askgideongraves

[askgideongraves]

New pinned I say to my audience of 0 people because at the time I actually had a false ego and motives. It all went away, I'm a mere shell of what I was based on.

My pinned is hideous, I might redo it

[askgideongraves]

Gideon Graves ☆ He/Him ☆ plural ☆ Adult [both myself and my cell] ☆ NOT A RP/IRL/KIN/ ACCOUNT.

Catch any post before it's deleted because sometimes, I get censored on my own blog

DNI:

☆ pro/comship or whatever the hell. Including any allies

☆ Zoo/pedo/necrophiles and any allies

☆ ZIONISTS/ISREAL DEFENDERS

☆ Anyone who is anti-trans/lgbtq+/ immigration and if you have strong opinions about non-white people in general. I am not a pasty white man we're brown.

☆ Trump supporters

THIN ICE:

☆ Gideon Graves self-shippers. Over time I've had a disconnect from him as a person [ because I am not him ] so I stopped caring but please do not repost my stuff with the impression that I am a rp account. People who were here before who have not done stuff like that are fine. You guys can stay, just keep it separate from me

I won't do any introductions regarding what I'm part of but I am very blank all the time, I cannot feel genuine joy. Don't assume I'm angry, I am still trying to figure out how to properly communicate with anyone without sounding defensive all the time.

[askgideongraves]

My pinned is hideous, I might redo it

[askgideongraves]

Theres something so soothing about music recordings from the 60's/70's that are so grainy and soft edged compared to crisp audio remasters later on. Music demos or not, it gives me some sort of peace of mind. It's like hearing static trying to compose itself as opposed to being completely randomized, therefore creating a droning noise. Especially from keyboards and older synths. I can ramble on about older electronics and how for me it correlates to a near religious feeling [ being mere comfort but for me the comfort I can feel is just enough to be that ].

[askgideongraves]

NAG NAG NAG [ATTIC DEMO] CABARET VOLTAIRE | 1977/78

[askgideongraves]

I wonder if anyone is pissed at the fact that I have an original "ask___" user for my blog because now it's not even used for its original purpose. I would distance myself from the entire character it but over time I've just gotten defensive over it, I need this to feel something even if it includes an overwhelming urge to be perceived a certain way.

[askgideongraves]

He's doing nothing but listening to Skrillex. Yet I get suppressed because I cannot socialize adequately with the people we know.

give me the damn aux

[askgideongraves]

I sound fucking ridiculous. This is probably why we got that diagnosis.

Being expected to laugh at anything is awkward. I do not find it amusing. I don't find anything funny. Not because I expect people to view me as a tough ass, but because I'm literally incapable. This and having to share a headspace is just a personal hell.

[askgideongraves]

I complain too much, at least the new one doesn't recognize me.

[askgideongraves]

This and people making the assumption that I'm mad at them. Unfortunately, I'm just not expressive.

Being expected to laugh at anything is awkward. I do not find it amusing. I don't find anything funny. Not because I expect people to view me as a tough ass, but because I'm literally incapable. This and having to share a headspace is just a personal hell.

[askgideongraves]

Being expected to laugh at anything is awkward. I do not find it amusing. I don't find anything funny. Not because I expect people to view me as a tough ass, but because I'm literally incapable. This and having to share a headspace is just a personal hell.

[askgideongraves]

Me: hey, why the hell is there suddenly religious headmates when we have a history of religious delusions?

God: Go take the industrial hemming machine from outside the hospital.

[askgideongraves]

Anyways, "its not easy being green" my ass, y'know how hard it is to be supposedly rich in a BROKE mans body. Especially when he doesn't allow half of us to do shit outside of the headspace. I have a job that doesn't EXIST.

[askgideongraves]

I keep trying to post on here oops. This blog is probably no longer an askblog anymore, it's going to be personal now. Sorry for everyone who followed me for a silly Gideon ask blog but it unfortunately it's not really working out. Im not a kin or whatever, hopefully not a delusion. I doubt it because even when we thought I was a delusion, I didn't leave. But yeah, don't expect fandom stuff here anymore. Sorry.

