#mexican gay culture

[lenbryant]

From today's Los Angeles Times (front page even).

(Times)

All night long, cowboys swaggered into a packed nightclub, dressed to impress in shiny boots, tight Wranglers and wide-brimmed hats.

They had come to throw back tequila and Tecate, to sing along to blasting banda and to dance — chest-to-chest, legs entwined — with each other.

Each spring, hundreds of men from across Mexico and the United States make a pilgrimage to this colorful colonial city for an annual gathering of gay vaqueros — or cowboys. At private events held over a long weekend, they share carne asada and traditional folk dances and crown a cowboy king.

Pop music is forbidden. Instead, live bands play for hours, with musicians in matching suits churning out cumbia and Norteña hits as a sea of Stetsons fills the dance floor.

For Mariano Escobar, the lanky 51-year-old bar owner who hosted what he believes was Mexico’s first gay cowboy convention here in Zacatecas 18 years ago, it’s nothing short of heaven. 

With his python boots and plaid shirt unbuttoned to reveal a plush tuft of gray chest hair, Escobar said the idea behind that first party was simple — if a bit self-interested.

“I like to dress like a cowboy,” he said, “and I like guys who dress that way, too.” 

As the event has expanded and the subculture has spread, with weekend-long vaquero conventions now held in more than a dozen cities on both sides of the border, the gatherings have become a refuge for gay men seeking connection not just with each other, but with Mexican identity itself.

After all, while the event draws actual cowboys — men leathered by long days tending crops or cattle — it also attracts accountants, attorneys and other city folk for whom donning western wear is both a kink and a lifeline to Mexico’s rural past.

“When you come here, you feel a certain pride in being Mexican,” said Emmanuel Fernández, a 29-year-old lawyer from Mexico City who first learned about the world of gay vaqueros while living in Atlanta.

[happysoulobservation]

[angelx1992]

[sergeifyodorov]

you truly understand the thing that makes 1634 so good and that is auston’s REAL gay pining i’ll love you forever mitch while mitch is like “yeah haha i’m in love with you😂” <- sincere yet not quite. but causals view their dynamic with those roles switched which makes for a less interesting pairing

I think a lot of people look at Auston's more overt masculinity (which mind you is done with an intentional nod at the camera -- earrings, pornstache, bright colours, sheer shirts -- ken-doll gay-porn butch-boy masc) and confuse that with the more stereotypically hockey casually-homoerotic out-of-touch way of looking at things ... all the while ONE of these two grew up white and Torontonian in the very socially regimented Canadian junior hockey system and it wasn't him!!!

[dartxo]

"El Venado"

2024

Something for the upcoming Mexican Independence Day.

The Deer Dance is an indigenous folk dance from northern Mexico, traditional to the Yaqui and Mayo peoples. The dancer playing the deer wears a headdress with a stuffed head of the animal at the top.

Viva México, cabrones! 🇲🇽

[luesmainblog]

what a wonderful day to remember that there are real actual people in the world who fit your "harmful stereotypes" to a T and they deserve safety, love, respect as human beings, and YES, representation, because even the most stereotypical mother fucker has more going on in their life than just that. a LOVELY day to remember that your dislike of stereotypes should be based in a lack of variety and a watering down of human experience or an active distaste for those being shown, not your own personal distaste of Those People. a MARVELOUS day to consider that many of the stereotypes which are held up as Degenerates who must be Erased by the bigots are, in fact, people we should be protecting and empowering, and that you should NOT BE AGREEING WITH THE BIGOTS ABOUT THEM NEEDING TO GO AWAY.

[bitter69uk]

Born on this day ninety years ago: glamorous and tempestuous Mexican diva and kitsch icon Irma Serrano (née Irma Consuelo Cielo Serrano Castro, 9 December 1933 - 1 March 2023). Nicknamed La Tigresa, the showgirl turned impassioned ranchera singer, actress (she starred opposite Mexican wrestler Santo in Santo contra los Zombies (aka Santo versus the Zombies) in 1961), mistress of (married) Mexican president Gustavo Diaz Ordaz, businesswoman, extreme plastic surgery enthusiast, TV personality and left-wing politician was a scandalous fixture in Mexican tabloids for over five decades. In fact, Serrano continued freaking out the squares into old age (she married a 29-year-old man aged 71 – get it, girl!). See Serrano in full cry here.

