#men? i feel like im going insane bc i know SO WELL what to do i just feel like im ruining my chance for a nice calm stressfree life just to

[balkanradfem]

Just watched The Substance and I honest to god can't believe this is considered a 'feminist' movie. Read your analysis and completely agrree. My male co-workers were actually gushing over this movie, they couldnt believe how many times they got to see the main actresses naked and posing sexually for them. If you made a movie for men to masturbate too you've absolutely failed in having a 'feminist' message.

And Sue literally being how incel men picture Hot Girls - getting everything she wants without doing anything, rich and vain, having sex whenever, posing sexually every morning and staring at herself constantly, while having no real personality. Its how a porn-addicted man wishes he could live, not any womens reality. She barely even has any lines in the movie.

Not to mention having Demi Moore be the 'old women' despite having obvious work done and looking nothing like a regular older women. Its like the movie itself was too afraid to actually show a realistically aged women, and when she does start getting gray hair and looking older suddenly shes acting cartoonishly bitter and slobbish. Im so sick of movies having women make disgusting looking food and a huge mess and it all being shown as gross and depressing. Portraying food and eating as disgusting and pigging out when women make it (for themselves, if theyre cooking for a man or kids suddenly its different) is just feeding into misogynistic beliefs, not subverting them.

And the classic, portraying sexist men as very goofy and dumb so they don't offend the male viewers by having an actual relatable man that acts just like them being criticised by the movie for his sexism. Also the whole point where the movie basically acts like if she'd just been able to go on that date with the random guy from school, she wouldve been fine. bc having a boyfriend and a man that says youre the most beautiful is all that a woman needs i guess.

Anyway I absolutely hated this movie. From a horror perspective it did some things very well, but the message was just foul to me. Not to mention the fact that men are now trying to give Margaret Qualley the Sydney Sweeney treatment, bc they got to see her naked, hyper-sexualized, and acting like a little girl infront of powerful men. This movie was the antithesis of what everyone is saying it is imo.

Yes, I remember feeling similar to this when I first watched it. So much of it was catering to the male gaze, so much of it I had to skip because it was pornographic material, the outrage at the woman who looked so young and socially attractive to be presented as 'too-old-looking', I didn't even consider how different she looked to the reality of female aging, I didn't know that much about her. I did think she looked young though!

And you described perfectly my own thoughts about the food! It was presented to us as if it was disgusting, it made me feel insane, it was food! I've never seen any food presented in such a way. I understood later that this part was meant to resonate with women who did see food in this way because of an eating disorder, and to them this looked very normal to how they feel about food, even though this seems terrifying to me, I can't even think about it that way.

You are so right that it's never portrayed like this when a woman is cooking for a family! I didn't even think of that. If she's making meals for others, then it's portrayed as extremely positive, if she's cooking for herself, horrible.

I actually didn't even see the missed date thing as her 'opportunity to be fixed', but you're right! They did depict that male as her last chance to make a human connection and to feel like a human again, as if a single male could resolve this insane amount of struggle she was in.

My conclusion is exactly the same as yours, it is not doing anything it's claiming to do, extremely disappointing as a feminist movie, so much catering to male gaze and awful and horrifying depiction of what women's lives are like.

[potvisch]

Broke up with my boyfriend last night bc i realized i was a lesbian but i have so much trouble letting go of the life we built together in the last years bc i felt like i was living my best life with my best friend and now its gone.

[nextstopparis]

i really just need good like mid to long length fix recs please i’m begging

hey bestie, i didnt know if you had any specific type of fic in mind or just length and what u consider mid so here are a few fics with 25k+ word counts and thats basically all they have in common🫶 also these are all more or less merthur im so sorry. i hope u find something new here!!!

Arthur, Sincerely by MerlinLikeTheBird (47.8k) (THE FLUFF IN THIS MADE ME CRY also its canon era)

To Begin Anew (need ao3 acc) by ohHeyThereBigBadWolf (27.7k) (ive read this like five times. i think about it constantly. canon divergence)

that lightning-strike feel by TheLurkingContessa (32.5k) (cmon merthur training with weapons together??? also canon era)

An Illusion of Sorts by lordvoldemortsnipple (133.7k) (ive also read this like 3 times which is sorta insane bc its 100k+ words omfg… modern au w magic)

Annum Inanis (The Empty Year) (need ao3 acc) by anonymintea (43.2k) (i DIED. canon era)

Charting Stars On A Stained Glass Ceiling by mornmeril (80k) (my note on ao3 under this is just OHMYGOD a bunch of times so. future au with magic)

a thimble of light for an acre of sky by celaenos (36.2k) (THIS IS NOT MERTHUR well theres like a hint of merthur at the very end but mostly its pendragon siblings and morgwen. I DIED. canon divergence)

Chasing Spring (ok TECHNICALLY this is a series but overall its 58.7k words so) by Gimli_s_Pickaxe (god merlin au do i really need to say anything else. canon era)

Keep the Magic Secret (73.5k) (i feel like i cant say I DIED again or else it’ll start losing its meaning to you but really i did. canon era)

M-RYS by mornmeril (123.2k) (ive also read this three times and was actually just craving a reread yesterday so. hmm. future au with magic)

We Pull These Jobs To Make A Little Money (No One Gets Hurt If They Don’t Act Funny) by leashy_bebes (48.9k) (this fic left me speechless all i could muster in my ao3 notes was “oh my god” not even capitalized like it shook me to my core. modern au)

You’ve Got My Heart, I’ve Got Your Hand by FervidAsAFlame (29.3k) (ive read this about five times it makrs me cry its so sweet i Love Them. modern au)

The Tournament of All Magicks by Cori Lannam (corilannam) (41.3k) (CMONNNN merlin fighting in a TOURNAMENT??? cmon. ohh craving a reread for this one too now… canon era)

The Future Soon by lady_ragnell (30.2k) (i loved this fic so so much. like theres just something about the vibe of it that im obsessed with. could also be the enemies to lovers thing. modern au with magic)

Sweeter Dreams by Tierfal (35.3k) (FREED VIVIAN OF MEN! i mean what more could i want. canon divergence)

Truth Is a Whisper by seperis (25k) (im being so serious go read everything by seperis. everything. GO. FIRST TINTAGEL bc that is my fav fic of all time probably but its 20k words so i couldnt put it here. GO!! theyre my fav author it took EVERYTHING not to rec all their fics. canon divergence)

Accidental Memory in the Case of Death by derryere (74.9k) (theres just something so. So. I DONT KNOW. overwhelming about them in this. its reincarnation au which might be why. one line made me cry)

The Ivy Crown by dayari (derryday) (252.2k) (ive read this three times. look at the word count. i will probably read it again. green knight au thing. theyre just. ohmygod)

Dower the Stars by RurouniHime (40.6k) (LISTEN. actually idek what i can say about this. except for the fact that its the PERFECT FIC. literally. its perfect. im especially in love with arthur and gwens friendship in this but anyway. canon divergence.)

[toram-toram]

The sneak peek of your fic…I fell to my knees

His tallman form just suits the pervy middle-aged man look SO WELL (regular chilchuck doesn’t look sleazy enough imo)

He’s so mean to you, but he’s secretly fantasizing about doing all sorts of nasty shit to you & doesn’t know how to deal with it, so he takes it out on you

Oh my god the panty sniffing - do you think he steals them too??

pls ignore me if the question makes you uncomfortable! I just have a lot of chucklefuck thoughts >.<

COLLAB WITH ANON<3 NSFW

PERVER TALL MAN CHILCHUCK X FEM READER

HIHIHI IM HAPPY TO HAVE SOMEONE TO TALK TO ABOUT THISSS

Tall Man Chilchuck is definitely one of those men who spends his free time drinking beer while watching whatever show is on the tv. And almost every night before bed he watches some porn to jerk off to.

