#memes for prophet

[hpseeker99]

The Daily Prophet: Three people have reportedly broken into the Gringotts. McGonagall, scoffing: What idiots *Front cover on the daily prophet, showing Harry, Ron, and Hermione riding a dragon out of the building* McGonagall: Wait, those are my idiots

[saayatsumu]

everyone say: thank you, lilia!

[moresandmanstuff]

[tomicscomics]

01/19/2024

...but I am okay with that now.

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. Jonah is the guy who got eaten by a fish.  Classic story.  He was a prophet, but one day God gave him a mission he didn't want to take.  The city of Nineveh was being evil, and God wanted Jonah to tell them to stop.  Out of fear, Jonah instead hitched a ride on a boat headed in the other direction.  As the boat sailed, however, a storm appeared.  The sailors all assumed God was angry at Jonah, so they tossed him overboard and the storm ended.  Before Jonah drowned, God sent a giant fish to swallow him and keep him alive.  While stuck inside the fish, Jonah apologized to God for running away, and after that, the fish vomited Jonah up on the shore, and Jonah went to Nineveh and warned the people.  To his surprise, the people listened and changed their ways. 2. In this cartoon, Jonah warns the people of Nineveh to change their ways before God destroys them.  He lists a few ways God might exact His justice upon the city.  The last thing he mentions -- the fish thing -- sounds a little out of place as a punishment for a whole city.  That's because the fish thing is actually the way God acted His justice upon Jonah only a short time before he came to Nineveh.  Jonah is still a little bitter.

[artcinemas]

Vishnu, after knowing someone's got a very funny boon: READ YOUR CONTRACT FOLKS AND DON’T GET SCAMMED BUT IF YOU’RE A DEMON BE SURE AS HELL BITCH I’M GONNA LOOPHOLE THE FUCK OUT OF IT.

[doggirlnarcolepsy]

[selpuku]

cat rin

[yandereunsolved]

Legend of Zelda Villain(s) text posts | Part 1

[enbyfrogz]

I've come to make an announcement; Jesse Minecraft Story Mode is a bitch ass motherfucker, they pissed on my fucking wife. Thats right, they took their cube ass pixel dick out and they pissed on my fucking wife, and they said their dick was "This big" and I said that's disgusting, so I'm making a callout post on my minecraft server mod chat, Jesse Minecraft Story Mode, you've got a small dick, it's the size of this mushroom except WAY smaller, and guess what? Here's what my dong looks like: PFFFT, THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. ALL 4080 HD, NO SQUARES, NO PIXELS. Look at that, it looks like two balls and a lever. They fucked my wife so guess what? I'm gonna fuck the World. THAT'S RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the world. I'm gonna go higher. I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! YOU HAVE 23 HOURS BEFORE THE PISS DROPLETS HIT THE FUCKING WORLD NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I PISS ON YOU TOO.

[krillking]

[magick-memes]

[jukashi]

>tfw you have to be The Adult for an entire species

[bri-the-nautilus]

I found this on Twitter and I am fucking dying rn

[rat-prophetess]

Pathologic Classic HD + reductress headlines that I made on my phone during smoke breaks

I have several problems and I am addressing none of them

[thedeafprophet]

[infinitecyanroses]

Happy Halloween