#merry crisis vine i love you
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christmas horse? :)
merry chrysler
#does anyone even understand that vine reference anymore#merry crisis vine i love you#askbox#i made one of those origami yule goats earlier today and it came out so bad im going to be glad when i burn it on the solstice
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Send this to someone or Repost to wish everyone a. . .
#creative blog#writer blog#artist blog#creatives on tumblr#writers on tumblr#artists on tumblr#creative community#writer community#artist community#meme#vine meme#merry christmas#merry xmas#christmas 2024#merry crisis#happy holidays#i love you all#today is now
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being kyle ‘gaz’ garrick’s significant other would include:
for @itsohh (i tried hehe >:3)
♡ the nicest king sized bed.
your mans sleepin on dirt and wooden floors on duty so he would like to not do that at home. the bed comes with the fluffiest pillows and the softest sheets with a bajillion thread count. you would love to stay awake on your phone for a couple more hours but damn, you think that bed would let you?
♡ quoting vines.
he doesnt understand why you always say “look at all those chickens” in a childish voice while gesturing at the ducks in the park, so you had to educate him. you two say “merry chrysler!” when you get invited to price’s during christmas. you think he wont understand but he replies with a “merry crisis!” and nik just stands there bewildered.
♡ doing the dishes.
he loves to cook but loathes doing dishes. cooking is his comfort thing. he doesnt get to eat well during work, and cooking just brings him comfort. he loves it when you buy a weird ingredients from the supermarket, like, oh! new things to learn how to cook!
♡ receiving memes in your dms even though you are legitimately sitting next to each other.
you asked him why doesnt he just show it to you, you’re literally right there. he doesnt like shoving things in your face. he’d rather hear your supressed laughter or that blast of air from your nose and that is so much better than a forced reaction if he showed it to you immediately.
♡ bath bombs!
kyle loves watching them dissolve, they help him relax and feel safe. would bring headphones if he’s alone or if you’re with him he’d bring back massagers and you get to massage each other as you soak.
♡ helping him with sleep paralysis.
kyle gets nightmarish sleep paralysis that can occur up to six times a night at its worst so youve become attuned to small noises he makes during sleep. a balloon could pop near you while you sleep and not wake you up but as soon as your brain recognises kyle making small noises? you’re wide awake and ready to get him through it. he has vaguely told you what he sees during episodes and you help him by just talking to him about random things and making jokes and quoting vines.
♡ his parents asking to hangout with you.
his parents love you. like. they’d shoo him away if he wants to come with sometimes. its so funny that he gets housesitting duty while his parents take you out. and they spoil you. do you complain about it being too cold in the winter months? sweater shopping. new mini heater. is it too hot during summer? new portable ac unit. kyle has joked that you should complain more often to get free things from them but you genuinely feel bad for accidentally saying things sometimes.
♡ taskmaster and the great british bakeoff
he loves seeing people try to problem solve. and loves it even more when they find loopholes in the given tasks and do something unexpected. his favourite from taskmaster is when rhod gilbert tying alex horne to a chair when the task to be ‘the slowest to be untied by alex’ and he had tried to better and then perfect victoria coren mitchell’s bloody mary muffin :3
(he also watches big fat quiz of the year like soap but doesnt follow it yearly, and loves to joke around with soap saying “oh nooo!” like the mitchell brook primary school children on base.)
#kyle gaz garrick x reader#kyle garrick x reader#gaz x reader#call of duty imagines#call of duty#scuffed writing
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Inside out Christmas vine quotes
1.(Envy opens the present she got from Pouchy, and it was an avocado. She pretends to like the present to not hurt his feelings).
Envy: An avocado. Thanks...
(It shows Pouchy sticking out his tongue out as his pupils go in the opposite direction from each other).
2.(Pouchy is floating in front of a giant Christmas tree).
Pouchy: Happy Crimus... It's Crismun... Merry crisis... Merry Chrysler.
3.(Nostalgia opens her gift to find cute Christmas socks)
Nostalgia: Why, thank you.
Anxiety: What do you think?
Nostalgia: I love them...
(Nostalgia is shown walking around in her new socks).
4.(Fear is trying to be charming. He's wearing a fancy Christmas suit and is doing a snazzy dance to L is for the way you look, but he wasn't watching where he was going and ended up hitting his face against the wall).
5.(Joy finishes decorating the tree).
Joy: Y'all come look at the tree. I just got done decorating.
(The tree begins to shake. Joy takes a closer look and gets attacked by a squirrel).
Joy: Ah!
6.(Sadness is at a store shopping for the others' Christmas gifts. She comes across a singing Frosty toy. She presses the Frosty toy's hand, and it's starts dancing while singing Frosty the snowman until it falls off the display and onto the floor. Luckily, it didn't break).
7.(Embarrassment is preparing to wrap the presents he got for the others up).
Embarrassment: OK, I can do this.
The narrator: Two hours later.
(Ennui walks into Embarrassment's room to see how the Christmas wrapping was going for him).
Ennui:(concerned) Are you OK?
(It shows Embarrassment has somehow wrapped himself in chritsmas wrapping).
Embarrassment: Call 9-1-1!
8.Joy: Anger, ask me what kind of tree I have.
Anger: No.
Joy: Anger, ask me what kind of tree I have.
Anger: No.
Joy: Please, just ask me what kind of tree I have.
Anger:(annoyed) What kind of tree do you have?
Joy: It's a Chris pine.
(Shows the tree having a picture of Chris Pine on it).
9.Disgust: Toss me my keys.
(A Christmas tree is tossed into the scene next to Disgust).
Disgust: I said my keys.
Anxiety: I thought you said Christmas tree.
Disgust: Why the fuck would I say Christmas tree!?
10.(Anger and Patience are at a store, Christmas shopping. Anger comes across a bunch of little snowmen who repeat what is said to them).
Anger: Hail Satan!
Mini snowmen: Hail Satan! Hail Satan!
(Patience is laughing in the background).
Merry Christmas, everybody!
#inside out#inside out 2#inside out joy#inside out sadness#inside out anger#inside out disgust#inside out fear#inside out anxiety#inside out ennui#inside out embarrassment#inside out envy#inside out nostalgia#ocs#pouchy#Christmas
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if anyone's wondering, yes, i am writing each and every one of my 100+ mutuals a one liner no one asked for. in case either of us dropped a thread, here's a chance to start again! feel free to do whatever you want with the post made for you! you can reply to it or ignore it, but know that you can always come up to me with a storyline or just do a random starter / send a random meme! i'm all for it and i love you! as we say where im from, crăciun fericit or merry crisis, bless the vine era.
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Please keep telling me all the songs that you guys listen to as accompaniment to Merry Crisis, because it's so INTERESTING to know you guys' soundscapes/soundtracks to the game.
As you know, I've got a whole ass MC x Qiu playlist, though I did select a few specific songs to listen to while playing.
Tree ||| by McCafferty durring any Qiu Scene, I've already told you my stance on this song.
Photos from When We Were Young by Nana Grizol is also a good song for Qiu scenes!
First Love/Late Spring by Mitski and All Too Well by Taylor play often (I've played a few times okay)
From my MC's personal playlist...
Family Reunions by Human Petting Zoo for the chirstmas dinner.
THANK YOU!!! You're always coming in clutch with good songs.
MY FAVE on the list is Photos from when we were young from this batch :D It really captures the nostalgia of looking through old photos from childhood/teenage years.
Excellent excellent song and I've added it to my personal July playlist, so, thank you again. Like, it's the kind of song I'dve liked to write if I (a) lived somewhere with "redwoods and raspberry vines" and (b) could write songs.
Nobody asked, but I've quoted my fave part of the song:
Some sweet recollection of redwoods and raspberry vines (YUM) Boys you wrote postcards to numerous times The uncertainty then, like some sentence of sin Punctuated by moments of tenderness When there were long conversations, sharing of beds Walks home from swimming pools Giddy, impressionable, the distance grew up like the night (YUM) Decisions were silence or preemptive flight Yeah, the queer kids I knew, we did tend to be shy
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"Merry crisis." [Steven] ;; @silverjetsystm
iconic vines prompts ;; accepting
People would always surprise her - it's why she loved people. The more she saw, the more she tended to like humanity. Though she knew it was rather the opposite for most of her fellow heroes and vigilantes.
She couldn't say she knew them well, but you could always pick up on things couldn't you? And Wanda bit her bottom lip slightly, trying to refrain the amused smile from spreading across her features before he spoke. Because no one could do stressed - happy, excited, annoyed, angered - as well as Steven. That much was something she had learned.
"You know what? That's rather a good greeting from you," she responded, arms folding across her chest before one arm reached up and she tapped her chin as though thoughtful. A little hum as she mused before sending him a warm smile. "What's a crisis to one is adventure to another. Or gain. Is this a crisis you would like a SOLUTION for? Or just to VENT? For you, I'm here for either." ...Though she supposed she'd hardly turn anyone away when they had a crisis.
"You should start doing yoga with me. Your blood pressure must be through the roof. You need a relaxing exercise." She was joking, truly, though she tried to keep her expression deadpan or firm as she spoke - though the smile at the end maybe gave it away. "Merry crisis, Steven. I'm sure whatever it is, you can handle it. So come on. Is this a crisis that coffee will help, or magic?"
"Though, I hope it's not something that will drag on? I was hoping to ask if you'd like to be my gossip partner again. Another gala. I do not plan on attending this one if it's by myself. What a bore-fest...." A slight scrunching of her nose, shake of her head. Not that she wouldn't give to charities or towards the arts. But she could do without being dragged into the weird world of big parties she knew nothing about.
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vines i need 2 quote more
road work ahead? uh, yeah, i sure hope it does!
hurricane katrina? more like hurricane tortilla!!
a potato flew around my room before you came
WHEN WILL YOU LEARN THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES?!?!?!?!??!?
i'm in me mum's car broom broom
i smell like beef
hey my name is trey i have a basketball game tomorrow well i'm a point guard i got shoe game
mother trucker dude that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick
i'm washing me and my clothes
i don't have enough money for chicken nugget
ha ha ha i do that
can i get a waffle? can i pls get a waffle?
there's only 1 race...the human race WHAT ABOUT NASCAR?
and they were roommates OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES
i wanna be a cowboy babeyy
do it for the vine
staaaahp! i coulda dropped mah croissant
oh hi thanks 4 checking in I'M STILL A PIECE OF GARBAGE
happy crimus..... it's crismun....merry crisis. merry chrysler
get to del taco. they got a new thing called freesha… free… freeshavaca-do
chris IS THAT A WEED?! no this is a crayon- I'M CALLING THE POLICE 911 whats ur emergency
two bros chillin in a hot tub 5 feet apart cuz they're not gay
so i'm sitting there BBQ SAUCE ON MY TITTIES
look at all those chickens
oh mah gawd i love chipotle
FUCK YA CHICKEN STRIPS
i didn't get no sleep cause of y'all, y'all not gone get no sleep cause of me
I WANT A CHURCH GIRL THAT GO TO CHURCH AND READ HER BIBLEEEE
mrs keisha? mrs keisha? oh my fucking god she fucking dead
how much did you pay for that taco? aight, yo, you know this boy got his free taco
so no head?
i am SHOOKETH
that is NOT correct
what are THOOOOOSEEEEEEE
anything for u beyonce
um i've never been to oovoo javer
WHAT THE FUCK IS UP KYLE
ah fuck i can't believe you've done this
there is only one thing worse than a rapist. A CHILD no
hi welcome to chili's
everybody say colorado!! I'M A GIRAFFE
i brought you frankincense. thank you. i brought you myrrh. thank you. mur-dur! JUDAS NO
ADAM!
ily bitch i aint never gonna stop loving you bitch
come get yall's juice
so you just gonna bring me a birthday gift on my birthday to my birthday party on my birthday with a birthday gift?
honey, you've got a big storm coming
i like turtles
deez nuts HA GOTTEM
iridocyclitis
oh i like ya accent where you from? i’m liberian. oh my bad. *whispering* i like your accent
go ahead and introduce yourselves. my name is michael with a B and i’ve been afraid of insects my entire- stop, stop, stop. where? hmm? where’s the B? there’s a bee?
dad, look, it’s the good kush this is the dollar store, how good can it be?
wow an avocadooooo thaaaanksss
THIS BITCH EMPTY YEET
jared, can you read number 23 for the class? no, i cannot what up i’m jared i'm 19 and i never fucking learned how to read
hey i'm a lesbian i thought you were american
ooooo he need some milk
it is wednesday my dudes AAAAAAAAA
give me your FUCKING MONEY
what the fuck richard
why are you running WHY ARE YOU RUNNING
whoever threw that paper, YOUR MOM'S A HOE
lebron james
i'm just cooking pizza *FUCKING FALLS*
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merry chrysler everyone here's a cute little scene with Loki!
