#melone x Pesci

[lady-of-endless]

Things you do that make their heart melt

(La Squadra x reader)

Author's Note: Those are random but that's the point. I tried to be a bit explicit for those who are at the start of Jojo part 5 and maybe don't remember each character's Stand name or ability. I couldn't write this only for my 3 darlings from La Squadra as I started it because I love them all too much. Proud La Squadra stan. Excuse any grammar mistakes. Enjoy!

Risotto Nero

- How you can balance being serious and being affectionate so easily. This is something he admires a lot and wishes to be capable of too sometimes. Yes, he's a serious and stoic man but the whole La Squadra knows just how big his heart is. Sometimes Risotto wishes he could show a bit of affection to the ones dear to him. Risotto is a softie inside but the nature of his occupation forces him to be as reserved and stern as he is now.

- How you can protect yourself. Being a hitman is tough, nothing new under the sun, but being the leader of the team is even worse. It's hard to watch out for others when he also must make sure that everything is working out smoothly. But he cares about you and your safety so damn much it's almost dangerous. So seeing you handle enemies alone helps him fall asleep at night with fewer worries. Also, watching you fight and come up with strategies makes him smile slightly and so subtly that of course, no one can notice it.

- How you look dressed in black with silver accessories. Aesthetically wise, black is one of his favorite colors and no one can tell otherwise. When you decide to match him with a dark outfit, his gaze will follow you more than usual. Be sure of the fact that he'll use his Stand, Metallica, to give you subtle signals, or not so subtle, by pulling onto your belt or necklace.

(it's loving Risotto hours)

Prosciutto

- How you calm yourself down after an intense moment. Prosciutto himself is not proud of when he snaps at people, thinking that it's not graceful behavior so he starts studying you from afar while calming down. He analyzes your soft tone, your calm face but alert eyes after being harsh, to learn from you but he finds himself falling for it. Like his brother, he also craves a bit of softness in his life but will never admit it, not even to himself so seeing you simmer down and transform into someone calm and understanding makes him want your presence more.

- How you counter him when he is too cruel to his brother. He is harsh with Pesci and he knows it, but he thinks it's only for good. It's not about how you're stubborn enough to argue with him but about how it reminds him that if something ever goes wrong with him on a mission, someone else will make sure that his brother is still alright and progressing. Also, as you two are arguing, things get pretty heated in no time and as the distance between you closes in, everyone knows that it's better to leave you two alone.

- How focused you look when deciding on an outfit. That and how you ask him for an opinion. You can see him leaning back in an armchair just looking at you searching through your clothes with an amused but admirative look on his face. Prosciutto likes to make himself look presentable and if you do the same, he can't help but find that fact attractive. Plus he can play dress up with you without you even suspecting it and he can't get enough of it.

(why is he like that? Love him though)

Ghiaccio

- How you let yourself be angry sometimes. To him, almost anyone seems calmer than him, but seeing someone being as furious as him from time to time and that someone being you? That's new. It doesn't happen often and in some odd way, he finds it fascinating. As much as he enjoys teasing you, he'll never be the type to say "Just calm down" or "You're exaggerating" because he knows how much it enrages someone already angry to hear this. He will be very understanding when you're like that. Plus, if someone or something gets you angry, he gets angry too so it will end up with the two of you being a scary couple.

- How your eyes shine when you smile and your smile in general. He is baffled by how when your lips are curved into a smile, your eyes are radiant too. Usually, he uses this expressiveness of yours against you, teasing you about it but when you smile so warmly, he feels like he's looking at the sun and that's unnerving because it makes him blush. He can't understand it.

- How your nose scrunches when you get a brain freeze from consuming something cold. This along with how your cheeks and nose redden when you're cold. He rolls his eyes at himself for like such a shallow and obvious thing but can't help it. It's not how adorable you look it's more how no one notices such details but him. It's his guilty pleasure. He has a kink when it comes to your reactions to cold temperatures.

(ugh I love him so much it's pathetic)

Pesci

- How you encourage him randomly sometimes. Pesci's already having a hard time adjusting to hitman life and constantly being scolded by his brother. At first, when you encourage him, he's stunned, flustered, embarrassed even but in time he starts to feel so much better overall because of it. His stress goes down and he gets more confident and sure of his actions because of your praise.

- How you're kind to the innocent - animals, kids, etc. Since he followed his brother and joined the team, the shock from seeing so much violence in his life all of a sudden left a mark on him. When he notices you being soft to the innocent and helpless while still being a hitman, he starts to heal. His only wish is for you to keep this side of yours so he can keep his too.

- How peaceful you look while sleeping. Again, being in an Italian hitman team is not easy, it distorted any perspective on peacefulness he had before. Seeing you rest without a frown on your face reminds him that there still is peacefulness in this way of living.

Melone

- How you're intelligent enough but don't flaunt it. Sure, he likes good looks but that's not as important as intelligence, any type. Melone is a bit of a sapiosexual, he knows it. If you come up with smart questions during meetings, his attention is immediately on you from that point on until the end of the meeting. Also, if you're genuinely curious about how his stand, Baby Face, works, it only adds to your charm.

- How you pick up on his "di molto" catchphrase. Melone works a lot. I mean A LOT. Besides progenation, he's skilled at finding out hidden info about the target, too. But usually, he does it alone, no one accompanies him and sometimes he can't help but feel slightly ignored. So when you start spending enough time with him to start using his phrases, he starts to feel less alone.

- How you walk. Simple as that. He has been caught many times staring at how some people walk, it's a well-known fact. So if you walk a bit slower and move your hips a bit more intentionally, making it look natural, he's dead. To hell with the mission for a few moments of pure admiration.

Illuso

- How confident you are. You don't need him to hype you up and he won't, but you'll always catch him looking at you with a proud look on his face. However, not everyone can be confident all the time and Illuso knows it very well. When he finds you letting your guard down and looking disappointed with yourself, he'll act right away. He hates seeing you struggle with shallow insecurities as you are just so wonderful in his eyes...

- How you take time to relax. He always insists on you taking everything a bit more slowly, so when you finally do it, he's more than pleased. He likes to see your facial muscles loosen up, causing a relaxed expression. He wishes to see it more often and he wishes for you to prioritise taking care of yourself.

- How you study yourself in the mirror while getting ready. He will use his Stand's ability to enter that mirror's dimension just to look at you from that perspective. This applies to intimate moments as well, just a heads-up. However, his favorite moment to do that is when you're fixing your hair, there's something about it that he finds so damn attractive.

Formaggio

- How you focus on the mission at hand. That, and how serious you look while doing it. Don't get it wrong, he's also focused on the missions but he looks more laid-back, like a natural. He finds it funny and adorable how you look so stern and even suggest him to pay more attention.

- How you always mention Sorbet and Gelato after their death. Everyone knows that Risotto said to forget about it after the funeral to focus on getting back on track as fast as possible and avenging them afterward but to Formaggio, this never felt right. So when you mention a memory from time to time to everyone, his heart feels a little bit lighter.

- How you dance to your favorite songs. He thinks that the majority of members of La Squadra are too stiff and grim sometimes so catching you dancing around alone to your playlist makes him smile. For him, it's like a breath of fresh air. Expect him to join you.

[nicherayyy]

Imagine La Squadra with Teammate Reader who speaks Italian really poorly

Like, the team needs to speak to them super slowly with the most basic vocabulary ever (It makes Ghiaccio mad af because “IT’S JUST A SIMPLE PHRASE HOW CAN YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT???”)

And when the teammate tries to explain anything it mostly consists of “Uhhhhh… you know….. the thing……. this thing……”😭😭

[lasquadrasfuckhouse]

la squadra as 'babe im at the hospital' texts 🏥

[twiixr4kidz]

had a specific vision of giving the members of la squadra hugs......... have me being sappy over my boys

shoutout to those of you who followed during my naranchuu days when i was just a jjba blog LMAO (when my requests open back up please send me jojo asks i miss writing for jjba) (also assume that sorbet and gelato are still together in this i just wrote them seperately for the sake of giving them personalities outside of each other)

risotto nero:

a hug from the capo is a special thing to get.

they're suffocating in the best way from just how tall and strong he is

he'll let you bury your face into his chest as his fingers run through your hair

he always smells so comforting; he smells like home

some of his hugs will be coupled with a kiss on the forehead

others will be coupled with a "you're alright, i've got you"

prosciutto:

he says he's not a hugger, but the fact that he indulges so often says otherwise

prosciu's hugs are tender; so impossibly calming, you could melt in his arms

he keeps a hand resting on your lower back, the other running through your hair

he smells like fancy wine, expensive cologne, and cigarettes

he rocks you back and forth, telling you how much he loves you and appreciates you

pesci:

although nervous about them, he's such a huge hugger

he's big, warm, and so fucking cozy

pesci truly gives some of the best hugs imaginable

he hugs you to make sure you know you're safe with him; he'd never let anything bad happen to you, and if something bad DID happen, he'd make sure it'll never happen again

his fuzzy coat is just a plus!! take advantage of it and nuzzle your face into it, he thinks it's adorable

formaggio:

he's a big hugger, and all of his hugs feel almost playful

he likes to jump out at you and tackle you to the floor, peppering your face with kisses as he tickles your sides

formaggio hugs you a lot for his own comfort

he likes to shrink you down when he hugs you - it's like he's trying to swallow you whole

he's always so warm and cozy, and you if you aren't standing up, you'll be able to fall asleep on him

illuso:

believe it or not, he's shockingly clingy.

yes, he's a giant, cocky asshole who thinks he's better than everybody else. no, he can't get enough of your touch. those concepts can coexist...................

he likes to pop out from behind dark corners and wrap his arms around you tightly

illuso will bury his face in your hair, mumbling what you can only assume are compliments that he's too embarrassed to say out loud

his hands press tight against your sides, thumbs rubbing small circles on your waist

melone:

he gives some of the most comforting, genuine feeling hugs

sure, he might seem a little creepy on the outside, but he can read you like a book

he'll come up from behind you and wrap his arms lazily around your neck

"come here, tesoro. i know you need it."

and he's right damn near every time

sometimes he'll give you a gentle kiss on the cheek before wandering elsewhere

other times, he'll drag you to the couch and force you to cuddle with him

ghiaccio:

he's not good at hugs; he gets nervous and then he stiffens up and freezes

ghiaccio gives you the biggest hugs when you come back home from rough missions, though

his arms wrap around you tightly, face buried in your neck as angry worries pour from his lips - he thought you were a goner

he's scared that you're going to disappear on him, but hugging you makes him feel better

he's nice to hug in the summer months when the heat's getting to you

he's always nice and chilly and if it's you asking, he's happy to oblige (but he'll never say it)

sorbet:

similar to risotto, sorbet's hugs feel like he's suffocating you

he's built like a fucking wall; tall, broad shoulders, wide chest, very muscular

his hugs are few and far between, but he always hugs you like he's trying to kill you

he likes when you're giggling over being stuck in his arms, playfully scratching him and begging him to let go

he gives you a tight squeeze before letting you go, ruffling your hair before wandering off

gelato:

he gives some of the most playful, gentle, warm hugs you could ask for - ironic for such a cold-hearted killer

he likes picking you up and spinning you around before pulling you into his chest

he'll tickle you side with one hand while the other arm stays wrapped around your body so you can't escape his torture

he also likes to bite :3 every hug comes with a little nip on your neck just to hear your squeal

he drags you to cuddle with him after every hug though - you're just sooooo cute and cozy, he can't help it

[thus-wrote-mrs-zeppeli]

Hello! I have a request. Can I have some head canons about how La Squadra would react if you were disrespected by someone? Let’s say their s/o (preferably female) works at a cafe or restaurant and a rude customer throws the money at her, completely expecting her to pick up the bill from the floor (yes, that is a real experience I’ve had, unfortunately).

How would they react? What would they do afterwards or say?

Would really, REALLY appreciate it. Honestly, I wish someone had stood up for me back then.

Author’s note: Hey hey~

Thanks for the request~

Sorry no one stood up for you, what happened to human decency?

And I can totally relate, the entitlement of people is insane. Two days in to my very first job as a cashier I had a customer say some really atrociously awful things to me and I just took it because I didn’t know what else to do and afterwards my managers told me I should’ve called them wow. Like my manager literally wouldn’t repeat what the customer had said because it was so abhorrently inappropriate and disgusting.

So yeah. Respect employees, we’re all human beings here it’s literally so easy to Not be insanely rude.

Interestingly enough I actually had some thoughts on this written in my personal La Squadra notes, particularly in regard to Prosciutto since he gives me lots of thoughts about stuff similar to that, cool that I get to address that heh.

-La Squadra x female reader: When someone disrespects you

Content, PLZ READ: female reader who works as a waitress, discussion of unhealthy and toxic masculinity paired with sexism (Prosciutto), La Squadra is a group of (mostly) pretty aggressive men who act on that feeling so. Some canon compliant aggression, threats, violence and blood. They’re a group of assassins so Lots of Bad men doing bad things. Melone’s slightly perverse tendencies

Various scenarios involving rude customers, including the example in the ask.

Established relationship: dating/married depending on the character

Ok while writing this it’s finally really hitting me how bizarre it’d be to be a non stand user witnessing or experiencing a stand attack-

Reader is aware of stands and that her La Squadra man is a member of the Mafia

And attempts at Italian hopefully it’s correct but if not please lemme know!

Micro fics style

-Formaggio: Out of all the members of La Squadra he’s noticeably much more chill and relaxed than the others. But he’s still a proud member of the Italian Mafia. And you’re his girl. He’s no knight in shining armor or Prince Charming for you, he won’t intervene when there’s an occasional irritable customer giving you a bit of a hard time. He knows you can take care of yourself.

However, if some entitled customer has the audacity to go too far and say or do something Really disrespectful while he’s around, I think he has a preference for good old-fashioned humiliation, and only results to intimidation if they decide they wanna keep making a fool of themselves.

