#messed up i know and dont care
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Agents Anderson and Casey being very professional ;)
#alan wake 2#saga anderson#alex casey#andercase#i cant get enough of them#i need like one game 3 books a movie abd 400 fics for them#also i just know that it would be saga making the first nove. for obvious reasons#and casey would try to resist only for 1 sec and then its over for him#also i hc that it would happen pretty fast after bright falls#poor david#but if a ship is good i apparently dont mind cheating#like i actively want saga to cheat on her husband#messed up i know and dont care
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#rat speaks#I made a meme guys#thank you tadc episode 3 for giving me the info I needed to complete this#also technically 2brains has probably been like that for the least time but. I dont care he still never got a healing arc he only gets wors#gravity falls#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#fiddleford mcgucket#the amazing digital circus#kinger tadc#simon petrikov#adventure time#wordgirl#dr. two brains#meme#also i know that the bandaid and the hairstreak and the brain are all on the wrong side. i flipped the images. I dont care it looks fine#dont tell me if i messed anything else up#oops I talked too much in the tags
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Hiii everyone, say, how do your Hawkes go go about sharing their estate? If they do it at all? Is everyone free to come and go or are they more private? Or do they only invite their LI to stay? I'm curious!! :)
#lay rambles#my ocs#oc: liam hawke#oc: lilian hawke#both my hawkes are very social w their friends but i love comparing their boundaries around it#theres variation in rules for specific ppl with both of them ofc but theres still general differences#with liam its all very open and everyone can p much come and go whenever#they dont get extra keys (theyll get lost and he doesnt want randos finding them lol) but they know where to find the spare key#and bodhan and sandal and orana know to let them in whenever#hes very lenient in this this regard but he does have rules abt what he does and doesnt want them to do#mostly its about not making too much of a mess lol bc liam prefers to clean himself#(he doesnt trust the crew with his household and also he has particular ways of doing things and Hates when theyre done differently)#so things like keep your dirty garb at the entrance dont cook by yourselves (this was banned after they did it one (1) time lol) etc#also no fucking allowed. do that somewhere else for the love of the maker he does NOT want to walk into that in his own house#(and it also comes back to liam not trusting them with cleaning but also Not wanting to clean that up lol)#also he is not fond of them going into his room uninvited. most of the house is chill but that is *his* space#he accommodates these rules by e.g. having spare slippers and a little washing basin in the entrance hall for dirty shoes/feet#always makes sure to have snacks in stock that he knows they like#food will have notes abt what to leave for leandra/orana/etc but otherwise food is prepared with his friends in mind#and in general he'll make sure to adjust the space/routine in little ways to accommodate them#(air out when fen isnt there cus he doesnt like drafts; keep curtains open cus anders prefers open spaces; etc)#lilian on the other hand doesnt like when her friends come into the estate without a heads up (cept for emergencies)#but once they have her 'ok' its basically mi casa es su casa#dont yknow. overdo it and get too rowdy but otherwise do whatever#however. she also expects everyone to clean up after themselves. she aint here to play maid and youre all adults#also liam has a general 'please try to not be too wild when leandra is here' and lilian doesnt#not cos she doesnt care but cos leandra is bothered by sth she can speak up herself#oh and lilian uses the basement space as temporary refuge for anyone who needs it (mostly escaped mages)#also side note: both offered gamlen to stay but he refused (out of pride/remorse)#...this got long and i ran out of tag space lmfao so this is it for now xD
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Before I go to sleep I leave you all with this piece of advice: sometimes you don't actually have to answer big political questions, sometimes you can just say "I am not smart enough to know that, I just know the small things I do to help." Like you can often times completely avoid making a fool of yourself if you just say you don't know.