Imagine going with Loki to watch as they light up the huge christmas tree downtown
He’s initially not into the idea, but seeing how excited you are about it, he caves
When you get there, all wrapped up in warm layers, he’s weirdly quiet
You’d expected a few snide remarks or at least some light teasing about this “pointless Midgardian tradition”
But when you turn to Loki, the look on his face makes your breath catch in your throat
He looks lost somewhere between sadness and a quiet wonder as he takes in everything around him
You can’t help but smile at how misty-eyed he’s gotten
And when they finally light the tree? You have to clamp a hand over your mouth to contain your giddy laugh
The look of quiet wonder on Loki’s face catches you off-guard and you can’t help the urge to wrap your arms around him, squeezing him tight in a hug
To your surprise he chuckles and hugs you back, planting a kiss on your temple
You offer to get a warm drink for the two of you, but he only holds you tighter, telling you there’s time for that later
The two of you stay like that a while, holding each other while you look at the lights and people watch
When the crowd starts to thin out, you head back to your place, curling up in a blanket together, warm mugs in your hands
You lean into Loki’s side, kissing him on the cheek as his arm wraps around you
He lets out a contented sigh and you smile to yourself
You burrow further into his side, Loki not even bothering to hide his smile as he lightly runs his hand up and down your arm, encouraging your eyes to close as you fall asleep
#loki x reader#loki fluff#loki x you#loki x y/n#loki headcanons#mcu imagines#mcu x reader#marvel imagines#I just want to hug Loki ok#the man deserves some peace#and a really good nap#I'm love him your honor#can't stop thinking about that vine#happy crisis!#merry chrysler!#habby crimmis!#following loki around quoting it at him#he is confused but still laughs#his favorite human is so strange sometimes#but he loves them so it's ok#didn't really have a direction for this#just a cute scene I couldn't get out of my head today <3
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Idk what this would really count as???? But which of the jjk lads do you think would be down to reenact iconic vines with their crush—
I LOVE VINES SO TSYM FOR THIS QUESTION, I’m sorry I took forever to respond lmao but jjk lads who are most to least down to reenact iconic vines with their crush would be... (lowkey just the vines who I think radiate the same energy as them though)
GOJO SATORU. No questions asked, if you tell him you want to reenact it, he’ll be all up for it. Would totally go the extra mile just to make it as accruate as possible. I can definitely see him wanting to do the, “Hey Darren,” “Sup bitch,” “Stop.” “Bitch.” “UGH.” Oh and plot twist, you’re the Darren. Satoru won’t pass up at any chance to moan like a little bitch. also, HIGHKEY I can see him doing the “so no head?” vine and just stomping the skateboard LMAOOO
INUMAKI TOGE. Listen, listen. I know Toge doesn’t talk that much so he’s REALLY into social media. Boy keeps a whole ass folder of vines just so he can watch them again and again, and when you finally ask him to do it with you, he’s more than happy to. But ofc, this is the vine it will be. You, Toge, and Yuuji will also happily do the “it goes around the world la la la” vine during 3am LOL. Oh and one last thing, IF HE COULD SAY IT, I can totally see Toge wearing Maki’s skirt but instead of going TAKANA! he’s like, “Hi, welcome to Chili’s.”
+ bonus for Toge: if he’s home alone and he knows he can’t harm anyone, he’s going to get on top of his counters and just goes, “LET’S FREAKING LOSE IT. GET OUT OF YOUR MIND!”
ITADORI YUUJI. He’s so down for pretty much anything, he’s so happy to do things with you! But also he’s pretty airheaded sometimes (I’m sorry lol) so he doesn’t even realize you’re lowkey making fun of him when you guys do the, “Hey Jared, can you read number 19?” and Yuuji proudly goes, “No, I cannot.”
+ bonus: You and Yuuji are out holiday shopping when he whips out his phone and goes, “Happy Krismes. Marry crisis. Merry Chrysler.”
Not a dude but KUGISAKI NOBARA. She’s the queen of vines. She literally knows all the lines and 11/10 could cite it from memory. So when you ask her to recreate some vines with you she’s like, “duh, of course I’m down.” The vine I can see her recreating is the, “hey, what’s on your face?” and she goes, “UHM, BEAUTY?” or, “When there’s too much drama ass at school, all you gotta do is, walk awayyyyy~”
+ bonus: Nobara, vine recreation or not, anytime a man steps out of line she would do the, “So you’re just gonna bring me a birthday gift to my birthday party on my birthday?” “Happy Birthday!” you know what happens next.
MAHITO. I’m sorry for this one, but I headcanon Mahito is a crackhead. He’s up for the idea and even enjoys it maybe a little too much. When you put both hands in prayer, you say, “Our father,” Mahito would deadass say, “Our daddy.”
OKKOTSU YUTA. I feel like he’s a pretty shy guy, but once he’s grown comfortable with you, he’ll start opening up to new things and try out fun stuff like recreating vines. And meanwhile, you’re just trying not to laugh as you video a greasy haired Yuuta staring at the meme of shoving blankets under his feet on a computer and he goes, “Haha, I do that.”
FUSHIGURO MEGUMI. Okay, he’s not really recreating the vine with you because I headcanon Megumi is uncomfortable with people taking photos and videos of him, but Toge has his camera whipped out as you’re walking side by side without bending the knees, Shawn Mendes’ Stitches guitar intro playing in the background and the camera pans to a really disappointed Megumi shaking his head and just giving up on life.
bonus for Megumi: he takes out a crucifix while his Divine Dogs are summoned and goes, “the power of Christ compels you!”
RYOUMEN SUKUNA. Similar to Megumi, he isn’t that fond of having a camera pointed his way, but when you held up a product to him and goes, “Dad, it’s the good kush,” Sukuna just deadass responds with, “This is the dollar store. How good could it be?”
Honestly I have a lot of vine ideas for all of them so if you want a longer and more chaotic conversation about that, hmu anon!
#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jjk headcanons#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen memes#gojo satoru#inumaki to/ge#itadori yuuji#fushiguro megumi#ryoumen sukuna#kugisaki nobara#suki: scheduled
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iconic vines for the nostalgia my dudes ... sentence starters
“Merry crisis.”
“I can’t swim.”
“I smell like beef.“
“That was legitness.“
“Come get y’all juice.“
“Chipotle is my liiiiiife.”
“He needs some milk!“
“What are thooooose?”
“Hi, welcome to Chili's.”
“What the FUCK is up??”
“(Name), is that a WEED?”
“That’s why you’re my bud.”
“It's a avocadooo... thanks.”
“Look at all those chickens!“
“And they were roommates!”
“I wanna be a cowboy, baby!”
“Bitch, I hope the fuck you do.“
“I brought you Myrrh... Mur-dur!“
“’Pretty cute’? I’m a GODDESS.”
“I'm a bad bitch, you can't kill me!”
“Oh my god, they were roommates!”
“How much did you pay for that taco?“
“Lipstick? In my Valentino white bag?!“
“You try’na fight? Hold my breadsticks!”
“A mug shot? I don't even drink coffee.“
“Stoooop! I coulda dropped my croissant!”
“Who opened that? Devil car! DEVIL CAR!”
“What's better than this? Guys bein dudes.“
“Girl, you're thicker than a bowl of oatmeal!“
“I burnt my entire house to the ground, so…”
“This is the dollar store, how good can it be?“
“I look good in black and I’m willing to suffer.”
“Can I get a waffle? Can I please get a waffle?“
“What the fuck, is this allowed? Is this allowed?”
“I don’t need no degree to be a clothing hanger.”
“Road work ahead? Uh yea, I sure hope it does.“
“I don't have enough money for chicken nuggets.“
“My resting heart rate registers as a panic attack.”
“I’m an adult. I do grownup things. Independence.”
“So, I’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my titties.“
“I thought you were bae… turns out you’re just fam.”
“Mothertrucker, dude, that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick.“
“I love you, bitch. I ain't never gonna stop lovin' you, bitch.“
“Oh, hi. Thanks for checking in. I’m still a piece of garbage!”
“I ate half a stick of butter… for breakfast. So, it’s pretty bad.”
“This is your space, this is your area, she can't do that to you.“
“Two brooos chillin’ in a hot tub, 5 feet apart ‘cuz they're not gay.”
“My liver says ‘Thank God’, but my heart says ‘please… not yet’.”
“All these ghosts, ALL these ghosts… and I still can’t find a boo. “
“What up, I'm (name), I'm 19, and I never fucking learned how to read.“
“Go to Del Taco. They got a new thing called freesha-freesha-vaca-do.”
“Be whatever you wanna be. If you wanna be a dog... RUFF. You know?"
“Welcome to Bible Study. We're all children of Jesus... Kumbaya my looord.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t see you there. I was too busy, hmmm, blocking out the haters.”
“Next time you put your fuckin' hands on me, imma fuckin' rip your face off, bitch.“
“When will you learn? When will you learn that your actions have consequences!?“
“Why the fuck you lyin’? Why you always lyin’? Mmmm, oh my god, stop fucking lyin’!”
“I’m not a cake face. I’m an ice cream cake face. Under this thick cosmetic frosting, is my cold interior.”
