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kaintrix · 4 months

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I finished iwwv a few days ago, and obvi cant stop thinking about it. Here are my thoughts.😵‍💫

‼️Spoilers‼️

Specifically, I can’t stop thinking about James and how upset he must have been, for all the multitude of reasons he would be.

Everytime I think about how he didn’t want to stay in the Castle, and def didnt wanna stay in his and Oliver’s room alone (whenever oli stayed with Meredith), always on walks or somewhere else we don’t know, I felt sooo bad for him.😭 And how Oliver explained that he hadnt seen or barely saw James for a couple days before the combat class.

I was so upset I felt sick.😫 Like— James is grappling with keeping two secrets from Oliver: one, that he’s in love with him, and two, the murder. So he watches his best friend end up with Meredith and he can’t do anything about it. And then there’s the fear of letting the truth out about Richard and potentially not being accepted by Oliver anymore, not as a friend, let alone as a lover.

Just… how isolating that must have been for him. Not being able to tell—I assume—the only person in the world he’d want to speak to about what happened, and also how he clearly felt unworthy of Oliver bc of what he did. While oliver didn’t believe that he was worthy of james as well—always the sidekick. GOD I HATE IT😖😖

(Sidenote, that point when Oli realizes why James was never at the house, and didn’t want to be alone in their room, bc James asks Wren to come to bed with him. Like yeah, Oliver, catch up. That shit fucking hurt.)

For context, I read through the whole book wondering when they would kiss bc I read a spoiler about it and I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR IT TO BE 16 PAGES FROM THE END WTF. So many times throughout they were literally this close 🤏 from each other and I was like, “this has got to be it, right??” lmaoo

And I’m sure that for both of them, maybe more James than Oliver, they were afraid of messing up their friendship or afraid of being rejected by the other. Which I usually love that about the friends-to-lovers trope, but I could not handle the angst in this fucking book, i was, and still am, distraught😭😭

“‘I never wanted you to look at me the way you’re looking at me right now.’”

FUCK

And then Oliver calling James a prince in that iconic line!!

(seriously tho, Richard used the term “prince” numerous times and meant it in a derogatory way, but Oliver saying it with acceptance, forgiveness, and affection, I—🫠)

Then when the both of them notice Colborne is off to the side, they know things are not going to be the same, and James realizes he might not see oliver again (at least not out of prison, knowing he would be forced to confess im sure), so he cant hold back anymore and kisses oliver. And in that one moment, they experience all the pain and emotion of this is our first kiss, but also (likely) our last.☹️☹️☹️

I get the point of the slow burn and gay tragedy, but MY GOD I just wanted these two boys to be happy.

So I am on the delusional side of things; they deserve a happy ending. James HAS to be alive, plss omgg. (i love reading the theories in fanfics of where ppl believe James disappeared to.) (Also, didnt realize he drove all the way to washington state to drown himself btw, didnt consider where the san juan islands were, just something i looked up and thought was interesting, anyways)

They’re so in love😭😭 I can’t stand it. Espec James. I feel so fucking bad for him, just thinking about how much he was struggling.

Moments that broke me:

- When James showed up at Oliver’s house unannounced. (which ofc he would, where else would he go, who else would he go to or want to be near.)

- Alexander said James couldn’t pick himself up off the floor for like half a week when Oliver was first arrested.

- The kiss on the hand, the last time they saw each other.

- The hope in Oliver when he’s finally out and all he wants is to see James.

- Oliver breaking down at Meredith’s place.

Okay, now this is just a few other notes I had on the story.

First is just a theory of mine, but I don’t believe James and Wren had any kind of romantic or sexual relationship. I believe it was always platonic / protective. Bc I think that James knew he was in love with Oliver way early on in their friendship, and just didn’t want to admit it for obvious reasons.

(I also think it’s possible James could have resented his feelings for Oliver bc of how Richard taunted him being the smallest of the boys and, perhaps, for being a little fruity and whatnot, so when Oliver ended up with Meredith, I think maybe he focused on Wren as a distraction, the way Oliver used Meredith.)

Also, I dont think oliver is bi, i think he is gay. I thought he was bi at first because—well clearly he’s with meredith, but i started to reconsider when I remembered how he said he’s never brought a girl home before, and he only seems to like meredith bc everyone does and everyone’s supposed to. She’s the conventionally attractive one, and yk, that’s what a lot of queer ppl veer toward. A sort of, idk if its performative heterosexuality or what, but Oliver ends up following the social script for how a presumably straight/cis person is supposed to act. Maybe there’s also the attention from someone like Meredith that feels enticing to him. How she’s considered to be “the hottest girl” at their school and all that, and what being with her would mean for him. I just think Oliver is oblivious to his superficial feelings for her.

Another thing I wanted to mention is that I feel the story lacks in-depth characterization.

Maybe that was a choice to focus on the characters’ archetypes, how they get pigeon-holed to play certain people, but I personally thought it made them feel empty and I couldn’t connect to them. I felt like I didn’t get the full or clear picture of who each character was. Meaning sometimes they didn’t feel like an actual, real person I could meet.

I wish there was more complexity to them, I wish we got to see how each of their internal conflicts—how they deal with their archtypes and their struggle to go against it or accept it, how it causes them distress. I think more explicit examples of that would’ve helped fill in the gaps of their personalities for me. There should have been more moments in the book to show the full depth of who they are, maybe compared to who they want to be. (Not to mention, some characters def got more development than others.)

To be honest, a lot of the story felt disjointed, broken, and put together with pieces missing. Apart from the lack of individual character depth, the dynamics and relationships between the friend group felt somehow superficial and empty as well. I kept thinking how they’ve been friends for three years, but it seemed as though they didn’t really know each other sometimes.

Anyway, that’s all I can think of right now, idk if anyone else felt this way. I’d like to know if someone did/does, bc I honestly felt like there should’ve been more to the story, as I said above it seems like pieces are missing that i beleive if expanded upon would have helped to really develop the characters’ identities, their relationships between each other, and also helped to connect with the audience better.

But maybe I’m just picky🤷 tbh the story resembled one of those average netflix original tv shows most of the time I read through it lol.

#iwwv #iwwv spoilers #if we were villains #james farrow #oliver marks #meredith dardenne #wren stirling #richard stirling #alexander vass #filippa kosta #joliver

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bullet-prooflove · 1 year

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The North Star - Part Fifteen: Friendly Fire - Terry Bruno x Reader

Welcome to mine and @the-hinky-panda The Bronx universe featuring our favs Terry Bruno & Mike Duarte.

This story takes place several years after 'Blood Out'. Terry still lives in the Bronx and works in Manhatten SVU.

Following on from @the-hinky-panda story 'The Dog' Mike has retired from the NYPD on medical grounds due to seizures causes by the attack. He has a therapy dog called Bono and lives with @the-hinky-panda character Meredith.

