#michael myers crack

[terracebatman]

Michael Vs Jason but it's cute and wholesome.

[gravysside]

[funtimeisparty]

Michael Myers

[not-buggy]

I'm in deep you guys.

[fromduck]

Yandere Slashers x Reader

Summary: In your residential “Halloween Town” you are the mayor to the town of deranged killers. Though a normal person- you think you do a good job of running the town! You also love the residents of Halloween Town, although immoral and straight up evil— they hold a special place in your heart ♥️

(Unedited hehe)

-Chucky and Tiffany are your bffs. Though their relationship is so toxic and you’re often a third wheel to their arguing. Glen and Glenda are pretty ok.

-Danny Johnson “Ghostface” is your ex-bf who has yet to acknowledge your breakup. (This man is down bad please take him back😭) Always invading your privacy as a means to “interview” you as the town’s mayor. Don’t ask him why most of Halloween Town’s newspaper is only talking about how perfect your hair is, how perfect your eyes crinkle when you smile, and why the fuck won’t you take him back please what did I do babygirl we had something special—

-Michael Myers and Jason Voohres are your bodyguards as the mayor of Halloween Town. They also save you from Danny’s harassment (much to his displeasure)

Though Jason is a part time PE teacher and sometimes leaves your side to teach his classes. It’s Michael who you have to beg to leave you alone and to go home when the day is over. You don’t know that he secretly sleeps under your bed

-Hannibal Lecter is your therapist and also the one who convinced you to break up with Danny. Totally not because he wanted you single. Never.

-Thomas Hewitt is the local butcher who shyly pines after you. He really likes you and offers you the best meat slices. Although, you never get to eat it because your bodyguard always confiscate it.

-Vincent Sinclair and Bo Sinclair run the local wax museum. Vincent even made your own wax model! WOW, this is really detailed!! (‘Hey!! why is my model naked while everyone else’s has clothes? 😅’ ‘….’ ‘You’re making wax clothes for mine right? ‘…..’ ‘Right?’ ‘….’)

They’re also scammers and make a profit off of your wax figure

-Freddy Krueger is your political rival who wants to take over Halloween Town. You’ve told the man that he will never take Halloween Town from you and name it “Nightmare Town.”

He also has a personal vendetta against Jason. Something about a fight they had where Freddy had his ass whooped. The man had never let that go.

-And many more residents!!!

Halloween Town may have flaws and maybe it’s not the perfect Town. But goddamnit it’s your town!! And you will rule it to bring prosperity to your residents!

Even if it means they may like you a little too much.

(HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! 🎃)

[the-moons-ace-card]

Jason’s purple, Michael’s pink, and they’re talking about Freddy

[b-theshittyhuman]

So my sister told me about a fanfic that tried to be super scary, saying stuff like "It was Friday 13th, Halloween night." Which is funny enough, however-

Now, I can't help but want to read a smut fic of Jason Voorhees creating a harem of different horror movie villains.

You could start with Michael Myers, which would be a sort of enemies to lovers, slow-burn.

Then Freddy Kruger slightly after Jason's relationship with Michael kicks off, with Freddy being the classic Tsundere.

Then who knows after that, Jigsaw, Ghost Face, Valak; the possibilities are endless.

[decayedraven]

Some Michaels fo today

[terracebatman]

Michael and Jason talk. Michael has a unique diet.

[x-fantasy-is-my-reality-x]

Friday the 13th Oneshots: Michael x Jason

Chapter 2: Halloween Headache

It was almost that time of the year again, Jason thought as he eyeballed the calendar on the table. He had never cared about holidays until he came along.

Right on cue, Michael trudged in from the back door, dragging mud all over his freshly mopped floors. Jason let out a huff, gesturing angrily at his partner who barely spared him a second glance. Michael was always 'moody', especially around Halloween. Jason wasn't exactly sure why the holiday had such an effect on the Haddonfield slasher, and Michael himself wasn't certain why either. But neither of them cared enough to stew over it.

His mood swings got worse around that fateful day, and Jason had to constantly watch his back to make sure the smaller man wouldn't jump him with a knife to the shoulder or rip off his clothes. Personally, he preferred the latter. But this year, he had a peace offering. Jason smiled giddily under the mask, feeling the weight of the candy hidden beneath his old, bulging jacket.