He plays it up like: “ooh, hey, if you wanted that pretty lady’s attention there are much better ways to get it, buddy.”

You don’t have to add anything. You resume work quietly, but keep your eyes and ears focused on him, in case he decided to get carried away.

After a little bit of back and forth with him using his usual coolness and charisma, the offender gets increasingly frustrated and flustered.

When your boyfriend’s finally had enough of this stupid game he stands up from his table. His playfully mocking expression remains, but his smirk shifts ever so slightly into something more sinister. “If you want we could just take this outside,” he says it so casually, with the tone of a man who wasn’t going to hold back if it actually did escalate into a fight. He was not bluffing at all either.

At full height and with the clear confidence that he was absolutely gonna win the fight, the rude customer wisely decides Formaggio was Not someone he wanted to mess with and awkwardly leaves the restaurant, Formaggio loudly exclaiming taunts as the guy skittered away with his tail between his legs.

He seems awfully pleased with himself after “defending your honor” like that. You let him enjoy that feeling, because honestly that was pretty well done and it didn’t get too ugly. He has some nerve expecting a bunch of praise from you for that though.

-Illuso: Someone saying or doing something rude to you is like insulting him as well. And his stand is uniquely qualified for an entertaining punishment against some arrogant idiot giving you a difficult time.

Illuso doesn’t say anything, but when you look over at him while some jerk is screaming his head off at you like it’s your fault his food took five minutes longer than usual to arrive, you see that he’s pretending to fix up his appearance in a fancy compact mirror you had gifted him on your one year anniversary.

You can tell immediately he’s actually angling it at the guy screaming at you so he can activate Man in the Mirror. You inwardly groan because honestly you welcome your husband’s interference, but it will be difficult to explain a man magically disappearing in the middle of a restaurant, especially while he’s causing such a scene with that excessive screeching.

All of a sudden…silence. Such a sudden silence that the sound of Illuso clasping his mirror shut is audible to you from where you’re standing. Of course all the customers were looking at that guy who was freaking out at you. And he literally vanished before their eyes. So you do the only thing you can think of and spread your arms in an exaggerated manner and go: “Ta-DAAAH~” like the supernatural disappearance was just a magic trick.

In a rather weak attempt to sell it, Illuso starts slowly clapping for you and commenting: “molto bene~”. You can’t muster an annoyed glare at him; the slight smile tugging at your lips gave you away. A few customers join him in clapping, a bit confused, but honesty just glad that the yelling has stopped.

Illuso’s version of torment is to leave the guy completely alone in the mirror world. Confusion combined with isolation is a cruel combination, and given his captor was Illuso who was absolutely bound to prolong the punishment because of his sadistic tendencies, you almost feel sorry for the guy.

“Make sure you let him go by this evening,” you remind him before you get back to work.

“Let who go, dearie?” he says, his acting pathetically bad.

Sigh. So he was going to play it that way…

“I’m serious,” you grumble.

“Me too.”

You meet his eyes at that remark, and his smug smirk tells you he wants to see if you’ll keep nagging him about it.

When you don’t indulge him he’ll get bored and let the guy go. Hopefully that brat learned a lesson. And if not, at least he has a story literally no one will believe.

-Prosciutto: Despite not being a very nice man to you, he’s got that ridiculous belief that only he’s allowed to be harsh to you. It’s “tough love” when he’s hyper critical of you or snaps at you for something small, but if anyone else does it to an excessive degree then it’s apparently unacceptable, rude behavior. Really it’s just his pride as a man and unhealthy view of masculinity that causes him to freak out when you’re disrespected. He’s your fiancé…By his logic, you need him to protect you, and it’s his job as a man to do so.

He’s a big hypocrite.

But at least he stands up for you.

You could usually feel Prosciutto watching when a customer started to get a little ornery with you. He wouldn’t always step in, unless something he deemed entirely disrespectful was said or done; he does think dealing with irritable people is okay for you until they get carried away.

It looked like he wasn’t going to intervene this time over the dirtbag being extraordinarily picky and fussy with you, just because he liked bossing essential workers around apparently. Prosciutto was listening, as usual, but didn’t seem too concerned, drinking his coffee disinterestedly. Until the customer decided to toss a crumpled up napkin at you when you turned around.

Ohhh boy, you didn’t even have to LOOK to know the coffee mug getting slammed down on a table was Prosciutto.

You debate what you should do. He strides past you, and you opt to just…hold still and listen for a moment. Pretend you don’t know him, and let him do whatever it is he’s about to do (though you have a pretty good guess what it is).

Despite all the tough talk he was doing before, that customer couldn’t hide the slight panic in his voice at Proscuitto’s sudden approach.

Unlike a lot of Passione members who preferred to hide their affiliation to the mafia, Prosciutto wasn’t nearly as subtle with that tailored suit, open shirt and the demeanor of a man who’s killed before and will kill again.

“Hey who the hell do you think you are?! Stay away from m-” the jerk’s nervous ranting is cut off by Prosciutto dragging him to his feet by the collar of his shirt.

“You dropped something,” Prosciutto says in that certain tone you’ve grown all too familiar with. He uses it often when he’s pissed off or teaching a lesson or both at the same time.

Before the man can even squeak out the beginnings of some sort of excuse or counter he’s gagging, and you turn around to stop Prosciutto from straight up choking the guy by shoving the same napkin he tossed at you down his throat, speaking about how disgustingly disrespectful it was to throw anything at a woman.

“Hey, I think he gets it,” you cut in.

You wonder if he’s actually gonna listen to you this time. For a moment it seems like he might ignore you and continue the lesson. But he decides you may have a point and that he’s not worth the trouble. Though it doesn’t stop him from roughly shoving the guy to the ground when he lets go of his shirt.

“Make sure you add an apology when you pay the check,” he says to the sniveling man on the floor desperately telling himself not to make a run for it like a coward now that Prosciutto’s back was turned.

You don’t know whether to smile or roll your eyes, knowing all your fiancé meant was that he better leave you a generous tip as compensation for such disrespectful behavior.

“Go smoke outside,” is all you say to him when you see Prosciutto reach for the pack of cigarettes in his jacket. He smoked when he was especially irritated; so he went through a lot of cigarettes. He waves his hand dismissively at you, but obeys and goes outside. Though he stays close to the entrance. He’s making it clear he’s not leaving til you’re getting paid well for all that trouble.

The guy ended up practically handing his wallet to you.

Prosciutto internally checks off his: do one good thing for his fiancée today mission.

-Pesci: He’s not the most confrontational of La Squadra, and there’s no love lost between the murderous members of the team beyond a mild respect for each other’s strength (and that’s only sometimes) but he’s more than familiar with how most of the other assassins handle disrespect or things they don’t like in public with violence and aggression (hard glares at Ghiaccio and Prosciutto in particular). And that usually results in them getting asked to leave the premises, how embarrassing-

He doesn’t want to embarrass you either when a particularly volatile customer started screaming at you and freaking out for no valid reason. But he can’t just sit there and let you take that kind of abuse either.

He tries to excuse you from the situation by calling you over to his table like he was a customer and it was something urgent. And well…it might just escalate the irritation of that insufferable jerk screaming at you but…

You go to Pesci anyways, opting to just ignore the jerk, pretending to be busy dealing with some made up issue Pesci was improvising.

To your surprise it actually kinda worked. The guy was steaming for a bit and yelling at you from his table but. You just ignored him. And if anything actually happened Pesci was 100% capable of handling it if he had to. He didn’t usually try to start fights, but if pushed he could absolutely finish them.

“Do you usually get customers like that?” Pesci asks with genuine concern in his voice once the guy finally gets mad enough to leave (without paying but that was a problem for later).

“Well…” more often than someone who doesn’t work in food service would think…

“Sometimes,” you admit vaguely, not wanting to worry him but not wanting to lie either.

He thinks you should find some different job, not that he’s actually in a position to suggest that given he’s literally a La Squadra assassin. And you’ve heard from the few times you’ve met with his coworkers that the money they make in the business of murder is minuscule all things considered. Honestly he should get a new job too. One that didn’t rely on the occasional commission and splitting a check with eight other people.

You both know it’s not that easy to just Find a new job. And he doesn’t think it’s a great idea to suggest you get more involved in Passione for quick but dirty money…sigh…no easy solution…

-Melone: Your boyfriend was the least confrontational man in La Squadra.

Usually you encourage him to not visit you at work…because he always stares at you in such a manner that your coworkers or customers sometimes warn you about a creep in the corner booth who’s been watching you for a while.

As someone who’s used to being yelled at (though only because he’s the one being a FREAK so it doesn’t Really count) he’s sure you can handle the occasional ornery customer who decided to raise their voice at you. He usually intervened only if you directly requested it, because more often than not you got annoyed at him for worming his way into your other problems. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t notice when he’s typing on his laptop at the restaurant you work at and someone starts destructively causing a scene all because you brought them the wrong brand of soda by accident. It’s been a long day, you’re tired, you’re working the evening shift and the restaurant’s about to close. So you don’t bother to try and appease this guy, you know he’ll just complain and give you a hard time no matter what you do. And he apparently took your: “I’m sorry, let me grab you the right one,” as disingenuous and insulting, because you didn’t call him “Sir”. You really don’t feel like dealing with this, and you’re about to just let it go until he has the audacity to knock the soda off the table and onto the floor, staining the floor and even getting soda all over your shoes.

God…just to humiliate you over something small-you find yourself quietly staring at the floor for a moment, trying to register what you should even do…bend over right now to try to salvage your shoes before the soda dried? You had napkins in your pocket. But then the damn customer won…

And you know Melone was watching everything. He’s so invested that he’s stopped typing.

Melone’s no gentleman, and has no shame, but he can’t just let someone get away completely with disrespecting his girlfriend…especially given he had bought those cute shoes for you!

You can only mumble Melone’s name quietly when he approaches the situation, his demeanor energized despite how late it was. You weren’t gonna deny him stepping in but saying his name was a warning not to be too weird.

He clicks his tongue, making a point to not even look at the jerky customer, like he wasn’t there, and focuses all his attention on you.

“You know those shoes weren’t cheap, tesoro mio,” he chides playfully, immediately plucking off some napkins from the customer’s table and kneeling in front of you so he can wipe your shoes clean himself.

You bite your lip. It might seem gentlemanly to onlookers, but you knew he was also using the opportunity to get close to your legs in public. But he manages to behave himself, even putting a few napkins over the spill on the floor once he’s done with your shoes.

When he finally stands back up, he makes a point of leaning very close with an especially devious look on his face.

“What a shame,” he says in a strangely exaggerated tone. “I think I’ll have to buy you a new pair of shoes…”

You just give him a confused look after reminding him you’re on the clock when he leans in for a kiss.

Then he wanders off. But at least he distracted the customer enough to dampen the worst of the disrespectful behavior.

You finish your shift. Melone was waiting for you outside with his motorcycle, as he’s your ride back to your shared apartment.

He looks especially pleased with himself.

“What’d you do this time?” you sigh and yawn, too tired to feel especially concerned with whatever he might’ve done.

“Your next pair of shoes is going to be Especially nice…I’ll even get you a pretty dress to go with them~” he licks his lips.

Under the dim light of the street lamp, you finally notice the wallet that he’s holding up. It isn’t his.

His little kneeling act by the table with the rude customer apparently had many purposes…your boyfriend really was quite a sly opportunist…

“Melone…” you were gonna chide him gently for taking the guy’s Entire wallet but…it was too late to start arguing with him, given he was your ride home. And you didn’t care too much about it in the first place, especially right now.

-Ghiaccio: Everything ticks him off so when you’re working you don’t mind if he doesn’t bother to stop by and say hi even when he’s in the area. He tends to get worked up about something minuscule even during quick visits. And your restaurant is quite popular with tourists, who he has a borderline obsessive type of hatred for. Yeah. You were okay with him NOT visiting you while you were working because inevitably one day he was gonna cause quite a scene-

You feel a very ironic cold shiver down your spine when you catch sight of a familiar red Mazda Miata going way too fast in the parking lot looking for a space to park.

“Dios mio…I don’t need this today…” you mumble to yourself, not realizing a particularly entitled customer was watching you act distracted for a moment by looking at a car from the window.

When you get to his table, you don’t really know what he’s yapping about when he says waitresses these days are SO ditzy and aren’t properly trained. You’re not listening too hard because you’re watching Ghiaccio walk past the window on his way into the restaurant. He gives you an acknowledging glance when he spots you, and it pisses off the customer even more because now he’s complaining about how completely unprofessional it was that you invited your boyfriend into the restaurant while you were working. You have no idea where this guy is even getting all these assumptions, or what was even so terribly wrong with the scenario he’s making up, so you don’t pay it much attention and just brush it off as the customer’s eccentric personality trait.

Until he says that if you were going to be disrespectful by inviting your boyfriend to work, you might as well look busy.

What a freaking idiot, waiting for Ghiaccio to walk in to the restaurant before literally throwing the money for his meal at you, completely expecting you to pick up all the bills.

Ghiaccio doesn’t even need to know the context to react (though it’s probably for the best he didn’t hear what started it because it’d just piss him off even more).

“Hey, hey, hey…” Ghiaccio’s voice from the entrance can be heard from half way inside the restaurant. “If you meant to give the money to her, it’d be MUCH more efficient for both of you if you just HANDED it to her, you freaking moron-“

Oh God, here we go…Ghiaccio wasn’t screaming quite at full volume as he speed walked to where you were standing, his hands twitching slightly, either oblivious or simply ignoring all the customers exchanging nervous glances as they watched him. He has to be literally the WORST AND the EASIEST member of his entire team to piss off…and when he got like this he sometimes didn’t even listen to you.

The customer glares at him, and dares to open his mouth to respond, but Ghiaccio’s rant wasn’t over and it just pisses him off even more to see the guy had the audacity to try and interrupt him.