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can i request the boys as classic vines from back in the day? sometimes i miss 2014 man 😔✊🏽 in my head kuroo & bokuto made them all the time😩
ajlsdfjk YES OF COURSE!! this is really chaotic and i spent WAY too long on it
also quick warning that most of these aren’t clean lmao
haikyuu characters as vines
→ HINATA: oh my god he on X games mode
→ KAGEYAMA: he needs some milk
→ YAMAGUCHI: mother trucker dude, that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick
→ TSUKISHIMA: i’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me
→ TANAKA: what the FUCK is up, kyle? no, what did you say? step the FUCK up
→ TANAKA to KIYOKO: i love you, bitch. i ain’t never gon stop loving you... bitch
→ NISHINOYA this bitch empty. YEET
→ TANAKA, NISHINOYA, & YAMAMOTO: *moving in sync* it’s all around the world just la la la la la
→ ASAHI: aa. aaa. AAAAAAAAAAA
→ SUGA: so i’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my titties
→ DAICHI: miss keisha? miss keisha? oh my fuckin god, she fuckin dead
→ KIYOKO: “has anybody ever told you you look like beyonce?” “nah they usually tell me i look like shalissa”
→ YACHI: “i’m lesbian” “i thought you were american”
→ TAKEDA: is there anything better than pussy? yes, a really good book
→ UKAI: “dad look, it’s the good kush” “this is the dollar store, how good can it be”
→ OIKAWA: when there’s too much drama at school, all you gotta do is walk awaAaAaAay
→ OIKAWA & IWAIZUMI: oikawa: so basically, what i was thinking was um *iwaizumi punches him* aw fuck, i can’t believe you’ve done this
→ IWAIZUMI: what’s better than this? guys bein’ dudes
→ HANAMAKI: happy crismus. it’s crismus. merry crisis. merry chrysler
→ MATSUKAWA: we all die you either kill yourself or get killed
→ TERUSHIMA: so no head?
→ FUTAKUCHI: it’s britney bitch
→ AONE: hi my name’s trey i got a basketball game tomorrow. i’m point guard, i got shoot game
→ KUROO: *nae naes to heart and soul*
→ KENMA: completely giving up. starring Me, Me, Me, and introducing Me
→ LEV: hurricane katrina? more like hurricane tortilla
→ KUROO & BOKUTO: two bros chillin in a hot tub, five feet apart ‘cause they’re not gay
→ BOKUTO to HINATA: hi. i’m renata bliss and i’m your freestyle dance teacher
→ BOKUTO: what up i’m jared i’m 19 and i never fucking learned how to read
→ AKAASHI: ... good evening
→ USHIJIMA: “who’s the hottest uber driver you’ve ever had?” “um i’ve never been to oovoo javer”
→ TENDOU: there is only one thing worse than a rapist. boom. a child
→ ATSUMU: on all levels except physical, i am a wolf
→ ATSUMU/OSAMU: hey everybody, today my brother pushed me, so i’m starting a kickstarter to put him down. the benefits of killing him is that i would be pushed way less
→ ATSUMU and OSAMU: *atsumu shoots gun* osamu: “this is why mom doesn’t fucking love you”
→ OSAMU: can i get a waffle? can i please get a waffle?
→ ARAN: they ask you how you are and you just have to say that you’re fine but you’re not really fine
→ SUNA: “and they were roommates” “oh my god they were roommates”
→ KITA: country boy, i LoVe yOu... blehh
→ SAKUSA: “you know what? i’m about to say it.” “say it.” “i don’t care that you broke your elbow”
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu hcs#hq hcs#haikyuu#hq headcanons#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu reactions#haikyuu headcanon#request.filled#philia.headcanons
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Merry Crisis
Pairing: hockeyplayer!jungkook x pickpocket!reader
Themes: smut | fluff | sports!au | christmas!au | yyy... action?
Word count: 12k
Summary: During a casual meeting with friends at a local ice rink, a handsome boy bumps into me. Though it was just a small accident, a series of extraordinary adventures follow, helping me realize I should really change some of my life choices.
Warnings: tooth-rooting fluff | jungkook is the goodest boy | jungkook, hoseok, and jimin are hot hockey players | ice rink injuries | violence | pickpocketing | alcohol consumption | improper babysitting | namjoon, jin, and taehyung are of different age | questionable choices | teasing | graphic scene descriptions | police questioning | vanilla smut | thigh riding | unprotected sex | jungkook says like one (1) dirty line
A/N if you get uncomfortable during this story, just stop reading. it gets weird later on. Also, sorry for posting it so late, it’s still Christmas somewhere!
4 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS
“What the hell are we doing here?” Kibum asked for the tenth time as he nearly slipped, even though his hands were glued to the railing. “None of us can skate for fuck’s sake,” he remarked, not being careful enough to watch his tongue, letting children hear his foul language. “We should’ve gone drinking mulled vine instead of this nonsense.”
“Speak for yourself. I am a decent skater,” I argued, though it was maybe my third time on the ice rink. The surface was slippery, yet I was brave enough to try my luck without sticking to the railing at all times.
Whoosh!
Kibum and I turned our heads around to see a few men racing on the rink like lunatics going probably at least two thousand miles per hour. They were skating so fast we barely could get a blurry image of their backs – fucking show-offs.
“Can you believe it? Fucking road hogs wanting to kill us all,” Kibum complained, searching for an exit with his eyes, desperate to get the hell away from the ice rink. “I’ve seen enough TV to know how this ends. Someone is going to leave this paddock with a blade in their neck,” he added, and I cursed in disgust, trying to erase the vivid picture my mind conjured.
“You really can ruin everything, can’t you?”
“Isn’t why you brought me here in the first place?” Kibum challenged, readjusting his woolen scarf around his neck in a fabulous diva manner. “Come on, go get Yeri. I’ll wait on the bench,” he ordered, clumsily escaping that icy trap.
“I think your cousin wouldn’t appreciate me going over there,” I stated, spotting her on the other side of the rink, flirting with a cute guy. “Now, that would be so cruel,” I added, leaning over the railing, staring at Kibum ineptly wobbling to the bench.
“What?” Kibum barked in an over-protecting manner, looking for the unworthy punk wasting Yeri’s time. “Just bring her here, please. I’m gonna treat you to lunch.”
“You should’ve said that earlier. I’m on it,” I said, content with how much I stalled the conversation to get a free meal from Kibum for completing such an easy task.
Having pushed myself off the railing, I made my way towards Yeri. She was basically at the opposite end of the ice rink, so I was forced to skate around lovely-dovey couples in the rhythm of overhyped Christmas songs.
Halfway there, the DJ ordered changing directions, so with a loud groan, I obediently turned around. Unfortunately, one of the speeding men didn’t halt quick enough and smashed right into me, ungracefully knocking me into the ice.
Crash!
It was a painful fall for both of us. If it wasn’t for the beanie with a big fluffy faux ball at the top of it, I’d most likely end up in hospital with a third-degree concussion and possible skull fraction.
Though I was in a mild shock, I could feel a nearing headache and blood dripping down my chin after his forehead collided against my nose. With his knee sharply boring into my thigh, I whined, trying to push him off of me.
At this point, I didn’t care about his injuries. He was the one who bumped into me in the first place; he deserved all the pain he was experiencing. Hopefully, it was similar to mine. According to Newton’s third law of motion, he ought to feel the same amount of pain, and if he sensed it any less, I was about to become livid about the lie I had been told at school.
“Get off of me!” I yelled, once again trying to shove him to the side. Huffing in defeat, I accepted my death by freezing my ass off due to a motionless pile of muscles lying on top of me. “Dude, move,” I tried again, and the man winced, sliding to the side.
“I’m so, so sorry,” he whispered, whimpering in ache. “Are you okay?”
“Been better,” I remarked, trying to sit up. However, as soon as I was in a sitting position, I started to feel dizzy – the surroundings just kept spinning in front of my eyes.
“Oh my God, are you okay?” Two men and Yeri scared in unison as they made their way towards us. “It was quite a fall,” one of them added, making me roll my eyes. His friend literally smashed me off the ice like a bulldozer – I wouldn’t call it a fall.
“She’s bleeding,” Yeri mentioned, looking for a bag of single-use handkerchiefs to give me one to aid my problem.
“How many fingers do you see?” the other man leaned over, showing me his palm, and I swatted his hand away with an angry hiss. “You’ve hit her bad, Jungkook. Good luck apologizing to her,” he commented, making it really difficult for me not to kick him in the shin with the blade.
“Is this a joke to you?” Yeri challenged the man, not particularly enjoying his comment. Attagirl! “You better make yourself useful and carry them off the rink,” she ordered sternly, her voice laced with concern.
“Hold on, beautiful,” the shorter one said before he bent to pick me up and wrap his arms around my shoulders to carefully escort me out of the ice rink. Slowly, we staggered to the benches where the man helped me sit down. “I’m Jimin, and you are?”
“In a tremendous amount of pain,” I replied, massaging my head, trying to ease the throbbing. I was about to get a headache of a century, and they kept asking me these stupid questions.
“I’m fine, Hoseok, put me down,” the man, who had smashed into me, complained as his friends dropped him at the bench beside me. “I’ve been through worse,” he groaned, and I gritted my teeth, trying to stop my instinct to cause another scene.
Thankfully, I’ve got Kibum, who would channel his inner Karen to argue for me.
“You stupid fucks, look what you’ve done!” Kibum yelled, hitting Jungkook in the back of his head, making everyone gasp in shock. “What were you thinking, skating this fast? You’re lucky she didn’t end up with a blade stuck in her throat, or else, I’d have to murder you!”
“Guys, stop shouting,” I whispered, barely withstanding the pain. “Can we please go somewhere quiet?”
On cue, Kibum and Yeri went to get my stuff. At the same time, Jungkook’s friends walked away from us to get their belongings, leaving me alone with the villain himself.
“I’m really sorry,” Jungkook apologized once again, being considerate enough to volume down his words. “Come on. Let me help you,” he stood up, offering his hand to escort me out of the tent. Unwillingly, I grabbed his palm, allowing him to save me from random shouts of joy and repetitive Christmas hits.
Once outside, I felt a little bit better, but it was still far from perfect.
“How are you feeling? Should I take you to a hospital?” Jungkook inquired as he looked into my eyes, trying to detect any lie.
“Nah, I’m good. I think I’ll just walk it off,” I shook my head, trying to stand up to demonstrate my current state. Unfortunately, I was still a little bit shaken after the fall, almost collapsing onto the ground. “On a second thought, I’m gonna sit here for a while,” I added, sheepishly, experiencing an unfamiliar feeling of helplessness.
In silence, Jungkook and I started at each other, unsure what to do or say next. We were just two strangers who participated in an accident. Our friends were nowhere to be found, giving zero fucks about the uncomfortable moment between us.
“Should we exchange numbers?” Jungkook suddenly asked, making me crease my eyebrow in confusion. What did he need my phone number for? “When there’s a car accident, both parties exchange contact info to work out a settlement,” Jungkook explained, and I sighed, trying to digest what he just said. Apparently, he wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. “Please, don’t sue me,” he added with a light-hearted giggle to his tone as he sat down on the bench.
“I didn’t plan on doing that, but since you’ve mentioned it, I’ll think about it,” I teased, reaching into my coat’s pocket to get my phone. “Give me your number, I’ll ring you,” I muttered, carefully typing Jungkook’s digits into my device. After a few seconds, Jungkook’s phone vibrated, flashing my number.
“Under what name did you save me?” Jungkook asked in curiosity, looking over my shoulder, cackling when he read totally suing this guy on the screen. “Well… at least you didn’t save me under do not pick up the phone, so that’s a relief,” he added, laughing at his joke.
