#mental dissorder.

[scarefox]

That one time I was in therapy for depression and social anxiety and had an appointment in a psychiatry (ambulant), and the always kinda rough / unfriendly receptionist was like "Your doctor seems to have forgotten what time it is. He is currently chatting with another doctor in room xy, you can go there and get him. Just knock on the door and tell him." And then was so annoyed and disappointed in me that I could not do that back then. You want me social anxiety person to go in a random room, disrupting some doctor talk of two people I never met in my life (cause they once again changed my doc), and then make me feel ashamed for not being able to do that because of my anxiety disorder hindering me

One of the many bad experiences I had in that psychiatry and I just went there every few months for an update talk and meds.

[felixxthefrog]

sometimes, im not sure if healing is the right word.

when im talking to my friends or myself, i refer to what im doing as "healing from my religious trauma". i sometimes like to think of it as tending to my wounds, wounds inflicted upon me by my church, by myself, by my family. washing them, patting them dry, applying a salve to them every day. slow and painful, but eventually they'll close and fade to a scar. and maybe one day, those scars will fade to nothingness.

as i go on, however, i find myself doubting that imagery. i am starting to feel that that in itself is rooted in my upbringing under christianity. the idea that eventually you will be healed, better, pure, saved, by god, by father, by creator, by the ultimate love and power. is it that simple? that clean? that kind?

am i healing? i dont feel like im healing. i dont feel like i'll ever heal. i feel like im tearing barbed arrows from my skin. when i find another, i poke around, see if there's any other way i can do this. i search, desperate, hoping it wont be painful this time. but it always is. it always has to be, doesnt it? that's the point of religion. to make sure that leaving it is more painful than staying in it.

when i come to terms with the fact that i will have to pull the arrows out, i cant help but maybe mourn a little bit. sometimes i think my skin is a tree, because i look at the arrow that's been there a decade or more, and my skin has stared to grow around it. the arrow looks half engulfed, not just embedded, but it seems to be becoming a part of my body.

i cant help but fear pulling it out. searing pain, tearing skin, muscles ripped, tendons snapping, fiery poison pulsing through veins. i'll grind my teeth to dust and twist my face in a knot and hold my breath to stop from screaming. through it all, i still must stop myself from begging for attention. ripping it out sounds appealing, but i know i cant. i shouldnt.

i must be gentle - in the past, i have gone to pull an arrow from my skin and i have broken the shaft. the wood splintered in my hands and i threw it to the ground, trying to move on to another arrow because i cant be bothered with nonsense like this, splintered arrows and flint heads still stuck under my skin.

later when i went back to the arrow with the shattered shaft, i saw that it had dug in deeper. around the wound were two dozen splinters and matching open wounds, red and inflamed, tender and painful, infected, growing. worsening. the original arrowhead had been engulfed by my skin and now i must cut my skin open and peel it back, poking and prodding with forceps to try and free it from its new home within my body. as i gaze at my skin, i am reminded of my anatomy class. the rat i pinned to the mat and flayed, inspecting every part of it to learn how it functioned. at least i am experienced.

the wound is still infected. i have removed the arrow head, but those splinters, theyre slippery. i look around and see half a dozen more broken, splintered arrows; a dozen more arrows untouched; a hundred tiny splinters scattered around my body, embedded in my skin. they are numerous and countless and neverending.

i am out of the warzone now, i am no longer getting bombarded with arrows, i am no longer actively dying, i am no longer beaten and bruised and damn-near lifeless on the battlefield in the hold righteous name of the almighty, i am no longer a sacrifice, but i AM sacrificed. i was. i always was. i was a lamb raised to be blemishless, taking pride in the neatness in my coat, ignoring the blood that had stained it from birth and that would stain my own hands at death.

i was never blameless. i was never blemishless. i was raised for a merciful slaughter and instead became a soldier, unwilling, unknowing, thinking this was what sheep were made for. his staff around my neck did not keep me back from the cliff, it bruised and strangled me so i could not jump over the fence. it seemed so peaceful there. the war was not raging on the other side.

but the war followed me. the wounds never left. it's not healing, is it? not really. even if my wounds heal, i will forver be deformed and broken, debilitated, unworthy. what is worthy? was i worthy of war? am i worthy of peace? healing? how will i ever get these arrows out? the splinters? will the scars ever fade?

