#meanwhile i once again died in elysium like :))

[kirishwima]

me, fighting tooth and nail to reach elysium: i did it!! im doing it!!!

the guy that beat the game for me in a matter of 30 minutes and chatted about manga the whole time while doing so: hey good job!

[vulpinesaint]

yeah man my dnd character is doing great! beginning of last session he was miserable and stressed and fighting with his party members and thought his god hated him and his guts were literally falling out but by the end of last session. he was back on his feet, distinctly more gorgeous than he was before, body wiped clean of scars, well on his way to repairing his relationships with his party members, assured in his devotion to his god, and he was like. maybe a little less of an alcoholic even. did he have to die for this to happen! yes! does his blood run black like tar now! yeah! that's just hot boy shit though!

[zankaii]

Time Together

Pairing: ThanZag / Thanatos x Zagreus

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Humor, Oneshot

Rating: G / General

Words: 1760

Summary: Zagreus and Thanatos finally get some time off as well as some alone time together in the House of Hades.

It was awfully quiet in the House of Hades, for once. Only soft chatter and murmurs could be heard from the idle shades along the hallways. Hades put away the parchment he had just finished working on and paused, piquing Persephone's interest mid-petting Cerberus. Without prompting, Hades asked aloud, "Where's the bo- I mean, Zagreus? It's... too quiet today."

Persephone chuckled a little, "The last I saw of Zagreus, he was heading towards his chambers in a sort of hurry. Though, I can't be sure why. When he ran past me earlier, I think he mentioned something about Thanatos?" She handed Cerberus three treats, one for each head, and smiled at the sight of a happily wagging tail as he swiftly devoured them all.

"Hmph, I see. Thanatos informed me he wanted to take a break for a while and I agreed upon noting his excellent performance as of late," Hades' fiery quill pen once again hard at work, in an attempt to make up for all the lost time Hades had to spend fighting his son to the death up on the surface. "In any case, there is peace and quiet at last. I can finally catch up on all the parchment work that got delayed because of him."  Who knows when he would have to do it again? He better get some work done while he could. Persephone, on the other hand, had some other ideas.

Peeking over Hades' arm, Persephone suggested, "After this one's done, why don't we take a short break as well?" Hades paused again and looked at her. "You've been working hard these days, or nights, and you deserve to take a breather, Hades. Besides, it's not good to be cooped up at your desk forever."

"It's not like I get to stay cooped up here for long, thanks to our son," Hades wanted to say, but seeing how Persephone was looking at him... He averted his gaze and instead replied, "... Fine. Once I'm done with this one."

Persephone beamed with satisfaction, and Hades could see how wide her smile was from his peripheral vision, "Let's head to the garden together to visit our pom trees, alright?"

Hades' quill pen moves just a little faster.

Meanwhile, just east of the House of Hades, Zagreus stepped into his bedchambers to be greeted by the familiar sight of Thanatos, whom also just arrived a little before him.

"Thanatos!" Zagreus said with a tinge of surprise as if they did not plan this beforehand.

"What's with that? We agreed to meet here, didn't we?" Thanatos greeted lightheartedly, his lips slightly upturned.

"Well, yes, but I didn't expect you to turn up so... early," Zagreus said, a sheepish smile forming on his face as he reached up to scratch the back of his neck. "To be honest, I didn't think this far ahead. I... I just wanted to spend some time together with you, seeing as to how we're both always occupied with our jobs."

"Well, we have the whole day ahead of us," Thanatos started, gently setting down his scythe in a safe corner of Zagreus' messy Prince chambers. "We can figure it out as we go along."

Zagreus let out a slight chuckle, "You're right, Than. Let's just take our time, yeah?" He looked around his room and his eyes laid upon the biggest furniture he had: his recently furnished Chthonic bed he ordered from the House Contractor. Before he could say anything, however, Thanatos spoke up.

"For starters, why don't we take an actual break for once? Especially you," Thanatos walked towards the bed, vaguely gesturing to it. "When was the last time you even sat down?"

Zagreus wanted to mention the other day when he was drinking some Ambrosia with Megaera in the loun– nope. They were both standing. He swallowed his words.

"Just as I thought," Thanatos noticed the Prince's mouth opening and closing without muttering a single word. "Now, just... just come sit down." His voice trailed away as he took a seat at the edge of the bed, his gaze averted.

"Since... Since we're going to rest," Zagreus paused. "Why don't we just lie down on the bed together? I don't know when I'll get a chance to use the bed again."

Thanatos looked up at him, caught his gaze for a second before looking away again, "... You make a good point." It might be the lighting in his room but Zagreus thought he saw a tinge of gold coloring Thanatos' cheeks as the latter turned and moved to the other side of the bed.

As they both quietly settled in under the covers, nothing but silence and the ruffling of sheets could be heard. Conveniently, the Chthonic bed came with two pillows—not like Zagreus ever used them—so Thanatos took the one nearer to the wall while Zagreus scooched next to him. They both got comfortable, their heads sinking into the pillows, their faces inches away from each other.

It's not their first time being this close to each other, but the quiet and serene atmosphere of Zagreus' room, and them being alone with each other after so long felt... different. After they stopped fidgeting and moving under the covers, Zagreus looked at Thanatos with a slight smile, his voice a little lower, "So... what did you do lately? I haven't seen you around for quite a long time while ransacking my father's realm."

"It got really busy with the mortals the past handful of days and nights," Thanatos let out a small sigh, remembering how hectic it all was, before continuing slowly as if choosing his words carefully. "But... I made sure to work even harder, so I could get a break after it all died down and... spend extra time with you."

"Really?" Zagreus' eyes lit up. "No wonder Father let you off for today. I'm... Thank you, Than. I really appreciate it." His smile grew a little wider.

"There's no need to thank me. I just..." Thanatos looked down, not wanting to look any deeper into the other man's eyes. Though, that was how he saw Zagreus' hand reach up towards him first before he noticed his face just centimeters away from his.

"I missed you, too," Zagreus leaned closer a little more and gently rubbed his nose against Thanatos', one hand cupping his cheek. Thanatos blushed, his cheeks a bright gold, and Zagreus chuckled softly upon seeing how flustered he was. He then fell quiet and let the silence simmer for a second or two before continuing, his voice a whisper. "Do you... Do you want to kiss?"

Unbeknownst to both of them, Thanatos could blush harder than he already was, and that Thanatos, being embarrassed and flustered out of his mind, could accidentally teleport out of the chamber entirely.

Meanwhile, further east of the House of Hades, past the Prince's bedchambers, the God and Queen of the Underworld are lovingly tending to the pom trees together. Hades helped gather the poms together, and Persephone prepared the trees for their next bountiful harvest.

"Alright, just one more pom tree to go!" Persephone held Hades' hand as she led him to the last tree. "You can set the basket down over h–" Before she could finish her sentence, a bright green light flashed in front of them.

Standing in front of them was a somewhat disheveled Thanatos with gold-powdered cheeks.

No one said a thing or moved an inch for what felt like a solid minute.

"Um..." Persephone finally broke the silence. "Thanatos? Are you... Are you alrigh–"

"Yes!" Thanatos replied a little too quickly, adjusting his robes as naturally as he could while avoiding eye contact with the couple. "A-Apologies for the interruption, my Lord and Queen Persephone. I will take my leave now." The moment the last word left his lips, he was gone in another flash of green light before anyone could say anything more.

Hades and Persephone, left alone once again, looked at each other for a while, neither saying anything. Hades wordlessly set down the basket of poms and Persephone piped up, "Well... I'm sure they'll be fine."

Meanwhile, less east of the House of Hades, in the Prince's bedchambers, Thanatos returned to a Zagreus who was propped up on an elbow, looking back at him with a cheeky grin on his face. He subconsciously braced himself.

"So, how was the trip?" Zagreus said, almost like he rehearsed it while Thanatos was gone.

Thanatos gingerly lay back down beside him, "One more word and you'll have a swim in River Styx."

Zagreus snickered playfully, then kept his mouth shut. Once Thanatos was back beside him, he shuffled closer to him, slipped an arm around his waist, and pulled him closer. Gently and carefully, he pressed his forehead against Thanatos'. Thanatos tried his best to look into his eyes this time around, and his heart skipped a beat at how gentle his gaze was.

"So... You didn't answer my question just now," Zagreus said delicately. "Do you want to kiss?"

Zagreus waited for Thanatos' reply patiently, and Thanatos couldn't help but pull his gaze away. He muttered, "S-Sure..."

They both knew it was their first time together so taking it slow was an unspoken consensus. The only experience Zagreus had when it came to romantic intimacy, however, was squinting at Achilles and Patroclus kissing in the Elysium glades from afar before they eventually spot him and slowly stop. Well, there's always a first time for everything, gods and mortals alike.

They both lean in for a kiss, lips slightly parted and breaths held. Thanatos reached a hand up to hold Zagreus' face softly, and he felt him smile a little into the kiss. When they pulled away, his smile was in full bloom, "Mm, that wasn't too bad... Another one?" Zagreus pushed his nose gently against Thanatos' cheek, nudging him for an answer they both already knew.

Thanatos answered, a little more firmly than both of them expected, "You don't have to ask all the time, you know? Just do it..." His voice trailed off as Zagreus pulled him deeper into his embrace, and they lean in for another kiss or two, or maybe three.

Somehow it felt like they never really left each other's sides. Zagreus leaving without a word and Thanatos trying to get a hold of him—all of that seemed so long ago.

Regardless, they have eternity and more to make up for all the lost time between them, and this is just the start of it all.

[m4gp13]

For those of you who made it through my laughably incoherent ethabaster think piece, here’s some hc’s, you’ve earned them:

- Ethan has sole possession of their one shared brain cell. Alabaster is not allowed to even look at it. This is because they used to have two but Al broke the good one trying to blow up something (probably Percy).

- If Al finds out Ethan left without some form of magical protection i.e. a sigil, a crystal, ground eggshells, he will be pretty much vibrating with nerves until Ethan gets back so he can give him a once-over.

- Alabaster’s from a very witchy family who all worship Hecate for many reasons that differ depending on which estranged relative you ask and they all kinda saw Al as the first coming of witch Christ so he had a lot of expectations at a very young age.

- Ethan knows this and tries to lift as much Titan army business off his shoulders as possible.

- He accidentally lifts too much off to the point where he is drowning in work and is now the one in need of saving. But does he tell anyone that if he looks at one more stack of demands from his mile long list of bosses he’s going to cry for five hours? Of course not don’t be ridiculous.