Tagging: @mysoulisasunflower @legit9thlunaticwarrior @bbyxoo @the-adzukibean @xoxabs88xox @crazy4chickennuggets @beardedbarba @wooshwastaken @justreblogginfics @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @storiesofsvu @anime-weeb-4-life @witches-unruly-heart

Part One: Moments (NSFW)

Part Two: Case of the Ex

Part Three: Her Worse Half

Part Four: Always

Part Five: Ask Me Again

Part Six: Degas

Part Seven: The Heist

Part Eight: A Part to Play

Part Nine: Home

Part Ten: Safe Space

Part Eleven: Weak

Part Twelve: Got Your Back

Part Thirteen: Familia

Part Fourteen: Gunplay

Pneumothorax, a collapsed lung.

The words echoed through Terry’s head as he stood in the hospital waiting room, trying to ignore the pounding in his chest.

The impact to the vest had knocked the air right out of you, compressing your lung and filling part of your chest cavity with air. They’d performed a needle aspiration to drain the oxygen. It was a simple procedure according to the doctor, but it would take a couple of hours, they were monitoring you to ensure there were no complications.

You were only allowed one visitor for now; Terry had pushed Meredith ahead of himself. He knew she needed to see you, to lay eyes on you herself to prove that you were ok. Terry couldn’t stand the expression on her face when he’d picked her up from the vet practice where she worked. He wasn’t used to seeing the other woman fall to pieces and it wounded him. She had lost so much over the years, her parents, her brother Colin and now almost you…

Terry didn’t want to imagine a world without you in it, those images, those thoughts had assaulted him in the immediacy of the event.

“Shot… She’s been shot.”

As soon as Duarte had spat those words out in the aftermath of his seizure, Terry had felt the earth shift under his feet. It was always a possibility; it was the nature of your job but you were careful, diligent. You didn’t take risks; you were by the book. He didn’t understand how this could have happened.

“Friendly fire,” Sinclair told him.

The words echoed around Terry’s brain as he stood in front of Abe Sinclair with his arms crossed over this chest as he tried to maintain some tiny shred of control. He could feel it slipping through his fingers, the rage, the grief, the terror all thrumming through his body as he stood in the hospital waiting room with blazing blue eyes and murder on his mind.

“What the fuck do you mean friendly fire?” he snarled as that turmoil of emotions unleashed itself. “She was wearing a vest right? It says NYPD right across the chest.”

In the open trauma bays, he could see Lou and Carr having their blood withdrawn by diligent nurses. It was standard procedure in the aftermath of a police shooting, they checked for alcohol and ran a tox screen. He knew, their guns had already been collected and IAB would already be on their way.

“Who?” Mike said quietly from the creaky plastic seat he was sitting in; he rubbed his temples with firm fingertips as Bono sat patiently alongside him. “Who was it?”

Sinclair’s lips pursed his together grimly.

“Fuck.” Terry growled, his hands coming to rest on the top of his head as he lifted his eyes towards the ceiling. “Where the fuck…”

His head whipped around as the sound of a curtain being withdrawn. His eyes landed on Russo as the other man used two fingers to hold a cotton ball in place on the crook of his elbow. Their eyes met and he knew, he just fucking knew.

Dilated pupils.

The jangling knee.

Russo was fucking high.

Terry felt something inside of him snap, it was violent and torrent, pulsing through his veins like electricity as he threw himself at the other man with a rage he hadn’t known he possessed. His hands gripped the fabric of Russo’s shirt as he slammed him so hard into the wall, he felt it vibrate.

That cry of pain as the back of Russo’s head hit the wall was gratifying. He jammed his forearm underneath the other detective’s chin, cutting off his air supply as he stared into that vacuous darkness in Russo’s eyes.

“You weren’t satisfied with assaulting her, you tried to kill her too?” he snarled, pressing harder against his windpipe. Russo choked, the air rasping out of his lungs and Terry thought this is how you must have felt, those moments struggling to breathe, fighting for oxygen despite the fact it was restricted. He hoped that Russo was getting a taste of what you had endured at his hands. “Or were you so fucking high, you didn’t even realise who you were shooting at?”

And there it was. That fucking moment of realisation. It had all been an accident, a stupid fucking accident.

“You could have killed her.” He told the other man, that rage ebbing out of his system as he shoved the other man half-heartedly. “You almost did.”

The noise from the room rushed in. Chaos and raised voices, hands gripping him, pulling him away from Russo as the other man swept his hand across his nose with a resentful glare. Terry couldn’t focus on any of that. All he could think about was you, how scared you must have been, back then, last night, this afternoon. How you’d struggled with this shit, with Russo for so long until it came down to this.

The flash of gun, the stench of cordite and a bullet.

The adrenaline was leaving his system, his hands started to shake as he found himself thrust into a chair alongside Duarte. Sinclair was talking but Terry couldn’t hear him over the roaring of blood in his ears, he stared at his fingertips as they quivered.

“Bono.” Duarte said softly before tipping his head towards Terry.

Bono shifted, his warm body leaning against Terry’s leg before he put his chin on Terry’s lap.

“Trust me…” Duarte said. “It helps.”

Terry’s fingers curled in the dog’s fur, his palm smoothing over the dog’s head gently as he looked into Bono’s soulful dark eyes.

“She’s alive.” Duarte reminded him quietly, rubbing his palms together. “She’s alive and she’s gonna be ok.”

Love Terry Bruno? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

#detective terry bruno #terry bruno #terry bruno x reader #terry bruno x you #terry bruno fic

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anewkindofme · 7 months

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WIP Wednesday

Thanks for the tag @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad

A sneak peek at the next “But I’m An Avery”

———

Jackson stares at a spot on the wall. The navy blue paint is chipping. He resists the itch to pull off a particularly long piece. His hands stay by his side, not wanting to be yelled at by Meredith again. Okay, maybe she didn’t yell. Derek did.

Who is he to yell at him? He’s not his caregiver. Jackson isn’t Alex. This whole thing is ridiculous. They shouldn’t be able to put him in timeout. He’s not even feeling little!

The door opens. Jackson braces himself for Derek. Instead, he hears Mark’s voice.

“Thanks, Meredith. I’ve got it from here.” There’s a pause. “I’m sorry for all this.”

“I understand,” she says, her voice kind but tired. “These past few weeks have been a build up of emotions.”

“That doesn’t make it okay. He knows better.”

Jackson’s cheeks flush. They’re talking about him like he’s not right there!

The door opens and shuts once again. Out of the corner of his eye, Jackson sees Meredith head for Derek’s office.

“So,” Mark says. Jackson turns around to find him with his arms folded over his chest. His brows are furrowed in frustration. “How does it feel to be in the running for Seattle Grace’s brattiest surgeon?”

“I mean…there’s Karev.”

