#meh i tried my best

[ive-been-timebombed]

CHAPTER FOUR

Big emotional moments here.

Oh Danny knew he screwed up the moment he appeared back in his throne The line that went out the door was gone also. Most likely the ghosts sensed the emotions Danny projected onto his haunt and the ghosts scattered not wanting to deal with the nervous and scared ghost king.

He wasn’t thinking when he disappeared at the loud crash! He left his son in a mess! Oh no! But his kid wasn’t scared when he left. So the glass breaking was normal? Oh how he wished he could go back and time and take care of the kid.. but he couldn’t no matter how much he begged Clockwork he knew that. Not to say he didn’t try.. Clockwork didn’t even let him watch his kid grow up.

Danny should visit his baby later. When the helmet thing is off. He can take care of the core problem as he does so. His baby doesn’t know who he was. He didn’t leave a picture or anything with Catherine but the kid did mention something about a picture.. maybe he should go as human? So the kid doesn’t realize he’s the same ghost! Perfect idea!

________

Jason was furiously typing on the laptop. He was searching all he could about ‘The Ghost King’ ‘Phantom’. The only thing coming up was Pariah Dark and a autocorrect to Fenton when he typed a bit too fast.

The link that came up with Fenton said something with ghost so he clicked it. That led him into a black hole of information that just seemed biased. He read all the articles published by the scientists. Then in 2006 they started mentioning a ghost.. a certain ghost that Jason was just looking for.

FENTON WORKS

All the information and weapons you need about ghosts! We are happy to say we have figured out what exactly what ghosts are! This site is made by the Fenton Family.

(Picture of a family of 4. A bigger man than Jason himself in bright orange. A fit woman in blue with ginger hair. The older teen with ginger hair like her mother and a cyan headband. Then a younger teen with black hair like the father and frankly skinny considering his parents.)

Click here to read more

Click here to buy things

Click here to contact us

Jason learned a lot of information about Phantom and the Fentons.. Jason now just needed to find a way to summon the ghost once again and make him talk. The ghost seemed nice and not destroy the world just because he could type of being. Then again Jason wasn’t the most.. sane? Normal? Person to ask about what is normal and not normal. He would ask Dick but he was still likely drugged and concussed. He didn’t want to deal with that. Not to mention Dick also wasn’t normal.

___________

“What the ancients..” Danny muttered looking at himself in the mirror. He transformed back to his human form not even a hour ago and he’s already regretting it. He still looked like his 20 year old self. He didn’t age a day from when he first transformed. The clothes were even the same he left in.. he could only pin point a few differences on his body. Like the more ghostly attributes. The pointer ears, sharper teeth, and paler skin.

Danny knew he should’ve shifted between forms more but it just didn’t seem right without the kid next to him..

—————

“Daaaa! Deeee!” A child’s yelling pierced the air followed by a loud crash then a giggle.

“I’m coming! I’m old- okay. Accept it while you still can.” A young man’s voice came followed by a black hair with white on the back young adult. The man had icy blue eyes and a scar on his bottom lip. The child the man was talking to looked like him.

The child had curly black hair not a hint of white unlike his father. Darker blue eyes that seemed to shine when he saw his father. Chubby cheeks and stubby fingers. The kid was wearing a shirt that had the words ‘I’m just outta this world. Floating by the stars’ surrounded by stars. Along with jean pants and a gray jacket. The shoes stuck out due to the bright yellow color of the rain boots.

“Oh don’t give me that look.. I know I’m only 20! You make me feel 50 years older than I am. Specially with all your sass.” Danny put his hands on his hips and looked down at the kid.

“Aunt Cathy say it comes from you.” Jason put his hands on his hips and looked up at the kid.

“I know it did. I can’t blame anyone else but myself and it’s horrible.” Danny huffed sticking his tongue out at the child which was followed by the kid doing the same to the young adult.

Suddenly the mood changed and Danny’s expression changed into a more somber one. He couched down and looked at the kid.

“Jason, you know how I sometimes leave you with you Aunt Cathy?” Danny felt horrible. His core hurt and he wanted to hug the child and not let go.

“Yeah? But Daddy always comes back so I ain’t scared!” Jason grinned moving forward and putting both hands on the adults face.

“Jason what I say about the hands and other peoples faces?” Danny brought his hands to the kids and pulled the hands off his face but didn’t let go of the kids hands.

“Not to do it.. but don’t worry! I only do it to you!” Jason hopped on his feet unable to stay still like any child.

“Okay, you’re such a bully.” Danny deadpanned, “This is serious Jason, I don’t think I’m coming back this time.”

“What? No. Daddy you gotta come back. You can’t leave .” Jason looked up at his father not really understanding the situation .

“I don’t want to kid but I want you safe and I’m not that.” Danny pulled his son into a hug burying his face into the curly mess that was on top of Jason’s head. He stood up picking up the toddler his arms surrounding the other in a tight hug.

Danny knew it was stupid to say this while he still had the child. He should’ve just left the kid at Catherine’s and not return. But then he thought about the kid getting all ready to come back to him waiting at the door with his to big backpack only for him not to return. He didn’t want that for the kid. He didn’t want his kid to be sitting in front of the door sad because he couldn’t understand what was happening and why his father wasn’t there. He wanted just a bit longer with his child.. even if it was in tears.

