#me when the people who follows my blogs content get shot with random post every few days

[groovygladiatorsheep]

Hey y’all ! Request, again, because the prologue is being sketched out and it might take a bit,

Which fusions between Sanses would y’all potentially like to see ? I’m not saying I’d doodle that but…

[psalacanthea]

Blog Nutritional Info

General Content Warning: 21+, marijuana, alcohol, sex (I never post sexually explicit writing without a cut to hide it), blood but not real gore, bones and monsters and bats. Spiders maybe rarely but my friend hates them so I avoid it. I'll talk about what I feel like, and post what I want to.

For Dragon Age Posting, see @thefailguard

Most of my writing is adult writing, for adults. Content warnings are provided in the fics. Don't feel obligated to stay following me just because you read, I post a lot of recipes and random-ass crap, and that's not for everyone.

Bluesky: psalacanthea

I do:

Have an open ask box policy. Its current state is:

every Sunday I do free three card spread tarot drawings through ask, public or private at our mutual discretion.

am currently accepting prompts or requests about OCs, but do not guarantee response

Allow DMs from people who I do not follow, as long as u aren't a dick.

I do not:

Write x Reader or in second person. Please do not send me those prompts, I understand that it's very popular but it's not for me.

Hesitate, bitch. You will be blocked immediately if you act like a fool. My spoons are too low for bs. Treat people in fandom with dignity and kindness, thx.

Currently Writing:

Baldur's Gate 3- Tav x Astarion, Dark Urge x Gortash (and Dark Urge x Abdirak)

Dragon Age- DA:A- Cousland Warden x Nathaniel Howe, Hawke x Varric

In-Progress Fics:

Dissonance and Debauchery: The Drama of an Ill-Fated Bard

Follows the plot of the game Baldur's Gate 3. Tav (Zynatheri Rivati) x Astarion. Zyn is a surface-raised genderfluid Drow bard who habitually hides her own identity with magic. Her past is just as murky as her face, and she clings to her lies with a desperate grip. Much like her friendships, her lovers are all in passing and without an ounce of sentiment. Surely a self-centered, amoral vampire is using her just as much as she's using him, which means Astarion is safe. Right?

Status: On Hiatus

Vampires, Romance, and Other Dead Things

Modern AU of Baldur's Gate 3, vaguely follows Astarion's personal quest. Tav (Zyn) x Astarion. Astarion ends up attacked in the alley outside of Zyn's apartment and she drunkenly rescues him, battered, bloody, and bitten. Neither of them realize that staying the night in her apartment means he's condemning himself to an unlife sleeping on her couch. Zyn isn't thrilled about that, and neither is the vampire that turned Astarion.

Cazador wants his spawn back.

Status: On Hiatus

Belladonna- The Dark Urge

A series of one-shots detailing the past and game story of my Dark Urge. An impulse-riddled, violent murderer hell-bent on appearing untouchable and calm, she dwells within silent halls and is served by a cult of voiceless, cannibalistic maidens tended like flowers in a garden. Belladonna fights the power of her Father not to rebel, but to be capable of fulfilling his Will. For being the flesh of Bhaal is not only a privilege, but a struggle, the constant urge to kill, rend, destroy, and breed nearly antithetical to any real progress.

Orin, her sister, seems not to understand the price, and gleefully indulges all her urges. Enver Gortash, her would-be partner in more than one sense, is no better with his constant tests and suggestions towards rebellion. And then there is the Elder Brain, who whispers in her ear that glory in the end may be hers, so that all the world may see her as a pure, inviolate goddess in her own right.

But she knows that in the end, all things must end in death. Orin, Enver, even the Elder Brain will all die. For she is the Flesh of Bhaal, and although she fights against her Father's gifts, in the end it is all for Him.

Then she gets amnesia. Oops.

Status: Updates Randomly when she forcibly takes over my brain. Chronological status not guaranteed. Next might be a 4 chapter fic. In progress.

Dragon Age

Reforged in Dragon's Fire

Follows the story line of Dragon Age Awakening. After the death of the Archdemon, Phoebe Cousland has been transmuted from the bright, brilliant girl that Nathaniel Howe remembers into something bitter, cold, and hard. Although she's saved his life and made him a Warden, she cannot seem to stop herself from trying to place the crimes of his family upon his shoulders.

Since a young age, everyone knew she was meant to marry Nathaniel's brother Thomas. But the betrayal of war showed his true face, and all of her rage, confusion, and anger has finally found a target in his brother. Nathaniel, for his part, struggles with the revelation of his father's deeds, and the lies his family made him complicit in.

The ghosts of the past must be laid to rest before there is any hope of a future.

Status: On Hiatus Until December. Thanks for your patience! <3

A Sky of Shattered Stars

After five years of running from demons, aided by spirits and rebel gods, Hawke is finally free of the Fade. She's home, back with Varric, but when you're too afraid to sleep and your body has forgotten what reality feels like, recovery is hard. While Hawke fights with her own body and her fear that she'll never truly recover, Varric is dealing with demons of his own.

His unresolved grief haunts them, trapping her in the empty halls of the Viscount's mansion.

