#men’s butts are structurally so pretty

[lickithrice]

I love boy butt.

[thebestsetter]

Thinking about Otoya Eita regretting his past "affairs" when crushing on a girl (and I mean for real, a real crush)

Picture this: you moved to a new city with your parents because your father got a promotion. Your new house is nice, and so is your neighbourhood: a calm place with calm people living in it, like the cute old couple across the street, a house where a sweet little scout girl lives, a hot neighbour...

Yeah. You got the luck to have THE Otoya Eita as your neighbour. The football player. The ninja. The womanizer. And also the biggest red flag known to ever walk this earth.

You actually didn't go to school straight away, since your parents still needed to sort everything out, and all of your friends were (sadly) left behind at your old city. And so, your only company was Otoya. You lived close, so it was easy to spend time together. Walks to the convenience store were a must, skating together came naturally and listening to music together while looking at the sky was normal between you two. He was an amazing friend, for sure, and you were already thinking about you two becoming something more, if you know what I mean.

You could spend hours just looking at him, admiring the green strand that adorned his white hair, his sarcastic comebacks and his jokes. And oh, his eyes. How you were absolutely smitten for them. You particularly loved when he was thinking about everything and nothing at the same time, those beautiful orbs just staring at the sky and thoughts probably going a mile per hour while the playlist you both mande together played at the background, giving the scene an almost romantic vibe. You'd give all of your pennies to find out just what was going inside his head at those moments.

Inside his head, Otoya Eita was quite literally shitting himself.

Since you didn't know anyone from school yet, you didn't know about his CAHEM "reputation", but that didn't mean it was gonna stay that way. The moment you started attending to classes, people were going to gravitate towards you. It wasn't a theory, it was something he was sure about: you were funny, charming pretty, smart AND had a nice butt. The boys love these things (and some girls do too), so it was only natural that they were going to come to you as if they were men who spent 100 days and 100 nights lost in the desert and you were a gallon full of water: they were going to come to you like thirsty dudes. He KNOWS that cause he did it, too. With lots of girls. But specially with you, when he first saw you moving in next door.

And the moment they found out that you and him are "going out", there's only two options:

1) They will leave and let him be (this would normally happen, but this time, with a pretty girl like you, it's highly unlikely)

2) OR they'll use his past to make you leave him (this ones more probable)

Yeah. So he's scared shitless about you finding out. He knows you'll leave him. You once mentioned an ex that cheated on you during a conversation and talked about how much you just loathed the guy. You told him you wished he was skinned alive, how you wanted him to fail all his classes for the rest of eternity and how you wished both sides of his pillow were warm everytime and he always had to shower in cold, freezing water. You hated cheaters. You wanted nothing to do with them.

And, so, the moment you found out about his past activities you would go poof. Disappear from his life. Maybe even change houses in the process (not really, since you love the neighbourhood, but you'd never let him inside your house again).

And that's a shame, really, cause he really likes you. At first, he just thought it was a great opportunity: "Hey, a hot girl just moved in the house right next to mine! An upgrade from the old woman who used to live there, no doubt. Why not give it a shot?". He had to admit, he only liked you because of your face and body (not his fault you had great facial structure and a beautiful body) and wanted you to be just one of his many nameless flings. He even talked about you with his bestfriend, Karasu Tabito

"There's this new cute girl who just move in nextdoor"

"Let me guess, 'ya flirting with her already?"

"You know me too well"

"Be careful mate, One of these days, I'm sure the spell will turn against the speller"

"Whadyyamean?"

"One day, you'll fall in love with a girl you're trying to trick. And then you won't have the balls to actually cheat on her, but she'll want nothing to do with you cause you're a cheater. Your past condemns you."

"What the heck? You cursing me now, you damn crow?"

"No. Just stating the truth"

He didn't even think it was possible. Tsk, he's the Otoya Eita, for crying out loud! Heartbreaker, cheater, call him what you want. But there's no doubt that he can get any girl in the world. If he wants her, he'll find a way to have her.

But when he looks at you for the first time, there's one thing in your eyes he hasn't seen in a while when anyone looked at him: indifference.

And not indifference as in: "I don't care about you", indifference as in: "Who are you?". You don't know about his past. You don't know about all of the bad things he has done before. This is a restart. A new beggining, as cringy as it sounds.

And so, the little things you both do made him develop a crush on you. Your smile is so, so pretty. The days you both spent snuggled up under a blanket and watching sappy romantic movies were the best, and he swore it would never happen, but you managed to make him turn red. You made him blush. No one has been capable of doing this.

He wishes he could keep you away from school. He doesn't want you to hear about how he made 50% of the school female population cry and the other 50% disgusted by the mere sight of him. But he can't do anything about it.

And so, the first day of school comes.

"I'm cooked"

"What?" Karasu says while closing his locker and leaning on it "How are ya cooked?"

"I fumbled, bro." Otoya says, putting his hands on his face and letting out a loud sigh "When she finds out I cheated on like 100 girls already, she's gonna ghost me"

"And ya worried about that because...?" Tabito says, raising a brow "Plenty of girls have left ya before. Hell, they even slapped and cursed you! And then next day, there ya were again, with yet another side piece"

Otoya thought hard if he should tell his friend about his feelings. Like, really. He contemplated it in his head for longer than he'd like to admit, but ultimately decided that it needed to be done. He needed all the help he could get.

And so, with a sigh, Eita admitted it.

"You were right. I like her."

"Sorry? The halls are loud, I can't quite hear ya"

"I like her"

"Say that again" Karasu smirked

"Shithead, your smirk makes it clear that you heard it already."

"I heard it the first time. I jus' wanted ya to see how I'm always right"

"Kill yourself" Otoya gritted

"Okay okay, calm down. Let's go, classes are starting" Karasu's smirk got impossibly wider "Cheaters first"

"Nah that's crazy" Otoya rolled his eyes, but did go first cause he already had a bad reputation with teachers.

Guess who was there when he entered the classroom?

"Hi, Eita!" You said, smiling when you saw him. To no one's surprise, there were already boys near you.

"Whassup, (Name)?"

"'Eita' already? Didn't know it was that serious" Karasu crossed his arms when you got near them "I'm Karasu Tabito, his bestfriend"

"Pleasure to meet you!" You said

Honestly, your first day of school was going great! Everyone was nice, and you were ready friends with some of the girls! And talking about them...

"(Name), what are you doing with... him?" One of your new girl friends, Yoru, made her away next to you.

Huh. Now that you noticed, everyone seemed surprised you and Otoya already knew eachother. Strange.

"What do you mean?" You asked, confused "He's my neighbour. We've been friends for a while already"

"But you're friends with a che..."

"Sit down class!"

Otoya couldn't help but let out a breath. He smiled at you and sat down on his seat next to Karasu.

"You're just delaying the unavoidible."

