#me: i'm not going to write prompts i have too many wips

[cuubism]

pls do make angst out of it

I need no impetus to make angst about Dream + clothing choices.

--

"Dream."

Dream did not mean to flinch. Perhaps one never meant to flinch. It was an involuntary reaction, one that he should have been above in this form. He should have absolute control over how he manifested.

Except Hob's hand had landed on the back of his neck as he tried to pull Dream from his distant musings. Dream should be above such physical sensations. But he was composed of all fears. All thoughts and memories. The snapping grip of a lion's jaws on the neck of a gazelle. The vulnerability of an unprotected back.

So many dreams, now, and in the still-recent aftermath of his escape, they swirled and spilled within him like floodwaters.

His flinch away broke Hob's touch halfway through grazing a hand along Dream's jaw as he came around the back of the armchair where Dream was sitting. "Did I startle you?"

"Yes," said Dream. He settled deeper into his chair, into his soft sweater, no coat in Hob's flat, not when he did not wish to leave. But he wished he could manifest a higher neckline without it being obvious. "Yes, I was lost in thought."

Hob cupped his chin and tilted his head up and kissed him, and Dream did not flinch.

--

Dream loved Hob very much. The feeling had caught him by the throat not long after their reunion, when Hob had met him again shortly after Dream had resolved the vortex. Hob had taken his hand and looked with worry at the gash still gracing his palm, courtesy of the Corinthian's betrayal.

Dream was made of incorporeal thoughts, not flesh, and Hob had known this by then and still asked, "Can I bandage it for you?"

Dream had acquiesced more out of shock than need. Hob had held his hand, and wrapped it with experienced movements. He couldn't have known that the very act of bandaging sealed the cut in Dream's skin. Such was the power of dreams.

Dream fell quick and perilously with his hand pressed between Hob's, with Hob's kind eyes upon him.

He loved Hob with the pain of a knife stuck through his hand. He loved Hob and he knew that love was a bared throat. And he would bare it. For he wanted love. And he was not supposed to flinch.

--

He loved Hob, sitting in the safety of Hob's bed. Bare legs tangled up together, scratchy hair and strong muscle, and still the high-necked long-sleeved shirt Dream had taken to wearing. Hob kissing under his jaw, and slipping gentle hands under his shirt to brace his hips. The resonant dreams were loud--the exploration of youth and a first time together, the familiar bodies of a long-awaited reunion, the peace of an entangled old age--and for a while these layered memories distracted him from the fact that Hob still hadn't stripped his shirt off.

Perhaps. Hob saw more than Dream thought he did.

"You see much," Dream said, voice just edging on rough, and Hob paused, pulling away to look at him. Tilted his head in question, and Dream took Hob's hand, laid it along the collar of his shirt, below the jut of his throat.

Hob kept his hand there, a loose half-collar of Dream's neck, and said, "You always flinch when I come up behind you."

Dream looked somewhere around Hob's jaw, avoiding his eyes, and so had to rely on Hob's voice to imagine his expression. And Hob's voice was very gentle indeed.

"Do you know," he started, taking Dream's cheek in his other hand, "once upon a time--well, not so long ago, really, considering--I would jump at every loud noise? War gets in your head like that."

Dream knew of this, from the nightmares that were within him. He hurt to think of Hob like that. He laid a hand on Hob's thigh, though he was unsure if he was attempting to comfort Hob or merely grounding himself. "But no longer?"

"Not so much. It doesn't have to last forever." He stroked his thumb back and forth over Dream's cheek. "Helps that it's pretty rare for a loud noise going off in London nowadays to be a gunshot."

"But not impossible."

"In my experience, vanishingly few things are impossible, love."

Dream's capture should have been impossible. He had thought himself invulnerable. He had not seen the summoning coming. Had not seen a century of imprisonment coming, or Corinthian's betrayal, or Desire's. They had crawled silently up his back. Sunk their teeth into his spinal cord hard enough to snap.

"Do you feel like I'm going to hurt you, when you can't see me coming?" Hob asked.

He had failed indeed, if Hob thought so. "I do not think you will harm me."

"But do you feel it?"

Dream went to deny it, then thought. Of the prickling feeling that crept up his neck when he had his back to a room. To a doorway. The cold air on his shoulders before he pulled on one of Hob's sweaters, used it as a shield. "I do not like. To feel exposed."

Hob ran a hand through his hair. Dragged down to the nape of his neck and held him there. Not a threat, but a brace; stay close to me. Dream followed the touch and tucked his face in against Hob's shoulder. "Don't, then. I'll cover you."

"With shield and sword," Dream murmured, and Hob hummed in agreement. His hand was warm on the back of Dream's neck. Always, Hob was banishing the cold.

"I do not," Dream repeated, for it felt imperative that Hob know this, "think that you will hurt me."

Hob kissed his hair. "I know."

--

Love was showing one's back. Dream shivered as Hob slid into place behind him, thighs bracketing Dream's hips. As he wrapped his arms around Dream's torso, bare chest to Dream's bare back. He was so warm. His breath ruffled Dream's hair. Hob's arms caged him where he might have wanted to run. He could have disappeared to the Dreaming. But didn't.

Hob kissed the base of his neck. Kissed the bump of each vertebra. The vulnerable spot under his ear. Splayed his hands over Dream's belly. Another soft place.

This form was made of soft places. Outside, Dream swept his coat around himself to shield them. Fabric made for weak protection, but the less he was seen, the better. Dreams suffered in daylight.

Here, the soft places felt Hob's touch the most. Dream did not want to be soft, was not meant to be. But he did want Hob's hands, and the kisses placed along his throat. Always a conundrum, with Hob.

Dream did not reconcile it now. Instead he turned his head, pressed his lips to Hob's over his shoulder. Took Hob's hand and put it in his hair, encouraged Hob to tangle his fingers and pull, so that Dream's throat was bared, his balance thrown, so Hob could kiss and bite up his neck and hold him there.

He trembled against Hob's lips. Shook in his grasp. Dream knew the nightmare of a rabbit caught in a fox's teeth, and the dream of a fox with blood on its lips. But he was no rabbit, and no fox either. He could decide for himself if he wanted Hob to touch him, to pull the collar down.

Hob's teeth grazed his pulse. Dream whimpered, the sound loud in the quiet bedroom, and Hob shushed him. Stroked a hand along his throat. Dream loved him, and that he held him, and that he let Dream live on this boundary of discomfort so he might decide which way he wanted to fall, pain or pleasure. Love was risk-taking.

Dream leaned into Hob's palm, felt the pressure on his throat. His back to Hob's chest. Their bodies in alignment. Teeth to spine. Hob's body as a shield.

"How are you doing?" Hob whispered. His lips brushed Dream's ear, hair tickled his temple.

Dream let his limbs go loose that Hob might catch him. Love was a net.

"Good," he sighed, and tipped his head back.

[generalsmemories]

HELLOO THEREE!! i love how dedicated you to jing yuan!! Can i have req for 1k event???

Fluff sentences "8" + fluff scenarios "4"!!

Thank you so much!!

I keep looking forward to your JY work!!

Bedrest

✧ jing yuan x gn!reader

✧ prompts: Not letting the sick one move an inch + playing with their hair until they fall asleep & "You're going to get sick if you keep coddling me." "And you're just going to get worse if I don't" || 1k event also requested by @/thetwinkims

✧ content: fluff, established relationship, i swear it's just fluff like for once there's no hidden angst over here.

✧ a/n: hello fellow jing yuan lovers, i'm still alive. this was once again written at 1 AM and not edited at all so if there's any writing mistakes, no there isn't. the initial plan was to keep this one in the drafts while I also write other WIPS to feel productive but i have honestly starved ya'll for months at this point i'm so sorry i'm back with milk.

have soft jing yuan just giggling, is he delirious, sleepy or just in love? we don't know.

If you could describe Jing Yuan in one word other than mischievous, it would be stubborn. The General of the Xianzhou Luofu is too stubborn for his own good, you don't know if this stubbornness of his is rooted in his desire to protect Luofu from danger, or from the fact that he just dislikes when people wish for him to do something in particular.

In any case, his stubborn and mischievous nature could very well be linked to that of a feline - which he himself has been told that he share similar traits of, despite being fully human.

You just wished that he would be less stubborn when it also came to his health.

