#mel's essays

[born-to-lose]

Romantic cannibalism is about loving someone so much you want to devour them, want to get a taste of their flesh and blood because kissing and giving head isn't enough. You want to merge with them to be as close to them as possible, which you do by eating them and having part of them with you forever (or rather inside you). It's about the metaphor of literally wanting to give your lover your heart because you can't live without it just like you can't live without them. It's about the sheer intimacy of it all because it's already intimate enough to be physically close during sex and drinking their blood and eating them even more so. It's about the intense desire that no level of closeness is close enough to the point you're so hungry for them you feel the need to eat them. It's about the exclusivity that this person is the only one who's allowed to do this to you. It's about the sacrifice you make for love

[angellwingss]

Not trying to start anything but like. The amount of arcane fans that genuinely believe Jayce only cares abt Viktor and completely push Mel to the side or even forget she completely EXISTS is. Baffling

[yikesforever]

Okay so I've been thinking about agathario like everyone else I can only assume. So I'm thinking about agathario roots. Like how did this witch meet death. Did Agatha know Rio before the whole Salem 7 incident, is Rio the reason Agathas mother thought Agatha was evil? So like they meet before and she was killing witches for Rio as a form of courting. And then agathas mom got wind of it and was like my daughter a LESBIAN?!? so then her mom made this whole scheme to kill Agatha since she is "evil". And the whole I can be good

[fazedlight]

I still don't understand why the showrunners did this.

[danielpowell]

Have been thinking a lot about how the country Siffrin and the King are from is inspired by a real world country and I'm not super entrenched in the Fandom because I'd rather not engage with the fan base at large, to be frank, but I'm throwing my hat into the theory ring to say it's likely Haiti, and I have Taíno astronomy to thank for that comparison

[samfangalore]

This show is HEAVY in the symbolism and detail in literally every scene. Rn I’m thinking about Mel and Jayce, just after Mel makes Jayce a councilor, they are watching a violinist together and Mel is so smart, she knows Jayce is just a scientist so she starts insuring Jayce’s future success and therefore her own success by making him aware that he’s unwittingly put a huge target on his back that the other councilors are going to start taking aim if he doesn’t start paying attention, and she teaches him how to play the game, literally while the violist is ‘putting on a show’, and Jayce doesn’t know what he’s doing but he’s smart too so he learns that this is what he has to do and so he immediately starts following Mel’s advice and brokering partnerships to hextech with the other councilors, slowly gaining allies through dubious trades, and meanwhile the whole time the only councilor who he doesn’t talk to and who isn’t paying attention to all the scheming in the background is heimerdinger who is the only other scientists on the council and Mel is the one able to read all of the cards and who is setting everything in motion to her favor and paying enough attention to know who is a problem and what their weaknesses are and she does it all with a flair because she’s an artist my girl is SO FUCKING SMART SHES BEEN DOING THIS SINCE EPISODE 1

[thesquirrelqueer]

one thing I love about the article in htdio is how each character reads the part that specifically hurts them the most

- jessica wants to move out of her parents house and live on her own. she reads “indeed they are unlikely to experience most of life’s many milestones like living independently” throughout the show jessica is shown to be preparing to live alone and the article implies that all her hard work is for nothing because she won’t be able to do it.

- caroline daydreams about getting married some day and having a family. adding on to jessica’s phrase she reads “or getting married and having children” caroline is a romantic, marriage is very much something she looks forward to doing. in saying that autistic people can’t get married or have children, it in a sense views us as kids who are never allowed to grow up, even if we want to.

- tommy is a character who lives in the shadow of his allistic younger brother. even as an older sibling, he still sometimes feels younger due to how autistic people are infantilized. he reads “this generous doctor has given his differently abled patients the next best thing: a spring formal” referring to jessica and caroline’s lines about autistic people not being able to grow up like “normal” people so in lieu of that they get to have a formal instead.

- mel is someone who knows who they are and their non binary identity is very important to them. they read “for one evening they will be transformed into kings and queens. for one evening they will be celebrated” mel has expressed many times in the show their discomfort with cisnormativity and heteronormativity with the formal so the article leaning into these gendered categories hits hard.