"I hate it when you curse me"

As the end of the class was getting closer, Eita seriously thought everything would turn out fine! He just couldn't let Yuro, one of his ex flings, get close and sepak to you! No big deal! Easy!

...what was that notebook page in your hand? And why were you looking all red like you're about to cry?

Wait. You're not red because you want to cry. You're red cause you're angry. At him.

And when you slide your finger across your neck in a "I'll kill you" way, Otoya knows.

He's fucked.

@sharkissm this is for you ma'am

Masterlist

Part 2

[soberpluto]

Astrology Observations - Rising Signs & Planets

Cancer rising as a parent unintentionally will tend to impose their upbringing's rules and traditions unto their household, and if these are discarded or not followed, they can get pretty upset or offended (they won't tell you this, tough), because attempting to organize and structure the life of their loved ones is one of the strongest ways to show their tenderness and care. This is especially true in routines related to food and family time.

Saturn rising, particularly in Capricorn (and to a lesser degree in the other earth signs) gives amazing bone structure, pretty teeth and refined face shape (well-sculpted cheekbones). They are likely not ones who have experienced broken bones in their childhoods. Depending on the ASC sign, Saturn here may also cause short stature and a sturdy anatomy.

Gemini risings often possess appealing and vibrant gesticulations, beautiful and elongated hands, feet and limbs, a unique tone of voice and a ridiculously contagious smile or laughter. On the flipside (sorry to say this), many of them are very good liars and tricksters, as their high intellect quickly figures out what you want to hear and see in them.

A secret us Scorpio rising folks don't what you to know is that whenever we are interested in you, our eyes will give us away rather easily. We'll hardly confess our feelings until much later, if at all, but if you feel under a microscope in our presence (if you are subject of our involuntarily eerie and soul-piercing gaze), you should know we really like you. You might as well think we hate or despise you... but it's completely the opposite!

Leo risings have gorgeous thick and voluminous hair, usually on the wavy side. They love to buy nice things that draws attention to them, as they enjoy standing out of the crowd even if they are more on the reserved or introverted side of the spectrum. They really don't mind spending their money on costly clothes, makeup or jewelry if they think that makes them more beautiful, even if it actually damages their finances. They love to select and buy gifts too!

Jupiter rising can exaggerate your rising sign's ruling body parts. For example, in Cancer: large boobs or wide thorax / in Taurus: wide and sensuous lips / in Libra: beautiful face, amazing skin and voluminous butt, etc. Unfortunately, Jupiter rising folks can also get overweight super easily.

Mercury ruling risings (including Mercury 1st house and Venus in Gemini) usually make the native look younger than they really are. They also have something really noticeable about their walk... from clumsy to swift, all styles will differ, but they will move in ways that are out of the ordinary, for some reason.

Mars ruling risings NEED some sort of intense physical activity to be balanced, if not, they can literally go crazy due to all their bottled-up anger and restless energy. That's why many of them have a knack for the military, gym or sports, not only because they are good at them, but because this eases their stress in a way nothing else can. And yes, sex is included too.

Water risings, particularly Pisces (including Neptune and Moon in 1st house/conjunct ASC) have the most mesmerizing stare. It doesn’t matter their size or form, their gaze is otherworldly, ethereal, and somehow hypnotic. Water rising souls speak through their eyes, and I’m in love with that.

A Mars rising man can be mistaken for a f*ck boy much easier than other placements, especially if they have Air or Fire in 1st house. Women with this placement have huge sex appeal too, but they tend to attract a lot of envy and rivalry from other females, as their personality is perceived as confrontational and aggressive, even if they don’t act that way. This configuration gives good results when they work with men, but not so much with women.    

Thanks for reading! 😘

Written by @soberpluto

Book readings here! https://starintuitivehealing.etsy.com

[bodybeyondstories]

story prompt: a brand of jockstrap quickly becomes the gold standard amongst college and professional athletics because the competitive price structure that makes them cheaper to buy in bulk than any other brand. The fit is different than everything else on the market too. These jockstraps keep their butts so high and tight it's almost as if they're bigger. Are their butts bigger? That could explain the number of pants-splitting wardrobe malfunctions that are afflicting athletes across all sports. Say nothing of the guys who like the little lift and have started wearing the jocks under their street clothes too

Ok I've actually been thinking about a similar thing for a while because occasionally my Insta feed is inundated with these ads for perky butt pants, which look like low quality chinos that are just well fitted in the back I guess, but I always feel like the algorithm is being shady.

1239 words

_______________________________

[Nadir: I left you a gift on the entry table, try 'em on 😛]

[Carlos: Are these those perky butt jockstraps I keep seeing ads for?]

[Nadir: Yeah probably lol. A friend of mine got a sponsorship deal or whatever and they basically threw a case of these at him. I think they kind of work, they're all over my socials]

[Carlos: All of those guys already have nice asses, this is Marketing 101. You flood everyone's social media feeds with athletes and fitness influencers who are already stacked so you can make the claim that *your* special jockstrap has some cutting edge butt lifting technology. Then every faux butt model follows suit, it becomes a ubiquitous gay fashion piece, and the money rolls in until the next fad]

[Nadir: Ok, fair enough. But in the meantime would it hurt to look a little more caked up?]

[Carlos: You're not wrong 👀]

Carlos sighed at his phone, then at the pile of individually packaged jockstraps on the coffee table that his roommate left for him. It wasn't like he cared all that much. He was more so just annoyed at the progression of ads and sponsorship deals preying on queer men's perpetual body image crises. What looked like a regular jockstrap with tighter bands seemed to suddenly be everywhere. Of course personal trainers and athletes with huge followings were ripe for sponsorship deals to build out a market, but now he was seeing random dudes with generally unremarkable figures post in these things like they were life changing.

But they do look good, he admitted to himself, thinking about a friend of his who for years was incapable of putting on any mass, yet suddenly his private stories featured him in nothing but these jocks framing a delectable bubble butt that came seemingly out of nowhere. He held the packaging in his hands. And they seem functional. And I've been needing to re-up on gym gear for a while. And and and... he thought to himself, finally relenting and ripping open the plastic cover.

They were cute, higher quality than expected, but mostly resembled every other jockstrap on the market. He whipped off his underwear right there in the living room and slid on the jock. It was surprisingly comfortable, so much so that he didn't know why he'd been wearing any other underwear all this time.

Not to mention his ass looked great. He had a pretty dedicated workout routine and was so stranger to some heavy deadlifts, but as he turned toward the full length mirror, he almost gasped at the bubble that stood out behind him. He didn't even know he had that much ass to work with. He gave it a shake just to make sure it was real.

"I knew you'd like it," said Nadir, beaming as he entered through the front door.

And he did. He wore them to the gym the next morning, and the next, and the next. They immediately became a staple in his workout gear, and he was having some of the best leg days he'd had in maybe ever. The only issue was keeping himself from leering at his own dump truck in the mirror, or at the other gymgoers who had obviously also gotten the memo about these booty enhancing jocks. He was more than happy to let go of his previous cynicism and learn to love this new fad for however long it lasted.

