#me: I know somebody named beryl.

[heroesriseandfall]

Beryl is saying hello to America today. Say hi to the Squire!

[raccoonfallsharder]

the raccoon, the witch, & the roadtrip. part one. prepare for departure.

the raccoon, the witch, & the roadtrip masterlist next part | main masterlist

angst, comfort, friendship, & fluff for @hibatasblog rocket & wanda | part 1/7 | word count: 1371.

rocket gets a very-important mission from danvers and needs a partner to go with him. enter the witch.

It is a well-documented fact (I know you know) that in the comic books, many of the marvel ladies have a thing for Rocket Raccoon. How could they not? Eyes like red beryls and pyropes, teeth and wit both so sharp they can kill long before the perfectly-aimed gravity-blast. Intuition off the charts, not to mention the things they've heard he can do with that tail...

Alas, this is not the comics. This is the MCU, some time between 2018 and 2023.

And while everything else remains more or less the same, Wanda Maximoff was not turned into ash.

“Yeah, yeah, I hear you,” Rocket says, rolling his eyes.

Wanda isn’t sure what to call him. He looks like a raccoon, but insists that he isn’t one. Maybe he’s an alien. Maybe he’s something else. Either way, he’s rolling his eyes at Natasha, so hard that his whole head rolls with them.

“Look, I got a very important mission from Danvers, and Nebs is busy right now, working with Kraglin to make Knowhere a more hospitablistic place for Snap refugees. D’you wanna fuck over a bunch of Snap refugees, Nat?”

He crosses his arms and raises a brow up at the new leader-apparent of the Avengers. If Wanda hadn’t felt so — nothing at all, actually — she might have let a smirk curl the corner of her mouth. He’s kind of a brat, and he knows how to get under peoples’ skin. When she’d been a child, she would have found that entertaining. Endearing. She supposes she’d used to have a soft spot for scrappy survivors. Then she’d had to stop having a soft spot for anything but her brother.

Then —

“Goddammit, Rocket. Go to Washington, then. I don’t care. But we still need the Benatar.”

His challenging look turns into a glower. “Fuck off, Nat. What am I supposed to do, then? Drive your frickin’ car?”

Natasha flaps a hand at him distractedly from behind her desk. “Yes, that’s fine, take the car—”

The look he gives her is withering. “I can’t reach the fuckin’ pedals, Nat. So unless you’re giving me permission to take the whole inefficient machine apart an’ put it back together to suit my needs, you’re gonna have to—”

“I can’t spare anyone, Rocket,” the Russian snaps.

“And I can’t be alone right now,” he snaps right back. Wanda’s eyes flick back and forth between them. 

Natasha grits her teeth. “You said this was a mission from Carol?”

“Yes,” he hisses, tapping one booted foot impatiently. 

She closes her eyes and sighs heavily, leaning back in her chair and pressing her fingers into her temples. “Fine,” she says at last, drawing the word out — petulantly, Wanda thinks from a great distance. “Find someone who’s willing to go with you and I’ll tell you if I can spare them.”

Rocket doesn’t hesitate. Without moving anything but his arm, he’s brandishing a single dark claw in Wanda’s direction.

“I’ll take the witch.”

Five years earlier — in the first days after the Snap, before they’d left all their hope on 0259-S with Thanos’ headless body — everyone else had belonged to somebody. Cap and Nat had each other, and Nat had Banner and the arrow-guy. Rhodey had the rich guy who thought he was a genius, and the rich guy had that other redhead. Thor had maybe lost the most, but he had Banner too, and his buddies from Sakaar. The Dora Milaje had their whole sisterhood. Only Danvers might have been on her own — but as far as Rocket had been able to tell, Captain Marvel hadn’t seemed to have a lotta close ties she was mourning.

But Rocket — Rocket had nobody. 

Again.

Nobody except Gamora’s sister, whose name he’d kept forgetting.

Of course, there was the witch. 

Disproportionate number of redheads on this planet, he remembers thinking bemusedly.

He hadn’t been able to remember her name for a while either, but unlike everyone else on Terra, she’d seemed almost as alone as he was. And he hadn’t been able to help but watch her, his eyes slanting sideways to stare at her as she’d sat by herself across the room, hands anchored around upper arms. He couldn't make out the color of her eyes — they’d seemed impossibly dark, with rage or grief or something else, something haunted.  

Except for when they’d smouldered like furious banked fires. 

She’d never said a frickin’ word, either: face blank and beautiful as a statue’s. Her silence had felt more surreal than any other stupid thing he’d encountered in space, which he supposed was probably just because he’s spent the last four years with a family of weirdos who’d never seemed able to shut the fuck up. 

Still. He’d tilted his head when the other avengers had walked past her — watched as they’d seemed almost to forget she was even there. They’d barely talked to her, and once, when they’d been ordering lunch, they’d missed her entirely.

Uh — you didn’t ask the witch what she wants, Rocket had said to Nat awkwardly, and the assassin had blinked and her eyes had hunted the whole room before they’d finally focused on the other woman — like she hadn’t even known where her fellow-Avenger was. 

No. The witch had been an outcast. And Rocket has always known something about outcasts. His whole frickin’ family — both, some small part of his brain had tried to speak up before he could smother it; both families were made of the unwanted — his whole frickin’ family had been outcasts and misfits. It had made some part of Rocket’s heart suddenly stretch in his chest. It had reached with grasping fingers, trying to hang onto something he’d already known he’d lost.

Family.

The next day, Rocket had cleared his throat and told Gamora’s sister that he was gonna go starside to touch base with Kraglin on the Third Quadrant — to see if he still exists, he hadn’t said, but he’d been pretty sure the cyborg had picked it up. 

“You wanna come, Blue?” he’d asked — wincing when his nonchalance had been too thin to be believable. But the Luphomoid had inclined her head, eyes dark and steady. When that had been squared away ��� surprisingly a hell of a lot easier than he’d thought — he’d  shuffled to his feet, and headed to the bench outside the compound, where the witch had been sitting since sunrise.

He’d stood in her line of vision and stared at the sky too, shifting his weight uncomfortably from foot to foot, tail trying to tuck itself underneath him. It had probably been a full twenty minutes before he’d felt her eyes on him.

“I. Uh. I heard you lost your robot-boyfriend.” The words had been as clumsy as an orloni drunk on fermented Asgardian figs, but he’d been trying.

The witch’s eyes had flared, crimson-bright. “Robot?” she’d repeated dangerously.

Rocket’s ears had flicked back and he’d taken a step away, into the grass: hands extended, palms out.

“Hey, m’not trying to be a dick,” he’d protested. “I think I might be part-robot myself.” He’d stabbed a thumb over his shoulder toward the Benatar, where he could feel  his new blue companion staring holes in his back. “Gamora’s sister’s almost all-robot, too.” 

He could also feel the sister in question rolling her eyes. 

“M’just saying,” he’d muttered at both of them, hunching his shoulders and half-turning to kick a patch of grass. “Some of us are solo now.” He’d gestured at the cyborg again. “Might be good to stick together.” 

“I was used to being solo,” Nebs had pointed out, and Rocket had winced. “You’re the one who got attached.”

His ears had flattened. “Whatever,” he’d growled. “Just thought — whatever.” He’d spun again, kicking more grass, and muttered bitterly under his breath. “So much for trying to be the captain. So much for trying to look out for the damn strays.”

