#megamind simp

[idbangmegamind]

Every time Megamind comes on the screen so do I 😩😩

[megamindsecretlair]

Girl you saw Aaron kissing on that white woman?

I hate to say it but that British black man with sum blue eyes like em PALE. (Of course I am saying this purely in suspicion)

Yeah, I seent it. So? Lmfao. Sorry. Ik folks are pressed but I simply don't understand the need to find something bad about this man?

We have so very few (practically nonexistent) Black men that we can love on in public. He's smart, sweet, talented, precious, a goofball, a nerd, and introvert, and has been nothing but precious around Black women. He practically lights up around us.

Why is it so hard to believe that he's just....a good guy? Because we have proof that he liked ONE yt? Dont they all?

But what really gets me is that folks think he's not capable of liking a yt AND a Black woman 🤔 like he has to be on one camp or the other.

And this is purely MY opinion. I'm not shaming anyone for caring. I understand. Its so beyond exhausting to feel like we're not wanted by our own counterparts. That they continually play in our faces and we love them anyway.

But until I actually see that he move funny around us, I just wanna love on him. I love that hes goofy and silly. I love that he can't dance. I love that he can sing and rap (though British rap is asssss, sorry Aaron daddy 🥲). I love that hes an introvert. I love hearing him say "opportunity, for me personally, legacy, honored, brother, bruv" and whatever else fly outta that beautiful mouth of his.

I love that hes "lightskinned". I love that I get to see him in Lanterns next year, however I can have him. Because I know Gunn will piss me smooth awf 🙄 I love that hes 6'3. I love that he works out. I love that he has tattoos. I love his big ass hands and that ass 🙌🏽 (that ass really needs to be worshipped)

I love that he dresses extremely well and couldn't pose for shit earlier in his career 🤣) I love that hes into the superhero genre as a whole (especially when everyone acts like it needs to go. Don't like it, don't watch. But don't ruin it for others who do like it).

I love that he shares a close bond with his family. I love how he lights up when he's comfortable. I love when he's in his feelings 🙌🏽🤪🥵 I love when he posts subtle thirst traps.

I love the Kelvin tiktok of him throwing his head back and laughing. I love that he can laugh about himself. I love his funny little laugh.

I love when he wears long sleeves. I love when he wears short sleeves. I love when he's tanned. I love when the camera makes him look pale as hell. I love when he wears glasses. I love when he brings those chains out 👁👄👁 .

I love when he hugs himself. I love when he has funny expressions. I love his big ears. I love his traditionally African features. I love his accent. I love that nasty tongue. I love his teefs Mr A is for All 32.

I love that he was a punk ass kid daring people to race him. I love that he had pimples. I love that hes finally getting the recognition he deserves. I love that he is only going to soar because he has a pure soul.

I love that he feels like our second chance with Chadwick. I love that his smile makes me melt. I love that every peek into his brain just makes me love him more.

I love that hes so cute I want to wring his neck. I love that I want to swing from his neck like a mf monkey 🙌🏽🤪 I love those tank tops he be wearing. Ooooof I love the hoochie Daddy shorts.

I love that hes Big Daddy. I love he went viral over an adverb. I love that hes into martial arts. I love that his thighs are so big. I love that he can lift 425 and pull damn near double that.

I love that he knows how to bring that ass outside. I love when he wears those shades. I love his photos. I love his juicy ass pink lips. I love that big headed, sloped shoulder, chameleon 🤪

I love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him

And if he turns up with a yt wife? Yes, that will hurt. But I'll always have Terry who canonically loves a Black woman from infinity to infinity (he instinctively believed Jess was the inside mole helping because he saw her as an ally)

Signed, A Certified Simp Named Mega

[theemperorsnewfanblog]

is it just me or r they kinda similar😳

[a-very-tired-raven]

does your sister still simp for megamind

She finally answered my message and i quote "top ive been busy as hell, and I've been listening to fnaf music while i get stuff done and i see a text from my sis that says 'do you still simp for megamind??' And the answer is OF COURSE???"

[alpaca-clouds]

Something that will forever be a thing that drives me nuts, is people not understanding that yes, there are aspects about art that are subjective.

Look, no matter how good or bad a piece of art is, it does not mean it will connect to you. That is fine. As a picky eater, I always likened it too food. Were those eight-course meals that I got served in France objectively better than a fucking Pizza Hut pan pizza? Yes, they were. I will still choose the pan pizza every time, thank you very much.

And it is the same with media. One of my favorite movies of all time is Van Helsing. And I can tell you a lot of things the movie does good. I like the soundtrack a lot. I find the comedic timing in the movie amazing. And some of the actors are great. However, is the main reason I am watching this, that I am a simp for Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale? Yes. Yes, it is. And while the script is funny to me (like I really do enjoy the humor), it is certainly no master piece and if I was a youtuber, I could probably do a two hour video on stuff about the script I take issue with. Don't get me wrong. It is not a bad script by any means. Just... very mediocre. I am able to tell that. Just as I am able to call out the CGI that has aged a lot worse than the CGI in other movies. And some costume choices that were... less than ideal. I still love the movie.

Or maybe an even better example: I freaking love the movie Megamind. It is one of my Top 5 animated movies of all time. But the script was written by two guys who had never learned or studied screenwriting. And this shows. While the script had been edited a ton by people who knew more about screenwriting than them, it absolutely shows in some places, that it was written by folks, who just did not know how to best pace out scenes and stuff, how to work with show and tell, and how to think cinematically. But you know what? To me it does not matter, because I love Megamind and Minion as characters. Again, I am not saying it is a bad script because of it, just that... it could have used even more work than it got.

And this, too me, is part of the reason why I even in my childhood had a big issue with people who are like: "I love this piece of media and hence it is objectively the best thing that was ever created!"

