#mental health awareness 2019 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

the-bleeding-weave · 8 days ago

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Heres some miscellaneous tulpar crew headcanons :D

Anya

Shes 32 but gets mistaken for being older because she has dark circles under her eyes

She smokes regularly and its caused her voice to become deep and a little raspy, but still melodic and relaxing

Her favorite musicians are ethel cain, alex g, panchiko and neutral milk hotel. She loves atmospheric spooky music as well as melodramatic songs that have a story behind them.

Her favorite animals are bovines of any kind but she has a special love for bison

She grew up on a small farm in west virginia and has a soft spot in her heart for animals

She believes in some cryptids and swears up and down that shes seen a Not Deer in person. Growing up in Appalachia will do that to you

Daisuke loves listening to cryptid stories she knows

Shes seen some Freaky Shit while she was growing up, especially weird things with wildlife. She spent tons of her free time playing in the woods as a kid and has tons of creepy stories which caused her to become pretty superstitious

Shes half cherokee and japanese and likes engaging in her cultures a lot

One of her superstitions is that you cant whistle at night (she has 100% yelled at daisuke for doing it before)

She knows some navajo and a little bit of japanese

Her favorite movies are The Last Unicorn, Everything Everywhere all at Once, and Miss Peregrines home for Peculiar Children (she has a crush on miss peregrine)

She has a champagne colored 1999 toyota carolla that she loves dearly. His name is Frank and she regularly talks to him (mostly to keep herself from going insane from road rage but also just for fun)

Curly

His faceclaim is jensen ackles

Hes 35 years old and scouse/scottish

Hes a social drinker but only likes IPAs and indie craft beers, hes a tad pretentious about it but hes aware of it

He listens to a lot of dad rock and pop rock, like imagine dragons and aerosmith, but he also appreciates classic punk bands like rage against the machine. He has a guilty pleasure for Adele and his favorite song is "love in the dark" (he knows every single word to it by heart and sings it in the car)

He loves dramatic sappy love songs but hell never admit it

He had an emo phase in his teens that hes kinda embarrassed about. He got the classic swooped emo haircut and he repeatedly destroyed his curls with straighteners for YEARS. It took ages for his hair to recover

His favorite movies are The Green Mile and Interstellar

Hes intersex and hes very open about it, his pronouns are he/they but hell allow you to call him she/her if what youre gonna say is funny

He thrives on physical affection and LOVES giving hugs and patting people on the back. Hes very good at giving hugs too

He has a dark blue 2019 honda civic that he put a spoiler on just because it looks cool. He also got a sick sound system installed and loves just sitting in his car listening to music.

Jimmy (IF HE WAS A NORMAL PERSON AU)

Hes 34 and his face claim is Skeet Ulrich

He had an incel phase when he was an older teen/ in his 20s but grew out of it, now feels pretty embarassed about it but tries to teach other people how to avoid it

He has a modestly popular twitch channel where he plays games with guests (mostly curly and daisuke) and talks about life and mens issues, such as mental health awareness and self improvement (he hates the manosphere tho dont worry)

He likes debating right wing pundits and trolling the shit out of them

Him and anya are good friends even though he was an asshole to her in the past. He was super apologetic to her and since she saw he had changed a lot she accepted him back as a friend. (He did NOT assault her in this au he was just a misogynistic asshole)

He likes playing guitar and singing when hes alone

His favorite movies are the matrix and fight club and he will talk to you about breaking bad for HOURS

He has narcissistic personality disorder and tries to spread awareness about how its not just "The Disorder that Makes you Evil". Yes hes in therapy for it and tries to give tips to other people with npd about managing their disorder and being aware of how they treat other people

Hes able to do an eerily accurate impression of Dagoth Ur from Morrowind and loves saying out of pocket things with it

He has a red 2012 subaru forester that he pays no mind to. He has crashed 3 cars in the past tho, hes a terrible driver but refuses to admit it.

He never changes his oil, the check engine light has been on for months, and the rotors scream for mercy every time he so much as graces the brake pedal. Cars tremble in fear of this man.

Daisuke

Hes 22 years old, filipino, japanese, lao and mexican and takes a lot of pride in it

He was born in California but was raised with all of his cultures alongside american culture

Hes fluent in spanish and japanese but only partially fluent in vietnamese

He LOVES music and knows how to play guitar and the khaen

He listens to a lot of folk punk and takes inspiration from Harley Poe and Days n Daze. He makes his own songs but hes a little shy about playing them for people

He listens to tons of music genres but especially hyper pop, breakcore, jumpstyle, phonk, and parody stuff like lemon demon or weird al. He also has a special love for will wood (probably a small crush too)

He loves singing in groups and did it a ton on the tulpar, memorizing his favorite songs and playing them until the rest of the crew knew them too

It became a ritual that whenever daisuke was on his break hed get out his guitar and start up a song and anyone could join him in singing if they wanted. Anya and curly loved singing with him but jimmy only duetted the songs he really loved. Sometimes he would break out his own guitar to play with daisuke too

The favorite song to play for the whole crew was Psycho by harley poe and it even got swansea to join in as a backup baritone sometimes

They ended up really bonding over those duets and daisuke is really proud of that fact

Daisuke has a drivers license that he only recently got but he has no car

He loves getting stoned with anya and watching nature documentaries while they giggle at the stupidest things.

He cries pretty easily when he feels comfortable and safe with the people around him and hes trying to learn to be less afraid to show his emotions. Turns out, hes a VERY emotional person.

He cries easily if a song is especially beautiful and the one that never fails to jerk his tears is king park by la dispute, mainly the ending. He just adores the sheer power behind he vocals

His parents are really supportive but really want him to get out of the house and start his own life.

Swansea

Hes 60 years old and a proud italian new yorker/new jersey man

He sounds like a raspier tony soprano

He gambles causally but has a strict budget for himself

His favorite music is classic dad rock, some metal, jazz and blues but he especially likes frank Sinatra. Weirdly enough punk just isnt his thing

He has a wife named Andrea who he would literally kill for. Theyve been married for 30 years and they have 3 daughters

He drinks a lot of root beer. So much root beer.

He got arrested when he was 18 for punching a cop at a protest and beating the shit out of a nazi. He has his mugshot framed in his living room proudly.

He was a punk teen and he attended a lot of protests for queer rights and anti-police brutality. Now he doesnt really have the time for it but hes more than happy to give advice to young protesters and activists (wear a gas mask, conceal your identity, dont tell people youre going unless theyre going with you, and how to identity under cover cops)

His alcoholism started in his 20s and he got his shit together around his 30s but struggled on and off with addiction until finally going clean for 13 years straight

He loves white chocolate

He was actually like super model handsome when he was younger and is insecure about how alcoholism caused him to physically deteriorate (hes still handsome but he refuses to believe it)

Sopranos is his favorite show and he quotes it regularly

He has an old beat up 1997 ford f150 that he treats like a second wife and uses her to carry around his tools. He calls her bethany and gives her hood a pat before he gets in the driver seat every time.

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menherasy · 10 months ago

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original callout post is by @menheratic !! if you want more info, please ask them. i am merely reuploading the original callout post of ezaki. please do check out the link of the jp community calling him out in 2019 ^^ https://togetter.com/li/1327770

! The following post talks about the various bad things that Menhera-chan's creator, Ezaki Bisuko, has done.