[moonshynecybin]

I wasn’t planning on asking more hockey questions (congrats on game two tho) but I will say I’m a little (very) curious about your fave hockey ships

while hockey rpf fanfiction authors are maybe the most talented in the entire genre. i don’t think i haveeee a specific ass ship. like if something gets recced to me i’ll take a stab, but especially with my boys the leafs i don’t really have a horse in the proverbial race… auston matthews HAS fucked freddie andersen though that one just happened. like we all saw that it’s not rpf it just happened. anyways. all this to say it was very fun to me when the oakleys booth at cota had exactly NO photos of motogp riders but it did have my good friend mitch marner who has never met a playoff game he couldn’t flop in

the people working the booth were like. why are you getting a picture with that.

[kuvirametalbender]

God the way the Aristotle and Dante Discover the secrets of the universe trailer just destroyed me.... oh man

[lazyspeedy]

on a separate note

[sailing-ever-west]

Okay but can we talk about how Big Mom is like one of the best portrayals in fiction of the problems with exoticism?

Narratives where one group hates the other for racial, cultural, physical, or other reasons are common, and although they still require nuanced execution to really be meaningful, in essence they're fairly easy to set up. "You're different, so I hate you and want you beneath me."

Exoticism, on the other hand, is something I really don't see dealt with as much. It takes more thought to explore the idea that oppression can be expressed not as outright hatred of certain traits, but through sensationalizing and commodifying them. Thinking a trait is cool or beautiful, but taking away the rights of the person it belongs to.

The way Totto Land is run demonstrates this perfectly. On the surface it's "accepting" of all races, people of all shapes and sizes, but not being directly attacked and discriminated against is held over all of their heads in order to exploit them for continued donations of their literal life force. Acceptance is conditional on their usefulness.

Big Mom also literally collects living creatures in a scrapbook zoo for her own entertainment, and creates beings bound to her will out of inanimate objects. She's enchanted with the idea of Brook as a living skeleton, holding him like a doll and playing with his hair (relevant that it's an afro, imo), only upset at his apparent "death" because she's lost her new favorite toy.

It's shown perhaps even more starkly with all of Big Mom’s children. She births offspring of every race in order to have their powerful traits under her command, and discards the fathers once they've added to the gene pool as she wanted. It's a tool of imperialism to get those people groups under her reign. And as shown with Pudding and Katakuri, she can sometimes personally be disgusted by the physical traits of her mixed children and make them feel the need to hide, only tolerating their appearance in hopes they'll be useful. She can't stand that Pudding looks like a beautiful human girl in every way except for that "gross ugly eye," a necessary evil that is only a positive if it grants her powers. She discriminates against her daughter even while benefiting from her.

It all feels so reminiscent of "oh, I only date Asian women because they're more attractive and have good wife traits," and "you're so pretty, but you'd look better with straight hair," and "white and Filipino couples make the most beautiful babies, that's who I want to marry," and "wow, you're so pale, I could barely guess you were Mexican," and "black people are just naturally better at sports" and "you'd look better with a tan" and "you'd look better if you were lighter" and "black hair is gorgeous but it doesn't look professional" and "I'm dressed up as a Gypsy/Indian/etc." and "I want a curvy girl but actually fat people are gross," and "I'd love to have a gay best friend lol, as long as they don't make it their whole personality," and "autism is your superpower! why do you act so weird though?" and on and on and on.

Big Mom is a fascinating and surprisingly realistic example of obsession with unique traits despite giving no actual respect to the people who have them. Once again, Oda, hats off on shockingly accurate depictions of oppressive systems.

[thekeeperof-thefandoms]

I asked a few of my favorite hazbin writers this and only one answered and it was ok but I felt like it could have been expanded on so here's my take

Vox, Val, Alastor, and Lucifer react to your love language being baking/cooking

Vox

(Starting with him because he's the one thaf inspired this).

Vox came from the 50s and even though I firmly believe he is past all the ingrained gender roles and homophobia I think he still has some internalized misogyny. He wants to be viewed as the man in the relationship, the breadwinner, the provider. He can cook for himself but it's pretty basic food (except steak. Like every other man since the invention of the grill how to bbq has been hardwired into his brain. If his partner also grills ya'll fight over whose turn to cook out it is)

(Unrelated but as a lesbian who loves to grill, and is the designated grill bro, butch lesbians or cookout lesbians are some of Vox's favorite type of gays to chill with)

I firmly believe that's why even though he's a sub, it's so hard and would take time and trust to get him to let you top and enjoy it. He's so worried people will find out and judge him, that you'll judge him. His ego can be very fragile.

