#me: that looks like a fat bald Jason's mom

[gonzodangerfeels]

...

Delicious

Scrumptious

Edibles

Fucking you in the water on a public beach

Better: fucking you on a private beach

[palmett-hoes]

Do you have any fan casts or strong takes/feelings on the foxes’ appearances? Fandom tends to use the same Pinterest models, which feels wrong to me.

i do in fact! i've actually been meaning to make a post about how i choose to write all of the foxes' ethnicities anyway

but yes i absolutely agree that the typical pinterest model types u generally see on edits is not how i see any of them. nor is reece king or froy gutierrez or lucky blue smith one of my FCs for anyone

for a lot of them i don't necessarily have a single specific FC so much as i have like,, a general impression of features that i will see on various different people, who all may look wildly different from each other or who may not even look how i see the character as a whole but do have a specific feature i associate with them. mostly it boils down to the Energy i get tbh and that's just a Feeling i cant even explain

fun fact im a tiny bit face blind so that might account for some of why i'm so all-over about this

may as well go chronologically. some of them i definitely have more thoughts on than others

1. Dan

ethnicity: Afro Native (Sioux)

features: medium dark skin. buzzcut, killer fade. she often styles it in waves. she's very butch, wears a lot of basketball and cargo shorts, tank tops and flannels and jerseys, hiking boots. skinny but muscular, with a very rectangular body shape. defined jaw. probably like 5'4 or 5'5

FC/Energy: sometimes i get some dan energy out of janelle monae but more butch. lotta dan energy out of samira wiley. lashana lynch

2. Kevin

ethnicity: a lot of things tbd, but he's pretty multi-ethnic. i like the idea of kayleigh being half- or a quarter-japanese in addition to irish because it gives her more of a reason to go to japan for her undergrad. wymack is from d.c. which is a majority black city for its actual residents, but i also like the idea of him being Pasifika/Hawaiian. HOWEVER - and this is pretty important to my read of kevin's character - he's white passing, and has been mostly treated as a white guy who tans his whole life, like occasionally asked if he's italian maybe. learning that his father was a Distinctly Not White Man was a big shock to him.

kristin kreuk, lindsay price, phoebe cates, and marie digby are all half-asian actresses i base kayleigh on

i suppose i base his story partially on broadway actress carol channing, who revealed publically that she was a quarter black when she was like 80 years old. though maybe wentworth miller, a biracial actor who knows his father is black but also doesn't know him, is more accurate to kevin's story. then keanu reeves is a white passing actor with asian ancestry

also none of these people look anything like how i picture kevin lol. kevin is just like,, a guy. handsome ig. but kind of in a CW character kind of way

actually

kevin looks exactly like young jason momoa

3. Andrew

ethnicity: kayin/karen from myanmar

features: fat and muscular, very wide and heavy. this blog is basically all andrew body type refs. medium-olive skin, has a bit of a greyish tinge that makes him look a bit eerie or unhealthy. deep set, droopy eyes; looks so tired. flat face with a low-bridged nose. crooked teeth, especially his canines. natural hair black-ish but he bleaches it light blond. has the beginnings of martial artist punching callouses in his knuckles

FC/Energy: holy shit the characters i feel have Andrew Energy are all over the place. pedro pascal. babe ruth (yes fr). oddjob (harold sakata) from goldfinger. the jinn (mousa kraish) from american gods. gaear grimsrud (peter stormare) from fargo. takeshi kovacs (joel kinnaman) from altered carbon. and i wanna be clear, it's these characters specifically, and generally NOT the actors outside of that specific role. except pedro ❤️

4. Matt

ethnicity: cuban

appearance: matt has more of an Energy than specific features to me rn. that energy is Warm. he has that Warm bro jock dude energy. kind of a marvel hero build, hunky and muscular. very rectangular face. has this haircut:

5. Aaron

i get to cut myself some slack and not go AS in depth about aaron because he and andrew are identical twins

ethnicity: kayin/karen from myanmar

appearance: similar build to andrew, less confident and casual posture and body language. less apathetically murderous and more emotive expressions. better teeth bc his mom took him to the dentist. yes also bleaches his hair

celebrities: probably a lot like the difference between the characters and the actors. andrew is the characters and aaron is how the actors actually look. idk ive never looked at someone and thought 'hey! looks like aaron!'