The way they lifted his butt made a statement, his ass becoming the main attraction in any pair of pants he wore. After a while, he couldn't shake the feeling that his derriere was holding on to some of the added umph even without the jock. He chalked it up to the added confidence producing serious gains in the gym, confirmed when, in the middle of a set of deep squats, he felt an unexpected breeze across his butt cheeks.

He'd been noticing how significant his progress had been, but didn't think it was enough to blow out the seat of his gym shorts in broad daylight. He didn't even know that was a thing that really happened. He tried to cover his ample posterior as his face flushed with embarrassment, but after a quick glance around, realized that everyone around was largely unconcerned. In fact, there were a few others casually finishing their workouts with split seams. He did the same.

"Don't sweat it," said Nadir later that day. "It's been happening to me all the time." He had always had a shapely bottom, carefully constructed through his budding career as a personal trainer, yet in recent weeks Carlos couldn't help but notice it inflating well out of proportion, his follower count and engagement inflating along with it. "At my gym, these are basically optional now," he added, pulling at the hem of a pair of gym shorts that strained for dear life across his comical bubble butt, the bottom third of his cheeks spilling out, framed by the straps of his jock.

It was a look coming back in style, booty shorts that looked woefully incapable of full coverage. Carlos had just donated a bunch of old pairs that he could've sworn fit fine just a few months ago, but now dug into his cheeks halfway down.

Nadir's pants optional policy had been catching on across the more professional, private, influencer-heavy gyms, a pragmatic way of extending the longevity of gym shorts that didn't stand a chance against the juicy pumps emphasized by these now ubiquitous jockstraps. It wasn't uncommon, and was slowly becoming fashionable, to see people walking around with their cheeks exposed, seat of their pants fluttering in the breeze like accidentally assless chaps.

Unfortunately, many day jobs weren't yet so lax with their dress codes, producing a menswear crisis of over-stressed seams, constant tailoring, and increasingly frequent instances of catastrophic failure. It became obvious who had been influenced into wearing these jockstraps not just at the gym but in their day to day, their disproportionately round butts bursting through the fabric of slacks and khakis whenever they bent down too fast, or more often encased in much more forgiving spandex or very loose sweats. A serious bubble butt had basically become the norm, to the point where navigating through the crowd at circuit parties meant risking being crushed to death by a gauntlet of jock-encased oversized glutes.

Carlos, with a blessed work from home gig, had taken to wearing mostly nothing below the belt for the sake of comfort, his massive globes spilling out over the edges of the stool at his desk as he plugged away on his laptop. His phone pinged with a text from Nadir.

[Nadir: Can you check for a package? I'm expecting some new product they asked me to demo. Feel free to check it out, I think they sent extras!]

Sure enough, there was a package on the porch with a thank you note for Nadir and some guidelines for the kinds of posts he should make to feature their product. His fitness career had really taken off in recent months, which Carlos was glad to see. He opened the packaging and pulled out a stretchy tank top that promised to "Lift, frame, and enhance your pecs!"

Again with this, he scoffed, turning the fabric over in his fingers. Might as well take it for a spin. It is push day.

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

Quarterfinals, Match 4

expand to see all propaganda received! (enormous wall of text warning)

Tracy Chapman:

"I can’t think of anything clever to say because I’m too busy sighing dreamily"

"GUYS ITS FUCKING TRACY CHAPMAN VOTE FOR HER OR ELSE ILL EAT PLAYDOUGH"

"Tracy Chapman made the best song of all time (fast car)"

"ik im the hope sandoval guy but if hope doesn't make it tracy has to she made me realize i was a lesbian i just thought i was bi then i listened to her and now im a lesbian she is powerful she is strength if you looked at her and looked at my art you would see 20 years of inspiration from one single woman"

"she's too good to commit atrocities to me but im the gore guy and you aren't for that. i would let her take out my vocal chords and use them as floss. i would have her saw down my bones to make a vinyl of her music. i would go on all fours and let her slaughter me like a pig. i want to be her cat"

"The most powerful written and performed voice of the 90s. Everyone, of any nationality or belief system, could feel the words Tracy Chapman sang. She gets her dues but deserves even more."

Eddie Vedder:

"He's just a lil' guy. I want to pick him up and put him in my pocket and take him with me everywhere."

"Men peaked in 1992 when Eddie Vedder was on MTV Unplugged and just looked as pretty as can be. No one will ever top that."

"facial structure sculpted by the gods"

"that scene in singles where he’s just staring straight into the camera when they’re watching that bee documentary or whatever GOD"

"He's fun-sized and therefore easy to yeet into his natural environment of The Rafters. His height-to-hair-length ratio makes him the Cousin Itt of the final four: the party doesn't really kick off until he shows up. No amount of unhinged propaganda can be more unhinged than the little gremlin himself but by God it's worth a try."

"I want Eddie Vedder to spit in my mouth"

"I have no idea what the fuck he's saying literally ever and that's kinda hot I think"

"holy FUCK i want to i want to claw his eyes out and put them in a blender until they’re the consistency of mochi that’s been left out for like 10-15 minutes"

"icon of wet kittens you take home in a box everywhere. imagine scooping him up and carrying him away."

"listen to daughter by pearl jam like uh wow"

"Just a beautiful little guy. I love how expressive, emotive, intense, and passionate he is. The way he can make me weep or give me the chills with just his voice and a guitar. And how he (and the rest of Pearl Jam) has always been so outspoken and hands-on about numerous social and environmental issues and just generally being a force for positivity and progress. This man stage-climbed right into my heart <3"

"He has a really cute butt, like the peach emoji"

[falsamoneda]

I think the situation with Arsenal wasn't helped by Jonas Eidevall's two interviews where he excused himself of all personal responsibility and implied Arsenal was broke. I do think it's hysterical though that he publicly admitted that Emma Hayes hates him so much she refuses to talk to him and now San Diego Wave is hemorrhaging players who clearly want to protect their spot on the USWNT.

He’s fucking wild. Tells me he was more butt hurt about the situation than he admitted by how he’s now done several interviews about it …like you’re finally gone be there and stay there. Not that I’m wanting to give this man credit, but he didn’t say something pretty valid about the women’s side not having a sporting director. For all that’s good about the WSL, I’ve only seen quite a few people touch on the issues that come with being tied to mens’ clubs or Premier league clubs. We’ve seen it with United and we heard about the rumors with City, so what’s being said about the lack of structure on the women’s side at Arsenal pretty much tracks.

[unsoundedcomic]

I love Bell’s character design. The hyper masculine body and facial structure with the thin eyebrows — it’s just so interesting and believable to me. How do you come up with various character appearances? Do they just come to you, or are they more consciously planned?

