#meeting women

[umbershift]

Honestly one of the things I like about Edwin’s character development and accepting he likes guys is that everyone else is so normal about it. He’s the only one going But. That’s Not Allowed? And Niko the others are like sure it is! They take Monty liking him as something normal and obvious. Being surrounded by people who take that kind of thing as a given is such a nice (and bizarre) feeling when you’re not used to it

And of course when he tells Charles and there’s no recoil no betrayal just “ok I can’t say I feel the same way but you ARE my best friend and I’m not going anywhere.” The confession didn’t make anything weird. They have as much time as they want to figure this out. I love them so much

[sexypennymaykitten]

Should I pull it up baby❤️?

[rmbunnie]

I see so much of "is post-crisis Robin Jason an innocent little sweetie-pie or a mean aggro delinquent" and after reading through all of his batman and detective comic issues post-crisis I think i can safely say he's... an introverted and distrustful, but altogether friendly teen boy who has convinced himself to the deepest level that he is an Adult Man, and also does not hold a particularly good view of adults.

The sweet little babypie characterization falls a little short (assuming we aren't being too silly with it, there's plenty of that in the comedy issues of tec) because it disregards the part where he's a jaded teenager who is constantly going off and trying to take care of his own problems like "his own man" and reacts negatively to any breach of trust or move to take care of him. But negative doesn't mean "violent and rageful." The delinquent angle is incorrect because not only is his disposition peppy, silly, and agreeable most of the time, but assuming the problem upsetting him isn't a predator or the guy who killed his dad (and three out of four canon instances it is a predator to be clear) he reacts to emotional turmoil with Bruce by bedrotting, sulking, communicating through notes, and overall being avoidant. The only times he lashes out are when Bruce is calling him out or after Bruce told him to his face that he chose to look for the Joker over looking for him, and that case of "lashing out" is just getting a little snarky.

More than anything his main personality trait (besides being silly, a robin staple) is kinda coming into this parentified as fuck. Not that it's Catherine's fault, but it really shaped his character, like one of the first things he says to Bruce (after he promised not to turn Jason in to the foster system) is that he kept her fed and warm as long as he could like he wasn't her ten year old child when he started. It's why he views himself on the same level as adults and why he gets all closed off at any insinuation that he needs to be taken care of, both of which heavily inform his dynamic with Bruce. He's constantly checking in on Bruce's wellbeing, like half of Batman: the Cult is just him taking care of Bruce while he recuperates from being brainwashed. (Side note, he's also constantly asking Bruce stuff like "what's your relationship like with this woman or this rogue or the concept of religion, how did that play out, how do you feel about it?" he is Very chatty like that.) The first thing he does when Sheila tells him her (revised to exclude medical malpractice) life story is hold HER and try to affirm her struggle. After a while he starts to act more childish with Bruce (although he doesn't really stop trying to brush off attempts to care for him) but as soon as Bruce admits he prioritized crimefighting over Jason and didn't show up to look after Jason like Jason assumed he came there for, Jason snaps back to acting very independent and rejecting any attempts to be looked after on any terms other than some kind of "equals" thing, which he isn't, as he's a 15 year old boy. Like. He's very sweet to his former neighbor, but also he refers to being a homeless child and the sole provider in his condemned building living situation as "getting by" to her.

He's definitely not. some bloodthirsty delinquent, at least to anyone who's not an uber-misogynistic predator, and he like demonstrably is a pretty sweet kid. It's just that when people say he's a sweet kid they kinda just jump to "untraumatized eight-year-old who grew up in a loving family and just got a new puppy from Santa" instead of "good hearted and curious teenager who has trust issues and is deeply uncomfortable with being taken care of, so kinda just compromises by pretending his dad is a Friend Doing him a Solid and acts like his kid only when he has plausible deniability so he can't get the rug pulled out from under him." Of course. He does kinda get the rug pulled out from under him despite all that. So there's that.

[veraelisa3]

[alotofpockets]

Meeting again | Part 1 | Leah Williamson x Reader

Where you take your son to Leah's book signing and you reconnect with your high school friend/crush.