#simon says#to explain here and not in a reblog:#sometimes when you try to explain big picture solutions you're gonna sound dumb#you might not have done enough research#you might not have a rebuttal to a counter argument#you might not be articulate enough to explain why you think this#sometimes you gotta take a step back and give the simple solution. the one man solution#you do what you can to fight against the problem#you talk to people to help spread awareness and how to fight the bad problem#and you vote and invite others to vote for bigger steps towards solving the problem#like you can talk about theory and how you believe we need to do a huge drastic thing to solve and issue#but people will disagree and argue til you're blue in the face#they'll poke and prod until you mess up or lose your temper and use it against you#and you'll feel dumb and they'll learn nothing#sometimes the best thing to do is step away from the big picture and just say 'idk what the solution is I just know the things I can do“#sometimes you gotta admit you're not a scientist/expert and you can't answer that#i used this while talking with my Dad tonight#he brought up our climate crisis and space travel as a possible solution#and I said I think that's just addressing the symptom and not the cause and we need to care for our Earth now#and he asked me what solutions I think would fix it#and knowing my incredibly smart Dad who is articulate and ready to throw rebuttles at a moments notice to play devils advocate#and my past experience in struggling in this topic with him before#i just told him I didn't know. all i knew is the little things I can and do do to help#and that hopefully by spreading the word and habits and encouraging others to vote for those bigger solutions I could help make a change#but all I really could do is the little things I have control over#and the topic became much less stressful about the little things we have control over#like planting native plants and recycling and adopting habits that are healthier to our planet#which was 100% more preferable to if I tried to give a big solution. because I would reveal i didn't have all the knowledge needed to argue#and my articulation would make me sound like a stupid kid who only thinks they know what's best#so yeah I basically suggest that if you dont wanna feel like shit after debating someone just step away from the big picture for a moment
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bla bla something about having a high status and heavy responsibilities, never learning how to process trauma or their own feelings in general, barely being able to take care of themselves due to looking after the others because they feel like they must be selfless leaders since they're the most physically capable in recovery out of everyone else after the game (but not mentally), but sometimes it just becomes too much.
they may suck with feelings but they understand eachothers pain
#is this anything at all#i just think theyd get along very very well. neglected rich blondies unite#everything just gets really overwhelming for them i think#they also did really messed up shit as remnants#but arent able to acknowledge it entirely bc they love their friends too much to care#sonia says shes a princess before shes a human so she lives by that duty. even if its gone#fuyuhiko just moves robotically. entirely cold except for knowing he has people to protect now#so he makes it his mission because thats how he's always lived#all while at the same time he and sonia dont really converse well at first#but sitting silently together is enough#bongo art#art#digital art#sdr2#danganronpa#super danganronpa 2#danganronpa goodbye despair#danganronpa 2 goodbye despair#fuyuhiko kuzuryu#sonia nevermind
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"impure regression" it's therapy, impurity came free with your xbox
#while there isnt a right or wrong way to experience age regression#i will say it defeats the purpose if youre not allowing yourself to feel negative emotions#youre nurturing a safe space for yourself!!! you can be sad or angry. sob throw a fit be sensitive over meaningless things thats the point#regardless of if its a trauma response or a way to destress#if its involuntary or not#its for you. you should feel comfortable#idk i just despise the phrases pure and impure regression#i think people fail to recognize that most people experience age regression#“healing my inner child by buying a barbie i wanted when i was 8”#“making myself feel content by caring for my children the way i wouldve wanted to be”#“my hair got messed up today and suddenly i was 14 again”#“i drank a coke for the first time in years and felt like i was 23 again”#like age regression is such#a normal thing#whether its utilized as therapy or not#i feel like things like agereblr and ageregram or whatever have like#dilluted what it means? i guess#i dont know im yapping#merkitty babbles#sfw interaction only#age regression#inner child healing#sfw agere#agere#safe agere#sfw#age dreaming#agedre
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"forever is a bad dad to richa-" SHUT UP!!!!!