Bell was pretty easy since I consciously wanted him to be unattractive. Demagogues often are uggos - I don't think physically attractive men come off as trustworthy to the sorts that are swayed by demagogues. Maybe they project more easily onto unattractive men? Or unattractive men have had to work harder to build up their charisma in other ways? It's an interesting thing to think about.

But a burly, glutted-up, butt-faced officer would appeal to his soldiers, especially when he was always speaking for them and acting so personally afflicted by casualties. Bell looks like who he is, I think.

As for everyone else, I think it's obvious I'm a sucker for pretty people. I've been trying to get away from it, but we're stuck with quite a few of them :) I need to try modelling more characters loosely off real people, like Claggart looking vaguely like Mike Stoklasa. You can get a lotta mileage outta just changing head shapes. There's a pretty prominent female character in the next Book and I've drawn her lots over the years and always made her conventionally pretty but now I'm thinking I wanna make her dorky-cute, and wondering how I can pull that off in my style.

This kinda character design has always been worlds more interesting to me than elaborate costumes. Just tinkering with silhouettes and tweaking face/feature shapes.

[casspurrjoybell-20]

FOOLS - Chapter 45 - Part 1

BOOK ONE: The 'Fools Fall in Love' Trilogy

*Warning - Adult Content*

Samuel Moretti

'Christmas. Ugh. I loved Christmas. Everything about it.'

The decorations with a pretty sparkly lights, the Christmas trees, the fake snowflakes strung up, the whole town had light posts with big light-up candy canes hanging from them.

The smells of all Christmassy goodness like gingerbread and peppermint.

'The music. Ugh. All of it I loved so much.'

Christmas Eve was absolutely perfect.

My parents went out to a friends Christmas Eve party, which Noah and I found out later was Kaitlyn's parents party.

Zach and Haven also attended Kaitlyn's party.

'Noah and I? Spent the whole night together.'

Snuggled up in my bed, watching The Grinch and drinking hot chocolate.

At one point we tried making Christmas sugar cookies.

I say 'tried' because Noah, for the life of him, couldn't shape the cookies into the perfect gingerbread men and Christmas trees that I was creating.

So, he said 'fuck this dumb cookie shit' and turned them into dicka and he said I was immature and of course we took advantage of our alone time.

"Fuck, that feels so good," Noah murmured, his head laying on my pillow with his naked body below me as I sat on his butt and moved my hands across his back while adding pressure.

"You're so good at massages, for real you should become a masseuse."

I chuckled.

"Isn't masseuse a female term?" I questioned as I rubbed his lower back then slowly moved up to his shoulders.

I felt him shrug under my hands.

"I don't know but I swear to God, anything you want me to do after this, I'll do it."

I laughed again and Noah was true to his word when all I told him I wanted was for him to fuck me and he definitely did.

********

Christmas Day was just as perfect.

Noah and I had just finished dinner with my family and then it was my favorite time, presents.

Okay, yes, Christmas isn't about the gifts, it's about the birth of Jesus but I went to church that morning, so I was still a good child.

Noah got dragged to church with us which he did not like but I was happy he went for me and stayed in a good behavior.

Back to presents, my family did this thing where we all sat in a circle and opened our presents one at a time.

It took forever, I liked it.

It was nice and structured.

Noah, however, was impatient and had ripped half the Christmas wrapping paper off by the time it got to him.

He opened the gift from me.

"A Switch?"

He looked up at me with wide eyes.

"Sam, this is too expensive. Are you kidding me?"

"It's okay," I insisted.

"And it's basically for me too. You don't have any game consoles at your house, so now I can play the Switch when I come over," I smiled reassuringly.

"Damn you," my boyfriend said in front of my family but then he kissed me.

"Thank you," Noah added softly.

Then he stood up.

"Now your present," he grinned and walked out of the living room.

Haven and my mom gave me silly, excited grins which made me feel anxious and giddy.

My dad gave me a nod and a thumbs up.

I looked up at Noah when he walked back into the room.

He was holding a box with holes in it.

I stood up.

"Noah..."

"I talked to you parents, they said it was okay and I know how much you love cats."

"Stop, I'm gonna cry," I said but couldn't contain my smile as he stepped in front of me.

We both sat down with the box in between us.

"Did you get me a cat? I'm gonna cry," I repeated.

"Open the box," Noah chuckled.

I squealed and opened the adoption box.

Inside was the cutest black cat with tiny white paws and a streak of white fur along his face.

"He is two years old and is up to date on all of his vaccines and ya' know, got his balls snipped or whatever it's called," Noah explained as I smiled from ear to ear as I picked up the soft fur-ball of a cat.

He was scared but he let me pick him up and bring him to my chest.

That was when I noticed the collar and the name.

"You did not name the cat Dum-bass Junior," I laughed.

"Your cat and I did," Noah said smugly like it was a genius name.

"Oh my God," I was so happy.

"I love you."

"I love you too," he smiled.

Then my whole family wanted to see Dumb-ass and I ended up getting all cat supplies for Christmas, which I was more than happy with and I also got a lecture on how he was my cat meaning my responsibility and blah, blah, blah.

Later that night, Noah was laying down next to me in my bed as we watched Dumbass sniff and explore around my room.

"And you got on me for buying you a Switch and yet you bought my a freaking cat," I laughed.

"You like him?"

With his arm wrapped around me, Noah pulled me closer to him.

"Are you joking? I love him. This was the best Christmas gift."

"Good," and we laughed as Dumb-ass got spooked by his own tail.

"I think he fits right in."

********

"This has honestly been the best year of my life," I told Noah with my arms wrapped around his neck.

We were swaying back and forth in the makeshift dance floor of Zach Price's house on New Years Eve.

The past week after Christmas and leading up to New Years, was spent with Noah and I watching Dumbass and me making videos of him to post on my social media.

Then, with five minutes till midnight, everyone was dancing, grinding on each other, twerking around us while drunk or high or both but my whole line of sight was Noah.

Only Noah.

His hands were on my waist and he leaned down, stopping right before his lips met mine.

"You don't know how much you've changed my life, Sam Moretti. Nothing makes me more fucking happy than knowing you're mine," and I swear I melted in his hands at those words.

"I'm yours?" I questioned, my heart beating out of my chest and we heard the count down going.

"Three."

"All fucking yours," Noah claimed me, tightening his grip on me.

"Two."

"Forever," he promised me, my heart feeling full with love and adoration for the person in front of me.

"One. Happy New Year," everyone screamed and shouted and a few seniors blew off firecrackers in the back yard.

Noah pressed his lips to mine, seeping his 'forever' promise in and I believed him with all my heart.

[elliebear666]

So, despite my depression spirals?

Let's talk about my transition.

Am I in any way regretting the changes? No. Not a single bit. In fact, I'm a little sad in some ways that the changes aren't MORE, ya know... massive? That I didn't develop normal sized and looking breasts. That my face structure is still the same, even if more feminine. That my hips didn't widen. Etc. I'm sad that the effects didn't literally make me female lol and that's the ONLY issue.

