#merder breakup

[idk-i-just-really-like-tsc]

this is nearly as saddening as Eddie leaving the 118. as the malec 2x17 breakup. this is BAD. alex and izzie have spoken only a few words! and i already cried. this is like bad im TOO attached. she’s leaving i know and it hurts

[horsetailcurlers2]

the original grey’s anatomy love quadrilateral pairings as taylor swift albums:

merder: speak now (young, exciting, passionate. romantic and jaded at the same time. all about flash in the pan love affairs and on and off relationships. also this was ts’s feral era which i think tracks for meredith. enchanted, sparks fly, haunted, ours, i can see you. bonus: better than revenge, for the meraddek triangle)

addek: red (characterized by nostalgia. half breakup album, half love album. a little all over the place. feels like a retrospective on a relationship. if speak now is young, red is about looking back. and in my head baby addek is very fall. holy ground, all too well, treacherous, i almost do, the last time, sad beautiful tragic, the moment i knew, red.)

maddison: 1989 (New York Album. heartbreaking lyrics disguised as fun light pop songs. makes me think of young maddek friendship, the flirtation before the affair, the two months in new york hiding from their real lives and the gossip, trying to salvage something out of the big mess they made. style, out of the woods, slut!, wildest dreams, wonderland, now that we don’t talk)

meddison: lover. (out of the wreckage type love. or post wreckage type love. passionate but ultimately mature, longing, reflective. after the heartbreak of red, after the drama of 1989, after the reinvention of reputation. cruel summer, the archer, paper rings, lover, miss americana & the heartbreak prince, false god, daylight)

marek: reputation. (guys hear me out. i wasn’t even gonna include this pairing but then i had the insane thought that mark and derek kind of have taylor and karlie energy lmao. derek running across the country to become a flannel wearing wood chopping fisherman and not answering anybody’s calls has the same energy as taylor blacking out her social media. the old derek can’t come to the phone right now. why? cause he’s dead. this is why we can’t have nice things, look what you made me do.

[emily-prentits]

thoughts on the greys s19 finales? s19 kinda underwhelmed me (marina is cute but the baby thing bores me to no end which in turns makes them as a ship dull to me sacrilege i know lol but it’s the truth) and i never got super into yasuda/helm but im kinda loving the possibility of yasuda/jules? idk what’s going on there but the chemistry>>>

ohh boy. so i have a lot of thoughts on the finales LOL. it got really really long and it only aired yesterday so spoilers are under the cut for those that haven't seen!

grey's:

sooo. i hated it. as a writer, as a viewer, i fucking hated it. honestly, i should have come into the fandom earlier because this season being my first to watch live sucked ASS and was more losing than winning. narratively speaking, the vast majority of the writing choices made ZERO sense. not winston/monica (AFTER ALL THE MONMELIA BUILD UP??), not julesmika (sorry, i love them, but they make no narrative sense. unless they're trying for a mertina type relationship which im not sure i entirely like either), and not whatever bullshit was going on with catherine. i know she has played big bad boss lady in the past but honestly this season the writing for her was very... flat? one dimensional? it was almost like she could ONLY be the antagonist and she wasn't allowed to have any other role in this season. i don't think we saw her outside of the hospital at all in the whole 10 episodes. while i DO understand they had to make some necessary cuts because of the shortened length of the season... was it really worth keeping catherine fox in this season if they were going to ruin her?? because i do NOT think so. and what was UP with her firing half the hospital in one episode??? fuck that??

to be completely honest lol, i'm tired of this show and the way they hate their gays. helmika breakup, no monmelia ANYTHING -- making monica hook up with winston after zero build up?? if you want to write a bisexual character this is NOT the way to do it -- schmitt leaving next season, trying to build up the julesmika relationship when midori is leaving in the next season?? i admit they're cute, but there's no way the relationship is sustainable. and it makes me so sad.

and... oh my god don't get me started on mernick. to preface everything i say about them: i think they're cute! genuinely i do! i don't hate them at all, which makes it so much harder when i have to say that they make no sense together long term. meredith is very clearly not as in love with him as he is with her (he said he wanted to marry her, walked out, and she had. zero reaction. to any of it. if anything she kind of treats him like a child?😭) and she only really fights for him when it looks like he's going to leave. she'll only fight for her stability if there's a real threat of losing it. in a way, i suppose it's not surprising. they mirror merder but only in all the bad ways, the way that merder was starry eyed intern x dreamy neurosurgeon turns into the way that mernick is essentially idol x fan. there's no way either of those relationships could have lasted in the long run -- BECAUSE of their foundations. and it makes me so sad bc why is meredith doing the same fucking things after 20 SEASONS. she of ALL the characters deserves to have some character development after all this time.