“You’re the stray,” Nebula had replied with a mutinous jut of her chin — and how the fuck had she heard him? That wasn’t standard Luphomoid hearing range. 

Rocket had cursed whatever aural implants Thanos had given her. 

Then the witch had made a strange sound behind him — a little huff of breath.  A disbelieving, agonized little shred of laughter.

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During a watch party for Avengers: Endgame on Twitter, Markus revealed the idea to team Wanda with the Guardian of the Galaxy captain actually made it into several versions of the film's script. "We had whole drafts with Wanda on a road trip with Rocket," Markus wrote, "but after the Vision plot in Infinity War, nothing we came up with was anything but wheel spinning for her character." CBR

[darkx-the-dragon-kn1ght]

Chapter 45- Part 11

Cain, your team is well-equipped for chess, you don’t need Xera’s help against Radomus, you’ll be fine.

Didn’t she…go into the front room with Luna right before Cain showed up…? I might have lost track of where people went, I was speeding through that pre-battle cutscene for my resets like you wouldn’t believe…

Oh…wait, don’t tell me this is some kinda ransom thing, no no no…

Light robe!? EL!? I SWEAR TO HECK-! My brain is so fried, I cannot handle a kidnapping plot right now-

Look at me, listen, read my words- you may have only had to read about my battles, and it might have taken you…five minutes? Maybe ten? But I had to play all of that, and let me tell you…my first Cain attempt started at about 11:30 AM, and my final victory happened at just a bit past 3 PM. So just about three and a half hours of nothing but trying to get past that one battle! I am so tired! I don’t need your bull too, El!!

Ignoring that, I…didn’t realize Radomus was the Vanhanen referred to in Vanhanen Castle, I thought that was just its historical name. Come to think of it…wasn’t there a gravestone in Beryl Cemetery who was also a Vanhanen?

So who was Zina? His wife? Daughter? Mother? Ancestor?

Geez! I knew El couldn’t be trusted, but even I didn’t think he’d go as far as to kidnap somebody…does Bennett know? Is he an (most likely unwitting) accomplice?

Do you…want El’s sincerity or love…?

Previous

Next

[poppitron360]

Fantastic addition.

What always gets me is that she was doing it completely on her own.

She couldn’t tell anyone that Leo was a demigod. She couldn’t ask for help. Hephaestus wasn’t around. What strength must it have taken to have all these fears, be unable to share them, and still raise your child with absolute love and devotion?

And that’s why I love diving deeper into the mortal parents of demigods. Because in order to attract the attention of a God, you must need to be AWESOME. And then to have the strength to raise a powerful child all on your own? Like imagine the panic attacks Esperanza would get when she saw Leo playing with other kids in the playground. Imagine the constant fear that if your toddler gets too excited someone might get hurt, or someone might at least know your secret. But she managed it, because she’s just that badass. And not every mortal parent can manage it (*cough cough* Beryl Grace)

Also, the “fighting in her name” thing is something I’ve thought about a lot. When Leo’s blasting Gaea and he shouts “This is for my mother, Esperanza Valdez!” I like to think that saying her name is what actually gave him the strength to finally defeat the Gaea. Because names have power, and the name of the mortal parents is sometimes just as powerful as the godly one. Because of how strong-willed, how kind, how awesome you had to be to attract a god, and raise a kid like that.

(Which is also why I love the line “He is Poseidon’s son” “I am Sally Jackson’s son” In the TV show)

Just somebody please give this woman a medal.

What must it have been like to be Esperanza Valdez?

Knowing that your son had been chosen by the gods to have these powers because he was important to the fate of humanity. Knowing he held the entire planet’s existence in the balance and he would either make or break the world. Knowing he had dangerous powers, and if he couldn’t learn to control it he could end up causing unimaginable death and destruction.

Being terrified for your boy, knowing you are bringing him up to fight in a war that could potentially get him killed, or at least suffer so much pain.

And also being terrified of your boy, not knowing if you’re bringing him up to fight on the right side.

The constant worry of if you’re raising him to die, or raising him to destroy the world, or raising him to be manipulated into a weapon for death. Wanting to do what’s right for your son, because he is your everything. He is all that you have.

What must it have been like that night in the machine shop, watching the smoke curl through the crack in the door, watching the flames rising up? Knowing that you’ve let him down. Knowing that you should’ve done more to protect him. Knowing that you should’ve shown him how to use his powers safely. Knowing of all the pain and suffering he will go through now, alone. Without you.

I’m sorry, mijo. I’ve failed you. I’m so sorry.

[turtlemagnum]

another incomplete and petty list???? really turtle??? guesss your really hitting bottom of the beryl now.....

yeah anyways here's shit about youtube thumbnails and the stuff surrounding that make me go "ew" and click not interested

column A: stupid lookin faces in the thumbnail. just some guy pulling something that'll then get turned into one of those stupid soyface memes, or somebody editing a character's face to look like that stupid imposter meme of that jeremy guy that people seem to like so much. i don't find it funny, in fact i actively find it obnoxious, and if i were still allowed to i'd report your videos for terrorism

title something like "You Won't Believe This....", too damn vague!!!! tells me NOTHING.... you think i'm just gonna be suckered in by something so fucking noncommittal and wishy washy? for the love of god, if you titled your video "i put my penis into a microwave just to see what would happen", i'd think it was dumb, but i'd still know what it was about so i'd be able to make a goddamn informed decision about what i'm fucking ignoring, you telling me nothing but the vaguest and blandest hint of intrigue just makes me intensely disinterested.

columbo 3, the channel is titled in a certain way, it's hard to give a concrete list of attributes but it's definitely a "you'll know it when you see it" kinda thing. names like "The Art of Learning" or "Trey The God" or "MemeMoonMan69" are pretty exemplary of the general most common archetypes, just painfully generic or self aggrandizing names that you could name literally anything and are virtually interchangeable

obnoxious voices, especially british voices, for the love of god just talk like a normal person instead of that Bullshit Announcer Voice That Sounds So Excited To Say EveryThing And Yells Every 10 Seconds To Make Sure The Babies In The Audience Don'T Click OFf

children. enough said

obnoxious britishness, i can tolerate the rare good brits but if i have to hear some johnny rotten soundin dickshitter whine on about ohhhhh god save the piddlywankas and the boys in red and oi doncha talk piss on the L85 ya fackin cunt i'll glass ye and shut up. just shut up.

omg yes i totally want to hear about the celebrity gossip with jairo and mellissa mccrompferspotnen and their breakup with jizzo and vumsch or whoever the fuck like god shut up i have literally never heard of any of these people and frankly, they're all probably insufferable. you couldn't pay me billions to even attempt to care about a single one of these shitstain cum snorting hogfuckers, the only rival of their intense lack of interestingness is their sheer vapidity and preening obnoxiousness

then there's videos where it's like OMG ARE YOU A REAL (bullshit societally constructed group, usually something pertaining to masculinity). i know i'm by no means the target audience for this shit, quite frankly my masculinity is about the only thing about me that isn't severely unstable, so your incessant pompous posturing about how much of a "real man" you are and whatever other shitty opinions you have that you're gonna try to pass off as objective facts are quite frankly, less interesting than dirt to me. literally, you ever fucking look at that shit???? it's got all sortsa neat little things in it, i could honest to god get significantly more enrichment playing in the goddamn dirt like a literal toddler than to spend even a picosecond paying a sliver of attention to you

the news. i am not going to watch goddamn fox news, i am not going to watch fox news via whatever foreign sounding alt accounts they have. that is all

omg did you hear about the drama between crumb and bookgum????? what about this thing that crockmunchher said about splorpo mcgoonsface??? who even are these people, you ask??? oh they play minecraft usually but also they sometimes play indie horror games and hey where are you going, i didn't even get to matchvvrangler's face reveal!!!!! no i don't care that you're an adult who hasn't played minecraft in years, you like gaming and this is gaming so you're sure to like it!!!!!