6. Seth

ethnicity: have been going with half-vietnamese. considering looking into various south asian possibilities like pakistani

appearance: string bean build. that's all i have to offer

7. Allison

ethnicity: allison's very up in the air for me. she and seth are the two foxes i feel fine with being white, but im committing to having no white foxes sooo. i would say i generally see her as either half-middle eastern or chinese

appearance: plus sized and hourglass shaped. heart shaped face. taller, like 5'8 or 5'9. she has a pretty fraught history with her appearance and her parents payed for/pressured her into getting a nose job to have a 'prettier' nose. she also bleaches her hair blonde. she gets it done at a salon tho the twinyards do it in their bathroom

FC/Energy: elle king and nadia aboulhosn are my main inspos for her, esp body type but nadia esp in Vibes

8. Nicky

ethnicity: multi-ethnic. his mother is southern mexican Indigenous, possibly oaxacan. his father is mixed white/kayin

appearance: definitely takes after his mother while his father is white passing. dark brown skin, warm undertones. slightly stocky build. tall ovular head and thin aquiline nose. he's kind of just,, the opposite of the twins ig, so like their facial features look very different, which is a big part of why people don't make the connection between him and the twins alongside the difference in their skin tones, heights, and builds. nicky's build and features are very vertically-oriented, with a tall head, narrow-set eyes, thin nose with a high bridge, etc. the twins are horizontally-orienged, with broad, flat faces, wide-set eyes, wide noses with a low bridge, etc.

FC/Energy: yalitza aparicio, not a guy but one of the few Mexican Indigenous stars in the film industry and i really like her features for nicky. she's oaxacan

9. Renee

ethnicity: Black. african american

appearance: plus sized, circular/apple body shape. round face. dark skin. microlocs to a bit past her chin, bleached white and dyed at the ends. she and allison go to the salon together. femme but plain style, a lot of blouses and long skirts, practical shoes. knuckle callouses. about 5'6

FC/Energy: dominique fishback. tracie thoms, esp in RENT. gabourey sidibe. nicole byer, but not in Energy. brandy, for some reason, probably bc i think she has very serene Energy and is a little bit otherworldly. like if brandy played arwen or galadriel from lotr it would make perfect sense to me, and that's the Renee Energy™️

10. Neil

ethnicity: mixed. Black/Jewish on both sides. his father is polish ashkenazi and afro-brazilian. his mother is Black British and algerian jewish

appearance: very... sharp. like sharp all over. does that make sense? sharp features, sharp face shape, sharp angles to his body. he's got what i vaguely think of as a 'basketball build' not meaning tall but meaning very rangy and angular and lean. all limbs. seth has a similar build. lighter brown skin. he has waardenburg syndrome which is actually where he gets he gets his eye color, and his eyes are very large and widely spaced as well. freckles freckles freckles. freckles everywhere. 4a hair but at least during canon it's not very healthy and thus the curls aren't well-defined. he grows it out long enough to tie back and starts taking better care of it in post-canon. wonky, slightly crooked teeth, with a gap between the fronts

FC/Energy: now neil i actually have a ton for. mostly models which im a lil ashamed of bc i do try to draw more from athletes. alton mason is a main body type ref. mugsy bogues is good to see what i mean about the basketball build without the height. here're the boys: cykeem white, luka sabbat, désiré mia, Leo Hoyte-Egan, dylan hasselbaink, this beautiful stock photo model i've never been able to track down

i think about him every. goddamn. day.

in terms of like,, real ppl and not models: corbin bleu, especially during Jump In. figure skater elladj balde. rayan "ray ray" lopez from mindless behavior. A$AP Rocky a lil bit, maybe i just like his hairstyle idk

two more models i think are important: carissa pinkston and ralph souffrant

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Magnolia

I don’t know much about Magnolia or Paul Thomas Anderson, but I do know that it takes someone paying me to get me to watch a 3-hr+ drama that doesn’t star Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, and a really big boat. This is one of my mom’s favorite movies which is why she requested it for me to review. It’s packed with a balls-to-the-wall star-studded cast (Tom Cruise! Julianne Moore! Phillip Seymour Hoffman! John C. Reilly! William H. Macy! Felicity Huffman!) and I’m genuinely excited to see how they all fit together. Cause they have to all fit together in some coherent way, right? Well...

Do you remember in Sorry to Bother You when the Equisapiens came out and things just took like...a real turn? That’s kind of what this was like. Whereas StBY pushed a thought to its most extreme, but logical, conclusion, what Paul Thomas Anderson has done here feels like a magician doing a lot of impressive illusions - sawing a lady in half, making a motorcycle disappear, pulling smaller things out of bigger things - and then for his final trick, walking onstage amidst a grand plume of smoke, dropping his pants, taking a gigantic shit, and then saying, “You’ve been a great audience, thanks a lot and goodnight!” It’s not like you can say the experience was BAD. Everything up to the finale was a really great time! But when you’re left on a note that is that bafflingly odd, it kinda colors the way you’ll remember the whole thing.

Magnolia is the story of one long day in the life of 12 people living in Los Angeles who are all connected via an extensive web from acquaintances to married couples to parents and children to paid caregivers and beyond. It’s a day that has the same kind of ups and downs as any other day until it, well, turns into something else entirely. I’m not sure how else to explain it, but if you want to know more, spoilers will be spoiled below.

Some thoughts:

Patton Oswalt cameo! I am a massive fan and thought I knew his whole filmography and OMG how did I not know that he was in this!!