Especially if we go with the Vox used to be a cult leader theory. His power, image, and success are linked to his ability to appear in control. To appear to have all the answers and take responsibility. It's going to take a lot of time and patience to unravel all that and help him seperate his personal and professional image.

That being said, a partner who uses acts of service as a love language is perfect for him. He's a busy man, so he tends to be a gift giver type. The gifts are always well thought out and expensive. He wants it to be something you need, want, can get a lot of enjoyment from, and be worth the money spent, so he puts time and effort into them. Unless he's just showing off by giving you his card and telling you to go nuts.

So you taking time to make his coffee for him the way he likes, ordering lunch from his favorite places and having it sent to his office so he remembers to eat, or just texting him reminders to drink water or eat/take breaks throughout the day makes him giddy.

If you're his assistant or something, (and I believe Vox absolutely would have his partner working for him/with him), then it's even better when you take on extra work to try and help him. Organizing his schedule, sorting emails/mail, and proofreading things. Any small act you do for him, because you want to and care about him, makes his heart rate pick up.

It'll really make him overheat, glitching slightly, literal heart eyes, if he comes home after a shitty day and you're cooking for him.

His internal monologue is absolutely raving about what a good housewife you are for him, a hard working husband.

Bonus points if you cleaned too! Either way, he adores you even more now, letting you fret and coo at him, removing his jacket and tie, pouring him a drink and telling him dinner will be ready soon and you made his favorite. He's so tempted to bend you over the counter right now, but that would ruin dinner. After you guys eat though, he's having you for dessert. Man's gonna make sure you know how much he appreciates this by turning your knees to jello, good luck walking tomorrow, doll.

If you bake treats and bring them to VoxTek he's gonna brag so much. Literally the embodiment of John Mulaney's, "That's my wife!" If you bring them just for him, he's defending his treats like they're the last ones in Hell. He has literally hit Val with a fly swatter for even asking if he could have one.

(Unrelated but like, chubby vox maybe? You're cooking is too good)

Valentino

Val wishes he could cook better. He's some kind of latino, so I feel like the fact he can't cook very well is a sore spot culturally. He can make the salsa and chips and like, help with stuff, he knows how to wrap tortillas and tomales (I picture him as like Mexican or Puerto Rican but that's just cuz the town I grew up had a large Puerto Rican group).

It doesn't help that his eyesight is even more shit in Hell. He can't see what he's doing hald the time. It ruins his art hobby too. He's overall just more easily frustrated with his bad eyesight.

I don't imagine you guys dating per se. Maybe you're his sugar baby, maybe you're someone he hired to help him do stuff like clean and organize and you just sorta start doing other things to help him. (Again I'm not saying it excuses jackshit, but as someone who worked with bipolar people and people with mood disorder I kinda see the fan theory in him, either way I think all the Vees could be sort of trained to be better people, but especially Val. We already saw Vox do it.)

After all, he's usually in a much better mood if you do and that means less outbursts. The first few times you cook him something he teases you about being his housewife, tries to make it sexual. It's not really something he clocks as being an act of love because I don't think you'd realize it yourself at first. I think the more you got to see him when he wasn't stressed, lashing out, being abusive, you'd start catching feelings. ("I can fix him", delulu asses)

He loves to be in the kitchen when you cook once it starts becoming a regular thing. He can't see clearly what you're doing but the way you move around the kitchen and get what you need, even if you're an ADHD mess and do steps out of order or at random, he can tell you know what you're doing. He likes to smell the food too while it's cooking.

He will ask you to try and make some spicier/more traditional foods he grew up with, but he doesn’t remember all of the ingredients, and it just gets him more frustrated he can't tell you. If you look them up and surprise him with it it'll probably be the most genuine, human response you get from him.

He's shocked, silent, standing frozen in the penthouse as familiar smells waft around him. You present him a plate nervously, practically shaking hoping it's good enough. The first bite nearly puts him in tears. No one's done anything this nice for him? Why would you? Lowkey thinks you want something from him. It's gonna make him paranoid for a while so don't expect a verbal compliment but he eats it all.

Eventually though, one day when you're in the kitchen cooking, humming softly and swaying your hips, one set of his arms will wrap around your waist, the other reaching around you help with the salsa, or wrap a tamale, and he'll prop his chin on your head and mumble out thanks. Some praise, maybe. Would definitely tell you stories about eating these foods growing up.

