#metaphorically it absolutely is but in this instance i mean so literally

[aventurineswife]

helos fre :3 random but any thoughts on self aware hsr 🙏🙏 ngl it's absolute peak to me cuz the fics I've read about it is so good I wanna digest it into my blood cells 😍🥰🥰/hj /lh

AHHHH I HAVE FEW BUT ITS PROBABLY NOT GOOD 😭🙏 (I might need to write a series about it in the future lmaoo)

The Express itself, and the crew aboard it, start referencing an "observer" that influences their journey. They might leave cryptic remarks like, "We wouldn’t have made it here without a guiding force…" or, "Are you out there, watching us?"

Himeko and Welt have deep discussions about the metaphysical implications of being part of a "game." Welt's past in other dimensions makes him particularly reflective.

Occasionally, your Trailblazer might break the fourth wall and stare directly "out" of the screen. They’d ask questions like, "Why are you helping us? What’s in it for you?" Or even, "Do you think you’re doing the right thing?"

Their dialogue changes subtly depending on your in-game decisions, showing that they’re paying attention.

Kafka is one of the few who seems fully aware that you’re pulling the strings. She might tease, "How long will you keep playing this game? Or is it playing you?" It’s unclear if she means it literally or as a metaphor.

Pela starts digging into the concept of "higher dimensions" where powerful entities (like the players) influence their world. You might find hidden journal entries speculating about the possibility of unseen forces guiding their lives.

Characters start commenting on how often you farm the same materials or run the same domains (?). For instance, Dan Heng might say, "You’ve had me fight this exact enemy over fifty times… What are you preparing for?"

When summoning characters, some of them might react to being "chosen." For example: Silver Wolf might say, "Took you long enough. Were you saving for someone else?" While Seele could mutter, "You really wanted me, didn’t you?"

As beings tied to the metaphysical order of the universe, the Aeons might perceive your existence. Xianzhou scholars hypothesize that you are an entity akin to an Aeon of "Control" or "Fate."

The Stellaron within the Trailblazer seems to have an awareness of you, treating you like an ally—or a potential threat. It might whisper cryptic messages about your choices or consequences.

Herta becomes suspicious of the odd behaviors in the universe and starts referring to you as a "prime variable." She might even try to communicate directly through simulated events, asking for your cooperation.

Some characters, like March 7th or Natasha, might express gratitude for your care and attention. "You always bring me along… Do you think I’m special?" they might ask, breaking the fourth wall.

Certain antagonists, like Cocolia or Jade, might break from their usual dialogue to challenge your decisions. "You think you’re the hero? You’re just another player, aren’t you?"

A secret cutscene or dialogue could play if you act in unexpected ways, revealing that the characters have fully realized their reality. It could be bittersweet, with them either embracing or lamenting their lack of agency.

Aventurine might acknowledge your influence subtly. After completing a mission for the IPC, he sends a message: "Noticed your knack for efficiency. You deserve a little bonus for all the extra effort you 'inspire.' Don’t let it go to your head." He attaches an unusually large amount of credits, as though recognizing you directly for optimizing his profits.

Argenti might kneel before the screen during a heartfelt moment (or after a battle): "O noble guide, it is your divine hand that shapes my path! I dedicate my blade not just to the people, but to you. May your will continue to shine upon us!" He also gifts you rare items or sends messages of gratitude, as though you're a divine figure he serves.

AHHH I wanna write fics for certain characters or something (this could also lead to yandere themes depending if the person/anon reqs for it).

[moutheyes]

gelboys cinematography go brrr: episode 6, part 1

aka everything that's NOT about the zoom summit, because tumblr's screencap limit is 30 so that is getting its own post. this episode gagged me so hard, like ok boss kuno way to drive us all into a frenzy and then make us wait a week before the big finale.

previously: episodes 1-2 | episode 3 | episode 4 | episode 5

clean hands, covered feet

this show uses direct POV shots pretty strategically, and these two instances stood out to me in this ep. first, the shot of bua washing his hands—the metaphor here is obvious, with the lack of nail art signifying an attempted fresh start for everyone. (chian still has his nails done when he discovers he's been blocked by fourmod at the start of the ep but later his nails are bare as well, while fourmod wants to get his nails done but is shot down by faifa, which to me says he's still not over chian.)

secondly, baabin's POV of his socked feet, which don't quite hide the evidence of his new nail art with bua. I'm torn about whether his initial rejection of bua (immediately after their makeout) was denial or not, but what's clear is that he doesn't want to see the evidence of any potential connection with bua because that would be an implied betrayal of fourmod.

to add another layer to baabin's compilcated feelings, we have this contrast:

the shot of the shoes is brief, but it signifies the restoration of fourmod and baabin's friendship after the scene in the classroom. the intimacy of baabin and bua's intertwined feet and painted toenails (which baabin hides beneath two pairs of socks) vs. the visible declaration of the matching shoelaces. which one feels more real? I don't think the show has a definitive answer for this!

light and shadow

for all of baabin's reassurances to bua that there's nothing to hide about their friendship, that bua should still do the things he likes—making dance tiktoks, getting his nails done��he himself doesn't behave with the same conviction, which is highlighted by differences in lighting and framing in the makeout scene and the reconciliation scene.

nighttime means intimacy, yes, but it also means artificial lighting, means the ability to hide away and play pretend and kissing just to kiss. that second shot is pretty important, since it reveals their tucked-away location, just off a busy street, making the entire moment feel even more secretive.

and then we have baabin arriving to offer fourmod comfort after getting dumped by faifa:

staging this moment so baabin enters shadow-first, briefly covering fourmod in isolation—fucking ouch. but the moment passes, and here the lighting is dim but warm, natural this time instead of artificial, and baabin's pink hoodie becomes the solace that fourmod desperately needs.

subject framing

this show remains so good at drawing the viewer's eye to the subject even when they are positioned at the back of a crowded room, and they use various techniques to do it. in addition to things like height variation and perspective lines, the first two examples silhouette the subject against a centered frame (chian with the door, baabin with the window), while the second two rely on contrasting colors (faifa's red sweater, baabin's orange shirt) on an angled plane.

... fourmod I swear to god stop running

I'm going to need someone to make a supercut of all the times fourmod has evaded, avoided, or otherwise physically removed himself from someone else's gaze in this show. just an absolute teenager move, literally running away from his inner demons.

(to me, the first frame was when fourmod's brain decided it was time to sabotage his relationship with faifa.) no matter who he's dating, this is A Pattern Of Behavior for him. it took faifa and the rest of their friend group literally cornering him in the bathroom for a real confrontation, the one that left him fully—albeit briefly—isolated for the first time in the series.

this is also just a fantastic shot composition, framing baabin apart from the others while the mirror creates the illusion that he is still standing with the group.

anyway, keep this in mind for part 2...

[haleigh-sloth]

I always was under the vague impression that blue lock was some kind of sports anime Hunger games situation where they had very literal death matches. Finding out that it is like.... a yaoi bait sports anime is the plot twist of the century for me.

do not give me the opportunity to talk about blue lock I literally will never shut up (thank you)

I haven't watched squid games but people make the comparison a lot and the comparison is made in-manga as well. It IS intense, like if they lose or get disqualified they will NEVER be allowed to play for Japan EVER. So the stakes are high, as far as soccer is concerned I guess. Lol.