- Alabaster immediately hated Percy as soon as he heard the guys name but due to the arena stuff and telling Thalia not to k*ll him Ethan actually held a bit of respect for Percy which annoyed Al to no end.

-This was until the not-so-peaceful peace talk in tlo when Percy starts shit talking Nemesis and Ethan just internally goes “actually the witch bitch was right this guy sucks ass”

-However, under no circumstances will Ethan ever tell this to Alabaster; not because he values his pride (he has none) but because he knows the life of a demigod is short and he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his very short one hearing Al rub that one thing in his face for every single second of it.

- And I mean Every. Single. Second.

- So yeah he takes that to the grave and doesn’t even tell anyone in the underworld in case they tell Al when he dies and he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his afterlife with Al being a dumbass. (also yes Ethan got into Elysium, fuck you)

- (Actually I have another idea about where Ethan went post-life but that’s so far from canon it’s more of an AU than a headcanon so we’re gonna leave that out for now)

- Al thought he was the one in charge of the Hecate kids because he was the most powerful and the highest ranking in the army but he was Not. That was Ethan. The Hecate kids thought Ethan was their unofficial adopted baby brother but little did they know he was the mum the whole time.

- Ethan is the only thing standing between them and starving to death. He also does the younger kids hair and gives everyone with long hair super intricate braids that stay out of their faces during “field work”. Al thinks this is more of him trying to take the weight off his shoulders but Ethan knows that if he doesn’t do this shit no one will so he kinda has to. Not that he doesn’t like doing it. being helpful is his love language.

 - Because of their powers over the mist the Hecate kids of the army were notorious pranksters who were usually at war with the Hermes kids (wars usually declared by Al because he rolled a zero on self restraint) but none of them prank Ethan because “nooooo you can’t do him he babey 🥺”

- Ethan has simply decided that what the magic prank wizards don’t know can’t hurt them and just turns to his blind side whenever he sees them sneaking off the ship to get Micky D’s in the middle of the night to stay on their good sides.

- Speaking of the ship, Ethan thinks it’s the dumbest thing in the world that one of their most powerful demigod enemies is the son of a sea god and he actually has a pretty decent relationship with said sea god and their main base of operations aside from mt Othrys is a fucking BOAT. He tells Al all about his worries for the ship and while Al assures him that nothing that bad could happen he always makes sure that the ship always has the least amount of demigods on board at all times just in case.

- It takes all the strength Ethan has not to yell “TOLD YOU SO” at him when the ship blows up.

- Al probably either wears basic white boy clothes or typical witchy stuff (like moons and shit) depending his mood meanwhile Ethan found out about leather and just goes for it.  

- Every grunge/punk/emo/eboy/teachwear bitch aspires to be him and because he aint about all that “gender roles” bs he definitely goes about wearing cool egirl stuff too. Not just slightly feminine shaped jumpers but all the plaid skirts, fishnets and lace trimmed dresses he can steal afford and Al, despite his more basic fashion taste is here for it. You’ve never seen someone more supportive of their pals fits, get you a hypeman like Al. You deserve it. (Ethan is also not afraid to walk around in a full pastel gamer girl fit)

- (Also Al hyping up one Ethans fits in front of a Titan is the reason they were allowed to start wearing army fatigues instead of the whole ancient Greek armour on occasion)

- Ethan appreciates Al’s enthusiasm but he also kinda doesn’t get it. And he definitely doesn't do that “yeah you’re right I DO look good” thing because he just doesn’t know how. He’d always been a little self-conscious about getting a big head but then he found out about Nemesis and hubris and all that fun stuff, looked at his meager pile of self worth and said “ yep, this has to go”

- Al almost starts crying when he finds out and pretty much makes it mission to be such a good hype man that Ethan has no choice but to think of himself as a Pretty Cool Dude via absorbing the hype through diffusion. It kinda starts working but then Ethan [REDACTED] in tlo so we’ll never know what could’ve been.

- To nick a hc from someone ( hi @chromarozee-spam) contrary to his taste in clothes Ethan does ballet (he was a punk AND did ballet, what more can I say?) and while Al tries to support his hobbies he is genuinely afraid both for and of him. “For” because “holy fuck that looks painful are you okay?”. And “of” because “are you sure those are bones inside you because I don’t think bones are supposed do that?!”.

- Ethan tries to assure him that no his spine is not made of rubber, broken bones or otherworldly materials so can he stop bothering him during practice please?

- This does not stop Al from making a million protection wards and constantly asking his deck if Ethan is indeed a Being of this Good Green Earth.

- Eventually his cards pretty much just tell him that he is friends with one bendy heck of a boi and he needs to fucking get over it so he kinda just,, ,,,,, , does.

- Again with the hc thieving (this time from @altorringtons) Al learning to use a two-handed broadsword so he can guard Ethan’s blind side and back in a fight *soft noises* just them trying so hard to keep each other alive because they love each other and they care about each other!

- They also sleep in the same bed whenever they get the chance (fully clothed ya nasties, they’re kids) and they just hug each other soooo tight because they just need to know they’re alright cos they always get pretty banged up in fights against campers or just monsters that are too much like wild animals to recruit. (What? Me? Projecting my desire to be intimately held by the closest person I have to family with their arms wrapped not tight enough to make me uncomfortable but tight enough to make me feel loved? Never! What on earth are you talking about?)

- Because Al is super stubborn and prideful whenever they have an argument Al can’t really bring himself to say he’s sorry so when he’s ready to apologise he just climbs into bed on Ethan’s blind side and cuddles him because he knows Ethan is super worried about getting attacked on his blind side so it’s like he has a guard or a shield.

- Ethan on the other hand just calls him a Rock Boy in a derogatory way until he gets over himself and apologizes but he really does love the fact that Al knows that about him and accommodates that.

- The thing they fight about most is how “heroic” the titan army is. Kronos’ brainwashing worked on Al like a charm and he fully believes that they are the rebellion and camp is the empire. Ethan on the other hand wasn’t at camp long enough for Kronos or Luke to really do anything but it doesn’t matter because Ethan really doesn’t give a shit if he’s on the “evil side” cos he just wants respect and he’s willing to do what it takes without a second thought of how people see him. If he thinks he’s doing the right thing but on the wrong side he can live with that but Al needs to feel like all of his side is on the moral high ground because that’s what Kronos drilled into his brain.

- Ethan knows that Al delusional when it comes to the non-existent heroics of the army but eventually he just decides to let Al believe the titans lies because that’s easier for him even if it hurts Ethan to see him being manipulated like that.

- Due to Ethan not giving a shit on the humanity of his bosses he gets punished a lot more often and a lot more violently than Al because they know that Ethan already knows they don’t care about him so they don’t have to sugar coat him but Al still believes that they’re heroes and his mindset needs to stay like that to keep him obedient.

- Also because I am  a Cruel Person By Nature I hc Ethan’s mortal family (which usually just consists of his dad) as meeting a not very pg13 end at the hands of a monster who wanted to nible on Ethan a tad which pretty much scarred him for life.

- SO, at the end of the battle of Man Hats Are In when Al looks around and sees that his whole family (that joined the titans) are dead! oh no! How sad! At least he knows someone whose been through the same thing so they understand each other and can help each other through this tough time together right? SIKE!

- so yeah Al learns Ethan d-worded in the worst possible way at the worst possible time and just looses it from grief. Loosing his family was bad enough but finding out he lost the one person he thought he would be able to confide in and heal with immediately after just really rubs salt in the wound.

- When the survivors start re-grouping to find someplace to hide until the gods forget about them Al just wanders off because it’s all he can do to not break down on the spot.

- He’s just wandering in a daze for a while and most people just assume he’s high but he snaps out of it and gets into anger mode when Lamia starts attacking him because he finally has something to do and occupy himself with even though it’s hard not to think about his sibling especially when Lamia keeps talking like they never would have died if she’d been in charge which is why she should totally just kill him and lead their siblings instead.

- His desire to have something to keep his mind off his family and Ethan is the first thing he thinks about when Claymore re-alives and immediately starts talking about doing research (yeah because that’s what you need after a long stressful day of fighting monsters and literally dying).

- Ethan keeps trying to cross the veil and help, even if he just sends Al a pleasant dream to help him sleep but contrary to what you might think from the name, the veil is really hard to cross so Ethan just has to bite his nails and watch his friend suffer.

- It gets easier to watch after Al and Claymore pretty much adopt each other because at least he has someone but they do still get into pretty scary situations.

- When they were both premortem they got paired up for a lot of missions for the titan army and they usually just tried to pretend they were on a fun road trip around America when they could and make fun of mortal shit together.

- At one point they were in a motel and the last people accidentally left behind one of Claymore’s books about death and they found it the funniest thing ever. Between a pair of in which one of their mum’s regularly goes to the underworld and one has been there himself they find mortal ideas of the afterlife to be very amusing.

- Alabaster has decided he would not like to share this with the class (Claymore) thank you very much.

- Also when they’re doing their road tripping Ethan knows all the best places to crash, the cheapest food places and the local gangs don’t bother them because between running away from camp and joining the army he just wandered around a lot.

- Like he’d just hop on a random train, take a nap and figure it out when he wakes up; he made a lot of friends this way too as well as his taste in clothes cos he didn’t have a lot of money so he’d just DIY some second hand punk shit. Al thinks he’s the Gandalf of the demigod world because he just knows everyone who might help them and everywhere they could spend the night. He definitely tells his siblings about Ethan being the closest thing they have to a wandering wizard and they fucking love it.

- Also because Nemesis tends to not have a lot of kids Ethan was the only one of hers in the army and Al felt really bad for him because his sibling were his favourite part about the army so he tried to include Ethan in as much as possible with his siblings.

- As an unexpected result Ethan ended up with a small army of super powered children to sick on the people who keep making jabs about him loosing in the arena battle.

- Al sometimes thinks he’s given him too much power but also he will fuck a bitch up if they make fun of his pals so he sees where his siblings are coming from and yeah those bitches had it coming. He also has a copy of bitchcraft.

- Ethan’s dad was the type to play “Stay With Me” by Miki Matsubara on repeat for hours and Ethan would probably enjoy the song but he’s heard it so often that now it makes his ears bleed and Al sometimes tortures him with for fun until Ethan starts throwing shit.

