#men are dumb istg

[dumbcoconut5318008]

Y'know what would make an amazing Christmas gift?

Him getting over his fears and asking me on a FUCKING DATE

I'M WAITING BUD

I KNOW YOU WANT TO

[femkel]

I hate how moids get so pissed at me for hating men and calling them all violent fuckwads, but then they turn around and make rape jokes about women?? like are you not just proving my point??

[puppybr4ined]

this is the last time i say this.

if you are someone whos in my dni list and u go into my asks to bitch and moan that im not into your weird ass kinks or you try to be like "hey i know im in your dni but i like your content can we be friends🥺"

i will simply delete it and block you. you won't get any reaction out of me. you wont get anything out of it. so maybe that will motivate you to shut the fuck up!

[rainbenrry23]

🤔

[kavehater]

Every time a muslim Shia-phobe opens their mouth an angel dies btw

[eyeless-smiles]

Pro: their mutual obsession with each other enhances every sensation. Con: beds and other things break on a regular.

"If we don't break something, we haven't been going at it hard enough, baby."

@langdhon

[lemon-boy-stan]

Genshin men NSFW headcanons

Smut. Headcanons. FEATURING: diluc, kaeya, childe, dottore, xiao, wriothesley, neuvillette x reader. WARNINGS: breeding (diluc, zhongli, wriothesley), size kink (diluc, childe) CNC (kaeya), exhibitionsim (kaeya), knife/sword play (kaeya), monsterfucking (childe, zhongli), sex films (kaeya), corruption (dottore), dumbification (childe, dottore), dollification (dottore), objectification (dottore), torture (dottore), cum play (xiao), size kink (diluc, wriothesley), face riding (xiao), thigh riding (xiao, wriothesley), cock riding (xiao, wriothesley), handcuffs (wriothesley), toys (neuvillette), oral (neuvillette)

MINORS DON'T INTERACT ISTG.

DILUC

Ever since you've been in a relationship with Diluc, he's always been a service top.

Diluc also fucks to make love. Sex is meaningful to him, unless, of course, when he's angry or jealous.

He's a dom, and enjoys being in control, but also enjoys worshipping you.

Diluc only wants to make you feel good

Although he is a Pyro character, so sometimes he might get out of control

When he's really angry or really turned on, his eyes flash dark red.

Diluc is often vocal in sex. He groans alot, sometimes moans, and is always praising how well you're doing for him.

He's always had a breeding kink, but since your marriage, he can't get the idea of kids out of his head.

Diluc also adores the fact that you're so much smaller than him.

Every time he stretches you open you still squeal because he's too big.

He's drunk with how you make him feel, and he knows no one else would ever make him feel this good.

KAEYA

Switch but mostly Dom.

A mean one at that.

He enjoys things like CNC, knife play.

Seeing you squirm beneath him just gets him harder.

He does enjoy to sub sometimes, but you're never completely in control.

Kaeya is also an exhibitionist.

If he gets jealous, he'll fuck you infront of whoever made him jealous; maybe his brother or another knight.

In a modern au, he'd defineltey enjoy making sex films. He'd just love having videos of you all fucked out on his phone, cockdrunk.

CHILDE

Childe is a top, even more cruel than Kaeya.

Unlike Diluc, Tartaglia fucks to fuck.

He has alot of pent-up stress from his job, and he needs to let it out somehow.

What better way than his pretty little traveller?

Tartaglia loves seeing the fear in your eyes when he backs you up against a wall.

He loves how you suck his cock in so well, taking it every time even if it hurts.

Childe is often scared that one day he may hurt you in his foul legacy form.

He disagrees with the idea at first, and it takes a lot of convincing.

But one day, when he's turned, he can't resist you

He is ten feet tall, and his cock is fifteen inches.

He's a bit like a dragon in where the idea what's his is his.

In his foul legacy form, Childe's voice has you under a spell where you do anything he says.

DOTTORE

Dottore is a sadist.

You're just so innocent, and you just love him so much, he can't help but use you.

He loves your pretty blonde hair, and how lost and dumb you are for him.

You're such a good little doll, better than any of his creations.

He'd only ever fucked his creations before, but when you joined the fatui, he knew he felt something strong for you, something warm and different.

While he enjoys torturing you, in his own way, he's showing how much he loves you.

There's only the best for you, the best treatment, the best gifts.

Dottore loves how you're still not used to his fingers, his kisses, his touches.

He loves corrupting you, making you even more obsessed with him, almost brainwashed from his cock.

Maybe one day he'll put a concoction on you, give it to you to drink.

XIAO

Xiao is a major switch who loves to worship you.

He loves being inside you. He gets antsy alot when he isn't.

He's got a high sex drive, so you can count on alot of sex.

He also has the prettiest, sexiest moans.

Xiao loves making a mess of his cum, covering your body in it.

Xiao loves when you ride his face, his cock, his thighs. He can't get enough of it.

He loves you cumming on him, not being able to stop yourself.

Sometimes he'll have his hand wrapped around your throat if you talk back too much.

He also likes somnophilia. Once, Xiao saw you sleeping, and he just couldn't help yourself. And when he heard you moaning in your sleep, it became his new obsession.