#qsmp#qsmp forever#qsmp richarlyson#id also add in the book he wrote for the egg museum where he talked again about forever being the one who took care of him the most#but i dont have the patience to find it in vods to screenshot it#also sorry but. some people on twitter have been stressing me out A LOT over their opinions on their relationship#ive literally been stressing about it since i woke up i needed to release this stress somehow#< also im thinking of doing a long post talk about what their relationship is and isnt#bc whenever theres angst/fight between them people take it as an opportunity to mischaracterize BOTH forever and richas#in a way that makes it clear that the person 1. doesnt keep up with forevers pov#and 2. only knows richas through one pov#like. ok#disagree with forever however you want youre free to do that#i myself think he was in the wrong in multiple situations (like the tallulah fight day)#BUT SURPRISE!! SAYING HES A BAD DAD IS LITERALLY SO WRONG!!#PEOPLE CAN MESS UP!! PEOPLE CAN MAKE MISTAKE!! NO ONE IS A PERFECT PARENT!!#NO ONE ALREADY KNOWS HOW TO BE THE PERFECT DAD AND THERES NO SUCH THING AS BEING A PERFECT DAD!!#PARENTHOOD IS SOMETHING YOU LEARN ALONG THE WAY!!!#AND LEARNING HOW TO BE A DAD IS A CORE TRAIT OF FOREVERS CHARACTER SINCE DAY ONE!!!!!!!#saying hes a bad dad literally goes against canon statements from richas#saying richas is uncomfortable with forever goes against canon#“oh but i mean in the emotional way” ok so you never watched a forever stream before#because when they fight. richas ALWAYS opens up to forever later on how he felt#the fights HAPPEN because richas is comfortable making drama in front of forever#if richas' didnt feel comfortable he would literally just “suck up” his jealously and not show it often but he does shows it often#if richas was uncomfortable after fights he would just apologize and never talk about his feelings#but after the tallulah fight? he told forever about how romero richas affects his body and how he feels#after the armor fight? he told forever about how he felt towards his own life#to which btw BOTH of these times where he opened up#he had never talked about that with anyone before
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grrriaanwwnananannn i tried to make a cool effect but its not really that cool
sorry fo the casual negativity but im going through the craziest art crisis ever and like im completely overhauling as much as i can from my old art style so all i have rn are doodles ahhhh its so frustrating but i feel like i should post somethin anyway just to make me feel better
#dsmp dni#as much as that will help anything#hermitcraft#hermitcraft whatever season honestly#hermitcraft is very long i realized#in the early episodes of grians season 6 pov rn#ive watched it out of order so i mean i finished season 8#if youve seen that one time i talked abt hermitcraft in my tags#u know how scared i am to post any hermitcraft fanart#not because im not proud but because im just scared#minecraft smp fandoms are…. not always the kind of people i want to attract#no shade i just dont have a lot of faith#grian#does this count as a specific grian#i dont know any of the grian lore#or any lore#i really dont care about the lore#theyre just funny guys building cool shit on a big server#grian fanart#hermitcraft grian#i dooonnnt know really#i usually use tumblr tags as like a personal diary but rn im just feeling bitter#I HATE MY ART!!!! I HATE DRAWING!!!#the art crisis is less an art crisis and more an identity crisis#i think im getting on the right foot with my art wnd then i feel like i mess it up?#digital art especially i just hate everything i do digitally#really negative what a debby downer am i right#but nobody actually reads tumblr tags#also its my blog i can be a debby downer on my blog#for archivial purposes obviously
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if the only footage youve seen of the game doesnt actually give you a good idea of what the game/story is like (like its from a parody video or is otherwise heavily edited for example) then it doesnt count as having watched the game and you should pick little to no actual exposure to the game. only interacting with the games content through fanart/fanfic/etc also counts as little to no actual exposure to the game
#okay heres another one.#now that im thinking about it i probably should have put a button for people who arent sonic fans to push#so they dont mess up the results. but again. no room. i used up all the space there was to have as many options as possible#so hopefully people who dont care about sonic will just scroll past this#sonic the hedgehog#sth#sonic forces#sonic polls#anyway ive played sonic forces in its entirety like 3 or 4 times at least . because theres something deeply wrong with me .#(to be clear i havent touched the game in a while. im not regularly playing sonic forces)#as for my opinion on it . there are aspects of it that i like and i admittedly have some nostalgia for the game#but i can also admit that its not very good and there are a lot of things about it that i dont like or wish were done differently#im just not a big fan of the 2010s era of sonic in general if im being honest#feels like not as much care and love was being put into the games as before i dont know how to explain it
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I like thestupid fuckign roblox creature game a lot and I like the Deltarune Chapter 2 final boss robots a lot and
THIS IS SO CRINGE I'M LEAVING FOREVER. GET ME OUT OF HERE
#deltarune#creatures of sonaria#I LIKE THEM BOTH#thwyre both. so fun.#I am moonelle NUMBER ONE fan#FOREVER AND EVER#DONT EVEN CARE.#I DOTN EVEM#GIGA Queen#Spamton NEO#THEIR NAMES ARE WRITTEN LIKE THAT. BTW.#IN CASE YOU DIDNT KNOW.#NOT Giga Queen. FAAAKE FAAAANNNSNSSSNSNSNS#Idont see that many people mess up and not capitalize NEO with Spamton but METTATON. EBERYONE WAS LIKE Mettaton Neo! you fake fans.#/j btw#Imnoy going to skin you if you get it wrong#ramble over#deltarune chapter 2#roblox
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I met people I knew only online for the first time irl last night and I'm still extremely exhausted cause I am not a social person so here. Take an OC.
