#mentions of Laurelis

[flowerakatsuka]

💕 kuroba first date outfit

OC OUTFIT DOODLE ASKS!

the place kuroba and karamatsu go on their first date to is a pretty expansive garden and requires a lot of walking so the outfit they go with is on more casual comfy side. they definitely put how comfortable it is to move in to the test after having to outrun the rest of the sextuplets trying to sabotage kara's confession plans.

( also, i envision him wearing the outfit from the 2nd anime paradise cafe collab on that date. )

[inklore]

the lack of oliver quick fics makes me want to dust off my google docs and cook up some filth.

[laurrelise]

me when i meet someone for the first time and i want to say:

“have you ever watched the umbrella academy? it’s a great show, you really should. it’s about a dysfunctional family of childhood superheroes who underwent serious trauma from their emotionally absent father and grow up to be insanely dynamic and interesting individuals who have to save the world but just keep failing over and over. my favorite character is five, a 58 year-old man in the body of his 13 year-old self who can teleport and time travel but got it wrong the first time and had to survive for over 40 years as the last living human in an apocalyptic wasteland before being recruited by an organization that exists outside of time that keeps the space-time continuum in harmony with itself to become the most lethal assassin known to man for not only his learned talents but also his superhuman abilities. he cares about his family more than anything and sacrificed just about everything he’s ever had to save them time and time again to go under-appreciated by everyone around him. he has a witty charm to him, but just about zero social skills due to several decades which he spent alone but is so extremely smart that at times it’s even difficult to conceptualize just what spending time inside his brain would entail. i find his character so complex and interesting that i’m sure if motivated, i could write several essays on each of his arcs, virtues, and traits. the show is also very loved, especially by myself, due to its beautifully selected soundtrack with some of my favorite songs and such beautiful vocals from artists all throughout time including some of the cast members from the show itself. i especially love ‘stormy weather’ covered and recorded by emmy raver-lampman, featured in season one episode eight, as her character, allison hargreeves, drives through a rainstorm to help save her sister while she thinks about how her entire life has been a lie due to the curse that her abilities inevitably cast upon her. the song gives me chills every time i hear it, from its beautiful vintage-string sound to emmy’s phenomenal vocals, it’s truly an underrated classic that i believe should be talked about so much more. i also love ‘stay with me’, covered and recorded by mary j. blige, also featured in season one episode eight, as her character cha-cha, a ruthless time-traveling hitwoman, seeks unfair revenge on her work partner who chose humanity to go live out his last days with the love of his life. both of these songs push the limits of the musical talent and power these women hold. i could truly go on about the show for hours, but i absolutely can’t recommend it enough. the first two seasons are some of my favorite pieces of film i’ve ever had the pleasure of enjoying, as even though the show isn’t artistically-shot or critically acclaimed, it’s so well-written, produced, and acted that it creates a spark of excitement deep within me that my words simply can’t describe.”

�� but i have to say “hi, i’m lauren. nice to meet you.”

[deiaiko]

#20.10 Chat

It was almost midnight when Khun was finally able to lie down on his futon. Rak was already snoring, his limbs sprawled out and touching the floor. Ran was on the other side of the room, still playing with his game console. Khun paid him no mind, he was not in the place to lecture people about their sleeping habits when he went to bed just as late.

Instead, Khun called out his pocket, noticing there was a new message. His heart did a flip upon noticing that it was from Bam.

'Sorry for only replying now, I had a lot on my mind yesterday ;-; I went to Mr. Grace's place today, so I feel a lot better now.'

Khun mulled over the message for a while, debating what he should reply with. Though before he could even type a word, Bam sent him another text.

'It was fun :3 Hyung's teammates are very nice to me :D'

Khun smiled to himself and typed back, 'That's good.'

'Did you know that they have fishes? :O they're so cute!'

Khun imagined how Bam's eyes sparkled whenever he learned something new, and Khun's smile grew wider. 'I have seen his electric eel, though I didn't know he had more.'

"Creepy."

Khun turned his head around and his eyes met with Ran's. His previous smile instantly turned into a scowl.

"It's so weird to see you smile like that," Ran commented. "Who is that? Your crush or something?"

Khun clicked his tongue in annoyance, "None of your business."

Ran shrugged and pulled his blanket to cover himself more, seemingly done with his game and ready to sleep.

Khun checked his pocket again for new messages from Bam. 'Hyung said he will prepare a room at his place for me, so I can come by and stay anytime I want. Ah, and Mr. Agni said he will arrange a game with yours and his team, did you know?'

Khun raised his eyebrow. 'No.'

'Oh.'

And that was it from Bam. Khun tapped his fingers nervously, 'Will you be there?'

There was an icon that let him know that Bam was typing. But for a yes or no question, Bam sure took his time, and it made Khun nervous.

'I don't know.' Was what Bam sent, followed by 'But I want to, if I were given the chance. It'd be nice to be able to see everyone again.'

'One day, we'll get you out of there.' Khun promised.

'It's okay :) Hyung said that you guys will be safer with us staying under FUG. They can back us up if anything happens, since they have lots of assets.'

Khun pursed his lips. 'Are you sure? I thought you hated it there.'

'I just hate Mr Hansung. That guy is such a pain in the ass.'

Khun suppressed a snort. Where did Bam learn such a phrase? Though he had to agree that that coffee addict was really getting on his nerves.

'Ms Hwaryun is fine. I know she cares about me. It's just hard to read her. Master was a little distant, but he has been nice to me lately. Plus now that I can talk to you, and have Hyung with me, it's been more or less okay. I can live with it :)'

Still, I want us to be together again. Khun's fingers hovered over the text that he typed, but then decided to erase it. It felt so selfish and emotional, which he might regret in the morning if he were to send it. 'If you say so,' He sent instead, and yawned. 'I think we should sleep, it's getting late.'

'Alright. Good night, Mr Khun :3'

'I told you, just Khun is fine.'

'Good night, just Khun ;3'

'Very funny. Good Bam, Bam.'

'Haha XD.'

Masterlist

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☕ Buy me coffee ☕

[oh-snapperss]

Medusa: The Much Needed Shift from Monster to Survivor in Percy Jackson (2023)

I am posting this on request of a couple folks! This is a part of a much bigger portfolio I submitted to my college mythology course, so if anything seems abrupt or short, that's why. Enjoy!

Reader discretion advised: the analysis below includes non-explicit discussion of sexual assault and rape.

From the beginning of the Percy Jackson series recently released on Disney+, it was clear that many changes were going to be made throughout the series both from the book series it derived from, and the myths Riordan first retold in his books. One of the most remarkable changes to the series can be found in episode three, and stood out with the dialogue below:

Percy: “So you’re not a monster, what are you then?”

Medusa: “A survivor.” (“We Visit the Garden Gnome Emporium” 23:22)

The decision to portray Medusa in this light is in stark contrast to any other adaptation involving her. Moments before this, Percy tells Grover and Annabeth that he thinks they can trust her, and that his mother had always told him Medusa’s story with the point “She isn’t what people think,” (21:52). This sets the stage for the following conversation, and the idea that Medusa in the myths may have been misunderstood as just another monster of Greek mythology.

In fact, Medusa’s physical appearance in the series is also markedly different from the original myth. Instead of being “monstrous” with wings, tusks of swine, and hair made of hissing snakes (“Medusa in Mythology”), the actress wears a veil over her hairand eyes, a nice dress, and has perfectly done makeup, with red lipstick. Her appearance brings empowerment to Medusa while also humanizing her, and a sense of fear or apprehension to the watcher. The answer to why these changes were made can be found in the relatability Medusa’s story has for today’s victims of rape and a patriarchal society that is unfair to women who have been assaulted.

Myths of Medusa describe her story without much pity: Either Poseidon rapes her in Athena’s temple or they willingly have sex; Athena, enraged, punishes Medusa by turning her into a monster. Poseidon goes unpunished, as he is a god (“Medusa in Mythology.") However, in current day climates, it is impossible not to draw similarities in Medusa’s story to the way victims are treated often in society. The assaulter goes unpunished, while the victim must live with the emotional, physical, and mental harm of such an attack. In fact, from my personal experience and things I have seen in the tattoo parlor I have gotten tattoos from, some victims have chosen to get tattoos of Medusa as a sign of being a survivor of such an assault. Thus, this brings back the director’s choice to portray Medusa differently in Percy Jackson than before.

Another notable difference in Medusa’s behavior is that she does not immediately attack Percy, Annabeth, and Grover (who would be considered the heroes of the story), instead offering them lunch and her perspective on what happened to her originally. By allowing Medusa the chance to speak her perspective on what happened to her, the directors of the show push for a world where women and victims are able to speak. With the show being watched by many younger teens and children, in addition to adults, an important message is carried to watchers, and her story is handled in a way that any victim watching can hear the message that they are not alone.

The director’s decision to show Medusa in this other light comes to a conclusion with Percy refusing the chance to betray his friends for her (28:03) a few minutes later, and from there the story aligns closer to the myth it derived from. The fight between the heroes and Medusa is not long, ending after Annabeth puts her hat of invisibility on Medusa, and Percy beheads her. Visually, this fight is markedly different to the myth—Medusa’s beheading is done with a hat of invisibility on, so there is no blood or gore shown (31:41). This change can easily be explained by the shows rating of TV-PG, combined with the fact that most likely, Disney would not have wanted such a gore filled scene on their platform.

Overall, the changes to Medusa’s story are headed in a positive direction much needed in the current climate of society, despite not staying exactly true to the source material.

Works Cited

“Medusa in Greek Mythology.” Greek Legends and Myths, https://www.greeklegendsandmyths.com/medusa.html. Accessed 20 March 2024.

“We Visit the Garden Gnome Emporium.” Percy Jackson and the Olympians, season 1, episode 3, Disney+, December 26, 2023. Disney, https://www.disneyplus.com/play/7a078c8a-2a03-4171-a647-a4f5ed12e738.

[tressashaw]

For: Laure Stephens Where: Westriver Gardens When: Midnight

It's late. Too late. Assisstant Medical Examiner is maybe a dumb job title, because the actual Medical Examiner is never the one on call, and does more paperwork than anything. It's Tressa putting hours in at the morgue. It's Tressa doing calls for the PD at two in the morning. "Eesh, buddy, what happened to you?"

It's not like he's going to answer, but it doesn't stop her asking as she sets down her kit at the scene of, well, something. She can hear the PD nearby, asking the teens playing midnight tonsil hockey what the hell they were doing in Westriver this late at night, but really, come on, dude, everyone knows.

"The real question is what's your story, pal." She muses to herself, gloving up and using the tip of a probe to tilt the man's face up. Torn up real good at the throat, and at a glance he's got a broken leg. She hears somebody coming up behind her, but assuming it's not whatever tore up Mr. Doe here, she continues her duties, opening her case to get ready to grab samples.