WRIOTHESLEY

Wriothesley is a big believer in handcuffs and punishment.

He has many rules, and many repurcussions.

He likes having you helpless, being obsessed with him.

He's a former boxer, so he's very strong

He often manhandles you unintentionally, and his grip is so tight it often leaves marks.

If you're bad, he will cuff your hands behind your back. No exceptions.

He loves how tiny you are, how big his cock is compared to you.

He loves fucking you in the ass, it's his favourite thing to fill you up from behind.

He loves seeing you bounce on his abnormally large cock and his thighs.

Most importantly, he's obsessed when you shove your head into his neck, mewling at how good he feels.

NEUVILLETTE

Neuvillette is a switch who mostly enjoys subbing, and when he doms he likes being on bottom too.

Neuvillette loves when your mouth is around his cock. He'd never had any kind of sex before, and as soon as he felt you around him, he was obsessed.

He loves when his nipples are in your mouth. They're so sensitive, that he's squirming and gripping the bedsheets.

He loves being overstimulated, even if he's on top. When he cums so much that he can't anymore, his voice always breaks and he always starts crying because of how good it feels.

He loves when you use toys on him, he's a pillow princess. Vibrators, plugs, strap-ons, you name it.

He loves to shake of orgasms, and making messes all over you.

ZHONGLI

Zhongli has never had sex with a human before

But with you, he just couldn't resist.

He had to mate with you, make you his.

Don't you know dragons don't share their belongings?

Your scent was just... Different to him than anyone else. Special, perfect.

When he gets jealous, he half-turns into his form, his arms turning black and golden, horns growing on his head, tail forming behind him.

He uses his tail to keep you in place.

Sometimes, he makes you drink the ichor he bleeds, coaxing you into it, purring how much he wouldn't be able to live a lifetime without you.

He's obsessed with breeding you, as dragons mate for life.

Zhongli sees sex as something necessary, and is able to track your cycle by scent. He knows if you're on your period, when to fuck you, when to make love with you, and he knows if you're carrying his children.

GENSHIN IMPACT MASTERLIST

NAVIGATION

[dumbseee]

rumours, part two.

part one.

jude bellingham x influencer!reader.

fc: nailea devora.

_

groupchat: it girls 💕

larray:

ain’t no way you’re dating jude fucking bellingham and haven’t told us

y/n:

larry istg i’ll cut your hair in your sleep if you keep believing those DUMB rumours

oliviarodrigo:

girl

he’s hot asf why don’t you shoot your shot?

y/n:

with a footballer?

hell fucking no

these guys don’t know what being faithful to one person means

and i’ve heard plenty of shit about this jude guy

larray:

yeah me too tbh

y/n:

i’m not getting involved with him, period.

larray:

okay but what about his teammates?

y/n:

larry.

larray:

DO IT FOR ME

_

liked by judebellingham, yourbestie, larray and 789 928 others.

y/n: girls night 🥂

_

fan1: JUDE LIKED???

fan2: is she lying to us?? bc why would he like her posts now?

fan3: I JUST CHECKED AND HE’S FOLLOWING HER NOW TOO

fan4: maybe she lied to protect their privacy?? that would make sense tbh

fan5: you look so good 😍

fan6: she’s such a baddie omg, jude i get it now

fan7: didn’t know who she was before the whole jude drama but omg i love her

fan8: LEAVE JUDE ALONE YOU FREAK

fan9: petition for jude’s groupies to leave y/n alone

fan10: MOTHER

fan11: y/n please do another grwm i’m obsessed with your videos

fan12: how to be like her, she’s hot asf and has THEE jude bellingham at her feet

view all comments.

_

insta dms:

y/n:

wtf is wrong with you?

i told you to tell your fangirls to leave me alone and what are you doing? you LIKE my posts and you follow me now?

leave me alone, jude.

judebellingham:

you looked good

you always look good*

are you free, tomorrow night?

y/n:

can’t you READ?

LEAVE. ME. ALONEEEEE.

or i’m pressing charges on you hoe.

judebellingham:

so it’s a yes?

i’ll send you the tickets and my jersey, someone will come pick you up, what’s your address?

y/n:

wtf

what do you mean?

judebellingham:

we’re playing against sevilla and i want you to come

y/n:

we don’t even know each other tf??

is that how you get all those girls to get obsessed with you?

that ain’t gonna work with me, boy.

judebellingham:

hm, i like you already.

y/n:

well, i hate you.

judebellingham:

haha

turns me on, love it.

y/n:

i am BLOCKING you

_

i hate him. i fucking hate him. who does he think he is? making me come see him to his stupid game, what am i, his mother? seriously i could’ve stayed at home, binge-watching the twilight movies like i do every year. now i have to go to his fucking football game, it’s going to be so nosy, damn it. and before you ask me, YES i am getting ready and i am wearing his jersey. not because i want to, but i know that i won’t hear the end of it if i don’t do it. yeah, i’m doing it because he’s forcing me, no other reason.

like jude said, someone did pick me up to take me to the bernabeu stadium, and i can’t believe i’m doing this. the venue is full of fans wearing either their real madrid jerseys or their sevilla jerseys. i can see men, women, kids, elderly people, they’re all here to have fun and support their favourite team and i have to admit that it’s a cute sight. let’s just hope that they don’t kill each other’s at the end of the match. i’m quickly escorted to the vip section, where friends, family and important people would seat for the game.

