#men and their egos
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itsa-me-lily · 1 month ago
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So I wrote this during my lunch hour in a haze of fruit and inspiration. Thank you @kitsur for reading this over for me to check the ending and in general for hearing me go on my crazed cork board rants some days (most days)
This is a sequel to “That’s My Purse” and I really really encourage you to read part one because it sets all of this up. And maybe read this if the bed comment is confusing. Also thank you @nightunite for the original ask that lead to all this.
Here is the Simon & Thimble playlist
Here is the MPS AU masterlist
Content warning; cheating (kind of. It’s more non monogamy I guess and it’s very debatable if it’s even ethical because I really don’t think Simon would explain his arrangement to a stranger), fatphobia, misogyny, “bro language”
Alright, he could admit it. You weren’t the worst person to be married to. Though you were certainly in the running for most annoying. Always had some smart comment to say, acting like it was an Olympic sport you were aiming for gold in. Sometimes Simon just wanted to eat his beans on toast in god damn peace. Was that too much to ask for?
So yeah you seemed to always run your mouth with him, but sometimes you did say things that made logical sense.
He didn’t care about the whole demi-whatever thing you had explained to him, even if it sparked some sort of recognition in the back of his brain. You didn’t want to have sex with him, so he didn’t want to have sex with you, simple enough. And he could appreciate that you didn’t want the entire base to know he was being cuckholded, however willingly. Though he didn’t really care what people around him thought.
But he’d give what he got. The few times he did find someone that held some interest to him, in some after mission bar, he at least made sure there wasn’t a surface level connection to the base, or you. He’d go back to their place and then act like he had just gotten back from the mission when he went home the next morning. It didn’t seem to bother you and he’d figure you’d appreciate the extra night in the bed and not the pull out.
The first time he tried though, Price nearly put him on his ass. Pulling him to the alley outside the pub and shoving him against a wall, demanding to know if Simon was the kind of man to ignore his vows just to get his dick wet. Trying to explain your agreement with Price went phenomenally awful, and the captain wouldn’t look at him different until all three of you sat down and you confirmed that you were indeed okay with it.
And then of course it had to happen all over again with the other two chuckleheads he worked with. By the time you were having your third sit down with Soap you’d just handed him some informational pamphlet you cooked up. Always had to be cheeky you did. He didn’t think they really understood, but as long as they didn’t look at him like he was a scummy bastard he didn’t care.
So every now and again he’d find someone to follow back to theirs, just to blow off some steam, get rid of the twitch that lived under his skin. The sex was okay. Nothing to write home about. It got the job done.
It was what Simon was planning to do tonight. There was already some bird leaning against the bar, giving him the stare as she nibbled on the end of her drink straw. Plump little thing. But before he could get up to start his advance, voices behind him broke out in the loud drunk way young twenty-something men did when they had too much liquid courage.
“Listen man, pussy is pussy even in the dark”
“Yeah but you got some balls to go after Riley’s wife.”
That stopped him, keeping him glued to his seat. What’s this about you? Judging how Soap’s bottle paused at his lips though, Simon wasn’t the only one to hear it.
“Yeah well she found your balls lacking bro.”
There was mocking laughter from the table behind him. At least Simon wasn’t the only one catching casualties from your mouth. He was going to let it go, maybe just see who they were to keep in mind, when the ring leader decided to seal his fate.
“Yeah yeah. Fat cow’s acting all tough now but she’ll be begging for it sooner or later.”
No Simon didn’t notice how his grip tightened around his beer, tight enough that his fingertips turned white.
“Dude you think?”
No one in the vicinity heard how Simon’s chair scrapped violently against the ground as he stood up.
“There’s no way Riley is fucking that. Even with back shots she’s-”
No one at the other table expected Simon Riley to appear out of thin air, heavy hand coming down with a crushing force onto the man stupid enough to slander your name. Pearson. Of course it was. Jackass who thought he was god’s gift to everyone because Daddy had a bit of money and some girls let him stick it in once.
Yes, you had to have the last word all the fucking time. You had too much shit, and he honestly thought you were a little too obsessed with your guinea pigs.
But you always met him head on. Was so unapologetically yourself, laughing so loudly at terrible jokes even he got startled now and again. You respected who he was, how he was. Like hell he was going to let some personification of a left ballsack talk about you like that.
“She’s my wife”
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supernovadragoncat · 2 years ago
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I just keep thinking about how Ned refused Renly’s offer for help re: his plot to out Cersei and instead accepted Littlefinger’s offer to buy off the Gold Cloaks. The same dude who Ned mistrusted throughout AGOT. Yes, that guy.
And then ACOK opens with Stannis refusing to join forces with Robb or Renly because his man ego, middle child syndrome will not allow it. And this is after his attempts to gain support for his cause fail because no one likes him.
This is why I enjoy these books because it’s a series of stupid missteps that snowball into horrible outcomes.
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brbarou · 2 months ago
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weird girls with multiple personas....i love you....