Though I was a little bit curious how Jungkook saved my number, ultimately, I decided not to entertain this impulse. After all, the chances of him actually calling me were slim, if not none.
“What’s your name?” Jungkook asked, but before I managed to give him a proper reply, Kibum shouted it loud and clear from afar. “Duly noted,” he added with a tiny grin.
Along with Yeri and Jungkook’s friends, he made his way toward us, having the guys carry all our stuff like indebted servants.
“You’ll never guess,” Kibum stated, plopping on the bench beside me. At this point, I wasn’t in the mood for charades, so I just rolled my eyes, failing to accordingly react to Kibum’s attempted suspense.
Thankfully, Yuri chimed in, revealing the big plan. “We’ve talked to the guys, and they proposed to treat all of us to dinner. The race was their idea, so they figured it’s one way to make it up to you for you know what,” Yuri explained, and I sighed.
Hooray!
That’s exactly what I needed, to spend more time with the asshole that slammed into me with the force of a hundred horses.
Perfectly splendid.
“Sure, that sounds amazing,” I replied through gritted teeth, staring at that cheap bastard Kibum. He owed me dinner, so he used his sly manipulation to guilt-trip these naïve boys into treating all of us for a meal.
“See? I told you guys she doesn’t hold grudges against people who provide her with food,” Kibum answered, not surprising me all that much. I was accustomed to his ways. Jungkook, Hoseok, and Jimin, on the other hand, were about to get exploited to Kibum’s heart’s content.
But hey, free food, there’s no way I’d say no to that.
Fifteen minutes later, we were walking down the alley, looking for a restaurant or a diner that was able to provide a table for six. Unfortunately, luck wasn’t on our side.
It was a long stroll. All establishments were either packed with people, or they simply weren’t capable of catering for such a large group like ours.
We didn’t give up, though. In pairs, we walked further, our stomachs growling louder and louder. Hoseok and Jimin were leading the way, chatting about some hockey game somewhat this week. Right behind, Kibum was giving a lecture on relationships to Yeri, being the highly unnecessary third parent to her. And lastly, there was Jungkook and me, awkwardly trailing behind all of them, talking about nothing in particular, unable to find a ground topic for a proper conversation.
At some point, a man in an expensive black coat bumped into me, smashing his shoulder against mine. It was quite a powerful collision on the sidewalk, resulting in me falling right into Jungkook’s arms.
“Hey, watch where the hell you’re going,” I yelled, massaging my limb to ease the soreness, while the man didn’t seem to pay any attention to my angry shout.
“Hey, you should really apologize,” Jungkook hollered at the man, standing up for me. Unfortunately, the man didn’t reflect his misbehavior even after Jungkook stepped in. He barely turned his head around to check what that was about, dismissing it a few seconds later.
“Let it go; he’s not worth it,” I wrapped my hand around Jungkook’s shoulder, stopping him from confronting the rude asshat. “Karma is gonna get him,” I added with a smirk upon my face as I imagined how much cash he had in his wallet – which, in fact, was at the bottom of my pocket right now.
It ought to teach him a lesson.
“It’s your unlucky day,” Jungkook admitted, feeling sorry for my misfortune.
“Well… it’s not that bad,” I assured Jungkook with a happy beam, realizing my mistake the second the words left my mouth. Fantastic, I was just enthusiastic about the cash I found lying all over the ground. However, now, Jungkook must’ve thought I was into him.
Dear Lord, save me from this misunderstanding.
Before Jungkook managed to question my ambiguous comment, Jimin and Hoseok shouted. Apparently, they found a restaurant with a large enough table to fit us all.
At last!
Once inside, we quickly sat down, ready to skim through the menus. Honestly, we were all hungry way past the I-need-my-food-tasty stage, so we decided to order two giant pizzas and six pints of Christmas Ale beer.
“I think we should play a game before our food arrives,” Jimin proposed as he looked at the people by the table, not appreciating the awkwardness. Within Jimin were two wolves – one was a social butterfly, and the other was a people pleaser. Sitting in an uncomfortable silence irked him immensely. “How about a little integration, anybody?”
“You have to excuse him,” Hoseok interjected, trying to calm the angry crowd of grownups. “Jimin’s going to be a counselor on a hockey camp during the winter break, and sometimes, he forgets he’s not talking with middle-school pupils.”
“You’re never too old for some good old bonding,” Jimin fought his case, really keen on getting to know us better. “Especially over some beer,” he added when the waitress walked up to our table with our beverages.
Though none of us wanted to participate in Jimin’s fun activities, we eventually gave in, realizing his persistence was even more energy-draining than the bonding games themselves.
The rules were simple, you had to name three finds you love and three things you hate. Jimin went first, and it was actually quite funny to see the contrast between him and Kibum, who was the second to speak up.
“I love Mexican food, horror movies, and money,” I confessed when it was my turn, having no regrets. After all, we would never meet again. “I hate banana milk, wireless earphones, and doing laundry,” I added, completing the horrid task, making everyone at the table grow silent. Cocking my brow upward, I asked, “what?”
“Nothing,” Hoseok replied, still trying to comprehend the situation. “It’s just unbelievable.”
With each syllable that rolled off Hoseok’s tongue, I knew less and less. What the hell was going on? Could somebody explain to me what the fuss was all about?
“Basically, Jungkook loves all the things you hate,” Jimin finally explained, making Kibum cackle in entertainment.
“Ooh-la-la, the plot thickens,” Kibum snickered, laughing loudly, kicking his head backward.
“Ignore him. He’s just being a drama queen for no reason,” I interjected, ignoring Kibum’s ridiculous reaction.
“Guys, look, the food is ready,” Yeri said in excitement upon seeing our waitress walking toward us with delicious pizza in her hands. “I am so hungry,” she added, rubbing her hands together, licking her lips with appetite.
Thankfully, the rest of the evening went smoothly. After the beer and the food, the conversation sailed without any disturbance, everybody chiming in once in a while. A friendly atmosphere surrounded us, but we all felt it was the first and final meeting. Our groups had completely different vibes, and though we had somewhat fun, there was no point in forcing this friendship any further.
In an amicable mood, we parted ways.
Having dropped Yeri at her dorm, Kibum and I took an Uber to our shared apartment.
“I am dying,” I complained, stretching my arms as soon as I walked through the threshold of our comfy place. Having hung the coat, I fished out the stolen wallet. “I deserved a long bath,” I added, plopping down onto the couch, looking through the content of my newest possession.
“You really have to stop doing that. You’re gonna get caught one time,” Kibum mentioned as he sat down beside me, tearing the wallet out of my hands, browsing through the loyalty cards, looking for a bargain. “When did you even steal it? I was by your side the whole time,” Kibum wondered as he found a coupon for a free coffee amongst the plastic cards.
“You know what they say,” I started, counting the cash in my hands – almost two hundred bucks, not bad. “The first million is the hardest and is meant to be stolen,” I finished my thought, putting the cash into my purse.
“First of all, nobody has ever said that,” Kibum argued, groaning. It wasn’t the first time we had this conversation; at this point, we had this pep talk rehearsed to perfection. “You’re pushing your luck here. One day you’ll pick the wrong pocket.”
“What do you want me to say? I can’t stop now,” sighing, I replied. Maybe in the future, once I land a stable job with an adequate wage, I’ll quit. In this economy, it may be quite challenging, but that’s the goal. Right now, I was as poor as a church mouse, barely getting by each month on my level of living.
“I’m gonna be so pissed if the police catch you,” Kibum complained, giving up on his daily lecture. Trying to convince me was a vicious circle. Kibum felt as if he was trapped in some lame remake of Groundhog Day, only failing at knocking some common sense into his friend’s stubborn head.
“Take it easy. They won’t,” I mused with a light-hearted smile. “If you’re forgotten, you’re like super old. You’ll get bald if you keep worrying so much.”
“That’s a low blow,” Kibum mentioned, frowning in annoyance. Ever since he reached the dreadful thirty mark, it was his biggest insecurity. “Alright then,” he carried on, ready to attack me with just as strong jab. “What about Jungkook?”
“What about him?”
“You’ve had a moment.”
“What moment?” I inquired, pretending to be way clueless than I really was. “If, by moment, you mean that he basically nailed me into the ice, then yes.”
“You should’ve given him your phone number,” Kibum commented casually, and I turned my head around, avoiding his gaze. “Oh my, you actually gave it, I knew it,” he realized, looking right through me. “Finally, you need some. Later on, maybe he’ll talk you out of your bad habits,” Kibum carried on, blabbering nonsense.
“Don’t you think you’re getting way ahead of yourself?” I questioned, folding my arms over my chest. “I guess Jungkook’s a good guy, but he ain’t gonna call me.”
“You never know,” Kibum reasoned, and I sighed, walking away to the bathroom to run myself a relaxing bath, which was all that I needed.
3 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS
It was a terrible day.
First of all, I was still a bit sore after the ice rink accident. Then, I tried strolling along the bustling alleys, picking a few pockets. Unfortunately, people didn’t carry that much cash.
Having stolen three wallets, I only collected fifty bucks.
That was pathetic.
Sighing, I decided to call it a day.
Kibum would be so proud of me, I thought as I made my way to a random coffee shop, wanting to accidentally lose one of the wallets. That way, the rightful owner would have a chance of actually finding it if he decided to trace back his steps.
On my walk of shame back home, my phone randomly stopped playing music. Instantly, I furrowed my eyebrows, trying to fish it out of my pocket, knowing there was an incoming call waiting to be answered.
Normally, I’d either ignore it because I knew it was a spam call or just ignore it because I preferred texts to calls. Whoever opted to dial must’ve been devil’s spawn. No doubt.
Totally suing this guy.
Hmm… what does he want? I wondered as my thumb hovered over the answer icon on the screen. I wasn’t serious about suing him; it was just me teasing the poor guy. I didn’t actually mean it, and I thought it was obvious.
Before I managed to make up my mind about picking up the phone, Jungkook must’ve given up and hung up. Unfortunately, right when I was about to put it back in my pocket, I received another incoming call.
Totally suing this guy.
“Hello?” I asked, picking up the phone. Hopefully, he would check up on me and end the conversation. It was weird and uncomfortable, so it better be the last time.
“Hi, it’s Jungkook,” he said, sounding somewhat shy and timid. “From the ice rink, how are you feeling?” Jungkook inquired, and I sighed, getting mentally prepared for my reply.
“I’m better,” I answered shortly, not giving him any details on my condition. It was just a few bruises; I wasn’t dying. “Your knee left a bruise, but in a few days, I’m gonna feel all good,” I added, remembering the large mark on my thigh. It looked like a big ass hickey, but that’s the comment I was about to keep to myself.
“I’m really, really sorry,” he spoke through a tumult on his side of the call. He must’ve been in a crowded place, like a locker room packed with fellow hockey players or something. A second later, I heard a noise of shutting the doors close, assuming Jungkook must’ve left the room, wanting to continue this talk without any further disturbance.
“Don’t worry, I’m fine,” I reassured that he cared so him. It was adorable much about my condition, but it was starting to feel a little bit excessive. A regular amount of repentance would be understandable, but he was quite over the top.
“Actually, it’s not why I’m calling,” Jungkook admitted, taking me aback. Why else would he call then? “It was just an excuse,” he added, and I genuinely started to wonder what was going on inside his head. He didn’t want to ask me out, did he?