Also you're telling me. I started it bc I was watching Haikyuu and enjoying it and I thought blue lock's art was fire so I gave it a go. Didn't expect it to literally be this:

Also it's quite literally beyond yaoi bait in some instances....lol

I saw a comment that said "blue lock's soccer is a metaphor for gay sex" and, well, the dialogue/internal thoughts and phrasings in their matches were already suggestive, so when they started openly flirting and talking about climaxing and getting off on the field I was like, well, okay

that doesn't even include the times they talk about finding "pleasurable moments" from beating each other and "colliding with each other and erupting" while scoring a goal

There's one character who compares scoring a goal to fertilizing an egg in a uterus and when he scored a goal he told the audience he was going to knock them up so (this character is also openly gay, he and one other character were confirmed in a gay couple, lmao, but also it's unlikely many of these characters are actually straight so there's also that)

this panel is where all the unhinged sexual commentary started, and from here it just NEVER fucking stopped

and imo that's an insane yet genius way to tell your audience "hey this manga is about to get pretty openly homo and here is your introduction"

it's also a fucking harem manga without it being a harem, literally every main character is obsessed with the main character in some way, some more than others. One character is very much in love with him (he says I love you using aishiteru, among other moments that are like...yeah), the others either admire him in a weird but somewhat supportive way or have let him absolutely ruin their psyche for what are not-very-acceptable-reasons imo

yeah yeah death match, the thing is there's only one character who talks about killing everyone when he's playing and he's one of the only ones who isn't talking about getting hard and getting off on the field, so when he's the main one talking about killing everyone (one person in particular) it's less intense death-match energy and more fucking hilarious "holy shit this dude is crazy and kind of a sad loser someone help him" energy (he's the sole token sad emo boy of the story, he's also the biggest problem in the story, so there's that)

anyway I mean both in and out of context this panel is just hilarious

[aerinmoriarty]

Taylor Swift frequently references other media in her work in a number of ways. Visual references to films like Wizard of Oz in her music videos, auditory references to Jimmy Eat World in Clara Bow, Dead Poets Society references in TTPD… I speculate she uses dozens if not hundreds of pieces of media to add context to her songs and performances.

It’s important to remember that at her root, Taylor is far more than “just a pop star” or even “just a performance artist.” At her root, Taylor is a storyteller, and one who has an enormous array of methods and modalities of storytelling. Writing songs is just one.

Because of this, because Taylor loves cramming as many layers of meaning as she can into every word or phrase, and because Crestfallen by Smashing Pumpkins is one of my all time favorite songs, it didn’t take me long after discovering Champagne Problems to wonder…

Wait. Does “Crestfallen on the landing” have multiple layers of meaning?

Not just “I’m feeling Crestfallen while I’m standing here on this landing” but also…

…the song Crestfallen is literally playing (or metaphorically running through her mind) while this event is occurring?

And so that got me just considering Champagne Problems more through that lens, adding that context of Crestfallen, taking two of the most heartbreaking songs from two artists I love…

(sometimes I think I just enjoy breaking my own heart)

And especially because I have always viewed Champagne Problems as a karma-type scenario, a tale of 2 engagements/marriages. One where Taylor leaves her muse standing alone, one where her muse leaves Taylor standing alone…

And Taylor understanding in that moment, finally, the pain she’d caused.

Now look, are these literal engagements/marriages, are they another instance of Taylor explaining business using relationships as metaphors, are they maybe less formal in the sense that they’re less weddings and more agreements to come out together or handfastings or agreements to be more exclusive or to prioritize the relationship over the career?

Who knows if we will ever know, the way Miss “keep it secret, keep it safe,” “every bait and switch was a work of art,” “I can show you lies,” tends to write and rewrite and contextualize and recontexualize everything in her life. And hell, it may even be more than 2 specific scenarios being discussed here and she’s talking about events that have been cyclical in her life…. *throws up hands*

Either way, It’s interesting to consider and it’s heartrending if you layer the added sentiment of Crestfallen atop it.

And it’s also interesting cause Crestfallen came out in 1998 and I know a lot of people theorize Taylor wanted to release a rock album named 1998, and that she’s Easter egged that year in the past so media from this year may be of specific interest to her.

And look, I’m probably never going to have significant evidence that she deliberately intended this, beyond a “general vibe”

But also… I don’t really care? One of the things that has been the most fascinating about developing theories surrounding the Taylor Swift Multimedia Universe and trying to figure out which albums and films and songs and poems and books and performances are being referenced by Taylor in her art and albums and performances is just…

The process of the theorycrafting is exceptionally fun. The process of considering media in the context of Taylor’s art and looking for evidence that they’re connected is extremely fun.

It’s fun in that way a lot of us have lacked since we were in school writing book reports and film analyses for fun.

It’s also fun in a very nostalgia-pilled, memecore fashion that no it’s Becky would absolutely vibe with. And remember: Taylor is seemingly simultaneously existing across many eras right now. She can’t use her social media to meme the way she used to.

But she’s still memeing. Hiding clips and references to all her favorite franchises in her work.

I dunno what point I was trying to make; I kinda just got high and info dumped into my tumblr sooo sorry

[waitmyturtles]

As I did last week, I have more constructive criticism for Jack & Joker, so, trigger warning again, please fly away if you can't deal with objective criticism of your faves.

What frustrates me about the construction of this show is that it's tripping on its own feet. And I shouldn't use the indefinite article; I should call out director Tee Bundit directly, because we saw him do this in spades in Step By Step. Tee did everything he could to avoid building a real narrative romance between the SBS leads, and the emotional beats that succeeded their late-series intimate breakthrough were not syncopated properly to match the development of a convincing relationship.

The incomplete beats at hand here are not as bad as they were in SBS. What's keeping me going on in Jack & Joker is that, at least, we are getting separate emotional development trajectories for Jack and Joke -- and a nice, hearty head-smack from Ah Mah at the end of the episode, towards Jack and his inclination to shut down and keep his shit internal. Ah Mah is trying to get Jack to know how to act as family, and she did the same with Joke's father earlier in the episode.

Like I said last week, I think this show has some really wonderful family-related thematic gems like the ones I just mentioned for this week's episode. Yin and War are acting these themes out with heart. Jack's in a really tough spot. The robber clowns will get together again next week to try to get him out of his tough spot.

And I know many of us are upset with Joke's dad, as I am, too, he's a real piece of shit, but his scenes with Joke struck me as very real to the experience of an insanely strict Asian dad. I've written about this too many times to count, but the ability of an Asian parent to cut their kids off like that is a concept that majority Western culture hasn't contemplated, except in instances of religion, sexism, bigotry, etc., but anyway -- that kind of cut-off doesn't exist as part of the everyday Western mentality about parenting, whereas in Asian parenting styles, to reject the patriarchal hierarchy could mean permanent separation, as Joke's dad has enacted to Joke. The fact that the motherfucker reconsidered AFTER EATING JOKE'S FOOD struck me as deeply sexist ("the way to a man's" blah blah, UGH), so I'm glad Ah Mah told that bitch off, but I did think those scenes were done well and realistically.

