#michael myers crack

[terracebatman]

Michael Vs Jason but it's cute and wholesome.

[konigsmissedbeltloop]

I AM FUCKING OBSESSED WITH THIS EDIT @joelsgeetar YOU NEED TO SEE IT

[gravysside]

[heathenoushound]

Definitely one of my many terrifying experiences with Michael 😔🔪

[funtimeisparty]

Michael Myers

[not-buggy]

I'm in deep you guys.

[fromduck]

Yandere Slashers x Reader

Summary: In your residential “Halloween Town” you are the mayor to the town of deranged killers. Though a normal person- you think you do a good job of running the town! You also love the residents of Halloween Town, although immoral and straight up evil— they hold a special place in your heart ♥️

(Unedited hehe)

-Chucky and Tiffany are your bffs. Though their relationship is so toxic and you’re often a third wheel to their arguing. Glen and Glenda are pretty ok.

-Danny Johnson “Ghostface” is your ex-bf who has yet to acknowledge your breakup. (This man is down bad please take him back😭) Always invading your privacy as a means to “interview” you as the town’s mayor. Don’t ask him why most of Halloween Town’s newspaper is only talking about how perfect your hair is, how perfect your eyes crinkle when you smile, and why the fuck won’t you take him back please what did I do babygirl we had something special—

-Michael Myers and Jason Voohres are your bodyguards as the mayor of Halloween Town. They also save you from Danny’s harassment (much to his displeasure)

Though Jason is a part time PE teacher and sometimes leaves your side to teach his classes. It’s Michael who you have to beg to leave you alone and to go home when the day is over. You don’t know that he secretly sleeps under your bed

-Hannibal Lecter is your therapist and also the one who convinced you to break up with Danny. Totally not because he wanted you single. Never.

-Thomas Hewitt is the local butcher who shyly pines after you. He really likes you and offers you the best meat slices. Although, you never get to eat it because your bodyguard always confiscate it.

-Vincent Sinclair and Bo Sinclair run the local wax museum. Vincent even made your own wax model! WOW, this is really detailed!! (‘Hey!! why is my model naked while everyone else’s has clothes? 😅’ ‘….’ ‘You’re making wax clothes for mine right? ‘…..’ ‘Right?’ ‘….’)

They’re also scammers and make a profit off of your wax figure

-Freddy Krueger is your political rival who wants to take over Halloween Town. You’ve told the man that he will never take Halloween Town from you and name it “Nightmare Town.”

He also has a personal vendetta against Jason. Something about a fight they had where Freddy had his ass whooped. The man had never let that go.

-And many more residents!!!

Halloween Town may have flaws and maybe it’s not the perfect Town. But goddamnit it’s your town!! And you will rule it to bring prosperity to your residents!

Even if it means they may like you a little too much.

(HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! 🎃)

[terracebatman]

Michael and Jason talk. Michael has a unique diet.

[the-moons-ace-card]

Jason’s purple, Michael’s pink, and they’re talking about Freddy

[mentallygill]

I think you hurt his feelings

[b-theshittyhuman]

So my sister told me about a fanfic that tried to be super scary, saying stuff like "It was Friday 13th, Halloween night." Which is funny enough, however-

Now, I can't help but want to read a smut fic of Jason Voorhees creating a harem of different horror movie villains.

You could start with Michael Myers, which would be a sort of enemies to lovers, slow-burn.

Then Freddy Kruger slightly after Jason's relationship with Michael kicks off, with Freddy being the classic Tsundere.

Then who knows after that, Jigsaw, Ghost Face, Valak; the possibilities are endless.

[decayedraven]

Some Michaels fo today

[x-fantasy-is-my-reality-x]

Friday the 13th Oneshots: Michael x Jason

Chapter 2: Halloween Headache

It was almost that time of the year again, Jason thought as he eyeballed the calendar on the table. He had never cared about holidays until he came along.

Right on cue, Michael trudged in from the back door, dragging mud all over his freshly mopped floors. Jason let out a huff, gesturing angrily at his partner who barely spared him a second glance. Michael was always 'moody', especially around Halloween. Jason wasn't exactly sure why the holiday had such an effect on the Haddonfield slasher, and Michael himself wasn't certain why either. But neither of them cared enough to stew over it.

His mood swings got worse around that fateful day, and Jason had to constantly watch his back to make sure the smaller man wouldn't jump him with a knife to the shoulder or rip off his clothes. Personally, he preferred the latter. But this year, he had a peace offering. Jason smiled giddily under the mask, feeling the weight of the candy hidden beneath his old, bulging jacket.

He knew Michael had a massive sweet tooth, despite his efforts to conceal it. Any desserts that Jason made or stole would immediately disappear before he even had a chance to taste it. Personally, Jason didn't care much for sweets, so it made no difference to him if Michael decided to hog it all. Unfortunately, most trespassers knew better than to carry aromatic foods into the forest, lest they wanted to attract unwanted attention from bears or worse.