Katale (Kitty) is wonderful and I love her and she's a criminal and that's fine. She likes to look cute and so whenever I see a really cute outfit in public with a specific vibe, I'm like "Kitty would love that". So here. Please. Please know that I saw this very pretty woman jogging with her hair pulled back, running shorts, and the CUTEST top with a little scarf from the same fabric tied and wow. It was. So wonderful, please have a wonderful day @ the lady I saw jogging yesterday.
#my characters#kitty is so funny to me cause she is absolutely used to a life of crime#shes second in command in a huge group because she actually forfeited the top command spot to her future boyfriend#and now they are exes and besties and she just really likes their criminal crew#and then she adopts a lil agent guy bc hes like a puppy and she is like listen that is my son now you cant hurt him#ANY OF YOU TRY TO HURT MY SON I HURT YOU including you rud my beloved ex current boss#and hes just like okay#and then they become a very weird messed up family of two crime bosses and a good boy#but anyway kitty is the glue that holds everything together and she commits crimes on the side of being nice#like oh sorry im late to get here i had to kill a man#but its also her getting phone calls from rud telling her sorry babe cant show up im a bit gross#and shes like oh yeah dude i get it sometimes blood just doesnt wanna hide :c ttyl smooches ily#anyway she deserves to have cute outfits and no one is gonna tell her otherwise#ALSO for those who dont know and might care shes a weeb she watches so much anime#she just ..... really likes anime and makes rud watch some shows with her during and after dating#he just goes along with it no complaints and he doesnt understand all the appeal#but it makes kitty happy so hes happy
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https://twitter.com/danfetes/status/1712166167572361344
josh says people saying stuff about stef ticks him off 😭 that's the meanest he'll ever get off the field 😭
that was kinda... 😏😏😏
and i definitely know stef feels the same... 😏
" tired of hearing all this nonsense... lot of guys in this league that have that same fire that don't get talked about, but--"
" frankly that kind of ticks me off when people wanna say stuff about him, but... we'll keep that all internal here 🙂🙃🫥."
this is allen at his boiling point omg 😭😭 held back by pr
#reporter: we talked to josh and we asked him a question about y-#stef smirks in Yeah. I Bet You Did. Bitch.😎 we're a two packaged deal. inseparable 😎 (insufferable) im his right hand man. his silly rab-#the sassy pose and the fond smile. theyre so untouchable dramatic ass top of the foodchain powercouple it's Unreal.#WHERE IS THE RPF!?!??!?!????#josh and allen sooooo fucked after this#fucked HARRRRD bro fucked HARD#and they were both soo ready for it like you cant tell me they didnt fuck nasty after this HELLO#we cant always bet on them winning but the fuck nasty is surely guranteed#diggs had the bed all set up with romantic candlelight and roses and josh hurdled over all that shit just to hold him in his arms#josh caught on fire a little bit but diggs patted the flames down before he could notice#all the snow piled up around their home in buffalo could not muffle the 'youre my qb.. ure my qb' pants& moans which shake those very walls#josh '🙃🙃' the hell outta this interview#he said YOU may not understand diggs horrors but **I** DO!!@@! **I** UNDERSTAND. I GET THEM.#the frustration of seeing everyone hate on his husband when he knows all of that pales in how much stef hates himself#AND THAT MAKES JOSHS LITTLE STUNNED FACE ALL THE MORE SAD LIKE. HES SO HURT FOR STEF.#AND HE JUST KNOWS. he KNOWS the public is gonna spin this horribly. make stef the diva they always degrade him as#josh has CONSTANTLY with like a bear pacing around the cracked glass enclosure barely disguised rage#defended stef from misinterpretation and disdained the diva drama so vehemently#so everytime josh messes up or stef messes up or they lose all josh is thinking and feeling is 'im fucking this up for him even more#i dont care if theyre gonna be mad at me. diggs is hurting. somehow some way. diggs is gonna get Hurt.#and i cant do anything but talk. and i cant even do that well.#it's all my fault i cant do anything im so stupid im so stupid'#saint bernard song 1 hour#that single wide eyed stare he gives his wr bcs all he can do is stare as stef's pain surges#it's not fear of stef as the media tries to portray for qbwr tension. it's fear For stef.#he knows theres hurt. and he knows theres gonna be even more hurting. and. the nail. he knows he cant do anything to help it from stopping#'why couldnt i throw better. i need to just run it to lessen the chances. i need to do something. i need to be better. i have to be better'#meanwhile diggs could care less abt what everyone else thinks about him. he just cares abt how josh thinks. about josh#stef wants to perform well so josh can actually feel well. be able to express anything he wants without worry or treading#diggs/allen