Ok, in spite of my skepticism this entire opening sequence about coincidence had me hooked IMMEDIATELY. Like, this is some damn good storytelling, if this were a novel, I would not be able to put it down - that pull, that’s what it feels like.

Am I the only person whose encyclopedic memory of character actors/roles gets distracted when they see someone from something that is wildly disparate compared to the role you’re currently watching? For example, I had to pause the movie and confirm via IMDB that I did just see Professor Sprout from HP scream “Shut the fuck up!” at her husband while brandishing a shotgun.

Would people really recognize a grown ass man from being a successful child game show contestant? I’ll tell you the answer, no they wouldn’t, because no one realizes that Peter Billingsley (aka Ralphie from A Christmas Story) is the head of the elf production line in Elf.

I knew this was a stacked cast, but holy SHIT this is a stacked cast. If I had $1 for every fantastic character actor I recognize in this, I would have at least $37, and these are people in the film who have maybe 2-3 lines each. It’s a deep bench is what I’m saying.

This makes me miss Phillip Seymour Hoffman so, so very much.

Watching PSH care for and be so compassionate and gentle with his hospice patient, Earl (Jason Robards),makes my heart ache terribly. All of the people who have been unable to perform this kindness, this type of compassionate care for their closest loved ones as they lie dying in isolation of Covid...it’s overwhelming.

OMG I’m counting 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Very Good Dogs in the old man’s house!

I know Scientology is evil and he’s undeniably a complicated and morally grey person. I know all that. But goddamn I just love watching Tom Cruise COMMIT. Particularly when he commits to just absolute fucking sleazebag slimeballs. And boy oh boy is Frank Mackey an absolute fucking sleazebag slimeball.

Related - I know Frank looks like Tom Cruise, so he could get people to sleep with him no matter what, but I honestly feel like as a human being, this flesh suit is WAY more attractive balding and fat in Tropic Thunder than he is in this shiny brown shirt/leather vest/long hair combo.

I’m getting an uncomfortable vibe about these black characters being written by an artsy white dude, because I don’t know any young black kids who want to hang around with cops and offer up information about who committed a murder in their building. In fact, the way all of the black characters are treated in this film - as liars, criminals, the disingenuous “main stream media,” and thieves - feels rooted in some racist ass bullshit. We see a lot of nuance in our white characters, but even in a film that has, shockingly, more than one key black role, we don’t get that spectrum or nuance.

There is nothing I would love more than to learn that Frank Mackey is 1) gay 2) impotent or 3) both. He’s so disgustingly over-the-top misogynistic, it honestly feels like it should all be a complete act.

I confess I am on the edge of my seat trying to figure out how all these narrative threads tie together. It’s compelling as hell, even though half the time I don’t know why these people are having these long, meandering conversations. The pacing feels so deliberate, like a puzzle coming together. There’s real craftsmanship in how every scene is plotted to feel connected rather than manic or disjointed.

This pharmacist is being unprofessional as hell. Judgy McJudgerson, mind your fucking business, Julianne Moore’s father is dying! [ETA: ope, that’s embarrassing, Earl is actually her husband.]

NO THE DOG IS EATING THE PILLS OH NO VERY CONCERNED ABOUT THE DOG.

I think I knew this, but this soundtrack is fantastic. All Aimee Mann and Supertramp, and Jon Brion’s score is this thrumming, anxious thing full of strings that underscore all these nervous conversations, and then it shifts into these low, mournful horns when things start to take a turn and everyone is reaching their lowest points.

I love this interviewer (April Grace) who is taking Frank (Tom Cruise) to task. I think it’s particularly noteworthy that she is a black woman, because the kind of misogyny Frank peddles is rooted in white supremacy.

Stanley (Jeremy Blackman) is breaking my goddamn heart here. I think he and Phil (PSH) are my favorite characters.

Jim (John C Reilly) is the perfect example of how even a cop with the best intentions, with absolute kindness and love is in heart, is abusing his power and sexually harassing a woman he encountered in the line of duty, who is eager to appease him because she doesn’t want to be charged with a crime. This movie reads a LOT differently than it did in 1999.

I normally really love Julianne Moore, but she is a screeching mess in this. I can’t stop staring at her mouth and all the contortions it makes as she delivers every line in hysterics. She’s one of the few weak spots for me here.

Listening to Frank go on his whole diatribe about what society does to little boys to break them and victimize them HAS to be the source of where Keith Raniere got at least half of his NXIVM bullshit. Like, some of these points are word-for-word.

Also if Frank makes as much money as he seems to, there’s no way he would drive a shitty Saturn sedan.

It feels like the common thread of this movie is everyone is terrible and cheats on their spouses, and you should come clean when you get cancer so you can die peacefully. Weird moral, but ok.

If Jim is a cop, how does he not see that this woman he’s interested in (Melora Walters) is coked out of her mind?