And omg if he has a crush on you... he would 100% act like an old jerk 😭 I feel like he would also tease and poke you a lot bc that's the only physical contact he dares to do. He might be middle-aged but his emotional skills are on the same level as a 15 year old...

But YEEES he's so emotionally constipated he doesn't know how to act around you!! Sometimes he's a jerk, sometimes he's super sweet, friendly and playful and sometimes he's super cold AND IT DRIVES YOU INSANE!! WHAT'S WITH THESE MIXED SIGNALS??

I bet that every time after a hangout, Chilchuck just lies in bed thinking back about things he said to you and cringe a lot lol "Ugh wtf did I say that? What a loser" or something like that.

He would be so frustrated over his actions but specifically, over YOUR actions!! How dare you look so pretty? How dare you sit next to him, he always gets dizzy over your smell and the proximity. How dare you dress that way? Like... super sexy and cute ugh c'mon.

And then he notices he's blushing super hard and touching his crotch over his pants... The only solution? Open p*rnhub and search videos of someone with the same features as yours. After that, go to sleep with a heavy conscience.

About the stealing panties... He would heavily consider it... But I think he would stop himself before he reaches it lol, he would probably think about his daughters, especially if you are younger than him, he would feel absolutely disgusted. But omg Imagine if you forget something in his house after a hangout at his place, like a sweater or something... He would definitely be smelling and touching himself to it. After all, you sent him a message asking for him to return it to you, so he might as well enjoy it while he has it...

Anyway... I spoke too much lol but I'm suuuuper normal about him...

[merakiui]

mera!!!! Im thinking abt first time bf riddle who is a cute tsun but its bc u give him such cuteness agression and he's lowkey a prude but repressed horny and wants u so bad but he doesnt know how to initiate things, maybe he even plans for u two to lose ur virginity to each other, so romantic, but he has no idea you and stepbro trey already popped eachothers cherries years ago and have been fucking sinc e >_<

OTL on one hand I am devastated for Riddle because he’s just starting to dip his feet into sexual situations with you and he’s becoming more comfortable with PDA, but omg you’ll destroy his world if he ever finds out you’ve been fucking your step-brother this entire time. :( on the other hand, I am cheering for Trey because AAAAAAAA he’s so normal, so sweet and sane, and so you wouldn’t expect him to do such a thing. He can hide it well because no one ever thinks to question it. He just gives off such sweet big brother energy, even if the two of you are only a few months apart in age.

It started when you were kids, entirely innocent. Holding hands on the way to school. Sharing snacks. Sleeping in the same bed. Playing together. Trey has always loved his siblings. He’s the best brother anyone could ever ask for! He’s always looking out for you, always putting a smile on your face, always making sure you’re happy and content.

But then his hands are still pursuing yours even when he seems too old for that stuff. He could get away with kissing you on the cheek when he was little because everyone found it utterly adorable and affectionate in a platonic way—and it was! But when everyone in his class was gossiping over men and women in risqué magazines all he could think about was you, his lovely step-sibling who walks home with him every day, who helps his mother and father in the bakery, who agrees to take baths with him even if both of you are at that age where you’re going through puberty and so it’s “weird” to be that close with your sibling.

For a while, it’s all experimental. First kisses are practiced sloppily. You and Trey sit on your bed and watch porn to try to better replicate the movements. It’s so awkward, but he’s painfully hard the entire time and before hands can wander any further you’re shoving him away, too embarrassed and shy to try anything else. He’s left to deal with his erection in the silence of his room, consumed with thoughts of you. On the surface, no one would ever know Trey lusts after you so ferociously, but then no one really knows Trey. They don’t know him like you do.

Family gatherings are dangerous because when it’s so busy in the house you and Trey lock yourselves in the bathroom or hide in the closet to practice kissing and touching. It’s so you’ll be ready for your first relationship—that’s what both of you claim. But you’ve kissed so much that at this point the excuse falls horribly flat, and neither of you really believes it.

When you both reached adult age, rather than rebelling and drinking like some of the people in your class often did, you and Trey have sex. It’s nothing exciting. If anything, it’s more wandering hands than actual bodily connection. Trey’s fingers curl up inside of you, and you dig your nails into his forearm and hiss at him to go deeper, harder, faster. Trey loves you too much, so he does everything you ask. You weren’t intending to go all the way, but “just the tip” gives way to Trey slotting himself all the way inside, every inch swallowed up in your tight hole. <3 and he doesn’t mean to cum so early, but in just a few thrusts he’s spilling over because god you feel so good and you’re squeezing him so ruthlessly and you’re a crying, moaning mess and the way you wrap your legs around his waist to pull him closer drives him insane… his name is so sweet on your lips. He wants to hear it forever.

You and Trey have always been close, but no one knows just how close that truly is. So when you’re giving Riddle head for the first time and he notes your technique is too skilled (or maybe he’s just so sensitive), you have years of experience under your belt to guide you because you’ve sucked your step-brother’s cock too many times in the past. And even now, when you kiss Riddle and leave him breathless and yearning, those same lips find Trey’s once you return home from your date and he fucks you against the door, the wall, on the floor, like a starved animal. You really do love Riddle, but then you love your step-brother just a little more and that’s a bond that can never be broken. <3

[akkivee]

Vee im thinking about how the hypmics are popular and its making me giggle so hard like...... What ??? Its so funny to me i know they are like technically idols but also yeah lemme pull up with some merch of Yokohamas Most Dangerous Men. Let me just ask a Doctor with a Busy Schedule to Pose for some Photo Cards. Like imagine going outside and seeing your teacher on a billboard sex baiting like LMAOAOAOAO (yes im talking about that one set of official art they made... Why were they shirtless...) its so ....!?!??!?!? Insane to me i actually giggled when i watched rhyme anima and saw that ramuda had bb merch. It feels like they are supposed to be living normal lives like nobody gaf about them i know thats wrong but seriously come on

i think part of it is that the boys don’t like the drbs so they don’t capitalise on it lol. like they get to do cool stuff like the freestyle gladiator thing with the mixed up divisions, the curry battle, and lowkey being used to push political agendas bc they do have fame being drb participants but i doubt they want to give chuuoku even more power over them than they already do

and some of it might also be chuuoku not wanting to give them much more power and sway as well. like hifumi and jakurai actually talked about this in the wake of their win lol but chuuoku regulates what they can and can’t do as division champs (in a stifling piece of worldbuilding i understand why it exists but that sucks ass bro lol) chuuoku doesn’t want a repeat tdd situation where they could potentially rouse the nation into arms

and now i might be talking out of my ass here lol but i also think the citizens of chuuoku japan just respect them lol. they were selected by chuuoku to fight and nobody outside chuuoku’s walls seem to really like their government lol. they are regular ass people lol that is your overworked drb champion salaryman dissociating on a bench in the park, that is your 2nd drb champ homeless person sleeping with a newspaper as a blanket on the street but it’s not like they chose to be drb participants so they might also be really aware of that lol

