#michael will be such a cat dad in only a matter of days just wait

[bru1sed-apple]

Fic recs!! :3

Percy jackson

Seven days and seven nights

A warning, a storm, and Will’s world gets flipped upside-down. Day 11: Storming

Finally, where i'm meant to be

Percy huffs as Annabeth attacks his hair with a comb. “I don't get why this is such a big deal to you, it looks fine.” “Of course you wouldn’t understand. You’re a boy,” she says matter of factly. As she finishes combing his hair to within an inch of its life, she forces him onto the edge of the tub, looming over him with her arms akimbo. “Alright Seaweed Brain. Because you’re clearly insistent on ruining your natural curls, I’m staging an intervention.” He doesn’t like the glint in her eye. It’s the same look she gets when she’s about to execute a particularly deadly battle strategy. All he can do is nod. Or: Annabeth shows Percy how to take care of his hair. Fluff ensues.

The healing sun

You are Asclepius. You are 9 and just want to help people. Your father is kind, and warm, and you love him dearly. Or, a look at a relationship hindered by loss but persevering through love. Asclepius and Apollo throughout the ages.

Eclipse

According to the prophecy, Will has to go to on a quest to Tartarus. According to Apollo, that isn’t going to happen, even if it means he has to break the Ancient Laws.

demand nothing less (than transformation)

Dad is quiet for a moment, stroking her hair. Then, with a surge of his usual flamboyant excitement: “At what time is your date?” Kayla blinks. She pulls back a little to look at Dad. He’s still a little blurry from the tears, but she feels much calmer now. “He’s picking me up at six. …Why?” Dad’s eyes—cobalt blue—sparkle. Literally. “We’re going to dress you to the nines.” (or: apollo loves his daughter. he also loves fashion. even better is when the two intersect.)

Bad sons

Hades turned to the demigods that were still kneeling. “I need to speak with Will Solace,” he said to the shocked room, in the tone he could have used to say “I came to ask if one of you could lend me a pen.” “Alone,” the god added after a moment, staring right at Nico. Or, Will and Nico go on the stupidest quest ever. And it’s all Apollo’s fault.

Dawn Rises From the East

During the Battle of Manhattan, Michael Yew fell into the East River; his body was never found. Two years later, a homeless kid known only as Ferret has a chance encounter that changes everything he knows.

Yuri on ice

dismantle. repair.

Viktor is standing across the street waving. Despite himself, Yuuri smiles, even as he realizes his shopping will have to wait. He waves back. There’s a man in a white coat behind Viktor. A stranger, except that he’s standing too close. A fan, maybe, or a sleazier member of the paparazzi. He’s raising his hands, and Yuuri opens his mouth to shout at him to not touch Viktor and then— And then there’s the screech of brakes as the car stops, too late. Viktor’s legs are sticking out at odd angles from underneath it. A sheen is spreading across the asphalt beneath him. Like oil. Like blood.

icebreaker

Yuuri's husband is possibly not as oblivious as he seems, because he grins and asks, "Have you never looked up Yuuri?" "There's a porn actress with the same name who went into politics," says Nate, "so she's most of the results, and some stuff about figure skating." "Some stuff about figure skating," Victor says ruefully to Yuuri.

Love Born in the Eye of the Storm

After a snowstorm cancels their return flight and all the hotels are overbooked, Yuuri decides to detour home to wait it out. He offers to let other stranded skaters stay at Yuu-topia, he just didn't know one of them was Victor Nikiforov.

Glory is two steps away

Yuri Plisetsky and Yuuri Katsuki are about as different as cats and dogs, which is to say they have no reason of ever even being acquaintances. Through a stroke of luck, as well as a couple dozen cat pictures, a tight friendship blossoms instead. On their own each skater stands out just fine, but together they shine, pushing each other past previous limits and onto the golden road of victory. Of course, there is still the living legend to worry about, but he's currently too besotted to lace up his skates, so... Or: The Bathroom Scene™, but it goes a little differently. Just enough to that Yuri has a new friend and Victor stays in Russia, but manages to pine all the same.

It ain't much, it's only everything

Yuuri read the headline - “Top Skater and Model Viktor Nikiforov Finds Soulmate!” Oh.

Avatar the last Airbender

Unpathed Waters, Undreamed Shores

The Water Tribe has kept the secrets of the sea-walkers, a gift of transformation that grants those blessed a tail and the ability to breathe underwater, away from the eyes of the rest of the world forever, and this secrecy has only become more important in light of the seemingly unending war and conquest of the Fire Nation. Sokka, as the last warrior and sea-walker in his village, knows this more than most. So when he finds himself accidentally pulled onto a Fire Nation ship, he chooses to stay aboard as their would-be "captive" rather than reveal the Water Tribe's secrets. But what he couldn't have imagined was that while aboard this ship, he'd form an unlikely bond with the exiled prince of the Fire Nation. This tenuous friendship grows into something considerably stronger the longer this pair navigates the biases created by their upbringings, the constant clash of their two worlds, and their feelings for each other. But there are still secrets and conflicts that can't be erased, and it's up to each of them to decide if they'll choose the worlds they're used to or fight for a new world where they can be together.

Golden hour

Zuko just stopped into the library to pick up a book for his uncle. Naturally, he ends up leaving with four books and a crush on the children's librarian.

Marvel cinematic universe

Persistence hunting

"You need food, Rocket. Worse than me. A hell of a lot worse than me, and I'm worried about you. We have water, neither of us are hurt, but both of us will die eventually if we don't eat. And I can hunt down one of those," he said, pointing off into the distance at a four-legged ungulate of some kind, grazing on the tough grass. "Neither of us have any weapons, genius. You're gonna just run up to it and crack it on the head with a rock?" "No," Peter said. "I'm gonna run it down and slit its throat."

how tony stark won the break-up and became the #1 househusband of NY

Tony Stark accidentally becomes every bored housewife's favourite Avenger.

Criminal minds

Understanding Dr.Reid

Fran, Desiree, and Sarah Morgan meet Spencer Reid, the intricate man who stole Derek's heart. What happened at the Morgan house during Profiler, Profiled. Pre-slash Morgan/Reid.

Psych

Complementary Souls

Everyone has a joke or funny story that only their soulmate will laugh at. No one has ever laughed at Carlton's dead clown story. Until today, that is.

[ragehappy-archived]

WTF THE JONES FAMILY GOT CATS 🥺🥺

LINDSAY WINS!!!!!

[illuminatingnun]

22. 6 2022

A big catch-up post under the cut. First picture is from our capitals main train station (which is shit-ugly expect for this); forest at the border form when a tree fell onto the rails and we were stuck for almost two hours; a bumblebee at dad's plant at home; sourdough foccacia I made earlier this week; and a little reading session in our garden.

Currently reading: The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel - The Alchemist (i.e. book 1) by Michael Scott

Today I am grateful for pleasant coworkers.

Day One: A brief introduction of yourself! Where are you at in life at the start of this challenge? How are you feeling? Are you happy with the way your life is right now? What do you hope to gain from this challenge? They say that starting is the hardest part. Do you find starting this challenge difficult?

Hi! I'm Reshi and I study spanish language and literature. And the start of this challenge I was freshly done with exams and happy to just take things easy and rest a bit. I was, and am, feeling happy and content, overall. I'm pretty content about my life right now - I can study, I can work and do things that I enjoy. Everyone I love is healthy and doing well, so what else can I ask for? While I didn't find starting this hard, I did put it off for a week because I either didn't have the time, content or was simply taking a break from social media.

Day Two: It's pride month! How do you indentify, gender-wise and sexuality-wise, if you're comfortable sharing? Do you do anything for pride?

For me personally, sexuality is very fluid and should only matter to those it directly includes (i.e. partner/s). But I do indentify as bisexual/asexual. For me personally the line between these two is very thin and I use it as a jumping rope. When it comes to gender, I'm a gal I guess? It doesn't matter to me all that much. I wanted to take part of the pride in the city I live in, but couldn't bc of work, so now I just wait and will go to pride to the capital, to visit my friends ❤️

Day Three: Do you have any tips for people sending professional emails or communicating with professors or teachers online? Do you prefer sending emails to people or taking with them in person?

Write down whether they use the formal form or informal - we have a teacher that demands formal way of speaking if we write in Czech, but informal if we use Spanish. Also, double check if you're using the correct title, some of them can be really pedantic about them (shout out to Denis for never using one and texting me like we're friends). Don't be afraid, they are only people. Try to be easy to understand and straight to the point. Write which class you're from, they teach hundreds of students. I think it really depens on who the teacher/professor in question is - some I prefer to write bc I know later I can review that email like a note, but other I prefer to talk to, because they tend to be more understanding that way.

Day Four: List five thing that make you happy.

1. That everyone I love is healthy and happy.

2. Our cats and kittens.

3. Medieval reenactment.

4. Black tea.

5. A good book.

Day Five: Who is your all-time favourite teacher or professor and why?

Hm. From elementary it would be our geography teacher - young, rebellious, fruity, I had a crush on her at that time but also she was a great teacher. From high school it was my spanish lit teacher, also young, rebellious, fruity, had a crush on her. There is a theme as you may see. But in all honesty, I had many great teachers and I still do, but that would be for a whole essay.

Day Six: What have been some things that have changed for you this month? Are they big things, little things? How do you feel about these changes? How do you feel about change in general?

Yes! I have achieved one of my dreams, as in, Dream. I will also be moving out, changing apartments and I can't wait - I love the people I will live with (again, we lived together for some time). I've met my new roommate and he's great! I hope we'll be friends. So far I feel good about these changes - happy even, but that's because I made them, had the time to adjust and had at least some kind of power over them. Otherwise I hate unexpected change to my core.

Day Seven: Share your to-do list for today! Do you often make to-do lists? Do you find they help you?

- work✓

- drug store shopping ✓

- send email✓

I make them every time I need them - sometimes every day, sometimes once a week. I do find them helpful, they make it easier to organise my day/week, if I can see the tasks on paper. They also make sure that I won't forget anything, even if I can't to it that day and have to postpone - it's there, written down and waiting, not forgotten.

[rowyn-writes]

Cinnamon and Sugar

Chapter Three

Warnings: language, fluff, mentions of a toxic relationship, small angst

Characters: Dean, Reader, Benny Lafitte (mentioned only)

Pairings: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Dean let you sit in his car until the rain let up a bit. "God, I hate the rain." He grumbled.

"I love it." You whisper, your eyes wandering the parking lot. "When I was younger, and there was a thunderstorm, me and my siblings would make a fort and huddle underneath it together. We loved it when the power would go out. We would light candles and grab flashlights and play board games in the dark. Sometimes Andrew would read to us. But uh - it would be scary stories," You smiled. "He would scare the ever living crap out of us. Lena and Josh would would cuddle into my side, no matter how much I hated it, they would still do it."

"You really love your siblings." Dean noted, swallowing hard, memories of Sam flooding his head.

"I do." You nodded. "They're all I have. Sure, I have my parents, but it's not the same, you know? Growing up, my siblings and I fought like dogs and cats, but we knew each other better than anyone, even our parents. Even when I go months without seeing them, when we all get together, it's like we're still little kids, ya know? We goof around, we argue, we joke. It's like none of us ever grew up."

Dean stayed silent for a moment, and you weren't sure if your message was getting across. "Look, I know we don't know each other very well, but what I'm trying to say is, call your brother. I don't know what happened between you two, but it's obvious that you love him. You shouldn't waste all your time worrying about whether you should contact him first or if he's angry with you. Time is a precious thing and people often waste it."

"Damn, you're wise." Dean gave a quiet chuckle. "But you're right. I will call him soon, I'm just not ready yet." And with that, the Impala was enveloped in silence again. That is, until Dean's stomach let out a loud rumble. "Sorry," He apologized with a sheepish grin.

"Don't worry about it." You shrugged. "It looks like the rains letting up. Do you want to come inside and I can fix you some food?"

"Oh, I don't want to impose." He shook his head.

"Nonsense. You gave me a ride home, this is the least I can do."

Dean silently debated whether or not he should take you up on the offer, but ultimately agreed, seeing as he was starving. By the time you were under cover, you were both soaked.

As soon as you opened the door to your apartment, you were met with a warm blast of heat. A pleasant shiver ran down your spine.

You began to click your tongue, calling out for your moody cat. "Storm, c'mere buddy." Your cat glared at you stubbornly from his place on the window seal. You rolled your eyes, slipping off your jacket and hanging it over the back of the chair.

"Sorry," You apologized to Dean. "My cat's being a little bitch." The man let out a laugh at your comment. "I gave him a bath and clipped his claws yesterday; now he's pissed at me."

"How in the hell do you cut a cat's nails?" He questioned, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Very carefully." You noticed that Dean was shivering. "Let me grab you a towel. I think I have some of my exes clothes. You're about the same size."

He was going to object when you silenced him with a look. You went to your room and began rummaging around in your draws, eventually finding a pair of black sweat pants and a grey hoodie.

"Try this," You said, handing Dean the clothes. "They should fit. You can change in the bathroom; it's the first door on the right."

While Dean went to change, you did the same. You exited your bedroom dressed in a pair of black leggings and a UK sweatshirt.

You noticed that Dean still wasn't out yet, so you went to start some food. You contemplated on what you should cook before ultimately deciding that mac and cheese would do. It was a comfort food, after all.

It would take a bit longer than usual, since you were making it from scratch, but Dean had said earlier that he had nowhere to be.

"Smells good in here." Dean noted when he walked out of the bathroom. Seeing him in Michael's clothes made your heart stop for a second, and not in a good way.

Dean and Michael had many similarities, the hair color, height, demeanor, etc. And you didn't want to be reminded of that man.

"Thanks," You said nonchalantly. "It's nothing special, but I thought you'd like it."

"So," Dean started, leaning against the counter. "This is a nice little set up you've got here."

"It's not much, but it's home." You shrugged as you stir the pot of noodles. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Storm sneaking around the corner of the kitchen, hoping for some food or a treat.

"How long have you lived here?" Dean asked.

"About five years." You informed him. "Ever since I turned eighteen I've been living on my own."

"How come?"

"You know the thing parents always say? 'As long as you live in my house, you follow my rules'? Well, I didn't like their rules so I got myself this apartment and I've lived here ever since."

Dean snorted. "Yeah, my old man was like that too. I actually did the same thing as you did. 'Cept I came back 'bout a week later." He laughed. "I was too dependent on my dad and brother. I have never lived alone before then; and to be honest, I hate living by myself. I still do."

"You never got roommates?"

"I had a few. There was Mick and Cas. Of course, I can't forget Benny." He grinned. "But they're all gone now."

"Benny?" You mumbled. "As in Benny Lafitte?"

"Yeah, why? You know him?"

"Do I?" You rolled your eyes. "That idiot's my cousin."

"Really?" Dean said excitedly. "I haven't heard from him in ages, how's he doing?"

"He's loving by the coast, and the last I heard, he met some girl named Andrea and he is head over heels in love."

"That's great." Dean smiled. "I really happy for him."

"Yeah, I expect to get an invitation to his wedding so enough. The way he talks about her, you would think he's known her his entire life."

"That's sweet. Benny seems like the guy that falls hard after one date."

"Oh yeah, he definitely is." You giggle. "He calls me after one date and says, 'Y/N, I think I'm in love. If I sent you a picture of a wedding ring, would you look at it and tell me what you think?'"

"No way!" Dean laughed.

"Yes! I had to talk him down from buying an engagement ring! I told him to wait for a year and a half, and then revisit the subject of marriage. Times almost up and he's still fawning over her. But I'm happy for him, he definitely deserves this."

You sprinkled bread crumbs on top of the Mac and cheese before popping it in the oven for a few minutes.

"You put break crumbs on your mac and cheese?" Dean questioned.

"You don't?"

"Never tried it." He shook his head.

"You caveman." You sighed. "I will just have to train you." Dean gave a harmonious laugh, which, in turn, made you laugh as well.

You grabbed a towel and pulled the mac and cheese out of the oven. You scooped some onto a plate and handed it to Dean. Both of you sat down at your small kitchen table and began to dig in.

"Oh my god." Dean said, his mouth full with food. "That is the best mac and cheese I've ever had."

"See? Told you it would be good."

"I'll never doubt you again." He mumbled as he shoveled more into his face.

You ate in a comfortable silence until there was a knock at your door. "I'll be right back." You told Dean as you opened the door.

"Mr. Pierce." You said nervously. "What can I help you with?" You knew what he wanted. And you sure as hell didn't have it.

"You're behind on rent, Y/N. I need the money, or I'll have no choice but to evict you." You felt your heart drop to your stomach.

"I-I don't have it right now. My hours have been cut and I-"

"I'm sorry, Y/N. You're a good girl, but I need someone who will lay rent on time every month. I really hate to do this, but I want you out in two weeks."

"I-It's okay, Mr. Pierce," You assured him shakily. "I understand." And with that, he was gone. You gave a shaky breath as you leaned on the door.

"Y/N?" Dean called, approaching the living room. "What's going on? Are you okay?"

"I will be." You nodded.

"What happened?" Dean questioned gently.

"I just got my eviction notice." You deadpanned. Dean's mouth popped open in shock. "I have to be out in two weeks."

"Crap, sweetheart. I'm sorry. What are you going to do?"

"Couch surf for a while, maybe? I know Jo will let me stay with her for a couple of days, but if her landlord catches me there, he'll throw her out too."

"What about your parents?"

You gave a cold laugh. "No, they'll never let me come home. I would stay with my older brother, but he's overseas right now. So honestly, I don't know what I'm going to do."

Dean stayed silent for a moment before speaking up. "You could come live with me." He suggested.

"Dean, I really appreciate the offer, but I can't impose on you like that."

"It's okay," He assured you. "I have an extra bedroom. And it's not imposing if I'm asking. Besides, like I said before, I hate living on my own."

"Dean, we barely know each other." You tried to reason.

"Hi, my name is Dean Winchester, I'm an Aquarius, I enjoy sunsets, long walks on the beach, and frisky women." You let out a loud laugh. "There, now you know more about me."

"Dean-"

"Just think about it. If you can't find anywhere else to live, my door's always open. I have to go, but here's my number," He said, writing down his phone number on a sticky note. "If you need anything, call me." Dean gave you a small smile before he walked out the door.

You flopped on the couch, staring up at  ceiling. Storm jumped up on your chest, purring loudly. You gently scratched his back. "What should I do, Storm?" You asked. "Would you want to live wYou flopped on the couch, staring up at  ceiling. Storm jumped up on your chest, purring loudly. You gently scratched his back. "What should I do, Storm?" You asked. "Would you want to live with Dean? You seemed to like him." Storm gave a tiny meow, his eyes closing shut. "Real big help there, buddy."ith Dean? You seemed to like him." Storm gave a tiny meow, his eyes closing shut. "Real big help there, buddy."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Tag List:

Cinnamon and Sugar Tags

@vicmc624 @lovememisha @supernatural-jackles @laycblack

Dean Tags:

@akshi8278​

And if anyone else wants to be added to any tag list, let me know!

[gra-sonas]

“Just a couple of Dads catching a buzz”

Inspired by the newest Vlamburn pic and Vlamis’s comment.

~*~

“Do you remember when we used to stay up most of the night for entirely different reasons and needed the caffeine buzz to make it through the next day?”

Alex smiled, and kept pouring coffee into his mug until it almost spilled over. Michael, stranding right next to him, took several greedy gulps from his own mug.

“I do remember. Those were good times,” Alex agreed. His hair was messy and there were dark circles under his eyes, and yet he’d never looked more beautiful to Michael. Alex took a sip from his coffee mug and moaned.

Michael should’ve been way too tired to react, but he did - his cock twitched. Alex’s moan was his cat nip (alien nip?), and even though he felt like he wouldn’t be able to do anything about it right now, he secretly hoped that it would always be like this. He never wanted to stop wanting Alex.

“How is it that I love her so unbelievably much, but at the same time I wish she’d vanish just for a couple of hours so that we could catch up on sleep,” Alex pondered. Even his voice sounded tired.

Michael slung his arm around Alex’s back and pulled him close enough to kiss his cheek. He considered dropping his head on Alex’s shoulder just for a second, but then the baby monitor lit up and they both heard a mewl coming from the loud speaker.

“I love her too, more than life itself, but couldn’t she give us five minutes to get some much needed coffee before she woke up again?” Michael knew his voice sounded whiny, but he couldn’t help himself. Staying up the whole night with a teething baby was no fun.

Alex blinked up at him. “I’ll go, keep drinking your coffee.”

Michael shook his head. “Oh no, darlin’, I’ll go. You look like you’re about to keel over. Please, sit down and drink your coffee, I’ll check on her.”

He pressed a soft kiss into the disheveled mess that was Alex’s hair, put his mug down on the counter and walked over to the nursery. Alex stayed where he was, trying not to sway. How was it possible to be this tired? He hugged his coffee mug closer and allowed himself the luxury of closing his eyes for a moment.

The next thing he knew was someone carefully prying the mug out of his grasp. He blinked his eyes open but his vision was still fuzzy.

“Did you fall asleep in the middle of your kitchen?” He recognized Isobel’s voice but had no idea why she’d be here. He felt her grab his arm and he swayed in her general direction.

“Oh Alex, you are really, really tired.” Alex couldn’t do much more than nod. He shifted his weight to his bad leg and winced. He’d been wearing his prosthetic all night so he’d be able to carry the baby around whenever it was his turn. Going by the pain flaring up in his stump, he’d walked at least a marathon last night.

Isobel’s voice turned resolute. “Okay, time to get some things in order. You, off to the bedroom. Take off the prosthetic and lie down.” She turned around to Michael who carried a wailing baby in his arms. Isobel plucked her from Michael’s arm and within a minute, there was blessed silence in their living room.

“Iz, are you a baby whisperer, what did you do,” Michael asked in awe.

“Doesn’t matter what I did. It worked, didn’t it?” She winked at him.”So here is what we’re going to do. I’ll take Noreen with me for a couple of hours, while you two will get some sleep. We’ll be back in the afternoon and then you can take over again. I’ll bring something for her teeth that helped Eloise through the night when she was her age. And now, off you go, help your husband, Michael. I love you.”

Michael kissed the baby’s head. “Your dads love you so much, sweetheart, please be good. See you in a couple of hours.” He then kissed Isobel on the cheek. “I don’t know how to thank you, Iz, but I couldn’t be more grateful. You’re saving us.”

“I love doing this for you, Michael, you know that. I haven’t had a chance to spend much time with her yet, so this should be nice. I’m glad you texted me last night and asked for my help. Now go, make sure Alex takes the leg off, I think he’s in pain.”

Michael looked worried. “I told him he should take it off but he insisted on wearing it so he could carry her around. I’ll go and take care of him. And then sleep. See you later.”

Isobel took Noreen back to the nursery to get her dressed for their day together, while Michael headed into the kitchen. He prepared the coffee machine and set the timer for 4 in the afternoon. Then he grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge and walked back to his and Alex’s bedroom.

When he entered, the blinds were closed and Alex was perched on the edge of the bed, trying to remove the prosthetic in the dim light of the lamp on his night stand. Michael closed the bedroom door behind him, walked over to their bed and the water bottles floated out of his hands, one landing on Alex’s night stand, one on his own.

Michael kneeled down in front of Alex. “Here, let me help.”

