#meta do be kicking my ass right now! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

igotanidea · 1 year ago

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Shower: J.T x fem!reader

Request: from the prompt list: "for sparring to turn into sex "+ "I told you to be quiet" + "they're gonna catch us" with Jason.

@parkjammys I'm sorry in advance, I know this is probably not what you had in mind, but I just couldn;t fight the urge to play and twist those prompts a bit.

Warnings: SMUT MINORS DNI!

A/N: It's written in the Ego!verse and can be read as a next part to Growing up

***

„You got rusty” Jason smirked, while looking at Y/N’s workout simulation

„Well, I’ve been in a cast for almost two months thanks to your older brother.” She scoffed brushing hair off her forehead. As if she didn’t know it took a heavy toll on her physique. She was panting after a beginner level program and absolutely hated it. It was like a cheek.

“It was NOT my fault!” Dick objected overhearing the conversation

“That’s just some poor explanation, Y/N” Todd mocked, making her clench her fists. “And you are not going to get back to shape and get cleared for the field if you keep it so easy.”

“Why don’t you cut your girl some slack, Todd? Even if she’s not capable of kicking your ass she can always go full meta on you.“ Tim muttered from the corner, too busy to look their direction while punching a dummy, but still not dropping the opportunity to torment his older brother.

“Oh, I am fully capable of kicking his ass.” Y/N panted “Right here, right now.”

“Is that a dare?” Jason lifted the corner of his mouth, his eyes glistening predator-like, eyeing her like a prey.

“Are you chickening out?” she pouted and tilted her head “scared of a girl, Red Hood?”

“Aren’t you scared of getting humiliated in front of the whole family?” he retorted taking a step forward her

“Do you want me to go full Ego on you?” he mimicked his movement and at the moment they were just standing in front of each other, inches away, their bodies almost touching while the other members of the family stopped their own workouts and focused on watching.

“Wouldn’t you like that, princess.” He whispered leaning over her, his hot breath on her face “I got some many thoughts in my head….”

“Do you two need a room?” Dick’s voice chimed in and brought them both back to reality. It’s been a moment since they were intimate (once again, the stupid cast!) and all they needed was a spark to forget all the surroundings and get lost in each other. But the audience was definitely not needed and upon Grayson’s words they practically recoiled from each other.

“Yeah.” Jason scratched his neck awkwardly “give me a room to pin her down.”

“Wouldn’t you like that” she laughed and it made him blush a bit. Shit. He would like that, but not with his sibling around.

“If you’re so smart and bold why don’t you go at me without using your little mind games?” he hissed clenching his fist. Fuck, he wanted her and if he didn’t start blowing the steam off that very second it would start to show.

“Promise not to go easy on me, Todd?” she spun around taking a stance on the fighting mat, facing him with that arcane look. He nodded, swallowing hard. “Then it’s a deal.”

“Wait!” Stephanie yelled “I’m opening the bets! 10 bucks on Y/N!”

“10 bucks?!” Y/N scoffed “so little faith in me, Steph! That’s pretty offending!”

“That’s all I have, y/n/n/, don’t let me down.” The blonde blew a kiss her friends direction and grinned.

“Ready you two?” Grayson rubbed his hand acting like a judge on the ring “set. Go!”

Neither Jason nor Y/N moved in the slightest. They knew each other too well to take any sudden action, instead focusing on eyeing each other, calculating every gesture. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity she took tiniest step forward and the real fight burst out.

Y/N took a slide and before Jason with his tank build realized what was happening she was behind him, punching his shoulder blades and making him fall forward a bit, but still not enough to cause him to fully loose the balance.

“Backstabbing, princess?” he smirked turning to face her and throwing a punch which she blocked easily, grabbing his arm and twisting it, causing him to groan.

“Go Y/N!” Steph yelled happily and that sudden exclaim distracted her giving Jason opportunity to put his other arm around her waist and lift her in the air.

“Let go off me!” she yelled, kicking her feet desperately, hoping to reach his knee or calf, which she knew were more sensitive and prone to injury than any other part of his body, but failed at that, instead ending up being held like a unruly kid, arms pinned to her sides. “Damn it!”

“Giving up already?”

“You wish!” Y/N was quick to come up with contingencies and not only because Steph was now literally biting her nails watching the scene unravelling in front of her eyes. Since it was impossible to use her hands, Y/N swung her legs in the way Dick taught her and not without effort wrapped them around Jason’s neck ending up on his shoulders, strangling him, cutting the air supply, waiting for the familiar patting on her thigh – sign of surrender.

“Aren’t you a bit too cocky, Ego?” he hissed, trying to throw her from his back, squeezing the ankle of her freshly healed leg making her yelp in pain and loosen the grip.

A mistake which made her end up on the floor, almost losing the battle.

“That hurt you bastard!” she cried out, real tears showing in her eyes.

“I’m not falling for that love” he went forth and in a blink of an eye pressed her to the wall. Their chest touching, moving up and down frantically due to the heavy breath. Was it just because of the fighting?”

“Jason….” she whined, trying to push him away.

“Don’t play dirty.” He whispered into her ear

“ME?” she faked innocence “you are clearly the one happy to have me so close, don’t you, baby?” AUCH!” the girl screamed when he pushed her even more into the wall, his eyes absolutely dark “your family is watching….”

Fuck.

He let go for just a second and it was enough for her to use that against him. In the end he was the one who ended up on the mattress, on his back with Y/N straddling his hips and hands on his chest pinning him down and …. Well…. Feeling something there.

“You think you won?”

“I…” she didn’t get to finish the sentence when he flipped her over, hovering over, his bodyweight not letting her to get up. “Fuck….” She muttered

“You?” Jason muttered, pressing his body closer to her, whispering in her ear, making her hot and needy and all red. “I can do that….”

“Could you please stop?” Damian muttered, rolling his eyes “why is it so hard to stay professional? It’s just freaking disgusting.”

“So, seems like I won.” Todd grinned, getting up, too proud of himself about making Y/N a flustered mess on the floor.

“I hate you, Todd.” She brushed off his hand which he offered to help her up. “You almost broke my leg again!”

“You know I would never do that. Not to you, Y/N. But Riddler’s goons wouldn’t have any seconds thoughts. You need to be ready for that. “ she turned away from him, angry “Hey.” He put a hand on her shoulder and spun her around “don’t be mad at me, baby….. You know I can’t handle that.”

“Y/N!” Cass called from behind. She was the one who was watching the scene most carefully from all the siblings. Therefore she noticed the slight limp and bruising on Y/N’s ankle and had to make sure her friend was good to go “Leg?”

“I’m fine, Cass.” She sighed deeply “Sorry for making you lose the bet, Steph. Great job, Jason, congratulations, I guess.” She raised on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek briefly.

Probably last thing he needed, since instead of making him calm down the fight with her, feeling her body underneath him while pinning her down did exactly the opposite. And the feeling of her soft lips on his face only fueled him more. He needed her. He wanted her. It’s been too long since he had her.

“You did well, Y/N” Dick patted her shoulder as he walked past him “I think we all had enough for today. Let’s just hit the showers.”

“Sure….”

Y/N moved towards the bathroom, adjacent to the training room. She knew Jason never meant to hurt her, but once he got into his Red Hood mode, he was oblivious to his own strength. And while fighting she was his opponent, not his girlfriend. And she wanted him to not go easy on her.

But still, it was painful and single unwanted tear flew down her cheek.

She wiped it off, angrily and slowly started taking off her sweaty workout clothes. But before any of them could actually hit the floor, she felt hands wrapping around her from behind and let out a gasp struggling against the grip.

“Sh!” one palm covered her mouth silencing her in an instance “it’s me, baby. It’s just me.”

“Jace!” she whispered-yelled turning around to face him “what the hell are you…..?” she cut off, her eyes widening and wandering all over him. He was naked. Absolutely naked. And absolutely horny. Ready for action and the sight of him being so hard for her made her let out a moan.

“see anything you like?” he smirked so full of himself.

“Jace….” She whined, wrapping arms around his neck immediately pulling him to a kiss, pressing herself close to him.

Of course, she wanted and needed him too. Maybe even more than he needed her.

“Fuck, I missed you.” he gasped, hands wondering all over her curves, not able to satiate of the feeling of her so close, being so vulnerable in his embrace, so submissive to his every action and movement "I missed you so bad, baby.” Those calloused palms dived under the hem of her sport bra, painfully slowly lifting it up, forcing her to put her arms up and let go of him for a moment. Too long moment for her liking as the second that piece of material was gone she clung to him like a magnet.

“Mmmm.” She whined, feeling his lips on her neck, nibbling softly on the sensitive skin and massaging her breasts, pinching slightly on the pebbled nipples.

“You gotta keep quiet baby.” He smirked, now playing with the hem of her panties, caressing so close to where she needed him “Thin walls. Do you want everyone to hear you?”

“Hmmm.” She muttered mockingly taking a step back entering into the shower cabin, getting rid of her panties herself, completely exposed and motioning for him to follow “Hear us, baby. You’re not exactly the quiet type either. Come get me….” The girl whispered turning the water on, the broad stream dampening her whole body and hair.

She was never hotter.

Those lust-blown eyes, slightly reddened cheeks, plump and kiss-swollen lips …. Her body was practically screaming to him, so ready for more. She was looking at him with that sexy, lustful, seductive expression. All for his taking. With one stride he was next to her, pressing her whole body to his. Closer, closer, closer. And yet still not close enough. Her soft and silky skin, her every curve, all for him and he was not going to oppose to that gift in front of him. Passion and love consumed them both, hot water and the fogged bathroom creating the steamy atmosphere only added to those feelings an fueled them.

“Baby…. Don’t stop, please, fuck, don’t stop” her hands found a way to his hair, tangling in the soft strands and pulling gently, pressing his head and mouth to her skin. “I want more.”

“Did I hurt you?” he suddenly pulled back looking into her eyes “is your leg all right?”

“It hurts….” She whined, pouting and reciprocating his gaze with the saddest, softest expression almost begging him to take care of her. In a very specific way.

“How can I make it better?” he whispered, heavily, resuming nibbling on her neck, causing another whine to slip past her lips.

“Just keep doing what you’re doing…. be … be soft with me today.” She begged “be gentle, baby…. It’s been so long, I forgot how you feel.”

“I’ll remind you. “

“How will you remind me?” she gasped when he bit on her collarbone, hickey already forming, her core throbbing and feeling so neglected, aching.

“I’ll kiss every part of your perfect body. I’ll make you feel so good baby. I’ll get you high. Let me.”

“Take me, Jace” she moaned clawing on his broad back, his muscles tensing and flexing due to her ministration “now. Please, baby, please, I need you. I need you so bad.” she almost cried, all the sensations overwhelming her.

“Are you sure? Like you said, it’s been a while. Can you really take it?”

“Yes, yes please…. please Jason, please, please.” Tears started falling down her cheeks, masked by the streams of water on her face and he was quick to kiss all that pain away, lips brushing over her jaw and neck, nose rubbing nose before he captured her lips again. She wanted him to be gentle and he was going to comply. Just showing her all the love he had, without words, purely by action.

“I missed this.” he whispered tracing a pattern up her inner thigh, causing her to spread her legs slightly “I missed being with you like this. Away from everyone, just us.”

“Mhmmm.” She shuddered when his fingers found their destination “Just us, baby. You and me. I’m all yours.”

“And I’m yours. Tell me how to please you princess. Tell me what you need. Tell me how you need. I want to know all your little fantasies.”

“No fantasies. Not today.” She shook her head “Not here. I want it simple. Just lift me and don’t let me slip.”

“I won’t” he promised quickly catching up what, how and where she needed, grabbing backs of her thighs and wrapping them around his waist, pressing her into the wall for support, one hand on her back, the other in her hair, massaging gently, tilting her head to get access to more of her skin.

“IT’S COLD!”she let out an involuntary scream taking them both by surprise.

“SH!!” he silenced her again “I told you to be quiet! They are gonna catch us!”

“Do you really think they haven’t realized you sneaked in here the second the training session was over? Please….” She rolled eyes “besides, do you really care? Come on, you have me in the palm of your hand, baby.” She wrapped her arms tighter around him, moving slightly up and down to create any friction and make him take some action. Much to her delight it got her a groan from the back of his throat and she shuddered at that sound “I’m quite the catch, don’t you think? And you can do what you wish with that” her seductive whisper In his ear seemed to finally spur him on.

“The best.” He responded pushing in. Fighting the urge to just go all in with one thrust, but remembering what she asked him for. And instantly getting the reminder when she writhed with some discomfort, nails digging into his back. He loved that sweet pain, but was still mindful that it indicated that she was pushing past her limits.

“I won’t hurt you.” He whispered, rubbing her back reassuringly, trying to help her relax.

“I know…” she hissed feeling him push another couple inches in “I told you, it’s been….. a moment since we ….. and …. Mmmm.” The slightest frown appeared on her face and her mouth hung open for a while whilst her body started getting a memo of how good it was to have Jason inside her. How perfectly aligned they were. “Jace…..” she gasped out, already wanting and needing more.

“I can stop if you want.”

“Don’t lie to me, Jason. We both know you can’t stop at this point. And I can take it. I promise, I can take it. I want you whole. In me. Now.” she arched her back, trying to take in more of his shaft .

“You have me. I….” he hesitated. Words were still hard, but he felt the urge to say them. To assure her, that what he felt was true and that he cared for her. “I love you baby. So fucking much.” His lips found hers once more and he bottomed out with one more push swallowing her scream as her pussy fluttered around his digits so deliciously. She was right, he didn’t really care about his family overhearing them going at it, damn, he was fucking proud and bragging about being the one to make her feel good enough to scream (suck that, Grayson). But that little sucker knew that forcing her to keep her mouth shut would result in her clawing on his back again. And he wanted that. She was all his. Her body, her mind, her soul, her screams and moans, her actions.

Everything.

Jason Todd was one selfish and possessive bastard.

But still caring.

“Jace…” she panted when he finally let her lips go, allowing her to take a breath. Not that she was capable of breathing while having him like this.

“You’re good? Can I…..?”

“Just…. Just a second….” She wriggled her hips, adjusting to the stretch, causing him to groan.

“If you keep doing that I’m going to lose it.” He warned, squeezing her butt cheek.

“Oh, I am being tormented here. Forced, used, attacked from behind, abused.” She mocked tearily “poor little me.”

“Forced, baby? Abused? I can’t really see you opposing very actively.”

“Just move you little shit.” She laughed lightly, patting on his shoulder, urging him to start thrusting. And he did. Slowly, carefully. It was easy to get lost in her, but this time he was not going to rush that intimacy. They had all the time in the world. Eternity to worship each other. The external world might as well stop existing and explode and they would be perfectly happy just moving in that sensual, intimate pace, holding onto each other. Living in the bubble they created from their passion and love.

“I….” she whined, throwing her head back, resting it on the tiles and feeling the fire forming in her belly. At this point, her body was on fire and she didn’t care whether the wall was cold or not “I missed this too, Jason. Fuck, you feel so good.”

“I know….” he mumbled using the opportunity to kiss the exposed column of her throat moving towards her nipples, swirling his tongue around them, licking all the water droplets gathered there making her moan loudly “I’m fucking perfect for you.”

“Jace…..” she started moving against him, chasing her own high. She never knew that slow, soft loving could be so much better and more fulfilling than the rough, fast pace he usually set

“Hm?”

“Please…..”

“Please what?”

“Don’t stop loving me…. Just…. don’t …. ” shit, she was so close.

“I could never, baby. Just want to make you feel good.” He took a step forward, pressing her further into the wall and adjusting the grip on her back, making sure she would not slip.

“You are, but …. More. Please. Please, baby, please, oh, god” he didn’t pick up the pace but started moving harder on her almost making her snap “yes…yes, Jace, yes, baby.” She was no so loud there was not a chance those sounds didn’t echo through the whole manor. Most probably reaching not only the youngest but Alfred and Bruce as well.

