#meta: mari ibarra

[lingeringscars]

She just keeps following feeling loved. She wants to feel accepted by the group.

[waterfall-ambience]

i will not put noli me tangere and el filibusterismo in perpetua, i will not put noli me tangere and el filibusterismo in perpetua, i will not put noli me tangere and el filibusterismo in perpetua, i will not-

rambling under the cut because i need to figure out something to finish this scene:

the reason why i bring it up at all is because i want to show what a mundane conversation between damien and avery is like when there's not really much else happening in their lives.

much of their conversations in arc 1 were mundane yes but it was like 'getting to know each other (and also letting damien heal a bit after going through the horrors)'. also i will probably need another pass at arc 1 act 2 because i think things are a little messy thematically and i start juggling quite a lot.

-> anyways i wanted that mundane friendship conversation to be about a piece of media. i think literary analysis is something the two of them would talk about (because that's exactly the type of nerds they are, and you've gotta write what you know, yknow?)

there is a precedent for including real books and pieces of media in perpetua. i did it early in arc 1 with mary shelley's frankenstein, to establish perpetua as an educated community, suggest at minerva's sense of humour, and introduce ideas like the rage towards one's creator (with a parent-child / mad science twist).

> haunted hollow (the owl house, but i can't just name drop that one because it's too recent) was mostly used to establish the kind of nerd that avery is, give damien an in-universe blorbo in the form of a zuko/hunter-alike.

>> i might go back to this in arc 3 when the gods chew damien out for not living up to their expectations and compare him to his own blorbo.

> ponyo (which has no in-universe name as of now) was also used to bring in the general theme of "it doesn't matter what you are, i still love you" to the context of damien and avery's friendship. i just needed it to work for a scene and i think it does?

so i absolutely can use real books. the question is whether i should use noli me tangere / el filibusterismo specifically:

el noli came to mind because i'm pretty into it at the moment, and it's thematically rich enough for damien to passionately talk at length about just how hard it goes.

> i'm trying to do this to show that he hasn't just been thinking about haunted hollow for the past 8 months or so, lmao. not that its unrealistic for that to happen, i just think he wouldn't. he's more the type to have a broad knowledge of a lot of different things and then excitedly draw connections between them, rather than fixate on one thing for a long time if that makes sense.

> on a meta level i want to show infodumping and passion in a positive light (avery finds it cute, etc.) because some of my family members don't really appreciate it. i feel like a freak sometimes, i really do.

BUT ANYWAY. the implications of the books

both noli me tangere and el filibusterismo are very much rooted in their socio-historical context, that being the philippines during the late spanish colonial era, and the way it portrays society and the systems in power is unfortunately evergreen. sometimes it feels like hardly anything has changed 137 years later.

in relation to perpetua, the books show a world that the characters have never experienced, whether that be past or present. damien has filipino heritage but the disconnect is apparent (so ironically it loops back around into being a pinoy diaspora experience?). its something to consider when the gods judge him for not being 'good enough representation'.

i dont know how this is going to play out because captain luna is broadly similar to ibarra, in that they're idealistic, upper class illustrado filipinos who studied abroad and had childhood sweethearts named maria-[something], neither of whom they got with in the end. with bonus queer aspects of their stories because tbh it reads like there was Something between ibarra and elias. but anyway. i dont think luna would've read noli and i dont know how he'd feel about the parallels between him and ibarra. probably not very good!

maria-isabel was named after maria clara YES, but i read noli and fili recently so everything surrounding the luna/ibarra parallels are a coincidence.

> damien will likely pick up on these parallels and that opens up an entire can of worms!! worms that i don't know what to do with! but also its an interesting book and i want more people to read it because it fucks severely.

if you have any suggestions for works that damien can be interested in (thematic relevance to greater story ideal) i would love to hear them

[queretarotv]

NO MÁS QUERETANAS SIN LOGRAR SUS METAS: MARY IBARRA

NO MÁS QUERETANAS SIN LOGRAR SUS METAS: MARY IBARRA

“Nunca más se negará la oportunidad a una mujer que tiene hijos a seguir adelante”, enfatizó Mary Ibarra, candidata del PES a la gubernatura del estado, durante reunión con mujeres de la colonia 2 de Abril, de la capital queretana. Por lo que les anunció, que buscará que el gobierno brinde el apoyo necesario para que las queretanas cuenten con guarderías gratuitas, “tengan un lugar seguro donde…

[lingeringscars]

Mari triggers shauna because of how much like jackie she can be ❤️

[lingeringscars]

i probably have thoughts unrelated to mari (van raising their hand, nat saying when i drew the queen after almost mentioning javi, gen melissa, shauna in general) but i just keep thinking about the tentative hand raise from mari for ben being innocent that was the same exact hand raise to her saying they should to to the lake.