"Jing Yuan, how many times have I told you to just lay down…!" you say whilst gritting your teeth, using almost every ounce of your strength to push the general back down on the bed. Jing Yuan merely lets out a quiet chuckle, still trying "playfully" wrangling with you. "I'm injured, not sick, dear." he says, to which you merely roll your eyes in exhaustion.

Jing Yuan truly loves it when you finally forego your usual gentle demeanour to a more brazen one. It's usually a side of you that only he can see, more so because he's the only one who can annoy you enough to make you realize that gentle words and probing won't get you anywhere.

"I don't think someone with a temperature of 40 degrees is only injured, darling. Now can you please just lay down before you reopen your wounds?" you plead once again, pressing the heels of your palms further down Jing Yuan's broad shoulder which shook in quiet laughter at your desperate struggle.

"I'm wide awake after having taken numerous naps because per your request though?" he informs, finally settling back down on the bed which finally allows you to lean back to sit on the edge of the bed again. "Last time you insisted that you were fine, I had to get Mimi to help haul you up the stairs because you could barely move." you remind him with a huff, Jing Yuan turning over on his side to face you, his already messy bangs sweeping over to the side to almost cover his right eye.

He didn't say anything, his arm was still laid behind his head to act as another form of cushion while the other rested lazily over the bedsheets. You could however see the golden eyes peering deeply into your own between the grey strands. A silent request that he didn't dare utter to you.

Jing Yuan rarely requested things from you after all.

With a sigh, you turn your body over and hoist your knees over the bed. Nudging Jing Yuan's arm aside with your hands, "Move them." you quietly demand, the same golden eyes that were peering at you blinking in slight confusion. "What for?" he questions softly while moving his arm upwards.

You don't reply, merely raising the thin blanket up to lay down beside Jing Yuan - making sure that you were hoisted a bit higher up than he was. You snake one arm around Jing Yuan's neck, a silent request to make him scoot closer to you.

When he's close enough, you hook your chin over his head while pressing his face towards your chest, the other arm wrapping around his hair. "There we go."

A few beats of silence passes by, you can feel Jing Yuan take in a few more breaths than normal whilst his eyelashes brush against the material of your shirt, the material thin enough to feel every movement of his face that's pressed against the upper part of your torso.

And then he's shaking in another quiet chuckle, "You're going to get sick if you keep coddling me at this point, darling." he says, and yet the arms that snake around your waist and the way he snuggles deeper into your chest indicates that he won't let you go now that he got you within his grasp.

He can tell that you're rolling your eyes yet again. You decide to answer his jab with a small peck on top of his head, mostly focusing your attention to the locks of hair in between your fingers, curling a particular strand around your finger whilst your other thumb is busy rubbing soothing circles at his hipbone. "And you're just going to get worse if I don't."

The general merely huffs out a laugh, replying to the peck on his head with kiss against your shirt. "You spoil me way too much." is the last thing he whispers, before he quickly falls into a deep slumber.

Because you both know that Jing Yuan truly never sleeps unless you're near him.

[alatushours]

☆ LOVE POTION, various — he doesn’t know much about love, but he’ll try his best for you.

contents. featuring xiao, dan heng, and roronoa zoro. gender neutral reader, fluff. xiao + zoro is canon au, dan heng’s is modern! your first date with each of the boys ♡ word count. 537

notes. writing the prompt “love potion” for my own event despite it having been closed for a month LMAO i just need an excuse to write something… anyways uh pls pretend i’m not writing xiao when i said i wouldn’t in a while 🫣 i have a wip for tighnari otw i promise !!!

xiao has never been interested in mortal celebrations. but after meeting you, he can’t help but want to learn more about them. “would you… want to come to the lantern rite with me?”

you were pleasantly surprised when he asked; glad to see that the yaksha was finally coming out of his shell. you laughed, took his hand (which prompted a blushing mess out of him), and led him down to the harbor, where the festivities were already starting.

figuring he still wasn’t too comfortable being around large crowds of mortals, you took him to a secluded spot on a hill by the pavilion, close enough so that you could still see the lanterns that lit up the sky.

“they’re beautiful, aren’t they?” you ask him, following his eyes as he stared at tiny glowing dots fading in the night. xiao nods slowly, seemingly mesmerized by the sight. you smile softly, leaning your head on his shoulder as the two of you watch the fireworks show that followed.

dan heng, being a bit of a bookworm, was a little… socially awkward, to say the least. luckily, you found his quirks entertaining. “there’s a new bookstore that opened across the street… would you be interested?”

so one tuesday afternoon, you meet him by the park, where he stood with a bouquet of flowers in his hands. you giggle when he awkwardly offers them to you. “of course, why else would you have bought them for?”

making you way to the bookstore, dan heng watches as you stroll down the aisles, picking out some you wanted. he felt his heart swell as he spies his favorite novel in your hand. “i didn’t know you liked that book too…”

the two of you end up spending the rest of the afternoon in the cafe next door, chatting about your favorite books over coffee. he smiles, maybe being a geek isn’t a such bad thing after all.

zoro never quite wanted to leave the sunny when the crew docked on a new island; he preferred to stay behind and take a nap, or train. but you always encouraged him to come along, and he finally decided to go along with it. “i’m gonna go explore… if ‘ya wanna come with.”

there happened to be a small crafts market in the town nearby, so you and zoro (mostly just you) went admiring the handicrafts the stalls had on display. "aww, how lovely!" you admire a little clockwork deer that reminded you a bit of chopper.

then you realized you had some business to attend to in town, so you left zoro behind for a few minutes, saying, "don't you dare get lost while i'm gone!" he stands there awkwardly, before glancing back at the crafts stall. while i'm here...

...and then of course you happen to accidentally encounter the marines, causing you to have to run back to the ship with zoro in tow. when you're finally safe in the crow's nest of the sunny, however... he presented you with the mechanical deer toy from earlier, to your joy. "i don't have that many berries but.. i know you wanted it, so i guess i'll just have to pay nami back later."

end notes. i thought i would write a lot for xiao but i ended up writing more for zoro lmao he’s been taking up all of my brain recently but i hope you enjoyed <3

© alatushours 2024. please do not copy, modify, or translate my work in any way, nor upload to any other platforms. in the meantime, if you enjoyed, please like, reblog, and consider leaving a follow! it helps a lot ♡

[inexplicifics]

Hiya! I was wondering if you’d been having any luck making the Cats Among Wolves bunnies cooperate lately? If not, that’s cool. Plot bunnies are not the most cooperative creatures, but I figured I’d ask. I was also curious about what the writing process usually looks like for you if you were willing to explain it a bit. Do you tend to jump around between projects just following the inspiration, or do you write out at least a whole scene or chapter before letting yourself move around? How many times do you usually send a fic to Rose for betaing before you feel ready to release it? I always find different people’s processes so interesting.

So Cats Among Wolves is mostly not cooperating at the moment - I am weirdly low on Brain and the bunnies are not doing long-form very well just now. But here's a snippet from the Cedric & Axel fic:

Fuck, this is good, Cedric opines, sipping greedily at the soup Gaetan is holding for him. “The old Wolf knows his way around a kitchen,” Gaetan agrees, nodding. “I think I gained most of a stone the first winter I spent here.” “You needed it,” Eskel puts in. “All you Cats are too damn scrawny.” “Wolves are just absurdly big,” Gaetan sniffs. “And what are Vipers, then?” Eskel - teases. And Gaetan is grinning. Axel has never seen Gaetan so relaxed around an alpha before. Not even Cedric. But there’s not even a hint of tension in his littlest brother. He’s utterly unafraid. “Vipers are mostly perfectly normal sizes, Letho’s just special,” Gaetan says cheerfully. Letho smirks.

As to my writing process - oh gods, it's like a pogo stick. I often have eight or ten docs open, and I create a new WIP at least three times a week. (I am very easy to plotbunny. And I am surrounded by enablers.) I write until I get stuck and then I go to something else. Sometimes, if something really grabs me, I can get a whole longfic out in a week; sometimes I have to come back to it again and again until it clicks. My personal feeling is that as long as words are ending up in a row, it's all good.

I don't outline. Outlines kill fic for me. Once I've written down what's going to happen, why bother writing it again? Even for something like MBtT, I had the very loosest possible sketch of the plot and the desired relationships. I also can't estimate how long a fic is going to be to save my life. I thought MBtT was going to be 50K. I have to very deliberately keep from putting plot into things like prompt fills and flash fics, because once I've added plot, that fic isn't getting done in less than 10K.