Oh, well, that’s really (not) a shame.

“I thought I told you to be quiet, princess?”

“Fuck! Fuck! I don’t care! AH! Jason! Jace, baby, yes! Yes! Fuck! Please! God, baby, don’t …. So close…. Mmmm…”

“You’re gonna come for me, baby? Right now? Can you be a good girl and cum on my cock?”

“JA…..” he didn’t give her even the slightest chance to scream his whole name, pressing his mouth on her swallowing the other part of it, feeling her body shudder and shake in his arms.

She was so fragile, so vulnerable, so sensitive and so overstimulated that even when he himself came, she was still clinging onto him. Not wanting to let go. Wanting him to stay, to hold her like that, to shower (pun intended) her with aftercare, attention, affection. She just needed him close. Not in a physical way, but emotional. And if he were to pull out and get out of this freaking bathroom, out in the world, forced to face it, she would lose that part of him. She wasn’t ready to let go of her emotional Jason. Not yet.

“Stay.” She begged looking straight into his eyes. “Please, stay.”

“Baby….” He kissed her forehead, slowly dropping her to her feet, hands secured on her waist, making sure her shaky legs wouldn’t give up on her, holding her close.

“I don’t want to go there….”

“Now you scared they heard?”

“It’s not that… I…. I need you.Not the one you are with your siblings. The you¸ you are only for me” she brushed her lips over his slowly, gently “please…”

“I know. And I’m not leaving you. How could I?” he pecked her lips “but we can’t stay here forever.”

“Why?” she whined, hiding face in his chest and massaging his back “It’s nice and warm and spacious….”

“Don’t you think someone will take interest in why the water in this particular shower keeps running for hours non-stop?”

“hours, huh?” she smirked, licking her lips. She was so damn ready for round two.

“I bet it would be Alfred. Do you really want that?”

“No.” she looked down, suddenly ashamed by the thought of the family butler being a witness to their workout and forcing them out alongside with making them clean the bathroom of everything they may leave behind.

Jason kissed her temple briefly and reached behind him to grab a towel and wrap her in it, slowly helping her dry herself, smile never leaving his lips. She was looking so tiny and adorable like this. In her post-coital bliss. He wanted to remember that relaxed, peaceful look on her beautiful face.

Only when they both were dressed properly and somewhat presentable they dared to take a peek through the door, making sure no one was around. As fast as lighting and as quiet as the mouses they rushed to Y/N’s room, ready for cuddling and a movie marathon, but much to their surprise they had an unwanted guest waiting for them there.

‘You are both disgusting.” Damian hissed

“And you are here cause you wanted to say it to our faces?”

“Yes. Just letting you know. Oh, and… Y/N. You should know you actually made Steph win a bet.”

“What?” she asked in confusion, brows furrowing

“There was another. Between Brown and Grayson. She bet we would hear you. Grayson had more faith in your self-control. And he’s angry about losing. Good luck talking to him about it.”

“Oh, damn it….” Y/N whined, hiding face in hands, turning red.

“What was it that you said when I told you they are going to hear?” Jason tapped his chin “oh, right, I don’t care. Well, don’t you now?”

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mlm-writer · 2 years ago

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Daddy/Dearest (Wade Wilson x M!Reader)

Pairing: Wade Wilson/Deadpool x Alien!Cis!M!Reader Rating: Mature (lowest I can go with a Deadpool fic) Words: 1048 POV: Third Summary: You matched with Deadpool on the intergalactic dating app Starcrossed. After exchanging many dick pics, you decided to visit Earth for your first date... and blow the planet up if the date sucked. Note: Inspired by the song Party Tonight by Joe Hedourix and this prompt. Tags: first date, fluff, idk who Nick Fury really is tbh, 4th wall breaks, romcom and reader’s appearance is a little vague but at some point I started imagining Megamind

“Deadpool! Open up!” Wade groaned at the insistent knocking on his door. He tried to rub his eyes, only to find out that he was still wearing his mask. A quick look down revealed he had fallen asleep on the couch in his PJs. The knocking at his door stopped, so he rested his body on the couch. He had barely closed his eyes, when the door was knocked down.

He raised his head with a groan, only to be incredibly surprised by his guest. “Wow, Nick Fury, I am not sure if I am even supposed to know who you are, because the writer has seen exactly one movie in which you had a cat, but he supposes you’re an important dude or whatever.”

“Shut it, motherfucker,” the man wearing a black trenchcoat barked back at Wade. He clearly took note of the dirty white shirt with a butt on it and the blue chequered underwear Wade was wearing, but he did not comment on it. “Do you know the app Starcrossed?”

Wade laughed, not reading the room that had been filled with armoured men and women because we are inclusive here and women can and will kick your ass if provoked.

“That app with all the metas on it? Why? Did we match? I’m sorry if I did not reply, but you’re not really my type and you must have been an accidental swipe.”

“Stop yapping! Does this guy look familiar to you?” From his pocket he unfolded a picture printed on an A4 paper. Wade leaned in and squinted at the picture. He did recognise the person on it.

“Oh yes that’s my daddy - not my father - but like a sexual daddy you know. You should see his dick.” Nick looked like he was gonna lose it. Wade could tell, but he frankly did not give a shit.

“Well, your ‘daddy’ is the leader of an alien race, whose armada is in orbit right now to drop him off for a ‘date’ with you. So get dressed, because whether we get blown up or not today is apparently up to you.” That was a lot to take in, but Wade was used to weird days and this was simply just another one of them.

Now it was common to be nervous for a first date, but the fully armed SWAT team dropping Wade off was not helping. He tried making conversation with them, but they seemed to blame him for possible annihilation before dinner time.

When he stepped out of the chopper, there was a masculine figure waiting in front of the former military base. He held a large bouquet of iridescent flowers. They seemed either fake or from an alien planet. “Wadey!” The figure called out, waving frantically with all hands that were not holding the bouquet. The inhuman coloured skin seemed to change colour wherever the late morning sun was directly shining on it.

“Hi daddy,” Wade called back in the same cooing tone. He skipped over to his date. “Are those for me?” He mused, knowing the answer as his date handed them to him.

“I heard flowers are quite common to bring to a Terran date, so I brought some rare flowers from my planet for you. I am afraid they will not survive as long as they would on my planet though. The sun here is weak.” Wade smelled the flowers. They smelled like butt. Could be worse. At least Wade was familiar with the smell of butt. Wade held the flowers close as he thanked the other for them. “Well then, shall we? Your government was so kind to help me set up an Earth-date.”

The atmosphere was… weird. There was a very extensive brunch on a beautifully decorated table, but they were surrounded by people keeping them at gunpoint. “You don’t seem bothered by being held at gunpoint,” Wade noted as he rolled up his mask just far enough to shove a croissant into his mouth.

“Likewise,” his date smirked back at him. He reached out and touched the edges of the mask. “Come on, I already know your dick and ass are covered in scars. Your face cannot possibly scare me.” Wade thought about it. Well, his identity was not really a secret right now anyway. They already knew where he lived. Wade lifted his mask off his face, trying to not show how insecure he was about his fucked up face. However, when he looked at the alien before him, he swore he could see a hunger in his eyes. “If these people were not around, I would fuck your face right now,” the man sighed dreamily, before continuing to clumsily trying to spread butter on a piece of toast.

Wade reached out and decided to help him. Their fingers briefly touched and Wade saw the other man smile at the contact. It set his body on fire with desire. “I frankly don’t care about the audience, but after writing all those kinktober fics the writer can really use a break from blowjob scenes, so let’s keep this from being E-rated.”

Wade sat back down after buttering his date’s toast. He watched as the alien’s facial features reacted to the taste of Earth food. “Fascinating,” he spoke softly. Wade chatted with his date and those mesmerising eyes and charming smile kept drawing him in. At some point he was sure even Nick Fury could smell his arousal from wherever he was keeping an eye on the situation. There was no more food left, when his date rose from his seat and offered one of his hands. “Let’s get out of here.”

Wade grabbed his mask and put it back on. “We’ll have to fight our way out of here if we want to do that.” A corona of blue light started surrounding the alien, a devilish smile appearing on his face. The sudden display of power got people loading their guns and Wade’s gun filling up with blood really quickly.

“Do not worry, dearest, that can be arranged,” the most powerful being that had ever held him spoke, before he blasted a hole in the line of armed people, lighting the way to their future in a flurry of blue. “Let’s have a good time, dearest.”

#deadpool #wade wilson #ryan reynolds #deadpool x reader #male reader #deadpool x male reader #wade wilson x reader #wade wilson x male reader #mcu #marvel #mcu x reader #MCU x Y/N #mcu x you #mcu x male reader #marvel x reader #marvel x male reader #marvel x you #Marvel x Y/N

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ineffably-human · 1 year ago

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Nandor's better to Guillermo than I remember from my initial watch. It's still regressive (and it was starting to head that way in 4x10 too, so maybe this just continues from there), he still has times he's thoughtless and dismissive. But he's the one advocating the others listen, and that they do nice things for Guillermo. He's noticed something is wrong just like Laszlo, he just comes to a different conclusion. He listens to an offhand remark from Guillermo that wasn't even directed at him, just to get him a present.

Any shittiness he's engaging in comes from the very idea of Guillermo being a vampire. (The way Nandor brings that up to the others almost feels like he's been floating the idea in his head, which is a whole other thing; I'll see if I'm right with more episodes I guess and we'll take it at face value for now.) And aside from not wanting that to happen because it would change things, maybe lead to Guillermo leaving, etc it's laughable to him right now for the same reasons it would have been laughable to him in season 1 or 2. Guillermo is a little more assertive than in those years, but he's completely returned to the familiar role. He's reacting to Nandor with fear, more than he did even then.

Guillermo's big attitude change came with being a slayer, and now he seems to have forgotten that completely to the point that he doesn't even consider it as one of the reasons the transformation hasn't worked. He wasn't ready, he was in pain, this isn't how he imagined it (insert @cookinguptales's excellent meta on how it's all a big metaphor for virginity loss). And right now he doesn't know what his body is doing, and he's walking around consumed with guilt and imposter syndrome. Becoming a vampire is making him forget other real, important parts of who he is.

I think it's very easy for the vampires to regress - because of time, stagnation, etc - to an earlier point. Guillermo's regression is just as rapid-fire but it's from trauma. His intense desire to not want to talk about it, to wait over two weeks before the camera crew wears him down enough. To try and describe the turning as sexier and more intense and life-changing than it was, only to be jump-scared by Nandor and reminded that what he did was a (fully justified) betrayal. Has he forgotten that if Nandor really did want to kill him, Guillermo's kicked his ass without his now-perfect vision, and has killed dozens of vampires at a time? Or is the thought of hurting Nandor and fracturing that relationship the thing that hurts far worse here?

I'm a little insane about how, while in the process of going behind Nandor's back, while he's right about to get the thing he's ostensibly attached to Nandor for, he's insisting that Nandor will eventually do right by him and really truly cares about him. So much that Derek again asks Guillermo if he's sure about this.

Even more than the love search stuff Nandor dealt with over two seasons, all of this seems tailor-made to address the big unspoken questions of their relationship. What does Guillermo hope to gain as a vampire? How much of that involves his feelings for Nandor? What matters most to Nandor when it's Guillermo vs his own pride, especially if there were a real threat of losing him? Can they actually find their way to eternity together, and what does that look like when they do?

Which is to say, it's absolutely happening this season. And shit's going to get insane on the way.

#i haven't even started on the hypnosis runner and how the theme of this season is absolutely secrecy #that's a whole other (much better) essay #this is just me vomiting some thoughts out #fandom: wwdits #wwdits #what we do in the shadows #nandermo #otp: nandermo #i am a meta gremlin

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1864reruns · 10 months ago

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ㅤㅤㅤㅤbelieve in my weight / don't look backㅤ౨ৎㅤ3.5k

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ2024 ©1864RERUNS

synopsis. in his own stubborn, odd, and easily mis–interpreted way, zoro cares for you— enough to force his way through the gates of hell to have the weight of your being to sober him up.

warning(s). nsfw, afab! reader, starts off with zoro trying to kill you whoops, little bit of violence, oral (f! recieving), ? characterisation of zoro, zoro's swords are referred to with she/her pronouns, half proof–read (i'm going to sleep)

from vyon. don't perceive me, zoro is so fucking hard to write for no absolute reason. nearly gave up many times but managed to claw my way through out of pure spite; it's not my best work but i'm so sick of having to look at it in my drafts so it's being released, seriously as sexy as this guy is, fuck his ass. i refuse to write for him again. i wish i had enough patience to tie in eurydice and orpheus into this more but maybe i'll keep that in for next time.

do not repost / copy / translate.

You've made an odd habit of counting beats whenever Zoro trains with his swords. The rhythm changes depending on how many swords he choses to wield— it's something resembling a leaf gently falling to the earth after a gentle brush of air when both hands are tightened around a singular hilt, attentive with the way the blade runs against the air, unnecessary swings forsaken. It's systematic, a beat of one through eight as you share a delicacy worked from Sanji's hands with Luffy, feigning ignorance at the fact that Luffy's stretching his arm out to swipe at your food. With two, the earth shakes a little. He forces you into a faster tempo, you've no time to idly brush crumbs away from your lap nor care for Luffy taking more than half as Zoro splutters out different strokes against a canvas at a simultaneous rate, the air marked black as his blades tore through atoms.

At three, you're scrambling to keep up with him.

Your skin burns where Chopper's delicate hooves had struggled to work a bandage over, from your stomach, all the way up to the neck, it stretches down the length of your right arm and splits five ways to wrap around hardened fingers but doesn't touch the left side that itches where Zoro's blade skims. Your right arm nearly folds in half, failing to support your weight as the world shifts on its axis, your hair brushes against Sunny's deck and Zoro's frown turned upside down unnaturally.

You're unjustly stuck between appreciating his form when he's engaged and detesting how natural each swing falls upon you; Wado Ichimonji trails after like the shadow of your movement, unrelenting as it chased every ministration you make much like its cruel owner when he's got you held stubborn between his arms. You feel Zoro's unwavering eyes stern on everything that makes you up as all three swords keep up with your staggered agility; Sunny's deck creaked under your unstoppable tempo, marking the steps you both take like an ancient ritual that'll take shape eons away to call upon rain for harvest.

Zoro's blade runs heavy, each fall of his chest is followed by the threat of another sword slipping through your skin with ease; you move an inch, he'll force a mile through tiring bones to chase.

You realised something after Enma staggered after your scent, your sweat dripped down the blade as he straightened her up after a few locks of your hair shed down to the deck. "You're distracted," you managed to speak, dodging pants and heaves that locked up your lungs.

Zoro grunted. Sandai Kitetsu comes for you this time, you angled your foot so you could reach out to kick at his wrist without running the risk of the blade catching into your skin. She wavers in his hand for a mere second before his fingers tightened around the hilt even harder— you wouldn't be surprised if his palms were raw right now. Each stab, swing, slash becomes an invitation extended. Alluring you forward as the sun dawned down on all three blades, liquid as it ran down the sharpened metal and hooked around the crossguard and spilled over to pool at his wrist. The attraction that is Zoro and all three swords against you provokes you blind to crawl towards him, making you grimace; he beckons to you like a magnet, knowing the curve of your spine settles nicely in his ribs as your limbs shuddered against his beating heart.

He sternly creates a promise as he dances around you, your partner alternates between all three cursed blades but never does it becomes Zoro; keeping you at arm's length despite filling every burning nerve wrapped finely with bandages with desiring distaste, you wondered what his goal was here as you realised that you hadn't quite managed to get a good look at Zoro in the few hours you've spent wearing down the wood on the open deck.

Luffy's voice hits the air at the same time Zoro forces your head to swim with an awkward dodge, dots blur into your vision and you stumbled; a hand pressed against your temple to work the knots of a beginning ache away. The cheerful shout's tone follows the curve of the slide that takes you down to the lawn deck and a recognisable shadow casts over your face, seconds later, Luffy is cheering happily as he's flying across the air— resembling the path of Zoro's swords in his own manner— with a hand on his straw hat to keep it from flying. The shadow shortens as Luffy's arm loosened back to its original length.