Happy birthday to our blonde pookie!

Meeting again universe | Woso masterlist | Words: 2.7k

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You were doing some work around the house when your ex called. “Hey Ryan, what’s up?” You say as you turn off the vacuum. “Hi y/n, I’m so sorry. I know that it’s my day, but I’m going to be stuck at work until late. Is there any way you can pick up Liam from school and take him to that book signing from Leah?” The two of you had gotten a divorce many years ago, when you had finally come to terms with your sexuality. Ryan had always been understanding, and now you were still friends, and co-parented your son Liam together. “Oh yeah, don’t worry, I can do that.” You could hear the relief in his voice. “Thank you so much, I owe you one. He has a half day, so he should be done at school in about an hour. I packed his Arsenal jersey and scarf, he wanted to wear them to the signing. Thank you again, I have to go. Send me pictures of the signing?”  Your kid would always be your number one priority, so you hung up the phone and got ready.

“Hey bud, your dad is stuck at work, so I’m going to take you to Waterstones later, is that okay?” The boy greeted you with a hug. “Yes, of course, you’ll get to see Leah again!” Back in high school you and Leah were very close, there was even some gossip about the two of you dating, but when you got wind of that you shut those rumours down quickly by starting a relationship with Ryan, a relationship that drove a wedge between your friendship with Leah. Your love for the women’s game continued to grow though, and you have supported Arsenal all your life, just like Leah. Liam fell in love with it too, and you often found yourself amongst the crowd of Arsenal WFC and Lionesses matches together. Liam was a smart kid, and after finding you looking at TikTok videos of Leah, he started asking questions. “Watch it, or we’re not going.” You said with a fake seriousness. Liam knew full well that it was an empty threat as you loved messing with him. 

You decided to make it a special day for your son, by taking him out for lunch before heading over to Waterstones. It was to no surprise to you that he wanted to go to his favourite restaurant. “Smile for your dad.” The boy looked up from his plate with a big grin on his face. Proudly wearing his Williamson jersey and his Arsenal scarf. 

The line at Waterstones was long, but you bought the book and joined the line together. You could tell he was excited just by the way his eyes lit up, and his smile was constantly present on his face. His excitement made you glad that you were able to join him on this occasion, but it didn’t trump your nerves of seeing Leah again. Of course, you had seen her play, but you were always just a person in the crowd, and now you were going to be face to face with the girl you’ve had a crush on since you were fifteen. 

Never in your life had you been so nervous to see someone from your past, but you set it aside for your son, this was his moment. Plus Leah would probably not even remember you, right? You were a nobody, and she was the England captain and the Arsenal co-captain. 

When it was your turn, Liam walked up to the signing table, while you stood back to take pictures. “Hi, what’s your name?” You heard the blonde ask your son. “I’m Liam, it’s very nice to meet you. My mom is a big fan of yours as well.” The sneaky little bastard, you thought as your eyes met Leah’s. Her eyes showed instant recognition. ‘Yours?’ she mouthed your way, and you answered with a nod. “It’s very nice to meet you too Liam, want to come over to this side for a picture?” Leah signed the book, and wrote something on one of the cards laying to the side as Liam made his way around the table. “I see you’re repping my jersey! You know what would go great with that?” He shook his head. “This new cap, would you like one?” Liam looked over to you with hopeful eyes, “Can I mom?” You smiled at the interaction between Leah and your son, “Yeah, of course.” He turned back to Leah, “Thank you so much!” The two posed for a picture. “Any time Liam. Here is your signed book, and could you please give this card to your mom?” He grinned big when he saw a written phone number on the back of the card. “Thank you Leah!”

“Mom! I got you her number, you have to call her!” You look at the card that Liam handed you ‘Would love to catch up, send me a text if you’re up for it :)’ along with her cell. You looked between the card and Leah, who shot you a smile before returning to the next person in line. “Please tell me you’re going to send her a text, please!” Liam was tired of always seeing you admire Leah from afar, and now that you had a real shot to reconnect with her, he wanted you to take it. Plus how cool would it be if his mom would go out with the Leah Williamson? You pocket the card, “Maybe later, you little snitch. I thought we had a deal.” You say playfully as you put your arm around his shoulder. Quite frankly it scared you a little to send her a text. “Let’s head home.”

