all together.” He fixes a few fly-away hairs, like a dad or a brother would on prom night.

“It looks perfect, why didn’t I think of that?”

“Make sure to turn some heads.”

“I will.”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

“I heard there’s a new band playing tonight, their turn in the hot seat.” Frank muses, all of you stood around in the Way living room, still waiting on Mikey.

“I love it when a new band comes along, like seeing how they play and what drum techniques different people use.” You shrug.

“Well, they aren’t better than us, that’s guaranteed, which is why we have a half an hour set after them.” Frank tells his little secret and all of your groan a little.

“C’mon, I thought we were getting fucked up tonight? You remember what happened last time we were hammered.” You cringe at the memory of Frank falling into your drums and ruining the whole performance after breaking the snare.

“We are going to control ourselves, have a couple of drinks, and thennnnnn- afterwards we can let hell loose?” He proposes, like it was his plan all along.

“Fine.” You smile, the rest of the band in agreement. You can start to hear Mikey’s footsteps coming closer and closer to the room, you do a quick pat down when no one was looking making sure there was nothing stuck on you.

He uses the entrance behind you, announcing himself.

Mikey’s world turns in slow motion as you turn around, meeting his eyes, you looked more breathtaking than ever.

He wished it was his jacket you were wearing, not Frank’s, but he doesn’t want to rush this.

“Don’t she look drop dead gorgeous?” Gerard hums to Mikey, all he can do is nod and stare, pushing back his thoughts and wants- the ones screaming kiss her.

For now, he would have to behave himself.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Ray never drank too much anyway, a glass or two for night and due to Frank putting you down for a performance you decided to bring the van to use your own instruments- all except your drums- that was too much effort- so Ray would be the casually designated driver.

The drive there was fun, cigarette smoke slipping through the open windows whilst hard rock and the occasional ballad (definitely not Frank’s mix) blared through the speakers.

You saw the entertainment sign as you neared.

Tonight at ‘Puzzles’:

Introducing-

Fall Out Boy !

(appearances from My Chemical Romance)

Cool name, but not as cool as yours, you had thought. Your exes band didn’t even have a name when you had left them, it wouldn’t be them, surely. Although the thought always played on your mind- one day would they find their way here?

You parked round the back like always, opting to leave your stuff in the van.

You walked into the bar and everything was in full swing, just how it always was, The dirty floor, the sound of smashing bottles from behind the bar, the music playing heavy through the speakers and an abundance of drunken laughter.

The band wasn’t on yet, you hadn’t missed the opportunity to judge them, deciding to grab a drink you yanked Frank by the hand to join you.

“Hey, Y/n! Frank, what’s up, man!” The bartender bro bumps Frank before giving you a friendly wink and a smile.

“Hey, Ted, bud.” You wave, he automatically points to the cheapest bottles beer and you both nod in amusement.

Your coins clink together as you lay them down on the bar, paying for yours and Frank’s, he would get the next one anyways.

“Thanks, hun.” Frank cheers’ you, before you both bring the bottles to your lips, chugging half.

The rest of the guys join you shortly after, creating a messy semi circle near the bar.

“I know we said go easy but…shots?” Gerard’s eyes sparkle mischievously, you all cave immediately.

“I’m in.” Mikey.

“Fine, you’re paying.” Frank.

“I can’t say no.” You.

“I’ll just take a beer.” Ray, smart.

The shots are poured and you all clink them and table tap them before knocking them back.

You put your shot glasses back on the table before someone taps on your shoulder.

It couldn’t be the guys as you’re facing them, and you don’t really know anyone else so who would that be?

You spin around with a confused look on your face, your eyes widening as you see who tapped you.

“Pete! What the hell, man, What are you doing here?” You are pulled in for a hug, god, you missed him- your old best friend. Did he bring him? Was Pete on his own?

The guys give you a confused look, you wave them with your hand- you would explain later.

“Hey, Y/n- actually, we are play-“ He was cut off by the stage microphone.

“Ladies and gentlemen! New here tonight and ready to play for you all- I want you to give a wild, Jersey, welcome to Fall Out Boy!” The new band is called to the stage. The crowd murmurs a little giving a cheer.

“We are here to play!” Pete beams, gauging your reaction. Your face drops, you can’t swallow, he can’t be here on his own. That must mean-

“See you after the set, Y/n. Somehow I just knew you would be here.” Pete bids you goodbye, heading to the stage.

You watch as they all pick up their instruments.

You run to stand in between Gee and Mikey.

“He’s here.” You whisper in Gee’s ear, he gives you wide eyes, knowing exactly who you mean.

First there’s Andy, heading to the drums- you remember when he first let you on his kit- you fell in love with them. He gave you pointers and helped you fuel your love for them more throughout the years.

Joe, sweet old Joe. The laughter filled afternoons, where you sat around trying to throw candy in each other’s mouths.

Pete, your old best friend, the tears shared and times you spent together never seemed to leave your mind.

And then…

Patrick.

He looks good, so good. You hadn’t seen him since moving day, the day you left Illinois.

Damn it.