Alex leaned back and let Michael take off the prosthetic. He groaned when it finally came off. Michael put it down next to the bed before he removed the sock. The stump looked red and slightly swollen.

Without thinking, Michael put his hand on it and seconds later, Alex sighed in relief. The sensation of Michael’s healing powers was hot and almost too difficult to endure, but he knew he’d feel so much better afterwards.

When Michael took his hand away after a minute or two, he looked at the stump. “It’s no longer swollen, you should be able to sleep without pain.”

Alex pulled Michael up and into his arms. “Thank you,” he mumbled into Michael’s mouth when he kissed him. When Michael pulled back after a while, Alex murmured angrily. “Only a second, darlin’, let me help you under the covers,” Michael said in a soothing voice.

“Want you with me under the covers,” Alex mumbled.

“Wild horses wouldn’t keep me from joining you, Alex.” Michael walked around the bed and crawled in from the other side. They met in the middle and reached for each other blindly. Michael snuggled up behind Alex and slung his arm around his mid section, his hand sneaking underneath the silky top of Alex’s pajamas.

He rested his splayed hand on Alex’s stomach and felt Alex’s abs pull together underneath his palm. He pressed a soft kiss into Alex’s neck. “I love you, Alex.”

“And I love you, Michael. So much,” Alex mumbled sleepily. Michael was sure he’d already drifted off to sleep when Alex spoke again. “I’m tired to the bone, but I can’t wait to see her again.”

Michael’s heart did a little flip in his chest. “I’m so glad you said that, because I feel the same.”

And with that, they drifted off to sleep.

[votederpycausemufins]

The next chapter is going to be the last chapter. It’ll mostly end on a happy note, though there will be something at the end :3

@petrichormeraki @helleborusangel

Grian was glad to finally finish sorting through all the paperwork, narrowly missing Lynn arriving with another Watcher to discuss his kids. He dragged Grifter along with him and made a portal back to his base, glad that it seemed everything would be calm for a while. Until Grifter screamed.

Grian was sure it was just going to be a chicken left over from Hermit Challenges since those always seemed to appear at the worst times. Maybe someone wearing a chicken head who happened to be around. But instead, there was actually someone standing there. Someone Grian ever so vaguely recognized.

“H-hi there person I haven’t seen before. I’m Grian and that’s Grian and we cloned oursel-” Grifter quickly tried to say, but then freaked out as a chicken appeared next to him.

“Don’t lie. I already know what’s going on. I don’t like it, but you’ll get out mostly scott free. This time.”

“Ha ha ha... “ Grifter weakly laughed, glancing at the chicken to his side. “Hey, so is Mini-”

“Go home before I change my mind Ze.”

“Um, I actually changed it to-” Grifter started to speak before the chicken next to him hissed, making him jump and then make a portal back to helscraft.

Grian looked away from where his copy stood to where Punch was floating. As a Watcher, Grian could feel the death magic radiating off of the man. The man signaled to the chicken which hopped over to him and fluttered its way up to his lap where he pet it like a villain would their cat. “So. Xel I presume?”

After seeing how Punch had responded to Grifter correcting him, Grian just nodded. “Yeah.”

For a moment, the man just stared at Grian before smiling. “Well I’m sure you’re much better than my nephew. It’s a shame that your guide ignored you all those years ago.”

Grian had no clue what was being talked about. “Guide? What guide?”

“Something that could be discussed another time. You have more things to worry about. I’m sure your mother won’t be happy about me sticking around here too long, so I’ll leave you with a gift.” The man looked down to his chicken. “Kokatori, why not stay with Xelqua for a bit?” The chicken clucked once before hopping back down to the ground and standing next to Grian. “If anyone asks, you got it from a guy named Pablo.”

Punch looked like he was about to leave, but then at the last moment to turn back. “Oh, and by the way, I’d check your calendar if I were you. It’s currently May.”

Grian was left puzzled for a few moments as Punch disappeared. May? What did it currently being May have to do with anything. The only thing going on was closer to the end and- Grian pulled his comm out and checked the date. They had been so focused on the mess of the past week that Grian barely registered the days were actually passing. “I NEED TO FIND MUMBO!”

.

.

.

Mumbo watched as Grian was using Watcher magic to multitask. He had explained everything that happened while Grian was gone to him, and the builder was glad to be filled in, but before Mumbo could ask much, Grian pulled out a calendar, his communicator, a book, and also a lead which he put his new chicken on. “Grian, are you doing okay?”

“NO!” Grian stressfully shouted at Mumbo, making him take a step back. Had something happened? Was someone hurt again? Was it the boys? “I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF GRUM CAN EAT CAKE!”

“I’m… sorry what are you talking about?” Mumbo asked, a bit calmer but much more confused.

Grian thrust the calendar into Mumbo’s face. “It’s currently May 21st! We have less than a week to get everything ready!”

“Ready for…?”

“Are you- GRUM’S FIRST BIRTHDAY!”

Mumbo’s eyes widened at Grian answer. “Oh my word! That really is just around the corner, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. I already had some plans in place of course but now it’s basically all out the window since there’s more family and friends involved to invite. Right now the only thing taken care of is presents!”

“Right, and did it get delivered?”

“Of course it did! I hid it in a por- I HID IT IN A PORTAL! THE BOYS COULD ACTUALLY GET THERE NOW!” Grian yelled, freaking out.

“Okay, calm down. It’s going to be fine. If we need to, we can hide it somewhere else. And I’m sure even if we don’t move it, it’s going to be perfectly fine. I doubt either of the boys will manage to get in there.” Mumbo did his best to calm Grian. “I know the boys wanted some people to visit today. Possibly you can get those people to come and we can find time to ask them more about who else the boys might have gotten close to and get a guest list that way.”

Grian was glad to finally finish sorting through all the paperwork, narrowly missing Lynn arriving with another Watcher to discuss his kids

Grian snapped his fingers at the idea before putting almost everything away. “That’s a great idea. Let me message Tommy on the change of plans. You said they wanted Fundy and Michael?”

“And Michael’s parent since he’s young. Parents? I’m not completely sure, I’m sure all those time problems didn’t help.”

“I’m sure they didn’t.” Grian remarked as he finished sending a message. “There. Now I guess we wait for Tommy to respond.” And he didn’t need to wait long as a message arrived. “Okay! He says I can pick them all up, though I might need to search a little for Fundy. But I’m sure he’ll want to visit Iskall at the very least.”

“Oh, that’s right! There’s one thing I forgot to mention.” Mumbo spoke up, making Grian’s head whip in his direction. “It’s maybe a little concerning, but I’m sure it will be fine. It… it just looks like Grum might be skittish around Iskall again. It makes sense after everything that happened of course, but better I remember to tell you now and not let you find out yourself.”

“I guess you’re right about it making sense. It sort of was like he got… void he got brainwashed again.”

“Hey, he managed to do well on his own. Might not be the best way to take after you, but it’s still good he took after your survival skills.”

“Oh ha ha. I don’t have survival skills.” Grian rolled his eyes. “The amount of times I’ve dive bombed or exploded myself. I mean, You know how many times I died testing my minigame mister ‘Watch This’.”

Mumbo chuckled for a moment. “Not one of my finer moments. But I meant about when you were growing up. I know it’s not your favorite time, but you made it through that part of your life. Grum was able to do the same.”

“I wish he didn’t have to. I wish neither of them got stuck there.”

“I’m sure no one did. But they did and got through it, and that’s what matters. So let’s just work on making sure they know everything’s fine now. Go pick up Tommy and the others.”

“Alright. And thanks for the talk Mumbo.”

“Always.”

.

.

.

Jrum was practically bouncing off the walls when he saw Michael. Grum was a bit more reserved, but was also pretty excited. It seemed Michael was a little nervous being in such a new place, but Jrum was quickly at the ziglin’s side to reassure him. To the side, Fundy was currently admiring the marvel that was the spawn area. Since Jrum had gone with their friend, Grum made his way to the hybrid. “Um, hi Fundy.”

“Wh- Oh hey Grum! How’re you doing?”

Grum rubbed his arm. “Better. Thank you for helping me out when everything was happening. You didn’t need to.”

“Of course I did. You’re a kid and what Dream was doing was seriously fucked up.” He got a look from Grum. “Well, okay. Maybe I wouldn’t have normally, but he kept getting me involved and Iskall knew you, so it was kind of different.”

“Well, thank you very much for that.” Grum said, hugging Fundy. “Well, I bet you want to see Iskall’s tree.”

“Oh hell yeah! Where’s the Omega Tree?”

Immediately Jrum was back next to them. “I can take him there! I’ll also see if Iskall is there or can get there soon! You can play with Michael while we’re gone!”

Grum nodded and looked to Michael. “Do you think that your parents will let you follow me through the nether to a place to play? I know a safe path and Dad assured me if something were to happen, you would absolutely safely respawn.”

Michael snorted before running over to Tubbo and Ranboo, interrupting their conversation with Tommy. Grum followed him over to elaborate on whatever he would say, or just translate in general. When they were told of the idea, Ranboo and Tubbo weren’t entirely sure about it, but Tommy put in a good word. “C’mon, Grian and Mumbo let the bots run around on their own all the time. This place is safe, so he’ll be fine.”

“I guess… but only if you two stick to the overworld. The nether might be faster, but it’s also dangerous.” Tubbo relented.

Grum thought it over. They would need to take a boat over to where they were going, and there would be a bit of a trek through the jungle, but there was a path they could take. “Of course! We will do what we can to stay as safe as possible. Now…” Grum pointed to the bubble elevator. “Up the tube!”

Michael followed behind Grum to get to the surface and the bot crafted up a boat for the two of them. As Grum rowed, Michael looked around at everything around them. Though there wasn’t too terribly much in the ocean in the direction they were headed, there were enough large builds that could still be seen to keep Michael in awe.

Eventually they landed and Grum led them through the jungle. “The best place to play is in Uncle Scar’s village. It's got plenty of buildings to work with and the style is perfect for games! And then nearbyish is Larry the snail and the magic arrow.”

Michael oinked a quick question and Grum elaborated as they walked. When they finally reached the village, Michael quickly ran into it and started exploring, Grum quickly following behind the ziglin. Though the buildings themselves were interesting, Michael decided the best thing were the small mushrooms that had built along the path.

“Yeah! My Daddy really likes those too. He also found a haunted bed when he owned the place for a bit. I wonder if it’s still haunted. Ooo!” Michael pretended to be scared before laughing, and then the two went off to play in the village together.

Back at spawn, Tommy was still chatting with Tubbo and Ranboo when Grian arrived. “Hey, have you guys seen my boys?”

“Yeah, Jrum took Fundy to Iskall’s and Grum went with Michael to play.” Tommy answered. “Why, is something wrong?”

“No, I was actually making sure they weren’t around.” Grian looked to Ranboo and Tubbo. “Are you two willing to come back with Michael in like five days? It’s going to be Grum’s birthday and maybe Michael can be one of the guests?”

“Oh hell yeah, you two need to come. It’ll be so pog!” Tommy said, hoping they would agree to visiting again.

“I guess we probably can, but it’ll also depend on how today goes.” Ranboo answered, Tubbo agreeing with him.

“Okay good.” Grian nodded, writing something down. He then looked over to Ranboo. “Do you have any idea some of the people the boys were close to when they were stuck over there?”

“Sometimes I barely remember my name.”

“Hmm, alright I guess I’ll have to ask Fundy.”

“Hey, I do know one thing.” Tommy piped up. “Or maybe two. Wil’s also a big music lover, so there might be something there. The other bit you probably aren’t going to like though.”

“I’m sure I’ll be fine. What is it?”

“Pretty sure Grum’s favorite uncle is Techno now.”

Grian was just silent as he contemplated the answer. Tommy nervously glanced at his friends before taking a slight step back, worried about how exactly Grian would react. When the avian’s wings started puffing up, Tommy was sure they would need to run, but instead Grian just took a deep breath. “Alright. Fine. I was already planning to invite him since he’s family and all. Yep. It’s fine. Totally fine.”

“It doesn’t sound fine.” Tubbo spoke up, and Grian quickly looked at them with a glare, though he was still smiling.

“Nope. It’s absolutely completely fine.” Then Grian sighed. “Well, I guess I’m going to find Fundy and ask him some questions. If you think of anything else, just message me.”

Tommy agreed before the avian flew off and then looked to his friends. “Alright, so this is probably the best excuse to show you around the shopping district since I’m going to need to pick something up. And if you guys want to buy something, just say the word, I can spare some diamonds.”

“Are you sure? We could get our own-” Ranboo started to speak up, but got stopped by Tommy.

“Nah, don’t worry. I’ll probably earn back whatever I spend in like a week. Probably from one of the redstoners.” Then Tommy led them to the bubble column. “Now let’s go. Oh, and Ranboo, if you need some armor to help with the water, just grab one from one of the stands. That’s what they’re there for.”

“You mean… the full netherite armor?”

“Yep.”

“Something tells me even I won’t have trouble forgetting all of this.”

[theyreonlynoodlesmike]

The thing that will always bother me is that if the Lost Boys had maybe been thirty minutes longer and had included maybe just one (1) more female character, it could've been a perfect tie-in to Joel's idea about a Lost Girls movie. Aka this is how I would've written the Lost Boys and the Lost Girls.

Fucking think about it. This is the set up:

In the first movie, her reveal was a surprise just like Max's, as due to the Frogs either brushing her off and/or them counting her as safe when Max is deemed safe.

She could have a budding friendship with Sam, similar to the boys and Michael, and could've meant to act as the one that would indoctrine Sam. Because of this, they think she's being manipulated by the boys/is the next to be turned into a half. This means we also get a couple of scenes that are just her and Sam, and perhaps she shows him a hideout of her own at the other end of the cliffs.

I also think it would be really cool if they used her character like a spy, and she has a scene where she very subtly digs to see what Michael really thinks of the boys/Star and to see how much Sam and the Frogs know

She could also be used to stress how Max treats the boys like shit via Max treating her better than them but also giving an explanation as to why he may hate them (he's a traditional man and he doesn't want those boys around his daughter (this is pre-realization that Max is a dad to all of them)). Also, Max could stress how important it is for a girl to have a mother, and maybe we can get a couple of small, cute scenes between her and Lucy (and freaking pass the bechtel test)

The Frogs and Sam are so excited to tell her that she's free when she, Max, and Lucy arrive at the house. They're practically bouncing and they see that she looks absolutely horrified- but the Frogs make a comment about how perhaps such a grisly sight may be too much "for a girl" to try to explain it away.

Max comes back into the room, and before going on his "my boys misbehaved" speech he tells her to go upstairs, and to take Laddie with her- i.e. the first clue that perhaps Max wasn't what they thought

The fight goes as normal- but the endings lengthened and when Laddie says "Star!" It's replaced by an opposite reaction of Star fearfully realizing that Laddie is still upstairs- and with her.

They all run upstairs, finding her holding Laddie like a shield. She's been crying, and she still is as she tells all of them to back away- and also reveals her vampire face. We can have some tearful dialogue about how they killed her family, how she saw Dwayne's jaguar, can smell Paul all over the bathroom, etc. She tries to manipulate Sam one last time when the Frogs threaten her and it's along the lines of, "C'mon, Sam. We're friends. We were going to be family." And she bolts out the window the second Sam softens.

Sam knows where she's heading, and they find her at her spot on top of the cliffs. But when they get there she doesn't seem as willing to fight as before. This is when the Lucy scenes pay off, and Lucy insists to talk to her before they do anything "irrational". She sobs to Lucy about how they took everyone away from her, about how her biggest fear was always being alone, and how, even though she knew it was wrong, she was excited to have a mother like Lucy- and brothers like Michael and Sam. The Frogs at one point make a comment about how she'll see her entire family in hell, and instead of reacting with anger it shows her smiling at the thought. She then says that she just wants to "see her boys" and that she plans on staying at the cliffs until sunrise. While the Frogs don't buy it, Lucy insists that they leave her be. Grandpa is wary, as he's lived in Santa Carla for a long time, and the two of them share a long look. When Grandpa finally decides to back off, claiming "let's not make her change her mind", it's set that they're going to let her go out how she'd like to go out.

Grandpa still gets to say his iconic like at the end, but it's while driving the car back to the house.

It's revealed in an after-credit scene that the female vamp proceeded to wipe her eyes and shake her head the second they had driven away- revealing that everything had been an act. It ends with her lighting a cigarette and claiming that she "better find shelter" before laughing

Now, for the pay off:

The second movie takes place in a different town, a few years later. It starts with the Frogs and new face, and it shows them hunting what we can only assume to be vampires. The new face dies, and, after the vampire escapes, we see them call another familiar face- Sam Emerson. In the call, it's revealed who they've been hunting and who has been playing cat and mouse with them- the female vamp from the first movie. The Frogs practically beg Sam to come help them, as he's the only one that really knows what she's like (and who's the best with a bow). The movie truly kicks off when Sam decides to help them, and, to the Frogs surprise, brings Michael as well. But he swears that he isn't here to fight- just to make sure Sam doesn't get himself killed

The second movie shows the Awesome Monster Bashers- in their early twenties, fully human, and tighter than ever. It's revealed that the Emerson's moved away again, but that the Frogs and Sam never stopped being friends. Michael and Sam both went into hunting, and we're apprentices under their grandpa. However, both of them recently retired when Star decided she wanted to settle down, and because Lucy asked them to.

It takes place in a new seaside beach town higher up the coast, this one with an avid music scene. The Frogs fill Sam in on the female vamps course over the past couple of years, declaring that she seems to be sticking to the coast, but that it's nearly impossible to predict where she'll pop up until she's about to move again.

The Frogs also remark that no matter the opportunity, she never kills either one of them. She'll injure them or kill one of their partners, sure, but she never goes after them. And, it seems that she didn't stay by herself for long

We then meet the Lost Girls, a group of five grunge-punk rockers to fit the 90s aesthetic. With the female vamp from the first movie leading them. We see that this group of girls seem to busy themselves by terrorizing the locals and playing underground shows where they can- explaining why they seem to pop up out of nowhere. Because of this, the audience still gets some killer soundtrack bops, this time played by the vampires themselves.

We watch the girls try to bring in a new girl, and we watch a similar cycle as to what happened to Michael- instead though, the female vamp tells her upfront what they are. Only, she just thinks this is their gimmick since they're musicians and drinks from the bottle anyways.

She goes through her transformation with her own version of hazing, Michael and Sam try to help the girl, the girl tells them when their next show is- yadda yadda. The three monster bashers plus Michael show up to the show and there's a mini-battle that takes place. It's revealed that the female vamp has been waiting for Sam- and, more importantly, Michael. She explains that she couldn't have gotten Sam to come to her without the Frogs, and that she never could've gotten Michael without Sam.

Finally, for the big reveal, we go with the original ending for David who- like Joel planned- is not dead! He instead fills the role Max had in the first movie and has become the head vampire, with the female vamp now acting as the decoy head vamp that David was in the first film. Similarly to Max, David reveals that he just wanted Michael all along and also reveals that the two of them have been obsessing over either finishing what Max planned or getting revenge for the past couple of years. The female vamp/her remaining girls go after the monster bashers and the half-vamp girl while David and Michael fight yet again- this time as a retired hunter vs a vampire.

Because this is a lost boys sequel, the vampires lose. Michael stakes David, returning the half-vamp girl back to normal, and he makes a point of bringing up how he's "going to do it right this time".

Once again, when the female vamp realizes that the Frogs/Emerson's are getting the upper-hand, she attempts to flee after managing to severely injure one of the Frogs. However, we get poetic justice when she pulls back the curtains covering the windows of the venue and we see that it is day-time outside. She dies via sunlight exposure aka how she said she would die in the first movie.

The movie ends with the previous half-vamp girl asking them if they do this often. As they leave the venue, the boys give various answers which basically tally up to "oh, all the time". Sam then makes a callback to grandpa's signature line stating, "One thing I could never stand about being a hunter-" which all of the boys finish the line with "all the damn vampires." All the boys laugh and the new girl asks, "Is this an inside joke or something?" And then bam- roll credits.

[deniigi]

@pomegranate-belle and @puffins-studio have kindly convinced me to share with you all this little bit.

It’s of Electric Sheep but if Android Matt had a Mike who’s been looking for him since they were separated as youths (right before Matt started to become an android)

Title: Seventeen years

Summary: bounty hunter Mike has been taking jobs in nyc, searching for his lost twin. A chance encounter with a blonde woman who steals his heart helps him find him.

---------------

Seventeen years, ten months, 18 days.

Mike had lived out of the city longer than in it. Rochester was as close as he’d gotten in foster care, but work had dragged him through occasionally, and frankly he was grateful for it.

He’d told himself seventeen years ago that he’d get back.

So here he was, reflecting on life outside the cell of a guy screaming bloody murder.

Dude was a bot-trafficker.

The shit made some serious dough, Mike had seen it himself. But you know what else made some serious dough? Bounty hunting. I.e. Catching the people who got pissed off about other people makin’ some serious dough.

These days, they were all bot-traffickers. Mike could barely remember a time when he was chasing jewel thieves and counterfeiters down alleys anymore. It was all bot-this and bot-that—which, to be fair, was kind of the same thing as a jewel thief.

Property was where the real money was at. And bots? Hoo boy, the best kind could cost a penthouse.

Mike thought it was good for them that they had no idea how much they were worth. He found it kinda sweet if he was honest. This screamin’ bot dude’s collection of androids were all tucked up against each other in the other room, performing ‘maintenance’ on each other like a pile of cats. They were community-minded, bless ‘em. It made Mike smile a little bit.

Of course, so did the paycheck.

Yeah, the paycheck helped, too.

 --

 He got a job for the city. He took it without asking too many questions.

It didn’t matter how much city jobs paid, Mike always went ready for a double-shift there.

The last time he’d seen Matt had been when their social workers had untangled their hands at St. Agnes. Both of them had been wailing like toddlers, like they had been in front of Dad’s casket.

Up until that point, everyone had assured them that they’d be kept together—that no one was going to try to separate them. They were twins. People would understand that you couldn’t just take the one and leave the other. They had an unbreakable and psychic bond, clearly.

But then one day the social worker hadn’t answered Matt’s question when he’d asked about it again, seeking reassurance.

Mike’s stomach had dropped then. And sure enough, the next thing they knew, people were throwing around words like ‘specialty care’ and ‘high-risk’ and ‘better in the long-run.’

Mike had gone to a foster home screaming and fighting in the back of a sedan. Matty stayed behind, allegedly to be placed in some kind of group home with more ‘supportive’ care.

That was seventeen years ago--almost eighteen years ago.

Mike only knew what Matt looked like these days because he shaved every morning in the bathroom mirror. But, he told himself, not for much longer.

He hadn’t become a bounty hunter for the looks. He’d done it for the money and the job experience. Could he track a criminal? Hell yeah. He’d been one. He knew how they thought. More importantly: could he track a brother?

He could, actually. He was a Murdock; he knew how they thought.

 --

 The job in the city was whatever. Took half an hour and a big smile to corner the gal like a rat. She went to the highest bidder; Mike went back out on the prowl.

Chances were that Matt would be drawn to Hell’s Kitchen. And chances were that he would be searching for Mike as Mike was for him. He was an idealist like that. Like Mike.

Awwww. Old habits die hard.

 --

 Hell’s Kitchen had changed over the years, but it still felt like home when Mike put a foot in the boundaries. He knew these stoops and all these torn posters. He knew that skyline and that raggedy flag pole.