[youremyheaven]

this might be a kinda niche observation but i have noticed women who are venusian plus saturnian are Not very nice 😭 i know two women who's entire chart is basically 50/50 venusian naks and saturn naks and one thing i've noticed they both do is try to remix traditional gender roles into some sort of female empowerment thing

for example, one of them is constantly going on dates with older rich men which by itself is like fine whatever but she tries to act like she's this genius feminist for doing it. like no babe.... you're still conforming to gender roles by essentially selling yourself to rich men to eventually become their spoiled housewife, if anything she's putting a capitalistic spin on it. i think this is because of the saturnian urge to conform to traditions meshing with the venusian urge to date lots and surround yourself with money and beauty

the second girl is obsessed with traditional beauty standards for im assuming the same reason. she literally often says things like "i love entering a room and knowing i'm the prettiest one there" and "walking down the street watching people gawk because i'm the most beautiful one here". it's so cringe and low vibrational, not to mention misogynistic yet just like the other girl she tries to put a feminist spin on it. she has a whole twitter account dedicated to unlocking your "divine feminine", which is a real thing but she does it in such an incorrect way like telling people what plastic surgery they need to be "perfect" and of course, how to attract a rich man. it's a combo of venusian vanity and saturnian rule following (the beauty standards being the rules)

also, they both HATE eachother 😭

that sounds about right ngl

I feel like Venusian women who are not drawn to the arts and are somehow unable to channel their creativity make it their sole purpose in life to pursue romance and 😬it kind of messes them up?? My grandma is Purvaphalguni Moon and she was a very talented singer back in the day and wanted to study Music in college but her family was against it and made her study to be a teacher and then she ended up marrying my grandad and also cheating on him and ngl it ruined her life,,, anywayyss I feel like Venusians were meant to pursue all of the themes of Venus, ESPECIALLY its creativity because art will fulfil you in ways no man or relationship can and in the absence of it, all this excessive materialistic pursuit of relationships brings out the corrosiveness of Venus.

Venus is capable of immense devotional spirituality, its not a shallow planet or influence by any means but to get to the spirituality (of any planet tbh) one has to transcend its more superficial material manifestations. I think Venusian fixation on romance, relationships etc can be very damning. I know a Purvaphalguni Moon girl who cannot be single for even a second and she said she can't get married because she will cheat on him 😭

I know several Venusians who are like you mentioned but damn that Venus and Saturn combination you talked about is lethal,, they can lead themselves to such a shallow hollow and empty life. Ngl I feel like all those "dating coaches" online who talk about "10 ways to marry a rich man" are all Venusian/Saturnian women and sorry to break it but I promise it never works out. If a man knows that you're with him for his money, I promise you no amount of money he throws at you will be worth the mind games and psychological abuse that will ensue.

I have a friend, Bharani stellium who is from a well to do family but she dreams of marrying someone filthy rich and being a housewife. She's also Saturnian lmao but I feel like her idealized visions of being someone's trophy wife will lead to some bitter experiences. Bc first of all Indian men are trash, second of all, rich people are trash and a rich Indian man and his family are probably capable of god knows what insanity. I think about that video of Shah Rukh Khan, aka the biggest actor the country has ever seen at Isha Ambani's (billionaire's daughter) twins birthday party where they'd brought out snakes??? (rich ppl things bc who tf would bring snakes to a toddler's bday party??) and Isha's brother picks up a snake and puts it on SRK's shoulder from behind, catching him off guard. Like ik its obviously not poisonous but like ??? thats so rude??? imagine just putting a snake on someone without their consent??? its that asshole's entitlement that makes him believe he can get away with anything. any video of the Ambani kids is a testament to them being rich assholes but anyways point is, rich people are fucked up and its insane to me that women want to sign away their autonomy by marrying into these families??? like are they dumb??? how naive do you have to be to believe that they'll be rich AND nice to you?? lol?? and you cannot raise a finger against them bc money will silence everyone, even the courts. look at what happened to amber heard and what's happening to angelina jolie. these are powerful, influential women, not housewives to rich douchebags but even then, they suffer. now what would happen to a regular woman???

anybody who dreams of being a trophy wife feels absolutely delusional to me. its so important to maintain your independence. like by all means i want to marry rich but i dont ever want to be in a position where im financially dependent on a man. THATS DANGEROUS. quite literally.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 2/27/2024

this is the longest ive ever been unemployed and media is only doing so much to beat back the horrors. so let’s talk about the media instead of the horrors

listening

Come Up For Air by We The Commas, off i think one of the autogenerated spotify indie mixes?

sort of a rollicking modern little surf rock thing, they describe themselves as "surf and alternate rhythm and blue" which is pretty bang on imo. they're all brothers (their last name genuinely is Comma, which i salute as a fellow weird last name haver), and cite john mayer (i don't really hear it) and the beach boys (yes i hear this very much) as some of their influences. a song i had on loop for an entire forty minute drive and did not get tired of. spotify

-

reading

three books that MUST go back to the library tomorrow bc their autorenew is up and i was emotionally unable to get a library card without tooling around and getting a stack of books a month ago.

thank you philip.

i really only liked the Carmilla adaptation by Amy Chu, bc it really gets at what i didn't realize was the heart of the original 1872 lesbian vampire novella: a toxic gay housing situation you have fallen into and can't get out of bc your area is so so so expensive and housing is so so so tenuous. i have read the original but not in a while, this is an excellent modern adaptation centering around a nyc social worker in the late seventies that presupposes no knowledge and intertwines the original novella in the form of a stolen rare book. (nonconsecutive pages)

i don't have much to say about the DC young adult comic about the circus career of one of the Robins (Dick Grayson). i didn't love the loose artstyle and am not in its intended age range plus it had a bit too much therapyspeak, but it did have a clever use of a very limited color palette.

let's yank the amazon description for the detective novel, which i grabbed bc it vaguely pinged something in my brain about one of the fallout 4 sidequests and i've picked books up for worse reasons (SPOILERS):

Jacob Rigolet, a soon-to-be former assistant to a wealthy art collector, looks up from his seat at an auction—his mother, former head librarian at the Halifax Free Library, is walking almost casually up the aisle. Before a stunned audience, she flings an open jar of black ink at master photographer Robert Capa’s “Death on a Leipzig Balcony.” Jacob’s police detective fiancée, Martha Crauchet, is assigned to the ensuing interrogation. 

i simply fucking hated this authorial style and tone and ditched it two chapters in. i don’t currently have the patience for reading about a clinically insane mother and hate crimes against Jewish people. despite the fairly dark premise, the first two chapters veer into cozy mystery with very short sentences, which do not a noir make. now, it does not advertise itself as noir or neo-noir, but as an homage to noir. it is for me unbearably smug. in my most unkind heart of hearts i want to say it's like if wes anderson tried to make a noir. this is a book that wants you to know it has read other noirs. yes thank you ive read several others, that’s why im reading this one, stop reminding me of better books i could be reading.

there's some weird descriptions of womens' bodies in here. chandler (my beloved) is certainly guilty of this as well, but he lavishes a sort of equal opportunity eye on the men in his mysteries. cf the infamous daniel lavery description.

when i read a chandler description of someone’s physical appearance there’s a fruity bisexual aftertaste in my mouth. Howard Norman, below, saying a woman takes great care of herself puts my hackles up. i understand the difference between an author and a character believing something and i don’t want to read a book where either the author or the character have this sort of pitying condescension towards a woman’s body. im feeling extremely terrible about my own body right now due to the various maladies, and another sort of breaking point for me is when an author repeatedly describes "naked breasts" (exact wording) pressing against someone's torso. it feels so juvenile. that's the sexiest thing you can possibly think of??? that's the sexiest way you can think of to describe an early mornign moment of intimacy???? augh i read the NYT review and it gets worse.

shut the FUCK up. i left my apartment at 1130 PM to go put this book in my CAR. i don't want it in my HOUSE.