- To steal another hc from @chromarozee-spam Ethan has a thing for cats and one time Al accidentally gave himself mistform cat-ears and Ethan could not stop touching them. Ethan was just craning his head back uncontrollably grinning so much his face hurt. Al can’t bring himself to be upset because Ethan rarely ever smiles since he joined the army.

- Al saw Ethan crying over one of those video’s where people put their hoodies on backwards and put their cat in the hood so he made a mist cat and bought him a hoodie. Ethan of course started crying again but it was happy tears instead.

- Ethan is fucking tiny while Al is almost a foot taller than him. He wouldn’t mind so much if Al didn’t exhaust every opportunity to rub it in his face so he just starts climbing all over shit (especially tall buildings) half to give Al heart attacks and half so he can be like “Sorry? What was that? I’m so high up I can’t hear you. Can you speak up a little? Maybe get a ladder? Or taller?”

- Also I don’t know why but I hc Al as Texan. Ethan gets told about this “Alabaster C. Torrington” guy who knows latin, incantations and other magical knowledge and expects some fancy British guy so when they meet and Al speaks Ethan gets whiplash so hard he fuckin chokes.

- Al is also very casual and Ethan is pretty professional so when he meets this magic general with a straight back and the first thing that comes out of this assholes mouth is some “Howdy y’all!!” bullshit he just dies on the spot.

- Also because Al is texan he is very sensitive to the cold (I’m about 80% sure that Texas is one of the Warm states) so when he has to do stuff in cold places like the labyrinth or new york (idk about that one to but in every film I’ve seen that’s set in NY it’s raining for about 90% of the time) he complains about being freezing all the time until Ethan helpfully reminds him that he can literally make fire out of nothing, surely he can find a way to warm himself up.

- Ethan is also sensitive to the cold because he’s basically malnourished but he’s been like that for a while and thinks it’s normal so he sucks it up until Al notices he’s always cold. Ethan tells him it’s fine but Al is basically a walking electric blanket so whenever Al cuddles him to keep him warm Ethan can’t help but melt because he’s so fucking warm and soft and have you noticed I crave intimacy?

- Ethan started studying Greek myths vigorously since he found out he was a demigod and when he died he kept an eye and an ear out for Al because even though he wouldn’t be able to do anything it still reassures him to know what’s going on, HOWEVER, he was almost filled with enough malice to rip through the barrier between the living and the dead purely to beat an ass when he hears Al’s little “I don’t bother reading about worthless monsters like you!” jab.

- Ethan is very jumpy and fidgety to the point where Al is genuinely concerned and while Ethan assures Al that nothing’s wrong Al is still suspicious. Ethan probably would have told Al about it if it was because of anything but Kronos but seeing that it mostly is, he doesn’t because Ethan feels like Al will just take Kronos’ word over his and he’ll loose the only person he trusts in the army.

- Al doesn’t find out about it until way after the war when Kronos’ brainwashing starts to come undone because by then his mindset is a lot less biased in the titans favour so he can see things that he just unconsciously ignored before and is able to put two and two together. When he does boy is it a trip.

- Ethan is really bad at talking about feelings and stuff so whenever Al gets upset over something and Ethan has no idea how to talk to him he’ll just get him some rocks. One time Ethan found out about those heart shaped valentine boxes that are normally filled with chocolates but people put crystals in them and that just became his go-to for when Al was especially upset. 

- Al is only slightly better at talking about stuff but he can still get Ethan to open up to him which is good because Ethan isn’t very materialistic so it’s hard to make him feel better by buying him things and because someone needs to get Ethan to express himself in an emotionally healthy way.

- Also because of this they just can’t tell each other they love each other. Like they’ll barely whisper it when the other is asleep because they’re just so bad at talking about feelings. It wasn’t that much of an issue until after the war and Ethan gets k-worded and Al is left alone and sobbing over all the times he never told his loved ones how much they meant to him.

- But because this is a headcanon list; fuck that, Al saved Ethan with some sort of magic bullshit and they talk about how much they love each other all the time now because they can’t stand the thought of one of them dying having never been told how much they are loved.

[ittybittywordsmith]

Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story

August 2nd, 2014 — the 43rd anniversary of the death of Leon Reynolds.

This day was always the hardest. Even as it had gotten easier, even as time had done its sacred duty and healed her wounds, it was still the hardest day of the whole year. Aurora preferred to take the day to herself. Her children would have accompanied her, if she had allowed it — Circe knew that they, perhaps even more so that herself, deserved that right, but they respected their mother's wishes for peace and tranquility. Sometimes others would be there when she arrived, or would join her shortly after, but over the years, they had all dropped away quietly. All but one. But today — today Aurora could see no one waiting for her. That was fine. Some conversations were best had in private, were they not? The August air was warm as Aurora walked through the grounds of Elysium, the light breeze whistling softly through the lush green grass that surrounded tombstones and grave markers. Elysium was a beautiful place, for a cemetery. It wasn't where Aurora would have wanted her husband to be buried, but Leon had been an American hero as well as a wizarding spy, and it turned out national security still took priority in her husband's life, even after death. It took her several minutes of walking by names that had grown so familiar to her over the years, she could recite them off the tip of her tongue without ever having seen the faces they belonged to. Men and women who all died around the same time, who all gave their lives and sometimes their deaths for their people and their countries. Aurora had never learned their stories. She didn't need to. They each had their own to mourn them, after all, and she'd had her fill of tragedy without adopting theirs. So Aurora continued to walk, until she found the headstone she'd been visiting for more years than she'd even been married.

Leon Reynolds. December 9th, 1937 - August 2nd, 1971. Beloved friend, husband, and father. A hero to us all. A sigh escaped Aurora's lips — the same sigh she had been carrying around in her chest for the last forty-three years, it felt like — and she folded her hands across her abdomen. "Hello, darling. I know it's been awhile. . ." 

When Aurora was twelve, she met Leon Reynolds for the first time, in a tussle with her eldest brother on the streets outside her family estate. Leon was a strange boy — grubby and skinny, with a touch of wildness about him that called to something deeper inside her. Aurora chased off her brother before he could do too much damage to this strange wild boy, and together, they ran so fast that Aurora thought her feet might very well lift right off the ground without the help of a broom at all. And just like that, he became her strange wild boy, and if her brother ever wanted to knock him to the ground again, he had to go through her. 

"The children are doing well. I knew you'd want to know." Aurora spoke conversationally as she pulled the bouquet of dying flowers from the vase that had been sitting in front of her husband's gravestone for more than a decade now. The flowers had once been lovely, with large white petals — daisies, perhaps, although she didn't have an intimate enough knowledge of flowers to be certain — but they had wilted long ago, the petals beginning to curl into a dry and dismal brown. Aurora had no idea who had brought them here. Not herself, she was reasonably certain, but it could have easily been Celeste or Castor, or any of the number of random individuals she'd met throughout the years that had attributed their lives or their loved ones' lives to some action or another of Leon Reynolds. Aurora had never tried to keep track of them — the grief had been hard enough, back then, without the reminder that there were absolute strangers who knew more about that part of her husband's life than she did. "Celeste is still drawing star charts, though I find myself wondering if she will give it up any day now. New Orleans was a good place for her to settle — bright and vivacious, just like her, and just like you, really — but now that the children are all readying to leave the nest, I can see her growing antsy." Aurora twirled her wand around the vase, conjuring a new bouquet of deep red roses yet to bloom. She gave the flowers a tap, and a charm to extend their limited shelf life shimmered over the petals. It was a tidy bit of spellwork — if there was anything Aurora had learned by spending half her life in a school, it was how to keep her magic tidy. "If that husband of hers isn't careful, she'll drag him out to Timbuktu before he even knows what hit him." Aurora pulled a cloth from within her robes and began to wipe the dust from the vase. "Meanwhile Castor has thrown himself into his astrolabes. He seems to think he's on the verge of developing a new model that will nearly double how far we can project accurate astrological readings. I swear, that boy sends me a new letter about it twice a week. He's considering seeking a new patent for it." Aurora clicked her tongue and shook her head as she adjusted the vase, centering it against the headstone. She tilted her head just slightly for a moment, considering, before she gave a small, self-satisfied smile. "Still — our son, the inventor of a new and improved way to read our universe? Wouldn't that be something." 

When Aurora was fifteen, she was in love with Leon Reynolds. Despite being two years older, that Reynolds boy was as good as Aurora's shadow, or so whispered the teachers at school. Aurora didn't mind. Leon still had a wildness to him, and being near it reminded Aurora that there was more to her than star charts and ink stains and her mother's expectations. Her greatest fear was June, when he would leave her behind in these cold stone walls forever, whatever he promised about summers and letters to be sent. But no matter how slow time seems, it never stops, and the day came and went. Aurora kissed him after he crossed the graduation stage before she let him go. A few days later she returned to her home estate and waited on the humid streets just outside, but her strange wild boy didn't come back that day, or for a very long time. 

"The grandchildren are all growing like weeds — I'm sure you're not surprised, but still, it manages to catch me off guard all the time, and I see them more often than most grandmothers can claim, I think." Aurora had moved on to dusting the headstone herself. There was no need, really — either magically or otherwise, Elysium was well maintained, gravestones included — but still, it made Aurora feel better. Like there was something she could still do for her late husband. "You would be proud. Little Fae is busy working for Spirito Santo. Jeanne Marie is off putting her chaotic energy to professional use — much to Celeste's relief. I thought maybe she'd worry herself into an ulcer there for a little while. You'd think she'd have more sympathy now for how difficult it was when she was a teenager, but Celeste doesn't seem to enjoy the irony." Aurora smiled to herself as she brushed away a fallen leaf from a corner of the headstone. "Then again, I remember you used to get a little surly too, whenever I was right. And she certainly is your daughter." It was almost funny, how personality traits like that could manifest on their own. Celeste was her father's daughter, and Castor his father's son, but between them they could hardly manage a single coherent memory of Leon Reynolds. "Castor's twins graduated school this year. Calypso's ready to go out and grab the world by the horns — clever as the devil and twice as pretty, that one is. She looks so much like my mother, have I ever told you that? And Cassiopeia is going into professional quodpot. Do you remember the fights that you and Orion used to get into? You swore up and down that quodpot was the world's most useless sport — but oh, darling, how you would change your tune if you could see your granddaughter in the sky now. She's a natural — that part, at least, I'm certain she didn't get from you." Aurora sighed again, and pulled away from the headstone. It was perfectly clean now — had been clean in the first place, if that were something she was willing to admit, but now there wasn't anything Aurora could even pretend to tidy. "The others are still in school. Auriga, and Lucian, and Aquila. Even little Fox will start in a week or two. But before you know it, I'll be here again in a blink of the eye, telling you about how they're all making their way into the world themselves, young and proud and full of life. Like you and I did, not so long ago. Time is funny that way, isn't it?" 