———

No pressure tag: @kingofdarkness00 , @snowviolettwhite, @actualalligator & anyone who wants to participate

#sfw agere #little jackson avery #caregiver mark sloan #caregiver meredith grey

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marcholasmoth · 8 months

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OSRR: 3461

today was quiet. i talked to leo early on but i was laughing so hard that meredith sent him a message "molly is laughing too hard. go to sleep." it was so funny omg

anyway it was pretty quiet. i like getting to hang out with meredith. she's delightful.

at the end of the day, i ended up staying for another hour and a half to sit and talk to and hang out with jey and leo because i don't get to see them much. it was a great decision. i got to see leo's cats, we all talked about a bunch of things, and i laughed a LOT and im very happy.

when i left, i drove down the road and ended up at a red light. my windows were down because it was nice out (to me), and the car next to me had music playing, so i was nodding and moving along to the music. and then the lady in the passenger seat of the other car says to me, "you can do the macarena to anything, it works! try it!" she was doing the macarena to a song that should not have the macarena done to it. i laughed because that was the LAST thing i expected to hear today 😂 so i said i would and i laughed down the road when the light turned green. and at the NEXT red light, i was a few cars back from the front of the line, and that SUV would be the first in that line, but they slowed down next to me and the lady was dancing more! it was SO FUNNY because she (1) stopped to say something, (2) said something, (3) danced while saying it, and (4) stopped AGAIN to show me that she was dancing! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

literally i laughed halfway down the bridge.

and joel's out for now, and i realize how often he comes home really late. i would like to cuddle with him one of these evenings.

a couple other things, but they're trauma-based.

tw religion, religious trauma, personal trauma, mental and emotional manipulation and abuse

tldr i remembered some ~church~ and "friend" shit that made me angry for my past self and my current self.

as i was driving in cambridge yesterday, i found the mormon church in the area. it's on the road i take to get back to the main thoroughfare to get back to the bridge to get back to the highway. it's right there. i could've lived without finding it. but today as i came up to it i cursed it out and all the people and establishments that fucked me over for so long. i thought about all of the mental gymnastics and hoops i had to jump through to stay and to believe it all.

and then as i was on the highway coming back home, i thought of another experience that i have zero qualms with talking about.

once upon a time, i had a friend at church named lisa. she was funny and smart and no-nonsense and was bisexual, so we understood the lgbt. she also had an account on here and freaked out when she learned that i was in charge of the account. it was nice.

for a while.

lisa and aaron and tyler, the three friends ("friends") i had in that group i had told before that when they hang out if they want to include me that i needed an explicit invitation. i told all of them that. they refused to respect it. but i ignored it.

i texted the group the most, i think. i always texted first. i ignored that, too.

and then one evening when the gathered young adults were playing a game for family home evening, the teams got into an argument and were shouting and yelling really loudly at each other. i didn't want to play but i got up, threw my hands in the air, and yelled as a response, "okay! i'll go next!" just to appease everyone. and i went into the hallway and proceeded to have a panic attack.

while i'm in the middle of breaking down, lisa and tyler and aaron come out to "check on me," which im sure was their intent, but it didn't come across that way.

lisa asked me what was wrong and i said i didn't know. she then said something to the effect of, "this is why we walk on eggshells around you, why we can't talk to you, because we don't know what will set you off since you won't tell us."

it was the meanest thing i can remember her saying to me.

(this was SEVERAL years ago.)

i was just beginning to work through my trauma, much of which stems from constant arguments and screaming matches between my parents throughout my entire childhood.

i didn't know that listening to people yell like that was going to set me off.

if someone is having a panic attack, you don't go up to them during it and say "we can't talk to you because you don't tell us your triggers."

how am i supposed to tell you what's going to set me off when even i don't know what's going to set me off??

it's not okay to blame someone for your actions because they don't know something. it's less okay to do that in the middle of a panic attack. it's even less okay to disguise it as care.

i left that night in tears. i felt terrible. i was exhausted from the attack. but that was the first time i started to think about the mental gymnastics i was doing. i didn't ignore it.

i realized that i always texted first. so i stopped texting first.

i didn't get any more texts.

i stopped offering to do things.

i stopped getting asked to do things, eventually.

and the three of them have been blocked since.

tyler came to visit once, which was nice of him. my only ire towards him is that he went along with lisa's narcissistic tendencies and didn't speak up when she was out of line. narcissistic tendencies don't look good on you.

aaron had been my friend for a long time. not anymore. he didn't stand up for me. he didn't reach out or call or text or try to contact any other way. too mormon for his own good. it's obnoxious. and he's a narcissist, too.

and lisa? i hope she stubs her toe and steps on a sliver of glass. that someone she loves and trusts does something so incomprehensibly unfair and unkind that she knows and feels what it's like to lose an entire group of friends. you don't fucking blame someone for not knowing triggers when they just fucking find out about them. for someone who was getting a phd in criminal justice, you really lacked the empathy and understanding to be a good friend. you fucked that up and you treated me so terribly. and for what? because you and the other two stooges who also were narcissists needed someone to take advantage of?

fuck you.

get fucking bent.

#i'm angry #tw religion #tw religious trauma #molly rambles #operation srr #osrr #3000s #3400s #sunshine boy

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ohmym1stake · 2 years

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infodumping about my grey's anatomy blorbos: edition #2

this time around i am midway thru season 10.... my #1 blorbo is about to leave and im worried and scared because of some spoilers i read. but anyways here is my current analysis!

BLORBOS

- meredith grey. we started off rocky but i love and support her wholeheartedly now. has done the least stupid stuff as a doctor! bonus points for that. has gone through so much more than she deserves.

- derek shepherd. has done a lot of stupid shit and is a very stupid and reckless man. but underneath all of that he is a good man who wants to do good and help people. an amazing father!!!! and husband.

- cristina yang. the closest to perfect. i wish she would stop making awful relationship decisions. in my world she is happily married to a woman. a nurse, maybe.

- george o'malley. my perfect perfect son. ohhhhh my son. i am so sorry you died. i wish you had gotten to be happy with callie and have a great little family together and be an amazing surgeon.

- callie torres. brilliant surgeon brilliant woman. a little stupid at times. but i think her strengths are all way stronger than that.

- mark sloan. also very stupid! but in a very charming way. was amazing to watch him grow and change.

- lexie grey. deserved a better exit from the show wtffff. got used as an extra trauma to throw at meredith or something like damn. she was amazing and excellent in her own right. justice for lexiepedia.

- april kepner. BABYYYYYY. amazing and deserves the world, honestly. i have nothing but admiration for her i think.

- heather brooks. AAAAAAGH?!!!!! she was so cute and fun and brought an energy to the show nobody else has! deserved soooo much better.

HALF BLORBOS.

- alex karev. has done too many messy and problematic things to be a full blorbo but like derek he is ultimately a good man who wants to do good. amazing peds surgeon. can't wait to see him as a dad i bet he'll be a little league coach.

- miranda bailey. now normally she would be full blorbo but she's been bothering me a little lately! amazing surgeon! amazing woman! but she needs to get her life more under control or something.