I had this a lot in my first real fandom. Digimon. Because, yeah, it is perfectly fine that you connected more with Digimon Adventure or Digimon Adventure 02, but this does not mean that either of them were better written or better crafted than Digimon Tamers. Like there are very obvious problems in the writing of the first two seasons. Mind you, these days - after getting my answers on why this happened - I am way more chill about it. Like, I get that the people who wrote this were still trying to do the best with the options given to them. But partly because those options were limited, that "best" was just not the same "best" Konaka could do with Tamers, due to on one hand having more experience, and on the other hand just being a lot more stubborn about certain things.

Again, no, that does not mean you have to love Digimon Tamers. It also does not mean you have to dislike Digimon Adventure or Digimon Adventure 02. Like, heck, while I would argue there are more problems in Adventure, they are a lot more noticable in 02 - and I still like 02 more than Adventure, despite the animation being at times worse than some of those fan animatics on youtube. And yes, I mean animatics. Actually things that are not fully animated. Because 02 was suffering from timecrunch in the production a lot, so the animation really at times is a mess.

Why am I talking about this now?

Well, mainly because I am once more annoyed by this. By the fact that people do not acknowledge the fact that writing and art does have objective factors. And that there are rules to follow - or that if they get broken need to be broken for a good reason. Like, you absolutely can for artistic reasons subvert any writing or artistic rule. Totally fine. But only if it is done for artistic reasons and not, let's say, because of fucking time crunch.

And yes, this is still because of Arcane, and me being very, very sick of people claiming season 2 was well written. It was not. I am sorry, there are rules to writing and those rules were broken. Most notably rules of set-ups needing either a payoff or a clear subversion, and the good old screenwriting rule of "show, don't tell, you are a visual medium after all". (Please note at this point: Show don't tell was always for Screenwriting and visual media, it was never meant for pure prose writing, as in prose writing you will always just tell - given words are the only tool you have at your disposal. Yes, it usually works better if you write about characters in whose head your POV is not more in terms of reactions, rather than 'XY was angry', but other than that... there is only so much you can do as someone just using words.)

Like, it is perfectly fine if you totally connected to the story or specific characters. I mean, despite seeing the flaws with the writing - given they were really, really noticable - I would lie if I said I did not cry at some places. But yeah, if you were all there for Caitlyn, Vi, Viktor or Jayce, all power to you.

But the writing was not good. And from all we know the chances are very good that the reason the writing was such a mess was executive meddling of one sort or another. (Very probably the writers getting less time to tell their story than they had expected.)

And that exactly is why I am so fucking pissed at people being like "Oh, but the writing was great!" Because what you are saying with that is basically: "Creative interference and executive meddling is the most amazing thing. Creative people should not have their own freedom. Who also cares about people learning writing as a craft. Let's just let AI write this stuff, I don't fucking care."

And I actually do mean that last part. Because while I do not think that AI had written anything for that season, the time crunch made it so that there were certain things showing up, I have seen a lot in AI writing. Mainly the tell over show, and the set-up without payoff. Because AI is obviously not good with setting up and paying things off, because the AI does not plan a story. It just gives you a line of words in a row, that it has predicted have a high probability to go with a prompt it was given. And those usually do not have a payoff to set-ups.

Also, yes, I am very much the person, who will always give the creative behind any project a lot more benefit of the doubt, than any executives. There are times where it turns out that this is not warranted, and it turns out that indeed, something was weirdly written, because like some guy, who might or might not have been called Joss Whedon, wanted to write something that was titulating for himself. But still, in many cases where a piece of media turned out to have obvious issues, and someone broke their NDA, it often is the case that some executive was to blame for the mess that existed. Be it, because they wanted to pander to a specific audience. Be it, because they wanted to force in certain advertisements. Be it, because they decided that the creatives would just not have the time to do the creative stuff - or not enough time within the piece of media (runtime) to tell the story they wanted to tell. Be it, because some producer decided that his nephew Larry needed to have a role in the show, and because now this role was played by Larry, who was after all his nephew, this role needed to be way bigger than it was originally intended to be.

No, I do not know what happened behind the scenes of Arcane season 2. I can make some educated guesses, but I do not know it. But I know at least in part what happened behind the scenes of Digimon Adventure and 02, and exactly that makes me kinda pissed of people excusing stuff that was fully and completely there because of executive meddling.

Because yeah, most people who write for TV and movies have in fact somehow learned screenwriting. Not all at uni, some are self-taught. That is totally fine. But they have learned writing. The producers meanwhile have not. And it shows.

[elmatashaw]

Introduction post

Gawd I should be doing supa strikas headcanons now that I’ve got motivation to post but I just remembered I don’t even have an introduction post!!!

About me

I have a piss and degradation kink

She/her or elmatador/elmatadorself for the close ones

Lactose intolerant, that doesn’t stop me from consuming milk tho

I speak Spanish and English, I’m learning German too

Feet fetish

I’m into everything but biological men

You can say I’m kind of a lesbian but not the Chappell roan kind more like the rebel girl by bikini kill kind

Actually DNI if you like Chappell roan since she has ruined lesbianism for me

Spanish

My names Mata, NOT VALENTINA!!!!!!

On recovery

Interests

I really like the movie Jennifer’s body because the idea of a lesbian being controlled by a demon into eating men is just peak

I love kathleen hanna and bands she’s been in, such as Bikini Kill and Le Tigre, my favourite songs being “my my metrocard” and “Alien She”

I’m not really into video games, I mostly like horror, scp and Roblox sometimes too

I love lolcows but I’d say my favourite one is tophiachu because she’s literally the creator of the term femcel

My favourite characters are el matador, north shaw and klaus. They’re my holy trinity

I’m also into madness combat, piggy, scp, nocturnals, breaking bad, megamind and horror videogames

I listen to punk rock and pop music

DNI list

Chappell roan fans again

People that have self inserts

That game where there are two siblings that commit incest fans

Dalas review fans

Ricky edit fans

Ariana grande fans

Any person that simps for any character that isn’t el matador

El matador haters

People that say they’re el matadors biggest fan

People who don’t like matashaw?