-

watching

Bullitt (1968, dir. Yates, free on Tubi). the baddie in this is Robert Vaughn (who i know from cowboys), a guy i fucking love to see. i can take or leave Steve McQueen but he does such a killer job parallel parking in this movie and i wish all driving movies made their leads parallel park. shockingly realistic hospital, morgue, and police work scenes, apparently was one of the big films to popularize blood squibs. also love to see a haunted man splash water on his face and stare into a mirror.

if you asked me how long the famous car chase was i would have said like 2:30? substantial but snappy. no!!! eleven minutes!! (video a bit trimmed). also a rare movie that makes a foot chase through an airport as exciting as that eleven minute car chase!!!

the mob dodging plot was a little hard to follow, but i was operating on like four hours of sleep and a rum and coke. this has got to be a tremendous movie to watch when you’re home and sick on the couch huddled under a blanket. i mean this as a compliment, as someone who watches Escape from New York whenever i feel very sick

-

playing

really wanted to get to 69 shrines before writing this post and finally did it. all the little divine beasts walking along the loading screen are SO cute i've never gotten all four before

all the divine beasts are unlocked and the champions laid to rest! im feeling some type of way emotionally speaking about all of them telling link IMMEDIATELY that it wasn't his or zelda's fault they died

rudania has the worst boarding mission (in order of ones i most enjoyed it's camel [SO fast and SO fun], bird [lots of time to think and plan and aim], elephant [did not make me do a tedious stealth mission but i am bad at locking on to rapidly moving things behind me, much like in real life], and lizard. the lizard stealth mission is simply unpleasant). however, my brain really clicked with the puzzles in rudania: i had to consult a walkthrough once for an optional chest. in order of interior beast puzzle enjoyment for me it's lizard, bird, elephant, and camel. really got stuck for a long time on the waterwheels with the elephant before consulting a walkthrough.

the yiga clan stealth mission was not as hard as i thought it would be. i don't know why i put that off for two real life weeks but i will not learn my lesson and i will never improve. this boss battle was just silly.

the vah naboris interior puzzles were not fun. idk what it was about them or my brain that made me have such a bad time, but i spammed revali's gale and skipped a lot of chests bc i was not having fun. this is why god invented the walkthrough but sometimes. shit is just too fiddly.

i did succeed on the thunder ganon boss battle first try, but i came in with extra hearts from mipha's grace, used another mipha's grace in the fight, went through five fairies and seven hearty simmered fruits that were 5x durians (which gives you 20 extra hearts or some shit). fucking nightmare. i was stuck on one hit left on ganon for like five minutes bc he got stuck in the very fast flurry attack cycle. unpleasant. deeply grateful it only made me smack him with the magnesis pillar once bc that was also really fiddly with my poor reaction time + poor fine motor skills + previously mentioned ancient controller with some drift. in order of boss battle enjoyment i think it's lizard (made me think and kept me on my toes a little but i did have to look up how to break the shield), elephant (you can just kind of tank it), bird (same), and camel (extremely not fun).

this was WITH a fully upgraded gimp suit btw. that shit (ganon) just hits hard.

shrine shenanigans:

crowned beast very fun, i have one or two of kass' songs left and then i hope i get to see him back in rito village with his family??? a little nervous bc i went right to the jungle spring without hearing his song first so idk if that will. count??? or softlock me.

the MOUNDS of failed cooking attempts around this shrine on the grasslands side of the gerudo barrier mountains were SO funny.

unlocked all the spring shrines. what a fun mission. what a fun climb.

went to my FAVORITE shrine!!! going into what you think will be a normal cave and discovering it is DEEP with a BIG WHALE INSIDE is top three video game whale moments (the other two are diving with the whales in ABZU and meeting the last whale in the first dishonored).

other bits and bobs:

eggman rocks???

this quest was really cute and i wish there was a corresponding quest for the guy hanging around the broken heart pond, but it always makes me laugh whenever a dragon shows up in the background of a screenshot. a really great touching moment but watch out for the elemental orbs rapidly approaching us

also made me chortle. get it together barta.

i wish the helm was upgradable but i think making me kill a molduga in order to borrow it is a pretty fair trade actually.

-

making

i originally had a really long thing here about litterbox trials and tribulations but i have decided to spare you all. you're welcome.

many balcony improvements, including putting up trellises and installing bird spikes to hopefully keep a very persistent orange tom off my balcony and away from my girls.

there are a goofy number of obstacles in the way of me making a proper planting diagram (sketchbooks buried deep in closet. flung the seeds in a box on a shelf i need to find my stepstool for. can't find pencil sharpener) so for the second week in a row that's not happening. however, sprouts.

baby italian lettuce blend

bush beans in the front and cucumbers + sweet peas in the back.

[crabs-brencil]

ugh the second pacific rim makes me so sad because like. it's this insane amalgamation of what could've been, and im sure other people have said this before but whatever i just rewatched it and im in my feels rn so buckle up ig.

firstly - acghfshg they literally got rid of all of silly little things that made the first pacific rim *pacific rim*, except for the like two occasions when they didn't. like. soundtrack?? where did it go?? there was one (1) scene that had any sort of soundtrack usage the way the first movie did it, and it was a callback scene to the first movie. and the first pacrim was rife with ridiculous action-hero quips (think raleigh's bro saying "let's turn up the heat" in the middle of a fight) which pacrim 2 did try to do but it was so painfully a product of it's time bc dear god does it take itself way too seriously for any of the quips to land. not saying that john boyega didn't have his moments but like. they were the type of moments you'd find in any movie produced in that time.

secondly - charlie day and burn gorman put their whole actussies into that performance -- because goddamnit pacrim 2 was supposed to be an ode to hermann and newt's relationship -- only to get shafted at the last hour. like seriously their arc in pacrim 2 is so fucking heartbreaking, the two of them going from being so in tune with one another as they were at the end of pacrim 1 to drifting so far apart over ten years. and you can tell that they don't really want to believe that they don't really know each other anymore either, because like come *on* the sheer apprehensive hope on hermann's face when he first comes up to newt, and the way his face just *falls* when he asks "you won't help me?", and newt letting himself get dragged away and letting hermann go on even though he's clearly in a rush. and the way the both of them try to ignore how they've both changed over the past decade, because they have changed out of sync, and changed away from each other, and they both remind the other of what it used to be like, but it doesn't feel the same anymore because it isn't the same and just. ugh. that proverb about men and rivers. and like you can tell that what's left of newt is like. punching the prison walls of his brain, because of the sheer regret in his face when he has to hurt hermann, or the way he tries to avoid shit talking hermann when his boss clearly expects it of him. and obviously hermann having to see his friend disappear like that. going from hugging him outside the elevator because it was finally like the good old days again and they were on the same side and they would fight the bad guys and save the world again, to finding out that the person the world needed saving from was newt. and all that just to end the way it did. the both of them are entirely forgotten after hermann checks over the rocket plan and newt gets punched out.

and like obviously they were vying for a third movie because the set up for a newmann flavored reunion was literally right there, but like asfhjdg.

thirdly - mako's death??? that could've really been something, they could've used it to have like an actual lambert/jake moment, where they actually get to reconcile, but it might as well not have happened what with how the movie actually went about it.

bleh. im sure there's more to be said that im just forgetting about but whatever, it's way too late for me to care, and if any of the stuff ive said has been addressed in like interviews or smth, i wouldn't know about it as ive only seen the movies themselves and i don't particularly care to hunt down such footage.

anyways thanks for reading, if you've got this far you're a real one <3

[hoochiworld]

𝐁𝐈𝐆𝟑 ����𝐇𝐀𝐓. 💭

i rlly like horoscopes and astrology but im not a big nerd abt it. if it comes up in convo bitch i can go on for yearsssss. when most ppl meet me they assume im a leo? i can see exactly why i am one cocky ass bitch & i definitely b lying sometimes but im actually far from it lol. my pluto is actually the only fire sign i have in my chart and i don’t even think that it really counts. some may say it does meh. i feel like these pics match the vibe of me and my traits.