I usually send the fic to Rose when it's completely done, and then do a pass through it once she's left comments, fixing all the plot holes she finds. Then she checks my work and I put it in the posting queue.

One thing I have found that helps me is that I color-code my docs. Blue is in progress, purple is ready for beta, and green is ready to be posted. It makes it easier for me to track things visually.

The other thing that really helps is cheer-readers. Because I try to only post finished fics, sometimes I'll start wondering if what I'm writing is really any good. Rose and Twist and Ray have all been wonderful at Encouraging me enthusiastically to keep going, and suggesting directions when I get stuck. Cheer-readers are great and I encourage writers to find them if they can.

Hope that was interesting!

[thursdayinspace]

Let it Fly

fic: light as clouds

the last of the fic prompts! I have to admit, I got a bit creative with this one. And I wanted to hold it back, because as it turns out, this fits perfectly into a long fic I'm writing, so let's just call this "WIP Wednesday" or a fic teaser or "Thursday feels bad about holding back a prompt fill." I will not put it on AO3 yet because there will be a lot more. The fic that this will be a part of currently has the working title "one word, nine letters" and is a post-cancer fic in which they are in an established relationship. this is part of one chapter probably close to the beginning.

tagging @today-in-fic

--

“Just follow me,” she says, and takes his hand.

“Where are we going?” She’s leading him down a winding path at sunset on a cold late evening and as much as he trusts her, he wants to know that she has a reason.

“To the beach,” she says simply. “You’ll see.”

She has been working hard on getting better, on regaining her strength, but he still worries: that she’s pushing herself too hard, that it’s too much for her, that her eyes will look tired again and her legs won’t be able to carry her. He knows she doesn’t want to hear that. She just wants to forget.

Forgetting is the one thing he can’t do.

The light is sunset-soft under a wide expanse of gray-blue sky. It’s beautiful out here, quiet except for the rushing of the waves and the heavy wind, the crisp sea air erasing lingering traces of hospital smell and despair from their minds. A long weekend away was a good idea, he thinks – they both need to stay still for a while, remember how to breathe.

There is a smile on her face as she sighs deeply and looks off into the distance. He looks at her. There is color in her cheeks again, and not just from the cold.

“So, what are we doing here?” he asks. Because somehow he doesn’t think they just came down here for the view.

“Melissa and I used to do this thing,” she says, her eyes still fixed on the horizon. “When things were difficult, when her boyfriend dumped her, or when I was freaking out about telling our parents about joining the FBI. It was her idea. I don’t even know when it started.” Her smile is wistful, her eyes sad, and he loves her so much he can’t stand it sometimes. “We’d climb up onto the roof, or find a hill, or go to the beach, depending on where we were at the time. We took leaves, or feathers, or whatever we had, told them our deepest worries, and let the wind blow them away.”

“That sounds nice,” he says. “Did it work?”

“It was a nice ritual,” she answers. “It eased the pain for the moment.”

“Is that why you wanted to go out this late? Because you need to let go of something?”

Her eyes are so serious as they meet his. “No, Mulder,” she says. “We’re here because you do.”

He swallows. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not.” Her hand squeezes his fingers, her gaze holding his. “You’ve been so sad lately. And -” She shrugs. “I know it’s childish. But I thought maybe – you know. At least acknowledging it – whatever it is – maybe it would help.”

There is one thing, he thinks. Among many. One thing sitting on his chest heavier than all the water in the sea, and it would take a hurricane to wash him onto shore along with the driftwood. But she wants to share something with him and they came so close to losing it all. He’ll take anything she offers. He’s so happy to still have the chance. “What do I have to do?”

She lets go of his hand to pull a feather from her pocket, a single white feather. “I found this earlier. That’s what gave me the idea.”

He takes it and examines it carefully. Such a tiny thing. It will never be able to hold the weight of the ocean. But she’s asking him to believe that it can. “Do I have to say it out loud?”

“No,” she says. “Just think it. Really hard. And then let it go.”

For a short moment, he makes himself believe that it will work. That he can go back to before, to a time where he didn’t know what it feels like to watch the love of your life dying right before your eyes. “Okay,” he says, closes his fist around the tiny feather and squeezes his eyes shut. It hurts. It will always hurt. But it’s the pain of a memory. They will make new memories now.

He opens his eyes, then opens his fist, holds out his hand into the wind. Watches as the feather is caught by a gust, upwards and away, floating on invisible currents.

Next to him, Scully is solid and real, alive, looking at him like she loves him. “What did you tell it?” she asks, and then adds, “You don’t have to tell me.”

He can’t say it. Not right now. He gave the words to the wind, to the sky, to the open air under rugged clouds that are starting to turn red with the beginning of sunset. Maybe they can come down here tomorrow morning, to watch the sun climb its way back up over the edge of the world. Now that they no longer have to worry about every sunrise being her last.

So he doesn’t speak, instead lifts a hand and gently touches his fingers to the back of her neck, to where he can feel the raised skin of her scar, the evidence of the small miracle that let her survive, that gave her back to him.

“Mulder,” she whispers, and he lets the sound of his name from her lips wash over him; no one else has ever said his name like this. He doesn’t want to hear it this way from anyone else.

He brushes her hair away from her face and answers her smile with one of his own, and as he leans down for a kiss, her breath is warm, so warm against his lips.

[delimeful]

Really? You don’t find passive aggressive comments, such as your tags, do be impolite?

And how, exactly, is an ask button (which YOU enabled) that is commonly known to be used for requesting stories on Tumblr from writing pages impolite? Are you new to writing Tumblr? What do you think a majority of writers on Tumblr use that ask button for?

I’ve been a follower for a while but I’m pretty dissapointed tbh.

Anonymous asked: I noticed a reply from @/gstash So let me address that as well. No, of course I don’t expect everything immediately and for free, and I initially requested this story over a year ago. I also spent over $50 being subscribed to Lime’s Patreon specifically for this story, but I had to stop due to low finances. I was just trying to check on when it may be up soon, but I felt the response was rather rude.

(the added slash is mine, i didn't want to inadvertently @ anyone else in this debacle lol)

this is gonna be my final word on the matter because im sick of getting home from work to asks like these. anything else is gonna be deleted. feel free to go ahead and use your actual blog to reply instead of anon if you still feel that strongly about it.

i dont think my tags weren't passive aggressive they were just plain statements. no, i don't think it's impolite to express a boundary irt people asking me for updates. your indignation about this reflects on you, not me.

to clarify, badgering me for updates (verbatim: "Could you please please please post chapter 7") isn't impolite, just irritating. it was the decision to send another ask chiding me for my response that was impolite. kind of a dick move, as most involved in the tumblr writing community know. i genuinely feel sorry for the writers you follow if you genuinely only see their ask boxes as an opportunity to pester them.

i'm disappointed too, anon. i hoped that maybe keeping calm and sincerely explaining myself would be enough to prompt you to respond with empathy in kind, but instead you doubled down.

it seems like there's been a misunderstanding in regards to my patreon; there is no tier that ensures a specific chapter of a fic is updated within a specific time frame. that would be a commission, which is explicitly listed as a reward for my $30 tier, because those take a lot more time + energy for me.

my $12 patreon tier offers early access to my writing, and the ability to request future chapters be moved up on my to-do list, through polls + priority continuation requests. i can't guarantee any specific chapter update in a month, and i'll explain why.

currently, i have over 50 total WIP fics being worked on. each month, i get around 25 chapter update requests. even assuming that each chapter is 2k, my usual minimum chapter length, i would have to write 50,000 words every single month. if i had the capability for that kind of regular output, i would be churning out books like stephen king instead of constantly struggling for my usual monthly 10-15k like a chump lol.

in essence, don't subscribe to my patreon for a specific story unless you know the next chapter for it is already up there. which it is, because i eventually got to your request. and it'll eventually be up on the blog for free. and during the months you spent subscribed to my patreon, you received at minimum tens of thousands of words of content.

finally, an earnest request: please stop acting like twelve dollars is an exorbitant fee when i'm literally making pennies per word written. like, i could have worked a single 8 hour shift at mcdonalds in texas for minimum wage instead and i would have ended up with $8 more than you paid me for four months of many hours of dedicated work.

(not even a joke: 7.25 x 8 = 58.)

in conclusion, i am a human person with feelings, just like every other writer on this site. please take a moment to remember that when sending asks in the future

[massivedrickhead]

“You haven’t been yourself” from the angst prompt list if you haven’t gotten it yet :)

Surprise! Bet you thought I'd given up on this prompt request (I had too) but I finally managed to pull something together.