Anyway, where this series is absolutely lagging is in the EDITING. All these rich people games. I think there are many more concise narrative ways that we can be told that the rich play with the lives of the poor, than to give us bloated scene after bloated scene of literal gaming. Forget metaphors! Just give us some well-written, snappy dialogue about how these rich people are total assholes! We'll believe it!

And at the same time, I'm feeling bad for Rose, honestly. She likes Jack! She has no idea her crush on him is caught up in this Boss bullshit. She's gonna be hurt! And they're gonna rob her house now? I mean, I think what Tee is saying (I think?!?!?!) is that what comes to her, she deserves, because she's as scummy as the rest of the other scummy rich people (Ajahn Pichai, was that you?!). But like, this is her dad's shit?! So she gets automatically blamed because she's a nepo baby? I mean, I guess, if you're a reader of New York Magazine, that's reasonable thinking, but like, some of us are moral thinkers here!

This shit is complicated, and for an episode that was ONE HOUR. AND. 21. MINUTES. LONG., we could have a shorter AND clearer episode that could have scrubbed at the grout of these otherwise very interesting moral quandaries. But instead, we got video games from some dusty-ass rich boy who needs a goddamn bath.

I know, I know we haven't gotten the intimacy payoffs for any of the implied couples yet, and maybe this is part of YinWar's intention in having so much control over their script. But I did wonder if I was watching a Series Y/BL, or if I was watching a dramedy instead. I don't really care what genre it's in. But what I would like is for the themes to be crystal-clearly focused so that us, the viewers, can lean into what the cast and showmakers WANT us to care about -- which, thematically, I'm unclear on at this moment.

[lunalit-river]

Cultural difference [or, ME puzzled again] when it comes to patricide possibility in DN

Patricide (today's topic) (I'm starting to like this format)

This post is inspired by this clip on Youtube. I translated it partially in this post and combined it with my own research.

In China-influenced East Asian cultures, the mother traditionally handles day-to-day childcare, while the father’s role is more formal—appearing mainly in moments of discipline, teaching, or moral instruction.

Fathers typically appear in very "formal" situations and relationships with their sons. They teach their children how to play sports, how to write, and offer life lessons. You see this in stories of emperors—how a father taught his son to ride a horse, to read, to learn—but never tended to his son's daily needs. It is expected that fathers be strict, and it is culturally accepted that they do not participate in everyday caregiving. In traditional ethics, a father is meant to maintain distance and uphold authority when educating his son.

The power imbalance in father-son relationships in Chinese-culture-influenced countries—by which I mean China, Taiwan, Vietnam, Japan, and South Korea (North Korea has a very different concept)—can often be seen in literature… or more notably, not seen.

In contrast, Western literature has long explored the theme of patricide. For example, in Greek mythology, there’s the story of Oedipus (who unknowingly killed his father and married his mother), and in Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov, the central theme revolves around patricide.

You rarely see instances of “killing your father” in Chinese literature.

As for Japanese literature, I’ve yet to find any examples—only in modern works does the theme begin to appear, and even then, it’s explored in more psychologically nuanced ways, not as literal patricide. Most of these works challenge the system of patriarchy and inherited ethics on a symbolic level.

Osamu Dazai’s No Longer Human and Ryūnosuke Akutagawa’s Hell Screen portray rebellion against authority and symbolic paternal power. Yukio Mishima’s Confessions of a Mask explores father-son tensions, but not patricide. In Haruki Murakami’s 1Q84 and Kafka on the Shore, the theme of “killing the father” emerges as a key metaphor for confronting fate or escaping an oppressive structure—but again, not in a literal, physical sense.

Both Chinese and Japanese cultures were influenced by Confucianism, in which the concept of "孝" (filial piety) plays a central role. It's difficult to fully explain 孝 to Western audiences because there's no direct equivalent. It's more than simply being a good, obedient child or showing respect to one's elders—it's a deep sense of obligation to repay the love and care received from one's parents. It’s a heavy-duty that children are expected to bear, and it lies at the heart of Confucianism, which, as I mentioned in my previous analysis, functions as a framework for establishing hierarchy and maintaining social order and control.

(A Photo of children washing their parent's feet to show their respect and repay their love) (yeah this not only is held in China but also taiwan) (I have never participated before, but I know my peers have when they were younger)

It's almost a form of utilitarianism between parent and child. There's a saying "養兒防老" (Bring up children for the purpose of being looked after in old age) shows how this works in traditional society.

The father-son relationship is almost an absolute power dynamic—one that feels impossible to challenge. It begins as a relationship of hierarchy and imbalance, and only secondarily as a familial bond. It is a form of patriarchy, and its influence can still be seen in society today.

And now back to Death Note. I commented on this post about the translation on HTR:13. The difference between "I don't want to depict patricide" vs. "I decided Light would never kill his own father, so I worked hard to make the death an accident."

Even though the translation difference would indicate a slightly different meaning, I would want to give a definite answer to "Would Light kill his father to protect the false rule?"

No. He would not. Even though the author stated in a different wording.

Because that is not part of the cultural framework in East Asian countries. It goes against what Light believes—beliefs that were instilled in him from a young age. This concept may even run deeper than his belief in “eliminating criminals and establishing justice, thus becoming the new god of the world” (a belief he had already harbored for some time). He did consider sacrificing his sister, Sayu, but it’s important to note that sibling relationships don’t carry the same kind of power imbalance as the father-child dynamic.

And when using this lens to interpret L and Watari’s relationship, it’s clear that—at least in canon—it is not a father-son dynamic. It resembles more what Japanese media often fantasizes about: the butler and his master (like Black Butler). Japanese manga and anime are notably drawn to British culture—I should probably research more on why Japanese works are so fond of it. Naturally, when they try to incorporate Western cultural elements into such relationships, it doesn’t align with the traditional East Asian concept of a father-son relationship.

[witchynyx]

So I'm currently reading Culpeper's Medicine: A Practice of Western Holistic Medicine by Tobyn Graeme (2013) (while I work on my edition of Culpeper's Herbal), and his discussion on the classical elements and their properties has me thinking about the role of gender in Western witchcraft.

Now people much smarter than me have been talking about the completely arbitrary ways in which a chunk of folks use gender in the context of modern witchcraft practices - specifically the stuff that largely seems to come from (or be influenced by) Wicca (idk how present it is in the Western Occultism that preceded Wicca, it's mostly also pretty problematic so I give it a wide berth) - but my brain is having thoughts and I must share them!

So there's this tendency (you may have noticed if you've read almost any witchy book ever) to assign a binary gender property to basically anything in existence. And if you ask someone who does this about it, they'll often start tripping over themselves trying to explain how it's not sexist or transphobic or gender-essentialist, it's just a natural polarity that absolutely doesn't carry any of our cultural baggage around gender!

Because, actually, things that are 'male' are 'hot' and 'active', and things that are 'female' are 'cold' and 'passive/receptive' (but also we can't just use those words, because 🤷🏼‍♀️) - and, as you can clearly see, there is nothing sexist or gender-essentialist about it! Those are facts! And this is how folks have always categorised things, so who am I to argue with the Really Important People who say this is the way of things?!

