#meanwhile hes encouraging them to mess with shit

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

Tell me what u think dazai would be like with a pet (type of pet is your choice whatever u think he’d have 🫶)

i think realistically he'd probably not be the most responsible pet owner... HOWEVER annoying cat owner dazai is kind of dear to my heart. but i also feel like its funnier when the cat in question is atsushi

[oh-no-its-bird]

Thinking about my desire for a mistaken identity time travel fic where Obito and Sasuke get tossed into the warring states, but bc Sasuke looks like an Izuna clone and Obito for some reason gets the wild hair look back, they keep being mistaken for Madara and Izuna.

Notably, they keep being mistaken for Madara and Izuna as they are in the middle of attempting to beat the ever-loving shit out of eachother.

And because Obito likes causing problems for Madara and Sasuke shrimply does not give a fuck and might even appreciate the fake identity alibi, they do nothing to actually deny the mistaken identity. Obito actually encourages it, usually by loudly agreeing with whoever shouts "omg its Uchiha Madara" as he lights shit on fire.

Anything to cause the real Madara more problem, right? Karma, bitch aa

He actually wants to cut his hair short again but the temptation of getting to continue to ruin Madara's reputation is too good, so he doesnt

ANYWAYS. Thinking about all of the above again w the context of my "Kakashi is related to and bears a resemblance to Tobirama" agenda thats been steadily growing in like. Actually, I think almost every Kakashi fic Ive written so far (oops)

Maybe I want Kakashi in this now. Maybe I'm also thinking about Tenzo, who got the same "oh for some strange reason my hair is longer now" treatment as Obito and with the Mokuton, can now be mistake as Hashirama by those who have never seen him. Or even people who have seen him but logically assume he's wearing a henge.

There's only one known man with the power of Mokuton-- why would the ever believe it wasn't Hashirama (unless they were close enough to the man to truly doubt it on a personal level)

I have no real ideas for an overarching plot, but like. Obito, Sasuke, Kakashi and Tenzo mistaken identity time travel my beloved,,

Kakashi and Tenzo traveled + landed together and Obito and Sasuke did the same so neither group is aware of the other

(Kakashi and Obito eventually figure it out bc of the shared eye connection I think)

But in the mean time they actually keep managing to avoid each other bc they'll hear rumors ab "Uchiha Madara" being spotted in the town over (Obito continues to be very loud about it very on purpose) and then avoid going there, while Sasuke hears the same, figures its Obito, and sprints over to try and bash his face in

Obito finally eventually gets cornered by Kakashi, Tenzo, and Sasuke and gets his shit rocked fr fr send tweet

Sasuke and Kakashi bonding moment(s) where we tackle the uhh. Everything. Of canon. And Sasuke gives Kakashi a crumb of respect back or smthn

Idk but I just want to see Sasuke call him sensei, don't ask me how we'd get there

Meanwhile when they're finally like, exposed or whatever there's just SUCH a mess there to be had

I'm choosing Uchiha Hikaku as my first contact bc I love him dearly and think he serves as good middleground between ranks of importance and relevance

So like. Picture this.

You are Hikaku. You're sent out to investigate some rumors about Madara and Izuna fucking shit up and causing a general mess some ways away. A henge, a slander campaign, the real Madara-sama is sure.

You get there and find 3 people fighting.

(Obito, Kakashi and Tenzo's first interaction. It's tense. They may all come from the final battle, after Obito changed his mind, but there were a lot of things left unsaid and also they all probably just wanna beat the shit out of eachother anyways. Things happen, things are said, a fight is had)

Two of them bear a passing resemblance to Madara and Tobirama respectively, and the 3rd has the look of a Senju to him.

Ok. So, Senju slander campaign? Gone... wrong, he'd assume by the fact that they were all fighting.

You then recognize that the fake Madara has mismatched eyes (!!!! What the fuck !!! Culturally significant thing there !! Was he born like that? Was it a transplant?)

And the fake Tobirama(?) has a whole stolen sharingan he seems to be ACTIVLEY using (WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! SOUND THE ALARMS!!!!! BLOODLINE THIEF ALERT !!!!!!!!)

You debate between just watching or entering the fight, but then the fake Tobirama makes some sort of reference to his sharingan eye belonging to the fake Madara's.

All thoughts come to a screeching halt.

Ok. So. Gonna get involved now.

There's a clear side here (Uchiha vs potential Senju) Hikaku can not leave his clanmate to die, and he doesn't yet know how he might have been involved in the slander campaign so it's honestly best to put this guy in his pocket and bring him back to Madara anyways

So Hikaku enters the battle, everyone makes appropriate shocked pikachu faces bc no one noticed him and aw shit it's gonna get more complicated, cool, awesome, great

(Also note; Hikaku became the eventual Uchiha head after Madara's defection so there's also a "oh shit no way" reaction from Obito specifically who knows this information. And also maybe Kakashi who I imagine knows a lot of Konoha's history and politics)

Battle continues, Tenzo uses Mokuton, Hikaku gets appropriately freaked the FUCK out at the idea of another mokuton user

Then Sasuke comes crashing out of nowhere , yay !!!

(Kakashi and Tenzo, who did not know Sasuke was here yet and are only seeing him for the first time, make more surprised pikachu faces)

Sasuke, who... possibly knew Kakashi and Tenzo were around and may have been avoiding them, wanting to signal that for now at least they were all on the same side (against Obito) nods to Kakashi specifically and gives a tense and sort of stilted, "sensei."

SO. HIKAKU IS KIND OF GOING THROUGH IT OVER HERE NOW.

Sasuke is a dead fucking wringer for Izuna in the way that only a direct relation can be. I'm talking they could absoloutley pass for twins kind of relation. Worst of all, they look around the same age (Sasuke is only a few years younger)

Hikaku is no longer fighting with a strange Uchiha against Senju agents he's now fighting with an Uchiha against another Uchiha (who's a dead wringer for his clan heir !!!!) He does not know who to believe or what side to exist on.

(Had this false Izuna called the fake Tobirama sensei? Oh god—)

Things happen, whether they lose or escape I don't know but it ends with an incredibly confused and concerned Hikaku returning to the Uchiha clan compound with tales of bloodline theft, another mokuton user, and horrifically— A possible sibling, lost and raised by the senju in secret.

Yeah. So. Madara won't react well to that. Madara won't react well to that at all.

(Izuna won't either, in the slightest. Does... does he have a twin...? Did he have a twin once, lost too early for their parents to bear to tell them...?)

It's incredibly hard for the Senju to deny any involvement when Hikaku has sharingan perfect memories to share of the fake-Izuna (Sasuke, they had called him Sasuke) standing side by side with a man who resembles Tobirama and another who is very fucking clearly using Mokuton. And that's "very fucking clearly using mokuton" seen by someone who has SEEN mokuton used in battle. Multiple times. He will not mistake it for anything else.

Anyways oops sorry for creating a horrible political scandal and also probably making the Uchiha/Senju wore like 10 times more charged teehee </3

(Obito doesn't give a shit. Sasuke swings violently between caring both too little and too much depending on the hour of the day and how the issue is framed. Kakashi and Tenzo are.... distracted. And undecided. And care about this issue from an "aw shit but Konoha wait no—" view point)

Ummmmm anyways endgame Konoha is made early (but possibly with a bit more blood involved) and Hikaku is made Hokage bc I fucking love Hikaku, yay the end !!!

[hannieehaee]

hi! who in svt would be more likely to be a camboy as a side gig/job? i feel like maybe seungkwan cause we all know he feels comfortable in front of the camera and is great at knowing what the public wants, or mingyu cause he loves showing himself off🤭 i initially thought about wonwoo cause he does gaming streams but he’s wayyyy to shy i feel like he would rather keep his intimate time private.

i don’t remember if i already asked this sorry if i alr did!

18+ / mdi

content: camboy!seungkwan, smut, masturbation (m receiving), no x reader but you can assume the chatter is reader, etc.

wc: 710

a/n: i can imagine both but seungkwan's just such a natural entertainer i had to pick him hehe

masterlist

lovergirl98: take the top off baby !!!

- tip: $25

"oh? this thing? but i picked it out just for you. want it off that bad? what does everyone else think? should i take it off?", seungkwan used his index finger to tease at the strap of his tank top, lowering it a bit to expose his shoulder to the audience.

his words combined by his actions caused an immediate flurry in the chat, having it fill up with various comments parroting the original request and even throwing in more money into the fire to ensure it happened. seungkwan chuckled at the insistence, biting his lip at how easy it was to get his viewers fired up.

within seconds, the top was thrown across the room, leaving him in just his boxers as he leaned back on the headboard of his bed.

even more comments showed up, with some begging him to do the same to his boxers while others tried to convince him to play with his nipples.

both orders were promptly followed after a little more teasing from seungkwan, tsk'ing at his chat for being so needy.

"oh ... looks like there's nothing else to take off," he pouted, "what do my needy kittens want now? should i ... play with my cock? is that what you want?"

lovergirl98: wanna see u cum, pretty. gimme a show?