But there's a conspiracy in the streets of Kirkwall, whispers of the Viscount's misdeeds. They say he lies, that he uses the dead Champion's name to cover his own grasping for power-- laughable, Hawke knows, but infuriating. How dare they use her to hurt Varric?

Status: Updating, finishing the space between Inquisition and Veilguard

[damedking]

Okay I literally was saving money to get an apartment over there so I can be beside you and have you move in we had a few months until June but YOU jump ship I moved all the way up here and have been working my ass off saving money so I could make that move without any set backs of course I want to see you of course I wanna hold you until you know everything will be alright so don't sit there and insult me like I wasn't always trying to be there for you as much as Possible under the circumstances I'm going through shit as well this place is dangerous and I'm up here by myself the house next door just got shot up not to long ago people dying left and right and I work at night in dark places anything can happen people were getting killed at there cars and shit and have have to deal with this depression ALONE like iv always have this shit sucks how about you try asking me how I'm feeling and get to know me on a deeper level your not the only one suffering and I'm not comparing struggles I'm just just saying YOU DONT HAVE TO GO THROUGH IT ALONE and also my pages are not always just one subject of content I don't just sit around and post sexual stuff just to get your attention I have like 4 blogs and you follow three of them and Ishare art hentai kinks the state of my mind or random thoughts I have posted things for you to see in the past a few times to get your attention but no time recently I post art I post kinks etc they're my blogs I can do what I want with them And speaking of blogs the other one you blocked me on I was waiting until you unblocked me to see it but I just looked and scheduled phone call trauma your acting as if it was every day when we didn't call each other everyday and when we got off you always pouted and you more often than not enjoyed yourself so don't gas light me as if I was forcing you the only timed calls we did was me waking you up for work Yes I hate that I can't be there for you the way I want to be I know it sucks but don't try to make me seem like I'm someone who's in your life to play around how is any of this playing this is my LIFE I care about you I care about your mental state I care about your depression I care about your smile you my fucking nigga at the end of the day and I know a lot of this is because of shit from your past and how you are so I don't take most of it personal And I can't express myself through comments I still want to be there for you and support you BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT You Crazy GIRL GET THAT THROUGH YOUR HEAD This isn't a damn act I'm sorry you're going through all of that alone I truly am but you don't have to I told you I would always be there for you and I haven't given up yet I know all of this isn't a magical situation that'll just sweep you off your feet but none of the movies you love have a happy beginning I don't want an internet relationship who wants to be away from someone they care about my love language is touch so I try to keep it together while we talked but I wanted to be around you more than anything else I know you inside and out and you haven't scared me away yet because when I was going through some of the worse shit in my life you were there for me even if I wasn't talking about it much of course were not perfect but we're trying our best to live in a world we don't even want to be in SO LETS NOT MAKE IT HARDER THAN IT HAS TO BE

[t-lostinworlds]

Discontinuing My Taglist

what the title says. basically, there’s just way too many people on my taglist for me to keep up with it. plus, it takes a lot of my time to simply tag people because i have to click every. single. url. to make sure it works. and when you have 200+ accounts to tag, it’s a lot. not to mention, tags sometimes don’t work, then the case where blogs change users, and some blogs you can’t tag at all.

SO! with that said, i found a different and much easier route to replace my taglist. if you still want to be up-to-date whenever i post a new fic, go follow @t-lostinlibrary and turn on notifications! DO NOT WORRY about getting flooded with random content because in that side blog i will only reblog my fics and my fics only. the blog is genuinely just an alternative to a taglist so that those who want to keep up with my works can follow that blog instead and get notified whenever i post a new fic. it will also serve as a compilation so everything i have written so far but mostly in the future will be on that blog so if you scroll through it all you’ll see are my fics and nothing else. so yes, all my craziness and unhinge moments will only remain on this blog.

few points:

i am still posting all my fics on my main blog: t-lostinworlds. i’ll only reblog my writing on the sideblog for notification purposes.

the blog is NOT a fic rec blog. all the fics i’ve read will still be reblogged on my main and tagged as: #fic rec. specific tags as to who the fic is about can be found on my main masterlist.

this applies to all my works. i.e. one-shots, blurbs, smaus, etc. 

i’m still contemplating if i’ll just have taglists only for a specific series (probably not). but new parts will still be reblogged on the sideblog so might as well just follow it. i’ll also try my best to focus on one thing and finish it first before jumping to another thing. so that way the content will be consecutive (?) but we shall see because sticking to one wip is just too much to ask *sigh*

that’s really all i have to say. hope you guys are having a lovely day! <3

[weasleyposts]

MY DR- drinking ☆彡

happy 2021 loves! because drinking is often associated with new year’s,, i was inspired to tell you about how the people in my DR act while drinking/drunk (headcanon style). also,, i know that this is super late; i’m so sorry!!! but i hope you still enjoy<3

***please drink responsibly!!!

warnings: alcohol, underage drinking, mentions of being sick (this entire post is about alcohol so if that makes you uncomfortable,, please don’t read! i am not trying to in any way, shape, or form romanticize alcohol or encourage underage/dangerous drinking)

-ˋˏ ༻✿༺ ˎˊ-

fred:

• functions alarmingly well when drunk but not as well as george

• heavyweight drinker

• doesn't like drinks that have a fruity taste and doesn't really like wine but likes beer, vodka, and tequila

• buys ginny and me alcohol but sets strict rules so that we don’t get too drunk

• “how much you wanna bet that i could (insert ridiculous task) right now?”