And, I mean, if there's one things humans love, it's understanding the world by organising things and grouping them into categories. And one of the common frameworks for understanding, organising, and categorising things from Ancient Greece up until modern science, really, came into its own was Empedocles' system of the 4 elements (then built upon by Plato and Aristotle, and Hippocrates in the medical context). As a result, this framework is still used pretty heavily in occultism and witchcraft, albeit a little more metaphorically than literally.

Now we can see that hot and cold are both terms we might use here to describe the properties of something, which is cool, it checks out, and they're opposites, because we love a binary. But this concept doesn't really map with the descriptions folks have used (male=hot/active, female=cold/passive/receptive), because this system labels both 'hot' and 'cold' as active forces. Which makes sense: Hot things (or spaces) can make other things hot, and likewise for cold. They're both properties that actively impact on other things. As Graeme says, "the active qualities hot and cold can also be seen to denote the dispersive and aggregative aspects of energy, respectively. So, the heat of the Sun, for instance, evaporates and disperses moisture while cold will condense it into ice." Cool, love it. Science.

So maybe we look at the active/passive binary, then?

"Similarly the passive qualities dry and moist describe the resistant and receptive aspects... respectively."

... Because 'the feminine', you'll note, is celebrated for its passive/receptive nature. Specifically.

And you might notice that the two titles assigned to women in society (based on their actions) are generally receptive (aka submissive), or 'bitches/witches/frigid/wh*res' should they dare be resistant to their rightful masculine overlords.

It's almost like passivity has a 'good' (receptive/pliable/acquiescing) side, and a 'bad' (resistant/stable/fixed) side... But when we apply those same properties to our (completely objective) gender descriptors, somehow the passive property that we find undesirable in women... just magically disappear?

Masculine is hot, feminine is cold.

Masculine is active, feminine is passive:

Feminine is passive: Receptive (yes, good), but never resistant (bad).

It's just objective fact. That's what the genders mean, and there's no other way to express the properties of things without applying gender descriptors to them with those (absolutely-not-at-all-biased) descriptions/definitions. But it's got nothing to do with sexism or gender essentialism.

🙃

(Why did that take an instant to think, but an hour to write? Also apologies for any lack of clarity on the phrasing, my seroquel was kicking in as I was writing this, so here's hoping my words say to other people what I intended them to. Clicking 'post' anyway because I know it'll never be seen again if I pop it in my drafts)

[lost-inanotherlife]

Lost S1 Rewatch after 20 years - scattered FINAL thoughts

other thoughts here

I think I'm becoming a bit of an anti-Charlie because I really can't stand him, like at all. He used to be one of my favorites but clearly 20 years did no good to his character. I mean, COME ON, he's hyperfixated on Claire and her baby and wants to protect them at all cost BUT he leaves them alone with Rousseau? A literally stranger, just like Ethan was? AND THEN he takes it out on Sayid and blames him? AND THEN Sayid is the one who actually saves Aaron and Charlie gets the credit? Ugh. S1 Charlie is the worst.

My feelings for the characters' backstories are quite mixed. On the one hand, they are undoubtedly stereotypical, on the other I can't help but admire the writers' command of archetypes. In Lost there are A LOT of main characters but they ALL have a solid backstory. In other words, the characters' stories are coherent, consistent and ultimately extremely well-written. The writers put in a lot of effort and succeeded in portraying each story with a few strokes of the metaphorical brush. The line between stereotype and archetype is a thin one and can be easily crossed; Lost's writers approach it very very closely but they somehow manage to retreat a few moments before the disaster. I'm in awe.

I'll always, always, be soft and weak for Sun and Jin. Maybe it's because Yunjin Kim and Daniel Dae Kim are incredibly talented actors. With the exception of Terry O'Quinn and the two Kims, all other actors don't start off really strong. It's okay because by the end of S1 they have all, to varying degrees, sort of grown into their characters or, at least, they feel more at ease playing them. On the other hand, specifically Daniel Dae Kim's acting choices are precise and beautifully executed from the start. You can't really do anything else but end up liking Jin.

I remember I was shocked by Boone's death and, 20 years later, I still feel sorry over it. I think his character had a lot of hidden potential, I don't know why they killed him off (I mean, maybe the actor wanted out? I don't think so! For shock value? Could be! I should do some research). I liked the fact that he was sort of an anti-hero or, perhaps more correctly, a wannabe failing hero. It would've been cool to see his arc unfold, I think. Too bad.

Kate and Jack confuse me. There's clearly something between them but I'm starting to suspect it's not love? Jack is insanely besotted with her but he's also quite demanding and over-protective and honestly? Dude, chill, there's literally no need, she eats guys like you for breakfast. Kate, on the other hand, is also unfair to him. For instance, she wants him to believe that she would never poison anyone while she herself had drugged him the day before and she was indeed the mastermind behind Michael's little stomach problem (lol). It's like she wants Jack to think the best of her while she's not willing to do the work OR, even better, just to be herself and let Jack decide whether he's in or not. Mmmm.

Locke and Jack as symbolically being one person, as in a dark mirror of each other is chef's kiss. While in "White Rabbit" Locke saves Jack from falling off a cliff, in "Exodus" Jack saves Locke from being dragged underground by the black smoke. The images are the same and it was so beautiful to see. Absolutely blown-away by the command of symbolism in this series, I know it's silly to say because, DUH, it's Lost! Still mindblowing, though.

[l0stfoster]

butterfly anon yet again, bc why have I just finally processed something…to speak in memes once more, imagine the megamind ‘no bitches’ meme but instead its ‘more death designs?!’

the potential…..symbolism…..

(I’m such a nerd this is ridiculous how excited I am for metaphor potential)

aNyway, in the death design post I noticed Johnny refers to Death as she, so (as you’ve said death is they / them) was this just retconning/change of mind, or did Johnny not know/perceived death more feminine? (Coughmotherissuescough)

also, even though that post said Johnny’s perception changes, would his be the most accurate? (As Death can mess w/ his death tingle (take that Peter tingle) does that potentially mean Johnny sees Death how they desire to be perceived?

WOAH WAIT HOLD THE DING DANG PHONE

DOTS HAVE BEEN CONNECTED

wait I can’t find the post I might have made this up, dots unconnected thrown in incinerator

Moving on to similar dots, Paul’s ancestor, curse creator, would they not have met death? Wait wait would there have been a discussion? Cause like Death big powerful and this witch just made big curse? Is this in relation to why Death is featureless for Paul?????

(Paul anon if you have thoughts pls join in theorizing, Paul is your blorbo you probably know more)

I love watching you realize things it's so awesome I noticed that Johnny refers to Death as she, so (as you’ve said, death is they/them) was this just retconning/change of mind, or did Johnny not know/perceive death as more feminine? (Coughmotherissuescough)

- Although I personally use they/them when referring to Death, I do feel that they can be referred to with, quite literally anything! It's a matter of a person's own perception, and I also felt like it was better to use a proper set of pronouns for Death rather than calling them it, which takes some of the human nature out of them. I also didn't want to use she/her or he/him at the time because that might make people automatically gender Death as male or female. They're beyond gender, that's a whole-ass borderline god. - Death uses any/all pronouns, call them whatever you'd like! I do they/them for writing's sake; since switching up actively might confuse people. - Johnny usually uses she/her for Death, it's mostly the mother issues. In this AU his mother's the one who 'killed' him, hence his meeting Death.