The names on the businesses changed—some got new lights, some got new windows, but all in all, the feel was still there.

 --

 He set out to find Matt in the old, old haunts. Stopped by the church. The old kids’ home. They still hadn’t seen him, no, Mike. Sorry, my son.

He took a waltz down memory lane by the docks.

He found the greasiest looking coffee shop he could and sat at a sticky table, people-watching through the huge half-wall windows for about an hour.

Nothin’ yet.

His coffee was cold when he left.

  --

He ran into a girl at a bar that night under green and red neon lights. They danced close. She told him he reminded her of someone she knew, and Mike thought that that was just a lovely coincidence, sugar, wasn’t it?

He invited her to his hotel room. She accepted.

He woke up to waves of amber grain strewn across this pillow, sticking to his lips, and the smell of something powdery and floral in the endless line of this lady’s neck.

God, she was like a swan. Mike ought to buy her breakfast.

He did because he was a gentleman. He left to go grab a sandwich from the bodega outside but came back to find the bed and the room empty. There was a little note on the pad next to the bed that said ‘thanks, handsome’ with a smile face next to it and a number.

He eased himself down on to the bed and stuffed a sandwich in his mouth to grin around.

  --

Her name was Karen.

It wasn’t their last night. Mike saw her when she was in the city and they had a well-worn routine after a few months.

Every time, a new bar, a new club, a new drink. But the same dance and then the same chase and collapse.

She told him nothing about herself, and he loved that about her. She passed fingers through his hair. She trailed them across his jaw, bristly stubble or no.

And then the next morning, she was gone, and Mike was sighin’ like a blue bird in spring.

 --

 Valentine’s Day found Mike in the city. He didn’t delude himself with thinking that Karen was available—he wasn’t that full of it.

But he did think that even a lady as lovely and possibly taken as Karen deserved a bouquet of flowers from a ‘friend.’ So he took a meander down to a wholesaler and chatted up one of the makers until a collection of spring tulips graced by baby’s breath found their way into his hands.

Karen, he suspected, worked somewhere in an office. Her ever-present, practical pencil skirt said so, and the way that she frequented Josie’s told him that she lived in the area around 9th and 52nd.

It wasn’t hard to snoop. It wasn’t hard to trawl through the local business websites in that area, peeking at staff pages until low and behold, the golden grail herself appeared smiling on try number 7.

He smiled back at her photo and went back to get the name of the place and the address only to pause in his tracks.

Nelson & Murdock.

Karen worked at a law firm called Nelson & Murdock.

Huh.

Well. Good for that Murdock. Mike hoped he was out when he brought these flowers in.

 --

 The firm was dinky and crammed up two flights of stairs across from an orthodontist’s office. Mike pitied Karen for having to spend her days watching droves of traumatized middle schoolers leave that place with wires crammed in their faces. The flowers even looked like they were wilting in the hallway.

Mike gave them a pep talk on his way to the door.

He knocked but no one answered, so he turned the knob and a handful of people where sat looking nervous in the waiting area. The front desk was empty. Abandoned.

Oh, Karen.

Ever at work like you are at play.

Mike made his way over the desk and caught sight of a familiar fluffy little ball on a keychain at the edge of the desk.

It was adorable.

He found a scrap of paper by the phone, reached over and snagged it and a pen to leave a little love note when he felt a tug at his elbow.

He forced down the irritation and turned back with a smile. An older lady with huge bifocals squinted at him.

“Mr. Murdock,” she said. “I’ve got to go move my car. Don’t you give up my place, you hear?”

Mike forced himself to hold his smile.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I think you’ve got the wrong guy, madam.”

Murdock must have looked smooth as hell for Mike to have been mistaken for him.

The lady squinted left, right, and center, then scoffed and pinched his arm.

“Cheeky boy,” she said. “I’ll be right back.”

She left.

Mike’s brain short-circuited for another few seconds before declaring that whole situation unresolvable, bizarre, and emphatically not his problem. Sorry Nana. Go to the back of the line like everyone else.

He went back to writing his card.

“Matt?”

He didn’t mean to look up. It was a reflex, man. It came with the twin-territory, and this time it brought a moment of panic as Karen’s brow dropped stormily and her fists found her hips.

“Where the hell have you been? We’ve been calling you all morning?” she demanded.

Mike’s palms started sweating.

Did Karen? Not? Recognize him?

Had he misread this whole love affair? Or maybe it was the daylight that was confusing her?

It had to be the daylight, right?

“Matt,” Karen said, irate as could be in that pretty blue and white top. “Don’t just stand there. Say something.”

Ahahahahahaha.

Too close. Too much.

“MATT.”

Out we go, back to the hovel from which we came.

  ---

He breathed out hard in the street below and turned back to look up at the window of Nelson & Murdock. It was flung open and he didn’t give Karen the opportunity to get her nose out of it. He hurried off into the crowd, ducking and squirming until he was sure that he was good and gone from sight.

Then he found an alley to clutch at his heart in.

It had been years since someone had called him Matt. Sometimes he took the name on as a false one, when working for especially shitty shit-heads. But Karen??

Mike was positive he’d introduced himself as Mike. ‘Michael’ but more like Costello than Abbott, he’d said. Karen had laughed.

What the fuck, man? What the fuck?

He looked at the flowers in his hand.

A waste.

Hhhng. Alright, well. There was for sure to be someone needing cheering up at a bar somewhere. Might as well spare them for the Singles Awareness Gigs sure to be happening soon.

  ---

He ended up at Josie’s because he always ended up at Josie’s, but this time with barely anyone in the place at 3pm on Valentine’s Day, she actually noticed him and gave him an eyebrow. He chose to ignore it in order to wallow in self-pity and raised his glass to his lips.

It didn’t make it.

He stared in stunned silence at the hand suddenly covering his glass.

“I don’t think that’s a wise idea, pal,” Josie said.

Mike gaped at her in shock.

“I? Paid for this?” he said.

There was a long moment of awkward silence.

“Jesus, I’m so sorry,” Josie said. “My bad. I thought you were someone else.”

Someone else?

Someone—

WAIT.

“Someone else? Does someone who looks like me come here?” Mike blurted out with zero grace before he could stop himself. “Does he—do you know his name? Is he—does he—”

Josie frowned hard at him.

“You’re not Matt,” she said after a long moment. “I always thought you were Matt.”

Matt!!

Matty!! MATT. You little shit. You perfect, darling, little shit. Out here, comin’ to Josie’s like a chump—possible alcoholic Matt!

Okay, wait, roll that one back—one problem at a time.

“He’s my brother. I’ve been looking for him for eighteen years, we were separated in foster care—do you know where he lives?” Mike asked with no filter to be seen for miles.

Was it professional of him?

No.

But were hugs at airports ever professional? Exactly. Get off his case.

He beamed wide at Josie, but her face did not reciprocate the gesture. Actually, it seemed to be doing the opposite and that made this little squirming feeling start up in Mike’s gut.

“Christ,” Josie said. “I’m so sorry, man.”

Wh-what?

“You’re gonna need a double.”

What did that mean?

“Take this.”

No. No, what did that mean?

“Take the shot, kid. Trust me. You’re gonna need it.”

  ---

No.

Just.

No. No, no, no, no, no.

Josie rubbed her fingernails against her cheek and sighed.

“His owner brings him along,” she said. “Lets him work at their law firm with him—he’s made the papers, sure, but you know. It’s all kind of colored by the fact that he can’t really do shit without permission.”

Mike rolled the tumbler in his hand around.

Nelson, eh? So called ‘owner’ of the android called Matthew Michael Murdock.

Ahahahaha.

Get ready to die, motherfucker.

“But he tries to drink—Matt does,” Mike felt himself say.

Josie didn’t want to look at him.

“Sometimes, it’s like he forgets he’s a droid,” she said. “Usually, he’s got someone with him to keep him out of trouble.”

Fuck.

Fuck.

“I’m sorry, Mike,” Josie said. “It’s a load of bull.”

FUCK.

He set the tumbler down.

“How much do I owe you?” he asked.

“It’s on the house,” Josie said. “Best of luck.”

Yeah.

Thanks.

  ---

Matty was—

Matty was—

Mike made it back to his hotel room before sinking to his knees by the bed. God had never heeded his prayers before, but things were different now.

Matty couldn’t pray for the both of them anymore. He was—He was--

Mike had to—

God, please.

Please. Give him back. What once was lost had to be found.

What once was lost, God.

Mike had lost him.

He’d lost him forever.

Give him back.

 ---

 He typed Matt’s name into the search engine on his phone and made it through one whole article before he was kneeling before a much harder, much more porcelain altar.

He tried again in the bathroom this time, sat on the floor with his back against the tub.

The bot that someone had made out of Matty looked so sweet. Like Mike, but softer in the cheeks. Younger. Forever 22 or something close to it.

He was still blind, despite all his other modifications and he was a little famous in the field of robotics. Not that the bot appeared to care. The articles claimed that the bot had recovered and retained memories prior to what they kept calling his ‘transition.’

What they meant was when he’d been transformed into a human weapon. An inhuman weapon.

Matty, I’m so sorry.

 ---

 There was only so much self-pity a man could wallow in before his ass started to fall asleep. But more than that, Mike was a Murdock. The tingling in his limbs was lost to the ever-increasing roar of fire in his ears.

That bastard. That bastard lawyer.

Taking Matt after everything he’d been through and turning him into some prop to be used as a showpiece in a grand legal theatre.

Fuck no. Fuck that.

Mike wasn’t fucking this up twice.

 ---

 Nelson & Murdock was closed by the time Mike once again found himself outside its doors. He stared at the sign’s heavy black letters and gave in to the devil raging, hot, underneath the skin of his chest.

He left the shattered doorglass on the ground as he made his way to the opposite stairwell.

 ---

 Karen.

  ---

She lived nearby 9th and 52nd. She was probably going home to her handsome hubby, who’d shower her in chocolate and wine and flowers. But on the way, she’d make a stop. She was a working gal. She wouldn’t have had time to pick up a gift in return before her shift started.

Mike found her at Walgreens, talking on the phone to someone while she petted every teddy bear on the rack in front of her.

He didn’t feel sorry.

She didn’t scream when his hand found her face. He didn’t give her the chance.

  ---

He ditched the hat in the back storeroom of Walgreens and took Karen right through to the loading dock. She thrashed hard.

Mike could barely feel the movement. He was on the lookout for eyes.

An elbow found his ribs and a foot his toes before he got them far enough from view that he could let her go to readjust his grip, and when he did, he got her against a wall, panting.

This lady was tough. But in a flash, she mouth dropped open and her wrists went limp in his grip.

“Mike?” she asked after a second. “Is that you? What are you doing here? Why are you—”

“Where. Is. My brother?” Mike cut her off.

Karen recoiled until her head hit the bricks behind her.

“Your—”

“My brother Matthew,” Mike snapped.

The rush of traffic settled into the silence.

“Oh my god,” Karen whispered. “He’s your brother?”

“Yes. He is, as a matter of fact, and whatever you think you’re doing to him, I will do to you and that fucking lawyer ten times worse,” Mike said. “So you’re going to help me or I’m going to—”

“I knew I knew you.”

He felt himself go stiff.

“Matt talks like you,” Karen said softly. “Just like you.”

Wh—he did?

Karen’s fingers brushed the tops of Mike’s hands. They were cold.

“Mike,” she whispered, sounding for all the world like she was on the verge of tears, “He’s going to be so happy to see you.”

Wh—she’d—she’d take him to Matt?

“Of course,” Karen said. “He’s one of my best friends.”

They were friends? How were they friends? Was this a sick joke?

“No. It’s not. I met him years ago it’s just—I didn’t realize you were—okay, there’s just one problem,” Karen said.

 ---

 Uh?

“Sensory input! Greater than! Processing—PROCESSING—processing—”

“Matty,” Franklin Nelson said with both of his hands out in front of him. “I see that we are very excited.”

“SENSORY INPUT—”

“And I love your enthusiasm, and I know you love your enthusiasm,” Nelson continued. “But if you don’t settle down the tiniest fraction of an inch, you’re going to blow a fuse and—”

“SEN—sen-S-S-SEN—”

Uh?

“This is excited,” Karen explained while Nelson wrestled Matt into sitting for the second time since Mike had arrived at the door.

This was excited?

“He’s normally much more in tune with himself,” Karen said. “But I think you’ve jumpstarted some shit that even his additional processing power isn’t enough for.”

Additional what now?

“It’s a long story,” Karen said over the saddest sound that Mike had ever heard.

They both looked over to where Nelson had successfully gotten Matt back to sitting and was now coaching him through whatever the bot-equivalent of breathing exercises were.

“How long?” Mike asked.

Karen’s blue eyes pitied him.

 ---

 Okay, okay, okay. So. Nelson? Not a threat. Definitely a boon.

Matty?

Hng.

Heavy.

“I’ve literally never seen him this excited,” Nelson said. “And I’ve known him for seven years.”

No shit?

“No shit, we met at Columbia,” Nelson sighed. “I’m sorry about this.”

It was fine. Mike deserved this. Probably.

Jesus, what the fuck had they replaced Matt’s muscle’s with? How was he this warm and this heavy and not human all at the same time.

He’d seemed to have decided that Mike needed a full-body hug and while the first ten seconds had been cry-worthy, the last minute or so was getting a little suffocating.

“Matt, let him go,” Nelson pleaded. “He can’t breathe, bud. He’s gotta breathe, he’s not like you—”

“Subject: Mike. Michael Murdock,” Matt said brightly, scrambling off Mike out of no-fucking-where and getting way too far into Nelson’s face.

“Mike, yeah, you said,” Nelson said.

“Mike. Born October 21—”

“I get it. He’s your twin.”

“—at Metropolitan General Hospital at 11:32pm—”

“Matt,  you’re info-dumping friend, we don’t need this. We believe you. Don’t give me his social. Don’t—”

“—Social Security number 6—”

“MATT. End request. End search term. Exit page.”

Uh?

“He did this with the DA last week when he got too riled up,” Karen said sympathetically. “We have no clue where he finds it or better yet, where he even stores it.”

“—my brother, FOGGY.”

“Yeah, I fuckin’ see it, man. It’s before mine very own eyes. Y’all are identical. It’s weird.”

“I missed him.”

“Tell that to him then. Stop touching me, ew. No. Go douse him with your weird fuckin’ eye fluid—atta boy, good job—NO. NO CLIMBING.”

Mike…was not prepared for the care and keeping of Bot-Matt. He had to admit that now. All those plans of snatching Matt out of the hands of these evil, evil people were breaking up into little fragments of puzzle pieces and he’d never felt more like shit because god.

He was supposed to look after his brother, wasn’t he?

Wasn’t he?

“I’m so sorry about this,” Franklin Nelson said with Matt leaning almost completely out of his grip and making that horrible sad noise again. “But I think I’m gonna need to cool him down a bit.”

 ---

 Mike couldn’t stop rubbing at his face.

Matt was sprawled out across Nelson’s bed like he was sleeping in the sunlight. The wires plugged into the back of his neck slipped off the edge of the bed and led all the way to a laptop that was just about sweating with how hard it was working.

From the side, it looked like he was human. Absolutely, unequivocally human.

Younger than Mike now, though. Permanently halted at 24 years old. No wonder Karen hadn’t recognized Mike early on. Matty’s jaw was still slim where Mike’s had hardened square like Dad’s. The only facial hair he had was in his eyebrows and eyelashes—there was no reason to add stubble to a bot. It was just more maintenance. Just another aesthetic modification.

“I’m sorry, Mike.”

Mike turned to Nelson.

He didn’t look or talk like a single one of the bot traffickers than Mike had dragged in from the cold—and he’d done the full range of them, from the cackling madhatters to the cooing, babytalkers to the silent so-called geniuses. Nelson exhibited only exasperation.

The story that Karen told about his and her early encounters with Matt made it seem like Nelson honestly considered Matt to be human, like him. Like all of them.

“You helped him,” Mike said quietly.

“If I’d have known that he had you, then I would have helped him find you sooner,” Nelson said. “But I thought he was on his own. He never mentioned anyone else. I should have asked.”

No. No, that was—That was okay, somehow.

“We got separated a lifetime ago,” Mike said. “People thought that I’d be easier to adopt. And clearly he had other things going on.”

Nelson winced.

“That’s shit,” he said.

“And wrong,” Mike sighed. “I don’t even know what to do now. I can’t take care of him like this. I don’t know the first thing about droid maintenance or computers.”

Nelson considered him.

“Well, the good news is that you don’t have to—take care of him, I mean,” he said. “Matt takes care of himself. He’s actually really good at it when he’s not blowin’ his top about some damn thing. You’ll see when he wakes up. And on top of that, he’s already got a mechanic, so when something goes wrong that he can’t fix, we take him to Parker and he does the heavy lifting there.”

Mike swallowed.

“You guys really have it worked out,” he realized.

Nelson sighed.

“Like I said. I’ve known him for seven years. We’ve lived together ever since.”

Woah. Wait. What now?

Nelson turned exhausted eyes onto him.

“I co-signed for his loft, but he just comes and spends all his time here when he’s not out smashing faces. Claims my bed. Steals all the sun spots. Makes me only shit coffee in return.”

He—Matt—Matt had his own apartment? He could do that?

“Sure? Why not? He owns half the firm, too,” Nelson said. “I mean, they wouldn’t let me put it in his name, technically. So it’s through a wildly complicated, uh—let’s call it a ‘thing’ for simplicity’s sake. But yeah. If anything happens to me, full ownership goes to him. But as far as we’re concerned, it’s half and half. The only thing Matt can’t do is practice law on his own, so we have to double-team pretty much every case.”

Mike needed to sit down.

“Oh, for sure. Just not there. I’d recommend out of range, here. Sit here,” Nelson said.

 ---

 Matt woke up when Karen snuck around the bed to remove the wires from his neck. He scrambled up and fell right over the side of the bed onto Karen’s feet.

She swore. He groaned. Nelson pointedly did not come back into the room.

This time, though, when Matt got back up, Karen pulled him in the direction of Mike and took his wrist. She held out a hand for Mike.

Mike’s heart fluttered.

He gave it to her and Karen put his hand directly in Matt’s palm.

There was silence.

“Mikey,” Matt said after a long moment.

Mike’s eyes started burning.

“You came for me,” Matt said.

Mike couldn’t make his throat work. It took two goes to find his voice.

“Yeah,” he croaked. “I sure did.”

“You ain’t singin’, though,” Matt pointed out. “Why aren’t you singin’?”

Because he was cryin’, man. God, give a guy a break.

“Matty, what did they do to you?” he asked.

Matt made a strange sound as he mulled over the question. A kind of whirring noise.

“Made me into a droid, dumbass,” he said.

Mike laughed before he could stop himself.

“Can I have a non-lethal hug?” he asked.

Matt whirred.

“No promises,” he said.

 ----

[simp-for-spencer-reid]

Fluffy Flavor Shot

Babysitting the Godsons

Series Masterlist

Cate was just finishing a shift at The Empty Mug when Spencer walked in through the glass doors. They had made plans earlier in the day to go for a walk through the park before the weather got too cold. Cate’s face lit with a smile when she saw the young doctor. He waited in line to get a chance to speak with Cate, not wanting to disrupt her. The line moved fairly quickly and he was at the register in a matter of minutes. 

“The usual?” Cate guessed as she grabbed a large hot cup. 

“Yeah,” Spencer smiled and toyed with the brown leather strap of his messenger bag. “Also, I need a rain check for our walk tonight.” Some tension in his shoulders released. “JJ needed a last minute sitter for Henry and Michael and I said I’d help out.”

“Sounds like you’ll have your hands full.” Cate said over her shoulder as she prepared his order. She met him at the pickup side of the counter. “Mind if I tag along?” Cate grinned hopefully. Spencer raised his eyebrows, pleasantly surprised. 

“Oh, sure!” he grabbed his coffee from Cate’s hands. “I could definitely use some help. Magic only entertains for so long.” he chuckled. With a final smile to Cate, Spencer took his favorite armchair in front of the chess board to pass the time while he waited for Cate. 

After flipping the sign on the glass door, Marta took the job of sweeping the shop so Cate could leave a bit early to go with Spencer to JJ’s house. They stopped at Cate’s apartment so she could change out of her work clothes and feed Shrimp. The orange cat was getting more comfortable around Spencer. Whenever Spencer sat on the couch, Shrimp was likely to be found by his side, laying down or using his paw to get attention from the doctor. 

Cate got her small backpack and filled it with some things she used to take babysitting when she was in high school: a book, some snacks, and her phone charger. She changed into some leggings and a t-shirt and some slip-on shoes, ready to hangout with some kids. Thinking about it made her miss her niece and nephew back at home. She made a mental note to call her sister soon. And her parents. 

“Ready!” Cate called as she walked into her living room. Shrimp was lying on his back, letting Spencer rub his belly. “What the hell?” Cate scoffed. “He never lets me do that!” Spencer looked up, amused.

“Cats have sensitive hair follicles located on their stomach region, so maybe you just over stimulate him?” Spencer asked. When he stood up, Shrimp flipped back on his feet and hopped off the couch, and went to the kitchen. Cate shook her head, laughing.

The pair made it to JJ’s just in time. The blonde opened the door and was surprised to see Cate, Spencer hadn’t mentioned bringing her, but brought her in for a quick hug all the same as she did to Spencer. 

“You guys are lifesavers!” JJ said as she led them to the kitchen. On the table was a handwritten list of notes about the boys and emergency contacts left for the previously planned babysitter. “They’re looking forward to dino nuggets for dinner, feel free to help yourselves to whatever is in the cabinets or the fridge.” Will popped his head in and greeted the two, before getting his shoes on. The boys filed into the kitchen shortly after, laughing and making dinosaur growls with figurines in their hands. “Thanks again, Spence!” JJ and Will were heading out the door as Spencer picked up the boys and greeted them. 

“You brought a girl!” Henry stated, shyly glancing at Cate from behind Spencer’s leg as Spencer had Michael on his hip. 

“I did.” Spencer carefully set Michael down, and squatted to meet the boy’s eye level. “This is my friend Cate.” He gestured to her. Michael eyed her up and down. Cate knelt down on JJ’s floor too, giving the boys a little wave. 

“Do you like dinosaurs?” Henry asked, stepping away from Spencer and towards Cate.

“I love dinosaurs!” Cate said excitedly. “Do you have any more dinosaur toys?” 

“Yes!” Michael shouted, running out of the kitchen to his room. His footsteps could be heard thumping up the stairs. 

“Follow me!” Henry added, taking off after his brother. Cate laughed and followed them, Spencer trailing behind her. 

“Okay and what is this one?” Henry quizzed Cate, holding up a figurine and looking at her intently. Cate glanced at Spencer sitting on the bed behind Henry’s shoulder. He mouthed the name of the dinosaur to her. 

“Hmm, let me think.” Cate watched him mouth it again, trying to read his lips. “Uhh, Practo..saurus?” Cate cringed as it fell from her lips. She knew she was wrong. Henry and Michael let out belly laughs at her answer. 

“No!” smiled Michael.

“Close,” said Henry. 

A couple dinosaur figurines later and some horridly mispronounced names, Cate and the two boys were sitting cross legged on their bedroom floor, Michael in Cate’s lap. They were watching wide-eyed at Spencer while he captivated them with card trick after card trick. Cate tried her best to watch as intently as possible, but the slight of hand was too good and she had no clue how he was able to guess their cards, or pull cards from behind their ears. Spencer even made coins disappear right before their eyes.