Nah, it didn’t make any sense.
Get a grip, woman.
“Oh, why are you calling me then?” I challenged him as I couldn’t wait any longer for the big reveal. “What is so important that couldn’t be a simple text?”
“Well…,” Jungkook started, and I smiled, hearing in his tone that he was beaming. “To be completely honest, I really suck at texting. One time, I texted back my friend after a few months, so yeah, I’d rather call,” he explained, and though that’s not my preferred way of communicating, I found it adorable.
“Nobody’s perfect.”
“So, I was wondering if you’d like to hang out,” Jungkook asked, and I became speechless.
“Really? Why?” I questioned as I couldn’t find any reason why Jungkook would like to meet up with me. Yesterday, I had been grumpy as fuck – it was hard to believe he wanted to see my face ever again.
“What do you mean why?”
“I wasn’t particularly nice to you yesterday,” I admitted, looking down at my feet.
“You were just angry, it happens,” Jungkook claimed, once again surprising me – he wasn’t just good-looking. Besides his gorgeous looks, he, most importantly, was a kind, soft-spoken person with a heart of gold.
“Yeah, but still, I was an asshole.”
“No, it must’ve been that spur-of-the-moment kind of attitude,” Jungkook brushed it off without my thought, and I sighed in relief. Thankfully, he didn’t think I was a complete bitch. “I would be pissed too if someone tackled me down at a public ice rink.”
“Could we please stop talk about it?” I proposed, willing to put it all behind us.
“Sorry,” Jungkook apologized sheepishly, and I giggled, shaking my head, unable to process how adorable he was. “So, back to the topic, I was wondering if you’d like to come to that charity hockey game tomorrow,” he trailed off, a little bit insecure about my answer. “And after that, we could grab some coffee. I mean, if you don’t have any plans, I’d really like to meet up,” Jungkook added, sounding like a ball of a blabbering mess.
“Hmm… tomorrow, I am busy in the morning and early afternoon. What time does the game begin?” I questioned, buying myself more time to think over Jungkook’s proposition. He was a good guy, and I’d love to hang out, but I still had doubts.
“At three o’clock!” Jungkook exclaimed in excitement, probably hoping I was available to attend this charity event. “We’re raising money for a winter camp for kids from St. Paul’s orphanage. That’s the one Jimin’s gonna volunteer at.”
Now, there was no way I could say no.
“I should be free by then,” I answered, hoping I wouldn’t regret my decision later on.
“Fantastic, see you tomorrow,” Jungkook exclaimed happily, and I giggled at his enthusiasm.
“Ayo, Jeon, what are you giggling at?” Someone in the background hollered, teasing Jungkook. Though I thought it was cute and playful, Jungkook must’ve felt so embarrassed that he hung up before I managed to say my farewell.
2 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS
According to Jungkook’s instructions, the charity game out to start around 3 in the afternoon. A bit too early if you ask me, but who am I to judge the authorities who organized it? Nonetheless, I put on a nice outfit (effortless though chic) and made my way to the university’s stadium, ready to sit through the entirety of the game, already suspecting it wouldn’t appeal to my preferences. It was far too brutal to be enjoyable.
I had no interest in hockey, nor even knew the basics; however, Jungkook wanted me out of all people to support him. Normally, I’d skip, but there was just something about him that made it really difficult to say no to him. There I was – on university grounds during the holiday break, heading to the sports department where I had never stepped my foot willingly.
It was a charity event our university annually hosted. To be completely honest, it was the first time I heard of it. Moreover, there was a high chance I wasn’t the only one. Right in front of the entrance, there was no queue – I was the only one, and it was suspicious as fuck.
Unless I had first-hand info about the beginning of the game, I would just turn around and leave. However, Jungkook had specifically said 3 p.m., so I walked up to the entrance, seeing a man distributing tickets. He must’ve been one of the volunteering students. Admirable.
With a deep sigh, I pushed the doors open and entered the building. “One ticket, please,” I spoke, pulling out my wallet to pay for the entry fee. It was all for charity, so I gladly paid up the round sum. These kids really deserved a treat, and I’d love to contribute.
“You’re the first one to arrive; you must be a hardcore fan of our hockey team,” the friendly man said, and I just giggled at this obvious misconception.
Me? A fan? A hardcore one at that? Wow.
“I wouldn’t say that. I’m here to support a friend,” I answered, denying the accusations with a casual response. “Where should I go?”
“Right this way, the first doors on the left,” the man answered with a happy beam. “Seats are not assigned, so be free to sit anywhere you like,” he added, and I bowed, thanking him for the directions. Though I was near graduation, I had no idea how to move around the building.
Having pushed the heavy doors open, I made my way to the bleachers.
A few players were skating across the ice rink, while the area for spectators was empty. As if that wasn’t awkward enough, all the players looked at me, whistling like a bunch of starved wolves. What the hell was that all about?
Ooh! Ooh!
“Wow, Jungkook, this girl really came,” one of the boys, probably Hoseok, shouted loud enough for me to hear. What? Did Jungkook talk about me with his teammates? What for? Or did they listen to us chat on the phone the other day? Even so, what’s with the reaction?
At first, I wanted to turn around and run away. I didn’t like the way they looked at me. It resembled a combination of concern for their younger teammate and playful support for whatever was about to stem between us. Ridiculous!
Then, I considered sitting in the last row, ignoring their curious glances. I’d probably pull a book out of my bag and devote myself to the plot for the duration of the game.
Unfortunately, none of my ideas seemed to be possible – especially not when one of the players with number 1 written on the sports uniform skated toward the railing. It must’ve been Jungkook. I mean… who else would that be?
Once he took off his helmet, I realized that my suspicion was right. It was indeed Jungkook with his messy, sweaty hair and a goofy smile upon his face. He was waving at me, enticing me closer to the ice rink.
“You really came,” Jungkook whispered when I walked up to him. “I really doubted you did,” he added, and I rolled my eyes at him.
“If I didn’t, you would keep calling me,” I answered playfully, still unable to comprehend how, on earth, he preferred calling to texting. It was ridiculous; he couldn’t be that bad at replying as he had claimed. “And also, why am I here this soon? Where is everybody? Care to explain?” I asked, my tone slightly laced with anger.
“Did I really say 3 o’clock?” Jungkook inquired innocently, staring at the big clock on the scoreboard. “My bad, I fucked it up, sorry,” Jungkook apologized, but I suspected his words weren’t entirely genuine. Apparently, he wanted me to come this soon, and I had to figure out why.
“Also, care to explain why your teammates stare at me like that,” I questioned, cocking my eyebrow, looking past Jungkook’s shoulder. The hockey team really seemed to be invested in what was going on between Jungkook and me, and I didn’t like the way they were gawking at me as if I had two heads growing out on my shoulders.
“Oh, I might’ve got caught talking to you yesterday,” he mentioned as if I didn’t already suspect that. “Apparently, I looked like an embodiment of teenage crush, and they keep teasing me about it. I am sorry if they creep you out,” Jungkook explained, and I beamed, thinking it was actually pretty cute.
“They’re your friends; that’s what friends do.”
“Hey, Jeon, quit flirting and get your ass on the rink. We’ve all gotta warm-up,” the coach hollered, urging Jungkook to return to his teammates. Though it was just an out of the season game, their coach didn’t want to lose anyway.
“Good luck, Jeon,” I whispered, shooing him away from me, really trying to give him a chance for a proper warm-up before the match. “Don’t let anyone tackle you down. It’s not that pleasant,” I added with an encouraging smile.
“I got it,” Jungkook spoke, sending me a cute wink.
Just as I asked him to, Jungkook skated away, only to come back around ten seconds later.
“By the way, you’ve got any plans after the game?” Jungkook asked, waiting for my answer with utter impatience. “I thought maybe we could grab something to eat.”
“Well… that depends,” I replied, and Jungkook cocked up his eyebrow.
“Depends on what?”
“Ask me again after you win the game,” I teased, giving him some extra motivation to try his best on the rink. “Go, they’re waiting.”
And with that, Jungkook finally got his head in the game.
The coach shouts tips and occasionally scolds players that aren’t on their best performance. In the meantime, people fill up the seats on the bleachers, excited to see the match and open their wallets for the laudable cause.
By the time the match finally begins, I am bored out of my mind. I gave hockey a fair shot, but it didn’t raise my interest in the tiniest bit. It just wasn’t my thing.
Thankfully, I had a newly purchased book in my bag to pass the time. It was just a Christmas themed erotica with a half-naked Santa with a six-pack on the cover. It wasn’t anything promising, but the holidays were around the corner, so maybe it’d put me in the right mood.
Though I didn’t have high hopes for the novel, it felt disappointing. The plot was cliché, and the pace was too rushed, but nonetheless, I’d still choose it over a hockey game. Contact sports weren’t really my thing, especially when it was giving me PTSD.
From time to time, my eyes would locate Jungkook on the rink. He was really out there, showing off his talents, making people gawk in admiration. He was one of the best players in his team, scoring goal after goal. Or whatever they score in hockey.
It was an even match, but ultimately, our team won by two points.
“On children’s behalf, I’d like to thank everybody for coming,” a woman in smart clothing spoke through the microphone. It must’ve been the orphanage director showing her gratitude for all the money they had managed through the ticket sale. “My heart really melts when I see how many people decided to help our children, especially in this difficult time of the year,” she recited, putting the microphone away from her mouth before a grateful tear rolled down her cheek. “Thank you so much!”
Shortly after, she handed the microphone to Jungkook’s coach.
“Hi, everybody, I’m coach Min,” he introduced himself, and the spectators clapped their hands in gratitude for leading the team towards victory. “I’d like to thank everybody for donating the money. I hope the kids will enjoy their winter break,” he added, looking at the crowd, proud of so many people gathered to support the cause. “However, if you’d like to contribute, even more, my team will wait outside with boxes. With this extra money, we would like to buy Christmas gifts for these amazing kids. I wish you all – Merry Christmas.”
Another round of applause echoed among the walls before people slowly started to head towards the exit. Taking my time, I followed the crowd, looking for Jungkook. It was difficult; people were feeling generous today.
“Over here,” I heard somebody call my name, so I turned around, recognized Jimin. He was standing a few meters away with a heavy box stuffed with cash. “Would you like to make some children happy?” Jimin asked, placing the box right under my nose, wanting me to contribute some more. “What do you say?”
Although I had already paid the entry fee, I still wanted to give more. All the goodness I had witnessed at the stadium pulled my heartstrings; it was impossible to say no now. Once I started, I just couldn’t stop.
With a genuine smile, I pulled out my wallet. I had plenty of cash in it. Everything I had stolen during this week. It was about four hundred bucks. Without a slimmer of doubt, the team would spend it wisely. Better than I ever could.
“Are you sure? It’s a lot of money,” Jimin asked, wondering if I was in the right state of mind donating so much.
“Yes, I am sure,” I confirmed, giving all of the money away. The feeling was deliberating, and it was really nice. “Oh my God, Jimin! What are you doing?” I asked in panic when Jimin put the box on the ground and picked me up, spinning around.
“Ahem,” someone cleared their throat before continuing, “am I interrupting something?” A familiar voice asked, making Jimin drop me down. Thankfully, I didn’t stumble. Somehow I found my balance before I hit my face against the pavement.