BLORBO BY ASSOCIATION

- jackson avery. i was gonna put him in "it won't work" but it could eventually idk. he's great for april and a good doctor! i don't like his face tho and mostly he kinda bores me

- reed adamson. i think i would have loved her so much if she got to live longer. i think about her and april a lot.

PARTIAL BLORBOS

- addison montgomery. i think i just don't see her enough to be a full blorbo. excellent character tho.

- teddy altman. i think when she comes back on the show she'll get an upgrade but right now she's away and not on my mind. she was pretty damn good tho.

- stephanie edwards. she's really great but right now her plot is kind of just avery. i hope to love her more soon!

EX BLORBOS.

- izzie stevens. used to be my favorite.... she was so great. honestly i blame cancer for everything. Except the denny lvad thing i think that was precancer. but the romance with george that she dropped so fast? and then doing all that crap to alex? unforgivable. i hope she finds happiness in a new life with new people but i want her far away from my blorbos.

IT WILL NEVER WORK BUT I DON'T HATE YOU

- owen hunt. i DO hate his pro-life stance. treated cristina awfully there. but he is also the best love interest she had. and he's a great trauma surgeon, and the best chief i have seen! we just have too many differences to ever truly blorb together.

- arizona robbins. Honestly? most of the time i Do hate her. but i also respect her too much to Anti her. especially her growth after losing her leg! but it fucking sucked for callie. i think if the show had kept mark alive i could have gotten along with her more but she has been awful to callie way too much.

- leah murphy. Mad respect for her crazy but her emotions are also what ruined her. i hope she has a good career elsewhere.

- ben warren. sometimes he's good for bailey sometimes he makes her worse. but i respect him.

I DON'T KNOW

- jo wilson. uhhhh..... she just kinda exists i don't know. sometimes she's good for alex. but i am not very interested in her. does not spark joy.

- charles percy. i think we would have had a very rocky relationship had he lived but i think the way they killed him was very artful? it was one of the best death scenes i have seen.

ANTI BLORBOS.

- richard webber. he has done too much fuckass shit and acted insufferably FAR too many times. way more tolerable as a general surgeon and not as chief but still incredibly irritating.

- preston burke. took advantage of cristina in so many ways and never once truly considered himself and his own actions. selfish, awful man.

- erica hahn. Too bitter. involved emotions in her work in a way i disliked? i think she was never meant to be a main character.

- shane ross. Bruh what the fuckkkkk. he has done way too much wrong. maybe someday if we actually tackle the fact that he kinda Killed heather we can be at least partial or something but ..... i don't want him on this show.

- ellis grey. Noooooope. don't even care about all her groundbreaking work or her disease or whatever. i want nothing to do with her.

- adele webber. i hated her so much and there was no reason to make her so evil and irritating so much??????? the show would have been way more interesting and webber might have been more redeemable if she had been Good.

- sloan riley. this girl pissed me offffff like she went thru it she was having a bad time but ultimately she just ruined shit for mark and lexie and that sucks.

- catherine avery. whenever shes around and is rude to jackson he becomes a temporary blorbo. he doesn't deserve the shit she puts him through. frustrating character overall. But! mad respect to her work as a urologist she always brings interesting cases to the show!

#suzy infodumps #greys

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v-arbellanaris · 2 years

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OK SOME OF MY THOUGHTS ON ABSOLUTION BELOW THE CUT!!!!

qwydion is so relatable. the bit where they were like "she can handle herself" [cuts to her running, screaming, crying] was very me in every fresh da pt of a new game i had EOFDJGKFDJGKDSFGJ. i also love her little "if you don't want him i'll have him" bit. AMAZING

i love roland and lacklon. like genuinely love them sm. theyre so sexy and i love them. 10/10 no complaints nothing to say at all

hira and miri were... interesting. i'm actually not 100% sold on them - mostly bc im a bit tired of bw always doing this kind of shit to their wlw; i also really hope they don't get celene/briala'd in da:d

rezaren and tassia were interesting. i really like how he was structured; he was clearly very inauthentic and manipulative from the start. i think he thinks he has genuine affection for tassia, and hira and neb, but it's clear from his interactions with tassia that it isn't true. he constantly & repeatedly uses her emotions against her to get her to capitulate or to think he's capitulating only to do whatever he wants anyway, without fear of consequence because he can always just keep using her feelings against her. narratively sound decisions from the start with his writing and a really interesting aspect, and you really start to see his face crumble when miri confronts him about the reality that they (her and neb) lived. and then to cement it with neb turning away from him at the end, to refuse to allow rezaren's gaslighting of reality... love that.

i also really love that hira's choice was based off a valid criticism of the inquisition lmao. the idea of the hope people had for change - real change - only to get... nothing. do i think it's realistic for hira to have expected the inquisition to go to war with tevinter? absolutely not, but that's the point. the inquisition was created, banking on the hopes of the people, but ultimately serving its own agenda. this was a criticism of the inquisition that went unchallenged, which is something i wasn't expecting. i'm still not entirely pleased with how hira's decision to ultimately not work with the inquisition was framed (esp w the implication that meredith is going to use the circulum, which requires blood magic sacrifice which seems a bit... out of character for her) but i'm interested in the fact that she was allowed to make that decision -- the decision not to forgive, to decide the oppressed lives of millions in tevinter meant it needed to be brought down -- rather than having bioware cave and have her be swayed in the end.

my gut feeling is still that da4 is going to revolve around pitting elves and mages against each other; specifically by focusing dreadwolf in tevinter, they can bypass any and almost all of the complications that there would be in this kind of argument in the rest of thedas, because mages are (usually) the ruling class in tevinter and specifically practice elven slavery. as you can imagine, i'm not keen on it.

i was also... really quite disappointed by by the presence of a circle tower with templars guarding the outside of it right at the very beginning. that, to me, implies cassandra as divine -- specifically because fairbanks comments on the divine in tevinter being a mage, which implies that the andrastian divine is not a mage. the presence of the circle's continued existence implies bw's canon is cassandra as divine which i expected already lmao. i knew they were just going to reset everything, but gloss over the entire purpose behind the mage-templar war (which funnily enough did not even get mentioned ONCE despite presumably only happening a handful of years ago, with a LOT OF PEOPLE at the time commenting abt how they were terrified of southern thedas becoming tevinter - INCLUDING A TEVINTER ALTUS) because now the story is set in tevinter, where there aren't circles like we're used to, and templars are subservient to mages, because mages make up the imperial chantry.

it was also hysterical to me when they were like qunari are hated and elves are enslaved in tevinter! coming from the guy who STARTED CAMPING OUT IN THE FUCKING EMERALD GRAVES?????? is bioware serious like eogfjkdfgjkdfgj tevinter has many! many problems! acting like anti-non-human sentiment is specific to tevinter is an insane approach and not one most people who don't know anything about orlais or ferelden or the free marches would know! the fuckery of it all...