————

Jason was sure he had the right man. The scar was exactly the same. It was a line on the bottom right lip the that split into two at the bottom. He didn’t know what to think of the being.. his father? From what his Ma told him. Catherine not Shelia. His father was a good man. A bit too sarcastic for his own good but it also made him funny. He had weird ways of saying things. Never used a saying right or just made it his own. He had a slight lisp and had an accent. Couldn’t cook to save his life and hated toast. Hurt himself with stupid things but was incredibly smart. Could turn a microwave into a gun in a hour alone.

Jason wondered if he got some of those qualities.? Before he died and turned into a monster. Dick always said he had a lisp and used some words wrong. Like fruit loop and ancients.. apparently he used one as an insult and the other as a replacement for some words.

@boopjuice

[possamble]

Commit homosexual violence

hell yeah?

[ratguy-nico]

2# Father of the Bob

And this is a perfect example of a great episode beyond a holiday special episode (I didn’t even realized that it was a christmas special until I read the series wiki)

The episode gets me since minute one. Since the very first scene I knew this episode would be it. And is just that this first scene is devastating, seeing how Big Bob demerit Bob’s efforts and ideas, he doesn’t even take a moment to think about how this hurts Bob, it’s not important, is not a moment that would mark Bob for life, is just another day. It makes me sick.

Then I saw the 15 minutes rule, and it reminded me so much of my own relationship with my grandma that Big Bob became immediately a villain in my head, some hurtful man who didn’t care about his son, but oh boy if I was wrong.

Big Bob is not a villain, is not a bad man, he’s just a very imperfect dad. Because yeah (for me) Big Bob is not a good dad, not a bad dad either, and I get this for others episodes as well.

Big Bob wasn’t a great dad, he loves Bob of course, but he also hurt him deeply over the years and since a young age, but how the serie deal with this is what amazed me. Big Bob in this moment of his life, where he thinks he already lost his son, is still trying to change, which is huge for me.

Big Bob, even if at first didn't wanted to admit it, understand why Junior go, why they couldn’t work together and finally recognize that he made things in the wrong way, and he is indeed trying to change and be more accesible and communicative, we see more of this in further episodes. But he doesn’t do this expecting for Bob to go back, he does it because is the right thing to do, is what needs to be done.

I’m not trying to say Bob wasn’t also in the wrong, cause he was, but he’s the one to extend the branch of olive and he does it in the best way possible.

Who knew this man could actually communicate his feelings in such an on point way. Damn.

And know that we are in this scene and I have to clarify this next part is my brain looking too deep into things. (pls bare with me)

For me this whole scene in Pete’s Gay Bar alludes not only to Bob’s burgers ideas or him running away from Big Bob's Dinner, but is also about his sexuality (and maybe even his autism).

Bob can not believe his father is just so comfortable in this kind of place, surrounding by people that are just like Bob, this parts that Bob always thought his father couldn’t accept, this parts of him he couldn’t even voice out loud himself. Cause in this scene is obvious they both know, but they just don't talk about it. Bob assumes Big Bob will never accept it and Big Bob try to not mention it cause he doesn’t get it, but he wants to get it, want to understand, but he doesn’t tell Junior any of this, maybe under the assumption that Junior doesn’t even care cause it just too late.

The line “You have weird and happy kids” broke me. Big Bob knows as well as Bob that the kids are different, neurodivergent, but don’t have the knowledge to refer properly about it. Big Bob accepting the fact that the kids are weird but still amazing and, most important, happy as they are, close the circle of him rejecting his son in the past for being weird and ungrateful (not happy) and for the cherish on the top he says “You are a good dad” cause yeah Bob is certainly doing it better than him at the past.

I really love this episode so much, maybe even more that the actual Top 1 but for now here it is. Is a complex episode, that I could see over and over and still think more about it.

EXTRAS

I love how passive-aggressive Linda is with Big Bob, she really wants for him and Bob to have a good relationship and she forced as she does with her own parents. But in this and other episodes is clear that she doesn't forgive Big Bob for all the things he put Bob trough.

The kids are the glue on the episode. With their innocence and naivety in the matter they get to bring the family together. They don’t get why their dad doesn't like Pop Pop but they don’t really care, they like their Grandpa and that’s what matters.

I kind of ship Big Bob and Pete, there it is I said it. Leave me alone. This destroy all my discourse but I just love the idea of Big Bob finding love again and in this man that obviously support him and like him the way he is, they get each other. Shut Up! leave alone.

Oh and "Baby You Can Chive My Car Burger" is so special to me, I'm just waiting for the right moment to cook it, is like one of my dreams in real life.

[bcbdrums]

Drakken: I want to do something...dangerous to celebrate Halloween. Ron: I'm in, homie! What do you have in mind? Kim: Ron, no. Drakken: How about...ooh, Shego, let's all go to a haunted house! Shego: What's wrong with the one we live in now? Ron: ... Kim: ... Drakken: On second thought let's move lairs for Halloween this year.