Y’know for being a quiz kid, Donnie (William H. Macy) sure is kinda stupid.

I confess I’m not taking many notes throughout this because I’m just kind of sitting breathlessly still watching all these conversations unfold because I am on the edge of my fucking seat to find out how all this is gonna come together.

Secret MVP of this movie is the mom from A Christmas Story (Melinda Dillon) who is giving the performance of her goddamn life as Jimmy Gator’s wife.

Did I Cry? On the surface it appears ridiculous, but when Tom Cruise is having his breakdown at his dying father’s bedside, I admit, that really got me. If you’ve ever been faced with that kind of hysterical, I-can’t-believe-this-is-happening, it feels like the whole world is ending kind of shock and hurt and anger, that’s what the crying looks like.

Are those......frogs?? That landed on Jim’s car? It’s raining fucking frogs???? OK for those of you sensitive to frog harm, this movie is going to take a real hard left turn for you, because I swear that came out of NOWHERE.

Um.

What.

Pray tell.

The fuck.

The climax of this movie - is when literal frogs rain from the sky.

And we finally got resolution about the dog, and the dog DID die, and I’m pissed about it. It’s offscreen but still.

I'm sorry - I know I’m fixating. But how is it possible that I knew about all the characters performing a sing-along to Aimee Mann’s (excellent) song “Wise Up” but I did NOT know that the climax of the film involves literally thousands of frogs falling to their death from the sky? How is that something that escapes entry into the cultural zeitgeist? I’m with it, you guys. I have been Very Online for over a decade, and before that, I read a lot of Entertainment Weekly, and like it just seems that this is something that pop culture really should have told me.

I think the funniest moment of this movie might be the credits in which I discovered that not only is Luis Guzman playing a man named Luis, he’s actually playing himself. I don’t know why, but I can’t stop laughing about it. That was a 189-minute setup to one dumb punchline.

I think I loved this movie but I don’t quite know. The frog thing really threw me. What I’m taking away from it is that even when it doesn’t feel like it or seem like it, we are all connected to each other, always, in ways we can’t see or know. As Wife astutely pointed out, it’s reminiscent of the pandemic - we’re all in the same storm, but we each have our own boats and our own experiences within that storm. And it’s kind of nice to remember that right now, that connection still exists even when it feels so far away. Just not if you’re a frog I guess, cause they really got the short end of the stick here.

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

[croissantbae]

Best of the Decade

This has been the most nonchalant 12/31 of my life.  Jimmy, Jason and I finished Bridesmaids (Jimmy fell asleep) and when it was over Jason asked “... should we go somewhere? should we do something” and I had no idea what he was talking about.  It took me a second to realize it was NYE.  Instead, I asked if we could each take some time to reflect on the decade.  Peloton (my lord and savior) has been having “Best of the Decade” rides and a lot of the instructors have been talking about how much they’ve grown over the decade and it’s inspired me to reflect not just on this year but everything since 2010.  I thought about one major event per year in the past decade:

2010:  Got Into and Started Law School

2011:  Spent My First Summer in New York (Getting Paid$$$$)

2012:  Moved to San Francisco (from Berkeley)

2013:  Graduated From Law School.  Moved to New York

2014:  Jason and I Officially Got Together

2015:  Jason and I Got Engaged and I Moved Back to LA

2016:  Jason and I Fought A Lot [this isn’t a major event but its all I can remember from this year]

2017:  Jason and I Got Married

2018:  Got Pregnant

2019:  Naya Was Born

Looking at the trajectory of the above, my life shifts from focusing on school/career, to relationship, to baby (which is a natural progression for many people’s lives I think).  I can’t believe that I’ve been in the legal world for a decade now.  I never wanted to be a lawyer and here I am 10 years later still in it. I made a $50 bet with one of my coworkers that I would never make partner  and somehow, by a loophole, I lost the bet. A lot of people talk about how 2020 is going to be their year (”gonna see clear in 2020″) but I hope 2020 is going to be my worst year.  I say that because I am planning on throwing myself into my work so I can get my bonus.  Then I want out.  I’ve said this literally every year since my second year and I could see myself getting stuck (the mostly likely candidate for keeping me in is getting enticed by another maternity leave) but my true and genuine hope is that after one horrendous year I will be free.  Free to enter into a boring, mediocre job that pays just ok (acc to big law’s standards).  Watching Marvelous Mrs. Maisel I feel small smokes of desire stoking in me, hoping to enjoy my job, to love what I do (and to look marvelous doing it) but I don’t want to go down that road. My last decade was spent languishing over my career - just really grappling with it. I’m over it now. I want this next decade to be about more than that.  As noted above, my life transitions into Naya. In this next decade of life I will be turning 40 (assuming I get to live that long).  I don’t want to keep wasting so much of my brain space on my job.  [Note: I really admire Christine Paik for taking the brave step to quit big law and taking this time to figure out her next steps but as she’s noted this year is for a “character change”, not just career. I just wanted to note this because I don’t want to imply that I don’t think it’s important to figure out what job or career one may want to have but (1) it was such a source of stress for me that I can’t and don’t want to do it anymore and (2) I think a whole character change is so much of a better way to think about it. Career is only one aspect of who we are. It’s not always about what we do.]