and OF COURSE. KIRKWALL. CITY OF CHAINS, MY BELOVED. almsot started crying, i miss kirkwall so much SLDFJEODLFKGJ. and MEREDITH!!!!! the implications... like is this before or after the red lyrium idol was taken out of her??? if it was after, does that mean she was AWARE the entire time she was frozen or whatever??? we also get introduced to the idea that blighted wardens can be controlled by corypheus through blight magic - is there a possibility that someone is influencing meredith through the red lyrium? how is she surviving being encased in red lyrium like that? is she subsisting on the blight? WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH KIRKWALL THAT TEMPLARS ARE THIS RESISTANT TO RED LYRIUM? meredith, samson - arguably even cullen who is as far as we know the first templar to have SURVIVED lyrium withdrawal!? isn't varric or hawke supposed to be the viscount???? WHAT IS GOING ON KIRKWALL??? did they just not notice meredith's (NOT!!!!) DEAD BODY disappearing from the gallows courtyard??? how are red templars just HANGING AROUND and BUILDING A BASE THERE??? and hira said she was going to meet a contact AT THE HANGED MAN???? red templars are currently operating out of kirkwall, right under varric's nose?? ISN'T THE INQUISITOR LIVING IN KIRKWALL?? HELLO??

why was rezaren banishing demons into what looked like a portal into HELL? where was neb's soul being retrieved from - the well of all souls or whatever in the fade? or does this imply souls go somewhere else when they die? why does the inquisition want the circulum - is it just a throwaway item with no relevance (like the items from the felicia day webseries), or is it something big? what does the circulum actually do - it's implied that there's other purposes for it!!!!

basically, i'm going insane x

#dragon age #dragon age: absolution #dragon age: absolution spoilers #da absolution #da absolution spoilers

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vault22 · 1 year

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I'm less likely to like main characters in general but Meredith can be so annoying sometimes like she has main character syndrome so bad. The writing constantly picks her out as the most special one out of all the characters even when she's really not, like other characters have more fucked up backgrounds or events in their lives than her and yet she and others refer to her as "dark and twisty" and "not like you happy cheery people" or plenty of other characters are amazing doctors and there's so much more focus on how they're amazing doctors/surgeons but then every character turns to Meredith and is like "you're the best surgeon in this hospital" NO SHE IS NOT even after Christina (the best surgeon) leaves the show there's still better surgeons than meredith idk it's just like. Why are so many main characters in shows like this when they're surrounded by way more interesting characters

ALSO miranda being like "im gonna make you chief of surgery after me you're the best option" HOWWWWW Meredith is not even the best surgeon and also has done unethical things such as messing with the results of a clinical trial?? And ik all the characters have done unprofessional things/let their emotions influence their doctor actions but still the show tries to act like Meredith is the exception and she most definitely isnt

#greys anatomy spoilers

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melusinealarice · 1 year

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The lucky one

Chapter 2: dress up

Chapter one here

Warnings, cursing, hunger hames, death, ❤️‍🔥🩷

“I VOLUNTEER!”

The words leave your lips before you can stop them, you try and keep your composure, to make it look like you’re volunteering for the honor of it. That was the plan you made with your sister incase she was ever reaped. She falls back in line. “Ok another volunteer, wonderful wonderful!” Sadie chirps, “come on up,” you walk to the stage, trying to keep a straight face, to ignore all your emotions, look strong. You had to get in with the carriers.

“And what is your name darling?” Sadie steps aside so you can reach the mic, “Meredith, Yang.” You say, you try to sound as calm and cool as possible, your hands clenched at your sides to keep from shaking. She looks from you to your brother. “So you two are..” “twins. She’s my twin.” Chris finnishes, the betrayal clear in his voice. “So uhm, why would you volunteer, if your brother already did?” She looks between the two of you, a fake smirk on your face. “Well, i couldn’t let him have all the fun and glory now could I?” You say, letting out a laugh at the last part. You look over at him to sew him staring at you. You look away, you cant keep eye contact with him and keep your facade. “Alright then” Sadie says, a look of confusion on her face aa she used all 2 braincells to figure out the puzzle. I step up to my brother to shake his hand. “Our male and female tributes from district 2, Chris and Meredith Yang, the volunteer twins!” She says the shock clear in her voice and on her face. You almost feel proud, capitol people rarely show any emotion on their face, you must really have rattled her.

The two of you are put in separate rooms so that your family may come say their goodbyes. Neither your mother nor father show up as expected. A minute ticks by before the door opens and a peacekeeper brings your sister. “Alexa! Oh god.” You say taking her into your arms. Both of you have done a great job of keeping a straight face, but now you both begin crying. “You did good, you looked strong.” She says pulling away. “You can win this, promise me you’ll win.” She says, determination in her eyes, but underneath you could see the worry. “what about Chris?” You ask, but you know the answer. “Promise me you’ll win.” She repeats. “Okay, okay, i promise.” You say, not because you believe it, but because she needs to hear it, she needs to keep hope. “Promise me you wont starve while Im gone.” Say say pulling her back into a hug. You had no friends, and you weren’t sure Chris’s friends would take care of her. “I promise, im more resourceful than you think.” She says. “Time to go.” The peacekeeper barges in. “Its gonna be okay, i love you,” you say holding her tighter as if it would help. “I love you Mer, you will win, I KNOW IT!” She half says half shouts as the peacekeeper pulls her out.

You walk out with Chris as Sadie escorts you both to the train. She’s talking but you just tune her out. As the door to the train slides open your met with a cool breeze, a nice contrast to the hot summer. Wearing black was an awful idea. You step inside onto sliver floors, the inside of the car is silver with red carpets. The furniture is all wood, the seats are red velvet, the same shade as the carpet. There is a chandelier in the middle of the room that looks like it was made if diamonds. There is more food in this one room than you’ve seen in your whole life. The tables all have some sort of treat on them, you’d think it would all be cold but by some miracle when you go to grab a piece of bread, it warm and soft, as if it had just left the oven. You turn in a slow circle taking it all in. “Woah.” Chris says walking up behind you. You open your mouth the answer but your interrupted by your escort coming in behind you both. “I know! Isn’t it wonderful! All for you, i bet neither of you have seen something like this!” She chirps, god capitol people have no filter. You choose a chair by the window in front of a small coffee table. In the middle is a tray piled high with pastries. Your brother sits beside you. You turn away, not ready to face the reality of it all. Sadie busies herself making tea.