“Ghia, hey-”

Yeah he was definitely not gonna listen to your attempt to calm him down. You wonder if he even heard you because he grabbed the guy by the back of the head while you were talking.

“IT DOESN’T MAKE ANY DAMN SENSE WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT! I MEAN, WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT OF THROWING MONEY ALL OVER THE GROUND?! YOU JUST GET OFF WATCHING HER WASTE A BUNCH OF TIME PICKING THAT ALL UP?!”

Was he…more pissed about the illogical nature of the behavior or the fact that you were being disrespected…?…It’s kinda hard to tell…this ornery yapper on even more ornery yapper violence was Quite a scene this early in the morning…

“DON’T YOU HAVE A LIFE, IDIOT? OR DID YOU GO OUT JUST TO KILL TIME BY POINTLESSLY INCONVENIENCING A WAITRESS?! YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE BUT SHE’S GOT AN ACTUAL JOB TO DO AND DOESN’T HAVE TIME TO PLAY 52 CARD PICKUP WITH ENTITLED JERKS LIKE YOU!”

It doesn’t even cross your mind that most people would be mortified to watch their boyfriend completely lose it like this in public, you’re so used to it at this point; you’re thinking about how it’s a bit hypocritical of him given how you’ve witnessed him Also going off on a poor server for nothing.

“GHIACCIO!” you finally make yourself shout, reaching out and grabbing the wrist of the arm he was using to hold the panicking rude customer by the back of the head.

You know Ghiaccio. He was about to slam that man’s head on the table.

“WHAT?!” he snaps, but when he whips his head, you can tell the raging blizzard of his soul wavered just a bit when he looked at you.

“Don’t…you’ll break the table, they’re flimsy…”

His physical strength always astounded you, given he wasn’t particularly large, and he wasn’t even resisting your hand on his wrist but you could still feel the power in his arm. “You already made your point…” you whisper, worried about getting in trouble for the scene he was causing.

“BUT-“

“Thank you, it’s okay…”

He REALLY has to debate it, but reluctantly releases the man with an irritated huff and an audible growl. Such a lucky guy…you were one of the few people who could get Ghiaccio to think before taking something too far.

“Is your shift almost over?” he asks, clearly still incredibly irritated, tapping his foot rapidly against the ground.

“About fifteen minutes to go.” You glance at the trembling rude customer, gazing wide eyed and flinching every time Ghiaccio moved in any way.

He checks his watch and the customer climbs further into the booth out of fear of the simple gesture, but Ghiaccio is forcing himself not to pay him any mind.

“I’ll wait for you in the car then.”

“Alright.”

As long as he left the restaurant…

Now everyone knew he was definitely with you in some capacity…damn.

He sends a pointed glare to a couple of the customers on the way out. A “gentle reminder” to keep manners in mind.

And when you give the rude customer one last look, you see he’s on the ground picking up the money he had tossed at you.

He’s trembling a bit. Probably from fear of Ghiaccio changing his mind and coming back to actually break his face. But he’s probably a bit cold too, just from coming into physical contact with Ghiaccio could leave anyone with a chill if he partly activated his stand while touching someone.

You really needed to have a chat with him about his temper but as the previously inconsiderate customer blubbers out apologies and begs you to protect him from your scary boyfriend while shoving the money (and a generous tip) directly into your hands you hesitantly decide today is not the day.

-Risotto Nero: He doesn’t go out in public often, but minus the whole “leader of an assassination division in the mafia with a truly frightening appearance” he’s a pretty normal guy. Keeps to himself and stoic, but he can hold a conversation. You’re fine with him not visiting you at work often, you get that he’s super busy, but when he does stop by you’re glad to see him (and he doesn’t cause any scenes. Bonus points for Risotto).

It was a slow morning for you, and he had finished an early morning mission earlier than he had expected. He even checked to make sure the diner you worked at wasn’t busy before he decided to stop in and see you.

Your face lights up when you see him, running over to him and giving him a quick hug, and bringing him a small cup of coffee on the house, allowing yourself a brief moment of respite to speak with your boyfriend. It wasn’t busy yet…there were only two other customers, but it was just your luck that one of them woke up on the wrong side of the bed and decided to come over and give you a hard time for taking a moment to spend with Risotto.

“Does your boss pay you to flirt with customers?”

You can’t even believe someone really came over just to say that to you. You weren’t even sitting down to talk to Risotto, and it’s not like you were being loud or obnoxious or anything.

“She’s doing her job,” Risotto points out with that signature stoic nature. The guy seems slightly put off by Risotto’s unique appearance, but was apparently in a bad enough mood to not back down so easily.

“If she was doing her job she’d be bringing me a refill and not wasting her time chatting with a guy she already served,” he points out indignantly. What an insane level of entitlement…Risotto seemed to think the same thing, though he wasn’t a fan of escalating things.

But this guy…he had some audacity talking to you like that.

Risotto puts his hands on the table, and stands up slowly, deliberately, to his full height, tilting his head slightly to better look the smaller man in the eyes.

“She’s just being polite,” Risotto corrects the man. His voice is still calm, but his speaking speed is Slightly slower. Paired with him purposefully emphasizing his full height, the warning that he wasn’t going to stay civil for much longer was clear.

The unwanted visitor inwardly debates for a moment, visibly shaken from Risotto’s intimidation but absolutely too embarrassed to just back off now.

He foolishly decides to keep going.

“She-” he’s cut off by an almost explosive gush of blood coming out of his own nose. You gasp at the suddenness, but instantly realize what’s happening. He slams his hand over his nose, the blood not stopping that easily, almost immediately leaking through his fingers.

“Oh…” Risotto remarks with obviously fake concern, leaning in as if he were examining the “mysterious” nosebleed. “You’d better take care of that before you get blood all over the place…” he states the obvious with complete unconcern.

It was admittedly a bit funny to watch that jerk sprint to the restroom clutching his bloody nose.

There is a minuscule tug to the edges of Risotto’s lips.

“Risotto! Sudden unexplainable nosebleeds aren’t funny at all,” you chide, despite not feeling an ounce of pity. It’s not like Risotto was trying to kill that guy, if he was he would be bleeding out on the ground right now. The goal was just to embarrass him a bit, and he definitely succeeded.

“I think that was just a suitable divine punishment,” Risotto replies with a shrug, as if his stand, Metallica, had nothing to do with it. It’s subtle but…you can tell he’s irritated someone really had that kind of nerve to bother you for no reason. But you won’t let it ruin his whole day, reminding him that you got off work early today and you’ve been really excited to finally have some free time to spend with him.

Author’s closing note: I hope this could bring you some entertainment~it was enjoyable to write and consider how a few of them could use their stands to mess with people but wow I was being sent back to my first job on occasion with some of these customer characters, sheesh-

[vixensmart]

La Squadra x Reader: Watching Your Drink

A/N: CW for drugging/slipping things into your drink.

Context: You and your S/O decide to go out for the night to a bar. For a moment, you excuse yourself and ask them to watch your drink while you're gone.

Risotto Nero

Risotto places his hand over your drink and pulls it closer to him. He knows he looks scary enough to deter any potential creeps from even thinking about slipping anything into your drink, but he's still vigilant. He's got a deadly stare going on, ensuring he intimidates anybody with ill intent from an attempt.

If anybody has the balls to try and slip anything into your drink, they're dead. You'll know it was Risotto's doing, too. The person will have razor-blades growing out of their eyes, or a pair of scissors stuck in their throat, or something of the sort. He commits these acts quite coldly and calmly, which frightens the other patrons at the bar. However, no one really has sympathy for someone who was trying to spike a drink, so the creep is quickly forgotten about.

When you return to your seat, Risotto will pass your drink back to you. It was well protected. But the rim of your glass is warm.

Prosciutto

Prosciutto takes your drink and places a napkin on top of it, keeping a watchful eye over it. He neglects his own drink for a while, feeling as though he might forget about yours if he indulges too much. Anyone who seems suspicious, he keeps an eye on.

If he finds someone trying to get to your drink, he'll use Grateful Dead to age them to death. And not quickly. Prosciutto is not one to throw any punches at the creep. He much prefers to make them suffer for ever thinking they could drug his S/O and try to harm them.

Prosciutto removes the napkin only after you've sat down again. He reassures you nothing happened to your drink while he kicks some dust under the bar.

Ghiaccio

Ghiaccio takes your drink into his hands after you excuse yourself. He thinks about freezing it, but remembers alcohol can't exactly freeze. Instead, he freezes the condensation on your glass and turns it into a protective barrier. Nobody is getting past that. Not on his watch, at least. Anyone whose eyes linger on your drink is getting the signature Ghiaccio death stare, which is usually enough to deter any creeps.

If someone is desperate enough to bring a heat gun or a hair dryer to try and spike your drink, Ghiaccio still has the situation under control. Unlike Prosciutto and Risotto, he won't kill them. Rather, this hot-head will scream at the top of his lungs and bring all the attention in the room towards the offender. Most likely, no hands will be thrown. The offender is usually so startled and embarassed, they get the hell out of dodge.

Once you return, Ghiaccio unfreezes the ice around your drink so you can continue enjoying it. You're astonished at the fact that your drink feels a lot colder than when the bartender served it to you.

Illuso

Like this asshole wouldn't just let your drink get spiked on purpose

Illuso is quite nonchalant about the whole thing. He doesn't cover your drink with anything, or make any moves to pull it closer to him. You worry he might not be paying attention, but he is. Illuso is confident he can keep your drink from being messed with without much stress. He's using the mirrors around the bar to watch any person who might be eyeing your drink a little too hard.

If someone should attempt to put anything in your drink, Illuso will catch them and pull them into the mirror world with him. He won't kill them, but he will rough them up a bit and frighten them. He's a big man, and he knows he can handle it if they should fight back. After a little beat down and a couple threats on their lives and families, he'll toss them out of the bar himself.

Illuso will proudly tell you about the poor excuse of a human he just tore a new one. All while he has a new drink for you, instead of the one you had been drinking. He won't admit he took his eyes off of it to beat the hell out of the person who tried to spike it, and forgot someone else could have tried to spike it while he was busy.

Pesci

Pesci goes all out when protecting your drink. He keeps it with him at all times, and never takes his eyes off of it. He places a coaster over the top, and covers it with his hand for good measure. Even given all the protection he's given your drink, he's still nervous about someone trying anything. He doesn't want you to get sick, or hurt. Anybody who looks suspicious gets watched like a hawk.

If someone does try to distract him to get something in your drink, he won't let go of the damn thing. You entrusted him with the safety of not only your beverage, but you as well. He's not going to start a fight, but he will tell the bartender (and maybe Prosciutto) what they're doing. He'll get them kicked out so you won't have to deal with them. Even after the creep is gone, he's still apprehensive that he might have taken his eyes off your drink for only a second. He asks the bartender to get you a new drink, just in case.

You'll return to the bar with a brand new drink waiting for you, and a nervous and flustered Pesci explaining the events that just transpired.

Formaggio

Formaggio places a relaxed hand over your drink and won't stress over it being tampered with. He doesn't think anyone will mess with it if he's got it. Plus, his hand is over it, so he thinks he'll feel it if someone tries to put something in it.

If someone does try to mess with your drink, they'll be caught by Formaggio. At first, he'll tell them to fuck off and shove them away, still remaining quite pleasant. If they don't take the hint, he'll get a bit more aggressive. If they still insist, he'll shrink them down and, quite hilariously, drown them in your drink. He can't contain himself. He's laughing like a maniac, but everyone around him can't really tell what he's laughing at. The patrons and the bartender are a bit weirded out, but they resume their own business, thinking he's just drunk.

You'll come back to a new drink. When you ask Formaggio why you have a new one, he'll brush it off by saying it spilled when some guy tried to mess with it. He won't tell you

Melone (the reason you need to cover your drink)

All jokes aside, Melone, as lascivious as he might be, will take your drink and place it next to his. He might take a curious sip of it to sample the taste, but that's the extent of his tampering with your drink. He keeps the glass close and watches it. Any suspicious faces at the bar are noted, but he doesn't watch them intently.

If someone tries to spike your drink under his watch, they can expect Baby Face to visit them later. Melone doesn't usually opt towards physical confrontation, but he won't sit idly by while someone tries to take advantage of you. He'll find a way to injure them after confronting them for their act. Once he's got a bit of their blood, they're history.

You come back to a very relaxed Melone, who passes your drink to you. He'll tell you that someone tried to spike your drink, but that they're nothing to worry about anymore. With a sly smirk, he'll admit to taking a sip of your drink, and offers you a taste of his to make it even.

[kujainvidiata]

✂️ La Squadra Esecuzioni ✂️

This was a lot of work. I also did as You see a Version with and without my OC Cappuccino.

More content under the cut ‼️

Also included a silly post since I needed to do that

[soupbabe]

Could i request La Squadra reacting to their s/o, also part of the team, being super affectionate and loving while drunk? Like they're generally stoic with the hitman temperament, but still soft with them

Pls and ty!

Drunken Affection with La Squadra

- I feel as if there's two main groups these men fall under: there are those who love it and those who are deeply concerned

- Formaggio, Melone, Pesci, Prosciutto love to see you so clingy and lovey dovey!!

- It's no secret that the first two listed are also clingy and like to see it reciprocated

- Formaggio and Melone love to take as many pictures and videos as they can so they can tease you for it later, especially if you don't remember much of the night before

- They absolutely revel in it, all the times you pushed them off your lap means nothing to them if you're the one climbing into his for one night only

- Pesci and Prosciutto are just as happy about it, but it takes them a while to fully lean into your sudden shift in personality

- For Pesci it makes him nervous. He's never been composed when it comes to affection, he has to have a couple of drinks himself to build up some confidence

- Prosciutto just has trouble letting himself let loose and embrace your bubbly nature

- Illuso, Ghiaccio, and Risotto are a lot more wary of your behavior

- Seeing you so drunk immediately makes Ghiaccio and Risotto concerned, seeing this new side of you is, and I mean this in the best way, unnerving.