It's the first step towards having an actual relationship with him.

Alastor

This man almost always insists on cooking. He isn't much of a sweet tooth either. You tell him one night you want to try cooking for him. Tell him you understand it's an activity he enjoys and relaxes too, (especially if you know it's something that reminds him of his mother), but you want to do something for him and this is one way you show you care.

It's gonna remind him of his Mama so much that if you didn't know why he loved cooking so much before you do now. He compromises. You pick the meal and gather the ingredients and do most of the cooking and he helps prep and does dishes.

He playfully critiques you the entire time about adding some spice too it or a little southern flair. Just smack him with the wooden spoon, gently. It's gonna make him laugh because his Mama used to do that when he wouldn't keep out of the sweets, or tried to add stuff to her cooking.

Once you start it becomes habit to help each other in the kitchen every night, trading off who cooks and who preps and does dishes.

If you do find baked goods he likes that aren't too sweet and send them to him as snacks, especially to Overlord meetings, he's so fucking obnoxious about his sweet little doe (doesn't matter if you are one or not) and how they spoil him. Especially rubs it in Vox's face (not him whining to his partner so they send him with treats too so he can also brag).

Only shares with Charlie, Rosie, Niffty, and sometimes Zestiel. If he's feeling generous, Husk can have a bite.

Low-key also has a thing for his partner behaving domestically even if he isn't exactly invested in traditional marriage.

Favorite activity though is dancing with you in the kitchen to jazz while dinner cooks, holding you close, in his room usually, so he can hear the sounds of the bayou. If he closes his eyes he can pretend this is how his life went and that his Mama is in the corner or sitting in her chair, watching him, happy to see him find someone.

He will literally kiss Vox willingly before admitting that last part though.

Lucifer

It's not that he can't cook, it's just....it's easier to just snap his fingers and make food appear. He's been in a depressed slump for decades man, he's lived off of the 'want food, no cook, only eat' mindset.

When you come into his life it's a complete overhaul. Despite what issues you have yourself you can recognize someone in worse state than you and immediately categorize and prioritize. First thing first, get this man's duck collection/obsession organized, thinned out, and under control.

Second, help him work through his issues with Lillith and Charlie. Encourage therapy, be a mediator between him and Charlie (and trust me she appreciates it. She knows her dad struggles, didn't know how bad, and still feels awkward). Help him socialize more, rebuild his connection with the other sins.

Get this man a work schedule!

Then it's on to personal habits. You help him get out of bed, you're both probably a little helpless in the sleeping on time category though. Help him get a routine again to keep out of his funk. Then you start cooking for him. It just happens naturally. You enjoy cooking, you enjoy showing people you love how much you care by providing good meals.

At first he's gonna resist and tell you he can handle that, you already do so much for him. He can cook or better yet he can just make it appear and you laugh and tell him it tastes better when it's made with love. He brushes it off as a joke too, you're both just being silly and obviously you said that to get him to quit fussing. Except, unholy hell does it actually taste so much better.

Lucifer hadn’t realized how bland and unsatisfying just materializing the food was. Maybe that's because he was so depressed and uninterested in what he ate, maybe not. Either way, your cooking is so much fucking better. He actually looks forward to eating now. If he gets caught up in work or has a bad day, you make sure to always bring him something, leaving it as an offering of sorts. It almost always works and entices him to eat at least once.

You cook, he does dishes, and he will not budge on that rule. He wants to be a fair man. He occasionally boots you out to do dessert, though. Apple pie is his bitch and you've never tasted one as good as his. He also makes good pancakes and some absolutely orgasmic angel's food cake.

Ironicall, devil's food cake is one of your go to recipes. Sometimes you both make a cake and take it to events just to watch people get confused as fuck when it's revealed the literal Devil did not make the devil's food cake.

Everyime you're in the kitchen together it's a disaster, you're both to silly and chaotic. You were making noodles one time and he threw flour at you so you smacked him with the noodle you were holding, leaving a line of flour and a speck of dough against his cheek. From there it escalates. It happens every time. Making cakes together, you're smashing frosting on each other. Making cookies, you're fighting each other to stop eating cookie dough.