=== @laurestcphens

[cowboylarries]

dillon cmon give me the details

laur he was literally so hot i can’t get over it and i can’t think about anything else right now and i wish i got more pictures of him all sweaty

[selkiemaidenfae]

books read in 2024: the graces by laure eve

✧

"cut her in half and you'll see 'grace' all the way through. like rock candy."

this book. this fucking book.

i loved it at first. i loved river as a protagonist in all her complex, frustrating glory. i loved the mystery and the magic.

but the ending just ruined it for me. the reveal that the graces are just as awful and cruel as people said, especially to river and marcus, and they just get away with it?? and author justifies it??

fuck that. laure eve is incredibly talented but i'll never read another book by her, i was so mad at this book.

[forzalando]

you were in my dream

request: random playlist shuffle request from @maplesyrupsainz!! maddie - i already told you this but i wrote this because i love you hahaha and maybe i will add carlos back into the list of drivers i write for. tbd. we will see what the people think. i hope you like it, love you lots💛💛 song: you were in my dream by laur elle summary: you have a not-so-friendly dream about your best friend. enough said. pairing: carlos sainz x f!reader wc: 1.5k warnings: cursing, descriptions of steamy makeout, 17+

Carlos was, to put it mildly, very confused.

He had passed you a total of 17 times today while running around for media duties, (yes, he was counting) and each time you turned away from him as if he was a complete and total stranger.

You weren’t in a mood – he could see you chatting with Charles, briefly hugging Oscar, laughing with Lando and Max, all of which, admittedly, left a piercing pain in his chest and a disgusting jealous feeling swirling in his stomach.

After another hour without a word from you, Carlos made his way round to every person he’d seen you speak to that day – hoping that they might have some insight into what was going on.

Lando, of course, smiled as he saw his friend approaching, but soon noticed the frown on his face as he walked closer.

“Is she angry with me?” Carlos exhaled, not even a hello or how are you for his close friend.

“Is who angry with you?”

“Y/N! She has been ignoring me all day – I saw her with you, with Charles, with Oscar, with every person around. But me? It’s like I don’t exist.”

“She didn’t say anything specifically but now that you mention it, she did seem a bit flustered when I asked if she knew where you were.”

“Ay dios, what did I do? I walked her to her room last night after dinner and everything was perfectly fine!”

Meanwhile, you were hiding in the back of the Ferrari garage, a fairly secluded spot that you’d discovered earlier in the day. Successfully? Not at all – it only took Alexandra three minutes to find you sitting in a corner with a Ferrari jacket haphazardly thrown over your frame. She’d tried to coax you out, but only when Leo wiggled his way into your lap did you show any signs of life and break your silence to coo at the perfect little dog.

“There she is,” Alex smiled. “Now, tell me and Leo what you are doing hiding over here all by yourself?”

You groaned and handed Leo over to his Mama, using your now free hands to hide your heating face. “Oh god, I should’ve just stayed at the hotel. I thought I would be fine, this is so embarrassing.”

“Que s'est-il passé? You didn’t seem unwell at dinner last night, did you get sick in your room?”

Alex’s frantic mix of French and English and her worried expression made you feel even more guilty – this was dramatic, so beyond dramatic, but you were in a downward spiral and maybe she was just what you needed to yank yourself out of it.

“No, I…I had a dream,” you muttered. “It’s so stupid, but I don’t know what to do! How to act! I’m genuinely freaking the fuck out, Alex.”

“A nightmare? Are you afraid? Oh, Y/N, that’s not stupid but you’re safe here. Do you want me to go get Carlos? He’ll want to know what’s going on – ”

“NO,” you shouted too forcefully. “No, please don’t go get him, I can’t even look at him right now. You have one dream about your best friend and suddenly you can’t function.”

“You dreamt about Carlos? I don’t understand, what did you – ” Alex’s voice trailed off, a look of realization crossing her face.

“Oh, oh,” she smirked. “Y/N, you naughty girl!”

“It wasn’t even like that, we were just making out on his couch, ok heavily making out on his couch, and I can’t look at him without my stomach flipping or fearing I’m going to start drooling. He’s one of my closest friends, I’ve never thought about him like…that.”

“Oh come on,” she rolled her eyes. “Never? Not once? In three years of friendship?”

“Maybe once or twice,” you mumbled guiltily. “God, what’s wrong with me? I can’t stop thinking about it – his arms, his mouth, everything, it felt so real.”

“Is now a good time to tell you that I think you have feelings for him and you’ve been pushing them down? Because you think he doesn’t feel the same? And this dream is just everything spilling over?”

Your mouth fell open and you scrambled for a retort – anything to say back to her to refute her claims, but all you could do was sigh and shake your head.

“I’m so pathetic,” you grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Mi sol, don’t say such things,” a familiar voice chimed from behind you. Before you could get to your feet to make an excuse and bolt, Carlos plopped down next to you. “Now, no more running away from me, ¿bueno?”

“I’ll find you later,” Alex called out sweetly as she hurried away, Leo’s ears flopping comically as he barked back at you.

The heat of Carlos’s body next to yours made your stomach turn, his arms so close to you, almost as close as they were when they were wrapped around your body, holding you tightly against his chest, heavy breathing in your ear and –

“Y/N? Are you listening?” He nudged his shoulder against yours lightly, ripping the mental image away from you.

“Yes, I’m sorry, what were you saying?”

“I want to know why you’ve been avoiding me. Why are you so angry with me?”

Your face fell instantly – guilt creeping in and taking over from the other feelings. “Oh, Carlos, I’m not angry with you. I had a dream and you were in it but it’s unimportant, I was being…ridiculous. I’m sorry, mi querido.”

Carlos brightened at the use of the term of endearment – not uncommon at all between the two of you and a sure sign that everything was fine.

“You don’t have to apologize. If I made you uncomfortable in your dream and you needed space, that is perfectly fine. I just wish I would have known before I panicked.”

“No, no, you didn’t make me uncomfortable, you never could.”

“Well, then what was I doing?”

You swore the garage grew ten degrees hotter – a bead of sweat forming on your neck where hickeys would have been if your dream had been as real as it felt. A heavy swallow and a deep exhale, you looked everywhere but at him, suddenly intensely interested in the spare tires to your right.

“Y/N,” he whispered, his breath hot on your neck, his hand cupping your chin to turn your head gently towards him. “Dime.”

All it took was one quick flicker of your eyes down to his lips for a smirk to spread across his face. Before you could even breathe, his nose was bumping against yours and the closeness of him made your head spin. 

He kissed you so softly, gently, his hand cupping your face and his thumb gently rubbing back and forth. So different from what you’d shared in the depths of your mind the night before but surpassing it exponentially in every conceivable way – dreams would never come close to this, never compare to the reality in front of you.

A shout from somewhere in the garage caused the two of you to jolt apart, the sudden realization of where you were sinking in quickly. 

“How did I compare?” He asked cheekily, rising to his feet and offering a hand to pull you up after him. 

Your head was still spinning - your chest heaving from a fairly innocent kiss, god, you were wrecked. Carlos, however, took your silence as the exact opposite - doubt crept into his mind, worried that he’d read everything wrong and let his own feelings guide his actions. 

His sweet, doe brown eyes searched yours for something, anything, to ease his panic. And then, you smiled - wide, bright, blinding, and lovesick. 

“You were perfect,” you finally answered, a sigh of relief leaving Carlos at the sound of your voice. “But, I would’ve preferred the dream setting. Comfortable couch, no prying eyes, no Ferrari polo, among other things.”

“Other things?” Carlos pressed, a wicked grin on his face.

“Yeah, you told me you loved me,” you whispered.

His lips morphed into a soft smile - gone was the playfulness and tension, replaced by tenderness, adoration, and something saccharine. You felt his fingers brushing against yours and reached out to let him grasp your hand in his, the warmth of his palm grounding you in this moment.

“I can do that,” he admitted bashfully. “But, not here. You deserve more than that. When I’m done we can go back to the hotel, grab dinner, and…talk.”

You smirked, mimicking his tone from before. “Talk?” 

“Among other things.”

The sound of your laughter followed Carlos as he walked towards his team, urging them respectfully to get him through the rest of his day as quickly as possible.

[flowerakatsuka]

OKAY — i'm awake and ate some food, it's time to share some random tidbits about kuroba! ( also gonna use this as an excuse to drop their toyhouse page since i just made it public. )

yotsubana florals has a dedicated matsugram account that's run by nana and has a pretty decent following, reels of them making themed arrangements get a lot of traction. kuroba themself does have a personal account that they post to regularly, but they post as if their bearded dragon, king, is the one running it, ( straycatj style. ) they mostly share pictures of king, plants, or food, but they'll occasionally post ootds, ( usually with their face covered by a clover emoji. they also ask nana to block out their face in anything posted to the shop's page. )

they grew up in the kirigaoka suburb of the midori-ku ward in yokohama. the area is known for having a lot of parks, which kuroba spent a lot of their childhood exploring. they would pretend to be a plant researcher and scribble down notes about what they found in a little notebook they carried with them. it also wasn't uncommon for them to bring home " new friends ' from their adventures like lizards or beetles, much to her older sister's displeasure. they used to be a pretty rambunctious little kid, but started to mellow out by the time they turned 10. ( sorta, they still have their moments. )

the clover clip they wear in their oso-kun & 3rd year high school designs was a gift from their grandmother, hibiki. they lost it some time during middle school, but hibiki later found it while deep cleaning their apartment before they started their 3rd year. kuroba doesn't really wear it nowadays, but it's still very precious to them so they keep it tucked in their wallet. the necklace they wear also used to belong to their grandmother and is actually a locket.

kuroba's a pretty detail-oriented person, which is pretty useful in their line of work, but it also shows up in their daily interactions with people. they're definitely the type to pick up on a small detail about someone and remember it really well, ( like a food they like or if they get cold easily, ) as well casually fix something off about someone's appearance while talking ( like smoothing out a fly-away hair or picking a piece of thread off a shirt. ) you can imagine how conversations between ichimatsu and them go with how much cat hair he must be covered in.

they have a tendency to show a lot of physical affection with people they're very close with, typically by leaning on them or patting their heads. they usually playfully roughhouse with their brother, ( and by extension, some of the sextuplets, ) and will " show him affection " by putting him into a headlock.

kuroba often treats the rest of the sextuplets similarly to how they treat their younger brother, keshiki — which is usually them being kinda snarky and stern, but still very caring and reliable. todomatsu gets the brunt of this treatment as the youngest, but he just perceives this as kuro bullying him, ( which they kinda are. lovingly, though. )

besides plants & floriography, another big interest they have is reptiles. they really love learning about them and can rattle off a bunch of fun facts about them. they'll also pick up a snake without even flinching and start baby-talking it. if you go to the zoo with kuroba, expect to have your ass immediately dragged to the reptile room.

while they're more likely to read non-fiction about their main interests, kuroba reads manga occasionally, too. they mainly gravitate towards slice-of-life josei, especially ones about cooking, ( it's wish fulfillment for them since they can't fucking cook. ) their mom reads manga as a hobby, as well, and they share recs with each other. also, they're a lowkey himedanshi.

if they don't have pre-made plans or important errands to run, kuroba'll usually spend most of their days off cooped up in their apartment so they can recuperate from all the socializing they have to do on a daily basis. they adore their job, but it can still be prettying draining for them. they like to read, listen to music, give the plants in their apartment some tlc, and hang out with king to help them recharge. they also sometimes go out and get some coffee if they have enough energy for it, ( not sutabaa, though. they prefer locally owned coffee shops or cafes. )

they usually play japanese bossa nova over the speakers in their shop since it was their grandmother's favorite music genre and they like it quite a lot themself. they're also really fond of alternative rock, city pop, new wave, and eurobeat.

kuroba's signature color is olive green, but i usually see warm neutrals as their secondary colors, ( like shades of brown & cream. ) therefore, they're also coffee-coded to me.

their favorite flowers are wisteria, hydrangeas, pansies, and forget-me-nots. they're very drawn towards true blue flowers since they're aren't very common.

kuroba isn't a particularly heavy drinker, but will drink socially and only gets drunk when they're really stressed or upset. they can handle their alcohol pretty well, but when they do get wasted, they lose their typical filter and can get kinda intense with how they express their emotions. they like citrusy mixed drinks, plum wine, and prefer kirin beer over sapporo.

i need a nap after the day i've had, but someone remind me to infodump about kuroba a bit when i get up.