People who like matashaw?

COD players

Fortnite players

People that like the movie clueless

Jenna Ortega fans

OBESE shador fans

Self proclaimed goths and punks that shop on shein, temu…! If you’re one of these people you actually disgust me and I, personally, think you don’t even deserve to breathe

That’s all thanks for reading 💓

[daydream-the-demon]

my dream is to create an oc people will simp for 😔

Take courses of Tumblr Sexymanning:

Make the OC not human. Make it a powerful deity, being, supernatural. (Ex. Sans, skeleton; Bill Cipher, dream demon triangle; Alastor, half-deer demon; Jax, a bunny.)

Make the OC evil/morally inept. Usually being forwardly evil or bad is the best. (Ex. Oncler, cutting down trees; Bill Cipher, trying to destroy the universe; Alastor, murderer cannibal; Jax, an asshole; Slenderman, kidnaps people, William Afton, murder.)

Make the OC funny and likable. (Ex. Bill Cipher, outrageous humor; Jax, does pranks; Alastor, does things for amusement; Sans, does puns.)

Make the OC outrageous. Make them be crazy, have outlandish opinions, and say/do things that are usually not socially acceptable. (Ex. Bill Cipher, insane; Alastor, murderous; Jax, an asshole.)

Make the OC fancy and/or formal. Clothes including suits is most suitable! (Ex. King Dice, suit; Alastor, suit; Bill Cipher, tophat and bowtie; Milkman, milkman outfit.)

Make the OC powerful. Make them have powers of a deity, supernatural powers, or something abnormally good. (Ex. Bill Cipher, can do anything at the snap of his fingers; Alastor, powerful overlord able to take down others with ease; Megamind, extremely smart.)

The character should be both good in personality and design!

Looking at random characters of the sexypedia.fandom.com can help with these. Almost all character have one or more of these traits.

@author-of-the-year prompt: existentialism and peacock feather.

Welcome the new [tumblr] Sexyman! Ermes Denver! (You can freely take her design!)

Please I created this design and I do kind of simp-

[polycephalies]

so i need you guys to hear me out on someone.

wiki calls him brown coated cameraman. simp cameraman. few people and i call him purplow. ill be calling him purplow for the duration of this.

i am not a believer of the theory that he’s going to go through a villain arc just because he got abandoned/rejected by tvwoman. he’s not hal from megamind.

the question then becomes What is gonna happen to him instead. and if any of you folks are in the alliance discord you already know where this is going

way back when ep 57 came out and we were all rattling amongst ourselves about titanspeak being freed i was browsing the main twitter tag and found this short comic

at first i just brushed it off as a funny thing but then the Rot kicked in

the whole idea of this pathetic wet dog of a man having what is essentially a bisexual awakening as a result of being saved by a different guy than he expected now lives in my head Rent Free

i've also found two more art pieces on twitter so far

the only thing we're missing is a name for the ship. tvlow? purptv? i'm gonna tag it "purplow x tvman" on my blog for right now...

[dual-plunger-enthusiast]

Ooooh Microphoneman is a cool idea! Dunno how they'd work, but it's cool!

Also, fun fact I noticed, there never seen to be more than 5 TVman. 2 normal, 1 large, TVwoman and Cinemaman!

Honestly, I'd pay to see mecha scientist, dual plunger and camerawoman as a team for a episode, or just mecha scientist again!!

Also! What do you think they will do with the glitch toilet, since they only paralysed it? Maybe try to use that technology to upgrade Dual Plunger? Or the Cinemaman!

Can you imagine? Titan camera, titan speaker and Cinemaman going to G-Man all at once? No way he escapes!

Now, fun thing, do you believe the theory that there is a cameraman traitor among them??

Also! Do you think we will see more of the skibidi scientist? I just,, love scientist characters, okay?? And he problaby is behind all the upgrades and counter attacks!

And finally, any theories about the skibidi UFO, or theories in general??

Yeah idk either lol. I know some folks who have made micmen of their own though

THE ONE THING I NOTICED PERSONALLY IS, whenever we meet a new TV, there's always only Two normal TVmen accompanying them (this excludes Titan TV). Two when we meet Polyceph, two when Polyceph's light was no use, and two again when we meet TVgirl. With Titan TV, we've only seen him accompanied by One TVman on his debut and then he's on his own after that.

I like to think they'll use the Glitch Toilet's powers, yeah! I think it'd be cool to watch a CCTVman fuckin ny00m across the screen at insane speeds. It'd be funnier if it was a Speakerman due to how energetic they are!

PHAXX!!! TRIPLE TROUBLE GANG

I have no specific theories, but one thing for sure is, I genuinely HATE the theory that purplow (simp) is going to be the traitor. I'm sorry but if you become a bad guy solely because some girl rejected you, that's just sad. Also we don't need a Hal from Megamind 2

YES I especially wanna see more of Cyborg Scientist. I like to think he and Dual are close buddies, esp since they worked together in episode 48!

Any theories I make get instantly decimated by the next episode, so I gave up on making theories of my own

[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

top five destiel aus?

this is INTERESTING. I'll answer based on my most recent reading preferences?

1. roommates au - decimates me every time

2. college au. im such a simp for academically stressed and coffee addicted deancas. at the same time, i sooo love seeing them in that setup - woke and cusswords and huge friend groups and that good ole dash of relatability, sorry not sorry

3. single parent! au - need i explain?? it's just so good. so good. so wholesome. so fluffy. soooooo light-up-my-life-y.