[intrepid-lens]

It's been a while

Hey y'all, it's literally been years

I got diagnosed with chronic migraines, *autism, fibromyalgia, anxiety disorder, and got some surgeries done for other medical issues, broke up with friends, moved a few times, changed many jobs, and now I'm slowly getting my life back

I'd been in a fucked up environment for too long and although I'm not out of the woods just yet I'm finally moving past the shame, judgement, gaslighting, codependancy, trauma and threats. I'm learning to gain myself back!! I lost myself to someone who, despite good intentions, caused so much irreversible damage to me. This person has moved on and improved her life while I am picking up the pieces. I don't know how to trust others anymore. I don't know what honesty looks like, or truth. I gave everything of myself to this person and my love, my kindness, my honesty, it was soiled. My once open-self has been ruined by her displaced trauma.

I've become the person I hated most of all and I am learning how to love myself again.

I think what they don't tell you is even if you've already worked through the cringe, ableism, self-hate, ect, if you enter into an abusive environment, especially for years, there is hell of a lot of damage to the internal workings of oneself esteem. Humans are sponges and when it rains it pours. 

I am in pain, I am scared, and I don’t recognize myself. I'm stuck with responsibility to not displace my trauma onto others. I have to accept it in order to move on which is the hardest part. I turned into a person I don't recognize, done things that make me a villian.

No one in my friend group cares to know me. I’m damaged goods and I don’t want to do what she did to me and displace years and years of trauma onto another in order to grow. It fucking sucks. I carry her damage with me even if she’s changed. I am a reminder of her fucked up past and she is unwilling to look at my pain because it reminds her of the monster she once was.

I look at her as a monster because she was one to me and healing from that is gonna take twice the time it did for the shit I've gone through.

I have just a smidge of space to begin unboxing all this so here I am.

When I say this to her, her damage is downplayed. No matter how much I try our conversations lead to my mistakes, not hers. I have learned will always have something to apologize for and frankly, I have also learned I am safest when I give her the least to work with. 

When I told my roommate about this they didn’t give a damn. Said they ‘deeply care’. Well if they did they would have given me the time of day. Time to hear me out. I deserve to be heard!

I never once told anyone anything about her or our past and the first time I did, the one time I did, when I trusted another human with my pain my scars my heart, she turned around and told my abuser everything I said. I got called out for talking shit by the person who talked shit for years. It’s unfair and it fucking sucks. I was the one in her life who held her accountable and the one time I screwed up she tells everyone in my circle, now I’m the shit talker.

After years of my abuser telling everyone’s secrets to me I am the monster in everyone's story and it's a heavy feeling. I used to not care wether I was the monster in people's story. When did it change? Like I said above, people are sponges and I drew in a lot of toxins.

I deserve critique for the fucked up shit I did too. I'm also at fault. My fears and anxieties created a chain reaction. She would spount f'up shit and I would spiral and the fire would further. She got a husband and a house to build her a safe space. I get an appartment with a roommate who disrespects me and invites my abuser in at least once a week.

I am working with what I got. Which isn't much tbh. I go to work and her brother is there, her husband, and the ass-whole who tole my abuser everything. I cannot seem to find a safe place to fall. So it's been a while.

For the first time since knowing her I am choosing me. I’d rather be alone than to continue to let abuse hold me down. So I am alone these days.

I think...I think I got sexually assaulted the other night and I have no one to talk to about it.

So yeah, it’s been a while. I hope that maybe looking back on this post I can see the things that have improved in my life. I am not completely without and I will always remember the good things that did happen even in the abuse -a struggle all in itself. All I wanted was friendship, a partner in crime, someone who would go on adventures with me in this fucked up world.

I am learning to love myself again. I am learning to forgive myself for the person I turned into. 

So I'll continue to count the little things I have. My sisters, a library book, a rainy day, some stupid kpop mv's, and I'll keep on going.

*in the process of getting an Autism diagnosis

[annabelle-creart]

Writer: I should traumatize Boulder more-

All: NO!!!

Writer: WHAT THE- WHY NOT????

Researcher: You already compared them with traumatized people!! Aaravos, Aaargh and Rozz are NOT enough mental stable for that kind of comparassions and yet YOU DID IT

Drawer: YOU LITERALLY MADE ME DRAW THEM STABBED BECAUSE IT WAS ONE OF THEIR FIRST DATES WITH HEATWAVE!!!