[inklore]

🫶🏽 — five topics tag!

rules: list five topics you can talk about for at least an hour without any preparation.

kpop (bts!!!!!)

the sims

killing eve

traumaaaa

thg series

tysm to @wildemaven for the tag <3 i tag: @refined-by-fire, @pxgeturner, @pedrito-friskito, @moonlight-prose, @navybrat817, @thyme-in-a-bubble, @stargirlfics, @wroteclassicaly @oncasette.

[harrysfolklore]

my favorite fics, vol 6

it’s been a while since the last time i posted a fic rec masterpost ! here are my favorite fics i’ve read recently (i’m doing one for tom soon) enjoy !

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

fluff:

perception by @goldengalore

harry styles talking about his girlfriend for 16 minutes by @astranva

afterparty by @chaoticloving

favorite holiday by @tsumtsumrry (has smut)

knight in shinning armor by @fetusharryluvr

just called to say i love you by @harrywritingsbyme

bad habit by @ifancyharry

maple syrup, coffee, pancakes for two by @itsallyscorner

when you fall in love by @avatar-anna

serendipity by @adorebeaa (has smut and angst)

pinky swear by @inyourhaven

italy by @bonesandchalamet

5 ways harry mentions you on stage by @glitteredrry

my love, we were in paris by @alonetimelover

sweet nothings by @pancakes4two

get enough by @theshyspy

this insta blurb by @llvstrous099

dynamic by @mydearesthrry

the pact by @harryslittlefreakk

oh, i think she said by @justmeinatree

routines by @elioslover

coffee talk by @itsallyscorner

finally a dad by @flwrsforu

bo peep by @haarrrys

this by @harryyskiwii

angst:

little freak by @goldenbuckyyy

i wish i could change by @cowboy-like-mee

argument by @secret-rendezvous1d

don’t let me down by @itsprashimusic

false god by @sleepyhollands

airport chaos by @musicforastylesrestaurant

this by @alonetimelover

if you love something by @writingsfromhome

home is a feeling by @adore-laur

smut:

italian sun by @harry-on-broadway

no guarantee by @allofurlove

we fight, we make up by @strawnarrries

bad idea, right? by @atharryshouse

private show by @stylesharrys

bad idea right by @lukesaprince

under his bed by @gurugirl

tease by @eveningepiphany

just a little taste by @stylescine

series:

begin again by @sweetcherryharry

ifall for harry by @freedomfireflies

the divorce by @butdaddyilovehim-hs

stages of grief by @missmielyhoran

somebody else by @harrystylescherry

ms honey by @solarisstyles

[wandascrush]

Breath of fresh air

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Pregnancy, kissing, small hurt, mention of injuries

It was so nice to finally get outside and have some fresh air. The last few days you were stuck looking out the bay window as it poured and poured. Natasha, your wife and soon to be mother of your child, was extremely overprotective and made sure while she was gone that Laura watched over you from time to time.

The Barton’s only lived less than one acre over, on a small but beautiful farm of their own with their 3 mini Barton’s. They had actually given you and Natasha the idea to live off the grid, and who better to have as neighbors than the people who had become your guys’ family.

Especially Laura, she was one of your closest confidants and you loved causing chaos with her. Being a recent agent-out-of-commission due to your pregnancy was different, especially not training as hard and sleeping in, but as your symptoms really kicked up, you were grateful for the break. Recently entering the second trimester had not been easy. It was nice having someone like Laura to talk to, who really understood.

Natasha was scheduled to come back next Wednesday, and God were you ready for her to be home. It was hard to sleep without her soft touch, the Russian lullabies she sang you and the baby every night, and the way she'd gently rest her hand on your back throughout the day as a reminder she's there for you. Sometimes she'd come home with baby clothes or an extra teddy bear she'd seen for the baby's nursery, and in those moments there was no doubt in your mind that she’d make the most beautiful mother.

As you were drinking your tea and reading your favorite piece of poetry, an extremely loud whirring sound caught your attention. Using your book as a shield from the sun, you looked up to the sky to find the Quinjet making a rocky landing in your field, swaying the grass in waves. Almost immediately, Laura came out of her house with her kids trailing behind, worry and confusion written all over their faces. You went to each others sides, "What's going on Laur? Are they okay?"

"I'm sure their fine, relax, it's gonna be okay," but you heard the breathlessness in her voice as she held you close and away from the unpredictable helicopter in the middle of your flower field.

The door to the jet slid open and revealed a group of ruffed up, exhausted Avengers. The whole pack was there from first glance: Tony, Steve, Clint, Fury, Maria, Thor, Bruce, but no- oh there's Natasha. You and Laura exhaled at the same time, half walking and half skipping to Natasha and Clint. Finally, landing in her arms again. Her hold was tender but tight, tighter than ever as she closed her tired eyes and breathed in your scent and held the back of your head. The team gawked at you and Laura like alien specimens in your lovers arms.

"I'm just gonna say it- who the hell are you two?" Of course, Tony was the one to break the sweet moment.

Natasha let out a mix of a sigh and a chuckle, before sharing a glance with Clint. "This, Tony, is my wife Y/N. Y/N  - the Avengers, Avengers - Y/N. There, the formalities are over."  Clint soon did the same with Laura.

The sound of leather could be heard crunching as Fury walked toward you and Laura, embracing you two too hard, nearly making you cough. You gently reached up to give him a hug, "Nice to see you too Nick." 

"HOW DO THESE TWO KNOW NICK?" Poor Bruce, he looked like he was trying to solve a math problem.

"We're agents with Shield, dipshit. I'm just on leave due to-," you gestured down to your visible pregnant belly, "and the fact that Nick is my boss so technically I have to listen to him. But Laura and I have actually known all of you for years, which is how we met Clint and Natasha...unfortunately."  You chuckled when Nat lightly shoved your arm.

Good ol' Steve Rogers was the first to stick out his arm, "It’s a pleasure, Miss." His grip was firm, but not too hard. You smiled up at him kindly, "Nice to meet you too, Rogers. And call me Y/N, are you boys hungry?"

A few hours later you were in the kitchen, freshly showered and bandaged Avengers sitting at your dining room table, causing a ruckus and playing poker. You loved the sound of a full house and conversations mixing together to make one babble of laughing, foul mouthed heroes. It was music to your ears.

A gentle figure hugged you from behind while you were over the sink, placing their soft hands on your belly, you closed your eyes for a second and sighed happily.

“Missed me much sweetheart?” 

“You know I did,” you craned your neck to give her a gentle kiss on the temple.

That night, as the worlds mightiest slept in your spare bunks and sleeping bags, you fell asleep safe and sound with Natasha’s arm around you and your baby-to-be.

[hyunebunx]

maybe it's not our fault - chapter 01

── synopsis: after a nasty breakup that’s left you completely shattered, you’re set on giving up on love forever. That is until, in a surprising turn of events, your respective best friends start dating and one of their main goals is to restore the peace in your broken relationship. Will their plan succeed? Will they manage to play cupid and get you and your high school sweetheart back together, or will it all backfire and result in the end of their own love story?

There is only one way to find out. If only your beloved’s heart wasn’t already broken beyond repair…

╰─▸ ❝ pairing: hyunjin x fem!reader

╰─▸ ❝ content: exes to lovers, angst, mutual pining, fluff, suggestive themes, drama and heartbreak, jock!hyunjin who is captain of the uni's football team + dance major!hyunjin, college au, lack of communication.

╰─▸ ❝ word count: 10k

a/n: it's here!! special thank you to my croissant baby laure @byunfirstlady (this wouldn't be a me story if i didn't mention her somehow fgfdgh) for reading this for me before posting!! since this is the first chapter, things might feel a little slow, but dw, it will all pick up soon! enjoy <33 and do let me know your thoughts after reading <3

“That is not going to fit!”

He scoffs, already annoyed. “Yes, it is! Just move over a little.”

“A little? I’m already stretched the fuck out! What more do you want from me?”

“Seohyun, I swear to fucking God – “

She yelps, most likely cramping. “Just pull it out, you dumbass – “

“What the hell is going on in here?”

You and Chan stop dead in your tracks, confused at the scene currently playing out in front of your very eyes. You were gone downstairs for less than ten minutes to get the rest of your stuff, with you and Chan carrying a box each that held the essentials to ensure this move went smoothly. And in that time frame, your two other best friends have already managed to be at each other’s throats.

The front door of your apartment was wide open, with dumb and dumber currently looking like two deers caught in headlights on opposite sides, separated by an old armchair whose springs had become a death trap over the years. Last year, when you held parties here, someone was always left standing — it was either the cursed chair or the floor, with most guests picking the latter once they were drunk enough.

“Uh, hi?” Jisung greets, forcing a smile onto boyish features that haven’t changed much since you met almost seven years ago, in high school.

Bewiled, you set the box down by Chan’s feet and approach. “Are you guys, okay? What happened?”

Whistling, Jisung tries to pretend he has everything under control. He doesn’t, he never does, that’s just the type of guy he was. “Duh, we’re fantastic! Everything is under control, don’t even – “

Called it.

“For the love of god, just shut up and let them help us already!” Seohyun barks from the other side, prompting you to peek in to see her straighten her posture, rubbing her wrists in obvious discomfort. With a sigh and a glare from Jisung who steps back to allow Chan to take his place, she explains. “We were trying to get this chair out to make room for the new one.”

Chuckling, Chan inspects the door frame while you pass Seohyun one of the boxes right over the ugly, red chair that’s seen better days. “And it got stuck?”