You watch with awe, as he shyly introduces themselves again, picking up his guitar. You can’t draw your eyes away from him.

You don’t notice how Mikey looks at you, do you know this band?

“Uhm, so there’s someone here in Jersey, who I- we lost a long time ago- a lot of these songs we wrote about her. I hope to see her whilst I’m here. This is- Grand Theft Autumn!” Could he be talking about you?

Before Patrick starts singing, Pete whispers in his ear and his eyes widen. He must know your here now.

The pressure is on.

“Where is your boy, tonight? I hope he is a gentleman.”

“Maybe he won’t find out what I know.”

He sounds amazing as ever, you can’t help but smile.

“You were the last good thing about this of town.”

You gasp as he sings with full chest, the last thing he ever said to you before you left Chicago.

Tears brim your eyes, he must think about you too.

The band is in full motion, Patrick’s eyes searching the crowd, you know he is looking for you. Are you ready to face him? After all these years?

You realise shortly you will have to play in front of him, show him what your band is made of.

What about Mikey?

You start the ponder the unresolved feelings, snatched away from you in Chicago. The new blooming feelings in Jersey.

You can’t stop staring at Patrick, the way the stage lights hit his face, all your feelings swarming inside the hive that is your stomach.

“I need another round.” You mumble in Frank’s ear, he grabs you and pushes you up to the bar ordering four more beers, two for you and two for him.

“I don’t know what’s going on, but something is clearly fucking with you.” Frank half smiles, paying for the drinks.

“I fear the truth would break you, my love.” You laugh, feigning a sadness.

“Try me.” He ponders at you, you debate to tell him the situation.

On one hand, Frank would never tell anyone if you told him to stay quiet. On the other hand- ah, screw it.

“I fucked Mikey-“ Frank’s mouth drops open, like you just shot a dog in front of him, “mm not done, babe. My ex is up there and I am for sure still in love with him-“ Frank just stares, wide eyed, “and I’m in love with Mikey.”

“What the fuck.”

“I know-“

“You fucked Mikey?”

“Yeah, last night and-“

“Dude!”

“What!”

“I always thought it would be Gerard.”

“Shut up, you did not.”

“Uh, yeah.”

“He is like a damn brother to me!”

“Yeah, now he is.” Frank snorts, dodging a smack from you as you giggle at him.

“Rude!”

“So what’s the deal with your ex? The band actually play pretty good so, before I praise them on their skills I’d like to know if I should punch anyone or not?”

“I haven’t spoke. to Patrick for like, three years. I broke my phone when I got to Jersey and it had all my numbers in. Thought he’d be angry and forget about me, turns out, half their set is about me. He might still be angry at me- for thinking I just stopped talking to him. Oh, god, do you think he is here to yell at me?” You hold your temple, stressing out.

“Hey, hey. If he yells at you- you know I’ll- actually you don’t need to know what I’ll do.” He chuckles, giving you a side hug.

“Thanks, Frankie. You’re the best.” He smiles with his tongue between his teeth.

“You know, I’d ask you for more details on Mikey but I think that’s a conversation for later as he is comingrightthiswaybyeeeee!” He rushes out the last few words before sneaking off.

“Hey…” You turn around, Frank already lost to the crowd.

“Hi, Mikes.”

There is a nervous pause.

“You know the band?” He comes right out with it.

“Yeah…the bassist, Pete was my best friend and…yeah I knew them in Chicago- they didn’t even have a name then.” You decide to spare the information about Patrick.

“Cool, so��you and this Pete guy…it wasn’t him who you-“ You cut him off.

“Oh! No, no…Pete is- was just a friend.” You smile forlornly, remembering the friendship of the past. Maybe now you could get back in touch?

“Okay, good. I’m..not much of a fighter.” He laughs and gestures to himself.

“Aw, no, come on. I’m sure you could pull a punch.” You punch his shoulder, so gently, he only moves an inch.

“Let’s hope I never find out.” You look into Mikey’s eyes and feel a certain guilt.

A guilt that you still love Patrick.

A guilt that he doesn’t know anything.

A guilt that you love him.

“Mikey, I-“ You are cut off by a pair of lips on yours.

He pulls you insanely close, cradling your head in his, it’s passionate- more than any other kiss you’ve shared. He pulls away, shocked at himself.

“I am so sorry, you just looked so gorgeous in the light and- I have had a few drinks- I am so sorry.” He apologises, rambling on.

You look up to the stage discreetly, their last song ends and they start to exit the stage, you lose all the members in the crowd.

You panic. He deserves to know the truth.

“Mikey don’t be sorry. It’s not that I don’t want to kiss you- I just-“ You groan, trying to think of a way to explain, “I just want you to be sure of your feelings. I’m not someone that enjoys being fucked around with. Which is why you should know-“

“Y/n.”. A familiar voice behind you makes your stomach drop.

“Know what?” Mikey grabs your hand, pleading with you to tell him what’s wrong.

“I can’t believe it’s you.” You turn around, there he is, sure as day.

“Pat-“ Before you can speak, he pulls you into a hug and suddenly you’re eight years old again- meeting Patrick for the first time.