When Aurora was eighteen, she found Leon Reynolds mulling around the streets outside her family estate, casual as sin and waiting for her like it was just any other summer day from their childhood. Like there hadn’t been almost four years of absence, of grief and yearning and silence between them. Aurora had slapped him, quick and hard as she could manage, a burst of wildness that had suddenly returned to her after vanishing without a trace more than three years ago. She’d pushed him away — and then just as quickly, pulled him back, wanting nothing more than for her strange wild boy to make up for the years he should have spent touching her. 

"They would have come, if they could. Celeste and Castor, perhaps even the grandchildren, if someone had asked them. If I had asked. But I didn't. I hope you'll forgive me." Aurora closed her tired eyes and took a deep breath. This was always the most difficult part — when she ran out of things to do, of things to distract her from the fact that she was standing in front of her husband's grave. In other years, she would have taken her leave at this point — but not this year. She still had more to say. "I don't quite know when I got this old," Aurora admitted to the headstone, the echo of a mirthless laugh in her voice. "Castor and Celeste have started to worry when I do things on my own — have started to worry, even, of my living in the school, as if I didn't have an entire army of house elves at my beck and call. And for this — I thought Castor was going to insist on accompanying me, really, but I suspect his wife talked him out of it. Perhaps that is selfish of me, not to bring your children here to see you. But they know where you are, and how to get here, and are perfectly competent in doing so on their own, I imagine. And you and I — well, they say parents need to take time to themselves too, don't they?" It wasn't a funny remark, not even to Aurora, but if Leon were actually here, and not merely a stone in the ground, she knew he would have smiled. "Mostly, I wanted to speak to you in private. To say the things that I have only been saying to myself for the past several years. I know you can't answer — I am not so aged out of my own wits as to expect a talking headstone — but. . . you can still listen. After everything you put me through, Leon Reynolds, you owe me this much." 

When Aurora was twenty-two, her younger brother died. Little Altair, who in truth hadn’t been any smaller than Aurora herself, and only two years her junior. But he had always been clever, far too clever for his own good. His own cleverness had been his downfall — it had led to overachievement, and then to boredom, and then to experimentation. As it turned out, drugs didn’t care about cleverness, and in the end, the overdose won out. Aurora stood alone at the funeral while her elder brother supported their mother, and when Leon Reynolds showed up late to the wake, he hadn’t tried to stop her from yelling or shoving or crying. He simply waited until she wore herself out, and then offered her an escape — to run away with him, to marry him, to live with him in New York where the rest of his new life was waiting. Aurora loved her family and her home, but it was broken now, and maybe she loved her strange wild boy more, so she went. 

"Did you know?" The breeze picked up into a short gust at her question, like the air itself could sense her agitation. Aurora didn't even know exactly what she was asking. Had Leon known — what, exactly? That he had sired a child on some nameless woman on another continent? That his child would one day go on to wreak the worst destruction magical America had seen in decades? That Aurora would one day be summoned to the presence of the Director of Magical Security and asked with pitying eyes whether she could identify her husband as the father of another woman's child? She shook with her rage and indignation, but closed her eyes, taking a deep, steadying breath. Her anger wasn't the point here. "Would you have told me, if you'd had the chance? I can't imagine you had the opportunity. They say he's a little younger than Castor, and when you left, Castor wasn't — well, I suppose that hardly matters. Because I don't think you would have told me. You never wanted to tell me things, when they were hard. You always ran away when things were difficult, and blamed it on your job, your unknowable life that I could never be a part of, and I always took you back. Did you think I wouldn't have taken you back after this? You were probably right, but that doesn't make you any less of a Circe-fucked coward over it." Aurora bit down hard on her lip and looked away, trying to reign in her anger. It took her several long seconds before she could continue in a more controlled voice. "I didn't tell them." Castor and Celeste, she'd meant, and the grandchildren in turn. Hadn't told them about their father's betrayal, about Scott James sliding a picture before her and explaining that the man who had just struck such a blow against their nation had come about as part of her husband's infidelity. "How could I tell them? I raised them to idolize you, damn you. I told them you were a hero. And what's worse, I believed it. I let it dictate my life. The impossible standard of Leon Reynolds, war hero. Martyr. Love of my life. And now what have you left me with in my final days? Leon Reynolds, traitor. Adulterer. Liar." Aurora spat the words, feeling her rage draw tears to her eyes, but she didn't dare cry. She had never cried when she and Leon fought — only after he was gone, and had left her to pick up the pieces of her life alone, as she always did. "And of course, in a true coward's fashion, you went and died, and don't even have to deal with the consequences of this mess you've made. Damn you." 

When Aurora was twenty-nine, she and Leon had a fight that would haunt her for the rest of her life. She had always hated this career of his, no matter what Leon preached about truth and justice and serving his country. She loathed this agency that had swept her strange wild boy away from her before he’d taken more than two steps from the graduation stage, that continued to take him away from her night after night, week after week. The nights when he returned home to her were the easiest — all she could remember was how she loved him, how she missed him, how to get lost in him, and after Celeste, the sounds of him murmuring stories in the dark as he tucked her into bed filled Aurora with a contentment that felt like it would never fade. But inevitably the nights when he would leave would come — those were the hardest. The incessant tapping of the owl at the window, and the feeling inside her heart as she watched him walk away into the night. Once, she fought back and asked him to stay — for her, for their daughter, for their growing family. The back and forth grew so loud, Aurora thought it would wake Celeste, and by the time the man who had once been her cherished strange wild boy strode into the night, she was not sorry to see him go, and not sorry that she didn’t tell him about the subtle swell of her belly. 

"But do you know what I think I'm most angry about, Leon?" Aurora had grown quiet in her words, so intent was she on this lifeless gray headstone before her. A flock of hippogriffs could have begun mating rituals just behind her, and she wouldn't have noticed. No, she needed to have it out between her and her husband — even if he did quite conveniently happen to be dead. "If we put the lying, and the cheating, and the fact that you apparently fathered a mass murderer aside — I think what I'm most angry about is that you never did live up to your promise. Do you remember it, darling? I was standing in a cemetery just like this, after Altair. . . and you said that we could make a life worth living together. But we didn't, did we? I made it. We made Celeste, and Castor, but you were never there for them. You were never there for me. All those promises, and what did you ever give me? A lonely house, a cold bed, and an ugly headstone." How many years had Aurora wanted to say such an unthinkable thing out loud? All those years she had let those thoughts fester with the guilt inside of her. Not anymore. Not after this. Leon Reynolds, Circe rest his soul, did not deserve her guilt. "I love you," Aurora Belmont Reynolds whispered into the warm August air. "And I miss you. But the thing is, my darling — I missed you before you were dead." 

When Aurora was thirty, an unfamiliar man showed up at her door and brought news that shattered her world. Her strange wild boy was dead in some strange wild land across a sea, and he would never return to her arms again. Their last words were argumentative, and mean, and full of hurt — but how could they have known it to be their last fight, their last conversation, their last chance to embrace, slipping through their fingers? Knowledge was power, they said, but what power could there be in knowledge that arrived too late? It took Aurora days upon weeks upon months to come to terms with the reality — that Leon would never be more than a figment of their daughter's memory, and a stranger to their son. It was cruel, and unfair, and all Aurora had left of the strange wild boy she'd loved all her life. It may have been Leon's story, but it was Aurora's to tell. 

Tell his story she had — except she hadn't known quite all of it, had she? She hadn't known the full truth of the man she had always considered the love of her life. But she did now, and she had questions. And if she was being honest, it wasn't Leon she had come here to speak with.

[khadij-al-kubra]

Persephone & Hades AU...

For your consideration, and bearing in mind that the original myth is not really all that toxic at all and is not a show of Stockholm syndrome...

The “””Kidnapping””” of Persephone:

Logan as Hades-

Bespectacled Ruler of the Underworld

Takes his job very seriously (wears a black and blue necktie with his long silky black robes)

Cold pale skin and intelligent grey eyes with slicked back black hair. Looks scarier and meaner than he actually is. (although he can have a bit of a temper if pushed and will have loud sharp outbursts of “FALSEHOOD!”)

Very logical and methodical in how he rules the underworld and keeps the souls passing through organized. Like he’s got the judgement thing down to a T! But despite his cold demeanor he’s actually very generous and kind at heart. He just recognizes the importance of his work and in remaining just yet impartial

Sucker for dogs, hence why he has a three headed one. He just wishes he had more time to play with Cerberus, but alas ruling the dead alone takes up a lot of ones time.

Has a sweet tooth and often indulges in jams made from the pomegranates that grow in his realm.

Is on decent enough relations with his brothers (Emile as Poseidon and Deceit as Zeus), although he STILL thinks that Deceit cheated in their straw draws, but let it go because he’s actually best suited as the more organized brother for ruling the dead.

Is secretly very lonely. Once in a blue moon he’ll sneak up to the surface for fresh air and sunlight. One day he spots a certain someone in a flower field who takes his breath away. (can you blame him, i mean that smile! )

Patton as Persephone-

Supreme flower child! (flowy sky blue clothes, grass green eyes, sun-kissed freckly skin and wheat colored curls, barefoot, flower crown)

Loves gardening, animals, and helping his father Demeter (Roman) with the changing seasons. Loves Roman to bits....He just wishes he wasn’t so overprotective. Like come ON dad, i’m a grown god, i can look after myself. I don’t run off on my own THAT much!

Is protective and loving towards most all forms of life and tries to see the good in each and every soul, both mortal and god/goddess #momfriendtothemax

Unless given reason to feel otherwise. Then...weeeell at the least he’ll give you a stern talking to but at worst...lets just say you DONT want to get on the bad side of someone who can grow massive and sharp thorn bushes and effect earthquakes when pushed too far. XO

Sometimes gets bored with the same old routine with Roman and wishes to get away and see something new from time to time. Maybe have some quiet time to make his own floral crafts and garden peacefully for fun and not work.

Often sneaks off when Roman is busy and goes wandering along dirt paths, sit under or climb a tree, or frolic in the flowers.

