#mental stimulation and safety are the two things I always find myself craving and chasing in all my pursuits

[novadreii]

I've always been so attracted to smart men, but I'm also starting to realize I may need to deviate from that preference because it's maybe part of the problem. I've dated two engineers, a pre-med who is now a doctor, and a QA tester. All of them brilliant in terms of understanding logic, spatial reasoning, physics, memorization, pattern recognition, etc.

All of them could pick up any logic-based game and get the gist almost instantly. I find it sooooo attractive to be with a man who can teach me things I don't know, whose brain works like lightning at stuff that I am not naturally gifted with.

Sadly, where all of these men lacked was in emotional intelligence. They started off great, but then over time it became clear they found my emotions and need for connection on that level to be tiresome, confusing and not worth the effort of trying to understand, because emotions aren't logic-based which is where their gifts are.

The pre-med student was actually the best of the bunch and really loved me and tried his damndest to get me on a deep level, but it was clear his career would always be his #1 love and while that's fine, it's not what I'm looking for in a partner.

I think the next guy I date should be of like...a simpler variety? Like me? Not that I think I am stupid, or that any of these men were overall smarter than me. I am just more of a generalist, a street smarts kind.

Maybe someone who is not such a raging intellectual? I wish I could have both, because while the IQ is what forcefully attracts me to someone, what makes someone interesting and exciting, it's the EQ that I need to feel safe and loved in the long run. And I haven't really known any men, even platonically, who possessed both in the quantities that make me want to be with them long-term.