I used to care a lot about experiencing new things.  Everything had to be new.  If I went to a restaurant, I only ordered something I hadn’t tried before.  I didn’t even like going to the same restaurant.  I didn’t like re-watching movies, or shows.  To me, if it wasn’t new it seemed like a waste of time (I could not understand people who watched re-runs of Friends... ie. Hera).  There was so much to see and experience.  But over time, I realized there really is nothing new under the sun (perhaps a plague of globalization).  The jig was up.  But parenthood has brought back true newness in my life.  In pregnancy, everything was new. I have one million videos of Naya kicking in my stomach because it was so fascinating.  I pored over articles and posts about child rearing and a whole new world of information was exposed to me. Giving birth was one hell of a new experience.  Breastfeeding was new.  Bathing a child was new.  You get the picture.  I got to experience new things in taking care of her but I also got to see the world in a new way (again) by looking at things from her perspective.  The other day, we went to the doctor’s office and when Naya was getting weighed, instead of laying her down on the scale, I sat her upright and she teetered a little bit, struggling to balance.  I could see the fear in her eyes.  She cried out, alarmed, unsure of what her body was doing.  And I got to feel, through her expression, what it feels like to acknowledge being alone, sitting on your own, for the first time (she’s sat up on her own before, but this appeared to be the first time she knew what she was doing).  Another day Jason was using a power drill to put a curtain up and when I took her closer to see what her dad was doing she screamed at the noise.  She seemed scared by it but also like she was yelling at it to stop.  She has no idea what the noise is from, she just knows that its loud and scary.  She has to learn everything about everything from scratch and witnessing that has been a wonderfully new experience for me.  Naya’s name actually means “new” in Hebrew. She is our firstborn and through her there will only be firsts - first time experiencing terrible twos, first time raising a teenager, first time sending a kid to college, etc.  And that’s how I want the decade to go.  But this first year, 2020, is going to be a horrible one.  It’s not a great way to kick off a decade but it’s worth it, because of what I hope will come afterward.  

This maternity leave has truly been the best vacation of my life.  I don’t know if its amnesia but I don’t think I’ve felt this good about a break EVER.  I think that’s the benefit of big law.  It makes you feel so down sometimes that the good times feel EXTREMELY good in comparison.  I love living with my mom.  A few weeks ago I was upstairs  on my computer and Jason was away in San Diego. I thought my mom had long fallen asleep but she came out and started cooking, eating leftovers while it was still heating on the stove.  She got hungry and needed a snack so I joined her and we just stood there, next to the stove, talking while eating bomb ass leftover Korean food.  I’ve loved seeing her laugh hysterically at the tiny little things Naya does. She calls Naya beautiful and princess and it always surprises me because my mom is just not a tender person like that.  She usually calls babies ugly.  I’m so happy that my brother is back from New York.  I’ve always had this image of my relationship with Jimmy.  That we were so close but in reality we’ve drifted since I’ve been in LA and he was in NY.  I mean we’re siblings so we’ll always be close but now we can be a real family again in our adult lives.  I always remember something my cousin posted about her college friends.  She said that they had become “update friends” where you talk to each other just to update each other on the latest happenings but that she missed living together, doing nothing together, and just existing together.  That’s what I look forward to with my brother.  Not having to update each other on anything but just being around each other, raising our kids together, etc.  

Now, on to Jason (I have to say nice things about him because he’s going to read this post.  Jk.  But he is going to read it).  Other than Naya, marrying Jason has been the best thing to happen to me (and I mean it) from the past decade.  I’ve said this before but he’s a better person than I realized when we were friends and when we were dating.  I can’t believe how lucky I am that it worked out that way. There are so many losers out there, both in hiding and in the open, but I found a guy that was hiding how great he was!  He just took his good heart and wrapped it up in a soft lanky body with an awkward personality (jk Jason you’re not awkward anymore).  He’s been such an amazing dad and partner. I’m curious to see how he’ll change in the next decade -- will he bald (its not just me turning 40...)?  will he get fat?  will he become a director at Kaiser?  how will he father our kids once they can talk and they actually have personalities?  will he do social work? One thing I do hope, however, is that he’ll always be a romantic and we’ll always be happily married.  We’re still kind of newlyweds.  We’ve only been married for 2.75 years so we’re still young in our marriage but I want us to continue to have our pillow talks, to explore farmers markets and restaurants and new places together (with or without kids).  I hope we can retire like we’re always dreaming of.  I hope we can build a garden and cook using the fresh veggies and herbs we grow from it.  I hope we make it to the end together... somehow with neither of us having to die before the other.  