Once, after you get fed up with him stealing her spatula to lick the chocolate off of, hovering above you with his wings, you pout and bat your eyes, asking him sweetly to please give it back. He swoops down in front of you, booping your nose to smear chocolate on it and leaning in to kiss you, letting you have a taste of the chocolate batter you were mixing for brownies. While his tongue is in your mouth, drunk off the taste of you and chocolate you smash an egg over his head and let out a triumphant cheer, snatching back your spatula.

He's so stunned his wings disappear and he drops the last few inches to the ground while you cackle. His heart is pounding, his ears are ringing, and his chest feels like it's gonna explode. His eyes are literal sparkles. He hasn't felt this much joy, wonder, and love since Charlie was born. It feels like witnessing creation all over again, of the breathlessness he felt when he first saw Lillith.

You're laughter stops when you realize he's just staring at you awestruck and you smile, asking if he's ok.

"For once...yeah..Yes. I'm ok." He responds, genuinely. You kiss his cheek and resume baking. He watches you from the counter now, dreamily, thinking about how he's gonna marry you someday.

[lowkeyrobin]

i saw that you wanted mcyt ideas so im here to deliver!! maybe something christmas-y? i know its not even thanksgiving yet but im feeling so holly jolly. maybe like how they spend christmas with you? (about anybody, but def tom and ran please !)

oooo okay okay!! ; and dw I've been in a Christmas mood ever since I had to set up a wishlist and get people gifts LMAOOO ; thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy!!! ; also since some are British I tried to incorporate British traditions ; also sorry if this gets posted like.. on Christmas, I probably decided to save it because i didn't get any other christmasy reqs lol ;

MCYT ; happy holidays

includes ; tommyinnit, badlinu, ranboo, quackity & slimecicle

warnings ; language, mentions of drinking

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

bro takes Christmas very seriously

you do all sorts of shopping and activities together

Christmas just reminds him of his younger, innocent self before the internet and the pressures of the online world

it's just a joyful time where he feels like he's right where he belongs, in a cheesey hallmark movie

you decorate the tree together and window shop once the sun sets

your tree is one of the green ones with the off white / yellowish lights, and your theme is usually red / white / silver

but there's complete creative freedom around the house, you're just not buying new tree decor when what you have is totally fine

on Christmas you invite your friends and family over and get in a big circle for Christmas crackers :))

and don't worry, he did cover your home in colorful Christmas lights lol

also matching ugly sweaters cause why not

if you crochet, you made one for him yourself with some... vulgarities

baking up sweet treats with recipes from pinterest is the best part

FREDDIE BADLINU

his favorite part is the gift giving and repetitive movies for sure

the entire holiday season, you're chilling on the couch watching cheesey hallmark movies and watching the grinch on repeat

and dont get me started on Christmas specials of your favorite series

you definitely make your own decor together because why not

your tree is one of those white ones and you don't really have a theme, just colorful ornaments with some sentimental ones on it too

you wrap presents together while listening to music (mostly Christmas pop, Sabrina's fruitcake ep, Tyler's inspo by the grinch ep)

you're the cool aunt/uncle/parents siblings duo istfg

trust if you have any siblings with kids, they yearn to see you on Christmas

^his sister yearns for Christmas at your place too, trust 🙏

you 100% do one of those animal fundraisers for Christmas and get the shelter new toys, food, blankets, and little sweaters 🫶💔

RANBOO

you don't celebrate Christmas, you celebrate ✨️ Christmas ✨️

cunty Christmas guys 🙏🙏 lock in

but you go all out for the season

green Christmas tree, rainbow lights, rainbow decor and silver accents

it's actually so pretty

festive music is always playing, paired with one of those dim screen savers with the crackling fireplace on the TV

you're the vintage spirit of Christmas except you're not stuck to a theme

a family of four in the 70s except gay and no kids

trust Sabrina's fruitcake ep is on REPEAT

ugly sweaters are a must

and that tree is stacked with presents (especially since a lot of your friends are celebrating with you)

you definitely make cookies together and go shopping for the kids & animals at those Wal-Mart giving tree thingies (idk what they're called im sorry)

but giving those kids and animals the Christmas they deserve just makes you so happy

ALEX QUACKITY

if you aren't familiar with Mexican Christmas culture, you definitely are now

and if you are Mexican and celebrate the same way he does, that's perfect!!