“Yes, because Jisung didn’t want to listen – “

“Or maybe because you started pushing when I wasn’t ready, like an idiot.” He counters instantly, never one to back out from a fight instigated by Seohyun. Not to be fooled, these two were as close as can be, the bickering reflective of their special bond.

You and Chan share a look as they start again, amusement clear in gentle, doe eyes that have comforted you numerous times over the years. Meeting back in the summer before high school, you and Chan have been attached at the hip ever since, clicking as pre-teens and growing up together, maturing down the same path that’s led you to the same university, and even the same major you also shared with Jisung. Music production has always been a passion of yours, so getting to fulfil that dream with your absolute best friend by your side was a blessing you couldn’t be more thankful for.

“Alright.” Chan stops their bickering, one hand landing on Jisung’s shoulder to get his attention. “Stand on it.”

“Pardon?” Jisung blinks at him, as confused as you and Seohyun were, not sure he heard Chan right.

Smiling, Chan squeezes his shoulder. “So, you can step on the backrest and make it fall over. It will be easier to move afterwards.”

“You think so?” He asks, biting down on his bottom lip, not confident in the slightest.

Your best friend nods, giving his bottom an encouraging pat. “Positively. Now go on, I don’t want to spend my whole day in this hallway.”

Seohyun scrambles back, unwilling to get caught in between Jisung and the chair, giving him enough room to do what he must to free her exit.

Watching the whole scene unfold has you smiling from ear to ear, struggling to keep your laughter at bay once Jisung realizes the task isn’t as dangerous as he expected. It’s anticlimactic, more than anything, as he gets on top of the chair to step on the backrest, going down slowly without even losing his balance.

He blinks, barely realizing it’s over before making eye contact with Seohyun who bursts out laughing like she’s been holding it in since the beginning. The three of you join in quickly after, your delight bouncing off the hallway walls and lifting the spirits tremendously.

After all, nobody in existence was ever excited for summer to end and classes to start again, with a new, even more demanding schedule than last year. You were in your third year now and things were bound to get difficult the closer you got to graduating.

This silly moment was exactly what you needed to start the new year right, sure it would become a core memory later down the line when you’d all be working adults, with even more responsibilities and nonexistent free time. The sight of Chan dragging the armchair out, without any difficulty whatsoever as Jisung and Seohyun’s jaws hit the floor, incredulous he didn’t struggle like they did, was sure to bring a smile to your face for years to come.

When your only access to the apartment was finally free, the four of you gathered inside with the remaining boxes.

“You weren’t kidding, you do have all of your stuff here.” Seohyun hums, scanning her surroundings, and her new home. The apartment was yours. You moved in just last year and you’ve lived by yourself until now, when you welcomed her with open arms and a little too much excitement.

“Yeah.” You nod, already moving around to put the scattered things back in their rightful places. “Sorry about the mess. I didn’t bother cleaning up before leaving.”

The living room was fine – your bedroom was the one that suffered the most, already dreading the thought of having to dig through all the mess to find most of your things.

The apartment was a gift from your parents, after successfully finishing your first year of university living in a dorm. Sure, having your own space was great, but you’d never trade that first year for anything in the world. That’s where you meet Seohyun after all, growing closer and closer with every sleepless night you spent together giggling and talking about everything under the sun, not feeling the hours tick by until one of your alarms would ring, signalling the start of a new day.

It was big, too spacious for only one person to live in, with two bedrooms and a bathroom straight out of an interior design magazine. Even though Seohyun didn’t move in until now, you were never truly alone with Jisung and Chris living right next door. Someone was always keeping you company, which you were thankful for, in more ways than one.

Already moving about like they owned the place, Chris and Jisung were helping you tidy up, with the latter moving to check for anything rotten in the kitchen. With four pairs of hands on deck, it didn’t take more than fifteen minutes for everything to be back to normal, leaving you to take care of the dusting.

“Alright.” Chan stands, carrying two trash bags. “Ji, let’s go get the armchair.”

Jisung follows before Seohyun calls after them. “Right, is it in your car?”

“I thought it was in yours?” He turns around, stopping in the doorway while Chan is already busy calling the elevator, further away.

You see her brows furrow, setting the duster down before grabbing her car keys. “Nope.”

The ding of the elevator gets your attention, and they share a look before hurrying after Chan, in search of said armchair, the door closing behind them with a quiet thud. You lived high up, on the 10th floor – nobody was ever willing to take the stairs and waste that much time.

And so, in the blink of an eye, you are left alone in the apartment that held so many of your memories, beautiful moments you wouldn’t trade even in exchange for forgetting the sad ones.

You feel a little lost, staring around like you couldn’t recognize your own home, shoulders slumping with a deep sigh. Your gaze moves towards your closed bedroom door, feet following before your hand twists the doorknob and you’re engulfed in sunlight, blinking rapidly to adjust to the change in lighting.

Inside, the sight that greets you seems frozen in time, transporting you back in June to the last moments spent in this room, where you were running around to pack in a hurry. You don’t dare move, just taking it all in as memories flood your mind and make your heart ache in your chest, what still remains of it, anyway.

All of your stuff thrown around haphazardly painted a picture you didn’t enjoy, yet couldn’t look away from either. Your bed remained unmade, with piles of clothing, bags and random objects occupying all the space. Framed photographs were thrown everywhere around the room, just so they would stop glaring at you from their place on your nightstand, face down and most likely damaged by the broken glass. The vase on your dresser, which used to stand tall with beautiful, healthy flowers seemed to have lost its color, struggling to fulfil its purpose because of the dried, mouldy peonies you didn’t bother throwing out before leaving.

But what’s even worse than the mess is what tipped you over the edge back then, falling to your knees on the fluffy, white carpet as you sobbed uncontrollably – the things he left behind were still here, in the exact same spots, in pristine condition. Your room looked like it barely survived the hurricane that shared your name, yet his red cap was still resting quietly next to the flowers he got you. One of his sketchbooks, still opened on that drawing he never got to finish as he got too busy with school, was on the other nightstand, on his side of the bed. A pair of his dancing shoes were by the door, right next to your comfy slippers. They have been there for so long, that you couldn’t enter your room without tripping over them and be reminded of his presence every single time. Hell, you bet if you checked right now, his toothbrush will still be next to yours in the cute holder you bought together, his razor not far away.

There were traces of him everywhere you looked in this apartment, clothes and necessities he left behind on his many visits. Like his football jersey, lucky number 20, you’ve worn more times than him, hung in your open closet among empty hangers that barely held on.

It wasn’t fair, how you seemed to crumble along with everything around you while he, and his stupid things, remained intact. The world shattered beneath your feet, freefalling to your doom of self-doubts and regrets while he continued with his life like nothing even happened. Like you never happened; like you weren’t such a fundamental part in his life in the exact same way he was in yours.

Your ex boyfriend moved on in the blink of an eye, while you were still here, crying at the sight of a stupid toothbrush.

This will never be fair. Why did you always seem to draw the short end of the stick?

New beginnings were usually your favorite. Starting another book, turning a new leaf and switching up your wardrobe for a change, getting the inspiration for another song – these were all activities that brought you joy. Now, returning to campus at the end of summer vacation to begin another school year? For the first time since starting university two years ago, felt like an impossible task, one you weren’t ready for in the slightest. Because how could you ever be ready to start your junior year without him?

How could you possibly embark on a new journey without him holding your hand and guiding you through it all, navigating around every hardship with ease like he was the most experienced sailor in existence?

You had no answers, only questions. Too many that were also too loud, bouncing off of the sturdy walls of your mind that were threatening to crumble with every thud, remaining standing only thanks to the unbearable headaches that reminded you to take a break from all the overthinking.

Your mind went quiet as another voice made its presence known, bringing you back to the world outside your bedroom while shooing the dark cloud above your head out the window with ease.

“Oh my god, we lost the goddamn chair!”

A wet laugh escaped your lips, more tears rolling down your cheeks as you desperately tried to wipe them all before joining your friends in the living room. You weren’t stupid – they were worried. That’s why Seohyun was moving in, in the first place. To keep an eye on you at all times, when the other two couldn’t be there and provide the much needed support you craved so badly.

Not like they knew you were aware of their little plan, having them figured out from the moment they showed up at Chan’s doorstep in Australia, last month. They’ve been tiptoeing around you since then, not knowing what emotional state you were in or what’s changed or hasn’t in the two months you spent apart. Sure, Chris might have filled them in, but they were still afraid. Afraid they were going to mess up somehow and have you slipping through their fingers and shatter at any moment, like you were nothing more than a fragile package, all progress lost the second something that reminded you of him jumped into your path.

And, you hate to admit but they were right.

They failed to take into consideration that even though your ex never actually moved in, the apartment was his as much as it was yours, quickly becoming your shared home as you fell into a routine that involved the other at every step.

Your three close friends were the only people present, but all you could see was him, a ghost roaming around and haunting every corner of the house you now despised, his giggles caressing your ears gently every time you moved from one room to the other.

Just being here felt like torture. How were you supposed to spend another two years sleeping in the same bed you shared with the person you thought was going to be your forever?

“Sweetheart.” Chan’s gentle voice coaxes you out of the room as you manage to pull yourself together, no sign of crying or distress still present on your features. If anything, they looked worse than you, crestfallen and a little embarrassed.

“We have something to tell you.” Seohyun steps closer, gently taking your hands into hers and intertwining your fingers loosely.

Jisung nods and is by your side in a second, throwing an arm around your shoulders as he lowers his mouth to your ear. “Chris lost your new armchair.”

“What the fuck?!”

Your laughter joins theirs, a beat later, as Chris remains the only one standing there, arms crossed over his chest with his words falingl on deaf ears, nobody paying attention as he begins defending himself.

When you’re pulled into a warm embrace, with Jisung’s cologne enveloping all your senses, you can’t help but start wondering. Is this a good time to finally reveal you never actually ordered a new chair or…?

︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

Saturday slipped away into a moment in time, and before you knew it, Sunday was upon you. Your last chance at relaxing before the craziness began, and you’d be thrust into a series of new projects, classes and assignments that were already giving you a headache.

Despite spending the previous night celebrating a new beginning with your best friends, having an intimate pizza party with karaoke and a little too much alcohol, you wake up bright and early to get to a previously made appointment. Usually, you wouldn’t go anywhere for the summer, for the first two months anyway. But since you flew out of the country as soon as your exams were over, you didn’t get to help the animal shelter you have been volunteering at since your first year. It left a hole in your heart, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel guilty for disappearing into thin air, with nothing more than a text sent to the owner to let her know you’ll be going away for a while.

Hopefully, they’re willing to forgive and forget and let you make up for it by spending the next two months as involved as possible.

“Good morning, sweetheart.” Comes Chan’s groggy voice, still husky from all the singing he did last night, stumbling out of your spare bedroom with barely open eyes.

