#me; I have to get to bed also me; post some memes tho actually real quick

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[angstymdzsthoughts]

I promised that I would share the convo me and @time-flies-by​ had earlier today regarding the Maleficent AU post, so here it is!

-

time-flies-by Dude that Maleficent AU-

angstymdzsthoughts I knoooow

angstymdzsthoughts It got a bit dark on me

time-flies-by It did, but goddamn was it good!

angstymdzsthoughts Right? I'm super happy with it

time-flies-by As you should! It actually gave me chills

angstymdzsthoughts WWX goes to sleep in his husbands arms, happy and in love. Wakes up to that husband mutilating him Thank you!!!

time-flies-by The best part, is that LWJ doesn’t even see anything wrong with it. He’s just like, “it has to happen”

angstymdzsthoughts Yep! Just another part of getting married to him

time-flies-by WWX definitely leaves understanding Madam Lan a lot better.

angstymdzsthoughts Oof LWJ grows up around spouses who seem perfectly happy with life after losing their wings And his mother, who still had her wings, was miserable So he thinks hes actually helping to make WWX happier

time-flies-by Double oof WWX really doesn’t understand what he was getting himself into.

angstymdzsthoughts Oh my god other spouses try to warn him (in a quiet subtle way so their husbands don’t get upset)

angstymdzsthoughts All the Lans are taught that this is a special, intimate experience between spouses

angstymdzsthoughts I feel like Su She is jealous that LWJ got to experience that and is vindictively happy when WWX ran away

time-flies-by Oh my god, the Lans all brainwashed into thinking that the tight smiles, and the tears are signs of love, when in reality their spouse is trying so hard to not hate them. Soakxldowkenenw fuxking Su She

angstymdzsthoughts The spouses are all trapped. Oh wait

angstymdzsthoughts The "soulmate" thing only happens once or twice in a generation and Madam Lan had been the most recent before WWX so the spouse around who tries to warn him away is an old woman who has been married and trapped in the CR for life 55 years That makes it so much worse

time-flies-by Oh my god, imagine wwx accidentally runs into the the wing room, and is absolutely horrified to find all the wings there, so he goes to lwj and is all like “Lan Zhan? What’s this?” And LWJ just goes “don’t worry Wei ying, I’ll make sure that never happens to you.” And what he means is “I’ll make sure your grounding isn’t as painful as theirs.” And wwx trusts LWJ 100%, but then their own grounding happens.

angstymdzsthoughts OOF Oh my god just rip my heart out

angstymdzsthoughts All I can picture is WWX crying and calling LWJ a liar before he's silenced Most disturbing part is how gentle and loving LWJ is being while hes Removing His Husbands Limbs Soft little praises and telling WWX that they will be happy together now

angstymdzsthoughts Ohhh WWX is totally gonna blame himself if he saw the wings and didn't immediately run Gets to Yunmeng like 'how could I be so stupid to believe him'

time-flies-by Ooh especially if the spouses before him tried warning him too.

angstymdzsthoughts Yes Exactly

time-flies-by WWX: The signs were all there. . . There was a red flag everywhere!

angstymdzsthoughts The way WWX sees it is like that 'face eating leopard party' meme Everyone else is just plain horrified

time-flies-by Oof 😂

angstymdzsthoughts LWJ is crying in the CR asking what he did wrong Yunmeng Jiang is ready to start a war in order to get WWX his wings back

time-flies-by Omg yesssss The Lans are all clueless and offended because they see NOTHING wrong with their traditions.

angstymdzsthoughts Someone tries to put it in perspective for them. "How would you react if your spouse cut off your hands?" But the Lans dont get it and just dig their hole deeper. "Thats ridiculous! You Need hands! Wings are in no way a necessity."

time-flies-by Aish 😓

time-flies-by Yeah no, the Jiangs are definitely cutting all ties with the Lan after that.

angstymdzsthoughts The Lans argue that wings do nothing but make someone fickle and reckless and arrogant. They Need to be earth bound so they can learn stability and humbleness ... Oh my god... Horrible thought

time-flies-by Do tell

angstymdzsthoughts Some children of grounded spouses end up with wings too But they get them cut off when they are younger Should it be LXC or LWJ who use to have wings?

angstymdzsthoughts Spend their entire adolescence being ashamed of the wings and eagerly waiting for the day they can be removed

time-flies-by Oooh maybe LXC?

angstymdzsthoughts The most recent wings added are a pair of small white ones maybe half the size of WWXs and the sight of them make him run out because he may be sick

time-flies-by Oh god, what if there’s like, a whole room just full of children’s wings.

Angstymdzsthoughts Of course the Lans would keep them Ohhh WWX hears people talking about the grounding ceremony that will follow the honeymoon and has no idea what their all talking about He asks and the Lans explain that it's a sacred ceremony between spouses that truly binds the new spouse to the Lan family WWX is like- oh wow that sounds really great! Like a big 'welcome to the family'!

time-flies-by Oh no that make it worse! WWX is super excited for the ceremony. He’s like hyping himself up nonstop.

angstymdzsthoughts Oh with the Lan members with wings- they normally have a form of the grounding ceremony when they get their courtesy name and become a Real Lan. Lose your wings and get a name Oh my gooood WWX and LWJ go to bed that night talking about how the bonding ceremony will be tomorrow morning and LWJ assures him that he knows WWX will be perfect

time-flies-by Oh god no, I’m just imagining a bunch of children scared but super willing to lose their wings, because they’d been taught that having them made them everything the clan was against

angstymdzsthoughts WWX, cuddling close: What if I mess up and make a fool of myself? No ones really told me what to do yet. LWJ, petting WWXs wings lovingly: Don't worry, I'll take care of everything Exactly

time-flies-by Oooh I just got chills again

angstymdzsthoughts Something about LWJ touching and admiring WWXs wings in this context... 😨

time-flies-by LWJ: once I get rid of these, he’ll be all mine.

angstymdzsthoughts Touching wings isn't a normal thing outside of family (given that touching in general isn't normal in Chinese culture) but WWX was always super ok with friends petting his wings. He totally offered to let LWJ touch his wings when they were teenagers after catching him admiring them

angstymdzsthoughts LWJ hadn't felt a wing since his mother died shortly after her Binding and WWXs are a really beautiful glossy black color that turns a dark, rich purple if the light hits them just right. Of course he wants to touch

time-flies-by 😥😥

angstymdzsthoughts LWJ, cautiously running one finger along the feathers: They are so big... WWX: Of course they are! My wings have to be big and strong to carry me while I fly! LWJ immediately snatching his hand back, suddenly cold at the remainder that WWX can and will fly away far, far away from him

time-flies-by LWJ is really undermining the love WWX has for him by being that concerned that he’ll leave him.

angstymdzsthoughts He got brainwashed by his clan and he saw his mothers constant attempts to escape. Everyone around him said that the only reason she was trying to leave was because of her wings. If his own mother would leave him because of wings, what would stop WWX?

angstymdzsthoughts Madam Lan got way too close to actually escaping and QHJ was pressured into finally doing the ceremony. Madam Lan didn't last long after that

time-flies-by sent a post Source (****)

angstymdzsthoughts Hahaha

angstymdzsthoughts You know what would be worse? Baby A-Yuan with wings

time-flies-by Oh noooooo

angstymdzsthoughts Like au where LWJ didn't do the binding and unbrainwashed himself Then A-Yuan is born with wings and he grows up being told he won’t be a Real Lan if he keeps them So his parents have no plans of removing them but as his naming ceremony gets closer Yuan says he Wants to get rid of them WWX is immediately packing a bag and getting him and his son the hell out of there. LWJ is right behind him with another bag

time-flies-by Oof yes I like that

time-flies-by But like what if, the day before they leave or something, A-yuan runs to the elders and tells them about what his parents plan to do, and he’s so desperate to get rid of his wings that he asks them to just do the ceremony there and then

angstymdzsthoughts AAAAAAAAAA

time-flies-by When LWJ and WWX wake, they’re so stressed cause they can’t find A-yuan, but a few minutes later he comes in all proud and wingless

angstymdzsthoughts I mean since its Maleficent au wings are apparently magic and can be put right back on but Still Horrible WWX cries LWJ is gonna fight to get his sons wings back and then get his family the hell out of there Oh my god..... LWJ walking through a room full of tiny, near identical wings looking for the little pair that he would recognize anywhere

angstymdzsthoughts Let's a few tears out when he finds them. Remembers helping WWX clean and groom them and watching while WWX taught their son to balance and fly using those wings Hates himself for not seeing what his clan was doing to LSZ and not getting them away from all of it sooner

time-flies-by Codnekaoenen perfect

time-flies-by Heartbreaking, but perfect

angstymdzsthoughts Also, if things had gone according to plan and they left before LSZ did the Binding Yuan, struggling and crying: But I won’t be a Real Lan! WWX, throwing Yuan over his shoulder to carry him mid tantrum: Then you're gonna be a Wei. Lan Zhan, would you please carry this bag? LWJ, taking the bag: Mn. Wei Yuan sounds nice.

angstymdzsthoughts Then they go to Yunmeng so LSZ can grow up in a healthier environment

time-flies-by Oh I like your version better.

angstymdzsthoughts You brought the pain, I brought a bandaid

time-flies-by Haha yes yes, thank you

angstymdzsthoughts Oof tho. LWJ finds the wings and brings them home where WWX is guarding Yuan while he sleeps. They Return the wings while Yuan sleeps and return to making plans to go to Yunmeng once Yuan wakes When he wakes up and has his wings back he bursts into tears.

angstymdzsthoughts Could be because he really missed his wings and is glad to have them back or because this means he's gonna have to go through the grounding AGAIN and it really hurt the first time and he doesn't want to go through it again. Maybe both

time-flies-by If both, then WWX and LWJ will do their best to reassure him that he won’t have to go through the grounding ever again.

angstymdzsthoughts Aww little Yuan crying so hard he can hardly breath and bringing his wings around himself so he can pet and groom them because he needs to make sure this is real and their back

angstymdzsthoughts Oof. Imagine LXC seeing this and wishing he could have kept his wings. Goes to visit his wings and knows that they are too small to fit his body now that hes an adult so he's lost his chance

time-flies-by *sigh* we really should give LXC a break.

angstymdzsthoughts Never Ok how about he gets his wings back and even tho there too small because they never got the chance to grow with him and he'll never be able to fly hes so unbelievably happy WWX and Yuan teach him how to groom his wings correctly because the only person who ever did that was his mother and he cant quite remember how to do it

time-flies-by *sniff* family bonding time

angstymdzsthoughts He starts an arrangement with Yunmeng Jiang so he can send any winged Lans to them for half the year so they can learn that having wings Isnt the worse thing in the world

time-flies-by Oooh yes yes That’s good.

[neacle]

oki lofe hit me

the entire headcanon meme list for Electra 🖤

Oh Lexi, my beloved, my muse, my one and only 😌

☾ - sleep headcanon

Can have a hard time falling asleep due to excess energy and nerves, but once he does he sleeps very soundly. Is the little spoon always, wants to be held, snug and secure. Cannot sleep by himself

★ - sad headcanon

Actually feels rather dumb that he doesn't know that much outside of his own culture, he feels very sheltered and alone when he's not with his components for support

☆ - happy headcanon

He has one love language/gesture for each component and makes sure to show them that every so often

He and Volta go out to get manicures

He and Purse get drinks and gossip

He and Joule hits the dance floor

He and Krupp gets hot cocoa and listen to opera (Purse often joins tho)

He and Wrench play chess and drink tea

☠ - angry/violent headcanon

A lot of his anger is rather empty, his bark is definitely worse than his bite, more showy than actually serious, even if he's got a rather short temper lol. Bound to give the occasional zap to whoever made him angry lol

✿ - Sex headcanon

Loooves to fuck, very hypersexual. Doesn't mind switching but prefers to bottom (especially from a big, handsome diesel)

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon

Has a huge suite back at the commission he works for, with separate rooms for all the components and also his own room with a bed big enough for all of them to sleep in if they want to. Very fancy and shiny and sleek and warm. He has *a lot* of stuff and can sometimes be a little messy and scatterbrained, just putting things wherever (much to Wrench and Volta's chagrin), but he tries to keep it orderly!