“Oh, Jungkook,” Jimin whispered, smiling awkwardly, almost as if we were caught cheating. “It’s not what it looks like,” he started, and I rolled my eyes. Literally, it was the worst phrasing he could choose, especially given the reputation this line holds. “I was just showing my gratitude after her generous donation.”
“Let’s just go,” I interjected before Jimin managed to embarrass me even more. With a smile upon my face, I grabbed Jungkook’s box and handed it over to Jimin. “Take care of that, okay?” I said, grabbing Jungkook’s hand, pulling him away from the campus ground.
Since it was quite chilly outside, Jungkook and I decided to grab drinks at the campus café. Having taken seats by the window in the back, we looked through menus to choose something delicious for our little informal date.
“Order anything you like; it’s my treat,” Jungkook mentioned before he proceeded to look through the menu. “You were my lucky charm today.”
“Well… of course, it’s your treat. I gave all my money away to charity,” I spoke, looking through the tea section for something I haven’t had before. “I’d like vanilla cinnamon tea,” I read out loud the position off the menu that really caught my attention.
“On it,” he added before he walked up to the counter to order. In a minute, he was back at the table, sitting comfortably at the other side of the table. “So… you and Jimin, huh?”
“Speaking of which, what kind of jealousy scene was that?” I inquired, teasing him for completely misunderstanding this situation.
“Sorry for that,” Jungkook apologized sheepishly, looking away. “It’s just it was so unexpected. I mean… you don’t know Jimin that well, and acting like that was quite strange,” Jungkook explained, and I nodded, trying to understand his reaction.
“Jimin’s cute. Is he single?” I asked, and Jungkook frowned upon my question, visibly upset with my wording. “What I meant is that I have a friend. I have a feeling they would click, you know,” I clarified, giggling when I saw relief wash through Jungkook.
“In that case, he’s very single,” Jungkook gladly answered, smiling brightly like an idiot. “After the last girl he was seeing dumped him a few months ago, he didn’t date. Maybe it’s about time he gets back to it,” he added, and I nodded, scribbling down my friend’s number on a piece of paper, sliding it over to Jungkook, believing he would pass it to Jimin.
“So… what are your plans for Christmas Eve?” I asked when the barista brought our order to the table. Apparently, Jungkook is quite a sweet-tooth. Beside my tea, he ordered a large cup of hot cocoa with roasted marshmallows on top along with four beautifully decorated cupcakes. I got cavities just by looking at it.
“I’m going Christmas shopping,” Jungkook answered, licking off some whipped cream off the pink cupcake. “I gotta buy gifts for the kids,” he added, and I smiled at the boy in front of me. Although I knew him only for two days, he kept surprising me.
In a good way, of course.
“Do you have any idea what I can get them?” Jungkook inquired, stuffing his mouth with the cupcake, enjoying his sweet treat. “There’s like thirty-five of them. I am clueless.”
“I don’t know… board games? Art supplies? Lego blocks? I’m sure you’ll figure this out,” I replied, suspecting I wasn’t much of a help.
“You could always come and join me,” Jungkook proposed, reaching for another cupcake. “I could use some help,” he added, pushing the tray with sugary treats towards me.
“I’d love to, but I will be at work, sorry,” I answered truthfully, now kind of regretting replying to that ad on Craigslist. “I’m babysitting tomorrow. Parents of three go on some business trip, and I have to watch them until their grandparents take over,” I explained, and Jungkook nodded, sipping his hot cocoa.
“Any plans after that?”
“I’ll just come back home and watch some Christmas movies on Netflix. This year, I don’t have time to go to my hometown. I gotta go to work as soon as Christmas is over,” I explained with a deep sigh. Although I wasn’t exceptionally family-oriented, it still felt a little bit odd to spend Christmas alone. “What about you?”
“My parents finally saved up enough money for the second honeymoon they always wanted to go, so there’s no real celebration this year,” Jungkook mentioned, showing real support for his parents. If that’s what they really wanted, he didn’t want to be a burden. “I’m really happy for them. Raising me and my brother wasn’t easy, so that’s the least we can do.”
“That’s really sweet of you,” I commented, wondering about Jungkook, his family, and their customs. “We could hang out tomorrow evening if you want to,” I proposed, and Jungkook beamed in utter joy, almost as if he waited for my offer.
“I thought you’d never ask,” Jungkook admitted, grinning like a child. “Come on, have some cupcake. I bought them for us.”
“I’m fine with my tea,” I replied, raising the cup to my mouth, taking a tiny sip. “I’m full just by looking at you eat,” I added, encouraging Jungkook to devour the rest of the goodies.
As if I didn’t know already, Jungkook proved to me one more time how charming he was. Though we had different opinions on some topics, we also had a lot in common.
This date was really informative. For example, I had no idea that Jungkook only plays in the hockey team for the scholarship. His true passion is photography and directing, and it’s actually his major. Moreover, he shared how much he likes to sings in the shower, for which he often gets teased by fellow teammates.
Maybe our first meeting was a tragedy, but the more time I spent with him, I began to realize that it was actually worth it to take this fall.
CHRISTMAS EVE
“My parents should arrive around seven,” the mother of three boys announced when she finally found a second to talk to me. “Jin is ten, Namjoon is eight, and Taehyung is five,” she added when the boys ran across the corridor, chasing one another.
“They’re adorable,” I commented, though I didn’t really mean it. I had no idea how the kids would behave when their parents would walk out the door.
“My sweet little angels,” she said with a deep sigh, feeling a bit sad that she had to leave her children alone on Christmas day. Unfortunately, whatever they had to tend to at work was way more important than spending holidays with their children. “How much money do I owe you?” She asked, being unaware of the amount her husband put on the advertisement.
“Five hundred,” I answered, and she nodded her head, giving me the correct amount.
Thankfully, the kids weren’t all that troublesome.
After their parents left for the airport, the children were a loud mess playing some console games. As long as they didn’t want me to participate in their fun activities, I didn’t mind the noise. I’d just simply wait for the grandparents to arrive.
Just two more hours; I can handle that.
“Can I have some candy?” Taehyung asked cutely, holding a bag of jelly beans in his hands. Usually, I’d say no. Kids tend to be hyperactive on the sugar rush. I didn’t want to have to deal with it, but then, I was quite impressed that he even bothered to ask for permission.
“Of course, sweetie, it’s Christmas,” I replied, tearing the packaging for him.
After the boys got bored, they wanted to play some board games with me. I wasn’t particularly interested in interacting with them but ultimately decided to join in. It’s been a while since I destroyed someone at Monopoly, so I might as well do it now.
Just one more hour; it’s almost over.
The boys had a particularly short attention span. The average game of Monopoly should take at least two hours – Jin, Namjoon, and Taehyung returned to their previous shenanigans, running around and screaming at one another maybe twenty minutes into the game.
Just when I was about to yell at them to keep quiet, I heard my phone ring. Under these circumstances, it was a blessing. At this point, I’d diligently answer all the questions the spam caller wanted to ask me. I was desperate for some interaction with an adult.
Having locked myself inside the bathroom, I answered the call, enjoying a little bit of peace and quiet. “Hello?” I asked, waiting for Jungkook to brighten my day.
“Hi, there,” he spoke cheerfully, “all gifts are bought and wrapped,” he added, proud of his today’s achievements. “What time do you finish up?”
“In an hour or maybe earlier,” I answered, looking at the wristwatch.
“Do you want me to pick you up? We could take a walk, and then just go with the flow,” Jungkook proposed, and I immediately said yes as I couldn’t wait for him to show up and rescue me from these children.
“I’d actually love that. I’ll text you the address,” I spoke, biting my bottom lip in excitement. One more hour and I’d walk away with five hundred bucks in my wallet.
When the clock struck seven o’clock, the grandparents were nowhere to be seen. They were running late, and I was growing impatient. Jungkook would be here any minute, and I wanted to leave. I tried calling their parents but to no avail. They must’ve already boarded the plane.
This situation was helpless – they were just little boys, I couldn’t leave them alone.
Thirty minutes later, I heard the bell. In a hurry, I opened the doors, wishing to see the grandparents on the other side. Unfortunately, much to my dismay, it was just Jungkook.
“Shall we go now?” Jungkook asked, eyeing me from head to toe, biting his lip. “Wow, you look amazing,” he added, and I stared down at my outfit consisting of a cute tight purple turtleneck, a short black skirt, and a pair of warm tights.
“I can’t go yet. Their grandparents aren’t here, and I don’t have a way of calling them,” I explained, and Jungkook sighed, taking off his shoes, willing to help me babysit.
“What is he doing here,” Jin asked, as he folded his arms around his chest, judging me for inviting someone to their household.
“He’s my friend who was supposed to pick me up after I’m done here, and since your grandparents are getting late, he’s staying, so be nice to him.”
“Whatever,” he grumped before running to the living room, joining his brothers on the couch.
We tried watching a movie. However, once again, the boys couldn't focus enough to last to the end of it. Then, I realized I royally fucked up by giving them sugar earlier. They wanted to play hide and seek, and I agreed with a tired sigh.
Unwillingly, I turned around to face the wall. I closed my eyes and began counting, giving them more than enough time to find the perfect hiding spot.
“Three, two, one,” I hollered, making sure they heard me.
The apartment was suspiciously silent and pretty dark. I could definitely feel that weird vibe often present in horror movies. First of all, I checked all the hiding spots in the living room. Then, when I was about to enter the corridor, I felt a presence behind me. Before I managed to react, a hand snaked around my body, covering my mouth, muffling my unexpected screams.
In a second, the person turned me around. I should’ve figured it out it was Jungkook. With a goofy smile, he mentioned me to remain quiet.
“What are you doing? This is not how you play this game,” I whispered, giving him a lecture, but Jungkook only laughed at my reaction.
“Look, they’re finally quiet. You should take your time finding the kids,” Jungkook suggested, and I hummed in agreement. He was right – I should cherish the silence. He was a genius. “Shh…,” he added, pressing his forefinger against his perfect lips.
Maybe the atmosphere wasn’t perfect, but I just couldn’t help myself. We were standing there in the dark, completely still. I couldn’t fight this temptation.
Acting out of my urge, I took a step forward and gave him a chaste kiss. It was a delicate brush of my lips against his, but it was just perfect. And apparently, I wasn’t the only one who enjoyed this innocent form of affection.
The moment I pulled away, Jungkook grinned, placing his hands on my hips. Staring down at me, he yanked me against his firm body, leaning forward for another kiss. Tenderly, his mouth moved, feeling my lips.
Within seconds, the kiss became even more passionate. Smiling, Jungkook began to nibble on the sensitive skin of my lips, and I hummed in pleasure. With my arms wrapped around his neck, I opened my mouth slightly, allowing him to deepen the kiss.
“Fuck,” Jungkook loudly cursed as he bit my bottom lip, making me shriek in pain. At first, I thought he was just getting turned on, but then I realized what happened. It was Taehyung. He was standing right beside Jungkook, smiling as if he did something inappropriate. “He bit me!” Jungkook exclaimed, massaging his thigh, trying to ease the pain.
“He bit you?” I asked, being confused as ever. “Is that true, Taehyung?” I questioned the boy, but instead of answering me, he ran away to another room, chuckling like a maniac. Now, that was odd. “What is going on?”