Five minutes go by and the train has started to move, you only noticed when you looked out the window and saw the landscape passing in a blur. You didnt even feel it take off. Your brother begins stuffing his face with all the pastries on the tray, but you have no appetite. Once your escort finishes making her tea she turns back to face you two. She looks almost disgusted by your brother who just continues to stuff food into his mouth. She sits down on the couch in front of you both, a look of expectance on her face. She clears her throat. “So uhm, you two are.. twins, both volunteers.” She says staring, a puzzled look on her face, she clearly expects an explanation. “Yes.” You say, ignoring her glare. “Why?” She asks seemingly exasperated, she is tiered of working to fit the pieces together. You look to your brother. “Well-” he starts but is cut off by the door opening. The victors walk in. First Enobaria, followed by Brutus and.. Clove. Her straight brown hair that stops just below her shoulders suits her well, its shinny and looks soft. Since you two last interacted you’ve grown talker, you used to be the same hight but now she is 5’1 while you are 5’7. You lock eyes with her, her brown eyes, with little golden flecks in them, they are complimented by her rosy skin and pink lips. She has freckles around her nose and cheeks. She still looks as tough as nails, even in her blue dress and gold heels. You didn’t realize how much you missed being friends with her. There was so much you wanted to say, to tell her. You can’t get over how pre- “Mer?” You snap back to reality. You turn to see everyone staring at you. The two victors have sat on the couch on either side of Sadie, Clove stays standing. You look around, “what?” You ask in confusion. “Enoba-” Chris starts but is cut off. “Your strategy?” Enobaria asks. “Id like to know that as-well Mer, you know only one of us comes out right? What the hell were you thinking, volunteering after me?” Chris says the accusation clear in his tone. “What was I thinking? WHAT WAS I THINKING? REALLY? I WAS THINKING OF OUR SISTER, ALEXA, OR DID YOU FORGET ABOUT HER? I KNOW ONLY ONE OF US COMES OUT OF THIS? DO YOU?! I DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE. YOU VOLUNTEERED FOR WHAT? FUN? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!”You scream back, you expect him to be ashamed or hurt, but instead he yells back.” “I WAS THINKING OF ALL OF US MER! YOU, MOM, DAD, ALEXA! ALL OF US, IF I WIN WE COULD HAVE A BETTER LIFE! THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING!” “YOU CAN’T WIN CHRIS! Don’t you get that?” You scream before you can stop yourself, you immediately regret what you said, his face falls. “Wow- you really think that little of me?” He says, bitterness and betrayal in his voice. “I-” you start but he cuts you off, “Oh but your so great, and you have such a better chance at winning.” He says mocking you. “I certainly have a better chance than Alexa, she has no chance! And I do in-fact have a better chance than you, and-” you say but are cut off by Brutus. “ENOUGH, you two are squabbling like sib- well, the point is there is no time for this.” He says, glaring at you.

“Look, im not stupid, or cold, or blood thirsty. Alexa the girl I volunteered for, she’s my half-sister. The plan in case she ever was reaped was for me to volunteer as a carrier.” You tell them. “Ohh that makes so much more sense dear, why didn’t you just say that!” Sadie beams, looking so proud of herself, as if she just solved an equation. We all glare at her, “anyways, what are your skills? Because you have an image, cold, smart and bloodthirsty, but you need to back it up.” Enobaria says staring at you. Now was your time to prove yourself. “Im good with a knife, I don’t miss.” You grab a knife off the table, looking around for a marker. You see a poster of president Snow on the wall across the room. You aim for his eye. You throw. Bullseye. Sadie gasps, offended. You ignore her, “im better at long range combat, Im fast and sneaky, Im a good climber and an okay swimmer. I have a photographic memory. I know every plant like the back of my hand. Im good with a dagger in short range, im not very strong, but I know every nerve to hit and every artery to sever.” You finish, looking at Enobaria for approval. “Ok, well you have the skills, and the look, and the image. All you need to do, is show off your skills in training, get into the carrier pack and keep up your acting. And if it’s anything like your performance at the reaping you’ll do fine.” She says, you exhale a breath you didnt know you were holding in. You look at Brutus, he is looking at Chris. “What about you?” He says to your brother, completely ignoring you. Your brother is taller than you, he’s about 6 feet, he’s muscular and broad. Enobaria gives you what’s suposed to be an apologetic smile, but with her shark teeth looks menacing. “Well im good with a spear and…” he starts talking but you just tune him out, looking to Clove who has taken a seat on the other side of the train. She is looking at you, her expression unreadable. Eventually she turns away, staring out into space. You turn to the window, just ignoring the rest of the world.

When you pull into the capitol station there are so many people there, all looking ridiculous. You step out onto a plat form before being taken to the entrance of the tribute center, a tall round building. You walk in, ignoring the flocks of people around cheering. Sadie takes you all into an elevator where she presses the S button, the elevator starts to descend underground. You assume it’s taking you to meet your prep teams. The elevator opens, there are people swarming around, all dressed like colorful birds, really ugly colorful birds. Two people walk up to the Elevator when you and Chris step out. Sadie and the other victors stay in the elevator and the doors close. You assume they are going up to their floor. You look at the people in-front of you. One a man with bright pink hair in a heart shape, his face is painted white and his eyes are pink, as is his eyeshadow, his fake eyelashes are so long they touch where is eyebrows should be. Drawn over his lips is a bright pink heart. He is dressed in all white with pink shoes. He looks almost like a clown. The other person is a woman, she has black short hair done up in spikes. She has green eyes that almost look synthetic against her black eyeshadow and lipstick. She is covered in piercings and tattoos. She wears a leather jacket and black pants with chains hanging off every inch of her. She looks like a prisoner. Side by side the sight of them almost makes you laugh. “Come on now, dont just stand there.” The clown man says in a higher voice than you could ever manage. He grabs your brother and takes him to a table before closing a curtain. The woman doesn’t say anything but motions for you to follow her. Your taken to a place and she closes the curtain behind her. Two other women walk in, they are identical in face and clothes and hair, except different colors. One has blue hair down to her back. She is wearing a dark blue dress that looks uncomfortable, he glasses blue and white polka dotted. The other, has red hair, but not a natural shade of red, she is wearing the same dress but in red with the same glasses but the polka dots are red and black. “Hello, Im Sapphire!” The red one says, “And Im Ruby!” Says the blue one. Ironic, “lets get to work.” Says the girl who brought you here. She snaps and they start removing your clothes. Before you know it your naked as they circle around you before instructing you to lie down on the cot.

You try to ignore them but everything they do hurts. They start by rinsing you down in almost burning hot water. They the spread something hot and sticky all over your body. It hardens quick and you are incased in a hard substance. They start peeling it off, and with it comes all your hair, and your pretty sure its also taking a layer of your skin. They rinse you down again, this time taking a soap and scrubbing you more raw than you already were. When they finish that they spread a cream that burns at first but quickly soothes your skin. While ruby starts picking at your nails, sapphire starts working on your toes. The other woman starts to wash your hair. The first thing they’ve done that actually feels pleasant. When they are done with your nails and hair they move on to your face. Ruby plucking at your eyebrows while Sapphire goes to work in your teeth. The other woman inspects their work on the rest of you. Then she begins working on your hair again. She starts to dry it while combing through it. When the other two are done grooming your face, and your hair is dry they have you stand up as they flock around you again, this time admiring their work. You feel bare. “Alright, i’ll take you to your stylist, Tigress, Im sure you’ve heard of her. She’s taken quite a liking to you, said she liked your cattiness.” The woman in black says, she leads you to a room and send you in. She turns to leave but you stop her. “Wait!” She turns, “what’s your name?” You ask, unsure why you want to know. “Obsidian.” She says before closing the door behind her.