Here a japanese summary of all the shit he did so far, including but not limited to:

• registering Yamikawaii as trademark

• sending his fans after gyaru YouTuber Usatani to harass her into a suicide attempt over unknowingly buying a shirt with stolen PPG fanart he drew

• himself buying products with stolen art, even promoting their sales, because it’s totally ok when he does it

• the reason why Usatan’s original design was changed aka it was a ripoff of Cult Party’s iconic rabbit mascot that was designed by their artist Maromika-chan

• wrote a whole guide on how to legally get away with sex work as child

• proof of him tracing art for the more detailed MCH artworks

• how he attended the Menhera Exhibit only to smear misogynist bullshit with blood on maxipads

• complaining about how anime for little girls are evil feminist agenda TM because ain’t nobody need men to be saved anymore

• boasting about being a fashion designer only selecting the finest fabrics for his merch when it’s actually made by the japanese equivalent of Redbubble

• “parody” works featuring child characters like Chibi Maruko-chan prostituting themself, the message being all women are whores regardless of age for the right amount of money

• the small “terms and conditions” shield he has at his con booths where you agree that you need to buy anything you touch

• how he setup an earthquake victim fundraiser only to keep the money

• telling his english fans they are not allowed to use any of his art for private use, like as icon, unless they pay him

• how he wants to move to the US when he turns 30 because of all the evil haters TM in Japan

• copyright claiming everyone left and right

• japanese Menhera speaking out about he keeps hurting the community

In regards of the maxi pads:

TW, CW // nooses, misogynistic text in red on maxipads

Our favorite being the second row second one, “Abortion is murder”.

Some more recent event: When he started harassing and hating on disabled people after Tokyo Fashion translated a Tweet of his because being disabled is discriminating yourself.

It’s like a trainwreck that refuses to end, now with 100% more crypto on NFT while shitting on those who warn about the dangers.

His NFT sales can be found here: https://foundation.app/@bisuko_ezaki

For some reason, after 7 years, he also decided to re-release the infamous wrist-cut bracelet to sell at events. The leader of the Neo-Decora group bought one for example:

TW // Bracelet that imitates sh, includes blood

Also keeps doing collabs with “Tokyo Uragawa” under Yamiko so Seigi (Mental illness is justice), which focuses on self-harming girls as fetish objects.

TW, CW // drawn sh

Recently, he also wrote a long-article on his definition of Yamikawaii:

https://harajuku-pop.com/67775/

Still not sure where overseas people got “this is about mental health awareness” from, might be based on mistranslations because the word for mental health and illness is one in the same, and his definition is about glorifying mental illness. In fact, this is why he was banned from Tumblr because he kept posting other people’s self-harm photos to his aesthetic blog Menherabusu.

Next up: Made suicide baiting posts over his following decreasing in the hopes of getting attention, fans sent him photos of cute animals to cheer him up, and he decided to post about destroying the pictures.

Tbh, this list could go on forever as he does this kind of bs on an almost daily basis now, but apparently people don’t care enough to stop throwing money at him.

Meanwhile the Japanese community made a whole Wiki for tracking all of his drama considering how much it is by now.

https://ezabisumatome.wiki.fc2.com/

TW // mention of shotacon

Decided to nickname himself Shotabi, the name being a combination of Shotacon and Bisuko, while using nsfw anime edits of male child characters in sexual situations as decor for his selfies.

𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐝:

Is it ok to still like Menhera-chan?

𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫:

Sure, the problem is really only Ezaki himself and his increasing problematic remarks fueled by his ego, the manga is a lot older than him being like that.

Fun fact: Ezaki actually hates Menhera-chan because it's the only thing he ever gets approached for by the media, he constantly rants about this on Twitter. If you have noticed, he barely makes new MCH content anymore (unless he gets paid for it) and mainly reposts old artworks and fanart (without permission) instead because it's the only way he can still get attention as his other works, like the misogynist Manapisu, which is just him hating on women as "dumb wh*res" as a manga, flopped badly.

Just try to not fund his bs by buying new goods.

#menhera #menhera chan #bisuko ezaki #archived #yamikawaii

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charliequmf · 14 days ago

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VOICES FOR TRANSGENDER INDIVIDUALS IN SUDAN .

Thesituation for transgender individuals in Sudan is particularly dire due to the intersection of cultural, legal, and social challenges. Sudanese society is predominantly conservative, influenced by strict cultural norms and interpretations of religious values that do not accept gender diversity. Here are some key challenges they face:

Legal Persecution

Sudanese laws criminalize behaviors considered "indecent" or "immoral," often targeting LGBTQ+ individuals, including transgender people. This puts them at risk of arrest, harassment, and severe punishments.

Changes in legal frameworks since the 2019 revolution have shown some progress, but protections for transgender individuals are largely absent.

Social Stigma

Transgender individuals face extreme social ostracization, discrimination, and violence from their communities, families, and society at large. Many are forced to suppress their identity to avoid conflict or harm.

Misunderstandings and lack of awareness about gender identity exacerbate prejudice.

Healthcare Barriers

Access to gender-affirming healthcare is virtually nonexistent. Transgender people are often denied basic medical care due to stigma or the lack of trained professionals who understand their needs.

Mental health services, already scarce in Sudan, are even less accessible to transgender individuals, leading to higher rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide.

Economic Exclusion

Employment discrimination forces many transgender people into precarious and informal jobs, leaving them vulnerable to exploitation and poverty.

Being open about their identity can result in job loss or difficulty finding work.

Physical and Emotional Violence

Transgender individuals are at high risk of physical and emotional abuse, both in public spaces and within their homes. Violence is often underreported due to fear of retaliation or further discrimination.

Hate crimes against transgender individuals often go unpunished due to societal indifference and institutional bias.

. Lack of Advocacy and Representation

Activism for transgender rights is limited and often suppressed by authorities. Many activists fear for their safety and operate underground.

The broader LGBTQ+ movement in Sudan is underdeveloped, and transgender issues are frequently sidelined even within these spaces.

The Way Forward

While the challenges are immense, advocacy, education, and international support can play a role in improving the situation for transgender individuals in Sudan. Initiatives to raise awareness about gender diversity, provide safe spaces, and push for legal reform are essential to ensuring their rights and dignity are upheld.

#ansexel #ftm #gay men #lesbians #lgbtq #mtf #nonbinary #pansexual #queer #trans

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covid-safer-hotties · 4 months ago

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Impact of COVID-19 on myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome-like illness prevalence: A cross-sectional survey - Published Sept 18, 2024

Abstract Background Myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS) can be triggered by infectious agents including severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2 (SARS-CoV-2). However, the impact of the coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) pandemic on ME/CFS prevalence is not well characterized.

Methods In this population-based cross-sectional study, we enrolled a stratified random sample of 9,825 adult participants in the Kaiser Permanente Northern California (KPNC) integrated health system from July to October 2022 to assess overall ME/CFS-like illness prevalence and the proportion that were identified following COVID-19 illness. We used medical record and survey data to estimate the prevalence of ME/CFS-like illness based on self-reported symptoms congruent with the 2015 Institute of Medicine ME/CFS criteria. History of COVID-19 was based on a positive SARS-CoV-2 nucleic acid amplification test or ICD-10 diagnosis code in the medical record, or self-report of prior COVID-19 on a survey.

Results Of 2,745,374 adults in the eligible population, an estimated 45,892 (95% confidence interval [CI]: 32,869, 58,914) or 1.67% (CI 1.20%, 2.15%) had ME/CFS-like illness. Among those with ME/CFS-like illness, an estimated 14.12% (CI 3.64%, 24.6%) developed the illness after COVID-19. Among persons who had COVID-19, those with ME/CFS-like illness after COVID-19 were more likely to be unvaccinated and to have had COVID-19 before June 1, 2021. All persons with ME/CFS-like illness had significant impairment in physical, mental, emotional, social, and occupational functioning compared to persons without ME/CFS-like illness.

Conclusions In a large, integrated health system, 1.67% of adults had ME/CFS-like illness and 14.12% of all persons with ME/CFS-like illness developed it after COVID-19. Though COVID-19 did not substantially increase ME/CFS-like illness in the KPNC population during the study time period, ME/CFS-like illness nevertheless affects a notable portion of this population and is consistent with estimates of ME/CFS prevalence in other populations. Additional attention is needed to improve awareness, diagnosis, and treatment of ME/CFS.

#mask up #covid #pandemic #covid 19 #wear a mask #public health #coronavirus #sars cov 2 #still coviding #wear a respirator

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libraryspectre · 2 months ago

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If you're a new fan of mcr and would like to learn about the band's history, or an old fan who'd like to learn more, or if you're the type of person who enjoys hearing people talk about things you already know, I have a suggestion!