• blows kisses at random strangers

• wants to slow motion play-fight everyone

• sings so loudly and SO dramatically

george:

• functions the best out of everyone when drunk

• heavyweight drinker

• likes drinks with fruity undertones and also likes more sophisticated (?) alcohol like wine in addition to other drinks like beer, vodka, and tequila

• buys ginny and me alcohol and is usually the one taking care of us after we disobey fred’s rules

• tries to fight any guy who looks at ginny or me for too long (a quick glance is too long for him)

• wants to slow dance with everyone just for fun

• carries me when i’m too drunk to walk

• generally perceived as irresponsible but definitely the mom of the group when everyone’s drunk

ginny:

• functions fairly well until she hits the point where she’s completely gone

• heavyweight drinker

• will drink literally anything with alcohol in it and isn’t picky

• the person i hang out with the most while drinking

• even funnier when tipsy/drunk and even more of a badass

• takes care of/hypes up drunk girls in the bathroom (and keeps extra hair ties for those who are sick from drinking too much)

• grabs my hand to take me everywhere with her

• “i’m dizzy but in a good way”

ron:

• absolutely cannot function when drunk but thinks he can

• lightweight drinker

• will drink anything alcoholic

• laughs at EVERYTHING

• thinks he’s being quiet but is actually screaming

• if it’s even possible, curses even more than usual

• “i’m not even tipsy” when he’s literally so drunk he can’t even walk in a straight line

• once offered to hold my hair back when i drank too much and was feeling sick (🥺)

• gets lowkey really sappy when sobering up

harry:

• functions very well when drunk

• somewhere between a lightweight and heavyweight drinker

• even funnier and more sarcastic when drunk

• is so entertained by ron’s drunk banter that he can’t stop laughing

• “i’ve only done like 3 shots...or maybe 6?”

• the best person to ask to hold your drink if you have to leave it somewhere for a minute

• was once really drunk late at night and begged me to teach him how to braid hair?

• basically think of movie harry under the influence of felix felicis. that’s exactly how he acts

hermione:

• probably wouldn’t function well but i’ve never seen her more than tipsy

• lightweight drinker

• will really only drink wine and champagne

• thinks she’s drunk after 2 sips of anything alcoholic

• constantly worries that she’ll actually get drunk and say something stupid

• reprimands harry and ron the entire night of drinking

• “i honestly can’t believe you two”

• pre-makes potions the morning before we get drunk to help with our hangovers the next day

-ˋˏ ༻✿༺ ˎˊ-

thank you for reading and thank you for 73 followers!!! i love each and every one of you so so much<3 if there’s any content you’d like to see,, please request it in my ask box!!! also just a reminder,, reposts help my blog so so much!!!!!

[cozy-neko]

The Cherry On Top • 02 • 03 | Charity stream disaster • 04

Kenma checked his stream overlay one last time to make sure everything was set up correctly. The streamer was only ten minutes away from his scheduled 24-hour charity stream that Akaashi had set up for him in partnership with the energy drink company, Black Sheep. For every donation Kenma receives during his live stream, all proceeds will be 100% donated to help animal shelters in need of supplies.

For once, Kenma was actually excited about a partnership. As a lover of cats and raising three rescues himself, it wasn’t particularly a hard decision for Kenma to make when Black Sheep had approached him and brought up the idea of a partnership and a charity stream campaign in conjunction with the animal shelter Black Sheep was associated with.

That was why when his sponsorship with Black Sheep had been threatened by a rumor, Kenma ultimately made a public announcement to deny the rumor and personally reached out to the PR/Influencer team at Black Sheep to talk it out with them.

Now, three minutes prior to going live, Kenma’s phone buzzed multiple times. He glanced at the lit up screen and rolled his eyes. It was Kuroo who was blowing up his phone, and Kenma had a fairly decent idea of what the texts were about.

Last week, Kuroo and Kenma had met up with Akaashi and Bokuto for their monthly dinner meet up when Akaashi had mentioned Kenma’s upcoming charity stream.

“A 24-hour stream is too easy for Kenma; the gremlin routinely stays up at least 36-hours once a week anyways.” Kuroo let out a barking laugh as he flipped the meat that was grilling in front of the four friends.

“That’s besides the point, Kuroo.” Kenma rolled his eyes and leaned back in the vinyl booth. “I’m doing a charity stream. All donations I get during the stream goes towards the animal shelter that Black Sheep partners with.” Kenma made sure to slowly emphasize the word “charity” when he explained his upcoming project.

“You know, I’ve never seen Kenma so excited about a project,” Bokuto quipped as he eagerly tucked into his meal.

“It’s for a good cause and Kozume was quick to say yes,” Akaashi added as he flashed a small smile towards the flushed streamer. Kenma still wasn’t used to hearing people praise him, no matter how often he was always featured in esports commentary and articles.

“I have three cat rescues myself, so it was a no brainer,” he mumbled, averting eye contact. He opted to push around the burnt pieces of meat with his chopsticks around his plate instead.