SUN IN CAPRICORN 𖤓

i love being a capricorn. i heard being a capricorn is rare somewhere or maybe the streets were lying but imma run with it. idc. i was born on december 28th which is why im such a cold ass btch. srsly. not for fake. everytime i mention being a capricorn why do ppl start acting funny? what the fuck do that be bout??? nah jk. i know exactly what that be bout bc some capricorns (cough cough u january hoes but ion wanna fight ) be a lil off just a tad bit. but i know exactly what it is bc i b having my evil capricorn ways too! we just can’t help it we’re literally antiheroes. i got the usual capricorn traits, yes im always working, yes i swear i know everything, yes im materialistic as fuck! and yes im a real ass btch 1st and yes im a serial dater.

ASCENDANT IN VIRGO ↑

omg. my whole life virgos have always loved me! i never knew why either, i actually get along really well with earth signs. ( my bestie is a taurus, so is my mom i could go on. ) your rising can be described as the the way people perceive you and your perception of the way the world around you should be. now, if that means people perceive me as a sneaky ass bitch that wants the world to be perfect…i wouldn’t be mad??? idk. cause i can see it yea. makes sense. nods head. someone on here made a post that i see about how virgo rising tend to have cat-like or foxy features. gonna link it when i find it but moral of the story is i see it. personality wise i love all my virgo homegirls and i see the similarities btwn us. i have never personally been on the bad side of a virgo but i’ve seen it. that shit is bad. i be tweaking out like that and this whole time i’ve been thinking it’s my cap sun…but it’s the goddamn virgo…. 😣

side note: the past few years i’ve been noticing that all i’ve been attracting are earth sign men? wtf is that about. i hate it. but i…kinda…likeitalittlebit

MOON IN GEMINI ☾

man i almost put my finger down my throat when i found out i was apart of such a community. air signs are weird to me (except libras, yall r safe. stupid but hot) they throw me to the left idk why but goddamn they are so fcking funnn!!!! insane ppl but very great to party with. i can see that in me i guess. being a gemini moon made sense for me considering that your moon typically controls your mind? whoaaa. nah but fr to me it feels like how i am subconsciously and you can’t tell me it’s not twins in my head!!! sometimes they tell me to do bad things, sometimes they tell me to do good things, sometimes i listen and sometimes i don’t! 🙂‍↕️ on some real shit though, i began to understand and notice my traits here especially with how chatty i am. i love to be the star of the room man it is what it is. but at times i can be a bit two-sided but thats just bc i feel like a sexy emo hoodrat.

VERY HONORABLE MENTIONS

MARS IN PISCES

VENUS AND MERCURY IN CAPRICORN

JUPITER IN CANCER

[blaqueswanzaghouliishiilikeda]

mmm…

i wanna talk about paul. i dont think i lingered too much there. bc it’s a sensitive spot i guess? it’s a sensitive thing to be openly unwell. my focus with this post if i really even have that is his relation with louis. i wanna talk about paul in relation to how louis treats him and that being a reason why i love louis so much too. i love both characters. i think paul doesnt really ever get mentioned in fandom much. which is the psychosis experience tbh. so it tracks.

it’s a public spectacle every one wants so desperately to ignore and to be over. in my personal experience (and i don’t think i’m alone in this) the person going through it wants it to be over too. wants that people don't see them that way. but paul’s whole character is generally ignored other than in conversations about whether or not lestat caused his suicide, which was a compelling conversation. whether or not he did is a incredibly prickly thing in the gut of the story. and to be followed up with Louis staying with Armand after having killed claudia who has a thread with paul too. she has a manic/psychotic moment. she’s a collector. she’s a lot of things that society doesn’t want to see exist. (nor does the fandom but i digress) and the way she lives in this undead world is as if she doesnt exist at all so manny ways (like paul in life too in ways) we’ve spoken of if you are someone who dares to acknowledge the fullness of her character. i said this was about paul but im working through a connection in real time. i think that’s why i wanna talk about paul. bc he carries so much of the story in the little time he was alive. and his death is the catalyst for louis’ initial death. not the one lestat gave him, but the one that made it possible for lestat to convince him in the first place. ( the spiritual one maybe? idk. im just thinking thoughts)

what i never question in regards to paul and louis’ relationship, is that louis loves him. that’s what actually makes that: “did lestat kill him really? and whether or not he did kill him….louis thought he did and stayed?” conversation so insane in the membrane to me. because the way he treated paul shows me he does love him so much. one: something in him died with paul. another thing is that louis genuinely wanted him around. he advocated for him to stay out of the hospital. he took him out as soon as he was given the power to as head of household when his father died. (i have so many questions about his own feelings and opinions on his father.) he openly spent time with him. paul was his favorite person. he let paul crawl into bed with him. which is kind of big deal from what i know in the openly unwell population. not a lot of people want to comfort that. and louis allowing his male brother into bed with him for that tender moment is kind of a key moment for him to me bc of how the pressures of homophobia can affect how men are made to feel they can treat their male family members too. Louis sees him and his need and is willing to give it to him. louis wants to be there for his brother. he decides he’ll be the one to take care of him. tells grace not to worry about paul. he would take care of him. he assures paul he wont see lestat anymore. louis’ love for paul was in the way of lestat’s wants and desires. maybe paul did have suicidal ideation already. maybe many things can be true.

(i meant to post this during disability month, but i went through it and so now i’ll just continue where i left off)

louis struggling with killing a man with a daughter and wanting to go home to his brother…😵‍💫. paul isnt a child, but louis was his caretaker. in paul you see louis shine in that role (barring the bit where he pulls a knife out, and threatens to gut him, bc that was a performance. it’s not great but he didn't even want to do that). louis recognizing that locking away a man for having delusions just because he has them at all made paul worse was such a powerfully impactful thing to me. i say this fully well knowing sometimes going to the hospital can be beneficial these days, but even still being locked up there?? drugged and treated horribly given he was black and in a time when mentally ill people were treated heinously? louis saying he belongs at home and seeing to it that paul gets to be home with his family. spending time with him like he’s a person beyond his disability. beyond his delusions. that shit makes me like quiver and cry tbh. that’s mostly what people going through that need most of all and don’t receive. he loved paul. and when paul dies louis dies. idc. (so if lestat’s did take paul away from louis….he killed him twice….also while i’m here i have stirring thoughts about lestat knowing he could tell paul his truthful intentions in town and that out of paul’s mouth no one would believe him. maybe that’s the whole thought. or maybe i’ll come back to it. idk)

(i think in some ways claudia was also theyre to fill the casm paul created too. sorry none of this is like linear or anything im just thinking i guess. maybe i’ll make get into how i see they’re related later.)