You startle, losing your balance while putting on your other shoe and crashing into the wall by the front door. You were hoping to make a swift escape and return before any of them rose since nobody in their right mind would willingly wake up this early.

He appears from around the corner, tank top slightly raised as he’s trying to scratch at his back. “You good?”

“Yep, everything’s just peachy.” Regaining your footing, you manage to put your shoe on and turn your back to him to get a jacket, feeling too awkward to make eye contact right now, which Chan would have laughed about if he wasn’t so sleepy.

“Where are you going?” He yawns, turning to squint at the clock on the far wall, above the couch. “It’s literally 7 am, too early to even be alive right now.”

For some reason, you hesitate to tell him, too out of it for your, and most definitely his liking. Being here was certainly not doing you any good, the walls closing in every time you tried to breathe and lift all the broken pieces of your stupid heart off of your lungs. It felt suffocating, especially when you were left alone with your thoughts as you zoned out one too many times.

Still, you mumble under your breath, reaching for your keys as silently as possible.

“Huh?”

With a sigh, you finally face him, eyes downcast. “Furry Friends Rescue.”

The smile that stretches across his features as he processes your words is so wide and contagious, it brightens up the whole room like he was somehow related to the sun itself, light radiating off of him in waves. It wakes him up instantly, and before you know it, he slips into a pair of slides left by the door and flies to his apartment.

You look after him, confused, and step into the hallway at the same time he does.

“Alright, let’s go!” He beams, locking his door before reaching for your arm softly. “I’ll drive you!”

“Wait, are you sure? I can – “

“Yes, I’m sure!” He frowns, shaking his head and pulling you after him with his newfound energy. “You love it there, and I know you already miss Berry. The least I can do is offer you a ride, are you kidding?”

You can’t help but smile at the mention of his puppy, spirits lifted in an instant. She was such a special little lady and you really bonded in these three months you’ve spent at his parents’ house.

Your parents never allowed you to have a pet, with your mom being allergic, so you did what you could to fill the space that remained constantly empty in your heart.

The drive there is full of laughter and even more singing, with Chris bringing back one of the activities you loved doing since he first got his license back in high school. Carpool karaoke has always been a must in his car, and that’s why you rode with Seohyun on your way back from the airport yesterday. You were a fool because nothing was quite as therapeutic as being silly and singing Disney songs at the top of your lungs with the only person who’s watched you grow into the adult you are today.

The drive to your destination isn’t long, but you still manage to squeeze in five songs before you get off and Chris speeds off. Only after wishing you a good day and making you promise you’ll call once you’re done so he can come pick you up, too. He was too kind, willing to do too much for you sometimes, but you were just the same. You’re afraid you might try moving the moon if he asked, one day.

Your annoying, overprotective brother who wasn’t really your brother, who’d push you into the pool before jumping in to save you in the same breath. He was such a guy.

Approaching with a prep to your step, the shelter’s surroundings have changed drastically since your last visit. The trees in the back have dyed their leaves in warm shades of orange and yellow, scattering some on the ground in hopes of attracting more pet lovers. A beautiful background always pulled people in, just like all pretty things did, and this autumn is particularly beautiful, with sights straight out of famous paintings. Seoul was truly a special city, one that’s nurtured and taught you the meaning of the word love that’s being thrown around too casually for your taste, these days. The city you grew up in, where you found your love for writing and composing, and where you met the most amazing people on this planet.

No other city could compare to your birthplace, no matter how pretty or modern it was.

Just as you make to try the door, with your apology speech all ready to go, it suddenly opens and forces you to take a few steps back in surprise.

“I’m sorry, we aren’t open yet.” The apology comes from a tall man, whose delicate features would have fooled you into believing he wasn’t older than a high schooler. Yet his physique begs to differ, you could tell even from beneath all the layers. He’s wearing the shelter’s apron with the logo you’ve had Jisung design a few years back. A new employee, perhaps? You don’t recognize him, so that’s most likely the case.

Your gaze travels upwards until it meets his brown eyes that fidget at the sudden contact. “Sorry, I’m here to see Mrs. Jeon?”

The stranger shakes his head, bleached blond hair hiding an undercut following his every move. “Mrs. Jeon is out of the country.”

You wait for him to continue, provide more details but when he doesn’t and only raises a brow that almost asks ‘what are you still doing here?’ you sigh and turn to leave. “Right. Will you please tell her Y/n has stopped by?”

“Wait, Y/n L/n?”

You turn right on your heel, both of your eyebrows raised as if to challenge his. “Do I know you?”

He brings his hands up, showing he means no harm as a smile finds his rosy lips, one you don’t truly grasp the meaning of. “No! But I know you.”

Alright, now you’re properly creeped out. Noticing the look on your face, the man quickly corrects himself, letting out an awkward laugh as he rubs the back of his head. “I’m sorry, I’m not good with strangers. Mrs. Jeon does! I was recruited in your place when you didn’t come back in June.”

Oh, so he was your replacement. Great. You had no idea you’d entered a race to see how fast people and places you frequented could replace you during the summer. Very motivating and uplifting. You should have stayed home.

“Oh.” Despite all the thoughts overlapping each other in your head, you only manage to sigh, properly exhausted.

His eyes widen slightly, and without thinking, he grasps your elbow when you turn around to leave for good. “Please do come in! Mrs. Jeon has been waiting to hear from you. She left a note.”

“A note?” When he nods, you shake off his hand and accept the invitation, stepping inside filled with curiosity.

All of the furry friends were in the back, in a separate space away from the reception. The place was modern, decorated in warm, pastel colors that seemed to welcome you with a fuzzy hug, the surroundings pristine. Furry Friends Rescue was built from the ground up by Mrs Jeon’s late husband, who passed away a few years back, right after you started volunteering here. To honor his life, she kept this place running, making it her mission to find loving homes for all the animals that were brought in, investing most of her resources into modernizing the place and treating the animals like they deserved to be treated.

The shelter housed a veterinary office and a pet salon, run by other volunteers who were experts in their fields, students alike and even working people who would come by to offer a helping hand whenever they could. Mr Jeon was a vet – he used to treat all of the animals before he fell sick and became unable to work.

Making his way around the reception desk, which truly resembled the entrance of a corporation, even with all the pet pictures plastered on all the walls, and the dog pattern on the couch, the man picks up a note that was next to the bone-shaped phone.

“Here.”

Your fingers brush his as you take the small paper from him, but you don’t pay any attention to the slight color that appears on his cheeks.

Dear Y/n,

I hope your precious heart managed to heal during your trip

What fitting words for someone who had no idea why you left in the first place. Guess Mrs. Jeon knew you better than you thought, after all.

If you’re reading this, it means I have not yet returned from visiting my grandbabies. It also means Jaemin is the one looking after the place

Please work together until I’m back. He’s a nice kid and I believe you’ll get along well

That is if you’re still willing to return. Always put yourself first. If quitting is what you think is best, just know I’ll never hold it against you

With love, grandma J

P.S. there’s a surprise on the other side 😊

Curious, you flip over the page, eyes scanning the familiar handwriting to decipher what has she left you. A giggle escapes you soon after, shaking your head with fondness spilling from your eyes at her antics. You’re glad that after everything she’s been through, Mrs. Jeon has never changed.

“Is something funny?” The guy you’ve come to learn is named Jaemin asks from the other side of the desk, head tilted slightly in wonder making him resemble an actual puppy.

You dismiss him with a wave of your wrist, pocketing the note. Mrs. J’s brownie recipe you could never get enough of wouldn’t interest him anyway.

“So, you’re Jaemin?” You finally ask, giving him a once-over. He was tall, wearing a denim-on-denim outfit and smiled a little too brightly for your liking. Still, he did look like a nice guy, so you might as well give him a chance, even if meeting someone knew was the last thing you wanted to do.

As expected, he beams, thrusting a hand forward over the desk. “That’s me! Nice to meet you, Y/n. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

You give him a small but genuine smile and shake his hand. “I’m a third year at SNU so I usually volunteer here during summer vacation. I hope we get along.”

He nods, listening to your every word. “Yeah, Mrs. Jeon mentioned we go to the same university. I’m a second year majoring in dance! I’m also a part of the football team so I apologize in advance if I ever end up leaving you here all alone when the season starts.”

Oh, what were the odds?

Your smile drops despite your effort in not reacting, retracting your hand a little too quickly while nodding and trying to act as normal as possible. “Cool.”

Turning around, you begin walking in the opposite direction to escape from this awkward situation Mrs. J has unknowingly put you in.

“Shall we go see the animals?”

He’s on your tail soon after, grabbing another apron on the way for you with that ever present sunny smile of his. Jaemin reminded you of a hyperactive puppy, a golden retriever who would do anything to make you happy, pulling silly stunts and stumbling over his own feet.

Turns out, his bright personality isn’t the only reason Mrs. J has hired Jaemin. You spend the next four hours together, taking care of the animals and talking, to your surprise. They all seemed to love him already, causing a ruckus at the mere sight of him, excited to be let out and greet you both properly.  The puppies especially as they’d run back and forth from you to him without stopping for a while, barely managing to bottle feed them in their excitement. Jaemin was nice, and easy to talk to, happy to get to know you but also talk your ear off when sensing you might need a laugh, managing to make everything funny. A great pick me up, you ended up agreeing with Mrs J’s statement – he was a good guy, the best that could have replaced you and helped her and all the staff in your absence.

For some reason, he felt comfortable opening up to you, and in turn, you told him some things about yourself too.

“What made you want to volunteer here?” He suddenly asks while cradling a noisy kitten, the sight comical.

You barely think before answering, gaze still trained on the bichon that has fallen asleep in your lap while you were brushing her. “I wasn’t allowed to have pets growing up, and I’ve always loved them. I was lucky my best friend had the most adorable puppy in the world right next door, but it wasn’t the same as owning one, you know?”

Jaemin nods, finally calming the kitten, eyes on you. “Oh, that sucks. I couldn’t imagine life without my two babies at home.”

You look up, curious. “You have dogs?”

“Two cats.” He throws a peace sign, chuckling when you smile. “I’m from Busan, so I only get to see them on holidays. I thought coming here and helping out four days a week might help me miss them less.”

“And? Does it help?” You point to the kitten that has fallen asleep in his arms, head crocked to the side weirdly. Looking down, he laughs and sets her in his lap, using his knuckles to gently pet between her ears, one of his hands as big as her whole body.

“It does, actually.” He smiles absentmindedly, most likely reminiscing about his fur babies. “But only momentarily. When I’m back in my dorm room, I still feel their absence.”

“I’m sorry.” Is all you say, a deep pang of sadness hitting you out of nowhere. You guess this is how Chris and Jisung feel as well, both away from their respective dogs they’ve more or less grown up with.

Jaemin shakes his head, still smiling and not as sad as you’d thought he’d be. “None of that. I facetime my mom every night just to see them.”

“That’s cute.” A smile finds its way on your face as you imagine him using the same baby voice he uses with the animals here on the phone with his mom, cooing at his cats.