Only a few minutes pass before your stylist walks in. She has tattooed stripes all over her body, and has has other cosmetic surgery to make her look like a cat. Its.. you fail to find the words. “Hello,” she purrs. “Im tigress, your stylist, stand up for me.” She says, despite her frightening look, her voice is soothing and sweet. She towers over you. Having to bend down just to be eye level. She circles you, and you notice she has a tail, like an actual tail that moves. And her nails resemble claws. You feel vulnerable. “Okay, the style this year is all ball gowns. Im thinking black, a nice contrast to your pale skin. Your hair, we can leave it down and curl it or we can give you a loose side braid, what do you think?” She asks looking to you. She’s actually giving you a choice instead of an order. A small one yes, but it makes you not feel distain towards her. “Well I’ve never had my hair braided.” You say, she smiles “okay then.” She says. “Im thinking black and silver makeup, what do you think?” Another question. You think you actually like her. Well or at least tolerate her. She seems to actually care about your opinion. “Yes, i like that.” You say, and you mean it. “Alright, how are you feeling? Sadie filled me in on the full story, for what it’s worth, i think you’re very brave, and kind.” She says, resting a hand on your shoulder. “Im.. alright, mostly just shocked, it doesn’t feel real.” You say, and you realize, not one time since you got reaped has anyone asked how you felt. You’ve decided, you like tigress.

You’re taken to another room where your dress is brought out, your prep team helps you into it under tigress’s instructions. Then while ruby begins on your makeup, sapphire starts braiding your hair. Obsidian goes over and talks with tigress. Tigress leaves the room, and obsidian begins instructing the other two on what to do.

Eventually they finish and tigress comes back with black heel boots. She puts them on you, and leads all of you out to wear the tribute parade will begin.

You walk out into a hallway where there is another elevator. The inside of the elevator is a mirror and you stare at yourself. The outfit is actually comfortable and you look, pretty. The silver and black making a wonderful contrast. The elevator opens and tigress walks out onto cement towards the horses and carriages. Your prep team stays in the elevator and the doors close. You have to walk fast to catch up to tigress’ long strides. You make it to where your brother is standing beside the carriage. Your horses are beautiful black stallions. Your brother is dressed in a silver and black armored suit. You look around, everyone is in either a dress or suit of their district’s colors. Tigress presses a button on your dress and on your brother’s suit. Immediately the dress looks metallic, switching from black to silver to copper depending on the angle, your brother’s suit does the same. It looks incredible to say the least. Tigress is so talk she towers over your brother. “Ok, the capitol is already invested in your story Meredith, play it out. No waving, no smiling, look like a stone cold bitch.” Enobaria says, herding you both into the carriage. “Wont be hard for her.” Your brother says bluntly, but you ignore him. The anthem begins and the first carriage starts out. On cue your horses begin prancing out. The crowd is screaming, screaming your name, all around you, people are throwing black roses, you catch one and put it in your hair, looking in that direction you give a slight head nod. They love it. They love you.

The ride seems endless, eventually you get to the end of the path and make a circle. The crowd is screaming until president Snow steps up and with a wave of his hand, silences the crowd. God, you want to throw a knife into his real eye. He starts his speech but you tune him out. When it’s done the horses pull out into a side branch you didn’t see before. They slow to a stop and your mentors and stylist are there to greet you.

Thats the end of this chapter, this is gonna be a long series, at least one more chapter till we go into the arena, and we are going all the way to the quarter quell and the revolution. I will make other posts in between chapters, eventual romance and smut. Slow burn ig?

#slow burn #the hunger games #romance #angst #chapter 2

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gins-potter · 2 years

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no context episode 9 thoughts

- man this show doing the absolute most to make Victor sympathetic - Didn’t see that coming - “We’re fucked” yup you summed it up queen bitch - Oh okay that is Mason’s butt - god I love Mia so much - HANS - OH MY GOD THE ACCENT - WAIT HE’S ARRESTING DIMITRI? - HANS WHAT THE FUCK - I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS - oh shit they’re all turning on Tatiana now - Whoops - They found Sasha - Christian’s one friend gonna really end up being evil huh? - Goddamit Diane - don’t fall for it Christian - Go be besties with Meredith and Mia and rose - Goddamit Christian - What is this show and collars? - why is this exactly what I imagined Dimitri’s room to look like - No need to put a shirt on Dimitri - the touch to his heart then his lips I cannot - victorrrrr why you gonna take advantage of lissa like this? - babe you have a magic spirit bond reach out to your fucking friend - Meredith being such a good friend - And Mason just kind of being a dick in response - Dimitri I love you and I get why you’re doing this but also whyyyyy? - Oh my god literally everyone is running away tonight - WHAT WAS THE PHOTO OF? - OH SHIT - MIAAAAA - MEREDITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS IN DANGER STOP MOPING AND GO SAVE HER - Oh shit - Kinda love Rose beating the guardian physically while Lissa (kinda) beats Victor with her magic - Nice symmetry - Mason, Dimitri’s already kinda in a fucked spot, you really gonna rub it in that you got the girl? - Dimitri lowkey rubbing it in right back that Rose would pick him - LOL boys seriously fucked up shit is going on, enough with the pissing contest - ooof the show actually admitting dragoway have a codependency problem - brave - Lissa’s response to rose saying she’s going with Mason is all of us - This whole emotional goodbye scene feels kind of hilarious because like we all been knew it’s not gonna last - Rip Diane - LOL reverse uno Victor - Also stan this queen bitch for constantly changing her mind about who’s ruling next - We stan an indecisive queen - ALBERTA - WHOM THE FUCK IS THAT - WHOM THE FUCK IS IN THE MASK - OH SHIT CHRISTIAN - Christian’s mum going after lissa feels like some oedipus shit - Oh shit Dimitri stuck in some fucking dungeon ass cage while all this shit goes down - AND ROSE AND MASON ARE FUCKING ROAD TRIPPING - Jesus - Why do I feel like it’s Tatiana who broke the wards? - Called it - Who the fuck does she have strung up like a side of meat? - Wait - What - WHAT? - WHAT THE FUCK? - WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? - WHAT IS THAT ENDING IM SO CONFUSED - well thank god i decided to catch up today and not last week is all I’m saying

#va #va tv spoilers #vampire academy

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idk-i-just-really-like-tsc · 8 months

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to this day im deeply offended by greys anatomy playing dancing on my own while meredith watched megan hunt and riggs what the fuck was that emotional violation

#Shonda you will pay.#greys anatomy #IM IN THE FORNER WATCHING YOU KISS HER OOOHHHHHH

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bullet-prooflove · 2 years

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The North Star - Part Five: Ask Me Again (NSFW) - Terry Bruno x Reader

Welcome to mine and @the-hinky-panda The Bronx universe featuring our favs Terry Bruno & Mike Duarte.