The grandparents were supposed to arrive over an hour ago; I was losing my patience here.
“This kid bit me,” Jungkook carried on, unable to comprehend this entire situation. Well… he wasn’t the only one who couldn’t wrap his head around this. What the fuck was wrong with them? “What is this?” Jungkook asked as he felt something on this thigh. “Ew, it’s his tooth!”
That was enough.
It was about time I set up some rules.
“Let’s find them, meet me in the living room in five minutes,” I ordered before we split up to search more ground. The boys were getting out of hand, and they had to be stopped. For the love of God, Taehyung bit Jungkook!
“Have you found them?” Jungkook hollered, and I shook my head.
They vanished.
“I know it’s very irresponsible, but how about ditching this place?” I offered, even though I already knew the answer. They were just kids; we couldn’t just walk out, leaving them alone.
“It’s tempting, but we shouldn’t do that,” Jungkook spoke, regretting making the adult decision. “Isn’t that Namjoon?” He asked, and I turned to look where he was pointing at.
“Wait there, young man!” I yelled, storming out of the room, following Namjoon. The second I turned to the left, Namjoon was nowhere to be seen. It was weird; he must’ve run into one of the rooms. Unfortunately, before I managed to make up my mind, which room I should check first, someone pushed me onto the ground. It made me fall on my knees, painfully bruising them. “What the fuck?” I looked behind my shoulder, seeing Jin bolt off to the living room.
“Are you okay?” Jungkook asked in concern as he approached me, helping me stand up. “What is wrong with them?”
“I have no idea. The boys seemed fine earlier,” I spoke, seeing Taehyung run towards us. In a matter of seconds, he jumped at Jungkook, wrapping his hands around his neck, dangling off his back. “Hold still,” I ordered, but Jungkook was in panic, afraid of earning another wound.
I wanted to peel the kid off Jungkook’s back, but there was something wrong with Taehyung. Though he was a good boy, right now, there was something inhuman about him. He behaved like a wild animal with rabies, and it crept me out as fuck.
Jungkook smashed his back against the wall, hoping Taehyung would loosen the grip around his neck. At this moment, Jungkook felt as if the little boy was strangling him.
Unfortunately, the impact didn’t do much help.
Then I saw it. There must’ve been something really wrong with them. Taehyung’s eyes were all black with a few black veins around them, making him look extra creepy.
“Fuck this shit, let’s go,” I yanked Jungkook’s arm, wanting to get the hell away from this apartment. There was something wrong with them, and it wasn’t a part of my job to find out what. I was about to babysit them until seven o’clock and leave.
It wasn’t a part of the deal.
“We can’t leave,” Jungkook argued, but I didn’t want to listen.
“We’ll call the police,” I spoke, desperately trying to convince Jungkook to escape this trap. “They’ll send someone here to check up on them,” I added, running to the living room to get my bag. “Let’s go before I drag you out of here.” Maybe my words sounded like a threat, but it successfully made Jungkook move.
“It’s locked,” Jungkook said when he tried to pull the doors open. Though I didn’t lock it after Jungkook’s entrance, the doors wouldn’t budge now. “Do you have a key?”
Trapped inside the apartment, we looked at each other. None of us knew what to do next.
Then, the lights went out.
As if we weren’t already crept out.
“What is the plan?” Jungkook inquired, searching for my hand to hold onto something.
“Stay calm,” I answered, not realizing that quoting the office wasn’t the best idea at the moment. “You try everything to open the doors. Kungfu the shit out of them if you have to,” I ordered, and Jungkook hummed in understanding. “I’ll distract the kids.”
It wasn’t the wisest decision to make, but somebody had to do it. I wasn’t exceptionally proud of myself, but what could a bunch of weird kids do to me?
“Be careful,” Jungkook whispered before I turned on the torch on my phone, looking for the kids around the apartment.
They had to be hiding in one of the rooms. Having taken a confident sigh, I pushed one of the doors open, stepping into Namjoon’s bedroom. The space was spotless, and it was hard to believe it was one of the children’s rooms.
“Game over, Namjoon,” I spoke, urging him to show himself. “You won,” I added, as I kneeled on the carpet to check if he was hiding under the bed. He wasn’t there. “It’s not funny,” I exclaimed, marching towards the closet, anxious about opening it.
It had to be done, though.
Abruptly, I opened the closet, hoping I’d be the first to react if it was indeed Namjoon’s hiding spot. Unfortunately, I wasn’t. Before I managed to prepare myself, Namjoon pushed me, making me painfully fall on my back.
“You little fucker,” I yelled, groaning in pain, earning probably another big ass bruise. “You’re gonna regret that,” I added, unable to control my anger any longer. I was getting easy on them, but it was enough. Now, I’d punch them in the face if I had to.
Namjoon was staring down at me with these creepy black eyes of a demon. His eyes studied my movement, almost as if he was a predator, waiting for the best moment to strike its prey. Then he screeched, jumping right at me in an attempt to bite me.
This time around, however, my reflexes were quicker. Before Namjoon landed on top of me, I rolled to the side, kicking him in his stomach, sending him flying across the room. I couldn’t believe I just did that, but when Namjoon stood up as if nothing happened, I understood I had to go all the way if I wanted to make it out alive.
Quickly, I jumped to my feet, determined to Bruce Lee kick the devil’s spawn into another dimension with my close-to-none self-defense skills. Women in stress could pick up cars, and I had to beat up an eight-year-old.
I could handle it.
Easy peasy lemon squeezy.
Bouncing on my legs like on the ready mode in a fighting game, I stared at my opponent. Namjoon was the first to attack, and I just jumped at the side, not wanting to get bitten. Unfortunately, Namjoon still managed to scratch my arm, drawing blood.
“You’re dead,” I threatened when I saw that he tore the sleeve of my favorite turtleneck. With anger in my eyes, I approached him, throwing punches left and right. My fists collided against Namjoon’s jaw, but no matter how much force I used, it didn’t seem to have any impact on him. He didn’t feel any pain, and it pissed me off.
With a hiss, Namjoon jumped at me, wrapping his hands and arms around my torso. His mouth was dangerously close to my throat, so in a state of complete panic, I started to spin around, trying to shake him off of me.
Now, Namjoon’s room was a complete mess – especially when I walked into a mirror, smashing it into a thousand pieces. Namjoon and I were rolling in the broken glass, earning plenty of tiny cuts across our bodies.
“That’s enough,” I warned him as I spat blood on the carpet. “Say hello to Satan for me, will you?” I added before I pushed him out of the window without any regrets. Namjoon kept screaming, but when his tiny body smashed against the pavement, the peculiar screeching finally stopped. “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker,” I whispered, unable to control myself.
I just killed a kid, and the first thing that came to my mind was quoting Die Hard.
It wasn’t the time for celebration. There were still two children running around the apartment.
Looking around Namjoon’s room, I found a baseball bat. That’ll do, I thought to myself as I stared at my new-found weapon.
“Jungkook!” I shouted.
Once I was in the corridor, I saw the doors. They were open, but Jungkook was out of sight. Did he seriously ditch me here alone? No, it wasn’t possible. Jungkook would never do that.
The boys must’ve done something to him.
One by one, I checked all the rooms, but I found nothing. It almost felt as if I was alone in this creepy apartment.
“Cut the crap, boys,” I hollered, ready to smack anybody in the face with my baseball bat. I was done playing games. I just wanted to go home and wrap myself in blankets in front of a television. “Come out! I don’t have the whole day,” I added, looking around.
I was on high alert. Adrenaline and other hormones were running through my veins, enhancing my senses. Then I heard it – the sound was coming from the staircase. Quickly, I ran out of the apartment, checking the reason behind this commotion.
It was a yellow ball. Somebody must’ve thrown it. Leaning over the railing, I looked up, trying to spot the villain behind this prank. Then I heard giggles. It must’ve been Taehyung.
“Get down here, right now,” I ordered, but the boy didn’t listen. “You’re going to be so dead when I get up there,” I warned, skipping two steps at a time, climbing the stairs.
On the top of the stairs, Taehyung was sitting comfortably, playing with a yo-yo. His face was stretched into a creepy smile, and in all honesty, it gave me chills.
“Get down here,” I repeated myself, but Taehyung didn’t even budge. “Where is Jungkook? What did you do to him?” I asked and received no answer.
Angrily, I walked upstairs, swinging my baseball bat around. Taehyung tried to mess with me with his yo-yo, but I managed to catch the toy and pull it out of his hands.
Like a maniac, I swung the bat, repeatedly hitting Taehyung’s head until it turned into a pulp. Wiping the blood off my face with the back of my hand, I turned around, studying the area. There was one more child out there, and I couldn’t lose my focus just yet.
“Where are you, Jin?” I shouted, waiting for a sign from the boy.
“Here,” Jin whispered, as he emerged from the shadows, pushing me off the stairs.
It was a painful fall, but thankfully, I didn’t break my neck. I felt a pulsating sensation in my left ankle, but besides that, I was fine.
Groaning in pain, I watched Jin slowly descend the stairs. His weird-ass demon eyes were drilling holes in my face, his lips turning into a devilish sneer. Step by step, he made his way downstairs, enjoying the way I tried to crawl away from him. The anticipation was draining me of energy; he was going to murder me, and I could just watch him do it.
“Help!” I shouted though I doubted anyone could hear me. “Somebody call the police!” I carried on but to no avail.
Jin was maybe thirty centimeters away from me, savoring my misery. Slowly, he tilted his head to the side, showing me his teeth, ready to tear me apart.
I had maybe a minute of life left, and I was going to spend it looking into my killer’s eyes.
That was sick.
When Jin was about to jump at me, I heard a noise coming from the apartment.
The scene unfolded in front of my eyes so soon, I couldn’t properly react to it. Right before Jin took a final leap towards me, Jungkook emerged out of the apartment with a fireplace poker, piercing it through Jin’s neck.
Jin’s blood, like a fountain, squirted on me. With my eyes closed, I waited for this moment to end. A few seconds later, I could hear Jin’s dead body collapse to the side.
“Are you okay?” I asked Jungkook, who dropped onto the floor beside me in shock.
“I just killed a kid,” Jungkook whispered, still unable to process what just happened. “When you walked away to look for the kids, I heard a noise in the kitchen. It was Jin, and when I entered, he began throwing shit at me. That motherfucker cut my face,” he added, showing me his fresh wound on his beautiful cheek. “Then, he stabbed my side with the knife and locked me in the closet,” he added, squeezing his side, trying to numb the pain.
“Let’s get the hell away from here,” I spoke, trying to stand up. It was difficult with all my wounds, but I couldn’t stand being inside this building.
CHRISTMAS DAY
We just killed three children.
At first, we had no clue what to do next, but then, I listened to my voice of reason – Jungkook. No matter how bad it looked, we had to go to the police.
Hand in hand, we slowly walked to the nearest police station. People were turning their heads when we were passing by them. I couldn’t blame them. I looked like Carrie with better clothing, while Jungkook seemed to have survived a zombie apocalypse.
When we entered the police station, everybody stared at us. Wobbling, we approached the front desk. “We killed three children,” I admitted, realizing how bad it sounded without the context.