“Aw, you’re embarrassed that you got caught being openly excited for your next project!” Kuroo smirked and nudged his friend. It was all friendly-banter, and Kenma knew that Kuroo meant well and was extremely happy for him, but he flushed harder as Bokuto and Akaashi chimed in to cheer on their friend.

“I’m just being a nice person. Maybe you should try it some day,” Kenma shot back.

“What do you mean?” Kuroo scoffed. “I’m always a nice person.”

Akaashi and Kenma rolled their eyes at Kuroo while Bokuto let out a good-natured laugh at Kuroo’s response.

“Hey, wait! You know what you should do to make your 24-hour stream more spicy?” There was a mischievous glint in Bokuto’s eyes as he waited for his friends to respond. 

“Bokuto-san, whatever you’re thinking probably isn’t a go--” 

“Drunk 24-hour stream!” 

“Oh, nice!” Kuroo snapped his fingers and grinned his infamous Cheshire Cat smirk. Akaashi sighed and Kenma grimaced. 

"I’m not going to take ideas from two drunks. And we barely sat down to eat, how are you two this drunk already?” Kenma wrinkled his nose.

Kenma unlocked his phone and quickly scanned through his group chat. Yup. There it was: a barrage of texts from Kuroo asking Kenma if he had his booze ready followed by a spam of suggestive eye emojis by Bokuto. Kenma was quick to notice that Akaashi had purposely chosen to ignore the group texts and offered no help in diverting the suggestions.

Kenma snorted quietly at Bokuto's message as he locked his phone. He looked up at the monitor to his right and read some comments that were starting to flood in his stream chat. He gave his camera a small smile and leaned back in his chair, answering some questions that caught his attention and saying "hi" to others.

Kenma usually liked to start his stream off rather chill by interacting with his viewers. After playing his music playlist and adjusting the volume, he finally announced his agenda for the day after a few minutes.

"Today I'm partnering with Black Sheep for a charity stream. It's going to be a 24-hour stream and we're gonna spend most of the time playing some League. All donations I get will go towards helping an animal shelter which you guys know I'm all for." Kenma paused as his donation notification sounded and his text-to-speech setting began to read the donation to him and his viewers.

"meowriachi donated $25: 24-hour stream? too ezpz kodzuken"

Kenma laughed and ran a hand through his messy half-up styled hair.

"I was telling my friends about today's stream and Kuroo said the same thing. Maybe in our next collaboration we'll do a longer stream if you guys want that. We'll also be able to have more fun and do more things, too."

Kenma was smart and sneaky. He always was. Kuroo did always say he was the brains of the team back in high school when they played volleyball together. Kenma was good at analyzing situations, and because of this strength, Kenma knew when to use certain words and situations to create benefits for him and his career. This was no exception. The streamer knew Black Sheep would be moderating his stream, so now the company had slight pressure to partner with him again if there was an in demand from his fans. And this was Kodzuken we were talking about. There was no doubt Kenma knew there would already be a second sponsorship in the works.

Kenma smirked. Easy peasy stream indeed.

Kenma loved his job. He truly did. It wasn't every day someone could wake up every day and actually look forward to going to work, and for that, Kenma was thankful. He was thankful that he had the skillsets to do well in competitive gaming and that he had a knack of being able to pick up mechanics of new games so easily. He was thankful that he had a fanbase that enjoyed his commentary and sarcastic humor, and a fanbase that supported and helped him build his brand from ground up.

Kenma knew he owed one-third of his success to his fans and another one-third to his own hard work and passion. But Kenma also knew he owed the last one-third of his success to his friends.

Not once did Kenma regret making Akaashi his manager; Akaashi had gotten him way more sponsorships than Kenma himself could've if he was still balancing streaming, content creation, and managing his own projects.

Kenma was thankful for Kuroo for always challenging him to step outside his comfort zone. Even when Kenma was irritated and didn't want to hear Kuroo's words of advice and encouragement, Kenma was still grateful for it all.

And Bokuto. Kenma guesses he can be thankful for Bokuto for always hyping him up when he needed it the most. Especially when he was extremely hung over from a night out of (forced) drinking and had barely ten minutes to wake up and set up his stream on time.

Yes, Kenma was truly thankful for his friends. But right now, Kenma wanted to kill them. He wanted to kill Kuroo and Bokuto for coming over to his house uninvited even after he warned them not to and for raiding his stream in real life.

Right now, Kenma was seething. One, he was in the middle of a very important sponsorship deal. Two, he was in the middle of a ranked game in League of Legends and he didn't want to lose his winning streak. And three, his two goofball friends had showed up to his house with alcohol and announced out loud to his viewers that Kenma would now be participating in a drunk 24-hour stream.

Kenma doesn't remember the last time he got this mad. What's worse was that Kenma's fans were all for it. His stream chat was getting spammed with poggers emotes, and it was difficult for Kenma to admit that he had been getting more and more donations ever since Kuroo and Bokuto had shown up and the alcohol was brought out. And because of that, Kenma had begrudgingly surrendered and cracked open a White Claw.