[hinamie]

Do you work on multiple art projects at once? Or do you have to finish one before starting another? If you do work on multiple at a time, how many is too many......... asking for a friend (ME, pls god help me)

Hi anon! The vast majority of the time I'm only working on one thing at a time :'> I find that what happens when I try to bench one project to work on another is I lose the motivation to come back to it entirely. My working theory as to why this happens revolves around the fact that I feel like each drawing Teaches(?) me something and shifts the expectations I have of myself--so if I put one piece aside to start and finish another, by the time the second one is done I feel like I've already surpassed the me that felt comfortably challenged and satisfied while working on the first one . So by that point if I /do/ want to try and salvage or finish the first one I feel like in order to clear the new bar that's been set I'd need to either a. redo the majority of it or b. start over entirely orz

Occasionally I will juggle multiple pieces (usually out of necessity on account of deadlines) and that's fine if it needs to happen but as far as my own workflow and Drawing Experience go i definitely don't prefer it :') If the stars could always align and I could guarantee that I would be equally enthused and motivated about all my ongoing wips then maybe things would be different but alas I have maladaptive perfectionism and hyperfixate on One (1) project at a time until I cant stand the sight of it anymore

All that being said, I'm not sure I can give a definite answer as to how many ongoing wips is too many ...? for me personally probably like 2-3 but I imagine that number is probably different for everyone . ANYWAY GOMEN this got long but I hope your friend (you) is doing ok with all your projects !! i will manifest Productivity and Inspiration but make sure not to burn yourself out ghjdsgsj <3

[simelune]

i miss playing mmorpgs like ffxiv :| but no money + no friends playing them rn, it is what it is

[toasterfire1737]

the sky is pretty

[dulciedeleche]

Cute Pet Names/Nicknames (Octavo X Reader/Astor X Reader)

Waaaaaaah hi I did NOT forget about these X Reader headcanons I just have NO motivation and NO ideas and NO idea how to write these half the time lmao. So this next one is just gonna be short but sweet. Enjoy!

Octavo

Octavo has these he would call you:

- Darling

- Songbird

- Dearest

- My love/dear

Octavo appreciates whatever you would call him as well. And even though he’s very fucking cute, calling him as such flusters him. He likes “handsome” and “beautiful” better, but he doesn’t necessarily mind “cute” as long as you two are very close. He might even be like “no u.” He also likes “‘Tavo” and “Octy,” though he prefers the latter being reserved for his lover only. And well... You are his lover, so there you go!

Astor

Astor generally doesn’t really use pet names that much, but when he does, he may call you

- Beloved

- Dear

- Starlight

- My sweet

These all depend on his mood. Generally when he’s happy or feeling just a little bit SAPPY for you that day hehehe. It’s kinda the same for anything you call him. However, he might not believe you if you give him a complimentary nickname (other people might not either ‘cause like look at him ksjfhkshfd but whatever f them he’s your babygirl). SPEAKING OF WHICH, you can call him babygirl, probably, but he won’t know wtf you’re talking about. At the end of the day, he may just be like “...Please just stick to “honey...”

[dare-g]

Thinking of dying my hair....

[toyherb]

I wish they let you type out messages on splatoon 3 not just drawings but also I wish I knew if anyone was giving me fresh likes

[creamecream]

Full Name: Unknown

Sex: Male (he/him)

Birthday: Unknown

Constellation: Drache Elch

Nation: Mondstadt

Affiliation: Fatui, Snezhnaya, The Tsaritsa

Special Dish: Chilled Ice

Titles: The Qilin, The Mindless Tsar

Weapon: Polearm (Metal whips powered by electro that slip from his sleeves during burst)

Element: Electro

[vhaos-chaotic-writing]

Orion Pax (TFO) x Cybertronian!Reader

Ay, Orion Pax - making my heart sigh and also make me want to smack the back of your helm. Nonetheless, you have my heart at your servo. (๑>؂•̀๑) Gender Neutral Cybertronian Reader!

WARNING: Spoilers from the movie (Transformers One 2024). First love, angst, fluff. Meh, didn't felt too sure with this one but I hope y'all like it!

You and D-16 have grown to become Orion's saviours when he is being chased by the guards.

You worked at the mines as well, and Orion was always the bot to bright your shifts. If he was not getting in trouble or being a little menace to his best friend, he was with you.

He always tries to make you laugh or have a conversation with you before Elita pulls him away from distracting you.

He shares with you his wish to help not only the miners, but also every single cybertronian about the whole energon situation. And that makes your spark buzz with warm feelings.

"Wanna become our hero, Orion?"

"I just want to help... buuut I wouldn't mind becoming your hero!"

"Orion, get back to work!"

Orion Pax always felt his spark twirl whenever he saw you work ("(Y/N) always works so hard!"), when he sees you help someone. ("Maybe the guards could learn a thing or two about (Y/N)...") - D-16 always groans about how annoying Orion is as he never shut ups about you.

When the race day arrived, Orion had to constantly remind himself of his own plan, but he was slightly angry at himself since the opportunity to sit by your side and have fun was going to be sacrificed for this time.

Of course... losing in such a humiliating way actually made him want to become stardust. But he remained positive - and even more when Sentinel Prime told him and D-16 they inspired the miners! The idea of having inspired you made him nearly squeal.

... Aaand now, whenever the picture of your faceplate comes to his mind Orion is worried - when he is thrown into the lower levels with D-16 has him wondering if you are okay. And when he and his friends find out the true? His worry only grows.

In the whole journey you become a light of hope for him - to keep pushing and running, to go back to Iacon and reveal the true to bring his people justice and for you, too.

And believe me when I tell you - when he is back at Iacon, he hugs you as if he hasn't seen you in years. "(Y/N)!" He says, happy, as you hug him back in surprise and smile, in awe at how changed he looked.

Such a soft smile he gave you as he held you, your optics and his staring at each other. And let's not talk about how his speech made you and your friends find a new hope and will to fight for your rights and what it was correct.

On the whole plan to stop Sentinel, Orion prayed for Primus for you to be safe and sound.

The moment Orion Pax managed to push Sentinel out of the way and be the one to recieve D-16's canon firing, he felt pain - but not only from having half his body blown away, but for having heard your cry of despair as you had witnessed his murder.

In the pain of having seen his once best friend let him go to die, Orion Pax can only think on everything he did, on his friends, his people... You.