[blazethecheeto]

ATLAS PARADOX RAMBLING

dude this book. i need to talk. about it. im going insane.

everyone who hasn't read it, PLEASE DO!!! it's a dark academia book about a bunch of gay silly magic people that join a society and try to kill each other. there's time travel, a big ass polycule, aesthetic scenes, the prettiest writing style in the world, science, philosophy, and fucked family. (opposite of found family).

(extremely chaotic unorganized long rant below, with spoilers. click at your own risk)

FIRST OF ALL WHY WAS THIS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE FIRST ONE?!!?!?

i had to power through the first one, it felt long, and unnecessary and like trekking through a JUNGLE with the thickest and most intricate ecosystem that i had to peel back and unravel for hours and hours. only to like move the plot by an inch.

BUT THIS. olivie blake found her footing because this was so good. i am aware the reviews hate on this book and some people don't like it, but personally i adore it and it's really well written.

CHARACTERS

bro they all had such wonderful voices, like they were distinct and unique from each other but not drastically, noticeably different I NEED TO LEARN FROM THIS. six of crows and the atlas six do multi povs so well <3 its like this book was made for me, each character was perfect and incredible and gay and silly and-

reina. love of my life. i look forward to all her povs because the plants are so silly and she's the best character. i said it. she's canon asexual now too YEES. i needed more of her because she was barely in the first one, and they DELIVERED. the juicy plot with her 'god complex' (ily callum) and her feelings getting hurt and learning she actually is lonely and wants friends? she's so wanda maximoff. next book better have her opening up and learning to love people or i riot (and also her killing people and being the badass she is)

parisa always my fave too, i do wish her character wasn't always talking about sex or romance, there were some great moments in this book where she showed off her telepathy powers (the prince in the tower!!) it was awesome. i'm glad they acknowledged that side of her with reina, (oh my god i ship them so much wait till i rant about them-) but dude i still HATE DALTON. SO MUCH. OH MY GOD. every time it's her pov i dread seeing dalton, i wish she could give that up. generic white men should die.

CALLUM. whatever turned him from complex, daunting, and a psychopath last book to janus from sanders sides this book- beautiful choice. he's literally the one sassy wine-sipping gay aunt that feels nothing and everything at once, also extremely mentally ill and depressed. he's SO FUNNY. his povs are fucking hilarious to read, and he quickly became one of my faves bc of how complex he is. i'm not smart enough to decipher and psychoanalyze him but god i LOVE CHARACTERS LIKE THIS.

i don't know what happened but nico is literally one of my faves now too, he's so silly and sweet and kind and i loved his relationships with everyone this book. like him trying to murder tristan in multiple different ways oml. he's my bbg. tristan was hit or miss for me, i did find him interesting but he's not my favourite. doesn't mean i hate him, he's so very british, i feel it radiating off the page. libby my queen my icon, her dream povs were so trippy i loved it- so so realistic to a real dream, that was the most surprising and unique part. also my bisexual queen seducing belen??

i did not like ezra and atlas was a little iffy here and there but tbh the cast was so well rounded and interesting and unique but paralleled each other so well?? THE RELATIONSHIPS. I DONT THINK ANY BOOK HAS THIS INTRICATE WEB-LIKE RELATIONSHIPS WITH EACH OTHER. they're one big polycule.

RELATIONSHIPS

nico and libby <3 i love them so much as siblings/queerplatonic partners. i don't ship them romantically, because i LOVE how they subverted the eye-rolling predictable ' YA academic rivals enemies to lovers' trope. when i started TAS, i immediately thought they were gonna get together and assumed the worst. but no, they still had the banter and importance in their relationship but without the romance? instead both of them were gay af. it's beautiful. i love subverting tropes so much. they're each other's 'other half' and they're hilarious together.

NICO AND TRISTAN. they were such a highlight this book, it was unexpected but so funny. nico trying to murder tristan and their little talks because 'they're not friends...just coworkers' yeah right, the best friendships start with creatively murdering each other. tristan being droll and chill af, and then nico bouncing off the walls my adhd king.

reina and nico broke me?? like that one chapter where they sparred and caught up with each other and reina was guarding her hurt feelings. DUDE THAT KILLED ME. made me stare at the ceiling for a good minute. their friendship is everything to me, they contrast each other so well. she deserves to be treated better- when they had that projection chapter and she saw that nico downplayed her skills...like she was good, but not good enough for him to care about her. AGGHGH.

REINA AND PARISA. NOW THIS. THIS HOOKED ME INTO THE BOOK. i ship them so bad guys. they parallel each other and are both hot and enemies to lovers and wlw slow burn and- look. reina is asexual, therefore the only person to truly see and understand parisa for who she is, and not be influenced by her body. like that one projection. she can help parisa understand HERSELF and who she is past her sexual desirability. how to love someone again. romantically. then, on the flip side, parisa can help reina see and understand OTHERS. reina only sees people as one trait, cut and dry- without any of the complex feelings. parisa is a telepath, she knows how to read others. THEY CAN BOTH HELP EACH OTHER AND LOVE EACH OTHER IN WAYS THEY NEVER COULD HAVE OMFDADJFLSKJADFL- also reina pinned her against a wall and they want to kill each other and every time they interact i scream into my pillow-

-

'You can't love anyone right?"

"I've met very few people worth loving."

-

*throws myself off a building*

now we just gotta play the familiar game "IS IT DELUSION OR IS IT JUST SLOW BURN" and find out whether their insane chemistry pays off in book 3.

the nico parisa scene was actually sweet ngl, even though i don't ship them. the whole callum and tristan thing was so bitter exes situationship coded and i ate every second up. especially that last conversation. AND OFC. GIDEON AND NICO?!!! AAAAA THEY WERE SO CUTE THEY'RE ENDGAME I SCREAMED WHEN THEY KISSED DUDE THEYRE SO-

PLOT

now for the actual plot. this book has so many interesting subjects and philosophies and debates i'm not smart enough for this. but past all the aesthetic glamour, it's science, time travel, dreams, multiverses, fate, reality, and the complexities of the human mind. and my god it's fascinating as fuck.

do i have any idea what they do in this society?? NO. am i entertained? YES. especially that whole explosion paradox to bring libby back to the future. the whole powering the connections via aurora borealis? the whole debate about being gods? i love it. i love it.

alright im so sorry for that rant, i gotta go now but DUDE I LOVE THIS BOOK NO MATTER HOW WEIRD IT WAS

[thesrctsoftheuniverse]

so over the weekend (literally two days) i watched 16 of the 18 episodes of season 3....... so here's my thoughts!!!!

i've already professed my love for the characters more than enough but i just need to remind everyone that i am sosososo in love with all these fucking characters, what a truly insanely likeable lineup of different personalities

eddie getting buck to babysit chris so he stops being stuck in a depressive spiral.... genius

the earthquake episodes last season were insane, but the tsunami disaster?????? off the charts. the scenes with buck and chris were fucking beautiful, i love this duo and need more of them NOW. buck cares about that kid so goddamn much. and while tired and injured he saves idk how many more people. the way him and chris are fighting for their lives and then buck is desperately looking for chris all while eddie thinks they're completely safe. eddie was freaking out last season because his son was stuck in a school, but he was calm during this disaster because he was with BUCK. it makes me so emotional. im sosososo glad that i had seen the outcome of chris being found before watching the episode bc idk how people who didnt know that beforehand could handle it. the scene with eddie finding buck with chris' glasses???? im going to start crying. and after all of that for buck being so sure eddie wouldnt trust him anymore only for him to drop off chris again like its nothing?? im going to sob

from what i have read online the lawsuit storyline is a very divisive topic in the fandom. i kind of see both sides. i can see that buck thought his hands were tied and that the only family he had was replacing him. but i know at the same time that it's an overreaction. bobby didnt have any reason to have buck stay on leave for that long when chimney proudly proclaims he went back to work after only a couple of weeks. i understand that bobby cares about buck like a son somewhat, but he was not being fair. buck also shows that he didn't really want to cause as much hurt and friction between them by apologising again and again and not even thinking about accepting the money, going back to the 118 even though he knew they were going to make it difficult for him. it was a tricky situation, but im glad they moved on from it fairly quickly.