“You’re cute.”

An uncharacteristic silence falls upon you as Jaemin searches for your gaze, dying to understand your reaction. It wasn’t uncomfortable, just weird, making you feel like you were doing something wrong. Which made no sense. Jisung and Chan called you cute all the time; not out of nowhere, but when the moment was right. Heck, Seohyun would write entire pages praising your beauty whenever you posted on Instagram – you knew you were cute. But this was different, this was someone that meant it romantically, you could tell. He was flirting with you, shooting his shot and seeing where it landed.

That wasn’t something you could reciprocate, especially not now.

When he notices the look in your eyes, the storm brewing behind them, he adds. “I was talking about Belle over there.”

You look down at Belle, the fluffy bichon in your lap, who is currently sleeping soundly on her back, tummy up and randomly kicking her feet once in a while, dreamland surely rowdy.

“Shut up.” You laugh a moment later, appreciating how fast he took the hint and backed off, leaning over to softly push him on the doggy mats, to which he pretends to fall just for your amusement.

With that out of the way, things return to normal quickly and before you know it, the other volunteers arrive and you’re biding Jaemin goodbye and going on your merry way, back to your apartment.

It’s afternoon now, hopefully your friends are awake by now.

︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

They were in fact, not awake. Jisung just moved himself from the spare bedroom he shared with Chris for the night to the living room couch to sleep some more, without having to deal with the other’s snoring. Seohyun was buried in your blanket, hiding from the world, in the same position she was in when you left that morning.

Like it or not, it seems their bodies were incapable of pulling all-nighters after doing it for so many years without suffering the day after. Hopefully, you all manage to fix your sleep schedules before your classes start properly, not wanting to miss too many and be left behind, confused out of your minds and barely figuring it out by the time exam season rolls around.

︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

“I’m sleepy.” Seohyun complains, reaching up to rub her eyes before remembering the pretty eyeliner currently gracing her eyelids and stopping at the last second, groaning.

You giggle, full of energy from the coffee Chris made sure got into your system before your first class, swirling the ice in your cup absentmindedly, mind somewhere else.

Busy on his phone, he doesn’t even look up as he responds. “You barely made it to class this morning and you’re still complaining?”

Monday, 10:15 am. Your first class of the day officially ended fifteen minutes ago and as you’ve been doing for two years now, your friend group meet up at your favorite location, the diner closest to campus that has become some sort of sanctuary by now.

Seohyun was majoring in communication so she did not share your classes yet somehow, the four of you have started the new school year in the same way – with a boring, way too long 8 am lecture that almost erased your will to live.

She shoots him a dirty look he doesn’t notice, but otherwise doesn’t respond, too tired to bother with Chris and his top student agenda. Because being popular, good at sports and everyone’s friend wasn’t enough for him; your best friend was the academic weapon every freshman aspired to be, without trying too hard either. Hands down the most gifted and smartest person you know.

“You did go to bed super late last night.” You reach for her hand across the table, gently massaging her palm in hopes she’ll feel a bit better.

Just then, Jisung returns with your drinks, handing them out one by one like he was a barista himself. When he’s done and you all thank him, he takes his seat across from you and Chris, next to Seohyun. “What did I miss?”

“Seohyun was complaining.” Chris responds instantly, fingers typing away. What could be more interesting than spending time with your closest friends?

“Oh, so nothing new.”

At the same time, you softly smack the back of Chris’ head while she smacks Jisung, with a little more force, only the latter reacting loudly.

“Stop being mean.” You reprimand, and Chris puts his phone down with a sigh, leaning back in his chair to stretch his arms above his head.

“For your information, being late was not my fault.” Seohyun chimes in, finally in the mood to explain herself after taking several sips of her coffee. “This random guy ran straight into me, I was tackled to the ground!”

Concern flashes over your features. “Are you okay?”

She nods. “Yeah, don’t worry. He helped me up and gathered all of my books while apologizing. Then I met up with Ji and he carried my bag to class.”

Both you and Chris shoot Jisung a curious look, not convinced he went through all of that trouble out of the kindness of his own heart.

“In my defense,” Jisung shrugs, his arm thrown over the booth behind Seohyun’s head, “I really did not want to come to class.”

Chris chuckles and sips from his strawberry milkshake while you shake your head, smiling and pinching the back of Jisung’s hand that was resting on the table, to which he retaliates by throwing the straw paper in your face.

“To be honest, I wasn’t paying attention either so he’s not entirely to blame here.” She continues like neither of you has said anything, resting her head in her palm with a dreamy look in her eyes. “Besides, he was fucking gorgeous. I swear I’ve never seen such a beautiful man before. And his freckles? Literal constellations right on his cheeks, oh my god.”

“Okay, Juliet, pipe down.” Jisung flicks her forehead and she swats his hand away, glaring.

Amused, you lean closer with interest. “Did you get his name?”

She shakes her head. “No” Then, her gaze moves to Chris. “That’s why, I need you to find him for me.”

Raising a brow, he reaches for your drink to have a taste before responding. “What am I, the local newspaper? You’re the one who bumped into him.”

“Yes, but you literally know everyone on campus.”

He makes a face, deeming your drink too bitter for his taste. “So do you.”

That was true. Seohyun was the definition of a social butterfly, mingling with all cliques and being liked by everyone she came into contact with. However, she was also very perceptive so if someone’s vibe seemed off, she could come across as cold and aloof, not giving them the time of day.

“Please?” She continues, resorting to the infamous puppy eyes. “This guy might be the love of my life, Chris, please help me.”

“What about Mark?” Jisung buts in, giving her a questioning look. Immediately, you and Chris signal for him to cut it out, abort the ship and never utter that name for as long as he draws breath.

Seohyun’s gaze drops to her cup, manicured finger moving back and forth on the edge, pretending she didn’t hear any of the words that have left Jisung’s mouth. To his credit, Jisung looks a little guilty, arm sliding over her shoulder and squeezing briefly in a silent apology, hoping it will be enough to fix things.

The probability of this mystery guy being the love of her life was low, but Chris seemed to feel bad enough to give in, exhaling deeply. Seohyun’s track record wasn’t great – for some reason, she always fell for emotionally unavailable guys, with her latest situationship ending not too long ago once she realized Mark did not want anything serious.

She didn’t deserve all that. Seohyun was the sweetest, kindest person you knew, with a heart of gold. If anyone deserved to find true love and grow old with rosy cheeks, still feeling butterflies at the mention of her beloved’s name no matter how many years passed, it was her. And you’d be damned if you didn’t try to make that happen.

“Let’s find this pretty boy of yours.” You smile as Chris nods, enjoying the way her face gradually lights up.

“Really?”

“I’d feel like I kicked a puppy while it was down if I didn’t, so what the hell. We’ve done crazier things anyways.” Chris adds and she squeals, getting out of the booth to come over and hug him, suddenly excited.

“Oh!” She rushes back to her seat, instantly rummaging through her bag. “This is his. I think it got mixed up with my books when I dropped them. He was in a hurry.”

The three of you huddle together as she places a small notebook on the table, curious about its contents that might reveal the identity of Seohyun’s prospective new…something. Let’s hope boyfriend, and nobody that treats her less than that.

Chris is the one who dares open it, flipping through the pages in wonder.

“These are…recipes?” He blinks, drawing a blank as the measurements for the perfect ‘gooey brownies’ stare him right in the face.

None of you says anything for a moment, the gears in your head turning and working simultaneously before Jisung breaks the silence with an unexpected outburst.

“Oh my god, he’s a fucking loser!”

Safe to say, he got smacked a couple more times before your next class of the day. Lovingly, of course.

︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

With everyone promising to ask around for Seohyun’s prince charming, you go on with your day until your last class, when you established to meet again for a little get together with all of your other friends.

The sun was starting to set, casting a warm, golden hue that extended throughout the whole campus, creating mesmerizing surroundings you could barely look away from. Thankfully by now, you’re outside, enjoying the warm breeze and nice weather that might not return any time soon as the days will only continue to get shorter and shorter as time passes.

You’re currently near the football field, cutting through near the bleachers to get to the other side where Chris and his swimming team are currently meeting. Seohyun is skipping a few feet in front of you, obviously in good spirits.

“Didn’t know Chris needed a chaperone.” She teases, turning to you with a smile as she starts walking backwards.

You chuckle. “Well, he is our ride.”

“We could have walked.” She stretches her arms as if to prove a point. “It’s such a beautiful day! It’s a shame we have to miss out on the rest of it, too.”

You were on your way to a bar, a new one that opened all the way in Hongdae. The owner has invited 3racha, Chris and Jisung’s music group personally, so it would be rude to not show up, even if you did share her sentiment. If it were up to you, you’d be in bed, snuggling already, but your friends have made it a point to keep you out of the house as much as possible.

“Just say thank you, Seohyun.”

“Thank you, Seohyun, for being the hottest girl around!”

You both laugh, enjoying each other’s company before she turns back around and resumes her skipping, long, bleached hair flowing freely behind her in the prettiest way. As you reach for your phone to record her for memories, a speck of red gets your attention in an instant.

You keep walking but your eyes are glued to the field now, to the eight or so guys dressed in the white and red uniform of your university’s American football team. Your heart rate picks up in an instant, scanning their jersey numbers in a hurry.

Relief floods your system when you don’t find what you’re looking for, slowing down. These guys looked young, most likely freshmen trying out for a spot in the most famous football team your university has had in years. You didn’t know how that worked, your memory failed you as you tried to remember when tryouts took place. It seemed a little too early for all that though, too soon to be looking for new people when the season kicked off somewhere in October, a good month and a half away. You couldn’t help but wonder why the hurry.

“Y/n! Watch out!”

Seohyun’s screaming startles you out of your thoughts, your eyes coming into focus to see a football flying right in your direction, quickly approaching your head. Before you know it, you’re ducking and running, feeling bad for snoozing and interfering with practice. Of course, this had to happen, you were cursed after all. You could never be near a sports field without something hitting you, no matter how small or insignificant the object, it always had to make contact with your face.

However, you don’t make it very far before you come to an abrupt stop as you collide with something or better said, someone, the impact causing you to stumble a few steps back until rough, gloved hands stabilize you by the shoulders.

When you regain your footing and finally look up at your saviour, your heart actually stops.

Because the one looking back, right through you is none other than Hyunjin. Your Hyunjin.

Or actually, he wasn’t yours anymore, now, was he?

Hyunjin who’s written his name across your heart in golden letters, that suddenly lit up at the mere sight of him. Your ex-boyfriend looked almost unrecognizable, his short black hair replaced by long, bleached locks that were pushed back, away from his face in a little ponytail.

You were a fool to think he wouldn’t be here. He was the captain after all and the coach was nowhere in sight.

The air wasn’t entering your lungs anymore, yet somehow you were still breathing, being kept afloat by his familiar hands on your skin, so overly conscious of his touch that you barely registered the shiver running down your spine.