- marideth is shown to deal with a lot of sensory issues, especially with sounds. she reads “they will also face their worst fears: a nightclub full of lights and sounds that could trigger tantrums, meltdowns, or worse” it also feeds into the stereotype that all autistic people do are have tantrums and meltdowns. while these things do happen to autistic people, it’s very dehumanizing to imply.

- drew, who doesn’t want to “be the poster child for if he can then you can” reads “so when you’re feeling nervous about that tough conversation at work think of the brave boy with autism asking the girl he likes to the dance” it’s also interesting that drew has been struggling for a lot of the show to ask out marideth, so this line is an even bigger slap in the face to him.

- remy is an interesting case. he reads “these inspiring kids may be terminally human but thanks to dr. amigo they won’t let their special needs stop them. if they can do it, what’s your excuse?” remy actually gets a song in response to the article called “nothing at all” in which they talk about things such as “nothing about us without us” and how he is so much more than his disability. it’s also important to note that remy is the only character under the age of 18, so having them read the section calling the group “kids” is especially poignant.

[mistresscitrusslice]

"I'm only cryptic and Machiavellian 'cause I care 🩷😘"

Mastermind is THE Meljay song from Mel's perspective. It's about time I did a song breakdown for Meljay bc honestly they deserve it. Truly an underrated overhated couple

"Once upon a time, the planets and the fates and all the stars aligned" Brings up the visual of the astral-looking magic that brought them together in the first place. Maybe fate didn't bind them, but their love feels celestial anyway.

"You and I ended up in the same room at the same time" I don't think Mel intentionally bumped into them in the hallway, but I wouldn't be surprised if she did. If that hadn't happened, I do believe she would have sought him out at a later date, maybe offered him her patronage under the table, but that's getting into fanfiction territory.

"And the touch of a hand lit the fuse" This could not get any more literal

"To assess the equation of you" THE NERDS ARE FLIRTING. wee woo wee woo They're literally so cute I'm fuming. Can we be certain this song isn't actually about them?

"Checkmate, I couldn't lose" I feel like Mel has this attitude about a lot of things. She seems like the kind of person who has at least three contingency plans for every situation and as a result is used to getting her way.

"What if I told you none of it was accidental / And the first night that you saw me, nothing was gonna stop me?" Mel certainly had her eyes set on Jayce from the moment of his trial. To an extent, even before the trial, from the moment she heard his name from Elora's mouth. Post-time skip, every one of her moves toward him was intentional to attract and mold him. Even before it becomes obvious that she fell harder for him than intended, she clearly harbors feelings and admiration for him as far as pre-time skip.

"What if I told you I'm a mastermind?" BECAUSE SHE ISSSSSS "And now you're mine" BECAUSE HE ISSSSS

"You see, all the wisest women had to do it this way / 'Cause we were born to be the pawn in every lover's game" Something something Mel is a fox. She has to be because she doesn't want to be the pawn to her wolf mother. This is not something she can just turn off when it comes to her love life, but maybe she can learn to (or maybe they can make each other worse)

"I'm the wind in our free-flowing sails / And the liquor in our cocktails" Ship motifs, only loosely tied. (I think that line would work better for Melvik) The second line here works really, really well for Meljay, though. I'm specifically thinking of the opera scene where she hands him the golden flute of golden wine.

"What if I told you none of it was accidental / and the first night that you saw me, I knew I wanted your body?" Oh, she for sure wanted Jayce's body, but more than that, she wanted his mind. She and I can agree that nothing is hotter than reckless intelligence

"No one wanted to play with me as a little kid / So I've been scheming like a criminal ever since" Hmm something tells me Mel didn't interact with a lot of people her age as a child

"To make them love me and make it seem effortless" And she does it well too!

"This is the first time I've felt the need to confess / And I swear / I'm only cryptic and Machiavellian 'cause I care" This song plays it off in a joking way, but this is unironically Mel 😭 She cares about peace, she cares about not going to war, she cares about progress, and she cares about Jayce. The road to Machiavellianism is paved with sweet little arm kisses with your lover's head in your lap and soft finger brushes in the chilly night air.

"I laid the groundwork and then saw a wide smirk / On your face, you knew the entire time / You knew that I'm a mastermind" Jayce absolutely does not know. He knows that Mel is a political mastermind, but he does not know that that is also being directed toward him, the sweet boy. If he found out that Mel approached him partly out of ulterior motives, he would be mad, but it wouldn't last. They've both harbored feelings for too long not to repair their relationship. He can't stay mad at her and she has a way with words. Their character flaws have glued them together.