This is the first of a four-episode series this podcast did on mcr, one episode per album. They're huge fans and are musicians themselves, and they do a pretty good overview of the band's story from the conception of Bullets to the end of the band. They're clearly having a ton of fun getting to talk about this band. They get a few things wrong, but afaik nothing too egregious, mostly common misconceptions among the fanbase. (Also, for 3 guys who claim they're straight, they make increasingly 🤨 statements about Ray especially, I was cackling). (And in reference to the episode title, yeah, they incredulously giggle their way through a paragraph of Frerard fanfic).

If you're up for a longer commitment, My Chemical Fancast is a great listen. The hosts Kat and Hallie started the show in 2018 and go through every mcr song in chronological order, covering about 3 songs an episode. They're very knowledgeable and talk about the story of the song, the production, influences, themes, etc. They also have episodes covering the albums as a whole, and what was going on with the band during production and between albums. Later episodes also cover themes like mcr and mental health, the queer community, fan culture, etc. Then, in 2019, as they're finishing up Conventional Weapons, the return was announced and you get to see them go through the Shrine show, tour announcement, release of Foundations, and then the actual tour in real time. It's so fun to have a record of what long-time fans were feeling at that time! My favorite thing about this show is that the hosts are very knowledgeable, very enthusiastic, but also very grounded and self-aware, which is refreshing for this fandom lol

Go forth and have fun! Learn something! Engage with the art you love by learning more about it in order to understand it more deeply!

#mcr #my chemical romance #you might think im exaggerating with the first guys but like.#in the black parade episode they talk about the famous last words solo #and there was a moment where i was like WHOAAA buddy calm down a little

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bidotorg · 1 year ago

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Happy birthday to our favorite Bi Betty, Lili Reinhart!

Lili Reinhart is best known for her role as Betty Cooper on the popular TV series "Riverdale," which is based on the Archie Comics. She has received critical acclaim for her performance on the show and has become a prominent figure in the entertainment industry.

She was born in Cleveland, Ohio, and developed an early interest in acting and the performing arts. She started her acting career in community theater and school plays.

Her breakthrough came with the role of Betty Cooper on "Riverdale," a character known for her intelligence and determination. The show premiered in 2017 and quickly gained a dedicated fan base, propelling Lili Reinhart to fame.

In addition to her work on "Riverdale," Lili Reinhart has been involved in various film projects. She has appeared in movies like "Hustlers" (2019) alongside Jennifer Lopez and "Chemical Hearts" (2020), which she also executive produced.

Lili Reinhart has been an advocate for mental health awareness and body positivity. She has openly discussed her own struggles with mental health issues and has used her platform to raise awareness and promote self-acceptance.

#lgbt #queer #bisexuality #lgbtq #lgbtqia #bi pride #bi visibility #bivisibility #representationmatters #bi women #lili reinhart #riverdale #betty cooper #bisexual

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shyphonics · 9 months ago

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Salad Days Chapter 5: We Are The One

This chapter is certified 18+™ for smut and light mental health crisis (we've all been there... right?)

I'm sorry if I'm rusty lol. Also, I made a tag list! Let me know if you want in :) this is looking like it's gonna be pretty long.

one | two | three | four

It’s your turn for soundcheck now, and… Jesus, you’re actually nervous. It’s been forever since you’ve been nervous.

You’ve played The Strike every week for about a year now, slowly creeping your way from dead Monday shows, to decent Thursday shows, to electric weekend shows.

You’ve worked your ass off to move from the merch table spot in the dark, at the edge of the dance floor, to one of the spots under the lights and the AC unit.

You know every person here, at least by face, and they know you. Either from the band or the bar. Except for Rodrick and his friends, that is.

You’ve never headlined before, though, and something about your first time is making you shaky.

So, here you stand, face to face with yourself in the bathroom mirror. Jessica, your lead guitar, is against the wall, cool as can be in her vinyl pants. She blows out a long puff of smoke, and fluffs out her short, green hair with one hand.

“We’re gonna be fine. It’s like any other night.”

But it’s not like any other night, not to you.

Is it Rodrick? Are you trying to impress him? That’d be really fucking stupid. You don’t do what you do to impress people.

That, and you’re pretty sure he’d be impressed no matter what you do.

But…

You don't quite know what's happening to you, whether it's how good he’d looked on stage, or the feelings that overcame you when that douchebag sucker-punched him.

Maybe it's a combination of both.

On stage, he'd been sexy and self-assured. Playing those drums like it was nothing. Making your heart flutter with a wink and a smile, like you were a dumb lovestruck teenager at her first concert again.

After that guy had hit him… he got vulnerable. He'd looked so sad, defeated almost. Hurt, not just physically, but emotionally. It made you wonder if those two had a history. It made you want to latch onto him and make him all better.

It seems like Rodrick, whether he’s aware of it or not, knows just where to hit to take down your walls.

“We gotta go,” Maureen pops her head into the restroom.

You push your little emotional breakthrough back in and take a deep breath.

This isn't the time for that.

You climb the side steps, as you have a hundred times, and start fighting audio cables until everything looks right.

Pink cord goes from amp to overdrive pedal. Black cord goes from tuning pedal to bass.

Fuck. Is that even right? You don’t know anymore.

Low notes come from your amp, and you breathe a sigh of relief.

Everyone else is all set up, and you look around. It’s time.

Soundcheck is quick. Too quick. You adjust your setlist with your foot, and stretch out your fingers.

Eddie pushes his glasses up and gives you a thumbs up.

You just gotta start, and then you’ll be fine.

“Hey fuckers!” Your voice comes out more powerful than you'd expected, “We’re The Shrieks!”

The crowd comes alive. Deep breaths.

The lights are up, the crowd is buzzing and you- wow. You're glowing. You look so confident and fucking cool, all lit up in gold stage lights.

Rodrick watches as you and your bandmates give each other a nod.

A note rings out. A second. A third. A fourth.

The song explodes, and Rodrick’s mouth falls open. You’re hopping, and shaking your hair out, really hyping yourself up.

Then you open your lips. Rodrick is enamored. No high school crush he ever had could compare to how he feels right now. He gives in to the movement of the crowd, and it feels like being in the ocean. Bodies all moving as one.

There’s a smile on his face that just won’t go away. He’s never been to a show quite like this.

He holds on to the front of the stage just to watch you, taking in the absolute power you’re giving off. Trying his best to read your lips and hear every word.

I am the one who brings you the future

I am the one who buries your past

A new species, I come from the ruins

I am the one that was made to last

We are not Jesus (Christ!)

Oh, no, we are not fascist (pigs!)

Oh, no we are not capitalist (industrialists!)

Oh, no, we are not communists

We are the one

The party’s still going, even after everyone has shuffled out and the doors are locked. Mike has commandeered the sound booth and is playing “some shit from the good old days.”

You're up in the storage loft above the stage, wrapping up cables and boxing up mics. You close a tackle box full of neatly rolled cords and notice Rodrick down by the stage.

You sit and just watch him for a minute, trying to figure out if your bathroom mirror crisis was just pre-show jitters.

He looks like he's looking for you, craning his neck around and slowly spinning in place.

He's just such a dork.

You’re not sure if you can even be snarky with him anymore.

It's been a really long time since you had a crush on someone. Especially one like this. You're used to being in control, giving no more of yourself than you want to. For all you know, when you get down there, you'll be giggling like an idiot at his mercy.

Pull yourself together.

“I love this song,” you drop down from the storage loft, hopping off the stage, landing in front of Rodrick. Trying to play it cool.

He jumps when you appear, a smile spreading across his face.

“You were amazing.” He sighs.

“Back at you,” you restrain yourself from grinning.

You're still buzzing with adrenaline, and it spurs you on to try something. You step forward, and clasp your arms behind his neck.

His eyes widen, but after some hesitation, he brings his hands to your waist. The two of you begin to sway, a little uncoordinated, to the music. You look up into his eyes. He looks nervous, but a small smile is beginning to form on his face.