- tip: $50

"lovergirl ... someone's a bit desperate today, huh? this is your fifth tip today. might have to give you a private show for that," he winked before letting his hand go further south, enveloping his swollen hardness with a hiss.

he knew that such comments would get other of his viewers to follow in your path and donate more. seungkwan was already familiar with your username, and he had a lot of fun paying extra attention to your comments. he couldnt help being an appreciative man for all your support.

seungkwan continued to caress himself, starting off with a soft and slow pace and increasing as more comments popped up in encouragement for him to go harder, go faster. kwan drank it all in, using his other hand to occasionally palm at his balls or caress at his bare chest.

lovergirl98: sooo pretty. gonna make me cum with u

- tip: $20

"yeah? wish i could see, pretty," he cried out in the midst of his upcoming high.

he teased himself a few times, getting himself to his high yet stopping right before actually orgasming. meanwhile, he continued to mutter dirty words to his viewers, earning himself rewards for giving them a show of his not-so private pleasure.

"f-fuck, gonna cum. i ... shit, it's so good, fuck. wish you were here to ... to take it for me," he mewled, playing it up a bit for whichever viewer wanted to take claim of him.

and luckily enough, at least ten people donated right at that moment, all in differing amounts and all sharing similar sentiments of wanting seungkwan's spunk either in their mouths or in other parts of their body.

maybe it was a little egotistical of him, but such desperate displays of need for him were enough to finally make him finish. he could see himself in the view finder, looking at the same view his fans had of him as he squirted his cum all over his stomach.

after that, heavy breaths filled the room, occasionally interrupted by pings indicating even more donations from his subscribers.

"hmm, you were so good for me. look at the mess you made me do," he chuckled as he looked through his comments one last time, too exhausted due to the overstimulation he'd inflicted onto himself.

with that, he closed the tab, deciding to put an end to the stream before he fell in another rabbit hole of an orgasm. but even then, private messages popped up, with endless offers of a private show in exchange of heftier donations than usual.

lovergirl was there as per usual, making seungkwan chuckle at the insistence. it was endearing, he had to admit. he considered for a bit, but decided to put it in the back burner before heading over to the bathroom to wash himself up. a smile of satisfaction remained on his face in the meantime.

maybe next time.

a/n: this was different since it wasn't very member x reader but i hope u guys enjoyed anyways!

[oddeyevibes]

The LaDS in a polycule

We pretty much understand the relationship between the guys and MC (with some differences depending on how you personally characterize your MC).

But how would their relationships with each other?

(Under the cut, cause this turned out longer than I expected. There’s probably some typos but I’m writing this soooo late so whatevs)

Rafayel + Sylus

Sylus’ relationship with Rafayel is much similar to your relationship with fish boi. One’s a brat and the other a brat tamer.

However, the main difference is that Sylus revels being the “top” (for lack of a better word) in this dynamic. Whereas with you, he encourages them to be more domineering and will happily be leashed.

Rafayel pushes your buttons because he knows you’ll still come through for him and also push back in your own bratty way—if that makes sense.

Meanwhile, he genuinely likes pushing Sylus’ buttons because he likes the thrill of him being angry or frustrated.

Sylus and Rafayel essentially play dangerous together. And if you’re wondering where you would fit into that, it’s by being the one to cool them both off but ALSO, Rafayel knows being a little shit will get your attention and in doing so, he’ll be doted on much to Sylus’ annoyance.

—————

Zayne + Xavier

Much like before, Zayne & Xavier’s dynamic are much similar to their dynamics with MC with Zayne being the one to constantly get on Xavier about healthier habits.

Meanwhile, Xavier’s behavior is something that can be calming to someone like Zayne. I think initially, Zayne doesn’t trust Xavier. Despite all of the guys having an obsession with being near you, he doesn’t initially trust Xavier being someone who has the most access to you with both of y’all being Hunters and neighbors.

At least him, Sylus, & Rafayel have lives outside of you but he’s not sure he can say the same for Xavier. So their dynamic is strained at first but they eventually grow warmer.

Ironically, Xavier initially distrusts Zayne for almost the same reasons. You obviously don’t see it that way but Xavier thinks it’s weird that someone you know so closely in your PCP and he doesn’t trust how much he has over your health.

But their dynamic is one that grows into a cautious intimacy where every action is intentional.

—————

Rafayel + Xavier

Rafayel is putting this man THROUGH IT.

All Xavier can think of is “this is a worse version of you”. At least with you, your tendency to get into danger comes from a sense of trying to doing the right thing.

Rafayel—on the other hand—Will dead ass get into trouble cause he knows Xavier will come running. Much like how he does it with you. The main difference is that Xavier is faster and knows that if something happened to Rafayel, you’d be sad……..but maybe you’d just have to get over it if he attempts one of those boat trips again.

It takes time for Xavier to warm up to him because all he does not see the appeal you or any of the others do. He’s glad that polycule doesn’t mean he has to be with EVERYONE in the group because god can he not stand Rafayel right now. To him, he’s a basic rich brat who you give too much attention to.

Then one day, while you all are helping Raf organize his house, Xavier falls asleep on the couch and Rafayel thinks he look ethereal so he paints him. When Xavier ends up seeing it, he’s amazed by the attention to detail and the way he’s depicted as some sort of god of light taking a nap.

It doesn’t instantly change his view of Rafayel but he takes notes that Rafayel is clearly not just some airhead you pay too much attention to.

————

Zayne + Sylus

They didn’t plan on being the “responsible ones” of the group but look at their competition: a reckless hunter, a diva, and sleeping beauty who thinks instant noodles is a full meal.

Of course, Sylus is more loose with it while Zayne can be more stern.

“Rafayel, you should pay that bill”

“If the diva wants to live in a cardboard box, I say we let him.”

Sylus does it to mess with Zayne….only slightly, he says. To be honest, Silas didn’t like Zayne too much at first and that’s because of an off hand comment you made comparing the two. To him, that meant fighting for your attention until he actually met Zayne and understood. To be honest, he likes that.

That said, he’s more stern with Zayne than he is with anyone else because of how much Zayne really needs to be pushed into taking care of himself In comparison to everyone else in the group.

On Zayne’s end, he never urges Sylus to be more open with the others and merely keep those conversations between the two of them. The polycule is chaotic but Zayne & Sylus’ dynamic is that calmness they both need.

Zayne is given an opportunity to be the one being wined & dined. Yes, you as the MC are always doing your best to take care of him but you aren’t criminal underworld rich now, are you?

Zayne is growing to like being pampered and Sylus teases him for it but completely does pamper him with some of their alone time being Sylus softly running his fingers through Zayne’s hair.

————

Zayne + Rafayel

Zayne does not put up with Rafayel’s diva behavior AT ALL no matter how hard Rafayel tries. Because he’s kind of no nonsense, Rafayel initially sees him as boring.

“Rafayel, we should probably get going.”

“Why? Because our Stiff Overload will complain? Boohoo.”

Much like how Xavier doesn’t understand the appeal of Rafayel, Rafayel doesn’t understand the appeal of Zayne. In his mind, he can’t imagine you liking someone who is so stiff and…boring. That’s always the words he uses to describe Zayne because he feels it hits him the most.

For Zayne, he similarly doesn’t understand the appeal of Rafayel. At least with Xavier & Sylus, there’s a level of reliability to them but he just can’t see it with Rafayel. (So he basically has the same view as Xavier).

What shifts their perspectives of each other is through their crafts. Zayne sees that when it comes to something he’s truly passionate about, Rafayel is responsible and he goes about his obligations in his own way. Like the time he creatively insults someone at a dinner event for mocking Xavier’s “lack of manners” because he doesn’t pretend to be interested in small talk. Responsibility doesn’t always mean rigidness.

For Rafayel, he sees the care Zayne has in taking care of his patients, including you. He’s not some fancy doctor looking for a paycheck, Zayne wants to really help people and his patients absolutely love him. Passion doesn’t have to be a burst of energy.

(It’s dead ass just fire and ice clashing)

————

Xavier + Sylus

🌟 + 🐦 (picture limit lol)

Probably the most anticipated dynamic within the polycule because none of y’all can actually figure out even Zayne is slumped.

Sylus and Xavier actually have the most tension because neither really trusts the other at first. Xavier doesn’t trust Sylus’ intentions with you or anyone else in the polycule but that’s because he knows how ruthless those in the N109 Zone are.

Sylus doesn’t trust Xavier’s intentions either because he’s too shrouded in mystery and it seems like his whole lethargic demeanor is enough to fool everyone else but not him. He knows he’s hiding something about his own intentions and he’ll keep guard.

“I didn’t think you had a fondness of actors, kitten.”

“Can you really trust someone like him?”

They do the most in their rivalry yet try to seem the least bothered by each other. Funnily enough, the only one who peeps it is Rafayel. He notices the way their facial expressions subtly change when dealing with each other.

The shift is that eventually Sylus finds out what Xavier’s here for and Xavier reveals that he’s been holding off. In return, Sylus confides in him about being the leader of Onychinus and the pressure that holds. It’s a genuine heart to heart that allows each other to trust each other, especially since now they both know the other poses no actual threat to the group.

[melanieph321]

bae please write something for one of the barca boys😩

🫡

Pedri/Fermin x Reader - Nude

Who's more artistic, Pedri or Fermin? 💅

Pedri and Fermin are tricked to take an art class by some of the Barca boys. Things get a little heated as the two of them are expected to portray a nude model, the nude model being you.

Enjoy!

"I can't believe we're doing this?" Said Fermin.