"Primus... that's how I am leaving them? With... the sight of my death? Leaving them... to cry?"

But despair doesn't remain, as Orion comes back as Optimus Prime and fights against Megatron - for his planet, for his people, to be able to bring justice and live another day with you.

When everything is done and Megatron is vanished with his new found followers, he finds himself hugging you closely, letting you cry in his hold as he thanks Primus for giving him a chance to see you again.

"Please - please, never leave again!" You sob, grateful for having him back in your arms.

"My spark will always call back for you, (Y/N) - I'll never leave you again."

Hehe, listening to My Clematis (from Alien Stage) as I was writing the part of Orion's death and Optimus' rebirth was something wild.

(★ ω ★) Vhaos out!

[thatbadadvice]

Dear Advisor,

I tend to be a very reserved and shy person so making friends is super hard. Recently I’ve been wanting to socialize more , but I genuinely don’t know how. Is there any advice that you have that can make me look more approachable and not be scared to talk to people. I’m so stressed about being alone and not having any friends, but I just find it so hard to go up to people and make a conversation. I tried once but it became super awkward. I just really need good advice from someone on how to approach a person and continue a conversation.

Dear Awkward Anonymous,

It would be so easy to get into a whole deep let's-skeetshoot-therapy-on-the-internet session and try to help a total stranger unpack all of the GA-FUCKING-ZILLION ways in which social awkwardness shows up in a person's life. It seems easy, and it even seems meaningful and worthwhile, but to do so I would have to presume a bunch about your life, and make a bunch of assumptions about the ways in which my own experiences maybe/probably track with yours, and it would be a whole big wank-fest, and frankly ... it would be awkward. I'd be like you, standing there at the party, hoping that what I'm saying resonates or lands or even vaguely tracks with anything a stranger has ever known or experienced, presuming (probably rightly!) that it doesn't, and then flailing and blaming myself when I didn't emerge from the interaction with all the world's gold stars.

So here's what: stop talking to other people as a primary social occupation. Going up to people and just talking is fucking terrifying. The Bad Advisor says this as a Certified Extrovert™ who rarely shuts the fuck up.

Instead, find a thing to do with other people that involves some sort of task or goal or activity. Talk about the thing you're doing together, when you're doing it. If it feels okay, maybe introduce one or two of your own relatable-to-the-activity experiences in the process. See who picks up on it. Ask the people who pick up on it genuinely interested questions in response. This is what we awkward people call: engineering a conversation. It is the way, I am told, humans make connections with other humans. I have seen it work in my own life.

Depending on where you live and your ability level and skill set, I bet you have some options! You could seek out an open board game night, pub quiz session, knitting/quilting circle, or mutual aid meetup that's looking for volunteers. Especially look for social activities with strangers that involve a dedicated, pre-prescribed activity (such as a hiking or mall-walking group, stuffing envelopes for a political candidate or cause you care about, planting trees at your local park, or tasting tea/wine/beer/etc.). (Somebody is going to say join a ballroom dancing club or suchlike; I am personally terrified of this, but if you have a higher tolerance for strangers touching you and fewer than two left feet: it's literally an option. Line-dancing, on the other hand ... absofuckinglutely.)

Even if what's available in your area isn't your precise and specific interest, it might be worthwhile to check out something you are decidedly meh about -- you might not be the only meh person there. You can bond over shit that's boring or shitty with other people who find it boring or shitty! Some of my best friends, arguably my very best friends, came out of experiences we mutually loathed or found at least moderately and mutually miserable.

Consider especially finding an activity where you yourself are the manager of operations and/or have a designated task to take care of that is unique to your position! This doesn't have to be complicated or skill-dependent; can you become a voter registrar in your area? Well, bam! You've got paperwork people have to fill out and a good reason to jibber-jabber with folks who have to ask you the questions. Other ideas: join your local neighborhood association board, become a notary public, or see if your local pet rescue is looking for intake line volunteers. Do you have a trustworthy, especially outgoing friend who might agree to play "social glue" for you a couple of times at their activity-centric events? Make it explicit! Ask them if they'll play friendly wing-person for you at their D&D game, fantasy sports league, or some such.

Alternately: Do you have a unique and fun and shareable skillset you can share with others? Are you pretty good at drawing, programming? Simply a font of endless Merlin or NFL or Real Housewives knowledge? You might start a local Discord or other online social group to discuss and share your interests, then move it to the real world in a few weeks once folks get comfortable. You get the idea.

Most of all: Look for stuff that has more-than-just-talking opportunities available outside the designated group jam for you to maintain connections. Perhaps a group chat, a Discord, a Slack, what-have-you, where you can take more time to consider and draft your responses and posts? Connections with humans get made a thousand ways, and talking raw-dog with strangers is but one.

It takes a true social unicorn to be simply good at talking and only talking to other people. There are some of these one-horned wonders out there, to be sure — but let me assure you that the vast majority of folks want to be accepted and seen just as much as you do, and they're staring at the ceiling at night thinking just as much (more, probably) about all the weird, wonky shit they themselves threw at you than they are anything you ever said to them.

[magicalbunbun]

Here's a fan art for yn having a poly relationship with Adam , Lilith and Eve ...

She lookey kidda like Lilith but meh I tried my best

She secretly has a Pepe 😳😳

Adam: the original dick

Yn: the best di-

Thank you for the fan art! I looooooove it!