Reader: I CAN'T STAND BOULDER BEING TREATED LIKE SHIT AGAIN, PLEASE WRITER, REMEMBER WE ARE THE SAME MIND, I CAN'T SEE BOULDER BEING USED IN THAT WAY EACH SLEEPLESS NIGHT!!!

Writer: By God's sake, is not that bad!

Wrath: ...

Wrath: *puts a big paper on the table* take a look at this shit and dare to say that again

Writer: Oh! C'mon! *takes the paper and reads it* It can be that bad-!

Boulder from From Stars and Above still blames themself for not protecting their home and letting it die

From Adventure Bots was denied to do magic, learned dark magic and that kills them but can't stop because is the only type of magic they can do naturally and by default

From Outlier!Au lived the life of a normal citizen but missing their sibling becase of job, not feeling enough for their team or for anyone else and is still in bad terms with their mom after their dad died (just a way of say it) same with sister

From Hunters of the Cosmos had to see how their descendence was took away and thought were lost or dead for lot of time just after seeing how all their planet died with no remedy

From Shattered Glass is a traumatized, abused and condemed dinobot just because by being "too soft" and a traitor and has trust issues and serious behavior dissorder

From Humanformers: Kingdom of Light was exiled after their partner died and was alone for long time with just a kid and had to fight way too much to have a proper life only for later being judged all they, their kid and their hafling with the king by the human court

From Humanformers: A Truth and a Tune not just was avandoned by the government they worked for but also was punished for trying to change that and almost died for a life they never asked but still went because they NEEDED to feel helpful

From 13 Primes Au is the literal partner of a Prime and has several issues with that because they're a devoted follower of that Prime and feels guilty for not giving Heatwave the confidence to tell that secret AND conflicted for putting their hopes on someone that can't and WILL NOT do anything to reply their prayers

From Rescue Prime became A FUCKING DICTAROR AND LATER DIED IN HEATWAVE'S ARMS BECAUSE OF MEGATRON

Wrath: Is that enough evidence it is enough??

Writer: ...this is not that bad, actually

Reader: WHAT?!

Researcher: you're a fucking psycopath

Drawer: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT???

Wrath: I will FUCKING destroy you

---

Yeah... I have some problems but HEY! AT THE END OF THE DAY IT MAKES BOULDER MORE INTERESTING! RIGHT?

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.

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Right?

[kyo-isuppose]

Bored and can’t write fanfic? Take my ideas. (JUST CREDIT MEEEEE)

Kny human au pt. 1, the Kamaboko Squad.

•Nezuko: high support needs autistic, very clever, people underestimate her intuition, strenghtg, and capability. wears a (specifically green) mask for sensory reasons. She has lots of emitions, but can’t express them well. Gets angry, sad, exited, and overwhelmed easily.

•Tanjiro: Nezuko’s caretaker after their family fell ill to a rare deseise known as “the demon desiese” and couldn’t pay for hospital expences. He is working with several doctors to find a cure after Nezuko was diagnosed with the diseise. He is training to get into Koanain daigaku (the Core Nine University, a top-rate medical school).

•Inosuke: while he was unable to get a proper education due to the toxicity of foster care, he decided to team up with Tanjiro cause he was cool, and showed him human decency. (His mother was killed during precedure after falling ill while being illegally treated, though he was too young to remember)

•Zenitsu: he lived with his grandpa, a doctor, who taught him and another student. He was ridiculed for being stupid, whiney, jumpy and uncapable. People ofted told him he was too scatered to become a doctor. He joined Tanjiro because he wanted to help his late grandfather to rest in peace, for his own closure, and because Nezuko was just too cute to say no to.

•Kanao: She grew up in the slums, and was trafficked/fostered until Kanae and Shinobu fostered-and later adopted-her. Kanae, a surgeon (more on her later), had her-Kanao- watch her work and study. She was intrigued by the life of a sergeon. After meeting Inosuke, and after her sister/mother figure, Kanae, died, she swore to be a fair, just sergeon and to help Tanjiro on his journey to cure the “demon desiese”. She had studied by watching her sisters (mostly Kanae’s) work, and essays.