Except he didn't stop only at one; not if Kuroo and Bokuto could help it. And at only about 5'8" with a smaller build, Kenma unfortunately fell victim to being a lightweight. And with Kuroo and Bokuto, kings of being instigators, were there to egg him on along with his stream chat, Kenma downed can after can.

Just a little something to take the edge off a work week, right?

end notes:

→ kenma’s twitch stream took me 30 minutes to piece together 😪

→ if you see the same comments on kenma’s twitch chat twice... no you didn’t 😀🔪

→ also peep the stream title change 👀

→ kenma’s the type to use scuffed candids of his friends as their contact photos, but it didn’t work out too well. he actually respects akaashi enough to use a decent photo, and bokuto never takes a bad photo. ever. i guess kuroo’s the only one he can easily clown.

TAG LIST:

if you’re interested in being notified when a new chapter gets published, please interact with the series overview post to be added to my tag list for this series!

also, please make sure your tag notification settings are turned on, or else I won’t be able to tag you!!

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[tuanyiems]

Champagne Truffles

Yugyeom x Reader (f) It’s a little angsty at the start oops but still this is a fluffy one, it’s me after all words: 4k plot: it’s your anniversary date night and he’s determined to make this a night you’ll never forget, established relationship!au a/n – Forgive this unedited piece, it’s 3am rn lulz I spent too much time gushing over got7 I had to take out the smut content to make the deadline lol but anyways, make sure to stream Last Piece as you’re reading!!! And this concludes my November of posting exclusively for Yugyeom! (It still counts as November if I haven’t slept yet!) And what a beautiful month it was! Thank you for following me on this Chocolatier journey, I’m sure these two will show up again in a drabble or two in the future. But until, please enjoy and give got7’s new album a listen if you haven’t already. It truly is another masterpiece album c’: // part of Le Chocolatier drabble series, which you can find the masterlist for in my blog. feel free to read this as a one-shot or part of the series, in any order you want <3

“So, how was work today?” you start, climbing into bed where Yugyeom is already tucked in and scrolling on his phone. The bright light illuminates his face, and you pause, admiring his profile as you wait for him to answer.

But Yugyeom only shrugs, not even bothering to look at you. You grab your own phone from your nightstand, twisting it awkwardly around in your hands as you think of something else to say.

“It’s getting colder these days, isn’t it?” you ask softly, staring down at your phone as you flip it once more and watch it light up to a picture of you and Yugyeom at a carnival. It was one of those summertime, pop-up fairs. Yugyeom had convinced you to call in sick and the two of you made a trip an hour out from the city to play like two teenagers in love. 

Your lips twist as you press your thumb into the screen where Yugyeom is holding your hand in his. Even when your hands were getting clammy from the summer heat and the nerves of waiting in line for the pirate ship, he had refused to let go. 

“Nice try,” he had scoffed, before lifting his hand to kiss the back of yours. “If I let you go for even a second, you’ll definitely find a way to hurt yourself.”

You rolled your eyes, “You’re so protective for the weirdest things.”

“Weird? Who was the one who fractured their wrist while bowling?”

You looked away, pretending not to hear.

“And who’s the girl who got a concussion while walking in a department store, hmm?”

“Hey! That time wasn’t my fault!” you pouted, allowing yourself to be tugged along as the line moved up. “Who puts such heavy items on the top shelf anyways?”

“But what normal person climbs the shelves?!”

“An! Independent! Woman!” You defended, slapping his chest with your free hand with each word.

He only laughed, eyes shining down on you. “You could’ve called for help, or oh I don’t know, asked your boyfriend to get it for you? I mean, what else is my height good for?”

“Eye candy, of course!”

“I’m just a piece of meat to you, aren’t I?” he joked, bumping you by the hip before quickly pulling you back into his chest.

You giggled, “Oh course not, babe. I’m obviously using you for our future offspring too. It’s my gracious consideration for future generations.”

“Future offspring?” Yugyeom’s cheeks blushed a rosy hue and as soon as you noticed, you followed suit.

“I mean! Uh-well…if…” you sucked in a breath, forcing your heart to calm. “Anyways, if they end up inheriting your height and my butterfingers, it’ll end up being a disservice to society actually.”

He chuckled, hand squeezing yours. “Probably,” he mused softly, cheeks still warm with daydreams.

When you turn your phone again, the screen flickers awake and there is his blushing face again, eyes twinkling with thoughts of the future…or, that’s what you always thought he was imagining when you look at this photo, but maybe you were just being delusional. It could’ve just been the summer heat making him flush.

The Yugyeom from that memory and the one sitting next to you feel like completely different people. You don’t understand what happened, only a few months had passed since that day. At first, you had summed up his quiet behavior to the changing season. It’s not like Yugyeom had never been quiet or moody before, but never has he iced you out like this for so long.

It makes you nervous actually. In two days, it’ll be your three-year anniversary. This is supposed to be a good thing of course, but in the back of your mind sits the nervous belief that something bad will happen on that day.

None of your previous relationships have ever lasted longer than a year. You and Yugyeom were always so stable that you never thought this would be a problem, but his sudden changes have made you more superstitious. 