"We?" Pedri pushed open the door to the arts department. They had struggled with directions on campus and were most likely running late for the class. "Look around, Fermin. It's your big mouth that keeps getting us into shit like this. If you and Cancelo would just stop betting your well-earned salaries, we could be having a day off for once. Instead, we're in The University of Barcelona, fulfilling silly side quests such as this one."

"Okay, okay, Gonzalez. I get it, I messed up....again. But let's see the positive in this."

"Which is?"

They paused on the top of a stairscase. People were passing them by, students, turning their heads at the sight of them.

"Our parents would be proud to finally see us attending university."

Pedri rolled his eyes and shoved Fermin for him to keep walking.

The boys eventually found the right classroom and stumbled through the door in chaotic fashion. Students, seated before large canvasas, shifted their heads.

Pedri and Fermin looked at each other hesitantly. "Erm...Buenos días?"

"You made it!" A woman stood from behind a canvas, approching them where they stood awkwardly by the door. "Señores! You must be Pedri, and you must be Fermin." She shook their hands vividly. A surprisingly strong grip "I'm Martina Ramirez, the teacher of this class. My husband and children are big fans of Barça. Matter of fact, they still don't believe that the two of you are participating in my class today."

"This is it?" Fermin frowned, which earned him a slap in the back of the head from Pedri.

"Puta! Why did you do that for?"

"Yes, yes, of course." She directed them towards the circle of students, sitting them down before their blank canvasas.

Pedri ignored his friend, smiling at the woman. "Thank you for having us today Señorita Ramirez. Should we take our seats?"

Fermin looked to Pedri, shaking his head in disbelief. However, as the class began, the boys found themselves surprisingly engaged. Señorita Ramirez was a great teacher, and she made the class fun and interactive. They started with drawing, and before long, Pedri was actually creating some pretty impressive sketches. Fermin, on the other hand, struggled a bit more, but he found joy in experimenting with different colors and textures. That is, until you stepped into the room.

You were late, slowed down by the unexpected rain. Luckily, your clothes were meant to come off anyway. You entered the dimly lit classroom unnoticed so as not to disturb the students, deeply immersed in their work. But of course, Señorita Ramirez spotted you and waved for you to take your place in the middle of the circle.

"Señoras y señores, our object has arrived."

Like clock work the students flipped the pages of their sketchbooks, none of them bothering to give you a second glance, none of them expect for two boys who seemed a bit lost at what the other students were doing.

"Yes, boys, just like that." Señorita Ramirez encouraged. "Flipp your pages. It's time for a new drawing."

They did what they were told. Meanwhile, you took your place in the circle, untying the ropes of your bathrobe, the fabric sliding down your naked shoulders.

"Joder!" Someone gasped. One of the lost boys. His eyes were wide, staring at you like a maniac on ecstasy.

"Now Señor Lopez...." Señorita Ramirez approched him, pointing to his blank canvas. "Paint what you see, honey. Paint what you see."

He swollowed nervously but managed to diverge his eyes back to the canvas. Beside him his friend was already getting busy with his paint brush, a slight blossom to his cheeks.

"You holler when you need a break cariño."

"Yes, señorita Ramirez."

You usually lasted the whole class without a break. However, you could feel drops of water from your wet hair running down the length of your naked back, which could be a problem for later. But right now, your main focus was to pose for the students, two of those students who looked awfully familiar to you, but from where, you had no idea.

At one point, you tilted your head to get a better look at the other. The one with the dark hair and blushing cheeks. However, some students would hiss at you, urging for you to stand still. You did this repeatedly, curiously regarding the new boy who kept his eyes on his canvas, refusing to throw glance your way. His friend on the other hand, grinned at you like a kid in a candy store. He seemed more fascinated by your nakedness than Jack did Rose in that Titanic movie.

"There, times up!" Señorita Ramirez announced.

"What, already?" Fermin sighed.

Pedri, on the other hand, stood, swiftly grabbing his coat.

"Boys..."

"Puta." He hissed, seeing as Señorita Ramirez made her way over to them.

"I hope you enjoyed attending this class as much as I liked having you here?"

"Oh, I enjoyed myself for sure." Fermin said, slapping the canvasas tucked underneath his arm. "Trust me, this one is going up on my wall at home."

Pedri wanted to slap his friend again. But just then you were seen walking up to his canvas, clutching your bathrobe around your body. You were regarding Pedri's painting, making him even more nervous.

"Excuse me?" He said, pushing pass Fermin and Señorita Ramirez. He pushed passed them and lunged for his canvas, pulling it away, out of your site. "I'm sorry, but it's not finished." He muttered.

"I can see that." You giggled. "A good start though."

Pedri looked up, meeting your eyes. "You think so?"

"I mean you only drew my face, but I guess that's the best part of me, no?"

"Yes, yes it is...."

You frowned.

"No!" He blurred out. "Not only your face looks good. All of you looks good. I just wish that I had more time to finish it."

You smiled. "Well, there's always sametime next week."

Pedri nodded, however did not raise his head to meet your eyes again. "Yeah, maybe next week..."

"Great, I'll see you then." You offered him your hand, which he shook almost immediately.

"Pedri, Pedri Gonzalez."

"Nice to meet you Pedri, my name is Y/N."

"Y/N." He said it almost dreamingly.

"....And my name is Fermin, Fermin Lopez, if you please." His friend disrupted the moment. Pedri looked to want to kill him. Nevertheless, the boys left shortly after that, never to be seen again. That is, until you turned on the TV that following night.

[toxycodone]

Please write that Thistle essay.

I feel like I’m losing braincells every time I see someone infantilizing Thistle as if he’s some kind of dumb elementary schooler and not the most successful dungeon lord in history who technically controls the entire Golden Country (or what’s left of it) and spent years on magic research.

Legit saw several posts that say something along the lines of “If you think about it, he’s not actually insane, he’s just a kid”. I’m sorry, but it was directly stated in the manga that sooner or later, all dungeon lords go insane. Marcille was a mess after just one day, meanwhile Thistle has been living in this nightmare for thousand years, in addition to having so much more trauma and responsibilities fucking him up.

He’s obviously way to young for all this bullshit, but he’s not a literal child. Give him some credit.

(While we're at it, I'm politely encouraging/proposing you to write more Thistle x reader - there's so devastatingly little of this type of content. Preferably bottom!Thistle... ahem. You didn't hear me say that.)

GOD MAYBE ONE DAY IF I HAVE TIME.

Dude anon you’re so fucking woke for this. Like. Thistle is crazy. He’s insanely smart and strategic and like. HIS TRAUMA. IT RUNS SO DEEP. He is not just some kid or a bratty child at ALL

like in my mind the way he behaves is like a pretty common trauma response (mixed with the paranoia from all the shit of being dungeon lord). He’s avoiding any type of personal growth and instead focusing on every little outside detail he can control which makes him super emotionally and mentally stunted in a way. Does that make sense

I honestly wonder if people will keep up the “thistle is baby” stuff when it’s revealed in the anime he’s been executing golden kingdom members. 💀 he’s literally keeping these people alive and TERRORIZING THEM. IN THE SAKE OF “FINDING DELGAL” dude his mind is just. Paranoia soup like I said earlier.

(I’m satisfied w him getting his desires eaten only because he’s so far gone mentally there’s no sort of redemption for him. Like Mithrun tried the hard way and Laios tried to be kind but NEITHER WORKED. Thistle. Man. He’s so. Yeah.)

[sporksaber]

I have never really liked sasusaku, but arranged marriage sasusaku au. Writing as the thought comes to mind so they may not be endgame.

So sakura comes from The merchant clan. The harunos are super important to the village and its really important not to piss them off. At 6 years old sakura starts insisting she wants to be a ninja and her grandmother, the clan matriarch, agrees that she can join the academy and become a ninja if she does well.

The uchiha meanwhile, are approaching the point of no return with their political instability. And then they hear that the granddaughter of the Haruno head is now training as a ninja and they see the perfect way to reestablish a foothold in the villages power structure and a buffer between them and danzo.

So 6 year old sakura ends up at dinner at the uchihas to meet sasuke. She hates him. He's a spoinled brat who keeps hiding behind his mom and loudly whining about anything and everything, and little sakura was very mature for her age. She has a few nice moments pf interacting with itachi about the academy before sasuke realizes his brother's attention isnt on him and gets between them, but all the other adults dismiss her completely and dont even properly speak to her.

Sakura decides she hates all of them.

The arrangement goes through.

(Mikoto is not happy about it, her baby is only 6. But she figures that it's not set in stone since a proper engagement cant happen until theyre 16 and a traditional marriage has to wait until 19. The haruno also dont fully expect it to go that far and are fully aware that the uchiha are trying to gain advantage in the village, but theyre ready to milk this for all its worth. Itachi thinks it's adorable. The uchiha elders dont care how it ends up as long as they get what they want. Danzo is furious and the third is staying out of it (because he sucks) while the other clans are biding their time until they see how this is going to go.)

Sakura being engaged(to be engaged) to sasuke does change her dynamic at the academy a bit. She does have other kids who mess with her at first, but its shut down by sasuke and some other aolder uchiha. This pisses sakura off because while it wasnt a battle she wanted to fight, that didnt mean he coild fight it for her. She befriends ino on accident and encourages her friends crush on sasuke because she does Not want him. His fiance hating him kind of puts a damper on ino's crush though.

The engagement is enough to keep the massacre from happening.