offensive memes from social media platform v287!!!!! ylyl cumpliation number 963!!!! my god how do you people know how to breathe, much less edit a goddamn youtube video together

hey did you wanna see a dead hog??? no??? well here's a dead hog anyways. what, you like guns, this channel does gun stuff, obviously you love seeing dead things since you like guns so much, and apparently dead fuckin animals with clear wounds in their face isn't violating any TOS!!!!

oh boy!!! i sure love sportsball, don't you!!!!! what's that???? you couldn't care less about sportsball even if it was the only entertainment left in a bizzare post apocalyptic world where everyone except you and sports fans are dead???? too bad buddy here's some news about the latest match of grown men in pajama shorts playing with balls!!!!!! it was a 0-0 match, isn't that fun!!?!?!?!?? aren't you entertained by watching jackass millionaires getting paid to frolic around in a plastic field for a few hours!!!!

[mzyrimworld]

Duster Part 11: Quadrum 11

Last time we lost a bunch of footage to a solar flare, but the colony gained a bunch of animals, converted prisoner Nobreitra, and Lion and Steroid got into the colony’s first relationship! Where will things go from there...?

With the base far more established, the colonists are getting back on the art to decorate people’s bedrooms. Henry and Priscilla are the main talents in this respect, and they have loads of stone blocks to use from hollowing out the mountain

There appears to be some kind of room in the southern part of the mountain, and the colonists have been hearing noises from inside. Our sources have told us that there can be dangerous things in rooms like this, which the colonists also seem to have heard, as they seem to be creating an entrance as limited and far from the base as they can...

Yes, the colonists certainly look prepared for a fight, as brawler Vas (who has a shield belt nowadays) goes in to break open the wall...

We can see inside! I see an implant, advanced components, some risky luciferium and... oh dear, we recognise a lancer from when Lisa died, and our sources tell me the other is a ‘scyther’, known for decapitating (parts of) people...! Are the colonists ready for this?

Those mechanoids move fast, Vas is barely outrunning them back to the firing line! Henry and Zeiph, two of the most important colonists, have backed up to a slightly safer distance...

The scyther has honed in on Morales (who wasn’t even supposed to be there!) and he is not holding up well - he better retreat to the hospital before he loses anything more vital than a finger...!

The scyther took a lot of hits, but it has been finished, in time for Morales to stay alive...

And Vas goes back in to take down the Lancer, shattering some key parts. Incredibly, everybody’s still alive!

Morales took a few more cuts and is downed, but the only thing he’s definitely lost is a finger, and hopefully he should have time to be taken to the hospital and get patched up...

Yup, Henry’s grabbed and tended to him, so saving infection the rest of his body should be alright, but it’s got to be awfully painful. If he never sees one of those things again, I’m sure it’ll be too soon.

That implant in the room turns out to be a painstopper, and I could see a fight breaking out over this! Doesn’t matter for now though, the colonists don’t have the scientific knowledge necessary for brain surgery like that would require.

Interesting timing, but good news: Steroid and Lion are planning to get married! I suppose you have to take what chances you get in this situation and on this planet; you never know how long either of you will survive!

And more good news: more huskies to keep Jethro company! Only one of them is female, but I could see more breeding happening. Still, Jethro’s been incredibly useful, so perhaps a few litters can help protect the colony...

They all have names too - where did they come from and what happened to their former owners? I can only assume nothing good... But one of those names is going to get confusing: turns out the only good Raider is a husky.

With the mechanoids out the way, the colonists decide to chance opening the pods in the room. They’re playing it safe with weapons; rumour has it sometimes mechanoids are stored in the pods as well...

They’re all human - but some of them are immediately pulling their weapons (or drugs)...?!

We don’t know why they’re attacking, but the colonists have no choice but to defend themselves! The attackers are very well equipped though...

Nobreitra’s lost an eye! And so soon after the archotech eye was given to Lion! He’s going to need to retreat and get treatment for that pretty quickly...!

Priscilla is dead! Her steel plate armour could not protect her head from all the gunfire! I can’t believe they made it through the mechanoids alive, only for somebody to be killed by the humans!

Zeiph comes to help and Vas has finished off a second of the attackers...

Even Dead had to be called in with her shield belt, the attackers were just too strong without melee.

They’re all dead now, with Zeiph managing to even shoot this one’s head off. I don’t understand why they immediately attacked on being freed? Were they imprisoned against their wills and assumed the colonists were their captors? We’ll probably never know...

Nobreitra made it to the hospital safely to be treated, but the colony’s going to have to find another eye for him somehow...

The colony gets a request for helpin the middle of this, but it’s really badly timed, and they’re not even offering any implants or prosthetics, so I doubt it’s going to happen...

Vas winds up in a bed next to where Morales is still recovering from the mechanoids, but Vas isn’t too badly injured. He’s actually mostly suffering with food poisoning.

And this is the way the room has been left, which also turns out to be the most convenient place to lay Priscilla to rest, though it needs some cleaning.

And Julio’s carved her a beautiful sarcophagus honouring her memory as a badass. Looks like it’s montage time...

*Pretty and mournful unlicensed music*

Priscilla Bellerose joined the colony on 10th of Septober 5501, about a year and a half ago. Three colonists died in the rescue (including young Beryl, who had just overcome his addiction), all for want of somebody who could do medicine, which unfortunately she couldn’t.

She had a big personality and a pretty face from her celebrity youth, but her biggest use to the colony was as part of the away team with her ex-lover Vas and medic Morales, completing quests and trades for the good of the colony. She wasn’t somebody you wanted to be up against in a fight.

In that year and a half she learned well and became very valuable to the colony with how passionate she was about nearly everything. It’s hard to believe she died to some angry and confused humans, but she did take an awful lot of bullets before she went down. If the colonists learn anything from this, hopefully it will be the need to get themselves some proper protective headgear.

Rest in peace, Priscilla Bellerose, c5452 - 5th Aprimay 5503. Hopefully your husband won’t hate the colony for your loss.

The colonists are going to have their own day of remembrance in a few days, assuming nothing goes too wrong in the meantime...

Anyway, back to business: a random buck decides to join the colony. Hopefully it will have better luck than the ibex ram, but I wouldn’t hold your breath...

Hmmm! The Leobrin of the Brook seems to finally be seeing sense in not sending its tribepeople to die against our colonists’ guns. Assuming it’s not an attempted trap, it sounds like a good idea to me!

But then this happens swiftly afterwards! And our colonists have yet to reject anybody fleeing in their direction...

We have a new thirteenth colonist! Hauke Pahl is a young man and not particularly skilled, but at least there’s nothing that he’s not willing to do around the colony...