Roman as Demeter -

God of the Harvest, but like, EXTRA in all ways shape or form. (”we can top last years crop no problem, MORE WHEAT STALKS!” “No dad, we can’t, then there’ll be too much in this region and not enough for the next.” “LONGER SUMMER!!” “No! Bad idea dad! That’ll throw the seasons off”)

Often dresses in flowing gold threaded and sunset colored robes, but will change ensemble to match the seasons.

Enjoys watching the goings ons of the mortals, they’re just so entertaining! Especially is fond of traveling thespians and will bless the harvest of wherever they perform in.

Loves his son more than anything and has him help in godly duties because it keeps him close so he can keep an eye on Patton MUST KEEP PRECIOUS BAB SAFE!!!

Stubborn (but will never own up to it)

Virgil as Charon-

In charge of Ferrying souls across the River Styx

Doesn’t mind his job all that much but is #done with soooo many of these complaining, noisy and often rude or entitled souls. (like, NO dude, i don’t care who you were ruler of in the living world. Its two coins for passage like everyone else buddy!)

Really just wants a nap (often tries to hit up Remy a.k.a. Morpheus but he shows up late ALL the time)

Is actually very compassionate and gentle. He tries to ease the fears of souls who he sees are younger or were genuinely good in life or died in unfair ways.

Lives for the dark skull & bones aesthetic

Master of snark

Plays chess with Logan when either of them have some rare down time

    Click the cut for full story

One day Roman and Patton are off doing their nature godly duties, and Roman is nagging his son about the proper way to harvest corn. (”Yes father, i know how to do it. you’ve only told me like a hundred times” “well i just want to make sure to remind you and that you don’t cut yourself on the sickle”)

Patton sneaks off one day to pick flowers since it’ll probably be the last bloom before autumn sets. Suddenly he sees a curious crack in the ground and ambles over to it to take a look. (”what sort of creature could’ve made this deep thing?”) He leans in too far however and pulls an Alice in Wonderland.

Turns out that crack was made by Logan. Apparently he’d become so deeply smitten by Patton that he went to his older brother Deceit/Zeus for advice. (Yes he was a dick and a little shit at times-although took his duties seriously when need be-and tricked many of his lovers into bed, but Emile didn’t have nearly as much love experience as their elder brother & Logan was desperate)

Deceit had actually been pleased when his too serious brother told him that he’d fallen for the spring god. His advice to Logan had been to simply kidnap Patton and either bed him then woo him or woo him and then bed him. Logan, of course, didn’t listen because that was the stupidest idea ever! (”what under earth was i thinking? This is the guy who turned himself into a cygnini in order to copulate with a woman behind his wife’s back.”) Besides, he was too painfully shy and socially awkward to try wooing. (He worked with the dead for crying out loud, not the best circumstances for practicing social skills)

He did however create a crack in the ground so he could sneak peeks at Patton from below the earth and admire him from afar. However, he’d been called back on an emergency and forgot to close one particular crack up before leaving again.

So sufficed to say, he was fairly shocked when he suddenly heard screaming above him one day. He looked up to find one Patton falling towards him and just caught him in his arms in time. (BLUSH CITY ON BOTH PARTS)

Patton thanks Logan but is admittedly miffed at him when he learns Logan was the one who’d made that crack in the ground. “What were you thinking leaving a big hole in the earth like that? Some poor oblivious mortal or animal could’ve fallen into it and gotten hurt!” “Apologies I-it was a foolish oversight on my part. i-I certainly hope you are uninjured?”

After a while Patton forgives him when he sees how truly sorry this (admittedly) scary and stern looking god is. (lest we forget he’s one of the big three) And Logan is honestly just trying not to show how flustered he is. i mean Patton is there in his realm! They both realize the crack is far too high up for Patton to get back out through right away. So Logan offers to have Patton stay in his palace until he can fetch his assistant Virgil/Charon to help Patton back up the next day. IN HIS OWN QUARTERS, OF COURSE! Logan says blushing, trying to be a gentleman. Patton agrees, promising upon Logan’s request to only follow one rule: “You must NOT eat anything”. Strange, but okay. Besides, it’ll be nice getting a break from his father. And it’s just for one night, right? (WRONG!)

Patton ends up having to wait longer than he realized because both Logan and Virgil are super busy with ferrying and judging souls. So he wanders around the Underworld. (of course he is marked with untouchable safety from almost everything as a guest of Logan) 

One night however Patton finds himself stumbling upon a sparse garden. He’s surprised that anything is capable of growing down there in the realm of the dead, but even more shocked by the poor state of it. “Really, just look at the se rose bushes. They’re so brittle!” (it’s not Logan’s fault. He’s a busy boi. plus the god of the dead doesn’t exactly have a green thumb) Really the only thing flourishing down there is a single Pomegranate tree. The fruits on it look so red and shiny and juicy and...well...whats the worst that could happen if he eats just a few seeds?

Of course if you know the myth, it means now Patton cant leave. Because, well, greek god realm rules. Sufficed to say, Patton is pretty miffed that Logan hadn’t thought to tell him why he shouldn’t eat the darn fruit in the first place. Logan is greatly frustrated at Patton because a) he didn’t listen, and b) he actually has a point there and he does NOT like being wrong. Still, nothing to be done about it now.

Over time they cool off and apologize to each other. Patton’s still kind of mad though because now he can’t go home at all if he wanted too, but he recognizes that Logan wasn’t forcing him to stay on purpose. So he get’s over it and tries to make the best out of the situation. At least he can finally get away from Roman’s nagging for a while. 

* Meanwhile in the living world, a frantic and angry Roman raises hell. “WHERE IS MY BOOOOYYYYY?!?!?!?!?!?!?” (Thebes did not have a good crop that year)

While in the Underworld Patton starts talking to some souls, listening to their stories and offering kind and comforting words. Which as it turns out makes them more at ease and willing to go for judgement as they pass on. Logan’s fondness for Patton grows as he witnesses these acts of compassion and kindness. He also comes to respect Patton when he sees just how fierce he can be in the face of those who’d been cruel or unjust in life. ”I’m sorry, you did what to how many people!? and NOW you’ve got the nerve to demand entrance into Elysium young man!? Logan, hold my flower.” “Fret not Patton. I have your bougainvillea.”     (art link for this scene)

Meanwhile Patton cant help but notice that, although he’s stern and serious on the outside, Logan is actually a very gentle god deep down. (he picks up on this from the soft tone of Logan’s voice as he speaks to souls being judged who’d suffered in life, or the way he reassures the more anxious ones with facts and logic about the afterlife that set them at eases “it’s not all punishment and Tartarus you know. Statistically few souls on the grand scale are malign enough to enter there. The Asphodel Meadows are quite pleasant, I assure you.”)

Logan works so hard and tirelessly at his often depressing job, but never acts mean or harsh unless a soul is nasty or rude or was truly evil, and Patton gains an admiration of him for that. (besides, he is actually quite handsome and beautiful in a cold distant way, like the stars and moonlight on a midsummers night) Patton also sees what a softie Logan can be when he’s playing with Cerberus. (”Who’s my excellent tri-headed canine? Who is a good demon dog?”) Patton gushes and of course Cerberus and Patton LOVE each other. Watching Patton play with the big dog becomes Logan’s newest favorite thing. (”By the gods Virgil, it is too precious to process!”) 

Sometimes Patton will keep Logan company when there’s a lull in souls. He’ll tell Logan about all the different places he’s seen and what mortals are like when still alive. Logan meanwhile will often go into rants about the fascinating bits of knowledge he’s accumulated over the years from souls who’ve lived full lives. Logan enjoys having someone who enjoys listening to him (not that Virgil isn’t a respectful listener, but Logan sometimes wonders if he only does is because he’s his boss) And Patton really likes being able to share his own opinions and ideas without condescendingly albeit gently being told, (“no, no, my silly sweet boy. This is the right way to do it. Now eat your cereal, you need the fiber sweet pea”) Having picked up some of the mortal’s sense of humor, Patton is very much a fan of word play and LOVES making puns. Logan is...less than amused by them. However, the first time he makes Patton laugh with a clever quip (about Virgil or one of the more disgruntled souls) he swore the whole Underworld actually lit up. He treasures every time he can make that precious god laugh and smile.

Heck, even Virgil warms up to Patton and actually becomes VERY protective of the spring god. Patton sees through to his anxious softie center and enjoys talking to Virgil who is a very good listener. Meanwhile Virgil finds Patton’s sunny disposition refreshing and his warm presence calming. Patton will often keep Virgil company, but can’t always bring himself to follow when he has to ride across the River Styx. The memories and voices coming off the water just make him too sad.

Virgil ends up playing wingman for Logan. He tells Logan how Patton’s been a bit down in the dumps and recommends Logan cheer him up with a present. “That is an excellent idea Virgil, but what? What could possibly be good enough for that sweet honeysuckle?” “Well you’ve spied on him enough times- and don’t try to deny it boss- what does he like?” 

Sufficed to say, Patton LOVES his surprise underworld garden that Logan had worker rigorously on creating for him. He knows it couldn’t have been easy. Of course, being the god of the dead, Logan cannot maintain the garden and Patton is more than happy to have free creative reign over it. He giddily catches Logan in a big hug, and is pleased when a blushing Logan returns the heartfelt embrace, pressing a tender kiss to Patton’s forehead. Then he takes a blushing Patton’s hands in his.

”Patton, my honeysuckle, sunshine of my heart...I cannot contain it any longer. For so long you’ve been the object of my affection, but over the course of our time together down here, although the circumstances had been less than idea, my love for you has only deepened. Would you perhaps...although I am not worthy of you...would you consider marrying me, and ruling the Underworld by my side?” By now Patton is blushing like crazy and in tears because, although he’d been mad at Logan for getting him stuck down there at first, he realizes that he’s come to deeply love the dark god too. Logan worries that he’s crossed a line but then Patton beams and looks up at him with tears in his eyes. “Oh Lo-lo, my brilliant beautiful lobelia blossom, I-” BAM!

Cue a properly pissed off Roman crashing down to the Underworld. He’s also got Deceit/Zeus with him by the ear. “AHA! So THIS is where you’ve been keeping my precious boy!” “Deceit, you told him!?” “He got it out of me. Sorry, not Sorry. I may be the ruler of the gods, but Roman is quite -ow- convincing when angry.”