♡ - romantic headcanon

Doesn't know shit about romance lmao, but he really tries once he starts his relationship with GB. Takes a lot of advice from Purse and Krupp lmao Sometimes Volta and Joule as well, but Krupp and Purse are the designated Married Couple in their family lol

♥ - family headcanon

Racers don't really have families the way other railfolk do, they're just bred and "manifactured", but he has a Dam named Borialis and a Sire that i haven't named yet cause he's not important lmaooo

The Components are his real family, forged and bonded over the years, and Wrench is the closest thing he'd call a mother

☮ - friendship headcanon

Outside of the components he doesn't really have any friends, just the occasional co-worker and hook-up. But after he gets with GB he'll form some strong bonds with people at Apollo Victoria :)

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon

His fingers twitch and crook when he's nervous or focusing, like long spiderlegs lmao

He works and trains so much that he hasn't really gotten the opportunity to develop any true hobbies, but he likes to read and look at clothes and designs. He could probably tell you a lot about certain fashion designers lmao

He's also a huge fan of dancing and choreography

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon

Likes: Sex, dancing, fruity drinks, chocolate, cherries, the sea

Dislikes: Rain, winter, loud sudden noises, crowds

▼ - childhood headcanon

Not really much of a childhood. Just training, training, training

∇ -. old age/aging headcanon

Don't age lmao

But he's around 26 looks-wise and what he "feels" like.

♒ - cooking/food headcanon

Can't cook for shit. And he prefers cold foods or fruits anyway

☼ - appearance headcanon

I...have made a superlong post only focusing on his HC-look lmaooo but to summarise it;

Eric Clausell body wise, very tall, like 2 meters, 6'6(?), A NOODLE <3

Slight hourglass shape with broad shoulders and snatched waist, firm ass, but mostly shaped like a dorito lol

Crest is cherryred with purplish blue highlights, but he sometimes colours it blue.

A very pretty, kinda round face, lips that beg to be kissed, very pouty, high cheekbones, shiny, big blue eyes, lashes for days. Body is bluish turquoise with shiny circuitry glimmering underneath the skin, and face is a soft caramel with copper-bronze highlights. Natural blue markings along his eyes and cheeks that he brings out even more with makeup

ൠ - random headcanon

His preferred nickname is Lex, and that is *only* for friends or lovers. GB is the only one that can call him Lexi, he just about melts then

[not-poignant]

hello! *peruses unasked flower asks* ummm, if you could give me a Canna, Cock’s Comb ehheeh, Common Boneset, Norwegian Angelica and Rosemallows please! :)

(Okay I love that little eheh at cock's comb tho)

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?

*

I do! A giant 'RESIST' in capital letters down the inside of my right wrist, that I actually got long before any actual 'resist' movements over the past few years. I got it around my 21st birthday (actually like a year later) mostly to mark all the things that I'd already survived at that point, and how much of my life philosophy is based off a position of resistance - resisting wanting to kill myself, resisting the darkest paths, resisting my own body when it grows tumours, and so on.

As it's aged, its lost some of it's sharp corners and stuff, but I still like it, though I mostly forget its there now. I'd like to get more tattoos at some point, but money is a big barrier, they're not cheap! (Which is good, because hopefully it means tattoo artists are being paid well).

*

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

*

I don't really know. I use Times New Roman the most while writing (I know, I know), so I guess that's my favourite because I'm voluntarily staring at it for hours and hours every single day. I hate Calibri and often have to force-change documents to another font to be able to edit them, if they come to me in that font. But I also used to write in Calibri, until I had the revelation that I hated writing in Calibri, lmao.

When I was a teenager, and had far less fonts to choose from, I was a passionate fan of Courier New and that's still my favourite font to set poetry in, which I think is an 'old habits die rather hard' thing, lmao.

*

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

*

I'm looking forward to thunderstorms, whenever they next come.

I'm looking forward to going down south with my mother, though I'm apprehensive about it too, and hope it goes well. I expect it will be exhausting, and an experience, and worthwhile. That's the end of July.

I'm looking forward to a week to myself and I'm not sure when I'll get one.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow (at least right now).

I'm looking forward to the next time we go to Kumo and have more of those Japanese souffle pancakes because souffle pancakes.

I'm looking forward to going to bed tonight.

*

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

*

I've always had...an interesting relationship with my mother. Though it's very good now. But there are lots of long stories I'm going to cut short here and say that around 11 or 12 years ago I was fed up, and sent Mum a lengthy email (because I couldn't trust I'd be able to speak clearly in person without breaking down and crying) saying that if she didn't get on board with acknowledging the PTSD and where it came from, and didn't confront her own demons in that, I was going to walk away from her and our relationship for good, and I already had my estranged relationship with my father to prove that I wasn't bluffing.

In retrospect, this probably sounds like an incredibly cruel thing to do, but I can't describe to you the years before that, my childhood, the things that led to me making this decision. Only that when I made it, I didn't know what else to do.

But then the most amazing thing happened, and unlike about anyone else in my family at the time, Mum got therapy, and she got help, and she faced her demons, and she decided that she was going to learn about her child instead of doing what she'd been doing in the past. And from there we grew a real relationship. And quite a few years ago now, we started catching up once a week, every (usually) Friday morning.

She's one of my best friends now, I love her to pieces, her bravery and courage in being willing to face up to some hard truths (including - among others - that my father and her husband was abusive), as well as her sheer strength recently going through breast cancer with such humour and grace only a short period after I went through my own cancer journey, like, she's such a role model to me.

I could never have expected that. I loved my Mum growing up, but I never felt like she knew or saw me as a person, which I don't actually blame her for, she sure was Going Through It herself, in a way that I could not appreciate fully as a child, because she protected us from those realities that she experienced and suffered through as best as she could. And now I think she really does try, as I try to meet her where she is in turn. And we see each other as people, not as family roles, and that to me...has an ineffable, lovely quality. Which is, incidentally, why I'm taking her down south for her birthday, so we can spend even more time together.

*

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

*

I don't know that I have one. Oh wait, I think...I do, so let's just preface this first though.

The problem I have here is that I've had a life full of depression and PTSD (no literally, my post-trauma started showing in early childhood), and both things can actually cause memory loss or poor memory coherence (unless the memories are traumatic! Do not recommend).

However, I have a glimpse of a memory between me, Glen and Putu, shortly before Putu was bound to leave for Melbourne (for good, he hasn't come back except to visit), where we spent the whole day together, except a break in the afternoon for me to sleep, because true facts - I cannot get through a day without sleeping for several hours in the afternoon.

There was something so golden and perfect about that day. I remember startlingly for me, sitting on the couch and tired and sore (we'd spent the day going to dim sum and then later walking around Kings Park) basking in a feeling I couldn't recall having felt before, and then I think I turned to Putu and Glen and said with some amazement, 'I think I feel content.' And Putu and Glen were like '...yeah...and?' and later I had to admit to Glen I'd never felt the feeling before. Golden and soft, like a cloud.

I think I've felt it once more since then, but I don't remember when. And I don't think I'd felt it before then, either. I would not wish my brain chemistry on anyone. But I'm very glad I got to share that moment with Putu, who is a very close member of my chosen family, for all that I don't get to see him very often anymore.

I can't strongly recall the feeling of the emotion itself. I remember describing it to myself in my head, in complete sentences, and those are the sentences I'm sharing to you now, because my verbal memory is much better than my emotional memory (I have quite serious alexithymia, which would surprise no one, but it's better than it used to be).

And I am relieved that my brain did actually hang onto the moment, mostly because I chanted to myself like a prayer: please don't forget this please don't forget this please don't forget this remember your position on the couch remember where Putu is sitting remember where Glen is sitting remember what you said and remember the time of day and remember what came before.

And, now, I do.

*

From the flower asks meme!

[arhvste]

hc for kenma and fem reader, that’s been friends w hinata since middle school and goes to karasuno, like how would they meet, how would they confess, first date etc. can the reader also be a first year. but doesn’t play volleyball she just watched hinata sorry if that doesn’t make sense

we’re all soft for kenma hours 🙈

also there's a lot to consider and include here so this is going to be a little longer than my usual hcs posts 

-

KENMA WITH A FIRST YEAR S/O HE MEETS THROUGH HINATA

you’ve been friends with hinata since your first day of middle school when you got sat next to the excitable volleyballer 

you both ended up attending karasuno high much to his delight

when he’s not with his volleyball team he’s with you telling you everything about it since you don’t play the sport yourself 

you know all the rules and basics by now by attending enough of his practices and games

so hinata has just come back from the training camp that he attended in tokyo

he is telling you all about the new techniques and he’s worked on and all the new people he’s met

“there was this biiiggg third year! he’s captain of fukurodani and one of the top 4 aces in japan!!”

“uh huh”

“and his friend was captain of the rival team we want to play in nationals, another big third year with weird bed hair!”

“sounds like you met a lot of new friends”

“yup! but one of my new favourite friends is the setter of the team we want to play in nationals, his name is kenma, he’s a second year and he’s super quiet but he’s a real good player!”

hinata shows you a picture he took with this kenma 

there next to one of your closest friends stood a boy with long blonde hair, his dark roots showing but somehow it made his whole look all the more attractive, golden feline eyes and a gentle shy smile as he looked up at the camera.

now, while you’re thinking about how cute kenma is, hinata is actually watching you

you see, unbeknownst to you, the little middle blocker had mentioned you on several occasions to his new friend

something about kenma made hinata think of you while he was in tokyo

so he felt the need to talk all about you to him to which kenma listened to intently 

so there’s a practice match against nekoma coming up

obviously you go because you want to support your friend

you literally forget all about kenma and how he plays for nekoma

honestly hinata tells you all about every single new friend he meets wherever he goes

so it’s hard to keep track of who is who and where everyone comes from

but the picture of kenma comes flashing back when you see him out on the court

hinata wasn’t lying

he was a good player

he seems like he isn’t that into it but you can tell he’s calculating his moves to be precise 

very much a contrasting character compared to the rest of his outgoing team

nekoma end up winning by one set but it’s only a friendly practice match so all is well

you go down to congratulate hinata and the rest of the team

and hinata is there with kenma chatting happily while the shy setter is smiling and nodding slightly 

you make your way over to hinata and he notices you and his smile beams even brighter

“kenma look! this is y/n the friend i told you all about! isn’t she pretty?!”

you’re blushing and so is kenma 

brief introductions are done between the two of you and before you know it hinata is off to go and annoy kageyama 

you’re left there standing with the rivalling team’s setter

at first the atmosphere is awkward but kenma actually speaks up first

“so... you’re friends with shoyo he's told me a lot about you”

“all good things i hope”

kenma lets out a small smile and your heart flutters slightly

“all good things”

you and kenma actually have a pretty good conversation from there and end up exchanging social handles

from there your friendship begins properly 

tagging each other in memes

late night texting 

kenma even convinces you to indulge in a few games he himself plays

kuroo notices kenma has been smiling at his phone more lately

“new game?”