Your giddiness starts to fade away, and you feel a little more in control of yourself.

“Did you go to your prom?” You ask.

“Hell no,” Rodrick scoffs, “Did you?”

“I didn't even graduate,” you laugh, “so no. But it explains why we're kinda bad at this.”

“I don't think we're that bad,” He attempts to spin you. You both break out in a fit of giggles as your back hits his chest and you recenter.

“I wanna do that, like, every weekend forever.” He sighs.

“That's not a hard ask. I can show you some of the other venues when I'm free. You guys will be working the circuit in no time.” You look up at him.

Rodrick’s smile is so genuine. He looks completely content.

The world disappears around you as you get lost in the song, swaying and spinning, staring into each other's eyes. You've never been so glad to have taken a chance on someone.

“How's your lip?” You ask.

“It's okay,”

“Does it hurt?”

“Not really.”

You hesitate, then lean upwards, testing the water.

He seems to be thinking the same thing, and he leans down to meet your lips.

The kiss is warm and familiar, all traces of awkwardness are gone. It feels like you know each other. He brings a hand up to cup your cheek and pulls away.

“So am I allowed to like you now?” His voice is lower than before. He holds you close to him, one arm tight across your lower back.

“You feel like you could pass a field sobriety test?” You smirk.

“Yeah?” Rodrick raises an eyebrow.

“Okay. You're allowed.”

He laughs, rolling his eyes, and leans in to kiss you again, but you both quickly turn to the sound of someone clearing their throat. It's one of his bandmates, the blonde one. He's avoiding looking at either of you.

“Hey, Rodrick, uh, you two…” He clears his throat again, “The other bands invited us out to eat, and we were gonna go… but it looks like you're busy.”

Rodrick blinks at you, “Are you gonna go?”

“Yeah, let's go. You should get some carbs in you. Soak up all that booze, or you're gonna have a bad morning.” You detach from him, and walk towards the back door.

Your car is parked right next to their van, and Rodrick looks like he's hesitating getting in with his friends. You roll your window down and raise your eyebrow at him.

“Do you… wanna ride with me?”

He looks surprised, “Can I?”

“Yeah, get in.” You lean over and pop the door open, butterflies swirling in your stomach.

He bounces into your passenger seat, beaming.

“You know where to go, right?” You shout into the van. Rodrick’s friends give you a thumbs up.

You roll the window up, and pull out of the parking lot.

Rodrick is drumming on his knees to a song playing in your car. You watch him out of the corner of your eye and smile a little. You think of the day you met him, all pent up energy and rock n roll, baby!

Big, dumb dog.

He moves a hand to your thigh and continues drumming the rhythm. You feel a blush creeping onto your cheeks. His eyes are locked on your thigh as it bounces to the beat.

You pull up outside the old Waffle House, and it looks like you're the first to make it.

“Let's wait,” you sigh, leaning back, turning up the music.

His hand stills on your thigh. You close your eyes, honestly exhausted from the show.

His hand moves upward to rest in the crook of your hip, and the corner of your mouth curls up. You turn your head to look at him.

“What're you doin’?”

“Nothing,” he says, trying to sound inconspicuous.

Rodrick’s heart is going a mile a minute. He'd been so confident back at the bar, but here, with you, just you, he’s freaking out a little.

He studies your face in the glow of an orange street light. Your eyes, the slope of your nose, the curve of your lips. He wants every feature burned into his memory forever. His hand is warm against your hip. You put your hand over his and he smiles.

“What, did you get scared or something?” You smirk.

“No…” Rodrick lies.

You kiss him again, and he melts into it. He slips one hand into the back of your hair and pulls you closer. You maneuver over the center console to get in his lap, and he breathes out deeply. The kiss gets messy, like all the energy of the night is coming out between your lips. Your hands are shaking. One rests on Rodrick’s shoulder, the other in his hair, and you make a noise as he bites your lip lightly.

“Sorry, is that okay?” He whispers.

You pull him in, and bite him back harder.

He groans, and his hold on your waist tightens.

He's snaking a hand under the hem of your shirt, when there's a tentative knock on the window. You pull away from each other.

“God dammit!” Rodrick pants.

It's Ward, with a hand over his mouth, feigning being scandalized.

“Oooooooh,” he taunts, when you're both out of the car, “I knew it.”

You roll your eyes, and keep the door open with your foot as the guys pour in. People from the show are everywhere, this is a decently common occurrence. You find a seat between your band and Rodrick’s at the bar. Maureen, your drummer, offers you a fist bump, and leans into your ear.

“He's cute,” she whispers, “did you drive here with him?”

You nod, suppressing a goofy grin.

“Do you think you're gonna…?”

You shrug.

“Up to him,” you whisper back.

The waitress, a blonde with a buzz cut and a face full of piercings, greets you by name, and asks, “Usual?”

Once your orders are in, Rodrick puts his hand securely on your thigh.

“Do you guys come here a lot?”

“Oh yeah, at least every weekend,” you lower your voice, “That's Jeanine, she's our regular. Then Martin and Rosie, who have worked here since the beginning of time. Then there's Carla. She's new. Last weekend, she and Martin were fighting because she kept getting orders wrong.”

He narrows his eyes and looks at each person you point at.

“Do you just come here to eavesdrop?” he asks quietly, suppressing a laugh.

“It's fascinating. Just watch.”

The two of you eat in silence and observe the inner workings of Waffle House.

Rodrick nudges you as Carla scrapes a plate into the trash, and Martin yells, Dammit, Carla! Chunked and covered! Not scattered!

Carla throws her apron to the floor and flips him off with both hands. Fuck you, old man!

“Oh shit,” you whisper.

“Damn,” Rodrick turns to look at you.

As your eyes meet, and the bell on the door jingles aggressively, you can't hold in your laughter anymore.

"He's such an asshole." Rodrick whispers, giggling in disbelief. Does every diner job just suck ass?

"I know, this Waffle House is under a dictatorship," you laugh

You both calm down, and end up just staring at each other.

“Rodrick, I don't wanna be too… forward, but…” you trail off.

His face goes blank.

“Do you wanna… get out of here? With me?”

Rodrick drops his fork, and snatches his tab off the counter.

“Yes,” his voice is feverish.

You follow behind him, and wave goodbye to everyone on your way out.

You'll absolutely get teased for this later on, but who gives a fuck?

Now, I've drunk a lot of wine and I'm feeling fine

Gotta race some cat to bed

Oh, is there concrete all around?

Or is it in my head?

Rodrick’s hands are on you the moment you shut your front door.

He backs you up against it, bringing his lips to yours once again. His lips creep down to your jaw, then your neck. Then he's on his knees, pushing the hem of your shirt up, kissing your stomach, your hip bones.

Your hands are in his hair, stroking and tugging.

“I don't know what it is about you,” Rodrick murmurs between kisses, “I just knew, I had to…”

“Me too,” you laugh a little, “I'm not usually this easy.”

He grins deviously up at you, undoing your bottoms.

“So you don't bring someone home like this after every show?” He gives your waist a little bite.

“No, god, no,” you chuckle, “this should be too fast, but something about this, you just feel right."

“Why me?” He pauses, looking up at you.

“You're just,” you look down at him. His dark doe eyes drill into yours, plump lips slightly open. You feel his hot breath on you, and it sends a shiver up your spine, “Jesus, you're just fucking hot. And you're not, like, an asshole about it. You could've taken any girl in that bar home tonight.”

“I wanted you,” his lips twitch, and without hesitation, he lifts you up, and sets you back down on your kitchen counter. He plants soft kisses on your thighs, and pauses to look up at you. It makes your head cloudy.

“Can I try something?” His voice is breathy.

You're still recovering from the shock of being lifted like that.

“Yeah,” you say, in slight disbelief, looking down at him.

He plants a kiss on your panties, and then removes them completely. You heartbeat skyrockets.

“I might be kinda bad, but… I've always wanted to try.”

You watch him gaze over your wetness. You truly cannot believe what's happening right now. He looks lustful, but focused, like he's trying to form a plan. Then without warning, he just dives in.