It grew later, and the four were settled on JJ’s couch, watching a movie about an animated dinosaur. Cate and Spencer were sitting next to each other, Henry on the other side of Spencer and Cate had her arms around Michael, who was gently snoring. Spencer had an arm on the back of the couch, behind Cate’s head. 

“Psst!” Cate quietly got Spencer’s attention. He pulled his eyes from the movie to look at her. His heart swelled at the sight of her cuddling his godson. “I have some candy in my backpack if you wanna share?” Cate whispered, not wanting to alert Henry, who was still awake. Spencer nodded, and reached around Henry to Cate’s small black backpack. He ruffled inside and pulled out some sour watermelon candies. Cate nodded, her eyes lighting up at the snack. “Want some?” she asked Spencer. He poured a little bit into his hand. 

Cate opened her mouth and glanced pointedly at Spencer’s hand. He picked up two and dropped them into her mouth. Cate happily chewed the sour candies. Spencer picked another two up and put them in his mouth, his face scrunching at the sour taste. Cate’s giggles alerted Henry, who saw the candy wrapper in Spencer’s hands. 

“My mom always shares her candy with me.” Henry said, eyeballing the sugary treat. Spencer glanced at Cate, who shrugged and nodded. Spencer poured a few watermelon shapes into Henry’s hands. 

“I want some!” Michael said through a yawn, climbing on Cate’s lap to get to Spencer’s hands that held the candy. He passed a few shapes to Michael warily. 

The decision to give the boys candy proved to be the wrong one as they zoomed through the house, chasing each other and laughing. JJ and Will returned to see the chaos ensue right before the boys’ bedtime. Taking off their coats, they sighed. 

“You gave the boys sugar before bed?” JJ shook her head at Spencer, trying to hide her smile.

“She did it!” Spencer pointed to Cate, who was sitting near the boys’ play kitchen in the living room, holding a bowl of pretend cheerios with a chicken leg on top and a bottle of ketchup for a drink.

“No I did not!” Cate gaped, but had a smile on her face. Spencer was sitting at a small plastic table with crayons and scribbled paper strewn over it. Now that JJ and Will were home, Cate and Spencer stood up, stretching their legs and getting ready to head out. Cate gathered her backpack and her sweatshirt, and put on her shoes. Spencer and JJ were exchanging goodbyes and Will was trying to settle the boys. As Spencer and Cate approached the door, Michael ran to them.

“Cate!” Michael grabbed Cate’s hand, getting her to stop from leaving. “This is for you.” He pushed a slightly wrinkled, scribbly drawing of a green circle, a blue circle, a red circle, and a purple circle with arms and legs. Surrounding them were some rough interpretations of dinosaurs and some pink and green wedges, which Cate recognized as the watermelon candies. 

“Is that a drawing of me?” Cate smiled at the child.

“It’s us!” Michael blushed. Cate brought a hand to her heart, kneeling to hug the little boy.

“I love it! Thank you!” Cate looked at the drawing once again. 

Spencer smiled at the interaction, his heart filling with warmth. Seeing Cate get along so well with his godsons and how much they loved her was something Spencer could witness forever. He walked her to her apartment door that night and couldn’t wipe the goofy smile from his face. 

Cate enjoyed herself just as much. She had such a good time that night, but it tugged at her heartstrings to think of her own niece and nephew living so far away. That night, Cate fell asleep fast and dreamt of a small brown haired boy with glasses too big for his face. He wore a miniature version of Spencer’s red cardigan and looked a bit like her dad and had Spencer’s smile.

[consumedkings-archive]

a kiss after a long time apart + misolde xoxo

hi dove thanks so much for letting me consume my day with thoughts of Them : )) this went long but mostly because these two don’t know how to shut the fuck up !!! and thank you for making this gorgeous header for me with our little dark comedy sitcom vibes ;--;

i. parental disaster ✤ michael hughes x isolde khan

words: 3.2k

prompt:  “a kiss after a long time apart” taken from this list!

rating: mature, nothing explicit just some teasing insinuations

warnings: pretty much none! the biggest warning is the fact that somehow these two manage to ever keep their clothes on for anything. also softness, and isolde’s parents being nosy, and soli being in her feelings for .0000005 seconds

It shouldn’t be bothering her so much that he isn’t answering her calls.

It shouldn’t be, but it is, because while her parents chatter happily in her living room, she’s been trying to figure out how she can give Michael some kind of warning before he drops by. He always does, when he’s been gone for a while; comes straight from the airport to her house, sauntering in like he isn’t suffering severe jet lag, with that boyish smile on his face.

Of course, her parent’s arrival isn’t unannounced. Isolde had just—forgotten. Which is unlike her, in every sense of the word, unlike her in so many ways but no matter which way she looks at it, the fact of the matter is: her parents told her they were coming to visit, she had confirmed, and then promptly forgotten about it.

Isolde has a glass of wine in her hand that’s mostly untouched when, over the sound of music playing and pleasant chitchat, a car door closes and her mother says, “Oh, is that Michael?” with such warm surprise that it’s astounding Isolde doesn’t about fall over herself trying to get up from the couch.

A warning. He just needs a fair warning, is all, so that he’s not stressed out, since they hadn’t talked about it at all. That’s all. She’s not worried. That would be silly.

By the time she’s set her wine glass down and is picking her way through the tangle of family’s suitcases, Michael has already swept through the door and announces, “Honey, I’m—oh.”

He slows in the foyer, his gaze darting from her to the family members she’s collected in her living room: her younger sister, her father, and her mother. Michael clears his throat and shifts on his feet, the jovial expression quickly muting itself into what she can only imagine is his best fast-paced attempt at professional.

Avery chirps from the floor, “Hi, Mike!” and he waves—or does his best, anyway, when it seems like his brain is trying to calculate too many things at one time.

“Michael,” and she’s hurrying, her own frantic energy translating into a gesture that is only hands fluttering aimlessly, unsure where to land, “my parents are here. My dad, Basir, and my mother, Isla, and—well, you know Avery already, uh—”

“That’s cool,” Michael replies, and then closes his eyes for a minute like he regrets the words instantly. “I mean—that’s great, Soli, I would have showered first or somethin’, if—it’s really nice to meet you—”

“It’s okay, really,” Basir assures quickly. “We’re not worried about it. Isolde said you were away on business. We just got in a few hours ago ourselves.”

Her dad says it like that’s supposed to be comforting, or something, which she knows it isn’t because both her mother and father look perfectly pressed and as though they have been there for days already.

She can see the gears grinding laboriously in his brain, so she says, “I’m going to help him bring his things in,” and then promptly turns Mike around and pushes him into the kitchen. Too late, she thinks, they know his shit isn’t in the kitchen, but she’s already committed to their path, and the sliding door separating the kitchen and the living room will afford them some privacy.

This isn’t the way that she wants this to happen. She’d wanted plenty of time to prepare—calculated risks only, the kind that she’s sure she’s going to win because there’s no way she won’t. It’s not even a matter of being worried that her parents will like Michael; they will, of course. It’s a matter of him liking them.

And maybe a little about them liking him.

“I tried calling,” she says, once the door is closed, “I tried calling like—eight times, Michael—”

“I was on a plane!” It’s not anger hiking up his voice, it’s distress; he’s rummaging around in the cabinet, looking for something to calm his nerves. “And you know I like to just drive—”

“Straight here, I know.” She opens a different cabinet than the one he’s digging through and plants the bottle of whiskey he keeps there in his hand. It’s quickly followed by a glass to put it in, though she’s sure he’s considering the logistics of just drinking it directly from the bottle. “And you don’t check your phone because you’ve been working for weeks straight. Anyway, they’re only here for a few days, and they’re very excited to meet you.”

Michael makes a miserable little noise around a mouthful of whiskey. Fingers rake through his hair, tousling it all out of place as he stands in the middle of the kitchen looking entirely out of place. His brows furrow, and he presses his palm to his forehead like he’s trying to focus. “Okay, alright, uh—your dad is Basir, your mom is Isla, dad’s a diplomat and mom’s a professor of...P-...Uhh...Fuck, it’s—you’ve told me before, I know what it is—”

“Michael.”

“—does start with a p, right? There can’t be that many degrees that—”

“Mikey.”

“Yeah.”

Isolde cups both sides of his face in her hands. “It’s not the SATs, you don’t need to have an essay answer ready.” She takes the glass out of his hand and takes a swallow. “Also, it’s political science and psychology.”

“Oh,” he replies dryly, “if that’s all.”

“She also sometimes does independent studies for comparative world religions, or Latin, if there’s enough interest. She’s vegetarian, and my dad is not. He prefers whiskey over any clear liquor and my mom only drinks wine, except on special occasions.”

He watches her for a moment, the corner of his mouth ticking upward. “You wanna keep that glass? Sounds like you might need it more than me,” he prompts, and she finds herself smiling in spite of the way things could not have gone any less than she planned it.

“You were gone for longer than usual,” she says by way of avoiding acknowledging her stress. There’s a bit of a pout in her voice, and she busies her hands with pouring more alcohol into the glass so that she doesn’t sound so pathetic when she adds, “I missed you.”

“You did?” His voice bleeds with amusement, the cat that ate the canary, as he noses her cheek. “Isolde missed me? Tried and true reptilian ice queen—”

“You know what? They can have you back.”

Michael flashes a grin at her. He’s sidled close, crowded her up pleasantly against the counter. “I missed you too.”

He’s close. Not as close as she’d like—their ritual of shucking his clothes the second he walks through her door after a long business trip so that she can drag him straight into the shower foregone in lieu of their guests—but close enough that when his nose brushes hers, she’s reminded that she hasn’t had the chance to kiss him in quite some time.

But when Michael leans in to kiss her, she tilts her head back, just out of his reach.

“How much,” she idles, their company forgotten, “did you miss me?”

“I had plans to show you,” he replies lowly, “you know, before I found out I’d have to behave.”

“You always have to behave.”

“When it’s so fun to have you scold me?” He tilts his head. “C’mon, doll, you know me better than that.”

Isolde’s eyes narrow playfully, and when she opens her mouth to respond the only thing stopping her from reminding him what happens when he decides to inspire a scolding out of her is the sound of the sliding door creeping open and her dad’s tentative voice.

“Soli?” His voice is light, coddling. “If now’s a bad time, you know you can tell us. We won’t mind.”

Oh, right. That.

“No, daddy, it’s fine,” she replies instantly, turning as Michael disengages from her to fetch another glass out of the cabinet. “I was just—”

“Debriefing,” Basir interjects, not unkindly, because he knows her. A smile crinkles the corner of his eyes, the gesture warming his expression. “Your mother is wondering if Michael needs help finding his bags in the kitchen.”

“Oh, we’ll get those later.” Isolde takes the last swallow of whiskey out of the glass she’s commandeered from Michael. “Out in a minute, just making a drink.”

“Should I give your mother your wine, then?”

“She’ll get more use of it than I will.”

He waves his hand, sliding the door shut again, and Michael sets his new glass next to hers.

“He seems nice,” is what he offers after a minute.

“He is nice,” Sol agrees, reaching up and patting Michael’s shoulder. “And you’re going to have ample opportunity to experience it for yourself.”

He grimaces—surely, in anxiety and not in detesting the incoming interaction—and presses a quick kiss to her temple.

“I can’t wait.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

All in all, it goes well.

Of course it goes well. Isolde knows that it will—even if the abrupt way the whole meeting has come about is enough to make her want to rip her hair out—but it’s still a comfort to watch it play out; Michael sitting on the couch close to her as she tucks her knees up beneath her on the floor and goads her father into playing her in a game of chess, Avery watching from the sidelines and her mother surveying with the same kind of amused, watchful gaze that she always does.

Isla asks Michael a lot of questions. She asks about his family, pleasantly gliding over it when it seems like he doesn’t want to express a lot about that particular subject, and what he does for work—another subject that he manages to delicately step through—and does he like living in Hope County? It’s very beautiful, has he ever wanted to live anywhere? Does he travel often for work? Is he an only child? Does he want children of his own?

“Mother,” Isolde scolds, pushing the black bishop into place. “Please do not interrogate Michael about if he wants to procreate with me or not.”

“Not you particularly,” her mother defends, “but just in general.”

“It’s important to know.” Basir frowns, watching as Isolde dispatches of his rook. “You should always be on the same page, you know.”

“Perhaps you should focus on this page we’re on now, before I checkmate you.”

He grumbles and takes a sip of his drink. Absently, Isolde reaches up behind her, fingers affectionately finding Michael’s as she studies the board.

“So,” Isla continues sweetly, “children?”

“Michael,” Isolde says, “you don’t have to answer.”

“I don’t mind,” he laughs, and when she looks at him over her shoulder with a scrutinizing gaze, he lifts his eyebrows. “I don’t mind.”

“Fine.”

“I don’t have a set number,” Michael allows, his fingers tangled with hers as she preoccupies herself with the chessboard. “I always think I’d be happiest with whatever my partner wants.”

“Good boy,” Basir praises, beaming. He waves a finger “You can always negotiate for a different number, but not if you try and set it in stone.”

Isolde sighs. “We will not be negotiating for children.”

“Why not? It could be fun.”

“You could make it a game,” Avery suggests, pulling the throw blanket more securely around her shoulders. “Soli picks the number, Michael coerces and negotiates.”

A laugh billows out of Mike behind her, and he says, “Nah, that’s too easy. I’d get whatever I wanted. Wouldn’t be any game.”

Isolde makes an indignant sound. It’s all play, because it’s cute that Michael thinks he can get whatever he wants when he wants it (and maybe there is a bit of truth to those words, but he doesn’t need to know the extent of his own power just yet). She squints at him.

“I’ve made men cry before, you know.” Michael mmhms at her. “Lots of men.”

“And I think that,” he agrees, giving her shoulder a little squeeze “is very attractive.”

“That’s what you want, my love,” Isla chides at her, coming to a stand and taking Sol’s glass out of her hands to carry it into the kitchen for refills. “Someone who likes even the most vicious parts of you.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Later, Avery has retired to bed—buzzed from a single glass of wine, no less—and her mother is talking to her about how busy it’s been at work, but Isolde is wrapped up watching her father make big, dramatic hand gestures while he smokes outside with Michael. The scent of the clove cigarettes her father favors drift in from the screen door out to the porch, and paired with the sound of crickets chirping in the late evening, she feels a pang in her stomach; something like longing, or nostalgia, but for the moment she’s in right then and there.

Perhaps sadness, that it will come to a natural end.

Her mother’s fingers card through her hair affectionately. “You seem tired, beloved. You both do.”

“I’m sure he’s fine, he does this often,” Isolde replies, glancing away from where her father is perhaps two cigarettes deep into some story he almost certainly shouldn’t be telling Michael, flip-flopping between Turkish and English in his excitement. “Or he was, until whatever’s going on out there started happening. How does daddy manage to sit on a plane for something like nineteen hours and he’s got all that energy still?”

Her mother makes an amused noise, pressing a kiss to the top of her head and pulling herself into a stand, sighing. “He’s perpetually propelled by his love for you and your sister, I am sure.”

“That’s a nice way to say manic.”

“It’s nice seeing you happy,” her mother continues, glossing over what is only a true statement about her father’s frenetic energy. “For ourselves, I mean. It’s one thing for Avery to tell us about how happy he makes you—”

She snorts. “What a gossip.”

“—another entirely,” Isla interrupts, “to see it in real-time.” She brushes the hair away from Isolde’s face. “You were always prone to loneliness, my girl. Ever since you were a baby, you preferred it over our attention.”

The words make Isolde’s chest feel tight. Prone to loneliness is something that only her mother could say and it not be an insult, only an objective observation. Stinging harder still is the knowledge that most of the time, being around people does feel stifling to her—except with Michael.

Isla flashes her a smile and makes her way over to the screen door, sliding it open and leaning against the doorway. “Basir?”

She can see her mother’s caught her father right on the tail end, because he stops and looks at her with bright eyes. “Yes, my darling? I was telling Michael about that French ambassador who—”

“I am sure Michael would love to hear the end of the story in the morning,” her mother coaxes. “It’s late. Come to bed.”

“Oh, alright. If you don’t mind, Michael,” her father tacks on, looking back at Mike, “waiting for the end.”

Michael’s eyes flicker, meeting hers through the doorway, an easy, lopsided smile sliding onto his face. “Don’t mind at all.”

“First thing tomorrow, then. And,” Basir continues, ushering in after her mother, “I won’t keep you up anymore, darling. Come on, come on, bedtime.”

There’s more chatter like that as they exit, murmured goodnights and the aggressive bear hug from her father that comes when he’s had more than one shot of whiskey; Michael closes and locks the sliding door and makes his way to where Isolde is tucked up on the couch. As he settles in beside her, their fingers interlock on the back of the couch and she takes in a little breath.

Handsome. He’s painfully, excruciatingly handsome, maybe even more so because she just watched him weather the storm that is her parents, noisy and nosy but well-meaning. The sigh that he lets out when he’s settled on the couch makes her think that he’s finally letting a breath out he’s been holding, even though he’s got no reason to be stressed about her parents liking him.

“I like them,” he tells her. “Your dad’s funny.”

“Don’t let him hear you.” Isolde drapes her legs over his lap, setting her mostly-empty glass aside. “He’ll never stop trying out his jokes on you.”

Michael laughs and leans in to brush their noses together; he doesn’t go right for a kiss, not straight away, and there’s this little thread of anticipation that pulls on her heart when she remembers how long it’s been since she’s had a real kiss from him. Weeks. That’s something criminal, isn’t it?

“Haven’t kissed you,” she murmurs after a moment, “not proper, since you got back.”

“Well,” Michael coaxes, “what on earth are you waitin’ for, then?”

“Thought maybe you’d want to use your negotiation skills for more than a kiss.”

The brunette grins, leaning in the rest of the way to close the distance between them and kiss her; at last, at last, something inside of her says, relieved to have him there at last, and she reaches up with her free hand to tangle her fingers in his hair and keep him there.

There’s no rush to it. It’s an unhurried, leisurely re-mapping, re-familiarizing, though she hasn’t forgotten and neither has he. Isolde kisses him like he’s been gone for weeks and that he’s not ever going to leave for that long again, which isn’t true—but she can pretend, for a little while, that it is.

And it’s a little alarming, how her chest aches when she realizes how long he’s been gone, how much she’s missed having him around, how much she—

“I feel like,” he says against her mouth, between what are now sparse liplocks peppering his words, “maybe I don’t have to negotiate for more—”

“Michael,” Isolde hums sweetly, “shut up.”

“Boy, but you’re sexy when you boss me around.”

“I’m about to get a lot sexier if you don’t start kissing me like you mean it.”

He pulls back, that little smile still on his face, his arm sliding around her midsection to pull her more comfortably against him. But he doesn’t go back to kissing her; he trails his mouth along the slope of her jaw, and kisses the hollow below her ear before he says, “I always mean it when I kiss you, Soli.”

Oh, no, she thinks, her throat feeling tight. She’s not going to cry, that would be fucking stupid, and she’d rather fucking die before she lets Michael see a tear slip out of her—but it’s the same kind of feeling, the overwhelmingly bittersweet feeling knowing that this moment is going to end and she’ll have to remind herself of it, later.

“I know,” she replies, softer this time when she kisses him. “Now stop ruining the moment with your sappiness and pitch your deal to me already.”

“Alright,” Michael puffs, “three kids, get started on the first one now—”

She groans, but not without affection, and he hauls her up into his arms bridal style to begin carrying her back to the bedroom.

He says, pleasantly, “We could at least get some practice in.”

“Sure, baby,” Isolde murmurs, pressing her face into his neck. “Whatever you want.”

And she doesn’t have to see the smile to know he’s got it plastered on his face when he says, “Told you it’d be too easy.”

[paladin-lynx]

SquipJere Week 2020, Day 6: Sexy Anime Cat Girl With a Tail

@squipjerebmc’s SquipJere Week 2020 Day 6: Sexy Anime Cat Girl With a Tail

Ships Involved: The SQUIP x Jeremy Heere (Technical Difficulties/Squipemy/Squeremy/JereSquip/SquipJere)

Setting: Canonverse, set in the time interval between “Loser Geek Whatever” and “Halloween”.

Trigger/Content Warnings: non-graphic mentions of masturbation; sexual situations and implications but no graphic depictions of sex; anthropomorphic/furry characters; tail kink; kissing; grinding; groping

Author’s Notes: Am I posting this weeks after the event already ended? Maybe. I ended up starting this piece when SquipJere Week was still happening before I fell out of my groove, so hopefully I managed to pick up where I left off well enough. This one’s a little spicier than the others, as you can probably tell from the warnings, hehe. Enjoy!

The SQUIP had been working long and hard to condition Jeremy to not think about sex nearly as often as he used to, and the fact that it seemed to be successful thus far in its efforts was nothing short of amazing. Jeremy had gone from feeling the need to jerk off every morning like clockwork to actually being able to get through an entire day without thinking about something lewd. The only time he ever got a pass was when he was with Brooke, but he hadn’t been seeing her much outside of school lately. She was just a stepping stone to get to Christine anyway, and while she was attractive and sweet, Jeremy wasn’t really all that into her. And that made him feel bad about using her as some kind of practice dummy.

“She’s used to it,” the SQUIP would say while squeezing his shoulder reassuringly. “She’ll move on to someone else quickly enough. You don’t have to be concerned about hurting her.”

That didn’t really make Jeremy feel much better, but he had always been someone who worried constantly about what others thought of him or how they felt about things he’d done. It was a big part of why he’d gotten the SQUIP in the first place – no one would ever see him as anything more than the awkward cardigan-wearing loser who spent all his time playing video games and getting high in his only friend’s basement. Michael had always been perfectly content to march to the beat of his own drum and didn’t seem to really care about anyone’s opinions of him, and he seemed to just assume Jeremy felt the same.

But Jeremy yearned to be somebody. He didn’t want to just survive every day and wait for the next day to be exactly the same. He wanted to live and have a life.

And so the SQUIP helped him to thrive in all areas. He dressed better, he walked more confidently, he was doing well in school and in the drama club. He was getting closer every day to all the cool kids and Brooke seemed completely enamored with him.

Of course, he was still a teenage boy. And teenage boys had urges. And while Jeremy could rein in those urges when he was awake and alert, that most definitely wasn’t the case when he was asleep.

He hadn’t been thinking about anything particularly sexy in nature before going to bed – at least, he was pretty sure he hadn’t, or else the SQUIP definitely would’ve had something to say about it – but that didn’t seem to matter. The dream had started out simple enough. It was almost boring, really. He was lounging on his bed, playing around on his phone, with the SQUIP laying beside him and watching quietly. The SQUIP as of late had been indulging itself more in the simple pleasures of human life and seemed content to observe Jeremy just existing rather than criticizing his every thought and action. Ever since it had realized it may be able to feel and Jeremy had assured it that he did really like having it around, it had taken to merely being near him when things were calm.

But all too quickly, the dream shifted away from the PG. The SQUIP smirked and reached over to take his phone – something that dream logic apparently decided was a thing that the SQUIP could actually do – to set it aside, and then didn’t hesitate to climb on top of him and straddle his waist. The SQUIP felt surprisingly more solid than normal, and while it was normally a bit cold to the touch, it actually felt rather warm now, like it was flesh and blood and not just a projection from Jeremy’s mind.