And here come the tribespeople on his tail, all equipped with melee weapons. Only issue for the colonists is that it’s still early morning and not all of them are awake...

Of course there is the turret - or there was the turret. Most of them managed to back off before it exploded, but one of them was too close and has died already. Unfortunately the colonists don’t know how to build turrets themselves yet, so it’ll be a while before they can replace it.

Zeiph has been downed! You forget how much damage people can do, especially at close range. And he’s joined the other three earliest colonists in having an ear destroyed, though this is his left - seems the women lose the right and the men lose the left! Really need to get some replacement ears for our colonists, but hopefully now the other colonists are getting out of bed there won’t be any more body parts lost...!

With all the tribespeople down or dead, let’s survey the damage! This one went the same way as old Vladimir did - shredded apart by an exploding turret...

This one took too many bullets and stabs, though it’s not clear which one finished her...

But the other three have all been taken alive and stuffed into the prison cell with Frenchy, who doesn’t seem too impressed.

They’re all quite badly wounded though. This older man is apparently a healer, and you can never have too many of those...

This one’s a fighter, which the colony could really use after the loss of Priscilla...

This one doesn’t seem as good, but sometimes the colony needs to take what it can get.

The only colonist badly hurt was Zeiph, but except for his left ear he should be alright. I’m sure he’d like somebody to clean the hospital though; that’s not his vomit around the bed.

I think Vas likes to pretend he didn’t care about Priscilla since they broke up however long ago, but we’ve caught him sneaking in here alone to visit her resting place. Old feelings probably die hard.

And the colony gains its fourteenth colonist! Frenchy’s not that impressive in most ways, but he’s very good at social and very promising at intellectual! The colony hasn’t achieved a lot research-wise since leaving the last base, but perhaps that will change soon?

Back in the prison things aren’t looking so positive, as one of Val’s injuries, given by a husky, becomes infected. Just as well we have so many medics around...

And then the bullet wound in his shoulder gets infected too! Just as well the colonists want a fighter, if they’re going to be this much trouble! At least he’s in a clean new bed now.

Unfortunately with all the excitement the colonists never got around to cleaning up this chamber before Priscilla’s funeral. Still, most of them went to hang out and chat about old times. Vas stayed away, given that he’s already visited and probably still wanting to appear like he didn’t care...

The next day perhaps tensions were running high, as there was perhaps the first ever social fight in this colony! I’m not sure Sky should be taking on Nobreitra...

But Sky won! To the point of pulling his pistol on Nobreitra! There’s no way the colony would let murder slide, he better put that away!

Away from that drama, our hopes have come true! The colonists finally learnt how to make a more sophisticed research bench, and used an old AI core they got from a quest to learn how to make a multi-analyser too! Perhaps they can learn to make their own prosthetics now...?

With things calmed down, a party is formed to go to those peace talks, with Frenchy and his social skills replacing Priscilla in the away party form, for this quest at least.

One of the good things about the hospital is that after fights like that one, colonists are forced to spend time together without being able to fight again. Hopefully Sky and Nobreitra can settle their differences and prevent it happening again.

Excellent! No more raids from Leobrin of the Brook, for now at least! Shame that those Combat Society pirates probably aren’t open to such negotiations...

This isn’t new, but most of the old footage was lost in the solar flare; the alpacas especially are very much inbreeding, to a bit of an unsettling degree. The one named alpaca is this baby’s nephew, uncle and cousin...

Buck 1 has gained a proper name now too! Would have been more useful for one of the animals of which the tribe has plenty, but I guess this buck just has more personality...

Sigh, the prisoners are trying to break out weaponless despite how easily they were beaten when they were armed. We’ll see if they even make it through this alive...

Well I suppose there’s some justice in the head plotter getting most badly injured, with a permanent injury to his brain. I can’t tell how badly this might affect his abilities, but you would assume it would to some degree?

This one’s bleeding more, but probably not as permanent. ... I missed which colonist bit her right leg - Henry has a melee weapon, so I assume not her? Strange.

This one’s had a kidney outright destroyed, but he wouldn’t be the first colonist to have that problem, he can live with just one. Hopefully they’ll all learn from this.

We’re late to another raid, this time by the Combat Society! The colonists got word ahead of time and ambushed them near the edge of the map. One of them’s already dead near the top there, but this is more people than the colonists have ever faced so far...

The animals are on hand, but it’s the bullets that have been doing the real damage so far...

The fight is won, but one of the raiders - the weakest probably - manages to flee faster than the colonists can catch her. I expect she’ll tell their bosses what happened, which may not be a good thing.

This one died mostly thanks to a husky...

This one took too many shots to the torso and internal organs...

This one took a lot of shots as well, including to the spine...

This one took a mix of bullets and husky attacks...

This one is still alive right now, but that’s not nearly enough time to get her back to the base and treated, so she will die shortly.

The boar did its best but really only wound up getting hurt, including a stab to the heart! The colonists look set to do their best to save her in time.

Jethro got beaten up once again, but he’s taken worse in the past and did very good work.

Raider the husky took worse, but again hopefully none of that should be permanent damage.

Not all threats to the colony are human, but at least electric shorts like this are easily put out.

Another incest baby alpaca is born. Hopefully these will tail off now that the male and female animals are fairly separated; the colony only needs so many.

And just before the quadrum ends, a random hare loses it and chases Julio around the base. This is why I will never understand the complete pacifism - when you can’t even put down something a tenth of your size that won’t stop biting you. Fortunately Hauke’s nearby with a machine gun, and Julio is saved from the monstrous small animal...

Final Stats!

Henry: Doing a lot of medicine lately

Jethro: Beaten up again

Zeiph: Lost an ear

Dead: Studying ferociously for prosthetics

Lion: Engaged!

Vas: Totally not sad or anything about losing his ex-lover

Lucya: So quiet you wouldn’t know she’s there

Sky: Proud of winning a fight against a bigger guy

Priscilla: Dead v.v

Morales: Lost a finger

Julio: All bitten up by a mean bunny rabbit :(

Eri: Cleaning in the background

Steroid: Engaged!

Nobreitra: Lost an eye, and a fight

Hauke: Rescued!

Frenchy: Converted!

Colony: Lost one colonist, gained two, gained three prisoners, and several animals.

[freezing-kaiju]

Survivors of Shards

CHAPTER 18: IN WHICH SOMEBODY TELLS US (PERSPECTIVE SWITCH: Alabaster)

written with @apollowuzhere @irazel @grilledwatermelon

It took us nearly eight hours to arrive at the stupid car town. The whole place seemed centered around cars. Weird modified ones, but cars nonetheless. Why bother with cars when you could turn into a giant bird? I landed down next to where the others stopped, turning back to my regular form and analyzing the area.

There seemed to be very few threats, and the office of the town’s mayor was quite close by. Easy to hold hostage, if it came to that. There were also a few humans around, messing with their cars. Wait.

I looked closer at one of the people working on a car. That wasn’t a human. That was a fellow gem. An agate from the look of it. What the hell was an agate doing here? And why were they working on a car of all things?

“That’s a gem over there, right?” I asked the group, who were getting out of our car. Slowpokes.

“Yeah,” the Jasper remarked. “An agate. Not a type I’ve seen before.”

“Nice car,” Bismuth remarked.

“I think we should go talk to them,” I said. “Technically, as an agate, they automatically have a higher ranking than any of us.”