I'll make a new pinned soon but unfollow if you wanna, follow if you feel like it. I don't care very much.

[askgideongraves]

also are you cool with Gideon blog admins interacting with you?/genq. I run a gideon account (if my rp partners see this I'm cooked😭) and the character I was speaking about in my last ask was gideon,which I really should have specified I'm so sorry!! If ur not that's totally okay btw!!

-⭐️

IM CHILL WITH THE ADMINS INTERACTING WITH THIS BLOG!!

There's just general rules that apply to both of us [me and Gideon] I'm gonna have to update my pinned but it's just as long as you:

> Don't speak to/treat Gideon [my headmate] like a character.

He hates this a lot. It's weird because he's still connected to his source, he's aware that he's from a source and is technically a character, but RP stuff bugs him massively which is ironic given this blog lmfao. We're fine with general asks and interactions but the moment rp blogs get involved and try to rp with him then he gets pissy. It's hard to explain [especially since I don't wanna just throw like "triggers" out there.] But if I need to elaborate more, then I can.

> avoid sending us stuff about Gideon from the fandom. Seeing stuff from the comic is okay

If it comes to talking about the whole symptom thing and the fact that it happened with Gideon to us then we're both fine with it [assuming you'd continue interacting, if you do or not, it's all cool] A lot of the time he is kinda quiet unless he sees something that either intrigues or bothers him. He just hates seeing the fanon version of himself honestly. Any other Scott Pilgrim content is fine.

Like if you run a Gideon blog, I wouldn't mind if you're interacting with this blog since you're following those two rules even before they were said lol. It'd probably be jarring to Gideon if he saw like a pfp of what's supposed to be himself or anything but as long as anyone follows those two rules, then I think everything's cool.

I'm still also just trying to figure things out with the plurality thing so honestly, I might be inconsistent in the future regarding who could interact with "us".

Hopefully this all makes sense, my brain is scrambled all the time so if I said some confusing shit or need to elaborate then I can!!

[askgideongraves]

turns out I'm also a part of the role played as an evil character and got really manic and obsessive about the blog and started incorporating him as a majorrrr part of my personality and got really personal about something that was meant to be a shitpost club

(You don't need to reply but I wanted to speak to you since I feel less alone about things now so thanks)

-⭐️(on anon mode since I don't want to be made fun of)

im glad that my posts bring anyone some sort of reassurance cause getting these asks do the same for me ngl [a majority of the time irl, when I talk about anything which happens to be related to my symptoms or mental health, not a lot of people relate so they just pity me or treat me like I NEED medication so it's nice to see that I'm also not the only one who deals with stuff like this].

At this point there should be an online group or smth for us lmao, either that or i should bug my psychology professor about it since my only theory is that it relates to some form of dissociation but idk.

[askgideongraves]

if there were a club for people who roleplayed as irredeemably evil characters that which are a part of their identities outside of roleplay who they got manic about to an unhealthy degree and go between shitposting and feeling too personal and freaky about it all to even look at the blog, we would be the only two members, you and I

-your mutual romy who's on anon because spvtw fans scare me (answer this or not... I just wanted to express my solidarity🤝🤝)

OMG Romy!! Y'know I've thought about this a few times, starting from when the anime became relevant again and I think we had both lost our minds [in different ways sorta] when the Gideon fan base was like, 6 active people or something. Idk if for your case it was also Scott Pilgrim related but I swear Bryan Lee O'Malley put something in Gideon. Though I never mentioned anything in regards to expressing any sort of solidarity since I thought it would be too personal or smth lmfao 😭. [I also just don't know how to talk to people so theres that, but you seem pretty chill 💥💥]. Now I live with a Gideon fictive until he goes dormant, my therapist has heard it from him.

What irredeemable characters do to an mf /j