And now onwards to the future.  Resolutions!  I don’t have many this year.  I pretty much failed all my resolutions from last year (walk 10k steps a day, finish a first draft of my book, finish my children’s book -- all failed).  But here are the few I’d like to attempt this year:

1.  Peloton:  Ride 2-3x a week.  Jess King and Cody Rigsby both talked about how they made a change in their lives by deciding to say “yes” to new opps.  I want to have a bit of that mentality this upcoming year given the fact that I’ll be making a transition shortly afterwards.  Good to keep my heart open to new opps (even if its not the one that I think I want).  I know this is going to sound like I’ve seriously drunk the Kool-Aid but at this point I don’t even ride the Peloton to lose weight.  It’s because I physically and mentally feel better after riding. Also I (apparently) get life lessons too! I just got my century shirt (HEHE).  

2.  Writing:  write at least 10 minutes a day.  That way I will have written 1 hour a week. I’m sure I’ll fail on some days but “shoot for the moon and at least you’ll land amongst the stars” (Jason thought the saying was the opposite  (shoot for the stars...) because stars are farther away than the moon).  

3.  Money:  Save 60% (collectively).  I dream of buying a gorgeous 3,000 sq foot home either in Glendale or Los Feliz but realistically we can’t make that happen right now and I want to squirrel away as much money as we can while we can. For Naya’s future, for our future.  I need to stop buying stupid useless stuff from Amazon (and I hate myself every time I do because I know Bezos/Amazon is so evil).  My mom is so excessive, it really is a problem -- we’re constantly throwing away food because its gone to waste.  I don’t want to be like that.  I don’t want Naya to think its okay to be so excessive either. 

4.  Church: I would like to try going to church again.  My goal is to check out a few churches. We don’t have to commit to any, I just want to see a few. It’s been so long since I’ve been to a service I don’t know what it’s like anymore. 

[saltybeardkitty]

The Other Boy

Summary: Jughead is now homeless thanks to his rotten day (this episode made me feel the feels guys) but Betty is here to save the day.

Notes: This is a terrible attempt at Fluff guys sorry STORY:

It is raining, a big storm. The first storm since Jason Blossom’s death. It puts the whole town on edge, there is a murderer on the loose and sheriff Keller just got robbed.

A loud knock rings out through my empty house. My parents are out at the office. I’m used to it. Slowly closing my laptop I get up and slouch down stairs. The storm outside has gotten worse. I pull the door open slowly and only a little bit to see a tall boy soaked through to the bone, his beanie clinging to the dark hair plastered to his face. He has a large backpack hanging off one shoulder.

“Jughead?” I ask, surprise evident in my tone.

“Who else?” He smirks, shifting his bag on his shoulder. “As much as I’d like to continue this conversation outside in the rain, it’s kinda cold.”

“Oh yeah, of course.” I move aside and let him in.

He enters my house, dumping his bag on the floor and immediately going to my kitchen. I follow him into my kitchen and chuckle to find the boy already beginning to make waffles.

We used to do this all the time as kids, he’d come to keep me company when my parents were at work. He’d make us waffles and we’d watch movies until I fell asleep. But he hasn’t been round in a while hence why I was surprised to see him at my door.

“What are you laughing at?” He asks balancing a crazy amount of ingredients and utensils in his arms.

“Just you Jughead.” I smile but it quickly drops to a frown.

“Hey, what’s up?” The tall boy asks as he places the ingredients down on the counter noticing my frown.

“Nothing.” I try but all I get is a skeptical raised eyebrow. “I mean… It’s just I’ve… We haven’t done this in a while and I missed it- this. You. I miss you.”

“I miss you too.” He whispers pulling me into a hug.

“So,” I say after the hug ends. “I heard they closed the Drive In. I’m sorry Juggie I know you were staying there. Hey if you need a place to stay…” I trail off at his sad expression.

“It’s okay. Um, my dad didn’t offer me a place to stay and I’m not on good terms with Archie, I was just gonna camp out in the park…” His voice is quiet and soft and it’s on the verge of sounding broken and vulnerable.

“Hey no. No way Jughead Jones the Third is living in the park. If my mother saw you she’d probably find a way to kick you out of school. You’ll stay here. No ifs buts or maybes.” I grin at him hoping this will cheer him up.

“If you’re sure…” He seems unsure because of my stuck up mother so I grab his hand and pull him out of my kitchen.

I pull him into the hall and grab his bag then pull him up the stairs. Pushing Jughead into my bedroom and onto my bed I catch him muttering:

“Wow, I’ve never been forcefully pushed on a bed before though I imagined it would be under different circumstances.”

I struggle to hide my laugh and try to busy myself by sorting through his bag. I begin to tidy his clothes away while he snuggles into my bed.

“Hey, Jug you’re still soaked buddy.” I laugh as he groans.

“Come on.” I pull him up. “You’ll catch a cold.” I am about to turn to leave when be pulls his shirt off.