[melblur]

I've been seeing so many youtubers just doing this "i promise its worth watching" thing clearly aping the Jan Misali mario games video. without understanding Why that video did so in the first place

time to rant

The reason this is such an effective hook to "how many Super Mario games are there?" is, as you might expect, layered. First is, of course, because it's a question that you would think at first glance is completely obvious and not worth thinking harder about, in the same way that "how many episodes of Seinfeld are there" isn't an interesting question: because we know that, right? you can look that up! but the thumbnail is also aware of this seeming disinterest in the question and *spoils* its results, which causes another layer of intrigue in the viewer: if the video creator is aware that the result is uninteresting, enough to be worth spoiling before the video itself even starts - then there has to be something ELSE worth seeing in those 46 minutes, right?

And therein comes the third point as to why the line works - because the video actually IS interesting! The results may seem obvious at first glance, yet through the polling and votes that went into generating them, we're made aware that there is a surprising amount of disagreements and confusion regarding what classifies as a Super Mario game - disagreements that stem as far as occurring between Nintendo's own official platforms depending on the region being sourced! Everyone has a loose understanding of what a Super Mario game is and what a Super Mario game isn't - but when push comes to shove we realize that there's a lot of individual factors that can change someone's perception on the topic, subjective divergence on a topic so seemingly objective in its measurement.

Compare this to "how many trees are there in Mario Kart Wii", which literally just looks at every course and how many trees are in it - there is nothing actually interesting going on therein beyond what the title presents. It feels like such a complete misinterpretation of why the thumbnail worked in the first place and i fear we're probably going to see this shit now be employed by tons of other channels also misunderstanding it.

[lucreziaces]

ruminating on lucrezia setting down the candle under the rope, knowing that it was 50/50 odds she was sending her own brother to his death and not really caring because no matter if he died or the lady he was spending the night with died, she would've gotten revenge for paolo's death versus her telling cesare to eat something before taking a meal with della rovere in case he tries something (because she knew his plans to poison both pope and son since it was really her idea). with juan, she leaves it up to the fates to decide if he will die, but with cesare she takes no chances, making sure he will only be poisoned enough to keep him from chasing her down, to allow her time to make a life for herself outside of rome, outside their love for each other. even though both brothers committed the same crime-- killing an innocent that she cared for (i'd actually like to argue that ces one upped juan by making lucrezia an accomplice to his crime!!), she was unwilling to punish them in the same way because she still held love in her heart for cesare, even if he did steal the last of her innocence. whereas, the second she put it together that juan had been the one to kill paolo, her love for him died.

[infinitelystrangemachinex]

My ideal season 2 scenario is that Jayce is the only one out of the hextech triad to actually become gravely injured (narratively satisfying the pattern of him being punished for doing the right thing), and Mel and Viktor have to come together to find a way to take care of him/explore their magic artifacts/butt heads politically

Oh man anon I am so excited to see this trio's dynamic in season 2! I love the idea of Mel and Viktor exploring their magic and butting heads. There's a lot of great analysis out there on Jayce and Viktor's character and design similarities, and on Mel and Jayce's similarities, but hey, Mel and Viktor were designed by the same (EXTREMELY talented) man and I'm pretty sure he designed them to be opposites in every way, accommodating the magical forces behind their powers. But being explicit opposites also implies similarities. And I think they are written to appear diametrically opposed, but will end up being much more similar than they are different once the Piltover-Zaun war actually starts.

Without their opposite-but-similar magic, I think we could leave Mel and Viktor's dynamic where it is in season 1 (nonexistent and only acting as a reflection of Jayce choosing between opposing priorities). BUTTTTTT, magic is still a volatile subject in Piltover politics. Piltover tamed Hextech to fit into its image of industrialization, but Mel and Viktor both represent magic that is not like Hextech at all! Viktor's magic is everything Heimerdinger and Piltover have ever feared, and I don't see Piltover reacting with full fellowship to Mel's magic either. Because again, it's not Hextech! It's outside the boundaries of what Piltover knows and is comfortable with! And I think Jayce will be forced to choose between Piltover and Viktor, and likely, he will have to choose between Piltover and Mel too, at least until Mel takes steps to secure her position, which I bet she'll do.