What negative effects have I experienced? Hmm... anxiety about not looking feminine enough. Depression about not looking feminine enough. So essentially the same dysphoria I experienced before, only now massively reduced.

Positive things I've experienced?

God, where do I start? Umm... I have developed breasts. They're perky and small, but I wear bras now. It's... as silly as this sounds? Going out and buying bras for myself? Made me so fucking happy. I can't express the euphoria I experienced as a trans girl going to buy bras with my mom. I'm literally going to cry about this. The experiences I never got? Just small things like this? God I... it sounds so silly but it is just... I'm happy.

My hips and butt have both become more full. I feel pretty in tight jeans, and my legs look feminine enough that, as long as I shave my legs, I wear shorts now! I used to HATE shorts because of my leg hair! As a teen, I wanted to shave my legs with my mom's razor but I don't think I did. But, when I was dating a girl, she was insecure about her body hair so I was like... why don't you shave? She was nervous but I said, "Okay. Tell you what. I'll shave too!" In truth? I felt excited at the prospect. I shaved and she shaved. I realized I loved it. She realized she preferred not to. So, I shave pretty often now and feel happy wearing shorts. :)

My experience with estrogen changing my emotions? So... I've always been an emotional person. I'm a big cry baby. But my emotions often felt... like, yes, I experienced numbness and emptiness often but... my experience has become... how do I describe this? More right? When I experience emotions? Like, in the past, I felt like the world was in shades of gray. Everything felt lifeless and empty and cold. And now? I feel like I can see in color. I feel like I'm experiencing emotions that are even more full and robust. I do cry more easily now too. I'm not sure if it's because I am accepting my feelings or because estrogen has caused that change. But I used to be bothered how, as I grew? The changes of testosterone? They were AWFUL.

Let's talk about clothing and style. Ya girl went through a series of aesthetic changes and issues lmao like I didn't know how to dress or fully what I liked. As time has passed, I'm coming into what I like. For the longest time, I wore an oversized rainbow dyed hoodie and jeans/leggings. I wanted to express with my clothing that I was living a light of life and vivacity and vividness. Now? Ya girl is back to wearing a lot of black. I still wear blue jeans, etc. But I don't wear tshirts much if at all unless as a night shirt. I have dresses and skirts and I LOVE some of my dresses to death. I was definitely sad when summer ended and I couldn't wear dresses anymore. But, summer is coming and I can start wearing them again!!!! I love that my outfits say "girl" now. I feel shapely and I feel attractive. Men hit on me which... is an interesting development? Being approached by literal strangers interested in sex or wanting to give me their number is... odd - I accepted one number, but blocked him after a weird call, and shut down everyone else. Especially because most of these men don't know I'm transgender. I haven't been misgendered in years. I do worry about the weight I've lost making me look more masculine though.

Dating as a woman? Existing as a woman in the world? It's been an experience. The level of anxiety and worry I had about passing was astronomical. Now... I get called ma'am, miss, girlfriend. Baby girl... and I just... god. I'm smiling my ass off. I'm a daughter and a sister and an aunt. The level of euphoria I've experienced about the changes to these titles? About my pronouns? She/her/hers. I am beyond happy. I am so fucking happy about this aspect. I didn't want to be a brother or boyfriend or son or uncle or husband or father because... I wasn't a man. I said I didn't want to get married or have children (1. Didn't want to "pass on what I have" 2. Didn't want to be a husband or a father.) Although, there was a person I wanted to marry, I would have... not been able to live as a man to be with this woman. But now? The thought of being a mother? A wife? I could do that. I fact... I would be ecstatic to be someone's wife :) just imagining, "Hey, guys. This is my wife, Ellie!" Shivers! Whenever I adopt? I'll be a mom :) Being a girlfriend is amazing lmao I'm so happy that guys have told me they want me to be their girlfriend.

Let's see... what else?

Learning to change my voice? The level of vocal dysphoria I have experienced in my life has been truly awful. Like... bad. I spent a good couple years feminizing my voice and I am happy with the results. Although I wish it didn't have to be a CHOICE to change my voice, and that was just how it was? I enjoyed the journey aspect of finding my voice. I can now talk and hear a voice that is MINE! Like... this is MY voice! And like... I've cried and laughed and been so fucking euphoric about having a voice that matches who I am. I wish cis people knew what this experience was like for trans people. However? Although I have come to love my voice in its own way, for singing? Um... I still experience dysphoria to a good degree about my singing voice. But, I don't think that's something I could easily change? Especially because of the damage I caused my vocal chords. Like, it is what it is, but... tbh? I was screaming for years because I was in pain. I was angry and hurting and lost and broken and dysphoric. And I was destroying myself. I was destroying myself because the body I inhabited felt so goddamn wrong. Like... fuck. Idek. I'm sorry...

Let's see... what else 🤔

Ahhh, my name!!! So. I wrote a book some time ago. And a character in it was named Ellianore. When I first started considering names? I considered using that name. That's the name I used in online games a lot. But I decided that the Ellianore was... a bit bunch? Um... and I settled on Elleanor instead. Madeline (pronounced madalyn) So, the reason I chose Madeline was... I love the name for one lol. And then... my mom used to call me Mattie as a kid. And the nickname for Madeline is Maddie :) I'm sure you can put two and two together. I felt like it was a nod to the past, to my mom that I love so much, and a brave, bold step into my future. My old name was Matthew Evan. My new name is Elleanor Madeline. The initials just switched around!!! Isn't that cool!?

So?

In summary... the positive I've experienced far, far, far outweigh the negative. The negative being shit I already dealt with, just now not as severe and mitigated as best I can at current. I have no regrets. This is who I am and what I needed. I'm experiencing euphoria, living a life that feels authentic. And I am finally finding contentment in myself as a person.

I guess... some of my regrets would be that I didn't transition as a teen. I do regret that. And I regret how I allowed myself to act due to my pain and depression with my life. I've hurt people I love... and I so very much regret to my core these mistakes.

I look forward to the future. I look forward to my surgery. I look forward to the years I have left in which I can live and love authentically.

[castafar]

Raiju went by many names; Atticus, Asher, Raleigh, Ryker, Orion. The latter was the most recent and the most familiar to him. He had been around for eons, so changing his alias was a fitting idea so people wouldn't even dare to question his true age. Which, even himself, Orion did not know. And yet, even though he was millenniums old, he was still infatuated with the human race, and how small and fragile they seemed to him. From an outside perspective, he had met many foreign, sentient and extra-terrestrial deities that could squash a human with their pinky finger. But, Orion was fascinated by them. And truly, everytime he had come to Earth, he was captivated by their beauty. Aeson was like any other he had met. Upon meeting him, Orion was impressed at how calm the man remained upon seeing a large, naked figure in his kitchen, wolfing down litres of water like it had nowhere to go. Though upon close inspection, he could tell by the man's gaze and the beat of his heart that his adrenaline was running high.