“no”

“ohoho? no game? is it a girl?~”

“y/n from karasuno”

kenma is so blunt dhfshdfgsdugsdfu

kuroo is sitting there like 👁💧👄💧👁

“you didn't tell me you had a girlfriend i thought we were best friends”

“she isn’t my girlfriend”

“do you want her to be though?”

kenma is silent 

you are the first girl he has actually felt comfortable with 

you guys have been friends for a good 3 months now 

maybe he did want you to be his girlfriend but he isn’t sure how to go about confessing 

one night the two of you are up playing animal crossing together 

it’s 2am and neither of you feel like sleeping 

you’re ready to go catch some fish but you check your mail box first and see a letter from kenma 

it says ‘come over to my island i have something to show you’

you notice kenma is online

when is he not online?

his gates are usually open around these hours for people selling turnips or whatever 

so you make your way over to kenma’s island and his little character is waiting fro you outside the airport

then he calls you over the phone to which you answer

the two of you are just casually talking and gently laughing with each other until kenma speaks up

“follow me”

he says quietly through the phone 

so your little animal crossing characters and running around the screen until kenma leads you to a patch of gold roses

gOLD ROSES hufgugfegbfgu rich boy tings 

“KENMA YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU GOT GOLD ROSES WTF??”

and in the middle of the patches of roses you see a personalised sign 

you guys know the ones im talking about right? the little boards you can make and decorate around your island 

n e ways 

‘y/n, will you be the cyrus to my reese’

that’s so fuckin cute ily kenma fhjdfd

so after you read it you have the biggest smile on your face

“of course i will kenma!”

he is smiling so hard rn 

ugh you’re official now yes bitches

hinata is e c s t a t i c when he find out 

kuroo is so mf smug but he’s so proud of kenma 

the first chance you get you go to visit tokyo to see your new boyfriend 

the two of you go to a cat cafe 

and then you guys are strolling through a park and feed the ducks 

and then you guys go back to kenma’s house for take out 

you’re both playing animal crossing, smash bros, mario kart etc 

at the start of the day kenma is so nervous  

but you make him feel so comfortable the nerves wash away

but anyways y’all are thriving playing your games 

kenma isn't huge on pda but he does acknowledge the fact you don’t get to see each other too often so he will be open to cuddling 

you’re resting your head on his shoulder while you play though

nothing to crazy you guys are taking it slow after all

your aunt lives in tokyo so you’ll be staying with her for the night

so neither of you have to worry about weirdos on the train at night 

so it gets to about 10:45 and you and kenma decide to call it a night 

this shy baby gives u a soft kiss before you go

he is so soft fjahfk

after that date there are many more to come 

as well as hinata’s matches you also some to watch kenma play whenever you can

the nekoma team love you

they’re so happy their precious kenma has finally found someone outside of volleyball who makes him happy 

you’re basically shared between both teams now 

nationals who are you gonna cheer for tho lmao 

i honestly think when kenma finds the right one he’ll stay with her 

like he doesn’t open up easily so when he knows he’s found the one he will absolutely feel more comfortable in opening up and being more vulnerable 

kenma wasn’t really bothered about love and relationships before 

but thanks to you he’s glad he stepped out his comfort zone

because besides the family he’s got in volleyball 

he also has you know 

and you’ve taught him a new form of love 

-

requests are open!!

[fandom-blackhole]

My beloved darling my brain is on overheat, let's get this bread!

Armorer = Andromeda yess, did I tell you that I love your galaxy brain?,

This name can also explains Paz' fixation on the astronomical stuff,

Omg, he'd not only tatoo his babygirl's name but outline of Andromeda galaxy to go with it,

Grogu saying bad words omg,

Next time you and Boba are babysitting him, you are supervising them 25/8,

You let Boba teach Grogu how to swim, since you have a nice huge pool and it does seem harmless right?,

Next second you glance at them, Boba is doing some kind of water wwe with the kiddo, throwing him into the water lol,

LET ME KISS YOUR BRILLIANT MIND,

Also that meme that you've posted earlier of our connected minds is a real manifestation,

Listen, I thought about Rex and Cody too!,

But.. Jaster and Jango omg, honoring great grandpa and grandpa 😍,

Well since you and Boba have a big house, there is no problem with having more than two children,

Omg imagine the future vision of Grogu, Jango, Jaster, Rex and Cody being protective over Andromeda also sibling goals!,

Shit we need names for little Djarins tho,

I believe in you since you came with these brilliant ideas for Paz and Boba's children,

Boba playing guitar and singing for you,

He is secretly a big old fashioned romantic,

Also your jewelry collection must be worth more than entire national reserve lmfao,

Since Boba likes cowboys, space or not, he bought you a pony yeehaaw,

And you've had enough practice with riding, right? 😉,

Paz is really crafty, obviously,

He makes you flowercrowns using flowers from his little garden 🥺,

Boba saw your tumblr and decided to sign up too,

He immediately got attacked in the dms by those obnoxious, p0rn bots,

''Princess, why are random people asking me if I am looking for a sugar daddy? What is this bulshittery'',

You tell him to ignore these messages and that there is no point in responding because these are bots,

He doesn't get it, responding to every single one of them with I WILL FIND WHERE YOU LIVE YOU COCKSUCKER,

He actually commands his best hackers to find who is behind all of this shitshow lol,

No one messes with the Fetts, even bots,

Din doing your make up?,

Since he does a lot of drawing and doodling both in class and with Grogu his skills are pretty decent,

He'd even manage to put fallsies on you!,

I feel that Paz could totally slay your looks,

You'd be beaten to the gods, it's like mixing and adding ingredients so he's got you!,

Boba on the other hand is pro at smudging your lipstick and making your face stained by tears mixed up with mascara 😉,

Also Paz knitting???,

Making cute matching socks for him, you and Aurora and Ad'ika??? 😍,

When Din is home alone he vents to Crest about his existential crisis,

She just throws one of Grogu's plushies at him,

Boba asks if he can post pics of Fennec too,

You agree but under one condition,

You will send him pics done by you that he can post lol,

Paz, Boba and Din brotherly bonding st the shooting range,

They set up a little tournament,

But they all are so good,

Boba and Paz obviously have the work experience, but Din?

Auntie Armorer being a bad ass she is, trained Din and Paz in some martial arts and how to use a gun,

Grogu sneaking up on them and shooting straight bullseye lol,

Getting drunk with them?

Paz, due to his larger frame can drink a lot and still feel somewhat sober,

But when he is wasted he becomes even more of a goofball, wrecking chaos wherever you guys were partying at,

Din becomes drunk easly,

And he gets all blushy on his face,

Also he becomes really touchy and handsy with you 😉,

Boba being drunk?

Yeah, I think he can only become pussydrunk 😳😳😳

Okay sorry darling, but I need to calm down, I became too distracted after the last bit - 🐣

Listen there is no calm over here, and don't apologize for all of this beautiful masterpiece....

So names for Din's kids.... for a girl I like the name Farrah or Luna and for a boy what about Jax??

Boba totally tries to go behind your back and teach little Grogu things

You only find out about them because he tries to teach kids at school the same things and Din freaks out

All of the kids are super close and they all are protective of eachother

Especially little Andromeda, because she's just softer and more caring and she is the target when other kids are around

Rex and Cody are pretty much attached at the hip, doing everything together, and you and Boba aren't sure how but Rex was born with blonde hair, and Cody has a birthmark spanning where his scar is in the movies/show

Boba singing and playing the guitar? Be still my beating heart

Boba singing the the babies to sleep!!!!

Boba owning enough horse for all of you to go horse back riding when ever you want to

Boba has a movie theater in his house

BOBA BEING ON TUMBLR AND JUST GETTING PORN BOTS MESSAGING HIM LEFT AND RIGHT

Boba totally messages them all and tells them to fuck off he already has a princess

Listen Din is actually super good at art, and he loves when you let him do your make up

Grogu loves when Din does HIS makeup

Paz also is so good at making your base makeup look fucking flawless and natural and you aren't sure how he does it

And Boba is the KING of giving you that, just fucked look 😉😉

Paz knitting?!?!? 2739203/10 best image ever

He totally makes Andromeda's baby blanket as well as a bigger matching one for you

Din, Paz, and Boba totally get together every couple of months, especially if they haven't seen eachother in a bit

The Armorer definitely made sure her boys could defend themselves because she didn't want to see them hurt

Grogu is a total natural at shooting, but Boba will claim that he taught it to him because of the babysitting incident

GETTING SMASHED WITH THE BOYS!!

Din definitely can't hold his liquor and he talks so much more with no filter when he is drunk

He also will try to shove his hand down your pants, even if you are in public so watch out

You aren't even sure Boba can get drunk, but he does love drinking with you

Or better yet, drinking you 😉😉

Paz is totally a giggly drunk, and he always thinks he comes up with the best ideas but they are always terrible

But he does come up with some pretty good recipes while drunk

God imagine family dinners with all of the kids and Paz cooking 🥺🥺

Paz would be so overjoyed if you got a tattoo that symbolizes him

You both getting the mando vows tattooed in mando'a!!!!

Bob totally fills all the dad role with the kids so well

You find him telling them stories before bed and giving them each kisses on the forehead

(SEND ME THOTS!!!)

[watchingspnagain]

Meet Mace

Hi, I'm Mace, and this is my Intro Post. Ab Spectando Condito and all that. (I sometimes channel Livy when I'm nervous, don't be alarmed.) And I'm nervous because my memory is absolute crap so I can't actually remember all the details here, even though this all started only, like, two years ago. It's also hard to wrap my head around the idea of trying to describe this thing that Lor and I have started (created?) and how and why it has become so important. So, well, bear with me.

Okay, here goes: For years friends had been telling me that I *needed* to watch Supernatural; it was right up my street, they'd say. But I kept putting their recommendations aside, thinking that, sure, Dean from Gilmore Girls is in it and he's adorable, but that other guy looks like a frat boy cliché, and overall the show seemed like it was probably Buffy but with Dudes (and I LOVE Buffy and will brook no substitutions or messings-with The Buffy). Eventually I decided to give it a try anyway, a decision wholly based on how hilarious the memes were. Maybe the non-Dean guy (His name is Dean? *His* name is Dean? Wait, no, that's not...but why tho?) isn't so bad? The first attempt didn't go well: my husband, who is so very not interested in SPN, was away on a business trip and I waited until my then-10yo son was in bed, crawled into bed myself, and started the first episode. At night. Alone. I made it 10 minutes before actually saying out loud, "NOPE" and turning it off. Cripes, that first episode (and most of the first season, really) is actual, full-on scary! I mean, what. Why have Handsome Boys making Hilarious Quips on a show that I can't watch because I'm too scared?! Sort of rude, to be honest.

And that was it for, I think?, a couple of months or so. Then - and this is one of the places where my memory gets foggy (I tried three times to type that correctly and the first two came out as "goofy" and honestly yes that too) - the watching of SPN was mentioned on another site I spend much amounts of time on. I suspect Lor remembers the details much better than I do, but somehow we starting talking about how we both had been thinking about watching SPN for a long time, but hadn't actually done so because past attempts on both sides had resulted in fright and flight.

Now, Lor and I have been friends on that other site for several years, but never before really corresponded much outside of that site's chat-like forum section. I pretty much admired her from afar, as it were, and held her as a Fantasy BFF in my daydreams - she was (and still is to this very day) cool and *so* clever and smart and had (and still does to this very day) such a brilliant knack for turning a phrase and I admired (and still do to this very day) her wit and snark and general amazingness, but, again, mostly from afar. So when we somehow decided to try again with Supernatural, but this time together, I was ridiculously excited. I had no idea, though, just how life-changing that decision would be. We bonded, it seemed, almost instantly over our love (second time is the charming one, I guess?) of the show and over discovering how much we have in common with each other. It's comical, almost, just how alike we are in all kinds of areas: similar childhood experiences, nearly identical (like, eerily so sometimes) tastes and opinions on all manner of things, and we're essentially twins in our list of Things That Make Our Anxieties Spike.

We started off watching the episodes separately (I think I was a little ahead of her for a bit? Gah - stupid faulty memory) and then typing up our comments and emailing them to each other, then responding with comments on our comments. And it quickly became one of the highlights of my days, getting those emails, reading through her clever and hilarious remarks, feeling pure glee when we had almost exactly the same thoughts - sometimes even typing the exact same phrases, word for word. This, then, at some point, evolved into watching the episodes at the same time and live-texting each other, which means that now we very often are typing exactly the same reactions, word for word, and then geeking out at how SAME we are in real time. Of course we have differences, too, but even those seem to complement each other: she's the Hufflepuff to my Slytherin; she's a Dean girl and I'm a Sam girl (well, and also a Crowley girl - Sam girl in the streets and Crowley girl in the sheets?); she likes Wuthering Heights, which slightly baffles me but, okay, because we both agree that MacFadyen is the best Darcy.

We had big plans to have a meet-up to watch the series finale together. See, we've never actually met in person. We became friends online, then became closer friends through this mutual SPN watch, but that's also online. And so I've never been face-to-face with my best friend. Because the meet-up for the finale didn't happen, of course. Because Covid, of course. For both of us, anxiety added a special sauce of NOPE to leaving the house this last year and we've both, I think, been pretty much isolated, staying home and not having much interaction with others outside the other members of our households. Which means that our SPN watching and our growing friendship took on an even greater meaning and importance for me. I'm honestly not sure that I could have handled the massive stress and anxiety of this last year without Lor's friendship. It just feels...natural, at this point, that I spend my days texting her back and forth about all sorts of things, the small and mundane to the big and important. Lor has become a huge part of my life and if a full day were to pass by without talking to her, I'd feel that loss fairly keenly. On some level it seems pretty bizarre that I owe such a debt of gratitude for this amazing friendship to a TV show, but here we are. This show, its characters, and the actors and writers who have made them so outstanding and special? Well, I owe them all incalculable amounts of thanks.