station 19:

loved it. cried so many times. the episode ended and i walked around feeling so empty. i will admit i have only seen marina spoilers and have not watched any of the seasons until season 7, so my view might be a bit skewed. cried with the marina family (maya's development from season 1 to season 7? 🥹), cried when travis went with vic (someone finally choosing to put first the Put Everyone Else First Person??? hello tears). the flashes forward and back were so interesting, definitely kept me engaged. i was so scared tho when they kept showing the burning gear when andy was missing 😭 i was like they BETTER NOT have killed her. and then all was well <3 more or less.

overall for station 19, i think they really did the best they possibly could have with how many episodes they were given to wrap up the series if it doesn't end up getting picked up. i liked it a lot more than grey's, for sure :)

[sexcromancy]

now that I've seen all of slexie 1.0 on this rewatch it's time to Discuss. talking points: what is working for me there, what is their purpose and effect in the show, and of course, how can I make this about ali? first one is pretty easy; slexie has been one of my favorite couples from my first watch. partially because lexie is my all time favorite greys character (tiny sensitive freak with a very specific set of morals 🖤) and mark is her most important and best love interest, and partially because they have fantastic chemistry. like many greys couples I imagine this is what kept them coming back around to each other on a showrunner level. I also really appreciate what they add to the Greys Conversation About Power Dynamics; I think they are by far the most interesting new addition post-Early Period (s1-4). getting into question 2 now, the slexie power dynamic is all about highlighting and underlining the age- and experience- gaps that first appeared in merder and burkecristina. the age gap in slexie is much more specifically called out and agonized over (by everyone except Lexie) in the beginning of their relationship. this is a fun chance for everyone to reflect on their choices from four seasons ago; almost everyone in the periphery had a similar relationship to varying degrees of success. I especially like that mark and callie have parallel lusting-after-interns struggles, both because it's fun bisexual bestie antics and because callie is the only woman who repeatedly sleeps with her employees. so then there's the experience gap, which was much more often a focus of the plot with merder and burkecristina than it is with slexie. the advantages and punishments that derek and burke bestowed upon Meredith and Cristina were huge plot points, and in my opinion a key factor of the appeal and horror of those relationships. those men TRULY, on screen, no illusions, controlled their lives. and of course the beauty of season 2/3 is that we see it play out both ways. and both women fall into that trap over and over and over with their romantic and career plotlines (Mrs. Derek Shepherd....). that doesn't really happen to Lexie. there's a few episodes where mark favors her, and post-breakup he takes it out on alex, but otherwise it's pretty downplayed. a few possible reasons why: Lexie is not a Main Character the way that MAGIC were; Lexie wasn't ever going to seriously pursue plastics; and mark and Derek are REALLY different characters. specifically, mark has a lot more Going On in terms of layers and motivations, and he evolves more over time. Derek is ambitious, clearheaded, and driven in almost every possible situation, whereas mark takes a much longer path to arrive at the idea that he wants a monogamous future and a family. which brings me to! little Sloan and the breakup. there's some pretty obvious gesture-at-freud stuff going on with little Sloan and Lexie being close in age, and at odds for mark's attention, and Lexie going platinum blonde, etc. but I'm most interested in the specific conversation they have while breaking up. Lexie is very sure, immediately, that she is too young to settle down and start raising a kid with mark (notably, the same reason little Sloan leaves). I like that Lexie doesnt question this decision in the aftermath of the breakup. of course, she does later, but greys as a show is obsessed with the narrative of difference of opinion over childbearing in couples. it's of course leveraged against Cristina in multiple relationships; it's a major conflict for calzona; etc. so it is interesting to see this as such a dealbreaker for slexie, but with relatively little conflict around it. he does not bully her (Derek!) and she does not act like his desires are ridiculous (Arizona!); it is, all in all, one of the most emotionally mature and heartbreaking breakups in the show. they love each other but they're on different paths! and I think it is SO interesting that slexie gets that ending, when so many other couples torture each other trying to prevent it.

[letstalkaboutfics]

Suitcase

FANDOM: Grey's Anatomy

PAIRING: One-sided Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd

RATING: K

Currently a Standalone Song-Fic to 'Suitcase' by Emeli Sande, from the 2012 album 'Our Version of Events.' Also known as what I would prefer to have happened rather than them killing Derek off.