He knew Michael had a massive sweet tooth, despite his efforts to conceal it. Any desserts that Jason made or stole would immediately disappear before he even had a chance to taste it. Personally, Jason didn't care much for sweets, so it made no difference to him if Michael decided to hog it all. Unfortunately, most trespassers knew better than to carry aromatic foods into the forest, lest they wanted to attract unwanted attention from bears or worse.

Clearly, the hikers yesterday were not so smart, bringing an entire bag of candy into the woods to stuff their faces. Jason had found and dispatched them in an instant, claiming his prize and doing his best to hide it from his lover. Luckily, Michael didn't seem to suspect anything, too caught up on his yearly Halloween bloodlust to pay much attention to Jason.

Jason grinned, sneaking over to their shared bedroom where Michael was already hard at work staring out of the window. Michael didn't react to Jason's heavy footsteps, and it wasn't until he heard the unfamiliar sound of crinkling plastic did he finally turn around.

Jason pulled the bag out of his jacket, showing it off proudly to Michael. Hidden by the pale, white mask, Michael's eyes widened in shock. How long has it been? Over a decade at least since he's last tasted Halloween candy. It was the night he'd killed his sister, Judith. The food at Smith's Grove was bland and repetitive, and there was never the luxury of anything sweet or even food that tasted remotely edible.

But Jason didn't know that. If he had, he probably wouldn't have presented Michael with the whole bag at once. It seemed to trigger something in the Boogeyman; Jason had never seen him move so fast.

Michael lunged, startling a surprised grunt out of the normally mute killer, grabbing the bag and speeding out of the room. A door slammed in the distance, the distinct click of a lock loud in the empty house. Jason stood rooted at the spot, frozen in confusion for a few seconds before a thought hit him.

Was he going to eat the whole bag at once?

Even Michael wouldn't be able to stomach that much candy at once, he was going to get a massive stomachache, Jason worried.

Quickly, he found Michael in the spare room, but the door was locked. The sound of movement slipped through the cracks at the bottom, and Jason pounded a heavy fist against it. Something was thrown against the wall in a clear indication of 'go away'.

Jason exhaled loudly, knocking again, only to be ignored. Michael wouldn't budge, he was too busy tearing into the bag, damn the consequences! No way would he let Jason take it away.

After about ten minutes of fruitless knocking, Jason finally gave up, sliding against the wall as he sat down next to the door.

Eventually, Jason dozed off, leaving Michael to scarf down the candy in peace. It must have been hours later until Jason awakened. The sky was dark, blanketing the small cabin in a soothing darkness. It was quiet, too quiet. Jason perked up, ears straining for any sound behind the locked door.

A soft groan caught his attention and he immediately broke the lock on the door, resigning himself to fix it later. Jason burst through, halting as he saw the figure of his unmasked lover curled up on the sheets, candy wrappers strewn on the floor and bed. There were still a few pieces left, but the rest of it was gone. A loud gurgle echoed through the room, coming from Michael's stomach, Jason realized.

Shakily, Michael reached for a wrapped chocolate and Jason had to hold back from face-palming as he watched. He grabbed Michael's wrist, pulling him away from the candy.

Michael shot him a venomous glare, growling loudly and jerking weakly in his grasp. Jason tilted his head, narrowing his eyes at the smaller male as if saying, "Really?"

Even with a stomachache he was still trying to eat. He moved the candy away from him, sending Michael into a thrashing fit. A knee was suddenly thrust into Jason's ribs, briefly winding him enough for Michael to break free and make a wild dive for the candy.

Lunging forward, Jason grabbed his ankle and pulled him back, promptly collapsing him onto his stomach and locking his arms around his chest.

Michael let out a grunt as all of the air was expelled from his lungs, the sound muffled by the duvet pressing into his face.

He went deathly still for a moment and promptly threw up all over the bed and rug, letting out a few raspy coughs as he finally finished expelling all the colorful fluids. Jason could do nothing except gently pat his back through the violent heaving, hoping that it wouldn't stain the already deteriorating floors.

It reminded him of that year when he caught his counselors watching The Exorcist, and back then he had covered his eyes as the girl projectile vomited everywhere on screen. Except this time he had a front-row seat.