the fight club eddie storyline is kind of wild????? also did he ever get any reporcussions from bobby for that??? men will literally do anything but talk about their issues and deal with their feelings. what an insanely gay thing to do.

love eddies conversation with bobby where he starts crying. eddie should cry more often (i say this with love)

lena im in love with you, do you like women?

chris' english teacher is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo beautiful

i truly love seeing athena and her family grow and change over time. the relationship between bobby and michael is so important to me. i love them together. and michael's tumor storyline??? heartbreaking.

love albert!

chimney and maddie i love you two soso much you deserve the world, youre so imporant to me. chimney respecting maddies boundaries no matter what.... im gonna cry (A BABY?????????)

the episode of 911 dispatch being taken over might just be one of the best episodes of the series. i especially loved that we got to see characters that other times didnt get as much screentime. LOVE LOVE LOVE JOSH!!!

the athena begins episode is heartbreaking. and beautiful. the closure at the end, with her telling emmet's mother that they made an arrest. how beautiful. really well done. she never gave up on finding that man.

the eddie begins episode is also beautiful. him cutting the fucking rope???? idk how they want me to believe that he swam to safety but whatever..... anyways he loves chris so much and we got to see more of his and shannon's marriage which i loved. to be fair, he was kind of a shitty father and definitely a shitty husband, shannon was clearly not ok and i understand why she left. doesnt make it right, but i understand it. when he gets stuck underground and buck starts losing his mind, screaming, crying, throwing up and bobby gives him /that/ look. oh kill me now. that man was gonna dig by hand .... i love them.

the episode of buck helping that old veteran feel important and not alone at the end of his life? im going to start crying again. buck truly believes that no one will ever love him or choose him or stay with him forever.

michael talking to harry about what being black means when they encounter police was incredibly moving and heartbreaking. but also important. i just love athena's family.

hen hitting that cello girl with the ambulance...... oh i cried so hard, my heart broke for her. karen and her are so amazing together i love them so much, they truly are each other's rock.

i love the buckley siblings. i love the side characters. i love the main characters. i have so many thoughts.

abby....i understand that she had to get away from everything to find herself ok? but she shoudlve just texted or sent a letter to buck just to give him closure and not let him keep haunting her apartment. i dont like them as a couple, this shit has clearly hurt buck deeply and will not be easy for him to get over. she didnt really seem all to apologetic either at the end. i get it but also why did u have to hurt buck by not ever responding and ghosting him????

got so many funny and beautiful scenes this season, it was amazing!!! truly loved every character. it had that gay ass buddie kitchen scene... lol

but anyways....im already done with two episdoes of season 4 so bye

[leynaeithnea]

Who am I to deny you the joy of listing all your favorite lines from the musical? Bestie go nuts bc now I really want to know your favorite lines ( if you want to add the reason why they make you insane I will not be complaining) ( but like , a keysmash for each line is good too )

OKAY so

Ill go through it song by song I guess because thats the easiest way

1. Horse and the Infant

GREAT opening song; amazing; so good, from the set up, references, singing, sound design, music everything

My favorite part in it is when Odysseus tries to bargain with Zeus for Astyanax (totally didnt have to look up the name again) because musically??? And story wise??? Im on phone rn so maybe if we do these types of interactions more often i can go moee into deepth at some other point but for rn ill keep it semi short BUT ITS SO PERFECT (mortius and caspers reactions tend to break down things really well so bascially what they say, most of the time)

2. Just A Man

Tears, i loveeeeeeee Jorges falcetto voice, the desperation when he sings "whos fighting for his life" and then the drop that goes into "but when [...]" etc, it kind of reminds me a bit of the shift of pace in "Wait for It" in Hamilton? Which is def one of my favorite songs in that musical

As well as whe musical design of the men picking up the chorus when Odysseus steps closer to the wall and all eyes are on him and the question of when does a man become a monster, when does the reason become the blame gets echoed...

3. Full Speed Ahead

UNDERRATED SONG

I absolutely loveeeeee the theme of "We're up,we're off and away we go" followed by "full speed aheeeead" ANd agaiIN JORGES VOICE WHEN IN THAT omg its so gooooooddddddddd, also, ody being stern when he talks with eudy and then lighting up the second Polites approaches him, one of my favorite songs

4. Open Arms

We need more Polites.

When i first listened to it the first times I thought Polites was already high on Lotus....well

Also odys "im fine polites" -> huge liar

Does it show that I have a thing for Ody? He is the perfect kind of angsty character that I loveeeeee so deeply, Jorges voice acting in "STAY BACK", and Polites being completly unbothered fjsidksks also lotus winions!!!

A cave!

East; that way

5. Warrior of the Mind

personally actually one of my less favorite songs for some reasons? Probably bc its not angsty enough in this case, but i really love athenas voice in the new remastered versions even more than before. "Hahahahaha" is amazing tho, also I FEEL ROBBED in the new versions you cant confuse "Enlighten me" with "you lied to me" anymore ~yes i totally was convinced its "you lied to me" for weeks~

....this is really long that was only the troy saga oh well

6. Polyphemus

"Theres been a misunderstanding" line; the vocals in that, so good, as well as the threadenung drum sounds and all

Also great sound scape and everything

The "WATCH OUT"

7. Survive

Oh my

I CAN PICK UP THE DANGER MOTIF THERE im so happy that im getting better at this, ive been tone deaf all through high and middle school and it makes me so haopy to actually get better at this now

When the crew joins in with "sixhundred lives at stake" etc its sooo good, I loheee the choir/ensemble parts so much, in this musical and generally THE DELIVERY OF "push foooooooOOORward" omg

...also...rip to pancake boy...i love how w can see/feel in the musical how in shock Odysseus is until Polyphemus passes out

8. Remeber Them

ALSO UNDERRATED probably the only song where i rllyyy prefer the first version and dont like the remastered one as much because i love how it goes from shock and grief to slowly arising anger and determination while still hearing the hurt in his voice, in the new version we go straight into anger, which is fineeee but I always loved the way I imagined it before that

I loveee the chorus lyrics too

And then WHEN ODYS ANGER AND PRIDE AND GRIEF TAKES OVER AND HE DOXXES HIMSELF TO POLYPHEMUS, the delivery of these lines ----- love it so much

9. My Goodbye

Grown to love it even more lately, just because again, i think this is a trend but I love it when Ody is just kind of...suffering x)

The "Hey" is such good voice acting in that moment, its so good, just Ody being hurt and griefing and Athena bring frustrated with human reactions and man such a greattt song

10. Storm

"We're going to shoot for the sky" "What?"

...thats all I have to say for this one

11. Luvk runs out

...all the themes this sets up for thunder saga oml....

also, ody pretending to be fine and confident and all and the second hes alone with eury his fascade drops...he must be so angry that Eury called him out in public haha...ha...