Anyway. So.

We're now on our second go-round with our SPN watching (because I think neither of us can now even begin to fathom a life in which we're *not* watching this show together), and Lor, (hello - did I mention she's brilliant and amazing?) low-key drops the idea that we should be blogging our live-text conversations. We've talked before about really wanting to have a record of *waves hands around* all this, and a blog seems like a great way to do that, regardless of whether anyone else ever reads it. I'm content for it to be an open and ongoing love letter to Supernatural and to our friendship, even if it remains a largely unread one.

And finally, here are a few Thing You Should Maybe Know About Me:

I'm a farmer's daughter with a PhD in Classics, a one-time professor, turned stay-at-home mom, turned part-time librarian, turned Classics prof. again, living in the Midwest with my husband, 12-going-on-80yo son, and a goofball of a golden retriever.

I love reading as much as I hate housecleaning, and I'll read pretty much anything unless the dog dies or the child gets hurt.

I also really like knitting and sewing and one of my very favorite things is to make ridiculously-tailored Halloween costumes for my son (thank the gods he's totally into it, too). I missed my calling to be a cosplay designer. Maybe in retirement...

I fall in love easily and fast and hard for fictional characters, especially the ones that are 1) evil and/or generally villainous, 2) tormented, 3) super smart and/or skilled, 4) filthy rich, 5) completely unattainable, and if they're all of the above, Holy. Damn.

[lillupon]

So, I've got a very long rant/opinion here and Idk really know how to say this without coming off kinda bad but I'm gonna say it anyways. I agree with the fact that the seventeen tag has been kinda dry lately on most fanfic places, but it's really only in the smut area. It's the sane way with other groups too I feel like. All of the nice little innocent tags are boomin to this day and thats completely fine. I think the smut tag is dry tho bc lately I feel like a few social issues (like sexualizing people and disrespecting them and their identity) have crossed over into kpop and have been ?blown out of proportion? Lately there's been a rampage of people who like to say that writing smut about someone is disgusting and is dehumanizing because people want to assume that it would make the idols uncomfortable which could equate to some morality issues on how you are reducing someone only to their body without their consent and a bunch of stuff like that. It kind of pisses me off bc this is fiction. About grown adults. Clamping down on horny people who simp over hot asian men isn't going to solve the issues we face in real life. I think a shit ton is wrong with the world we currently live in, and deciding to come after something that isn't even real bothers me. Like what does that actually accomplish. But yeah, I think thats a reason why smut has been dying down. I mean, on youtube almost every video about unpopular opinions, or things they dont like about kpop will include something about shipping idols in fanfics. And then everyone in the comment section will talk about how its all fine and dandy in moderation, but once people start writing smut it's crossing the idols personal boundaries. It's something I've been seeing a lot more often and I think people who are interested in writing smut are being turned away from it bc we've gotten to a point where people are being called disgusting for having fantasies.

Hi Anon, thank you for sending in this Ask. 

I want to preface this by saying: when I write or talk about Mingyu and Wonwoo fucking on my blog, it is a fantasy. I am not speculating about what the real Mingyu and Wonwoo might be like in bed. I am imagining the versions of Mingyu and Wonwoo that I have created in my head, that exist only in my stories. None of it is real. I understand that this can be a blurry boundary for some people. But for me, the separation between fantasy and reality is well-defined. Now, on to your Ask!

You’ve hit the nail on the head with this one. You’ve also touched on many of the issues I have been struggling with myself as of late. It’s difficult to argue about morals since everyone has a different set of values, as well as different comfort levels. Some people think real person fiction (RPF) is a gross invasion of privacy. Others are fine with it. And others don’t care one way or another. There is no single answer; I can only offer my answer. Which means, of course, people are welcome to disagree with it, or parts of it. 

In this essay (LOL But forreal: this is an essay), I will be sharing my experience in the k-pop fanfic community from 2014 to present, the etiquette I personally abide by as a reader and writer of RPF, as well as my stance on RPF in general.

I started reading and posting fanfics back in 2014/2015 on a website called AsianFanfics (AFF). Obviously, no one on that site had a problem with RPF, since AFF is a platform made specifically for sharing stories about Asian celebrities. For many years, I read and enjoyed RPF with zero guilt. I scribbled away by myself in my own corner of fandom and curated my own content. I didn’t interact much with other fans, readers, or writers. I didn’t have a Twitter, and I only used tumblr to reblog memes. As a result, I’ve been able to avoid a lot of anti-shipping discourse, as well as purity and cancel culture. I had no idea there were so many negative opinions about RPF. It wasn’t until I became active on the subreddit r/Fanfiction last year that I learned about all the discourse surrounding RPF. 

This newfound ‘awareness’ does make me feel guilty at times—but only because after mulling this over, I still don’t think this is something to feel guilty about.

Here’s what I remember, first and foremost, when I create and consume RPF: fanfics and my favourite ships are fictional, and fiction is fantasy. This is basic etiquette when it comes to RPF, and most people in the k-pop fandom understand this. Delusional fans exist, of course, but they are not representative of the entire k-pop community. 

Another point of etiquette is to keep fanfics within fandom spaces. I would never push my fics into celebrities’ faces, or go around claiming that my fanfics are accurate representations of a k-idol’s life or personality, in any way, shape, or form. I would also discourage directing ship-related questions to official accounts, or bringing them up during fansigns or other face-to-face interactions; I believe that in these instances, shipping does have the potential to strain real-life relationships.

So with basic etiquette out of the way, let me share my approach to RPF in general.

As much as we like to think we know our favourite celebrities, we really don’t. All we see is their public persona. And this public persona is intentionally controlled, managed, and curated by a team of people: directors, tabloids, editors, makeup artists, publicists, etc. How “real” are these celebrities? We are so distanced from them that they may as well be fictional.

I draw from the public persona that idols project, and I work them into my own writing. But at the end of the day, these personalities are my own interpretation. My interpretation is probably nothing like an idol’s actual personality. I just use the “public persona/character” that idols portray as inspiration for my own stories, which are set in wildly different universes.

More than anything, I think of k-pop idols as “actors” in my fic. You know how when you write an original novel, you scroll through Google images, looking for the perfect person to portray your original character? RPF is literally that, except you might build upon pre-existing dynamics and personalities.

When it comes to explicit fanfiction, two main concerns are prevalent: one of consent, and one of sexualisation.

If we argue against explicit RPF due to lack of consent, we should be willing to apply the same lens to all explicit works. How do we know that the creator of a movie, book, series, etc., is okay with us using their characters in our stories, explicit or not? We don’t. Perhaps some creators encourage fanfiction, but don’t want their lovingly crafted characters engaging in sexual acts or experiencing trauma. We just don’t know. I feel this line is even more blurred when we talk about characters from movies or TV series.

Let’s take Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, as portrayed by Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan, from the Captain America movies as an example. I am willing to bet that when people consume and create explicit fanfiction about Steve and Bucky, they are imagining Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan in their heads. I doubt many people are imagining the 2D cartoon versions of Steve and Bucky, even though they’re technically the exact same characters. Why? Well, it could be because movies are more readily and easily consumed than comics, and so people are unfamiliar with comic book Steve and Bucky. But it might also be because fans find Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan attractive. Is this really any different from RPF, where fic authors make up everything about a celebrity’s life?  

When readers and writers of fanfic talk about how hot Steve Rogers or Bucky Barnes is, those comments are about Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan’s bodies. When reading explicit stories, fans are going to picture Chris and Sebastian’s bodies in their head, doing sexual things. Can we say, “Well, it’s not really you, Chris/Sebastian”, when in a way, it is?

The reality is, people are going to thirst over celebrities, regardless of whether or not explicit fanfiction exists. They’re going to post thirst tweets on Twitter. They’re going to talk to friends and strangers online about how hot [insert celebrity name here] is. They’re going to fantasize about dating and having sex with their favourite celebrity. Or, as it is in my case, they’re going to make up stories in their heads about their favourite idols dating and banging each other. People are going to do all of this without ‘getting consent’ from the celebrity. Cracking down upon and shaming writers of RPF isn’t going to change any of that.

To be honest, I’m not sure why people think it is disgusting to imagine sexual scenarios about real people. It is okay and normal to have these kinds of fantasies. I suppose the alternative is to fantasise about having sex with cartoon characters instead? It’s a very binary way of thinking to say that if you imagine/write real people in explicit scenarios, you are immediately sexualising, dehumanising, or objectifying them. There is more to dehumanisation than writing smut about our favourite celebrities. For one thing, you can love someone and appreciate all parts of them, and still want to fuck their brains out. And generally, fanfics come from a place of love—love that is not only sexual in nature.

Is it the sharing aspect inherent to fanfiction? The possibility that a celebrity might stumble upon explicit works about them? The chances are very low, I think, of the k-pop idols I enjoy writing about coming across my English fics. But I also believe in curating your own content, and that applies to celebrities too. Perhaps a celebrity should not go searching for fanfics about themselves. And of course, people should not show celebrities their fanfics, unless invited.

Another argument I hear against (explicit) RPF is, “How would you feel if someone wrote fanfiction about you?” First off, I don’t like this argument because there’s a difference between someone who decides to be a public figure versus someone who decides to remain a regular private citizen. Celebrities should and do know what they’re getting into when they choose their occupation. (This is not to say, “They are celebrities; sexualise them all you want because that’s what they signed up for.” Here, I am only acknowledging that people might have sexual fantasies about celebrities they are attracted to. Presumably, celebrities are cognizant of this.)  

If someone (whose existence I am not even aware of, mind you) decides they want to write explicit fanfiction of me in some tiny corner of the Internet, I wouldn’t care so long as: (1) they don’t shove it into my face, and (2) they don’t harass me and ask invasive questions about my personal life and relationships. It’s not hurting me or negatively affecting my life, so it wouldn’t even register as a blip on my radar. When fanfiction remains within its appropriate spaces, it is largely harmless. 

Now, if a k-pop idol were to ask their fans to stop writing fanfiction about them, would I? Yes, I would. However, I can’t imagine that happening. Judging by the number of ‘sexy’ concepts, fanservice moments, and variety shows such as ‘We Got Married’, I am certain that k-pop idols realise they are the stars of many fantasies—some of which are explicit in nature. Considering the prevalence of shipping in the k-pop industry, I would argue that shipping is subtly encouraged.

It’s sad that so many talented writers are shamed out of fandom, or feel that k-pop cannot be the medium through which they tell their stories, or explore their sexuality, or cope with trauma, or simply have fun. Professional works and Hollywood love their RPF—readers and writers of fanfics should be able to, as well. 

As you said Anon, “clamping down on horny people who simp over hot asian men isn't going to solve the issues we face in real life” (this is a lovely sentence, by the way). The kind of person who dehumanises another and reduces them to a sexual object will do so some other way, if not via fanfiction. I don’t think the issue of fetishisation can be fixed simply by telling people not to write explicit RPF. In my experience, people who read and write RPF are more respectful and thoughtful about these things than the general public. We’ve all seen the general public say highly sexual things about celebrities in the media and to their faces, or tag celebrities in their thirst tweets. Are these things less invasive than fanfiction? Personally, I don’t think so. And in my opinion, there are more pressing and damaging issues in stan culture than fanfic.

In conclusion, I don’t think there is anything wrong with creating and consuming RPF, both explicit and non-explicit so long as we:

Remember we are writing fiction

Keep RPF within its appropriate space, and

Do not harass celebrities about their personal lives and relationships

RPF is not for everyone. There may be people who enjoy RPF, but draw the line at explicit stories. This is fine. Everyone has their own personal preferences. What is not fine, however, is attacking people for creating things you don’t like. I’m not sure what kind of moral crusade people are on and what they hope to achieve by shaming writers of RPF, explicit or otherwise. Ultimately, fic authors are writing a fantasy. It’s not real; no one is being hurt. I think it’s important for people to curate their own content, and AO3 makes it very easy to filter out explicit works and unwanted tags. 