"oh my god, is that y/n?" a voice called from behind, i closed my eyes shut, fuck, and walked faster, i should’ve wore a mask to hide my face. if anyone picture me in this stadium with that motherfucker’s jersey on, it would end my career and i’m half exaggerating.

thank god, the vip section was secluded from the other people. the game started and i had to admit that it was fun to watch when you weren’t really supporting anyone. no stress, just having fun watching men run after a ball, just like dogs. jude was actually good, i never looked him up on the internet to watch his performances, i just knew he was the internet’s favourite whore and girls were thirsting over him. he was good looking, of course, no one could deny that, but more than anything he was annoying as fuck. i surprised myself, cheering for him when he scored a goal, what was wrong with me.

real madrid was actually leading the game with two goals against one. jude’s teammate passed the ball to him and he scored his third goal of the match. okay now, why did this motherfucker just point at the crowd, more specifically towards me? people turned around to see where he was pointing at, but thankfully they couldn’t see me. my heart definitely sank when he did that though, seriously what is wrong with this guy! it was a cute gesture, yes, but we weren’t dating and i promised myself to never date an athlete, tried it once and promised to never doing it again. jude was everything i hated in a man, he was reckless, cocky, full of himself and he knew he was hot. nothing worse than a guy who knows he’s handsome.

_

"how was i?" he asked, this big smile plastered on his face, i wish i could tear it off his face. "fine, i guess." jude made a weird face and put his hands on his hips. "fine? y/n, i was more than fine and you know it, scored three goals and they were all for you." he blew me a kiss and i swore i was about to knock him out. "yeah about that, someone could’ve seen me!" i said, slapping his arm, making him laugh. "darling, that’s what i wanted." okay, the way he was looking at me may or may have not made my heart skip a beat. "jude, i’m starting to believe that the fans gaslighted you into thinking we’re already dating." he laughed, making my cheeks heat up just a bit. "i just want to give the fans what they want to see." he shrugged and put his arm around my shoulders to start walking out of the changing room. i imediatly pushed his arm away and speed walked in front of him to hide my red cheeks. of course, the bitch was laughing at me, running to catch me and poking my cheeks to mock me. "aww, you’re blushing? i thought you hated me, darling." i put my hands on my cheek. "fuck you! it’s just hot in here!" "it’s literally minus two degrees, y/n."

_

liked by judebellingham, jobebellingham, oliviarodrigo and 890 918 others.

y/n: maybe football isn’t so bad 🙄

_

judebellingham: like the view? 👀

y/n: shut up.

fan1: SHE POSTED JUDE???

fan2: Y/N DID YOU LIE TO US???

y/n: WE’RE JUST FRIENDS GUYS OMG

judebellingham: for now* 🫢

y/n: jude istg…

fan3: OMGBSJSOSLSLMDMSLZ WTF

fan4: i am literally shitting bricks what the FUCK

fan5: i love the banter lmao they’re fun

fan6: i ship it tbh

fan7: y/n being a wag for 2024 omg

fan8: i love how she’s fighting it but we all know how it’s going to end

fan9: Y/N NOOOOOO NOT A FOOTBALLER

oliviarodrigo: well, well, well 👀

y/n: please not you too

larray: will you look at THAT

y/n: LARRY SHUT UP IM BEGGING

fan10: lmaoo even her friends are ratting her out

fan11: #savey/n

view all comments.

_

insta dms:

y/n:

ARE YOU KIDDING ME

DID YOU REALLY DM POP BASE TO TALK ABOUT US???

judebellingham:

mmh, i don’t know what you’re talking about

y/n:

jude bellingham.

judebellingham:

okay maybe i did

BUT I DIDN’T KNOW THEY’D RAT ME OUT LIKE THAT

y/n:

FOR FUCK’S SAKE

judebellingham:

anyways it’s not a big deal tbh

are you free tonight?

y/n:

no.

judebellingham:

nice, i’ll come pick you up at 9 <3

y/n:

are you BLIND?

i said no bitch

judebellingham:

suddenly i can’t read.

_

liked by judebellingham, larray, sabrinacarpenter and 901 927 others.

y/n: get you a man who eats his spaghettis with his hands 😍

_

judebellingham: i wonder who is this gentleman 🫢

y/n: yeah i wonder too 🙄

fan1: pls not jude carrying y/n’s purse

fan2: they’re so cute stop

fan3: my favourite couple

fan4: PARENTS

fan5: lmao i bet jude is the one who begged her to be his gf

y/n: yes.

fan6: JAISOSPXLD’´S

view all comments.

[mooningningg]

"𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐛 𝐲𝐨𝐮."

Flirty enemies to lovers with jjk men.

gojo, sukuna, and megumi, (f).

genres, warnings, trope. fluff! | cursing ig! | enemies to lovers! |

notes i. I'd be happy to see my request and submission box filled rn, pls.