This Halloween was certainly shaping up to be an unusual one, Jason thought as he moved Michael's head away from the puddle of foul-smelling, partially digested candy on the corner of the bed. It seemed like all the fight had fled from him along with the contents of his stomach.

He tried scooping Michael up to take him to the showers but being a stubborn bastard he refused, pushing Jason away and rolling onto his side with an irritated growl.

He fell asleep almost immediately, and Jason didn't have the heart to wake him. A small smile worked its way onto his face as he watched the rhythmic rising and falling of Michael's chest, dark lashes fluttering lightly every now and then. Carefully, Jason lowered himself next to his sleeping lover, heart swelling with unbridled affection. Slowly, he too was lulled to sleep, dreaming about sharp blue eyes and dark brown hair.

Michael may be a shithead, especially around Halloween, but he was Jason's shithead, and no one would be able to take him away from him.

[seemslegitflapjacks]

Y’all Michael got Secretariat

[numiolaes]

td

pay no attention to the man behind the curtain / ooc. memes / ooc. promos / westeros' finest. selfpromos / beatings will continue until morale improves. crack / ooc. shitpost / ye olde michael myers music on the finest harp. misc / ooc. calls / ooc. answered / ooc. saved / ooc. psa / ooc. music / ooc. resources / ooc. dash commentary / m'lord thou art frightening the young maidens. wishlist / ooc. tbt / ooc.

[404creep]

Here's another little installment for my Simon x Civilian Cleaning Lady series. I'm trying to leave some of the REALLY good ideas for one shots, but sometimes I just gotta get the ideas in my head OUT through these drabbles!!!! I'll try and finish up the one shot I'm working on this weekend and post it by Monday! (Spolier alert, it's about the time you learn Ghost's real name 👀)

Previous Next Series Masterlist

The first time Simon truly interacts with your nephew happens roughly three weeks after you both begin having real conversations (you know.....rather than him just lurking like Michael Myers, silently observing you from behind a wall down the hallway)

Simon came for his daily visit later than he usually does on this particular day. Bro was swamped with work so you'd already clocked out when he came looking for you.

He was honestly scared he'd miss you. But he figured you'd have to get the kid before you left so he tried the daycare.

He just hung around outside the daycare until you exited holding the small 4 year old.

You honestly didn't expect to see Ghost there. It did scare you a bit ngl.

Y'all kinda do a stare down for a bit before you shoot him a smile that makes his tummy flutter

You introduce him to your nephew and he's just kinda awkwardly standing there looking at the kid like "idk wtf to do"

Bro does not know how to interact with toddlers and you can't change my mind on this.

Your nephew is kinda just burying his head into your neck and mean mugging Ghost

Honestly ghost is sweating a bit cause the kid is a little intimidating ngl

kid's been through a lot

You tell him to wave to the nice uncle army man

The kid does a half hearted little finger wave and then turns his head completely to face the other way so he doesn't have to look at at the masked army man

Ghost is honestly sweating cause how is he gonna marry you if your nephew hates him? Who will be the ring bearer????

Simon had it all planned out

NOOOOO! NOT HIS ELABRATE WEDDING PLANS

He'll survive

Anyway he figured that the way to any man's heart is through his stomach so he decides to sacrifice one of his snacks on you for the kid. Simon ALWAYS has snacks for you hidden in one of his pockets.

Decides to use YOUR daily treat for the kid as a bribe.

Kinda digs a package of gummies out of his pocket and then shakes them a bit "He old enough for this?" is all he asks. Doesn't wanna hop the kid up on sugar without your permission.

You see it for what it is, a bribe to make the kid like him.

and honestly you find it kinda sweet that he's trying

so you say yeah

he kinda taps the kid's arm with the package and the kid turns his head back to look

cue less mean mugging and very focused eyes on said package of candy.

Ghost can't help but crack a little smile under his mask

kid is cute, there's no denying it. Looks a bit like you.

He rips the package open and offers it to the kid.

The kid reaches in with his little fingers and grabs a few and then promptly shoves them into his mouth, still basically hiding in your neck.

Pretty sure the kid also eats a bit of your hair because you feel a bit of a pull so you can't help but wince at the pain. Kids are gross sometimes.