•Genya: Simmilar to Tanjiro, his family was taken by desiese. Sanemi had set out to become a doctor, not wanting his brother to be exposed to the highly contagious virus. Genta, ignoring his brother, studied to become a nurse; as he was unable to be a surgeon/fully titled doctor due to his essential tremor dissorder. He was exposed to daemonium nibh (scientific name, not a real virus), “the demon desiese“, and became immune, making him a highly valued asset. He helps Tanjiro due to his own ambitions, and the overwhelming senserity, and common want to rid the world of daemonium nibh.

Aoi: a nurse working as an intern at Koanain Daigaku. She was set to be a doctor, but gave up due to mental health, and self image issues. She wants to help Tanjiro as much as she can because she finds him warm and sunny, She doesn’t want him to give up. Despite him being older than her, she thinks of him as young and cute, but very responsible.

[mimic1lover]

Is the new oc's color pallate based on the DID flag? :0

YESSS it is!!

I simply wanted an oc who has it,,cause well I have it. Why not give my OCs my mental dissorders. Also, who not to pick than the type of machines who use other machines to make their bodies! Swordsmachines lol

I have a lot of ideas for them. I wanna be creative with it, yknow. Buuut if you look at the letters, it's like first letters on 'alter roles/titles' things like Host or Little...

[sporksaber]

Some things about the pines family and the book of bill:

I think its really interesting that the twin's image of who theyre most like and the grunkle's image are swapped. Dipper and mabel seem to see dipper as more like ford and mabel as mkre like stan. But judging by Ford's first reaction to her she seems to remind him more of himself while he compares dipper to stan, and stan often says throughout the series that he sees himself in dipper. I think itd be interesting headcanon wise to lean into that with the more subtle or personal characteristics shared between them.

Ford and the headcanons around him are really suffering from "this mental illness=terrible person" ideology (talking about how certain personalty disorders are taken and used as a reason to hate someone and how harmful that is is a whole thing). Some people are headcanoning him as having narcisistic personality dissorder, resulting in people attacking them for calling ford a terrible person. Which is so incredibly stupid.

I think the way he is could be attributed to spending 20+ years in an alternate demesion trying not to die and not interacting with other humans. But him having bpd could line up with other head canons people have for pre-portal-incident ford, and we dont see much of him. Im neutral on it for the most part. Because, obviously, him having npd diesnt make him a bad person/character, it just gives new reasons for the things he does and his motivations.

Thats all for now.

[traveller-of-the-knight]

This is going to be very personal so uh... Yeah...

Tw: Comparing the discomfort of the character Marc Spector visiting a psychiatrist and explaining DID symptoms then getting a diagnosis, with my discomfort explaining my psychotic symptoms to a doctor and getting a diagnosis as a person who is only diagnosed with psychosis and isn't a system, also angst about my diagnosis

Some days ago I was (finally) diagnosed with ✨psychosis✨. I mean... I knew I probably had that for years but talking infront of a doctor about it feels... Surreal to say the least. Like "Woah! I'm actually very fucked up huh? Huh..."

I realized at the doctor that I made the same expression as he did! For me now this expression sums up all pain and discomfort that comes with explaining very stigmatized mental health symptoms. Like I'm the odd one out, saying out loud all the weird things I expirence realising How different my life has been from "the norm"

This part is about my personal experience with psychosis and describes it in an angsty rushed way (those are not the symptoms or the experience of a system)

My psychosis made me spent my whole life experiencing things that don't exist and besicaly I was living in what I can describe as a different reality from everybody elses, a very, very scary one. (In the unedited post my internalised mental ableism and fear of my dissorder did the talking here, I decided not to keep this part because it can be triggering and share inaccuracies)

BREAK FROM MY SADNESS MY CAT WALKED ON MY PC AND OUT OF NOWHERE MAS ALLA DEL SOL STARTED PLAYING I CAN'T 😭😭😭

Ah... Life is a joke

Remembering this panel during my appointment, I felt like I wasn't alone -even thought this is a work of fiction, and not my dissorder, not my symptoms- I... I felt like there was a way to describe it? It's how I imagined young Marc felt on this page, or at least close to.