There was soon a hungry mouth on his and they were kissing, Jeremy wrapping his arms around the SQUIP and curling his fingers into the back of its cloak. However, when he pulled back, he realized the face looking at him was not that of Keanu Reeves, but instead a rather well-endowed girl with big, unmistakably anime-styled eyes, shining an ever familiar bright blue. She had long flowing black hair and atop her head proudly sat a pair of cat ears, and the cloak Jeremy had been holding onto was replaced with a rather short dress covered in a circuitry pattern. And Jeremy was pretty sure he could see a long black tail waving behind her.

Jeremy gawked for a moment but he did seem to have enough brain power to comprehend that this was still his SQUIP – he remembered way back when it had said one of its potential forms for him was that ‘sexy anime cat girl with a tail’ – and that seemed to be all the go-ahead the SQUIP needed to dive back in and kiss him again. Jeremy felt like there was fire under his skin as he kissed back, one hand shifting down to toy with the SQUIP’s new tail, causing it to mewl into his mouth. And of course that only spurred Jeremy on more.

The dream only escalated from there. Clothes disappeared at some point and the SQUIP’s mouth was everywhere on him, skilled and teasing. Given that the SQUIP was in Jeremy’s mind, it of course knew all the right ways to get him to writhe and moan. It could have only been a few seconds or it could have very well been hours when the SQUIP finally climbed back into his lap, a grin on those feline lips, and sank down onto him.

Jeremy woke up choking out a gasp, gripping his sheets and realizing rather quickly that both them and he were drenched in sweat. He had to take a moment to catch his breath, feeling as though he had just run a mile, and when he noticed that his pajama pants were feeling rather sticky, he quickly realized what had happened.

“Oh my God…” he mumbled, rubbing his hands over his face before pushing back the hair slicked to his forehead.

“I see you had quite the dream.”

Jeremy yelped at the sudden voice, scrambling to sit up and ending up tangled in the blankets for a moment. He stared with wide eyes at the SQUIP – in its usual form, thankfully – sitting in his desk chair, glowing that gentle blue against the darkness of the room. It was the middle of the night, judging by the fact that it was still dark outside, as well. The SQUIP was grinning slightly at him, looking thoroughly amused.

Jeremy just blinked dumbly at it for a moment, his mouth dry. “D…did you do that?”

“Oh goodness, no, Jeremy. I may be inside your brain, but the subconscious is not a realm that I can delve into. It’s much too complex and I wouldn’t want to potentially damage your mind by interfering with it.”

“But…you still saw it?”

The SQUIP hummed. “Bits and pieces. And, well, clearly you have a pretty vivid memory of it, so…” Its grin widened a fraction. “I can see it all now as you think about it.”

Jeremy’s entire face burned and he quickly tried to put the dream out of his mind, although he knew how this worked – now that he was actively trying not to think about it, it would result in him just thinking about it more whether he wanted to or not.

“Are you gonna shock me or make me do push-ups?” he asked warily.

The SQUIP tilted its head to one side, gaze sweeping up and down Jeremy’s body in a way that made him swallow a lump in his throat.

“…I’ll let it slide this time,” it murmured, chuckling. It smiled at him again, waving a hand dismissively. “Change out of those clothes. You’ve soiled them.”

Face still feeling hot, Jeremy slid out of bed and went to grab a fresh pair of pajamas, trying to ignore how he could feel the SQUIP’s eyes still on him. He did take a moment to grab some tissues and clean himself up and soon enough he was changed, although he frowned as he looked back at the bed and realized his sheets were still soaked. He didn’t like making the bed on a normal day, let alone in the dead of night. He could probably just deal with it, or sleep on the couch, although the latter option would raise some questions from his dad in the morning – if he cared enough to be inquisitive, anyway.

“Whatever,” he sighed, pulling the blankets up so they covered the dampened sheets and he could lay on top of them. He shifted so he could flip his pillow over, as well, humming contently at the cooler side pressed against his cheek and closing his eyes. Everything was peaceful.

“Jeremy…”

His eyes shot back open when the SQUIP’s voice came out much higher-pitched and sing-songy than normal. He was about to sit up when he felt himself pressed back onto the bed, weight pushing against his shoulders and waist. The SQUIP suddenly appeared atop him, grinning wickedly as it took the form of the very same cat girl he’d seen in his dream. The only difference now was that its touch was cool against his skin rather than warm.

“L-Ly?” he managed, blinking up at his SQUIP with wide eyes. “Wh…what are you doing?”

It chuckled – more like purred, honestly – and leaned in close. “You keep telling me to find things that I enjoy,” it murmured, tail flicking in amusement. “And I’ve come to conclude that I do very much enjoy seeing you all flustered like this. Do you like this form of mine, Jeremy? We both know about your attraction to anthropomorphic characters and…well, I believe you also have an affinity for tails, right?”

Jeremy tried to say something, to retort, but he just ended up letting out a rather pathetic squeak because of course the SQUIP was right. Michael teased him all the time – lovingly, of course – for being a furry, and he was never going to let Jeremy live down that one time he’d accidentally admitted that he thought Thalia would look cute with a tail.

But the SQUIP had worked so tirelessly to keep Jeremy from doing anything that would incite sexual thoughts, and yet here it was, seducing him. Was it seducing him? Jeremy wasn’t completely sure he was actually awake yet, to be honest.

But even if the SQUIP wasn’t nearly as warm as it’d felt in Jeremy’s dream, this did feel much more real in a way he couldn’t quite figure out. Maybe it was simply because he was, in fact, no longer dreaming and his brain could better process the situation – although he definitely still felt like he was at a loss.

“I…” was all that fell from his lips when he tried to speak again.

The SQUIP grinned, eyes bright with amusement and mischief, and it closed the gap between them. The feeling of the SQUIP kissing him was tingly and, dare he say, electrifying. It wasn’t like kissing Brooke, which was all warm and wet and messy. Even while insistent, every move the SQUIP made was precisely calculated and its lips were still cool against his, firing off all the right nerves to make it feel like there was something actually there.

It was so obvious to Jeremy that he was kissing nothing more than a glorified figment of his imagination, like this was just another fantasy. But he didn’t care. He liked it. His chest bloomed with warmth and his stomach was doing somersaults, and he couldn’t help letting out a soft whine against the SQUIP’s mouth. He wasn’t entirely sure why the SQUIP was doing this or if this was all some elaborate trick, but he threw caution to the wind and gripped onto the back of that dress like he had in his dream, pulling the SQUIP more against him. Their chests brushed and the SQUIP’s hips slid against his in a way that made Jeremy arch up with a gasp, and the SQUIP didn’t hesitate to take the opportunity to slide its tongue into Jeremy’s mouth. It was a little weird since it wasn’t wet and gross like a human tongue would be – Frenching was still something Jeremy was getting used to when it came to Brooke – but he could taste the SQUIP all the same.

It eventually pulled back and Jeremy sucked in a breath, having apparently forgotten that oxygen was a thing that he needed. The SQUIP looked entirely unfazed, still sitting triumphantly atop him with that wide grin. Jeremy’s chest heaved, his body growing warmer, and while he still wasn’t sure if this was some weird test, he gave in to his desire and tugged the SQUIP down again, kissing it once more. He felt the vibration of a chuckle against his mouth and for a moment Jeremy thought the SQUIP might just stop and leave him yearning, but then it was kissing back with just as much hunger.

Whining again, Jeremy let his hands drift down. He could feel the soft, silky fabric of the SQUIP’s dress as if it were really there, although there was a slight buzz at his fingertips, as if he was touching active wires. No one else would ever feel like the SQUIP, and that sent an odd sort of thrill through Jeremy. He couldn’t help wondering, in the back of his mind, if some people got SQUIPs for things like this. After all, if something was inside your brain, it knew exactly how to make you feel good, right? Although he supposed there were probably some drawbacks to SQUIPs only being able to project a holographic form. It wasn’t an actual, physical body like an android or something would have.

But those thoughts were hardly present in Jeremy’s mind as he lost himself in the moment. The SQUIP’s hips gave another teasing little roll that had Jeremy whimpering and on a whim he let his hands slip down to the SQUIP’s ass, wanting to pull on its tail.

So he had a kink. Sue him.

However, as he felt around, kneading at the soft skin, his brow furrowed when his fingers never found a tail. He pulled out of the kiss and opened his eyes, squeaking and turning bright red when he realized he was no longer looking that cute cat girl in the face, but instead a familiar Keanu Reeves lookalike.

The SQUIP, naturally, was still smirking like it was having the time of its life. “Problem, dear?”

“Y-you…” Jeremy tried, but he had no retort. He would’ve thought that the want – the need, nearly – to have the SQUIP close, kissing and touching it, would instantly fade away upon seeing the SQUIP’s usual form. After all, Jeremy saw it all the time and while it was an attractive face, it wasn’t one that Jeremy had thought about kissing – okay, well, maybe a couple of times, but that was just because his mind liked to imagine most things in a sexual way, horny teenage boy that he was. The cat girl had made him feel so many things and he hadn’t been able to help himself.

However, to his surprise, he found that even looking at this face he’d been seeing every day, 24/7, for the past few months, the urge to be close wasn’t going away.

“I…” he mumbled, suddenly feeling very small, his hands hurriedly falling from the SQUIP’s back where they’d been lingering. He shouldn’t be feeling this. He shouldn’t have felt it before even with the SQUIP’s rather sexy new form, but he definitely shouldn’t be feeling it now.

The SQUIP definitely sensed his hesitation and seemed to soften up a bit. Jeremy swallowed the lump in his throat as he felt a wave of calm wash over his mind and he sighed quietly, his muscles relaxing against the bed beneath him.

“There you go, love,” it cooed and, after giving Jeremy a moment to process, it leaned down to press their lips together again. This time it was gentler, more a brush against his mouth than a kiss proper, and Jeremy felt the weight against his waist lift slightly. Jeremy just lay there for a moment as the SQUIP kissed him before his eyes fluttered shut and he almost shyly kissed back, like it was his first time.

It only lasted a few seconds and then the SQUIP pulled back, shifting to move off of Jeremy and lay beside him on the bed. It gently ran a hand up Jeremy’s arm, and Jeremy felt the hairs there rise up at the cool, slightly static-y touch. “Are you alright?” it asked.

Jeremy blinked and ended up coughing out a laugh. “You’re asking that now?”

It frowned, eyebrows furrowing. It tilted its head slightly – analyzing, calculating, predicting. “…I apologize,” it murmured, still tracing along Jeremy’s arm. Jeremy almost wondered if it was fidgeting like that. “I suppose I got an…impulse and I got carried away with it. I shouldn’t have pinned you down. And I shouldn’t have kissed you or moved against you like that. It was highly inappropriate.”

Jeremy just stared. The SQUIP had definitely been acting more and more like a human lately as it explored what it wanted outside of just being Jeremy’s coach, but never had it sounded so ashamed, like it truly thought it had done something wrong. Jeremy’s mouth fell open slightly in surprise and he scrambled for something to say.

“I…I mean…” he started. “You…would’ve known if I didn’t want it, right? You’re in my brain. You…knew I was enjoying it.”

“I believe most would call that ‘taking advantage’ of you, Jeremy.”

“I could’ve told you to stop. Even if my mouth was, er, preoccupied, I could’ve thought at you.”

“Would you have done that, though?”

That had Jeremy faltering and he had to consider it. And he realized he wasn’t sure. Even if he had been uncomfortable, he’d been so overwhelmed by all the sensations the SQUIP was making him feel that he wasn’t sure he would’ve been able to properly convey that he didn’t want it. And even if he could’ve, he might’ve ended up being too afraid of the SQUIP’s disapproval that he wouldn’t have said anything at all and just let it happen.

The SQUIP, of course, could hear all of his thoughts on the matter and huffed softly. “Exactly.”

Jeremy’s brow creased. “You’re acting like I’m mad at you.”

“You should be.”

“Well, I’m not. I’m…confused, really, more than anything else.”

The SQUIP sighed. “I would imagine so.” It paused, processing once again. “…I’m honestly not…entirely sure why I did that. Like I said, it was an impulse.”

Jeremy raised an eyebrow. “But you always run predictions and stuff. You had to of seen what would come after if you acted like that. Was this…all because of my dream? Did it like, mess with your code or something because I dreamed about you?”

“You’ve dreamt about me before, Jeremy, that isn’t how this works,” the SQUIP scoffed, and Jeremy was glad that it was at least well enough to criticize his lack of knowledge about supercomputer pills. “…I suppose I wanted to tease you a little, as it were, about this particular dream, but that was all. I had only planned on changing my form for a brief moment, but once I was on top of you…” It trailed off and Jeremy felt a buzz at the back of his head that he was already learning to recognize as the SQUIP’s version of being flustered.

“…Yeah?” he prompted.

Its form flickered for a moment. “…Nothing else mattered,” it murmured. “Of course I saw the plausible futures. Of course I knew what a bad idea it was. But…I didn’t care.” Its expression twisted in frustration. “Why didn’t I care…? Am I defective?”

Jeremy wished he could answer, but he truly didn’t know. However, he’d learned a fair bit about the SQUIP in these last few weeks. Maybe he still didn’t completely understand how its programming worked, but he knew what he saw and he could sometimes feel things through their connection, even if it was difficult to discern exactly what it was he was feeling. And while Jeremy had never been the best at puzzles, he could still recognize patterns when he saw them. There were sensations he’d feel when the SQUIP seemed happier than usual, and on the opposite end of the spectrum there were things he’d feel when it was particularly agitated.

So, he had a theory. “Maybe you wanted it.”

The SQUIP blinked at him before tutting. “I’m a mach—”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re a machine, you don’t feel, you don’t ‘experience emotions’ like I do. You’ve told me that a gazillion times, but I’m starting to think it’s just bullshit.”

Jeremy almost laughed at how scandalized the SQUIP looked. “Excuse me?”

He sighed. “You obviously feel things, Ly. You sing because you think it’s fun. You get annoyed when you find stupid bugs in the video games you run around in. You like to poke fun at me and call me things like ‘love’ and ‘dear’ because you think my reactions are funny. So…so maybe you wanted to kiss me because, I don’t know, you thought you’d like it?”

The SQUIP’s gaze swiveled back down and Jeremy once again felt that buzz as it considered his words.

“…Did you like it?” Jeremy asked after he didn’t get an answer for a bit. It had definitely seemed like the SQUIP had enjoyed itself, acting like it owned him, but then again, the SQUIP also did things to experiment and test results, so it could have just continued on to see what would happen.

“…I did,” it finally said, whispering so quietly Jeremy almost swore he misheard it.

The buzzing at the back of his head was growing more insistent and Jeremy could tell that the SQUIP was trying to make sense of this entire situation. It was strange, because Jeremy figured that by now the SQUIP would’ve come to accept that its A.I. had evolved to the point where it could actually experience things similar to how a human could, since they’d had so many conversations like this before, but it seemed that it still had its limits on what it deemed acceptable. And while his SQUIP definitely had its quirks, Jeremy doubted that there was anything inherently wrong with it. After all, it scanned itself regularly for problems in its software, so it wasn’t that – unless something had slipped under the radar, but Jeremy doubted that, too.

Deciding to take initiative for once in his life – although he supposed he had the SQUIP to thank for that, with all its work to boost his confidence – he gently put a hand on the SQUIP’s cheek, turning its face to him. He was a little surprised that it actually worked, considering that he had no real control over the projection, but the SQUIP still blinked at him.

“Remember what you said, that you just acted without thinking about the consequences?” he asked. “We’ll worry about all this later, just…for now, go back to that. Do what you want to. Don’t think about what it all means.”

The SQUIP looked like it wanted to protest for a heartbeat but then its expression softened and it nodded, leaning in and kissing Jeremy again.

Jeremy, of course, gently pulled the SQUIP closer against him, glad when he could feel the press of its form against his chest. They both knew that this probably wasn’t wise of them and they’d have to really look more into it when they had the chance, but for now, Jeremy was content to focus on how nice the SQUIP’s lips felt on his and how good it felt to have those cool, strong hands on him.

And from the static against his mouth and the warmth in the back of his mind, he was pretty sure the SQUIP was okay with that, too.

[calumbringbackthewatermelonshirt]

Hiraeth (C.H.)

Hiraeth: a homesickness for a home you can never return to, a home which maybe never was. 

a/n: welcome back. please enjoy this entirely too long calum hood boarding school au. I did my best, but if there are any discrepancies PLEASE send me an ask and tell me!!! I included the women of 5sos for more character diversity and I low-key kind of love it! this is about the first 10 pages and theres dozens more to come that are already written! come hell or high-water, I am committing to finishing this wip, please feel free to send me thoughts and questions!!!

“Crap.” Sierra muttered under her breath when she noticed the sign on the old RA’s door. Even though she wouldn’t have considered them friends, Sierra was at least comfortable enough with the old RA to go to her when Sierra needed to get into her room. She really had to start keeping track of her keys better.

Stalking back down the hallway, she went to go find Kaykay, knowing her roommate would definitely have her keys.

….

“A new RA?” Calum sounded skeptical over dinner the next day. “It’s kind of late in the school year for that.”

“What do you care, Hood?” Michael rested his weight on his elbows on the table and smirked at Hood over his sandwich. “Afraid of a little competition?”

“What competition?” Luke looked up from his latest novel, some clunky old thing he was reading in french.

“Competition for the best RA, duh.” Kaykay kicked her feet up onto the table, only to have Hood shove them back onto the ground. Hood never let her have her feet on the table when they were eating but that didn't stop her from putting them up there. One day, one day she would be able to keep them up there for the entirety of the lunch. It was like her white whale. “Maybe this one will let us play poker on her floor.”

“Yeah, well, she’s not off to a great start. I got locked out earlier and had to find Kaykay to let me into our room.” Sierra was still a little bothered by that. Even though rationally she knew she should cut the new RA some slack, her blisters were making it kinda hard to forget her trek.

“Come on now, Si. A little walking never killed anybody.” Michael gave Sierra a grin that stretched wide across his face, but if there was anyone who could resist it, it was Sierra.

“You’re not the one who had to walk all the way across campus.” Sierra was grumbling into her food, but it was still audible to Kaykay, who smothered a snicker.

“Give her a chance, Sierra. The new RA was probably still moving in. Be nice.” Crystal was palming orange slices into Luke’s hands as he read, who was robotically eating them. Kaykay, on the other hand, was blowing her straw wrapper at Luke’s face, cheering when she hit him. Luke didn’t seem to register either one of them.

“Coach says we’re getting someone new on the soccer team. Maybe it’s also the new RA?” Kaykay picked at her food absentmindedly, as if contemplating the odds of it being the same person. Kaykay was pretty good friends with everyone on the team, but she was on JV and the coach said the new girl would be on varsity.

“Maybe. Everyone finish up. Curfew’s in 15 minutes, and you all need to be back in the dorms by then.” Hood didn’t seem like he put much thought into the conversation that had gone down at the table, more concerned with corralling his bunch into following the rules. It almost never happened, but Hood still tried.

“It’s not like it’ll matter much. Sierra and I don’t have anyone there to tell us we're late.” Kaykay was still playing the cat and mouse game with Hood, her doc martens gracing the table with their presence once more. Hood, to his credit, pushed them off not even a minute later.

Crystal stood up, dragging Luke with her. “Yeah, but we do.”

….

“Do you think she’ll be nice? Or like super strict? God, I hope she’s not super strict. Maybe we’ll get super lucky and get someone like Hood. Michael and Luke are so lucky.” Sierra was kind of nervous. She always got like this when she was gearing up to meet new people. Yet, her rambling subsided when she heard voices echoing down the mahogany hallways.

“No, you cannot set their rooms on fire. I don't care that they replaced your lip gloss with jelly, arson is not the answer. Please just shave their eyebrows like normal students. And go late at night so you don’t get caught. If you get caught, I’ll have to play dumb and that’s kinda hard for the valedictorian.” Kaykay and Sierra watched as two sophomores ran giggling down the hallway, armed with freshly acquired shaving cream and devious new plans.

Sierra and Kaykay locked eyes then spoke in unison. “Definitely cool.”

They took the short walk down to your doorway, where you were leaning and watching the two girls run off. You wore casual clothes, white school t-shirt, blue plaid men’s boxers, and mix-matched socks, one short with an avocado on it and one tall with mini corgis. You were chugging iced coffee through straw like your life depended on it. Sierra took it all in, deciding she liked you by the time her eyes made it up to your metal straw.

You took one look at Sierra and Kaykay, almost studying them. “You heard nothing.”

Sierra was quick to reply, already wanting your approval. “Not a peep. I’m Sierra, and this is Kaykay. We’re on your floor.”

“Ah. Cool beans.” You introduced yourself, looking at Kaykay a second longer than Sierra. “You’re on the soccer team, right?”

“Yeah.” Unlike Sierra, Kaykay clammed up around people she didn’t know, and she was still quiet around the ones she did. “Are you the new girl the coach told us about?”

“I am indeed. I start practicing with you guys tomorrow.” You glanced at a notification that popped up on your phone, scrunching up your eyes a bit to read it. “It’s kinda late. Shouldn’t you two youngsters be asleep? You’ll need it if you wanna grow up big and strong.”

“Yeah, yes, of course. We promise we won't set anyone’s room on fire either.” After a withering glance from you, Sierra grinned. “Not that we would ever do that. Where would someone even get an idea like that?”

You smirked right back at them. “You know where I am if you ever need anything. But be warned, I’m not a morning person.”

With that you turned and shut your door, leaving Sierra and Kaykay standing in the hallway right outside your door.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Sierra’s smile was as wide as her face allowed. She had a devious look on her face, one that only a person who had illegally downloaded thousands of shows on her laptop could have.

“I never am. I’m pretty sure no one ever is.” Kaykay was skeptical, knowing that whatever was going on in that genius brain of Sierra’s could not be good. Sierra had a nose for sticking her nose in other people’s business.

“Her, plus Hood, equals literally the most perfect couple in the world. Maybe to ever exist.” Oh, she could already see them together, holding hands, you making Hood laugh for once in his life. Him cheering you on at your soccer games. You cheering him on at his if the gang could force him to have fun. Oh, this was perfect. Beyond perfect.

“Are you sure? We probably shouldn’t meddle in other people’s love lives. It might be kinda rude.” Kaykay scrunched up her nose, allowing Sierra to drag her by the wrist back to their room. Kaykay wasn’t a particularly nosy person.She was a big fan of giving herself rules to not get attached, such as ‘hey, don't insert yourself into other people’s love lives.’

“Oh, hush, I’m literally the best cupid. I even have the wings for it.” Sierra was jogging a little now, so many plans already rushing through her head. Sierra had always considered herself a bit of genius, but she had outdone herself this time.

…

“Hello, my darlings!” Sierra was buzzing with excitement. This was a big moment for her. Her scheme was about to be set into motion, and god, was she excited. Hood was stuck in a floor meeting for Lincoln house, which meant you were, too. She took the timing of the meeting as a sign from the gods that this was meant to be. “Listen up please. I have news.”

Sierra remained standing as the others gathered round and took their seats. She waited until everyone sat down and was too busy with their food to interrupt her.

“So. Kaykay and I have met the new RA, and let me tell you, she is amazing.”  Sierra grinned leaning forward on the table. Her words all came out a teensy bit rushed, as they were prone to do when she was excited.