“Baby?” you utter softly, touching his wrist to put his phone down. He looks over but doesn’t say a word. “Um, I was wondering how you wanted to spend this Saturday? We haven’t really talked about it, so…”

Your voice trails. He looks at you almost fiercely, a slight frown on his lips.

You swallow. “Not that we have to do anything. Maybe we could just have a quiet day inside. We can marathon that anime you really like! What was the name again? With the cute pig?”

“Seven Deadly Sins,” he answers, looking back at his phone.

“Yeah, that one!” you say, voice much brighter than how you feel. “But…I was just suggesting. We can do what you want to do. Did you have something in mind? Food you’re craving?”

Yugyeom sighs, turning on his side to turn the lamp off. “It’s late, babe, let’s decide later.”

“Oh, okay.”

In the darkness, your worries fester though.

“Baby?” you whisper cautiously. Quietly, you curl against his back, wrapping your arms around his waist. “Goodnight, Gyeom.”

A moment passes before he twists in your arms and pulls you to his chest. You smile, looking up even though you can barely make out his features in the darkness.

“Night baby, I love you,” he presses a kiss to your forehead, and you find yourself relaxing in his arms.

That night you fall into a sleep so good, you end up missing your alarm.

Rushing around the apartment in only a forest green blouse and your nude hip huggers, you unpack your purse for the fifth time that morning.

“Babe, have you seen my charger?” You yell from the bedroom.

“It’s not in your purse?” Yugyeom calls from inside the bathroom.

You huff, throwing the items haphazardly back into your bag. “No!”

“Just take mines!”

“Thank you!”

Rounding the bed, you make your way to Yugyeom’s nightstand. Unlike your own though, his drawer is a disorganized mess. You furrow your brows, shifting through the old mail and random trinkets.

“How does he find anything in here?” you mutter, stuffing your hand to the back and hoping the wire was buried somewhere there.

“Y/N!” Yugyeoms voice booms from behind you. You jump in surprise. “Why are you going through my drawer?”

He snatches your hand out and slams his drawer shut.

“I-” You try to blink back your surprise. “I was just looking for the charger.”

He let out an exasperated sigh, bending behind the nightstand, and pulls the wire out.

“Here,” he tosses it into your hand before walking to your shared closet. “And don’t go through my things.”

Gaze on his back, you place the charger into your purse meekly. Grabbing your cream trousers from the bed, you quietly step into them as Yugyeom gets dressed too.

“Sorry,” you mumble when he finally turns to you.

He lets out a sigh, threading his fingers between yours. His thumb rubs over your hand gently. “I’m sorry too, I didn’t mean to yell.”

-

“Jackson,” you slide on your rolling chair towards your cubicle buddy, cup of hot chocolate between both palms.

“Uh oh,” Jackson looks at you once before twisting dramatically in his chair. “You’ve got the frowny face!”

“Frowny face?” Jinyoung pokes his head into your cubicle. Seeing your expression, he immediately walks into your cubicle, leaning onto Jackson’s desk. “Who do we need to hurt?”

“No one,” you sulk, stirring your drink. “I just had a question.”

“It was Susan, wasn’t it? I hate her,” Jinyoung scoffs, crossing his arms. Jackson chuckles, nudging him to stop.

“No, I was just wondering,” you pause, looking at your cream flats. “What are some signs when a guy no longer loves you?”

“I’m going to kill Yugyeom.”

“Why is murder always your go-to?” Jackson jokes, trying to lighten the mood. “It can’t be that bad, the last time I saw Yugyeom he was madly in love with you!”

“I just…I don’t know…it’s a feeling,” you frown, gut twisting as you’re speaking the words aloud. “It’s probably nothing.”

“Well, what signs have you been getting from Yugyeom?” Jinyoung asks.

“He’s just gotten quieter in the last couple of months. Sometimes it feels like he’s hiding something from me. Like last night, he was mostly on his phone even though I was trying to talk to him.”

“On his phone doing what?”

You tilt your head, shrugging. “I don’t know, Instagram? Twitter? But that’s not the point.”

“Wait, Instagram or Twitter, Y/N? Was he scrolling through news or was he sliding into DMs? These are important details,” Jinyoung interrupts. Both you and Jackson look at him with wide eyes.

You feel your heart jump to your throat. “Y-you think…maybe, he’s c-cheating on me?”

That thought had never even occurred to you as a possibility but now that you hear it…Your vision starts to blur.

“Oh my gosh, Y/N!” Jackson slaps Jinyoung’s thigh, pushing him away as he hurries to put an arm over your shoulder. “Jinyoung was just asking stupid questions. Yugyeom’s not that kind of guy.”

“But what if he’s right?” you mumble. “This morning I was looking in his drawer to borrow his charger and he yelled at me for going through his things. He’s never done that before! And every time I ask about his day, he won’t really tell me anything.”

You sniffle, rushing to wipe your falling tears.

“Don’t cry, Y/N,” Jinyoung pats your hand softly. “You’re probably just spiraling right now. I don’t know Yugyeom the way you do. He was probably just scrolling through pictures of tattoo art or something.”

“But he’s so handsome and amazing, he could have any girl he wants. What if he’s found someone better? Someone who doesn’t burn toast or, or-”

“Hey,” Jackson squeezes your arm with a frown. “We don’t tolerate that kind of talk in this house.”