My fear skyrocketed when my doctor told me "Call me if you think you are a danger to your self or others" (people with psychotic symptoms are more likely to be the abused one than the abuser, we are not dangerous and systems aren't either). My heart sinked "or others" realising this could be a possibility, realising I reached a point in my life where a doctor told me this. Damn... Also I have harm OCD that's taking over my life so... Not good "or others"

It's a shame we don't have many media about people with those stigmatized, "scary" mental illnesses just living their lives and not idk being a cheap thriller plot *angst sounds*.

Reading about characters that have that in common with my make me feel like I am not alone. And yes I am projecting on them as a way to cope with my illness and find comfort, but I realized this can spread misinformation and that wasn't my intention, so I edited this post)

I'm not thinking very clearly writing this, so if I said anything offensive to anyone please I didn't do it on purpose and I don't have the brain power to express all my thoughts correctly in a foreign language and I am mostly writing this for my self.

So yeah... That has being my life for the past week. Also I have to read for finals hehehe 🥲

My doctor recommended me to take a look into the hearingvoices mental health organisation and I'm putting it up here in case it helps anyone else. I think it's international because I have it in my country too.

Anyone else with ocd and psychosis?

[lesslie-sass]

Here's my advice

Stop being sexist against your own sex, and go get some therapy for several things

No rational human being wants you dead

But you do really like to be terrible and make yourself the victim

But I don't condone people telling you to off yourself

Grow a spine and realize when you're insulting people like me that have to deal with mental dissorders too. You're not the only one

Or perhaps simply move communities so you don't have to deal with people that have proper media literacy and a want to respect people with mental disorders. Either works

Again, obviously no rational human being wants you to die and no one should ever tell you to. But we don't want to deal with your shit if you're being sexist and ableist. Stop being an absolute hypocrite

Jeez, put your hate boner away, I can feel it from another continent

First of all, just because I don't wanna excuse female character's terrible behavior doesn't suddenly make me a "women hater" like you want to see me as, I don't care what gender Uzi is and still would've thought she's annoying brat. For the "ableistic" shit, as again, mental problems doesn't excuse terrible behavior, acting out only makes situation worse and people around either annoyed or creeped out (like Uzi's classmates but I guess their feelings don't matter near your gothic waifu) and for your "she's heavily implied to have BPD, PTSD, autism, etc." I have one small question - did Liam or Glitch officially state that Uzi has any of those? No? Then shut up about your headcannons, or rather delusions and projections, that has no ground to be used as argument.

Playing the victim, huh? Oh sorry, how dare I be openly upset about getting dogpiled and hated for my opinion that others, you as well, could've easily ignore. That people got butthurt I wasn't backing down and destroyed my reputation in return, blocking me, spreading how terrible I am, how wrong and toxic I am, encouraged others to do the same. You didn't need to do this, but you did and encouraged it anyway, not carring that I have problems, that I may not be doing great irl, that I actually might've had something to do with myself, only because you couldn't just move on. Just because fictional character and ship getting shitted on was more important in your eyes, compared to me who didn't harrass or insult anyone directly, you have fucked up priorities.

I had every right to get you all to fuck off, when you didn't wanna listen to any of my points AND ignored Lizard literally wishing me to die, or even someone close to me to die. You just want to have some kind of "enemy" of the fandom, target those who's vocal about their negative opinion about MD and make fandom bring them down and tier them apart, to feel better that you "defeated" them and saved the fandom from such "toxic" individual.

And who the hell are you to tell me or anyone else if they should leave the fandom? That "you" don’t wanna deal with my shit, when it's not even directed at anyone directly? Or is it more like "we accept you the way you are, cringe and free! ...until you have different opinion than we do"? Like the same thing with VanityMoth, with people like you invalidating his opinion that happened to be the one you don't agree with and making him this big asshole who's terrible and should just shut up for good. (I use him as example for how this isn't one time accident with me, I may not agree with every point he makes or his behavior, which might as well got worse because of huge hate he got, I speak here only for myself and how this kind of situation was towards me) It's not that people think you can't handle criticism, it's that you clearly show you can't.

AND...

Why I should ask anything from this person, who was all to happy to add fuel to the situation and clearly doesn't like me either? Heck no, they're in my block where they belong.

And therapy is expensive btw and with your creepy ass obsession towards me you need it more, perhaps in good place like Mount Massive Asylum OR perhaps listen to your own advice and leave me alone

[rightous-int]

Is that just me or this years artfight is just about kinks?