Didn't see it coming

No kind of warning

I can't work out what I've done wrong

Meredith looked around the home that she had shared with Derek. Their dream house. The house they had built together. Their fighting had progressively gotten worse since Derek had taken the job in DC but she had never expected him to actually leave. She would never have expected it. They were Derek and Meredith. They were meant to be together, everyone said so. So why was her husband walking away from their marriage? Why wasn't he fighting for her after he had fought so hard to be with her?

She couldn't understand it. Sure they had fought but they had always made up afterward. She hated being angry at Derek so she just tried not to be for any length of time. They always made up in the end and now he was gone. Amelia wasn't there either. She was alone with her children. How was she meant to explain this to Bailey and Zola? Bailey was far too young to understand but Zola.. How could she explain to the child that they had adopted together that Daddy was gone?

His clothes are missing

But his key's still here

Please somebody tell me what's going on

Amelia had answered her call and she let out a sigh of relief, whatever was happening hadn't affected her friendship with her sister-in-law. Amelia, who was currently staying with Owen, had no idea where her brother was. Or at least she claimed to. Meredith hoped that she wouldn't be lying and her stuff was still at the house, so she was inclined to believe her. What was different, however, was that the remainder of Derek's belongings were in a suitcase by the front door.

Meredith had wept down the phone, truly unable to understand what was happening to her. Derek was her one, right? Derek was the one she was meant to be with. They had survived so much, Addison's arrival in Seattle, her putting her hand on a bomb, her near-death to drowning, several of her friends dying, her mother dying, her step-mother dying, the shooting, the plane crash. They had shared so many experiences and now her husband was walking away from their marriage, it truly felt as though it was breaking her.

My baby's got a suitcase

He's telling me it's too late

Don't nobody, please don't ask me why

Her heart dropped as he stepped back through the door. Had he changed his mind? No, he couldn't have because he didn't bring the rest of his stuff back with him. His hands were empty and he was reaching for his suitcase, not even making eye contact with her.

"Derek." She murmured through the tears, remaining quiet so she didn't wake the kids. "Derek I don't understand."

"It's too late Meredith. Cristina may have told you you're the sun but that doesn't mean you get to be selfish. I can't give up my life, my career, for you. I'm a respected surgeon. I'm an amazing surgeon. I have a reputation and I'm starting to lose it and gain a new one for being unreliable. So, no, Meredith, you don't get to understand." He still didn't make eye contact, unable to bring himself to look at her as he broke her heart, again.

'Cause all I did was love him

But I can't stop him walking

My baby's got a suitcase, please don't ask me why

She didn't understand. She couldn't understand. They had children together. They had talked about having another. They had planned a life together, a future, and now he was going to leave her because she had asked him for a year to get her career together? She felt as though her heart had been ripped out.

"But I love you, Derek." She shouted, instantly regretting her raised volume in case the children woke up, the last thing she wanted for Zola and Bailey was for them to see their parents fighting like this. "You told me you loved me on the phone today, was that a lie?" She asked, tears threatening to spill over once again.

"No, it wasn't, but DC offered me the job again, they won't take no for an answer and I don't want them to. I want to go. I want to give my all to this job and being with you won't let me do that."

What changed so quickly?

Answer me

If you must kill me, at least please tell me why

"I don't get it. Was your plan to leave without a word? Have me worried sick with no idea what to tell our children? Our children, Derek! Did you even think of them when you were planning this?" Her words were filled with hurt now. She couldn't believe this was happening to her. She couldn't believe he could do this without even a word. "What changed between you agreeing to not go to DC and now? I need answers." Her whole body shook with her sobs as she pleaded with him to give her the answers that she felt she deserved from her husband.

"What changed between you agreeing to come to DC and changing your mind?" He asked. "You never gave me a reason for that either, Meredith. I can't keep putting you first. I used to get kicked out of my bed every week for your best friend and never once did I get an apology. So I am done. I am going to DC. My lawyer will have papers drawn up for divorce and we will talk custody when I'm settled."

She stepped closer to him, reaching out to him. She still didn't understand. She just wanted her husband to hold her and tell her that this was all some joke, that he wasn't really leaving.

He said don't touch me, get out the way

Will someone tell me what's going on tonight?

"Don't touch me, Meredith. It'll just make things harder for you." He shied away from her touch, afraid that he might not have the guts to do it, that he might not be able to do what he felt was right for him at this moment. "Get out the way."

"Derek!" She sobbed. "You can't go. You can't walk away from us, we're your family!" She no longer cared if the kids woke up, because she couldn't stay in this house if they weren't going to have Derek there with them. They would go back to her old house, to Alex's house. He never minded.

"I'm sorry, Meredith."