I haven't really felt motivated to write at all for basically the whole year, and that really bums me out. So I'm trying my best to get back to some abandoned WIPs in the hopes that i'll get me out of this funk.

Apologies for the legth of time it has taken for me to get this out, I really hope it was worth the wait.

-

“You haven’t been yourself.”

Prompt taken from here

Read on AO3

-

“Are you even listening to me?”

Beca blinked and looked up from her phone. “Sorry,” she said. “What were you saying?”

“I was just asking if you’re okay,” Chloe said, frowning at the bags under Beca’s eyes. “You’ve been a bit quiet lately.”

“I’m fine,” Beca said, one hand rubbing at her tired eyes as she turned her attention back to her phone. “I’m always quiet.”

“Not like this,” Chloe said. Not with me, she wanted to add. “You just don’t really seem like yourself.”

Beca shrugged. “I’m fine,” she repeated, though she didn’t sound any more convincing a second time. “Work’s been busy.”

“Okay,” Chloe said, knowing she wasn’t going to get any more out of her. “I’m gonna go shower. Stacie text and asked us to meet her for drinks, are you coming?”

Beca shook her head. “I’ve got a lot of work to get done,” she said, frowning at her phone as she tried to clear the seemingly never-ending list of emails. 

Chloe resisted the urge to pull the phone out of her hand, and instead turned and headed to the bathroom, swallowing down her frustration as she all but slammed the door behind her. 

Beca didn’t even register the noise. 

Her list of unread emails was growing longer by the second, each one seeming more important than the last. 

She was in the same spot when Chloe emerged from the bathroom twenty minutes later, and she still hadn’t moved another thirty minutes after that, when a fully dressed Chloe was heading out the door.

“We’ll be in Albertini’s if you change your mind,” Chloe said.

“Uh huh,” Beca replied. “Have fun.”

The front door closed and Beca’s eyes remained fixed on her phone screen. 

She tried to read an email from her boss, but she couldn’t focus enough to take in the words. She read it top to bottom three times without taking in a single word of it.

She was too distracted by a throbbing headache that felt like it was pushing against the backs of her eyes. She was hungry too, and her back hurt from the hunched-over position that she’d spent most of the day in.

Her phone began pinging with messages from Stacie, no doubt chastising her for not coming to the bar, and five more emails had hit her inbox by the time she’d closed out the one she hadn’t been able to read from her boss. 

It felt like everyone wanted something from her lately. 

She felt pulled in too many directions.

Stretched too thin. 

Chloe said she hadn’t seemed like herself, and she was right. Beca wasn’t herself. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been. 

She blinked rapidly, trying to clear the itchy tiredness from her eyes, and pulled her attention back to the email.

Chloe arrived back at their apartment several hours later, a little buzzed but not drunk, and it surprised her to find Beca in the same position as when she left, as if time had been paused when she’d shut the apartment door.

Beca had looked up at the sound of the door opening, but her attention returned to her phone almost immediately. She’d made some progress on her emails, but not nearly enough to justify the length of time she’d spent on them.

“Have you really not moved the whole time I was gone?” Chloe asked, pouring herself a glass of water.

“I guess not,” Beca replied. “I didn’t even realise it had been that long.”

“Seriously, what is going on with you?”

It’s the tone of Chloe’s voice rather than the question that made Beca’s shoulders finally slump. Chloe sounded worried, and Beca hated that she was the cause.

“I… I don’t know,” Beca said. 

Chloe left the kitchen and joined Beca on the sofa. 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“But something is wrong?” Chloe asked.

“Something feels wrong,” she said. “But I don’t know what. I don’t know why.”

Chloe let out a sigh and put her hand on top of Beca’s. “Okay,” she said. “How can I help?”

Beca opened her mouth but closed it again when no answer came. She shook her head and laughed. “I don’t know.”

“Have you eaten?”

Beca shook her head again.

“We can start there,” Chloe said. “I’m starving. Put that phone down and come help me make some ramen or something.”

Beca gave another quiet laugh but did as she was told. Chloe didn’t need her help making ramen, but Beca needed something to break this cycle she was stuck in. Something to focus on so she didn’t remain trapped in that indecision of what to do next.

“How’s Stacie?” Beca asked, following Chloe into the kitchen. 

“She’s good,” Chloe said. “She kept trying to set me up with guys at the bar.”

“Oh?”

“Uh huh,” Chloe said, smirking at the tone shift in Beca’s voice. “She doesn’t know I’m spoken for.”

“You didn’t think to tell her?”

“We said we’d do that together,” Chloe replied. “But you keep bailing on drinks.”

“I’m sorry,” Beca said, taking hold of Chloe’s hand and pulling her closer. “I promise I’ll come next week.”

“You’d better,” Chloe said. “Because if I have to politely turn down one more guy named Chad, I might lose it.”

[bitbybitwrites]

Helloooooo folks . . I haven't done one of these in a LONG time, I know. Summer - into September - kept me busy with helping a friend out with a (non writing related) project. So I haven't been doing much . . .

Well, now I'm playing MAJOR catch up with everything that got pushed aside while I was busy with other things. That does include writing!

I will admit, have hit a bit of writing block . . and maaaaybe (ok, most definitely) have also been totally engrossed in reading all those #kinktober / #flufftober / #angstober /#klainetober fics you talented folks have been posting!

(I'm soooo now wanting to try my hand at kinktober, but will admit I am highly intimidated.)

For any Klaine readers, I did post Chapter 28 of my epic: If I Can Make Your Heart My Home.

And below the cut, I'll have a couple of Klaine and RWRB snippets I have managed lately for you.

Thanks as always to these lovely folks for tagging me and thinking of me for WIP Wednesday and Six/Seven/Some Sentence Sundays lately ( if I missed anyone, I'm sorry!):

@sophie1973 , @porcelainmortal, @onthewaytosomewhere, @forabeatofadrum, @iboatedhere

@thesleepyskipper, @seths-rogens, @priincebutt @thighzp, @alasse9 @thinkof-england

@caterpills @taste-thewaste @tinyarmedtrex @14carrotghoul

*****

First off, I have not forgotten my RWRB fic, Puppy Love . . I'm working on the next chapter, a snippet for you:

“Haz.” “Haz. .  .” “Pssst . . . Haz . . .” A crumpled piece of paper  collided with Henry’s forehead and plopped unceremoniously onto the desk before him., knocking him back into the present moment. “I’m sorry, what?” Henry asked. Pez snorted as he looked at his best friend.  David had just jumped up onto Pez’ lap, licking his face excitedly.  “Can you believe this, David, dear boy, “ Pez asked the beagle.  “I’m being ignored.  Your father’s ignoring me.  Me!” Henry rolled his eyes as he resumed scanning the financial paperwork in front of him.  “You are impossible.” Pez continued to ignore Henry as he continued his conversation with the eager pup.  “David, I feel that you would understand.   You see, your father’s obsession . .” “I’m not obsessed with Alex!” “Case in point, “ said Pez, grinning at David, who snuggled further into his arms.  “I did not bring up your handsome doctor’s name . . yet your father knew EXACTLY who I was talking about by inference alone.” Henry huffed and tried once again to focus on the mind numbingly boring paperwork in front of him.  Though the mention of Alex’s name, did bring the vet to mind . . . again.  His beautiful eyes, those dark curls that Henry was longing to run his fingers through again . . those hands.  Henry shivered thinking all about what he saw those hands do during their last video call. Another crumpled sheet of paper smacked him in the chest. “Obsessed.” Pez reiterated with a pointed look to his best friend.  “You are obsessed, my darling.  You might as well admit it.” “Am not!” “Infatuated, then . .” “That’s practically the same thing . . and as I had mentioned before . . I am not.” “Are too.” “Am not." "Are toooooo . . ." "Are we really going to stoop to this?” Pez smirked.  “Oh, but it’s so much fun to see you this flustered over a boy.”