Maybe this is me trying to justify my own participation in explicit RPF—I don’t know. What I do know is that I love k-pop, and fandom is an important part of my media and entertainment experience. I adore the k-pop idols I write about, and I just want to imagine them being happy and getting lots of love and orgasms. Let a bitch be horny, goddamn… 

Some bonus fun facts!

At the time I am writing this, on AO3:

26.2% of Stray Kids fanfics are rated M or E

26.3% of Seventeen fanfics are rated M or E

29.0% of Merlin fanfics are rated M or E

34.9% of Captain America (Movies) fanfics are rated M or E

40.1% of BTS fanfics are rated M or E ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Coincidentally, I saw this post on Reddit this morning: Can we have a RPF positivity post?

[delusionland]

jason write-up:

jason loves cask of amontillado memes, and has a burner twitter but the only things he retweets are Every Meme off the sparknotes twitter, and donation posts that he’s qrts and @ s bruce wayne on

jason todd is actually a very boring person that likes simple things that he considers both classy & orderly & organized. he likes chamomille tea, and the scent of old books, the smell of cardboard boxes&plastic when something brand new has been delivered---but doesn’t collect anything bc of paranoia& is overly clean. his aparment is sparse & chrome.

he’s learning russian in his spare time, mostly over casette tapes which he listens to to get to bed at night.

he listens to a lot of true crime & history & philosophy podcasts, but it’s mostly just to drown out his own negative thinking and the fact that he doesn’t really talk to anybody day-to-day except for himself. (he talks to himself, out loud, a lot though, helps him remember he’s not ACTUALLY dead). he’s a member of an exclusive club of people who have actually sat there and agonized over sending an exquisitely&politely worded and thoughtful question to a podcaster in the hopes that they will answer it privately, fantasized about sending it and what the reprocrussions of sending it would be, and then, decided not to send it bc the podcaster is probably too smart & busy.

jason todd’s politics may have been considered radical in the 00s, but when jason actually says things out loud, most leftists now just think, ‘well yeah, duh. no more corrupt cops, rapists, pedophiles or abusers.’ his interest in his own justice-through-violence is now kind of normalized, and seems properly decent and logical compared to batman’s which seems to have been spinning in circles for the last thirty years. 

he doesn’t really have an active social life, and is desperately vying for his father’s approval thru batman incorporated. he pretends not to want the rest of the batfam’s approval as well since they can all see right through him (same trauma / i have trauma because of you, idiot!). but they all see why he’s still in gotham, hasn’t killed the joker, and hasn’t formed a real life of his own, and the reason rhymes with baddy issues.

jason has been involved with various teams over the years thru bruce’s influence---and i’m welcome to establishing relationships within that including with the outlaws tho i dont really like kori’s characterization within it. but mostly he spends a LOT of time alone hunting down bad guys in gotham.

he’s actually more confident interacting with villains than heroes---with villains, he feels like he’s more on even playing field and can do whatever he wants, puts on a show. even tho bruce says he can’t kill anyone mentally ill which is kind of an underpinning of ‘leave my PEERS in COSTUMED CRAZINESS to me and stick to non-suited perps,’ jason honestly still considers himself a rogue even if he’s technically reformed. 

with superheroes, he feels kind of like he’s just really good at shooting people? like, what is he here for? is a gun a superpower, bruce? is being your son a fucking superpower? like everything about it just seems truly & utterly stupid to him. but he’s surprisingly good at working on a team though, and takes and gives orders really well, if he isn’t drowning in his own awkward overly intense self-imposed tension.

also, everybody in the superhero world is canonically corny. but they carry a confidence & charm with it, a belief in a system and a world of corniness. that jason only has when he knows he’s being bad on purpose. otherwise he seems like he’s trying too hard not to lose his cool, like he’s beating himself up for every word he gets out, like he’s ready to beat ur ass and his own ass just for daring to still exist and be alive around him.

jason todd thinks too much, rambles often, speaks in rhetoricals bc he believes no one is listening or wants to listen, and always feels put-upon, rejected, and smad. he’s calmed down since he’s past that age in his 20s where he wanted to lash out at everyone and anything---but he still feels like 2 steps away from a breakdown at any minute, except now he doesn’t have some convoluted plan for confrontation with his father, he’s just gonna start fucking crying and shooting the next person he comes across who deserves it.

[millennial-ring]

Can we get more on the three P's? Pain, Pride, and Pure?

           17. PAIN

So this is actually the document where I saved the RP where Bakura came back to find Malik engaged to Seto, aptly named “PAIN” because it’s...fairly angsty. Me and this friend used to RP on Skype, making new group chats with side accounts before deleting them and leaving the two of us (which is so unnecessarily inconvenient lol but it’s what we had to do so we could rp multiple things at a time/not lose the rp in our regular group) and whenever we finished or got bored of an RP one of us would sit down, scroll all the way to the top, and copy and paste the entire thing into a word doc for re-readability. We rp’d it for well over a year, if not longer, so there’s no way to really reread it and condense it into a summary because sooo much happens. I guess highlights that I remember (or at least thing I remember fgjkdjh? we started this rp in 2016)

Bakura gives Malik a necklace he made himself (instead of a ring) before they part ways and Malik ofc keeps wearing it even after Bakura comes back and screams at them. There’s one scene early into the power relationship (when Malik still considers them fuck buddies) where Malik jumps into bed with Ryou, shoves his phone into his face, and starts screaming about Seto’s “you’re adorable” reply to a no-make up, bedhead selfie Malik had sent (bc how dare Seto be cute and do romantic things like that and kiss Malik’s hand and feed Malik chocolate covered strawberries before sex and buy him jewelry when they’re just fucking!) and Ryou’s just like “oh my fucking god just date him already gtfo my room I want to sleep.” Uhm... Malik and Seto are in the middle of wedding planning (visiting Isis and Rishid in Egypt at the time) when Bakura comes back, but they’re talking about a spring wedding in one of the parks/gardens in Seto’s neighborhood and Seto makes a comment about having the ceremony under the wisteria tree because he wants to see wisteria blossoms in Malik’s hair. Malik imagines brushing stray petals from Seto’s hair as they lean in for the kiss that will bind them for life - and then ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE. Bakura passes out after using all his energy to scream at Malik (bc he JUST returned from the shadows, having had to go through multiple trials and actually give up some of his memories to be able to return) and they put him in the guest bedroom while Malik calls Ryou for help. While they wait for Ryou, Bakura wakes up and crawls out the window and runs away LOL. Uhm... Malik has a fluffy white therapy cat, ykno one of those grumpy looking smoosh faced ones, named Bakura. At some point while they’re still in Egypt Ryou takes Bakura to Kul Elna, where there’s a monument/memorial to the people that died in the massacre, and a very close knit community. Ryou takes Bakura to a community garden run by a pregnant woman named Adela who also owns a restaurant there - the food grown by the locals is used in the restaurant and iirc there was also some kind of donations thing going on where struggling families could come and take whatever they needed provided they bring back seeds or the scraps for compost or help a bit in the garden or something like that. I don’t think we ever made it explicit but we were pretty much implying that Adela was Bakura’s Actual Mom reincarnated. I think Bakura was also around for the birth, but I can’t remember much of it aside from him holding the baby. But the modern Kul Elna village actually practiced a lot of the old traditions and Bakura’s like “whoa... fuck it I might move here”. Uuuhh Bakura tells Ryou how every family in Kul Elna had a special “tzai” (tea) recipe and it could only be shared with people close to said family...before he makes some for Ryou. I think my friend got this from Star Wars? But I like it and we’ve included it in basically all our rps since. Uhm~ At one point Bakura kisses Malik and Malik slaps him and that’s how Bakura knows It’s Really Over. Malik and Seto play rock paper scissors to decide who bottoms every now and then, but it’s moreso a way to say “I want to bottom tonight but for some reason my pride keeps me from saying it outright” (dear 2016 us: bottoming is not shameful!) but also we never rp’d it, it was part of a time skip, but Malik and Seto had a threesome with Ryou and Ryou ate Seto’s ass. That’s all. We had Atem coming back and I remember he wanted to try and smooth things over but whenever Bakura saw him he had a panic attack. Uhm...that’s all for now lol, I can’t really remember much else.

             18. pride

Unfortunately, again, this is not a document about prideshipping. Every so often I get emotional and I start writing emotional things that I think I’ll post to Facebook, but then I either chicken out because I don’t want to be known or perceived. Let people continue to think I’m a hyperactive halfwit and have no deeper meaning to my thoughts. It’s chill. 

But this one was about the concept of LGBT Pride and how I felt about it, how startled I am sometimes when I run across support and acceptance in unconventional or unexpected places, how I worked hard to be comfortable enough to make the “because I’m gay” jokes out loud because growing up in a rural Kansas town I was exposed to my fair share of homophobia, both from family and from community, and even the people I called friends. It was gonna be one of those “wow I love my friends and family because now that I’ve weeded out the assholes I’m surrounded by love and support and this is exactly how much it means to me and why!” kinda posts, but I’m really bad at those, so this stayed in my WIPs. Maybe when Pride month rolls around again and I get nostalgic and emotional again I’ll finish it.

             19. pure

This one’s a “fic” written about mine and my friend’s OCs from an old superhero/supervillain RP group. My character, Zaine, was separated from his girlfriend, Tansy, during a battle with heroes that killed a lot of supers and civilians alike. They were reunited after a few years (both had assumed the other had died and somehow hadn’t run into each other at all asdkja, it was our excuse as to why the characters had changed so much (since we were coming back to rp these characters after a few years ourselves, and wanted to revamp them a bit without them losing their relationships or experiences). But in that time, Zaine became better friends with his buddy Forest, and before the gal who made Tansy rejoined the group, me and the guy who made Forest were debating if Zaine and Forest should get together. But Tansy came back and Zaine got back together with her, but I made it canon that Zaine was crushing on Forest prior to that/still a bit after Tansy came back. Zaine is in a band and it’s sort of a running joke that his band members are all betting how long it takes for a threesome or for Tansy (who’s a bit possessive) to attack Forest, and they constantly tease Zaine about how much time he spends with Forest, make “hey don’t fuel the shippers” jokes, some other stuff along those lines, etc. It’s all good natured tho.

Anyway that’s all canon. The fic was “pureshipping” - Zaine, Tansy, and Forest. It was kinda me exploring how a relationship might develop between the three of them and I was writing little bits for my friends at work based on the answers they gave me to the “How would they react to/feel about this” questions I asked before turning that into a proper story. 