⋆.ೃ࿔*Gojo.

•you hate gojo, he hates you. Oh boy, just the thought of his white hair irritates your whole being, shakes your bones in anger, his name ever so leaves a bitter taste right on your tongue. It was serious both of you didn't like each other, oh so you thought was the case.

•you see, to gojo. When he sees something he's interested in, he likes to get their attention, well that's exactly what he's doing with you.

•being an annoying piece of shit = your attention.

•you really had no idea why he even started to bother you at some point but it grew to the point that you came to a final choice that you hated the man, absolutely despised him!

•but if you did... Why was it you found yourself enjoying his lips devouring yours.

The sound of sloppy kisses bounces off of the walls as gojo pushed you further more onto the wall behind you in an empty classroom if it was even possible, it was like your lips were the only thing presented to a starved man, which gojo played as at that moment. He was needy, so desperate, his hands roamed all over you, not leaving a spot untouched.

You couldn't believe yourself, absolutely unbelievable. You were arguing him at first and not even a second after you found your lips against his, and surprisingly, his lips felt like heaven when it was shut and only moved against you.

"I hate you so much." You mumbled in between the kisses and he replies, "you're the worst person on the face of the earth." "You suck." "You suck more." "Literally want to kill you." "Already planning your funeral."

˚ ༘♡Sukuna.

•Oh boy(2), being enemies with him if that's what you call is such a pain in the ass, istg. This man will NEVER stop bothering you, he likes to see you stressed out and angry, but he lowkey thinks it's cute that's why he likes to piss you off.

•his playboy, rebellious antics, is the reason why you hated him, he was bad news, always a troublemaker. He liked to break the rules and well... You liked to go by them not break them, but sukuna found himself interested more on breaking you.

•you intrigued him at some point though, when he started bother you he was legit hating on you but as time flew by, he somehow liked your attention on him.

•and now, these days he started flirting with you, but still a mix with being a pain in the ass, and you were confused wether you liked it or not, because he was... Charming, indeed, but a delinquent.

You placed the book right on the spot on the shelf you took it from back, after reading the title and summary you found no interest to read it for the day, you continued your search in the library, fingers brushing on every books spine, trying to find something interesting to say the least.

And when you did, you took it from the shelf and smiled slightly at your accomplishment, turning around to head to the safest place to read said by you.

Unfortunately, you were met by a big chest in front of you, the familiar scent of his perfume meets your nose and as if on time you rolled your eyes just like that.

"Move, jerk." You harshly bite, glancing up at him to look him in the eye and he stared down at you with that usual smirk of his that you wanted to slap off of him more than ever "and why would I." The pink haired replies, not flustered at all he brings his hand to place on the shelf right beside your head, he leans down to have his head leveled to yours.

"Because you're in the way, are you dumb." You say in a more demanding tone, meaning what you had said, he chuckles mischievously at your statement, "if you weren't so pretty you'd be six feet under the ground, you just piss me off, so fucking bad. The way you run your mouth all the time like, jesus christ woman do you never shut up." He suddenly rants in your face, saying all that with a smirk.

"You think I'm pretty?"

*ೃ༄Megumi.

•he was mean, not really. He was just brutally honest, serious and you kind of did not like that about him because he was mean to people, he was totes not your type. He was just straight up blank, not a single smile ever can be seen on his face and you found it annoying how someone can look and feel so miserable.

•it was mutual, he found you annoying also. Always running your mouth, like you can never shut up, he was annoyed with people that were loud but you, oh he was annoyed on another level. You go on over and over, over a topic that made no literal sense and the next you were over another topic.

•but maybe the things you found annoying about each other was overcomed by the liking you two had for each other also, and you may never guess what happened next but that's right. You both are officially secretly dating no body knew what or how it happened. The transition was... Complicated, ehe.

"HEY GUMI HAVE YOU SEEN MY SHAMPOO I CANT FIND IT ANYWHERE." Yuuji literally yells as he barges into the bathroom with which he assumed only megumi behind the shower curtain, "Yuuji..." Megumi calmly tries to get his attention but no, the pink haired was rather easily distracted that explains why he was unfocused about what megumi was trying to say, he only focused on finding his shampoo, "like I thought it was here, because I literally remember putting it here but i-" "Yuuji, I'm not exactly alone in here..." Megumi was too shy to say, "huh what?" And just like that you peeped through the shower curtains with an innocent smile as if you weren't butt naked inside the shower with your significant other, which turned out to be yuuji's roommate.

"Hey, yuu." You say with a sweet smile, yuuji instantly became flustered and as he was taking his steps back towards the door but still looking at you, " oh uh hi I'll just..." Knocks multiple things over, "...leave you two alone." Knocks more things over, "also I think your shampoo is over there." You pointed right at it but yuuji didn't even take a glance, "um thanks Y/n, I'll just.." *awkward finger guns*.

notes ii. this isn't proofread btw :).