Imagine it, anon! Mel clearly choosing peace over her mother and her birth. Mel revealing her magical secret to, I assume, save not only herself but others in the council room with her. These choices are Mel completely reversing the trajectory she was on for YEARS in order to be who she wants to be, which for her is a moral but still powerful figure, who is opposed to what Ambessa and by extension Noxus represent. And imagine that in season 2, it's Mel who's punished by Piltover, the city she loves, for doing the right thing! Because Piltover as a system has not wanted the "right thing" probably ever - it wants security, power, and profit. And Mel proves by the end of season 1 that those are not her true priorities.

This works well with the unspoken similarity between Mel and Viktor in that they are both technically immigrants to Piltover, outsiders who had to be smart and creative to find a place for themselves in Piltover's system. If Piltover turns on them both, I think this would unite them eventually.

Jayce believes he is doing the right thing, and I think that he's written amazingly well for a lot of reasons. One of those many reasons being that Mel has built him up into this personification of her own idealism. Someone who wants progress for progress' sake and not for profit's sake, who will sacrifice political alliances for peace, and who wants to grace everyday people with power and magic. Where I think the show's true genius lies is that these ideals don't represent who Jayce truly is after the season 1 timeskip. He thinks this is who he is because he is easily influenced, easily convinced, and easily led. Except that while Mel showed a clear break in her characterization at the end of season 1 to redirect herself and be a different person, Jayce so far has simply kept doing the same things he's always done, which is believe he's doing the right thing, make a grand gesture that appears to be the right thing until it turns out it was NOT the right move at all, and then become disillusioned and more frustrated ("They have Shimmer / We have Hextech." - "They're dangerous!" - "Do you not understand? I am a part of this now!").

The first 3 episodes of season 1 were an exception because Viktor showed up in Jayce's life as a total dark horse and reversed Jayce's fortunes, and then Mel was there also totally unexpectedly to save both of their asses from exile. Without Viktor and Mel on his side, Jayce's choices would've turned out badly for him!

The only thing we haven't seen after that final vote in the council chamber is the step where Jayce becomes frustrated and disillusioned. Anon, imagine Jayce, who's just burned all his bridges in Piltover to make the biggest and grandest gesture he could've possibly made, which is to circumvent Piltover's government entirely to make essentially a back-alley deal with a mob boss to create a new nation that would compete with Piltover for resources. With his barely surface level knowledge of economics, politics, and Zaun in general, of course he has every reason to believe he is saving the world with this gesture, he is saving Zaun's civilians as people living in what he believes is a disorganized, undefended place, and he hinged it all on a deal with Silco, whom he neither knows nor took the time to understand, and so of course he has no idea that demanding Jinx in handcuffs was as good as throwing his plan in the trash.

Imagine a Jayce who has done all this work, taken all these risks, and feels on top of the world both for believing he's achieved peace and for spitting in the faces of the council he reviles (except for Mel of course) - only to be nearly killed by the people he thinks he made all these sacrifices for, mere hours after his deal with Silco. The Jayce we know up to this point is not going to react well to thinking that Silco betrayed him, and with Jayce's sweeping generalizations about undercity people, my bet is that in his mind, Silco = undercity = Zaun, and it will be his biggest moment of frustration and disillusionment yet, such that he'll want to go to war.

I always like to remember that Jayce's character flaws don't come from him trying to do the right thing, even clumsily. They come from how he reacts to his plans and his surroundings going pear-shaped.

And goodness gracious, anon, imagine how much worse it'll be if Jayce IS injured in this attack! Jayce takes things personally, and this would make a war that's not really about him feel even more personal!

Contrast this with Mel, who has a line in the sand that she won't cross. She'll find another, less violent way to approach the conflict. And with Viktor's scene where he defuses Jinx's bomb, he'll want something similar. Another thing that will unite Mel and Viktor, in my dearest hopes and dreams lol.

My hope is that the drama for this trio in season 2 will come from Mel and Viktor wanting something very different from what Jayce wants out of the conflict with Zaun. I think that in most other situations, Jayce would still have Mel and Viktor on his side, but in such a huge and violent conflict like this one, I don't think he'll have them on his side. Which isn't gonna go well for him. What I am VERY interested to see is if he ends up allying with someone like Ambessa, and then has to come to his OWN conclusions for once about what he is being guided to do! I don't think he has to be a perfectly "lawful good" protagonist to be a great character, and I don't think that's how he's gonna end up, but I also don't think he'll end the season being a warmonger either. He'll change, and I hope that he either has to forge his own path all on his own, or Mel building him up to personify her ideals comes full circle and he decides to change to be more like who Mel truly is.