4. other modern aus - I'm a simp for destiel in contemporary settings. like, football player au, or coffee shop au, or neighbors auuuu

5. idk if this counts but i ADORE the stories where its just destiel in some classic romcom setup with a twist? I've read one for Megamind, one for The Proposal, one for breakfast at tiffany's and they're all PURE GOLD. idk whether to call this a cinemaverse au or like? meetcute?

special mention, because idk if it's an au: canon divergent(?) destiel w baby jack, co-parent sam, living in the bunker!!!!!!!!!

[idbangmegamind]

All I'm saying is until that sequel comes out Megapapi won't be the only one with blue balls

[megamindsecretlair]

Aaron Pierre is the definition of a Soft Black Man 😍☺️ love me some himmmm.

Woke up to his Mufasa song and honestly, the best way to wake up fr.

[just-some-random-blogger]

JSJSSJJSJSJJS WHAT THE FUCK I WAS SO INTO IT AND IT JUST ENDS ARE YOU KIDDING ME (IM A SPOILED BRAT SORRY) WTF CRISTI I WAS SO SURE I WAS GONNA KEEP HATIN CREGAN AND YOU COULDNT CHANGE MY MIND BUT YOU DID MY PETTY ASS HAS BEEN CONVERTED

First of all, sorry for requoting so much aksjjsjsns I can't help it I have thoughts

IT IS FUNNY, how wrong can Cregan be about people. He is no longer afraid to admit it. He had been mistaken about you. 

COS HES SELF AWARE I WAS SO ANGRY WHEN I READ THIS AT FIRST BUT I FEAR NOW THAT IVE READ EVERYTHING I FEAR I FEAR I FEAR IM A SIMP

[...] it was because you were insecure. The mere idea was laughable, why would a Princess of the Realm be insecure?

MISS MAAM GOT CLOCKED SO BAD 😰😰😰😰 IM WITHERING AWAY

Each time Cregan had cracked a joke that compared you to Arra, [...] you had taken it as a personal criticism.

NO COS FRONTAL LOBE DEVELOPED EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT KING???? wtF IS THIS BULLSHIT

You were kind, smart, and capable. Just not in the way Cregan was used to women being capable.

🗣️HES🗣️SO🗣️SELF🗣️AWARE🗣️I🗣️HATE🗣️IT🗣️

You, instead, shared Prince Jacaerys’ strength. You were honorable, unable to leave a child in need, and kind, enough that you would comfort them until their parents reached them. But most of all, you had a brain suited for politics. 

I think this was the exact part I was like well fuck I guess I like him 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕 THANKS A LOT CRISTI MY HATER AGENDA IN THE FUCKING BINNNNN UHGGGHHHHHHHHHH IMAGINE LIKING A MAN THATS SO EMBARRASSING

The Old Gods knew you were an introverted creature, painfully awkward at niceties, much like he was.

HSJSJSJSJSJSJ 💀💀💀💀🤚🤚🤚🤚🤚 HE JUST KEEPS READING HER TO FILTH ITS EMBARRASSING FUCK YOU HOW WOULD YOU KNOW SHES INTROVERTED YOU BARELY SPEAK NO JUSY BECAUSE YOURE AWARE AND OBSERVANT DOESNT MEAN ANYTHING YOU KNOW WHAT I TAKE IT BACK I HATE YOU 🖕

Oh, if Cregan got you on his side, the two of you would be a force to be reckoned with.

I lied I want to have your babies

🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵SIMP WE HAVE A SIMP ON OUR HANDS

You were a wonderful woman. Kind and tender to his son, smart as a whip, utterly terrifying when crossed. You would make a fine wife to any lord, and Cregan couldn’t believe how stupid he had been not to see it. You just needed to be encouraged, and Cregan, dumb as a rock, had been doing the exact opposite. 

Fuck 😭😭😭😭😭 the emotional intimacy the self awareness the ability to say you were wrong. Fuckkkkkkkk the maturity. I'm

While you hadn’t exactly been trying, Cregan was man enough to admit that part of the blame laid on him.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I WANT HIM IM SHAKING

That ended today. He would prove himself worthy of your love and loyalty, and win you over. Cregan wasn’t a man of half measures. He would woo you or spend the rest of his life trying. 

👏CON👏GRA👏TU👏👏FUCK👏ING👏LA👏TIONS👏YN👏YOU👏WON👏I👏HOPE👏YOU👏TREAT👏HIM👏RIGHT👏FUCK👏OFF👏HOW👏DOES👏IT👏FEEL👏TO👏LIVE👏MY👏LIFE👏

“No need for that, wife. My ego is not so fragile I need my woman to bow to me.” 

Suddenly I'm on my knees

“You may call me Cregan, if you wish. [...] 

Can I call u mine

“You would be surprised.”

😬😬😬😬😬 yikes

He is not above using Rickon to have an excuse to spend time with you.

Ndjsjsnsnjsjsjnse and you know what I respect that. Megamind shit

“Neither do I.” And this time, there is the barest beginning of a playful smile on your lips. Oh, you minx! Cregan smiles to himself, charmed. It emboldens him to continue. 

nJsjsjjsjjsjjsjsj GIGIL IM SO RKEJEJJDJJS JEJEJDJDJDJJS THERE IS NOT AN ENGLISH WORD TO DESCRIBE MY FEELINGS I WANT TO SHAKE THEM

“Singing him was part of it? By the Gods, I thought I had a wife and not a minstrel?” And the dry, northern humor doesn’t seem to suit you because you frown slightly.

“I only meant to say you went beyond your duties, and I thank you for it. You didn’t have to, but it meant the world to him.” Cregan tries again, and you blink at him, as if he were unable to understand anything at all. 