Orion had meant no harm. And he didn't mean to break into a place that was already occupied. He landed in the middle of nowhere, far better than arriving butt-naked in the middle of Times Square, so his senses were at fault for the way his fatigue and thirst was clouding his senses.

In the shower now, which really is only just about big enough to fit both men, with Orion pretty much taking up the majority of the space due to his height and wide-framed muscled structure. Alas, he turns his back to the homeowner when he slips inside, just as naked as he was. Orion took a quick glance over his shoulder. Nice, he thought to himself. Quite delicious without those pyjama bottoms on.

In silence, he showered, soaking himself thoroughly in the lukewarm water, and drenching himself in body-wash and shampoo. He was smothering the sudsy soap across his body with a washcloth he had found nearby, when he heard the man behind him fall flat on his behind, he turned to face him, looking down at him, his keen eyes inspecting every curve and dip of muscle, body-hair, pert nipples. But his focus turned to the shifters erect shaft, bobbing and hanging free between his legs. It was almost instantaneous the way his mouth was flooded in saliva, which he forcibly gulped down. Soon enough, Orion helped him to his feet, practically utilising very little amount of his strength to physically pick him up by under his arms, like a parent would do to a child. Once Aeson was at his feet, and before he could say anything else, Orion's hand dropped down to take possession of that impressive length. He didn't even feel the need to look down at it, he maintained eye contact throughout as he started applying a slow stroke to it, his wrist turning to perform a churning motion to that thick slab. "It looks to me like you enjoyed the view." Not a surprise. Smooth bubble-butt, a muscular and lean back, trunk thighs, broad and dense pecs, washboard cut abs, arms easily being larger than Aeson's own head. Any sane man would have a similar physical reaction.

While maintaining that eye contact, he dropped down to one knee. The grip he had on the man's shaft moved to instead grapple onto the firm, full balls beneath from the underside, enabling him to direct the length at his desired angle. It stood close to his lips now. After taking a gradual, deep long inhale from head to base, he dressed the very tip with a wet kiss. "Don't question it. Don't say anything. Just enjoy it... it seems like you need it." Plus, it was his sly way of attempting to persuade Aeson to allow him to sleep in his bed for the night. His lips spread just wide enough to abduct the engorged, pink head into the wet heat of his mouth. The taste alone has his graciously humming, sending vibrations through flesh-on-flesh contact. It seemed like the water had run out, because as soon as his tongue swiped along and around the end, silence fell between them, with only the sounds of his wet lips mopping at the skin and his wicked skilled tongue swirling around him.

@castafar --- continued from here .

"Wait a second," he began, tempted to point out that he was the one who'd found the man, and this was his house, and he deserved some kind of explanation, but instead he finished with, "Can I at least get something to call you?" Aeson followed the stranger upstairs while he continued. "I mean, I could give you a name myself, but I guarantee it'll be worse than whatever you tell me. I'm too tired to think of anything better than 'meteor man' or 'hot E.T.' right now." To be honest, it was hard to think of anything but the man's sizable ass while he walked behind him. When they reached the bathroom, Aeson stopped outside the bedroom doorway, still waiting for an answer.

From where he stood, he couldn't see the stranger, but he could see that the bathroom door was open and that steam was beginning to leak out into the bedroom. Even without seeing him, he could hear what the man was doing, from the brush of the washcloth against skin to the slick sweeping of hands across a wet body, ending with the sound of a few slippery, but rhythmic, pumps. Before he could think, he had tucked his thumbs under his waistband, pulled his sweats down, and stepped into the shower. It was more research, he told himself.

"Mind if I join you? Figured we could save some water," he said. "And I know that sounds like a line, but I swear, water usage is a real concern out in the middle of nowhere."

The spray felt cooler than usual, but with his own high body heat, he had to look at the shower knob to see the real temperature: as low as the shower could go. The large clouds of hot steam actually were rolling off the being himself. Aeson grabbed the shower gel the man had set aside, squirted some into his hands, and began lathering himself up while he tried to remember all the creatures that could produce that much body heat. His mental list was too long to be helpful. The other's scent seemed to be fading as well, masked by the woodsy aroma of the shower gel, until all Aeson was left with were the pheromones the man was currently putting off. He knew his eyes flashed yellow right then without having to look in a mirror.

The werewolf finished his own shower in under a minute. In the midst of an attempted getaway, before temptation got the best of him, his foot caught on the strip of metal separating the shower from the bathroom. He toppled backward and landed right on his ass on the tile floor.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," he muttered, bringing a hand up to his forehead. On the bright side, there were few things better to kill a boner than a bruised ego.

[rainy-astrology]

Rising signs

Just a post about rising signs - the details I notice about each physically and personality wise. I may change/add to this later

**Aspects to ascendant, venus, stelliums, degrees, and anything in 1st house can affect your rising sign**

___

Aries

Strong/thick eyebrows

Strong features...sharp jaws and cheekbones

Can have markings on their face

May have big foreheads

Naturally blunt and straightforward, sassy

___

Taurus

Broad shoulders (esp if person has strong venus + Taurus influence). Taurus does rule the neck and shoulder areas

Pointed chin and cheekbones, angular jaw

Long fingers

Tend to be more slender compared to Taurus suns

Simple and clean fashion usually, may wear accessories. I know a lot of Tauruses/Taurus placements and they all rly seem to love accessories, especially on their wrists or necks

Calm demeanour, may even seem slow

Can look tired/sleepy

___

Gemini

May have long limbs

Small faces and features

May wear glasses

Talkative

Usually straightforward in communication, may not even have a filter

___

Cancer

Seem to be small ppl - height, weight, presence...most are often very quiet and even a little shy. Often soft spoken

Cancer rising women may have bigger chests and/or thighs

Round faces, cheekbones

Watery and soft eyes. Idk how to explain it, they just look watery, like they're gonna cry. May look sad naturally (although I've observed this in all 3 water risings...)

They just look soft and gentle overall

Can have a caring, motherly/parental energy to them

___

Leo

Always noticeable tbh even if they're not stylish. E.g I had a Leo rising classmate in high school who was not fashionable in any way, but he was also the only student in our class who wore leather gloves everyday. He also always styled his hair. I have a female leo rising acquaintance who always dressed up every day to class. She never looked plain. Her hair was always styled and to this day it is still fluffy and curly

But a lot of them do like fashion tho and take pride in their style

Usually have fluffy/styled hair

Broad back and shoulders, always stand tall and upright

Can look like cats sometimes

Cheekbones

Tbh surprisingly quiet ppl, only their presence is loud. But can be social if you approach them

___

Virgo

Virgo rising men tend to be really tall, while Virgo rising women are often shorter

Wider faces and forehead

Square shaped jaw; often have nice strong jawlines in general

I've also seen so many wear glasses. I'm starting to wonder if it's a Mercury thing...