Also, even though that post said Johnny’s perception changes, would his be the most accurate? Does that potentially mean Johnny sees Death how they desire to be perceived?

- You could argue that Johnny holds the most accurate perception of Death, yes, as the first time they appeared to him was the form they specifically chose to appear to him in. (Novva made a comic for it, but Death appeared very motherly to him) - His perception of Death usually abides by that, but sometimes they're more masculine, or sometimes they don't have identifiable features. Sometimes they're just a void of darkness; something that can surround him and provide a sense of security when he really needs it. He sees Death in his dreams on occasion, so there are multiple instances where she'll change.

Moving on to similar dots, Paul’s ancestor, the curse creator, would they not have met death? Wait wait would there have been a discussion? Cause like Death, big powerful, and this witch just made big curse? Is this in relation to why Death is featureless for Paul?????

- You're pretty close!! The Witch did meet Death once, yes; likely at the end of their life. Usually, you only meet Death when you're in limbo, but I think they can choose to change that. There wasn't much discussion; Death absolutely thought the curse was overkill (we discussed the idea that maybe the witches' partner was killed and the curse was set as a kind of revenge, but it's not canon right now) and unnecessarily made things so much more difficult,, but then Death claimed Johnny, and suddenly they knew the lengths a person would go for those they love. - Death is featureless for Paul because he's never truly thought of them as anything; save for the obvious association of butterflies with her. Once he starts to associate Death with Johnny, Death would likey to change to hold some of his features as well; similar to the way that Dally views Death.

[noitsbecky127]

rebecca watches ds9: the visitor

liveblogging from the jersey shore tonight! my room at nana’s place has a tv so life is good

where are we rn

awww sisko father-son pic

Contemplating The Baseball

what the hell is going on

who is this man

this chick’s a writer! friend of jake’s?

sorry what the fuck

what is this timeline we have entered

i have so many questions and absolutely no answers

“i lost my favorite pen” sir pens are obsolete

is old man jake gonna explain what this timeline is

YOUR FATHER FUCKING WHAT NOW

obviously that death won’t stick but STILL

jake is such a writer mood. when you’re in the zone nothing can pry you away from it

ok sisko’s gonna go to engineering and die for the duration of this episode

oh he’s gonna “die” saving jake isn’t he

what the shit

i bet people have written some killer fics about the aftermath of sisko’s death in this timeline

man even QUARK was trying to make him feel better

nog and jake besties is everything to me

ok well obviously the appearance of sisko is space weirdness, but it would definitely seem like a grief-induced hallucination for a bit

ok so if sisko dies everyone is fucked. gotta undo this timeline then

jake :(

i know this timeline will be erased by the end of the episode but it’s still breaking my heart

oh sisko reappeared for longer this time

he’s gonna vanish mid-conversation isn’t he

“they’ll have me fixed up in no time” no they won’t, we’re only 19 minutes in

yeah i would also quit writing if this happened to my dad

“i’m dying” it’s ok your entire timeline will be gone soon

wait, this is jake’s paternal grandfather we’re talking about here? i thought he was dead

i swear i remember sisko mentioning his father dying of an illness

the writers forgor i guess

nog is so tiny lmao

love seeing him in starfleet uniform!

and he outgrew the misogyny!

and quark got a moon!!!

morn took over the bar!!!!

man if this is how things are going in the bad alternate timeline everyone is gonna have a BLAST in canon

unless sisko’s death is the canon event that makes everyone’s lives turn out well and with his survival the thread of prophecy is severed. but i highly doubt that

imagine you’re chilling with your husband and his dead dad shows up and he’s your age

oh korena’s bajoran! did not notice that at first

i’m really glad i’m not watching this ep with my dad. i don’t think i could handle that

oh yeah that blue energy did jump on to jake a bit when it first happened

i would watch a whole show about captain nog

everyone’s so fucking old

old lady jadzia! and old man julian!!

old man julian has a kid. it’s definitely with garak

hey if it’s been 50 years then that means they’re both like 80. they look pretty good for 80

instructions unclear, jake stuck in subspace

oh that conversation with him and sisko HURT

old man jake seems to have a new plan but i cannot figure out what it is

ah. i suppose cutting the cord means death in this instance

contemplating the baseball is a sisko family tradition

he was dragging his dad with him both literally and metaphorically :(

ok that was emotionally devastating. i was planning to do two episodes tonight but idk if i have another one in me

[anticidic]

Hello, if you don't mind, can I ask your top 5 favorite characters from BSD? Why you love them? And, what are your top 7 favorite moments from that series?

Also, from which author (BSD characters) have you read the books? Hope my question is not confusing.

Thanks if you want to answer....

ooh, hi!! sure!

this has gotten incredibly long, so I'll be putting a good portion of it under a read more.

Favorite characters

Dazai

Chuuya

Fyodor

Mushitaro

Ango

Dazai: He's the kind of character where just when I think I'm starting to finally crack the code and understand him, turns out nope, I was wrong all along with my interpretations and couldn't be more far off. I more "love-hate" him because I absolutely do not defend his past transgressions, but acknowledge he has come a long way from the dark place he used to find himself in.

What particularly interests me about him is his amorality. He does what he does or did what he did in the past and does not see his choices as good or bad, just a means to an end. And I like how that aspect of him clashes with Ango, where Ango would question why do we have to sacrifice one person to save 100 when we can save everyone? Having to sacrifice someone should not even be an option. Whereas Dazai would see it as sacrificing that one to save 100 and think nothing of it, because obviously saving as many people as possible is the goal, even if someone has to die for it. And also that the way he views the universe and the people: he treats it oddly, like it's all an experiment to study. He likes studying people, seeing what makes them crack, laugh, cry. And wants to understand why because what makes one person cry does not make him cry.

Chuuya: Man just can't catch a break sometimes. But I like that he's incredibly intelligent and empathetic. Obligatory read Stormbringer NOW. When he's put beside the likes of Dazai and Fyodor he ends up getting foreshadowed, but standalone he's shown that he's capable of making his own deductions and figuring people out in similar veins. Not to mention the fact that he's experienced loss time and time again, literally to those closest to him, but he still gets back up and dusts himself off. And the fact it hasn't embittered him to hold grudges against everyone—we still see how trusting he is of Dazai, for instance. And he still treats Shirase like a friend. I think he harbors a lot of guilt, but he doesn't let it break him.

Fyodor: It's still hard to have a 100% confident opinion of him with what's been going on in the manga up until now, but until the plot continues to advance, I'm standing with the side that I don't think he has a god complex, but more of a savior complex. He's so completely assured that he's doing the right thing and is blinded by the fact that he's actually hurting a lot of people in his quest to save people. He's burdened himself with the task of essentially saving the world of ability users and is taking on the consequences of doing so until the end. I think it ties in with his religious motifs.

Mushitaro: I was immediately drawn to him. He presents as a bit, well, grandiose at first. Thinks himself above others, detectives are basically the dirt beneath his feet, but (and this ties into one of my favorite moments) when it came time for Yokomizo to die and we saw just how distraught Mushitaro was over losing Yokomizo and having to be the one who carried that will out, those emotions were raw. The mask he had on just completely cracked and we see a man who is tasked with carrying out the will of his friend in the worst possible way, and does it anyway. He's no longer concerned about outsmarting and besting others. All he can think of is loss. It knocks him down from his metaphorical pedestal he believed himself to be on, just to learn he's like everyone else. He is not invincible.