for one, he made Ensalada Nochebuena (a fruit salad of sorts) and Rompope (Mexican style eggnog) for you to try. even if you didn't like the food, he'd appreciate you wanting to connect with his culture

you have a very elegant tree, green; soaked in lights and colorful decor, mostly reds, blues, greens and yellows

he also shows you a lot of just random traditions and pictures from his childhood surrounding Christmas, it's really cool

he was talking about how he never got candy from the star piñatas during the holidays, so you decided to paper mache him up a star piñata

he was very thankful for it, and you spent the rest of Christmas Eve night munching on chocolate

your gifts for each other are genuinley so perfect

and you invite some friends over for drinks and dumb activities, and playing with new little toys together 😼

peak holidays

CHARLIE SLIMECICLE

yall have the typical green tree and neutral colored ornaments and some sentimental ones

you don't heavily decorate because it's not really the point to you two

you'd rather have stupid funny decorations chilling around the house at random then be annoyed with putting it up and putting it away if that makes sense

like the living room will have the addition of the tree and look basically how it does all year, nd then you remember the horrifying clay sculpture of Charlie that sits beside the television

you go black Friday shopping, the types to wake up at 4am and crash and burn at 1pm

you aren't even freaks for deals, it just locks in the holiday feeling

and then on Christmas eve you're both panic wrapping gifts because you put it off too long

and then you wake up at 8 the next morning and realize people are coming over in like an hour so you scramble around the house throwing food together

and when you go to turn on some Christmas music it's fucking Christmas Don't Be Late by Alivin & The Chipmunks

you just let it play, it's a good song

chaotic neutral christmas

[molsno]

I've already written about why male socialization is a myth that needs to be discarded, but in the responses to those posts, I sometimes find tme trans people who concede that yes, the concept of male socialization should be rejected, but refuse to let go of their own supposed female socialization. this always makes me quite reasonably angry, for two reasons:

I dislike it when people hijack my posts about transmisogyny to talk about things that aren't transmisogyny.

rejecting male socialization but embracing female socialization is still innately transmisogynistic.

you might find yourself wondering how that second point could possibly be true. it's true for a lot of reasons, and I'll explain to the best of my ability.

"female socialization" is the idea that people who were assigned female at birth undergo a universal experience of girlhood that stays with them the rest of their lives.

right off the bat, this concept raises alarm bells. first, it is a bold (and horribly incorrect) assertion to claim that there is any universal experience of girlhood that is shared by all people who were afab. what exactly constitutes girlhood varies greatly based on culture, time period, race, class, sexual orientation, and many, many other factors. disregarding transness for a moment, can you really say that, for example, white women and black women in modern day america, even with all else being equal, are socialized in the same way? the differences in "socialization" only become more stark the fewer commonalities two given people have. to give another example, a white gay trans man born in 2001 to an upper middle class family in a progressive city in the north is going to have a very different life than a cis straight mexican woman born in 1952 to an impoverished family and risked her life immigrating to the us in the deep south. can you really say anything meaningful about the "female socialization" that these two supposedly have in common? I think that b. binaohan said it best in "decolonizing trans/gender 101":

Then in a singular sense we most certainly cannot talk about 'male socialization' or 'female socialization' as things that exist. We can only talk about 'male socialization**s**' and 'female socialization**s**'. For if we take the multiplicity of identity seriously, as we must, then we are socialized as a whole person based on the nexus of the parts of our identity and our axes of oppression. ... Indeed, it gets complex enough that we could assert, easily, that each individual is socialized in unique ways that cannot be assumed true of any other person, since no one else shares our **exact** context. Not even my sister was socialized in the same way that I was.

and while I could just leave it at that and tell you to read the rest of their book (which you should), it wouldn't sit right with me if I just debunked the concept without explaining exactly why it's transmisogynistic at its core.

now, I should preface this by saying that I believe trans people have a right to identify however they want, and I think that trans people deserve the space to talk about their lives before transition without facing judgment. there are tme trans people who consider themselves women and there are trans men who don't consider themselves women at all but nonetheless have a lot of negative experiences with being expected to conform to womanhood. I don't want to deprive these people of the ability to talk about their life experiences. however, I do want them to keep in mind a few things.

first of all, "female socialization" is terf rhetoric. terfs talk all the time about how womanhood is inherently traumatic, which they regularly use as a talking point to convince trans men to detransition and join their side. when your whole ideology hinges on the belief that having been afab predestines you to a life of suffering, who is a better target to indoctrinate than trans people for whom being expected to conform to womanhood was a major source of trauma and dysphoria? the myth of female socialization is precisely why there are detransitioners in the terf movement who vehemently oppose trans rights.