The two of them gave each other a sidelong glance and shrugged. “Sure, boss.”

“Ugh, great,” Calcite grumbled, “someone for Al to ogle over and boss us around.  Sounds fantastic.”

“Watch over the others. I won’t be long,” I said, before heading toward the agate.

The agate was bent over a car hood, tightening something with a wrench. She straightened up and wiped some sweat off of her brow.  

“Hello,” I said, trying to get the Agate’s attention without seeming disrespectful.

She turned around casually and flipped up her sunglasses. “Howdy.”

“My name’s Alabaster,” I introduced. It sounded like this was one of those earth gems. Not that this made them any lower ranking. “I would die for you.”

“Uhh...” Suddenly she looked uncomfortable. She took a step back and stammered, “Well I uh...your proposal is...sweet, I guess...but...sudden...sorry, who are you? You an albino or somethin’? ”

“My name is Alabaster, as I mentioned before,” I said, trying to explain without being rude. “I’m a gem, like you.”

“Ah. There’s...more of me? Thought ah was just a freak or somethin’. Name’s Motor Agate.”

“Yeah. I’ve got a whole group back there,” I gestured toward our car. “Technically, you’re our leader now, so anything you need help with, we’re here."

“I never agreed to that!” Calcite yelled from the van.

“Um...okay...is there anyone else I can talk to?”

“Yeah, though we are here to fight some green people in a forest or something,” I said. “I don’t quite understand why they’re a problem, but we need the money so we’re going to try and get it over with quickly. Still, we have more than enough time, if you want to speak with the crew.”

“Oh, the ogres? Yeah, kill em. They’re assholes.”

“As you command,” I agreed, bowing my head slightly.

“Fucking nerd!”  I glared in Calcite’s direction. No matter. It wasn’t a priority to protect her anymore. I made a note to have her pay for the comment if she got in the way in the future.

“Whatever,” she mumbled. “Y’all got room in your...wherever y’all live? I live in my car so...if yall got a place fer me to stay I’ll be fine.”

“Of course,” I replied. “We’d be happy to provide shelter and anything else you need. It is about eight hour’s travel away, but you should be fine. I’m sure your car is more than capable of making the journey.”

“Heheh. Yep!” She grinned. “Gimme yer address when yer done, I’ll come after the big race.”

“Address?” Were we supposed to have one of those?

“Or directions if ya don’t have one.”

“Did you see the giant hand fall from the sky?” I asked. “Because that was us. We haven’t moved since. Though we probably should. It’s not a very secure location.” The top of a hill with open countryside on one side and forest on the other wasn’t the best scenario for us to be in. A cliff on the other hand… I could do some good work with a cliff. Unless the enemy used something to obscure our vision. And I had gotten carried away again. I really should stop thinking about battle strategy during conversations.

“Oh. Okay.”

“Well, it’s been a pleasure meeting you,” I said. “We should probably go deal with those ogres now, as you ordered. If you need anything, just ask.”

She nodded and resumed working on the car. I turned away and headed back toward the group, with a feeling that I had somehow messed up, even though I had followed the general etiquette.  Beryl even floated over to speak with her quickly when I left.  I could have sworn I heard the word “sorry.”

Everything was fine at the car, with none of the worst case scenarios having happened in my absence.

“Are we all ready to take off? From what I gathered from my conversation with the agate over there, we’re in for a fight.”

“Alright.” Zebra Jasper reached into her gem and pulled out a large, black-and-white-striped, flat, serrated bat. The Bismuth did likewise, withdrawing a rainbow-patterned sledgehammer.  Calcite brought out a whip that split into two, and Beryl brought out two kamas, throwing one to the other hand.  Willa decided to wait to retrieve their daggers.  Obsidian was a weapon.

“Who wants to take point? They’re probably going to draw most of the fire from whatever we’re fighting,” I asked, knowing full well that none of them would follow any combat strategy I proposed.

“Um….I could probably do it,” Willa suggested nervously.

“Why not?” I agreed. Willa was as good a candidate as any of the others. Besides, they had stabbed me. It wouldn’t be the worst thing if they took most of the hits.

They looked completely shocked.  “R-really?  A-are you s-sure?”

“It’s hard to mess up walking in front of the group. You’ll do fine.”

“Y-yes, alright.”  They took off ahead with their head down to watch the roots.

I turned into a giant bird once again, to scout ahead and keep an eye on the group from above. I’d have to go down and defend them once fighting broke out, but might as well have some eyes from above for the time being.

After a few minutes of wandering around in the forest, there was a movement in the bushes right in front of the group. A low sound, like singing, emitted from the darkness.  I heard like the word “some.”  Before any of us could react, 5 huge green humanoids jumped out of the bushes, dressed in odd clothing carrying musical instruments.

“BODY ONCE TOLD ME,” they screeched simultaneously.  “THE WORLD WAS GONNA ROLL ME.”

“I AIN’T THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED,” Obsidian joined in. How the hell did she know what came next?

Willa didn’t wait for the song to finish.  They blasted frost in front of the group, building a five foot ice wall between us and the ogres.

I dove down, turning into a bear on the ground in front of them and biting at one of them. They were a bit tougher than anything else we had faced at that point and surprisingly didn’t die almost immediately.

Calcite came flying over the wall, whips ablaze, and slashed at every one of them.  A few got hit, but not all of them.  Then someone threw Obsidian like some sort of ninja star, stabbing three ogres.

Jasper swung her bat at an ogre, making contact but accidentally grazing herself with one of the sharp ends of the bat. Bismuth kneecapped one of them.

Beryl took to the sky and, in an instant, shot back down towards the battle.  She sliced her kamas through two of the ogres, wounding them badly.  They fell to the ground and held their bleeding sides.

That didn’t stop them though.  They beat on Willa’s wall, and Willa tried to fight back, building places up and trying to keep them back.  Unfortunately, when Willa got close to fix a particularly large gap, an ogre slammed them with their hammer into their back, sending them flying.  The wall shrank a great deal without the extra help.

Obsidian’s leg was stuck deep in the ground, so Calcite took it upon herself to punch the living daylights out of the ogre closest to the trapped gem.  There were a few craters in the ground along with a few in the ogre’s skull after the little encounter, but it did a number on them, and, once free, Obsidian joined in adding stab wounds to the party.

I slashed at the ogre again, my claws managing to find its throat. As it fell to the ground, I turned on the ogre next to me, biting at it. It managed to block and throw me on my back. My spikes were stuck in the ground. Again. Why did this keep happening?

Zebra Jasper lunged forward, smacking an ogre with the flat side of her spiked bat. Bismuth took initiative, flattening one of the ogres’ faces in with her hammer.

“WE DONE HERE?” Bismuth yelled.

Obsidian, unlike the others, seemed to be having an amazing time.  She had been freed from her spot in the ground and was running around demolishing every ogre in sight.  She was even smiling slightly while she stabbed them.

“HEY NOW,” she screamed while she impaled one ogre.  “YOU’RE AN ALL STAR.” Down went another.  “GET YOUR GAME ON.” And another.  “GO.”  Stab. “PLAY.” Dead.

With one punch from Calcite, the last ogre was wrecked into oblivion.  She dusted herself off and laughed.