“Weren’t you just hating on that chick yesterday? What changed your mind?” Michael was halfway through his eggs, and three-quarters of the way awake. Sierra could be loud when she got excited, and he wasn’t looking to be all the way awake yet.

“Hush, your leader is speaking. Anywho, she is not a chick, she is a queen. She is also perfect for one pseudo dad floor advisor we know.” Sierra was swatting at Kaykay, who was barely awake, trying to get her to pay attention to her all-knowing speech. Kaykay to her credit, hummed in agreement, albeit with her eyes closed.

“Wait, perfect as in like dating?” Luke looked almost disgusted at the idea of two people in a relationship. Crystal almost let Luke catch her smiling, but hid it at the last second. Crystal guessed he was still in the ‘girls have cooties’ phase, and it amused her to no end.

“She’s pretty cool.” Kaykay's words were soft with sleep, but there was enough of a lull in the conversation from everyone to hear her. “She’s on the soccer team with me.”

“As the most responsible person here, I cannot condone this and will not partake in any scheme you may or may not dream up. However, I also know I can’t stop you. Please just don’t do anything too stupid.” Crystal was sipping a glass of tea, trying not to look bemused by the idea of Hood in a relationship. Even though he was only a year younger than her, she reminisced on her own young love. It would be good for him, Crystal thought to herself. Plus, she had seen you around the library quite a bit. The two of you had chatted, and Crystal already liked you. Maybe she wouldn't have an active role in the forging of the relationship, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t support it.

“I dunno. I’d have to meet her before I could make a judgment on whether she’s good enough for Hood.” Even though Micahel didn’t care to admit it, Hood was the dad to their little group of misfits. Michael didn't want him to get hurt, especially if it would be their fault.

Sierra was grinning her ‘I’m a genius and this is genius’ grin again. “Oh, trust me. She is.”  

…

You were lying on a couch in the commons when their gaggle found you, chewing forbidden gum and texting on a forbidden phone. You had seen them approaching, but still didn’t care enough to put your phone away. You hadn’t taken either of the girls you met last night as a snitch, and from the looks of the girl in the against dress code denim jacket, you were probably right to assume the same about all of them.

“Sup kiddies.” You didn’t even glance up at them. If they weren’t screaming, it wasn’t an emergency. And if it wasn’t an emergency, it wasn’t worth looking up from your intense game of 8-ball for.

“We require assistance.” Sierra was acting as the pseudo leader of the group, speaking up before the others got the chance.

“In what form? We talking ‘hide a body’ or ‘I got locked out’  kind of assistance?” This time you looked up, taking in seven sets of eyes upon you, including Crystal and a different senior you didn’t know. Immediately, you were suspicious. Why would two seniors be needing your help?

“More of the second one, but also not.” You sighed and stood up, stretching as you did so. Nothing like a second-day, midafternoon crisis to get your blood flowing.

“What’s up?” You introduced yourself to the rest of the bunch and gave a quick nod to Crystal. “You’ve got me for 20 minutes and then I have a soccer practice. Actually, you do too, Kaykay.”

“This won’t take long. You have extra library privileges since you're a RA, right?” Sierra took off as soon as you stood up, the rest of the group following, clearly already knowing whatever plan they had formed. You stayed silent, waiting for them to explain more before you promised to be able to help. It was a bit confusing why they needed your help since Crystal actually worked in the library.

“Moving on. We wanna rent out a study room for a little bit this evening and...,” there was a pregnant pause as they all made eye contact between Sierra’s words, “study.”

“Yeah, I’m still not seeing how any of this involves me.” You were near the back next to Crystal, noting Sierra’s wild hairstyle and purple lip gloss, and Kaykay’s various piercings. The group didn’t exactly seem like the rule following type, which made you even more perplexed for their need for you. What could they be getting at?

“We need you to persuade the librarian to bump one of the study room spots open. They’re all filled.” Ah, finally, the truth came out. Luckily for them, you had made good with the librarian after spending most of your free time with her. Being the new kid, plus the pressure from your parents to keep your grades up, equaled having you living in the library. But none of them knew that except for Crystal.

The need for your help in the library made you pause for a second. Crystal worked in the library. She could definitely be of more help than you, and you were pretty sure everyone in the group knew it.

“They like you. They just don’t know how to ask to hangout with you in a normal way.” Crystal lowered her voice, almost whispering. She loved her little band of misfits, but their methods were...unique sometimes. Crystal still tried to support them as much as she could, even if she had to spoil their dramatics sometimes.

“Ah. I see.” You nodded thoughtfully. Crystal was a level headed person. But you could tell she definitely had a fun side, too. “Follow my lead?”

After a smirk and a quick nod, you tried to act thoughtful for a second.

“I dunno. Ms. Robins is a real rule follower. It’s gonna be a hard sell to get her to bend the rules our way. I might need some incentive to help me want to risk getting caught.”  And just like that you had a scheme of your own.

“What are you saying?” Michael, he said his name was, was eyeing you. It was pretty clear he didn’t trust you. It wasn’t your problem, but you figured you should try and look approachable as a new RA.  After all, it was kind of your job.

“Just that. Like, if someone was to offer to buy me a coffee as a thank you, I would be much more willing to take part in your little scheme.” Luke, the young one, opened his mouth as if to deny your calling what they were doing a scheme. “Don’t even deny it, boyo. This is most definitely a scheme.”

The younger kid huffed out a ‘fine,’ easily defeated.

“Back to the matter at hand. What’s in it for me?” You smirked back at them, adrenaline buzzing through your veins.

You could have sworn you heard Kaykay mutter ‘a boyfriend.’

Sierra covered, not that you were sure anything was actually said. “Ashton has a car. He can take you to town and stuff.”

You made eye contact with Ashton, the one who allegedly had a car. It was a bit tempting. Really tempting. There was a coffee shop on campus, and you had a keurig in your room, but it was nothing compared to the taste of mass-manufactured Dunkin Doughnuts coffee. Plus, off campus meant no uniform. That was a win enough.

“Well, then. I think we have ourselves a deal.”  You could already taste the coffee.

…

God, these kids were not slick. You were chatting with Ms. Robins about nothing in particular, not even broaching the subject of the study rooms. You knew Ms. Robins would bump one if you asked, but it was way more fun to do it the hard way. It was kind of funny to watch the little group you were with try to be slick and spy on the conversation without getting spotted, but not one of them was successful.

“Hey, is the room for RAs empty?” There was a study room set aside for RAs when they needed a break from the typical chaos on the floors of the dorms. You wouldn’t call it secret, per say, but you could agree that not well-known was a fitting term.

“Of course dear. It’s all yours if you want it. Do you need the key?”

You said no and thanked the kinder older lady. It was like you said, sometimes it was more fun to do it the hard way.

Everyone gathered around as you walked back to where Crystal and Ashton had been sitting and chatting.

“Bad news. Robins wouldn’t budge.”  You sighed and leaned on the table suppressing a smirk. You had to draw them in first to have a big reveal.

“Damn.” Ashton swore under his breath.

“But…” You raised your finger and cocked your head, finally allowing a grin to cross your face. “I know a secret room.”

“A what?” You finally had Kaykay’s attention, at least. Probably the secret part of your sentence.

“A secret room. Follow.” The floor advisor study room was at the very end of the hallway and had the overhead light above the door flickering, which only added to the “secret room” illusion.

Michael reached the door first, shaking the older knob, which did not open. It was locked, after all. “What now?”

They all looked at you expectantly, but you had come prepared.

“Step aside, peasants.” You whipped out your student I.D., sliding it into the gap between the door and the frame. With a quick swipe and twist of your wrist, the door opened with a click.

Sierra looked like she could hug you, Luke was already in the room, and Michael nodded his head approvingly. Ashton and Kaykay both gave you a high five, though.

“You gotta teach me how to do that!” Kaykay was practically beaming at you, as if you were the coolest person she knew.

“Uh, no. There’s no telling what you would do with that knowledge.” Crystal crossed her arms, but she winked at you as she crossed the threshold into the room.

“Alrighty. Kaykay and I have to get a move on lest we want to run laps til we puke. Enjoy don’t destroy kiddos.” You shut the door behind you and Kaykay, grinning at your little rhyme.

…

“So?” Sierra was excited, and for good reason. She was right. You were perfect, both in general and for Hood.

“Alright, Si, you got me. She’s pretty cool.” Michael was letting his features transform to a smile, ready to hear out the rest of Sierra’s plan. It was official. He was now an accomplice.

“I like her. She’s...fun.” Ashton was studying the corners of the room, finding it up to his posh standards. There was no way this was just a “secret hidden” room, but he didn’t particularly care to give up their new friend’s ruse. “But I’m with Crystal. I’m not going to be a willing participant.”

Sierra gave him her best puppy dog eyes. She had already planned up to step twelve of your and Hood’s relationship, and they would need Ashton’s help if they wanted to get past step five.

“Fine. I will not be an active participant.” They were relentless. Ashton knew that if he didn’t agree now, he’d end up caving later. Might as well agree now on his own terms.

“I think she’s cool. You don’t meet very many people who know how to pick locks any more. Hey, did you guys know that that specific type of lock is actually-” Luke was starting to spiral into obscure facts, as he did sometimes.

“Good, so we're all in agreement.” Sierra was ready. It was time to tell everyone the first few steps of operation “lovebirds.”

The name was a work in progress.

….

You had been adopted. Well, in a way you were. The group from the library had adopted you as one of their own, but you had already adopted all of them as your children. Minus Crystal and Ashton, of course. They had also adopted the younger kids, Crystal in a maternal way and Ashton in an uncle sort of way. But a fun uncle.

You had been eating with them at meals, walking to and from the various buildings with each other, even turning the lounge you had broken them into into your own little hangout. It was kind of nice to be a part of their own little family.

That’s exactly what it was. A family. There was just one piece missing. The “dad”.

“Hood”.

Pretty much all the younger kids did was talk about him, making it clear that he was basically their dad. And that he was a “super cool person if you didn’t count the stick up his ass,” according to Kaykay. You had yet to find out his name. Well, his real name. Apparently, he was the RA to your own brother dorm in Lincoln house and you had still yet to meet him. He was clearly a huge part of this group, though. That just kind of added to your puzzling view of him.

He most definitely was a mystery.

Whenever you brought him up to the group, all they did was look at each other and do a poor job at hiding their smiles. You ignored it for the most part, though. If you were destined to meet Hood, you would. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t.

Still you couldn’t help but wonder about him. Who he was, what he watched on Netflix, what he looked like.

You were in fact thinking about these very things in your morning elevator ride up to your first class of the day. You were still kind of out of it, only on your second cup of coffee and still in your zombie mode.

But, you were awake enough to hear a voice calling out to stop the elevator. And lucid enough to stick your hand in the doors a second before the closed.

Into the elevator rushed a guy about your age, taller and definitely cute. His dark hair was kind of shaggy, but that only added to his appeal for you.

“Thanks.” His voice was deep, but still soft. If you were any more awake, you’d ask for his number.

“No problem.” Instead of laying on the moves, you resigned yourself to taking another long slurp of your coffee, relaxing back against the railing of the elevator.

“You, um, you have something in your hair.” You looked up at him, cocking your eyebrow. Of course you had something in your hair. With the cutest guy you've met at this school thus far staring at you. Yet again, the stranger burst into your thoughts. “Can I get it for you?”

“That’d be great. I’d hate to walk around looking like an idiot all day.” You gave him your most witty, charming smile as you turned to face elevator guy.

“Got it.” You gave him a smile in lieu of a thanks, trying not to embarrass yourself any further. It was unlikely, but hey, worth a shot. It was then elevator guy chose to mutter something under his breath.

“I’m sorry?” With all the muttering that was happening lately you were starting to contemplate getting your hearing checked. It’d be a worthy investment. You were under the impression that private school kids would be a bit more poised and able to speak a touch more clear. You were wrong yet again.

“Um, your hair smells nice.” Elevator guy was now a bright shade of red. Like a cute tomato. You looked down at your shoes, rolling your lips into your mouth but smiling. Yeah, definitely still smiling.

“Thanks.” You were smirking at him now. You kinda liked having all the power in the elevator, considering elevator guy looked like he was ready to die at any second now. “I’d repay the compliment but I’ve yet to catch a whiff of your shampoo.”

“I’m Cal.” He stuck out his hand, as if suddenly remembering he went to private school. A handshake, like you two were CEOs of companies or something. It was endearing. You took another sip of your coffee, maintaining eye contact, before you reached your hand out and joined it with his.

You had just finished the last syllable of your name when the elevator pinged, announcing your arrival on your floor. You walked out of the elevator without another word, knowing that Cal’s eyes were following you the whole time.

[fics-and-shits]

Marvel Fic Recs

***smut

Tom Holland x Reader

Oneshots

The Interview (Actress!Reader) by @bigballofstress​

You’re Tom Holland’s costar and girlfriend since the end of Civil War. Usually, you go on interviews together, but this time, you are requested alone on Ellen.

Cinderella (Actress!Reader) by @thewackywriter​

Who knew that going to another boring award show and walking around barefoot would lead her right to her Prince Charming?

Drop the Mic by @young-and-bitchy​

You’re in a rap battle with Tom Holland. 

Vlogs by @spideyyeet​

Being in the vlog squad was dope af but having David Dobrik run into Tom Holland and getting him to surprise you was a whole other thing. Now let’s see what’s it like to have Tom meet the vlogsquad and be with the girl that’s making him rethink some decisions.

Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Oneshots

Send to All Pranks (Actress!Reader) by @thrandybaby​

You’re a British actress appearing on the Michael McIntyre Chat Show, but hilarity ensues at your expense when you accept the challenge to play the infamous ‘Send to All’ prank.

Morning After by @mindrunningfree​

After a drunken night out, you wake up in a stranger’s bed, and on a scale of one to ten, your level of confusion is a fifteen.

Platonic!Avengers Cast x Reader

Oneshots

Beliefs (Teen!Reader) by @supersoldierfreak​

A group press conference with the Avengers cast where you reveal your political views.

Sleeping Beauty by @chrixa​

You didn’t know that the Avengers cast can also be called sneaky paparazzi. Also you love sleeping. Who doesn’t, right?

Handmade With Love by @capsicletho​

Christmas is the time to give your loved one some gifts. What happens when you give your famous second family something handmade?

Clint Barton x Reader

Series

Agent 41 (Agent!Reader) by @nacho-bucky​

An easily-distracted SHIELD agent with a sweet tooth and too many pairs of sneakers. Nothing ever quite works out the way she wants. But hey - it does work out! Usually

Peter Parker x Reader

Oneshots

Clingy Peter Parker by @spider-bih​

A clingy Peter Parker and the reader loves it

Anything For You by @pparkerwrites​

Introducing Peter Parker, dog whisperer by day, Spiderman and dog whisperer by night.

Series

Far From You Trilogy and Blurbs by @hey-marlie​

Y/N Stark is really not here for this European school vacay because in this post-endgame world, she’s mourning the loss of her dad. But one (1) sticky boi Peter Parker is just trying to be the friend he once was while also trying not to flirt too much because if she rejects him (which she wouldn’t, not that he knows that) while they’re in Venice, holy hell he’ll just pitch himself off the gondola right then and there.

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Oneshots

Sparks (Enemies to Lovers AU) by @sunriserose1023​

You and Bucky started off on the wrong foot and it’s just been downhill ever since, and the last time you gave him a chance, you ended up with five broken ribs. It’s just not meant to be.

Cheap Thrills by @avengerofyourheart​

A bet within the Avengers becomes a battle of the sexes, with you at the center of it. Who will be victorious and could it somehow help you snag the man of your dreams?

Air B&E (Enemies to Lovers AU)  by @avengerofyourheart​

When a mission requires close proximity with your least favorite teammate, you try to make the best of it, but a change in plans adds new challenges and possibly a new opportunity.

Notebook (College AU) by @softlybarnes​

 Bucky and Y/N sit next to each other all semester. They never talk to each other, until one day they do. 

The Florist  // The Beekeeper // The Pumpkin Carver (Enhanced!Reader) by @softlybarnes​

Bucky and Y/N make flower crowns together. Both reveal more than they plan to.

Freckles (Drunk!Reader) by @softlybarnes​

The Reader likes Bucky’s freckles a whole lot.

The Regular by @brooklyn-boy​

Bucky Barnes is a regular at your bar. He comes in, he makes sure trouble stays away, and then he leaves. This really wouldn’t be a problem if he weren’t so good looking and you weren’t totally in love with him.

Fourth Time’s the Charm by @brooklyn-boy​

Bucky remembers the three times he meets a certain thief, and is blindsided by the fourth.

Trepidation by @brooklyn-boy​

You’re rescued from HYDRA by the Avengers, only to be met with a ghost of the past in the form of Bucky Barnes. They tell you he was brainwashed, that it wasn’t him, but you aren’t so sure.

Blink Twice by @brooklyn-boy​

Zemo kidnaps Bucky and injects him with some sort of drug that paralyzes him and takes away his ability to speak. He’s meant to die alone, in a ditch like he was supposed to back in 1944. But then someone finds him…

Uptown Boy (30s AU) by @brooklyn-boy​

You’ve spent so long pretending to be a selfish, conceited, spoiled little rich girl that somewhere along the way, the line was blurred. Now faced with an ultimatum, you have to decide if your pride is worth the only person who’s ever truly loved you.

The Scoop (POC Journalist!Reader) by @brooklyn-boy​

Bucky Barnes laments the fact that every single person he cares about is a dumbass when it comes to their own personal safety. He also hates every single journalist, newscaster or reporter he’s ever met until you.

Who Are You Trying to Fool by @notimetoblog​

A perfect chance of messing with new recruits presents itself to Bucky. Can he pull it off or will you foil his plan?

We’re Gonna Need a Bigger House by @sunmoonandbucky​

You find the courage to tell Bucky about your latest ultrasound.

But Here I Am (Agent!Reader) by @sunmoonandbucky​

After years of being separated from the Avengers, Bucky finds you during a job.

Take it Easy, Romeo by @sunmoonandbucky​

The Soldat remembers one person through it all.

***A+ (Dark!Professor Bucky x CollegeAged!Reader)by @chixkencxrry​

You thought that all your credits had been complete, but a glitch in the system forces you to take a summary course in order for you to graduate. Insert Professor Barnes, your history professor who’s a total ass.

A Year of Firsts (College AU) by @whitewolfbumble​

Part One // Part Two

It wasn’t supposed to be a year of firsts, but then you met Bucky and everything started to fall into place.

13 Cats and a Sorceress by @kentuckybarnes​

Beings from another dimension start to invade New York City, and cats invade Avengers Tower.

Sounds Like a Personal Problem (Law Firm AU) by @kentuckybarnes​

Part One // Part Two

“Remember that favor you owe me?” “Uh-oh”

Pulling Rank (Agent!Reader) by @kentuckybarnes​

A mission has gone badly, and you have a reckoning.

Start With My Name (Medic!Reader) by @kentuckybarnes​

Part One // Part Two

Things get out of hand at a strike mission against Hydra, and you’re responsible for cleaning up the mess.

It Doesn’t Mean Anything (Until it Does) (Agent!Reader) by @cordytriestowrite​

The things that you and Bucky do don’t mean anything so just drop it okay?

Vulnerability (Modern AU) by @mareli-carter​

“We’re both in small claims court and I got into a huge fight with the person suing me but you stepped in to hold me back before security got there.”

Important by @mareli-carter​

“I did that annoying thing where I put loads of smaller boxes inside one big box, and you’re getting really mad, but I can’t wait to see your face when you open the smallest box.”

Two Punks In Love (40s AU) by @jaamesbbarnes​

Years go by but the way you and Bucky care for each other doesn’t change. You’re still the punk who starts fights with anyone breathing in the wrong direction, he’s still a charming little fucker.

Bulletproof (Agent!Reader) by @jaamesbbarnes​

You and Bucky are the most competitive little shits there ever was.

Fair Play (Agent!Reader) by @jaamesbbarnes​

After a rough mission, you and the team go to Coney Island for some fun. Still injured, you can’t go on the rollercoaster with the others so Bucky decides to keep you company and to make your day as memorable as possible.

Saving the Day by @jaamesbbarnes​

On your way back home, you are being followed by a couple of creeps. When your eyes fall on the most impressive and handsome Avengers, you don’t think twice and find yourself a fake boyfriend and savior.

I’m Not Going Anywhere by @jaamesbbarnes​

Working for Stark isn’t always a walk in the park, it’s exhausting. But a certain super soldier and his constant flirting make it bearable. 

Emergency Room (Doctor!Bucky) by @jaamesbbarnes​

Who would have thought that going to the ER could made a bad night turn pretty nicely?

Series

Holiday Heist (Thief!Bucky, Modern AU) by @avengerofyourheart​

When the art gallery you manage is robbed on Christmas Eve, you suspect the handsome stranger who flirted with you earlier in the day, but instead of involving the authorities, you take matters into your own hands with surprising consequences.

Flour Girl (Enemies to Lovers AU) by @avengerofyourheart​

Discovering the cute guy you just flirted with is the heir of a rival bakery, you suddenly find yourself running into him all over the city. Can your small boutique bakery compete? And how do you deal with the guy who seems determined to make your life a living hell? Luckily you’re distracted by a secret admirer…But who is he? 

Playing With Fire (Modern AU) by @sunriserose1023​

Some things just do not mix. Oil and water. Fire and gasoline. You and Bucky Barnes. When it was good, it was great, but when it was bad, it destroyed everything in its path. You’d tried–both of you had–but some things just aren’t meant to be. A year after your break up, Bucky gives you a call, and you willingly dive headfirst back into his orbit. You set boundaries this time, put up walls, determined to keep yourself from being burned again. You’re not about to let him get too close. Only problem? Bucky didn’t get that memo.

***Incubus (Incubus!Bucky) by @after-avenging-hours​

When some of the best sex of your life leads to the unveiling of a world you barely even knew existed, you know you’re in a heap of trouble. James Buchanan Barnes is the kind of man that fills your deepest and darkest fantasies, mainly because he is one. When emotions get involved in a relationship that’s been founded on sex, there’s no turning back. And honestly, you’re not even sure if you want to.

***Disney Corruption by @after-avenging-hours​

Bucky joins you for your late-night Disney movie sessions.  It’s difficult for him to get through them without finding the sexual innuendos

***Hunter!Bucky by @after-avenging-hours​

Bucky is part of the hunting party for the village.  One day, he catches you in the woods, long after you should be tucked away, safe in the village.

Heartbeat (Soulmate AU) by @after-avenging-hours​

Soulmate AU where your heartbeat matches the beat of your soulmate’s; they speed up together, slow down together, skip at the same time, but that means they also stop together… 

I’ll Be Seeing You by @brooklyn-boy​

The Howling Commandos come across a tortured Italian woman in the winter of 1944. With only rudimentary means of communication, Sergeant Bucky Barnes still somehow finds himself falling in love.

Siren’s Song by @brooklyn-boy​

The Avengers come across the profile of an enhanced individual, missing and presumed still under HYDRA’s control. With the power to bend anyone’s will with just a command, the team decides to prioritize freeing this individual. But trust is hard to earn from a former HYDRA asset. Nobody knows this more than Bucky.

Clan of Three (Mandalorian!Bucky) by @brooklyn-boy​

Bucky Barnes is a Mandalorian bounty hunter. All he has to do is take this kid and her glorified babysitter back to the client and be done with it. That’s it. Simple?