[evis-gossip]

I would like to add: buying your mom the most thoughtful gift possible, like a fucking pandora bracelet and your father (or step-father in my case) buying her the same gift a week later cause he got her nothing for Christmas or buying her the most mediocre gift possible like a phone charger and money from their shared savings account cause he forgot until the day of Christmas Eve while you bought her a skin care set complete with jada rolls with your childhood savings

a universal eldest daughter experience has to be buying mom’s christmas presents from your father and filling her stocking

[kel-lance]

Jjk headcanons/fan theories/ random thoughts/random facts

I made this in a few months time so its prob repetitive

Tsumiki went into her year and 7 month long coma when megumi was 13-14 years old meaning tsumiki missed her sweet 16 :( (she’s a year older than him)

Toji was a good dad in the end (both times) bc he was already dead and told Gojo to take Megumi as a F u/later fix the alliance’s of the clans and to make sure that Megumi would be protected, fed, housed, and taught sorcery bc toji damn well couldn’t much less protect his kids from curses anyhow.

Noaya (and the men of the Zenin clan) abused Mai and maki bc they’re women (implied SA) noaya hinted at asking to beats em up like he used to (could be implied bc he called them hot & Mai has the same face) but he was also possibly teasing since Mai just 💀 but there’s no way he could have known that

It’s worse to be a male Zenin with no cursed energy bc then you’d be absolutely powerless, useless, worthless, etc. no other clan woman would want you and your fam would never coughed for you much less protect you bc why do they have to you were born a Zenin and yet…

So we know Kokichi Toji Mai n maki all were hit with HR but it was just a double whammy to also be twins? Yes. HR hit Toji so hard bc he was the first to be without cursed energy but then Nanako and Mimiko, bc they’re fraternal twins that that’s possible they’re able to both have CE?

Kenjaku stayed in Iori for so long that his stitches healed I’m guessing he planned it all (or saw hat happened which is why he chose Jin (bc there’s no way that’s random) and killed Jin and went to Geto when it was time (did Ken know about the KFC break up too??)

maki had no CE but still couldn’t get in tune with her full potential is bc Mai was there this the twin HR is f’d but there’s probably more chance one could 💀 the other to become powerful but in this instance it was about sacrifice and distance love. Different paths yet they were “the same person” so that’s only with identical twins?

sukuna loves to eat and is a cannibal and lactates and has 4 arms, 6 mouths or more, 20 fingers, many eyes, 4 legs, 10 toes, 3 heads, hopefully 9ft tall in his monster form…. 

stg toji had his divorced dad rock on religiously (nickel back fan don’t even start w me, weezer son nickleback dad)

nobara gonna be used in some way theres no reason to have her status as unknown of not to edge us istg I’ll even take a cursed spirit piloting her to mess with Yuuji more and she’s part of sukuna or some even worse group they gotta fight after the culling game arc

after chapter 253 are maki and yuta dead?? Hopefully Yuta was eaten but on Yutas birthday gege thats foul (I love it) 🫣🤩

It’s past ch253 and we’re waiting for 3/24 for the next chapter but I heard yuta yelled at Hakari to shut up with cursed speech? Or was that earlier 

Maki Mai and Megumi and Tsumiki met probably around the time tsumiki went into that coma/megs entered jjk no wonder hes so formal//doesn’t know them well he was under gojos protection for so long

some jsckass said mais first love is unknown or megumi are you dumb shes in love with her sister no sister kissed the other to give them a sword cooly and die she literally just wanted to be with her no matter what to go to the ends of the earth it didn’t matter as long n as maki was with her but maki knew Mai’s potential to be better than her so she tried to make herself better, leaving Mai behind in the process and they still never hated each other even after all the time away.

mai likes to take care of cacti/the clan favored her over maki bc she has at least some CE//weve only seen maki being affected by her family's rejection (jjk0 makis mom said shed wished shed never have given birth to her as she was a failure and same girlie but my mom chose any and everyone to compare me to) but Mai either didn’t see herself special in that way and put the blame on maki or dealt with it in her own way (maki vs the fam excluding Mai and Megumi // whereas Mai’s version US against the world)

if choso is yuujis brother and kamo is one of chosos distant family, that would mean Yuuji, Choso, Yuki, Todo, and Kamo are all "Brothers" I love the thought of them being super cool and scary together with their cute yuki & Yuuji golden retrievers in a Doberman family

the same people who ship yuki and choso also ship utahime and gojo or shoko and gojo yall have NO comprehension skills at ALL or cant believe men n women b close like Yuuji & Nobara/Power & Denji/ Sasha & Connie/ Nami & Usopp, Franky, or Luffy) 

Kenny planted the first finger by Geto’s twins to Yuuji’s school. they just had to get the finger to the occult club 

Does Kenny have a witch or oracle or even premeditative powers to know the future or did he just plan this out to a T and what is his damn goal 

Yuuji and Yuta are from the same home town bc gege said it’d be easier for the story but then todo also went to Yuuji’s middle school

Nobara dyes her hair lighter and I wonder how often she talks to Fumi back at home. And her grandmother if she’s like me w low contact

Megumi was alone with gojo for almost 2 years (no tsumiki) no wonder he’s so to himself he was probably always with tsumiki before, who decided everything for them (in a big sis way) and he respected it 