- If you're out at a bar or in public, it is their sign to take you home and help you sober up

- They can't deny it's a bit funny and you'll still manage to fluster them, but their first concern is making sure you're actually okay

- Illuso is still concerned, he isn't the most outwardly affectionate and prefers a partner just like him, but he's a lot slower to react

- Unless you're trying to make friends with some strangers, he will sit back and observe the drunk version of you.

- If he could he'd put you in a glass jar and watch you. He can't deny it's amusing.

[naomijoestar]

Can you make one where it's La Squadra reacting to the reader having a freaky looking moving doll stand?

Masterlist here <3

HELLO omg I love this so much! I seriously enjoyed writing this sooo soso much I hope you enjoy, also you might find that this post differs a bit in writing style, but I got a bit carried away I guess and made it silly, I hope you enjoy nonetheless and if you’d like anything changed you can always message me!

La squadra reacts to reader having a creepy looking doll stand

Let’s say your Stand is a small, doll-like creature with jerky, unnatural movements—like something that crawled out of a cursed VHS tape. It has glassy, unblinking eyes and twitchy little limbs, like it’s about to start speaking in tongues. Oh, and it moves on its own. Not normal Stand movements. No, it skitters

Risotto Nero

At first, he doesn’t react—Risotto is, of course, a stoic wall of a man. But the second he sees your freaky little Stand shuffle into the room like chucky, his eyes narrow

“…Explain.”

It’s not fear—oh no. It’s suspicion. He immediately assumes you’ve been hiding this thing deliberately to mess with him. And when it starts crawling UP THE WALL, he just deadpans:

“Kill it.”

Risotto will try to put it out of its misery (or his own) if it gets within five feet of him

Prosciutto

Prosciutto prides himself on being cool, collected, and mature. But the minute your Stand skitters across the table like a spider in a cheap haunted house, he lets out the most undignified noise you’ve ever heard

“Che cazzo è quello?!”

Suddenly, Mr. Cool Guy has his legs tucked up onto the chair, scowling at your Stand like it insulted his family. He points an accusatory finger at you

“Why does it move like that? Fix it.”

When you explain that it’s supposed to move like that, he just mutters, “You need better taste in Stands.”

Pesci

Poor Pesci. Your Stand exists, and that’s already too much for him to handle. He sees it for half a second, shrieks like he’s in a slasher movie, and nearly falls backwards out of his chair

“Why is it looking at me?!”

You assure him it’s harmless. The Stand then proceeds to tilt its head unnaturally far to the left, and Pesci just bolts

You now have to chase him down to tell him it won’t eat him. Pesci will not recover from this for days

Melone

Melone is fascinated. Absolutely enamored. He gets way too close, watching it twitch and crawl with genuine delight

“Incredible. Its movement is so unnatural! What do its abilities do? Does it make people uncomfortable on purpose? That’s brilliant.”

He will follow you around for the rest of the day asking a million questions, mostly things like, “Does it talk? Can I touch it? What happens if I poke it in the eye?”

Please do not let Melone near it. He will absolutely try to run experiments

Ghiaccio

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!”

Ghiaccio’s reaction is instantaneous and LOUD. He jumps out of his seat and starts pacing around the room, ranting at 200 miles an hour

“It’s crawling on the goddamn ceiling! WHY IS IT CRAWLING ON THE CEILING?!”

You try to explain, but Ghiaccio is too busy actively losing his mind. He points aggressively at your Stand

“I don’t care if it’s yours—it’s freaky as hell, and if it comes near me, I’m icing it.”

(He spends the next hour side-eyeing it and muttering under his breath.)

Formaggio

Formaggio is laughing so hard he’s crying. He LOVES your creepy little Stand

“This is the best thing I’ve seen all week. Look at this guy!”

He starts trying to play with it like it’s a toy, sticking his finger out to see what it’ll do. When it grabs onto him (with its weird little twitchy doll hand), he screams

But then he laughs even harder. “Oh my god, it’s even freakier up close. I love this little guy.”

Formaggio now calls it “the homie” and tells everyone it’s his new best friend

Illuso

Illuso’s all smug and dismissive about it at first

“Tch. It’s just a Stand. Nothing impressive.”

And then it turns its glassy head to look directly at him

Illuso freezes. For the first time in his life, he doesn’t have something snarky to say. He just stares at your Stand, and your Stand stares back

“Stop looking at me.”

It doesn’t stop

“STOP LOOKING AT ME.”

Illuso will insist he’s not freaked out, but he is visibly uncomfortable. He avoids eye contact with your Stand for the rest of eternity

Sorbet and Gelato

(This is the first time I write for them so I’m sorry if it’s not accurate)

Sorbet and Gelato are thrilled. They think your Stand is the funniest, most unsettling thing they’ve ever seen, and they are here for it

Gelato keeps trying to make it dance by waving his hands in front of it. Sorbet bets him 50 bucks that he can’t make it do the worm

They’re both crying-laughing when it skitters sideways like a crab

“This thing’s a menace. I love it.”

I hope you enjoyed this cause I definitely enjoyed writing it!

If you enjoyed this make sure to check out my other posts, and if you’d like anything specific written for a jjba character/squad you can request it if my requests are open!

[chronicallyonline101]

"you're two days late!!" actually, no, Christmas is today. what are you talking about? today is the 25th of december. im not lying.

ALSOOO everyone thank @diol0verr669 for helping me write this! And thank @pierslover061 for proof reading it even though its like 11pm and he hasnt even watched jjba p5 yet

A Stupid Christmas

The Dumb Killers Christmas special.

This is a short little oneshot set in the universe of my x reader fanfic: Dumb Killers, you don't have to read it to understand this little oneshot but there may be some references that are difficult to understand!

La Squadra Di Esecuzioni x Fem!Reader ||

Christmas, or, Natale, was no trivial matter. In Italy, festivities began at the very earliest in December with the feast of Immaculate Conception and ended at the start of January. In this month, dedicated to gift-giving and merriment, family was the centre of all love and care. Locals would typically head home to their families; grandparents, aunts, uncles, children and adults all united under one roof to share stories from their year apart. 

In Italy's criminal underworld, this was a long sought after privilege. Family; friends; anyone with the capability of becoming extra baggage was cut off in due time for the safety of both themselves and the one involved within Italy's underbelly. La Squadra Di Execuzioni - otherwise known as The Hitman Team or The Execution Squad - was no exception to this rule. The members of this team had only each other, and though they were an unruly bunch of misfits - contrasting from one another in great leaps - the way they celebrated the festive season was almost domestic. 

"I told you; these colours are tacky!" It was late in the afternoon when Prosciutto's loud, authorative voice cut through the once still air of the hideout. 

Wind howled from the harsh world outside as he battled his way inside the hideout, slamming the front door shut behind him violently. Though the weather was mostly warm, winters could grow bitter in Napoli and as a result, he'd wrapped himself warmly in a snug scarf and hat. 

In his arms, he bore several bags of groceries. Groceries that were quickly thrown to the side when he caught wind of Formaggio and Illuso meddling with the decorations he had so delicately put in place. The shorter of the two, Formaggio, was balancing atop of the other - a string of brightly coloured LED lights clutched tightly in his palms. They looked to the blond like two deer caught in headlights: 

"Put those lights down." He then commanded, tearing the scarf and hat from his body and dashing them to the ground with his supplies before promptly marching toward the two. "How many times do I need to catch you like this for it to get through to you that---" 

"---Oh, come on, Pros." Formaggio groaned, throwing the LEDs to the floor. He brought his hands down to rest atop of Illuso's head. "The rainbow lights are so much prettier, it looks better than those bland ones you have up right now." 

A sneer etched its way into Prosciutto's typically stoic features. "The white lights are elegant. Far more fitting for a a traditional holiday. I'm not going to argue this any more." 

A simple tut and a firm shake of his head was all he needed to showcase his disapproval for the two's mischief. With cracking knees, he bent down to pluck up the LEDs that Formaggio had carelessly thrown to the floor - not caring for the annoyed huff Illuso let out. 

"While I agree the white is softer and more elegant," He began, carelessly throwing Formaggio off of his shoulders. "It's so very bland. Maybe a yellow or pink tint would do better to liven the place up, hm?" 

Both he and Prosciutto chose to ignore the pained groan Formaggio let out and instead looked around the room. 

Prosciutto was firm in his belief that Christmas was a traditional holiday, and as such should be celebrated traditionally. He had decorated the hideout well for the occasion: a small pine tree sat in the corner of the living area, decorated in soft white lights and dark red tinsel, with the occasional baubel and cross hung atop of its branches. He had strung a long green wreath across the banner of the staircase, tied eloquently with silvering ribbons and scarlet berries. Blue and white seemed to be a common theme weaved within his Saintly memorabilia, a showcase of their Latin roots. 

He had let no one else involve themselves with the decorating. He needed everything to be perfect, and in his eyes nobody else on the team was as coordinated and polished and himself. Because of this, all month since putting the decorations up, you, Formaggio, Illuso, Gelato and Sorbet had been trying to replace his traditional dream with something more modern. He resented it, and so while scrunching his nose up into a grimace, Prosciutto shoved the rainbow LEDs into the unprepared hands of Illuso. 

"The white is supposed to look like snow." He shifted around to grab at the items he had thrown to the floor, placing his hat and scarf atop of the coat rack. "Quite frankly, if I saw yellow snow, I'd think it was piss." 

That brought forth a snort from Formaggio, who was still on the floor, and made Illuso roll his eyes. Prosciutto ignored their childish behavior, offering you a nod as you - with wide curious eyes - slowly decended the rotting staircase and entered the main living area. 

"What's going on?" You inquired, tone sweet despite the heavy irritation that hung in the air. 

Prosciutto picked up his groceries. Last minute deals for the dinner he was to prepare that night - typically, he would never be so unprepared, but with the cuts to their budget he would take any chance needed to save a few lira on nnecessities. He chose to brush off the tiff that had occured only a few seconds before, offering you a meagre glance before walking in the direction of the kitchen. 

Your brow quirked at the action. You turned to look at Formaggio and Illuso. "What's his deal?" 

"Ugh, nothing. Just Pissy Prosciutto, as per usual." Formaggio rolled his eyes, his sarcastic comment bringing forth short snickers from both you and Illuso. 

"You two were trying to change the decorations again, weren't you?" Another voice broke through the air, bringing forth a startled yelp from Formaggio. 

Decending the staircase in tow with Melone, was Ghiaccio. He held a bored expression, looking to the three of you with a mild furrow in his brow. "It's getting old now. Try something new." 

"Hey, you're getting old." Formaggio then huffed, crossing his arms over his chest defensively. His words made Illuso wince, as if he knew what was coming next by the way Ghiaccio's expression pinched in frustration. 

"What?" He started, full offense lacing his tone. "That makes no sense! I'm younger than you by several years, which means that in the context of---" 

"---Let's not do this today," Melone hummed, promptly pushing Ghiaccio to the side so that he could hover behind you. You offered him a playful smile, to which he returned gratefully. He then looked to the rest of the group. "Have you lot seen Gelato and Sorbet? I have some information to give them regarding a new hit."

"You're all work, no play." Illuso spoke, a sly smirk spreading across his lips. "They aren't here. They're celibrating at their own apartment - take a break from your job, Melone."

Melone clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. His plans to get this job done before the New Year sullied by Gelato and Sorbet's privy to party. Nonetheless, he found Illuso's comment to be demeaning; his lips parted to argue that his focus was what aided the group in their hits, but was promptly cut off by you. 

"What are they celebrating? Is it their anniversary or something?" You cocked your head to the side in curiosity. The four other members looked to you as if you'd just chopped off your own head. 

"(Y/N)," Ghiaccio started. If his brow could furrow any further, it would. "You do know what day it is today, correct?" 

You blinked. Once, then twice, not catching the concerned glances each of them threw each other. "It's Tuesday. Why does that matter?" 

"No," Illuso was the next to speak up. "The day, do you realise what day it is?" He emphasised his words as he spoke, trying to push you into realising just what was special about that day in particular. 

"It's Tuesday. I already told you that!" You huffed at them, clenching your fist in anger. You hated it when they did this - when clearly they knew more than they were letting on, but refused to tell you. When no one spoke, you mulled over what to do next - and then it hit you, you smiled. "It's Tuesday, December twenty-fifth!"

Formaggio lunged forward, grabbing you by the shoulders and shaking. "(Y/N)! It's Christmas!" 

And at his words, your eyes suddenly blew wide, shifting to look at Ghiaccio when he began to speak. "And it's Wednesday, not Tuesday. Where the fuck did you get Tuesday from?"

Your lips parted into a curious 'o', eyes blowing wide in sudden surprise at the news they had shared. 

"Wait, it's Christmas?" There was a short pause, the others looked to you as if you had gone insane. When suddenly, you slapped your hands to your cheeks in shock. "It's Christmas! Oh my God! I haven't wrapped anyone's gifts!" 

A hearty chortle left Illuso. "You've left it a little late---" 

But he was quickly cut off by Ghiaccio, who scoffed. "---Eugh, I just hate the whole consumerist ideology behind Christmas." Crossing his arms over his chest, he rolled his eyes to the side. "There's nothing genuine or nice about fighting to see who gets each other the best gifts. It's shitty. I've never liked it." 

"What are you talking about, Ghiaccio?" Melone huffed, pressing a hand to his hip nonchalantly. "It's a nice time to get everyone together." 

"No," Ghiaccio shook his head. "It's expensive and unnecessary. I mean, especially in our situation - we can't afford to be spending so much money on each other." He pointed at Melone peculiarly, a quirk in his brow. "Surely you understand this; weren't you and (Y/N) homeless?" 

The purple one shrugged his shoulders. "Well, yes, but we still had fun." 

His brushy gaze turned to look at you, soft and appreciative. You nodded your head along with his words. "Yeah, there's no reason to be grouchy, G!"