You hadn't expected much from him, but damn, he knows what he's doing. A shocked moan leaves your lips.

Your body feels electric as he snakes his tongue through your folds, finding all the places that make you whimper. He grunts, and you practically feel it reverberate through your whole body. You wrap your legs around his head and pull him closer. His tongue circles your clit and you throw your head back. His plush lips cover so much ground as he gives you a light suck.

“You sure you've never done this before?” Your weak voice teases him.

He pulls away with a pop, making you shudder.

“Nuh-uh,” he shakes his head, “I’ve just thought about it a lot.”

“Well, you're doing fucking great.”

He gives you a sly grin and goes back in.

Your back starts to arch as he flicks, and sucks, and swirls his tongue. Your moans mix with his soft grunts and you realize you're starting to come undone. You grab a handful of his hair and roll your hips.

“Keep going,” you gasp, “I-I’m…”

His eyes flick up to meet yours and that does it. Your body jolts, and you squeeze your eyes shut as an orgasm rattles through you, the counter cool against your body.

He slows his actions, and comes to rest on your thigh again.

When you're recovered, you sit up, and put your hands on his shoulders. You kiss him hard, tasting yourself, and feel a new arousal awaken in you.

“Was that really okay?” His eyes plead with you.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You pant, holding his face in your hands, and he looks bashful, “Best I've ever had.”

You hop down from the counter.

“Your turn.”

“Are you sure?” He stutters.

You take him by the hand, and lead him across the small apartment to your bed.

Rodrick’s breath is shaky as he leans against the edge.

“Take your shirt off,” you tell him, and he does.

His eyes are hazy with lust, and he grunts when you kiss him. You run your hands over his chest. The muscles in his core are tight, and you can feel his heartbeat. Hard and fast.

You kneel, and your hands find the tight bulge in his jeans. He bites his lip as you unbuckle his belt and free him from his boxers.

It's a good length, fairly weighty, and he groans when you take it in your hands. You look up into his eyes and lightly roll your tongue over the tip. His knees buckle, and he sits back on your bed. You chuckle and scoot closer, steadying yourself between his legs.

“So… safe to assume you've never done this either?”

You fit him further into your mouth, trying to wet as much as you can.

“One time… almost,” he says, labored, “we were in a car and the cops knocked on the window.”

“Fuckin’ pigs,” you shake your head, then take him in as far as you can get him.

He lets out a long, low noise. You grasp the rest of his length with your hand and pump lightly. His thigh shakes under your other hand as you swirl your tongue.

You catch his eye and come up for air, licking him from base to tip. His eyes roll back, and you laugh.

“Should I keep going, or is this gonna take you out of commission?” You tease.

“Please… keep going,” Rodrick breathes.

His mind is foggy as he feels himself enter your mouth again. He can't even process what he's feeling, all he knows is he never wants it to stop. He doesn't feel in control of his own body. His hands desperately search for a grip on your comforter as you bob your head.

He tries his best to focus, to keep his eyes on you, but he feels something in himself start to slip. He throws his head back and closes his eyes, barely keeping himself up on his elbows. His legs tremble as he feels himself hit your throat and he lets out a long moan.

Then your mouth is gone, and he opens his eyes, desperate for the feeling to come back.

You crawl on top of him and straddle him.

“Scoot back,” you murmur, and he obliges.

You lean down to kiss him, and his hands come to rest gently in your hair.

Something still feels weird in his head. He doesn't think he's drunk anymore, but even the low light of your apartment feels too bright. His ears are ringing, maybe still from the noise of the bar. He feels his heart start to beat out of his chest, and he holds on to you for dear life.

It feels like he's dreaming, but maybe as long as his hands are on you, he'll be okay.

You're saying something. The words don't quite reach him, but he nods anyway. Eager for something to pull him back into reality.

A little voice in the back of his head is hissing. He tries to blow it off, but it's persistent, fighting him.

You don't deserve this.

Fuck his stupid brain. He wants to be present with you. He wants to hold onto every little second of this, keep it forever. It feels like you're far, far away from him, even as he watches you take your shirt off and feels your hips, warm on his.

The ringing in his ears subsides a little as your lips touch his again.

“Let me know if you want to stop, you look a little overwhelmed.” You whisper.

“No,” Rodrick urges, “I never wanna stop,”

You laugh, and start to kiss a trail down his chest.

He sighs into the feeling and closes his eyes.

The fuzz in his head isn't gone, though.

Yet.

It'll go away, he knows it.

He just needs to focus. On you, on how good you're making him feel.

On how good he'd made you feel, he's pretty damn proud of that.

Just stay in the moment.

Please, just stay in the moment.

And now I'm ready to close my eyes

And now I'm ready to close my mind

And now I'm ready to feel your hand

And lose my heart on the burning sand

And now I wanna be your dog

Well, c'mon

tag list: @crumpets-are-better-with-jam

#if the smut is bad i'm so sorry #i am hyperventilating hovering over the post button #i tried ok #have fun gang #also the waffle house encounter is based on my real life #rodrick heffley #rodrick heffley x reader #rodrick x reader #doawk rodrick #rodrick heffley fanfic #salad days #my stuff #Spotify

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 10 months ago

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By: Julian Adorney, Mark Johnson and Geoff Laughton

Published: Mar 23, 2024

In The Divine Conspiracy, Dallas Willard tells the story of a jet fighter pilot who was practicing high-speed maneuvers. As Willard puts it, “She turned the controls for what she thought was a steep ascent—and flew straight into the ground. She was unaware that she had been flying upside down.”

What if we were flying upside down? But let’s go further. What if an entire generation was flying upside down–flying through fog and danger, unable to see either ground or sky, and the well-intended adjustments pushed on them by “experts” were just bringing them closer to catastrophe?

That’s the lens through which we interpret Abigail Shrier’s New York Times bestseller Bad Therapy.

There’s no denying that the youngest generation is in crisis. As the Addiction Center notes, members of Generation Z “run a higher risk of developing a substance abuse problem than previous age groups.” A 2015 report found that 23.6 percent of 12th graders use illicit drugs. The American Psychological Association reports that just 45 percent of Gen Zers report that their mental health is “very good” or “excellent,” compared with 51 percent of Gen Xers and 70 percent of Boomers. A concerning 42 percent of Gen Zers have been diagnosed with a mental health condition, and an astounding 60 percent take medication to manage their mental health.

It gets worse. The rate of self-harm for girls age 10-14 increased over 300 percent from 2001 to 2019 (before the pandemic). According to a 2021 CDC survey, 1 in 3 teenage girls have seriously considered killing themselves.

Well-meaning therapists, teachers, and school counselors are trying to help the next generation to rise up. But what if everyone involved is upside down? What if, like the fighter pilot that Willard describes, what they think is rising up is actually bringing them into deeper danger? Shrier makes a strong case that that’s exactly what’s happening.

Lots of educators encourage kids to spend more time checking in with their feelings. In the 2021-2022 school year, 76 percent of principals said that their school had adopted a Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) curriculum. Common SEL practices include: asking students how they’re feeling at the start of each day, teaching that students should be more aware of how they’re feeling in any given moment, and encouraging students to use activities like writing and art to express their feelings.

The problem is that all of this obsession with feelings can actually make students feel worse. As Yulia Chentsova Dutton, head of the the Culture and Emotions Lab at Georgetown University, says, “Emotions are highly reactive to our attention to them.” “Certain kinds of attention to emotions, focus on emotions,” she explains, “can increase emotional distress. And I’m worried that when we try to help our young adults, help our children, what we do is throw oil into the fire.” Or to put it another way: when we ask kids over and over again how they’re feeling, we’re subtly and accidentally encouraging them to feel bad.

The reason is that, as psychiatry professor Michael Linden explains, most of us don’t feel happy all the time. Dealing with life involves ignoring a certain amount of moment-by-moment discomfort: I’m tired, my feet hurt, I’m sore from sitting down all day, I’m a little worried about my mom. When we encourage kids to check in many times per day on how they’re feeling, we’re tacitly encouraging them to bring to the surface–and then dwell on–all the things going on in their minds that are not “happiness.” That’s why, as Linden puts it, “Asking somebody ‘how are you feeling?’ is inducing negative feelings. You shouldn’t do that.”

