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kaira-diaries · 1 year ago

Text

I was Never There:

Note: one shot is also available on Wattpad under my account Kairadiaries for those who prefer it.

Warning: death / violence / mention of smut / fluff / language

Pair: Javi x f!character

Summary: it's the height of the Escobar case and Javi just is never around. You're feeling a bit down and head to a club for the night with some friends. You flirt with a handsome stranger, not knowing the club you stood in was a narcos hotspot and Steve and Javi were about to raid it.

••••

The sun dawned on Medellin as I stretched my fatigued limbs, absorbing the warmth through the curtain drawn window. I held the thin cream colored sheet against my chest as I now looked to the empty side of the bed. Javi was gone most days, but made sure to leave a crumpled up note with the overwrought words I love you on my nightstand. I look at it now, tracing each messy letter, trying to find some truth in the sweet gesture.

Waking up alone is a bitter sweet feeling. I'd take Javi from Colombia if I could and keep him hidden from the travesties of someone else's responsibility, though, he's done more for this place than anybody else could ever challenge. Sometimes I feel selfish, for wanting him all to myself after three years of pillow talk. Surely I could compromise, right?

It's a question I'd take days to truthfully answer as the sheet rapped around my figure falls to the floor as I stand to get ready for the day, finding sanctuary in a distraction.

"Peppermint tea, what do you think?"

Connie, Steves wife, stands with a smile brighter than sunshine a few tea bags in hand with the baby in the other. The kitchen heats a usual degree as the spring air dances through the kitchen curtains. Connie always wished for a child, and I discover a sense of joy, watching her and the child fit like two puzzle pieces.

"Y/n?"

"Right, yeah, that sounds delectable." I snap out of it, reaching for a handheld fan across the table. The ceiling fan above revealed to be useless.

Connie flashes a sweet smile, handing the baby to me and turning back to mix the ice water with the tea bags.

"What's troubling you?" She challenged.

The baby played with my braided strands as I thought up a response.

"Troubling circumstances." I said, bouncing the giggling little girl on my lap.

The pitcher of iced tea sweats as Connie places it on the table, followed by two glasses. She reads with concern, as she pours me a glass. "Javier?" I only nod and continue.

"I feel so...isolated from him. Most nights, I'm asleep once he gets home and asleep when he sneaks out to the office in the morning. He doesn't even make love to me anymore. It just feels like sex. All I get are empty words scribbled carelessly in pen. I just..I don't know what I can do anymore."

"If I were you" She grabs my empty hand. "I'd go have fun. While you're young and still can." She adds that last part with a giggle and I find myself later that day pulling out of my closet my finest black corset sequin dress along with gaspingly high heels. I need some cheering up.

LUX

The three letters lit the street as they painted the picture of alcohol and techno music.

In the heart of Medellin there were clubs up and down the blocks with similar architecture, though Lux had been for the most prestigious guests, and its incredible what beauty can do for you in this town.

Batted eyelashes with doe eyes were what got us in as I sipped on my fifth glass of whiskey, the music vibrated through my skin. Javier had introduced the insatiable liquor to me and it became my favorite.

The time read midnight on my watch and I threw back the rest of my drink, pushing the spice down my esophagus. In need of the dance floor, I slide from my chair making my way into the intoxicated crowd. My girls from grad school were out here now, finding any type of dance partner they could to grind to the music with. I had giggled at Lisa, who threw a goofy smile and a wink in my direction. I had began to sway, sliding into beat with the music. The song was just about to reach its climax as two large hands took charge of my hips. My neck began to tickle from the whispering touches of a mustache and I leaned into it, taking refuge in the familiarity. My nose collided with the mans as I laid eyes on a handsome and stoic face. He gave a cheesy grin as our paced quickened, the climax just moments away.

That's when the first gunshot rung. Screams poisoned the air as my friends along with the rest of the crowd frantically took off towards the nearest exit and the music stopped as the club was raided with armed men. A single glimpse was all it took for me to realize... it was Javier's men and it took only another moment for all guns to be drawn and honed in on the man that stood behind me.

My legs took control as I threw myself forward to get away until a thick arm locked around my neck, the other around my waist.

I was being used as a human shield with no strength to break free and a pistol making purchase on my sweaty temple.

Like the red sea, the men surrounding us parted, making way for Javier and Steve whose jaw dropped at the sight of me. I would have shrugged my shoulders if I could, too drunk to register the danger I was in.

Of course, Javier normally read like a book.

He was panicked with a angsty expression in his eyes, no doubt, but also agitated at the sight of me not home and in bed. He had to school it, though, because whoever had their arms around me couldn't know my affiliation.

If he did, and I survived tonight, I'd be dead in a matter of days.

"Really man?" Steve raised his arms in an unbelievable gesture towards the man who tightened his grip like iron, earning a yelp from me. I cringed at the steel that dug into my backside.