Sasuke doesnt like sakura in the way that he doesnt realize he kind of likes her. At some point her getting mad at him makes his heart flutter. Also, uchiha are possessive by nature and he sees her as his (the reason why he stepped in when other kids were making fun of her).

The other uchiha at the academy think its the funniest shit in the world even though they would never let that kind of slight towards the main family slip in any way. If you find sakura having one of her onesided arguments with sasuke because he was following her or something you can also find several older uchiha kids making aggressive eye contact with eachother, mentally daring eachother to slip up so they can laugh without worrying about someone snitching. (There is a rare occasion where shisui, who often volunteers as the uchiha-haruno liason, is found actually laughing his ass off at their antics. The other uchiha still dont laugh though, because being blackmailed by shisui is way worse than getting chewed out by an elder.)

Their engagement is known among the clans and the civilian politicians, but its not exactly common knowledge. Not everyone knows. Naruto doesnt know, and he still jas a massive crush on sakura.

So team 7's genin dynamic now becomes sakura hates sasuke who likes sakura but more than that just knows theyre going to be together forever because that's how its always been, sasuke hates naruto because hes an idiot who has a massive crush on sakura, who also hates him because he's an idiot who has a massive crush on her. And naruto sees sasuke as his ultimate rival (just in ninja, he straight up does not realize that sasuke likes sakura. He thinks theyre just wierd friends the way her and ino are kind of wierd.).

Sakura and sasuke are able to quietly sit next to eachother without issue by the time theyre graduating, theyre frequently together whenever sakura isnt with ino. Thr sevond naruto shows up an argument immidiently starts though.

In kakashi's romance novel language, its a classic enemies to lovers love corner set up. And kakashi is Invested. He thinks this is the funniest shit ever.

Now onto graduation. Im dropping the wierd kidnapping expired milk plot. The narusasu kiss still happens though. Naruto pranks kakashi, kakashi says he hates them and gets himself added to sakura's List.

Sakura likes hanging out with ino and learning chakra theory and does not answer her dislikes or goals for the future (which are, respectivly, marrying sasuke and not marrying sasuke). Sasuke likes his brother and tomatoes, dislikes naruto and people trying to take what's his, and wants to takeover the police force. Naruto likes ramen and sakura, dislikes the three minutes ot takes for ramen to cook and sasuke, and is going to become hokage.

The bell test goes pretty much the same as canon in that they fail the first part, except this time sakura and sasuke have a onesided argument early on, sakura's genjutsu is some flavor of her actually being married to sasuke and she starts gagging when she breaks it (and she does break it, she's been put under genjutsu by other uchiha before), and sasuke tries to start a brawl with naruto when he claims he's gonna get the second bell for sakura. Naruto is tied to a pole, sakura and sasuke feed him, they pass the test.

Kakashi is promptly accosted by first his cute kohai itachi (who wants him to take training his brother seriously) and then a haruno contingent (who want him to take training sakura seriously). He then meets the other new instructers to bemoan his cute students and their families only to be told he needs to take training them seriously. No one understands him.

(He goes to bed with the image in his mind of kushina and minato yanking him aside in the market to make fun of him and then tell him to take training naruto seriously. Not even his own brain understands him.)

Im trying to think ahead and decide where the funniest moment for naruto to find out that sakura and sasuke are engaged. And what ideas would be good for the time skip because i dont like the timeskip and sasuke's not defecting anyway.

Ive decided earlier is better.

The first month of training is always d ranks. So there's some training but mostly kakshi kicks back to make fun of them as the pull weeds and chase cats. On one such mission kakashi is laser focused in on them as the secret comes out. He wishes he had popcorn.

So naruto is bumbling around and knocks into sakura, who is caught by sasuke. Naruto turns to start apologizing while sakura revs up to start yelling at him when the old lady theyre working for calls them "such a cute pair." Naruto starts yelling because theyd be a cuter pair, sakura starts yelling because Gross, and then sasuke is like, "well she's my fiance."

Naruto sputters and sakura groans. She tells the old lady that theyre not technically engaged yet, but is mostly drowned out by naruto and sasuke's ensuing brawl.

Kakashi watches for as long as he could before the damage they were causing became too much and he was forced to step in. Sakura just wants to dissapear.

Now naruto's sitting there with some comedically sized bruises, crying and asking if its true. Sakura sighs and says yes and he colapses to the ground.

Its all very dramatic.

Cue uchiha family+team dinner, which sasuke finally agreed to because he wants to be like, look at my family with My Fiance. The only time Kakashi has ever been on time to anything because he doesnt want to miss a second.

Sakura is already there talking pleasantly to itachi about chakra pathways (itachi has been getting her books since she was little, i dont think i ever mentioned that. Itachi still thinks they are adorable and is fine with bribing her to come over with increasingly rare books). Sasuke eventually stopped trying to force them not to interact after the first few years and is fine with it as long as he is also sitting directly next to them.

Kakashi is giggling to himself as naruto is ushered in by mikoto still looking shell shocked. His entire world has been turned on its head.

Dinner starts formally and then drifts into casual conversation. Sasuke makes eyecontact with naruto and scoots closer to sakura, who just gives him a wierd look before ignoring him. Naruto makes a noise like a dying cat.

Mikoto pulls him into conversation, smiling serenly (he's so much like kushina). He says some things that are red flags. Eventually after he mentions that he has a hard time buying groceries sakura offers to go with him in the name of team solidarity. Sasuke promptly offers to also go, "you hate shopping," "if its bc we're a team then the whole team should go."

So they go shopping. And the entire time sasuke is trying to mess with naruto subtly while sakura glares at him because he's being clingy like he is to itachi. Sakura is explaining how to choose produce and calories and nutrients and raising a disparaging eyebrow anytime a vender tries to say something about naruto being there. (The harunos are not ninja, they can say what they want.) Naruto is torn between giving her his full attention and bristling at sasuke's behaviour. Overall it's a very fun trip.

This brings us to the wave arc. Same as originally, naruto demands a cool mission and the hokage agrees (once again, theres some extra political moves going on. The og version of the team doesnt have strong political power). In comes tazuna.

Their sendoff has a bit more fanfare this time, with itachi and mikoto saying goodbye to sasuke and itachi giving sakura a new book and some snacks for the team.

When sakura first see the puddles she looks at kakashi but he shushes her. Literally. She is offended.

The two ninja pop out and "kill" kakashi. Sakura falls back into protective position and casts her own genjutsu. Naruto freezes and sasuke takes out one ninja and kakshi pops back up to take care of the other.

It continues like canon. Zabuza shows up, sakura's once again on defence, kakshi is caught and then the boys free him, haku spirits away an unconcious zabuza. They get to tazuna's with sakura taking lead and the boys carying kakashi because she's the only one who knows medical information. (A note: with the uchiha clan alive sakura and sasuke are already aware of kakashi's eye, and sakura has been briefed on what to do with chakra exhaustian.)

Sasuke takes this moment to continue taunting naruto with the fact he's engaged to sakura. Sakura does not appreciate sasuke's praise as a tool to mess with naruto. Tazuna is very confused.

I think kakashi continuing with the mission at this point is out of spite towards everyone who assumed hed be a bad teacher, might as well prove them right.

Kakashi goes to teach them tree walking but sakura and sasuke already know. He moves them to waterwalking, which sakura gets very quickly and is then sent on guard duty. Its at this point that the feelings of isolation naruto has really hits home. Not only are they engaged theyve had years more training than him.

Sakura talks trade routes and infrastructure with tazuna. She also helps carry heavy things with chakra enhanced arms. (I dont remember what fic i originally saw this in, but i love the image of sakura casually picking a steel beam that it usually takes 4 to 6 men to carry as they watch in awed confusion. Im definitly going to give her an oversized weapon later.)

The big moment of divergence here is that i want haku to live, so so does zabuza. So sakura, with her merchant family's knowledge that a jounin might know but a genin never would, speaks up naruto style, "instead of dealing with thugs like gato who are inevitably going to double cross you, wouldnt you want the strength of a village again?" zabuza gets pissed before sakura reveals that theres anlther coup forming with strong backers.

Ive lost steam at this point, rapid fire.

The invasion still happens during the chunin exams because i want the 3rd to die. The uchiha are able to cement their new goodwill status in the village and sakura naruto and sasuke are on civilian duty during the battle.

I think itd be funny to still break up the team. So sakura gets promoted. Theres some political stuff that goes into it (a wedge between her and sasuke is a bonus to those who are still against the uchiha clan) but also she did well and tsunade has a minimum she needs to fill.

Tsunade mercs danzo prerty early on too.

Post chunin itachi takes naruto shopping while sakura is busy, sasukes is pissed. Cue brotherly bonding.

At the end of wave the whole team started getting touchier with eachother (started by sasuke clinging to sakura to prove he could and progessing to reassure naruto that he was a teammate they care about.

At some point after they all start displaying casual affection between eachother shisui starts a rumor that all 3 are dating.

With sakura busy with chunin training sai is put onto their team. It takes awhile for them to get used to it.

Naruto and sai become roommates.

They have study sessions at naruto's place because he'll need better knowledge of politics if he's going to become hokage.

Sasusaku is endgame.

Im dome for now.

[11queensupreme11]

Queen how does it feel to be a genius?

Girl, I'm here, reading and being so 😈

(Queen, I almost made this anonymous cause... I'm really horny? And I didn't know!?)