Roman rushes over to Patton and they embrace, because although it was nice having time to himself Patton did miss his beloved father. After Roman fusses over Patton-“Are you alright? Are you hurt? have you been eating properly?” “yes, yes, i’m fine father. I promise!”- Roman unleashes verbal hell on, well, the god of hell. He reprimands Logan for kidnapping his son, but Patton quickly comes to Logan’s defense saying that it wasn’t his fault and the whole thing had been an accident, not a kidnapping. When he hears the whole story Roman does calm down a bit, and is admittedly happy to see Patton so happily in love as well. (he may be a helicopter parent, but the god of the harvest is quite the romantic at heart and loves seeing Patton so happy. Even if he doesn’t think the doom and gloom Logan is good enough for his precious little sunflower) 

But upon finding out about the pomegranate sees he practically begs Logan to release him so that Patton can come back to the land of the living with him. (besides, he does still need him to help with the seasons and crops) Logan apologizes, saying it’s impossible and there’s nothing he can do. He just doesn’t have that kind of power. Then all three hear Deceit clear his throat.

“Ahem. God of gods speaking, and if you’re all done blubbering, i may have a solution.” So he tells them that there may be a loophole he can work around. He’ll give Logan his blessing to marry Patton, who will also be allowed to go back upworld with Roman, but on the condition that Patton spends part of the year co-ruling the Underworld. He tells them that for the number of pomegranate seeds that Patton ate, he’ll be obligated to spend a month with Logan. “Well darling, how many seeds did you eat?” They all look at Patton expectantly. Technically Patton only at 3 seeds, but heckitty heck, he really wants more time with Logan than three months. And frankly, he enjoyed the idea of getting some time away from Roman too, bless him but he cannot face so much nagging again! 

He lies and says six. Only six seeds. Because it’s not like anyone was there to see him or could know. Weeeell maybe the all seeing god of gods, but Deceit just winks and smirks at Patton, pressing a finger in secrecy to his lips behind Logan and Roman’s backs. So it’s agreed that Patton will spend the summer and spring half of the year in the Living world with Roman and the fall and winter half ruling the Underworld with Logan.

Before he goes back up with Roman though, Patton and Logan are wed. It’s Logan’s first and only time back to Olympus (he forgot how bright and noisy it was up there!) and all the greek gods and goddesses bear witness to their union. Even Virgil is granted a short vacation to be the witness of honor for his two favorite immortals. As it turns out the months apart end up being good for Roman as well as Patton. He gets a lot more work done now that he isn’t constantly fretting (actively anyways) over Patton or keeping him out of trouble or from wandering. 

When they consummate their marriage for the first time, hoooboi! Logan’s so bashful but respectful (never having been with any other being before, mortal or immortal) and Patton thinks its adorably sweet. Having been topside, well, lets just say Patton snuck off every now and then when he could to “frolic” with a few naiads and mortals he found sweet or lovely. So he ends up being a thorough teacher to Logan. Turns out they’re quite compatible in more ways than one ;)

Patton ends up being a fantastic co-king of the underworld. Heck, he’s even incorporated the new job into his aesthetic (he always wears a crown of flowers and bird skulls in the Underworld) and, as it turns out, can be even scarier than Logan! Only when some foolish soul makes him mad or gets on his bad side. So none do. And with the souls being more behaved it takes the pressure off of Virgil and Logan a LOT. But for the most part Patton remains a sweet, kind and benevolent co-ruler to the dead souls, and balances out Logan’s stricter judgements quite well. Logan now has a bit more breather time to read and play with Cerberus since he’s not the only one in charge of the whole Underworld anymore. And he and Patton LOVE spending time together in Patton’s dark yet flourishing underworld garden! 

Patton is always so happy to go back to the Living world with Roman when winter’s over. Of course he hates leaving Logan and misses him. Logan doesn’t do a very good job of hiding his sadness and tears, but understands. He does get a bit clingy their last nights though. (he becomes a kissy snuggly fiend)  Virgil always promises Patton that he’ll take care of Logan while he’s gone. But Patton is a child of the earth and he does tend to miss the sunshine and his father. So he get’s back to work with a newfound exuberance, making the flowers grow, spending time with Roman and frolicking about the world. He always does his best to bring back a new scroll or star map for Logan, who treasures every gift and is slowly building a library for himself.

Sufficed to say, the decades pass by, Logan and Patton attentively fulfill their godly duties, and remain happily and devotedly in love with one another.

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[flightfoot]

Continuation of discussion on Olympian Pain Ch.4

flightfoot

Yeah, I noticed that you actually said Tartarus after I wrote that.  …Honestly I think that Zeus being tossed to earth and having to take Apollo’s place on his quest would probably be a better punishment, but in his case, he’d probably be left there until he dies. I really like the idea of Zeus having his own redemption arc where he has to live out three mortal lifespans as a demigod with no memory of who he really is, and achieve Elysium each time. I’d like that even if Apollo doesn’t die or get dissolved, actually.

I’ve had this little imagining in my head for awhile where Apollo dies fighting Python while protecting Meg, and his godly essence nearly sputters out, but Meg manages to get ahold of it unknowingly as he’s dying (kinda like how gods can possess godlings in the Kane Chronicles). Zeus transports Meg up to Olympus, blames her for Apollo’s death (because someone has to take the blame, and you know it won’t be Zeus), and she just TEARS him a new one… and then he incinerates her. The other demigods who were present at the battle and were also called to Olympus immediately start attacking Zeus, and their godly parents help. Meg manages to bring herself back as the god redemption and rebirth (she’s got dryads in California who seem to worship her, that might be enough to obtain godhood. Plus she has Apollo’s essence still with her, and there’s no WAY she’d let him be disintegrated completely) and is able to bring Apollo back with her. He’d probably be a baby though, since those reincarnated dryads still started out as saplings. Plus his essence was almost completely gone, it would take a while to recover from that. She dishes out her punishment: Zeus would be reborn three times on earth as a demigod, with no knowledge of who he is and only with the powers a demigod of his parentage would be expected to have. Meg would be the only one who would know when and who he’d been reborn as, to keep things fair. Upon his third death, the council would reconvene and decide whether to give him his powers back.

In this little idea I had, Apollo would become Camp director for Camp Half-blood once he had recovered, so he’d know Zeus well in each of his lives… especially his last one, where he’d be reborn as Apollo’s son. Apollo would bond with Zeus closely, like he would with his other children, and would confess that Meg had told him that Zeus was on his last lifetime. He’d talk about how nervous he was about facing his father again, how he used to punish Apollo brutally and blame it on his lightning bolt, of how Zeus reminded him of both Nero and Caligula, and how furious and scared he was when he learned that Zeus had vaporized Meg. Zeus (in mortal form with amnesia of his true identity) would be furious at Zeus for inflicting such pain on Apollo, and shout about how he would fight against Zeus if he tried to hurt Apollo, even if it meant his own death - which Apollo isn’t happy about, but Zeus is stubborn regardless of form. Then he dies and remembers that HE’S the one who committed all those wrongs.

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authorgirl1111

If it helps I’ve thought it a ridiculous amount of times about Apollo succeeding Zeus as king.

I have a story both on tumblr, DeviantArt and A03 about what could happen the final chapter of if the final book in the TOA series and in it, a new prophecy is uttered that basically says that Zeus is going to be kicked off the throne. I wrote an essay on why I think Apollo would succeed Zeus as king. (It’s not that good. I published it but it’s not that good.)

I think there’s a story (not finished) on this sight, About Zeus becoming human except he doesn’t have amnesia.

“I’ve had this little imagining in my head for awhile where Apollo dies fighting Python while protecting Meg, “ Yeah cause actually blaming Python or the Triumvirate would actually make sense yeah? LOL Zeus never makes much sense.

Huh, actually that would be interesting. Would Apollo age quickly too? Like he first did when he was first born?

Meg getting incinerated given her mouth actually makes sense. (Though Zeus has never incinerated Percy…. then again I don’t think Percy ever mouthed off to him in such close proximity. I don’t know about the worship of dryads would give her immortality, I always thought it was the worship of humans that determined immortality in riordanverse… ehh it could probably still work.

Three times? Why? Cause Zeus is just worse then Apollo? I wonder how meg would know though. She has power over plants not the dead… or maybe Hades tells her?

ooh that would be awkward his father reborn as his son? Yeesh.

That would probably grant him a healthy dose of guilt wouldn’t it? Yeesh.

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flightfoot

Apollo succeeding Zeus as king WOULD be an appropriately climatic end to his character arc, though I think we’d have to have a second book series to get him to the point where that would make sense. It would be kinda tricky to pull off convincingly - I doubt a lot of the other Olympians would just agree to go along with Apollo being the ruler without a good reason, plus it wouldn’t feel right if him becoming king came across as just being a reward for getting to the end of his trials - but it would be much better for the PJO universe as a whole. Zeus is a REALLY sucky ruler.

Oh, I’ve read both your story, and that “Zeus turns mortal” story. I like the general idea of yours, but the prophecy needs to be WAY less obvious. It basically just sounds like Apollo will become king because destiny says so, and because he becomes strong enough to dethrone him. But part of Apollo’s character arc is about learning what it’s like to be weak, and needing to rely on others, and make friends. I want him to become king kinda the same way Percy became the leader in The Last Olympian - because everyone respects him and most people like him, not simply because he’s stronger than everyone else.

I do really like the rest of your fic, though. Apollo just kinda folding Nico into his brood of children will never stop being adorable and heartwarming! Plus him continuing to comfort Meg was great, really showed that he was still the same person, even after having his godhood restored.

As for that “Zeus turns mortal” fic (It’s on wattpad, btw)... I like the concept, but not the execution. It came off as very mean-spirited to me.  Even when I agreed with the Olympians that Zeus deserved the punishment, the way they talked about it made me dislike them, ESPECIALLY Apollo. Plus the author put in a bunch of swear words in ways that were just awkward and uncomfortable.

Zeus managed to blame Apollo for the Giant War, when his only real contribution to it was not discouraging Octavian. Zeus insisting on keeping Gods and demigods apart was far more harmful, but he never owned up to his own mistakes and deflected almost all of it onto Apollo, even blaming him for things that weren’t remotely his fault, like saying that him allowing the Prophecy of Seven to be spoken by Rachel helped to trigger it, even though the Romans had had that Prophecy for millennia. With Apollo’s death, he’d be ESPECIALLY eager to deflect blame away from himself, since HE would be responsible for Apollo being put in that position, and not receiving any help. If he didn’t just blame Gaea and the Giants for the Giant war, then I doubt that blaming the Triumvirate and Python for Apollo’s death would be sufficient.