When you got home you put Leah’s number in your phone and stared at the message screen forever, trying to decide what to text her. You really wanted to reconnect with her, but you also didn’t want to overcompensate, and ruin any chance you had. You settled on something simple, letting her make the next move.

You: Hi Leah, it’s y/n. It was good seeing you today, catching up sounds nice.

You hadn’t expected to get a message back from her so soon.

Leah: So glad we ran into each other. Talk about the details later?

The message notification was staring back at you, your heart was beating out of your chest simply from her message. You quickly put your phone away, without opening her message when Liam walks in. “Mom, you know that I want you to be happy right?” You nod, “Of course, I know that kiddo. What makes you say that?” He shrugs, “I just don’t want you to hold back because of me.” You shake your head, “You’re too smart. I love you, kiddo.” He hugs your side, “I love you too, mom.” 

The two of you were hanging out at home, when Ryan called again. “Hey, thank you for sending me those pictures. They really made my day, glad to see him so happy.” You notice the exhaustion behind his words, “Yeah of course, I don’t want you to miss out on stuff because of your job.” Liam was so important to the both of you, but your divorce had led to missing some things here and there, that you always tried to minimise together. “Speaking of work, I should be done around eight. You know I hate to ask, but-” You interrupted him, “You don’t have to ask, of course. Pick him up whenever you are done, okay?” You heard the relief in his voice, “Thank you. Can I talk to him for a moment?” You walk over to Liam and hand him the phone, “It’s your dad.” After handing him your phone, you give him some space to talk to his dad. 

You continued vacuuming since you weren’t done when you had to pick up Liam from school. So, you didn’t hear the interaction with Ryan, or when the call was over, and definitely not when you got another phone call. Liam looked at the contact and smirked to himself. When he realised you didn’t hear the phone call, he picked up himself. “Hi Leah, it’s Liam.” The girl had not expected your son to pick up, but she went with it anyway. “Hey Liam! How did you like the book signing?” He told her how much he enjoyed it before Leah continued with her questions. “I was looking for your mom, is she around?” If it were a video call, Leah would have seen the mischievous look in Liam’s eyes, but since it was a voice call he could hide behind the screen. “She is a little busy right now, but she said she wanted to invite you over for dinner tonight if you had time.” Leah knew she should’ve questioned it more, but she wanted to see you so badly, that she set up dinner plans with your son. 

Just ten minutes before Leah said she would be there Liam came walking up to you. “Hey mom, so I kind of invited Leah over for dinner tonight.” Never in your life had you turned around so quickly, “You did what?” You could not believe what your son had just told you. “She will be here in-” His sentence was interrupted by the doorbell. “Now.” He said with a big smile. You were frozen in place, Leah Williamson was at your door, and you were in sweats and a tank top, your hair a mess from the house work you had been doing for the past hour. “Are you going to let her in?” You turned to Liam, “You are going to be in so much trouble later.” Again, Liam knew there was no actual threat behind your words, because that’s not how you parented.

On your way to the door, you tried to quickly fix your hair. You open the door, “Oh hi Ryan, you’re here early.” He smiles back at you, “Yeah our last meeting got cancelled, sorry I didn’t let you know.” You shake your head, “No, no it’s okay. Liam, your dad is here!” The boy came running into his dad’s arms. “You’re here!” The bond between them was amazing, he truthly loved the both of you equally. “Have you had something to eat yet?” Liam shakes his head, “How does McDonald’s sound?” You grab Liam’s bag, and give him a quick kiss on his cheek, before waving the both of them off. 