But it gets worse.

Obsessing over our emotions can actually prevent us from doing the things that might make us feel better. Anyone who’s spent too long wallowing after a bad break-up knows this; at a certain point, you have to shelve your unpleasant emotions so that you can get on with your life. Psychologists describe two mental states that we can occupy at any given time: “action orientation” and “state orientation.” “State orientation” is where you focus primarily on yourself (e.g., how you feel about doing the task at hand, whether your wrist hurts or you’re starting to get sick, etc.). “Action orientation” is where you primarily focus on the task at hand. As a study published by Cambridge University Press notes, only the latter is actually conducive to pursuing and accomplishing goals. “State orientation is a personality that has difficulty in taking action toward goal fulfillment,” the authors warn. By encouraging young people to focus so much on their feelings, we might be hurting their ability to adopt the mindset necessary to accomplish goals in life. If so, that would make them even more unhappy.

But the dangers posed by well-meaning “experts” telling students to fly in the wrong direction–towards the ground instead of towards the sky–go well beyond encouraging unhappiness and depression. Rates of suicide and self-harm for young people are skyrocketing. But in their attempts to cope with the spike, well-meaning administrators might be making the problem worse. Here are questions from the 2021 Florida High School Youth Risk Behavior Survey, administered to students age 14 and up:

During the past 12 months, did you ever feel so sad or hopeless almost every day for two weeks or more in a row that you stopped doing your usual activities? During the past 12 months, did you ever seriously consider attempting suicide? During the past 12 months, did you make a plan about how you would attempt suicide? During the past 12 months, how many times did you actually attempt suicide? If you attempted suicide during the past 12 months, did any attempt result in an injury, poisoning, or overdose that had to be treated by a doctor or nurse?

A survey authored by the CDC asked students “During the past year, did you do something to purposely hurt yourself without wanting to die, such as cutting or burning yourself on purpose?” Another survey offered this question to Delaware middle schoolers: “Sometimes people feel so depressed about the future that they may consider attempting suicide or killing themselves. Have you ever seriously thought about killing yourself?”

Administrators may be asking these questions with the best of intentions, but the end result is to normalize suicide in young peoples’ minds. If you were 12 years old and taking a survey like this along with all of your classmates, you might reasonably conclude that suicide, or at least suicidal ideation and/or self harm, were pretty common at your school. Otherwise, why would everyone your age have to take such an exhaustive assessment about it?

One reason this is so dangerous is that, as Shrier writes, “The virality of suicide and self-harm among adolescents is extremely well-established.” Following the release of Netflix’s TV show 13 Reasons Why, which some said valorized a fictional girl who killed herself, several studies found a spike in teen suicide rates. The CDC agrees. In a post warning about the dangers of “suicide contagion,” the CDC said that journalists should avoid things like:

“Engaging in repetitive, ongoing, or excessive reporting of suicide in the news.”

“Reporting ‘how-to’ descriptions of suicide.”

“Presenting suicide as a tool for accomplishing certain ends” (i.e., as a “means of coping with personal problems”).

But this is most of what the surveys described above are doing. They are deluging students with repetitive and excessive discussion of suicide. They are describing different methods for killing yourself (e.g., cutting or burning yourself). One survey, which asks students who have considered killing themselves why they did so (possible answers include “demands of schoolwork,” “problems with peers or friends,” and “being bullied”) is a textbook example of presenting suicide as a “means of coping with personal problems.”

The authors of these surveys seem to at least recognize the risk that students are flying upside down, and that these surveys might take them closer to the ground. One survey concludes by telling students, “If any survey questions or your responses have caused you to feel uncomfortable or concerned and you would like to talk to someone about your feelings, talk to your school’s counselor, to a teacher, or to another adult you trust.” The survey also includes links to different hotlines.

Communicating to kids that suicide is normal and a possible solution to their problems might be the worst way that some schools are failing kids, but it’s also far from the only way.

Schools are increasingly lax about standards, willing to let almost anyone get away with almost anything. Some accommodations do make sense: for example, it makes sense to give a kid with dyslexia more time to complete the verbal component of the SAT. But Shrier argues that standards are falling for perfectly healthy students too. “School counselors—students’ in-school ‘advocates,’” Shrier writes, now “lobby teachers to excuse lateness or absence, forgive missed classwork, allow a student to take walks around the school in the middle of class, ratchet grades upward, reduce or eliminate homework requirements, offer oral exams in place of written ones, and provide preferential seating to students who lack even an official diagnosis.”

Shrier documents stories of students who have been allowed to turn in work late because they were having a “tough Mental Health Day” or because “I was having a rough day and dealing with my gender identity.”

The problem with this is that one of the primary things that children and teenagers do is try to figure out the boundaries of the world. When a child throws a tantrum, it’s not malicious–they’re trying to understand this new world and figure out what they can get away with. As Jordan Peterson writes in Twelve Rules for Life, young children are “like blind people, searching for a wall.” “They have to push forward, and test,” he writes, “to see where the actual boundaries lie.” What’s true of young children is also true of older children and even (to a lesser extent) adults. All of us are trying to figure out the rules of life–that is, what we can get away with. If well-meaning teachers and counselors tell students that one of the rules is that you don’t have to do your homework on time if you say that you’re having a rough day, then we shouldn’t be surprised when more young people seem to manifest rough days.

But this is the opposite of what students need–especially the truly disadvantaged students who so many of these efforts seem to be aimed at helping. In his memoir Troubled, clinical psychologist Rob Henderson writes that, “People think that if a young guy comes from a disorderly or deprived environment, he should be held to low standards.” But, he warns, “this is misguided. He should be held to high standards. Otherwise, he will sink to the level of his environment.”

So kids are depressed, anxious, and poorly behaved. Educators are trying to help them by encouraging them to tap in more to their feelings, by asking them more questions about suicide, and by trying to accommodate their difficulties even more. But all of this is backwards. Educators are encouraging students to do what they think will take them higher–away from the ground and back to the safety of the sky. But both kids and educators are upside down. And every adjustment that the “experts” are telling kids to make just brings them closer to the ground–and a catastrophic collision.

Now’s a good time to emphasize that this isn’t all schools, all teachers, or all administrators–not by a long shot. There are heroic educators working every day to help students to rein in their problems, stop taking advantage of accommodations that they don’t need, and develop the emotional resilience to deal with the problems of adolescence. But the problems documented above do represent a trend. And while it’s not every school, the trend is too big to ignore.

What will happen if this trend continues–if an entire generation keeps going “up” until they crash into the ground? Most severe and most damaging is the harm to the generation itself. Shrier tells the story of Nora, a 16-year-old girl who helps put a human face on all of the brutal statistics described in the introduction to this piece. Nora describes her friends as going through a litany of serious mental health problems: “anxiety,” “depression”; “self-harm” (as Shrier notes, “lots of self-harm”) including “Scratching, cutting, anorexia,” “Trichotillomania” (pulling your hair out by the roots); and more. As Shrier writes, “Dissociative identity disorder, gender dysphoria, autism spectrum disorder, and Tourette’s belong on her list of once-rare disorders that are, among this rising generation, suddenly not so rare at all.”

But the dangers can also ripple out beyond just one generation. The full danger may be nothing less than an imperiling of our democracy.

As Shrier notes, many kids in school are almost constantly monitored. Her own kids have “recess monitors” at their school–“teachers who involve themselves in every disagreement at playtime and warn kids whenever the monkey bars might be slick with rain.” On the bus home, they have “bus monitors.” Better that kids know they’re being observed by an adult at all times than that one kid push another to give him his lunch money.