“House?” Jinyoung chuckles.

“Our cubicle home!” Jackson clarifies, making you smile.

“Ah, I see a smile,” Jinyoung announces, making your lips stretch wider.

“My makeup is running, isn’t it?” you laugh weakly.

“Yeah, you’re a mess,” Jinyoung teases.

“Good time to ask Susan for an early weekend,” Jackson nudges you playfully.

“Yeah, leave early and go have a real conversation with Yugyeom about how you’re feeling. No use in holding things in if it’s just going to make you cry anyways.”

“Someone’s crying?” Susan, your project manager, pokes her head into your cubicle. When she sees your state, she gasps. “Y/N, what’s wrong? Are you feeling unwell?”

“I’m okay,” you flush with embarrassment.

“Nonsense, you should let her start the weekend early, Susan,” Jinyoung states before smiling at her sweetly. “And as her favorite co-workers, you should let us join her!”

“Nice try, Jinyoung,” she laughs goodheartedly, before turning to you. “You two have to stay, but Y/N, you’re free to go. Come back Monday, feeling better, okay?”

She sends you a wink before striding off.

“I hate her so much,” Jinyoung grumbles.

“You gotta stop lying to yourself, man,” Jackson laughs. He turns to you and pulls you into a hug. “Go and talk to him, Y/N. The longer you wait it out, the longer you’ll just be running circles in your head.”

You nod, convinced. “Alright, I’ll do that. Thanks guys.”

“Call me if you need a hitman!” Jinyoung calls as you rush out of the cubicle.

-

“Hey, why are you calling at this hour?”

“I just missed you,” you hum into the phone, as you walk down the familiar sidewalk towards your favorite chocolate store. “How’s work?”

“Um, actually,” there’s a pause on the other line before he continues, “It’s kind of busy. Probably be home late today.”

“Oh, okay,” you put on a tone of disappointment as you round the corner to the store. You snicker to yourself. Maybe surprising him at work and helping him with the shop will pick his mood up.

“Yeah, sorry, but you know this time of year. People like to eat chocolates.”

You smile to yourself, slowing your step as you reach the storefront. “Yeah, I know. It’s how I met you.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing,” you chuckle.

“Anyways, I really have to go now.”

“O-” You freeze, staring into the window of the chocolate store. “Okay.”

“Bye,” Yugyeom doesn’t wait for you to reply before he cuts off the line. You barely register the dead phone line though. You gulp, watching as your best friend, Jenny, pulls Yugyeom into a tight hug between the counter. In her arms, he smiles with full cheeks.

Stepping back, you cross the street in a rush, collapsing into a seat outside the French café across from Yugyeom’s store before your legs give out entirely. 

This doesn’t make sense. While Jenny was one of your closest friends, she and Yugyeom weren’t especially close. This was partially due to the fact that Jenny lives in another city two hours away from yours. Yugyeom has never expressed any interest in spending time with your friends unless you were with him, and so things just don’t add up.

Jenny never sent you a text that she’d be in town, especially on a Friday. Just as you’re about to go through the text messages in your phone just in case, you see the door of the chocolate store open and out walks Yugyeom and Jenny. They’re so deep in their own conversation, they don’t even glance at you, right across the street from them.

You take in a breath, shaking your head. This just doesn’t make sense. Getting up again, you make your way down the street, watching them from across. Maybe Jenny needed a special order of chocolates. Was there a birthday you were forgetting?

You stop in your tracks, watching as Jenny practically jumping with excitement alongside Yugyeom. She must’ve said something funny, because he tilts his head back, mouth open wide, the same way he always laughs at you when you make a stupid joke.

Shaking your head again, you continue your steps. No, Jenny is a trusted friend. You’ve known her since high school. But the longer you follow, the more your stomach starts to hurt. It’s exactly because you’ve known Jenny for so long that you know she would never be this animated with your boyfriend.

Your chest hurt at just the thought, but you can’t help it from echoing in your brain. That the two of them look too comfortable—like they’ve been meeting for a while. 

Biting your lip hard, you stop in your tracks again and force yourself to turn around. No, this just didn’t add up. And you didn’t want to trail after them like some kind of stalker.

You trust Yugyeom and you trust Jenny.

Hailing the nearest cab, you enter with a huff. It was like Jinyoung said, you were probably just spiraling.

-

“I’m home,” Yugyeom calls softly as he enters the house. You freeze in your seat at the kitchen table, despite having sat there for three hours for this very moment.

“Hey,” Yugyeom peeks his head into the kitchen, looking at you with furrowed eyes. “What are you doing just sitting here by yourself?”

You chuckle dryly, trying to shake off your nerves. “Oh, I guess I was just spacing out.”

He smiles at you before sitting down in the chair across from you. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, everything’s okay,” you lie. “How was work?”

“It was fine. Busy as usual,” Yugyeom shrugs. “What did you have for dinner?”

“I made pasta. There’s leftovers in the fridge for you.”

“It’s okay, I’m stuffed already.”

“Oh? You ate?”

Yugyeom’s eyes grow wide before he is blinking away, running his fingers through his hair. “Uh, yeah, um…Bambam, he bought me dinner.”