I figure he’d age at an accelerated rate, but not as fast as he did when he was first born. Apollo and Artemis both gestated quite a bit longer than they should have because of Hera, so they were more developed when they were born than most gods are. Plus Apollo would need to recover from almost having his essence snuffed out. I figure he’d age at the rate of maybe a week per year, until he reached maturity around 16~17, so at about 16 weeks. And in the meantime he could visit his various friends while he’s still growing up. I REALLY want a little 5-year-old Apollo to stay a night at the Waystation while there’s a furious thunderstorm going on outside, and for him to be unable to hide how scared he is of it (since his physical form does somewhat impact his mind), and for the residents of the Waystation to comfort him, and be horrified about how Zeus used to hurt him. I want Calypso to sing him a lullaby, Jo and Emmie to tell him what Zeus did was wrong, and for little Georgina to offer him a stuffed animal and some advice for what her moms used to tell her when she got scared of thunderstorms.

Meanwhile, Lityerses is just kinda hiding because he figures that mentally, emotionally, and physically, Apollo is five right now, and would be scared of him. But Apollo has none of it, seeks him out quickly, says he trusts him and he’s happy to see him again, and snuggles up in Lit’s lap for a nap. And Lit just sits there with tears in his eyes, stroking Apollo’s hair while he sleeps, not seeming to believe that this little kid who he once tried to behead, now trusts him and loves him so much. He still can’t believe that ANYONE loves and trusts him, much less someone he used to enthusiastically talk about murdering.

Oh, and back at Camp Half-blood, the whole camp would basically adopt Apollo, and Harley would decide that he’s his little brother. And he’d still insist on that fact even when Apollo became an adult again.

Eh, Riordan has been making it fairly easy to become a god lately, if simply instituting mandatory worship is enough, even in cases where the whole nation hates them and doesn’t respect them, like with Commodus. And he never says that humans have to be the ones worshipping, so I’m going with it for now.

Poseidon’s also generally considered more powerful than Demeter, and would DEFINITELY be REALLY pissed if Zeus harmed Percy. We don’t really know Demeter’s feelings on Meg, on the other hand. I mean, she’s never bothered to communicate with Meg. She claimed her so she definitely knows Meg exists now, but she still hasn’t visited her, even in a dream. Plus, yeah, I think Meg would mouth off more in close proximity to Zeus, and his temper would already be running high with stress from Apollo dying, and a desire to deflect blame to save his own skin, so he’d be raring to punish Meg anyway.

Partly because he’s worse and has been so terrible for so long. I don’t think he actually learned anything from when Apollo, Poseidon, Athena, and Hera tied him up to try and tell him to be a better king. But there’s another reason too. Managing to achieve Elysium three times in a row and achieve entrance to the Isles of the Blest is considered like winning the Good Person Lottery. If Zeus managed to fulfill those same requirements, It would be a good sign that he really HAS changed,and won’t simply revert, like how he reneged on his promise to be faithful to Hera.

My thought is that Meg would become a full goddess, with actual powers and a Sphere of Influence. She’d be dead and would feel that Apollo’s essence was with her, but was slipping away, and if she went to the afterlife like she was supposed to, he’d be gone for good. So she holds onto his essence and desperately tries to avoid going to the Underworld, and then notices that there are some thin little cords connecting her to the mortal world, connected to the dryads that worship her. She follows them back, hard though it is. Those cords will let her return, but not Apollo - and that’s unacceptable. But she refuses to give up. She’s not quite sure what all of this is, what all is going on, but she feels like she can do SOMETHING. Apollo’s essence is like a seed, she thinks. He needs a casing to protect him. She feels around for something to keep him safe and comfortable, and senses something. Her dress. A present from a mother, a kind stranger, who only wanted to help make her comfortable. A present that had gotten ruined many times, but that she still insisted on getting repaired, because of what it meant to her. The dress may not be physically here - it was incinerated along with her body - but the feelings embodied by the dress, the essence of it, remains. She “tears” off a portion of the dress, and wraps Apollo’s essence in it. This time, the cords acquiesce.

Meg materializes in the throne room on Olympus, right where she was incinerated. A chia plant and a yellow daisy spring up at her feet. She’s holding a small green bundle tight against her chest. The throne room had clearly just been through a massive battle. Thrones were damaged, there were scorch marks everywhere, and the gods and demigods she could see all looked tired. Zeus was tied up in a celestial bronze net on the floor. Everyone just GAPED at her, not believing their own eyes. She’s still not entirely sure what happened, but at least Apollo’s safe. She unwraps his head and turns him towards the others, so everyone can see him. Artemis knows who it is immediately - how could she not recognize her baby brother? She delivered him, for Gods’ sake! She rushes over to them and breaks down sobbing as Meg gently transfers the baby Apollo into her arms, just glad that he’s back in SOME form, even if she’s not sure whether he retained his memories. At least he’s HERE, and SAFE. The tension breaks, and all the demigods plus most of the Olympians rush over to Apollo, Artemis, and Meg. Hades, Poseidon, and Hera remain with Zeus. Hades and Poseidon to make sure that Zeus stays trapped, and Hera because she really doesn’t care for Apollo.

After reassuring herself that Apollo is safe and protected, Meg approaches Zeus. She senses that she can cause Zeus to be reborn, kinda like how she just seemed to know how to summon a satyr. As the one who was just now wronged by Zeus, she floats the idea that Zeus should be sent to Earth, to be reborn, without his memories. If Apollo could learn so much from his stay on Earth, perhaps Zeus could as well, and finally become a better person. Hades suggests (with no small amount of glee) that Zeus should be reborn three times as a mortal, and have to achieve Elysium each time. If he can prove worthy of the Isle of Blest, then he may prove worthy to be a god again. If he fails... well, the council can decide on his fate if it comes to that. Meg agrees, with the stipulation that only she would know who Zeus was in each lifetime. She didn’t want the other gods to interfere, and potentially sabotage him. She also stipulates that Zeus will be unable to be granted immortality while  Zeus curses and shouts at them, but to no avail. Meg sends him to be reborn.

Time passes. Apollo grows up again and becomes Camp Director. Meg hangs around Camp Half-blood most of the time. Even if she’s a goddess now, she still behaves like Meg. Zeus is reborn. First time he’s born as the son of a minor Greek goddess. Apollo spots him from the sun chariot, and escorts him safely to camp. He’s weirdly bristly with Apollo at first, and even he’s not sure why. He warms up eventually though. When he hears about Luke, he considers him a hero for making sure the minor gods got recognized. He’s quite cocky, but he still dies a heroic death, and is granted Elysium. As soon as the judges give their decision, he vanishes, immediately reborn. This time he’s reborn as a legacy of Jupiter in New Rome. He has few powers, but he’s still a valuable member of the legion. He grows up hearing of the brave son of Jupiter who led the charge on Mount Orthys, a member of the Seven who took down Gaea, and who died protecting his comrades. He wishes he could meet Jason or Jupiter, get to know those members of his extended family, but Jupiter’s been sentenced to some punishment which most of the campers don’t know the details of. He eventually meets Thalia and asks her to tell him about her father and brother. After hearing from Thalia’s perspective, he wishes he could meet Jason more than ever, but he’s kinda glad that Jupiter has been sentenced to live out three mortal lives. Any asshole who would murder an innocent twelve-year-old just to try and deflect blame deserves a long punishment. If anything, he thinks it’s too lenient.

In this second life, Zeus dies defending his comrades, and once judged, is immediately reborn for the last time - this time, as Apollo’s son. While he’s raised by his mother, he often gets visits from kind men. He knows they’re secretly the same man, since they all have the same smile, even though they look different. He goes along with it, though, and pretends that the disguises fool him. He’s a little kid, cheering him up when some kids pick on him at school. He’s a street musician, who first coaxes Zeus into singing in public. He’s even a teacher’s aid once, who sits with Zeus and helps teach him how to read, even though his dyslexia makes that difficult.

Then one day, when he’s about ten, Zeus sees his first monster. He panics and runs and prays that someone will help him. A moment later, an arrow is sticking out of the beast. It crumples to the ground and vanishes. Zeus looks at the man who shot the beast and recognizes him as the same man he’s encountered throughout the years. The man introduces himself as Apollo, explains that if he had stayed with Zeus and let him know who he was earlier, then monsters would have been able to find Zeus earlier as well. It was a moot point now, though, so Apollo drove Zeus to camp in the Sun Chariot.

Zeus is swarmed by his half-siblings upon entering camp. Apollo had told them that he was gonna have to retrieve him soon,and they’d been looking forward to meeting him. Apollo didn’t have children nearly as often as he used to, but he made sure to pay attention to each and every child, and they were all excited to welcome someone else to the family.

Zeus gets to experience a happy family life, staying with his mother most of the year, but spending summers at Camp Half-Blood. He bonds with Apollo quite closely over the years. At one point, when he’s around fourteen, he sees his father looking worried and scared, and coaxes him into opening up. Apollo confesses that Meg told him that his own father, Zeus, was on his third life, and may die and have his divinity restored in the next few years. Apollo doesn’t really know how to deal with that. Zeus will have proven himself a good mortal, achieving Elysium three times in a row, but this was still the man who liked to electrocute Apollo, who tried to murder Meg and even sorta succeeded. He wasn’t sure he was ready to face him. Mortal!Zeus got pissed at Zeus, and silently promised himself that until Apollo could talk about Zeus with no fear on his face, that he wouldn’t forgive Zeus.

Mortal!Zeus dies about a year later. Apollo’s devastated. He escorts his son down to the Underworld, and watches as he’s judged. As soon as they declare him worthy of Elysium, sparkles surround Mortal!Zeus, and he transforms back to his regular divine state, receiving all the memories that had been taken from him. Both Apollo and Zeus are shocked. Zeus remembers everything he’s done to Apollo, and done to other gods and mortals over time, and teleports away to sort out the immense guilt he feels. Apollo stumbles around, trying to figure out WHAT THE HECK JUST HAPPENED.

They later reconcile, Zeus apologizing for everything he’s done, admitting that saying sorry isn’t really enough to make up for his actions over the years, and that he’ll stay away from Apollo, if that’s what he wants. He has to let Apollo know first though, that he was the best Dad he could ever ask for. Apollo tells him not to stay away, and pulls him into a hug, Zeus crying all the while. It’s still super awkward, but they would make it work.