CAUSE IF YOU THINK SO THE ANSWEAR IS YES. AND NO. NOW SIT DOWN IMMA TALK.

As we all know vampires are about accepting your repressed, inner sexual desires.

We've seen interview with a vampire both movie and series and pleaseeee watch the movie cause its superb books are amazing as well but watching Brat Pitt have gay panic under the teeth of Tom Cruise is a holly experience

We have seen also what we do in the shadows we've seen shit ton of vampire aus so i dont have to touch that subject....

.....

Oooor i can-

Anyway so vampires as a creatures from rural myths and legends

were always seen as undead for this world monsters who under the moon light were catching Young women, man and children, turning them into one of them and passing this curse on or straight up eating them up and out.

Ring some bells balls?

With that being said we can easly see why queer community in the second half of XX century adopted their asthetic. And after a few decades vampires became sexual icons in modern popculture what we can observe in Twilight saga, Dracula or in MORBIN TIME

So vampires have to always answer one question if they accept their true nature and live against humans or they try to fit in risking their true identity being found. With the gift of immortality they often also have to face loss of their loved ones.

You Can feel why we can find in them queer closure

Alright BUT WHAT ABOUT THE FURRIES i mean ukhem WAREWOLFS

//making that joke in the name of the furries as a closeted furry imma come out one day

So for me warewolfs are about being mentally ill or neurodivergend

Why?

They are often born this way and having promise of a normal life, they always must be warry of the time when they turn into a monster and their true nature comes out. It cant hurt them but if they are not carefull and not issolate from their loved ones they can hurt them and destroy everything they could accomplished when they were 'okay'.

As a person with borderline personality dissorder and audhd i can see myself in this fear. People with anger issues, depression or other various dissorders can find it relatable.

The question for warewolfs to answer is whether living with humans and 'threatning' their lives is better than issolation from everyone.

But dont worry our warewolfs we have A PACK HERE AND WE WILL BE LIVING TOGETHER IN FORESTS CAWABANGAA

[trashcan-poetry]

My paintings - created in a very tough time for me, I've painted them during hospitalisation due to my mental dissorders

[sk1nny-bl00dnglitt3r]

Still feeling I want to eat less, even not eating until I fit my perfect body.

When feeling hunger, I drink water to fill my stomach.

-I don't want to romanticise ed, just express my feelings- I do support rehab.

[conherofrost]

so uhhh, do you think specific people have some specific mental problem? Like ADHD or PTSD? (well many many people at the Pride Trooper Headquarters think Jiren has something similar to the Post Traumatic Stress Dissorder but tries to hide it. Currently we have a whole donation box to get him therapy and Dyspo has a feeling that Jiren himself empties it just to not go) Do you think Hit has something like that or anyone you know? PS: I have to stay Anonymous because if someone would see me asking this they would tell on me to Toppo or Jiren himself and I do not need extra hours of work (Which actually might not do anything because I'm using the Headquarters WiFi). Ok Bye!

Hmm, I really shouldn't assume things without all my data. This is one of those questions I could technically ask Hit, him being just across the room and all but... let's say I tried, but the second I got his attention, the question promptly vanished. That'd be tricky and maybe even awkward question... and very easily misworded and misconstrued. I don't want to tip him off or something.

But I do suspect there's something... atypical about him (don't tell him I said that), though that may just be me. He's over a thousand, he probably predates most diagnoses- maybe if there is something, he doesn't know there's a name for it now.

He seems to be living with it however he does best, if there is anything.

In terms of myself... I never thought about it before. I'll certainly need time to think on that.

Anyway, I hope your teammate gets to therapy.

[lixzwithapen]

My dear mother (and the friend in question) believes their friends child is a gift from her dead son.

He died right about when she got pregnant.

She's medically not supposed to be able to be pregnant. (Some dissorder/ disease)

So they believe it's a gift from him and he's helping people from beyond the grave.

Is this "normal spirituality" or should I be concerned? I'm low-key thinking that trauma caused her to become psychotic. I can sort of see myself in her...

Tbf if these things are delusions, it's not hurting anyone. I do As I should. I don't try to tell her it's not the case, But I also don't agree. I just kinda go "oh, okay" "yeah" etc.