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ohhhhmygod im gonna be sick. actually nauseous and i did it to myself - there was a spider on the countertop and i Panicked, grabbing the first distance-killer i could grab. it was a grease cleaner spray. i buried it in the stuff, walked away to recover mentally, came back
it fucking fell apart and dissolved into the cleaner. i both feel horrible and im disgusted beyond words. how the fuck do i get rid of it
#slamming my face into a wall repeatedly#i cant leave it there to deal with after Sleep#bc my cats like to go onto the countertops when no one is looking#and i dont want either of them to get poisoned#but i cant rinse it into the sink with the faucet hose bc there's stuff in the sink#but idk if i can bring myself to do dishes with That next to me#and my fear of spiders is so intense that i Cannot get close enough to take care of it with a towel or somethin#im very good at fucking myself over in various ways!#if i had an appetite id lose it. permanently#what if! instead of dealing with it! i curl up in a corner and cry#except im not gonna do that ive filled my tears quota for the year & doing nothing wont help anything#sorry for venting again i just. ohhhhh this is horrible this is Terrible#if i still had my whacking stick id tape a big wad of paper towels to the end and clean the mess up that way#from a Distance!#absolutely unprompted#i wish i wasnt so terrified of spiders#they scare me So much....#the point of feeling physically ill! and like sobbing! or panicking! and this spider was Big!#i wish they'd stop coming into the house.... i hate killing them but i cant function knowing theyre there#but i can't force myself close enough to put them in a cup and bring them outside#so now i have THAT on my counter. disintegrated spider.#life is too fucking much lately... jesus.... i should really just bite the bullet and get this shit over with#no use waiting a month in perpetual terror unease and guilt. do it scared yk yk#im tired of my chest hurting and not being able to eat! i dont like it! i need change! terrifying horrible change!
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also i watch The Wild Robot the other day and oh my god 11/10, absolutely beautiful in every sense of the word, would cry again 👍
#josh talks#literally i cried several times throughout the movie#i do tend to be a crier when it comes to movies#but i have never cried like. in so many instances throughout#like usually its like a big climatic scene or the endings of things that make me cry#but this movie could hit you hard from the very beginning#anyway i absolutely fucking loved it#hit me in the Autism Feels (tm) and also had Found Family and i always eat that shit up#i NEED a physical copy of this movie#also side note the minecraft movie trailer played as a preview for this movie and GOD is that embarrassing for minecraft#to have that mess shown before the stunning masterpiece that is The Wild Robot#but it also made me Sad about the minecraft movie and what it couldve been again#imagine if the love and care put into the Wild Robot was put into the minecraft movie....#cuz the wild robot was gorgeously animated and had powerful emotional themes (that i doubt the minecraft movie will have)#there was even this preview for this movie called like Dog Man or something?#and it seems to be an adaptation of a book by the captain underpants guy#and even with such a silly premise and presumably having a target audience of young kids#it was animated so charmingly!! it was pretty and oozed personality!#and looking at the cover of the book it seems to have done a good job of adapting the artstyle into 3D while#also polishing it up while still capturing a similar vibe as the original#like dang. i dont mean to insult dog man cuz i really dont know anything about it. but dang dog man got#so much more love and care into it than the minecraft movie seems to have gotten#anyway sorry to derail from wild robot to minecraft it was just so jarring to have that trailer play before this awesome movie#pls go watch it if u can <3#ive been telling people i know that if they decide to go watch it to tell me so i can tag along and watch it again
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wanted to get on here and yap about American Girl for some reason today
I'm far from a brand loyalist, and honestly, I was shocked I didn't grow up with the off-brand dolls you could get at Walmart or Target since I grew up poor until recently when my mom informed me that I would save money up for months and months at a time so that I could buy the dolls, and my parents only even actually purchased one for my birthday once we started to do a bit better financially, and after they saw how much I loved and took care of the dolls
I bought accessories for them myself as well, both from the actual company and from other brands like Target and Walmart ones, and even paid my mom to order me a bunk bed for them off of Etsy or something because I was so distraught that they didn't all have their own beds.