This story takes place several years after 'Blood Out'. Terry still lives in the Bronx and works in Manhatten SVU.

Part One: Moments

You fall asleep on the car ride home, Terry’s jacket draped over you, pulled up to your chin. The temperature had dropped by the time you left Meredith’s. He runs hot, he always has but he knows you feel the cold. This thing with Paul, and this case it’s exhausting you. You’ve stayed late the last couple of nights, and he sees the weight pressing down on your shoulders. The robberies are high profile, increasingly violent and now they’ve taken an even darker turn which is how they’ve landed at your feet. The victims are mostly from City Park and the Spencer Estates, the latest now being Morris Park. The homeowners are not Upper East Side rich, but the items that were stolen were heirlooms, past down from generation to generation. Duarte thinks there’s something in that, all these pieces are one of a kind, historical items, each of their stories running so deep you can feel the echo of generations when you look at the pictures.

He turns down Billy Joel on the radio as he pulls up in front of his apartment building. His head tilts towards you and he smiles. You’re curled up in the heated seat, head resting against the window. There’s a contented smile on your features and he loves that, loves the fact you feel comfortable enough with him to let your guard down.

A little wine, some good food, and excellent company can solve all the world’s woes.

“Hey pretty girl,” he says softly into the darkness of the car as he uses gentle fingertips to brush a strand of hair away from your features. “We’re home.”

“Hm…” You grumble, shuffling further down into the confines of his jacket. “Leave me, I’m comfortable here.”

Terry chuckled, his thumb tracing over the apple of your cheek. You leaned into his touch, your lips brushing over the base of his palm.

“I’m not letting you sleep in the car.” He says with a smile as he undoes your seatbelt.

“Always such a hardass.” You mumble, rubbing the back of your wrist across your tired eyes.

“Somebody has to take care of you.”

“You always do.” You told him resolutely. “I trust you more than I trust myself sometimes.”

“Nah, you’ve got good instincts.” Terry said. His fingertips caught the delicate gold chain around your throat, following the trail down to the centre of your chest where that tiny compass resided. “You just need to listen to them.”

“I do.” You told him, your gaze lowering to the compass between his fingertips. “When I’m not sure where I’m headed, I look down at this and think what would Terry do? And then I do the opposite.”

Terry rolled his eyes before releasing the compass.

“My girl, the comedian.”

There was silence for a second as Terry unclasped his own seatbelt and removed the keys from the steering console.

“I do want to move in with you, you know?” You said abruptly, the words spilling from your lips. “It’s just hard for me.”

“I know.” He said, his lips pursing together grimly, his fingers wrapping around the steering wheel. “Meredith told me.”

“I didn’t want you to see me as a victim, the work you do…” You trailed off, swallowing hard against the well of emotion in your chest. “I didn’t want you to have that in your home life too.”

“I don’t see you as a victim.” Terry said inclining his head towards you. “I see you as a survivor. You went through something awful at the hands of someone who was supposed to care about you and you’re still standing. Do you know how much strength it takes to do that?” Terry asked, angling his body towards you. “To get yourself out of that situation. You must have been terrified and you pushed through it. I admire that, I respect that.”

“Look…” Terry said meeting your gaze. His hand reached out to clasp yours, his thumb trailing over the indentation of your knuckles. “Move in with me, don’t move in with me. It doesn’t matter. I just want you feel safe, I want you to be able to sleep at night and know that everything’s going to be ok, that nothing is going to hurt you.”

“I love you; you know that?” You told him, leaning in close and inhaling that intoxicating scent. Your fingertips traced over the line of his jaw, your lips brushing over his softly. “Sometimes I look at you and I wonder how I got so lucky.”

“Luck had nothing to do with it.” Terry said quietly as he kissed you. “The two of us, it’s fate.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ask me again.” You whisper against his lips. You have him at your mercy, your hands threaded in his hair as you straddle his lap, his cock buried deep inside of you. There’s a flush across both of his cheeks, it reminds you of peaches and cream as you arch just a little taking him even deeper. His eyes are wild, locked on yours as you rock just a little coaxing a low moan from his throat. You have him at his peak, standing at the crest of the mountain and you are right there with him. His calloused palms roam up your curve of your back, clasping you close, holding on for dear life.

“Move in with me.”

His voice is husky and rough, his pupils blown as you sink down on him once more, tugging his head back and baring his throat. There’s an intimacy in the gesture, a sense of vulnerability and trust. You love him and this is your way of showing it, of reminding him that he’s yours, he’ll aways be yours.

You tantalise, you tease, you strip away every ounce of his control until he’s desperate and reckless, skin pressed so tightly against yours because he can’t stand not to touch you, not to feel you on every level. You drive him to the precipice, holding him there until the only thing he can focus on is the blurring of heaven and earth as he hits that rapture.

“Please, pretty girl.” He asks as he clings to the edge.

You know what he’s asking, it’s not just the moving in, it’s the commitment. The promise that you’re ready to take the next step, that you’re ready to trust him as much as he trusts you. It’s the final act, the shedding of that fear that sends you hurtling over the edge and plummeting into the sea of ecstasy. It washes over your synapses, drowning you like a wave until the only word on your lips is ‘yes’. You lose track of yourself, but Terry is always there, always grounding you. His hands are on your hips, his mouth smothering yours, drinking down your moans, your words and everything else you can give him as he spills himself inside of you.

You lose yourself in the bliss, the sense of belonging that comes with this man as he kisses you like you’re the only woman in the world. The only one he’s ever truly loved.

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It rains that night. Terry can hear the patter on the bedroom window as he lies in the darkness with your body draped over his. Your face is buried in the hallow of his throat, your arm thrown over his chest. His thumb trails over the curve of your spine, caressing your bare skin underneath the sheets. There was a perfection in this moment. The rhythm of your breathing against his. In the space of twenty-four hours his life has been flipped upside down and now he was considering the future.

There was a house for sale in Meredith’s neighbourhood, a couple of bedrooms, a small yard if you wanted a dog. It needed a little work, but the location was solid, and he had the money to renovate. He knew you would fight him on that point but the two of you would work out the details, you always did.

He thinks of the house with hardwood floors, your Aztec style rug in the living room along with his couch. A king-sized bed to go with the quilt he’d had to buy in the beginning of the relationship because you hoovered up the duvet when you were cold. The matching nightstands, you’d bought from a thrift shop before upcycling them with wallpaper and chalk paint. He wants to build a home with you, a place filled with laughter and love. He wants it to belong to both of you, for you to be able to come home and just relax in a space of your own. He longs for nights where you fall asleep with your head in his lap, a fire burning in the hearth, his fingers stroking through your hair. The two of you content.

This is what he falls asleep thinking about, with you in his arms. The life the two of you will have, the one you’ll create together.

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