After three months apart with no communication, Hyunjin was finally looking at you, forced to acknowledge your presence. It felt a little surreal, bumping into him so soon. Sure, you were expecting it, but not on your very first day back to campus, not when you still haven’t processed the fact that you weren’t together anymore. Everything in you longed for him and all his endearing quirks, even after all this time; even after he broke your heart.

You don’t dare look away, and neither does he, enthralled by those beautiful eyes of his that used to watch your every move with so much love and care. Now, you don’t see any of these emotions, but there is an intensity to his gaze that you can’t quite put your finger on. Time always seemed to come to a stop when you were with him and right now it was no different. All of your surroundings faded, leaving him the sole object of your attention.

There was a new piercing adorning his face, right under his bleached eyebrow. It looked good, like everything he deemed worthy enough to leave a mark on his body. But that wasn’t what got your heart beating again, pounding against your ribcage at an alarming pace he was sure to hear even from afar.

Without looking away, his hands slide down your arms slowly, and for a brief moment, you think they’re going to find solace in yours, just like they’ve done for all these years. By the surprise flickering in his eyes, you believe he thought of the same thing, catching himself at the last second and taking a step back, arms falling to his side heavily.

“Yo, what the fuck was that?” A new voice has you both snapping out of it, finally allowing you to look away and escape the staring war neither had the resources to win. It’s familiar, and as someone stops right by your side, seemingly out of nowhere, there’s no doubt in your mind about his identity.

“Y/n, are you okay?

You blink, and the magic from before finally dissipates completely, almost like the spell Hyunjin has got you under broke the moment he made himself busy by reaching for his helmet on the ground. When you manage to tear your eyes from him, Yeonjun, one of his friends and teammates, comes into view and places a hand on your shoulder in concern. The ball that almost collided with your head is under his other arm, and you notice that he’s not wearing his gloves as he should be.

Eventually, you nod, looking straight into his eyes while mustering your most convincing smile. “Yeah, don’t worry. Nothing even happened.”

“It almost did.” He states, glaring towards the group of men who seemed glued on the spot. “If it weren’t for Hyunjin, things might have ended badly.”

You look away, not knowing how to act around them anymore. Hyunjin doesn’t respond either, just moves out of the way as Seohyun sprints to your rescue, pulling your body into the tightest hug and putting some distance between you and the two men.

“Are you okay? You’re not hurt anywhere, right?” She’s instantly checking you all over, dusting invisible dirt off your clothes before patting your head lovingly, just like a mother would do to comfort her sobbing child. Truthfully speaking, you weren’t far from turning into one, but the mortification of bursting into tears in front of all these people kept your emotions in check. You reckon a football to the face would have hurt less than having Hyunjin treat you like a stranger he’s meeting for the first time, barely reacting to your sudden appearance.

In hindsight, him reacting differently was almost impossible. Especially in the way you’d want him to react. Hyunjin had changed right before your very eyes in the last months before your relationship ended, burying his sweet and sensitive nature so deep down that you feared it might have gotten erased permanently.

Grasping her hands, you nod to calm her racing mind. “I’m fine, mom.” Then, you turn to Yeonjun again. “Sorry for interrupting practice like that. I should have been more careful.”

You hear Hyunjin scoff from somewhere behind you, still not brave enough to show his face, while Yeonjun shakes his head vehemently. “Nonsense. You did nothing wrong. Those guys though? They did plenty.”

He squeezes your shoulder reassuringly before excusing himself to join said guys, voice loud and annoyed. “Who were you passing that to? Are you fucking blind or just stupid?”

Yeonjun had no authority over them, not like Hyunjin did anyway. But he was still a seasoned player, one that’s been with the team for two years, so his words carried significant weight. He was a year older than all of you yet only decided to give football a chance in his second year, joining the team at the same time as Hyunjin. Their roles on the team were the opposite of each other – while Hyunjin was on the offensive, Yeonjun was a defensive player in charge of keeping the other team as far away as possible. Yet, they clicked and worked so well together that the probability of SNU losing a game with both of them present was close to none.

Bonding outside the field proved just as easy and before you knew it, Yeonjun became one of Hyunjin’s treasured friends, bringing their envied teamwork to more events than necessary.

For these guys to have a chance before the coach, they first needed to impress these two. And one thing about Hyunjin was that he was very hard to impress, especially in the areas he excelled in.

Your eyes naturally gravitate towards him along with your thoughts, his magnetic field still as strong as always. To your utter surprise, he moved to stand a little further away, facing his potential new teammates.

“Who threw that?”

The sound of his voice alone is enough to overwhelm you, suddenly way too emotional to keep still, to manage to keep your cool and act as nonchalant as he was. You haven’t heard that voice in so long, you’re sure you’d have collapsed if he as much as uttered your name.

Your name on his tongue has always been your favorite sound, no other word ever coming close to having that same effect.

Sheepishly, one of the guys steps forward while rubbing the back of their necks, visibly taken aback by the coldness in Hyunjin’s voice.

Hyunjin’s eyes narrow just as Seohyun links her arm through yours and tugs your body closer.

“Apologize.”

“Yes, captain!” He nods instantly, bowing repeatedly in Hyunjin’s direction to show exactly how sorry he feels for disappointing him. “I’m –“

“Not to me.” Hyunjin crosses his arms over wide chest, shoulder blade plates making him look even more intimidating as he stands to his full height, rolling his eyes. “To her.”

Your eyes widen as the guy looks up, searching for you with confusion visible even through his big helmet. Hesitantly, he changes targets, stopping before you and Seohyun.

“Hyunjin – “ You manage to squeak out, hating the way your voice almost gets caught in your throat, heat rushing to your face.

“Let him apologize.” His gaze travels to you leisurely, impatience clear in usual doe eyes.

But you aren’t far behind, a little annoyed by his insistence, managing to pull yourself together to counter. “I don’t think that’s necessary.”

“And last I checked, I didn’t ask for your opinion.” As quick-witted as always, Hyunjin isn’t even looking at you anymore, not bothering to react in any other way, like you weren’t even worth getting annoyed at. “He made a mistake that under normal circumstances, could have cost us the game. He needs to own up to it and apologize not only to you but to his teammates as well.”

Then, the guy seems to get smaller under his sharp gaze, instantly dropping into a deep bow and obeying Hyunjin’s words to a T. “I’m so sorry for throwing the ball in your direction!” In the next second, he’s spinning around and bowing to the other guys as Seohyun struggles to keep in her laughter at his next words. “I’m sorry for being an idiot!”

To his credit, Hyunjin hasn’t addressed him as such, always one to keep things professional. Yet, you notice the slight twitch of his mouth, obviously pleased and amused as Yeonjun bursts out laughing.

The guys bow in return, and suddenly they’re all shouting apologies at each other, owning up to all of the little mistakes they’ve made up until now that might’ve inconvenienced the other in some way, feeling bad for possibly giving anyone a hard time.

Not being able to hold it in anymore, your best friend almost collapses from laughter, needing to walk it off to calm down, only to start again as she locks eyes with Yeonjun a little farther away.

You’re so taken aback that you don’t even know how to react, watching the scene before you as flabbergasted as one could get. It was wholesome to see these kids already acting like a team but a part of you couldn’t help but feel bad once it remembered none might actually get to play and represent their university on the field. Hyunjin was trying to instil some discipline into them, but at what cost? What was the point?

Just as you’re contemplating everything that happened, the eight guys suddenly stop and turn to bow in Hyunjin’s direction as well, apologizing at the same time like it’s an activity they’ve rehearsed beforehand. It gets quiet as they wait for an answer, not even daring to raise their heads and see Hyunjin’s reaction, just patiently waiting for the go ahead so they can go back to practice.

Since when was Hyunjin running this team like the fucking marines?

Despite not looking at him, when Hyunjin nods they all stand to their full heights before him, awaiting further instructions. The mood shifts, all tense and serious like they weren’t sweet and wholesome just a moment ago.

“Since none of you seem able to handle one of these yet,” he barely finishes his sentence before Yeonjun passes him the ball, catching it with ease to hold up for the others to see. It all happened so quickly and naturally, that the others most likely didn’t notice, but you did. Hyunjin isn’t using his dominant hand. “you’ll be running laps until the coach gets here. Whoever is not up for it, drop your gears – you’re out.”

You’re expecting complaints and groans in protest but instead, they all nod and succumb to their miserable fates, doing exactly what Hyunjin has instructed. A little further away, you notice Yeonjun laughing without shame, having a blast at their expense.

“Asshole.” Seohyun murmurs, rolling her eyes, and you’re unsure who she’s talking about. “Let’s go. Any more time and Chris will send his speedo wearing army out in the wild to look for us.”

You want to laugh, to agree, and turn your back on this incident and leave without a word. But you can’t, feet lodged into place like you were standing on the biggest patch of mud around.

Hyunjin’s back was already to you, form cladded in that familiar uniform you’ve felt under your fingertips for years. The 20 under his surname written in capital letters on his jersey were almost mocking you, mad for holding their twin hostage in your mess of a closet. It doesn’t matter – in a month or so, they’ll be replaced in favour of a new design that comes around every new season. Just like your presence in his life will inevitably be filled by someone else; someone better, capable of loving him at his worst.

You had so much to say, so many words eager to escape and latch onto him, to get his attention and feed from it, growing bolder and more desperate with every second spent by his side. Hyunjin always brought the best out of you – until he broke things off. Then everything just came to a stop. Like someone lifted the stylus off of a vinyl before the song got the chance to come to an end, damaging the record and your ears in the process.

You loved music but suddenly, your life was quiet.

Hyunjin has been your muse for the entirety of your relationship, all of your songs based on him and the love that managed to blossom thanks to your shared effort. The butterflies and the fireworks all faded without a trace, making your music sound bland and meaningless, off-key since the one who inspired it was no longer there.

You wanted to call out his name, get him to stop and not leave you behind again but you didn’t know how, unable to without bursting into tears and breaking down for everyone to see. Hyunjin has been a part of your life for so many years, how were you ever supposed to start acting like he never was? Erasing him and the mark he left would surely be impossible without a potion of sorts, some Eternal Sunshine mechanism that will ensure your brain will be tricked into believing he was never here, to begin with.

Seohyun is off to the side, giving you the space needed to put your thoughts in order, for your next move. This was your chance, the moment you’ve been waiting for.

But you couldn’t do it. You couldn’t run after him no matter how loudly your heart was screaming in protest.

So, you turn around and latch onto your best friend as she begins pulling you along, quick to come to your rescue as always. Struggling to keep it together, with tears welling up in your eyes, you miss the way he turns to look in your direction one more time. One last time.

You’ve always believed Hyunjin was the love of your life, the one you’d grow old holding hands with.

Now, your perspective has changed, as did the main character role he has played in your story for the past five years. No longer was he the charming male lead, the prince coming in on a white horse to swoop you off your feet in a grand gesture of romance.