You tell Simon you guys gotta go because you need to get home and cook dinner

simon nods and follows you out to your car and watches you buckle the kid into his carseat

He's mentally taking notes in case he ever has to do it on his own

Tells you to be safe and that he'll see you tomorrow and gives you the rest of the candy for the kid later. He'll have more for you tomorrow anyway.

Watches you drive out of the parking lot and doesn't go back inside until he can't see the car anymore

One day you guys will be going home together :)

It takes your nephew a while to warm up to him (Oneshot about this cooking as we speak)

Your nephew may or may not immediately love Johnny.......Simon is jealous of this fact.

[shuaasumii]

“Cockroach”

ʚ pairing: mingyu x fem!reader

ʚ genre: crack, fluff

ʚ warnings: mentions of a cockroach and michael myers

ʚ summary: turns out your boyfriend mingyu, is afraid of tiny insects.

ʚ a/n: pictures are from pinterest!

you were busy catching up on the latest episode of your favorite tv show when all of a sudden you heard a shriek coming from your bedroom. when you rush to stand up to investigate, your boyfriend, mingyu sprints through the door of your shared bedroom. the 6’2 man rushes to your side hiding behind you as if he was being chased by michael myers.

“y/n help me please please help me,” mingyu rambles. concerned, you ask mingyu what’s wrong.

“there’s a big- no a MASSIVE cockroach in there,” he tells you.

you chuckle, “mingyu there is no way you, a six foot tall man is afraid of a small bug.”

gyu looks at you like you’re crazy before pushing you into the room that apparently holds the most massive cockroach ever according to your boyfriend. you look around for the insect struggling to find it.

“where babe?” you look at him. he points to a corner in your room. you step closer to inspect, and spot roach about the size of a carrot slice. it was hideous you must admit, but it sure wasn’t something to be frightened of.

“oh my god gyu it’s not even that big” you say, “go get me one of those red solo cups and a piece of paper,” you order. he stares at the roach for another second before rushing out of the room to get your supplies.

the man comes running back into the room with your requested cup and paper. the insect had actually moved to another spot in the room which just so happened to be right next to where mingyu had just stepped in.

“babe, um don’t panic- but uh the thing is near your foot,” you awkwardly told him. he looks down and lets out an ear piercing scream. you were definitely not aware your man could let out a sound so loud.

he runs to jump on top of the bed screaming, “GET IT PLEASE, GET IT PLEASE!” you laugh before carefully taking the items out of his hands.

mingyu watches you intently as you capture the bug inside the red cup. you then slide the piece of paper under the cup. after successfully catching the cockroach, you casually walk outside and let it out.

“see gyu? it wasn’t that bad” you tell him.

“no, oh no it was that bad” he hops off the bed and embraces you in one of his big bear hugs. “thank you for saving my life baby.”

you lift you head to look at gyu and send him an ‘are you serious’ look. you playfully roll your eyes and say, “you’re so welcome.”

[rabbitblackx]

Hi! 💕 would you be able to do jaosna, brahms and michael reactions that the reader when they raise their hand or make some sudden movement, the reader thinks that they want to hit her?

Slashers make Reader flinch

Includes: Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees and Brahms Heelshire

Michael Myers💖

Michael came home one Halloween night, hands drenched with blood. He was menacing as ever, standing there still in the dark

“Hi, Michael.” You called out quietly

The only reply you received was his heavy breathing from behind the mask, followed by the floor whining under his boots. He seemed a bit riled up from his killing spree, the faintest glint of delightful rage in his black eye

Michael was beginning to get too close. Just as you were to back into the wall, his fist came up to rest against your head. You immediately flinched, a small squeal of fear leaving your lips

Michael was not expecting you to flinch like that. It wasn’t like he was gonna hurt you. This made him mad. You cracked your eyes open and hesitatingly looked up at him in the dark. A look of almost betrayal twinkled in his eye before he turned his back

“Michael?”