I’ve seen the tall boy shirtless before but only when we were younger.

Man this boy’s clothes hide a lot. He is er… Well he’s very attractive. I feel myself turning very red. I quickly turn away.

“I’ll be downstairs if you need me Jug.” I call as I leave the room awkwardly.

He mutters something in reply that I don’t catch as I leave the room.

I hop down the stairs two are a time and head into the kitchen to continue making the waffles. Jughead joins me about five minutes later (once my blush had gone down, luckily) no longer wearing his jeans and denim jacket but instead wearing baggy sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt. His signature beanie is still on his head.

“Sup, Jugs?” I grin.

“Sup, Betts?” He grins back as he grabs a plate of waffles.

“Y'know, your hair will dry a lot quicker without the hat.”

“What? If I take my hat off I risk you finding my bald spot.” He fake gasps.

“Ha. Ha.” I reply dryly.

I reach up while he is distracted eating waffles and pull his beanie off his head.

“Hey!” He cries and I run away with his hat.

For one sweet moment it was as if we were children again. I always used to steal his hat when we were little. I run upstairs with his hat and he’s hot on my tail. I dive into my room, but I trip on the way falling on my floor, landing on my butt. Jughead follows me into my room, he also trips but luckily I’m there to break his fall. He gracefully (not) lands on my stomach.

“Oof.” He’s quite heavy what with all the those waffles.

“Ouch.” He chuckles, he’s still on my stomach.

“Oh yeah like you can say ouch, you haven’t got a 6ft boy sat on your stomach Juggie.” I complain.

“Are you calling me fat?!” He asks sarcastically, wriggling around as if to prove his point.

“Jug!” I cry. “Stop! Juggie!” I laugh because he has started tickling my very ticklish stomach.

“I can’t hear you!” He laughs, his beanie lies forgotten beside us. All the awkwardness I was feeling earlier dissolves into the air.

I manage to push him off of me and he rolls onto the floor next to me. We are both lying on our backs very close to eachother laughing our heads off. We laugh for a good few minutes until the raven haired boy’s laughter stops. I stop laughing and turn my head to see him already staring at me.

“Thanks.” He’s says seriously.

“For what?” I ask.

“For distracting me from my shitty day Betts. For letting me stay here even though your mother will kill you if she finds out. For making me laugh.” He mumbles.

“Oh Juggie I’m sorry your day has been shitty.” He laughs when I swear. “And as for my mum she’s always at work right now- she’s barely home.” He looks slightly relieved by this. “And I’m always here to make you laugh Jugs.” I grin at the boy next to me.

He smiles at me and for a second I get caught up in how beautiful he looks-not hot or handsome but beautiful. I can feel myself leaning closer to him and I’m sure he is leaning in too. I quickly pull away before things get awkward and I end up ruining this friendship. He pulls away too and coughs awkwardly.

“Err boy am I tired.” I laugh nervously. “Bed?” I ask as we both stand up.

“Err… Yeah sure. Where should I sleep?” he asks scratching the back of his neck adorably.

“Oh, er, I don’t have a spare bed. And I can’t let you take the sofa incase my parents come back. So would you be alright sharing my bed?” I ask feeling nervous for some reason.

“I can just sleep on the floor. I don’t want to be an inconvenience and I’m used to sleeping on the floor.” He says and the way he says it so nonchalantly breaks my heart.

“Nope.” I reply. “I care about you Jughead and I’m not letting you sleep on the floor you’ll sleep in my bed with me, if I’m not too repulsive.” I add as a joke at the end.

“You’re not repulsive Betts, you’re sweet and kind and apparently too stubborn to let your friend sleep on the floor.” He jokes back.

“I am all of those things, now come on let’s go to bed.” I smile at him and he smiles back. Luckily I am already in pyjamas which spares us the awkwardness of getting changed.

I climb into bed an wait for Jughead to follow. He looms awkwardly for a second before joining me. We both lie there awkwardly for a few minutes until I start to drift off. I roll over before I fall asleep and I feel the taller boy shift away but I’m too sleepy to properly notice.

***

We wake up to my alarm. It’s a Saturday but mother checks on me every morning at eight so I like to be awake half an hour earlier. This just happens to work in our favour today because it means I can hide Jughead before my mother finds him.

When we wake up I find myself pressed against Jughead’s chest with his arms wrapped around me. It’s a shame we have to get up because I could happily spend all morning cuddling with Jughead. The alarm doesn’t appear to wake the tall boy. I lean up and try to escape his arms. I shake him awake gently until he groans and brings his arm up to rub at his eyes.

“Betty?” He asks, his voice gorgeously laced with sleep. I pull myself away from his warm body and stretch.

“Sorry to wake you Juggie but my mom will be in to check on me soon before she goes to work.” I explain.

“Okay.” He grumbles slowly sitting up and yawning. He slowly stands up and stretches.