Cause you know I'm a Poseidon's bitch but also uncle Hades you're doing a pretty good job with my girl you the reason she forgets about blondes

Like, having sex (that was sex, no matter if you say it wasn't) without penetration cause he knows he'd keep doing it, no matter what the consequences are?

*horny grip*

(Hades, making Percy cum with his finger the moment Poseidon enters... He doesn't stop and Percy is just squirting while telling Poseidon to not see...)

My girl would be having the time of her life with them, good for her

Now, in my mind, Hades makes a party and invites Poseidon, just to have his child distracting him meanwhile he's licking Percy in the other room

Now, Percy sleeping in Poseidon and Hades tits? Girl, leave some for the rest

Also, is the knowledge SHE IS STILL WET WHILE HER FATHER TAKES HER TO HOME

Percy just prays that nothing comes down her cause she doesn't have panty (cue to Hades masturbating to them) and Poseidon being 🤨 cause he knows his brother's niece kink but like, he wouldn't dare... Right?

Now, if I was writing fanfiction about your fic? Poseidon would sit her down on his dick and "teach" her about being pure and not letting lost herself to lust

Poor Percy ends trembling and crying to the end of it

But I'm not (?) So I'm just giggling at your work and encouraging Poseidon to make SOMETHING!

I knew it was going to be good, but no do good, you throw me back to my Wattpad era

Also, Loki panicking cause he lost her and what if she ends up participating in the orgy? That would be karma right there

Loki: fortunately, you didn't do anything that day, right?:D

Percy: haha yes nothing happens... At the party

Loki: why are you so specific?🤨

Now I'm wondering how they are going to be? He's a crazy bitch, and we know he doesn't care about her opinion, so I'm picturing him fighting her and kissing her until she really wants something

But also, right now he's in the friendzone™ (a Chad somewhere had a chill), he's her best friend (kinda)

He could enter to her changing her clothes and just found that she's pissed about him no knocking (like her asking if he saw her piss? Girl, your priorities are kinda a mess, kick him out and then ask) he needs to fight for her to see him something different

(Thor is laughing internally cause it is karma)

The fight scene was so funny, Percy really said: you look like shit, let me treat you like one

Loki's crush on her cause she is just as chaotic as him, her just has the world around her finger and isn't afraid of using it

I heard him fall when she was "I know how to count :D" he was loving her gremlin era

I love all the yandere but Loki is dear to me (never as dear as Poseidon but close) cause he's so funny and just makes Percy to be herself again and loving it

Queen, loving your work as always thanks so much for the update and remember we love Nico :D

YEAH HADES WAS DOING ALL THAT HE COULD TO HOLD HIMSELF BACK CUZ HE KNEW THE SECOND HIS DICK GOES IN HER, HE'S GONNA LOSE IT 🥵

also.... i can see how much you like loki from this ask..... unfortunately, there's something you need to be warned about: loki is not what he seems so be careful 😔😔😔

[vacantgodling]

ridiculous romcom idea:

mc is a guy who’s really awkward with romantic partners. he wants a relationship but is a bit naive and has rose colored lenses etc etc. throughout high school, college, and his early adult life, every time he’s managed to have a crush or confess or even get a partner, they always end up leaving him. but it’s not just that they leave: it’s who they leave him for.

enter person b. playboy extraordinaire and always manages to steal mc’s partners or crushes and usually sleeps with them.

around late 20s, after another affair discovered with his partner sleeping with person b, mc has had ENOUGH and decides on a drunk night out with friends when he sees person b that he’s gonna confront them. they end up getting into a shouting match, a few fists are thrown, and they both end up in a jail cell over night or smthn.

afterwards, they end up driving home together once they’re released on bail, mc apologizes for getting so heated and person b is like nah i’ve been wondering if you’d ever punch my lights out for years now. in taking person b home, mc realizes they live literally down the hall from each other.

person b says he’ll leave mc alone and they part. mc thinks this’ll be the start of his new life. they don’t see each other for awhile, but mc finds it hard to get in the game, and after a heavy drinking night with friends, ends up stumbling back to his apartment and collapses on b’s doorstep. b hears the thud, opens the door and is like ?? and finds drunk ass mc. b had a person over but he interrupts his night to make sure mc gets home safe. back in mc’s apartment, mc ends up being a messy drunk and complains about how he’ll never find anyone and love is a sham he should just whore himself out like b cuz at least he won’t be alone.

it ends with mc bursting into drunk hysterics and b awkwardly trying to comfort him. in comforting, one thing leads to another and they end up making out on his couch—the person b was with before forgotten. mc has never Done much before so it’s a surprise when he’s the one who reaches for b’s junk and b finds it hard to resist until he’s like listen ur drunk and i don’t want to do this if you’re gonna wake up and hate me again. kisses mc’s head and leaves—mc feels rejected again and cries himself to sleep on the couch.

the next day b comes by and checks on mc and asks if he’s doing ok. brings hang over remedies and asks him if he remembers last night. mc replies that he doesn’t really remember, just remembers feeling sad. b is a bit tight lipped but doesn’t enlighten mc on what happened.

in another twist of events mc ends up finding out that even though he feels like his life is shit bc he doesn’t have love to complete the picture, b’s life has love and sex but is completely a mess. he keeps getting pushed out of his industry of choice and is struggling with rent. when mc finds out he’s like hey why don’t we come to an agreement: i help you with your life and a job and you help me in romance.

so they start spending time together and helping each other so it goes from enemies to friends to the buried crush feelings that mc didn’t realize he had come full force when b comes back from an interview saying he got the job. he’s so happy for him he could kiss him! but… why would he want to do that?

meanwhile, even though b has been doing a great job as wingman, mc finds that he’s just not really into the dates or purposefully sabotages them just to spend time with b. b ends up noticing but doesn’t say anything immediately. things come to a head when b’s new job asks him to relocate to a different branch in a different city and mc encourages him to go. they have a get together at mc’s place and once friends leave mc (sober) ends up crying after b closes the door to his apartment. he realizes he doesn’t want b to go but he doesn’t want to be selfish. b hears him and comes back into the apartment but instead of mc drunkenly taking the lead, b is the one who calmly and gently comforts mc but also kisses him first. mc melts into it and they end up having passionate sex.

afterwards mc admits to b that he’s fallen in love with him and he doesn’t want him to go and b says he knows—then reveals that he’s been in love with mc for a few years now. not the entire time they’ve known each other but for a Good Bit. mc asks him why he didn’t tell him and b was like seriously you hated me and for good reason. i didn’t deserve you and i still don’t. but mc shuts that down and says that he prejudged him and knows how that if he took the time to get to know him instead of chasing what he thought he should want in life maybe they would’ve at least been friends sooner.

determinedly they decide they’ll make it work.

long distance for awhile, mc has jealousy issues because he’s scared b will meet someone else or someone will throw themselves at him and mc can’t stop them, but when b surprises mc by showing up a month early for (holiday) in person so they can spend it together mc realizes that b is actually like. their life.

and yeah relationship happy from there PFF

[lynxindisguise]

@spindrifters and I have an absolutely ironclad take on wolfstarbucks, which is that it actually starts as prongsfoot, but like… sirius and james simply cannot figure out the Logistics.

because neither of them are tops, but they both desperately want to be service tops for each other. and they do that like awkwardly positive and encouraging thing that leads absolutely nowhere.

james is being SO complimentary that sirius starts doing bratty shit because he just wants to be scolded for being a bad dog, but james fleamont potter isn’t going to do that!! james is a bad dog enabler!!

meanwhile our prey animal over here sort of wants to fear for his life, but do you think sirius black is going to make that happen?? not to his perfect precious prongsie!!!

anyway remus walks in while they’re faffing about, and really, it’s just another mess for him to clean up. just another day in the life of the ever-so-slightly more hinged marauder. so he’s like “fuck’s sake” and tops them both.

which is a lot of work for our poor lanky wolfboy, and his creaky little hips give out, and then he has both james and sirius offering to make him feel better, and probably everyone cries the end.