Nice save

It has proven to be quite the difficult task. Northerns are often suspicious of outsiders, and from what you have learned through these gossip sessions, they rarely marry southrons.

Xoxo gossip girl

As you enter, you notice Rickon is arriving as well, tugged along by a maid. He chirps a greeting to you, a mix of your name and title that sounds more like gibberish. Yet, you are helpless to him.

LOVEEEEEEE RICKONNNNN GIBBERISH MY BELOVED

He smells of sweet innocence, and a bit like Cregan.

Who's gonna tell her

As you do so, you cannot help but notice how much space he takes up, tall and wide.

This just in: local girl realizes her husband is, in fact, hot. Pfffft girl get up 🙄🤚

“You are far too thin still. [...]

HES TRYING TO GET ME FAT TO EAT ME

[...] Besides, I know your tea spreads are made of mostly northern sweets. I asked the cooks to make one of your favorites, Prince Jacaerys was kind enough to set up correspondence for me with the cooks of Dragonstone.” 

I'm done pretending I don't want to be devoured by this man COS HE WHAT

“I am. He would be very pleased if you stopped burning his letters.” His tone is chiding, though gentle. You take a deep breath in. Jace, the traitor. Cregan keeps his tone kind. “He still grieves your brother, Princess. Do not make him mourn a sister in life.” 

DONT YOU DARE COME AROUND HERE BEING EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT FOR THE BOTH OF US

You were falling in love with Cregan. 

Cregan seems to catch on your meaning because he reaches forward and takes your hand in his. Fixated on how big and warm his hand feels against yours, you almost miss his soft words. 

STOPPPPPP WHAT DO YOU MEANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WHAT IN THE BLUETOOTH HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW WHAT SHE WAS THINKING 🫵 WITCH

“Not only have you turned timid, you are also a moron. And cunt struck. Well, are you? I know you are not getting any, does one need to actually be bedding the woman to be cunt…” She doesn’t even finish her words, cackling with laughter.

“I should have married you to an Umber and be done with it.”

PFFFT THATS SO FUNNY OF HIM HES A REAL CLOWN COS HES NEVER DO IT HAHAHAH I LOVE HIM they're so siblings™

“There is a certain innocence to these Velaryons, yes.”

🙄🤚 man get up

“I think she isn’t willing to murder you any longer.” And it is as good of an endorsement he will get from Sara. 

I LOVEEE THEMMMMM SIBLING CODED AHHH

“You should tell him so.” Her rivalry with him had never made any sense to him, they had known each other since childhood, too. The man didn’t even care about who her mother had been and never took insult with her… Well, insults. Plural. Always thrown at him by Sara. Now that he thought of it, his friend always sought excuses to see Sara. Odd. “Loudly. But I am feeling generous and not demand that you do so immediately. I shall gloat in my victory, and it will be even sweeter if he doesn’t know.” 

He even dares ask Rickon. His suggestion of a direwolf isn’t exactly bad. It’s just difficult on its execution, and not something Cregan would choose when thinking of a gift for you. 

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 RICKON MY SWEEET. NGL MY PETTY ASS WOULD BE LIKE OH YOURE GIVING ME A DIREWOLF COS I CANT HAVE A DRAGON 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕 DIE

CRISTI IM UPSET IT TOOK SO LITTLE INTERNAL DIALOGUE FOR ME TO BE SWAYED BY CREGAN 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢 HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 👎👎👎👎👎👎 WHAT ABOUT FEMINISM WHAT ABOUT FRIENDSHIP YOU ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED ME AND FOR WHATTTTTTTT

I love rickon. I imagine he smells like milk and babie and I would just have to eat him up I LOVE HIM I CANT IM GOING TO CRY CREGAN MAKE BABIES WITH ME CHALLENGE FAILED 👎👎👎👎👎👎 YET ANOTHER REASON TO HATE HIM

Spring (Cregan Stark x Reader)

Summary: As a Princess, you aren’t used to rejection. But Cregan, your husband, has vowed to only ever love one woman, and it isn't you. Right?

Warnings: Slightly less unreliable narrator (Cregan has come to his senses, reader is on the way) Mature language.

A/N: I really thought these two would get their mess sorted out in nine scenes, but I was far too optimistic. Lucky me, I had one season as backup! Also, thank you so, so much for continuing to read this series and your kind comments!

IT IS FUNNY, how wrong can Cregan be about people. He is no longer afraid to admit it. He had been mistaken about you. 

The utter viciousness you had displayed, bringing up his dead wife, had only been a source of anger for him at first. He had thought you an evil little bitch, unafraid of exploiting weak spots to hurt him. 

Then, he had seen you with Rickon. And his world had just… Shifted. As if every piece of furniture in Winterfell had been moved exactly one inch to the left, and no one had told him, leaving him stumbling around in his own home.

You weren’t evil or jealous. Or, more likely, you were, but not because of some petty reason, it was because you were insecure. The mere idea was laughable, why would a Princess of the Realm be insecure? But it made too much sense for him to ignore. 

Each time Cregan had cracked a joke that compared you to Arra, like commenting on the number of packages and dresses you had brought from the South, you had taken it as a personal criticism. You felt unappreciated, so you lashed out and avoided him at every turn. 

You were kind, smart, and capable. Just not in the way Cregan was used to women being capable. The northern women were considered capable because they were physically strong, able to wield bows, ride hard and long or withstand the terrible weather. 

You, instead, shared Prince Jacaerys’ strength. You were honorable, unable to leave a child in need, and kind, enough that you would comfort them until their parents reached them. But most of all, you had a brain suited for politics. 

Cregan had never noticed before because he had never bothered to truly look at what you were doing, but your charities were to make your mother’s cause more popular with the smallfolk. He had heard your mother was doing a similar thing in the capital, delivering food to the starved population due to a blockade of the own Blacks’ making. Not that the commoners cared about the last part. They only cared about those who put food on their bellies. 