It started with Tansy trying to remember when exactly she became open to the idea of polyamory, since as I said, she’s a bit possessive and got jealous easily. She recalls a night Zaine brings Forest back to their apartment after a bachelor party, with them plastered and barely able to stand. They fall down, and Zaine shushes Forest because Tansy has her laptop out and she’s working. Forest shushes Zaine back, they put their fingers against each other’s lips and keep shushing each other, drawing closer until the only thing separating their mouths are their fingers, and Tansy’s just like “whoa” and something clicks because A) she sees Zaine’s lids lower while looking at Forest the way they do when he wants to kiss HER and B) why is she not freaking out about this isn’t she a poisonous little viper that hisses at anyone that tries to flirt with Zaine? But nope, she’s never been jealous of Forest even if his and Zaine’s relationship is fairly intimate for what most consider friendship. And then a few days later she sees one of those memes that’s like “Zaine has two hands” (bc Forest is also a famous musician, and he and Zaine do a lot together, both professionally on the music front and in like. Idk, livestreams and general hanging out. so ofc weirdos ship them, and since Zaine and Tansy went public there’s gonna be ppl that include her in the weirdness) on a TVD fan page she follows so she understands some of Zaine’s inside jokes and she sees a comment from Zaine’s official facebook that’s like “these hands were made for holding!” 

and Tansy’s like. “Oh shit. Zaine DOES have two hands!” so a few days later over breakfast she asks Zaine how he REALLY feels about Forest and ofc he’s like “he’s my best friend???” and Tansy’s like “ok but no for real how do you REALLY feel about him” and then calls him out about about having a crush on him and Zaine, who’s canonically weirdly monogamous is like “no!!” but Tansy whittles him down until he admits he “HAD” a crush on Forest before he and Tansy reconnected, but swears nothing happened between them and Tansy’s like “WOULD YOU LIKE TO?” and brings up the idea of Zaine dating Forest, and Zaine’s like “I’m with you, Tans, I didn’t mean to make you feel inadequate” and she’s like “I appreciate it but not what I meant. I know you, Zaine, I know you’re a lover and not being able to tell Forest how you really feel is hurting you, so if you want to then I highly encourage you ask him out” and after like 2 whole days of debating Zaine comes back to her saying he was going to, and then a few days later they invite Forest over to have The Talk and Tansy says they’re free to date, but Forest is still mourning Kelvin, his fiancé that “died” ((in quotes bc these aren’t our characters to actually kill so all characters are just assumed dead if the roleplayer didn’t rejoin but ofc if they came back “hey surprise i’m alive!) in the war between heroes and villains and says he needs time to think about it. He thinks it over for two whole weeks -and in the meantime, Tansy is happy to see his and Zaine’s relationship hasn’t changed at all- before agreeing. They sit down to discuss boundaries and permissions and whatever, and this line: 

Tansy would never dream of forbidding them from doing anything that she and Zaine would do, especially because Zaine was a lover. He loved with all his heart, soul, and body, as if his purpose in life was to treasure his partners so thoroughly they would never question his feelings for them. It would be unfair to Forest and downright cruel to Zaine for Tansy to restrict them.

aaaa I know I wrote it but I love it. So after boundaries are discussed and all that Zaine and Forest have their first proper kiss, and it’s so sweet Tansy feels breathless alongside them. The three of them cuddle up to watch a movie but Zaine’s paying more attention to the two of them, taking turns kissing each of them while Tansy and Forest accidentally start competing for who can pull the most reactions from Zaine. Forest starts spending every weekend at Zaine and Tansy’s place and it always ends with them cuddling on the couch while watching movies, Zaine between them, but overtime Forest and Tansy become more affectionate with each other and end game was obviously the three of them, but I stopped writing it just after Forest spent the first night in bed with them.

Tansy smiled and looped her arm around Zaine, cuddling up to his side like a cat seeking attention. Zaine’s own arm found its way around her shoulders to keep her close. The last thing Tansy saw before her eyes dropped closed was Forest on the other side of Zaine mirroring her, and the last touch she registered was Forest’s hand brushing over her arm.

[painfog]

Hey so I saw you mention top surgery and was curious. I was supposed to be having top surgery this summer but that’s postponed. I was curious how that went with chronic pain? I’m scared about the surgical binder with my fibro and back pain. Any advice or info would be greatly appreciated!! (You can answer privately if you prefer)

ive actually been meaning to write up a big post on this pretty much since i had top surgery but still haven't got around to it yet so I'm happy to talk about it lol. ill go over stuff now n still aim to do a more in depth post later when im on my laptop (but writing this now bc i tend to forget everything haha). ill stick to the more fibro / chronic illness specific stuff & stuff i wasnt expecting rather than rehashing everything. apologies im on mobile so i cant put this under a cut

firstly, im sorry ur surgery got postponed! i know that must be gutting, so i hope it gets rescheduled asap & the time until then passes easily for u ❤️

I had double incision with free nipple grafts on the 4th of september 2019 with Mr Miles Berry at the london wellbeck hospital. i think he did an amazing job and can't recommend him enough for his work! i think the last pics i took of my chest were for tdov, and ill rb them after i post this for reference. i didnt have drains at any point of the surgery

for ppl with fibro, i was told that the pain after surgery either tends to trigger a flareup, or be really easily manageable, and it's hard to predict which it will be beforehand. its best to prepare for a flareup and be pleasently surprised if u dont get one. for me, i had a flareup that sucked but wasnt too bad as far as flareups go

you'll probably get given painkillers. take them regularly. it's easier to treat pain preemptively. if u don't get given them (no idea how it works outside of the uk) id say def get codine and paracetamol. u can't take ibuprofen for a while

i woke up from aneasthetic freezing cold + in a lot of pain. apparently most ppl dont need the full dose of morphine, but i did. after that it was a bit better. i was just So Goddamn Hungry literally it's all i was talking about

that night in hospital was probably one of the most uncomfortable in my life. you have to sleep sitting up for like blood reasons, so my back pain was quite bad bc of it. moving around a bit and adjusting pillows helped. if u have anything that normally helps ur back pain bring it with u to the hospital, & dont be afraid to ask the nurses for help with it (even if they can just adjust ur pillows for u). i couldnt rly sleep much but distraction helps. bring ur phone + headphones. i did a few ask memes when i couldnt sleep

the first week from surgery was rly tough, the first few days especially. this was bc i still had to sleep elevated for a few days and i couldnt get comfortable. i was too exhausted to do anything but couldn't sleep and it rly started to get me down. then i got some sleeping tablets (just nytol) and that helped so much. i literally cannot recommend it enough bc the not sleeping properly made everything hard (and like esp because with fibro the whole pain/fatigue/depression cycle is so real). once i started sleeping better recovery became a lot easier, and the tablets made the awkward sleeping positions more manageable. if i had to give only one bit of advice this would be it

on that note, ik everyone says this but do get a V pillow. it helps u adjust to sleeping on ur back and if u sleep on ur side normally it means u can like lean slightly sideways on it which makes it sm easier. also this isn't even top related but they make good back pillows when ur watching stuff in bed even now

get urself some video games (if ur into them) and easy entertainment shows lined up for when u wanna have them. recovering from major surgery makes ur fatigue even more pronounced so ur not going to be able to do all that much, but having light entertainment ready to go stops u getting as bored. its also a good excuse to finally play/watch the things you've been meaning to for a while

go outside when u can. if u have a garden just walk around it. it helps with a lot of stuff, and idk about u but i always forget how much it does. even just helping u sleep better if u get trapped in a fibro fatigued-but-can't-sleep cycle. and it goes so far helping u feel human in the first week

the first week is rly hard for a lot of ppl - its frustrating to have all that pain and exhaustion and not being able to wash or change the binder, and with the swelling and bandages under the binder it doesn't really feel like there's much change, which all sort of adds together. i keep going on about this week bc it helps to mentally prepare for it - there's no need to dread it, you just need to remind urself how worth it itll all be and that the rest of recovery is a lot better than the first part, and in time it won't have seemed that bad. big picture stuff

when u get the chest reveal, everything's better. i didnt stop smiling. and when u put the post op binder on afterwards, without all the bandaging, u like feel for the first time how much flatter u are??? and its amazing. even with the swelling. and then u get to shower and u feel human again and its great. (ik some ppl have their post ops/chest reveals much earlier than a week, but 5 days to a week is pretty standard in the uk. mine was 6 days i think)

more post op binder stuff: i got given 2. the first one i woke up in after the surgery and wasn't allowed to take off until my post op, and the second one i got given at my post op to change into after i showered. After that i alternated every few days. whatever u get given, if u get less than 2 i recommend getting another one so u can alternate them (if u want help sourcing them hmu. ive also still got mine i need to give away)

the post op binders were actually a lot easier to wear full time than normal binders. they were like more stretchy, and stretchy the full way round (bc they dont have the compression bit at the front). i used to sleep in my normal binder every time i slept with my ex, and that hurt like a motherfuck sometimes. the post op binder was much kinder to my ribs

i had to wear the post op binder full time, taking it off like once a day to shower n let my chest breathe (and massage my scars once i started that). some surgeons arent that strict abt wearing it that long, but it really helps swelling, & bc i didnt have drains it was rly important to stop fluid buildup. ik quite a few guys in my trans groups who stopped wearing their binder fairly early and then got quite a lot of swelling so i didn't want to risk it & i wore it for the full 6 weeks. at some point (icr when but maybe at 6 weeks? bc my post op was at 8 weeks bc he was on holiday) i didnt wear it during the day and only wore it at night

all in all the binder didnt bother me that much. it was more comfortable than my regular binders and i just kinda got on with it. it was annoying tho and i was glad when i could stop wearing it. for me the most annoying part was that it was a full length binder (i always wore half length before) and the riding up at the hips was rly irritating. i actually quite liked sleeping with it tho it was a pretty nice pressure stim ahah

some post op binders r more comfortable than others. if u have to buy ur own, i rly suggest going with a proper surgical one (they arent too hard to find second hand for free or cheap, again im happy to help here) bc they're kinder to chronic pain. i know that having a comfortable post op binder made it all a lot easier for me. there are also lots of alternatives w lots of price ranges tho, so that's not ur only option

ok i think thats everything right now! sorry its so long, but let me know if u have any questions!!

finally: before i got top ppl told me that its honestly life changing, and i didnt realise how true that would be. literally every single aspect of my life is at least partially better because of it, and most of them drastically so. I'm really excited for you to get that for yourself, and im wishing u all the best for it 💕

[musicdork]

hello am SO TIRED, painting took so much outta me. i painted my room all by myself and it took about half the day wowie. but it is DONE and now i just need to decorate💪🏼💪🏼 i saw ur post about only sleeping four hours and EXCUSE ME, U BEST BE HAVING MORE SLEEP THAN THAT U NEED IT FOR NUTRIENTS(that makes sense) also where r my manners i just relized i have YET to send in anything about ur mans josuke??? heres a tik tok that i think u will like. i’m a silly billy 100% so—https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJbM9NGV/ i hope u have seen clone high (or at least the memes u kno)

oh i wanna read stone ocean SO BAD, but also i want to try and attempt to be a good noodle and read all the parts beforehand yknow😖 but when stone ocean anime comes out...u best be knowin..i will Look and Simp all the way.. also v nice about the rewatches!!! diu is genuinely such a feel good part, the most out of all the other parts imo. its upbeat, its colorful, its silly, gah. so good. not 2 mention those bombass ops. UNF the songs r so good. i like how ur rewatching part five :) i think vento aureo is my personal comfort part(despite the tragic events AAAAAA) the visuals and the location and the characters..so beautiful. its physically satisfying for my eyeballs to look at u know?

ohhh man not me listening to the kakyoin playlist before i went to bed last night...not me catching feelings and being IN my feelings while listening to the playlist and desperately wanting to cuddle with him as i fall asleep....n most of the songs in the playlist i knew already i felt so cool dude😎

thats awesome abt college!! and VERY NICE WITH UR DOUBLE MAJOR LIKE UHHHMMMM thats so intense??? crazy. what a smart person. u got it in the bag bro. also its my second yr in college rn, and i aspire to be a professional musician :) but the motivation IS lacking, i dont blame u. esp with covid restrictions making everyone work online and cut off different real life interactions, its fucked and screwing everyone up. no cap. but ANTWAY how was ur day?? i hope it was nice ??!?!! :) did u do anything interesting? even if it was watching tv rolled up in a blanket? (im doing that rn)

(guess who saw ur kakyoin reblogs?? and LOVED THEM??? thank u for the food..,.i am a bad noodle i need to find some fire josuke to reblog. just for u)

-from the tiredest secretive mostnt strnskslymyn andjfoeorngswo ANSON 😗😗😗🤙🏼 🥰

i got sleep dont u worry!! but hell yea, you got the big job out of the way >:D painting a room sounds tiring i,,, you poor soul hhh

I SAW THE TIKTOK

AND MY BROTHER GAVE ME A WEIRD LOOK LIKE “wtf u laughin at” he wanted to see, and he did, but he didn’t get it slkfemsnekj i didn’t get it too much either?? i’ve only seen,,, 3 or 4 episodes of clone high but i know who that Bastard is and i laughed my ass off. i’m also listening to a playlist i made for josuke atm uwu i am really glad you liked the kak playlist!! you are a Legend for knowing most of the songs. i only know some bc of the memes :’)

it’s very valid that you’re trying to read jojo chronologically. i’m just,, impatient LMAO. i plan on actually reading all of it but it’ll probably end up like how i read haikyuu,,, i’ll be fixated for a week or so, put it down for like 3 months, then remember that i wanna read it, read One (1) chapter, then put it down for another 2 months, then bLAZE THROUGH IT LMAO. reading digital manga has been kinda odd for me,, i tend to procrastinate a lot,, but yes!! part 5 has some amazing visuals and i am jealous like?? i wanna go to itally??? i’ve kinda always wanted to go i shove down my hetalia phase and i even tried to learn italian!! but,, didn’t last,, haha,, i still appreciate the culture and all that tho <3

sm...smart? homie i am failing two classes im, im no way smart i just like torturing myself i think. i can be over ambitious too sefklslek bUT YO?? YOU WANNA BE A MUSCIAN?? :0 THAT’S HELLA POG TF!!! you better invite me to your concerts in the future or i am suing you Somehow. wait do you play an instrument or do you sing?? :0 either way, you my friend are So Cool what the hell. i get to be moots with u?? im gonna cry-- i’m kinda glad covid happened only for the reason that it gave me extra scholarship money, very pog. other than that it needs to go away lmao.