The air that Zoro had worked to an intrusive stench takes its own form as Luffy graces it with his light presence; he keeps his back towards the sea on the figurehead as he idly crossed his legs and arms, head tilting as he looked at both yours and Zoro's form. "What're you doin'?"

"Training," Zoro answered, settling his swords back into their scabbards. The movement calls to the sudden session's end and you finally fall back, sprawled out on the deck as your chest rose and fell in time with the waves running against Sunny's hull. Your head feels as though you're still moving and clouds blur unnaturally into the reddening sky.

You hear Luffy hum and can imagine him reaching up a hand to grasp his chin, a dramatic frown playing at his lips as he pretended to think hardly about it. "Chopper said you needed to rest though," he aims this at you.

You think up a response in your head to defend yourself, pinning the blame onto Zoro, who'd barged into the infirmary and forced you out onto the open deck without a word but your mouth is dry and your jaw is heavy so you groan, turning your head away from the direction of Luffy's voice. An ache runs through your side like Zoro had managed to work one of his swords through you and the blade shattered still stuck in your skin, taking up a life of its own as it wormed through flesh and settled into the marrow, drinking up your life.

Your left hand crawls to your side, wrapping your fingers around the flesh of your side just below your chest and against your ribs, holding it down like you could ease the feeling by kneading the flesh. Zoro's silence is unnerving, you wondered how you managed to piss him enough for him to force you into training with him when you were still a recovering patient.

Chopper screaming your name reminds you that he'd expected you to stay within the infirmary— if you see him later, you'll tell him that you didn't expect to leave either. Dots gather into your vision, carved from Zoro's swords as they shake together, tightening into globs of blackened galaxies. "Zo." You didn't think the call of his name travelled from your brain to your lips but he recognises it regardless; you feel his weight creaking on Sunny's deck and a shadow dresses over the miniature starlight in your view. "M'gonna sleep."

He hummed, shifting his swords at his hip to accommodate you as an arm slivered underneath your thighs and the other curls around your side. Zoro's hand throbbed over the flesh of your thighs, you feel the pattern of curves from Sandai Kitetsu's hilt pressed into exposed flesh from his palms. His hands burn warmer than any part of your body, you recognised the tears of his lips that you could trace Wado Ichimonji's hilt from. Before you succumb to sleep, you manage to say something else. "Make sure t' let Chopper look at yer hands." His right hand taps against your rib, you nod your head, placated, before it falls onto his shoulder and everything eases into a slow silence. You managed to wave the hand thrown over his shoulder at your captain and get a lilted 'bye' in response.

Dreams have been foreign to you since you joined the Strawhats, though you're not certain that you could accurately recall the dreary shutter of memory that came pre–Strawhats either. Your memories have been washed away from beneath your skin from time spent under the stubborn sun you call a captain and any notable dream that stubbornly stuck to your skin from those unclean days were stained by his first mate. You remembered Zoro in each one. He stays dogged, chained to figures that you've wrongly painted in romantic hues of budding pink before you knew of his existence.

The infirmary stinks of medicine, chemicals and more familiarly, it smells of Chopper. The blanket weighs heavy on your chest and when you rise to allow the material from you, you realised that there were two blankets thrown over your form, as if to shackle you down. The image of your doctor throwing a weighted blanket over you is funnier than it should be, especially when armed with the fictional reason you've managed to claw together.

You turned your head when you managed to lean up against the wall the head of the bed is resting against, Sandai Kitetsu greets you. She's propped up against the side of the bed, her end caught between the bed and the table beside it to keep her up. The blade seems to purr when you reached out, bandaged fingers wrapping around the hilt— you find that it's similar to holding Zoro's hand, rough against your own palm with the sudden threat that hangs heavy of knowing this could hurt you if it wanted but it's warm enough to make you content, to make you trust enough to know otherwise. You pick up the blade and place it over your lap, studying the scabbard with light touches, nails tickling over leather. A problem child, you remembered in Zoro's voice.

The door creaks open. You snap your head up too quickly, hissing as you squeezed your eyes tight, lowering your head back down.

Steps close in on you and Sandai Kitetsu is lifted from your grasp; she's settled down on the chair by your bed and then her two sisters follow. "Move over." Zoro lifts the two blankets, urging you to move with tightened eyebrows and lips tugged into an annoyed frown.

You shuffled over, nearly falling from your own bed as Zoro forces his width into the bed; his hand catches onto your hips before he manages to push you off and he pulls you up to rest on his side.

"Sanji managed to piss you off, didn't he?" You placed an elbow by his head, bending your arm up to hold the side of your face in your hands. Your other hand is light on Zoro's furrowing features, pressing down on artificial wrinkles with your thumb and smoothing them out; the lay of tanned skin is pliant under one of your measly fingers, dulling under a mere stroke. He gives you a sigh that answers your question and shuffles closer, nudging you with his shoulder.

His arm looped through the triangle you've carved into the space with your right arm and your head, his hand falls onto the back of your head and he pushes your face down into the crook of his neck. "He gave me shit for forcin' you out of bed." You hit your fist against the side of his face and pushed yourself back up. Your chest lays on his, legs tangled together— it's more uncomfortable than intimate with how broad Zoro's grown to be.

"Do you regret it?"

Curt, seemingly cold; "no, I'd do it again."

You hummed, placing your head down onto his chest; Zoro's hand falls on your head, brushing your hair away from his chin and tucked his head down to tap his jaw against your head. "You upset?"

Without hesitation, "no." Not with him atleast, not for forcing you up to train with him from morning to the late hours of the afternoon even though your skin was still charred aching and weak from a run–in with a vice–admiral. Contrary to popular belief, Zoro's thinking is simple as can be; as strange as it was, Zoro making you fight him was his own way of caring or coping, you've yet to decide. "Nami got hurt." You muttered, turning your head to hide, your nose lays flat against his skin, oxygen fails to sliver through the gaps and breathing becomes a little hard.

"The witch can take care of herself," Zoro pats your waist, urging you to turn your head. The clear breath of oxygen you take burns as it runs through your body; the cold tingles Zoro's skin where it parts with your mouth, each ministration reminds him that you're strong, you're here, he doesn't have to keep his eyes on you all the time to make sure you'll live another day. You managed to keep up with him for nearly five hours; wounded, slow, staggered, your skin never met a single one of his blades. You'll be fine.

You don't reply, still dejected at your failure to look after your own crewmates whilst the monster trio were elsewhere; there's a semblance of understanding that's long taken root in your mind, shared with Nami and Usopp. The fact is that you're strong enough at any given moment in an odd crowd of civilians but there's still a terrifying gap that'll never be bridged between you and people like Zoro, Luffy, Jinbei.

"You can train with me," he offers, his hand beginning to run up and down your side; his thumb carves the path that his fingers trail after, Zoro moves languidly, quicker than his swords. Fingers hook underneath your shirt and dig through your bandages. Zoro's face scrunches up, "after you recover— that shitty cook." He trailed off, teeth clenched.

"I think your weights will kill me." You humourlessly reply, swatting his fingers from out under your bandages.

"You just need enough strength to protect the people you care about." He doesn't try sliding his fingers past the layer to get to your skin again but the pressure of his palm intensifies, as if to make up for the fact that there's something in the way of what he wants.

You turned your head up after a moment, your chin resting below his collarbone. "And you, what about you?"

His eyes flickered down to you, head tilting and eyebrow raised. "No, never."

"Are you saying I'll never be strong enough to protect you?"

He shifts, pulling you with him. You slide one of your legs over his waist to the other side, straightening up as you leaned back to rest your bottom on his waist; he pushed himself up slightly, leaning his shoulders against the wall. "I'll never be weak enough to force you into that position."

"But what if—"

"No."

You're starting to get personally offended, face scrunching up dramatically to question his ways. His hands fall onto your hips, they're idle for a second, thumb crossing the line of bandages and skin before his middle finger slips into the belt loop of your jeans and he slides you up his lap, stabilising you with his hands on your ass. There's no room to argue with Zoro as he ducks his head down and intrudes into your mouth, his tongue easing away any rebuttal you've been pondering over. You decide to give him another win, tilting your head and smoothing your hands over his shoulders to the back of his neck. Your fingers are barely touching the sides of his neck but he shivers, giving you an apology with a groan for shutting you up so harshly.

Knowing your limits, your hands don't fall down to Zoro's back. You've noticed that he's not a fan of any unnecessary, calculated touches along the broad expanse of his clear back— it's a shame with how often he trains shirtless, sweat falling from short strands of green, messy hair and catches on his spine, dribbling down the hollow river that separates his two muscled sides. Whether he's aware of it or not, he likes holding your hands when he fucks up into you, likes having your nails dig into the back of his hand and carve indents between knuckles. You notice how he grimaces at first after, when his hands curl around the curve of his sword, only for an amused smirk to start playing at his lips when he nods his head down to find the culprit of sudden pain.

Your fingers turn upwards, settling into strands of hair and splitting apart knotted ends as Zoro wrapped an arm around your waist, keeping you against him and his other hand trails up to your face. He didn't listen to you, if Chopper had seen how he'd managed to wreck his hands from his tight grip on Enma or Sandai Kitetsu, he'd have forced a salve onto Zoro and then wrapped it up carefully. Instead, cracked skin tickles against your cheek. There's something childish about the moment, reminiscent of having to keep a door cracked open in the bedroom of your parent's home, keeping quiet as the sound of fabric shuffling takes place, the sounds of life still moving on despite the time stilling for you. His lips are dry and you taste Wado Ichimonji's ito on his mouth, the diamond shaped pattern creates a strange design of cracks that you have to swipe your tongue over to ease the tickling.

It doesn't take much to convince you out of your trousers, to settle yourself on his face— it's a nice change of pace when you're always going out of your way to argue against him for fun. Your knees hollow craters into the pillow as you leaned your head against the wall, scrambling for something to hold onto. There's a ferocity in Zoro's servitude that leaves you whimpering, thighs tightening around his head so harshly that it makes his ears pop— he's unwavering, stubborn, tireless as warm hands clenched around the meat of your thighs.

The weight of your entirety on his face, your thighs keeping his arms' movement minimal, locking his bent arms under your weight as your toes catch the bed covers, pulling and wrinkling the material keeps Zoro sober. He's so eager with tenacious force that he starts tasting his leftover spit before he gets to taste you. It doesn't become much of a problem though because you want him just as much as he wants you so it's easy to get that taste he's taken such a nasty liking to. Zoro just has to crane his neck up, allow the space for an unyielding ache to settle, press his lips against your clit a few times, toying at it with his tongue before you're dripping on his chin.

It's hard to imagine you elsewhere when you're so stern in existence on him like this. A particular curl of his tongue makes you squeal around his name, thighs quivering beside his head and Zoro realises. He doesn't think it matters where you go. If you've been granted to him— if he's learnt how to live at your feet, chasing after every breath you've rewritten in your lungs— how would it be acceptable to not turn the world inside out if you're gone? May it be hell, purgatory, what could stop Zoro from slaughtering what ever force that's keeping you from sitting on his face so prettily, calling his name like he's your personal God? There's no feat of superhuman strength that wouldn't shatter through Zoro's bones if it gets him to you.

A groan from Zoro invades your skin, stuttering up all the way thirty–three bones of your spine and makes a home at your neck. You toss your head back, a shuddering breath snapped against the steady, heated air swimming around the room. His name falls from your lips again, there's nothing else to say when Zoro's mouth falls on you and he grunts, his response is always so minimal— too far engaged with eating you out like he's chasing after his own high.

There's no headboard to the infirmary beds so you're left to claw at the wall, leaning forward to scramble something with uncertain stability on the bed; you tightened your fingers around the edge of the bed as you folded over, your waist hitting against his head slightly. Zoro's hand manages to push past your thighs confining him and drags up your skin under your shirt, his nail draws a soft line across your stomach that has the skin trembling as a whine falls from your lips. There's no ulterior motive behind it other than to connect another part of him to you, he leaves your skin burning in his wake as he retracts his hand and offers it for you to hold onto.

The last orgasm you're eased through, shaking your head and blood dripping down Zoro's arms from where your nails have worked down the skin, stratching and digging— Zoro knows you'll never be far away enough from him for him to not give chase. As long as there's a remnant of you somewhere carried in the wind, he'll follow. It's not like Luffy will stand in his way either.

#op production: circa. 1864 #roronoa zoro x reader #roronoa zoro x you #roronoa zoro x y/n #zoro x reader #zoro x you #zoro x y/n #zoro oneshot #zoro smut #one piece smut

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coldflasher · 2 months ago

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still thinking about my post from the other day about eobard making barry the flash about a decade earlier, when he's still a teenager, so he'd be easier to manipulate. and then obviously i started thinking about where len would be in this scenario because i'm unwell and i have permanent leonard snart brainrot :)

assuming barry's 13 in this AU and we're sticking with the same age gap, len would be around 30... so then i started thinking about how different the dynamic would be, with a lonely barry who's being increasingly isolated by eobard, right in the thick of the most tumultous time in his relationship with joe, because he's always sneaking off and coming back all busted up and lying his head off and acting all cagey and exploding with temper every five minutes---except while joe thinks he's just a traumatized kid acting out and having a hard time at school, really he's off every night being "trained" by eobard and then being pitted against fully grown adult metas... though i do think i'd make at least some of them the same age as barry if only because imagine the ANGST of barry getting his powers, thinking he finally has one up on his bullies, and then the other kids at school start turning into metas as well.

i'm thinking specifically of tony woodward—all the pain and frustration and humiliation that twenty-five-year-old barry felt facing up against his childhood bully, now with powers... imagine that, except he's still at school, still stuck in the thick of it with this kid who's made his life hell, except now his bully has superpowers, and so any fantasies barry might have had about kicking his ass now he's the flash and is more powerful than any of the kids at school could imagine? well, forget it, because tony's STILL bigger and stronger than him and now he's now kicking barry's ass outside of school too

anyway i'm getting sidetracked. my point is i was thinking about moody teenage barry and an older len who's faced up against the flash, thinking there's a new player in town, only to discover that the flash is some scrawny punk kid with no one in his corner, and all the adults in his life are failing him, ESPECIALLY this creep eobard thawne who's "mentoring" him. len takes a very dim view of anyone who's getting a kid mixed up in the criminal world, considering his own father did it to him, AND he's just getting skeevy vibes off eobard anyway because he's an adult and better equipped to see through eobard's manipulations, unlike barry, who's doing the infuriating teenage thing of thinking he's sooo mature for his age and knows what he's doing and is not gonna listen to anyone who's trying to warn him that this whole thing is super sketchy and he's falling victim to a predator, but unfortunately he's not gonna realize it until he's a decade or so older and his frontal lobe develops---

and so we have this (platonic bc barry's like 13/14, though barry probably has a lil unrequited crush) coldflash dynamic with them kinda being friends bc len's somehow inadvertently ended up a mentor/support system for this fucked up, scrappy, little meta kid because god knows no one else is looking out for him, and anyway here's a small snippet of what my brain's doing (unedited but whatever we're just having fun and god knows i can't start another insane sprawling AU right now as much as i've been violently chewing on this idea all day, soooo)

Barry picked at the splintered wood on the table. “Eobard makes me feel kinda weird sometimes.”

Len watched him out of the corner of his eye. He didn’t like the sound of that. “Weird how?”

Barry shrugged his birdlike shoulders.

For a moment, Len focused on the map laid out in front of him, considering his next move. When it came to locks, carefully getting them to open up was his specialty. When it came to people, not so much.

He decided to be blunt. “He touch you?”

Barry’s mouth popped open, outrage and disgust mingling together. “No!” he protested, his voice cracking a little. Immediately, his mouth snapped shut, jaw jutting out mulishly, and he glared at Len. “Not like that.”