One of the most pervasive forms of monitoring is what are called “shadows”—ed techs or paraeducators whose job is to cling closely to one particular student so that they don’t have any issues. The original intention certainly made sense. If a child had autism, a shadow could help the kid to integrate into the main classroom rather than being sent to Special Ed. But, as Shrier notes, scope creep has been substantial. “Today,” she writes, “public schools assign shadows to follow kids with problems ranging from mild learning disabilities to violent tendencies.” Nor is the problem restricted to public schools: “private schools advise affluent parents to hire shadows to trail neurotypical kids for almost any reason.” Shadows monitor and guide almost every interaction with their chosen student, from when to raise her hand to how long to hug a fellow student.

As Peter Gray, professor of psychology at Boston College and an expert on child development, puts it, “Kids today are always under the situation of an observer. At home, the parents are watching them. At school, they’re being observed by teachers. Out of school, they’re in adult-directed activities. They have almost no privacy.”

But when kids spend their entire waking lives being monitored by an adult, they start to think that kind of monitoring is normal. Worse, they start to think that they need it. If a child gets constant guidance from an adult, what are the odds that she’s going to cultivate her own independence? If she expects authoritarian adults to monitor and run every aspect of her life already, what is she going to think of a liberal democracy that more-or-less leaves people free to handle their own affairs?

No wonder just 27 percent of Americans age 18-25 strongly agree with the statement that “Democracy may have problems, but it is the best system of government” (compared to 48 percent of Americans as a whole).

So what’s the solution? If our kids are upside down and getting lower to the ground, then the only thing that makes sense is to help them reverse course. Is there something that’s the opposite of always asking them about their feelings, telling them that life is too much for them or their peers to cope with, and constantly telling them that they’re too fragile to do their homework if they’re having a rough day? Yes. That something is called antifragility.

Antifragility is the idea that whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. As social psychologist Jonathan Haidt and president of the Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression Greg Lukianoff note in The Coddling of the American Mind, kids are naturally antifragile. That doesn’t just mean that they’re tough. It means that “they require stressors and challenges in order to learn, adapt, and grow.” Not letting a kid hand in homework late doesn’t just teach them to do their homework on time; it also teaches them that they can deal with a 0 in class and not die. They can pick themselves up, brush themselves off, and even earn an A in the class overall if they bust a sweat for the rest of the semester. Telling a kid who’s having a “tough mental health day” that you’re sorry to hear it but they still need to take today’s test doesn’t just teach the kid that low-level excuses don’t fly; it also teaches them that a hard day isn’t enough to stop them. It teaches them that they’re stronger than whatever negative emotions they’re currently experiencing.

It’s time to remind kids that they are strong–before it’s too late.

All quotes not otherwise attributed come from Abigail Shrier’s book Bad Therapy.

About the Authors

Julian Adorney is a Contributing Writer to FAIR’s Substack and the founder of Heal the West, a Substack movement dedicated to preserving and protecting Western civilization. You can find him on X at @Julian_Liberty.

Mark Johnson is a trusted advisor and executive coach at Pioneer Performance Partners and a facilitator and coach at The Undaunted Man. He has more than 25 years of experience optimizing people and companies. He blogs at The Undaunted Man’s Substack.

Geoff Laughton is a Relationship Architect/Coach, multiple-International Best-Selling Author, Speaker, and Workshop Leader. He is the founder of The Undaunted Man. He has spent the last twenty-six years coaching people world-wide, with a particular passion for supporting those in relationship, and helping men from all walks of life step up to their true potential.

#Julian Adorney #Mark Johnson #Geoff Laughton #Abigail Shrier #Bad Therapy #human psychology #psychology #emotions #emotional distress #feelings #antifragility #coddling #emotional fragility #religion is a mental illness

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authoralexharvey · 8 months ago

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INTERVIEW WITH A WRITEBLR — @vsnotresponding

Who You Are:

V || They/she

Born and raised in a town in Catalonia, Spain. I always had an interest for stories and storytelling, and art in general, as well as math. I wrote my first book at 17 as my project to graduate high school. I'm currently majoring in math, translating said book, and plotting another one.

What You Write:

What genres do you write in? What age ranges do you write for?

Fantasy, Paranormal, Sci-Fi, Tragedy. Young and New Adult

What genre would you write in for the rest of your life, if you could? What about that genre appeals to you?

fantasy, mainly because i love worldbuilding and i often focus on religions or magic systems

What genre/s will you not write unless you HAVE to? What about that genre turns you off?

i don't think i could ever write a purely romance book. my aroaceness makes it very hard for me to write romance in general.

Who is your target audience? Do you think anyone outside of that would get anything out of your works?

i'm not really sure. i write mostly for me. probably just soft fantasy readers? i think people that enjoy worldbuilding and lore might enjoy my stories too. i think anyone could get something out of my books. the setting is just an excuse to write about other things at the end of the day

What kind of themes do you tend to focus on? What kinds of tropes? What about them appeals to you?

grief and circular time appeal the most to me, also main characters struggling with mental health, feeling displaced and out of place. as for tropes, found family and people who dislike each other forced to work together. i don't know why grief comes up that much in my stories. i am obsessed with thinking about circular time, tho. and the mental health issues of my main characters is mostly projecting. as for the tropes, it's all about finding your people whom you feel like yourself with.

What themes or tropes can you not stand? What about them turn you off?

i can deal with pretty much any trope as long as it's entertaining. certain styles of writing is what ultimately turn me off when reading.

What are you currently working on? How long have you been working on it?

i'm currently translating and posting púlsar, i book i wrote when i was 17. i've been translating for three months, and posting for one. i'm also working on untitled project (that's the actual name for the wip), figuring out plot details and that kinda things. i've been doing that since 2019, when UP was born

Why do you write? What keeps you writing?

i write because i am my own target audience, and because i want to tell my ocs' stories. that's what keeps me going too. i can't just be rid of them, they live rent free in my brain

How long have you been writing? What do you think first drew you to it?

since forever, i guess. i remember writing stories as a kid. i was also an avid reader, and a lonely only child that was left alone to their own devices too often, so i found ways to entertain myself

Where do you get your inspiration from? Is that how you got your inspiration for your current project? If not, where did the inspiration come from?

from my daily life, i guess. púlsar doesn't have that many sources of inspiration that i'm aware of, but UP has lots of influences from my philosophy classes from back in high school. in general, music helps a lot with how i approach my writing.

What work of yours are you most proud of? Why?

some short stories i wrote in high school. they are all writing assignments, but i went so hard on them they are still one of the bests things i've ever written. also my answer to a question in my philosophy final, which i later turned into a short story. circular time, man, i told you

Have you published anything? Do you want to?

i haven't, but i'd like to. i just want to share my worlds and characters with other people

What part of the publishing process most appeals to you? What part least appeals to you?

the sharing, but i also think it's very stressful

What part of the writing process most appeals to you? What part is least appealing?

putting it all together. i love finding out how i've unintentionally set up scenes i hadn't even thought about, or how unimportant details turn vital when i add a new scene

Do you have a writing process? Do you have an ideal setup? Do you write in pure chaos? Talk about your process a bit.

oh boy. my writing process is a mess. it's mostly non linear, and i sit with my stories for a long long time before ever starting to write. i also pull from my drawings. sometimes i'll randomly draw one oc doing something completely arbitrary, and then see that it actually fits with the plot so why not add it. generally, i have a very rough direction of where i want to go, 2 or 3 key scenes i know for sure have to happen, then i put the characters in A Situation and let them take the reins from there. because i've sit with them for so long before actually writing, i'm confident enough in my knowledge of them so i never doubt where they are going, they just go. usually i plan ahead for two or three chapters, mostly a bullet point summary or an explanation of events for UP it's been way more complicated because of the nature of the story and its non linearity

Your Thoughts on Writeblr:

How long have you been a writeblr? What inspired you to join the community?

i joined four months ago. i just wanted to share my work with other like minded people, and i'm honestly glad i did. i've met so many wonderful people in such a short amount of time, and the community is wonderful

Shout out some of your favorite writeblrs. How did you find them and what made you want to follow them?