[no-phrogs-in-hats]

Addison Montgomery x fem! Reader

Could I please have an imagine where the reader is Meredith’s childhood best friend that came to work at Seattle Grace with her. While Meredith is pining for McDreamy her best friend wants McDreamy’s wife. (Imagine all of the hilarious and awkward moments this would result in).

Hi! I couldn't figure out how to turn this into a oneshot, so I just gave you a shit ton few scenarios!!

Sitting at lunch and getting the whole McDreamy situation out of Meredith and Cristina and Izzie spilling more to you than Meredith

Standing at the nurses station with MAGIC and Addison is on the other side of the station filling out a chart

She has her glasses on.

And her white coat.

And she's wearing black heels with a nice professional dress.

Mommy.

And you can't take your eyes off of her and you lean into Meredith and ask, "Who is that?"

She responds, "McDreamy's wife."

"So, is she into the whole adultery thing too?"

Cristina chimes in, "Considering that's why they seperated, I'd say so."

You can't stop thinking about McMommy Addison for weeks

Then, you're assigned to a case with her.

You get incredibly involved with your patients

Addison admires you so much for it.

"The world needs more doctors like you," she says after a crash C-section.

You ask, "And what do I have?"

"Empathy. You don't see very many doctors who want to get to know their patients. Most of them just see them as something they can cut into."

You're on her service almost every day for the next few months.

Asking Dr. Bailey, "Can't I have another assignment?"

Her responding, "Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd asked for you specifically, take it up with her."

But you didn't want to take it up with her.

At lunch, George brings it up and you say, "Meh, I don't really mind it."

But you start blushing.

And Cristina and Meredith start teasing you.

"Oh, she's got a crush on McDreamy's wife."

"George says, You can't have a crush on her, she's married."

"So is Derek and I still slept with him."

Cristina grins, "No wonder she has you on her service every day. You're her little bitch."

You insist that it's not true.

They continue teasing you until your pager goes off.

"Aw, is it Addison?"

"Give her a kiss for us!"

They continue making kissy faces the entire time you leave.

The first time you two kiss it's after you lost an OB patient.

Both of your emotions are running high.

You're trying to calm yourself down in an on-call room

She comes in and tries to comfort you

"It'll be okay."

"How are you so calm about this?"

"Well, eventually, you learn how to cope. You'll never get used to it, but you'll learn how to cope."

You lift your head off her shoulder and look at her in the eyes

Then your eyes flicker to her lips

And hers do the same

You finally give in and press your lips to hers

She returns the kiss and suddenly both of your scrubs are on the floor

Months of longing looks and pining and private moments in the elevator, you want to make your relationship official, but you know you can't

You're both in an on-call room once again making out

You pull away quickly and stop her

"Addison we shouldn't be doing this"

"What do you mean?"

"You...Addison, you're still married. And until you file for divorce, I can't see you."

She's speechless.

You, Addison, Derek, and Meredith all end up in an elevator together.

But weeks later, she presents divorce papers to Derek

And just a week after that, she shows you the signed papers

You don't know what to say.

"You actually did it? You filed for divorce?"

"I've made a lot of mistakes in my life...but you...you're not one of them."

This is the first time she says 'I love you'.

She gets a nice hotel room for you two that night.

Meredith asks why you aren't going home with them and then it dawns on her

You see that shit eating grin

Izzie and George and Cristina start cooing at you

"Awww, you're officially Addison's bitch."

"I am not Addison's bitch!"

"You so are!

"You'd do anything for her!"

"...Okay, fine, so I'm her bitch."

And it turned out to be a very lovely night.

[lovecla]

TAKE YOUR PAIN AWAY | quinn hughes.

chapter nine:

<last chapter> <next chapter>

➴ chapter warnings: mentions of toxic family, angst.

➴ word count: 3.8k

💌 from me to you: took my sweet time before publishing this because now my non hockey best friend follows me (i love u lily) here and i feel ashamed lmfao also ive been deep into ballroom hair tutorial videos on tiktok so im sorry for the delay. love u all though! (p.s. be patient with maddie yall)

౨ৎ

2024, MAY.

YOU STARED at the two piece set you chose for Jack’s birthday dinner and sighed, wondering if it was a good option or not.

After that wonderful weekend with Quinn at the cabin he had rented for you both, you decided to give it a shot and call Luke and Jack once, to know how they were doing; turns out Quinn was right, and they missed you just as much— or at least that's what they said when you explained that you were calling because you wanted to know how they were doing and that you missed them.

Luke talked with you for a good thirty minutes, while Jack exceeded himself and made it to the one hour mark. Even with the time difference, he managed to speak with you for a long time, and didn’t end the call until he was absolutely sure that you would come to his birthday dinner in Newark.

“You can come with Quinn, if you want. He’s coming too,” he said, and you wondered if you should tell him that you and Quinn now were some sort of friends with benefits.

Not that you didn’t want people to know. In fact, people probably already knew— or at least they suspected. It wasn’t like you and Quinn had been trying to be subtle, and your Instagram posts didn’t leave room for imagination. It was clear that you were with someone, and the chances of that someone being Quinn Hughes were very high.

All your life you tried to distance yourself from the Hughes brothers as much as you could. When you were younger, people asked if you knew them, and even though you didn’t understand why, you always told them no. After you grew up and made your own name, not mentioning Quinn, Luke or Jack felt like the right choice, so you just kept it that way.

And now, it was May 14th, and you were on your way to Jack’s house, with Quinn by your side. You had rented a hotel room for the weekend, even after Jack (and Luke) complained about how there was no need for that and how you could stay with them, you thought it was better this way. You didn’t want to intrude in their lives and sharing a hotel bedroom with Quinn wasn’t exactly the worst thing that could happen to you. And thankfully, Quinn didn’t complain about it either.