A/N: From now on they are speaking spanish I just don't want to translate, k thanks!

"The way I see it, you have two options here." Javi stood with one hip out, his hands gripping his belt loop.

"You can let the girl go, and come with us peacefully. Saving the lives of your meth-heads."

I looked now, seeing them on their knees, bags over their heads, with guns pointed to their temples like me.

"Or you can choose not to let the girl go, and I shoot you square between the fucking eyes."

He shrugged, palms facing the two of us. "It's your choice."

Silence filled the air and I wasn't sure who was supposed to make the next move as I studied Javi in front of me. His eyes lulled me to relax.

"You'll never be able to stop Escobar you DEA fuck. The drugs were flown to america early this morning. You're way past the point of redemption and way past the opportunity for making up lost time."

A fat loogie flew past my cheek, landing on Javier's boot.

The color was putrid as his breath lingered around me. Javier had only given a wicked smirk as if he just signed the mans death certificate.

Steve only gagged from behind.

Charming.

I honestly hadn't planned for it to happen, but it did and it was sort of genius.

Once the contents in my stomach reached my mouth from the disgusting sight on Javier's leathered toe, there was no stopping it. Whiskey and remnants of dinner went all over the floor and the man released me, but not without slicing a deep cut into my cheek from the sharp steel of the gun.

I lost balance as he shoved me to the floor, the barrel of the gun pointed at my face.

"Filthy Bitch." He seethed.

That's when Javi had been true to his word.

The man was dead a moment later with a hole square between his eyes, hot with metal from Javi's bullet.

His body collapsed beside mine as his blood splattered on my face.

I wailed at such a sight as his body became blurry.

A/N: back to English now!

I could barely make out the expression on his face as Javi dropped to a knee before me. His jacket was shed not a moment later to gently clean the bodily fluid from my face. I had almost gagged again until he lifted me with a sweet whisper. "Lets go home."

___

I woke the next morning to a dark room.

The drapes hadn't been drawn.

The nightstand had held nothing other than a two day old glass of water.

The headache took shape quickly and I dropped back down against the pillow with a groan. Rubbing my face in hope to come to but then my fingertips collided with a large bandage stuck to my cheek.

Fuck, I didn't think the slice was that resounding.

"Morning."

Javi appeared, lingering in the doorway, his arms were crossed while leaning against the frame.

"Hi." It was small and unsure as he approached the window, opening the drapes, and letting the sun in. I only sat awkwardly like a child waiting for their punishment.

He then approached with a bottle of water and two headache pills. Handing the bottle to me, Javi gives a sweet greeting kiss and I jumped back. "I haven't brushed my teeth, Jav."

He shrugs. I tilt my head. "And I vomited my guts out last night?"

"You think that bothers me?"

"It should?" I challenged, earning an eye roll while shoving the two pills down my throat washing them down with water.

"You want to tell me why you were at Lux last night?" His brow raised with intimidation.

"Just looking for some harmless fun." I blindly picked at the fabric of the blanket, trapped in his stare.

"Yeah, a gun to the temple looked harmless."

I scoffed. "Oh please, like I knew you were going to Clint Eastwood the entire place." I crossed my arms.

He only stared.

"You need to be more smart with yourself, y/n." He caressed the bandage on my cheek as a reminder.

A reminder of another close call but I drew his hand from me.

"You don't get to tell me what I need." I spelt and leaned back into my pillow.

"You're angry with me."

"Furious" I emphasized.

He gestured me to explain. Its then that the heartbreak rose to the surface.

My eyes dropped, hiding the despair.

"I've never felt so alone." I wept with pain at the sentence.

"Javi..You're never around. I eat breakfast alone, I eat dinner alone, I sleep alone."

"Its like you don't exist." I finished as the bed adjusted beside me from his weight. My slumped figure was then pulled onto his chest. Warm arms slung around my waist and cradled the back of my head.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. His mustache tickled my forehead as he pressed a sweet kiss to it.

"This case keeps me up at night, its..never ending and I haven't wanted you seeing me in this shape because I knew it'd take just about everything from you, but if I knew you had felt like...I just..I would have been here y/n. Forgive me."

I sat up, facing him. His eyes, once brown with spunk and energy, were now grey with exhaustion. They lit the smallest spark as I caressed his cheek. "You need rest." He drew from me, only shaking his head in agreement. We laid back down.

He had explained his truth.

The case had been taking much from him, he aimed to keep it from me...out of shame? I hadn't fully known but it was enough.

From that night on things had been different.

Javi had been there, keeping his promises.

In return I was able to give him support and enough strength to get through each day, even if it ended with chasing his nightmares away.

It was a balanced give and take that wasn't there before.

#pedro pascal #lovers #fanfic #javier pena fanfiction #javier peña #agent peña #javier pena narcos #narcos #colombia #bogotá #medell�n #fluff and smutt #angst

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