Anyways, I know brands are bad and stuff, and American Girl is not without faults and controversies, but tbh those dolls really shaped me as a kid, like I intentionally bought Rebecca Rubin as my first doll when I was a kid after seeing her in a catalog that we got sent by mistake because she was Jewish and looked like me. I had never seen a doll or character, or pretty much anything at that age who was Jewish like me and looked like me, and she wanted to be an actress, and at the time, I also wanted to act
I took that doll very literally everywhere, half the pictures of me from that age, she's tucked under my arm in a different outfit, her hair as well taken care of as I could manage for being so little. I accidentally messed up one of her curls while trying to fix her hair, and I cried for like a solid half an hour until my mom helped me fix it. even after I got other dolls, all of which I still loved and took care of religiously, Rebecca was the one who came everywhere with me
I'd already been a big reader before that, which is a whole other post, but I devoured those books, and I totally blame them for my current love of learning history and historical fiction. and the different dolls were all depicted as activists and feminists, and do not get me wrong here (I say on the 'taking things out of context' website) they were far from perfect with their diversity and activism, like oh jeez they did some very questionable things sometimes, but for the early 2000s and 2010s? revolutionary
the store closest to me closed a little before my birthday last year. I didn't know that it was even happening, and honestly probably still wouldn't have known if I hadn't been shopping with my friends at that mall like two weeks before my birthday since that was the only day we could all make work. Despite not having touched my dolls in a while, everything was super on sale, and I had been planning on taking Rebecca to college with me, so I figured I might buy her an outfit or something.
while the store was pretty ransacked, I was shocked and, no joke, teary-eyed over how many things they had for different cultures, different religions, and how many little girls I saw in there with big starry eyes looking at a doll that looked like them
I ended up buying a Channukkah outfit, and one of the friends I was with convinced me to, against my nature, let them buy a Lunar New Year outfit for me as well, which almost made me cry again. What really did it was seeing one of the previous Girls of the Year, Corrine Tan. Oh my gosh if they had had her when I was a little girl, she would've gone right beside Rebecca with how obsessed I was with her. I don't think I've mentioned it here before, but as a kid, I LOVED Mulan, and when I went to Disney World and the dress up boutique they had, I was DEVASTATED that they didn't have a Mulan costume. I latched onto her so hard for a very similar reason that I latched onto Rebecca so hard; because even though she wasn't the same ethnicity as me, Mulan was Asian, and so am I. I wore out I think three burned copies of that movie I watched it so often
I'm just weirdly sadder than I expected that American Girl is closing so many stores and not making as many sales I guess. I'm really fighting being a brand loyalist right now, because there are about a million other brands that make super similar dolls that I'm sure little kids all over loved, it's just always stuck with me that they at least seem to care about representation in the stories they make for these dolls
I mean, it clearly impacted me growing up, and I think it was for the better. I remember reading Addy's book being one of the first times I was exposed to the idea of children being slaves because they obviously didn't talk about that in an elementary school in the 2010s. I really just wanted to get all of my thoughts out, I've been thinking about it a lot recently since I took Rebecca to college, and I've now been hearing stories from girls who see her in my room about what doll or what toy shaped them as a child. Very excited to dress her up for Channukkah when it comes around, and tbh I've been looking for more outfits for her online. I just want her to be something I take with me throughout my life I guess. I mean, I took her everywhere when I was little, so it kinda feels wrong not to take her with me on this super big part of my life.
yeah anyways uh, if you had one of these dolls go... idk kiss em on the forehead or something. remind the toys that shaped you that you love them for what they did for you and all that. yap session over
#american girl#american girl doll#toys#childhood#nostalgia#rambles#and yes#I know about the whole controversy surrounding rebecca and her outfits being renamed like a million times#and the whole debacle of some people saying she doesn't look jewish enough#to that one i say if they had made her look more stereotypically jewish people would've gotten on them for that too#dont think there was a way to win that one#because people have said to my face that I don't look jewish and I've got the whole dark curly hair thing going on#thats been said to me by both other jews and non jews btw which is crazy to me#side note#anyone know how to fix curls on an American girl doll#rebeccas unfortunately got a bit messed up and I'm scared to mess them up more trying to fix them#did i literally go to beauty school? yeah#could i probably just look at the wig care part of my textbook? also yeah#but like - what if i fuck it up#Rebecca Rubin#just my ramblings
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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