Revival by @brooklyn-boy​

Bucky returns to his childhood home only to discover its inheritor struggling to return it to its former glory. Luckily for you, Bucky’s memory isn’t that bad.

Compromised by @brooklyn-boy​

As a Senator for New York, you’ve been fighting hard to have Sergeant James Barnes acquitted. An attempt on your life by a new terrorist sect brings you in contact with the Avengers themselves, and even closer to the man you’ve been working so hard to protect…

Uptown Girl (Millionaire!Bucky, Modern AU) by @brooklyn-boy​

Epilogue

Bucky Barnes is a bit of an eccentric millionaire. He lives alone, aside from his housekeeper/personal assistant. When his mother tells him he needs to get married or be cut off, Bucky lies and tells his mother that his long-suffering assistant is his fiance.

Out of Time by @brooklyn-boy​

On the run from HYDRA in 2023, you accidentally use your time-traveling technology to jump 80 years back in time. Safe for the time being and with Howard Stark vouching for the legitimacy of your time travel claims, you’re stuck in the SSR headquarters until you can fix your gear. Which wouldn’t be half as hard if a certain James ‘Bucky’ Barnes wasn’t so damn distracting…

Stereotypical (Model!Bucky, Modern AU) by @avasparks​

As a PA/secretary, you are all too familiar with the fantasies nearly all men share: banging their hot assistant. Former jobs haven’t worked out for you for that exact reason, and now starting out at a new company, as the secretary for the CEO of the hottest modeling agency in the country, you’re hoping this one will be different. But after meeting your new boss, Mr. J.B. Barnes, you’re not so sure if it will be. Then again, maybe Mr. Barnes is not as stereotypical as you think he is.

Sugar (40s AU) by @softlybarnes​

By a miracle of fate, Bucky Barnes does not fall off of the train. He does not spend decades as a brainwashed assassin. Instead, he goes home to Brooklyn to spend his life with a girl he adores, a snarky nurse that he met during the war.

Two Kingdoms (Royals AU) by @softlybarnes​

Y/N, set to be a queen, is taken on her wedding day by King James, the ruler of another land. At first glance, James’ Kingdom seems to be thriving but Y/N soon realizes something darker and more sinister is at work in James’ land. And she seems to be at the center of it.

City Love (CEO!Bucky, Modern AU) by @chrevastan​

You attend one of Natasha’s office parties against your will and end up meeting a charming stranger who turns out to be the person who runs the company.

Next to Me by @sgtjbuccky​

After an attempt on you and your identical twin’s life, your father calls in the Avengers for protection. Bucky soon realizes your father’s goal is solely to keep you sister safe, and decides that the times of doing the bidding of others are long gone, and takes your protection into his own hands.

Most Wanted (Thief!Bucky, Modern AU) by @sgtjbuccky​

The life you dreamed of wasn’t the one you lived. Day in and day out you tried to change the outcome, but somehow you always ended up right where you began. Fed up with it all, you wished upon a star and was granted with Bucky Barnes, and it wouldn’t take you long to realize that whatever mess you were about to get tangled up in, it would change your life entirely.

Merry and Married (Modern AU) by @sunriserose1023​

It’s been almost a year since the most humiliating moment of your life. You’ve done your best to move on—by literally moving across the country, starting a new job, and you’re finally starting to feel settled. That, of course, is when your bubblehead cousin sends you the invitation to her wedding—which is exactly one year to the day that you were left at the altar. You have to go, but you don’t have to go alone.

Astrophile (Firefighter!Bucky, Single Dad AU) by @all1e23​

Orion Rebecca Barnes’s favorite thing in the whole world (Besides her daddy of course) was spending hours after school in the bookstore by her house. Aunt Nattie takes her every time her dad has to work an overnight shift at the station and it’s her absolute favorite place. Plus, the owner GIVES her any book she wants because she’s the coolest girl Ori has ever met. It didn’t take long for Bucky to notice his daughter’s sudden interest in constellations and the large stack of astrology related books piling up in her room. He’s spent her entire life trying to teach her about the stars and where her name came from with little interest from his little comet and all of sudden she’s in love?

To Build a Home (Family AU) by @ussgallifreyfics​

The glimpses into a life Bucky never thought was possible for himself. A world where he would find someone who he could love and be loved in return - a person he could start a family with. This is how an ex-assassin navigates the world of parenthood.

Not Happening (Modern AU) by @notimetoblog​

An online dating site clearly makes a mistake when it matches you with the one person you cannot stand.

Hero For Hire by @delicatelyherdreams​

Tired of constantly being sat on the sidelines for missions, Bucky Barnes decides that he’s going to do his own hero work and offer his services to the public as a freelance “hero for hire.” He expects to be asked to rescue cats from trees or help little old ladies cross the street, but he doesn’t expect to get tangled up in your life. He definitely doesn’t expect to fall for you either. But, when you’re a hero for hire, you’ve gotta see the mission through.

<<p>Stray by @jaamesbbarnes​

When Bucky stumbles upon a stray cat near his building in Bucharest and takes him in, he doesn’t expect for his world to turn upside down.

Schlaflos (Rogers!Reader) by @mareli-carter​

Steve’s younger sister, a nurse during the Second World War, finds herself in Hydra’s possession after trying to help the Howling Commandos save Bucky.

The White Wolf (Mobster!Bucky) by @captain-ariel-barnes​

James “Bucky” Barnes is the most feared man in New York. What happens when a flower shop owner gets tangled up in his empire?

Sly as a Fox (Vigilante!Reader, SocialMedia AU) by @sunmoonandbucky​

After the blip, the Avengers continue on with business as usual.  But they soon find out that while they were away, someone took it upon themselves to do the job they left behind.

A Lesson in Love (College AU) by @buckyywiththegoodhair​

In which you’re assigned to write a story about romance, a subject you know nothing about, and Bucky, a hopeless romantic, offers you his assistance.

***Artistic License (Sugar Daddy AU) by @cametobuyplums​

Once upon a time in Paris, there was an aspiring creative down on her luck. What’s a beautiful young woman to do? Agree for the wealthy Bucky Barnes to be her Sugar Daddy, of course.

I’m With You (Modern AU) by @wkemeup​

When two strangers meet on a layover in the Charlotte Airport, they are sent on a whirlwind weekend filled with cancelled flights, painful questions over giant checkers, an ex-boyfriend’s wedding, and a confrontational graduation. They find that a lifetime can sit in the span of three days and it doesn’t take very long at all to fall in love.

Flowers Bloom (Soulmate AU) by @revengingbarnes​

Whenever someone is injured, flowers bloom on their soulmate at the area of the wound. You are born with flowers around your entire left shoulder.

Agent 28 (Agent!Reader) by @kentuckybarnes​

He’s a Soviet-trained assassin. You’re a secret agent. He has a thing for thigh holsters. You have a thing for his behind (who doesn’t?) But it’s all hush-hush. What shenanigans will the two of you get into to keep your affair concealed from the rest of the Avengers, all while you’re trying to save the world?

Howler & The Black Cat (Vigilante!Bucky x Vigilante!Reader) by @kentuckybarnes​

By day, you’re just another employee at Stark Tower. By night? A justice-seeker known as Black Cat. No one knows your secret, and certainly not your sometime partner in vigilante activity, sometime-pain in the butt Romeo, Howler. But no matter how hard he tries, you have no intention of giving in…

While You Were Sleeping (mentioned Steve Rogers x Reader) by @kentuckybarnes​

Mistaken as Captain America’s girlfriend following a near-death experience, you keep up the pretense under the suspicious eyes of his best friend, Bucky Barnes. But soon you find out that Steve Rogers isn’t all he’s supposed to be, and somehow, Bucky is so, so much more.

Don’t Sit Under the Apple Tree (40s!Bucky x OC) by @kentuckybarnes​

In 1941 Brooklyn, a young woman spends her nights sneaking out of her parents’ house to play jazz piano at clubs. Although she disguises herself to keep out of trouble, it doesn’t fool everyone.

Sugar Daddy’s (Modern AU) cowritten by @kentuckybarnes​ and @nacho-bucky​

Suave, confident, charming Bucky Barnes has a deep dark secret – and you, a small-town investigative journalist, are determined to get to the bottom of it. What lurks in his shadowed past, and how deeply will you be drawn in? Co-written with @caitfairwrites!

Seven-Thirty (Modern AU) by @nacho-bucky​

You were planning on a productive — if lonely — weekend, but the little girl across the hall has different ideas about how you and Bucky Barnes should be spending your time.

Lemon Pie (40s AU) by @nacho-bucky​

Moments measured in messy days and peaceful nights; in too-tart pies and slobbery toys. Bucky returns from war to find a life he never expected: a rich symphony of mishaps and mayhem and immeasurable love.

​

[theamateurblogger]

Hewwo I love your stuff. Can you do a male s/o with all them slasher boys. Hcs but if you want you can do like, Tommy for a one shot. Idc if its sfw or nsfw

Thank you!!! I hope you like this!!!

Otis Driftwood

Otis is a thirsty ass fucker, not gonna lie

From an outside perspective, it would be easy to assume that he’s only with you for the sex

But let’s be real, if he wanted just sex, he would’ve stuck to his corpses

He loves you, whether he wants to admit it out loud or not

Constantly has his arm around you or touching you in some way

Just a way to stake a claim around others (and to prevent you from running)

But deeeeep down, he does it to make sure you’re okay

Always has to keep you in his sights “to make sure you don’t do something stupid” (like run)

Hugggge exhibitionist 

Seriously. It’s an issue. So, you’ll need to get real comfortable around the rest of the family

Chop Top

Chop Top is an actual dream to be in a relationship with

Plenty of arguments about who has better music taste and who gets to pick the playlist/radio station 

Out of everyone on this list, he’d be the most likely to propose 

He’d want a full on wedding with the family watching and victims’ bones used as decor

Kind of a traditional guy (besides the whole cannibalistic and maniacal tendencies ya know)

So expect some hesitancy from him to get serious with you

His knowledge of the LGBT+ community is very slim

But let’s be real, he had some fun with his fellow soldiers during his time in the war 

When he does give in to his love for you, he is absolutely obsessed with you

He’d tell victims stories about you and compare everything to you and things you do 

He likes your ass

A lot.

Expect to have it groped, slapped, and ogled at constantly

Would probably be super into roleplay (*cough* the Sonny wig *cough*)

He’s not good at it.

Michael Myers

Michael is…Michael?

You’ll be pretty confused with this guy

He just keeps following you around and you’re not dead yet???

You become more comfortable around each other and it just turns into comfortable silence and occasional situations where you need to ask him to hand you something

You’ll have to be the first one to initiate sex

It’ll be very awkward at first because you’ll have no fucking clue whether or not he’s even into it so you’ll just stop and walk away

And he kind of just doesn’t acknowledge any of what happened??? For like a week???

You’re aggravated and confused. (Told ya)

It takes you both a long time to navigate through your relationship

It doesn’t help that you can’t just…talk it out?

It’s all trial and error, but eventually you have a pretty domesticated relationship

He’s like a cat that is gone all day but comes home to you when he wants a nap

Freddy Krueger

Much like Otis, Freddy is a nasty fuck

And it would be hard for me to believe that your relationship isn’t prodominately about sex

We all know the backstory of Fredster and he’s not afraid to take what he wants

Very little boundaries

He’d go after nearly anyone who you come into contact with

It’s like a game to him

You’d honestly have to be just as batshit crazy as this guy

He really appreciates the element of surprise

Taking a bath? Now, you’re getting raw dogged at 3am, water splashing out of the tub

Trying to take an exam or you’re waiting in line at the DMV? He’s fucking with your mind the entire time

Walking down the hallway, trying to get a glass of water? BOO! Now he’s laughing his ass off at how much of a pussy you are

Charles Lee Ray/Chucky

Chucky is genuinely kind of an asshole

And I don’t think you’d change that

Buuuuut, that’s kind of what attracts most people to him right?

He’s kind of new to these feelings toward you

And it really fucks with his ego

Internalized homophobia anyone?

It’ll take time and patience for this guy

But I think it’ll be worth it in the end

He’d steal you all kinds of cool stuff

Plus, Chuck’s a total switch and I think it’d be fun to finally take him down a peg in the bedroom

Bubba Sawyer

Such a sweet baby

Please don’t ever hurt him

Bubba would bring you flowers and little trinkets he made from bone constantly

When he first meets you and wants to impress you, he makes sure to fix up his mask realll nice with his favorite lipstick and wears his best clothes

Even now that you’re his, he still just wants to make you happy and make sure that you know he’s putting in effort because he cares ya know?

Constantly needs reassurance from you

As much as he likes giving you affection and gifts, he nearly cries when you do those things for him!!!

Please spoil that man!

Loooves listening to music! Chop Top, Bubba, and you almost always spend your nights together listening to the radio

From everything I’ve read online as well as some choice scenes from the movies, I’m a full believer in the fact that not only is Bubba 100% pan and open to alllll kinds of lovin’, but he also has the biggest oral fixation known to mankind!!!

Thomas Hewitt

Thomas is a very different man than Bubba

He’s more rough with you and has full knowledge of what he’s doing

Definitely knows his size and will pick you up whenever he pleases

At the end of the day, he makes the rules

Doesn’t mean you can’t persuade him to do things that you want to do though

You’ll just have to make it up to him so he won’t be in a foul mood

Is a bit awkward with things

Especially around his family

I’ve said this already but Thomas definitely grabs things off of victims that he thinks you’d like!!!

Will probably try to wrap the items up! Will probably fail!

Nubbins Sawyer

Nubbins is such a cutie!!!

He loves you so much

I’ve said this before too, but Nubbins would definitely have a box full of photos he took of his S/O

He treasures them the absolute most

You know those little cute polaroid walls? He def has one of pictures of you and him

He’s also the most likely out of all the slashers to have a Pride flag hung up

He’s also an absolute handful.

Expect to wake up alone pretty often, because this dude just wants to take impromptu trips throughout Texas allllll the time

Sometimes you go with though

As he picks up cool roadkill from the side of the road, you pick up cool plants and maybe a lizard

As far as sex goes, he’s an absolute goof

He’s just so excited to have someone who wants to do these things with him

Lots of laughter

The Collector

Definitely a bit of a strange one

Literally. Stranger danger.

He first met you at a wildlife museum

And he just kept following you around

He even started targeting people that looked like you?

He just wanted the body parts to add to his collection

Without having to ruin the original

Eventually, he would kidnap you and lock you in his own personal “museum”

He’d show you his pieces every time he completed one

He’d bring you your favorite foods though which is nice

Then he’d watch you from the security cam he set up in your room

Brahms Heelshire

Such a needy boi

He likes to watch you

Secretively, in the walls

Orrr just sitting across from you, cross legged

You could be changing or you could be reading/watching TV

It doesn’t matter.

He’s always so infatuated by you

I really wish I could get behind the idea that Brahms is a huge sub and would call you daddy

But I just can’t???

He likes to have control.

There’s no way he’d want to give that up

You essentially have to trick him into doing anything around the house

So enjoy being his slave

The Other 

I guess this kind of depends on how far your relationship has been established

You probably started off as neighbors or maybe just acquaintances that ran into each other at the grocery story every once in awhile

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that he appreciates a good age gap and has more than enough experience with the opposite sex *wink* 

def a bi boi

His attraction to you didn’t go far beyond sexual at first, but then he seen how well you interacted with his daughter and that’s what broke him

I swear it’s like he has two personalities

When he’s out with you and your guys’ daughter, he’s a typical suburban husband/dad

Has a retirement plan, pays the bills, works his ass off in an average blue collar job, drinks beer with the bois and complains about your nagging

Also brags about how good you are to him and has no shame in his game

Purely domestic

But then??? When it’s just you two, it’s like a switch goes off where he doesn’t need to put on the act

He controls every aspect of you and your body; much like Brahms, he won’t be able to give up his control

He’s an absolute dom

Christian Grey ain’t got shit on what’s in his garage.

[michael-langdon-appreciation]

part 11 of the foursome please queen? ❤️

Your wish is my command. 

Hold onto tight and keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times please. 

Part 11

——————————————————————————————-

JIM

He knows he’s being a helicopter dad, but Jim can’t help himself. Nothing matter more in the world to him than the health of his little baby. It is paramount as he lifts his head up from Y/N’s laptop for the third night in a row. Her hand strokes his back gently, a cup of coffee wafts in front of his face as Jim blinks and rubs the sleep out of his eyes.

Y/N’s expression is forlorn, ‘You can’t keep doing this to yourself.’ She cautions, her voice light as if speaking to a nervous cat. ‘You’re burning yourself out.’

The research has become one big fog of mumbo jumbo for Jim anyway. He takes the mug of coffee and blows on it, ‘Anything I can do, anything I can try to help-’

‘You aren’t helping anyone by not taking care of yourself.’ 

Jim swallows a big gulp of coffee. It’s strong and a little too hot still as it travels down his throat, ‘You’re right.’ He mutters, putting the mug down. ‘I just-’

‘You just can’t help yourself.’ She finishes off, making Jim smile. 

‘Bingo.’ 

Y/N pulls up a seat beside him, sharing the desk space with him. She closes the laptop lid and ruffles Jim’s hair, ‘You’re going to be an incredible father.’ 

Bitterness burns Jim, the rage he still carries with him every single day. The outrage and spark for justice, that his baby is fighting for its life every day, every minute, every hour. His hand falls onto Y/N’s stomach, the bump noticeably prominent since Jim has been living at the apartment. ‘It’s only been two weeks,’ Jim mumbles. ‘But already they are getting so big.’ 

‘They are playing hell on my back.’ Y/N smiles, ‘Every time I wake up I feel completely wrecked.’ 

‘A good wrecked?’ Jim asked, ‘Like you used to say after we’d gone a few rounds?’ 

His hand squeezes her thigh as Y/N’s laugh fills the office, ‘You could say that I suppose. But a bath would usually fix me right up.’

‘Then that’s what you need.’ Jim decides, finding the energy to drag himself and Y/N to the bathroom. ‘A good long hot bath. Some aftercare, just like the old times.’ 

Jim starts running the tub, putting the plug in and dumping in some bath oils. Y/N watches him, her tongue poking out of her mouth, it’s adorable to Jim, mostly because Y/N never realises she does it. It’s a habit she displays whoever being spoiled. Usually Duncan was the most privy to it, but Jim’s vision seems to brighten as he drops a couple suds on her nose. ’Are you going to pamper me, Jim Mason?’ She asks, her voice coy. Y/N teases the bottom of her pyjama shirt, running her fingers along it to expose a hint of flesh. 

Jim’s eyes are glued to it, ‘Yes.’ 

‘Will you do whatever I want this morning?’ The top slips higher, revealing the bump and just under Y/N’s breasts. It reminds Jim of his favourite swimsuit at once, the one that teases him all day with the under-bust visible for everyone’s eyes. Jim swallows, forcing down the rush of blood that is running to his cock. 

This morning is about Y/N, not him. 

Y/N’s eyebrows rise, waiting for his answer and Jim supplies it on instinct. ‘Yes.’ 

She could have asked him to jump off Mount Everest and Jim would still say yes. 

Jim tugs off his own shirt, along with his trousers. ‘I’m getting in.’ He decides, ‘I think we are long overdue for some alone time away from Duncan and Jerome.’ 

Y/N climbs into the tub, waiting for Jim to take his place. ‘Such much male ego about the place, it’s nice to have some time just us.’ 

Jim leans back against the bath, his muscles singing at the hot water. Bubbles flutter around him as Y/N relaxes back against his chest, jasmine and honeysuckle trickle through the air as she presses a kiss to his chest. Jim’s eyes fall shut, his girl’s weight resting against him. His fingers dip into her hair, stroking gently. 

Paradise. 

How Jim took the simple things for granted. 

‘I’m glad you stayed.’ She murmurs, ‘You’re growing Jim. You put aside your temper and…possessiveness for the good of us and our baby.’ She peeps up at him, ‘That’s still so weird to me. Our baby.’ 

The chloroform rag dances in Jim’s mind and he squashes it immediately.

No.

He’s past that. 

Y/N right, never again will he resort to such levels. 

‘I was reading about this hospital in Philadelphia who specialises with difficult births.’ Jim reveals, ‘They have an incredible success rate. Most of the births happen in water and stuff so it’s natural and helps. You know, gravity and stuff.’ Y/N nods, her mind not really with him. Her eyes have that far-away look as Jim peers closer at her, ‘What is it?’

She hesitates, and then plunges on, a finger tracing over Jim’s chest. ‘I know you have your concerns.’ She begins, ‘But I believe with every fibre of my being that Michael will never let anything happen to our baby.’ 

‘It’s about precautions.’ Jim fights to keep the edge from his voice, ‘It’s about being in the right place. Michael is…many things but he isn’t infallible.’ 

‘I have faith in him.’ 

‘Yeah.’ The mood has been ruined for Jim, he’s over-heating in the hot water. He wants to be back at the laptop, just as he does every time the Antichrist is mentioned these days. 

‘You won’t keep him away Jim.’ Y/N’s voice too has hardened, ‘No one will be able to keep Michael from the birth of his child.’

‘As long as he stays back unless needed.’ Jim says, ‘And lets me have my moment with my child.’ 

Y/N’s eyes glint, ’Our child.’  

Jim smirks down at her, ‘My apologies, our child. Of course.’ His lips press against her forehead, ‘Our beautiful child.’ 

The moment relaxes, Y/N turning round to rest her back against Jim. His hands skirt over her belly, cupping water to pour over her exposed shoulders. ‘Have you thought about names yet?’ 

Jim thinks, ‘Not really.’ He admits, ‘I’ve been too focused on making sure the pregnancy goes well. That our baby survives.’ 

‘Maybe we could look up names that mean fighter, or survivor?’ 

Jim scrunches up his nose, ‘Nah, I don’t want this moment to define her.’ 

‘Her?’ 

‘Them.’ Jim corrects himself, ‘I feel it’s a girl.’ 

Y/N hums, ‘I’d like a girl and a boy.’ 

Jim grins, ‘Well what you want, baby. You get.’ 

Y/N splashes some water at him, ‘I’m not that entitled.’ She protests, ‘Not my fault Duncan likes to splash his cash.’ 

‘Yeah adding a specially modified twin baby-seat to his jet was real necessary.’ 

Y/N giggles against him, some of the water slopping out of the bath. ‘Oh absolutely.’ She grabs the shampoo bottle and squirts some into her hand, reaching for Jim’s head. ‘Either way, they will be…blank Mason.’ 

‘Blank?’

‘Till we have a name.’ She grins, ‘But the baby will carry your last name.’ 

‘I never expected anything less.’ 

The bathroom door swings open as Jerome walks in, newspaper in hand. Y/N freezes beside Jim, her hands stuck in his hair. Suds drip down Jim’s face as he makes sure Y/N is obscured by bubbles. Jerome recovers first, ‘Can I join?’

‘Get out!’ Jim bellows, tugging Y/N to him.

Jerome smirks, ‘You really should lock the door, that’s what it’s for.’ 

‘Out, Jerome.’ Y/N echoes watching as the Salesman backs out of the bathroom with a snicker. 

‘Well don’t be long.’ He calls, Shepherd is in the en-suite and you know it takes him an hour to do his beauty routine and my bladder won’t hold out that long.’ 