And perhaps the Queen dowager and Princess Helaena were popular in the South because of their involvement in the Septs, but you were exploiting the lack of those here. Without Septs, there were no Septas or Septons tending to the sick and poor. You were. And the North would remember, when it came time to march for your mother’s banners. 

Cregan would bet Ice that you were having tea with the northern ladies not to gain friends. The Old Gods knew you were an introverted creature, painfully awkward at niceties, much like he was. It explained why the two of you were so uncomfortable with each other. You were probably entertaining the northerns to win their loyalties, knowing the combined pressure of Cregan’s oath and their wives would make his lords more eager to drop coin and men for your war. 

Oh, if Cregan got you on his side, the two of you would be a force to be reckoned with. He could already see how much security you could bring to the North, how well fed you could be during winter, if you decided to work with him and not behind him. 

You were a wonderful woman. Kind and tender to his son, smart as a whip, utterly terrifying when crossed. You would make a fine wife to any lord, and Cregan couldn’t believe how stupid he had been not to see it. You just needed to be encouraged, and Cregan, dumb as a rock, had been doing the exact opposite. 

While you hadn’t exactly been trying, Cregan was man enough to admit that part of the blame laid on him. He had been pushing you away without even realizing it, comparing you to Arra at every turn, without considering how that might come across to you. 

That ended today. He would prove himself worthy of your love and loyalty, and win you over. Cregan wasn’t a man of half measures. He would woo you or spend the rest of his life trying. 

Set in his decision, Cregan walked to your chambers. He waved off the guard’s attempt to announce him, casually strolling in. 

You were seated next to the fire, the leather-bound book you usually carried around spread over your lap. It was a heavy tome, bound in brown leather with golden engravings. It was written in High Valyrian, a language for which Cregan had little use, so he had never learned it beyond recognizing the alphabet. 

There was a striking beauty to your expression when you were at ease, the peaceful expression you wore becoming you much more than the usual frown you directed at him. Cregan found himself wondering how beautiful you must look smiling, if you looked this radiant when at peace. 

You had the sort of face to be lit up with happiness, he could already tell. His heart ached to be the one that finally coaxed it out of you.

“Princess,” Cregan calls, softly. You set your book aside, ready to get up and curtsy, but he halts you. “No need for that, wife. My ego is not so fragile I need my woman to bow to me.” 

“Lord Husband.” You reply, for once not frowning. Your face remains carefully neutral, which Cregan considers a victory. He would attribute it to his remark about his ego, but it is more likely due to guilt. He will take it regardless. 

“No need for that either, much less today.” Cregan smiles at you. “You may call me Cregan, if you wish. I am here to thank you for caring for my Rickon while I was away.” 

You look far more confused than you did before. You look like you want to approach him and run at the same time, your wool gown fluttering as you squirm in place, undecided if you are approaching or not. 

“I simply did my duty, my lord.”

Cregan’s smile widens, amused by you. 

“Singing him was part of it? By the Gods, I thought I had a wife and not a minstrel?” And the dry, northern humor doesn’t seem to suit you because you frown slightly. Cregan fights the urge to curse, instead making a mental note. You dislike being mocked, even in jest. He wonders what sharp words you had to endure in the South to be like this, and feels a wave of pity. Dark of hair and no dragon to shield you? Perhaps that was why you were far kinder to Sara than to him. He gives a tasteful cough. Or at least, his attempt at it. 

“I only meant to say you went beyond your duties, and I thank you for it. You didn’t have to, but it meant the world to him.” Cregan tries again, and you blink at him, as if he were unable to understand anything at all. 

“He is a child.” You say, slowly.  “No person would leave a child in need.” 

“You would be surprised.” Cregan thinks of how his own mother had treated Sara when she had arrived at Winterfell, treatment that hadn’t improved when his aunt took on as the Lady of the household. His sister had only known freedom after Cregan had taken over his seat, and she was still judged by the rest of the North, even though in a much subtle manner. 

“Mmm.” Your reply is noncommittal. 

“He has been asking me lately why he doesn't have a lady mother.” Cregan attempts again. He is not above using Rickon to have an excuse to spend time with you. And to his amusement, it does work. You pity his son more than him, it seems because you begin to pay him more attention.  

“What did you tell him?” You tilt your head to the side, curious. It’s a surprisingly cute gesture for the unshakable princess that you are. 

“I do not know. I have not answered him.” Cregan searches for somewhere to sit, but apart from the loveseat in which you are soaking up the warmth of the fireplace, there is none. He grabs the stool by your writing area, and brings it over. 

He sits on the stool across from you, wiggling a bit with how uncomfortable it is. It feels like his knees are on his chest, by the Gods. It’s clearly meant for a shorter person. Your rooms are not made for receiving visitors, he should have thought of that earlier. You need a space to receive people that isn’t the sitting room. What if you wish to have more private conversations?

“Surely he knows she is dead?” You are too caught up in your disbelief to protest that he is rearranging your furniture. Good. 

“He does, but doesn’t quite grasp what dead means.”  Cregan is being honest. Whoever has the heart to explain to a child of two namedays what death is, is a braver man than him. 

“Perhaps you could say she is in the Seven Heavens?” Your frown comes back, but this time it isn’t angry. Instead, it’s puzzled. You are trying to help him, and it makes him fight the urge to smile. He doesn’t want you to think that he is mocking your suggestion. 

“We do not believe that here.” 

“Neither do I.” And this time, there is the barest beginning of a playful smile on your lips. Oh, you minx! Cregan smiles to himself, charmed. It emboldens him to continue. 