Here's a little thing I am trying to write for the first week of Klainetober prompt:

Clutching a red Solo cup filled with some god knows what potent alcoholic concoction, Blaine slowly worked his way through the room, stopping to say hello to a few students he recognized from class, but mostly admiring the handiwork and imaginative costumes many folks had come up with. He was just about to go up to a young woman who had amazingly crocheted an entire King Bowser costume when he was jostled by a roaming drunk band of actors in Hamilton outfits, reenacting one of the numbers from the show.  Blaine cursed under his breath as he lost his footing and stumbled into someone behind him. Blaine’s hand had jerked upward as he fell to the ground, causing the contents of his cup to fly into the air and land on him and his unsuspecting victim behind him. “Hey, what the hell?!” a voice behind him shrieked. Blaine struggled to pull his cape off of his head, which had fallen there as he took his embarrassing spill to the floor.  Once he did, he found himself staring upwards at the most beautiful man on earth.  Who was extremely pissed off. And dripping wet. “Oh, my god,” Blaine said as he quickly got to his feet , nearly slipping in the puddle of his drink and falling down once again.  “Oh my god.  I am . .I am so . .so sorry.  I didn’t mean to . . . I swear those guys . .  .” “Are assholes!” The beautiful stranger yelled off in the direction of the roving drunken students many of whom laughed out loud and threw both Blaine and him the middle finger. Desperate to make things right, Blaine (ever the fix-it guy) began taking the edge of his cape and using it to pat dry the other man gingerly.  The stranger was dressed in a very form fitting black shimmery body suit that hugged every inch of what appeared to be a lithe, trim figure.  A gold belt rested low on his hips, accentuating the stranger’s shoulder to waist ratio.  A necklace of golden medallion sat upon his chest and in his upswept chestnut hair peeked a pair of black cat ears.  Leather knee-high, lace up boots and a menacing black leather whip finished off the ensemble. It was both electrifyingly sexy and intimidating at the same time.

*****

That's all I've got at the moment, folks . . .

Going to tag the following people in case they want to share anything they are currently working on ( writing, art . . etc . .):

@spaceorphan18 @sparklepocalypse @wowbright @hkvoyage @myheartalivewrites

@mynonah @special-bc-ur-part-of-it @justgleekout @datshitrandom @itsmaybitheway

@coffeegleek @mossy-fae @daisyishedwig @annepi-blog

And open tag for anyone who wants to share!

[theonceandfuturequeenoftarts]

Thank you for the tag, @mosiva! ♡♡♡

"Self-rec time! What are your favorite five fics that you've written and why? After replying to this ask, feel free to pass on to five other writers to spread the love. 💗"

Four of these were easy choices and one was trickier, but in no particular order...

thrown into the nest (T, 10,565 words, WIP)

This fic possessed me. The first chapter took over my entire life for ten hours during which I came up with and wrote the whole thing -- I couldn't stop until it was done and posted. Two or three days later, the same thing happened with the second chapter. It's like I was exorcising demons into a doc file. It's also notable because maybe a week or two before I wrote it, I told a friend I would never write ABO fic. More fool me.

I love this fic because it drew together so many ace people -- I've never felt a greater sense of community than I did in the hours after this fic was posted, seeing the comments of people who saw themselves in Harry and Tom's experiences. It blew me away, and I felt so happy to have done justice to some small part of the ace experience. It was a different type of joy, and a bit more cathartic, to write compared to other fics of mine.

VII (M, 2,609 words)

I think I've said it before, but I honestly thought this would be one of those weird little fics that I wrote for myself and maybe five other people would like. It's grown beyond what I originally meant it to be, and while I really, really love the sequel too, this one holds my heart. It's disjointed and dark (for me), and it's one of the few that I've written that actually has Harry and Voldemort start out hating each other and move through it. (What can I say, I mainly write crack and fluff.) They're both feral and damaged and violent and cling to each other all the tighter for it by the end. I also like making the Unspeakables ethically (and morally) dubious and research-obsessed, and this was my first foray into that.

naïve melody (G, 2,904 words)

The Ferris wheel fic; another fic that I thought maybe five other people would enjoy. I'm still proud of the wistful tone it has, and some of the turns of phrase, despite the crack-tastic premise. It's sweet and silly and it makes me feel warm to re-read it. It might also be my favourite Voldemort characterisation of all the fics I've written.

engrave the silhouette of you (M, 10,480 words, WIP)

Look... I just like hurting them, okay? I used the "angst with a happy ending" tag because I need everyone (myself included) to know it's gonna be alright in the end. I have made myself a crying mess multiple times in the course of writing or plotting out this fic. This is very much a "how would the characters react in this situation if X happened?" fic that has grown legs. It's fun (and painful) to put myself in Harry and Voldemort's headspaces and then put us all through the emotional meat-grinder. But it's going to be fine. Eventually.

Capsized (M, 948 words)

Fun, not-previously-shared fact: this fic started out as a way for me to process my maladaptive daydreams and suicidal ideations through Harry. All of the things he imagines or considers are things that I have, as well. (This makes the one comment that says "MAKE HIM SUFFER YASSSS" really, really funny to me.) I wasn't sure if I would ever post it -- it took me five months to decide to do it, because it's extremely personal. But it felt good to put it all into words and make it... "pretty," I guess? It's probably as raw as I can make it while also trying to fit it into the HP world and have it be enjoyable to read.

(Honourable mention goes to Prompt-ober 2023, because it almost killed me to do it, but it was so much fun to write everyday for a month and have the same folks comment each day and chat with them throughout the month (I love you all ♡♡♡). However, that's like twenty-five different fics in one, so it doesn't count.)

Tagging @liquidluckandstuff, @i-dream-of-libraries, @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger, @aglassroseneverfades, and @hikarimeroperiddle

No pressure, do it if it will be a fun distraction! ♡♡♡

(Note: I recently locked my account to registered users only because of an AI scraper targetting Ao3. If you don't have an account and would like to read any of the above, just send me a message and I'll provide a file ♡)

[cutestkilla]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers (except me because obvs I have done it). Spread the self-love ❤

Thank you so much for this ask (and @bookish-bogwitch and @aristocratic-otter too). You're all amazing and your self-recs are too - I cosign them all!

So: this is the first time I've gotten one of these where I actually HAVE 5+ fics (of my own) to choose from 😂 so you know what, even though it's a *somewhat* trivial process, I'm gonna DO THE THING and come up with a Top 5.

1. What's Left (133K, M)

My first fic, and still my favourite. Probably because conceptually, I don't think I'll ever come up with something this cool or interesting again. And also because I got to spend so many words with my version of the Humdrum (who many of you know as Sid), expanding on what we know of him from canon and all the ways he intersects with Simon, and I kind of just love him alot. This is definitely the plottiest thing I've ever written, with lots of twists and turns and what I think is a sort of an arc you can't predict from the start (pioneering the Baz/Humdrum tag!!), and that made it really fun to write, and I hope fun to read too. Also, this is the most painful thing I've written (it starts with Simon dead, folks), which if you know me at all, explains why it would be my favourite. 😂

2. Hiding Out in the Open (48K, M - WIP 5/7 chapters)

This takes the #2 spot for sure because: a) it's also got a decent amount of pain courtesy of an alt-WS divergence setting and b) it's also kinda high concept. And c) I'm writing it as a very drawn out birthday gift for my beloved @artsyunderstudy in honour of what is now OUR beloved psychology podcast of choice, Hidden Brain. My favourite thing about this one is the way I've worked all these real concepts in psychology (and real episodes of Hidden Brain) into the narrative in a way that I think feels organic and true to the characters. It's been a challenging puzzle to solve, but man have I learned some cool things along the way. This one IS a WIP, but I'm going full steam ahead on it, and even though the story is NOT over, ch 5 ends in a decently satisfying place.

3. Slamming and Smashing (18K, E)

My first (and only) E-rated fic! I'm more of a soft smut writer, but I had so much fun writing this one as a gift for @ic3-que3n based on prompts that included: NSFW, Simon slamming Baz into a wall (as referenced in Snow for Christmas), a very specific line from Bram Stoker's Dracula about wild rose, AND an Anastasia AU. This one is pretty low on pain/angst and high on post-canon fluff, but I did still give Baz a *bit* of a breakdown in it 😂. I'm proud of this one because I think it's hot and also because I managed to hit ALL those prompts in one smutty fic, and tell what I think is a pretty relatable story about how hard communicating can be in relationships.

4. Episode 5: The Tardigrade and His Boy (25K, T)

Another gift fic, this time for @raenestee! This was not only an amazingly fun collaboration with @facewithoutheart @aristocratic-otter @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @thewholelemon

@mostlymaudlin and @artsyunderstudy, but I found a way to have the Humdrum front and centre again which makes me so happy. I also cut my teeth writing Shep and Agatha POVs for the first time in this one, which was very fun. And I managed to write one of my most favourite types of fics: one that is both an AU and also secretly canon-compliant. This is my only true AU and I think it's a really fun romp (just like the rest of the series which I highly recommend).