Len scrutinized him. He was pretty satisfied it was an honest answer. The kid wasn’t a bad liar, given time to prepare, but he sucked at improv; put him on the spot and he crumbled in seconds.

“He’s just… intense, that’s all. About my powers.”

Somehow Len doubted that was all he was intense about. Clearly something about this Eobard creep was making the kid’s spidey senses tingle, and probably for good reason. Len knew his type—there were plenty like him in prison, doing time for their proclivities. And plenty more on the outside who were better at hiding it. Just because the guy hadn’t put his hands on the kid so far didn’t mean he hadn’t thought about it.

“You thought about talking to someone?” Len asked. “An adult?”

Barry gave him a withering look like only a teenager could, then looked him insolently up and down, like he was missing something very obvious. Len gave him a similarly derisive look right back, one with over a decade of extra power behind it, just to show him how it was done. “I meant an authority figure.”

“You mean like a shrink?” Barry scoffed—which was pretty similar to what Len’s response would have been if anyone had made that suggestion to him. “Pretty sure Joe’s insurance wouldn’t cover another one. And we’d have to go out of state. I’ve seen every shrink in the city and they all think I’m crazy.”

“Your Dad, then.” Not that Len believed a guy who murdered his wife was exactly a stellar role model, and clearly Henry Allen was no stranger to manipulation himself, to have the kid so staunchly convinced he hadn’t done it when it had happened right in front of him—but having a father in prison had its perks. Len’s own father wasn’t exactly father of the year, but even he’d have called in a few favours from Iron Heights if he caught wind of some creep sniffing around his kid, if only on principle.

“I’m not allowed to see him,” Barry muttered.

The dark look in his eye told Len that there was little use in suggesting he told Joe. Clearly, they still weren’t getting along.

#that was a lot of preamble for a very short snippet but we're setting the tone #i have a lot of thoughts about this hypothetical universe #sorry young rogues AU. young team flash AU is where it's at #except there is no team flash because eobard is isolating barry to make sure he has no friends and allies to fall back on <3 #my fics #cw grooming #cw child abuse mention #young flash fic

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thyandrawrites · 2 months ago

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how would you feel about a canon divergence last arc where Enji is killed entirely anticlimactically by a horde of Twice clones, Shigafo or even kills himself by overheating?

none of the Todorokis would be happy about it, but his absence in the ending and in Touya's final arc leaves a lot of space for the family members drama/bonding without Enji's atonement arc hogging away all the spotlight.

/thanks for the answer in advance! >o</

hi!

I feel like I should preface this by saying that I hate the guy, so my reply will be biased and not to be taken as objective meta!

I’ve come full circle about how I feel about Enji dying before the end of the manga. I used to think that him dying in battle before he could make it up to his family would just make him a martyr. But after seeing how Horikoshi made him a martyr anyway while also keeping him alive, I think his death would’ve actually improved things. For one, because as you said, he would be removed from the Todofam plotline, giving the story more room to explore all the povs he overshadows in canon by robbing them of screentime. And this is just my opinion, but I feel like him dying while on the job would’ve given his arc a much more thematically coherent ending too tbh.

The thing is, until the very end, Enji never delivered on the challenge that the narrative set out for him through Shouto. That is, demonstrating that he can be a father. To do that, the story repeatedly calls attention to how he should stop showing off as a hero and hoping that’s enough for his victims. But that’s a lesson he never accepts.

You can trace this back in every single one of his pov chapters / introspections. Every time he thinks about how he should be doing right by his family, he always, ALWAYS, refers to himself as Endeavor or mentions his duty as a hero. Up until the end, where his way of owning up to Touya is to almost commit murder-suicide with him so that he can keep… protecting the greater good, I guess. And then when his family shows up and kicks his ass for it, he still doesn’t learn from it. When he visits Touya in the tube, guess what the first thing he mentions is?

as usual, ¾ of his monologue is about how he failed his own vision of how he should’ve acted as a hero, followed by a spiel about the shame he feels over his own shortcomings. None of that ever meant anything to his victims,

but he always mentions it first. His self-image is always at the forefront of his mind, and it is important to him to always lead with it. That’s cause Endeavor is the persona he created to deal with his guilt as a father. It’s not just his job, it’s a mask he always donned to justify his actions in his head. It is important to him that he atones as Endeavor to his family because he wants to forgive himself for the actions he committed in the name of that hero persona. That’s why he never actually steps up as “just” Enji.

It’s for that reason, though, that I think a death on the job would’ve been thematically appropriate for his arc.

Remember how in the lead up to the second war arc, Enji made it a point to ignore not only Touya, but refuse to face Shouto as well until Shouto lured him out with an excuse and confronted him? That shows us how Enji ranks his priorities. Family? Negligible, hard to face. Work? The only thing he’s willing to put any active effort into. The only thing that keeps him functioning, in fact. His only source of escapism from the consequences of his actions.

Now, if Horikoshi had any backbone as a writer, he could’ve written that to its natural end. If Enji keeps turning down any chance to own up to his shit and give priority to work instead… If he actively chooses to push himself close to death every time in a misguided effort to redeem himself… then that should be his fatal flaw.

If growth isn’t possible with his unwillingness to face the past, then he should’ve died a tragic death. And by tragic I mean in the sense of greek tragedies. His hubris and inability to change his ways should lead to an eventual downfall caused by his flaws. He wants to prove himself as a hero, even when times and times again he was told and shown that won’t be enough to his family? Good, then let him attempt to fistfight his way to redemption and die pointlessly in that struggle. Imo that would’ve been better than what canon did by letting him have the cake and eat it too. It would’ve also sent a better message, by showing that it was his choices that led to a preventable death. He could’ve done better by his family and gotten to live. Instead, he chooses to persist in his old ways, and the narrative doesn’t give him a free pass for it. This would’ve also tied in very nicely to Shouto’s narrative because Shouto firmly believes in personal responsibility over fate and predestination. If his father had actually suffered any consequences for making the wrong calls in the war arc, then it would’ve brought the story full circle from the question Shouto asked him several arcs prior.

Endeavor is strong, but how will you atone as a father?

and the answer would be “he won’t”, because Enji chose not to be a father, but a hero instead.

Also, Enji dying as a consequence of his choices and not as the outcome of Touya’s actions as a villain wouldn’t have impacted Touya’s own arc, or Touya’s own redeemability in the eyes of both the audience and his family.

So. I’m not opposed to it. It would’ve been a win win situation honestly. Enji surviving against any logic and staying stagnant until the end for shit and giggles actively makes the story worse. Letting him die a thematically coherent death would’ve been better for all the Todorokis arcs, but it also would’ve made a much more poignant argument about how choices matter. Which, you know. would’ve been a nice way to end a subplot about how a single man’s choices almost led to the downfall of a country.

#ali replies #bnha

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icedragonlizard · 8 months ago

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DMK and Daroach friendship headcanons

I headcanon these two being close buds. Heck, I'd actually even go as far as to consider them these two shadowy bozos to be best friends.

Dark Meta Knight doesn't have a lot of friends in my headcanons... he's really only friends with Kirby and the rest of wave 2, as he couldn't care less about the rest of the dream friends. But he's grown to be quite endeared to Daroach. And Daroach genuinely thinks that DMK is the coolest person in existence. These two are literally bros.

They met during Star Allies. Even when they first met, they... were already drawn to each other? Daroach was very intrigued to meet a shadier counterpart of Meta Knight, and figured that he'd go and hang around with the guy. Fortunately for him, that ended up working, as DMK ended up being drawn to the vibes and style that Daroach had, something he didn't do for most of the other star allies.

When the star allies split up into groups, these two were in the same group alongside Adeleine and Ribbon. Wave 2 as a whole was a group adventuring together during a lot of the time in Star Allies' events.

DMK and Daroach enjoyed kicking the asses of the cult's forces together. Daroach was generous enough to give elemental powers to DMK's sword on many occasions, beating up enemies in new ways.

They both also protected Adeleine and Ribbon from the cult's forces.

The wave 2 quartet bonded more closely after Star Allies, as they had a fun road-trip together (wave 1 also had a fun road-trip together, as did wave 3). Adeleine and Ribbon were already besties before Star Allies, but the road-trip made Daroach and DMK become besties.

Post-SA, Daroach and DMK visit each other regularly. DMK has set up a dimensional mirror somewhere in Sacred Square that Daroach uses to get to the mirror world to visit him. The first few times DMK attempted to vacation on Popstar, Daroach was the guy that helped show him around on the planet, and the squeaks' hideout is the place that DMK resorts to whenever he sleeps in Popstar on vacations.

The entire squeak squad likes DMK. They think he's the most badass dude ever. They ask him to show off by destroying random things.

What friendly activities do DMK and Daroach to together? Many things, in fact. Daroach has dragged DMK out of his comfort zone to do fun stuff. The things they do together include board games, truth-or-dare games, drinking beer, and some mischief during nighttime.

When Daroach visits the mirror world, DMK joins him in robberies in random places there. It's just some stupid fun they have together.

Daroach knows that DMK is still devoted to Dark Mind, but that doesn't really bother him all that much. He's able to keep DMK in check from going too far in nefarious plans with Dark Mind, even.

Overall, these are shadowy partners doing shadowy stuff.

Adeleine and Ribbon also come by sometimes to hang out with them.

Another big thing is that Daroach puts in effort to increase DMK's sense of humor, which was rather low at first. Daroach keeps cracking bunches of bad jokes. DMK at times can't admit but have dumb giggles to some of those terrible jokes every now and then.

They're also just about always right beside one another during star ally meetings that happen four times a year. This is partially because DMK is unpopular in the group and is prone to getting into fights with some of the other star allies. Daroach sticks right beside him to be emotional support and to help ensure that he doesn't get into fights.

The statement of DMK being rather unpopular in star ally gatherings is not an exaggeration, by the way. He fails miserably at getting along with the other ex-villains, with Daroach being the sole exception.

Dark Meta Knight does not at all get along with Marx, Taranza, Susie and Magolor. He despises all four of them. He's very prone to getting into fights with any of those four by just simply being nearby them.

And he doesn't really get along that well with the mage sisters either. He doesn't necessarily hate them as much as Marx + Wave 3 as they don't quite bother him as much, but he still doesn't care about them.

This means that overall, DMK has a rather poor track record in how he interacts with most of the other ex-villain dream friends. But Daroach is the pure exception to that. DMK and Daroach are buddies.

Daroach knows and understands that certain people do not like DMK, but that doesn't deter him. He himself thinks that the guy is super cool regardless, and he's not trying to get everyone to like the guy. He understands that DMK has moral issues, but he still sees the good in him and lets him know that he's appreciated. He believes in him.

Despite DMK being rather detached, he genuinely really likes Daroach. DMK really likes his fellow wave 2ers, but Daroach can be considered his best friend. He's let his guard down around Daroach.

And so that basically sums up the friendship of these dark dudes.

Yeah. I know that I portray Dark Meta Knight to have poor relationships with certain other dream friends, but he and Daroach are genuine pals. Although it's a little funny how much they differ in personality, as Daroach is very chill and laidback while DMK is bad-tempered and brutal. But Daroach is very easily capable of putting up with assholes, in my opinion. He's got all the patience in the world.

See y'all on the next one.

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magadauthan · 7 months ago

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Ep 26: Under the Sky So Blue

Thank you to the @trigun98watchparty for making this possible, and to all of you who have been reading along with me to this point. It's been a great trip down memory lane and getting acquainted or re-acquainted with other '98 fans who watched the first Trigun and loved it despite its flaws.

Also big thank you to those who engaged in meta, especially @tiggymalvern! Finding you again was the nicest surprise of all!

Without further ado, I am plant-ing (HARF) my tongue firmly in cheek for the intro to this recap.

Knives. We need to talk.

You have spent the last 130 years working on becoming the most basic bitch on NML, and you've done a good job. You couldn't be any blonder or blue-eyed. You have (had) a loyal second-in-command who did all your dirty work for you so you didn't have to get your hair mussed. You have a Squad who secretly hates you but sticks around because they want to be on the right side of things if you win out. And you have a silly-looking pair of boots.

It's also well known that you are the Beverage Boy of NML. On your desk (which is sitting in front of a big loopy wall art stating "Live, Laugh, Murder Everyone") and next to the "Universe's #1 Brother" mug you bought yourself is a canvas frame that says "But first, coffee." You probably killed everyone else at Target so you could get the latest Stanley.

But Knives. Knives. The wine? That's a red you're drinking. Red wine doesn't get chilled. It should be decanted and served at room temperature. Plus, basic bitches drink rosé, or a white zinfandel. To make your declassé behavior worse, you're drinking it out of a martini glass. If you're going to have a Cosmo, have a Cosmo. It's no shame. But really - how are you going to claim that you're a superior breed if you don't know such simple rules of etiquette?

Get a grip, Beverage Boy.

--Aw, baby Vash.

--I wonder whether the twins need to eat and drink, or whether it's just easier for them if they do.

--You know, Knives, humans wouldn't have had to rely so heavily on the Plants if you hadn't crashed the ships. Ofc he didn't intend to have anyone survive besides himself and Vash, which sounds pretty boring. What were the two of you going to do for all eternity?

--Was Knives working on the guns before the ship crashed, and that's what he went in to find?

--I remember seeing somewhere that the little cartridge above the barrel of the Long Colts is a teeny Plant, or Plant-stuff. Anyone else recall this?

--NOW who's the big whiny baby, Knives? (my leg, it hurts! Why?)

--That must be a very young Doc on the ship. Although, there's nothing to say that a year on NML is the same as a year on Earth. It would be more surprising if it was, rather than it wasn't.

--LOL William Conrad (aka Revnunt Buskus) is from Cleveland, Ohio

--No but seriously, how did Knives get himself and Vash's severed arm out of July after getting blasted to smithereens?

--"Hi Knives! Living as a human was great! Congratulations bro, I am done with your shit!"

--Vash kept quite a few of Leonov's wires. They've come in handy.

--Knives has learned Vash's physical tricks well enough to keep up with him... and Vash has finally figured out how to control his Plant powers well enough to cancel his brother out. (Tristamp really nailed this; their battle in the final ep was fantastic)

--Vash is worn out. Not only has he been shot through the shoulder by his brother, he's likely not completely healed from the encounter with Legato.

--Even in death, WW is looking after his friend and kicking his ass to do something, damnit! I'm right here to help you!

--The peppering Knives got from the Punisher likely wouldn't have been enough to put Vash off, but Knives has never been able to handle physical pain. Vash remembers this very well and takes excellent advantage of it.

--that boy has jawlines for days

--A blast from the well, the cauldron of Rebirth. Vash is reborn to be his own person, to make the right choices for himself and his conscience, rather than for her memory.

Which is what every mother wants for her son. I should know.

--go get your man, Meryl, he won't keep you waiting. if he did you'd go find him anyway.

--Vash leaves his coat, his gun... and his sunglasses. He's done hiding behind them. He doesn't need to anymore.

--This would have been the ending scene, for most anime. Anyone who watches anime gets used to the vague ending, the things left unsaid, and the ambiguity. There's rarely a "happy ending" the way Westerners think of them. Vash could have wandered off into the sunset, leaving the viewer to wonder whether he ever saw Milly and Meryl again. That's pretty normal.

And then there's Trigun, which takes that expected ambiguity and says "nah, we're not done."

Vash comes back to town. He's made his choice to accept the girls into his life, of his own volition, and he's going to let them make their own choices about having him (and his brother) in their lives. There would be an awful lot to sort out, but he wants to try.

This is the very next scene. Don't tell me otherwise; I don't want to hear it. (credit: doujinshi circle Nail Cut Club; title Meteo Strike).

I have Big Thoughts about what could happen after this, and of course a fanfic, but my cat wants me to go to bed now. She's being very persistent.

Thanks to all of you who read this far. You're the best, and I love you all! And talk to me, I like hearing from ppl!

#trigun #trigun 98 #trigun 98 watch party #vash the stampede #millions knives #vashmeryl #vash x meryl #day 26 #under the sky so blue

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effemar · 2 years ago

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ON BRIENNE, HAIR, AND BUTCHNESS — META BELOW THE CUT.