You wafted a dismissive hand in his direction. "Plus! I'll have you know, I spent nothing on gifts this year! They are all hand made!"

"And I had Junior steal mine." Melone nodded his head along with your words, tapping his foot on the floor to contain his excitement. 

Upon hearing the news of your gifts, Formaggio let out an excited gasp. "Shit, really?" He leant close to you, a bright grin spread across his lips. "What'd you two get us!?" 

You huffed. Crossing your arms over your chest and turning away from him in spite. "Not saying." 

"Oh, come on Tesoro, don't you love us?" It was Illuso who spoke next, shimmying closer to your side and placing a delicate hand atop of your shoulder. 

"Nuh uh." You shook your head. The two continued to pry at your mind for a few more seconds before Ghiaccio eventually stomped his foot against the ground. 

"See, this is what I mean, you don't care about the tradition you only care about getting presents! It's bullshit!" He let out a drawn out grunt, utterly disappointed yet unsuprised with how little his team cared for the holidays. 

"But Ghiaccio," You whined, taking a step toward him to grasp at his sweater. "You can't hate Christmas! It's the jolly season---" 

"---Don't get all sappy with me." He brushed your hand away, grimacing with palpable distaste. "This isn't some kids Christmas film; I don't need you to show me the spirit of Christmas, or whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean - I mean, it's stupid. Even if spirits were real, which they aren't, Christmas is a physical holiday and can't have a 'spirit.' It's idiotic and I think you're all stupid for---" 

While he began to rant and rave, you swivelled around to look at your three other friends. Each of them, Melone, Formaggio and Illuso, held expressions of equal concern. 

"You guys," You whisper yelled, teetering closer to them so that Ghiaccio would be unable to hear you. "We need to help him learn how to love Christmas! He's obviously never had a good Christmas before---"

"---What makes you think that?" It was Illuso who cut you off this time, his brow quirking curiously. You had made a rather callous assumption - there were many reasons as to why Ghiaccio did not like Christmas, and yet you seemed confident in your statement.

You hummed, lowering your gaze to the floor. "Well, because... when I was a young child..." 

"We don't need a monolouge, babe." Formaggio wafted his hand in your direction, using your wistfull pause as a means to try and shut you up before you had the chance to start spilling random stories from your youth. 

Fortunately, you had Melone at your beckon call. He glowered in Formaggio's direction, offering him a short slap on the shoulder before blurting out: "Let her talk!" 

"Thank you, Loons." You nodded your head thankfully in his direction. Then, placed your hands over your heart thoughtfully. "When I was a child, I hated Christmas." 

Both Formaggio and Illuso gasped. You nodded your head solemnly. "I know... it's shocking. But, well, my parents hated each other and they'd always spend the entire day arguing! They used to lock me in my room with all of my new toys, because they assumed I'd be busy playing with them and wouldn't be able to hear them fighting..." 

You frowned at the memory. The time you spent with your family was something you tried not to recall; those sleepless nights arguing and sobbing were long gone, and you had a new familia to spend these events with. You had to focus on the good that was happening now, rather than the bad that happened in the past. 

Such was why, when Formaggio let out a small: "That's... sad. What changed?" You let a genuine smile slip across your lips, moving over to grab at your purple friends shoulder and hug his side. 

"Well, I met Melone." You moved up to kiss at his cheek, causing him to grow a little flustered under your attention.  "Even if Santa stopped giving us gifts, living with Melone taught me that---"

"---Wait, wait, wait!" Formaggio waved his hands in a 'stop' motion, his brow furrowing in question. "What do you mean 'Even if Santa stopped giving you gifts,' (Y/N), don't tell me you still believe in Santa?" 

You looked him up and down. "Well... yeah? You don't?" 

Formaggio tried so very hard not to laugh. He should've been given a reward, for he held his breath for so long his cheeks turned red. When he could hold his howling cackles for no longer, he curled in on himself and clutched at his stomach in agony. 

"Pffft-! Why do you think he stopped giving you gifts for Christmas?" Was his question, because it seemed stupid that you'd still believe in Santa. You frowned at his insistent mockery. 

"Well... I killed a guy when I was fourteen, and that's like, a sin or whatever." You shrugged your shoulders. "Santa stopped giving me gifts after that." 

More laughter fell from Formaggio's lips. He sounded like a broken bottle of window cleaner, wheezing and coughing from the sheer force of his laughs. When he peeked up at you, he took note that Melone was also frowning, more giggles slipped from his throat. "Melone... do you also...?" 

"Of course I do." The purple one in question nodded his head at the question. "We don't get gifts because we're Hitmen, and so are on his naughty list." 

At this new revelation - that one of the most logical, intelligent and calculated men on the team still believed in Santa - Formaggio fell to the floor in utter shock. Illuso looked to you both with eyes splayed wide. He could believe you, you were stupid, but Melone? It was a surprise. With a furrowed brow, he tried to reprimand you both: 

"You are both twenty three! Why the fuck do you still---" 

"---No, no, Lucy. Let's hear them out." But he was cut off by Formaggio, who hauled himself off of the ground with a wide and devious grin. "Their reasoning is realistic, we are bad people, after all." 

Illuso rolled his eyes at the notion, deciding that this wasn't a battle he was willing to fight - if the three of you wanted to believe this nonsense, then he wouldn't be the one to rain on your parade. 

"What the fuck are you guys talking about." Ghiaccio then grunted, shoving his way into the circle that the three of you had crafted.

Illuso offered him a short, displeased glance. "(Y/N) and Melone and Formaggio believe in Santa." 

And that was all Ghiaccio needed to lose complete and total interest in conversing with the lot of you.

"Oh." He started, lowering his gaze to the floor. His brows furrowed in what was at first question, then frustration, and then acceptance. A loud sigh passed his lips, and he turned away from you all slowly. "I can't deal with you guys right now. I just... can't."

And it was with that, he turned to walk toward the kitchen - where Prosciutto was currently cooking a traditional feast with the aid of Pesci.

As Ghiaccio walked away, a loud knocking sounded at the front of the house. Prosciutto's voice called out to the three of you sternly: "Answer the door!" 

And you wasted no seconds in dismissing your three friends so that you could investigate who was at the door. It was strange to recieve visitors on such a widely celibrated day, most people in Italy were with their families and hardly anything was open. 

As you encroached the door, you could make out the rough silhouette of two figures through the blurred window; one tall and one short, with blond and black hair. A wicked grin spread across your lips - these two were just who you needed. 

"Gelato, Sorbet!" You grinned, throwing open the door with an expression of mischief. "I thought you two were spending Christmas at your place?" 

Stood before you, wrapped snugly in jackets and scarfes and arms lined with presents, were your two best friends: Gelato and Sorbet, who caught immediately the expression of deviance that had settled across your face. 

"Betty didn't pay our utility bills last month, we have no power or water or anything. Thought we'd come and spend the holidays with you lot!" The two shuffled inside the house. Gelato kept a close eye on you as you clipped the door shut behind them. "But something tells me you have a sinister plan...?" 

"Your face is evil." Sorbet then hummed, his brow quirked at you. Staring with palpable question while he placed his gifts down on the ground next to the couch, not bothering to shift them under the tree with the rest of them. "What are you plotting?" 

While he was setting down his stuff, you grabbed Gelato by his shoulders and shook him desperately. "Ghiaccio hates this season! He's miserable! You guys need to help me make him like it!" 

"Is no one else available for this task?" He asked, shoving you off of him with a snicker. He looked to the other three in the room, who remained near the staircase where you had initially been conversing.  

"We think shes should leave it," Illuso reasoned, moving his hands in a 'so-so' motion. "I mean, Ghiaccio is a tough egg to crack. If he hates Christmas then he hates Christmas." 

Formaggio let out a small hum at the notion. "It's ironic that he hates it, though. Considering his stand is the most wintery of them all." 

"Exactly!" You yelped, waving your hands desperately. You used Formaggio's point as an anchor for your reasoning. "We need to make him like it!" 

Formaggio and Illuso looked to Melone for help - they thought that perhaps since he was the closest with you he would be able to sway you against any evil plans, but he offered no reasoning. Only shrugging his shoulders as he watched you plot with Gelato and Sorbet. 

"Idea:" Sorbet finally piped up after a few minutes of thought. "In that film about Christmas, that one guy was really miserable - until, visited by a ghost who showed him how great Christmas is." 

He raised his brows in offer, grinning when both you and Gelato mulled over the offer. You began to nod slowly after a few seconds of thought. "So we need to visit Ghiaccio with a ghost..." 

"Who is the most ghostly on the team?" Gelato inquired, running a hand through his scraggly blond hair. 

There was more silence. Then, Sorbet piped up. 

"...Risotto." He offered, and you nodded your head along with his words once more - confirming with a small: 

"Risotto." Of your own. 

It was with this decision made, the three of you stormed up to his office - giggling and snickering, eager to transform him into what would be a Christmas miracle. 

"Risotto!" You were the first to cry, not bothering to knock as you threw open the door to his office. You had to squint upon entry, for he bathed himself in darkness. Working beneath nothing but a flickering old lamp. 

He flinched at your sudden intrusion, lifting his gaze from his work lethargically. "Mm?" 

You pointed a finger in his direction, marching toward his desk with an authority only you would have to confidence to conjure up against your boss. Behind you, Gelato and Sorbet teetered into the room like vultures - his brow quirked at the sight, realising that the lot of you were likely up to no good.

"Stop doing your work, it's Christmas!" You begged, pressing your hands together in a praying motion. He huffed a breath through his nostrils, gaze flittering down to his work once more. 

"I know, I just need to get these documents---"

"---No! I need you." He was taken aback when you suddenly cut him off, slamming your hands down against his desk so that you could lean your whole body above him.

"...You need me?" Was his small, hushed mumble. His eyes flickered up and down your body, swallowing thickly before he continued. "In what way?" 

"I need you to be a ghost." You leant back, crossing your arms over your chest. "You need to scare Ghiaccio." 

Ah. He should have known you'd have some kind of devious plot. Rolling his eyes back down toward his desk, he pressed a finger to his brow. "Why?" 

"Because Ghiaccio hates Christmas, keep up, Riz." Gelato was the one who spoke next, cocking his head to side as he too encroached his superiors desk. 

A hum of complaint left Risotto, he motioned toward his paperwork. "Okay. Uhm. I'm a bit busy, so..." 

Sorbet let out a scoff at his petty excuse. 

"Risotto, we all know the only reason you're cooped up in here is because you hate social events." He reasoned, taking a confidence that you and Gelato lacked - he rounded the desk and grabbed at the brooding mans shoulders, trying with his best effort to lift him from his chair. "Come on, it'll take like five minutes. Let's turn you into a ghost." 

"This is foolish." He uttered. Yet, to his own utter disbelief, he stood and allowed the three of you to guide him into another room - where you would be allowed to play dress up to your hearts content. 

Devilish laughter filled the air while the three of you dictated Risotto's haunting attire - the first outfit you'd all picked was dark and gruly, hooded with chains and thick boots. But it was too obvious. You next tried something lighter - white and flowy with silver accents, but it was far too bright for a man as hurcelean as Risotto. There was a vast debate between the three of you - over what would be best to scare Ghiaccio with... that was when searching through your closet, you found an outfit that was perfect. 

"I look stupid." Risotto grumbled, body stiff while three grabby hands maneuvered his limbs into the fluffy red and white outfit. "I hate this."

"I think you look hot," You hummed, plucking the black coxcomb from his head and instead placed it atop of yours. He looked like a dishevelled cygnet, frowning when you replced his hat with a big red one. "If this guy came down my chimney, I'd take my clothes off." 

"I'd hit." Sorbet then chimed, taking a step back to admire the glorious work the three of you had achieved. 

Risotto stood hunched over himself, frowning while the three of you cooed and awed at how supposedly 'cute' he looked dressed as Santa.

"Why do you have this...?" He mumbled, picking at some crust that lined the fluff of his red coat. 

You let out a short hum. "Eh... I can't really remember, I think me and Melone were trying out some rolepl---" 

"---I'm taking it off." Risotto shuddered at the thought of what sinful things may have happened in this poor outfit, though he was unfortunately halted by several hands. 

"You can't take it off!" Gelato griped, patting down his outfit sternly. "This is how we're going to convince Ghiaccio to like Christmas!" 

Risotto frowned at the three of you, crossing his arms over his chest. "You said you wanted to scare him." He then motioned to himself. "This... isn't scary."

"New plan," You chirruped, attaching yourself to his arm ajd poking at his cheek. "You pretend to be Santa!" 

He wafted your hand away, frowning unsurely. "That's not going to work. Ghiaccio isn't six he knows Santa isn't---" 

"---Shhusshhh, Santa is real! He's real! I'm tired of everyone saying he isn't!" You pressed your index finger to his lip, shutting him up properly. Your brows furrowed with upset, you were tired of people telling you this. 

Sorbet cackled at the sight, nodding his head along with your words. "Yeah, Risotto, Santa is real. Don't you know?" 

"No."

There was clear hesitation on Risotto's behalf. You frowned - if this plan was to work, you needed him to behave himself. You turned to look at Gelato and Sorbet desperately, hoping that they would have some sort of  solution - to no avail, they only offered you shruggish frowns. 

And when Prosciutto's voice called up the stairs announcing that the traditional dinner was ready, devious smiles befell the three of you. Risotto staggered backward a few steps, moving to grab at his black jacket, but he was halted by Gelato. 

"What do you think you're doing? You need to wear this downstairs." He tossed Risotto's original outfit to the side, snickering evilly. Risotto frowned. 

"I am not attending dinner like this---"

"---But you have to," You plead, tugging at his sleeve opposing Gelato. "For the sake of our team! You have to!" 

Risotto wasn't quite sure how he ended up in this situation - he thought he had authority over this team, but it seemed the three of you were impossible to wrangle. Within seconds you were shoving him out of the door and down the stairs. 