He never thought something like that would bother him. You had been with Michael long enough. Did you still not trust him? After all the self restraint, all the control and gentleness he forced on himself. And you still acted like he was a monster

Michael walked away as calmly as he could. He didn’t want to be around you anymore, but he also wanted to prove his point… that he would never hurt you

Jason Voorhees💖

Jason came home in a bad mood. You didn’t know whether it was because someone got away, or that they were putting up a fight… he was just mad

Jason dumped his bloody machete by the door and brushed right past you, completely ignoring your presence. You turned to watch him storm towards your bedroom. He was probably gonna go to bed and lock you out. He had done that before

“Jason, are you okay?” You asked softly

Jason paused there by the door, and your heart stopped. He stood still for a moment, before turning and walking straight toward you. You watched on wide eyed for a moment, but then flinched back in fear when he got too close

“Please don’t hurt me, Jason. I’m sorry.” You squeaked from behind your hands

Jason’s broad shoulders suddenly slumped. That made him sad. You were scared he was gonna hurt you? Of course he wouldn’t

He watched helplessly as you cowered, before you fearfully peeked up at him. You flinched again as Jason slowly brought his hand up to touch your cheek. He let it linger there, fingers gently brushing against your hair

Before you could say another word, Jason slipped his hand away and turned his back. You brought your own up to touch the same spot as he stormed back out of your cabin

Brahms Heelshire💖

You got back from the village a little later than you told Brahms today. You knew you were gonna be in big rouble because of it

You shut the front doors as quietly as you could, but you knew he was aware of your presence. Just as you were planning what to tell him, you turned away from the doors to find him looming in the shadows

“Brahms,” you smiled nervously

Brahms did not reply. His breathing was heavy behind his mask and he slowly approached you. You held your own breath as he got real close, looming over you menacingly. You were about to apologise, but was startled when he raised his hand

You yelped, throwing yourself against the front doors and shielding your face. Brahms watched in shock. All he was trying to do was put his hand on your shoulder. It stung a little that you flinched away from him like that

You peeked up at Brahms standing before you, his hand still slightly raised as a sad look washed over his eyes. “Brahms, I’m sorry. I thought you were gonna hurt me.” You frowned

Brahms’ shoulders slumped, and he sadly shook his head. Tears pricked your eyes at his broken reaction, and you suddenly felt terrible. You apologised again, throwing your arms around him and resting your head on his chest

Brahms wrapped his own around you in a tight hug. He frowned under his mask as he nuzzled against your hair

[charliedawn]

Nurse brings their baby to work because they couldn't find the baby sitter. And the baby first word is dad. how would the slasher react to suddenly being called dad???

Michael Myers

Michael stares at the baby in your arms, his expression hidden behind his mask, but you can sense his surprise. He wasn’t expecting to be called dad, and the word feels foreign to him. For a moment, he freezes, his usual menacing air disappearing as he just stares. Slowly, he reaches out, his hand gently touching the baby's tiny fist. Though he doesn't say anything, there's a subtle shift in his body language, a quiet acceptance of the title.

Yeah. That baby is gonna have a great dad.

Jason Voorhees

Jason, who is often seen as a protector in his own way, might feel a wave of unexpected emotion. He has affection for them and the appellation dad did make him still for a second, reminding him of what he once longed for—a family and love. He crouches down slowly, tilting his head in that childlike way he sometimes does, unsure of how to react but clearly moved. Gently, he pats the baby’s head, trying to be as soft as possible, his usually violent hands becoming tender. Jason lost his father at a young age, and he would make sure that doesn’t happen with your baby.

Freddy Krueger

Freddy's reaction would be more layered. He'd laugh, finding the idea of being called dad by your child both amusing and strange. "Well, look who’s got great taste," he’d tease, his grin wide and mischievous. "Calling me daddy, huh ? Heck. I might start to like you, ya lil’ goblin !"

But deep down, there might be a flicker of something else—perhaps a sense of pride, though he’d never admit it. He’d probably try to play it off, cracking jokes, but you’d catch a glimmer in his eyes that says it means more than he lets on. Freddy wanted to be a father, before he died. But he never got the chance. So, he’d be secretly happy to keep an eye on your baby.

Chucky

Chucky would be taken aback, but his pride would swell almost instantly. "That's right, kid ! Dad's here !" he’d say with a wicked grin, clearly enjoying the title. He’d probably pick up the baby—carefully, for once—and start telling them how lucky they are to have him as their father. Chucky would take this as an ego boost and start acting like he's the best "dad" in the room, making jokes and pretending to give fatherly advice.