So I’ve been working on a Brienne piece recently, and noticed in my reference designs that her hair isn’t a consistent length — a totally unintentional piece of Brienne meta in itself — and I wanted to type out some thoughts about it.

I think Brienne’s relationship with femininity is so interesting and complex. She’s living in a deeply misogynistic society, and she’s simultaneously insecure about not being feminine, and functionally unable to be feminine, at least by Westerosi standards. This is both because of her physical appearance and because of her aspirations. However, she’s not willing to reject femininity outright. Being feminine in some regard is important to her, enough so that she is upset both at being called a man and being mistaken for one.

Because of this, my Brienne hair headcanons are complicated. I’ll explain.

It needs to be awkward, because Brienne’s awkward. It needs to be functional, since she’s practical. It needs to be recognizably feminine, because she values her femininity. Hair, at least in our western society, is very gendered, both when conforming and subverting. I cut my hair in a men’s cut (or as close as I can get) specifically because I have very feminine features and I dress in a feminine way. My hair is simultaneously form of disruption, a deliberate contrast, and a signal of my identity. So my design of Brienne’s hair needed to be an intentional and nuanced choice.

I imagine, and I believe the text supports this, that Brienne is unsure of herself in terms of presentation, especially gender presentation. This is partially because she’s young, and partially because Westeros isn’t known for its great diversity of female role models. So I drew inspiration from my awkward middle school bisexual bob, from when I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing in terms of presentation. Also, since Brienne’s name is a play on Joan of Arc, I took into consideration classical depictions of Joan, especially Albert Lynch’s Jeanne d’Arc.

I have been talking about this with my dear friend Jasper, who is butch, and in terms of Brienne’s butch factor, we agree on a few points. Brienne can definitely be considered butch (adjective), but I don’t think she’s truly butch (noun), at least not yet. Brienne’s at a point where she definitely resents not being a traditionally feminine woman, insomuch as it makes her life difficult, but she’s also too insecure to project any intentional masculinity. In a modern analogy, I would say that Brienne is the type of person to wear women’s clothing, but not women’s clothing that is overtly feminine — the type of person to try putting on makeup in the bathroom and then quickly wipe it off. She’s not really participating in femininity actively — she’s just trying to blend in. Also again, practicality. I doubt Brienne, in any setting, is going to be wearing skirts on the regular.

I’m also drawing on Brienne’s thoughts and experiences in the books, which I interpret as follows: Brienne doesn’t dislike being in dresses just because they’re feminine; there are distinct reasons. Firstly, they draw attention to her lack of traditional femininity/beauty. Secondly, they have bad associations for Brienne — she’s been mocked in them, she’s been forced into them, and she fought a bear in one, so I can’t imagine they bring up good memories. Third, they just aren’t suited to a lifestyle of kicking ass. But I struggle to believe she truly dislikes the, for what they are — a gendered garment.

Most of this comes down to my personal thoughts on Brienne’s future and present. I think right now, a lot of Brienne’s gender angst comes down to the fact that she’s not yet comfortable enough in her presentation/gender/personhood to fully commit to being something in between. In my dream scenario, Brienne is comfortable embracing her unconventional gender and presents the way she wants, not the way people expect her to.

All this to say, I think Brienne has a really shitty bob with bangs she cuts herself.

#asoiaf #brienne of tarth #meta

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allofthebeanz · 1 year ago

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Buckle up, kids, Beanz is gonna rant about fictional characters...

(heads up that while I'm not being negative or critical of someone's interpretation, I do refer to what I've seen in fic and how I feel about it in terms of my own reading of characterization. If you're sensitive about this kind of meta (like I am!) please feel free to skip over this post)

Okay so during my recent marathon of Due South fic reading, I noticed that some people characterize Ray (Kowalski) as seeing Fraser as 'Supermountie' and I definitely see where this comes from. Everyone has an image surrounding Fraser. Ray Vecchio definitely buys the persona and deals with hero worship until the second season where he comes to terms with Fraser being a repressed bastard rather than superman. I personally adore Red, White, and Blue because of Ray's character development in the pretend argument he has with Fraser. (And I have to say it's a shame that the actor didn't want to come back for more cameos so we could see the interactions between the two afterwards).

Now obviously Ray, and most of the people Fraser surrounds himself with (Thatcher, Turnbull, Welsh, Frannie) care about him as a person, but they still see him as an indestructible hero. He does crazy shit and he pulls you along and you're scared for yourself because you're not like him. Or, if he gets hurt, he just bounces right back because his duty is above anything else how can he stay down for too long. He's Fraser, he can do ANYTHING.

Maybe this is just me, but I never got that from Ray Kowalski. Ray comes in, he thinks 'wow, what a weirdo' (not in a bad way, Fraser's just weird like all the other members of the cast tbh). He tells Fraser not to go in a burning building. He tells him not to lick electrical sockets. He calls Fraser a freak - there is zero hero worship towards him. What happens when Fraser turns out to catch a knife? Ray's livid about it. Ray decides to box with Fraser because he sees them as equals, right? There's no 'wow, Fraser's gonna kick my ass' it's just 'fight me'.

To me the only thing Ray had to do, which everyone does, is figure out how Fraser communicates. Ray figures out how Fraser manipulates. He's passive-aggressive with the niggling and the high vocabulary. But he never needed to figure out Fraser's human. Because he told him - to his face - 'you don't have a cape'. He wants Fraser to be vulnerable about him because he already knows he has vulnerabilities. There's no 'do you get angry Fraser' it's 'just get angry already!'.

In MotB Ray gets all snippy again in the submarine because Fraser does that thing where he's blank faced and calm. Fraser, five minutes ago, was yelling at Ray and giving him the beautiful 'are you happy now' face. Ray seemed to be calmer with that Fraser. And, hey, sure Fraser shows anger there but we also get a rare smile at the end. With Ray! That's the most emotion we've ever seen from him since Victoria's Secret!!!

tl;dr: RayK, at least to my reading, has never seen Fraser as SuperMountie

#due south #ray kowalski #benton fraser #fraser/rayk #beanz rambles #i don't know why but I needed to get this off my chest #i have no fucking clue if it makes sense but i've been having some Thoughts

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aid-worker-sya · 6 months ago

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Secrets of the Quality or the Schedule Release; or, Secrets of the Go Do Random Events; or, Secrets of The Commander's Really Weird Couple Of Months; or, Secrets of Is Peitha Still Hot Or Boring Now (or something like that)

hi i'm not too active in gw2 tumblr (i gotta fix that i just gotta follow more of you on main) but y'know i've been playing gw2 since beta with a few years-long breaks and this is the first time i was playing an expansion on launch so i thought i at least wanted to share my thoughts.

my tl;dr is that there was some good and some bad but i think i'd prefer an entire expansion up front or it in like two updates and then an epilogue like WLB was for Cantha despite my extraordinarily negative feelings feelings on Gyala Delve and that all of this should've been like Part 1 of a new Wizard Saga.

i don't think we'll ever have a very complete consensus, because GW2's fanbase has been historically divided on almost everything since launch. the dragons, Dragon's Watch, BRAHAM, almost everything on this game has been a love-or-hate since that fateful day back in 2012. and from what i've noticed throughout the years, tumblr is usually more positive of GW2's story updates more than other websites, so i'm pretty curious about what went right and also wrong too. so i really wanted to give as a long time player my feelings on all this, bc it was... interesting. both for good and bad.

and perhaps biggest of all: a common criticism countless GW2 players have had since: the idea the Commander is not really the main protagonist because they're always serving as the champion or second-in-command to someone else, something i've historically disagreed even before Traehearne's rewrite but now i'm a bit more "hmm" about. also why the fuck wasn't this like a Wizard Saga of like 2-3 expansions.

it was certainly a mixed bag, i don't agree with people saying it was the worst thing ever, as far as i'm concerned What Lies Beneath was this game's absolute fucking rock bottom in recent memory and SOTO was nowhere near as bad as that and i want to punch something every time any daily or weekly even mentions Gyala Delve (although i'm still going to appreciate WLB as an epilogue and talk about that later). think i'm gonna start with the good immediate thoughts first

i think the initial release was very good. the new maps and metas were fun, as were the maps being larger than most of the previous expansion maps to make up. the new characters were interesting: although there wasn't really enough time to develop them the same way Dragon's Watch had been for years. it was especially great seeing Zojja as a major character which is why i'm so sad she stopped being relevant after the initial release. i think it would've been better if they wanted this expansion to be like... idk, the Wizard Saga to be built up over a period of like three expansions. it would've been nice to see these characters actually build up over a period of time. make Eparch the final confrontation over a period of three years

like, at first, i fully expected this to be like this. they refer to everything before 2023 as the Dragon Saga. i thought this was going to be a shorter saga of like, 2-3 expansions with a much more concrete goal and narrative direction. we fight alongside the Wizards for a few expansions until Eparch's final defeat and then onto the next grand adventure that would take several years to complete

but ultimately, we just kinda accidentally fell into a big adventure bored out of our skulls after our crystal dragon jesus daughter went into hibernation. we stumbled into something, kicked some ass, and now it's over and we're probably getting another expansion in a couple of months. so i guess... that's the future of GW2. after the grand Dragon Saga, the Commander gets into all sorts of weird little shenanigans that determines Tyria's future and then fucks off to do the next thing no more sagas, just these like, weird singular adventures the Commander has.

the end result is that everyone is severely underdeveloped. there are some fun characters, and i've been joking with my gw2 friends "WE FINALLY HAVE AN INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIP AFTER THEY BAILED ON BRAHAM AND ROX!!!" but like. i liked them. they were cool. i actually really like the Wizards. which is why i'm so bummed it's just over and the epilogue of SOTO it seems set up we're not really gonna do anything for it. i love Frode having a very complicated relationship with the Spirits and how Worm appears to be like... borderline actively malicious compared to most Spirits. i fucking love R'tchikk and Gladium's entire interaction and an unconventional relationship between species and really want to see more interactions. Dagda as one of the last Jotun that truly remember their glory days. so it's so sad to me that like, all these really interesting characters just have their story ended with this. i hope i'm wrong and i see them, but fuck. it's like. i started caring about them, then the next three updates came out and now it's over. dammit.

i also agree the demons are like. they're human society. they're just Regular People no different than Kryta specifically. now i love playing humans in games where you can play multiple races: but like, something that i love about gw2 is how each race has it's own feel, y'know? the humans are a traditional european-style monarchy. the asura are literally an entire race of mad scientists that have a Council so they don't just immediately nuke themselves in a science experiment and their society revolves around research. the charr are an outright stratocracy where the military and government is one and the same and this was explored in IBS where this allowed an insane fascist to rally immense power before IBS went to shit. and the sylvari are literally a new race figuring out WHAT their deal is and haven't quite nailed it down yet

i do not mind at all the kryptis are like not just a hive mind or blue and orange mentality. but i do agree that it is... disappointing that they don't have their own... let's say flavor of society. they're basically just humans but they look weird and live in a weird place. Nayos doesn't appear to be a realm literally made of dreams: it's just the name. the plot of this expansion was mostly like LWS3 but this time we're helping the guerilla rebels instead of fighting them.

idk how to feel about Peitha. it was really fun in the initial release when she was this weird voice in our head we weren't sure if we could trust her or not but she was the enemy of our enemy so she was our friend (for now). but like the demons, she wasn't... complex. she was a very normal stock character for this kind of story. maybe not as heroic or nice as most, but the true good ruler that things will be better if we put on the throne. she' snot bad, but like. she's a dime in a dozen character ultimately. she's the generic good guy we gotta put on the throne and eparch is the generic bad guy we gotta dethrone.

also it was really dicky of them to intentional try to sell the idea of expanded weapon proficiencies and the elite skill weapon unlock for all as like. being part of the base game. you know they worded it like it was part of the base game but you can't do it without SOTO. it's a little bit of a moot point, but it's frustrating.

and i don't know what to ultimately feel now that it's over. because it's over when it feels like it should be beginning. i feel like this episode should have ended with Eparch like... consuming the entirety of Nayos before fleeing deeper into the Mists and the beginning of the journey to find him and defeat him. the kingdom that Peitha wanted to save completely annihilated and the looming concern that much like Kralkatorrik he might become a multiverse destroying threat. i feel like The Midnight King shouldn't have ben the end of the conflict: it should have been the ending of Part 1 of the conflict. like...........

idk. if it was just meant to be this singular adventure: i think i would've liked the entire expansion up front and then an epilogue of WLB to put the final nails on the coffins, and also give time to flesh out everyone else in epilogue stuff and side stories too. but as much as i would've preferred that over this release schedule i feel like. this should have been Part 1. all of this should have been Part 1 of a Saga with this being our first battle against the Midnight King before we after a series of Wizard adventures, tracking him down, and growing stronger finally confront him.

you know there's always been, since GW2's launch, this complaint a lot of people have had with GW2. a lot of people feel like they're never really "the main character" like in GW1. i think at least part of this was rooted in how deeply unpopular Traehearne was in the initial release before they revoiced and rewrote like all of his dialogue. people felt like after the Order Arc that the Commander was kind of relegated to being the support for the actual protagonist. while i feel this opinion has died down since release, i've seen it a lot throughout the years too. a lot of people felt this way when we learned Aurene was basically crystal dragon jesus christ and we were her champion to set the world right. IBS was pretty clear from early on that this conflict would ultimately be resolved by Braham, the norn of prophecy: and it was. the Commander has a tendency to help other people reach their prophesized destinies while they themselves are a person born without particular grand destiny, just someone who was in the right place in the right time and went on to do truly spectacular things (there is a single dialogue in the Hall of Monuments that implies it might be possible the GW1 protagonist was reincarnated as the Commander, but this has never been touched on) and i've... actually come to like it. but this time.

i feel like this time was the only time i've felt it. like. we didn't need to be here. this could have even been Zojja's sidestory. Zojja's big chance to be the hero. we didn't really do that much beyond more of the heavy lifting. we barely did anything substantial beyond hitting things. hell, during the very last battle, we don't even get to speak to Eparch at all. Peitha does 100% of the talking. why was i here? i would've preferred watching like... a netflix cartoon special series about Zojja doing this. why was i here other than the fact i just sorta fell into it??? speaking of which, disappointed Zojja lost all relevance after the initial release. i really wish she was like, fighting by our side the entire time. maybe she doesn't become a Wizard until the very end after doubting it the whole time... like, she's an asura. she's an inventor and innovator. imagine her helping weaken Eparch using a groundbreaking new development in the Wizard's unchanging magic using asuran technology that destroys Eparch's seemingly invincible shield or something and opening the way for the Commander to finish him off.

idk.

i really felt like a side character this time. i didn't see a good reason the Commander is the one saving the day other than awkwardly falling into the plot, and i feel like it could've been resolved by others. and i feel like this could've been resolved by this being just the first part of a grand new adventure, and just like that fateful day over 12 years ago in-universe the Commander was just in the right place at the right time which lead to them saving the world once more. this time... idk. we didn't even get a chance to talk to Eparch. we're just called Wayfinder and Peitha's Champ and do some musclework. hell, we're not even really the Wizard's champion, they basically treat us as a glorified initiate.

idk... it's just. weird, y'know?

i had a lot of fun in the first release, not so much the rest. now i'm thinking of just... what could've been. anyone else feel the same?

(i was gonna go on a larger tangent but i'm tired so "do x events to advance the plot" fuck you fuck you fuck you i HATE this so much)

#guild wars #gw2 #gw2 spoilers #secrets of the obscure #soto spoilers #king of midnight #guild wars 2 #arenanet

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experiment14-12 · 9 months ago

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I'm just gonna go on a rant real quick, on

Why 2021 - 2024 are the Worst Years of my Life

TRIGGER WARNING: May contain references of violence, and illness. The reader's discretion is advised.