that's why when tme trans people talk about having undergone female socialization, it's almost always steeped in the underlying implication that womanhood is an innately negative experience. even if they don't buy into the biological determinism central to radical feminism, that implication is still present. because, you see, womanhood can still be innately negative because the result of being viewed as and expected to be a woman is that you are inundated with misogyny.

that right there is why clinging to the notion of female socialization is transmisogynistic. it allows tme trans people, many of whom don't even consider themselves women, to position themselves as experts who understand womanhood and misogyny better than any trans woman ever could. that's why I find it disingenuous when a tme trans person claims to reject male socialization but still considers themself as having undergone female socialization; how could they possibly benefit from doing so, other than by claiming to be more oppressed than trans women, by virtue of supposedly experiencing more misogyny?

by being viewed as more oppressed than trans women on the basis of female socialization, they gain access to "women's only" spaces that trans women are denied access to. their voices are given priority in discussions about gendered oppression. people more readily view them as the victims when they come into interpersonal conflict with trans women. they become incapable of perpetrating transmisogyny on the basis of being the "more oppressed" category of trans people.

how exactly could such a person not be transmisogynistic, though? if they believe that gendered socialization is a valid and universal truth that one can never escape from, then what does it even mean for them to reject the concept of male socialization? if they were to actually, vehemently reject it, then they would no longer be able to leverage their own "female socialization" to imply that trans women aren't real, genuine women on account of not having experienced it. and make no mistake - there are very few tme trans people who subscribe to the myth of gendered socialization that even claim to reject male socialization. most of the time, they're very clear about their beliefs that trans women have some "masculine energy" that we can never truly get rid of after having undergone a lifetime of being expected to conform to manhood. and as a result, they continue to treat trans women as dangerous oppressors.

that's why gendered socialization as a concept needs to be abandoned wholesale. there's nothing wrong with talking about your experiences as a trans person, but giving any validity to this vile terf rhetoric always harms trans women, just like it was intended to do from its very inception.

[what-even-is-thiss]

What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.

It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

- [ ]

There’s whole subsets of philosophy and science dedicated to this sort of thing, dude. If you’re looking for one particular answer that applies universally to all gay men or all of one orientation or gender etc that’s not useful and if you insist upon getting that one particular answer you come across as dangerously ignorant.

Asking what it is that makes someone gay is a bit like asking “What’s an American?” or “What’s a country?”

At first they seem like straightforward questions but once you dig even a bit below the surface you’ll find that everyone and every place and every situation has a different answer. Is the EU a country? Is India? Is Idaho? Why? Why is a Mexican an American in Spanish but not in English? Spanish speakers will be insulted if you say they’re not American but Canadians will be insulted if you say they are. And Americans as in persons and from the United States of America aren’t as clear cut a group as that quick little definition I gave you would suggest. Why would someone living in the US for over a decade not consider themselves an American? Why would someone who just moved here insist they are American? Is it citizenship that makes you American? The continent you live on? How do you draw lines between continents? At what point do you identify more with your adopted country than the one you were born in?

Being gay is similarly complicated. What makes you gay? Your gender? Your attraction? Who you’d prefer to marry? Who you’d prefer to have sex with? Is gay a political position? Does it mean you’re happy? Is it a girl’s name? A surname? Is it only for men? Is it also for women? Is it a slur? Is it a reclaimed slur? Is it just a word? Where are you in time? What language are you speaking? Are you personally more attracted to genitals or hands or smells or the whole package? Can you sometimes fall for someone not typically your type? Is it a personality thing? How much of your attraction is influenced by your genetics, the balance of hormones in your parent’s womb, your society, your upbringing, your friends?

The only available answer is a non-answer because sexual orientation isn’t an arithmetic question. There’s no A+B=C that can be applied universally to all people who identify with a certain term. Any more than one singular definition can be given to a country, a gender, a continent. There’s some things that just don’t have one solid iron clad definition and anyone attempting to give them one typically has an agenda.

Anon, I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and hope that you’re not here attempting to cause trouble and that you’re genuinely curious. But if you’re here attempting to set up bait, please reconsider how you think about definitions and queer identities and identity more broadly.

[dartxo]

"Conchero"

2021

Concheros are Mexican traditional dancers with heavy Mesoamerican influence. They are sometimes refered to "Aztec dancers", though the dance is not strictly speaking Aztec or indigenous. It's not uncommon to find them in public squares and parks anywhere in Mexico.