Ango: I consider him an embodiment of guilt. He doesn't live for himself, he's like a puppet on strings being tugged in all different directions and forced to dance to the tune of the puppet master (in this case, the government). He basically has no free will. That he's self-aware some of the things he's had to do were wrong and would hurt people makes me respect that a lot. He knows he's no better than anyone else, and there isn't much he can do to make peace with that or make it up to others he's hurt in the process. He clearly has beliefs that conflict with the government, such as disagreeing with having to sacrifice any of its citizens for the greater good and the "killing two birds with one stone" choices like introducing Mimic to Japan in order to also try to wipe out the Port Mafia.

As for my favorite moments (I'll keep this shorter):

Perfect Crime Arc: I know this is cheating as a whole arc, but I thought it was very well-done. Ranpo's look of disbelief when he couldn't figure out it was Mushitaro behind the crime. How Mushitaro thought himself invincible. Then how it all came crashing down.

Mori putting Tachihara's hat back on after hunting dog reveal: Tachihara was the shocked one, while Mori had a knowing smile. He knew. And had absolutely nothing to say other than to put Tachihara's hat on his head.

Yosano vs Kajii fight on the train: we get a glimpse into who Kajii is and his beliefs, which I thought was neat. Wish we would've gotten more. Yosano didn't respect Kajii's disregard for life and his careless experimentation.

Nathaniel vs Akutagawa: I loved the easter egg that Akutagawa called himself 'diablo'. It wasn't to be edgy, but it was a reference of how real life Akutagawa thought of himself despite being extremely religious. He thought he would go to hell as he died with the bible in hand. Also, Margaret sacrificing herself.

Atsushi & Akutagawa vs Ivan: I liked the implications of this more so than the fight itself. Atsushi and Akutagawa working together, and they fuse their abilities together. The trust they had in one another to do that.

Buraiha Trio taking a photo together: Pretty self-explanatory. Thought it was pretty impactful of them all taking a photo and how it would be the last time they were together.

Dazai & Ango visiting Oda's grave: Also pretty self-explanatory. It's not animated, but Ango has visited Oda's grave even in the rain. And Dazai continues to visit his grave. It depicts the guilt Ango had, and that Ango and Dazai truly cared about Oda.

Authors whose books I've read:

(the entirety of The Guild's members)

Dazai

Chuuya (his poems)

Fyodor

Agatha Christie

Mori

Kenji

Atsushi

Ranpo

Ayatsuji

Bram Stoker

I have Yosano and Mushitaro planned, just haven't found the time to read their works. As well as Nikolai.

[alittleanalysis]

On Someone Else's Opinion

Now I love James Acaster as much as anyone else, but this post annoyed me, because... uh no... that line devoid of context doesn't actually mean anything. It lacks the acknowledgement of circumstance to be in any way insightful.

Take for instance "What if every relationship you've ever been in, is someone slowly figuring out they didn't like you as much as they hoped they would?" a related James Acaster quote, and notice how even completely separated from the original context it still works as a sad if not a little overly dramatic line. One that could exist within a larger more poetic work.

However "i was standing in someone else's happiness begging to be let in" doesn't work unless you know what is being spoken about, because "... standing in someone else's happiness ..." is a purely metaphorical sentiment, which can only be interpreted through the lens of some literal object. In the special it's the confetti from a wedding proposal, as James attempts to attend a therapy session which the therapist forgot about after being proposed to, this serves to reinforce James' loneliness and personal issues which are the central thematic through line of the special. Devoid of that context the line itself doesn't actually point to anything.

But what if that's what op intends, that the line is poignant because removed from context it can still be related to and understood, but that just returns to the fundamental issue that the "... standing in someone else's happiness ..." is not a relatable expression, because of how few things it can literally represent, none of which is helped by the fact that "... begging to be let in ..." abstracts the idea even further, meaning in order for the line to work on its own one must have experienced both standing in something which can be said to represent someone else's happiness, and simultaneously be either metaphorically or literally asking to be allowed access.

Is that a thing that someone can experience, absolutely, and would someone who did, find the line meaningful and poignant hard to say, but I will acknowledge the possibility, but is it suitably poetic on its face? Hard for me to think so, as it doesn't actually point to any sort of unifying experience only to an unique experience so specific as to be meaningless with out explanation.

[minamorsart]

Who do you think is more protective: Lotor or Kylo?

*rubs hands eagerly* At last, my time has come! Hehe.

As a hardcore lotura and reylo shipper, I want to add a disclaimer that I will be mentioning those relationships, so just a heads up!

^^^^ also how GOOD do they look here??! I couldn't resist 😆

When you look at the two of them side by side, Lotor and Kylo Ren share a lot of similarities. Both experienced trauma and tragedy during their younger years that shaped them into who they are, both became ultimate powerful leaders of intergalactic empires, both can be snarky and sarcastic, both wear literal and metaphorical masks in order to hide their true selves, and both have complicated relationships with their fathers, etc.

But as much as Lotor and Kylo share in common, they also share their differences. A couple of those differences that I think are worth getting into in order to answer your question are: 1) their temperament, and 2) how they react to dangerous situations.

With Kylo, he is more physical, right? He doesn't talk much, and when he does he's usually snarky and callous. He is quick to anger, he destroys things when he gets upset, and he will react with violence towards those who get on his bad side. He uses his physicality and potential for harm in order to assert dominance. He intimidates others with his knowledge of the Dark Side of the Force, often using his power to threaten people's lives, like how he did with Poe and Hux. When he's calm he is remarkably soft spoken, but when he's angry he is big and loud and makes his presence known.

With Lotor, the man is absolutely capable of violence and anger, but only when provoked. He uses his words first, and like Kylo can be sardonic and unfeeling at times. He will talk his way around things in order to get what he wants, and is very successful at it, too. It's why he was able to turn the Galra to his side after his duel with Throk, and it is why he was able to convince the paladins to trust him. That is not to say he doesn't prove himself through his actions, of course, nor does he shy away from inflicting harm upon those who cross him, such as when he sent Throk away to the Ulippa System, and later when he let Throk be tortured by Haggar, as well as when he killed General Raht when Haggar sent the man to spy on him.

Needless to say, both Kylo and Lotor have their breaking points and triggers. So how do they act when they're being protective? Honestly, at first it might seem a little hard to imagine them being protective towards anyone, because everything they have worked so hard for, everything they have used their strength and intelligence for, was to their own advantage, as misguided and manipulated as they may have been. Neither of them had many chances to get close to other people and form positive relationships, so sadly there aren't a whole lot of examples to draw from when it comes to them being protective.

However that doesn't mean those examples don't exist! They may be few and far in between, but they are there. For Ben, we have at least two instances. The first time he feels protective of Rey is during the throne room scene, both when Snoke was torturing her and when they fought the Praetorian guards together. And then on the planet Exegol, Ben risked his life in order to get to Rey, and in the end he literally gave his life to bring her back, all for one person. True to his character, he never said a word, but showed his protectiveness through his actions.