He would be the type of father to fight tooth and nail for his kid though—even though he pretends not to care.

Norman Bates

Norman would be stunned, unsure how to process being called dad. His face would soften as a mix of emotions flicker across his expression—uncertainty, fear, and a strange sense of warmth. He’s never really had anyone look to him in such a way before, and it would catch him off guard. "Dad…" he’d repeat softly, almost as if testing the word himself. There’s a brief moment where you see a tender, vulnerable side of him emerge. He’d be happy. But…He would also be conflicted because he’s never really had a father figure before and he would be afraid to not be up to the task…

Brahms Heelshire

Brahms would be overjoyed, his eyes lighting up with excitement as the baby calls him dad. He loves the idea of family and devotion, so this would feel like an affirmation of the bond he craves. "Did you hear that ? They called me dad !" Brahms would say, almost giddy with happiness. He’d immediately want to hold the baby, showing an unusually gentle side, savoring the moment as if it cements his place in your life even more deeply. He’d also wonder what it would be like to be YOUR partner…to be the real father of the child. Let me say, Brahms would actually buy you a wedding ring if that meant you would let him be yours and the baby’s family.

Bo Sinclair

Bo would smirk at first, his Southern drawl slipping out, "Well, ain’t that somethin’ ?" He’d be caught off guard, unsure if he should embrace it or brush it off. But deep down, the idea of being called dad would actually make him proud and happy. He’d probably roll with it, giving you a cocky smile, but you’d know from the way he looks at the baby that it’s gotten to him more than he’ll admit. He would wait until you are out of the room before kissing the baby’s forehead and whispering to it.

"Yeah…I’m yer Pa now, baby. And me and ya are gonna make yer mama so happy. You’ll see."

Vincent Sinclair

Vincent wouldn’t show much outward reaction at first, his face hidden beneath his mask, but he’d pause. The idea of being called dad by your child would stir something deep inside, something warm and unfamiliar. He’d probably kneel down, gently offering his hand to the baby, who’d grab onto his fingers. In that small, quiet moment, Vincent would silently accept the title, his body language soft and careful.

He would also take a picture—to remember that moment forever.

Pennywise

Pennywise would be utterly caught off guard. He’d be playing his usual mischievous role, trying to get the baby to laugh with goofy faces or strange noises when the word dad slips out. He’d freeze, his sharp teeth momentarily retreating, eyes widening in shock. "Dad, huh? Well, that’s new," he’d chuckle, though the sound would be a bit strained, a mix of amusement and uncertainty. Deep down, Pennywise would be torn between his natural chaos-loving self and an unfamiliar, almost protective instinct. After all, the word dad is reserved for those who care, and that’s not something he’s entirely familiar with. He doesn’t care. About anything or anyone. Still, he might lean into it, thinking of it as a twisted joke between the two of you, but somewhere in the back of his mind, the idea of being important to someone would linger.

Pennywise *hesitates before taking the baby in his arms* : "…You’re one ugly baby. But…I guess that’s okay. That just means am gonna have to take care of you."

Penny

Penny, on the other hand, would be thrilled. The second the baby says dad, he’d light up with genuine excitement, clapping his hands and letting out a loud, gleeful laugh. "Oh, did you hear that ? I’m dad !" he’d exclaim, picking up the baby and twirling them around carefully. Unlike his brother, Penny wouldn’t be conflicted—he’d embrace the title with his usual boundless joy, seeing it as the highest honor. He’d probably carry the baby around for the rest of the day, boasting to the others with pride.

Jack Torrance

Jack's reaction to being called dad by your baby would be complex. At first, he might freeze, his mind racing between his past as a father and the present moment. A flash of old memories might cross his face—memories of his son, Danny, and how things went terribly wrong. He might force a smile, but it wouldn’t reach his eyes. "Dad, huh ?" he’d mutter, his voice tinged with a strange mix of affection and unease. There’s a part of him that wants to embrace the title, to be a better father this time, but there’s another part—the darker part—that’s afraid of what that responsibility could mean for him. You’d catch a glimpse of his inner struggle as he tries to keep it together, quietly stepping back while nervously running a hand through his hair.

Jack would likely need a moment to collect himself, caught between the warmth of being seen as a father again and the haunting fear of repeating his past mistakes.