Yutas a pos for forgetting how Rika 💀 then trapping her w him bc of how traumatized he was like bruh you also yelled at her the first time u ever yelled at Rika was over another girl and he doesn’t do much else but manipulate like the Pisces man he is (I kin him/made an oc before I found out about his BITCH ass and he got everything word for word but is a dude I’m losing it) 

As an astrologer, I must say Gege’s planning with the character birthdays and everything else I can read from that is incredibly accurate I’ll give examples in the next points

geto’s mission was to go to remote village, he finds curse and exorcizes it, finds the twins the next dy, he kills everyone, he goes back to his pants to get supplies and kills them (prob no his first choice but once again was probably proven right) and runs has been gone for way too long and gojo doesn’t know what th ehhell happened. which is why he was so mad at kfc and geto just had to accept his new role while gojo was still in the past

Toji and Megumi (Kamo, Nobara, Todo) being cancer moons meaning they care about the heart, (todo has other placements making it seem a lil more “shallow” when he just wants a “straight” answer (lmao Megumi)

Yuta being a Leo moon and (outwardly asked) liking the chest

Yuuji being a libra moon liking butts all this makes sense (libra moons are indecisive, will weight out all the possibilities and still want the peaceful side unless there’s such chaos there’s no way for that to happen… then we snap)

Yuuji and Junpei would’ve been perfect friends we already saw but they both just didn’t ask for any of this and chose their own paths, they’re almost parallels of each other 

Geto’s birthchart shows a lot more of wanting to get humanity to evolve where gojos looks more like a POWERFUL cog in the machine 

Yap: Gege basically made this for women I’m sorry boys but why all the beautiful men & perfectly written women & relationships maybe it’s just a rare case where the mangaka actually knows women (or gege is a woman 🤗) & how all the dudes fit a Yaoi archetype & the women,,, they’re perfect & cute & not sexualized (other than maki in jjk0 & the glasses girl in ep 1 getting groped) but everything else is just hot w/o taking ur clothes off kinda energy & thats INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT w everything else going on 

You think something broke in Meimei when she said she wanted to be comforted and Gojo was like bruh I was joking 🙃 

Kirara and Uranme’s gender is yes 👍🏼 

Geto raising the girls as a 17-18yr old is insane same age as Megumi and gojo so for how long was Geto their dad? Inbetween 10 years but when did the girls realize that that wasn’t their dad anymore? I’m guessing Kenny can remember the vessel he takes overs memory or does something to their brain to replace it w him

I doubt a male mangaka can write good women (mostly bc of the stereotype that they’re shut ins but also from just reading/watching with my own eyes and being a woman myself) and add them in correctly, though the thing is in jjk they’re all just in a world but in Naruto and berserk and stuff she’s the add in into /their/ world where they keep fighting bc they miss each other and she gotta be used and a pillar for them or an excuse like Nobara and shoko weren’t used like that by satsug and itafushi they were their own ppl w their own sh like don’t get me wrong vasca and Sakura also were their own people but they really were given the bottom of the barrel sh bc of the dudes decisions. Shoko and Nobara strictly did what they wanted instead of falter to men

They’re literally all kids it doesn’t matter if some are weaker or useless, imagine a god/demon came here rn like the strongest will survive/fight you have to also apply the “weak characters” to irl bc I bet you they’re still stronger than most of us (miwa, Kamo, idk about momo still but she been w them I can’t doubt her skill just cause they had POWERFUL enemies

Gojo not being able to drink makes sense no drugs to impair his power and eyes (maybe lightweight maybe uncontrollable drunk and no one’s really ready or able to control that) 

Gojo isn’t coming back and he wouldn’t bc he half assed the fight and now he’s with his love and everyone has to fend for themselves now 

I like to think Gojo had Megumi and tsumiki, Geto had Nanako and Mimiko and nanami had Nobara and Yuuji in this preschool/parent AU (tojis gojos ex baby daddy) 

All of them are taller than me other than momo and Nobara. (Im 5’4” so gojos 10 years older and a foot taller 🫣) 

In one of Geges book covers it has Gojo in the winter w pink camellias and those flowers mean ily even after death and that flower is also specifically for the birthday feb3 (Geto’s) AGAIN WHY I THINK GEGES A WOMAN RAHHHHH

Maki, Mai, Toji, Kamo, Kokichi were all raised w no love like at all. Yuta had it good til 11, Miwa, yuuji and megumi never fully had it good, todo, Toge (?), Panda, momo, and nobara were just chillin.

HOW DID NOBARA COME UP WITH HER TECHNIQUE THEYRE ALL EMO BITCHES SHE WAS LITERALLY 16 FOR 2 MONTHS BEFORE HER FACE BLAST

SHE WAS SO YOUNG HOW DID SHE COME UP WITH HAMMERING NAILS INTO HERSELF WHAT

Uranme and Kirara go by (they/them)

Gojo and Geto were soulmates no matter the relationship

Utahime, Shoko, Momo, Mai and Nobara all like girls 

Gojo knew Geto for the short amount of time but thought of him for 5x longer.