Ever since March 13th of 2020, about 4 years ago, the world has gone downhill because of the fear of death. The Coronavirus ruined everything. I'll give you my rundown.

In 2020, COVID kicked everyone's ass. The USA was quarantined for two weeks. Toilet paper was vanishing left and right. Everyone stayed home for what seemed like forever.

In 2021, Friday Night Funkin' became the hot new thing. I made two new blogs. I met @oogaboogaspookyman for the first time, and his actions will forever change how I see things, for the better. My boyfriend moved away to another state, so we had to part ways. My negligent sister (she was living with me, my brother and my mom at the time) whom I will call Jessica, has finally moved out of our house. Things were going great for the first 10 months, but then December 5th came. My mom was diagnosed with COVID. Now, WE had to stay home for 2 MORE weeks. My narcissistic sister (who only had 1 kid at the time) whom I will call Karen, stayed with us. Everyone was trapped in their rooms. I had my own, my brother had HIS own, my sister and her son shared one, my mom had her own, you know the drill. It was kind of cool, staying home for 2 weeks, finally having my own room after a decade of sharing one with at least one of my brothers. It felt like I could do anything without anyone looking. We were quarantined, so why not? Once the quarantine was lifted, it was already Christmastime, and we only had a week to shop. After the quarantine was lifted, I felt my first case of derealization. Words cannot describe how awful it felt. Everything was blurry, but... not blurry... at the same time. It felt like everything was shifting, but not moving. I remembered myself standing in my room, feeling really weirded out and scared that everything was losing its form. Then, it stopped. I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night.

In 2022, Sonic.EXE became popular again. I finally got a Meta Quest 2 VR headset. Karen officially moved in with us. That was her first mistake. She should've just stayed with my drunk-as-all-hell dad who lived next door. I was introduced to Ori and the Blind Forest. I loved it. It became my favorite game. Then, what clicked in my head, verified me as... a furry. That just made matters worse. People at school made fun of/bullied me for being an "EwW fUrRy WhY dOn't YoU cHoOsE a DiFfErEnT pAtH???" I became more violent as time went on. Why are people like this? Why do people call someone out for the stupidest reasons?

In 2023, I was invited to the dark side of the moon. New peeps in the world (and my house) so my two sisters, Karen, and another who I will call Georgia, had kids. Georgia and her boyfriend were driven out of their house by roaches, so they moved with us. Both of my sisters became greedy little shit stains. Now, we have 3 maggots running around the house. I suffered through my second case of derealization. This time, I'm sharing a room with my brother yet again. I hate it. But, I'm sure glad I have a Wii again. My hyperfixation is now Night in the Woods again. We went camping. It was fun. It was... fine...

Now, 2 months ago, my aunt, who I will call Dorothy, passed away due to an overdose. This rocked me to my core. Rest in peace, aunt Dorothy. The house, in shambles. My sanity, running low. Poppy Playtime Chapter 3 came out. I now have a new hyperfixation: the Smiling Critters. Things were not looking good.

It is now March 4th, 2024. I feel like absolute shit. I have too many assignments and projects to catch up on. My life is becoming more and more similar to Mae Borowski's.

I now know how @thelonelyfeline feels.

My life is starting to become the vibes of this song.

#Spotify

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starseneyes · 2 years ago

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Chenford REWIND- Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 2 Ep 10, 11, & 12

This feels like a lot to put into one Meta. But, since I'm chunking these out and taking requests, it makes sense to me. Yes, "Day of Death" is a defining Chenford episode. But I feel like you need the context of what lead up to it and the fallout on the other side to fully understand its impact and discuss it.

SPOILER ALERT: If you don't want to be spoiled, you don't want to read this. While I do write these as though I'm watching the episodes for the first time and try not to let fore-knowledge come into play, I will be spoiling these episodes in their entirety and everything that came before.

All squared away? Alright, lets dive in.

The Dark Side

"The single men in LA suck. Every time I go out on a date, and they find out that I'm a cop, they just get scared off." ... "Look, those aren't men. Those are boys, okay? Real men are not afraid of strong women."

Heck, yeah, they aren't! Lucy, honey, I get that it's tough out there for you, right now. But someday there will be a single man in LA who doesn't suck and isn't afraid of strong women. You'll see.

But right now, you're looking for anyone who isn't a total dud, and I get that.

"...dating a civilian is a bad idea." "I was told dating cops was a mistake. What am I supposed to do, join a nunnery? Sister Office Lucy Chen?"

I'm so glad I wasn't drinking anything the first time I heard this line because there would have been soda everywhere. My husband heard the line over my shoulder and cracked up, too.

And you might be thinking, "Why is she going into all this? Tim and Lucy are nowhere near ready for romance". Welp, I want to show Lucy's mentality in this episode and will explain once we get to 2x11 how it feeds into the situation and the mis-read from Tim.

"Look, no, I'm saying that right now end of shift means leaving the job behind when you go home. But in success, each one of you is gonna catch cases that kick your ass, that consume your every waking thought. And non-cops won't be able to identify. Worse, they're gonna resent you for caring more about the dead than the living."

It's an interesting thought, and for those of us in Season 5, there's a lot to consider, here. I mean, Lucy was cautioned against dating cops, but Isabel and Tim were Rookies and nobody gave him crap about it, from what we know.

Look, I'm not sorry Lucy and Nolan broke up. But, I do think Lucy should consider dating another cop down the line. *cough* Tim *cough*

"Caleb." "Lucy."

It's a chance meeting at the right time. Lucy is on the hunt for a non-mutant man in Los Angeles, and she ends up at the bar with someone who seems semi-safe.

After the conversation she just had with her friends, we can see she really wants to be with someone.

"I was in college when they found the first victims. It was all anyone talked about. That, and how could a woman be so barbaric." "I worked one of the scenes, fourth victim, Lisa Cruz. Homicide detectives warned me not to look at the body. Should've listened."

I love how they're speaking to one another so openly about the whole thing. There's an ease to how they're walking side-by-side that feels lived-in. Yes, he's still her TO, but this is a glimpse at the other side of him—the one that knows how to have a conversation without screaming or scheming.

"Caleb, from the bar last night... I hope this isn't weird, but you left with your perp before I had a chance to ask for your number."

Tim is giving this guy the side-eye. Look, we are nowhere near romance for this pair, but Tim has come to care about Lucy. He wouldn't call her a friend, yet, but they're definitely on their way.

And Lucy's picking up on Tim's hovering, but I don't think either of them could pick up on the why. My husband swooped in to offer his opinion that Tim picked up bad vibes, but wrote it off because it made him look jealous. I don't think he's far off.

I think Tim was being a little protective. Not necessarily because of romance (everything with Isabelle is very fresh at this point). But, while Lucy is still his "Boot", she is crossing that line more and more towards "friend". Tim cares about what happens with Lucy.

He's trying to watch out for her, but she doesn't want a chaperone. For goodness sake, she's a grown woman, right?

"We don't call them perps." "Right, sorry. Anyway, this is my number. If you ever feel like waiting in vain for a drink, give me a call."

Tim Bradford with the save!! He snatches that tiny piece of paper so fast the camera barely catches it. That's a super hero, my friends.

"You got a last name, Caleb?" "Yes sir. Wright with a W." "What do you do? If you say screenwriter, you're going in a cell."

Lucy's horrified. This might be the worst thing Tim has ever done, in her mind.

Remember, at this point everything with Tim is a test. Everything could be used as subterfuge, and she can't trust what's he's going to do with the information he's gathering.

"I manage a medical supply company downtown." "I'm sorry about him. Things are a little crazy right now." "No problem. It was nice meeting you. Officer."

Tim gives her a "can you believe that guy" look, but she has that same energy directed at him. Tim's surprised by that. He really thought she'd appreciate him looking out for her.

She holds out her hand for her piece of paper, and Tim hands it over as she mouths, "Oh my god".

"Ten bucks that isn't even his dog." "It's been an awful day. Can't I just enjoy a cute puppy?"

Tim's getting a look into how Lucy unwinds and relaxes. All day, she's been sneaking glimpses at Caleb's socials to get a feel for him, and it's helping distract her from the no-good day.

Tim of this era hasn't yet learned how to help Lucy talk through things. But he has learned that Lucy and distractions work well for moderating her panic.

Think of the episode with the nuclear bomb and how they spent the whole episode talking about how to sabotage her ex's wedding. Distraction helps her.

"If I can be wheels up in the next 10 minutes, I might beat the afternoon traffic which means I will be in bed in the next hour."

I love how conversational they're being here. You can already tell the lines of TO and friend are starting to blur.

"That's a mistake." "What? Why?" "Look, after working a hardcore assignment like this, you need to go blow off some steam after shift. You know, give your brain a different focus. It's the only way you have a fighting chance of actually sleeping."

This isn't a Tim Test. He's trying to give her advice. Keep this in mind, my friends. It'll come back.

"As my Training Officer, are you saying that I should go get a drink?" "A strong one. Maybe even with another human."

Tim is really trying to do the right thing, here. He snatched away Caleb's phone number earlier, but Lucy's been cyber-stalking him all day and she looks interested.

"Well, I am here to distract you."

I swear I didn't remember that line when I wrote the part above about Lucy needing a distraction.

And we all know that what started as a distracting night led to a nightmare for Lucy.

Before we move on, I want to talk a little bit about Season 2 Tim and Lucy. I know a lot of people love what DOD does for Chenford in terms of progression. But I argue it doesn't cause the shift, but only expedites it.

Look at Tim in this episode, for example. He's downright conversational and friendly with Lucy. Yes, he tells her to get her head in the game instead of looking at Caleb. Yes, he teases her about her first Decomp, but that's the extent of it.

He talks with her openly and honestly about Rosalind. He tries to protect her from Caleb when he thinks the guy's just an unworthy suitor. He tries to give her advice at the end that isn't attached to any "lesson" but simply sharing what he's learned.

Frankly, I think that's what Lucy expected in a TO—someone to talk her through and give her sage advice. And then she got Tim.

Tim doesn't hand out advice willy-nilly. He's a "show" guy, right? Same thing with how he teaches. He's not much of a "talker" with Lucy when it comes to her training. He's trying to get her to think for herself by putting her through her paces.

But this whole episode, he's talking to her. Heck, he's talking with her. Tim doesn't make friends with his Boots, but Lucy is becoming the exception. They aren't there, yet, but they're on their way.

If we look at this episode separated from DOD (if we can), you can see that Tim and Lucy are already moving towards friends. The events of DOD expedites it, I argue, but they would have eventually gotten there on their own. Tim and Lucy are inevitable.

Day of Death

"My day of death."

The pain of a tattoo. The hangover of whatever drugs he gave her. The inability to move her limbs or fight back. Trying to take note of her surroundings, of anything that might be helpful if she can get away.

And that horrible fear that she won't.

"Sergeant."

It takes Harper two seconds to clock the conversation between the men, and she's the first to jump on it. Why? We'll get to that next episode.

"Lucy did not come home last night. She's not responding to texts or calls." "Did she go out with that guy? The one she met at the bar. Caleb Wright with a W."

He remembers it clearly, but he's trying not to panic. After all, his first date with Rachel was *ahem* memorable. Maybe Lucy moves at that same pace?

"Lucy doesn't do one-night stands." "And she's never late."

Her friends know her well, and Grey's smart enough to run with it. Let's be real, there are scenarios where a Sergeant might not listen, might not take it seriously, might not actually do anything.

This is television, and we're not going to let Lucy Chen go quietly into that good night. But it hits me so hard that there are so many cases where alarm bells are rung and left unanswered.

"Why are you doing this?"

Lucy's trying to keep her head in the game. That's what Tim told her to do last episode, right? Keep your head in the game.

"It's for you. To force you to face the truth of your death. It's the gift of something we rarely get in life—clarity."

Fuck you. I'm sorry. Lucy's thinking it and it needed to be said.

"... we believe Caleb is Rosalind's protege, and he took Officer Chen."

The news slams into Tim. And nobody else in the room sees it or knows why. He doesn't even wait to be dismissed. He rushes out of the room, phone dialing before he makes it through the door.

Because this is too much for him to handle. Tim has tried to handle a lot of things on his own. He's famous for isolating himself and trying to pretend he's fine. But this time he calls his best friend. Because he can't do this alone.

"Lucy's been taken. I need you." "On my way."

"Lucy". Not "Chen". Because in his mind, Lucy is already becoming more than a Boot. No, we're not talking romance, here. We're talking friendship. Kinship. Someone he cares about.

Tim Bradford has a very short list, so the fact that his Rookie is close to making the list is significant. But I'm not one who thinks Tim's romantically interested in her all the way back in Season 2. This thing's grown organically over time, though I'd argue DOD gave it a push, as did certain other episodes covered in Future Metas.

"Look, I know I haven't known Lucy as long as the rest of you, but I do know that she's a fighter."

Hell, yeah, our queen is!

"She's gonna do everything she can to stay alive until we save her."

And she does. She fights like hell and does everything she can to survive. But she's weak. She's lethargic. She's drugged. And she's isolated. Utterly alone.

Imagine that moment of fighting your way out, hoping that there'll be someone to hear your voice, to come to your aid, to get the help you so desperately need... and there's no one.

How much of the fight can you keep alive when you realize how little chance you have of surviving?

"... I can't just sit here."

Here's more of a "show" guy. And there's nobody to show.

"I'm fine. Just blowing off steam."

What he told Lucy to do. What he thought would be safe. What he thought would be relaxing. What he thought would be distracting. What he thought would be fun.

He's not blowing off steam. He's a pressurized gasket ready to explode.

"I get it, but you gotta get your head in the game." "I don't need a pep talk." "Then why'd you call me? Clearly you need to get something off your chest."

Tim forgets the power of words, sometimes. We see it a lot through the season. Maybe it's because he never learned how to use them growing up.

FAST FORWARD: We're a ways away from Season 4 and Tim's backstory episodes that help illuminate just how bad it was for him. Tim's father didn't use words. He used his fists. His mother likely didn't use words, either. They didn't talk about what he went through. He never learned to express himself that way. It takes someone coaxing it out of him, and right now that's his best friend.

"She wanted to go home. Okay? Go to bed. I told her that she should focus on something else. She went out with Caleb because I told her to."

And he's carrying the weight of that guilt. It's too heavy for him to bear. Tim Bradford has carried too many weights, and this one is too much. Did he doom his Rookie to die?

"You couldn't have known."

Angela's whole attitude shifts (how could it not?) because Tim Bradford is expressing emotions with his best friend. And that is huge and this whole thing is horrible.

"But I should have. I'm a cop. I was standing this close to the guy, okay? Right across from him and I never saw him coming. But she did, though. She... Some part of her didn't feel right about this whole thing. She hesitated. And I pushed her right at him."

He's wrong. It has to be said that Lucy might not have gone out with Caleb that night, but it could have been another night. Tim only thinks this because of his own guilt, his own pain, his own frustrations with himself for not being Super Cop.

Lucy wanted to go out with this guy. Maybe she wouldn't have gone out that night without the push. But Caleb was a serial killer, and would've put her on his list sooner or later... and more women would have died in the meantime. It's not Tim's fault any more than it's Lucy's.

He thinks he failed Lucy, but this isn't a situation where you can predict every move. We're not going to victim-blame here. We're not going to point fingers.

Because minus the serial killer plot, this shit happens every day. Around the world, there are people whose drinks are spiked, people who are abducted, people who have their choice and consent ripped from them.

And it's not the victim's fault in any way. And it's not the fault of a friend who suggested they have a fun night out. It's no one's fault but the asshole who perpetrated the crime.

Getting off my soap box, here, now, to get back to the Meta. But watching Tim go through this reminds me of how I still struggle with blaming myself for a friend of mine OD'ing because I didn't reach out to them that night.

What if I'd reached out? What if I hadn't ignored their vague Facebook post thinking that I'd only be adding to their frustrations and that they needed the night to cool off? Would they still be here if I'd commented? Or sent them a message? I'm a state away, so I couldn't reasonably drive... but could I have done something that would have meant they'd still be here?