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y-rhywbeth2 · 10 months ago
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Watching Gortash and his decidedly un-Banite desires to have his authority questioned, valuing and desiring the esteem of another, wanting the Child of Bhaal to step on him: having my Durge rub their bloody little hands over him while looking Bane dead in the eye as they - the barely-divine progeny of his inferior/subordinate - taint his investment/property with disloyal desires and feelings:
Does This Bother You, Lord Bane?
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classycookiexo · 3 months ago
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kingofmeatballs · 10 months ago
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He's a real party girl
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astercrash · 2 years ago
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Nothing quite like the bone deep fear of seeing a trans woman succeed at anything and knowing a bunch of losers are about to pretend their petty jealousy is feminist ideology.
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runespoor7 · 3 months ago
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Do think it's very crunchy that WWX only defends his new flavor of the month in the ancestral hall. Not himself. Not WN, to whom JC did arguably have a life debt and for whom WWX did dump JC. Not any of these old things; just the shiny new hot powerful protective dude that he doesn't have any meaningful preexisting bond with and that he's been falling for since returning and running away from his previous life.
Just the perfect, serene blank slate of novelty (and the guilty undercurrent of once again feeling something that isn't socially acceptable and won't be welcome).
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formulanni · 2 months ago
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Can we PLEASE make the f1 drivers do Mutton Bustin it would be so peak guys hear me out
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Cmon. I know yall want to see Yuki Tsunoda and Charles Leclerc doing this it’s a southern tradition
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drakaripykiros130ac · 11 months ago
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I just have to say this: Aegon the Usurper flying off like an idiot in battle while Rhaenyra does not, doesn’t make this guy a hero, nor does it make Rhaenyra a coward.
We need to set the record straight: Women don’t have to be warriors in order to be worth something.
This is just another proof of classic misogynistic thinking of TG stans. But they also prove to be highly subjective since they give “poor sweet innocent” Helaena a pass for doing absolutely nothing and being less than relevant even as a dragonrider. And as the ringleader of the Greens, I don’t think Alicent sat on a horse and rode off to battle in order to further her own ambitions. She started the whole mess and then hid behind her sons. Even after Rhaenyra took King’s Landing, the only thing Alicent could say was something like “Just wait till my son Aemond returns bla bla bla.”
Rhaenyra is a girl’s girl. Those who read the book understand that. The canon version of her never wanted to be a son (unlike the stupidity induced in that show). She was very feminine: always choosing to wear the best dresses with the finest silks, many pieces of jewelry, and she is highly interested in men. She was always proud to be a woman. She embraced it. She never tried to act like the opposing gender as a way to make others look at her as worthy of the throne.
I repeat: Rhaenyra was a girl’s girl and she was proud of it.
She was not a warrior. She never trained with a sword in her life, unlike her idiotic half-brothers. She was not even the type (unlike Princess Rhaenys). Rhaenyra spent her time doing girly things and riding Syrax.
Shortly before the war started, Rhaenyra suffered a miscarriage which greatly affected her health. She needed months to recover. This is the reason why she didn’t ride Syrax in battle, as confirmed in the book. It was not because she didn’t want to or because she refused to fight her battles herself (as I hear many TG stans claim in spite).
And even if flying hadn’t been detrimental to her health, why would she fly into battle? You think that is a smart idea? It’s brave, but it’s also stupid, and the usurper himself proved that.
Aegon the Usurper rode his dragon into battle to show that he’s a man’s man, and what did that get him? Injuries which prevented him from being able to move well enough in order to sit on the throne he stole. The only battle he actually won was against a baby dragon, Moondancer. A baby dragon who inflicted deadly wounds on Sunfyre and caused his death.
So tell me again how ‘intelligent’ the usurper was to fly off into battle himself and what exactly he has accomplished with that. What exactly is so “heroic” about that? The fact that he shows off his masculinity on a big bad dragon?
And of course do forgive a poor woman for not flying her dragon into battle like a crazy person after a miscarriage and several psychological blows in one go like her father’s death, her daughter’s death, her son’s death and the usurpation through which a faction of snakes stole the throne that belonged to her.
Do forgive her for lacking any combat experience because you know…she was raised a girl and has a girlish personality!
And do forgive her for not being an idiot and getting herself disabled, like her half-brother did.
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lobotomy-lady · 5 months ago
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I don't know if any single photo has ever sparked as much lasting rage in me as that pic of a man and his son gleefully playing in the beautiful turquoise sea while the mother stands on the beach in her full burqa
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hyah-through-hyrule · 8 months ago
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Why the fuck are there even terfs in the loz and loz au fandoms, Link has one of the most trans swag energies of all time, get out of here and go back to the Harry Potter fandom.
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Réchauffement climatique
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misandresther · 10 months ago
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The day men stop using their fists and dicks as weapons whenever their little fragile male egos are hurt, is the day pigs will fly. And that's when I might consider agreeing with "women are the emotional ones"
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shabeeboothedrawingender · 6 months ago
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Damien when he loses sight of William for two milliseconds:
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myfandomprompts · 1 year ago
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It's alright, we all know it's been a while since you had a bit!
Very important words from a very wise man.
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