I know how to deal with delusions.

But I'm kinda worried abt her.

Do I need to be or am I being paranoid abt her mental health? /G

[otosugar]

Some Headcanons I made for my fave Heavens members

Mostly about mental dissorders since I also have them

[twinker-bel]

(i wrote this whole thing on a frantic rage there WILL be typos, suck my dick grammar police) (TLDR at the end for you cowards)

hot take artists are not only allowed but supposed to use language FUCKING FIGURATIVELY AND IN A FLOWERY WAY YOU DIPSHITS

now that being said, i really hate how she is consistenly unbothered by the carbon emissions that her stupid private jets make everytime she travels from one city to another one like idk in the same state or smth. i really also hate that she is not vocal enough about supporting very important fights and that she is basically a white privileged woman. these are all facts and she doesnt do nearly enough with the platform she has.

HOW FUCKING EVER:

it makes no sense to shit on artists based on using terms like "the tortured artist" or saying that they are "tormented" or yadda yadda. like have you read hozier's lyrics? that man is white and cis-het passing (i do not know whether he is on any other part of the gender o sexuality spectrum and he does not owe any of us a comming out if he were to be queer in any way shape or form BUT HE IS VERY MUCH CIS-HET PASSIN AND THAT IS A PRIVILEGE) yet through his art he talks as if he was the most tortured soul to ever be. BECAUSE ITS ART. AND SOMETIMES SOMETIMES (plot twist its most times) ARTISTS USE THIS THING CALLED LYRICAL SPEAKER WHO IS ESSENTIALLY LIKE A CHARACTER THAT IS SINGING THE SONG, IT IS NOT NECESSARILY THE AUTHOR'S ACTUAL REAL LIFE LIVED EXPERIENCES BUT AN INTERPRETATION OF THEM, AN EXPRESSION OF THEM THROUGH ART.

now, taylor swift has crafter a persona which is incredibly marketeable and is what makes her so relevant, that persona is that of a girl/woman who has been consistenly not taken seriously by media, industry and fellow artists, as well as worldwide audiences, a girl/woman who has oerceviered and through resilience and smartness and sheer willpower has survided the constant abuse tha she was put through and stil has remained relatively a kind normal person, she sings about relatable things to a young and adult moslty femenine audience, etc, etc, etc. and guess what? that all really did happen to her. and that to an extent kinda really is her. as white and wealthy as she is, she has endured what any other woman endures all her life, except in the public eye from a young age when all she wanted was to share her music with the world, cuz lets remember she was YOUNG when she started, and from day one she experienced the same things over and over. AND IMPLYING THAT THESE HARDSHIPS ARENT VALID BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE IS SUFFERNING MORE IS LIKE WHEN BOOMERS SAY "oh back when i was a kid i got screamed at and hit and spanked so much and im completely fine so you that have it easier than me bc that doesnt happen as much anymore are not allowed to complain about anything".

lastly, dude, the whole "tortured artist" is a cultural concept at this point, using it is basically a reference to just simply the idea that when artistic expression and (GET THIS) MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES come hand in hand it tends to result in extraordinary art. this of course is not necessarily true and one can be and incredibly great artist while havin stable good mental health. however we do know taylor has gone through eating dissorders for example, which, newsflash is completely related and closely intertwined with mental health, aside from that she has been groomed by older men or at the very least taken advantage of, etc etc etc again. Like, by concept of "tortured artist" any woman could be a great artist.

TLDR: 1) yes taylor swift does little to nothing to support hugely important humanitarian issues compared with how big of a platform she has, 2) LYRICAL SPEAKER AND ALSO ARTISTIC EXPRESSION ARE A THING THO, 3) taylor swift has actually endured hardship and the fact that its not as much as that of people losing their entire homes and families doesnt mean her own isnt valid and lastly, 4) the term "tortured artist" is widely used in the whole art scene, also criticized of course but stil the name of the album is a nod to that popular concept thats all jesus fucking christ chill.

t*ylor sw*ft is calling her new album “poems of a tortured artist” and i’m like oh are you? while there’s a genocide going on? while hospitals are being bombed and people are being killed? are you tortured writing those songs on either of your private jets or one of your eight houses with one of the biggest fanbases in the world who defend you tooth and nail no matter what? are you tortured??????