Clearly, the hikers yesterday were not so smart, bringing an entire bag of candy into the woods to stuff their faces. Jason had found and dispatched them in an instant, claiming his prize and doing his best to hide it from his lover. Luckily, Michael didn't seem to suspect anything, too caught up on his yearly Halloween bloodlust to pay much attention to Jason.

Jason grinned, sneaking over to their shared bedroom where Michael was already hard at work staring out of the window. Michael didn't react to Jason's heavy footsteps, and it wasn't until he heard the unfamiliar sound of crinkling plastic did he finally turn around.

Jason pulled the bag out of his jacket, showing it off proudly to Michael. Hidden by the pale, white mask, Michael's eyes widened in shock. How long has it been? Over a decade at least since he's last tasted Halloween candy. It was the night he'd killed his sister, Judith. The food at Smith's Grove was bland and repetitive, and there was never the luxury of anything sweet or even food that tasted remotely edible.

But Jason didn't know that. If he had, he probably wouldn't have presented Michael with the whole bag at once. It seemed to trigger something in the Boogeyman; Jason had never seen him move so fast.

Michael lunged, startling a surprised grunt out of the normally mute killer, grabbing the bag and speeding out of the room. A door slammed in the distance, the distinct click of a lock loud in the empty house. Jason stood rooted at the spot, frozen in confusion for a few seconds before a thought hit him.

Was he going to eat the whole bag at once?

Even Michael wouldn't be able to stomach that much candy at once, he was going to get a massive stomachache, Jason worried.

Quickly, he found Michael in the spare room, but the door was locked. The sound of movement slipped through the cracks at the bottom, and Jason pounded a heavy fist against it. Something was thrown against the wall in a clear indication of 'go away'.

Jason exhaled loudly, knocking again, only to be ignored. Michael wouldn't budge, he was too busy tearing into the bag, damn the consequences! No way would he let Jason take it away.

After about ten minutes of fruitless knocking, Jason finally gave up, sliding against the wall as he sat down next to the door.

Eventually, Jason dozed off, leaving Michael to scarf down the candy in peace. It must have been hours later until Jason awakened. The sky was dark, blanketing the small cabin in a soothing darkness. It was quiet, too quiet. Jason perked up, ears straining for any sound behind the locked door.

A soft groan caught his attention and he immediately broke the lock on the door, resigning himself to fix it later. Jason burst through, halting as he saw the figure of his unmasked lover curled up on the sheets, candy wrappers strewn on the floor and bed. There were still a few pieces left, but the rest of it was gone. A loud gurgle echoed through the room, coming from Michael's stomach, Jason realized.

Shakily, Michael reached for a wrapped chocolate and Jason had to hold back from face-palming as he watched. He grabbed Michael's wrist, pulling him away from the candy.

Michael shot him a venomous glare, growling loudly and jerking weakly in his grasp. Jason tilted his head, narrowing his eyes at the smaller male as if saying, "Really?"

Even with a stomachache he was still trying to eat. He moved the candy away from him, sending Michael into a thrashing fit. A knee was suddenly thrust into Jason's ribs, briefly winding him enough for Michael to break free and make a wild dive for the candy.

Lunging forward, Jason grabbed his ankle and pulled him back, promptly collapsing him onto his stomach and locking his arms around his chest.

Michael let out a grunt as all of the air was expelled from his lungs, the sound muffled by the duvet pressing into his face.

He went deathly still for a moment and promptly threw up all over the bed and rug, letting out a few raspy coughs as he finally finished expelling all the colorful fluids. Jason could do nothing except gently pat his back through the violent heaving, hoping that it wouldn't stain the already deteriorating floors.

It reminded him of that year when he caught his counselors watching The Exorcist, and back then he had covered his eyes as the girl projectile vomited everywhere on screen. Except this time he had a front-row seat.

This Halloween was certainly shaping up to be an unusual one, Jason thought as he moved Michael's head away from the puddle of foul-smelling, partially digested candy on the corner of the bed. It seemed like all the fight had fled from him along with the contents of his stomach.

He tried scooping Michael up to take him to the showers but being a stubborn bastard he refused, pushing Jason away and rolling onto his side with an irritated growl.

He fell asleep almost immediately, and Jason didn't have the heart to wake him. A small smile worked its way onto his face as he watched the rhythmic rising and falling of Michael's chest, dark lashes fluttering lightly every now and then. Carefully, Jason lowered himself next to his sleeping lover, heart swelling with unbridled affection. Slowly, he too was lulled to sleep, dreaming about sharp blue eyes and dark brown hair.

Michael may be a shithead, especially around Halloween, but he was Jason's shithead, and no one would be able to take him away from him.

[seemslegitflapjacks]

Y’all Michael got Secretariat

[terracebatman]

The Michaels. Myers and Jackson

[numiolaes]

td

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