5. This Is Your Place (18K, M)

This one was for Prompt Fest 2022 (a fest to celebrate the anniversary of @carryonprompts where - reminder - you can submit your Carry On fic prompt ideas and maybe someone will write them) and filled this prompt by @bookish-bogwitch:

"@ionlydrinkhotwater wrote this meta: "Omg Simon is such a ho, in retaliation for Baz pulling the open sesame move, he dashes to their room, showers, shaves (nicking his skin so he's a little bit bloody and therefore yummy) and "accidentally" comes out in just pajama bottoms with his tits full out, without the necklace." ... And I want to read a fic where Baz fuckin' Takes. The. BAIT."

What I think I did well in this one is building up both the tension and the empathy between Simon and Baz in a way that makes the payoff feel earned, even though the story only takes place over the course of a few hours, the day Baz gets back to Watford after the numpties. I also really love my Baz inner monologue in this, and that Simon gets to be a little bit smooth, too.

[safe-from-sharp-teeth]

Ayo! I haven't answered asks in FOREVER, so it's time for some spring cleaning :) Also answering other stuff, like what I've been up to.

If you sent an ask and it's not here, sorry! I may have deleted it because the prompt required too much work of me and I wasn't feeling it, or I was uncomfortable.

Let's gooooo !

Firstly - where have I been? Work REALLY picked up in a way I wasn't expecting over the last...4 months? I was working double and often triple the hours I was used to. With work, vacations, random illnesses, and many video games I got a bit too obsessed with, this blog took a backseat. Plus, sometimes I get disinterested in vore when obsessed with something else. Sometimes, that lasts months, and it did this time.

But now I can confirm that work will FINALLY chill for a long period of time. I'm free! And more motivated than ever! Wahoo! Thanks for your support ALWAYS.

Next big question - when am I going to do more of my story? The one with Asyr? AHHHHHGHHGHH this story has consumed my life. I think about it daily. I dream about it. And yet I'm not as comfortable writing as I am drawing, so writing is a slow process that my perfectionist ass struggles with. I can assure you that there is a story in the works - and I am working on it at a snail's pace.

Okay, ask time...

@ponyluvesonic09 AYO maybe I'll make a full ghost pred pros/con list for you, because that sounds awesome! Kir//by is one of the silliest canon preds out there. Honestly getting eaten by him would be like getting vored by a vacuum, LOL. Galaxy tummy!! Imagine a prey floating around in one of those item bubbles all grumpy. Thank u for the ask, this is good stuff.

no. ( /・・)ノ

UWAGHHHHH I LIKE HER!!! Never played O/verwat/ch but what a gem!! I have a random fondness for centaur-like preds nowadays. She looks so cozy. THANK U I LOVE HER!!!

@tiger9o0 I have not played r//ain w//orld or know what it's about, LOL. Looks like a platformer? Man, I'm terrrriiiiibblleee at those. But whoever this is on the cover, I LIKE EM. A+. (That might not answer ur question shdjbghkjg SORRY)

@heimkoheimkofan LOVE THAT I GOT THE ROBOT ENJOYERS AFTER THAT ONE POST....YES yall are so right and I'm so wrong for just hard metal robot tums. I will rectify my mistake soon I PROMISE. Also oh! You were the one asking about stomachs other than elemental ones! IVE HAD THAT IN MY DRAFTS FOREVER IM SORRY AHHHH. I REALLY love your imagination with tums and you've inspired me to think of some awesome environments! THANKS

@fastfur07 BWAH?? Ugh I'm all over the place when it comes to art. Some pieces take 30 min (like the zangooc I drew at the top of this post), most take 2 days. Some really hard drawings like my wolf bat creechur from a few months ago and my shrimp from last year took a month. THANK U??

We're going back so far that I think this is about my naga oc (which I'm in the midst of redesigning cough cough). For him, he would never tolerate being prey, extremely unwilling bahaha. In general, I haven't thought much about naga or snake prey! I get the appeal of slurping up a noodle, but I just prefer human prey :)

@fastfur07 you fiend, you always give me the best drawing ideas. UNFORTUNATELY, I didn't have time to draw something for this one. BUTTTT....

(i've had this next one in my drafts for forever)

then i had a silly comic. I'll post the wip here because I won't finish it, so enjoy bahaha.

@blizzaria123-blog THANK U im rapidly melting into a puddle from ur words

@mrpotatomanversionsix relevant. i will continue drawing them 4 u

?!??!!??!?!??!?!?!??!?!? how dare u enter my ask box with this blasphemy

@sfwsillynoms WAH!!! you!!! I'm currently redesigning my naga oc but when I finish I'll tag you, if you're still around! And he can 100% be drawn with ur preysona :)

@mystorl i am SO late to this, but SMART. I like it. I shall give my lil guy this friend. I just want to let u know that I see this and it's wonderful and I will do something abt it.

I remember this ask made me laugh a ton when I first got it. thank u. idk why I find this so funny

@sillylilprey IM CRYING RIGHT BACK AHHHH this is an ancient ask, but thank u! hope you're still enjoying!

@terrytheinsane finally, the last ask in my askbox. I love it. You have been wronged with how long it took me to answer you. I have gained knowledge from your ask. THANKS

AND THAT'S IT!! Thanks guys, I hope to make you proud! Feel free to send more asks, and hopefully I will answer in a TIMELY manner.

Goodnight! And remember: Nice Vore ᕕ༼⌐■-■༽ᕗ

[darkkitty1208]

on fic writing and fandom: where am i going forward?

So. It's a bloody dull Friday and I'm writing this post--have been meaning to, for a while--because I can't stop thinking about it. It's just a few (a lot, actually) thoughts I've had in my mind the past few days that I've decided to spill into a single post, which turned out far longer than it needed to be, but nothing too important. Under the cut.

I've been a fanfic writer for a while now. Not a long time by any means, but a while nonetheless. My first fic--which is now orphaned like a few of its brothers for undisclosed reasons, though if you're an og you might be able to guess why--was dated back to the 18th of November 2021. 3 years later and I've got a humble 89 works and counting (the orphaned works and unposted wips unincluded). I can safely say I've improved quite a lot since then.

Where are you going with this, then, Kitty? Surely you aren't here just to brag about your writing progress?

Well. Not exactly. But I'll start with this: I guess what I'm trying to say is I've lost the spark.

You know. The old feeling. That boost of serotonin you get after you finish a piece you're proud of, or when you get lovely reviews on ao3, or when you get a kudos email, or a new mutual, or some wild tags under your silly post. The spark. I haven't felt it in a long time, now. The last time it's been so palpable was... I'm not sure. Probably last year's October. That was a lot of fun. I was most prolific in fic writing, that year. It shouldn't feel like a long time ago. Because it wasn't.

Don't get me wrong. I love all this. All that's going on right now. The comments I'm getting--even if fewer than I had before--and all the other interactions, I appreciate and enjoy and love them so, so much. And writing my newer fic projects are well exciting. But it just isn't the same anymore. I'm afraid it never will be.

(Maybe it has something to do with the lack of interactions lately. Maybe? I don't really know, either. I'm sure we're all well aware the fandom is past its peak, and with the current developments in the MCU I am frankly unsurprised, but I dunno.)

I guess that's part of the reason I've been less active lately. I've been inactive as a whole this year, admittedly, and disappearing far too often for far too long (and I notice some of my friends are, too). I just didn't get the same joy from being in a fandom like I had when I first started this blog, or my ao3 account.

In hindsight, I've probably been a little too dependent on fandom to provide me serotonin. The past few years have been hard, the years before that, too. Life just keeps kicking me in the arse time and time again. I guess I've been using fandom and fic writing as a coping mechanism, and once I've had my fill, the joy dies off to something a little more dull. Like a gum I've been chewing for too long that the sweetness has since worn off.

Honestly? I don't want it to be this way. I want to live without being so dependent on my presence online. I want to live without only knowing joy through internet interactions. I've got to learn to. It sounds silly, but it's true. (I think I may be slightly chronically online, oh no. x'D)

So naturally my first instinct is to distance myself a little. I contemplated quitting, but I can't do that. I don't see myself ever doing that, no matter how many times my brain convinces me that I might.