[lingeringscars]

until ben said he was gay, mari did not miss a beat. she had a comeback for everything. she had that DOWN. improv girlie with noooo gaydar my love

[lingeringscars]

okay. shauna obviously cannot deal with anyone or anything. but there is something to mari being the only one not treating shauna like glass. nat saying shauna is going through something. travis saying he can't grieve because of everything shauna has been through. even, to a certain extent, lottie letting shauna beat the shit out of her. they're all kinda letting shauna get away with things or letting her slide or not addressing anything....except mari.

i think it pisses shauna off more somehow. she can't do pity, she can't do grace, she can't do any of the celebration shit. but mari treating her like the person she is? fuck her. fuck mari. mari seeing shauna is being an asshole and reacting to that. mari treating shauna like a person. shauna resenting her for it because of how much she has been through shouldn't mari feel bad. shauna not wanting that at all.

[lingeringscars]

okay i have been thinking about this pretty nonstop, and I think I was right about mari's disillusionment with the wilderness. I really should rewatch; there were so many good things about mari and i'm sooo excited for her this season, but since i do not have the time or ability, we're gonna get my word vomit about what I remember from watching at 3am with a headache.

gen took over hunting. while it is fine that we see a new character doing this, it does make me think because after nat and travis, it was mari. i always said mari would step up. a core part of mari has always been wanting to be trusted and handed stuff to do, wanting to prove herself, wanting to be right there in it to help and feeling :') when she is trusted.

so mari did not step up to do this. in ep 1 we see her lounging around. she isn't making the soup. she isn't helping out. she's kinda just sitting there picking at things. she's not giving her all towards being helpful and useful, like she has always done.

where she once hung on every word lottie said, she's disconnected completely. she isn't a focus during van's speech. she isn't heart eyeing everyone. she's kinda digging in and needling. she runs away, instead of trying to prove her worth. she gets trapped in the pit, and she shies away from doing what she needs to to survive until she is really pushed into it by ben.

she begs and cries and screams instead of taking it into her own hands. and i don't think she's totally trying to manipulate him, either. i think it's the first time she's actually able to say some of this without the girls tearing her apart for it. she's justified it to herself: we didn't kill javi. they let him die. they didn't kill him. but it is also interesting in this context of her fooling shauna in the opening scene and being able to tap into that, making it look like she is something when she isn't. mari has never been the best at reading situations, but i think she is learning to adapt.

in a lot of ways, she's kinda checked out. where she was all in because it gave her comfort and security, she realized that nothing was safe and this isn't going anywhere. she's disappeared from the wilderness chose / the wilderness guides etc.

at the end of the day, what mari wants is to be heard. she ran because no one was hearing her side, no one was listening, and she can't handle being in a place where she feels like she's begging to be heard and seen. and now, she isn't forcing herself into a place where she will be. she sees the wilderness for what it is, instead of the idealized version van is spouting or lottie made her believe.

[lingeringscars]

Yj chars in t100 a self-indulgent post bc I am probably the only one who cares but I had thoughts I need to get down bc it's scratching my brain and I need to focus on hw:

Already touched on mari who I still think has gotta stay in sanctum bc she'd be so big into the primes

But if mari is not in sanctum, probably alpha station and after coming to the ground and facing near death, finds comfort in earthborn traditions and practices

Van and nat are both factory

Shauna is farm station

What we know about their backstories largely remains the same

Nat hangs around farm station a lot. Would be friends with monty and jasper.

Nat is one of the 100

I don't think...idk I'll probably workshop this but I think nat + her dad's altercation is probably less violent? As in I don't think it'd be the shotgun but him falling and hitting his head that kills him

She's still good with a gun and quickly becomes one of the hunters. I don't think she really wants to be a gunner.

Van is not one of the 100 and while it's important to me that Mel is the sole survivor of factory station when Bellamy finn Murphy sterling and Monroe arrive, i think it parallels the plane well to say everyone presumed van died with the rest but Surprise Bitch

In other words, van is found near the factory station crash alive and it's a big shock to everyone

Shauna ends up with farm station and while people are being picked off and taken, she steps up to learn how to use a knife on earth and help with food preparations and later with fighting against azgeda

Shauna was the best in earth skills class but no one knew it

Van nearly dies in an animal attack and later is supposed to die in praimfaya because not on the list but does not

By the time sanctum arrives, van is like yeah Bill Cadogan I am with you because seeking a reason for why they keep surviving when people around them aren't and there have been no shortages of near death experiences. There needs to be a Reason for this

[lingeringscars]

Gen and mari were both sent to the same dance camp when they were growing up. Both of then would roll their eyes when asked to do interpretive dance, hated the ballet portion, and excelled with hip hop. Gen was also good at tap dancing and mari was good with jazz. They would sneak out whenever possible to come up with their own dances or just to hang out away from all the other people at the camp.

[lingeringscars]

i actually find it really interesting that the girls were seniors and yet allie, a freshman, was the only one we are shown was upset about missing prom. this was their senior year, their last chance, but they were all just so excited that they got to go to nationals, they got to be the team to make history. they were going to have a lasting impact beyond prom and that small town.