“Are you ready, baby?” Quinn stood by the bathroom door, looking at you through the mirror.

You picked your red lipstick up, opening it. “Just the last thing and then yeah.” You say before applying it, smearing the lipstick on your lips. “What do you think?” You ask, giving him a twirl.

“You’re unreal, Madison,” he eyes your body, up and down, before getting closer and kissing your forehead. “We might not leave this room tonight.”

You roll your eyes playfully.

“Come on, let’s go,” you say, taping him on his shoulder. “Did you grab Jacky’s gift? It was in my bag.”

“I did, yeah,” he says, leaving the bathroom after you. “Wanna tell me why you bought him a pop music album called ‘Make Me Yours’? A bit suggestive, don’t you think?”

You laugh, throwing your head back at Quinn’s furrowed brows.

“I was just listening to this album the other day and I don’t know why, but I thought he might like it.”

“Alright. I thought you wanted to be his.” He smirks, grabbing your purse for you and opening the bedroom door.

“Meh. He’s not the Hughes I’m interested in.” Quinn laughs, nodding with his head.

The drive to Jack’s place wasn’t long, fifteen minutes inside the car Quinn rented was all you needed to get to Jack’s house. You took advantage of the time inside the car to check on the photos the hotel Bella was staying in had sent you during your flight, smiling when you remembered how Quinn also got worried about her well being.

You were looking at Bella, trying your hardest not to let your eyes fill up with tears as she distanced herself from you to play with the other dogs there.

“Are you sure she’ll be okay?” You ask Ryan, the owner of the five star dog hotel you reserved for Bella so you and Quinn could travel together.

“Yes, Mrs. Carter, I can assure you that.” He smiles politely, holding his hands together.

“I need you to send me pictures of her hourly so I can see if she’s fine,” you demand, shaking your head. “If there’s anything wrong, call me. No matter what time it is, you will call me, do you understand?” You squinted, trying to look scary.

It probably worked, because soon you felt Quinn’s hand circling your waist, pulling you closer. You stared at him as he smiled at you. “I think Ryan understood everything perfectly, baby. Bella will be fine.”

“Yes, Mr. Hughes, Bella will be well taken care of.”

“Of course she is. Otherwise we’ll make sure this place is shut down.” Quinn says with the friendliest tone you ever heard coming out of his mouth, making you smile at him.

Ryan’s eyes twitched for a second before he managed to let out a scared laugh, excusing himself and leaving the two of you alone.

“Do you think we scared him enough?” Quinn asks as you both leave the fancy room.

You smirk. “I hope so. Otherwise this will be the only time I use my name for something.”

You and Quinn parked the car after a few minutes looking for a spot— the street was packed with cars, so you could only imagine what Jack’s house was going to look like— and you grabbed his gift before moving back to Quinn’s side and walking to Jack’s door.

Quinn rang the doorbell and a few minutes later, a very excited and happy Jack opened the door, holding a can of beer in his left hand.

“Huggy bear!” He hugged Quinn and pulled him inside the place. “Guys, Huggy Bear is here!”

You could hear the shouts coming from the living room and you smiled, watching as Quinn’s face turned into a cute shade of red and he looked at his brother like he wanted to murder him.

“Hey, Jacky, happy birthday. I love you,” Quinn mumbles, embarrassment coming out of his pores.

“Thank you,” he kisses Quinn on the cheek, clearly a bit tipsy and moves on to you. “You’re actually here.”

You smile. “I am. Happy birthday, Rowdy.”

He hugs you tight, holding your waist with both of his arms, his left hand feeling colder because of his beer. You kiss him on the cheek, making sure there were no lipstick marks left, and hand him his gift.

“This is for you.”

“Can we talk about how the actual gift here is you being here? With Quinn?” He smiles, closing the door behind you and Quinn. Your smile grows, feeling happy to see him this happy. “Thank you.”

“How many people did you invite?” Quinn asks beside you, sounding surprised.

“Just the fellas,” Jack shrugs. “And maybe some girls too.”

“There’s like thirty cars parked outside.” Quinn complains, and you squeeze his shoulder, involuntarily. Jack eyes your hand there for a second before rolling his eyes at Quinn.

“Stop being boring. Come on.”

Jack probably didn’t understand the concept of a small birthday dinner, which was what he said when he invited you to his birthday. You imagined that there would be ten people tops, but the twenty-three NJ Devils players were there, and their respective significant others as well. Not to mention the at least ten women and men who weren’t players nor girlfriends but were there as well.

While Quinn greeted some of the people he knew, you found Luke sitting on the couch, talking to a random girl.

“Mads? Jesus, you actually came.” he sounded as surprised as Jack did, and you raised your eyebrow, giving him a forehead kiss.

“Why are you so surprised? You know I wouldn’t miss the chance of taking pictures of Jack’s drunk face,” you joke, sitting on the couch beside him and smiling at the girl who was talking to Luke before. “Hi, I’m Madison.”

“I’m Jessica, nice to meet you,” she smiles, and you can tell she’s timid.

“Been a while since the last time I saw you. How’s life in Vancouver, M?” Luke asks, sipping on a beer he should not be drinking. You squint your eyes at him. “Don’t even start.”

You lift your hands in surrender. “I like living there.”

“I heard they have amazing lakes there,” the girl from before, Jessica, says, smiling and crossing her legs.

“Oh, yeah, they do.” you agree, smiling.