Hyunjin was the loss of your life. The one that managed to get away even with the tight grip you’ve tried to keep on his heart.

Hyunjin transformed into a background character that won’t be there for the ride, and won’t get to witness the new developments happening from now on in your life.

You would have rather been the one written off the story if it meant keeping him. Unfortunately, that was not a possibility since without you, there wouldn’t be a story to begin with.

︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

[here1snyan]

This one goes out to my fellow Laurance lovers, stay strong 💚🌆

A few things to mention with this one (small headcanons ig, more like design quirks I drew Laur with this time around that I like):

Moles!! He has one under his left eye, and two of them next to eachother on his left hand. Obviously he has more on his arms/back etc, but these are the ones visible for this drawing hehe. I also gave him piercings + painted nails to complete the date fit, because that just makes sense for Laur to have i dunno, he's fashionable

[obessedwithfictionalmen]

Co-Stars pt.10

Callum Turner X Actress! Reader

Summary: The journey of Y/n's pregnancy...

Warning: pregnancy/ mentions of throwing up/ mention of birth/ use of Y/n/

Word count: 2.1k

When she found out she was pregnant, Y/n was the happiest she’d ever been, but this happiness quickly faded into worry. She and her baby daddy were celebrities, her pregnancy was going to be all over social medias, her baby too. Callum and she talked about it and decided they wanted to keep it private. They told the cast that she was pregnant, because they should know, and their press tour wasn’t over. Yes, Master of the Air was out already, but the interviews didn’t stop. During the first weeks of her pregnancy, it was easy to hide, her belly was flat, and she didn’t have any symptoms. But as she was in her 7th week, she started to get morning sickness.

-

She tried to listen to all the questions and the answers of her co-stars, but she felt like throwing up. Luckly for her, the microphone wasn’t attached to her, it was a microphone that she held in her hand. She put it far away from her, so the public won’t hear her humming, it was a tip Callum’s mom gave to her to prevent her from throwing up. But it didn’t work. ‘’Nate, I’m sorry to interrupt you, but I must go to the bathroom’’ she tried to hide her sickness in her voice. She got up and walked quickly backstage. ‘’Yeah, we can take a break, after Nate’s answer of course’’ The interviewer said. ‘’Oh, I was done, we can take a five-minute break’’ he said. Y/n was running to the bathroom, but an assistant was running next to her with a trash bin, in case she didn’t make it. She pulled the trash bin as she sat on a chair to empty her stomach in the trash. Callum walked up to her and pressed his hand on her back, to support her. He held her hair as she continued to puke her guts out. ‘’I’m sorry, I tried not to, but – ‘’ she threw up again. Austin and Anthony walked up to the couple; Nate was behind them. ‘’If my answer was that bad, you could’ve told me’’ he joked. Y/n looked at him, rolling her eyes before wiping her mouth with a tissue.

-

For the first few months, she succeeded in hiding her condition, but when her belly started to grow, it became harder. Her outfits became more baggy, which the internet found weird since she was always beautifully dressed. Some fans started to speculate about Y/n being pregnant, but the rumours stayed low. But when she reached mid second trimester, she decided to stop doing interviews, it was too risky. Now, the fans started to speculate, even the actors were asked questions about her not being with them anymore. They dodged the question and protected the secret of their colleague. Callum found it difficult, when she was with him, he could make sure that she was okay, now she was at home, he found it hard.

-

‘’The fans can’t stop asking about you, I think you should come to the next interview’’ Callum said, looking at his girlfriend, who was 8 months pregnant, with twins. It’s been a long time since she was in front of a camera, but he was right, the fans were becoming too much, and she should make a public appearance. ‘’Yeah, where’s the next one?’’ she asked, pushing on her arms to sit on the couch. ‘’It’s tomorrow, and it’s close, not a long drive’’ he said. ‘’Good, because the twins won’t be happy with me, dressing up and moving that much’’ she laughed. Her pregnancy was going well, because her doctor told her that if she wanted to go back to work, she could.

-

She was nervous, but the guys were so sweet. They were backstage, waiting for the interviewer to call them. ‘’It’s nice to see you back!’’ Ralf said, smiling. ‘’Thanks, I missed you guys’’ she breathed out. ‘’So please give it up for Austin Butler, Callum Turner, Anthony Boyle, Nate Mann, Ralf Laur, Barry Keoghan and the wonderful Y/n Y/l/n!’’ when the crowd heard her name, they made so much noise she thought the walls were going to collapse. But when they say her pregnant belly, the sound level exploded. Y/n smiled and waved at the crowd. She sat next to Callum and Austin. After minutes, the crowd finally went silent. ‘’Wow, you guys missed me that much?’’ Barry joked; he missed the last interview. Everyone laughed and waited for Y/n’s replies. ‘’Yes Barry, they were screaming for you’’ she teased, looking at him. She winked at the crowd and smiled. ‘’How are you, Y/n?’’ someone in the crowd yelled. ‘’I’m heavily pregnant with twins, thank you very much, how are you’’ she replied. The public laughed. ‘’Joke’s aside, I’m really great, I’m happy to be back’’ she said. The interview went well, but now, it was time for the public to ask questions. ‘’Before we start with the questions, please respect my private life, I will gladly answer your questions, but don’t push it’’ Y/n said. ‘’Hi everyone, I wanted to ask what’s a character trait or habit that stayed with you after filming?’’ the fan asked. Y/n raised her brows, the question was really good. The cast looked at each other, wondering who was going to go first. ‘’Well, Rose is a complex character. Uh, the thing I learned with her is that everyone is not invincible, it sounds stupid, but we often think that people, especially selfless people, can break sometimes and as a person that puts others first, it made me realise how important talking about it is. It might not be clear, but yeah, we’re all humans and you don’t know what people are going through.’’ She said, trying to be clear. The guys nodded. She smiled as she felt her babies kick, they were agreeing with her. Others answered and the microphone was passed to another fan. ‘’Hi, Y/n, Callum, how do you deal with the attention you’ve been getting since the beginning of the press tour?’’ one of the fans asked. They both looked at each other. ‘’It’s a lot, and we try to contain it, so it doesn’t affect people around us, like when Y/n posted the pictures on her Instagram and people were speculating about it, we had to ask Graham Norton to talk about our show, because that’s why we’re doing interviews, promote Master of the Air. So, we like it, but it can’t take too much in our lives’’ Callum said. ‘’That’s mainly one of the reasons why I came here today, people were only asking questions about me. So, we love it, but like Callum said, we love the attention, as long as it doesn’t become too much’’ she added.

It was time for the last question, fans were respectful with Y/n’s pregnancy, and she was grateful for it. ‘’Hi, Y/n I love you so much! Can I ask about what changed since you’re pregnant?’’ the fan was so sweet. ‘’Hi, uh, other than my body, my mentality changed a lot. I’m slowly realizing all the responsibilities that’s going to come with having twins. I also started to understand what parents mean when they say that it goes too fast. So, I’m understanding that I’m going to be a mother and it’s going to change me forever. But my body is the main change’’ she laughed. ‘’Do you know what you’re having, yet?’’ Anthony asked. ‘’Yes’’ she looked at Callum. ‘’We’re having two little girls’’ he said. The crowd cheered on the couple. ‘’Awn, do you have names yet?’’ Austin asked. They both nodded. ‘’We’re going to keep it secret until they come out, but yeah, we got it all figured out, the only thing that we don’t know is who the godfather is going to be’’ Y/n said. Barry and Anthony lifted their hand at the same time, making everyone laugh. ‘’You’re the godmother of my son, me!’’ Barry exclaimed, making Y/n laugh even more. ‘’We’ll come back to that later’’ Callum said, since his girlfriend was laughing too much, and wasn’t able to speak.

-

Austin sat at the end of the table; they were going to tell him that they wanted him to be the godfather. ‘’Why does this feel like an interrogation’’ he laughed. ‘’Sorry, we have something to ask you’’ Callum starts. ‘’Um, we want you to be the godfather of our girls’’ Y/n says, smiling. ‘’Are you joking?’’ he asks, smiling. ‘’No, we’re serious. You’ve always been there for us, and we want you to be there for our girls.’’ Callum explains. Austin’s eyes fill with tears as he nods. ‘’I would love to be the godfather of the babies you’re carrying’’ he says, looking at Y/n. When Austin stops talking, Y/n feels the babies kick, and they kick hard because she can see her belly move. ‘’I think they approved our choice’’ she laughs as she shows the two men the fight that’s taking place in her stomach.

-

The closer they were from the due date; the more Callum was freaking out and the more calm Y/n was. Frankly, Callum couldn’t understand how she was calm, she was about to push two babies out of her and looked like she came back from a Spa in Bali. ‘’Callum, honey, you’re giving me a headache, calm down. Everything is fine, I’m only 2 centimeters dilated, they can put me in the hospital when I’m at 3, we live 8 minutes away. It’s going to be fine’’ she giggled, seeing her boyfriend pacing around the living room. ‘’You are being too calm and it’s stressing me!’’ he said, looking at her. Y/n smiled and tried not to laugh. When she felt another contraction, she gave him a look, telling him to come sit down next to her so he could support her. But since he was stressing her, she asked him to go in their room and get her a new shirt, she was sweating. She breathed her way through it and timed it. She got up to walk around the house, in hope of making the contractions painless, but when she stood up, her water broke. ‘’Honey, don’t panic, but my water just broke’’ she shouted to Callum, he was in the other room. ‘’WHAT? IT’S HAPPENING?!’’ he yelled from their bedroom. ‘’Yes, it is’’ she replied.

-

Daisy Rose Turner and Ophelia Mary Turner, that was the name of the two newborns. Callum was holding Daisy, and Austin, who Y/n called to help Callum calm down, held Ophelia. Y/n was sleeping, the labour and delivery went on for 11 hours, she was a trooper. She did get the epidural, but her body was tired. Callum was so happy, he called his mom, telling her that his girls had her names as a middle name was something he was looking forward to ever since they decided on their names. When he broke the news, his mom immediately started to cry. Telling her son how proud of him she was and how excited she was to be a grandmother. ‘’Kaia was right, your children are so beautiful’’ Austin whispered. Callum smiled and looked at his daughters. ‘’Like their mother’’ he whispered back. Minutes later, Y/n woke up, she was still tired. ‘’Hey, how did you sleep?’’ Callum asked. ‘’Good, where are the girls?’’ she asked. ‘’The nurse took them to do their tests, Austin followed them.’’ He reassured her. She was traumatized by the baby kidnapping in Jane the Virgin, that was something she said to Callum very early in her pregnancy: You always follow our baby. In this case, babies. ‘’Thank you for making me a father, that’s something I’ve always dreamed about and I’m so grateful that you’re the mother of my girls.’’ Callum said, kissing her hand. Y/n was smiling, tears of joy immediately fell on her cheeks. ‘’And I’m ecstatic that you’re the father of my babies. I love you, Callum’’ she said, with a gentle voice. ‘’I love you too, Y/n’’