i recently started following @mjjune. i simply fell in love with their now betaing twtr and their general vibes @moondust-bard has also created a bunch of writblr initiatives like a tag game list, and other ongoing projects and i have to mention @my-cursed-prince. she asked me a lot of questions about circular time, and then i checked out her wips and adopted her ocs on the spot

What is your favorite part about writeblr?

tag/asks games, and in general the community. i like sharing, sure, but it's also nice to be able to talk about worlbuilding and lore and how annoying ocs sometimes are with people that get it

What do you think writeblr could improve on? How do you think we can go about doing so?

huh, i'm not sure. more interaction with actual written stuff would be great, but everyone's busy with their lives outside of here so we can't ask of everyone to read everything that comes across their dashboards every day. it'd be great to have an easy to access place to check old and new writing without having to go to an individual blog every time, but that's also a time consuming project to manage

How do you contribute to the writeblr community? Do you think you could be doing more?

if i see someone asking for asks i always send one. i also try to be encouraging of others as much as i can. i do think i could be doing much more. for starters, i'd like to engage more with written content from other writblrs more, but i can't due to time constraints

What kinds of posts do you most like to interact with?

anything that strikes my fancy. i enjoy posts about the writing process struggles people have, or little thoughts they have as they write or plot

What kind of posts do you most like to make?

i love rambling when someone asks me a question. and also posting púlsar

Finally, anywhere else online we may be able to find you?

i have a half abandoned instagram art account with the same handle (vsnotresponding), and my main tumblr blog @iwrotemyowndeliverancesblog (i talk about maths and complain about life)

#iwaw #writeblr event #writeblr celebration #writeblr #writing community

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foxes-that-run · 1 year ago

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Boyfriends

A self aware take on Boyfriends, including Harry and boyfriends of those he cares for. The lyric video features a lone swan, a symbol of commitment. Harry was with a swan in every image for his May 20 2019 Gucci Campaign, released the week Boyfriends was first written. Harry and Taylor were pictured with a Swan on her birthday when they went to The Lakes. Harry who has spoken about the song with pride and deference. Let's start with the gorgeous first take:

youtube

Harry said to Zane Lowe it was written at the end of Fine Line:

"There was an extra week where we wrote some stuff, wrote Adore you, TPWK and we were recording Lights Up. [...] At the end of that session everyone left and I started writing Boyfriends and it almost felt like OK there is a version where we get this ready to put on this album, and I think there was something about it where it felt like it's going to have it's time. [...] I am learning so much by saying it [...] It is both acknowledging my own behaviour, looking at behaviour I have witnessed and looking at I grew up with a sister, so it's like watching her date people and watching friends date people and you know people don't treat each other nicely sometimes. And it turned out about boyfriends because I started paying it and saying boyfriends. [...]Just say what you think of boyfriends.

Harry was in the studio from 15 May 2019, the Swan Gucci Campaign was released on he and Taylors anniversary that week. It was also 2 weeks after Me! Was released. When speaking about Boyfriends Harry constantly mentions these other songs. They have a common theme about the impact of the behaviour of others on his relationships and self, true his nature it is subtle and gentle:

Adore you's video asks fans to respect the partner(s) of his choosing, in contrast to fan reaction who he dates.

TPWK, as the title says, Harry told Rolling Stone " It made me uncomfortable at first, [...] I feel like that song opened something that’s been in my core.”

Lights Up - to Rolling Stone Harry spoke about stepping out from 1D on his own, the lyrics of "I'm not ever going back" and "All the lights couldn't put out the dark running through my heart", link the experience of the band and fandom to mental health and knowing who he is, rather than who others want him to be.

To me, coming at the end of that session adds to Harry taking ownership his role in failed relationships in that time by being unaware of the impact his 1D persona. fan treatment of his partner(s) and emotional unavailability. Taylor has also described her anxiety dating him in Slut! and Gold Rush. However, as Harry said, it is not limited to himself. On its release at Coachella, (3 years after it was written) "To Boyfriends Everywhere, F*** you". This was weeks after Taylor wrote You're Losing Me about Joe. His face to the end of this is everything:

youtube

Setlist and Tracklisting

Harry placed Boyfriends on HH between Satellite and LOML. Harry stopped playing Boyfriends after November 15 2022, when he played it live with Ben Harper at the end of the L.A. Forum residency. It was only played once in 2023, at Wembley June 16. The next night was the only time he played Sweet Creature since 2018. When it was on the setlist it proceeded LOML or Lights Up.

Ben Harper

To Variety Ben Harper said: "It was a wonderful recording session — one of the most memorable and most musical I’ve ever been a part of. [...] Harry invited me to stick around because he wanted to finish the song right then and there. To get to watch Harry in his process was eye-opening, and I learned a lot. [...] Yeah, I mean, he orchestrated the vocal harmonies like a classical composer, spot on, note for note. He just stacked them perfectly in pitch, one better than the next, and it was really eye-opening to see somebody step on the mic and have the parts orchestrated in his head. I’ve never seen anything like it actually."

Lyrics

Hoo Niaga ti ta kcab er'uoy, loof Boyfriends They think you're so easy They take you for granted They don't know they're just misunderstanding you You, you're back at it again

The opening is Backwards 'Ooh Fool, you’re back at it again'. Sunflower Vol 6 also opens with 'Sunflower' backwards. I think of this as about a backwards life, success followed by a normal life.

The first verse describes how boyfriends take their partner for granted and misunderstand.

Weakened When you get deep in He starts secretly drinking It gets hard to know what he's thinking You love a fool who knows just how to get under your skin You, you, you still open the door

The second verse describes where partner has met their guard down some boyfriends withdraw, and start drinking. Harry has sung of this before in Half the world away “I’ve started drinking”. Harry has mentioned drinking in other songs, but HTWA has a similar meaning, of drinking in secret to cope.

Harry touches on common themes in his discography:

Not communicating, similar to MMIH “we don’t talk about it”

Not getting over this person - Getting under you skin is a reference to Taylor’s The Lakes: “What should be over burrowed under my skin in heart-stopping waves of hurt” and IWYW “You always knew how to push my buttons”

Doors - here Harry's muse is opening the door, Harry has 7 songs that refer to knocking, opening or not opening doors. Taylor also has 13 songs about Harry and doors.

You're no closer to him Now you're halfway home Only calling you when Don't wanna be alone Oh, and you go Why? You don't know

While the first 2 verses the Boyfriend was uncommunicative, emotionally unavailable and didn't consider their partner. In the third verse the boyfriend and partner are learning from failed relationships, but still no closer. Now the boyfriend is only calling when they want company, rather than to be there for their partner.

Halfway home: The X Account 'I am Halfway Home' was started to promote HH. The term could have several meanings:

a Halfway house is a place to reintegrate into society from an institution.

The song is a play on words of having no more emotional closeness despite being physically halfway home, and

Halfway home is the name of a documentary about the toll war takes on veterans and their families.

Home is an important theme to Harry's work, Home meaning being with the right person rather than a physical place. To me, this lyric is Harry is saying that despite his growth since leaving the band and break down of this relationship they are still not emotionally closer.

Boyfriends Are they just pretending? They don't tell you where it's heading And you know the game's never ending You, you lay with him as you stay in the daydream You feel a fool You're back at it again

The closing of the song is a sense that the boyfriend is being a player, not communicating.

But Harry's muse gives in, wanting to stay in a dream. Slut! has a similar idea of choosing to stay in a love haze when you know it's not going to last "Got lovestruck, went straight to my head / Got lovesick, all over my bed / Love to think you'll never forget / Handprints in wet cement". Harry also says this in Daydreaming: "Livin' in a daydream"

Harry and Taylor have both used 'fool' in reference to their relationship before (in Fools Gold, Cardigan, Illicit Affairs, Joker and the Queen and in Long Pond Taylor said it 7 times about James in Betty.)

Finally, it refers to the cyclical nature of their relationship with 'back at it again' as OOTW 'built to fall apart and back together' and Style "when we go crashing down we come back every time' and many other songs.

#Youtube #harry styles #boyfriends #haylor #harry’s house #song analysis #Lyric analysis

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