As soon as you closed the door, you ran up the stairs to quickly get changed, and look more presentable. You had just finished doing your hair when your doorbell rang again. This time it was Leah standing on the other side of the door. “Hi Leah, come in.” She looked so beautiful in her simple white t-shirt and a pair of green cargo pants. “Hey y/n, thank you. No Liam?” She questioned when you walked her further into the house. “He wanted to be here but his dad came to pick him up a little bit ago. I’m sorry to say that McDonald’s has been picked over dinner with you.” You joke, hoping to make the moment a bit lighter. Hearing Leah’s laugh brought you back to those days where you would sit on the grass, and make fun of the boys on the football team. 

“So, Liam is a big fan of football then?” Leah started awkwardly. You loved talking about him, so you just started talking. “Yeah, I started taking him to matches when he was still a little baby. He loved it ever since, I can’t go to an Arsenal match without him nowadays. A gooner from the start, just like you.” Leah blushed slightly. “So, you’ve been coming to our matches all this time?” Now it was your turn to blush. “Maybe.” The both of you laugh. “Ryan surprisingly never got into football, so it’s been something I get to share with Liam.” The name you mentioned caught Leah’s attention. “Wait Ryan is Liam’s dad? You actually married high school Ryan?” You realised that bringing his name up was probably a mistake since he is what drove the two of you apart. “Oh yeah, high school Ryan indeed. Liam’s dad indeed, and I did marry him. We haven’t been married for like five years though.” 

Leah’s ears perk up at that. “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” You shrug your shoulders, “It’s all good, it was time I finally figured out my sexuality. We’re still friends, and he's great with Liam. Anyways, how have you been?” The two of you start talking and catching up, and somehow even though more than a decade had passed and you had lived such different lives, it felt like you had never not known each other. 

You walk into the kitchen together, still talking, when the both of you start getting hungry. That is when you realise that you had to go to the grocery store today, and didn’t have much in the house. “So, confession time. I didn’t actually know you were coming over until Liam told me about ten minutes before you arrived.” Leah laughed, “I had a feeling the invite wasn’t extended by you, but I didn’t want the opportunity to go to waste.” You blush at her words. “I am very happy that you are here, don’t get me wrong. I was just not prepared. It was Ryan’s day with the kid, but he got stuck at work so I didn’t have a chance to go to the grocery store like I had originally planned. Let’s see, I have Potato Smileys, and literally nothing else. I am so sorry.” Leah did not care what you would eat one bit, she was just happy to be there with you. “Good thing I love Potato Smileys then!”

You shared a laugh at the situation and decided to make the best of it. While the Potato smileys were in the oven, you set the table with some condiments to go along with them. As you were waiting for the Smileys to cook, you and Leah fell back into conversation. You were reminiscing over old times, and shared stories from the past years since. It was easy talking to her, it really felt like no time had passed.

Once you were done with dinner, you moved to the living room where you each found a comfortable place on the couch to continue catching. Before you realised it, hours had passed by. Leah looked at her watch, and noticed the time first. “Oh it’s late, I hadn’t realised so much time had passed.” You glance at the clock yourself, “Wow, yeah it is. I’m really glad you came over tonight, catching up with you has been great.” Leah smiled in return, “Yes it was, I’ve missed this. I hope we can hang out again soon!” You walk her to the door, “For sure! Liam and I will be at the match Sunday, maybe we can do something after? If you don’t mind him tagging along of course.” Her smile grew big, “I would love that, and for Liam to tag along always!”

As you said goodbye, and Leah got into her car you couldn’t help but feel hopeful for what the future might hold. Just having Leah back into your life in whatever way possible made you extremely happy. Tonight had been so nice, and you really wanted to see Leah again soon, Sunday didn’t feel soon enough. So, you decided to send her a message. You felt less nervous sending this message than the one this afternoon, but still there were some nerves.

You: Would you maybe want to grab a coffee sometime this week? I’d love to meet up sooner than Sunday.

As you were getting ready to go to bed, your phone dinged with a new message.

Leah: I know a great spot! Are you free tomorrow?

You smiled at the text, Leah proposing tomorrow had to mean she wanted to see you again soon too, right? You quickly let her know you’re free, before sending her a goodnight message and calling it a night. Though, your mind kept you up for a while longer, not wanting to let go of today just yet.