I can't stop my heart leaving through the door

I can't unpack my heart cause he won't look at me anymore

He didn't look at her again as he loaded his bag into his car in the driveway. He was leaving her. She moved through the house to wake Zola and pick up Bailey. They were sleeping at Alex's tonight. She didn't want to be alone.

My baby's got a suitcase

He's telling me it's too late

But don't nobody, please don't ask me why

'Cause all I did was love him

But I can't stop him walking

My baby's got a suitcase but please don't ask me why

[hateuallxoxo]

" Cause you never think that the last time is the last time. You think there will be more. You think you have forever, but you don't."

- Meredith Grey

[thebreakfastgenie]

hi! for the ship question — merder, meredith/cristina, and calzona?

GOD merder. I don't want to love them. I really don't. I think "pick me, choose me, love me" is kinda pathetic and I want to be like girl get over it. But. God help me I do love them. I do think Derek's silent attempt to propose after his breakdown is fucking hilarious and it's supposed to be a dramatic moment and I do think Derek and Meredith are fucking idiots a lot of the time but god do I love watching them.

Meredith/Cristina is one of those ships that I should like but I'm just really meh on. I think that they're so intimate and affectionate with each other that if there was sexual interest it would have manifested, you know? I do think they're life partners, but not romantically. Also Meredith is such a hetty betty (affectionate). I get why people like it and it is hot but I'm not interested.

Calzona broke my baby lesbian heart. In my head they're back together I don't care what anyone says. I think Calzona is really solid because it sort of started out as the token queer ship but ended up getting the same level of drama as any other Grey's ship. I just really liked them together! And I think their breakup was dumb.

[thescribblerqueen]

I need to dump some Grey’s anatomy related thoughts, no apologies.

Amelia in season 16 with her short hair looks almost exactly like Chyler Leigh (Aka Lexie Grey) in Supergirl with her season 2-3 hairstyle. 

Also, Amelia doing the supergirl pose makes me want to write a fic where she dates Kara Danvers.

Ao3 also dared to suggest Arizona Robbins/Alex Danvers to me when no one has ever actually used the tag, now I gotta write a fic, the nerve!

Arizona would get set up on a blind date with Alex and then end up dating her. But then she doesn’t know how to introduce her girlfriend to her friends because she is a doppelgänger of a dead person.

This led to me thinking about a fic where Alex was given up for adoption by Thatcher and Susan because they couldn’t afford twins. They kept Lexie and had Molly when they were financially stable. For angst reasons, Lexie still dies in the plane crash and Alex gets sick and doesn’t want have to seek out her bio family to get treated. Kara and Meredith wouldn’t let that happen though.

Blended AU, Alex Grey-Danvers where Thatcher gets replaced by Jeremiah and Eliza shows at Seattle Grace with a Letter for Meredith from her father. I would probably do this in one-shots for a series.

Non-Supergirl GA Crossovers:

Someone wrote a fic that had Sam Winchester as a doctor at Grey Sloan and now all I can think about is Intern Sam Winchester being called a Moose by the others. People assuming he’s a gentle giant. Sharing a dark and twisty background with Meredith. How Bailey is so protective of her interns and her trying to protect/comfort/hug this 6′4″ giant when she’s 5 foot. Man bun. Background Supernatural mischief.

Dean showing up and they’re mostly hung up on how he’s “so short” (”I’m not short, I’m six foot one.” “Yeah, but your brother is a moose. Where did he get the height from? Are you sure he’s not adopted?”)

Adam, their half brother shows up, and Sam immediately goes to Meredith for advice.

I’ve also read some NCIS crossovers that pair up Tony with Meredith and I’m down for a fic that has them as childhood friends and then Tony moves to Seattle, either during a Merder breakup or after Derek’s death.

I also jokingly thought of a fic where April was really Gibbs’ daughter but then I realized it’d actually work really well.

April repressed the memories of her mother’s murder and doesn’t know she’s adopted. She finds out when she’s having genetic counseling while pregnant with Harriet. 

Reasons I think it would work well: April is big on rules/Gibbs & Shannon have rules, she joined the US army and became a medic, Jackson Gibbs was in the US Army, also fell in love with a Jackson (April would take that as a sign from God), her siblings called her Duckie (more faith) originates from ugly duckling story where the ugly duckling is a swan ie: adopted. Most obvious would be being a redhead like Shannon.

Last crossover idea:

There was this early 2000′s show called 1-800-Missing (Based on Meg Cabot series) that Caterine Scorsone (Amelia) was on playing a character that developed psychic abilities after being struck by lighting.

I don’t remember everything from the show but I think it’d be cool if Amelia had a short lived career as an fbi consulant/agent before her powers disappeared because of her tumor and then became a doctor. 