“You and Quinn visited one last week, didn’t you?” Luke asks, staring at you weirdly. You could tell he wanted to ask you something else, blue eyes full of questions, but he was content with the simple nod you gave him.

“I’m actually in the mood for a drink. Sorry for interrupting you both,” you say before getting up, watching as Luke smirked at you, probably happy because you didn’t cut his chances of getting laid that night, while Jessica shyly smiled at you, waving with her hand.

Finding Jack’s kitchen wasn’t hard, since the majority of the people were staked in the living room. You took the liberty of opening his fridge, smiling when you found your favorite beer brand inside it.

You grabbed a can, closing the door right after it. You opened it, taking a sip after.

“Oh, wow,” you hear a voice behind you, loud enough to be heard over the music playing in the background, making you turn, still with the can around your lips. A blond man stood by the kitchen door with his hands inside his pockets. “It’s not every day we see a lady like you drinking directly from the source.”

You chuckle, putting the can down. “That was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

The man smiles and shrugs.

“I probably have to work on my pick up lines a little bit more.”

“That was a pick up line?” you scoff. “I’m scared.”

“I’m Jesper Bratt,” he laughs, extending his hand, which you promptly grab. “Never seen you around Jack’s parties before.”

“Madison Carter,” you introduce yourself, letting go of his hand. “I’m an old friend of Jack’s. And I live in Vancouver, I’m just here to celebrate Jacky’s birthday.”

Bratt whistles. “Damn. And I thought that the twenty minute drive here was long. You flew a whole country for him.”

You smile and lift your shoulders, feeling shy suddenly.

“It’s no big deal, I’ve known him for years. Are you one of his teammates?”

“Yes, actually,” he rests his elbow on one of the counters, staring at you with fierce eyes. “So, Madison Carter. Tell me about yourself.”

“Is this a job interview?” you laugh, finishing the rest of your beer in one go.

“It might as well be,” he smirks, moving until he was in front of the fridge, opening so he could get another beer for you. You thanked him, before speaking again.

“And for what position am I applying for?” you ask, only realizing what your sentence implied after Bratt’s laugh.

“I hope it’s for missionary.” he cocks his head to the side, a flirty smile decorating his lips.

You rolled your eyes, sipping on your beer again.

Jesper wasn’t a bad looking man. And usually, you’d feel flattered that a man as handsome as he would be interested in you, but this was when you realized that you were fucked.

Because no matter how much Bratt flirted with you, or how seductive he sounded, it didn’t matter— he isn’t him.

You were sixteen years old when you realized that that infatuation you felt for Quinn in reality meant that you were in love with him. Maybe if you were anyone else, you would’ve realized sooner, since the signs were as clear as Algarve’s beach sea, but coming from someone who knew little to nothing about love, it took you way longer.

You came to the conclusion that it wasn’t normal for you to compare all of the boys your age to Quinn. It wasn’t normal for you to cry after your first kiss because you wanted Quinn to be the one who kissed you first. Same thing with your first time having sex or giving a guy a blowjob.

You were in love with Quinn Hughes, and probably had always been.

But then you grew up, moved to Los Angeles and tried your hardest to be normal and not feed your teenage delusions about marrying Quinn and carrying his children. You forced yourself to believe that what you felt for him wasn’t anything more than a crush. A teenage crush.

And it was easy to believe that, since you hadn’t seen him for years. It was easy to pretend you were happy with Richard, or with any of the guys who flirted with you.

But when you saw Quinn for the first time after all those years, looking as handsome as you knew him to be, you realized that your silly infatuation for him wasn’t just that. No. Twenty-two year old Madison Carter felt the same things sixteen year old Madison did.

And now, standing in the middle of Jack’s kitchen, you realized something worse: it wasn’t just a crush. It was a wardrobe full of feelings, it was a gray sky packed with heavy clouds. You were in love with him.

And people are right when they say that owning something is probably the most hurtful way of loving. Because you loved Quinn, you owned him right now— you know he isn’t seeing anyone else— and yet, he wasn’t yours to keep.

The months were passing by, and soon it’d be September again and you’d have to move back to Los Angeles, and leave him and what you wanted so bad to call yours behind.

“Earth to Madison.”

You smiled at Jesper, feeling bad for zoning out on him like this.

“Sorry, I’m still a little bit jet lagged,” you explain, leaving your still full can on top of the counter and excusing yourself. “I think I need to use the bathroom, sorry.”

“No worries. The night’s still young.” He smiles at you one last time before you leave the kitchen, looking for Jack’s back door, and leaving the house.

Thankfully, no one had had the same idea as you, so Jack’s backyard was empty and with no one around to watch you freak out over your realization.

Or at least that’s what you thought.

“I knew something was up with you, but now I need to know what.” Luke’s voice reached your ears, making you smile and turn your head around, looking at the man who was sitting on one of Jack’s couches,

You walked in his direction, sitting beside him, resting your chin on your knees. “Just tired.” You mumble, closing your eyes.

“Maybe Jack would fall for that but me?” He scoffs. “Hell no. Spill it.”

“Why are you talking like a seventeen year old girl?”

“Don’t try to change the subject, little lady. I’m waiting.”

“I’m still older than you, y’know.”

“And I’m taller, so I don’t care,” he coughs, poking your cheek with his freezing cold finger. “Come on, M. Is it Quinn?”

You lift your head fast, frowning “Why are you talking about him?”

“It’s obvious that something’s going on between the two of you and you just confirmed it,” he chuckles. “What happened?”

“I don’t even know where to start,” you sigh, putting your head against your knees again.