Continue reading part 2!

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[xxxvideos24]

Who’s down for fun🤭🍆💦🍑

Meetups 🍑💦

Source: newdatingme69.com

[aman1taverna]

what the actual fuck? all of the comments were supporting this dude even after this disgustingly misogynistic comment. I feel so bad for the women at that event.

"I don't even act like a man" yes you do. you're just completely delusional. @redditreceipts

[doodleddaisies]

Peak brainrot so dancing with the stars au where Steve is a dwts pro (Ballroom champ, baby) who gets paired with Eddie, a famous musician, who only agreed to do the show if he could be in the first male-presenting couple (since Shangela was in drag during her time on the show)

And Steve (who is currently not publicly out) grew up around a lot of toxic masculinity and casual homophobia in the dance world so he’s like fuck it, let’s do it

They make it through the first week, but after them and the show are getting a lot of hate about having the male couple pairing and Eddie has decided to make it his mission to give them all the middle finger and fucking win this whole thing to prove a point

So he goes to Steve and asks to up the difficulty and if they can make all their dances as gay as possible and Steve is like hell yeah I’m in

So they keep competing every week and are clearly the audience favorite (the ones that aren’t homophobic at least) and somewhere along the way they fall in love very similar to Britt and Daniel and get married and live happily ever after the end

[ihatebrainstorm]

@bloominglegumes 's Drift and Ratchet humanformer designs because I think about them every waking second that I'm alive- They're just.. so soft it kills me ;v; <333

[girlokwhatever]

will there be a part 3 to meet the martins? 👀

there will be many parts 🤭🤭

๋࣭ ⭑༊*·˚𐦍༘⋆‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ welcome to vegas,,

(part three of the meet the martins series)

kate martin x fem!reader

the move to vegas was… difficult to say the least.

moving halfway across the country was never easy, especially when you were leaving all but one thing behind. you felt like the time you had to say goodbye to your childhood was unfulfilling due to your attention being pulled elsewhere. every second was spent packing valuable possessions or planning flights instead of giving your family a proper goodbye.

kate did everything she could to alleviate your stress. she could tell you were losing sleep, too fixated on whether or not everything was in order. there’d be moments when kate would have to comfort you late at night, whispering sweet nothings in your ear to coax you into relaxation.

both of your family’s gave an emotional farewell at the airport as you boarded your flight. numerous ‘i love you’s and ‘good luck’s had been exchanged, everyone contagiously sharing their affections with kisses and hugs as well.

kate never took her eyes completely off of you, always preferring to have you in arms length once you started to board the plane. she’d give you a few sneak kisses every now and then to comfort you and herself. she was beyond nervous too. she’d been at iowa for countless years, meeting amazing people and building friendships she hopes will last a lifetime. but kate knew if you had you by her side, nothing else mattered.

after a long week of planning and prepping for this moment, you and kate were finally seated and on your way to vegas. it was a surreal feeling, a little sad but definitely exciting. your fiancé noticed your nervousness more than anything, slight worry etched on her own features.

“you’re not having second thoughts right?” she jokes, but part of her is genuinely asking.

“of course not kate.”

“okay good, cause you’re kinda stuck with me now.”

kate playfully shrugs, a big smile on her face as she looks at you. now that the hard part is over (saying goodbye to your family), you feel a bit more at ease. kate’s presence and enthusiasm has that affect on you usually, it’s one of the things you love most about her.

“kate baby, ive been stuck with you for awhile now. i wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

her smile grows uncontrollably at your words, feeling the heat rush to her cheeks. kate knows she hit the jackpot with you and she’s very honest about that to anyone who asks. that’s why she never second guessed her choice in proposing to you or asking you to live with her. she just knew you were the one.

hours passed with hushed whispers and laughter, the two of you striking up random conversation to help pass the time. kate had always been the best flight buddy. in between naps you watched movies and ate random snacks the flight offered all while kate rested on your shoulder.

it was nice.

it was almost midnight when you landed. during the last few minutes of the flight you gawked at the las vegas lights, purples and yellows decorated the skyline to create a beautiful welcoming view. in the not so far away distance you could spot the ‘welcome to fabulous vegas’ sign.

the light alone brought you out of your groggy state, eyes immediately widening in awe. kate pulled you out of your seat, hands on your waist as the two of you walked out together to get your bags. you almost fell asleep again just waiting for them to show up. the whole time your back was pressed to kate’s chest, your head lolling back into her collarbone as she snuck her arms around your midsection to hold you close.