When this year started, I had set some goals for writing. One of them was to write for more whumptober prompts than I did last year or complete them all. I did like 21 prompts or something last year. Of 31. Within a little more than a month. While still balancing all the life stuff I had going on. This is, if not obvious, an extremely ambitious goal. I am not insane. I don't know what I was thinking. I can't possibly do that now, can I? Not with all the stuff that's been happening.

...

Can I?

...

Yeah, no. Definitely not.

See, that's another thing: writing. Probably the thing I'm trying to get at in this post but otherwise derailed completely from. Fuck my brain.

I'm sure many of you have noticed that I've been writing significantly less. I still post, obviously, but not as much as like, last year when the number of works I had went from a few to far too much. That had helped me improve quite a lot, actually, but those days I barely slept because I just insisted to replace my sleep time with Writing Shit For The Gays. It was pretty unhealthy now that I look back at it. My sleep schedule is still shit now but, yk. Some things just never change.

I was really, really caught up on wanting to be good at writing. Like, really good. I wanted to make awesome things. I wanted to write like a real fucking pro. Like all the more popular fandom authors I look up to. I want to be like the big dogs in fandom. It sounds so silly. I did everything; sprinting daily, setting a minimum of 500 words writing sessions every day, trying new writing styles, churning out works after works, writing for prompts and events and gifts and the like. I was enjoying it, yes, but was it really something I did for myself? Or was it because I wanted to please other people or impress other people for their validation, which is something I'm entirely too dependent of? Was it for the numbers?

Well. It was more for that than for me, I realised a little too late.

So yeah. Fuck wanting to be good. I want to write for the hell of it. I want to write something that's for me. Not what the majority of the fandom or other people want to read, but for me. Which is why I absolutely loved writing works like just a matter of time, how to kill a god, or how to become a god, because they're not meant for other people but myself. (Ironically that last work is a gift but, yk. I still liked it.) I know I joke about self-projecting a lot, but it's been seriously helping me rediscover the joy of writing that doesn't come from the incessant need to be good or perfect or focus on producing more and more and more. It makes me feel like a kid again. Also, I'm only realising this now but I'd rather get like 5 people who enjoy reading my works so much and express them to me rather than 100 people who silently thumbs up at me and then go away to consume another fic or demand more. (All this to say I still love interactions, it just shouldn't be my no. 1 priority to get them when writing fanfics.)

But yeah. None of those works are perfect. They're not meant to be. But they're mine. They're me. They represent me. And it's so, so great to feel that in writing. I've been so stuck up on being some sort of content machine. I'm doing this for myself, how could I forget? I've been saying this since the beginning, I don't know why I'm still struggling to do it. God. It's ridiculous.

Anyway. That's that. This has become a very long ramble. Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk. And for letting me waste your time, if you make it to the end of this post.

[luxaofhesperides]

decided to make an actually useful pinned post so here we go:

i have a newsletter that goes out every so often with my thoughts on things, what i'm reading, and occasionally a look at my original wips. it's totally free bc this is just a little thing i do for fun. subscribe if u want! here's the link

all of my writing can be found under the 'my writing' tag. edits, usually book edits, are under 'my edit'.

my ao3 is aryelee and every fic i post in here is also posted over there so if youre having trouble finding something, that's where you should go!

all my random thoughts are tagged as 'rambles' and when i live blog the comics im reading, i use 'comic read' so block either of those if you don't want me clogging ur dash.

below the cut is a look at all of my wips at the tags i use for them

ORIGINAL WIPS

this darkness swallows us whole ; the very first wip i ever started when i first began writing. it's a hot mess with too many uncompleted first drafts, but i love it so much. demons, gray morality, and one mute girl ready to start throwing hands. - #camellia

every other face ; superhero wip! with a villain taking in a child and trying to live a normal life despite the hero, her main nemesis, constantly popping in to make sure the kid is safe and she hasn't decided to cause trouble. - #caerleon community

past the pages ; isekai wip focusing on the characters trying to figure out what went wrong when the 'villainess' goes missing, ruining the happy ending the protagonist was expecting

- no tag yet! will update once i post about the wip on here.

DC

these aren't wings, they're futures ; in which tim and damian travel back in time to when jason was robin, and try to make this new timeline better while avoiding being caught by the bats for the illegal things they're doing as very young children. - ao3 link - #these arent wings

medium!tim verse ; in which tim is a medium who helps ghosts. three timelines planned: canon, polaris, and civilian. - ao3 link - #medium tim verse

manako ; my dc oc, a very tired, no nonsense baker in gotham who doesn't want to deal with bats begging for snacks in the middle of the night. ocs everywhere, and a look into the community of gotham and the life of civilians. - ao3 link (to be made) - #manako

OTHER

ghostlights requests (dc x dp) ; fics made for danny fenton/duke thomas prompts sent in to me. currently not accepting prompts. - ao3 link - #prompt fill

those who serve (dc x dp) ; danny is taken in by alfred and works as his apprentice in wayne manor. - ao3 link - #alfred's apprentice au

the harmless series (dc x dp) ; danny is reincarnated as damian's older brother + the fallout of remembering - masterpost of all parts - #the harmless series

my askbox is always open if you want to know more about any of these!

(last edited: 7.21.24)

[p-artsypants]

Blurb #63

I'm going to try to share 70 blurbs from my WIPs and unfinished fics to celebrate reaching 70 posted fics! To help with this endeavor, please feel free to send me a word or a fandom you know I write for, and I'll share the blurb. IDK if I'll get 70 prompts, but let's try it! Send as many as you want!

“How did I successfully revive you?” 

“Yeah, that.” 

“Well, that’s the interesting part. It’s all about how you were frozen. Most bodies from your time period that we find in ice are mummified or you know, some state of very very dead. But you…you were frozen so quickly,” he snapped his fingers, “everything was perfectly preserved. Normally, when the human body freezes, ice forms inside and can tear apart organs and destroy the body. But that didn’t happen with you. So…how were you frozen?” 

Hiccup swallowed thickly, his last memories coming forth in his mind. The Bewilderbeast, Drago…his father. 

“You know what?” John interrupted. “We can talk about that later. It seems like a sore spot.” 

“...it’s…awful,” Hiccup whispered. He closed his eyes as he kept replaying those moments. And it wasn’t just scary being frozen, but he thought about everyone else that was there. Astrid, his mom, Gobber, the rest of the riders…even the rest of the village like Bucket and Mulch. “Are they all gone?” He breathed. 

“Who?”

“My…my friends, my lover, my family…they’re all…” he covered his mouth as it hit him hard. They weren’t just dead, they were long dead. He never arrived in Valhalla. He was all alone in this weird world, and he had failed to save Berk and the dragons. It was all his fault. 

“Hey hey hey,” John soothed, wrapping a paternal arm around him. “It’s okay. It’s okay.” 

“No! No its not! I just found my mom! Astrid and I were–and then Drago–!” He sobbed. 

John took him gently by the shoulders and looked him in the eye. “Hiccup, take a deep breath.”

“You should have left me in that ice…” 

“No, no. Stop that. Listen to me,” he said firmly. “I might get in trouble for this, but I don’t care. You need to know.” 

Hiccup sniffed. “Know what?”

“You…were not the only person we found.” 

His heart started thudding. “How many others?”

John hesitated then said, “about a village full.” 

Hiccup felt boneless as he fell forward onto John’s shoulder in shock. “They…they can be revived too?” 

“Maybe,” John admitted. “That’s why I didn’t really want to tell you.” 

Hiccup raised his head, and braced his arms on his knees. “I’m listening.” 

“Reviving you was a very expensive ordeal. In order to revive anyone else, we need money.” 

“I’m a blacksmith, I’ll get to work right away!” 

John smiled and patted his arm. “I love the enthusiasm, but that’s not necessary. No, what we need from you is simply your cooperation and your story.” 

“My story?” 

“Mmmhmm. We’ll present you to scientific institutions, government agencies, and rich old people. In the presentations, we’ll ask you to introduce yourself. Who are you? What was village life like? What’s your occupation? How’d you lose your leg? And most importantly, how did you train a dragon?” 

At the mere mention, Hiccup sat up straighter, anxiousness setting in. “Toothless! Is he awake? Can I see him?” 

“Not yet, but soon,” John assured. “You are still very weak from your thaw, and too much excitement will cause stress on you. The more calm and relaxed you stay, the sooner you’ll see...did you say his name was Toothless?” 

Hiccup shrugged. “It’s a long story.” 