"Look who decided to visit us!" You called out, entering the kitchen with a bounce in your step. Behind you, dragged rather forcefully by Gelato and Sorbet, was the hesitant Saint you had claimed Risotto to be. 

Most of the group had already gathered at the table, ready 

"Oh my fucking God---" Formaggio suddenly blurted, slamming his fist down against the table while laughter bubbled up out of his throat. 

There was a sigh from the seat next to him, Illuso pinched at his neatly plucked brow, utter shock filling his tone as he spoke. "You three didn't..." 

Guiding Risotto toward his chair, you forced him down by the shoulders. Promptly wafting your hands around his body, presenting him like some sort of prize: 

"It's Santa!" 

You and Gelato both cheered. With Risotto settled, sure that he wasn't going to suddenly turn tail and run, you slipped into your seat next to Melone all the while Gelato and Sorbet settled onto their side of the table. 

Ignoring the strange looks the four of you recieved, you turned to look at Ghiaccio, brows raised smugly - only to frown when he let out an alarmed: "What the fuck." 

"It's Saint Nicholas!" You cried, growing irritated that he was so stubborn with his dislike. You eyed him through your peripherals, expression that of stern annoyance. He could only scoff at your insistence. 

Still howling, Formaggio rubbed at his cheeks - they were begining to hurt from how much he had been smiling, and he was out of breath from laughter. He pressed his hands together pleadingly. "Do the laugh, Nick." 

"I'm not doing that." Risotto near growled, clenching his hands into fists. Formaggio near crawled atop of the table, leaning forward desperately.

"Oh, come on, please!" 

Risotto grimaced. He paused for a moment, gaze flickering over to where you were prodding and poking at Ghiaccio. Aside from the obvious few who took humour in Risotto's sudden change, most of the table seemed confused: Pesci and Melone were reacting the best, the purple one had began to dig into his dinner - a traditional lasagna, as was the first meal of Christmas - and only eyed the rest of the group casually. Pesci, for the most part, remained silent; watching everyone with wide, confused eyes.

Prosciutto had yet to sit down with the rest of the group, he was still carrying a tray of food - but he had stopped what he was doing, stood dazed at the side of the table with a furrow in his brow. Formaggio was pouting, he had his hands clasped together desperately. 

Risotto let out a loud sigh. Caving to the demands of his teammates and letting out a quiet: Ho... ho... ho...?" 

And at that, Formaggio began to howl again. Cackling and chortling loudly, Prosciutto sneered in his brutish direction. 

"Risotto why are you---" 

"---Prosciutto, can't you see this is Santa, not Risotto?" Sorbet cut through, offering a 'no-duh' look in the blond's direction. Prosciutto scoffed, placing the tray of food on the table before sitting in his designated seat. 

"Don't be foolish that's clearly---" 

"---Since Santa has decided to join us, we should open our gifts now." Illuso suddenly spoke out, slamming his hands down against the table to garner attention. Formaggio nodded his head along eagerly, quipping out a jovial: 

"Pretty please!" 

Prosciutto shook his head. "No, we need to save that until after---" 

"---But Santa is here now, which means we have to." Gelato then huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. Prosciutto's frown could only deepen at the notion. His lips parted to argue against them, but was promptly cut off by you - who stood up in sudden surprise.

"Wait, I forgot to wrap my gifts!" 

Melone placed a hand atop of your arm, cooing out a gentle: "I did it for you. I knew you'd forget." 

A small, soft gasp left your throat. You looked down to Melone gently, adoration seeping into every fibre of your being. He looked to you with equal reprise, a small smile slipping across his lips. If this were some sort of cartoon, the hearts would have likely filled the air between you - but your moment was cut off by Formaggio, who clapped his hands together loudly. 

"Well, let's hand them out!" He blurted, shooing you with his hands. You offered him a sour expression, before promptly slipping out of the room to gather the gifts that had all been bundled under the tree. 

It wasn't an easy task, bringing them all in, since everyone on the team had gotten each other something there was at least a dozen under the tree - but eventually, after many trips, you wrangled them all into the room. 

"Here! Do mine first!" You insisted, flittering about the table to hand them each something. "I hand made them all." 

Then, you stood to the side with your hands on your hips, grinning brightly while you watched them open their gifts. 

Formaggio was the first to tear into his gift, ignoring Prosciutto who griped over the complete disregard the group had for his traditions, and instead grabbing at what was inside the wrapping. "You..." In his hands he held a small grey kitten, made of velvet wool. "Knitted Bonèt!" 

"Crochet, actually." Melone cut in, not bothering to look up from his gift. You'd crocheted him a jumper - it was messy, and he'd known for weeks he'd be getting it since he'd often sit next to you in bed while you knitted away, but he appreciated it nontheless. 

"Whatever! She's so cute! And she doesn't bite me!" He nuzzled his head into the cat, jovial that it wouldn't scratch at him like his real cat. 

Prosciutto, with a frown on his face, delicately peeled back the paper around his gift. "Wow... an apron." He then grumbled - it wasn't a surprise. He got a new hoover for his birthday. Though he did appreciate the detail and effort you'd put into the gift. He looked up to you curiously. "I wasn't aware you knew how to crochet." 

"I wasn't aware you had any talents - other than brutally killing and maiming, of course." Illuso laughed, picking at the small candle holder you'd crocheted him - he always used candles when in the bathtub, so a holder was extremely thoughtful. Though, he wasn't sure how much of a fire hazard the wool one was. 

"Of course I do! Knitting and crocheting is so fun!" You then chirruped, you looked to Risotto, watching him pull out the wool beane you had made for him. It had a bell on top, a bell that fell off the moment he pried it from the wrapping. You frowned sheepishly. "Though, I'm not too good at it... killing is what I'm best at, I suppose. There's a reason I'm a poor hitman and not a rich artist!" 

"You could be one, though." Pesci mumbled, smiling down appreciatively at the little creature you had crocheted him. Out of everyone on the team, he was the only other who knew how to craft these things - in fact, he had been the one to teach you. He was artistic at heart, and it filled him with joy to know you were harnessing this ability for good. Prosciutto had always been very dismissive of it as a talent. "Thank you for this." 

"Most artists aren't rich, it's an extremely underpaid profession." Ghiaccio scoffed at what you had said. He held your gift with his index finger, as if it were ridden with disease. "You made me a helmet...?"

You nodded your head eagerly, wafting a hand in his direction. "A helmet cover! To go over your... stand... thingy?" 

He grimaced. 

"This is stupid." He dashed it down onto the table. "It makes no sense. I'm not going to bother putting it on when I use my stand because when I use it I'm always in the heat of battle---" 

"---Well, I assume it's cold inside White Album, right?" You quirked your head to the side. 

A low grunt left his throat. "Of course it fucking is it's made of ice it's cold---" 

"---Well, I thought hard about this gift! It will keep you warm!" You smiled again. Jovial, despite how much Ghiaccio tried to yell at and dismiss you. His lip quivered at the sight, twitching to spout more hatred in your direction. 

Then, his gaze flickered down to the gift you had made him. It was stupid; it would never work on his stand and it would only hinder him during battle. Yet... you'd thought about him. You'd really thought about him and likely spent weeks fussing over the creation of it. In addition to this, you were trying your hardest to get him to enjoy himself, despite how stubborn he was. 

He bit the inside of his cheek, crossing his arms over his chest and turning his head away from you. "Whatever... thank... you..." 

For the most part, you'd failed in your goal of getting Ghiaccio to enjoy Christmas. Though, there was no doubt in saying that he was more partial to it than he had been prior. 

Despite Prosciutto's protesting, Formaggio and Illuso forced the entire team to open their gifts at the table - out of everyone, you seemed to recieve the best gifts despite your insistence that you'd be fine with whatever they threw at you. Formaggio had bought you cat toys to play with his cat, and in addition to that a blanket for which he insisted the two of you could share. Ghiaccio and Prosciutto had both gone out of their way to buy you jewellery, because they assumed that is what you'd like. Meanwhile Illuso offered you a bouquet of roses and a date to some restaurant you had never heard of before. Much like you, Pesci had handcrafted his gift - a painting, which you adored greatly and insisted on hanging up in the living room despite Prosciutto's argument against it. Risotto bought you a few books, because he knew you liked stealing his. And Melone had perhaps been the most thoughtful of the bunch, buying you a multitude of flowers, plushies and nicknacks - he was trying to one up everyone else, and in the weeks prior to christmas had Junior sneaking about the hideout late into the night ensuring nobody was better than him. 

It worked, of course. It always did. You loved anything Melone did for you, because he was your bestest friend. But of course, your love for him couldn't amount to the love you held for the team - even late into the night when the team watched a film together. When Formaggio drank so much he threw up and when Illuso passed out on the couch after one too many wines. As chaotic as they were, you loved them all. 

---

oufh can you tell i rushed the ending for this... i needed to post it b4 new year cuz like two days late is fine but once new year passes then its TOO late yk... anyways... if you liked this pls consider reading my fanfic :3 this is a shameless plug i am shamelessly advertising myself

[lady-of-endless]

What they do for you after a rough mission

(La Squadra x Reader)

Summary: You, their lover and teammate, get back to the hideout, exhausted and disheveled in the middle of the night after a rough solo mission.

Author's Note: My second La Squadra x Reader. I love them so much that it's ridiculous already. If you're interested in the other one, you can find it here

Risotto

- He is always waiting for you to get back no matter when, both because he needs to know how the mission went and how you are feeling, of course.

"You're back..." He speaks in a calm tone, staring at your slightly torn-up clothing and tired expression from where he was sitting. Seeing how you're not that reactive, he gets that the damage is more profound and his gaze softens. "It's over now. Join me for a moment, tesoro." He says gesturing to sit next to him.

- Unfortunately, you must tell him the details, he is the one who needs to know, it's expected. However, Risotto is patient and gentle with you, not questioning anything, waiting for you to start when you feel like it. As you speak, he will push a strand of hair behind your ear and pull you closer to him by your shoulders. He will get you anything you need as long as you say it. He wants to be helpful and efficient for you but wants to know exactly what you need.

- He's not the one to praise you after such a mission because he feels guilty. Strong, guilt that clings to his heart as he looks at the state you're in. He feels guilty for not protecting you, for sending you out there alone, and more than anything, for making you live this way when all he wants for you is a peaceful life, happiness, and nothing like his way of life. You can explain that it was your choice as much as you want but this guilt will haunt him forever no matter what.

- Will tell you that you have a day off tomorrow, no other objections or questions. What happens with your tasks? He handles them himself without you knowing it.

Prosciutto

- You'll find him sitting in an armchair with a glass of wine, making it look like he wasn't waiting for you but just relaxing. As you enter, he doesn't say a word at first, which is rare for him. He gets up and slowly makes his way over to you, observing the state you are in, with his glass of wine still in his hand.

"From the looks of it, e chiaro how the mission went. You should change, you look more like a mess than a professional assassin." He says coldly but there is worry in the way his eyes are searching for yours. "You shouldn't let the others see you like this." With this, he hands you his glass and grabs your shoulders, walking you to the bathroom. You might be too exhausted to notice it but there's a certain gentleness in how he holds your shoulders, his thumbs slightly rubbing your skin. This might be the first time he sees you like this, which could be the starting point of him being more affectionate towards you.

- As you finish his glass of wine, he runs a warm bath for you. At this point, you start to wonder what has gotten into him. Prosciutto will sit by the bathtub on a chair, watching over you in case you fall asleep but not only because of that. He even helps you wash your hair, but you need to stay silent and not say anything about it, his condition. He'll wash your hair and shoulders gently to get you to relax and tells you how God damn spoiled you are. However, as he keeps washing you, you can't see his soft gaze. He's relieved that you came back to him.

- The next few days, he'll be attentive to your needs, and moods, to make sure you got back on track and more importantly for him, that you're alright. The treatment you got from him after that mission will go unsaid like it never happened. He doesn't mention this but be sure that he will repeat it anytime it's needed without excuses but with some teasing of course.

(ugh I love him sm)

Pesci

- Jumps from the couch as soon as he hears the door. His eyes move frantically over your figure, noticing your weary expression and the damage to your clothes, and become a stuttering mess.

"You... look like a mess." He says, hesitantly and timid for stating this. "D-did you have a difficult mission?". He's so worried that you'll have to calm him down first.

- After calming down, Pesci gets determined to make you feel better. He provides your favorite snacks, favorite movies, and basically, anything you want. On this occasion, you notice how attentive he is always to your preferences. He waits for you to tell him what you need like a sweetheart that he is. He stays up all night with you until you finally start feeling better, no excuses.

- The next day, if his older brother comments on you and how the mission went, he won't hesitate to stand up and counter his older brother. This attitude is so rare from Pesci so it shocks both you and Prosciutto especially (he's secretly proud). Pesci won't let anyone talk badly about you because even when you were a mess, he admired you so much for going through it and handling it the way you did.

Ghiaccio

- While you are gone, he is not worried about you getting it done, he knows your strength but he feels worried to the point of anger that he's not there to fight next to you. He waits for you, tapping his leg, grunting as he looks at the clock. Of course, he will deny that he waited for you out of worry, he'll say that he just wanted to make sure you got it done. As you enter, he automatically stops moving and silently scans your body for injuries first.

"Cazzo..." He curses seeing how you are a mess. "You look like you went through hell and back."

- Seeing how you don't even have the energy to respond with a comeback, he sighs and shakes his head. Ghiaccio pulls you to the bathroom motivating you to at least take a shower to wash everything off you. He waits outside, secretly leaning against the door with his arms crossed at his chest and listening closely in case you collapse out of exhaustion. Once you're done he hands you one of his clean shirts because he refused to go to your room and search through your clothes. Whenever you thank him, he looks away and tells you not to mention it. Another thing you shouldn't mention is how soft he is in this situation.