I know I can't blame myself. But there are some days I still struggle with it. Because she's gone. And I'll never ever know if I could have helped. Cognitively, I know it's not my fault. I couldn't have done anything, but there's that part of you that still thinks... you made the wrong call, and if you'd called it the other way, it might be different, now.

"If I get that away from you, it's going right in your brain."

She kept her head in the game. She's up against life and death, here, and she's at the disadvantage. But she's a fucking fighter. Look, we know that Lucy is tough. This is something else entirely. She's staring down the murderer who wants to hear her scream, who wants to soak up her agony, who wants to get her to crumble.

And Lucy Chen's standing up to that asshole with the ultimate, "Fuck You" by not giving in.

She must want to cry. She must want to scream. But Lucy Chen is a fighter, and she's not going down easy.

Lucy Leaves a Clue

It's a long shot. It's such a bloody long shot. But she has to try. Lucy truly believes that she will be found, long shot as it is.

And that hope can be a powerful thing. Caleb tried to wield it against her, but he's no match for her.

"Any last words?" "Yeah. You're gonna be dead long before I am."

Damn right, Lucy Chen. Damn right.

"Now, I am responsible for a life that is in jeopardy, and I will do whatever I have to to save her."

And he means it. Watch Jackson's surprise to see Tim Bradford slam a guy's head against the horn. Because Tim's unhinged, here. Someone he cares about has been taken, and he doesn't give a damn what happens to him or his career.

He'll let it all fall if it means Lucy survives.

FAST FORWARD: We talk a lot about how Tim makes sacrifices for Lucy where his career is concerned. And while in later seasons it becomes their thing, I think in this case he'd have done it for any of his few friends. We later see him risk it all for Angela when she's kidnapped, too. Tim has a separate code for his friends. And Lucy's falling more under it over time. Again not romantic... yet.

"There can be charges in here that lead us to Caleb."

Did you clock that brief smile? Before Jackson walks up, Tim thinks they're at a dead end. Lucy's lost. She's gone. And he'll never get to atone for his mistake.

Jackson brings a sliver of light and hope, and it's enough that Tim actually briefly grins. It's not over, yet.

"Stars shining bright above you..."

The song. Lucy's song to keep herself calm and regulate her breathing. Yes, not talking would have been better, but she needs this. She needs light and life and love. Something bright to pierce the darkness.

Her oxygen is running low, and she's having more trouble breathing, more trouble seeing a way out. The last thing she's going to give that bastard is the satisfaction of watching her scream.

And Melissa O'Neil is breaking my heart. Acting-wise, she is literally in a barrel. There's no one to react off of. There's no one feeding her lines.

It's just Lucy in a barrel, and it's up to the actress to make us feel. No cool camera angles. No sweeping score. Melissa O'Neil had to carry us through this and she did it masterfully.

Yes, the Writers decided to have her singing this song. The script, or a Director or Editor decided to strip the rest of the sound from the overlapping visuals (there's a lot of playing with sound and its impact in this episode that's jaw-droppingly beautiful).

But Melissa O'Neil is the one who has to make us believe it. And we do.

A Glint of Light

Tim's eyes scan the miles of land, looking for some sign of disturbance to clue him in on Lucy's location. But it's something that doesn't belong that grabs his attention—something that literally catches the light of the sun and draws Tim in. Her ring.

He picks it up, still uncertain, but following the clue. A few kicks and... a thunk.

"I've got her! I've got her!"

Tim starts digging in the ground with his bare hands, the grit getting under his fingernails, the dust getting into his lungs. He registers the others, but only barely. He has to get to Lucy.

The ground gives way enough to reach the lid. Tim's hands are all over it, Nyla on one side and Jackson on the other. When they can finally see her, Tim asks for help as they pull her out. But he hovers, staying close, being certain he is the one to make sure she's alive.

Because if she's dead, it's on him.

Look, we know Tim didn't do anything wrong. But Tim Bradford carries a lot of scars and blames himself for a lot of things he shouldn't. And if he can't get to her in time, if he pulls her out and she's truly gone... he can never atone for this.

She's not breathing. Tim blows into her mouth and starts pumping on her chest. The sound drains from the world... just the discordant notes sounding off and echoing like the dying hope of Lucy surviving.

Lucy gasps, and the sound returns to the world. Each person takes a breath of relief. But then the sound zeroes in only on two people—Lucy and Tim.

"You're so strong," he murmurs, soft enough for her to hear, but no one else. But she doesn't hear anything. It's too much. It's all too fucking much. The sobs she'd held in before finally spill out as Tim pulls her close, holding her tight.

He thought he'd lost her. And, again, there's no romance here. But she matters, damnit. She matters to Tim more than he thought she would when they first met. He presses a hand to her hair, pushing his face next to hers.

It screams "I'm here. I'm here." Because in his mind, he is the one who failed her and it had to be him to save her. He owed it to her. He was responsible for her. He fucked up.

And it almost cost her her life.

Again, I don't think that. But Tim does. He truly believes he's the one who failed her. And when you have very few people in your life who care about you (and Lucy has demonstrated many times that she does care about Tim), you don't want to do anything to lose that.

But Tim believes he almost lost Lucy because he wasn't good enough. It plays so much into his childhood trauma, his trauma with his ex-wife, and everything else. Tim thinks he failed.

She doesn't cling to him, no. Her hands shake and her body convulses from the pain. But she lets him hold her there, back in the air, out of her barrel.

Tim isn't her person, yet. But she cares about him, and she knows deep down that he cares about her. She even told Rachel about his good heart.

But her not holding him is completely appropriate to the moment. It's not about him. This is about her. Her trauma. Her survival. Lucy's breaking in this moment. She spent so much time keeping her head in the game, and now she's finally releasing all the anguish she refused to show Caleb.

And she is safe in Tim's arms to fall apart.

I knew from the Pilot that Eric Winter was a tour-de-force. But in this episode we see so many damn layers. And Tim's relief at holding her in his arms at the end instead of cradling her corpse is palpable.

The way this scene is shot and performed and the sound... it all puts us in the moment. We are right there with them, and it's one of my favorite scenes of the entire series.

Here in the barren waste of sand and silence... there's life.

"Hmm. What are you reading, Teen Rebel?"

She wakes up to see Tim there, waiting. He hasn't slept. He hasn't left. We know that. He's spent the past 24 hours feeling completely responsible for Lucy, and it's not easy to leave the side of the person who you pushed yourself to save.

And the first thing she says to him isn't about what she's survived, or even about him finding her. It's about the damn magazine. And it's perfect.

After what she's survived, Lucy needs something familiar. And Tim is pretty damn familiar in her life.

Before we get too much further... I want to call out the lengths Tim went to save Lucy.

FAST FORWARD: We haven't yet reached, "Some things matter more". But Tim's already showing that in action. He's a "show" guy, remember?

Tim was willing to do whatever it took to save her. He would put it all on the line, and that's because he cares about her. No, they're not ripping one another's clothes off. It's Season 2, she's his Boot, and he doesn't even acknowledge friendship with her, yet.

But she is becoming his friend. She's becoming one of the very few people that Tim Bradford will upend the world for.

"They actually have some really insightful political articles."

Watch how fast that man wheeled his little chair over to her side. It makes me giggle with glee.

"Oh, which BTS member is your soulmate. Gotta be Suga, right?" "Totally. What's a BTS?"

Lucy laughs. Probably her first good laugh in days. And it's with Tim. Hardass, Tim Test, never-lets-up Tim.

"Have you been here all night?" "No. Mmhm. No." "Mmhmm."

Because TO Tim can't show that he cares. Not yet. I mean, he's never felt this friendly toward a Boot, and he can't go soft on her when she still has so far to go before crossing the finish line.

Remember, Tim likes rules and staying within them—whether they're the rules set out for him by a superior or the ones he's created for himself. Counting Lucy a friend is outside the lines. But much as he might try to deny it, he's showing it.

He's used to giving his Rookies what he thinks they need, and with Lucy, it's most often tough love and some manipulative tests. For him to break through his own wall of separating personal life from professional life is too much. So, he lies.

But Lucy can see right through him. Strangely, she's always had that power.

"How did you find me?"

Nolan interrupts the moment. Damnit, Nolan! But we'll all get to that later... next episode.

There's a reason I wanted to do these three together. Look, this show is still basically a Procedural at its heart with some continuous story lines. But these three episodes feel more serial than a lot of the show, and because of that, I think the whole picture is required to ascertain its meaning.

"He is a she and she is going to sleep in my bed since I am clearly never going on a date, again."

We started this whole trilogy with Lucy considering a nunnery. And, again, I think this calls attention to what it's like to be a single woman in the world. Yes, assaults can happen to anyone.

But as a woman, I can tell you I never get anything to drink but water when I'm out with my friends. I never leave my drink unattended. And a male friend always walks me to my car. Theater kids go out a lot to bars (like, after every rehearsal), so there was a season in my life where this was a nightly ritual. Trying to stay safe out there.

So, if Lucy doesn't want to ever date again after her ordeal, I don't bloody blame her, and neither do her best friend, past fling, and future husband.

"You hungry?"

Sometimes I swear this man is part Jewish mother. If you Fast Forward in the series, you see he's always trying to feed this woman.

And, yes, I'm saying this from experience. There was an old saying that if you wanted a lot more food from my Great-Aunt Mary, you said you wanted a little. If you wanted a little, you said you wanted none. And if you wanted none, you hid your plate.

"Yeah. I'm starving. You know what I really wanna eat right now?" "Veggie burger and fries. Extra pickles."

Awwwww! Remember in 2x01 when she sent him food? "You shouldn't have done that." "Well, I wanted to. And eating well is crucial to a fast recovery."

He's using the lessons he learned from her as an act of love. Again, not romantic love. But love, nonetheless.

"You know me so well." "Too well."

Look at those smiles. Alright, y'all, I'll admit those smiles put butterflies in my stomach, too.

And the fact that the director chose to take us off of the wide shot so we only saw Tim and Lucy for these last few lines. Because this is about them.

Tim is caring about Lucy far more than he should. And he's growing aware of that. But the nature of this episode makes it impossible for him to shove it down entirely. He writes it off as concern and guilt, and doesn't realize he's been slowly letting Lucy into his circle of friends.

But if we talk about who really knows Lucy in this scene? It's Tim.

Jackson brought pretty flowers, which are nice, but will die. Nolan brought the most giant, pink bear. She's cute, but eventually she'll disappear from Lucy's life because her next boyfriend's not going to want to share the bed with a pink stuffy (unless he's into that... no judgment).

Tim. Brought. Her. Food. Yes, it'll be gone pretty quickly. But I can tell you after not being allowed to eat for both my deliveries of my three kids, I was famished. Lucy hasn't eaten in days, and she wants something filling and comforting. Tim brought her the exact order she wanted without her having to ask.

As much as he tries to separate professional and personal, Lucy's blurring those lines. To me, the Season 1 finale was really the start of that. And Tim bites back against that as much as he can in Season 2 (even treating Lucy like shit because she didn't report him for suicidal ideation).

But this trilogy of episodes breaks down that wall further. Yes, he's still her TO and he's still not going to think of her as a friend. But S2-3 is where that really comes together. They were already on their way, but with these events, he softens towards her in a way he never anticipated.

We get to see him soft throughout the series with "his people". But at this point, he's not yet ready to admit Lucy is one of them. It's outside his standard operating procedure for Rookies.

But, despite his protests, he's making a friend. The kind of friend that sticks. The kind of friend that doesn't leave. The kind of friend that loves with abandon.

And someday, someday, she might become more than that. But right now, he's not even ready to admit she's a friend... but, damn, our "show" guy really showed it.

I really want to call out the coloration and choices of this episode. When Lucy first wakes up on the table (with no establishing shot, so we're as clueless to how isolated she is, just as she is), everything i s tripped back. Melissa O'Neil's makeup is stripped down and we can see her pores.

The first time I watched that scene I thought, "Wow, they really stripped out all the color". There's something about the harshness of yellows, beiges, and browns on their own that evoke old Westerns. That sense of isolation, famine, and drought.

Lucy's world is often so vibrant that the stark shift helps us feel the anxiety with her. There's nothing bright or beautiful about this world. Only de-saturated hopelessness.

Now and Then

Lucy In The Mirror

Lucy's wounds have healed. Her wrists are free of the tie marks. Her face is free of the cuts and bruises. But the tattoo remains. She can hear the sound of the tattoo gun in her mind.

Yes, Lucy has many tattoos, but those were of her choosing. This was another violation—something inflicted upon her. Lucy tries covering up, but the foundation sticks to her shirt.

And, yes, there are makeups out there that can cover up tattoos. Being the daughter of a makeup artist, I know way too much about it and have seen mother in action covering an entire chest full of tattoos for a shoot. That's not the point.

The point of this scene is to remind us (and Lucy) that this can't be covered up. It's on her. It's permanent unless she has it burned off.

"When can she have it removed?" "Four weeks. Two days. Nine hours."

Her mind is on it all the time. She knows it down to the hour. Doesn't sound like someone who's healed to me. But, duh. That's the whole point of the episode.

"Hey, so what's your plan?" "For what?" "Officer Chen. I'm sure you've got some Alpha strategy to get her back on the horse, so, what is it?"

Let's be real. Tim would be Tim, but he wasn't going to be his harshest self on her first day back. He wouldn't be capable of it. But Nyla doesn't know that.

"So basically get her into as many fights as possible." "I'm gonna remind her that she's a cop, not a victim." "She knows that she's not a victim. Look, Chen doesn't need to fight. She needs to make peace with the voice inside of her head telling her she's never gonna be safe again."

I wish someone had asked Lucy. Looking at this situation, they're both coming at it from the wrong angle for Lucy. Tim's going for how he processes and Nyla's going for how she does. Neither of them asks Lucy what she needs.

Look, these are characters who are going to do what's in-character. For the scene and the arc, this has to go this way. But as a person who has had a lifetime of people thinking they know what I need and making it a thousand times worse, I have a personal response to this.

But in character? Both Tim and Nyla want what's best for Lucy and think they're the one to give it to her.

"Okay, I've been training Rookies a lot longer than you. I know what she needs." "That's ego talking. What happened to Chen is every woman's worst fear." "I'm aware of that." But you have never lived that fear."

That stops Tim. Because she's right. Part of Tim's arc in Season 1 and 2 with Lucy by his side is discovering his subconscious biases. She forces him to think beyond what he thinks he knows.

And here, he's facing that even without Lucy present. Because she's opening up his mind to seeing past his own limited perspective.

"It's clear that you have her best interests at heart. I am just asking you to consider whether she might be better served by someone who has been through what she has been through."

This is a lot for Nyla to offer. A woman's experiences are not owed to anyone. But she chooses to give him this insight into why she really believes she's the best person to help Lucy through.

And Tim's listening. He's really listening to what she's saying.

"And that someone's you." *nods* "Okay. I'll tell Grey to make the switch."

I love Eric Winter's choices on this. He's reacting not only to the information that Nyla just shared, knowing that she doesn't want apologies or empty words from him. He didn't do it. But he's sorry it happened. He's face to face with someone in uniform who, like Lucy, thought they were safe with someone when they weren't.

And he's thinking of Lucy. The last thing he wants to do is hurt her, to make this harder, to set her back.

Lucy At Roll Call

She pauses outside the room. Much as she wants to get back at it, this is a point-of-no-return morning. She doesn't want special treatment. She doesn't want weird glances. She doesn't want whispered words.

She doesn't want the damn applause.

"Congratulations you survived but you're branded by a serial killer and still processing the emotional trauma and we want you know that we are all talking about you, and looking at you, and thinking about you."

Damn it.

"Welcome back, Officer Chen. How're you feeling? Can't wait to get on the streets, sir, just get back to normal." "We're going to mix things up a bit. You're going to be riding with Harper this week."

What. The. Fuck!? Lucy just said that she wants to go back to normal. Riding with Nyla is not normal.