Can be talkative

Have a very down to earth energy

___

Libra

Most are conventionally attractive physically, seem nice and likeable at 1st glance. Even if they're not, they know how to talk and act to make ppl like them either way. Libra placements want to be liked and so always try to make a good 1st impression. So yes they're careful about their image

Balanced proportions. Long legs especially, no matter their height

Dimples

A lot tend to wear neutral colors; often know how to dress and appear neat

___

Scorpio

Long faces, big noses

Often have a sharp, intense gaze

May have hooded eyes, arched brows

A lot love to wear black

May have an intense, intimidating energy

Are pretty quiet ppl

___

Sagittarius

Often big in some way - height, weight, presence...you can definitely hear their laugh from a mile away

Thick thighs and/or butts. Sag rising women especially may have curves

Not that stylish I've noticed...they just wear whatever is comfortable

Very friendly and approachable. They can talk to anyone and befriend them. People may always want to talk to them too

Very energetic and expressive

___

Capricorn

Often smaller ppl. Body build leans more onto the stocky, thick side and most are short

Noticeable teeth; prominent bone structure in general

Care about the way they dress; always want to look presentable

May seem serious at first glance. Tbh I think they are a bit more intimidating to me compared to a Scorpio rising

Hardworking ppl, always busy with something

___

Aquarius

Round eyes, always seem to have a spark in them

Can dress in experimental fashion. Like their sister sign Leo, they want to stand out too. Although Leos may appear more cool and trendy, while Aquarius dress a bit quirky

May be thick in certain body parts

Very straightforward ppl; they don't seem scared to speak their mind...although Aquarius placements in general just tend to be blunt

___

Pisces

So many look lost tbh often have the "deer in headlights" expression naturally

Pretty in a whimisical kind of way...Although just may be a Pisces thing in general

Have the watery eyes look as well; round and big eyes

The Pisces rising I've come across often have small waists

___

Masterlist

___

Other blogs:

Main: Kpop typology (MBTI + Enneagram) @rainymbti

Side: Kpop fanarts @rainy-artworks

[bodybeyondstories]

Just ignore it - 1

David is teaching a course on identifying and managing magical anomalies, and begins to suspect there may be a reality-warper in class. Largely because everyone's butt looks too good to believe.

2 (Next)

ass expansion // growth

2526 words

(btw this is inspired by one of my favorite TF stories)

---

“Now the point of these journals is to start recognizing energetic and temporal anomalies, better attuning yourselves to…”

I paused mid-sentence, feeling that something was off, taking a beat before I continued with the lecture. I was hoping to have some time to settle into the Fall semester before having to deal with an inevitable minor metaphysical crisis, but a reality warper a few weeks in was not what I saw coming.

Having a job that includes resolving paranormal wrinkles in spacetime seems exciting until you realize that somehow they’ve found a way to turn it into yet another 9 to 5. People often expect some sort of imposing mansion or gothic structure whenever they hear “Center of Supernatural Sciences,” but it’s actually a squat concrete block cobbled together by a regional college in the 70s. The scariest thing for visitors is figuring out how to connect to the WiFi, though if you’re rude to Seema at the front desk, she will put a hex on you and that’s just your own fault. It’s been a mainstay on this campus for decades, but for how much longer was unclear, as administration has been defunding us relentlessly for as long as I’ve been here. The university doesn’t see our value in light of its own investments in mass surveillance technology and a more ‘hard science’ study of spookiness, but the work we do is still important. Supernatural phenomena are much more common than a lot of people realize–it’s just a matter of actually paying attention–and our work is split between teaching, research, and service, addressing issues locally and regionally as they arise.

And no, we’re not magic cops. We’re not out to punish or control, fist bumping each other as we shoot silver bullets first and ask questions later. That’s archaic. We investigate, mitigate, and remediate, stepping in whenever the fabric of reality gets a little too bunched or frayed and mending as best we can.

I teach a class called “Investigating Supernatural Threats” almost every semester, which is a title that I absolutely despise–I think it’s an insult to our more than human neighbors–but the department is worried that if we change it we’ll end up losing funding to the criminal justice program, and it’s a hill I’m only willing to get bruised on. But it’s a survey of identifying and responding to paranormal, metaphysical, and magical shenanigans, so it tends to get all kinds. It’s usually a relatively small group, a smattering of grad students from occult history to crypto-zoology, museum curators and archivists needing a refresher on what to be cautious of, and often–which I’m personally delighted by–new forest rangers sent by the state’s Department of Natural Resources who are doing overnights for the first time.

But back to the issue at hand. It’s my job to stay observant across multiple temporal and dimensional planes, so I’m known for picking up on minor phenomena and patterns that at first glance may not seem significant. So around week 3, I couldn’t help but notice that most, if not all, of the men in the class had near perfect, juicy butts, yet all unique in their own ways. I was used to commanding attention with a round booty sitting pretty on my 6’1” frame, looking downright disproportionate against my lean swimmer’s build–a blessing and a curse, really–but some of them were giving me a run for my money. Which isn’t really an issue, squats are en vogue and there are plenty of male leg day enthusiasts thanks to social media trends, not that I’m complaining, but in week 4, I picked up on the fact that all of their pants fit so well. Too well. Like not just fitted but custom made for each of their unique and sizeable proportions, as if carefully crafted to emphasize and display their bubble butts. A telltale sign.

During class, I kept my extrasensory eyes and ears open, seeing if I could pick up on any novel energetic shifts. And I felt something odd. Something deep and subsonic, pressing tentatively against the borders of our reality, like a sperm whale floating up to a kayak without making a sound. I could feel an energy seeping into local space, something building to some sort of threshold, before, with a submerged *pop* that I could ‘hear’ elsewhere, it was gone. It was like nothing had happened. In fact, nothing had happened. I turned to the board to continue writing something that I had forgotten, only realizing after class had ended that I had been writing about two inches above where I had left off. I did a somatic check, quickly scanning my body from toes to head to fingertips. I felt fine, had all ten fingers, only two eyes, an ass that could stop traffic, still a strapping 6’3”. But had that been true an hour ago? Doubt was setting in.

As someone who teaches the detection and mitigation of magical fuckery, this isn’t the first time I’ve had to deal with a potential situation like this. You’d be surprised how often some horny gay warlock has a little too much fun and needs to be reined in, or someone’s chaos magic manifests without them realizing–even worse, with them fully realizing. If you’ve ever had to neutralize an entire college dorm (and a frat house to boot) you would understand why we need more funding and support in magical education, but this isn’t the time for my soap box. A mystery’s afoot.