He smells the same, you feel a tear roll down your cheek, losing it as it falls onto his jacket.

“Your brother told me everything, back home. How your dad had told him you broke your phone and lost all your numbers- and I just knew you never stopped talking to me- I knew it.”

Your brother, being old enough to stay in Chicago, had one phone call with your dad when you moved, you mentioned about a broken phone- the only nice thing he had ever done was replace it. And that was only so he could now where you were at the press of a button- you wouldn’t dare reject his calls.

You missed your brother so much, but he knew you would have called if you could.

He must have told your brother- who told Patrick, who must have told the boys.

Who-

“Nice to meet one of Y/n’s friends from Illinois.” Mikey nods at him, Patrick looks at him confused.

“Friend? Did you not-“ Patrick turns to you, but before you can say anything, Mikey is kidnapped by Gerard and Ray- forcing him to come help them get their instruments.

“You looked like you could use a little help.” Frank whispers in your ear, before motioning that your set is on soon.

“Thank you.” You whisper back.

“What’s going on, Y/n? Did you not tell anyone about us?” Patrick doesn’t seem upset, just confused.

“I did…I promise. I just…I missed you too much to cope at all, I just couldn’t talk about it. I thought I’d never see you again.” You look at him, defeated- overwhelmed by everything all at once.

“I missed you, too. More than anything.” He grabs your hand, your heart flutters. You look a little different to how he remembers you, well, you are a lot different now. He still thinks you are drop dead gorgeous, more so even.

“I um, I gotta go prepare for my band to play. But here-“ You grab the pen hanging out of his jacket top pocket before scribbling your new number on his hand, “If we don’t get a chance, we will talk soon?” You smile.

“Yeah, yeah, of course, we are here for a couple weeks- Joe’s visiting his aunt a couple of towns over, so- I’ll be here. Wait- you’re My Chemical Romance?” His eyes shine, he’s never seen you play like you do now, you can’t wait.

“You know what- seems like I am.” You giggle before downing your beer and waving goodbye, running to the van parked out back to get your sticks, opting to use the house drums already on stage.

Your heart hangs heavy with all of tonight.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

“And now welcome to the stage- a favourite here at Puzzles, you know them, you love them. They got a new album out in a couple of months- it’s My Chemical Romance!” Marshall, the announcer for most nights, gives you a high five as you all step out. You had decided to play a a few songs from your only album- I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love.

Of course the new one was in the making, and how things were looking seems you would be the drummer indefinitely. You often helped with the writing process, giving you a deep understanding to each lyric and beat.

Gerard amps up the crowd and you try to spot the boys in the audience, you do, you can see them by the bar.

Pete noticed you looking and gave you a wave, nudging Patrick, who gave you a shy wave too. Andy gives you a thumbs up, and Joe just smiles, nodding over.

“We decided tonight, we’re gonna start with a little something called Headfirst for Halos-“ Gerard motions over to me and I start my cue.

“1, 2, 3-“ You blur into the microphone next to you and as soon as your sticks hit the set- you know this is gonna be a good show.

Every song makes you sweat even more, your swinging your hair around, trying to keep it from sticking to your forehead. Frank’s nearly hit Mikey in the head five times and has already licked Gerard, Ray is stood- grounded- head banging like usual and definitely with more grace than you.

You guys finish off with the song that meant the most to you, Demolition Lovers. Having wrote a lot of the lyrics about Mikey- you felt a special connection to this one specifically- it was the band’s lovechild which basically gave you all (mostly Gee) the idea of the next album.

As Gerard sings, you can’t help but find Mikey with your eyes, he usually stand on his side of the stage, moving a klmetre or two but this time- he walks closer. He’s now playing at you- putting his heart into his bass

“I’m trying, I’m trying.”

“To let you know how much you mean”

“As days fade and nights grow”

“And we grow cold”

You start the cry a little, the lyrics you wrote, you feel it in your soul.

The song ends and you can’t do anything but sit there, the hot lights shining down on you.

“Our CD’s are behind the bar as usual if anyone would like one, we have been My Chemical Romance, thank you so much!” Gerard screams down the mic, you look at Mikey, he offers out his hand.

You take it, letting him pull you off stage with the guys, as you walk out the bitter cold air is pleasure against your skin- hot like metal.

Everyone starts putting their equipment back into the van.

“Cigarette?” Frank quips, having his own today he offers out the box.

“Deadly.” You breathe, taking one out, using Frank’s cigarette to light it as you forgot your bag at home.

“How about you just…be our drummer? You’re already the best out there, you never let us down. I know you don’t like spotlight and all but you write songs the way we do and we need you-“

“I’ll do it.” You laugh.

“Really?” Frank’s hopeful eyes shining at you, they had asked a few times with you always declining.

“Yeah, I’ll do it.”

“Guys! She’s in!” Frank screams, all of a sudden you are surrounded by sweaty, stinking males putting their paws all over you as they hug you.

“Finally!” Gerard kisses your forehead.

You just hope your whole boy situation doesn’t break up the band.

“You need me, what can I say?” You pretend to play it off cool.

What a night you are in for.

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