For Lotor, we also have at least two instances, but what we've seen from him is that he feels protective towards the people as a whole rather than the one. When Zarkon threatened to destroy the planet he put his son in charge of, and then much later when he was about to fire on the Lions, what did Lotor do? True to his character, he tried to talk down the situation, to have the blame or attention placed on him instead of letting others suffer because of his father's cruelty. Sadly, he was unable to do anything the first time, and having learned his lesson, ended up killing Zarkon the second time.

Unlike Ben, Lotor is not put into any situations where a singular person he cares about is put into danger. There is no trial or test of love for the one person, not like there is for Ben. Rather, it is always a situation where the lives of many are at stake. That is one important thing to note about Voltron, is that the shows tends to focus more on plot and less on individual relationships -- with a few exceptions. So what would happen if Allura's life was in danger? Lotor admires Allura for her many strengths, not just her beauty, so I am certain he knows she's capable of handling herself. However, were she put into a life-threatening predicament like Rey, I can imagine Lotor would first try to talk down the situation like he always does. If that didn't work, then he would resort to violence, but only if absolutely necessary.

Lotor and Ben's protective mindset even carries over to when they are feeling the exact opposite towards the people they have intense hatred for. Ben wanted to destroy Luke and only Luke, and Lotor vowed to destroy everyone. It is yet another way the two differ from each other, though similarly, these scenes both happen during moments of weakness, and it's obvious that neither of them are thinking clearly.

What they do share in common, however, is that they are both self-sacrificing. Ben, battered and beaten, crawled out of that hole to reach Rey. He was willing to die for her, and gave up his own life to bring her back. Lotor, also very close to death, did not seem to care at all that his father was about to kill him. He seemed rather resigned to it, in fact. Yet he was satisfied with the fact that Zarkon's fleets had been destroyed, and was willing to die for the paladins, taking on Zarkon and giving everyone else a chance to live.

And a little sidebar for Rey and Allura before we wrap things up: there is no doubt in my mind that both women, compared to the men, are far more vocal about their fierce protectiveness over the ones they care about. I mean, just look at these screenshots! I think they speak for themselves.

So after all of that, would it be a wash to say that I think Lotor and Ben are both equally protective? Probably 😂 But I genuinely think so! I think Ben focuses more on the one, while Lotor focuses more on the many. I don't believe one way of thinking is better than the other, but it does go to show how deeply layered and complex these characters are and why I love them so much, even after all these years.

Thank you for the ask, Anon! I had a lot of fun thinking about your question and coming up with this essay, which is why it took me a while to answer, haha! If you have any counterpoints or insights you'd like to add, please do not hesitate to share! I would be delighted to hear your thoughts 😊

And one more screenshot of our boys looking at the ones they love :')

[girderednerve]

fandomposting, mea culpa,

okay here are my dumb ideas for what should happen with the homoerotic priests from the television show i didn't like enough to watch the second season of. i might change my mind about this

okay just establishing the givens here but the sexy older priest who gets excommunicated & specializes in exorcisms that ben daniels plays is named father marcus. the other priest, who is younger & has a bright future in the church until he decides he's been called to do exorcisms instead, is named father tomás; marcus is about 20 years older than tomás and is also queer, which is great but also in context kind of funny because tomás gets the ashamed of his sexuality plot (wholesome love affair with a woman who is his age & not his parishioner) while marcus is just like, unbothered, being gay & keeping his vows ("well, the ones that mattered," according to him; at one point before his excommunication he describes himself as "married to the man upstairs")

i think there is a lot of underexplored potential in the confessor relationship, especially if we mess around with an AU where marcus doesn't get excommunicated so they can do a co-confessor situation. um. i'm not a catholic & i think in real life that religious leaders absolutely should refrain from developing romantic & sexual relationships with parishioners (etc) of any kind. okay but it could be sexy in fanfiction, in my opinion, as a vehicle for two guys who are deeply isolated & continually forced to confront their failures in high-stakes, creepass situations, to get very emotionally close while having an actually good reason to maintain distance (sorry i don't care at all about the integrity of catholic doctrine or whatever, clerical celibacy is not compelling to me except as an angst generator in romantic fiction)

i am thinking about a medieval or early modern AU, because i always do but also because it would be interesting in this specific instance. a lot of the tension of the exorcist comes from this idea that there's friction between the truth (demons are real, exorcism works) & the modern setting, which treats demons as metaphorical (tomás literally says this to geena davis' character in the first episode when she asks him for help). i want a medieval AU which does not resolve this tension. people might be more willing to believe in demons, but i don't think that the practical exigencies of exorcism would necessarily be more comfortable; instead of a question of belief, it could be a question of convenience & appearances. also, even if one does generally believe in demons & miracles, one might expect these forces to be small or marginal in one's life, not forcefully, terrifyingly present. actually this bullet point is probably more about what i think about medievalism than anything else, and also how i kind of think they should've let the demons kill the pope

the other option that would be fun for me personally is if marcus is still excommunicated but tomás confesses to him anyway, for two reasons: one is that i think it would be interesting to see two priests doing very explicitly priest work (uh. exorcisms) who disaffiliate from the church on purpose, instead of being kicked out for political reasons, and treating marcus' spiritual authority as completely distinct from the church is a way into that problem; the other is that you could not do that & instead have them doing spiritual intimacy thing as a way of thinking through what it means to have been rejected by the church but not by god & not by tomás. also obviously this kind of arrangement should only happen after deep misery on both sides <3

foot washing, but homoerotic on purpose. i feel like this is a total gimme on a show that has both of its leads worry about hubris, humility, & service in a christian religious context but nobody seems to have done it?

okay writing this up i have been forced to confront that a meaningful chunk of what i like about the end of s1 is that it tees up a supernatural-like scenario, where you have two guys with ridiculous baggage driving around doing um. charitable monster hunting. so that's funny. i'm a very predictable person

i don't want to read about an internalized homophobia plot in the way that a lot of the fanfiction i have read tends to do it, but i do think it would be kind of impossibly sexy to have tomás be like, wait, this too? am i this too? & to have marcus be like, it's fine. i've gone ahead of you & cleared a path. married to the man upstairs you see

tangentially related but i think there is a lot of interest in more like, progressive (i don't think this is quite the term i mean?) published romances in the idea that romance can be emotionally healing, like one suffers with whatever emotional crisis & then one encounters a lover who resolves this issue in some profound way. like not exactly fanfiction's magic healing cock trope but sort of related: there should be an emotional catharsis usually for the female lead (if there is one; gay romances do this thing a lot) which centers on being seen, being understood, being encouraged to forgive herself or trust herself, by the romantic lead. perhaps i am incorrect about this trend & it might be clarified for me by reading an inspirational romance, because i suspect that there is some structural continuity? but anyway i am thinking about it here because where other romances must go through various contrivances (not necessarily negative) to arrive at this kind of spiritual conversation, this show's setting forces this kind of conversation directly by having a demon show up & say impossibly cruel, personal things to the characters in front of each other

[okamirayne]

Hi! I've been rereading BtB these days, and I realized there's something I've been wondering. How do you come up with such accurate metaphors to describe such abstract concepts?

Two examples that come to me are, when the psychiatrist explains the nature of a fracture psyche and compares it to a loose fist, and how integration/functionality is similar to tighten the fingers of said hand. The other one is when it's explained Shukaku's internal fail-safe mechanism to contain his trauma, is searching and killing one of the twins each night, and repeat the process all over again the next day.