but skdelk my day was Okay at most. i was sleeping for a good bit of it,, it kinda fucked up my plans for today honestly. i’ll try to get my day together eventually,, i hope your day was good dude!! am glad i can keep u well fed hehe

[rouge-the-bat]

OOPS I HAD STARTED THIS THEN SAVED AS A DRAFT TO FINISH LATER BUT THEN FORGOT SO ITS. BEEN A BIT SINCE I WAS ACTUALLY TAGGED FOR THIS LMAO

ANYWAYS i was tagged by @skayforrest :'33

Rules: Please make your own text post when answering these to avoid long posts. Highlight/bold what applies to you!

for me to make it easier for me to read im going for:

bold: definitely me :3

italics: kinda me!

strikethrough: not me at All

(subscript parenthesis): my comments! (bc im very rambly lol)

also changing // between different phrases to ♡♡ to make it easier for me to distinguish between phrases too owo

♡  Appearance ♡

I am over 5’5 ♡♡ I wear glasses/contacts ♡♡ I have blonde hair ♡♡ I prefer loose clothing over tight clothing ♡♡ I have one or more piercings (my ears!) ♡♡ I have at least one tattoo (i want to get one of a drawing ive made soon tho!) ♡♡ I have blue eyes ♡♡ I have dyed or highlighted my hair (its p much back to normal now tho- and i want to dye it pink someday) ♡♡ I have gotten plastic surgery ♡♡ I have or had braces ♡♡ I sunburn easily ♡♡ I have freckles ♡♡ I paint my nails (not super often but i have fun doing it occasionally owo!) ♡♡ I typically wear makeup (i rarely do and usually its just lispstick, with maybe eyshadow and/or eyeliner) ♡♡ I don’t often smile (i can be really smiley sometimes but i dont interact with others much (esp irl) so i tend to not emote a whole lot) ♡♡ I am pleased with how I look (im cute round n chubby!!) ♡♡ I prefer nike to adidas (i literally dont care) ♡♡ I wear baseball caps backwards

♡ Hobbies & Interests ♡

I play a sport (i play... wii sports and real life bowling sometimes at most :'3) ♡♡ I can play an instrument (its been a really long time but i learned clarinet from school band) ♡♡ I am artistic ♡♡ I know more than one language (id like to learn some tho, like japanese, french, and/or korean maybe?) ♡♡ I have won a trophy in some sort of competition (never a Literal trophy :O) ♡♡ I can cook or bake without a recipe ♡♡ I know how to swim ♡♡ I enjoy writing (i like to but school has made me anxious anytime i try now ;w;) ♡♡ I can do origami ♡♡ I prefer movies to tv shows ♡♡ I can execute a perfect somersault ♡♡ I enjoy singing (exclusively for singing along, i dont really ever sing on my own lol) ♡♡ I could survive in the wild on my own ♡♡ I have read a new book series this year ♡♡ I enjoy spending time with my friends (who wouldnt!! esp with my friends, theyre amazing :'3) ♡♡ I travel during school or work breaks (id like to travel more..) ♡♡ I can do a handstand

♡ Relationships ♡

I am in a relationship (my girlfriend is so wonderful 🥰) ♡♡ I have been single for over a year (been dating my gf for almost 2 full years now!) ♡♡ I have a crush (fictional crushes count right? bc i have a million of those lol) ♡♡ I have a best friend I have known for ten years ♡♡ My parents are together ♡♡ I have hooked up with my best friend (thats meaning sexual right? bc im sex repulsed and so is my gf whos my best friend so, absolutely not lol) ♡♡ I am adopted ♡♡ My crush has confessed to me (im p much always the first to confess lol) ♡♡ I have had a long-distance relationship (hopefully someday tho it wont be long distance :'3) ♡♡ I am an only child (dear god no i have. 1 full brother, 3 half brothers, 1 half sister, and 2 or 3 step brothers gjkxjfk) ♡♡ I give advice to my friends (im not the best with advice but i try when i can!!) ♡♡ I have made an online friend (all of my current friends are online!) ♡♡ I met up with someone I have met online (GOD I WISH)

♡ Aesthetics ♡

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell ♡♡ I have watched the sunrise (many times, after being awake all night bc im p mych nocturnal lol) ♡♡ I enjoy rainy days (god i love rain so much) ♡♡ I have slept under the stars (iirc im p sure ive slept in a tent for going camping before ??? but my memory sucks so im not sure if that happened or i just always wanted to gjkdjg) ♡♡ I meditate outside (maybe i should try that sometime..) ♡♡ The sound of chirping calms me ♡♡ I enjoy the smell of the beach (ive been to a beach just a couple times.. i dont remember what it smelled like) ♡♡ I know what snow tastes like (i eat snow EVERY time it snows here, esp to make snow cream) ♡♡ I listen to music to fall asleep (on occasion! always instrumental stuff, sometimes meant for relaxing or sometimes just a comfort song from a game i love) ♡♡ I enjoy thunderstorms ♡♡ I enjoy cloud watching ♡♡ I have attended a bonfire ♡♡ I pay close attention to colors (ofc ! i love colors and graphic design is my passion- but like Actually, im not quoting the meme lol) ♡♡ I find mystery in the ocean ♡♡ I enjoy hiking on nature paths (would REALLY need to be in the mood for it) ♡♡ Autumn is my favourite season (close ! i love the chilly air and aesthetic of autumn as well, but winter is my ultimate comfort season <3)

♡ Miscellaneous ♡

I can fall asleep in moving vehicles ♡♡ I am the mom friend (mom friend mode can activate on Occasion, but usually im silly bastard friend) ♡♡ I am involved in extracurricular activities (im not in school) ♡♡ I enjoy mexican food ♡♡ I can drive a stick-shift (i still havent learned how to drive yet owo;;) ♡♡ I believe in true love (probably not in a typical sense?) ♡♡ I make up scenarios to fall asleep (oh no, i make up scenarios constantly in my head throughout the day, i get way too invested in them so they usually keep me up if i think about them when trying to sleep) ♡♡ I sing in the shower ♡♡ I wish I lived in a superhero movie (i def wanna live in some fictional worlds, but superhero movies arent things im usually into) ♡♡ I have a canopy above my bed ♡♡ I am multiracial (im not super familiar with my ancestry rn, so idk. would like to know sometime tho) ♡♡ I am a redhead ♡♡ I own at least 3 dogs/cats (rn i have 2 dogs and 3 cats!)

and uhhh ill tag @spiiderbiites @miphelda @kipokin @queerplyke @ameila if yall wanna do it :3? (if yalld like i can go thru n supply a version of this without all of my font edits and comments!) AH WHOOPS I GOT A URL MESSED UP BUT XENOLEAF U CAN DO TOO IF U WANT

[aqvarius]

lol i gotta ask, why do you hate the romance md mc? i haven’t played the game (i hate love choice) she popped up in ayumu pov and err she seemed a litte eccentric ? lol ppl seem to love her from what ive seen so i would a different perspective on her character.

haha okay so i touched on this a bit in my reviews of takado and hosho but let me try to summarise:

basically, i love mcs i can relate to but also find inspiring? like i like mcs who i can see parts of myself in, enough that i look at them and think “if i try really hard to be a good person, i can be like them”. that’s why even with the masukisu mc, i like her well enough, but i like her the most when she fails and makes mistakes bc perfect characters are so boring. 

anyway with otoge, i know a lot of people are like waaa mcs are too emotional and weak and insecure about everything but (and maybe it’s just because i’m Peak Insecure) i love that? i like it when they’re emotionally vulnerable and feel things and get hurt cause it helps me (1) be able to relate based on my own relationship/love/hurt/failure at work experience and (2) feel more invested in their character and relationship and development bc it’s clear through their emotional responses that they’re falling in love (or overcoming a problem in their relationship or at work/school/etc.). and if you’re like me and read with a semi self-insert intention, then it’s easier for me to fall in love with not just the LI/MC as a couple but also the actual thought of being in mutual love with the love interest. 

so for me the problem with the rmd mc is that she is all surface sass with no emotional substance. i found it very incongruous that she’s supposed to be all meta and love this one (v generic) otome game character but have no interest in real men, because ALL OF RMD’S CHARACTERS ARE VERY CLEARLY OTOME GAME CHARACTER ARCHETYPES. her dialogue with them often reads as like they put 100 points in “snark” and 0 points in any other personality trait. she’s really full of herself (she’s literally in a university/training hospital and somehow thinks she knows better than these elite specialists just bc she’s read a lot of journals??). she’s eccentric in a way that i don’t find particularly cute bc it comes off more as arrogant than passionate to me (maybe bc the writing style for her dialogue is so clinical?)

with someone like hlitf mc, she is righteous to a fault and often will try to like butt in where she’s not needed and be like “noooo i can’t compromise my MoRaLs” but she also has respect for her instructors and is humble enough to know that she does need to listen to their advice, and we often see her fail when she just does it her way without taking their expertise into consideration. because of this, we get to see her self-doubt from the beginning develop into confidence and applicable skill as a working detective. we also get to see snippets where she has to compromise on those morals and overcome adversity to do her job. so we actually get to see her realise her own flaws and learn and grow from them.

however, with rmd mc, we basically never see her have to face any adversity and thus we don’t get to see her develop. she hardly has any inner weaknesses to develop or overcome because she has no personality substance beneath that sassy and nerdy exterior. that’s why she’s only ever interesting when she has the entire crew of doctors in that room off which to bounce dialogue but is so bland when it comes to actual relationship development. her inner monologue as she’s supposed to be falling in love is so insincere because she is written in a way that is very... unemotional? so she goes from “i don’t care about men i only care about READING” to like “what????? i love him????/”  and like if your own first person perspective character doesn’t know or believe she’s in love, then how am i as a reader supposed to suddenly believe it. that’s why i find rmd quite disappointing overall because the LIs actually have good backstories and it would be rewarding to see them gradually open up and fall in love but unfortunately that story is wasted on someone who in my opinion doesn’t allow us to see the full emotional potential of that development. 

for example, there are elements of hosho’s route and rei kamiki’s route (from irresistible mistakes) that i find very comparable, in that hosho and dr mc end up cuddling to sleep a lot and rei and the im mc end up basically sharing a bed to sleep together as well iirc? in both cases, we are confronted with having to deal with growing one-sided feelings in a relationship where there is physical closeness but it’s only platonic. and yet somehow, even tho hosho’s back story is way more traumatic than rei’s, the emotional ride of falling in love, having that conflict and then ending up together is so much more convincing and rewarding in rei’s route because of his mc (i.e. the perspective that we read in the MS). 

also tbh i think i just like softness? i think it’s really clear by my posts that my favourite moments are when LIs who are normally more stoic/mean are all soft and gooey for the person they love. but rmd mc has no softness under her prickliness lmao. anyway i said i would summarise but i ended up ranting again so my apologies if you like this mc but i personally think the only time she reads as interesting is if you literally only see like 5 slide screenshot posts on tumblr bc you can enjoy her being sassy without having to suffer through her lack of emotional substance 

EDIT: i do wanna disclaim that in some more recent hlitf stories/chapters (although can’t remember which ones gave me this impression off the top of my head), i have seen dialogue that sometimes gives me rmd mc vibes. i’m not sure if it’s the same translator/translation team or this is just a trend that voltage is heading towards, but i do remember getting that feeling a couple times and then getting a bit anxious lmao that one of my favourite genuine mcs might be getting corrupted. i haven’t yet been able to pinpoint what exactly it is, but i think it’s that the tone can sometimes come across as blasé or is expressed in a more meme-y turn of phrase where i feel it should be more genuine/sincere? but either way, the writing in hlitf is amazing and we’ve already been given so much wonderful development so i’m not overly worried 

EDIT 2: i also wanna add that i know a lot of people like her nerdiness and sassiness i respect that but let’s not pretend that she’s the first nerdy or sassy voltage mc ever lol. hlitf mc forces ayumu to watch freaking era of samurai code of love and nerds out over old school detective dramas (amongst many other things... mizuki fujisaki.....). im mc is a workaholic and a cat lady who could literally talk for 5 hours about tachibana’s ads. bmp mc is CONSTANTLY sassing all of them, esp prince keith lol. mlfk mc is such a dork. scm mc knows every single Greek myth about the stars. msb mc is a theatre nerd. eitm mc does not ever let miyabi or kyoga get away with their shit. however, they are all still VERY CUTE MCs.

anyway i could keep going on and on but all i’m saying is that in so many voltage games, the mc is CLEARLY the only one with a braincell out of the entire cohort of men and the fact that she is the only person with common sense (while also having her own hobbies and interests) while all these men around her are ridiculous is a great selling point so personally i don’t think voltage needed to overcompensate the way they did and delete her emotional capacity function. 