As for Viktor and Mel, I won't say too much because of very likely enormous spoilers. But while I think they will work together because of their similarities, Viktor being [REDACTED] and his foreshadowed bitter rivalry with [REDACTED] will force them apart ideologically in the end. My greatest wish though is that even though Mel and Viktor will clash, they will STILL need to work together to achieve their own ends which to me is the most delicious possible situation for season 2.

[born-to-lose]

Since @gia-is-a-punk-rocker asked me to elaborate, here's the little essay

So I properly got into all of them in 2020 which resulted in them getting me through some of my worst phases and ending up as comfort music to me. I'm also planning to get tattoos referencing them, even if the only one with a somewhat clear vision is a "You can't put your arms around a memory" tattoo

Johnny Thunders

I got into him at the height of my Guns N' Roses phase after reading Duff McKagan's book in which he talked about how he admired Johnny Thunders, so I checked him out and immediately held the So Alone album close to my heart (which I finally own on vinyl after 4 years of searching). I've been collecting his records since and as someone who was just starting to learn to play the guitar, his quote saying that rock n roll isn't about being the best musician but about the attitude gave me hope that maybe I didn't have to play like Eddie Van Halen. I'm sure you can name technically better musicians than Johnny, but he was basically what you would expect from a rocker. I like the rawness of his music, from the New York Dolls days over the Heartbreakers to his solo career. As somewhat of a pessimist myself, Born to Lose is a song I really identified with and You Can't Put Your Arms Around A Memory is a sort of melancholic song I always listen to when I'm sad because it embraces giving in while lifting me up at the same time

Tom Petty

As mentioned below, I got into his music through his duet with Stevie Nicks. Of course I had heard some of the classics before, but since I checked out his lesser known songs, I'm convinced this man has a song for every emotion and almost every situation. He's probably my favorite songwriter ever and I often draw inspiration from his writing when it comes to my own songwriting. Also, I really like his voice and how the songs he wrote suited it depending on how it sounded at that time (early yelping voice vs later smoother voice). I love that his stuff gets a lot of airplay on MTV now and I get excited when I recognize a video within seconds. I really want to collect his records, but my local record store doesn't really have any of it, though I did get my hands on a promo single of Listen To Her Heart

Stevie Nicks

I grew up with Fleetwood Mac and Stevie was always my favorite. A few years ago, I got into her solo music, starting with Edge Of Seventeen and Stop Draggin' My Heart Around, which led to listening to Tom Petty. I admire her for how she's still doing her thing and how she built up this career to the point everyone has heard her in an industry that's always been and still is dominated by men. Plus, how she hasn't attacked Lindsey Buckingham yet is beyond my comprehension. I love her voice, her songwriting that makes me feel like things will be Okay™️, her style and throughout college I constantly switched between band shirt and leather wearing rocker and dressing like Stevie Nicks. I've been collecting her records and my "weird obsession with her" made me casually come out as bi to the record store owner I'm buddies with lol

Johnny Thunders, Tom Petty and Stevie Nicks are my personal holy trinity

[melnonny]

a while ago someone requested i draw runningwind but i lost the ask D: anyway. always thought he was a cool dude

[sarcasmisalifechoice]

I think for me so much of Hozier's music is about the fact he's Irish and I'm Irish and that's it, so much if it is just Irish

[murcielagatito]

fr tho it is like… almost funny the way a lot of (white) Abbott fans talk like listen I think Melissa is a fun part of the ensemble of characters. I like her even. Buttttt like, ppl will act like she’s so interesting and compelling bc of [insert qualities that are also deeply present for Ava] lmfao (thinking mainly abt like harsher exterior but cares deeply but there’s other stuff) and yet do they care abt Ava. do they. anyways thank you for pointing out the fandoms racism and also your art etc. I am sure it is fuckin exhausting

is difficult out hea pero anyways youre welcome and thankyouuuu <3<3<3

[fruixtii]

I hate diasomnia I hope lilia vanrouge dies