My most important piece of advice: Just ignore it. The thing is, a reality warper is a serious matter. If you call someone out, you better come correct and prepared for anything. Even just them knowing that you know–or that you’re on the hunt–can get real messy real fast. So you have to act casual. Don’t let them know you’re on to them, and don’t let them know that you know that something is seriously off. This is why I always introduce an extended project around tracking anomalies in the fabric of spacetime, having my students keep journals of anything weird, unusual, or metaphysically wobbly. Don’t react in real time, just on paper and in private, keeping a record of things as they happen. But it seemed like whoever this was was influencing the passage of time in very subtle ways and everyone’s memories, for the most part, were adjusting accordingly. Which is why no one in class has batted an eye at the fact that the asses in this room look like they were expertly morphed to near-comical proportions. After all, what else is new? So I took a different strategy and laid a trap.

The donk on my 6’4” frame (Hmm…) was a sight to behold. All muscle with a healthy layer of padding ballooning out from my otherwise lithe form. It was leaps and bounds my best feature, had been for as long as I could remember. I was used to men staring dumbfounded in public as my cheeks swished back and forth, including my own students whenever I turned to the blackboard, pushing it out ever so slightly as I leaned forward to write, the globes of my ass encased in one of many perfectly tailored pairs of tweed slacks. I didn’t have much of a choice in the matter, seeing as any pants off the rack would either be way to loose in the waist or way too tight in the glutes, risking catastrophic failure. So I got my pants carefully fitted, but the thing was, so did everyone else. All the men in the class, from muscle butts to perky, round ones, to jiggly booties and wide hips, always had expertly fitted pants without fail. So we know what the focus of the shifts was, but it seemed like it was an expert reworking of time, and with that, memory. The phenomenon of unusually juicy asses in class pinged on my paranormal radar, but mine had always been this way. Right?

The thing is, the fit of everyone’s pants wasn’t just good, it was too good. Perfect, even. Yes, I had memories of having all my slacks tailored but they fit like they had been hand sewn on a lifelike model of my bulbous glutes with millimeter scale precision, not too little and not too much. So I found a pair that I didn’t much care for and took a razor to the back seam to weaken it just so. I squeezed into my form fitting pants and made my way to campus, careful not to stress the stitches too much and too fast, waddling into the room early and looking forward to this ordeal being over. Before anyone showed up, I cast a spell of detection around the space. Not detection of magical activities, which would’ve risked tripping any alarms that my possible warper may have already had in place, not to mention the possibility of interfering chaotically with their own spell whose function I was still unsure of. It was more of an emotional and energetic heat map, tipping me off to any sudden shifts in people’s auras.

Class began like normal as I offered some further thoughts inspired by the previous week’s discussion of AI programs as a potential tool of revealing and visualizing temporal anomalies. The discipline, in order to stay relevant, had been getting into the implications of digital technologies and new media for magical phenomena, so I figured we should spend a little more time on the topic. Also I was genuinely interested in hearing people’s thoughts, albeit distracted by the ticking time bomb of my basketball buns putting catastrophic pressure on my pants as I sometimes too excitedly paced across the front of the room. 

Per usual, I could feel the crescendo of strange, unfamiliar power rubbing almost playfully along the barrier between worlds, but everyone’s auras seemed fine. There was no corresponding wave of connected energy from any one person, beyond the general simmer of erotic activation (i.e. horniness) that spiked every time I turned my back to the class. I had become familiar with the exact threshold that this power would hit before it seemingly reset everything to a new, slightly more enhanced normal, and I was counting on the regularity of that threshold with the timing of this next move.

The previous, and now continuing discussion of new media had led me to realize that the enhanced asses in the room really did look like expertly done morphs and the perfect fit of every pair of pants, no matter the material, was simply improbable. Whoever this was, whatever this was, was operating along the edges of possibility, letting fantasy seep into what we generally regard as the real (or what we think is the real). So I figured, why not use one of my favorite tropes and see what happens.

My tweed slacks were impeccable but not indestructible and as the energetic threshold was reached I just happened to drop my chalk, quickly bending down to retrieve it. The spike in erotic attention from the view of my ballooning backside paled in comparison to what followed, as the seam of my pants finally gave way, my cheeks spilling into view along with a pair of pink and purple polka dotted bikini briefs that did nothing to cover the shelf of my ass.

I played it off with my expert acting skills (this wasn’t the first time I had to feign surprise from some magical mishap), performing a practiced mixture of embarrassment and humor that I assumed the reality-shifter would expect. From the men in class was a mix of nodding in understanding and whispers of It’s even bigger than I thought and How did those pants even fit. I felt a wave of erotic energy move through the room, but there was a spike of something else in the back corner. Something sharper, a tendril of fantastical power peeking into our dimension, concentrated around Logan, who I found staring directly at me with a look of surprise and mild confusion.

I knew of Logan, he was an archivist based in the college’s paranormal artifacts collection, and I think he had signed up for my class as a refresher for methods and safety when investigating and collecting potentially powerful and chaotic objects. He was skinny all around, topping out at no more than 5’7”, his thick, hexagonal rimmed glasses sitting below a mop of bouncy curls with an undercut. He usually came in wearing a pair of loose, flowy drop crotch pants, a surprisingly bohemian look with his otherwise reserved demeanor and sensible button downs. He was demur and unassuming, not seeming like the kind of person to cause this kind of trouble. But at this point he was the only dude in class that didn’t have an absolute dump truck.

The following week, I wondered why I had even hatched that plan in the first place, seeing as I always wear a skirt over tasteful leggings. I had given up on wearing pants years ago because it was just too much of a hassle, opting instead to let the globes of my ass bounce back and forth with more freeform bottomwear. Slacks were constricting enough in the back, but I was also tired of my donkey dick being suffocated in the crotch. A blessing and a curse. It looked like a couple of the guys in class had followed suit, perched on their round glutes as they let some thick bulges snake down leggings or compression shorts.

No wonder those pants ripped, I thought. I probably haven’t worn those in–

Ah ha. Another bread crumb. And an added wrinkle. Time hadn’t been totally rewritten and my memory hadn’t been totally wiped, just altered in the most efficient way in that moment. In fact, I was still mentally very much on the case and making progress. It wasn’t the sort of loose thread that a reality warper this competent would leave, and by now they must realize that I of all people would be on to them. I began to surmise that Logan wasn’t the one pulling the strings, but was actually some sort of conduit. Maybe for a bored trickster god playing an erotic prank–which, frankly, happens much more often than you’d think.

That week, through irony or serendipity, we actually were discussing strategies for navigating the psychological and emotional games that tricksters love to play, but as the supernatural energy began building on schedule, that previous playfulness had hints of… irritation? The power was a little discordant and I could feel it somatically in a way that I hadn’t before; it seemed everyone else could too. We continued on like normal as my leggings felt fuller and tighter in the glutes, my shoes feeling uncomfortably snug as more of my ankles revealed themselves, my dick inexorably snaking its way towards my hip while staying totally soft.

This was new.  And potentially a game changer. But I, along with my students, followed the central mantra of my profession: Note it. Track it. But until you have a plan in place, just ignore it.