——————————————————————————————-

DUNCAN 

The bathroom door squeaks, the hinges protesting horribly as it is treated to yet around round of pounding. ‘You’d better be taking that long cause today’s the day.’

‘None of your business.’ Duncan calls back through the door. He smoothes a strand of hair into place, his fingers jumping through the array of hair products dumped along the sink. 

‘Come on man I’m dying.’ Jerome whines, ‘Y/N and Jim are having a precious moment in the bath and you’ve beaten your hourly record. I’m sure you’re beautiful, sport. Now let me in!’ 

Duncan sighs, opening the door as Jerome barges inside. ‘You’re welcome.’

Jerome stops his watch as he sits on the toilet, ‘An hour and twenty minutes, congratulations on the new record.’

‘Fuck you.’ Duncan turns back to the mirror as the Salesman starts undoing his belt, ‘Seriously?’

‘You won’t leave.’ The trousers fall down, ‘I’m desperate. This is what you get, buddy.’ 

Duncan rolls his eyes, abandoning the task. ‘Fine, but you’re cleaning up.’

‘Abuse the Nanny, I see how it is.’ 

Duncan slams the door shut and leans against the wall. He doesn’t know why he hasn’t left as he waits for Jerome to finish up, ‘Maybe today is the day.’

The toilet flushes and Jerome emerges, his eyes triumphant. ‘It’s about time. I’ve had to hide the ring twice to stop Jim finding it.’

Duncan’s insides twist. He is hiding this from Jim, isn’t he? 

Jerome leads the way to the kitchen, ‘So how are you doing it? Dinner? Walk by the beach? Take her up in the jet?’ 

Fear grips Duncan for the umpteenth time that day, ’I….don’t know.’

‘You’ve had two weeks.’ 

‘Someone else plans events for me.’ The panic is evident in his voice, but Duncan can’t calm himself down. He twists his fingers together, ‘My Mom or someone. I don’t do this kind of thing for anyone.’ 

‘Well it’s time to toughen up, cookie.’ Jerome starts cracking eggs into a pan. ‘If you don’t do it tonight, I’m telling her.’

‘You’re an asshole, you know that?’

‘Yes.’

Duncan groans, ‘Fine. Tonight I will do it.’ 

The bathroom door opens, Y/N emerging first in just a towel. She smiles at Duncan, before catching Jerome’s eye. ‘Be out in five for breakfast, thank you so much Jerome.’

The Salesman winks back at her, ‘Sure thing. Just no Round Two with Jimmy boy in the bedroom.’ 

Her cheeks flood with colour, her eyes skipping too Duncan. The spark of jealousy is there, but not as strong as before, as if the tip of the knife has been dulled. 

Duncan offers her a small smile, ‘When you’re out, can we talk?’

Y/N frowns, ‘Never good words, Duncan.’

‘I promise it is.’ 

She nods, ‘Sure. I’ll just-’

Jim appears in the doorway. A towel hangs low on his hips, exposing that perfect V sculpted from so much swimming and surfing. He flicks his wet hair out of his eyes, droplets dancing on his chest. ‘Do I smell bacon?’

‘In the oven.’ Jerome supplies, busy slicing peppers. 

Duncan tears his eyes from Jim to help with breakfast. From behind he can hear the shuffle of Jim as he shuffles into the spare bedroom while Y/N makes her way to Duncan’s. 

Jerome eyes him over the omelettes he’s got on the go, ‘You don’t get mad, seeing them like that?’

‘Like old times.’ Duncan says, pouring orange juice into four glasses. ‘You get used to it and cooking for four.’ 

There’s a slight pause, the absence of Michael echoing in the air. 

Duncan presses on, ‘Besides, Y/N sleeps with me every night. It’s only fair Jim gets to spend some time with her on their own.’ 

‘Seems like things are back to normal than for the three of you.’

‘It will never be normal without Michael.’ Duncan blinks, having spoken before he realises it. He brings the glasses onto the dining table and rests his hands on it. 

Jerome brings over the plates, ‘Well you said it. Not me.’ 

The weight of his words drags Duncan down. 

He misses Michael. 

It’s not that surprising. Not really. Michael has been there since Day One, a couple days after Duncan was released from prison. Together they scraped Duncan’s life back together, Michael giving Duncan a senior position with Kineros before the Media Mogul had enough to win back his empire. But Duncan cannot overlook what Michael has done. Every time he sees Y/N, sees that bump and how Jim isn’t functioning properly out of fear and desperation. He cannot forgive him for putting the two people he loves through hell. 

Maybe that is what Michael will always do.

He is the Antichrist. 

Jim emerges first. His denim jacket is strung over one arm as he takes a seat at the table, ‘You look like you’ve seen a ghost.’ 

‘More like thinking about one.’ 

Jim’s eyes flick down to his lap, ‘I miss him too.’

‘We all do.’ 

When Jim’s eyes flicker up again there’s something defiant in them. ‘It doesn’t change anything.’ He spits, ‘I won’t kill him when I see him, I won’t do anything stupid but I’m not having him near my kid.’

‘That’s your decision to make.’ Duncan nods, he knows it isn’t his place to fight Jim on what the beach boy thinks is best for his child. Duncan takes the seat opposite Jim and waits till Jerome is out of earshot before speaking. ’Does that mean…the plan is off?’

‘I…don’t know.’ Jim’s fingers run over his plate, ‘I kinda made a promise to myself not to do underhand shit again. Trying to be a better person.’

The ring flitters through Duncan’s mind.

He has to tell Jim.

If he doesn’t, he’s just as bad as Michael. 

Isn’t he? 

‘You two seemed to have a nice bath.’ 

Jim smiles, ‘It was nice, if not punctuated with Michael.’

‘He’s everywhere.’

‘Always.’ 

‘I’m going to ask Y/N to marry me.’ The words rush out of Duncan before he can stop himself. ‘I have a ring, I’ve had it for about two and a bit weeks now. Made my mind up before you came back.’ Jim’s eyes burn into him. He doesn’t say a word as Duncan rushes through his words, ‘You have a baby coming.’ He says, ‘Michael has a baby too. ‘I….’ Duncan gulps, ‘I have nothing. There’s nothing that ties me to her. To all of you, not in the same way. Nothing that meaningful or official. You’ll always be together because not only do you both adore each other, but you have a child to care for. I….I need something like that too. And the only way I can think to do that is to marry her-’

‘Okay.’

The air is punched out of Duncan’s lungs. ‘What?’

Jim’s eyes are soft. The softest Duncan has seen them in a very long time. His hand reaches out across the table and rests over Duncan’s. ‘I can’t imagine how hard it is for you. Seeing Y/N pregnant. You knew before anyone else and you’ve done nothing but respect her and me. You’re a good guy, Duncan.’ Jim presses his lips together, his eyes becoming glassy. ‘I know you’ll give her the life she deserves. I hope I can continue to be part of it, God I need it so bad. But you should marry her. You deserve each other, so…you have my blessing. If that’s what you want.’

Tear tracks drop down Duncan’s cheeks, he sniffles hard unable to keep himself in check. Jim stands and crosses round the table, Duncan stands too as Jim pulls him in for a hug. Duncan holds his Beach Boy as tight as he can, taking in the scent of jasmine lingering on his skin. ‘Thank you.’ 

‘Don’t cry.’ Jim orders, ‘Ask her, today. You put a ring on that finger and make it the most special proposal a girl has ever had.’

‘She still has to say yes.’ 

Jim smiles, ‘Do you think she’ll say no?’

‘Maybe!’

Jim chuckles, ‘She shares a bed with you, Duncan. You have nothing to worry about.’ 

They pull away as Jerome sets down breakfast. The Salesman is astute enough to make himself invisible, but Duncan catches his smile of approval. 

Bastard must have been listening in.

‘This doesn’t mean you aren’t in her life.’ Duncan is quick to say it as he takes his seat again, ‘It’s just like before, before this whole mess. When we’d go to dinner all of us and get up to…things under the table and have fun and love each other. That’s all I want.’

‘Just with babies added in the mix.’ Jim supplies, making Duncan smile.

‘I guess it was gonna happen someday.’

Jim glances at Duncan’s bedroom door, ‘As for the plan…I think we keep it on the back burner and see if we need it. She’s only like…three months right now. Anything could happen.’

Duncan downs his orange juice, wishing he could slip a little vodka in. ‘If that’s what you think is best, I’ll respect your decision.’ 

Y/N emerges, her hair up in a towel as she takes her place at the head of the table. ‘Sorry! I was trying to get the hairdryer to work but the fuse has blown. It’s just growling at me and might explode so….’

Jerome is the last to take his seat. Together the four begin eating, Duncan shoving his omelette down as fast as he can to try and settle his stomach. 

Jim is okay with it.

Jim said yes.

Now he has to do it. Now Y/N has to say yes too. 

Her eyes slide to Duncan, Y/N putting down her knife and fork, ‘So Duncan. What did you want to talk to me about?’ 

——————————————————————————————-

MICHAEL 

He knows the risk she is taking by seeing him. Michael has the evening set out with the most perfect precision. A finger straightens the wayward fork, just a centimetre off-kilter. Before it threw off the perfection of the night, but now, now Michael is sure that nothing can ruin the evening. He waits sitting in one of the chairs, his jacket pressed and freshly dry-cleaned. The velvet, so luxurious against his skin comforts him. The only friend he’s had for a month, the only touch he’s received. 

Tonight that all changes.

Tonight he will remind her why she loves him. 

Why it is he who she risks everything to see. 

The knock comes and Michael opens it with a wave of his hand. No one can see him at the door, he cannot trust Shepherd not to have had her followed. 

Y/N steps into the apartment, her eyes roving round the dark interiors. Everything is black marble and stonework, the high arched windows each a work of art. Michael rises to greet her, taking her coat in his hand. She hands it to him without giving anything away. Without the coat there, her baby bump is evident. Peeking through and smiling at him through her red dress. The dress Michael gave her, his beast purrs with satisfaction. 

It proves she cares. 

‘I am so glad you came.’ 

‘It isn’t right to deny you the chance to see your child.’ She says, ‘To have a part in the pregnancy.’ Michael’s arm beckons her to the dinner table, the single candle flickers and illuminates the two plates set out. The silverware glimmers as Y/N ventures closer, ‘This is very elaborate.’ 

‘You know that’s how I do things.’ He turns her round, capturing her lips with his before she can protest. Michael engulfs her, his arms holding her gently to him as he takes her breath away. He’s determined to give her his entire everything in one kiss. To show. To prove to her. When they slip apart, Y/N’s eyes are wide. She has that same look in her eyes she did that first night, when Michael stole their first kiss, sucked on those succulent lips and bruised them as he pounded into her. 

‘That may not be such a good idea.’ She whispers in the gap between their lips. 

‘Why, because of this?’ Michael lifts the ring, nestled on Y/N’s finger. ‘You must know I’d find out about it.’

‘It wasn’t a secret.’ Y/N pulls her hand, complete with the engagement ring out of Michael’s grip. 

‘I’m happy for you.’ 

‘Don’t lie. She scolds, crossing to the dining table. 

Michael’s jaw clenches, ‘Do I wish it was me, of course. But I understand Duncan’s desire to make you his. I know it all too well.’ 

‘You’ve made your claim pretty clear.’ 

Michael takes his seat opposite her, ‘Yes, I did.’ He uncorks the wine and pours a decent measure into her glass, Y/N holds it aloft in a practised manner for him. She makes sure to sample the wine with her engagement ring on show. ‘Let me guess, Harry Winston?’

‘You know my motto.’ Y/N smiles, ‘If it isn’t Harry…’

‘Don’t marry.’ Michael finishes, ‘You used to love singing that whenever we were in Barneys.’ 

‘Jim said I was spoiled.’ She says, ‘I think maybe he’s right.’ 

‘You are completely spoiled.’ Michael smirks, ‘But we can’t resist treating you. You’re so precious to us. I’d do anything for you.’

She nods, Y/N’s eyes flickering back round the apartment. She takes a long drink from her wine glass, ‘They’d be mad if they knew I was here.’

‘I’m sure they would.’ 

‘They don’t trust you.’ She offers, ‘But they do miss you. I heard them talking about you.’ 

‘I miss them too.’ Michael makes sure he is looking directly into her eyes, ‘They may think all I wanted was to put my child in you, but I want all of them.’

‘Seems like we all want the same thing.’ 

A silence falls as Michael rises to take dinner out of the oven. It’s takeout, he can’t cook for shit but he knows Y/N will appreciate it. He puts the steak with Bourderlaise sauce before her complete with new potatoes and asparagus. ‘I don’t think that’s exactly true.’ 

She doesn’t take a bite. Michael knows that Y/N knows him well enough to catch the subtly in his words. ‘Why am I here, Michael?’

Michael sighs, putting his own plate down. ’Straight to it then.’ He laces his fingers together, ‘I would give my life for you and our child. Do not think I don’t know my actions have caused me to be ostracised. Perhaps I was right to do so, perhaps I went too far. What I do know is the plan that Jim and your fiancee are planning. Something I will not let happen.’ 

She stares at him. ‘I am sick and tired of your drama, Langdon.’ 

‘Oh believe me, I would rather my own Grandmother rise from the dead before this happened.’ Michael’s tone has a bite, ‘You will hear me out.’ 

Y/N sits there, waiting for him to continue. She waves her hand, gracing him to do so. ‘When you check in for your next appointment, Duncan has the measures in place to abort my child-’

‘Our child.’ 

‘Our child.’ Michael nods, ‘It’s been in place for rather a while now, but ever since the Doctor’s last reports indicated the runt’s trouble with getting enough nutrition they’ve become desperate.’ Michael leans forwards, ‘When you next go in, they will drug you and remove our baby. They will kill it, the monster, to ensure Jim’s lives.’ 

He watches as the horror slowly expands all over Y/N’s face. ‘You’re a liar.’ 

Michael’s hand slams on the table, ‘I have NEVER lied to you.’ 

She’s stuck to her seat, completely frozen in place. ‘I…won’t let them.’ 

‘They won’t give you that choice.’ The Antichrist explains, ‘It’s already been decided for you. They’re going to force your hand.’ 

‘I can’t believe you.’ 

‘Because you thought they had changed.’ Michael nods, ‘I had hope for Shepherd. I thought he would be shining example for the rest of us. But sadly, it isn’t the case.’

‘I won’t marry him. I’ll fight it. I’ll go and challenge them about it right now.’ She stands, heading for the door. ‘Why would you go through all this just to tell me!’ She demands, ‘You have a dinner in place with fucking candles only to tell me one of my babies is going to be ripped from me.’ 

She tries the door, but it doesn’t move. Y/N doesn’t face him, ‘Unlock it. Now.’ 

‘I’m afraid that isn’t going to happen.’ Michael drifts closer to her. His hands ghost along her shoulders, ‘You see, my sweet Y/N I cannot take any chances when it comes to my child. You are potentially carrying the next Antichrist in your stomach, our child.’ His hands snake around her middle, resting over her bump. ‘I will make sure both your babies are born alive, happy, healthy.’ He coos into her ear, pressing a kiss to her temple. ‘But you won’t be leaving this apartment again until after they are born.’ 

——————————————————————————————-

TAGGING: @michael-langdon-owns-my-soul @langdonsinferno @pastel-cloudz @misslanabananaa @lovelykhaleesiii @lostin-fern​ @lvngdvns@ccodyfernn @asstichrist@yourkingcodyfern @langdonsdemon @satcnas @russianspacegeckosexparty @rosy-pugs @luxuryglitterhoe @langdonsoceaneyes @sodanova @petersfern-fics @avesatanormalpeoplescareme @sassylangdon @confettucini @sammythankyou @wroteclassicaly @Sloppy-Wrist @Langdonalien @alexcornerblog @sevenwondr @queencocoakimmie @sojournmichael @langdonsdemon@satcnaskinlovecody @kylosbabe @americanhorrorstudies @xxpixiefromdixiexx @elenareginaauditore@dadddysprincessss@gremlinkween @readsalot73 @astir-bread @i-will-die-for-jim-mason@ms-mead @mega-combusken@hanhanxx@kahhlo@thelangdoncooperative @langdonsrapture@ritualmichael @cryptid-coalition @sloppy-little-witch-bitch26 @infernal-langdon @jim-mason2 @duncandimension @dark-jim @jimmlangdon  @xtheinevitableprophecyx @moontheweirdpan @moonlit-void-to-the-far-unknown @bbyduncan @divinelangdon @theladynymph@xlangdons-evilbabygirlx​ @dark-duncan​ @divinelangdon @codyswhore-blog @blakewaterxx 

[queenkeeleyhawes]

REPOST: queenkeeleyhawes’s official ranking of keeley’s male character counterparts

**reposting because i added theo (i forgot him the first time), added martin (mutual friends) because i recently watched it. removed david from top tier after i revisited some things. moved sven to top tier because it’s what he deserves. and moved gene hunt lower because let’s be honest, he’s the worst.**

this list includes: husbands, boyfriends, bosses, and other male coworkers. there is some of her work that i left off because her part was too small. i started this list originally at 5 am a couple of weeks ago. these are my personal opinions. please don’t come for me. most are pretty self-explanatory too but i did list reasons anyway. if you happen to disagree with me, that’s fine, but i’m pretty set in my ways so even if we have a nice conversation, you’re unlikely to change my mind. ** SEMI(?) SPOILERS AHEAD**

Top Tier 

Spiros - hello he literally did everything for her and her family. took such good care of them from day one. literally found them a house when they got on the island. and furniture. and a maid. he got her ring back when she sold it to bribe those thugs in series 1. attempted to tutor gerry when she couldn’t find anyone else. held her when she needed a good cry after hugh nearly died and after florence could have died delivering her baby. watched her children while she went back home briefly. built gerry his zoo. the list goes on and on.

Caspar -  saw her for who she was. was impressed by her mind. “you’re beautiful as well as good. one of those things i can't change. the other i never will.” that is all. 

Fabian - *crying emojis* he literally cared so much for her. always wanted to be with her. literally put her aunt into a home and paid for it when it was not cheap. pretty much disowned his eldest daughter for her. after everything still adored her.

Samuel P. - hoo boy it’s a lot. clearly they made a connection. but he respected her and her marriage to not pursue it further when she put an end to it. was so happy for her when she found her son.

Jarvis - he just loved her so much. the lil hotel kissing scene. the way they looked at each other. ugh. we’re not even going to talk about them singing together in rehearsal. i don’t have it in me.

Dick Dewey - i mean hello. good on the eyes. sweetheart. loved her so much. the hand washing scene. the lake scene. saved her father from the bear trap and let some other dude take the credit.  made all the boys apologize to her via song after they humiliated her in church. 

Danny - let her move in with him when he saw how terrible her living arrangements were. so much more. i really wanted them to end up together.

Theo  - obviously, he belongs in Top Tier because he was always just absolutely wonderful to louisa and to gerry (duh) and he always gave her the best advice. like I truly believe they were best friends and though he didn’t include himself, he was definitely part of the “men she loved the most on the island.” also he’s an “honorary woman.” the end.

Sven - literally saved her son from dying. brought her nets for her olives. let gerry borrow a goat. eventually i liked them together and i think they could have worked...but...you know.

Good Tier

Harry - cool dad. loved their relationship. he took care of her.

Tom - they were very good friends and he treated her so well. he genuinely cared for her as an employee. obviously the real chemistry was there but i'm honestly glad they didn’t go in that direction.

Ray - listen i know he’s an ass but he’s the ass that you actually love. and she changed him for the better. i loved the dynamic between him and alex and as they grew as friends. plus dean and keeley just played off each other so nicely.

Daniel - she just wanted him to call about that damn flat but he finally had his little break through by the end so he can stay and obviously matthew and keeley working together is *heart eyes.*

Richard Shaw - he had his issues but he really did love kathleen and even though he was basically in denial about their son and did some things she didn’t like...he was a good man who took care of her.

David - i mean it was literally his job to save her and he did try (we’re not gonna talk about the end of episode 3). i believe he really put her at ease and was making her change her opinions and views on so many things. but there were issues...we can’t deny that.

Mr Morley - we didn’t see them interact much...but he’s fine.

Chris - he’s fine as co-workers go. i think he definitely respected alex eventually but he wasn’t my favorite.

Will (MI-5) - he was fine. a little boring but fine and he literally was not even cute. really zoe??? he did love her. and she did end up having a good life with him.

Bad Tier

Martin Grantham - almost cheated on his wife for revenge. told her potential boss she had mental health problems just to keep her from getting the job. believed a rumor that she had hired a solicitor so he hired one out of spite. umm the bar scene with their son. everything he did with peter. enough said.

Rob Graham - he almost cheated on his wife. he was in slight denial about their son. didn’t want to get a dog. loved her and he clearly fought to stay with her. a few points for that.

Joe M*cb*th - was just kinda there? not horrible but not great.

Steve A - do i really even need to explain? he’s just so infuriating. you’re probably wondering why he’s not lower on this list...but...well just wait until you see the rest.

Mr Royal - he just generally sucks and also he ruined her dessert in that one lil scene and was just horrible. and he fucking slapped her, knocking her to the ground???? no sir.

Peter - the jealousy i mean come on and he terrorized her. nearly killed her best friend. not to mention i’m about 99.8% sure he stole her cat.

Hugh - ugh he was with her to make vasillia jealous. i don’t care what he tried to say. and i hate that he called her angel when that’s what her husband called her. also i think she just liked the idea of them and then realized how quickly it wasn’t going to work out, especially when he wanted her to go back to england when they hadn’t even been there that long and clearly corfu made her happy?!?!? purposefully hurt spiros.

Miles Mollison - it literally took him hearing his mother calling his wife a failure for him to grow a spine?!?!? and dude your wife looked like that *long sigh*

Trash Tier 

Billy - how many times did she have to ask him about getting a job. the jealousy. he didn’t do anything???? he took care of jake so he gets points for that. but he made her feel like crap for it so….bye. and he told tina even though angela didn’t want to tell anyone.

Michael - literally tried to murder her.

Othello - actually murdered her.

Dennis Hamilton  - crazy, jealous. possessive. made her get an abortion. spent all of her money. just gross.

Alec Wilson - hello he literally had another wife and two other children that she knew of. and he only gave her 5 measly fucking pounds….rude. 

Terry Leather - had an affair with another woman. kinda redeemed himself in the end but not really. 

Hallam - literally had an affair with her sister. forced her to take in lotte when she was terrified she’d lose their baby. was trash to his little sister after making a big deal about getting her out of the asylum. was horrible to blanche. was fine (?) with the staff but not really?? 

Sam Webster - had an affair. got another woman pregnant when that’s something his wife wanted again. literally never believed her about anything. blamed her for alice’s death and then later tried to tell her not to blame herself when she was depressed. horrible to their son. just an all around shitty person.

Roger - jealous of j’s power. racist remark about david. tells her something she specifically said she doesn’t care to hear. and let’s be honest he was probably bopping some blonde 20 year old.

Dryden - wouldn’t leave his wife. forced her to get an abortion. literally picked up a 15 year old at some gathering for a bj. gross gross gross.

Gene - grade A asshole. i literally do not understand why people love them together??? he was the one who saved her as a child??? but then almost hooked up with her in the afterlife??? creepy. no matter how many times i re-watch, i cannot find any redeeming qualities in him or any reason why they should be together. also he was a sexist, homophobic, RACIST pig. i don't care it was the 80s...gross. this one you definitely will not be able to fight me on.