“hold on baby, i see your bag.”

kate pulls away from you and takes her warmth with her, leaving you standing alone. your eyes follow her path to the luggage, not being able to control your wandering eyes as she bends over to pick your bag up out of the masses. once she returns you fall back into your previous position leaning against her. your fiancé kisses the top of your head a few times, rubbing smooth hands up and down the length of your torso. you’re almost standing asleep but she pulls away once more because she finally spotted her bag.

time after that went by quickly, one blink and you were already at kate’s new apartment. she was beyond excited to show you the new home you’d be sharing with her. you’ve already seen it over the phone when she had looked into buying it but never saw it in person until now.

kate wanted you to feel comfortable here. that’s why she brought all your favorite miscellaneous items from home to place here, littering the space with notes of you. pictures of you and kate were scattered throughout and it made your heart warm to know she took the time to print them out and find the perfect frame.

“i know it’s a bit empty right now but i wanted us to go furniture shopping together so…”

“it’s okay kate, i love it so much already.”

kate closes the already-small gap between you to seal a kiss, hands gentle as she pulls you in closer by your waist. you could feel the last of your worries wash away, only having enough room to hold your love for kate.

that night kate showered you with love, immediately pulling you into bed once your pajamas were on.

most of your time before sleep was spent lazily making out, holding each other while wordlessly melting into one soul filled only with love. you were molded into the sheets with kate as your limbs tangled together into a knot. you could hardly breathe, only finding few seconds where kate would let you pull away.

she needed you. she needed to know that you needed her too.

once she let you part from her swollen lips she admired you in the dim light. she wanted to keep you like this forever, messy and lovestruck in her bed.

“i’m really glad you’re here.”

“i’m glad to be here.”

kate really couldn’t help it when she started crying. you followed her movements as she sat up, face hidden deep in her hands. you weren’t aware yet of her state but her sudden change concerned you.

“kate?”

“yeah?” her voice was meek, so quiet you could hardly hear her.

“baby what’s wrong? are you okay?”

“i’m fine, really. im just.. so happy. i can’t even believe you’re real and we’re going to be married. you’re my biggest dream come true, y’know that right?”

her words leave you speechless. kate’s always been a big softie, constantly saying sweet things that leave you breathless and in awe. this has to be one of those moments because it makes you fall even deeper in love with her, appreciating the peace her words bring to you.

“kate, this is my dream too. you’re my dream. i can’t wait to be your wife and spend the rest of my life with you, i swear.”

“you swear? like a pinky promise swear?”

“yes, a pinky promise swear.”

kate finds herself pulling you in for the millionth time that night. this time her kiss is targeted and firm, wanting to really show you how much you mean to her. you can feel her conviction, especially when she cups both of her hands tenderly around the sides of your face.

your first night in vegas with kate— the first night of your new life— was spent in the embrace of the woman you love most. the same woman that gave you love and helped you find some sort of purpose. you were both confident that almost every night following would be spent the same.

it was your vow to love kate forever.

welcome to vegas!

๋࣭ ⭑༊*·˚𐦍༘⋆‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊

OK INTRO TO VEGAS DONE (but not spell-checked 🤭)

what do you think is next???? 😏

[giddlygoat]

mario + peach is such a good ship istg they’re so good. straight ship so good it feels gay

[sanjisblackasswife]

That whole argument about how gojo wouldn’t be loyal to his wife/gf and would be a cheater is such a stupid one to me because Gege does say he wouldn’t be able to commit to a woman but I don’t think it’s because he’ll cheat. Not Committing could also mean due to circumstances he wouldn’t be able to be a consistent partner plus it’d be one of the biggest contradictions of his character simply because u see his loyalty to his students and even to Geto. His life really isn’t something he can always be so relaxed about I mean the man can’t even have hobbies.