Lucy looks back to Tim for confirmation and he nods. But she's still confused. She's on-edge. She didn't expect to come back to work straight into a Tim Test, and that's what this feels like.

Everything that she wanted for transitioning back to work is going wrong.

"I'm not interested in chasing tame calls today."

Because Tim needs to process his way. Look, he in no way went through what Lucy did. Not at all. But he's still carrying his guilt and frustrating, and he needs to channel that into something he can do.

Tim is a man of action, and since he can't take action to help Lucy through her re-acclimation, he's going to do what he needs to do to distract him from worrying about her—his job.

"So why the switch?" "Tim felt you'd be better served riding with me." "Yeah, right. This has to be some kind of elaborate Tim Test that he roped you into." "Do I strike you as someone who could get roped into anything? Especially by Bradford?"

Note the switch from "Tim" to "Bradford". Nyla was trying to keep it conversational at the beginning, but the second Lucy calls out perceived pliability, Nyla snaps back to put Lucy in her place.

"Fair enough. So, I'll ask you again, why the switch?" "I convinced him that I would have more insight into what you were going through and could therefore be more helpful to your re-integration onto the streets."

Look how Lucy recoils. Much as Lucy loves talking things out, she doesn't want to talk about this. She doesn't want to have to think about what she's been through while she's out here. She wants normal.

"Did you go on a date with a serial killer, too?" "Uh, no." "Well, then I'm not sure how much help you'd be. But it's fine, 'cause I don't need any help. I've already worked through the trauma using both cognitive and exposure therapy combined with mindful breathing and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. So, it's, it's fine."

Of course, we know Lucy's far from fine. But this isn't what she wanted. She didn't want to have special treatment. She didn't want to be pulled from working with Tim. Frustrating as he is, he's familiar. That's normal.

And Lucy's gone through all the Psychological steps she thinks will help her be fine. It's her blind spot, truly. Because she seems to think there's a point where you're just "fine" and don't need to process anymore.

No, that trauma will come up, again, we know. But right now she doesn't want to face it. She's trying to pretend her way to being fine.

"Need backup for a felony car stop." "You sure?" "Hell, yeah."

Everyone's surprised to hear her voice. But she wants to get back at it. She doesn't want to feel different. It's bad enough what she has to deal with in her head. At the Station, she's a Rookie, yeah, but she's a cop.

And the more I look at this episode the more it feels like Lucy and Tim have traded spots for a day. Normally, Tim's the one who doesn't want to talk and would rather bury himself in the job. And Lucy's usually the one second-guessing.

But Tim second-guessed himself this morning and let Nyla have Lucy. And everyone wants Lucy to talk, but she'd rather get in the action.

"You want me to do the paperwork?" "Oh, nope."

Tim always has Lucy do the paperwork. She wants to do what's familiar, what's natural, what's practiced. "Please let me be normal".

"That was a nice job out there." "Thanks." "So you're just not gonna let me help you at all." "I don't need any help."

Look, we all know that she does, but not like this. Nyla wants so badly to help Lucy, but if Lucy isn't ready, trying to push her like this isn't going to change anything. It's going to push her further inward.

"Did you get the flowers we sent?" "And the basket. Thank you."

Lucy really has some lovely people in her life. And look at her genuine appreciation for Abigail, here. Baskets are one of Lucy's love languages, and she nailed it.

"What the hell is this? I let you run around with Harper for half the day and you start hugging people on duty?" "Don't listen to him. He's all bark."

Tim is being his grumpy-ass self and Lucy's smiling like the sunshine that she is. This is what she thought she'd have today. This rhythm to which she's already grown accustomed.

Yes, Tim gets under her skin and pisses her off. But she knows him. She's used to him. The Tim Tests come when she least expects it, but she knows to expect that.

While there are many mysteries left to this man, he's been her biggest constant during her Rookie year. And it's nice to get to talk to him.

"All bark? She is not buying what you're selling." "Because I don't hold her fate in my hands."

They're teasing. We're to the point in their relationship where they can tease one another, and you can see how comfortable Lucy is in this.

Apart from the action, this is the most comfortable we've seen her all episode.

"Heard you dodged some bullets." "Yeah, a few. What, are you keeping tabs on me?"

The discomfort is back. Because even Tim Fucking Bradford is acting different around her. There's a softness to him that she's never seen before directed at her. Yes, she's seen it... but not with those eyes directed her way.

"Look, if you need anything, you let me know."

Finally, someone asks what she needs. All day, people (including Tim) have been making assumptions about what she needs. But here Tim is truly putting her first and trying to see if there's anything he can really do.

"You got a time machine?" "I wish I did."

Because he'd go back and take back the decision that fed her to the lion. Yes, we all know it's not Tim's fault. But he still feels like it is. And this is what Lucy really wishes she had—not some remedy or quick fix... that it never happened.

"You're not gonna shower?" "Uh, I'm gonna do it a home."

Because she doesn't want the stares. She doesn't want the questions. She doesn't want the reminder.

She's wearing concealer under her shirt because she doesn't want to see the thing. And she's tired of the comments and special treatment. Lucy wants to go back to normal.

Now, we can already see from this episode that "normal" isn't really possible. Relationships have shifted. Lucy is not the same woman she was before. Yes, she'll open up parts of her that shut down over time, but she'll never be who she was before that night of carefree drinks gone wrong.

But that's what Lucy wants in this moment. Normalcy.

"Oh, but you're not going home."

The hell?! She was just abducted and now you won't let her go home? Sorry, but that was my gut reaction watching this.

"We have plans. Girls' Night." "Oh, I get it. You've seen that I'm find on the job, but you're still not convinced." "We just thought it would be fun." ... "It's... you guys have just never asked me out before."

Think of how happy Lucy was that she was getting invited to something normal!? And with these two bad-ass women!

Lucy spends so much of her time in the first two seasons with Jackson and Nolan that we rarely get to see her with the other women of the Station.

She was going to get to have a night out with two women she trusts—something safe. And she had just relaxed into that when they pulled this shit.

Look, I'm salty at these two. I love Nyla and Angela's my number three on the show. But this was a terrible idea. Nyla was critical of Tim throwing her into work, but she's throwing her into the dating pool.

And it's no wonder Lucy was triggered. She isn't ready to date, again. And that's fine. She should be able to get out there when she is ready.

But we all experience the world through out unique lenses and experiences. And a very real mistake we make is assuming because I need it this way, you do, too.

I have twin sons. When they were 9 months old, a friend handed down a toy to us. You throw a ball into the toy and it makes a noise. Ta-da! One child giggled uncontrollable. They other screamed and broke down in sobs.

Different people react differently. They need different coping mechanisms. They need different healing paths. When we try too hard to homogenize treatment, we miss the opportunity for true healing.

And part of the problem here is the utter lack of communication. Nyla has hinted to Tim what she went through, but she hasn't given Lucy any indication.

Now, Nyla doesn't owe Lucy her story. But she has chosen to help Lucy, and it would be a helluva lot easier to get through to Lucy if she communicated with her.

"Hey, Lucy had a bit of a moment last night when we were out."

Tim. Is. Pissed. Angela can tell that's all it took for him to be ready to go into Tim-Mode on someone's ass.

"It's not a big deal. She's fine." "What the hell is Harper doing?" "Helping. Don't get all 'Tim' on me. I just thought you should know." "Lucy's okay?" "She will be." "Alright. Thanks for letting me know."

Angela is the only one who knows about Tim's guilt. She's the only one who knows the weight he's been carrying, blaming himself for what happened to Lucy. She's the only one to know he has a growing soft spot for her.

So she does the right thing and gives him a heads-up.

And note how it's always "Lucy" when he's talking with Angela in these episodes. With Nolan, it's "Chen" because Nolan is not Tim's friend. But Angela's his best friend, and he can let his guard down a little when it comes to her.

Nyla Shares Her Tale

We already said that Nyla doesn't owe anyone her story. But by keeping it from Lucy, Lucy was pushing her away. She truly thought it was another outsider with outside opinions trying to force her to be okay.

Hearing Nyla's story, she is finally able to see her differently. There's a beat right after Lucy says, "I'm so sorry," where Melissa O'Neil shifts her gaze from cynical to sisterly—Lucy sees herself in Nyla.

For the first time since she's gotten out of that barrel, there's someone who isn't an outsider who truly wants to help.

"I shut down. I didn't even tell my husband. I kept telling myself that I would deal with it when I was ready." "But with every passing week it just got worse." "Maybe I pushed you too hard last night. But I know what it is like when you do not face things head-on."

Look how Lucy has shifted. Because Nyla can relate. Lucy was pushing so hard against her from the get-go that she missed the signs on this.

She was so focused on pushing everyone away and keeping everyone out that she missed that Nyla wasn't another outsider looking in with "expert" opinions on something they know nothing about. Nyla really does know.

"You and Chen are close, right?"

"I used to be inside her on the regular, so, yeah." I'm sorry. I had to. It was the first thing that popped into my head when I watched the scene.

"How's she doing? I mean, really doing?"

Because Tim is in his phase of needing to know how Lucy is, but not being the one "in the know". He's still her TO, and going directly to her for information is outside his code. But he can't help worrying. Lucy matters to him.

"She's good. Really. I think she'll be better once she gets that tattoo removed. Can you imagine that? Walking around every day branding by the worst thing that's ever happened to you? " "You think because it's physical, it's worse? Tragedies always leave scars. Only some of them you can see."

Again, this is about perspective. Some people are visual learners. Some are auditory. Some learn by doing.

I have a weird quirk of my brain that a memory is stronger for me if I can see a photo of it. Yes, I have other memories, but I can almost transport back to the moments in my photo albums since I've had decent memory. Visuals are important for me.

To Tim, it doesn't matter if it's visual or not. But Lucy might be different. Seeing that every day might mean more to her than it does to him. He's not considering that.

Seriously, as a former Communications student (two degrees in it), this episode is a masterclass in personal bias and intrapersonal vs interpersonal communication. In the moments of actual connection there's communication that's clear and concise.

Throughout the episode, everyone is making choices that are complicating matters. They're trying to do what's right, but they're doing it without clarity.

Nyla gets through to Lucy best when she talks to the woman in an open and honest manner. Same with Tim, later.

But, I'm skipping ahead...

A Punching Bag

Remember how I said Tim and Lucy have switched places this episode? In the same place where Lucy once offered Tim perspective (on his learning disability) and a gift (the book on tape), Tim will have his moment.

Lucy wipes her face without thinking, and Tim gets a glimpse of the tattoo. It flusters Lucy as she turns. She doesn't want to talk about it.

He's come down here for a reason. After spending all day asking others about her, he needs to see her for himself.

He wants to say something, too, but he's second-guessing. Ever since he pushed her toward a serial killer, he's been second-guessing where she's concerned.

"You got no quit in you, do you, Boot?" "No, sir. I get that from you." "I don't think so. You walked in the door this way. It's what makes you so aggravating."

He's teasing her. This is their rhythm. They've found it and they've earned it, and she's been stripped from it when she really wanted something familiar.

"I'm taking that as a compliment." "It was meant to be. You have a good night." "Yeah, you, too."

Tim turns to go, shoving his hands in his pockets. As he does, his fingers graze the ring... her ring. The ring he's been carrying around because it's tangible. It's something he can hold onto and remind himself that it's true—Lucy lived.

He turns around, no longer second-guessing. He has something to say, and he can only hope she hears him.

"You know, I got half a dozen scars. Bullet wounds, knife wounds, broken bottle. Then there's the ones you can't see, Isabel's addiction, a dad who would tune me up on the regular. And whether I like it or not, they're a part of me."

I can't remember him talking this openly about the trauma of Isabel's addiction before. But, he's in the Lucy role, today. He's talking things out while she's taking it out on a punching bag.

"I know what you're trying to do. And I appreciate it, but this is different. I was tattooed by a sadist who etched my day of death into my skin." "Okay, but you didn't die. Okay? You lived. And now he's the one in the ground."

Lucy sighs, because here's another outsider telling her what to do and how to feel.

"I'm not trying to tell you what to do with it. Okay? Burn it off, keep it, whatever gives you peace."

That's a little better. Lucy starts listening at that. Because, everyone's trying to push her in a direction, and he makes it clear that that's not his intention. He's not trying to push her to do or be anything.

"All I'm trying to do is give you some hard-won perspective."

If this was Pee Wee's Playhouse, we'd all have to scream because "Perspective" is the word of the day. Because each person's perspective has been an obstacle, today. Each person's perspective has been a roadblock.

But Tim's being very clear that he's offering only that—his Perspective. And, remember, Lucy cares very much what Tim thinks of her. She cares how he sees her. She doesn't want to let him down.

"You can choose to see that tattoo as your greatest failure. But I see it as proof that you're a survivor."

"You're so strong," he'd whispered when she started breathing, again. She might have been too overwhelmed at the moment to ever remember that, but we do. He recognized her strength and ability to survive right then.

This isn't lip-service. This is Tim Bradford being completely honest about how he sees Lucy.

"It wasn't your day of death, Officer Chen. It was the first day of the rest of your life. And no one can take that away from you."

There it is. No, this isn't going to "fix" the pain that Lucy's feeling. It's not going to make the trauma disappear. It's not going to erase the memories. But this mind-flip of that tattoo is powerful.

Because Caleb made her say aloud what that tattoo meant. He told her that it was for her, for her perspective, for her to own up to what he said it meant.

And here's Tim Bradford, a man who Lucy respects and trusts, helping her look at it from a different angle.

And isn't that what Tim does so well? Lucy even calls him out on it later in the show... He's the king at coming at things sideways and seeing another angle.

What he's saying is, "YOU, Lucy, get to decide how you look at that tattoo." She's spent so much time looking at it from Caleb's perspective that she didn't consider there was an alternative.

"Thanks." "Yeah. You're welcome."

Tim shoves his hands back in his pocket, and they both let the moment pass, easily. He said what he needed to say, and she heard him. Now, they can move forward.

"You riding with me tomorrow?" "Yes sir." "Good. Get in early. War bags need restocking." "Okay."

Tim pulls the ring from his pocket and tosses it to Lucy before she can register what it is. As she opens her hands, she sees it—her ring.

The ring she tossed off her hand in hopes that someone would find it. And Tim did. He found it. He found her.

"How did you find me?" Lucy asked from her hospital bed. Now, she has the answer.

Lucy looks up at Tim in awe and surprise. He smiles at the ring at her hand, and then back at her. He'd been carrying it around for a while because he didn't yet have Lucy back. Yes, she was at work, but not riding with him.

Tim once talked to Lucy about finding something tangible to focus on instead of the intangibility of nuclear disaster. Yes, he was being figurative, but I don't put it past him to take it literal. Lucy is back, but not back with him, yet.

Tomorrow, she'll be in his Shop. And now he doesn't need something tangible to hold onto to remind him that she is coming back, because she'll be there. By his side.

This is theirs. Tim told no one how he found her. She told no one that she'd dropped the ring. Only Tim and Lucy know this part of her story... of their story.

*phew* this one was emotionally exhausting. It took a week of work. But, I hope you enjoy it. It's heavier than most, but I think it's earned.

I would argue that Tim and Lucy are already on their way to friendship at the beginning of this trilogy, but the events that happen expedite it, and also solidify their trust of one another.

Tim respects the hell out of her. He knows what she's capable of, and now he's seen it for himself. Yes, he's going to be tough on her, again, when he's ready. And, yes, she's going to be pissed at him, when she's ready.

But only Tim and Lucy know who they are in the in-betweens. When the cameras aren't rolling on their chests and nobody else is listening in—like this ending scene. This is theirs.

And as they move forward in their relationship, there are all these touchstones, these pillars that shifted things that they can look back on as guide posts or stepping stones that at the time seemed small, but proved essential to their journey.

And, oh, I can't wait to see where it takes them next.

As always, thanks for reading.

#Chenford #Lucy Chen #Tim Bradford #Melissa O'Neil #Eric Winter #The Rookie #Meta #tw abuse #tw assault #tw rape

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