#meta tag tbd.

[gulava]

its interesting to me that the person who faces similar depreciation from others to sora...is demyx. sora himself calls demyx a wimp in kh2. but then xigbar calls sora a wimp in 3d. larxene refers to sora as a toy and "it" in com. larxene refers to demyx as a "thing" in kh3.

although the two ARE different in that demyx may never be taken seriously but he uses that to his advantage. and if it turns out hes mom, theres a layer of deceit in all of his actions. he allows people to look down on him bc it allows him to hide in plain sight.

however, this doesnt mean it wouldnt hurt.

[metamorphiacreations]

this picture has made me sob uncontrollably/srs

i could list forever about all this things going on but you gotta see for yourself

[ruby-red-inky-blue]

a couple of years back i was pretty vocal about not getting when people complained about their art not getting "enough" notes. but i'm getting to recognise a sub-category of that frustration these days that, in fairness, was maybe what people were talking about all along? but i've also seen other posts mention how fandom spaces feel changed since the last few years, so maybe it's a new thing or at least a thing that hadn't reached my fandom corner until now.

i truly don't mind if my writing doesn't garner a lot of attention (although i say this from a place of priviledge where my writing has so far always garnered some attention, and often a lot more than i anticipated). but what is really starting to grate a little is the amount of attention vs. the amount of reaction. For example, before the latest update on my big multichapter fic, it sat at ~ 33,050 hits. since then the fic has been clicked 400 times. the kudos count went up by maybe three and there were three new bookmarks - this isn't super surprising because i don't expect to be reaching a lot of new people with an unfinished 100+k word fic in a dwindling fandom, and if they're return readers they can't leave new kudos. but five people have commented on the fic since the update. One percent of readers who have clicked on this fic have reacted. Did all these people see it on the recently updated feed, started to read it, didn't vibe with it and moved on? That honestly wouldn't bother me. But it's been steadily gaining attention for the last few weeks, long after it moved off the first page of the recently updated view for the fandom. so rather, I think it's mostly subscribed users (the fic has a little over 400 active subscriptions so that would make sense) or people actively checking back on the fic. in which case they must be at least somewhat invested in it.

and again, i'm not owed any feedback. i put my work out for free and people decide what to do with that. but fandom is a collaborative space, and it's been feeling like less that for a while. people seem less ready for conversation, and i think that's sad, and quite demoralising for creatives (at least for me personally). fandom work isn't meant as bingeable content that you consume and then leave. if you do that on netflix, that's fine, because you're paying the platform and they're at least supposed to recompense the creatives who made the show you just watched. fandom artists don't get that. we make things for the love of it, and because we wanted to share that love. it doesn't feel like sharing though when you put something out there and nothing comes back. it feels like standing in an empty warehouse telling my stories to nobody. and, again, i'm personally lucky enough that it's not like that all the time, but i get why people stop doing it. and i get that engaging with art as an audience member doesn't come easy to everyone, but fandom culture needs it. it's supposed to be an exchange. it's supposed to go both ways, and i think if you want to sustain the culture, you simply need to try and give something back, whatever that is.

because putting something you made out there and nobody looks at it is definitely not a great feeling, but having anonymous masses file by and look at your thing and then meet you with deafening silence feels... worse.

[mysterycitrus]

why do people keep asking me the same questions? i think to myself, as if my blog isnt organised like a china shop after an earthquake and i have a tagging system that doesn’t exist

[hemerasiae]

rook seeing the consequences of their choice in d'meta’s crossing is so fucking good.

crescentia as a lawful good rook having to face the death and destruction she's wrought from stopping the ritual. you try so hard. you want to do good. you want to save every person you come across. look at what you've done: an entire village gone, the world torn open, gods playing dolls with mortal-kind.

wanting to look away, wanting to vomit, but she won't look away. you did this. doing good - what you thought was good and just - has sentenced this village to death.

[sovereignofarendelle]

Of course—her sister would have been up for hours at this point. Elsa, for some strange reason, enjoyed mornings. She said they made her feel fresh as new snow, while they made Anna feel as fresh as chicken droppings.

                                                           —Forest of Shadows: Chapter 6    

Posting this for @soughtserenity because we know Kristoff is only reason she wakes up on time.

[corpserites]

be tee dubs, going to start working on a sideblog dedicated to in-depth lore/backstories, character studies and meta over at @deathratt1es for the bitches who give a fuck. updated my pinned with a link there, too.