[lingeringscars]

There's this kind of comfortable intimacy between mari and van that makes me soooo <3333 van the only one to call her mar, mari enjoying being around van, van giving mari a task, mari following vans lead. Mari in general is in this interesting place where she's not as far removed from the other varsity players as gen and Melissa and crystal are but she's not van tai shauna nat jackie either. She's in the middle place between being seen and part of the group (and desperately wanting to be) and on the fringes, and van is very good at making her feel included

[lingeringscars]

I do think that it is interesting to think about mari being connected to the wilderness in some way / other supernatural forces in other verses, but i also think it's important to remember that she is paranoid and SCARED.

mari is grasping at straws to make herself feel better, and that makes her leap to extremes. mari is actually very logical; she understands that volunteering for the expedition could lead to her death, but it is something they can do to maybe save them and there are no other options. mari is smart. she connects pieces that others would never think to connect.

but she is scared. so she is also throwing darts at the wall to see what sticks. lottie doesn't need a gun because lottie killed a bear with a knife and brought birds down onto their cabin. crystal goes missing, and she doesn't trust misty, so she jumps to misty did something to her. we know that she is right, but everyone else doubting mari makes sense, too. she immediately assumes that javi must have been the one taking the bear meat because it is the only logical solution for how he might have survived that long.

mari is trying to make herself feel better through logic and broad accusations that may or may not be true. she has connected pieces and dots that others won't think is enough. she can take little shreds of information and make sense of it, which is why she usually is correct even without divine senses or hard proof. but most importantly, she is scared and is trying to make sense of the world that they now inhabit.

[lingeringscars]

I find myself comparing mari and van a lot re lottie, and I don't anticipate that changing any time soon. There is genuine affection between mari and lottie (from Mari's side, at least) even when she is placing lottie on a pedestal and thinking she can walk on water, she truly cares about lottie. The problem is that it is so wrapped up in everything lottie can do for them that this doesn't always come across. Mari is scared for lottie when she is out there alone in 2x04 even though she has to believe that lottie is capable and can do this and WILL bring them food. When it looks like lottie might die, she's not able to process that. She can't think about what might happen to lottie and this is so telling because mari is always the one putting things that scare her into words. But she tells everyone to stop thinking about what it would be like to lose lottie because she can't think about it!

And when lottie comes down from the attic and is ~okay, she's so relieved (they all are), and immediately rushes to hug her because she's glad LOTTIE is okay. She's turned lottie into this mythical creature, but she genuinely cares about her wellbeing.

Van, on the other hand, is more grounded. She's more focused on what lottie practically brings, and that includes hope, purpose, peace. Van experienced something, and so they believe that lottie might be tapping into something out there. Mari saw the visions coming true, but Van specifically tapped into something in the dream world. It's part of their fundamental difference, too. Mari has obviously experienced things, but it's easier to hail lottie when she hasn't been in that dream world like Van had.

Van needed a reason, a purpose, and lottie provided that. Lottie gave hope. Lottie kept them alive. But van never lost sight of the fact that lottie was still a person, just a person capable of more than maybe the rest of them are. Lottie is not a God, but lottie taps into something they don't quite understand.

And I think that's why it's easier for van to see Lottie in 2x09. Van rushes to hug lottie just like mari does, but they stop. They see how haggard lottie is. They see that lottie did Not want this to happen. They see how horrified she is that it did. Van is in a place where they see this is what it has come to and is where they are, but that little bit also shows that hesitancy. Van crossed a line that maybe they did not have to because misty framed what lottie said in a way that led them here.

Lottie did not actually condone this, and van was the person who really put it together, partly in lotties name to protect her. All this to say, while lottie is someone van believes in, lottie is still a person to van in a way she isn't to mari. Lottie is larger than life to mari, even if she does have genuine care for lottie that goes beyond what lottie provides for them.

[lingeringscars]

going to have to rewatch at some point but it's the way mari is constantly looking to akilah. she is loud. she is the one standing up and speaking things. she is the one voicing all these beliefs. she is taking up so much space, but she ALWAYS looks to akilah. for comfort, for trust, for faith, to see where she stands, etc. literally the definition of someone makes a joke and i look to see if you're laughing.

and when something has been bothering her and no one else believes her, it's akilah she goes to. and mari isn't afraid to feel....everything. she's very present. she says what's on her mind. but the way she gets so soft and vulnerable when she asks for akilah to help her because she's hearing this noise and it's bothering her and she needs to figure it out. how akilah is still looking to the future and mari is in the right now. how she doesn't dismiss her after akilah says she still needs to take it when they get out ( how i think she believes lottie is going to get them out ) and is just like okay i understand but i really need you right now.

[lingeringscars]

phrases that get tossed around by the yjs:

brainstorm

news flash

because i'm not the fucking worst