Of course, once it’s removed the powers come back and she’s in denial about the whole thing. Maybe Derek is still alive and he had no idea this happened.

[garlicnaani]

Inertia- the way you continue to ache for them even after they have left you cold and alone, like the bodies inside the car continue  to move forward to hit the glass  and shatter even after the car  has crashed

S.S.P //inertia//

[drdelphinecormigay]

Rank the Calzona seasons from best to worst?

Similar to the last one! Here goes:

1. 6 - they’re so cute. They’re just so fucking cute. I love them so much. They are the soft, domestic, just generally happy sapphic couple that I always wanted to see in TV and honestly haven’t seen before or since. Excluding the breakup. I love them.

2. 8 - same vibes as above. More mature stage in their relationship and obviously Sofia exists, but same vibe and I love it. Soft (but hot) mums who are mostly just vibing it’s just a good time. Second only bc I wish they could have had Sofia by themselves (though I don’t hate mark so idk)

3. 7 - outside of the Arizona moving to Malawi stuff, they’re again just pretty cute. At the start: wonderful. At the end: it’s a journey but we love it. The wedding happens here so it’s always gonna be a plus (though I did not enjoy merder stealing their thunder in that episode. Wedding is excellent though. I do wish they’d been engaged longer! Also we don’t talk about the musical episode (that’s a lie I’ll talk about it if asked))

4. 5 - love it it’s just short. Only reason why it’s down here.

5. 9 - here’s where we get into ‘least worst’ territory. Also I will say I’ve only watched seasons 9-12 once so I don’t have a completely clear chronology in my head so I may be getting this wrong (pls correct me if so). 9 is least worst bc they are actually somewhat happy and together for some of it. Big no from me re the s9 finale. It’s painful and badly executed (see last post for my opinion on Arizona’s poorly explored trauma) but I like the bit when they’re growing back together again and the episodes where Arizona starts to trust Callie again and feel sexy again are good shit.

6. 10 - second least worst I suppose. They are together for some of it. I hate the Leah stuff so much. Also I don’t like seeing them argue but it’s necessary I suppose.

7. 11 - big ouch divorce ouch, vibes ouch. We be in ouch territory.

8. 12 - this is probably on par with 11. I hate the custody battle with a fiery passion. Callie is quite ooc at so many occasions in this season. Arizona I just want to give a hug to. I could write an essay on my issues with Penny. Just bad vibes.

Thoughts?

[greysforlife]

1-50 :)))

I’m gonna answer the ones I haven’t answered before :) 

1: What are you wearing?Underwear

2: Ever been in love?Once

3: Ever had a terrible breakup?Not one, but 4 (F O U R) with the same person4: How tall are you?5′35: How much do you weigh?50,5kg6: Any tattoos do you want?Nah7: Any piercings that you want?Maybe but I’m not sure yet8: OTP?Merder and Olitz9: Favorite Show?Grey’s Anatomy10: Favorite bands?Idk11: Something you miss?Money12: Favorite song?Gypsy - Lady Gaga14: Zodiac sign?Capricorn15: Hair Color?Brown16: Favorite Quote?“Did you say it? ‘I love you. I don’t ever wanna live without you. You changed my life.’ Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it. But every now and then look around. Drink it in. 'Cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow.”17: Favorite singer?Lady Gaga18: Favorite color?Black19: Loud music or soft?Soft20: Where do you go when you’re sad?I sit on my window21: How long does it take you to shower?About 30 minutes22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?45 minutes23: Ever been in a physical fight?No24: Turn on?Spontaneity25: Turn off?Egocentrism 26: The reason I joined Tumblr?idk I was 1227: Fears?Darkness, bees 29: Last time you cried?Yesterday30: Meaning behind your urlGrey’s anatomy and idk why I chose the forlife part cuz I actually want to change it nowadays 

31: Last book you read?198432: Last song you listened to?Homesick - Dua Lipa33: Last show you watched?Frieds34: Last person you talked to?My father36: Favorite food?Pizza37: Place you want to visit?Boston38: Last place you were?Pilates class39: Do you have a crush?Not right now40: Last time you kissed someone?Saturday?41: Last time you were insulted and what was it?Bitch43: What color shirt are you wearing?I have no shirt on44: What color bottoms are you wearing?Red underwear45: Wearing any bracelets?Nope46: Last sport you played?Neopilates (is it a sport?)47: Last song you sang?Homesick - Dua Lipa48: Last prank call you remember doing?I have no idea49: Last time you hung out with anyone?Yesterday

Thank you sweetie