Okay so, my hands are dying from typing but I totally want to finish this for the rest of the series, if you also want the second part of this please send me another ask so I can reply to it! 🙈

Good night for now :3

[forgottenroderick]

OOC | Varmont Belief System Thoughts

sooooo im having some frankly insane ideas abt Roderick’s belief system thanks to the Phoenix iconography (like…boiled down roderick might legit worship death effectively a la the faceless men of braavos in asoiaf/got?!!?!! Though in a slightly more life/death ying/yang creation through destruction kinda way a la dark!motto ‘in my end is my beginning’ sorta way idk Sfjkhffg HELPPP!) and before I get too carried away bc idk if we need a death cult emperor 😂😭 ummmm I wondered if you had any thoughts abt the varmont faith/the one god/etc adhkkjgdgh

ok so!!! this all comes out of the symbolism of the phoenix married to the whole ~fire focus in both that and in...well, roderick's actions laksdjfkljsdf so here're some ideas i have which may or may not be any good klsdjfkalsdflkj

creation through destruction as repped by phoenix.

burning witches cleanses them, releasing their lifeforce out into the world clean and pure.

perhaps reincarnation a la phoenix or perhaps destruction and death creates new souls and life etc????

Phoenix flames, sun, light, fire — dichotomy of light/dark, good/evil — Astaira and the staffords literally take the night as their standard (three stars in the night sky) and worship demons, conquest cleanses etc

oooh maybe infuse Phoenix w Renaissance salamander motifs — immune to fire and poison etc

ok so mary queen of scotts, her motto (as mentioned above) was 'in my end is my beginning' by which she meant as a catholic that yknow she'd go to her reward in heaven etc but what if such a concept were present in like...a more ~ouroboros kinda way as represented by the phoenix

so the ouroboros is an ancient egyptian symbol of a serpent rounding on itself to eat its own tale, which representing basically...unity and the natural eternal cycle of destruction and re-creation

in ancient egypt, this meant...oof ok so not to get ~too bogged down in ancient egyptian spiritualism/philosophy which is its own huuuge topic needless to say hahahaha but they had two really bit concepts that i think could impact us here: the tension between chaos (bad) and order (good) w their god-emperor maintaining that balance and the belief that without him there to do that everything would collapse into deadly chaos AND that...in essence...the soul was split into parts, w basically like...life force which was also a familial essence being a part of the soul that recurred in the world, and personality being part that was ~just you that would go to its ultimate judgment after death

there is also the ancient saying 'death is the only god who comes when you call' right

so!!!! w the ouroboros and phoenix symbols being connected (cycles of life, death, rebirth), what if we basically connect cleaning fire w order (i know, i know!) bc...you can summon a fire, right, you can make that you can't really make earth yknow...so its ~controllable even tho we don't think abt it that way like...i swear this can work ;DDDDD as a cleansing, controllable, destructive force that gives birth to new life (after a forest fire new life bursts from the ashes in a way that it doesn't w say a flood or a drought yknow) and yeahhhh idk!!!!!!!

anyway lmk if this makes any sense/is any good as sort of a foundation for our one god religion??????? cause i feel like maybe this one is just...maybe one bridge too far? ;alskdjfkljdsf ;DDD

[dashielldeveron]

just finished reading the izuku chapter for the second time and im so fucking blown away. your izuku makes me crazy hes so deranged i love it, it makes me feel like my freak is being matched with hoe insane i was trying to figure out who the secret character was lmao.

your izuku has ruined all others for me permanently because where else am i supposed to find a guy who’s as insane and determined and sexy as he is?? where am i going to read about a guy wanting me so much he died because rejected him? and he’s sososo caring + insane. the ask where you replied about him mumbling about all of the erogenous zones. so true and it killled meeee. i love that crazy man so much. not only do i his characterization just in general i also think it’s incredibly accurate interpretation of what izuku would be like in that situation and that’s what kills me the most. i love how (and this is not only talking about current route but all previous ones as well) in character and sexy he is. like he’s doing something in character sexy. like yes he would do all that weird shit and i love him for it. it’s infinitely important to me lmao. i don’t think i really articulated that well but i’m hoping my neurons are reaching your neurons and you know what i mean.

(also very much liked katsuki in this fic because he was also exhibiting 10/10 freak behavior, kissing opened mouth when my soulmate is in the room and the glimpse of our life with him was him having mc sit on his face like a chair? it’s very fun to revisit him in this route considering he was first written if you ever do vignettes [want to make it super clear that I don’t want it to come off like I’m pressuring you to write them, it’s just something I like to think about because this ff has a hold on my soul lmaooooo but that goes for anything you’d want to write ever] it’ll be so exciting to see him again as i love freaks)

world building 10/10, plot line 10/10, my favourite deranged guy 10/10. literally such a perfect last route in so many ways. you are so infinitely talented and your fan fiction has killed me. i am fatally excited for your next fic the way you write resonates with me that anything and everything ive ever read pales in comparison. i hope you enjoy the irreversible damage you’ve done to my psyche forever lmao wear it like a gold star + if you ever publish my old original crack shit theory post in your asks I’d laugh so hard. i was so crazy i asked one of my friends who reads your work their thoughts on my theory and to try point out out if there was anything I misremembered or missed LMAOO

-cork board anon

"my freak was matched with hoe insane" i want this embroidered on a pillow (even though i think it may have been a typo??? bc i think izuku is acting hoe insane). and trust your neurons are reaching mine; i get what you mean, and you're being very sweet about it!!! yeah since i haven't had to attach thoughts of izuku to a plot anymore, thinking about his levels of sexy determination just make my brain pitter out. i Need him.

and i'm soooooo pleased you think he's in character, and all, because i Worry, of course. he's hard to write!!! we don't get a lot of detail about his personality in canon, really, even though he's the main character!!!! i spruced up one of his most attractive canonical traits, which is that he Pays Attention........and apparently, i am REALLY into men who pay attention, bc i also made shinsou and aizawa very much Attention Payers when it comes to reader.......i think it may have helped to have defined their paying attention skills in different ways, and they're all sexy for it: 1) aizawa pays attention to reader so that he can keep her safe by controlling the overall situation they're in. so that she feels safe enough to come to him. 2) shinsou pays attention to reader so that she's so, so comfortable and so that he can take care of her in the ways she likes. so that he can give her what she's always wanted but never voiced. so that she's never nervous when he's around. 3) izuku pays attention to reader so he knows how to fuckin' drive her insane. so that he can infuriate her sexually enough that she cracks. god i love fictional men

KATSUKI KLADS;FJ;JSDFJKL; he was put in an opportunity, and he indulged lolololol. yeah it's so gutsy of him to open-mouth kiss reader while izuku is RIGHT THERE, freshly interrupted from talking about reader and soulmate stuff when she barged in. MEN. and don't worry; i don't feel pressured!!! i'm slowly working on the vignette ideas, and in the meantime, i'm almost done with the first chapter of my next project!!! but just because the art moves on does not mean we have to move on emotionally!!!! i think i have unfortunately written a version of bnha's end game that i like very much--particularly bc tenko/touya/toga get happy endings--so i'll always be down to discuss this fic!!!!

also lololol i'm about to publish your older asks; they deserve to be Seen and Perceived--they're pretty clever about the whole thing!!!! and thaaaaaaaaaaank you so much for being so kind about all of this!!!!! your asks really do make me smile so hard :) xx.