“Well that was fun,” she said.  She walked over to help a struggling Willa up.  That hit had done a bit of a number on them, but they seemed like they’d be alright.

Obsidian continued dancing around, yelling the lyrics to whatever song they had been playing.

“Alright. That’s done,” I said, shifting to my normal form and dusting off my hands. “Now let’s get back home. There’s more work to be done.”

“Come on Obsidian!” Calcite called.

“ONLY SHOOTING STARS BREAK THE MOOOOOLD!” Obsidian screeched her big finish and hopped into the van.

With everyone inside, we drove off back to base.  I couldn’t believe I was trapped in the van with these idiots for another eight hours.

[raspberyl-system]

1 to 4?

1) How many system members are there?

(Egil)We don’t have an official full count, but there are 107 regular beryls, 16 named facets, a number of unnamed and uncounted facets and baby beryls and there have been 19 temporary fusions.

2) Youngest member? Oldest?

(Egil)Among claimed ages, Bee is the youngest, at 7, and Mako is the oldest, at 48. Some of the Littles, including Jo, Kyuubi and Piglet, are likely younger than Bee. Many of the non-human beryls would claim ages of several thousands years, with some even saying they are “as old as the universe itself”.

4) Any relationships within the system?

(Joseph)well, kids, me and Egil are a thing. and we might be adding Otieno to the mix for a triad.Zacharias is a huge player and is currently playing Jade like a fiddle. everybody can see it but her.Mara and D-Void are married with children at this point. hilarious, since none of us thought either were capable of feeling love. seems they just hadn’t found the right demon yet.aleXeb and his group might have a poly qpp thing going, but nobody really knows.Aria and Thiegwen are in a triad with Alice of the Davis system.Lyndis and Florina are… are they married? am i supposed to know these things? i was not the best beryl to answer this question… they have a child on the way with Razien, either way. god, these things get confusing.Katherine and Quinsel are girlfriends, raising Katherine’s kid, Joseph jr.Sombra and Lúcio are in an open relationship, i think?Naki and Mayoi… uh… are they still together? i should have picked another question…Helvetica Nix and Moana used to be a thing. then Moana left to go exploring with Roshan… is that everyone? i hope so. somebody else will expand if i missed something, i guess.

3) Any friendships within the system?

(Nabi)the old fronting team (Shauni, Egil, myself, Jade and Joseph) are all really close. Joseph and me are bffs. the littles have split up in besties duos or trios. Bee/Wisp, Cookie/Blob, No. 7/Link/Piglet, Mysleila/Kyuubi. nobody gets left out, though. they all play together. well, Jo gets left out, but they’re new and has barely been around. and Isabelle, who spends most of her time with Sombra, for some reason.Verðandi, Urðr and Skuld only hang with each other, but i don’t think they’re… friends, exactly.Zoë and Katherine exchange parenting and baking tips.Zhou Tai, Lyndis, Golden, Thiegwen, Razien, Crescent, Lyarra, Luna, Em, Cynthia I and Aria uh… spar regularly. does that make them friends? fuck if i knew.aleXeb, Vieno, Atmina, Iris, Fleur, Manika and Lilith make up what the rest of us call “the weed gang”. you can probably imagine what they get up to. Sasha is trying to pull Fleur out of it. no clue how that’s going.Jade, Heliodor, Agnes and Zach hang whenever Zach fronts the subsys.not sure about the rest. why did the two of us get the “relationship” and “friendship” questions?

(Joseph)beats me. they were the next in line, i guess?

[gramilano]

Dancing Times has opened up the last 20 years of its archives to all until 7 April.

The monthly magazine has its think pieces, reviews, articles about technique, dance’s past and present, but I always head first to the interviews. Here are some tidbits I’ve come across, and I’ve only just scratched the surface. Read while you can via this link.

When interviewing Monica Mason in 2006, Gerald Dowler asked her in what ways the company had changed:

We have some dancers throughout the ranks who are capable of great virtuosity, who excel at the flashy stuff and this company was never famous for that. Ashton liked certain things: Wayne Sleep was a virtuoso and Fred choreographed for him; Dowell had a real ability to dazzle with his speed, but never at the expense of line or musicality. They were never as “flash” as some today; we have several people who can do multiple fouettés, which we would only have dreamt of doing; when Rudolf arrived, although he was never virtuosic in that way, he did things we couldn’t do and influenced us; Sylvie arriving and putting her legs in extraordinary places meant that others said “I can do that and maybe I’ll be allowed to”. You can’t keep the doors locked and the curtains drawn – if people said that everything was exactly as it was in 1952 it would be terrible!

Dancing Times May 2006

Dancing Times July 2007

Dancing Times January 2008

Dancing Times September 2009

In 2007, Roberto Bolle talked about rehearsing with Darcey Bussell for the last time:

I am very sad that she is retiring – as we rehearse now I am thinking that it will be the last time, and I am very sad. We have a beautiful relationship both as dancers and as people. That has helped because the atmosphere between us is great and we know each other very well. I will miss her, and it’s a shame because she is in such good shape – I have never seen a ballerina retire in such good shape! I have tried to persuade her but there is nothing we can do.

The same year, Nadine Meisner interviewed Alexei Ratmansky in Milan when the Bolshoi was performing in the city:

Out of the 20 ballets created on the company during his directorship so far, only three are by him… “I don’t think the Bolshoi should be the company of one choreographer. Also, as a choreographer I have a group of dancers I like to use, but as a director I have to find ballets that use the rest of the company.”

That means nurturing in-house choreographers. “It’s a difficult task because for decades only one star [Yuri Grigorovich] dominated the repertoire and this really affected other choreographers’ minds. But now that the Maryinsky and the Bolshoi and other theatres are widening their repertoires, sooner or later new choreographic talents will appear and flourish. A choreographer finds stimulation from his experience as a dancer and a spectator, I think. And from this he can evolve his own style. So the more he sees and experiences, the more interesting his style will be.”

There is a revealing interview with Tamara Rojo by Gerald Dowler in the January 2008 issue:

It is a mark of Tamara Rojo’s unstoppable drive that when interviewed after a long day’s rehearsals, she is as engaged and emphatic as she would be if fully rested. There is a clear dynamism about the woman, which first led her to leave her native Spain…

…Rojo gives the impression that she will be at The Royal Ballet for just as long as she feels she needs to be – she is in far too much of a hurry to achieve her goals. What could they be? “Maybe to direct a company; I have ideas and opinions which I think I have with good reason”.

Four years later, she took over at English National Ballet. Dowler interviewed Alina Cojocaru in 2009, the following year. He asked,

You have been with The Royal Ballet for ten years and are in demand all over the world. Why have you stayed?

AC: It is a good home, although guesting with many different companies in the world means coming back enriched by the experience: through working with different dancers, teachers, productions one can learn and develop as an artist. This place is special because of the people I stand next to at the barre every morning; they are the soul of this place.

And in 2013, she joined Rojo at ENB.

Dancing Times December 2009

Dancing Times October 2010

Dancing Times April 2014

Dancing Times December 2018

Also in 2009, Dowler asked Federico Bonelli about his affinity with the repertoire at The Royal Ballet:

The repertoire here is one of the greatest plus points about the company – Ashton, MacMillan, the classics and new work; it works! The company has taught me the importance of telling a story on stage, which has added another dimension; theatre in the UK is very much about narrative. My brother back in Italy is an actor, and it has been great for me to develop that side, and to evolve as an artist.