[untaintedtea]

I should have written this earlier when Witcher Netflix was more fresh in my mind (I haven't done a proper rewatch yet) but I still wanted to write a post about some thoughts I had (that I actually remember lol) and stuff I want in the next season. It's like 99% about Geralt/Yen/Ciri bc I have three brain cells and they're dedicated to them.

The spoiler-free stuff: I definitely loved it! There's some scenes in the book that I would have loved to have seen on screen that I'll mention later, but I really liked it for the most part. My main issue is the pacing, but I understand them trying to fit so much into only 8 episodes -- I hope next season will have at least 10 or even 12 eps to fully flesh out the storylines. There were times where I wondered how easy it was to follow if you didn't know the books, and it seems that it's kinda been mixed? But all-in-all people are loving it, there's lots of memes and new content, and I'm happy about that.

Yennefer's backstory and Anya Chalotra were the highlights for me, and I loved Tissaia as well. By "I haven't done a proper rewatch" I mean that I've only rewatched the first ep (Renfri ❤️) and the parts with Geralt/Yennefer lmao. I'll prob watch it all again later on. Now to the spoilery stuff (includes some refs to the books):

Some specific stuff I liked:

Geralt finally being able to sleep in the Last Wish episode and then him saying in the next ep that before he met Yen, "nights were restless" so she/the thought of her helps him sleep now? lol

Yen touching Geralt's face after he tells her she's important to him as if she can't believe she's important to someone right then and needs to make sure he's real or that she's not dreaming 😭

Téa and Véa and how they actually talked instead of not really communicating well themselves in the books

Yen's elven blood being emphasized and it being a thing that allows her to be naturally inclined towards magic…idek I'm just into that lmao

Geralt "hm"-ing all the time was excellent and is, unfortunately, v relatable

I wasn't gonna say this but since I posted about his casting on my blog previously…I'm still not a fan of Henry but I cannot deny his knowledge and dedication to Geralt and the Witcher lore, and I think he portrayed Geralt very well to the point where I don’t think I imagine anyone else playing the role now? I really mean this bc before I refused to reblog/tweet anything with him in it bc I’m petty LMAO

This is obvious but Toss a Coin to Your Witcher is the song of the year and Her Sweet Kiss is also good. @ netflix soundtrack WHEN

Some stuff I have issues with:

Istredd getting an expanded storyline is fine with me (and will probably set up better angst) but I wish he didn't do the thing Geralt does in Thanedd where he thinks about things Yen likes…I guess that's minor by itself, but Geralt thinking about the house in Thanedd is so important and I hope at least they keep that for the future. Also making the imaginary sorcerers Yennefer conjured up clap like in Thanedd is like…ok I'll allow it but Thanedd better be Extra Good bc I remember reading the part where they're in bed again when I wanted to make myself upset lmao

I wish we got the line when Geralt first called Yennefer "Yen" because "nobody's ever called me that. Say it again" is SO POWERFUL and I think that would have helped set up Geralt/Yen better in the series. Anya did describe the relationship as "animalistic and full of lust" and honestly that's fair but I also want people to understand why tf I'm smiling when we watch them fuck after the last wish instead of being like "ok but where did this come from" lmao. Yeah they’re horny af but pls!!!

Tbh I just want more Angst...like in the Bounds of Reason ep, the "you left" thing and Geralt asking for forgiveness was so short and would have been better if they just…expanded on it a little more…idek this is where I really wished they had an extra episode or two just to elaborate :/

The lack of baby dragon is so sad tbh. I liked that they did without Yen getting her titties exposed and threatened with rape obviously but the baby dragon running over to Yen tho!!

Ciri is my sweet child whom I love dearly and I understand her storyline but I wasn't super into her parts in a way? It makes sense since she's running and hiding and I felt her panic and loneliness and all that, but I think this could have only been fixed if they did Brokilon like in the books. I guess they'd have to cut down on Calanthe maybe?

As for the "Who is Yennefer?" ending:

I know many book readers weren't super satisfied with this, since ofc this is the famous "you're something more" scene, but I think it's fine within the context of the show because of the way Brokilon was handled (obviously I would have liked to see Geralt + Ciri interactions so we could have gotten “something more” though). It also sets up a connection between Yen + Ciri early on -- not really a strong one, but a connection nonetheless. And ofc it makes sense to people who don't know the books, and this is an adaptation after all.

I wish it wasn't as abrupt though? The fact that Ciri's first words to Geralt were about Yennefer is kind of a weird, but I guess that Ciri's vision was so vivid she couldn't help it maybe? And her mentioning Yennefer after Geralt talked about being linked by destiny enforces that it's all three of them linked.

I think this ending line allows for flashbacks via communication? Like if Geralt were to tell Ciri about Yen (and Yen telling Ciri about Geralt), they could elaborate on the relationship between Geralt/Yennefer that way and maybe have a flashback episode or at least a few scenes. I don’t really imagine Geralt saying too much about Yen but still?

So that takes us to things I want in the next season (not exhaustive; I need to do a BoE re-read):

The Dear Friend letter!!

And obviously before that, Triss staying at Kaer Morhen for a while…I wouldn't mind if they completely wrote out any attraction she had to Geralt ofc, but Ciri being sure that Triss is "not Geralt's woman" is also good

Imagine Ciri reading Yennefer's mind and accidentally seeing her thoughts about Geralt…not that she'd even need to though, as long as Yen tells Ciri that Geralt's hands are very gentle is enough lmao. But I'd love the "what is there between you and Geralt" line! In general, I really want Yen/Geralt to be like, the most obvious thing to the audience lol.

Yen telling Ciri that she's lucky bc Ciri knows that Geralt will come back for her and Yen isn't sure that Geralt would do the same for her 😭

Since they're doing the story with Nivellen, I'm hoping for other short stories to be adapted too. My favourite is A Shard of Ice, and I read that it's Henry's favourite too so I'm optimistic about it being included somehow. And since Istredd has a bigger role, it could work? ALSO WE NEED EVERYONE TO KNOW ABOUT THE UNICORN. PLEASE

Flashbacks to Belleteyn (is having another orgy scene ok. pls say yes) and the Geralt seeing that the 14th name on the hill wasn't Yennefer. He wanted to die again ahhhhhhh

Yarpen asking Geralt "is [Ciri] yours?"

More Jaskier songs about Geralt/Yen…even just one pls

And more angst bc like. There's so much come on lmao hurt the audience

A lot of Yennefer + Ciri. Just a Lot of it.

[bluebrine]

ask meme time

tagged in by @a-humble-goblin​! C:

name: i go by Blue here!

nickname: ..... well, Blue again! (or whatever shorthand of my URLs ppl have used in the past... i never was enough of an active poster anywhere to get real nicknames given to me lol)

zodiac: as piscean as a pisces could be! 🐟

height: 5′8 (the shorty of the family.... curse you, 6′5 brother!!)

languages: monolingual english speaker here. shoulda kept up with spanish from high school, but alas :( looking to learn latin for taxonomic purposes someday though!

nationality: american- but more specifically, tennessean! ⛰️ ~good ol’ rocky top...

favorite season: the cool seasons! ^^ fall and winter are the best. the rain and wind of spring is also nice though! (basically anything except the sweaty-ass days of southern summers are alright with me lol)

favorite flower: oh boy. uh. i like a lot of plants... this one’s a toughie! it changes depending on what’s in season tbh. right now its the sweet little things we call ‘field pansies’ around here. they’re one of the first things to catch my attention on these early, sunny spring days

proper name is Veronica peduncularis, or ‘creeping speedwell’. sadly its not native to my area though :(

favorite scent: literally nothing on earth smells better than onions & garlic frying on the stovetop. full-stop. a fool-proof way to lure me into any trap, would 100% work in any situation

favorite fictional character: this changes depending on what i’m fixating on atm, but i’m on a dishonored kick rn, so it’s my girl lizzie stride! B) i’m always a sucker for mean-ass, violent gang ladies and she checks every box on my list tbh (and those TEETH. woof)

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: hot chocolate babey!! B) i’m just here for tasty sweet drinks- i don’t care for tea or coffee at all. i have to add an ungodly amount of cream & sugar anyway to make ‘em drinkable. (also, caffeine literally does nothing to wake me up. its a cruel fate for my eternally tired self)

average sleep: i’m on a senior citizen’s sleep schedule... usually in bed by 9:30-11:00, & up at 5:00-6:00. a big leap from my early days of bed at 4 am, and pulling all-nighters..... i don’t think i could physically do that nowadays lmao

dogs or cats: hmm, cats slightly more probably? they’re more relaxing to be around, which is nice. love both though! (i have no pets atm, but looking to adopt some pigeons in the future! 🕊)

my old cat louie was my baby though. not sure any other cat can one-up his grumpy ass, but one day i’d like to have another cat with me. (he looks polite here but he was a total butthole, don’t be fooled!!)

number of blankets: 1 (one) big-ass weighted comforter (20 lbs)

dream trip: i would love to see the pacific ocean some day! 🌊

blog established: uh, i know it was the summer before i started high school...? oh god. i was a baby. who let me on here

random fact: the american persimmon (Diospyros virginiana) is a tree with fruit so popular in its native ecosystem, that it also goes by such delightful names as possum apples, deer candy, or sugar plums!

(bonus tmi fact: most of the seeds i’m propagating this year were found as the aftermath to some happy possum or coyote’s fall meal. but hey, according to this paper, the digestive process of these mammals actually boosts germination rates! go nature)

current time: 3:30 pm! a lovely overcast afternoon on this fine weekend of mine

favorite musical artists: Ulvesang, Black Hill, The Crane Wives, The Oh Hellos (... my favs are really just what i’ve been listening to recently lmao)

stuck in my head: gimme gimme gimme! by ABBA :y

last movie i saw: hmm... that would have to be knives out! saw it with em after we were gonna go laugh at cats, but missed it by like 2 days :( knives out was fun tho! hadn’t been to an actual theatre for a while, so the experience was nice. got to split one of those giant buckets of grease-corn, which was amazing

last thing i googled: .... technically, it was ‘fish emoji’ for this post. before that it was ‘american wild persimmon seed germination’ because i just got mine outta the fridge and into the pots for the spring! hope to have an ok amount sprout... i’d like to see these guys fruiting in a few years! (2 seeds per section- assuming a success rate of 25%, i might get 12 trees out of these! we will see)

lucky number: don’t really have one? i like the evenness of 8, but i don’t take any real stock in lucky numbers

currently wearing: the usual- tank top with comfy shorts!

dream job: working on my paleontology degree right now- trying to make this dream real soon! 🦕

favorite foods: pasta with cream sauces. literally anything that fits that definition is my fav. best combo i’ve made so far is something with grilled chicken, sautéed mushrooms + onions + garlic, and a cream sauce with spinach /chef’s kiss/

instruments: none! ain’t got a musical bone in my entire body 

favorite song: i possibly can’t pick this, but i’m listening to Curses by The Crane Wives right now!