Megumi’s been without his sister for 1.5 years so she went into a coma when he was 13, his 2nd-3rd year of junior high)

  Mai and maki didn’t know about Toji and Megumi until that year (2018)

Kenjaku planted the first finger at Yuuji’s school by Nanako and Mimiko (they’re the same age) hence why thanking Satsuki for taking care of his son

The person Rika is gone, her cursed spirit is what remains (an embodiment of her love/the curse yuta placed on her)

Yuta is wrong for using Rika and forgetting about his promise and why she’s even there for 6 YEARS then yelling at her about Maki 

Shoko started smoking in high school and stopped about 5 years ago, but started again when she heard Geto was alive again. 

Sukuna has 6 mouths, 4 arms, 4 legs, many eyes, and lactates. 

Choso, Yuuji, Kamo, Todo, and Yuki are all “brothers” by blood or not idc i love their lil weirdo family.

Toji was a good dad, dealt the worst hand, everything going down so the best way to protect his kids is to give them to people who can kill curses and teach them about sorcery. 

Nobara and Yuuji have the same friendship as Power and Denji, Nami and Franky/Luffy/Usopp

[anli-rambles]

So I just replayed the "The Foam and the Flames" memory from Sequence 9 and after comparing it to the way it was recalled in Forsaken, I finally figured out why the Forsaken version never sat well with me.

I always refused to believe Haytham knew about Ziio's death by then. His reactions felt way too genuine; Haytham may have been trained to lie but he's still a horrible actor, you can see how he can't play up the "I'm clueless" bit for shit when he tries to pretend he just found out about Washington's plan to attack Connor's village later in the game. That little "what" WAS NOT HIM PLAYING DUMB. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT IS.

THAT'S WHY BOWDEN SHIFTED THE FUCKING DIALOGUE IN THE BOOK. HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING.

Cuz like, in the game, Haytham's shocked little "what" comes right after Connor tells him Ziio is dead. In Forsaken, it comes after Connor adds that it was done by Haytham's men. And that small little switch around CHANGES BASICALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT CONVERSATION.

Also, Haytham sounds way too panicked when he tries to convince Connor he wasn't at fault. Bowden tries to claim it was a calculated move on Haytham's part but it absolutely fucking wasn't, please, the man is STRUGGLING to keep calm and trying so hard to prove to Connor that it couldn't have been him because he'd abandoned the search for the precursor site and gets more agitated with every word.

JUST LOOK AT THE DIFFERENCE.

When I played the game, I always assumed that this was the moment Haytham found out about Ziio's death. It made sense to me that he wouldn't know since he'd completely lost contact with her — if he'd been keeping tabs he would've known Connor was his son from the moment he was born. And he would've killed Washington himself long ago. We all know Haytham isn't above killing people to avenge family.

The Templars also didn't know where Ziio's village was located, that was the whole point of Lee beating up Connor so he would reveal its location, so Haytham had no way to know how she was doing all those years.

No, I think this is where he learned about it, and before leaving with Connor to Martinique, he told his spies to investigate what happened that night. I always assumed that this was the thing he was talking about with that random mercenary at the beginning of the next sequence.

Anyways. I'll never forgive Bowden for this. He can meet me in the Walmart parking lot istg

[radfemsiren]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8LYd1XQ/

I have lost all patients with men, idc. I mean this in the most DISRESPECTFUL way possible; SHUT YOUR DUMB ASS UP ISTG 😭

talking bout white women and acting as if he knows how the 4B moment works

SILENCE MOID

Black men on the algorithm have been losing it about 4b, they’re either screaming it’s “white feminism!” or “Y’all are hoes and won’t do it anyway!” 🙄 Cope!

[suguru-getos]

Congwats on 2k my beautiful girlie💖🥰

Im here to feed the event more

Cyno, me, and Tighnari because im sure as hell a simp for them <33

Cyno would let me make a flower crown for him and tighnari tells me what flowers fit him

I feel like Collei loves when me and cyno come over to visit because tighnari gets soft <33

Time for spice👹

Ofc Tighnari would have his mating season, so i imagine them being competitive (double penetration <33)

I am such a sub where i want to be dominated by these 2 so bad istg.

Bring me to tears because of overstimulation

More often than not, during tighnari's mating season, it goes night till early morning

Love you girlie, you truly deserve the 2k <3 Let us enjoy the days ahead of brainrots n' fanfics💖

thamk yew my baby 🫶🏻 pls i love your hcs about them so much! cynonari is my comfort ship in genshin🥺

en’s 2k event:

“tighnari— she’s close,” cyno mumbled, feeling your velvety walls massage and clench around his cock while tighnari’s fingers fondled with your sensitive clit. the two men were waging their own war against your body. wanting to dig out the most out of you, wanting to feel you collapse in exhaustion, be dumbed down by the multiple orgasms and be in a trance with the overstimulation.

“oh is she now?” tighnari mused, enjoying the feeling of you gargle on his cum as he throat fucked you relentless. the new stream of tears pooling down your eyes because of the gag reflex. “hnnng” you managed to utter an incoherent whine.

“go ahead baby, cum for us,” cyno cooed, leaning in and kissing the nape of your neck. you were beautifully presented to the two men in all fours, feeling yourself regressed into nothing but a puddle of cum. no worries though, because they are kings of aftercare.