“Just, I would like it if you saw him more often. With me. Perhaps… He has asked about you, and I am not asking you to replace her but I… He sometimes needs a more feminine touch.” 

“Of course.” You agree. And he can see in your eyes you think he might be trying to use you as a stand in for Arra, not truly believing his words, but that is alright. Cregan will show you. Or at least, he is going to do his very best attempt. 

YOU MAKE SURE there are enough pastries and hot water available before you stand up.

“I am afraid I must leave you, my ladies. But you are welcome to continue enjoying the hospitality of Winterfell.” The sitting room is filled with northern women. You have begun inviting them for tea twice a moon, trying to ensure your mother will have all the support she needs when she takes King’s Landing. 

It has proven to be quite the difficult task. Northerns are often suspicious of outsiders, and from what you have learned through these gossip sessions, they rarely marry southrons. The only ones who do are the most important Houses, like the Starks or the Boltons. It means that most of your ladies are northern by birth, and not through marriage as you are. 

“This early?” Lady Mormont asks, bluntly. Her bluntness had discomfited you during your first meetings, but you have come to find it refreshing. “Princess?” She tacks on, remembering she is supposed to mind her courtesies with you. 

“This early.” You confirm, with a smile. You have planned the time of this tea with precision for this same motive, knowing it will appeal to their loyalty, but also allow you to escape the socializing. “I have a play date with my Lord Husband and little Rickon.” 

One of the ladies coos. Lady Mormont barks out a laughter. 

“Ah, to be a young woman with that many suitors.” 

“Only the very best.” You smile, and leave them to feast on the pastries. 

You make your way to Cregan’s solar at a leisure pace. The crushed velvet gown you are wearing is in a blue so pale it almost looks like the gray of House Stark. It is one of your old ones, meant to evoke House Velaryon’s colors. It fits you again, having gained a bit of weight during your time in the North. You hope it is a gown suitable for playing with a toddler. 

As you enter, you notice Rickon is arriving as well, tugged along by a maid. He chirps a greeting to you, a mix of your name and title that sounds more like gibberish. Yet, you are helpless to him.

“Rickon!” You kneel by him, as he runs to be picked up. You indulge him, smelling his hair as you lift him. He smells of sweet innocence, and a bit like Cregan. You hate that you cannot hate him or be indifferent any longer. The little boy has stolen your heart. 

Rickon gives you a toothy smile, his hands clumsily going to cup your face. Who can resist him? Not you. 

“I see you found each other.” Cregan leans against the door, smirking. He holds two cups. “Warm milk with honey. For the cold.”

You cannot help but smile a little. 

“Our knight in shining armor!” You tease, more for Rickon’s benefit than him. “Let us in, good Ser. So I can place my little wildling down and he can drink it.” 

Cregan laughs and moves aside to let the two of you pass. As you do so, you cannot help but notice how much space he takes up, tall and wide. Your eyes linger on his shoulders. You have not seen him wield Ice yet, but you have seen the sword. He has to have considerable strength to do so. 

The thought is strangely thrilling. Your stomach does a somersault, but before you have time to analyze it, Rickon begins to squirm in your arms. 

“Down! Down! Doggie!” He pleads. You look to see what has caught his attention and notice that Cregan has moved the rug so it lays by the fireplace, and placed some of Rickon’s toys there, including his more favored one: A soft cotton white wolf. 

You set Rickon down and take one of the cups from Cregan. Both of you sit down on the rug as well, and watch Rickon play with his wolf, ignoring his cup of milk. You have come to learn that playing with an only child is much different than playing with your younger siblings, Rickon mostly plays alone and wants you there to show you things. 

It forces you to keep conversations with your husband, if only because the silence would be too awkward otherwise. 

“I have arranged for us to have tea when Rickon tires.” Cregan informs you, a bit stiff.

“Oh, I already had tea with the…” You start, before Cregan interrupts you. 

“You are far too thin still. Besides, I know your tea spreads are made of mostly northern sweets. I asked the cooks to make one of your favorites, Prince Jacaerys was kind enough to set up correspondence for me with the cooks of Dragonstone.” 

It’s awfully thoughtful of him, and you will examine it later because your mind is still stuck on one tiny detail. One that infuriates you. 

“You are corresponding with Jace?” You ask, trying hard not to sound violent. After all, he has been very kind to you as of late, and guilt has begun to creep in for your careless words about his late wife. Not that you will apologize or anything. You intend to pretend nothing happened and be extra nice to Cregan, indulging Rickon and him on all the tea and play dates in the world. 

“I am. He would be very pleased if you stopped burning his letters.” His tone is chiding, though gentle. You take a deep breath in. Jace, the traitor. Cregan keeps his tone kind. “He still grieves your brother, Princess. Do not make him mourn a sister in life.” 

“Does he think I shall never forgive him?” You ask him, baffled. Rickon begins building a tower with blocks on the rug, insisting that the two of you aid him in building Winterfell, so Cregan’s answer is delayed. As you place some blocks to make the entrance, you have time to think over his words. 

All alone in Dragonstone, Jace must be feeling as lonely as you are. Only more because he has no Cregan and Rickon to stand with him. 

What he had done was a deep betrayal in your eyes, but was it truly? You had known you would have to marry eventually, and it probably wouldn’t be a love match. Jace had done the best he could in the terrible circumstances you were in. Moved by his fear of losing another sibling, he had entrusted you to Cregan because he thought you could be happy here. Safe. 

And you were. There was no fiercest protector for you apart from your husband. After marrying him, no one had dared even to breathe the rumors of your bastardy, and he even worried about what you ate, by the Gods’ sake!

“You can hold a grudge.” Cregan says, cautiously, when Rickon is distracted by his cup of milk and begins to attempt drinking it. Usually, drinking his milk is followed by passing out, so he is careful to support him in his lap. The sight makes your chest feel oddly warm. 