And then yk what Gojo’s weakness is; his kind heart. Which is also him being human but that’s another topic

Idk when people say he’d be a cheater I just roll my eyes tbh.

I do not think if given the chance to be a boyfriend/husband he’d be a bad one. A great one? No he def has his flaws, but I think he’d try his hardest🙂‍↕️

I also think Gojo would have an insecurity being in a relationship but that’s my personal hc🦦.

[rileyreign69]

Available for meetups..sloppy head..car sex🫠💦 Also available for FaceTime sessions and Dropbox nasty videos 💐💦 Ask for menu…all available 🫥🥀

Text my telegram @babyrileyxd

[inkskinned]

"it's so embarrassing you like that popular thing" "oh ew that geeky/strange thing is so cringe lol" "oh it's kind of weird you get excited about that harmless shit"

dude i love how ironic and jaded you are and that's so cool and sexy of you. and i am so so glad to tell you - you won!! we all had a meeting and we decided that you won, and we are writing your name on the inside of a burger king crown. the marker smeared, sorry, but we knew any form of real effort is ugly to you. but anyway. congrats! you are officially the coolest, most ironic, most jaded person in-the-world-right-now. we would throw you a party but you would think it was totally boring - and besides, we're weird so we wouldn't have been coming. we would have brought our love of beetles and of baking and of little canapes. we would have brought our artsy videogames and pages of writing. we would have written a poem with you, our hands covered in ink, and spread out a canvas to dance on, the night so lurid and pink.

but do not worry. we will not throw the party. we will just get you a ringlight and that crown i mentioned. it is a nice crown, except for where one of us dropped it.

the vote was a really hard one because we had so many cool ironic people to pick off the shelves. all of you have hands that rot fruit, how strange is that - you can't look at something without destroying it for other people. you like it when you can squeeze a person into a pinpoint - all us small ones scampering our little feet around our ugly joys. the vote was also a hard one because we kept our voices down because you don't like it when we talk too loud. you were on your phone at the time, talking to people other than us. you are a ghoul of every moment - half in, half out, you resent us for being here without shame or embarrassment.

so good news! we have invented an island for people like you. you get to go there and speak into the air things like if you still like watching harmless twitch streamers in 2023 you're fucking boring. you will say things like liveplay podcasts are fucking ugly and it's kind of awkward they try to make everything gay. on the island we made you, all of your words will have weight. they will form in the air like icicles, large white behemoth letters that will crumple in anvils around your feet. maybe we will send someone there once in a while to sweep, but honestly you might be there for a while, alone, waiting. we are busy being outside looking for mushrooms and flapping our hands and humming. we are busy kicking our little heels while we watch cringey tv. we are busy - sorry! as an apology, we have pre-filled the island with every bland, mediocre, unscented thing we could find. the island has the texture of american cheese. the island has an ocean that never gets angry. the island is perfect for you, trust me. you will be so happy there - as happy as you can be, ironically.

we want to say we are sorry for doing harmless things that you find annoying, childish, or unappealing - but we are not sorry. we thought we could help you, because we don't mind laughing at ourselves, but it turns out you are allergic to color and noise and atmosphere, so this is the best that we can do for now. we are all making a big shirt that says i voted in the ironic monarchy. we got you one that is just a fast fashion buttondown. i am so excited for you and this island and the big life you have won. you have a cool jaded grey life and miles of irony to roam. i love you! be well.

now leave us alone.

[fictionadventurer]

Maybe the problem with Christian fiction is that it's non-denominational. People are just "Christian", with no effort put into showing what practicing that religion looks like for them specifically. No indication that there are other Christians who could have different beliefs. No wrestling with differing ideas and the struggle of how one should live out their Christian faith. And that makes it unrealistic and unrelatable.