- For him, the lack of your usual attitude and teasing way of being towards him, is the thing that scares him more than he thought at first. If that passionate flame of yours that frustrates him is gone, he gets uncomfortably worried for you. He knows that something is bad but he's more motivated to find a way to help you with it. Ghiaccio is extremely frustrated that he's not good with empathy and can't feel what you go through but he tries his best to understand. He starts asking details about the mission but don't take it the wrong way, he just wants to know more before deciding on the best way of action. If the mission didn't end well and you didn't get the target eliminated, the next morning, the target is found dead. Ghiaccio was busy after you fell asleep. He tells you to shut up about it and tell the others that you did it. He didn't want you to keep feeling bad in the morning when you had to report to Risotto. Plus, no one messes you up like that and sees the light of the next day with Ghiaccio.

(his ability is ice-based but he surely makes my heart melt)

Melone

- He stays up all night every time you're out on a mission alone and he's not even hiding it, it's a routine. You coming back to the base is the highlight of his night. As you enter, he instantly looks up from his computer and takes in the damage you sustained. He sighs seeing how worn out you looked.

"Oh, cara mia, you look terrible. Come here, let me take a look at you, and tell me where it hurts." He says sweetly.

He seems calm and laid back but inside, he is so damn worried because he has never seen you so drained before. He doesn't know what to do in this situation so he initially analyzes and tries to guess your needs. Distractions? Silence? Rest? Shower? Intimacy with him? No, cut that. At first, his mind seems to run on algorithms like his Stand. However, he starts to understand that for you, it's better to go with the flow.

- It's easy to open up to him because of his affection and you'll be surprised by how much of a great listener he is. Melone uses this even during missions as an advantage but not with you. With you, he listens because he wants just to know how you feel. He won't give you advice, won't criticize your strategy of choice regarding that mission, won't encourage you. He'll just listen, tell you that it's important to recover first, and caress your cheek.

- Melone waits to see what you need at that particular moment. But, just so you know, he has everything prepared just in case and he won't say a thing. In the morning, there might be someone else asking why the hell is the bathtub full (he ran a bath just in case but you didn't feel like it and of course, he forgot about it). Melone is there to simply spoil you and make you feel that he will always have your back.

Formaggio

- As soon as you enter, no matter in what state you're in, he immediately gets up with open arms.

"Still looking good, gattina!" He welcomes you and already tries to lighten the mood. However, he hugs you tightly and runs a hand through your hair. You can feel and hear him sigh deeply. "What did you get into?" He whispers in a gentle tone.

He pulls you to the couch and has in plan to hold you tight the whole rest of the night, waiting for you to open up about it. He provides the warmest embrace.

- He needs to see a smile, even a faint one to be sure that you'll be alright. He works hard for it. He tries joking around but it's not working. Has the idea to put on an entertaining movie but you're too tired. Tells you some things that happened while you were gone but you don't seem to listen. After all those attempts, Formaggio naturally resorts to telling you how he felt on his first missions ever when he was a total mess while holding you and untangling your hair. Is surprised to see that you slowly opened up about it after he was the one to do it first without it even being his intention.

- He won't let the others tease you about it the next day if details were heard or if they saw you in that state. If they do that, they will see another side of Formaggio, a side that makes Risotto interfere before the conflict escalates. The others start to get how protective he is over you. As tense as he is from that heated moment, his expression changes immediately when he sees you, smiling warmly like nothing happened.

Illuso

- He welcomes you warmly with a smirk on his face, secretly excited that you're back. His smile drops gradually, seeing your loss of reaction to seeing him, looking rather out of it and lost. He understands right away what's wrong as he looks at you from head to toe. He walks over to you and grabs your wrist to guide you to the bathroom. He does this without any words, not being sure of what you want to hear.

- In the bathroom, he gets the water running at the sink and you get his idea. However, Illuso stands behind you and grabs your hands in his large ones. He washes the dried blood off your hands with gentle moves. He knows that the intimacy of this gesture will keep your mind off the mission.

- He thinks some praise can always help and that's what he gives you. He leans down and puts his chin on your shoulder as his hands slide over yours and starts whispering praise close to your ear.

"There, there...you did a good job. You held your ground out there, and you came back in one piece. You gotta have some skill for that, you know."

He tells you and watches your expression in the mirror from above the sink to see if it's working. He didn't feel worried for your state even when seeing you come back like that after the mission. Illuso knows that you're strong enough and you'll recover, you also got him and won't need to go through it alone. This and especially because what he felt was deep relief because you came back after all, alive. His worry was alive only for before he heard the door and your footsteps.

[nicherayyy]

La Squadra x Deadpool-like Teammate

Chat I completely forgot I wrote this and it’s been sitting in my drafts for a whole week💀

Warning: cursing and some gore ig

They were probably accepted because of their regenerative abilities

Like.. Risotto is genuinely impressed

They got shot right in the head? No worries, they’re fine

Someone tried to stab them? It’s not like it’s gonna kill them, chill out

So yeah, a good ally in mafia world

Other than that.. well.. maybe this new teammate is a bit weird

Or generally weird

Or as Prosciutto said “stupido bastardo”

The day when Prosciutto’s not trying to secretly age them and get rid of the body is a good day👍

It’s not like he hates them but he clearly dislikes them

But as long as the teammate is doing their job Prosciutto will tolerate their behaviour

He just begs Risotto not to go on missions with them

With anyone but them

Another stupid joke and he’ll shoot himself

Everyone in La Squadra is kinda concerned about the fourth wall thing

The embodiment of “Who are you talking to right now?🤨”

The concept of self-aware teammate is actually so funny

Imagine fighting with an enemy stand and your teammate is talking into the void💀

—Ehehe, you were wondering how we got into this situation? Well- —For the love of god just shut the fuck up and USE YOUR STAND

At some point Pesci thought that they were just lonely

They were not.

So he got to the conclusion that they’re just weird

Or not in their right mind

Or both

Melone likes their jokes

Really, he does

(But most of all his new teammate is scientifically interesting)

Like “WHY ARE YOU NOT DYING”

So their communication looks like “Ahahah oh I just love your humour! Please, tell me more jokes while I take some of your skin samples😊”

Please, don’t put the new teammate with Ghiaccio.

Just don’t.

The mission will just go down

(With a frozen teammate)

Tries to avoid his new teammate as much as possible

The whole la squadra tries to have them in separate rooms too

They know too well what would happen if the teammate gets the best out of Ghiaccio’s anger

Formaggio’s probably the only person who’s willing to go on missions with them

Dude’s having the time of his life fr

Hangs out with them after work

Illuso felt kinda bad for the new teammate because of their skin condition

(And their absence of hair)

It kinda reminds him about his fight with Purple Haze

He likes to make theories why the teammate looks like that because they definitely told Illuso something like “that’s how undiagnosed adhd looks like”

But otherwise, he’s impressed by their katana skills

And dance moves.

[tangytiramisu]

La Squadra React to Reader Crushing on Ghiaccio

Because I love him so much 🥹❄️

CW: None

Risotto Nero

Is pretty indifferent to it. As long as it doesn’t get in the way of your work, it’s fine with him.

Though he would be lying if he said he wasn’t at least a little curious, since most people are put off by Ghiaccio’s aggressive personality but you’re an exception.

Being the observant person he is, Risotto notices your blush and every longing glance you give Ghiaccio. That’s how he knows you like him in the first place.

He may be serious but he’s still caring, so if you seem to be struggling to get closer to Ghiaccio, he will give you advice from time to time. Listen to him. It always works.

If you follow his advice and it works he’s like a silently proud dad.

Prosciutto

Judgmental.

Why Ghiaccio? Sure, he is a good looking guy, but you could have chosen someone calmer and more sophisticated. At least in his opinion. (This is Prosciutto we’re talking about)

But regardless, he isn’t really one to meddle in people’s romantic affairs. The most he’ll do is cast judgement.

Though we all know that he’s quite caring, so if you need advice, he will give it to you. But he’ll make sure you know that your duties come first.

He definitely lifts you up if you’re nervous or feeling down!

He will be protective if Ghia is rude to you for any reason.

Pesci

He’s very supportive!

He may be a little surprised that you chose Ghiaccio, but he won’t question it.

Ghiaccio kind of scares him, but Pesci will be there for you if you need advice! He is also very good at comforting you if you doubt yourself for some reason.

Very sweet and routes for you 100%!

10/10 Wingman!

Melone

Oh he’s having a heyday!

He’s the most obnoxious yet enthusiastic wingman you could ask for. You like his best friend. Of course he’ll want to help.

He will want to know everything. Why do you like Ghiaccio? Is it his cute curls? His glasses? His handsome face? His muscles?

He will tell you whatever you want to know about Ghiaccio. Even information you may not have asked for, like the color of his briefs.

Will definitely ask you if you’ve had sexual fantasies about Ghiaccio. Even if you have don’t tell him about them.

Will constantly make dirty jokes when you and Ghiaccio are in a room together. It lowkey feels like he’s hitting on Ghiaccio for you…?

If you need serious advice he’s actually pretty good at it. He knows Ghiaccio the best out of everyone, so you can rely on him.

Melone will basically tell you to just go for it. Tell Ghiaccio how you feel because he appreciates honesty and straightforwardness. If it doesn’t go well, Melone will gladly make it all better ;)

Formaggio

He’s a little indifferent to it. You like Ghiaccio? He’s a little surprised for the same reason as everybody else, but hey, you do you.

He will tease you a little bit though, but it’s all in good fun.

He makes sure you know that you can come to him for advice.

Like Melone, he tells you to approach Ghiaccio. His methods may not be too helpful though because he recommends flirtation, and Ghia is not the best at handling flirting.

If you and Ghia end up together he’s happy for you! If you don’t, he’ll swoop in and get with you himself ;)

Illuso

Oh he knows before any of the others. Why? Because Man in the Mirror.

He scoffs. Ghiaccio? The ice brat??? What’s so special about him?!!

He’s mostly indifferent but it will cost you half your bank account to keep his petty mouth shut.

If you piss him off he will threaten to tell Ghiaccio. Will he go through with it? Who knows.

Ghiaccio

Look he may be book-smart but bro’s dense as hell when it comes to romance.

Don’t let him catch you staring at him. He will blow up at you without hesitation.

He will notice if you act differently around him but he assumes it’s because you hate him or something. He’s used to people being scared of him but that doesn’t make him any less angry.

Probably treats you as if you’re a nuisance because of it.

Eventually if the secret comes out and he doesn’t feel the same way, he’ll be flustered but may avoid you for some time. But if he reciprocates your feelings, he’ll practically melt.

[thus-wrote-mrs-zeppeli]

La Squadra x reader: How They Flirt

Yikes. They’re trying-

Content: casual flings, slight suggestiveness, creepy Melone, different relationship depending on character

Characters: all La Squadra (-Sorbet and Gelato)

Style: quick headcanons

-Formaggio: Very casual flirt, tends to walk that line that makes you wonder if he’s actually flirting with you or just being nice. And he’ll flirt with any cute thing that catches his eye, doesn’t mean he’s looking for anything serious, but giving him attention back will make him hover around a bit more. He wants to see what will happen.

He’ll offer to buy you a drink at the bar, asking if the seat next to you was taken, and if not he’ll playfully wonder out loud why. You really don’t have a sweetheart? Well he’s nobody’s first choice but if you want some company for the night, he’s a pretty good conversationalist~

He’s a natural, much more socially aware than most of his squad mates. He knows leaning forward while you talk will make you feel heard, and asking you questions about yourself will make him seem genuinely interested in you. By the end of the night, his hand’s on the back of your chair and you’re sharing drinks and laughing together. Maybe you’ve even given him your number. But don’t take it personally when the second you turn around suddenly he’s chatting it up with the next cute thing he spotted. He’s not even trying to make you jealous, he’s just having a good time, and there’s plenty of him to share. If you do actually want to get somewhere with him, make it obvious…he likes that and he’ll be willing to give you more attention for bold behavior.

-Illuso: God, he is BORING. His body language doesn’t even convey any particular interest in you, and he doesn’t even ask about you, just starts listing his appealing traits to try to convince you he’s a good time and worth spending an evening with. You suspect he just wants money from you, but he’s just not very good at flirting. He really does want you to let him take you out on the town for the night, but he’s too prideful to ask outright…it feels like begging to him. You’d be better off just asking him yourself if he wants to spend the evening with you. He has some nerve acting like he wasn’t trying for that when he says: “Well, if you insist~”

-Prosciutto: He’s extraordinarily blunt but…when you’re as handsome and serious as he is it honestly works.

Don’t try to play coy with him if he decides to approach you, he wants some companionship tonight and he’s not gonna work that hard for it. You only get one chance with him before he decides if he does or doesn’t want to spend an evening with you, so be assertive back if you think he’s someone you wanna play with.

“You want a drink on me or not?” he asks, resting his elbow on the bar and gazing at you with those intense eyes. He won’t ask again. It’s yes or no. And if you say yes he’s gonna order you whatever he thinks you want.

He’s a horribly grumpy and audacious companion…but once you get used to it he doesn’t have ill-intentions. He just wants a good time tonight, like most people who go out alone to a bar on the weekend.

-Pesci: One word. AWKWARD. He does Not know much about flirting, beyond the basics. But knowing the basics doesn’t mean he knows how to put them all together. People like compliments…but also confidence and devil may care attitudes…and how is he even supposed to know what you like…?

He didn’t mean to just. Sit there and stare at you from across the restaurant. He didn’t realize he was even doing that until your eyes meet and you awkwardly wave him over, since clearly he wants something from you.

He settles for the only thing he can think to do as he awkwardly shuffles over to your table. He tells you he likes your shoes. It makes you laugh and you ask him his name and invite him to sit with you, willing to see where this might go. You end up giving him your number, since you couldn’t deny a bit of curiosity towards him.

-Melone: He walks by your table at a restaurant and not so subtly tosses a cocktail napkin in front of you, with something written on it:

“Nice thighs~”

Signed with his number and his name with a heart next to it.