[kaaras-adaar]

// Every few months I like to remind everyone that Kaaras suffers from OCD, and although he does cope with it generally well no thanks to his mother being very on top of it from a young age, he does still experience many intrusive thoughts, and bad days can be extremely bad. 

[duodusk]

lol

[mcmorare]

a common thread for katrina in all her verses is that she simply didn't expect to live that long. in her main and tl verses, she expected to get herself killed somehow as an angry self destructive teenager. in her wwd.its verse, she expected to die of disease or be accused of witchcraft. in her modern gods verse, she expected to fade away once people stopped worshipping her. and because of this, she has never planned for what to do with her life. she has always operated in survival mode, and when she doesn't have anything to push back against anymore, she doesn't know how to handle it. it's why in her main verse and her ofm.d verse, she'll probably stay in her line of work until she gets herself killed somehow. why in her tl verse she'll have a breakdown when she has to retire. why in her w.wdits and baduhenna verses she's so bitter and aimless. she expected to spend a short life fighting. she doesn't know how to adjust to the fact that that might not be the case.

[gulava]

he shows up in the same world that riku shows up in like hes keeping personal tabs on him (he doesnt even challenge sora to a fight) and then shows up as one of the opponents deeply connected to riku at the kg...jeez guys i think he may have been lying /joking

[kitchensunflowers]

Disability Resonance & Crip Time in "Saturdays" by Louis Tomlinson

A reading of "Saturdays" that highlights parallels with certain disability theory concepts that I was thinking about while listening. (Specifically, parallels between its lyrics and the essay, "Six Ways of Looking at Crip Time", by Ellen Samuels.)

Basically, I was listening to Saturdays the other day and was suddenly overwhelmed (as in... I cried) by the way the lyrics mapped on to different experiences I've had as a chronically ill/disabled person. In particular, I've recently been struggling with increases in certain symptoms and internalised ableism, and the song really spoke to these feelings.

One of my favourite disability theory essays is Ellen Samuels' "Six Ways of Looking at Crip Time", linked here and first published in Vol. 37 No. 3 (2017) of Disability Studies Quarterly (available to read in full on dsq-sds.org, the journal's website).

Samuels both articulates different aspects of the experiences + feelings I was thinking about and describes the concept of 'crip time' better than I could, so I thought I'd share those parallels here, for my own interest and in case any one else might be interested, too. (And for anyone interested, I really recommend reading Samuels' full essay!)

Disclaimer: In pointing out these parallels, I am not claiming that this is therefore a song written to be read as being about disability. That is not my intention here - I am just making note of the resonances I personally felt while listening.

Anyway tldr, here are the parallels I was thinking about - Louis' lyrics italicised and excerpts from Samuels' essay indented:

Saturdays by Louis Tomlinson

Six Ways of Looking at Crip Time by Ellen Samuels

*

I'm not supposed to be Feelin' dirty cheap on Silver Street At quarter to three

"Crip time is time travel. Disability and illness have the power to extract us from linear, progressive time with its normative life stages and cast us into a wormhole of backward and forward acceleration, jerky stops and starts, tedious intervals and abrupt endings. Some of us contend with the impairments of old age while still young; some of us are treated like children no matter how old we get." (Samuels 2017)

Hidden across my face In the crowd, I'm countin' up the days In a haze

"The medical language of illness tries to reimpose the linear, speaking in terms of the chronic, the progressive, and the terminal, of relapses and stages. But we who occupy the bodies of crip time know that we are never linear, and we rage silently—or not so silently—at the calm straightforwardness of those who live in the sheltered space of normative time." (Samuels 2017)

I'm gazin' at the floor Somebody's got your trainers on The ones that you wore When you walked out the door

"Crip time is grief time. It is a time of loss," (Samuels 2017)

I've been wonderin' about what you're up to Not for the first time Not for the last time

"With each new symptom, each new impairment, I grieve again for the lost time, the lost years that are now not yet to come. This is not to say that I wish for a cure—not exactly. "I wish to be both myself and not-myself, a state of paradoxical longing that I think every person with chronic pain occupies at some point or another. I wish for time to split and allow two paths for my life and that I could move back and forth between them at will." (Samuels 2017)

And I've been thinking 'bout the things we used to do Not for the first time And not for the last time

Ibid. (Samuels 2017)