“Where should I hide?” He asks, his voice still deep with sleep.

“Err my closet should be a good hiding place. I’m sorry you have to hide.” “Its okay.” He says. We hear footsteps coming towards my door.

“Quick!” I say pushing him into my closet just as my mom, Alice Cooper enters.

“Oh, you’re awake.” She says dryly.

“Yes I am.” She begins her daily routine of nosing around my room. Once she’s done looking around and she heads back to the door and I think I’m in the clear. She turns around and looks at me. Her eyes drift around my room until she catches something.

“Betty, what is that?” She spits out pointing at none other than Jughead’s jacket on my chair.

“Mom, you know it was raining last night- with the storm. And you know Jughead is my friend. He leant me his jacket so I wouldn’t get wet on the walk home.” I explain.

“Betty, you knows I don’t approve of you being friends with this boy. He’s dark and mysterious and gloomy. He’s going to ruin your entire image.” She complains.

“Mom! Jughead is the sweetest, kindest boy in this whole town and it doesn’t matter what he looks like! I’m sick of you telling me who I’m not allowed to have as my friends. I like Jughead so you’re just going to have to deal with him being my friend.” I snap at her.

“Well don’t come crying to me when he breaks you. And I don’t think you should trust anyone with a name like Jughead.” She mumbles loud enough for me to hear. “Oh and your father and I will be at work all day again.” She snaps and with that she leaves, slamming the door behind her.

I wait a few minutes until I hear the front door slam and her car start. I go to the closet and let Jughead out.

“Sorry you had to hide.” I say with a sheepish smile.

“It’s okay.” He smiles back. “So what’s the plan?” He asks.

“Well I’m still quite tired, wanna go back to bed for a bit?” I ask nervously biting my lip. “

Yeah, I approve of this plan.” He chuckles and we climb back in to bed.

This time instead of the awkwardness of lying awkwardly, we go straight to cuddling eachother. Jughead pulls me in close and wraps his arms around me.

“This isn’t weird is it?” He whispers. “I feel like people might think it’s weird.”

“I don’t think it’s weird so I won’t tell if you don’t.” I whisper back.

“Cool.” He replies. We quickly fall asleep in eachother’s arms.

***

We don’t wake up cuddling. We wake up a few hours later spooning, he’s the big spoon and he’s holding me protectively. I sit up slowly and accidentally wake up the taller boy up too.

“Morning.” He smiles.

“Morning!” I smile back.

He stretches and gets up before going to have a shower. I sit reading in my bed until he comes back. What I was not expecting was for him to come back in wearing nothing but a towel hanging low on his hips. I flush bright red and try to distract myself by reading but his treasure trail is too distracting.

“The bathroom’s all yours Betts.” He mutters. I stand up to go and use the bathroom but I make the mistake of trying to walk past him while looking down. I trip and just like a cliché I fall straight into his arms. Our faces are so close and without thinking I can feel myself leaning closer. He is leaning closer too.

“Betts.” He whispers staring into my eyes. “I think I’m going to kiss you.”

“Juggie.” I whisper back. “I think I want you to kiss me.”

He smiles and I lean in to kiss the smile off his lips. The kiss is slow and sweet. My hands tangle in Jughead’s black hair and his go to my waist. The kiss doesn’t last too long as we’re both a bit uncertain. We brake apart but remain in eachother’s arms.

“That was…” Jughead starts. “Betty.” He continues in a serious tone. “I thought you were still in love with Archie?”

“Well, to be honest Jugs, I think I just confused my feelings for Archie. You see I thought I was in love with him but another boy made me realise I love Archie but I’m not in love with him.” I explain.

“Oh.” He replies. “Wait, who’s the other boy?” He asks.

“Juggie, I’m stood in my pyjamas in your arms while you are wearing nothing but a towel. And we just kissed in my bedroom which I am letting you live in despite my crazy mother.” I explain to the clueless boy in front of me. “Who do you think the boy is?”

“It depends, is he devilishly handsome and the funniest guy you’ve ever met?” He asks jokingly.

“Yes and yes.” I seriously reply.

“Oh damn then he’s not me.” He chuckles sadly.

“Of course he’s you Juggie! Who else would I possibly fall for?”

“Tall, athletic boys.” He mumbles.

“I only have eyes for tall, dorky, sweet boys whose clothes actually hide a lot.” I chuckle.

“Oh.” He mutters.

“I like you Juggie. I think I’ve liked you for years it just took me a while to work out my feelings.”

“Oh.” He says again but then what I’m saying sinks in. “Oh, so uh, can I kiss you again?” He asks looking adorably nervous.

“Of course you can Jugs.” I smile and lean in to kiss him again.

As we kiss we forget about Jason Blossom’s murder. We forget that Jughead is technically homeless. We forget about Archie and Veronica and everyone else and all our worries and just think about what’s happening in the moment. We are happy together and right now that’s all that matters