“Can’t wait to hear it.” 

“I promise, I will relax so much more if I see him and know he’s okay. He…he needs me. He can’t fly without me.” 

“Well, it’s good to know that he can fly. But I suppose you’re right. I’ll check with my team to make sure they’re ready for you.” 

Hiccup heaved a sigh of relief.

[em-harlsnow]

ive realised that a lot of my fan fictions involve mickey getting hurt so I wanted to explain this since I don't want it to be misinterpreted.

In 'it's dark tonight (will you stay?)' I wrote about Terry beating mickey up after the 3x06 episode and Ian, mandy and lip taking him back to the Gallagher house. this was the first fic I ever wrote and I wanted to explore mickey being vulnerable around Ian and trusting him. it's a common trope for shameless pics to have mickey going to ian's house after a run-in with Terry, but I hadn't seen many like this so I wanted to explore that.

in 'I'll fight everyone but you' the plot is heavily based on the first season of peaky blinders, in which Tommy gets shot. so... that's why Mickey gets shot. I didn't want Ian to get shot because I felt like that would make ian's family completely distrustful of mickey and change the plot significantly.

in 'gallagehrs and group chats' chapter 5, both Ian and mickey are shown to be in abusive households, which they were, and they both looked after each other. so I feel this requires less explanation.

in 'iron bars' there are two instances where mickey gets hurt. first, in a fight. reason for this is because I feel it would be correct to assume that due to his family's rep, his own rep, and the fact that he's gay and kinda short would make people think he's an easy target. also, he wins the fight and is hardly hurt, so maybe this is irrelevant. second instance is mickey getting stabbed. same reasons, honestly. the reason I showed mickey getting stabbed and not Ian is so simple. it's because Ian works in the infirmary, therefore he can be around while mickey is recovering in the infirmary. but if Ian were stabbed, mickey obvs could not visit him because he doesn't work in the infirmary.

in 'heard you could save me' mickey's also stabbed. reason for this is so Ian can heal him with his healing powers. this fic is SO for fun for me. it's not a deep psycho analysis of characters, it's just me playing around with superheros, so I'm not analysing this one too much.

even so, I think I could stand to put more focus on Ian in general when it comes to the issues he's had and still has. this is me trying to be self aware and expand on my works. I have been trying to show both their issues in 'iron bars'. I swear. Anyway im doing a lot of WIPs at the moment but if anyone has Ian-centric prompts I'd be happy to hear them and MAYBE write them when I can.

[nerdieforpedro]

Weekend Update 03/10/2024

Made it another week Nerdie.

That I did. I believe today is Sunday. Too much time in this chair. I think I slept in it before. Too many times.

Nerdie, don't you have a bed?

I do, I don't always make it there. I've usually zoned out and nodded off, the wake up when my neck hurts. 👀 I'm not always writing either, just thinking sometimes.

Couldn't you think in bed Nerdie?

I could, but I don't. That sounds like a good idea. My ideas aren't always great. But I did have a few this week.

My March Spring Prompts continue. I was able to do ten of them without repeating a character! 🤗 This upcoming week we'll see some Pedro peeps come back. Key words: gas station sushi, angst, oil and bath. Remember this is Nerdie 😎, it could be any and everything, but my prompts are mature and not explicit. I do write about some heavy subjects, fluff, a few giggles, and have some innuendos, but my main masterlist is 78% smut so just go there.

The WIP I’d been mentioning for the last few weeks or months (could be either) is finished and posted : Diddle your Dieter to Disco. My first Dieter smut actually which is hilarious at least to me. 🤣 The rest of his Masterlist is fairly fluffy. I would check the warnings on it, I put a lot in it. 👀

Part Two of my series The Lake Between Us is up. Make sure to read the warnings. Ezra introduction has a lot going on. It's an AU so he has both arms but that doesn't mean I didn't torture him other ways. 👀 I do love that ya'll love the taglist name "Taste-testers of Ezra's gumbo." 😆

I finally wrote the follow up to He told me his name called She made me feel. I think I enjoy mentally torturing Pedro characters at this point. Poor Din is so anxious and touch-starved. As always with Din = HANDS. A Nerdie staple. This is The Way.

Now for everyone's favorite (and mine): Fic recommendations!!! (Yes I did type and do a little yell, fanfics are serious. Pfft.) 😄

Confetti by @secretelephanttattoo (Marcus Pike x f reader) The Quiet Moments Collection

Adrift with you by @morallyinept (Frankie Morales x Jude OFC) The Prologue “I’m behind”’😭

A Real Man by @pedroshotwifey (Frankie Morales x female plus size reader) my request - stay self indulgent everyone! 🥰

Tick by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin (Frankie Morales x wife reader) The Mistress of Angst!

A Bronx Tale: Part Deux - A Chicago Tale by @justabovewater20 (SydCarmy)

Love’s a weed:  just ripe by @tinytinymenace (Frankie Morales x ofc - Ruby) Fruits are essential.

Second Chances part 2 by @pedroscurls (Marcus Pike x fem reader) Such a cute series 💕

Cigarettes After Sex by @immarocketman (Awesome artist I follow. 💜)

Promise by @criticallyacclaimedstranger (Ezra - dragon x fem reader) The only Pedro character that can pull off being a dragon. 🐉

Please Mister Please by @grogusmum (Joel Miller x fem reader) The fluff 🥹💕

Unconventional Location by @winniethewife (Abel Morales x fem reader)

Personal Shopper by @huntingingoodwill (Dieter Bravo x reader)

Enjoy the Silence by @strang3lov3 (Joel Miller x fem reader)

Spicy Ask #68 by @kewwrites (Din Djarin x reader) Say it with me: HANDS 🙌🏼!!!!

Reminder by @criticallyacclaimedstranger (Tim Rockford x fem reader) Sometimes good things happen in Tim’s office.

Forever Starts With You Masterlist (Frankie Morales x chubby fem reader) @criticallyacclaimedstranger I loved all three parts I read 🥰🥰 (A Good Start, A Strong Finish and A New Beginning). It looks like there more to their story so much more reading for me. ❤️

some good friend by @covetyou (Tim Rockford x fem reader) TIM DESERVED THIS ❤️ That is all.

Sanctuary by @thefrogdalorian (Din Djarin x GN reader) Din fluff forever. 🤗

We got your back chapter 1 by @softpascalito (Javier Peña x fem reader)

The Sweetest Melody by @noisynaia (Din Djarin x afab reader)

Rise by @sp00kymulderr (Joel Miller x afab reader) ALL THE FEELS 😭

Falling for you by @fhatbhabie (Joel Miller x plus size reader) Part One - The drama!

Just look at You by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin (Poe Dameron x fem reader) The Poe Dameron smut we deserve. 🍆

Chapter 3 - Here’s a health to the company… and one to my Boss… by @inept-the-magnificent (Tim Rockford x ofc Jane Nebbie) I just think about this series and I start giggling. Sunshine Nebbie and grump Tim - he is a super grump. But he is also me. 🤣

To the Flame chapter 6.5 by @pedroshotwifey (Dark Javier Peña x fem reader) So sweet out of context.

To the Flame chapter 9 by @pedroshotwifey (Dark Javier Peña x fem reader) The slow decent begins...we're just at the start of the ride. 😈

Between the Sheets by @saturn-rings-writes (William Tell x fem reader) Reminded me of an Isley Brothers song. I feel like we're headed toward that song. Please with this direction.

Hiccup by @morallyinept (Javier Gutierrez x fem reader) A whimpering Javi G. What an evening. 😘

A New Home by @charethcutestory02 (Frankie Morales x Benny Miller) Budding feelings. 🤗

Special shout out to Ms. Payday - Le Poet and lover of da words: @maggiemayhemnj They seek her out, have brunches and nightcaps. It's what all writers long for. She checked in on me along with @megamindsecretlair @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @magpiepills @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin and @lady-bess

I've been not as active - mainly due to work, school, and the insomnia. But still writing. 😄 priorities. lol

New appreciation for Javier Pena. well not new, re-newed. Maybe am working on a few things. None are good, none are final. Still need polishing. Also need to give Javi G's outline another look. I might...👀 have a chapter for him this week. I hope. @goodwithcheese was pleased with this. @undercoverpena was Luke-warm. I think she thought I was taking something, but if Javi P has shown us anything, sharing is caring. 😘

Stay well, sleep in your bed (unless you're planning not to) and be hydrated,

Love Nerdie 💕