Oh. 

Oh. 

This was bad. 

You were falling in love with Cregan. 

“Perhaps I don’t want to any longer.” You say, looking into his eyes. You are no longer speaking of Jace. 

Cregan seems to catch on your meaning because he reaches forward and takes your hand in his. Fixated on how big and warm his hand feels against yours, you almost miss his soft words. 

“Neither do I.”

SARA’S EYES, GREY and so much like his father’s, are fixed on him. Cregan tries to ignore her, unwilling to give her the satisfaction of appearing uncomfortable. But before the hour passes, he is squirming in his chair, unnerved by her silent stare. 

Sara continues to stare. Cregan refuses to speak to her. After a while, she sets down the book she has taken from his shelves, a dreadfully boring account of the battles fought by the Kings of Winter, and perches her chin in her hands. 

That way, her staring is much more obvious. She is comfortably laid back in one of the armchairs he has in his solar. Cregan likes company when he works, and it’s easier to ask for her opinion if she is right there. Unfortunately, it also means she can stare at him for hours on end if she so wished.

“What?” Cregan asks, when he can’t take it any longer. He pushes away the reports about the safety of Wintertown and how prepared they are for winter, and looks up at her. She still doesn’t speak. “Sara!” 

“Apologies, brother.” By her smile, she is anything but sorry. “I just find it fascinating.” 

Cregan sighs. He doesn’t really want to bite, but if he doesn’t, Sara’s teasing will get worse and worse.

“What is fascinating?” 

“How you have managed to turn into a spineless southron in less than two moons.” Cregan can only gape at her. What is she going on about? “Not only have you turned timid, you are also a moron. And cunt struck. Well, are you? I know you are not getting any, does one need to actually be bedding the woman to be cunt…” She doesn’t even finish her words, cackling with laughter.

His face grows hot, burning with embarrassment. 

“I should have married you to an Umber and be done with it.” He mutters, under his breath, which only makes her cackle further. Both of them know that Sara would never be married off as if she were some cattle. Cregan loves her too much for it, and she is a deeply independent woman. 

“Who would advise you, then?” She asks him, brazenly. “Your sweet little wife? While she is great at wrangling lords and ladies, I doubt she has the stomach for warfare.” 

“There is a certain innocence to these Velaryons, yes.” At his words, Sara glares. She hates to be reminded she had not been as immune as she liked to think she was to Prince Jacaerys’ charms. “But if the worst comes to pass, I actually intend to have her hold Winterfell alongside you and Rickon.” 

“There must always be a Stark in Winterfell.” Sara approves. “Shall you march south, Rickon and I will suffice.” 

“I wish to begin teaching her, when she no longer seems willing to murder me.” 

“I think she isn’t willing to murder you any longer.” And it is as good of an endorsement he will get from Sara. 

“She still seems to think I do not love her.” Cregan whines. 

“Because you mention Arra all the time. I have heard it’s in bad taste, but what would I know?” Sara rolls her eyes. “I am just some bastard girl.” 

“Are you simply going to complain or will you help me?” Cregan looks at her and tries giving her his best pleading look. Then, he decides to stroke her pride. “You know I always seek your council, even above other lords.” 

“Even above Lord Cerwyn?” Her mouth purses in a dubious pout. Fuck. His sister or his best friend? In the end, the choice is easy. Sara is here now, after all. 

“Of course.”

Sara positively beams. 

“You should tell him so.” Her rivalry with him had never made any sense to him, they had known each other since childhood, too. The man didn’t even care about who her mother had been and never took insult with her… Well, insults. Plural. Always thrown at him by Sara. Now that he thought of it, his friend always sought excuses to see Sara. Odd. “Loudly. But I am feeling generous and not demand that you do so immediately. I shall gloat in my victory, and it will be even sweeter if he doesn’t know.” 

“Your advice?” Cregan asks, tiredly. The Gods knew that she would talk circles around him if he let her. She was honest, but she also had a gift for courtly speech that Cregan despised. 

“Women like gifts. Or I do. And I am a woman.” Sara shrugs. “She is a Princess, of course she does too. And don’t just gift her anything.” 

“I would never be…” That stupid, Cregan wishes to add, but Sara is still speaking. 

“Gift her something special. Something unique, tailored to her. And especially, something that you wouldn’t gift practical Arra.” 

Cregan stares at Sara. Sara stares back. Then, very pointedly, she picks up her book and continues to read. The message is clear. He will not get any further help. 

Still, her advice lingers. In the coming days, Cregan cannot shake the thought, regardless of what he is doing. As he inspects his men, as he reads during his spare time, even as he bathes. All Cregan thinks of is you, and a gift that would please you. 

He even dares ask Rickon. His suggestion of a direwolf isn’t exactly bad. It’s just difficult on its execution, and not something Cregan would choose when thinking of a gift for you. 

He discards many more ideas, from rolls of myrish lace to donations to your charities. You ran far too cold to wear the former, and the latter wouldn’t truly be a gift to you. He wastes nearly a week coming up with a suitable idea, and two more corresponding with the Prince, the Maester at Dragonstone, and securing the goods he needs. 

It’s all worth it, when he takes a look at the finished present and can know that you will love it. 

[a-very-tired-raven]

how's your fam? your mama had that struggle a while back. and your sister is a megamind simp. A lot to handle

Tragic, i know. I dunne if ill be able to make it much further

[ejga-ostja]

heard u guys like megarox

[frogs-and-oscar-brainrot]

Megamind simps are hiding so cleverly. I won't believe there aren't any. They're just ashamed. Like a bad guy turned good guy with super shoes? Suspicious. For years I have been wondering if there might be a secret society for Megamind's lovers, because I didn't saw any sign of their existence. REVEAL YOURSELF!!!