We always used to say "Saturdays take the pain away" Nobody stays the same

"I was practicing tai chi every day, learning how to move slowly and gracefully through the world, as part of a group all making the same movements, synchronized, flowing. I felt more at home in my body, with other people's bodies, than I ever had. Then it all came apart." (Samuels 2017)

No matter how much you want it Some things change

"It happened in a flash, and it also lasted forever. It took me six long months in physical therapy to get back to where I could walk more than a few steps, and I was never again able to walk as far as I had before. Tai chi, which I loved deeply and which was supposed to fix me, broke me instead." (Samuels 2017)

Some things change

Through my cigarette A shadow of you sticks me to the carpet Try to ignore it

"The bodymind refuses to let go of the lost object [...] I have found much harder to let go [of] the memory of my healthier self. [...] "For crip time is broken time. It requires us to break in our bodies and minds to new rhythms, new patterns of thinking and feeling and moving through the world. It forces us to take breaks, even when we don't want to, even when we want to keep going, to move ahead. It insists that we listen to our bodyminds so closely, so attentively, in a culture that tells us to divide the two and push the body away from us while also pushing it beyond its limits." (Samuels 2017)

Somethin' about the way The light catches the mirror in my brain It gives me shade

"[...] other times, when we talk about crip time, we mean something more beautiful and forgiving. [...] My friend Alison Kafer says that "rather than bend disabled bodies and minds to meet the clock, crip time bends the clock to meet disabled bodies and minds."" (Samuels 2017)

I'm starin' at the door Somebody's got your trainers on The ones that you wore But you're not here anymore

"And so, I moved backward instead of forward, not into a state of health, but further into the world of disability, the world I was now coming to understand as my own. I moved from being someone who kept getting sick, over and over, to someone who was sick, all the time, whose inner clock was attuned to my own physical state rather than the external routines of a society ordered around bodies that were not like mine." (Samuels 2017)

[...]

My heart might be broken But I won't be broken down My heart might be broken But I won't be broken down

"This sounds very much like the notion of crip time that Alison and Margaret were talking about. [...] disability scholars like Alison, Margaret, and I tend to celebrate this idea of crip time, to relish its non-linear flexibility, to explore its power and its possibility. "What would it mean for us also to do what queer scholar Heather Love calls "feeling backward"? For us to hold on to that celebration, that new way of being, and yet also allow ourselves to feel the pain of crip time, its melancholy, its brokenness?" (Samuels 2017)

We always used to say "Saturdays take the pain away" Nobody stays the same No matter how much you want it How much you want it We always used to say "Saturdays take the pain away" Nobody stays the same No matter how much you want it Some things change

[keybladeboy]

   [ @𝐊𝐄𝐘𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐁𝐎𝐘 ]—:: an independent online 𝚂𝙾𝚁𝙰 ( kingdom hearts ) by garo ( 23, they/them ).     ̗̀➛ mun && muse && mythos && music && moodboard

hey! i'm sora 😊 i'm 18, i'm a little guy, and i'm stuck in a city that might be purgatory. i'm looking for my friends... but i can always make new ones too! :)

[chevalear]

Is there something that happened in the ancient past your muse wishes they could have changed?

ancient pokemon history q's

oh yeah, thyméo would've loved to stop the kalos civil war, but that's ... unrealistic. he might be grandmaster of the knights, but that doesn't mean he Likes going to war or something. his job is to protect those who can't protect themselves and all.

he does his best to just educate the younger knights and the trainers he meets about what happened so maybe it won't happen again. hopefully.

he doesn't really know what to say about the more modern things, but at least he wishes thibaud wasn't so hurt. it's tragic seeing a person with initially noble intent just sorta snap and become whatever thibaud became. (like the berserker lancelot in fate zero ...)

[futurefind]

// protip i rlly gotta remember to go back and reread my own posts/etc abt my blorbos. free enrichment... 🥺🥺🥺

[sovereignofarendelle]

Soon the townspeople would come to buy fresh seafood to smoke, pickle, and preserve. Anna liked smoked herring, but she couldn't say the same about pickled herring. It was Elsa who liked things pickled.

----Anna Takes Charge, Ch. 1

I love that Anna loves smoked fish because it goes so well with all my headcanons about her being an outdoorsy girl who likes hiking, climbing, camping, and fishing as much as she likes dresses, makeup, and being cozy indoors.