[captainpains]

Just a Little Courage (Tup x reader)

Cute little trash for Tup! For the @clonexreaderbingo. I was so excited to write this! Enjoy 💕

Promt: “Kiss me”

Warnings: gn reader, underconfidence, alcohol consumption, 501st are trying to be wingmen, dubious consent (?), bad writing.

~~~~~

Tup wasn’t shy. 

He was, by all means, a very confident soldier, if a little bit awkward. He was very creative when it came to his tactics. It seemed that he had the making of a fine ARC trooper. He was a little hard on himself, but he was confident enough in his abilities.

However, Tup was very shy around you, a mechanic.

He would awkwardly stay off to the side and only listen to conversations that the others had with you. His brothers would try to push him to speak, but he couldn’t. He was just a stuttering mess around you, a puddle on the floor that couldn’t even look you in the eye.

“I’d just ask that mechanic out already! The worst that can happen is being told no.” Some brothers would try to encourage. But to Tup, he thought you’d laugh in his face and hate him for the rest of his life. He was a confident person 

“Tup!” Jesse yelled as he walked over to the table at. “Hey! Can we get another round for our hero here?!”

“I’m no hero.” Tup replied with a grin.

“You’re too modest!” Fives yelled over the music. 

The whole table chuckled as Tup sat down. He didn’t go to 79's often, but whenever he did, it was to celebrate a victory with his brothers. Tup grabbed a drink from a server droid moving past them. He took a sip as his brothers joked about something that happened on the last campaign. 

Tup was mindlessly scanning the dance floor. But he nearly choked on his drink when he saw you standing by the bar. He had never seen you here before.

“Ya alright Tup?” Jesse asked, slapping his back to help expel whatever was causing him to cough so much.

Jesse followed his gaze and grinned mischievously. He leaned over to Fives, pointing you out to him. Fives got a shit eating grin, then he started to wave you over to their table, shouting your name over the loud music. You noticed and waved, before starting to walk over. Tup meanwhile wanted to be swallowed by the ground, and debated if he should try to hide under the table..

“Hey, guys! What are you up to?

“Just celebrating Tup’s heroics!” Jesse said, slapping his back.

“Oh, I heard about that! You really put your life on the line. You should get a medal!” You gave Tup a little nudge with your arm. 

He felt his face heat up. He looked down, staring into his glass to avoid the conversation.

“Ah, our brother’s too modest for his own good.” Jesse said, patting his shoulder.

“You wanna sit with us?” Fives ask.

“Sure,” you replied.

You sat down on the other side of the booth from him. Tup kept looking down, wishing to be swallowed by the floor. 

As the night went on, people came and left the booth. Until it was only the two of you. You and Tup sat in silence for a while. He was trying to think of what to say, when you broke the silence.

“Tup, Do you wanna dance?”

Tup nodded dumbly, allowing you to take his hand.

You dragged him onto the dance floor, staying near the edge of the dancing bodies. You grabbed his other hand and started to do a funny little dance. You both laughed a little at it, maybe because of how awkward you both were. As you danced. You both started to feel more comfortable. You got closer and closer together.

“Kiss me?” You asked him, out of the blue.

Tup was utterly stunned. Was he dreaming? You reached up and rested your hand on his cheek, thumb storking his tattoo. He had to be dreaming.

“Are you drunk?” Tup asked, frowning. That had to be the only way that you would want for him to kiss you.

“No,” you replied.

Tup scanned you, looking for signs of intoxication. You weren’t off balance, your speech wasn’t slurred, and you were still very coordinated. 

“A-are you sure?” He asked, uncertain.

You nodded, looking into his eyes.

He slowly leaned in until his lips gently touched yours.

Maybe it was the alcohol that gave him the courage to finally kiss you.

[shen-liqin]

I’M IN SCIENCE CLASS RN BUT I GOT AN IDEA FOR AN MXTX CROSSOVER

So I read in a meta post that it was mentioned in canon SVSSS that Airplane bro has written other stallion novels and that PIDW is just his most successful.

What if prior to writing all these stallion novels, he wrote MDZS and TGCF. It was smth he genuinely enjoyed doing but it didn’t really earn him cash bc it didn’t do well (IMPOSSIBLE I KNOW) so he kinda forgot about them. Both stories were finished though.

Bruh what if Wei Ying and Lan Zhan end up in SVSSS bc WY was messing with some talismans and ended up transporting them there. Meanwhile Xie Lian and Hua Cheng end up in SVSSS because of a mishap in Heaven.

I can already imagine Qinghua shaking when he sees these four and getting slightly emotional because they were created when he was still hopeful and somewhat naive regarding how he would get his income.

Shen Yuan is internally fanboying because as a dedicated fan critic, he also read MDZS and TGCF and greatly enjoyed it. Like yes my man is oblivious as fuck regarding romance as a whole, but he could care less about the main pairing being gay. He was only reading them for the lore.

WY and LZ are lowkey panicked but I can see WY somehow getting along well with SY because they end up bonding over being constantly wrecked by their husbands.

XL and HC are confused and kinda wary but they warm up to Bingqiu and Wangxian after a bit. Binghe prolly tries to give XL some cooking advice with HC lowkey breathing down his neck because if Binghe ends up unintentionally insulting XL then they’re definitely gunna have a problem.

Ngl I can kinda see Hua Cheng and Lan Zhan kinda doing their own thing in comfortable silence because if their mutual understanding of each other in terms of devotion. Binghe joins them from time to time when all three of their husbands hang out by themselves. Like I can imagine Lan Zhan composing a new song, Hua Cheng making a mini statue, and Binghe making everyone a meal.

Meanwhile Shen Yuan and Wei Ying end up convincing Xie Lian to do all sorts of ridiculous shit with them. If you guys are questioning why Shen Yuan would agree to any of this my answer is simple, this man may be a lofty immortal but he’s still a shut-in from the 21st century. He has a lot of semi-pent up crackhead energy.

Xie Lian is confused but he’s enjoying himself so he doesn’t question it and is just enjoying having some new friends. Wei Ying just wants to encourage the chaos.

WAIT FUCK WHAT IF WEI YING MEETS QINGHUA-

Lan Zhan and Mobei-jun are going to be drinking vinegar because if their husbands end up having a conversation then everyone is screwed.

Wei Ying is a genius, but Qinghua deadass created the mechanics of MDZS, TGCF, and PIDW. My man has a shit ton of knowledge and he’s gunna use it. Pretty sure Qinghua and Wei Ying end up doing most of the with figuring out how to send everyone back to their of worlds.

[amazingmsme]

thank you for providing water (content) in the desert (starkid fandom)

I’ll try to add to the Hatchetfield stuff! I feel like a lot of lautski study sessions end with Steph getting way too bored and way too distracted looking at her silly bf. I mean what is she supposed to do? Not mess with him while he’s lost in a ramble about the topic? Alternatively, Pete knows that Steph needs a bit of a motivator sometimes. She can get really frustrated and in her own head, shutting down and becoming somewhat cagey out of frustration, so he tries to snap her out of it by making her smile and blush, saying a bunch of really genuine compliments while poking at her. (Pete usually tends to be more teasy, taking from his brother, but when him and Steph are alone they get So soft ugh)

In different situations they get very playful with it, Pete grew up battling in tickle fights, while Steph just enjoys messing with him. This sometimes causes quite the commotion and Steph will leave the room afterward to get water or smth and will see Ted and he’ll go “you kick his ass?” “You know it.” and they fist bump or some shit lol

forgive me I don’t really write out headcanons ever, but I tried 😭 hopefully this is something!

You’re very welcome! The drought is finally coming to an end!

GSMAJDK THIS IS SO CUTE! I love their lil study dates that slowly turn into real dates! Pete tries so hard to try to make things interesting to keep her engaged because he knows that school & learning isn’t fun for everyone. So he tries to explain things in a way he thinks she’ll understand & meanwhile she’s just so smitten with him but he’s lost in thought & doesn’t even notice the literal heart eyes she’s giving him! They’re the cutest couple in the world your honor!

Ok but hear me out: Pete incorporating tickling into their studying! For every question she gets wrong, he gets to “punish” her. But then he starts to notice that she’s purposefully getting things wrong & he’s like “ok this clearly isn’t working Steph. How ‘bout I only tickle you if you get a question right?” & she’s blushing & stuttering & trying to say how that’s not fair because she doesn’t wanna admit that she actually likes it! Even if he already knows she does

Of course sometimes she just doesn’t feel like studying no matter how fun Peter tries to make it & she tickles him until he agrees they can have a break. & then she spends that break wrecking him😂 a lot of their study sessions end up very giggly & after they’re done & come out in the living room Ted’s like “you two have got to be the loudest fucking studiers in the world” but he’s smirking & winks at them to let them know he doesn’t actual mind. & kxvakdfh he totally encourages Steph to wreck his lil baby bro & gives her high fives & fist bumps when she does. & he’ll drop a useful tip for her every once in a while. Peter catches on when Steph finds the spot on the small of his back because only Ted knows about that. He swears he’s gonna kill him for it (he does not)

Just. Lautski study dates that quickly turn into tickle fights. You agree. Reblog.

[hoper-n-dreamer]

Little Ninja

Pairing : CBI team× reader

You entered the CBI building with the biggest nervous smiles you could conjure, after all you were the newest member of Lisbon's team. You were a young medic with a dream to help anyone who needs it. On entering, Lisbon welcomed you with a smile and introduced you to everyone. Van Pelt made sure you felt welcomed seeing how nervous you were , and started showing you around.

"and this is the couch where Jane usually sleeps"

Jane, on the other hand was trying to observe and figure you out.

Weeks passed, and the team slowly realised you were basically sunshine in human form, always ready to lend a hand, to encourage a sad fellow and to patch up Jane when he got his nose punched by angry suspects.

"You must be tired of patching up my nose by now, huh Y/N?"

"Actually, I am tired of you being stupid and getting your nose punched in the first place, please be careful the next time Mr. Jane."

They also realised you were quite sensitive and your eyes showed your feelings. Lisbon made sure you were always protected during a mission as the team thought being a medic you would have less combat experience making you a liability sometimes.

"Y/N stay near the car with Jane alright, don't come near even when the shooting starts, we will call you when we need you, got it?"

"Yes Agent Lisbon."

"Agent Rigsby, why does Agent Lisbon treats me like I am some untrained person who needs to be protected everytime we are out on a mission?"