Gross, what the hell…?

It doesn’t take long for you to catch his eye, and you shake your head and glare at him disapprovingly. He just tilts his head at you, his eyes narrowing as his lips turn up into a smirk and he blows you a kiss.

GROSS. What the HELL?

You have no idea if he’s just being confident, stupid, or straight-up a creep.

You subtly text one of your friends to come pick you up so you don’t have to walk home alone tonight.

You have No idea what that guy was Expecting to get out of that interaction, but he can forget it until he improves his flirting game, if that’s even what that was-

-Ghiaccio: He is NOT the type to humiliate himself by flirting with random people. He finds it desperate, and he’s not much of a quick fling or even “romantic relationships” person anyways. If he does end up attempting to flirt with you, it’s because he’s known you for a while and truly has some sort of mind-consuming crush on you. If it didn’t literally keep him up at night, he’d probably never ask you out and just bottle it up forever.

It’s a bit terrifying to see him stomp over to you, that signature intenseness permeating his body language. Despite how naturally cold his body was, his face looks warm and he speaks especially loudly while trying to give you a kind compliment. He doesn’t beat around the bush for very long. “WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN ME FOR DINNER?!” he screams at you, unintentionally. Say yes and he’ll tell you he’ll pick you up at 6:30 exactly and then hurry off in a huff of embarrassment. Say no and he’ll activate White Album and escape as fast as possible and avoid you for the rest of the day, ending the evening with an apology text and insisting you both just forget he ever said anything. Please. He will DIE if you mention it again after rejecting him-

-Risotto Nero: He’s very much like Ghiaccio in the sense that he’s not interested in some sort of quick and casual thing, or relationships in general. He’s got a job to do, he doesn’t have time for dating. But if he’s known you for a while and enjoys your company…there’s a slim chance he’ll attempt to flirt, with the intent of inviting you on a date. It’s a bit awkward, and you really can’t tell what he’s going for at first when he mentions a nice, secluded spot for a private stroll. It honestly kinda sounds like a threat when he words it like that, though you’re sure that’s not his intent. But being direct with him will make him more direct with you.

Ask if he’s inviting you on a date and he’ll say yeah, that was the intention…only if you aren’t busy and actually wish to spend some time with him.

You’re sure it’ll be a bit quiet and awkward at first but…you’re flattered to be invited, and don’t have any plans that night so…may as well.

[lemonflavoreddishsoap]

Can i request like la squadra and their s/o but they are the complete opposite of them?

Like Risotto is stoic and his s/o is emotional or Ghiaccio who is short tempered and his s/o is calm and very nice

ooh this is actually a very cool prompt to write - personality descriptions in prompts make writing feel way less daunting but I understand if readers may not like a less applicable reader. Oh well, gonna write anyways.

----------------------------------------------

Formaggio

You're finicky, on-edge, and I suppose a bit of a perfectionist(?)...maybe "control freak" is a better way to word it? Either way, you need things to go right, perfectly as you plan.

Not to say Formaggio is careless, but he does things on-the-go (you telling me he planned to jump into the sewers?) and doesn't mind if things get messy.

You two are each other's reasonable thoughts. If you think one of his ideas is too risky and need him to weigh the consequences he'll listen to you completely, and in return he opens you up to just...letting some things happen.

He eases your anxieties when they're excessive, but is beyond attracted to your work ethic and smarts. He'll hold your hands and listen to your every idea if you'll listen to his.

Illuso

Soft-spoken and definitely not a confident one, it's difficult for most people to look at you two and understand how you could've ever gotten together in the first place. Maybe you even have these doubts yourself.

But he never lets you feel those doubts for long. At first he honestly probably wasn't the nicest! But when you managed to capture his heart and hints of a connection began to show, he allowed himself to slow down a bit and really understand you. Care about you.

And when you feel anxious about the relationship, he always reminds you how much he loves you (take it sexually if you want, but I don't mean it like that). Just...only in the mirror world. Trust me, he's not embarrassed about loving you, it's just more comfortable for both of you. His image and your nerves.

In the privacy of his own safe world, he doesn't need to worry about how vulnerable he is, and he can praise and encourage you as much as you need. A moment for him to feel softer and you to feel stronger.

Prosciutto

You must be Pesci's twin or something - difference is he isn't as harsh with you. Sensitive and a follower, not a leader, maybe you feel security in Prosciutto's straightforward, no-nonsense demeanor.

Prosciutto is good at seeing the strengths in someone and raising their confidence as we see in canon, and he surely does it with you. He can see how gentle and well-meaning you are in everything you do and he reminds you of your greatness whenever you fear being "too soft"

In turn you offer the quiet he needs sometimes. He is relatively fine with spending a life alone, but a balance of peace and your company is better than he could've imagined. And don't worry about not being good at comforting others with words, he was never one to enjoy that kind of comfort anyways.

I don't know how else to end this section so....imagine him holding your hand :) DO IT NOW

Pesci

If someone were to describe you, they sure would call you brave, headstrong, and....maybe not the brightest? You aren't stupid! You just...aren't the smartest, and it's very clear. However, your open nature makes it easy for Pesci to talk to you.

You see the sides of Pesci that a lot of people take way too long to notice, like how observant and clever he can be. You don't see him as too soft, you know that he takes his job as seriously as he can.

While his meeker nature doesn't do much to dilute your chaos, he never feels bad about it! You're the light of his life, and honestly he really looks up to you!

If you want to stand up for him when his teammates pick on him, go ahead! I mean, the only thing you'll achieve is becoming their second target, but uh....maybe it's a bonding opportunity?? Even if nothing comes from it, he will love you forever.

Melone

What a fucking prude you are. A prude based on NOTHING. My goodness. Were you a sheltered child perhaps? Jokes aside it's a miracle you two can stand each other. Melone isn't picky with partners but someone like you? You're so incompatible at first that the gang assumed he had other plans for chasing you.

Emphasis on at first. Maybe you were a challenge to him, a "passion project" to see how much he could open you up one way or another. I can't say which ways it worked or not, that's for your own interpretation, but in time you became the most annoying couple the team had ever seen.

If you weren't teasing each other, you were bickering in a tease-y way. And if you weren't bickering, Melone was teaching you some sciencey shit in a voice so syrupy sweet that Ghiaccio's practically retching.

Maybe you try to flip the script, try to pick his brain and open him up like he tries to do to you; oh you're lucky he loves you so much, you're the one person he will do anything for.

Ghiaccio

Growing up the way he did, he learned that everything about him is wrong, and everyone is a threat at worst, liability at best. Even you, with your patient smile and kind words and....how you actually...listened to him rant.

He's scared of you, then pissed at you, then so confused by you he doesn't know what to do. If you didn't make the first move then a relationship just isn't happening. While he's the more assertive of you two, you'll have to do the heavy lifting just that once.

Falling for a person so different is easier, but maintaining the relationship is harder on his end, I'm not even going to lie. Sometimes he's frustrated by your unconditional love, sometimes there's a savior-like feeling he has about you, sometimes he fears these ever-changing feelings, and tried to distance himself from you. But you...always help him through it.

And don't think it's only you changing him, he also encourages you to stand up for yourself, to speak your mind, to put your own mask on first sometimes. (insert italian screaming)

Risotto

He's not emotionless, at least...he doesn't like to think so. But in this line of work he needs to keep a tight lip and blank stare. Something he's perfected. So when he watches you openly sob at a movie, curled against his body as you sniffle and choke, he doesn't get moved to the same extent.

Do you get to see Risotto's true emotions? Yes...in time. You've both got targets tattooed to your back, so if he ever thinks it's safe enough to get close to you to the point of being openly emotional, it's because you've spent several YEARS together.

But he understands you, he feels the same as you as you shout or grin or cry. Not only does he understand your emotions, but you may be secretly amplifying his own. There's no tears, but a tearing, clawing feeling in his heart. No smile, but a fuzz in his face that he can't clear out.

You are the ocean and he is a rock, standing strong through every storm and watching both the rage and the calm with equal admiration.

[tubbypeddle]

Hi! I know it was awhile ago but I was the requester for the Bucci Gang w/ autistic s/o dhdbdbskd. I absolutely loved it!! Now dare I ask but do you maybe also have any headcanons for an autistic s/o but with La Squadra? I love them sm dhdhdjdkdn and I'd really appreciate it!! Especially with any comfort ideas you may have for it too! (as a possible bonus hehe) Love your writing and thanks again!!

Hi again!!1!11!!

I apologize for taking forever answering this one. I was working on a secret little project and forgot to clear out my inbox like I've been meaning to.

anyway i was super excited to start this one

(author's note: credits to gif owners, of course, i don't own them <3)

anyway (again)

Risotto

Risotto is very firm by nature. Or, at least, he is after you've met him.

When he finds out you're autistic, he might become a little more firm with you. He puts in place rules for you to follow that may seem a little unfair.

But it's dangerous, being associated with him.

It's not intentional, but he thinks of you as weaker than him. He feels a stronger urge to protect you than everyone else. Everyone else in the Execution Squad have Stands to defend themselves. You may not. He does not want you to be taken advantage of.

It may take a big argument to clear this up, because he's rather dense when things aren't being spelled out for him word for word. At least, in situations like these.

After that, though, he takes more time to observe you so he can note what makes you happy. So he's less likely to upset you in the future.

Ghiaccio

He's definitely a little autistic. I imagine him a little like Sheldon from Young Sheldon LMAO

No but seriously, he's quieter with you. You understand him in a way that's different from the way the others understand him. He still gets very agitated very quickly, but it's different with you.

The two of you can bond over your hatred for textures, too. Velvet or velcro feels like hellfire on your skin. (oops a little projection on my part)

He doesn't ever point any of his anger out on you. And if he even suspects that you might've been upset by his outbursts, he's quick to apologize.

The others make fun of him for it. They call him soft, like snow instead of ice. But he can't bring himself to care. Not when you're the only one on the team that could even begin to comprehend his thoughts.

Melone

Despite his...very obvious gooning, he is still a genius. He's observant, he's technical, and he probably knows you're autistic before you tell him.

He subtly prompts you to talk about your special interests, just so he can listen to you talk. Other than Ghiaccio, and maybe Pesci, he might be the most understanding, even though he's not autistic himself.

He definitely is a little neurodivergent himself, but he's not autistic.

It's not often that he gets you gifts for ur special interest, because he'd rather listen to you talk about it while he's working. It's like listening to a podcast while he works.

He eats all the food you can't eat easily. It's not like he minds.

Prosciutto

Mmmmmm, truthfully, you might get along with him the least.

He's a nitpicker. And, as an autistic myself, I know it's hard to differentiate between when he's just picking at our flaws, or when he's just saying things to say them.

He nitpicks to make you as perfect for him as what he believes he deserves. It's a weird complex.

Someone who's autistic has a harder time just brushing off his coddling and aggressive doting because he's all up in your face about it.

That isn't to say that you don't get along with him at all. He's rather sweet when he's not, y'know. He does things for you, he gets you gifts, all that fun stuff. It's just about the nitpicking that you two get into arguments about, really. Because he does like hearing you talk, and he does sweet things for you, too.

It's really just that one habit that you can't get over. It takes a lot to break him out of it, if you have the patience for that.

Formaggio

He's a great communicator boyfriend. He likes talking to you a lot, and listening to you in turn.

It's a pretty smooth ride into the relationship with the two of you. Since Formaggio is very open to talking out any of your issues calmly, rather than starting an argument, or avoiding a topic entirely until resentment starts to build.

You can appreciate his straight forward attitude on communication.

It doesn't take long for him to clock what your interests are because of his easy communication.

Out of all of the gang, he's the smoothest about how he goes about finding out how to get you gifts. He'll ask you to talk about your interests, which isn't out of the ordinary for him, while mentally noting which things you're more into, which ones you've expressed wanting more content for.

And, what do you know, figurines and books will appear in your room as if Santa came early.

Illuso

He doesn't exactly understand it, or why you act the way you do sometimes. But he likes you well enough, so he's willing to learn.

He takes the food you won't eat, he keeps the textures you don't like away from you. He memorizes what your reactions to things mean, how you stim, even.

Most of this is not intentional. He's just good at stuff like this. He's a very keen people watcher, which is why he's usually assigned to stake outs or kidnappings. (He's a stalker)

(Man in the Mirror makes it easy)

He mentions your interests off handedly, just because he likes to see you light up.

Pesci

(i hate this gif so much LMAO stop caressin him like that)

Similar to Formaggio, he's an excellent communicator. You're a lot nicer to him than his fratello, at least.

He enjoys your straightforward attitude and tendencies. It's a lot easier to understand than Prosciutto's aggressive corrections.

He might be a little dense, so he won't pick up on your autism for a long time. You might even have to tell him straight up that you're autistic because he won't piece it together himself.

But that's okay. He makes up for his density by being a sweetheart.

He also will take the food you don't want to eat. He's not picky.

He likes to learn about your interests so that he can have in depth conversations about them with you. If your interests are a little morbid, he may get a little squeamish, but he can deal with it, he assures you. He's a grown man. In the Mafia. He can handle something a little morbid, he's seen worse.

(he can't, but he tries to anyway)

Gelato and Sorbet

They're a package deal, because of course they are.

Gelato might not notice at first. Not like Sorbet does. Sorbet had actually graduated from university, with a bachelor's in psychology. So he definitely knows you're not neurotypical, at least.

They're both very open to your mannerisms, though. Neither of them are bothered by petty things like how you eat your food or what blankets you like more than others.

They're more than willing to accommodate for you. Changing one thing about their routine is a small price to pay to make sure you're comfortable with them.

Gelato is almost aggressive with how he'll defend you about what makes you comfortable, while Sorbet is a little more composed. But no less deranged, really.

Both of their first instincts is violence, in different ways.

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good god this took me way longer than i wanted it to, but my life got way too complicated way too fast, so i was a little distracted. sorry for the wait!