Well that kinda turned into a fanfic there. I think Meg becoming the goddess of rebirth and redemption would make sense, since agriculture is often associated with rebirth. The redemption part is because Meg has seen how people can be redeemed, people like Apollo, Lit, Crest, and even herself. There is no god of redemption currently, so she will become one. It kinda goes along with rebirth, anyway.

[thisisheffner]

Pet Shop Boys: 'The acoustic guitar should be banned' | Music | The Guardian

The new Pet Shop Boys album is, they say, the third in a trilogy. Hotspot follows 2013’s Electric and 2016’s Super, all collaborations with producer Stuart Price, all examples of the duo’s return to “electronic purism” after a succession of albums where, as Neil Tennant puts it, they variously “pretended to be a rock band” (Release), “made a zany one with everything and the kitchen sink on it” (Yes) and “went to LA and made an album about being old” (Elysium).

“That was your big idea, being old,” says Tennant, nodding in the direction of his fellow Pet Shop Boy Chris Lowe, who is sitting alongside him on the sofa in a record company office in the City of London. “He explained that to our manager and she was absolutely aghast. She looked completely horrified.”

It is worth noting that in recent years the Pet Shop Boys have also written scores for Eisenstein’s 1925 silent film Battleship Potemkin and a ballet based on a Hans Christian Andersen fairytale (2011’s The Most Incredible Thing), as well as premiering A Man From the Future – a kind of pop oratorio based on the life of Alan Turing – at the Proms. They also provided the music for a theatrical adaptation of Stephen Frears’ film My Beautiful Laundrette and a one-woman Edinburgh festival show by actor Frances Barber, based on the character of Billie Trix, the washed-up pop star she played in the Pet Shop Boys’ 2001 musical Closer To Heaven. Its revival was also noticeably more successful than the critically savaged original production. “It was a very outrageous piece for 2001, loads of drugs in it, somebody dies,” notes Tennant. “Andrew Lloyd-Webber’s company produced it and I remember him saying: ‘Well, sorry guys, I guess it was a bit too much for everybody.’”

Set against this backdrop, the Electric/Super/Hotspot trilogy does seem like a return to what you might call Pet Shop Boys basics. They began their career in 1984, working with hi-NRG producer Bobby Orlando, transforming the predominant sound of the era’s gay clubs into a very British and brainy brand of pop music, shot through with a streak of social comment so subtly done that people frequently missed the point entirely. Thirty years of the duo patiently explaining that Opportunities (Let’s Make Lots of Money) was a satire of 80s excess doesn’t seem to have dimmed TV documentary directors’ enthusiasm for playing it in the background during footage of yuppies shouting into enormous mobile phones or spraying champagne; 1987’s Shopping was a withering portrait of London consumerism between the Big Bang and Black Monday, so shrewdly drawn you could imagine a City boy of the era banging the wheel of his Ferrari and bellowing along, oblivious to its real intent.

A lot has changed since 1984, though. For one thing, the Pet Shop Boys have sold 100m records. But while the vast majority of their 80s contemporaries have long been consigned to the nostalgia circuit or vanished entirely – “down the dumper,” as Tennant memorably put it while working as a journalist on Smash Hits – the Pet Shop Boys have become a kind of curious national institution. Still close enough to the heart of pop that younger stars flock to work with them – Hotspot features Olly Alexander of Years & Years, who, Tennant dryly notes, “is of a different generation to us, sings in a different style, more R&B, whereas Chris always says I sing like Julie Andrews” – and yet sufficiently highbrow that all the ballets and oratorios and scores for silent films feel like a natural fit rather than an affectation.

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The duo long ago reneged on their refusal to play gigs, although, as Tennant points out, his celebrated 80s line about how he “liked proving that we can’t cut it live” was meant as a joke, on account of their inability to make their grandiose plans for shows work financially – their first US tour was both a vast success and lost half a million pounds. Now, however, they are a reliably stadium-filling, festival-headlining act – a 25-date greatest hits tour of European arenas begins in May. It’s a state of affairs they seem to enjoy, but it’s not without its hiccups. “I announced I was going to retire,” sighs Tennant, “when we played a half-empty venue in Grimsby on my birthday in 2002.”

And yet here they are, in 2020, roughly where they were in 1984, occasional residents of Berlin (they own a flat in the city, its kitchen converted into a recording studio, complete with “a vocoder which we never use because I don’t know how to plug it in,” says Lowe), making music at least partly inspired by the city’s nightlife. They are regular visitors to its notoriously hedonistic techno mecca Berghain, although their approach to the club seems impressively genteel, as befits men in their 60s. “We go on Sunday lunchtimes,” smiles Tennant, “around 12 o’clock. We treat it as pre-lunch drinks – we go up to the Panorama Bar and have a glass of prosecco. You get the people who’ve been there all night, they’re absolutely twatted, but then there’s a fresh crowd coming in as well, and it’s a very interesting atmosphere. And it’s great to walk in from daylight on to the main dancefloor, which is completely dark, there’s just a kick drum playing four-to-the-floor, and it’s really, really exciting in an alienating way.”

If the duo’s penchant for satire seems less present on Hotspot, says Tennant, that’s because it was “siphoned off” on the 2019 EP Agenda, home to Give Stupidity a Chance and What Are We Going to Do About the Rich?, by some distance the angriest songs the Pet Shop Boys have ever recorded. “What was the reaction to them? Probably generally negative,” laughs Tennant. “I mean, if you’re doing something to wind people up and they get wound up, I suppose your job’s been done.”

In fact, a careworn song about the refugee crisis aside, the tone of Hotspot is often rather romantic. “Berlin’s quite a romantic place,” says Tennant. “People in Britain tend to think of Berlin, even now, as the wall and Bowie making ‘Heroes’. But it’s got 80 lakes in it, you can be in the countryside in 20 minutes, it’s such a beautiful place in the summer, you have pubs on the river. So that’s why I think it sounds warm and romantic.”

The duo are famously entertaining interviewees, Tennant’s background as a music journalist clear both in his theorising about “the discipline of the pop single” and an awareness of how things look in print. When talk turns to the current crop of earnest post-Ed Sheeran troubadours, he first, perhaps rashly, suggests: “I think the acoustic guitar should be banned, actually.” Then offers a headline for a feature based around that quote: “Pet Shop Boys Blast Lame Rock Rivals”.

Lowe, meanwhile, contrary to his public image – stony-faced and silent beneath an unending selection of preposterous hats – is drily funny about everything from his partner’s singing voice (“Neil is not from the gospel tradition, despite having been an altar boy”), to the Americanisation of British culture: “I can’t believe schools have started having prom dances. As if school isn’t bad enough anyway without a prom at the end of it. They never end well in films, do they? We’ve all seen Carrie.”

But nevertheless, an old-fashioned element of mystery and distance remains intact: what they do when they are not being the Pet Shop Boys remains largely unknown, their private lives off limits throughout their career. They don’t do social media, or rather they did, then reconsidered when they realised that it involved “interaction”, a word Tennant says with comic horror. “We were early adopters of Twitter,” says Lowe, “and early leavers. The only thing I liked about it was blocking people. I loved to block.”

“Chris,” smiles Tennant, “is the sort of person who, if he’d been a pop star in the 1970s, would have posted a turd to someone he didn’t like.”

They do feel a little out of place in the current pop climate’s obsession with authenticity and ordinariness (“authenticity is a style,” notes Tennant, “and it’s always the same style”), its lyrical penchant for what they waspishly term “narcissistic misery”.

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“We’re always looking for euphoria and excitement in music,” he says, “that sort of feeling we got the first time we heard Bobby O’s records, or Helter Skelter by the Beatles, or even She Loves You, going right back to being a child. That euphoric thing came back in with the rave scene in the 80s, but it isn’t really at the core of pop music now. Its context is social media; social media has actually created and defined the form of popular music and I think, unfortunately, that takes it down the narcissistic misery route. It doesn’t have the importance it once had, and that’s been the case for quite a while. It’s become a facet of social media. You know, everything we do, there’s people working out how to edit it down to 10 seconds, literally everything. I wonder what would happen now if you released Bohemian Rhapsody.”

Then again, says Tennant, they never did fit in. “When we started off we really did think we were going to create our own world that might reference other things, like a novelist writing a series of novels set in a particular era or something like that, where we were characters. And when we did collaborations, we judged them very carefully. So our first collaboration was with Dusty Springfield [on 1987’s What Have I Done To Deserve This?]. Our label didn’t want us to work with her, they wanted us to work with Tina Turner or someone like that. I remember the director of EMI going: ‘I can get you Streisand!’ But” – he thumps the coffee table before him for emphasis – “we wanted Dusty. Then we worked with Liza Minnelli and that was sort of politely greeted with horror, but everyone went along with it and it worked, because it’s our world.”

Of Top of the Pops, he says: “We were never the kind of performers who were going to enter into it wholeheartedly. Chris established early on that we weren’t allowed to look thrilled to be there. Whenever the camera came over to us, he’d say: ‘Don’t look triumphant!’ But we used to quite enjoy Top of the Pops, you know, being glared at by some singer because you’d said something nasty about them in the press.” He laughs. “I always liked the way that British pop stars always hated each other. When I worked on Smash Hits, I remember the editor saying: ‘We should do a piece on Paul Weller, because he’ll slag everyone off.’ The feuds! Duran Duran and Spandau, Boy George and Pete Burns arguing about who had those sort of gay dreadlocks first.”

“I don’t think bands do that now,” nods Lowe. “When we tour, we’ve got this band, young musicians, and it’s so refreshing because they’re so nice. They feel part of a musical community, they all know each other, they play on each other’s records, they’re all linked in. It wasn’t like that when we were around.”

But, of course, they are still around. Their albums – if not their singles – are inevitably Top 10 hits and sprinkled with songs that rank alongside their best. The Billie Trix cabaret show, Musik, is about to transfer to London, and there are excited rumours abounding that they are playing Glastonbury this year – “which we can’t talk about, which is annoying” – after their guest spot on the Killers’ headline set in 2019.

“Making music, there is still a magic about going into a studio and finding that sort of euphoria and excitement of something new,” says Tennant. “There’s a magic to realising there’s nothing more you can add to something, it’s finished, and then judging its value or whatever. It’s a supremely enjoyable and satisfying career, and, you know, you can’t stop doing it. I mean, if you run out of ideas, that’s when you stop.”

“I’m quite looking forward to that actually,” nods Lowe. “Running out of ideas.” He grins. “Because that’s when you go and work with Brian Eno.”

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