“I think that starting from the beginning is a great choice.”

“You think you’re so funny,” you roll your eyes, playful. “You’re not. And I don’t know if I want to talk about my relationship with your brother with you.”

“Look, it already feels weird because you’re literally a sister to me, so it feels like I’m watching something very unholy and sinful happening but I want to help you, so just get it out of the way.”

You stay quiet for a while, debating with yourself if you should talk with him or not.

“I’m in love with your brother,” you whisper, saying the truth out loud for the first time ever. “And I’ve been in love with him for a long time now.”

Luke doesn’t say anything, so you keep going.

“We’ve recently started to… well, explore each other in other ways.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ, I knew it’d be bad but fuck me sideways this is disgusting,” he groans, making you laugh.

“You were the one who asked me to talk to you!” you laugh at his disgusted face.

“Yeah, but I regret it now. Leave all of the romantic parts aside, please.”

You roll your eyes, but do as he says. “And the truth is I don’t know what to do. I’m only staying in Vancouver for four more months and I don’t want to start something with him knowing that I won’t be able to keep it.”

Not to mention that once Quinn got to see you for what you truly are, he’d want to run away from you as soon as possible, just like your family did, making you leave your house as soon as you turned eighteen.

“Why can’t you just tell him this?” Luke stares at you, licking his lips.

“Why are you even asking me this?” You raise your eyebrow. “Why would I tell him about loving him but not being able to be with him?”

Luke stays silent for a while, making you stop staring at him and stare at the sky above you— the moon shining bright and the stars decorating the space around her.

“D’you know what I think?” he finally says, and you hum, waiting for his answer. “I think that you’re scared.”

You frown. “Scared? Why would I be scared?”

“Because you know Quinn, and you know he would do absolutely everything to be with you. He would fly to Vancouver every week if he had to, just to stay in LA with you.”

“I can’t let him do that,” you whisper, feeling terrible just by the thought of it. “I would never ask him to do something like that.”

“I’m not saying you would, I’m just saying that he’s willing to do something like that for you, and it scares you. It scares you to think that he probably loves you enough to do something like that.”

“We don’t know if he actually l–loves me.” You stutter, the word making your mouth feel bitter.

Luke sighs, moving his body around until he is facing you.

“Maddie, look,” he starts, his tone barely recognizable with how serious he sounded. “We’ve never said anything because it wasn’t our place, and maybe it still isn’t, but—” he breathes deep, his eyes never leaving yours. “The way your family treats you isn’t normal.”

“Luke—”

“I know, hell, we know that love isn’t exactly something you have experience with in your life and it’s fine. But you need to learn to accept the love people are willing to give you.”

“I do accept it,” you bite back, defensive.

“When was the last time you said ‘I love you’ to anyone?” Luke asks, and you can feel all of the walls you worked so hard to build starting to crack. And it scared you to death.

You got up fast, startling Luke. “Don’t talk about shit you don’t know.”

He also gets up, reaching out for you, making you step back immediately. He pulls his hands back, frowning. “Madison.”

“No, you— you can’t just say shit like that, Luke.” You could feel your heart racing inside your chest, your head pounding with unwelcome thoughts, but now you’d already started and— “I know what love is.”

“I’m not saying you don’t, M, I’m just saying you don’t know how to accept it!” He yells and raises his arms, pretty face portraying a deep shade of red underneath the moonlight. “Jack, Mom, Dad, me and Quinn have loved you for years and you can’t even acknowledge it!”

You both turn your head around as you hear the back door opening, and Quinn’s worried voice reaching your ears. “Luke, Maddie. Is everything okay here?”

“Madison’s—” Luke starts talking, and you angrily press your index finger against his muscled chest.

“Don’t you fucking dare, Luke,” you whisper, watching as he looks down at you, his sad, blue eyes grabbing a piece of your heart and keeping it.

You knew you were all over the place and you knew Luke had the greatest of all intentions, but he was right. You were scared. You had never been so scared before, not even when you moved to a whole other country by yourself, with no one to rely on.

You knew you were hurting him, just like you knew you were going to hurt Quinn, and maybe even Jack. Because that’s what you did to people, you hurt them.

Luke steps back, then he’s walking towards the door where Quinn stood, getting inside without saying a word.

You took a deep breath, thankful for all of the times you wanted to cry at work but couldn’t because you were surrounded by people. Now you know how to push your tears back whenever you need to.

“Maddie?” You hear Quinn’s soft whisper beside you, only then realizing he had gotten closer, and was now holding you by your waist. “What happened, sweetheart?”

You, you think. You happened, Quinn. You and your brothers and your parents.

You try to smile, knowing it wouldn’t reach your eyes. “Luke and I were just talking, it’s fine.”

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost and Lukey looked like he had just lost a game by 10-0,” he stares at you, worried. “Tell me what happened.”

“Nothing happened, I swear,” you lie through your teeth, knowing he would see right through it. “Let’s go back to the party.”

“We’re not going back there with you like this,” he frowns. “Let’s go back to the hotel.”

You shake your head, already letting go of him. “No. We came all the way here to see Jack and that’s what we’re going to do.”

“But—”

You kiss his lips gently, briefly touching them.

“Please? I’m fine, I swear.”

He stares at you for a while, his eyes searching for an answer in yours, but whatever he found made him give up, briefly nodding before kissing your forehead and walking you back to Jack’s party.

And just like that, you had your confirmation.

Even though you’re one hundred percent sure that you were meant to be his, Quinn Hughes wasn’t meant to be yours.

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