"She is just protective of you, you know. She cares about you, you are new and inexperienced in the field."

"Yup, basically the baby of the group." Cho added.

But one unfortunate day, a really dangerous perp got loose in the CBI building essentially tying and locking Lisbon's team in the bullpen except you since the perp didn't know about the newest addition to the team and you were busy in the evidence room during all this.

When you entered the floor , you noticed something was way off, and quickly realised that a perp was set to be taken to trial that day by another agent who was currently lying unconscious on the floor. You had read about the perp, so you took out your gun and started slowly canvassing the floor and then realised the noise coming from the bullpen which sounded like someone threatening Jane to shut his mouth, which seemed about correct. The bullpen had another fire exit door , so you took that door to enter there without the perp noticing and opened up Cho and Rigsby's ties who subsequently opened up Lisbon's, Jane's and Van Pelts' , but the perp soon returned and seeing Jane in his sight he drew the gun, but before he could shoot, you kickboxed his neck so hard that the perp fell down, with all your anger that was bubbling inside, you started beating the shit out of him.

"How dare you hurt the people I care about!"

3 punches in, he dropped unconscious.

"Never mess with someone who can break your bones while naming them."

Meanwhile all the teammates although in absolute shock, were impressed as well. They realised how wrong they were to underestimate you.

"Not bad Y/N" Lisbon smiled proudly.

Rigsby and Van Pelt had their mouths agape in shock, Cho was in his usual stoic form but with the slightest of smiles.

Patrick was so proud and grateful of you that he named you his Little Ninja.

"Wow, never thought you had it in you. You are like a ninja. From now on, you are coming with me as my personal bodyguard in every case."

You felt so much confident after hearing them, and knew that you had found your place in their team.

Who knew that their little cinnamon roll was actually a little ninja.

[stargazeraldroth]

Poor Ink is gonna get separated from Gin no matter what, huh-

Reaper!!! We do need to bring him into this, the poor man is lonely- I just. Forgot about him in this AU until you mentioned him, whoops- But! Yes, he is Absolutely working overtime because of all the shit that’s gone wrong- He’s prooobably not too happy about that, and he’s definitely investigating with the intention of having Words with whoever the hell is responsible for this mess… The big question is when he gets dragged into everything. Hm.

When you think about it, poor Error is probably being knocked for a bit of a loop in this AU, himself… Having to help Ink? Someone else causing more destruction than him? I almost wonder if his attempts to cheer up Ink might also be attempts to cheer himself up, haha.

Yeah, I’m not one to nitpick myself- If I don’t like something, I just leave the page, heh. But it does get very frustrating when it’s always your favorites that are demonized for… No real reason, aside from making the real bad guys look better? Personality swap really is what’s going on there half the time… And! Uuugh I knooowww, why is it always Ink, people??? The poor guy just wants to protect the Multiverse and feel things! People’s insistence on making it because he’s soulless feels… Off, to me, like you said- It isn’t something he has control over, and how determined people are to make his soullessness and subsequent consumption of his paints out to be evil and The Worst Thing Ever is… Well, as someone who struggles with emotions and takes medication, it makes me a bit uncomfortable, myself. I do recall the posts you’re talking about, though! Nothing specific off the top of my head, but they did resonate with me.

I mean, realistically? People don’t care about Reaper and Life (and the Stars, let’s be honest) as much because they don’t have blatantly tragic backstories that they have allowed to completely shape their current sense of self. Nightmare causes a surplus of negativity and despair almost to achieve a sense of revenge for not being as appreciated as Dream, and he pretty much refuses to let himself heal from his trauma as a child. Error is, however much people try and act like FGoD is canon to his story (it isn’t), a psychotic manchild with the vibes of a god complex and the power to back it up, who pretty much loathes everything that isn’t exactly as he wants it, and has been horrendously affected by his extensive isolation in the antivoid and his past issues (whether people think he remembers them or not) as Geno. Reaper and Life, meanwhile, while not always happy with their roles, also notably ARE NOT making it anyone else’s problem- There’s none of the “I can fix them” allure, I think, because, well, there’s nothing to fix. By all accounts, they’re incredibly stable for their situation and have long since adapted to any of the disadvantages coming from it. There’s nothing about how what Nightmare’s Gang and Error get up to would affect the Balance of Life and Death because there isn’t a perceived need to justify horrific actions taken by the Life Cycle duo, because they don’t commit horrific acts- Hell, Reaper resigns himself to an eternity of being touch starved to avoid the possibility of that!

Uuuhhh that got long sorry for the rant but basically- People aren’t as invested in Life and Reaper because they’re aren’t Edgy Enough for them, and also don’t have a need to have their lifestyles justified because they’re ultimately reasonable, stable people. Or something, haha.

Yes! Yes yes yes!!! People are sooo quick to jump on the Stars for “not acknowledging the necessity of negativity and destruction” enough or whatever, but only until it’s convenient for their favs- Then, it becomes a show of how Evil and Awful Ink must be, creating such horrible AUs that have deeply hurt the poor, innocent Bad Guys! Never mind that creating AUs has never once been shown to be something Ink does, and never mind that he only encourages Creators to do exactly that- Create. He doesn’t realistically have any control over what they do with the inspiration he gives them, but nooo, it’s definitely all Ink’s fault. It also definitely can’t be a result of them having free will and making their own choices, and it can’t be their fault that the consequences of their actions have caught up to them. Like, at least make up your mind people! Does Ink force the AUs to stay on a certain path to get “his desired results” or something (no, he doesn’t, that goes against who he is as a concept)? Because last I checked, he isn’t holding a fucking gun to Dust’s head and forcing him to kill his brother. That’s all on Dust himself. Does he somehow write “his desired results” into the codes and scripts of the AUs (no, because he doesn’t make the AUs)? Because if that’s the case and he did create the AUs and their scripts, why make it a possibility for them to hate him for that at all- Why give them the free will to do that, if he cares so much for “his scripts,” and why give them the ability to leave and cause problems in other AUs, disrupting those scripts? And that’s not even getting into how, if they make Dream the bad guy with Ink, they’ll be willing to just conveniently shuffle that aside whenever needed to hate on him for being “too positivity oriented” and not admitted how necessary negativity is… You know. The negativity they just condemned Ink for “creating.” I’m not sure if I’m making sense, I feel like I’m getting too frustrated to be truly coherent, but I definitely agree with you either way-

Don’t worry, I forget about them too (they feel like a very restrictive concept to me and don’t provide a lot of wiggle room, haha), but when I do remember them it’s always because people are vilifying Ink for being “Fate’s Favorite Child,” never mind that, even if an abuser’s favorite isn’t being physically abused and are, in a twisted way, loved, they can still be mentally and emotionally abused- What if Ink’s being infantilized and Fate never lets him make his own choices, removing his ability to truly be his own person and meet his own needs (that she might refuse to acknowledge)? What if she’s highly unstable and prone to emotionally tearing him apart if he does something she doesn’t like, leaving his self esteem in shreds? What if he’s always feeling like he’s walking on egg shells whenever she’s near because he never knows what could set her off, and what she could do when it inevitably happens? What if he never feels safe to express himself? What if she’s engaging in love bombing and guilt tripping and gaslighting, leaving him feeling uneven and unsure of reality? Even if he’s the favorite without being physically hurt, that doesn’t translate to good things, people! His state of being soulless doesn’t (or shouldn’t) diminish the horror that can stem from that position. Hell, if anything, it gives her something to hold over his head- Who’s to say she wouldn’t point out how freakish his soullessness and paints make him, only to, in the same breath, assure him that she won’t judge him like everyone else does? Just… Aaauuuggghhh, it annoys me! It annoys me so much!!!

Also what the FUCK since when has ERROR been a green flag? The hell???

Buddy if you’re bitchy then I’m Mega Bitchy, this stuff just. Gets to me. I’m with you, though, it’s the reason I largely prefer FGoC content- Usually, everyone is (relatively) in character, and Ink gets to keep his genuinely kindhearted bestie who cares about him and his well-being (AKA Dream). Like! Let my boys be friends who care for each other!!!

Long live the paintbrush! And yeah, that would definitely make this even more hellish for poor Ink… A constant reminder of what he sees as him at his worst, with no way to escape and no method of even going to that state himself to avoid processing all of this. He’s definitely overthinking it all and wondering if he was meant to get his paints in the first place- Was he meant to be as statue still as them, once? Was he meant to remain with them, standing silently? Just. He’s suffering so much, and every little feeling is magnified because he’s in the worst possible place he can be in.

Nightmare is sipping a martini and watching the Multiverse go to hell like he’s on vacation- Which, really, he kind of is! And he has Dream to thank for it! Sure, he might’ve wanted to rule the Multiverse, but seeing his do-no-harm, goody-two-shoes, holier-than-thou brother completely betray everything he stands for makes up for not being able to do that anymore very nicely.

🌧️ Rainy Anon 🌧️

RAINY WE'RE BACK IN BUSINESS, OH MY GOD- this is such a delayed response, I'm so sorry. Given how long it's been my responses might be like, complete garbage. But it's gonna be okay, it's fine.

Lol, don't worry Rainy, I forget about Reaper in most of my larger scale AUs too. I don't really focus much on him in general, like in Balanceswap, but I usually explain his absence with "He's busy doing Reaper things". I think it counts as a legitimate explanation. After all, death never stops, right? Maybe Reaper can get involved when the AUs get mass destroyed? Does that still happen in this AU? Like I said, it's been a while- I don't really remember what things were established and what things weren't. But if it does, I think something of that scale would be way too big for him to push off for later.