[skyfallscotland]

Ok, House of Sky and Breath live reactions, final part! We're done! Only one more Maasverse book to go. Thank fuck

• Ithan noooo! How will Tharion ever survive if you die before he realises how perfect you are together?

• Oh, Tharion's actually here? Don't worry Dumb, Dumber is here to make sure you're ok 😭

• Wait??? Is Tharion with Hypaxia?? I mean...that's ok, she thinks Ithan's cute? We could make that threesome work??

• Ooooh Ruhn setting up his own Cinderella moment? 🥺 top tier shit!

• Ruhn's Cinderella moment getting ruined by the evil step-sister? Not top tier shit 😤

• WAIT, Hypaxia and Celestina?! Ok, that one I didn't see coming! Literally everyone in this fic book is in an arranged marriage and none of them want to be in it and honestly, I'm so tired of SJM using consent and rape as a plot device and barely ever touching the consequences

• Almost as sick as I am of Bryce and Hunt's sex drive. Shut the fuck up, honestly, you're insufferable!! I'm almost finished this book I think? I hope? And there's been barely any (worthwhile) plot whatsoever. I'm here for the smut, I love smut, but there is such a thing as too much and these two are so boring, I can't even. I'd rather eat stale bread, bye

• Lidia 😭😭 Imma take that as confirmation that I'm right and Day is the Hind. I have such a soft spot for the sister who was discarded and turned into a vicious little thing, may she get her own shadow wielder, she deserves it 😭🖤 Remi 🤝 Lidia forever

• "I don't have a foot fetish." You're BITING HER TOES 😭 I hate them istg

• Oh, we're talking about a war? Yeah, must be the last 200 pages.

• Tharion is such a fucking idiot. Maybe that’s why I ship him with Ithan—just...dumb and dumber.

• Baby Baxian being Danika's mate? Danika not telling Bryce a single thing? No, no, nope, not having it. Firstly, Baxian deserves better tbh. Secondly, Bryce is an idiot if she a) missed aaaall this and b) still thinks Danika was ever her friend, what a [insert c word here]

• It’s actually incredibly depressing how much emphasis she places on sex and the way the men are always thinking about sex. Like?? I’m not here for realism gal and I’d like a side of feelings with that. Ruhn is at least more interesting than Hunt in that regard, but still…ugh.

• “Your starborn bloodline specifically hailed from a small isle a few miles from the mainland….the isle existed in a near-permanent twilight” ACOTAR Dusk Court???

• Celestina being a backstabber? I was surprised tbh, you lulled me into a false sense of security in those many, many pages, good for you SJM, but also, fuck you for handing her someone as nice as Hypaxia, unless she's about to turn into a hidden psycho too

• YAY, the internet's worst kept secret is here! Hiiiii Rhysy! 👋🏼

• Also the internet: what if Azriel is Bryce’s real mate??? Me: what if Azriel and Bryce are related??? 👁️👄👁️ Not sure how my mind jumps to the complete opposite place of other people all the damn time but…here we are 🤷🏼‍♀️

Final impressions: • fuck that was a big book for not much happening • why the fuck did i ever need to find out anything about sofie or her brother at all, what a waste of time, really • danika's still winning the world's worst friend award, two books running • if i ever have to read about bryce and hunt having sex again it will be far too soon.

[ropebuny]

Thank god for ur recent asks cuz i felt like i was going insane with how terrible sooooooo many bdsm posts were on this site. Mood-killing cringe and pedophilia everywhere, cishets just can not post responsibly istg.

I genuinely feel like I’m going insane on here too. cause like there are pedos EVERYWHERE and they leave their likes and following lists open so you can see everything like I’m so confused it’s like they’re parading it ????? and I get weird freaks following me all the time and I think it might be because I post about ageplay and fauxcest and then it feels like I’m part of the problem :( like I just wanna explore my kink with other normal adults but it’s like half of the people into ageplay are just pedos

and the cringe comment is soooo real cause whenever I open tumblr I see people reblogging some cringy daddy dom post in red text and it getting thousands of notes. like huh….. why are those posts getting so much interaction and how do people genuinely find them hot ??? and aren’t like ew

and regarding the cishet thing, definitely lots of gross straight men on here 🤢 but I’ve unfortunately also seen lots of fellow people from the lgbt community be weird and gross and be exposed as pedos :( it’s like you just can’t escape it AT ALL

I remember when I was a kid and I found out about pedophiles and I was fully convinced there were only like. 3 pedophiles on planet earth or something. cause there’s no way there’s more than that right ???? like imagine being attracted to kids as an adult like no way there’s that many people who are weird like tjat. and I was fully convinced they were all behind bars too because I was so faithful in the good of humanity. turns out I was really naive and dumb and turns out there’s so many fucking pedophiles on every corner it’s actually insane

every day that I spend on tumblr is another day that I want to delete my account because all I keep finding is pedos and abusers and creeps on here and it’s like. what’s rhe fucking point of being on here if it just infuriates me

and whenever I make a post calling out a pedo it usually gets like no notes which is very disappointing and makes it that much harder to warn others regarding bad people on here and it’s just. so disappointing all around like everything