The cover for Dancing Times’ 100th Anniversary Edition in 2010 featured The Royal Ballet’s Lauren Cuthbertson as Sylvia, her comeback role after many months away after undiagnosed glandular fever. Zoë Anderson – who had just become the magazine’s Assistant Editor – asked her if there was pressure in being the company’s only British female principal (Francesca Hayward and Yasmine Naghdi have since joined her):

It’s a mixture of things. I think it’s treasured, in some ways. To be honest, it feels like it doesn’t matter. You have to accept that it’s a very international company, it always has been. It is lovely to highlight that there’s somebody who’s been through our system – that you can get to this level, it can be achieved. Otherwise, what’s it all for? I’m really proud to say I’ve gone all the way through. But I don’t think it’s seen to be a great thing to be a British principal. I don’t know whether those days have gone – everything is so international now.

The following year, Anderson interviewed Dame Beryl Grey:

Characteristically, [Ninette] De Valois soon decided that her new dancer’s original name, Beryl Groom, wouldn’t do. “The first week, I was doing class, and she walked in and said ‘Groom! I’m changing your name to Grey, unless you can think of a better name. Right, it’s Grey.’ You can imagine, little me, with all these older dancers, going puce. I didn’t dare say anything. Later, she had this bee in her bonnet, she wanted me to be called Iris. I hate the name Iris! Fortunately Evelyn Leith, the press officer, didn’t like it either. I said, ‘Miss Leith, please, I don’t want to be called Iris Grey! ‘So she battled it out, and I remained Beryl Grey.”

In 2011, Gerald Dowler asked Mara Galeazzi, former principal at The Royal Ballet, about the young Italian teenager arriving in rainy London:

I wasn’t bothered by the cold and the rain, because I was so excited to be here. Because I had lived in a boarding school since the age of ten, I knew I had the independence, even if I ended up crying every morning – I was a mummy’s girl too! But I wasn’t scared – I took a vocabulary book and learned words every day, and the people in the company all helped me out; they were amazing. I learned English in three months living with a lovely English lady who was very particular about my language. It was a shock, but I loved the experience, and the fighting to succeed.

When Akram Khan turned 40 in 2014, Paul Arrowsmith talked to him about how he discussed his ideas with the cast:

They need to understand the impulses of a piece so they have an emotional engagement. Dancers need to understand the psychology of what they are embodying. That influences how they move. If dancers feel it, then audiences feel it. Everybody can believe – any of those figures could be me.

Zoë Anderson interviewed Marianela Nuñez in 2016 and asked her whether she watched videos of her performances:

I do. I look at it and – ” she groans – “but I look at it to perfect myself. I face it, and I can take it. It’s like medicine: it doesn’t taste good, but you know it’s good for you! Obviously, we have people looking at us, advising us, you take that and you process it, but when you really see it, you think, ‘Oh, OK, I get it now.’ It’s an extra help.”

Dowler talked to Matthew Ball in 2018, asking him if it was liberating to ‘carry’ a show:

In a way, very much so. Some may feel constrained, but I feel that having the responsibility allows me to set the tone and gives me the freedom to play with the part. In the corps, you have to be in time with everyone else, but as the lead, it is very different. As Rudolf, you know you have a number of counts to crawl over to the chair and inject yourself with morphine, but how you do that is left to you – if you need to be told, maybe you are not in the right job! That freedom is what makes the whole thing live, just like the synergy between you and your partner, as well as the connection with the audience. Being the lead allows you to be responsive and spontaneous.

With over 200 copies to browse through, there are a similar number of interviews, thousands of reviews, and many authoritative articles. A search feature will let you quickly find what you are looking for. Thank you Dancing Times.

Free reading from Dancing Times – the complete archive is available from 2000 Dancing Times has opened up the last 20 years of its archives to all until 7 April.

[yogaadvise]

Why Can`t I Do Yoga Alone?

I've been mosting likely to yoga exercise classes for Twenty Years. I've taken course in studios, fitness centers, and yoga exercise centers, obviously, however I have actually additionally done Downward Pet squashed against a sofa in somebody's den and also in a church basement with dirt rabbits rolling by like tumbleweeds. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I took prenatal yoga. When we were homeschooling with a team of households, I prepared yoga exercise courses for the parents throughout the youngsters' carolers rehearsals. I have actually been understood to drive 45 mins out of my means, strain my budget, and also adjust my schedule like among those crazy-making moving puzzles, just so I could get myself on a mat before an instructor, surrounded by others with the same intention, with nowhere else to be and also absolutely nothing else to do for those 90 minutes.

But, in all then, I have never ever done a complete yoga exercise practice at home, on my very own. Not even once.

Yoga-wise (as well as or else), I'm no cover version. My Crow Position gets on one leg rather than flying, and also I'm pretty sure that I'll never ever cross Headstand off my container checklist. But place me in a class with the guidance of an instructor and also the energetic support of the yogis around me, as well as I could do greater than I think I can do. I really feel strong, focused, certain, as well as engaged.

The few times I've unrolled my mat in your home, however, I'm virtually quickly burnt out and also exhausted-trapped in some mix of alternative paralysis and complete absence of inspiration. Plainly, the action of willpower that I make use of to get myself out the door to class is not equivalent to the task of pressing me through a solitary Sunlight Salutation right below in my very own residence. That makes sense, when I think of it: As a freelancer, I count completely on deadlines to motivate me-I literally could not create till the l lth hour. As soon as I start, however, the words circulation. The yoga exercise does not. Nobody cares if I obtain it done. Nobody is paying me for it. I'm not paying anyone else for it. Why does it matter? If Tree Pose is exercised in a living room with no one else around, does it make an impact?

I recognize, from my own experience as well as an enhancing body of clinical research on yoga's advantages, that the solution to that concern is of course. Still, there's a flexibility as well as launch I feel when I offer up psychological control and also give up to another person's assistance. And also yogis have known for life that something magical occurs when individuals move, take a breath, or practice meditation in sync. It's a result in some cases called entraining-when a group's energy aligns, enhancing the emphasis as well as understanding in the area. (A yoga exercise educator might call it 'elevating the vibration.')

' In India, in the Krishnamacharya custom, asana was constantly exercised at the yoga exercise shala-it wasn't suggested to be done alone at house,' claims Beryl Bender Birch, creator and director of The Hard & The Soft Yoga Institute. 'It was maded with your teacher daily, at the yoga school.'

Stephen Cope, a therapist, yoga instructor, and writer of The Magnum opus of Your Life: An Overview for the Trip to Your Real Calling (amongst various other books), concurs that the concept of contemplative method as traditionally a solitary experience is incorrect. 'In the cultures of [yoga exercise's] origin, reflective technique was always embedded in a surround of social relationships-the village, the people, or the ashram,' he says.

From an emotional point of view, Cope claims, the ease with which we practice alone versus in a team could depend upon our accessory record, which returns to our household of origin. For those with 'unconfident add-on,' it's easier to practice with a team, so you could be 'alone' in the presence of others, he claims. 'Yoga exercise is a kind of play, and you need to really feel risk-free and safely had to play,' he describes. 'For many individuals, myself included, the only method to get into a deep encounter is to feel consisted of within the context of a team. I enjoy doing yoga exercise in courses, yet ignore a solo method for me-it's just never mosting likely to happen.'