The policeman was shocked. He didn’t witness this kind of thing regularly.
A few minutes later, we were escorted to a questioning room, where we could describe everything in great detail. Unfortunately, they didn’t seem to buy our story, thinking we were trying to pull some kind of a prank.
Taking all precautions, they called in an ambulance. We were seriously injured, and we needed some medical care. Though the doctor did a great job, I’d kill to get some better painkillers.
Once our wounds were dressed, the police locked us in custody. We had to wait until a pair of policemen checked the apartment and secure the evidence.
“Merry Christmas, Jungkook,” I whispered as I looked at my wristwatch, realizing it was already past one o’clock. “I know we had different plans, but out of all people, I am glad I was stuck there with you. You saved my life,” I carried on, looking at Jungkook fondly.
“We killed three children,” he replied, still shaken after what had happened. Perhaps, he didn’t need me now, but I really wanted to hug him and tell him that everything’s gonna be alright. Too bad that we were locked in two different cells.
“In self-defense,” I added since Jungkook often seemed to forget that part.
After ten minutes of painful silence, one of the guards walked up to the custody, unlocking our cells. What else did they want to know? We already said everything we knew.
“You’re free to go,” the guard announced, surprising us immensely. “It was an elaborate prank, but don’t ever do that again, or else, we’re going to seriously put you in jail,” he warned, urging us to leave.
“I don’t understand,” I wondered out loud, unable to process what was going on. “I thought you sent your men to check out the crime scene.”
“We did, and the apartment you wanted us to check out was empty. We talked with the landlord, and he said this flat has been vacant for the last year,” the guard explained, making me and Jungkook gasp in shock.
What the fuck was going on?
In complete silence, with our heads hanging low, we exited the police station.
“What now?”
“Let’s just go home and watch Die Hard,” Jungkook whispered, still trying to wrap his head around what had happened inside the apartment. We almost died in there. However, when the police checked it, it was like we had never been there.
My apartment was closer, so we both headed there. Our moves were robotic, our heads were empty. At this point, we just wanted to sit down and keep our minds busy, so we wouldn’t try to analyze what happened back there.
It wasn’t a figment of our imagination. Our wounds were concrete evidence that we were telling the truth. Unfortunately, the police didn’t want to believe us. However, as the saying goes – no body, no crime.
In light of the law, we were innocent.
As soon as we entered my apartment, we sat down on the floor, resting our back against the sofa. Mindlessly, I grabbed the remote and turned Die Hard on Netflix.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I whispered as I interlaced my fingers with Jungkook’s, resting my head on his shoulder. “Or we can just pretend it never happened. Let’s just say we watched a really weird movie or went to a hardcore escape room,” I added, studying Jungkook’s arm tattoos, getting lost in his skin art.
“I’ve known you a few days,” Jungkook started, staring into my eyes. “But I’ve experienced more stress than in my entire life altogether,” he added with a sigh, placing a delicate peck against my neck.
“Actually, my life is pretty boring,” I admitted, though I knew where Jungkook’s words were coming from. I wouldn’t believe myself, either. “It took a 180 on that ice rink,” I reasoned, trying to find a connection.
“You’re beautiful,” Jungkook confessed genuinely, staring at my face with his big sparkly eyes. He was bullshitting me, but I didn’t have enough energy to argue with him. How could I be beautiful? My hair was all sticky due to all the blood which the doctor hadn’t washed off. My skin was covered with cuts and bruises. Even my clothes were ripped. I was certain Jungkook didn’t mean it, but I wasn’t going to admit that.
“You’re beautiful, too,” I beamed, teasing him. “Even after what we’ve been through today, you’re absolutely breathtaking,” I added, and Jungkook looked away, trying to hide his red cheeks. Carefully, I cupped his face, pressing another delicate kiss against his lips.
Just like feathers, our lips moved against each other. No rush, no hastiness, just pure delight.
Though we were both sore and exhausted, we took our time. Maybe it was past three o’clock now, but we didn’t care. I could stay up all night, kissing him like that.
Slowly, Jungkook’s hands found purchase on my hips, carefully pulling me closer on top of his thighs. Gently, I began rubbing my sex against his muscular legs, trying not to make him hiss. His beautiful thighs had already suffered enough damage when Taehyung had bitten him – I didn’t want to inflict any more pain.
“I wish I could fuck you the way I want to,” Jungkook confessed, taking me aback with his filthy words. He was a good soft boy with a heart of gold; how could he talk dirty to me like that? It was out of his calm and collected character, but I absolutely loved it.
“Don’t worry, I think I’m gonna stick around at least until you’re fully recovered,” I answered with a teasing tone as I reached down to his zipper, freeing his semi-hard cock. “Do you have any plans for New Year’s Eve? Or Valentine’s Day?” I questioned, but Jungkook was too busy to answer right away, ripping my tights apart.
“Actually, I do,” Jungkook mentioned with a lopsided smirk upon his face. “I’m gonna be sitting here between your thighs, buried deep inside your pussy. How do you like that?” He asked mischievously, biting my bottom lip before I managed to reply.
“I hope you’re not all talk,” I answered, staring down at his dick. Carefully, I pulled it out of his pants, giving it a few strokes before I raised my hips, slowly sinking down on his length. “Mmm…” I purred, feeling a pleasant stretch.
“I should’ve prepped you,” Jungkook whispered as he felt my walls slowly adjust to his girth.
“Nah, it’s all fine,” I spoke, getting all comfortable on his dick. “There’s always a next time.”
With a languid, stable pace, I rocked my hips back and forth, riding him. Going this slow allowed me to properly feel every inch of him. It was intimate, and I enjoyed it much more than any mindless pounding, which didn’t always get me off. With Jungkook under me, I was in complete control. He was obedient and responsive to my movements, really making it look easy to push me over the edge.
“I’m coming,” I moaned, feeling the approaching orgasm. Jungkook, instead of messing with my tempo, grabbed my hips, helping me maintain my current pace. “Fuck, Jungkook,” I hissed when he gently pushed his cock deeper inside of me, being seconds away from his own release.
“Come around my cock,” Jungkook ordered, and I obeyed his order, falling into a million pieces on top of him, screaming his name. Thankfully, Jungkook’s hands held me in place. Otherwise, I’d once again collapse onto the floor. “Argh,” Jungkook grunted, shooting his load inside of me. “I want to go again,” he added as soon as he calmed down after the powerful orgasm.
“I think it’ll have to wait,” I answered, though I’d love to go another round. “We can try in the morning. Right now, I need a shower,” I added, and Jungkook nodded his head, resting it between my boobs, too lazy to let me go.
He was still balls deep inside of me, and his cum was slowly oozing out of my pussy, but none of us wanted to move. It felt as pleasant as it was nasty, but we didn’t mind.
“Do you mind if I join you?” Jungkook asked innocently, batting his eyelashes in an attempt to woo me. “That would save lots of water,” he added, and I didn’t want to argue with his reasoning.
“Why the hell not? Let’s go before I change my mind,” I spoke, giving him a hand, helping him stand up. “But,” I added, sternly staring at the boy beside me. “Until we’re fully recovered, it’s just a shower.”
“Sure thing.”
#jungkook smut#jeongguk smut#jeongguk fluff#jungkook fluff#jungkook#jeon jungkook#bts smut#bts fluff#christmas smut#bts christmas#bts#bangtan smut
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happy christmas. it’s chritmas. merry crisis. merry chrysler. -the vine goddess Christine Sydelko.
happy holidays to all who celebrate it! and equally happy wishes to those who don’t 💕
I have come here to be a little sappy on main.
I am so eternally grateful for all the wonderful friends, mutuals, kind strangers, supporters, followers, and people I admire from afar on this platform. This time last year I never dreamed I would be writing fanfiction again, and now I’m writing it for three different fandoms. Wow. And I’m loving every moment of it, I feel like my writing spirit has come alive again.
This has been such a difficult year for everyone. My year has most definitely had its ups and downs, but a lot of my ups have stemmed from the wonderful people I’ve met through this little hell site that I have had the amazing privilege to become friends with.
You all rock. Seriously, thank you to everyone who has supported me and kept me going through these trying times.
Special thanks to:
@present-mel @linestrider @messwriting @whats-her-quirk @mindninjax @lookslikeleese @dymphnasprose @redflannel @thisisthehardestthing @elektraeriseros @joyousandverywarlike @hi-itsbonny @stormcallart @bakatenshii @blahkugo @spicyness @deathcab4daddy @hisoknen @sugardaddykenma @rivendell101 @vixen-scribbles @10millionyearsdungeon @thewheezingwyvern @tomurasprincess @hoe-doroki @some-kindofgnome @sawamooora @dabilove27 @kingkatsuki @crushzone @mushwritesstuff
And honestly so many more 💖
merry chrysler, fam. keep the smut train rolling.
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Rotbtd as popular vines
Rapunzel: Hi, I'm Nathasha Bliss and I'm your freestyle dance teacher
Merida: (on top of the fridge) This house is a fucking nightmare!
Hiccup: That is not correct, because according to the encyclopedia of ahekakrjdkle
Jack: (while Sandman and Pitch fight) Can I get a waffle? Can I please get a waffle?
Eugene: I love you, bitch, I'm gon never stop loving you, bitch.
Astrid: Merry crisis.
North: There is one thing worse than a rapist (Pitch: a child) N O.
Harris, Hubert and Hamish: IS THAT A POLICE??? I'M CALLING THE WEED
Elsa: I have crippling depression
Anna: oh my fucking god she's fucking dead
#Rotbtd#rotbtd incorrect quotes#rise of the guardians#Rise of the guardians#Rotg#Jack frost#rise of the brave tangled dragons#Brave#Merida#Princess merida#Tangled#Rapunzel#New dream#eugenezel#Httyd#how to train your dragon#Httyd astrid#Hiccup haddock#hiccup httyd#Frozen#Frohana#Anna frozen#Elsa frozen#Queen elsa#Princess anna#Rotbftd
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FG AS VINES
Literally everyone: Can I get a waffle?
Nash and Alexi: *fighting each other over Pippin*
Everyone: Can I please get a waffle?
--
Pippin: Happy Crimus!
Pippin: It’s crismun!
Pippin: Merry crisis!
Pippin: Merry Chrysler!
Nash: He's doing his best-
--
Cup: How do you know what’s good for me?
Cinna:
That’s my opinion!
Alroy:
--
Writer: WHAT ARE THOSEEEEE?
Pippin: They are my crocs!
--
Writer: Dad, look, it’s the good kush!
Prompt: This is the dollar store, how good can it be?
--
Pippin: I smell like beef.
Nash: *snorts softly*
Pippin: *:3* I smell like beef.
Nash: *reaches out to touch Pippin's shoulder*
Pippin: *looks up at him with a 0∆0 face* I smell like beef.
Nash: *trying extremely hard to hold back his laughter*
Pippin: I SMELL LIKE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF-
--
Finn: *playing his guitar* I love you bitch, I ain’t never gonna stop loving you, bitch.
--
Noodles: Say, Colorado!
Bird: *flying past* I’M A GIRAFFE!
--
Vex: *watching all the chaos, just trying to be best boy* Ah, fuck. I can’t believe you’ve done this.
(I'M LAUGHING SO HARD RN I CANTAJDJ)
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