I can definitely see Error's attempts to cheer Ink up as a double intention, he's trying to cheer himself up and distract himself from the fact that someone's doing his job better than he is. To be fair, I imagine Ink would do something similar if someone were to, say, doa better job at protecting the AUs than him. Ink's just like "Don't think about being replaced, don't think about being replaced"

I feel like a way to make an FGOD story more interesting, while keeping some of the common elements people use, is having Ink be aware of the Balance... but so desensitized to it (and the ways of the Multiverse) that he just can't... sympathize with Error's inner conflict. He knows the Balance exists and how it works, he knows that destruction is a necessary counterpart to creation. The problem comes in the fact that, rather than him being soulless (I really do think people need to be a bit more creative with their reasons as to why Ink's a villain in these stories, aside from being soulless. I think I said this before, but using a condition he has no control over to villainize him seems... icky), he's been around long enough and has witnessed so many things concerning the Balance that he doesn't react to it anymore. Maybe there was a God of Destruction before Error, or a different God filling a different role (for example: Nim was the Guardian of both Positivity AND Negativity prior to creating the Twins), and they did something that essentially made the Balance turn against them and label them as a threat. Something I tend to use a lot for Ink is that, aside from being the Protector, he's kinda like the Balance's vessel. He enacts its will, so to speak. And being the Protector, he has to eliminate threats to the AUs (or the Multiverse), right? And if a fellow God becomes a threat, well... you see where that's going. Instead of making Ink's villainy come solely from a condition that affects how he thinks and behaves, I would have his negative character be a twisted way of trying to PROTECT Error from the inevitable consequences of trying to abandon his role.

Break-up for the wall of text.

Ink's soulless state can still be relevant! I'm not saying we should ignore that entirely. But like I said, being soulless affects how a person thinks and behaves, as seen with Flowey. That being said, being soulless is kinda like an equivalent to mental and/or personality disorders, and we know those don't just automatically make someone a bad person. Experiences have a big impact, too. So we can have his soulless state be influential in how he thinks and acts, but there needs to be MORE to his motives than something so... well, not to get controversial or sound self-righteous, but... stereotypical. If Ink's soulless state was replaced with something else, like an established disorder or condition, I think people would have a bigger issue with so many using that to villainize him.

So! Ink's soulless state makes it difficult for him to sympathize with Error's turmoil because, even with the paints, he still feels emotions differently. In terms of how he thinks, experiences, people. Experiences. Ink's mindset and way of thinking aren't set in stone, just the same as any other character. Using the idea that Ink's been around longer than everyone else has, he's experienced more than they have. Rather than him somehow not knowing the Balance exists, have him know something about the Balance that Error and the others DON'T. And if you wanna use the whole "Staying on script" thing, then give him a reason for it! Sure, maybe it's for his own amusement, but what if... and hear me out, I might sound a little crazy... there are consequences if an AU strays too far from the script?

Oh wait. That would give Ink some rationality and a considerable argument. And we can't have that! He's supposed to be evil incarnate to counter our precious little saint.

I don't want to dominate this ask with FGOD rambles, so I'll just leave it there. Also because I'm getting bored talking about my concept for an FGOD story, and for the record, I have no intention on writing it. It's just a concept for if I did write one while keeping some of the more iconic traditions (is that what they'd be called?) in the fanfics I have read.

I kinda have to disagree with you on this part, Rainy. I get where you're coming from, but out of the Star Sanses, Blue's the only one who doesn't have a tragic backstory. I mean, Ink's backstory is really nothing BUT tragedy. And that tragedy leads to his soulless state (which people villainize to hell and back), which shapes his personality. As for Dream, they're literally pulling the "His trauma was worse than yours" card. Dream's life wasn't perfect either, people. He was overworked by the villagers and emotionally manipulated by them to keep serving them. The twins experienced different forms of abuse and suffering, but they both suffered significantly. And remind you, they were 6. 6 YEARS OLD. And these people expect Dream to respond to the situation with perfect, flawless, god-level rationality and be able to resolve every single problem to have appeared in the world. Like... do you people even hear yourselves? Why are you putting all of the blame for Nightmare's suffering on a 6 YEAR OLD CHILD who was ALSO A VICTIM instead of the ACTUAL VILLAINS, aka the VILLAGERS? The ones who are actually adults and should be thinking rationally and know better? It's like... they're treating Nightmare and Error as these helpless, innocent victims who need to be coddled and can't get so much as a slap on the wrist for their trauma, and then use that same trauma to villainize the other two and give them the death sentence on account of simply existing.

I will agree with you about Reaper and Life, though. I don't know what happens with them tbh.

BUT YES PREACH IT RAINY! PREACH IT! In these AUs, they only care about Destruction and Negativity being able to freely exist until it can't be used to cater to their precious, untouchable favs. And maybe I'm starting to come across as condescending, but if you're going to put these double standards, then CALL THEM OUT ON THEM! From what I've seen, Ink and Dream and co. are always getting called out and criticized for double standards, but they're suddenly okay when Error or Nightmare has them? Also, I brought this up during the other asks about the False FGOD AU, but where's the proof? What's the argument they're using to convince everyone? Because without actual proof, it's all a game of He Said vs She Said. You can't just say "I'm actually the good guy and they're evil!" and expect everyone to just believe you instantly. That's... that's not how it works. They shame Blue and co. for blindly believing Ink, but if they don't blindly believe in Error and co., they're the bad guys for expressing doubt and being wary. Again, double standards. Also, loving how the Murder Trio can literally choose to murder people of their own free will (there are other ways to cause negative feelings), but god forbid Dream raises his voice at Nightmare even slightly, when Dream has completely justified reasons to be pissed with him too.

AGAIN, I DON'T HATE FGOD. I hate how it's frequently executed in this black-and-white vision, waters all the characters down to "Saint" or "Most Evil Person To Ever Be Conceptualized", and hardly has any logic to anyone's actions other than "This person is good and this one's evil". FGOD has so, so, SO much potential that keeps getting wasted because people just won't... branch off from the bare bones! It's an AU, it's a fanfic! Get creative! Get your hands messy! Try out different things!

Also, never ask me about Fate or Destiny. This goes for everyone. I don't know those two, I only know the Creators/Voices. And that's it. They basically fill the same roles regardless. But those are also good points about how Fate is also the real villain in this case, and how she influences and molds Ink into becoming a villain as well. Having Ink as a victim of abuse could be relatable for many people and provide more understanding as to why he acts the way he does. But noo, Ink's Evil Incarnate, he's allowed to have any sympathetic or relatable qualities, and if you do sympathize with him or see his points, you're a villain too!

LMFAO Error's such a red flag it even shows in his eyes. I'm- I'm actually writing a oneshot based on the "Red Flags" song for Errorink.

I gotta agree with you. Maybe I sound biased because Ink is my kin and comfort character, but I feel like FGOC content fleshes out the characters more and gives them dynamics. I actually need to start reading FGOC stuff again, does anyone have any recommendations? Also, Dream is one of the sweetest, genuinely nicest characters in the AU canon. Is it such a crime to let this angel be an angel. Why can't both twins be good, acknowledge that neither of them are perfect, and reconcile. Why do people insist on turning victims of the same abusers against each other.

I like how the conversation about the actual AU gets cleaved in half by our rants about how people portray characters, that's great. So much so that when I get to the part about the actual AU, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what we're talking about". At least, if Ink was just teleported back to his unfinished AU but didn't get his soul back, he'd eventually be able to just... shut down.

Fucking Nightmare. I love this pompous asshole so damn much.

[skin-bible]

Had a patient who couldn't make it to the bathroom

Unsanitary mentioned below

Ok so, he wasn't my patient, but I had helped him these last 3 days anyway. The NA who had the patient told me i was on my own basically (both before the accident and after). He got up and walked 5 feet from his bed (bed alarm was going off also which is what alerted me that he got up, worst fear is that he's gonna fall) before his diarrhea got the best of him, along with accidental urination. It was like a mud truck peeling out and I got splashed with it.

He was so mortified that this has happened to him, and apologizing for getting it on my pants and shoes, and my usual response is "hey, don't worry, this happens to everyone!" To which he responded "but not me." He was roughly 80 and was already depressed about his body degrading and missing out on so much in life.

So I led him to the bathroom to clean him up and tell him about the times I've shit myself accidentally and even the very first time it has happened to me. He responded "But you're so young" and I told him "I call IBS 'I Be Shittin' for a reason." And I told him about the other times people I've help before who hasn't quite made it to the bathroom themselves and how some of my incontinent patients were as young as 25. Some of my stories made him laugh.

The NA I mentioned came by in the middle of me cleaning him and made audible disgusted noises and gasping out "ohhh myyyy goooddddd". I shooed them away by telling them to do something else.

After I finished cleaning up him and the mess I fixed his bed and got a bedside commode in case he has another urgency, but encouraged him calling us first before getting up (fall risk). And I thanked him by name for letting me help him, which I do for all my patients, and tried to convince him he's not a bother.

Meanwhile there's people who complain and press shame into patients who do have accidents and dehumanize them. And I keep thinking about the times I've experienced working with them firsthand and it makes me embarrassed to work with them so I try to take over their patient care for them (which in turn adds to my stress).

Some people really don't deserve this job since they treat it like a burden.