I entirely connect to that statement, however I likewise consider myself as one of the most safely affixed individuals I understand. For help unraveling that paradox, I relied on the yoga exercise educator who knows me best-my mommy, Carole Weinstein, who's certified in both Kripalu and also Mindfulness Yoga exercise as well as has actually been educating yoga and reflection because 2002. Her concept: Routines are hard to break, possibly specifically for active individuals. 'Your possibility when you go to house is to deal with all the 9 million traits you have to do,' she told me. 'It's truly tough to change the pattern you have actually developed in your life of relocating from one item of interest to the following, as well as simply be here currently.'

The good news is that I have actually handled to likewise develop a pattern of going to yoga course, where what my mom called 'the energy and enigma of the sangha' take control of. Amongst the 'three jewels' of Buddhist mindfulness teachings-buddha (awakening), dharma (the path, or teachings), as well as sangha (a community of like-minded specialists)-' the Buddha showed that one of the most important was sangha,' she said. 'We belong to a 2,500-year-old tradition of gathering with each other to exercise.'

To work with my resistance to doing yoga exercise alone in the house, my mom suggested that I place on songs I enjoy, present my mat, and simply see just what happens. Other pointers I've heard: Discover a few yoga exercise video clips you like and also rotate amongst them. Make a room in your residence where you can leave your mat unrolled, so all you have to do is step on it and also go. Determine you'll do simply seven mins of yoga, then you could quit (but you'll typically do even more). Establish a practice time that fits your schedule, so you could construct a practice of practicing at the exact same time every day or every couple of days. None of these has helped me yet, however they're all great ideas.

My DP (that's cohabitant, and also, comfortably, his initials) frequently meditates, but never ever does asana, in course or at residence. When he heard I was blogging about my resistance to house technique, he unfolded my floor covering for me and pretty much led me to it by the hand, insisting that I needed to check out exactly just what was holding me back. He even did a few stretches together with me, which aided me notice that helping and also instructing him was even more fascinating to me than sinking right into my very own technique. As quickly as he left me on my very own, I faltered-but I did take care of a number of Sun Salutations and a back twist before I called it a day. As well as indeed, it did feel good.

So exactly how vital is it to have a residence method? Mom says it's important for her as a yoga teacher, since that's where she makes the discoveries that inform and enliven her training. When it comes to the remainder people, Bender Birch states an individual house method is necessary, however that it doesn't have to be an asana technique. 'There are several means to 'exercise' yoga besides doing asana-meditate, breathe, chant, scrub floors, study the yoga exercise messages,' she states. 'It has to do with being regular in your application.' If you do pick to do asana, she notes that no certain design offers itself to a house technique much better than other. 'Just what asana system you do doesn't matter, as long as it is authentic and also it 'works," she states. 'Patanjali simply related to asana as 'technique' for reflection.' Which opens up an entire 'nother can of worms-namely, that reflection bench hidden completely in the back of my closet.

[nofomoartworld]

The Lost 80s Feminist Animation You've Never Seen

Beryl is a quiet housewife who secretly dreams of being whisked away to a desert island by a hunky hero. For her birthday, her rowdy, roistering friends take her on a night out to the local pub, where a spotlight falls onto a male stripper, waggling toned, thonged butt cheeks in her face, and before she knows it, the thong has pinged off and Beryl is a new woman. Played out in jiggling scribbles and bouncing brightness, she's the lead of Girls Night Out, a short animation that pushes women and their desires firmly to the forefront.

"She's a real anti-heroine. Everybody thinks she's just a round, nice mum. But she says, 'Fuck it, I'm going to be somebody!'" says Beryl's creator, Joanna Quinn, who made the animation while at Middlesex university in the late '80s. "At some point during the first year, I realised I felt more comfortable drawing men. Probably because, if you look around, they are always the protagonists. So I challenged myself to draw more women," Quinn tells Creators. At the time, male strippers were becoming a popular form of entertainment, and she decided to make this the subject of her film, visiting a "very dodgy pub in Elephant and Castle" to see what all the fuss was about, accompanied by friends, who were apparently suddenly very eager to help with her research.

Film still, Girls Night Out, 1987. Courtesy Beryl Productions.

"I was really shocked!" Quinn says, of the experience. Instead of shying away from the oiled-up hunk in front of them, the all-female audience were all in the front row, edging their seats closer to get a better look, or helping the performer rub baby oil onto his chest. This atmosphere of unabashed, squealing enjoyment of sexual desire pervades Girls Night Out: Beryl, egged on by her friends, finds herself pinging off the raunchy leopard-print thong of the Adonis in front of her, before returning to her moody, mute husband on the sofa at home. It's a testament to how free women can be in public spaces when they are given a license to not be objects of desire themselves.

"I didn't want to make just a cartoon that would be forgotten, full of gags… I started doing research and going to screenings and stuff, and that's when I realized how many sexist films there were. And it was sort of acceptable because it was a cartoon, so 'don't take it seriously!'" This wouldn't do for Quinn, who remembers the late 80s as a politicized time, with a strong movement against Margaret Thatcher's government. The animator name checks feminist magazine Spare Rib as an influence at the time.

Storyboard for Girls Night Out, 1987. Courtesy Beryl Productions.

When the film was finished—voiced in both Welsh language and Welsh-accented English— Girls Night Out began to attract attention from film festivals internationally, winning three prizes at the 1987 Annecy animation film festival. "I suddenly saw where my film fit in (or didn't)… There were hardly any other feminist films at all. There were some other women filmmakers, but not that many politically feminist," says Quinn.

Everything in Girls Night Out bounces with subversive, bubbling vivacity. The animation vibrates with its hand-drawn scribbles, making the film immediate and intimate in a way that can often be missing in films with slicker technology—something that has only increased since Quinn has been working in animation. Quinn has tried out tech accessories, such as Cintiq, that streamline her hand-drawn animation process, but has found herself drawn again and again to the tactility of pen and paper. "The physical thing of drawing makes me happy," she smiles. It's a shame that, even though it has been 20 years since she drew Beryl, the progress in technology has not been matched by progress in diversity: "The industry has changed completely in terms of technology, but in terms of jobs for women it hasn't changed at all," she sighs.

Film still, Girls Night Out, 1987. Courtesy Beryl Productions.

Quinn always intended Beryl to be a feminist anti-hero. Domesticity and motherhood has a difficult place in feminism's fight for equality: women who choose to remain in the place the patriarchy assigned them are sometimes sidelined. But what Beryl's fighting spirit illustrates so beautifully is the toughness that women are capable of, even (and especially) those we might write off as being "just" mothers or housewives. "There's a lot of my mum in her," Quinn says. "She didn't look like that at all, but she had that humor and strength, and never moaned about holding down two or three jobs."

Beryl spawned further films over the years, and the ballsy Cardiff mum evolved from a spectator at a male strip show, to a unionizing factory worker, to an aspiring artist. Quinn has noticed how much women relate to her character. "That's what animation is good at. People will recognize themselves or a type and then you can twist it. You've got your audience hooked. You realize that there are Beryls all over the world!"

Film still, Girls Night Out, 1987. Courtesy Beryl Productions.

Courtesy Beryl Productions.

Learn more about Girls Night Out on Beryl Productions International Ltd's website.

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