There are, of course, more descriptions that are outstanding among the serie, but these exacts ones, personally struck me like lightning. I don't mean to intrude in your privacy, I was just wondering how was the process in constructing such complex imagery. Did you expect to reach such depth? Was it carefully crafted and cultivated or more along the lines of unexpectedly unavoidable once you were in the trenches of writing?

Truth is, ten years ago, I would have benefited a lot had I known how to express both of these situations with words. About the fractured psyche I used to described it as grabbing water with bare hands, but it was never a satisfying metaphor all in all :"D

The magic of writers I guess, the first time I read your works I felt like a kid that watches the rabbit being pulled out of the hat for the first time.

Obligatory, english-isn't-my-first-language warning/apology in advance.

Love you author <3

Hey there @dirty-tako 💖!

Wow! Firstly, thank you for your patience as I finally get round to responding to your lovely message. And also, thank you so much for crossing the language barrier to reach out to me 💖🫶🏼💖. I would never have suspected it wasn't your first language and wish I could command another tongue as eloquently and brilliantly as you! 🙏🏼

I've been rereading BtB these days, and I realized there's something I've been wondering. How do you come up with such accurate metaphors to describe such abstract concepts?

Ah! So, so chuffed to hear that you've revisited BtB recently, my lovely. Thanks for jumping back into that world. As for how I come up with my metaphors?

I honestly don't know how to answer that, luv. Pictures flood onto my mind-screen and I literally just write what I see, or what the characters 'say'. When I'm in flow with my writing, the imagery often takes care of itself. The two examples you gave of Dr Mushi and Shikaku are perfect examples of that. I 'saw' both those metaphoric instances playing out visually and I just scribed what I saw - it tends to come organically from the characters, if that makes sense? I know that sounds quasi-woo-woo but that's the honest to gods' truth. I wish I could say there was a specific process I used, but it always tends to come from the characters that I'm inhabiting when writing from their POV.

There are, of course, more descriptions that are outstanding among the series, but these exacts ones, personally struck me like lightning. I don't mean to intrude in your privacy, I was just wondering how was the process in constructing such complex imagery.

Gosh, thank you for your very kind praise of my writing. I don't find it intrusive of you to ask, sweetie, and I'm touched you find my insanity a point of interest. 😅💜 The process is always 'character driven' for me...I don't even know if it's helpful explaining it that way, but I can't think how else to describe it. When I'm in their skin, the metaphors tend to flow from them given their model of the world or the moment.

Did you expect to reach such depth? Was it carefully crafted and cultivated or more along the lines of unexpectedly unavoidable once you were in the trenches of writing?

Absolutely the latter, Tako. Unexpectedly unavoidable. You nailed it with that. Very much a spontaneous and organic process when it comes to the metaphors and descriptions unless I need to describe a very specific structure or do my research on Japanese architecture, specific items, or particular interior designs etc. in a scene.

Truth is, ten years ago, I would have benefited a lot had I known how to express both of these situations with words. About the fractured psyche I used to described it as grabbing water with bare hands, but it was never a satisfying metaphor all in all :"D

Oh wow! 😍 Now you see, that's such an interesting and unique take; the image you've described gives a whole different feel to a fractured psyche because you've gone with an element that is so deliciously nebulous and lends itself well to the mind. How can you hold onto consciousness with your bare hands? Beautiful. I love that.

It's strange isn't it? While you say it didn't quite hit the mark for you, for me, I find your example such a brilliant take on the mind. I could go wild with that water analogy. See? You've inspired a whole flood of images for me by sharing your personal visual perspective on the fractured psyche. I bloody love it!! 😍

The magic of writers I guess, the first time I read your works I felt like a kid that watches the rabbit being pulled out of the hat for the first time.

The magic of readers and writers connecting in the worlds that come spilling outta the ether. It's beautiful. I'm so ridiculously happy that my words touched you and vibed with you, luv. That lifts and lightens my spirit! Thank you for connecting with my work and for reaching out to connect with me. I appreciate you so much. 🥰🙏🏼

Big Love coming at you, dear reader 💜🫶🏼💜

[esta-elavaris]

22, 24, 28 please <3

22. do you ever worry about public reaction to what you’re writing? how do you get past that?

Oh, all of the time. I used to have panic attacks over CTW, and even now I still think every time I post a chapter that this will be the one that exposes me as an absolute hack and everybody will unfollow and unsub 💀 I don't think it goes away, I think it just get easier to act in spite of. I remember when I was at uni, I gave my novel writing teacher the first chapter of my novel (the one I'm still working on now lmao) and when I had a meeting with him a week later to get my feedback, I walked in already apologising for how bad it was.

He had to stop me, be like "Lucy please just read the feedback, here" as he handed me his notes, and the feedback was literally 99% praise, paired with one minor piece of criticism over a paragraph that I already knew wasn't great. It's just how I am. CTW was written years after that, and there are still times when I'm furiously justifying plot decisions because I was certain they'd be hated and I was defending myself against hate that didn't even end up sprouting up (the captaincy of the Dutchman was a big instance of that), we really are our own worst enemies a lot of the time.

I would highly recommend reading The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. But also, just get used to doing the thing in spite of that fear. It's definitely disproportionate considering I don't really write anything too controversial, but this is the internet and you do occasionally get people just looking for problems. The funny part being that when they sprout up, I usually just laugh at them - the thought of them cropping up is worse than when they actually do. I just struggle to respect the opinions of people who spend their time being shitty to artists online, not least because they NEVER have any of their own stuff posted.

The only way I'd be able to take non-constructive criticism seriously would be if it came from a respected mutual because I'd know it was coming from a well-meaning place, but my lovely mutuals would never be non-constructive in their criticism, so the point is moot.

24. how do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?

So I write daily as a rule, and after around four months of that (which were challenging, I won't lie, back when I started in 2020), whether or not I "felt" creative stopped being a factor in that equation. The more you show up, the more your creativity does, it really is like a muscle. Some days are still better than others -- I did find this year that having other creative outlets helps a lot. I think about writing and plot decisions etc. so often while I'm crocheting, because it gets me into that same zone but without the added stress of staring at an empty word document, which can be very intimidating at times.

Reading also helps! Fic is great, ofc, but I really can't emphasise enough how good it is to read books, and cast a wide net for that reading material. Rn I'm doing three reading challenges, one that revolves around classics, another where you read a book from every single country in the world, and a third where it's all book recs from mutuals, on top of whatever I'm mood reading, and I always have at least one non-fiction book on the go, too. Some of those reads end up being absolute stinkers, but it's a necessary process.

28. your least favorite part of the writing process

Descriptions! Dialogue comes so quickly and so easily to me - so many of my drafts start out just looking like a script because I'll get all of the dialogue down and then I have to fill in the bits in the middle. I'm not great with metaphor, and I struggle to wedge in my descriptions in a way that feels natural and not shoehorned in.

When I read back old stuff, though, I don't think that struggle shows too much, which is nice.

I also hate edits, because if I spend too long doing that I'll end up not wanting to post the chapter, so I have to find a nice balance between proofreading and not giving myself a chance to freak myself out...which is how an embarrassing number of typos and mistakes slip through.

Thank you!! 💜

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