“That was nice of him,” you mumble. You breathe loudly, trying to keep yourself collected despite feeling like you were going to vomit with each second that passes.

He chuckles before raising his voice abruptly. “Anyways! Let’s talk about tomorrow!”

“Tomorrow? Did you have something in mind?” your chest jolts with hope.

“Actually, I was thinking you could have a girl’s day with Jenny! And then we could do something in the evening.”

“Jenny’s in town?” you watch him closely, noticing the way he licks at his lips and swallows.

“Oh! Yeah! I uh, I heard it from Bam. He must’ve seen a story update from her or something.”

You dig your nail into the cuticle bed of your thumbs as you listen to him lie straight to your face.

“Jenny didn’t text me though. She probably has something else going on this weekend.”

“Nope!” Yugyeom whips, smiling far too big for this conversation. “I messaged her about tomorrow already.”

“So, you want me to hang out with Jenny…on our anniversary?” You question slowly.

Yugyeom looks away, his ears flushed. He brushes at your hand. “Yeah, you two should catch up, get your nails done or something. You should really stop doing this to your nails.”

You look to your hands, your nail beds raw.

“I’m tired,” you mutter, getting up from your seat first. “I’m gonna go to bed first.”

“Oh, okay…well, just remember, you and Jenny at noon!”

You don’t answer.

-

“You’ve been awfully quiet,” Jenny turns to you with concern as the nail technician keeps her right hand hostage. “Is something bothering you?”

“Why are you in town again?” you ask, eyes concentrated on the deep red shade that your nail tech paints onto your fingernails.

“Oh!” In your peripheral, you can see her noticeably jolt. “I came for a conference on Friday and when Yugyeom reached out to me I decided to stay for the weekend.”

“A conference, huh?”

“Yeah,” she mumbles, turning back to her technician. “You know how much the beauty industry loves their conventions.”

“Must’ve been draining.”

“Yeah, totally. That’s why I didn’t text you I was in town. I was completely exhausted by the end of it that I completely forgot.”

“That’s understandable.”

“Mhm,” she turns back to you. “You should add a gold accent. Gold accent, please!”

Your nail tech nods, bringing out another tray of gold embellishment from underneath her desk. You turn your head, hearing the click of Jenny’s nails on the screen of her phone. There’s a bright smile on her face and it makes you want to burst into tears on the spot.

At first you thought maybe the two of them planned for Jenny to reveal the truth to you. You didn’t think Yugyeom was a coward but lately, none of the things you thought before make sense anymore. However, after hours spent with Jenny, all you’ve managed was getting prettier nails and lots of lies from who you thought was your best friend.

“Gorgeous,” Jenny coos, leaning in to admire your fingers. 

“Yeah,” you murmur half-heartedly, feeling your spirit fully deplete.

No confession comes. No explanation. When evening comes, Jenny sends you right back home. Your walk up to the apartment is slow. This is it, isn’t it? Gyeom needed time to prepare himself to break up with you. It’s why he didn’t want to be with you for your anniversary. 

Your stomach sinks when you get to your door. Was this your last time ever entering? Where were you going to move to? 

As the familiar tone of the keypad rings in your ear, hot tears prick at your eyes. Stepping into the house, your vision blurs as you step through the hallway and into the kitchen. Yugyeom is standing at the stove when he turns to you with a smile.

“You’re back!” he greets you. When you hear his laughter, tears spill down your cheeks. “Crying already, babe? You haven’t even tasted it.”

Hiccupping, you try to calm yourself but the more you try to contain the tears, the more your chest fills with fear and floods you. You cry even harder, a terrible wail leaving your throat.

The sound of tin crashes onto the floor and quickly, you are enveloped in Yugyeom’s warmth. The feeling only makes you more sick and you bury your face into his chest, crying harder. Your last embrace. Your last time being comforted by him. The thoughts send sharp pains straight to your chest.

Yugyeom holds you tight against him, taking the impact of your shaking body to his chest. “Baby, what’s wrong? Are you hurt somewhere?”

It’s a long time before you feel calm enough to stand on your own. When you finally do, stepping back from his arms, you feel yourself tearing up again from seeing the concern on his face.

“What happened?” he whispers, fingers reaching out for yours. 

You pull away though, taking another step back.

“Yugyeom,” your voice comes out shaky but determined. “Are we breaking up?”

Tears spill again.

Yugyeom looks at you with a shocked expression. “What? Where is this coming from?”

“You don’t love me anymore,” you cry.

“Of course I do! What are you talking about?” 

“Then why did you lie to me?” You look at him sharply, gaze severe despite the shine of tears. He doesn’t say anything, and the silence breaks your heart.

Lips quivering, you sit down at the kitchen table. “You lied to me. Jenny lied to me…H-how long? How long have you been doing this?”

“Baby,” Yugyeom whispers, bending to the floor. He rests his hands on your thighs, looking up at you and there are tears in his eyes two. “Baby…baby, you’ve got this all wrong.”

“Even if it’s not Jenny, it’s still not me, is it?” you whimper, tears spilling down your chin. They splatter on the back of his hands. “You don’t talk to me anymore. You don’t want to share anything with me. Not even stories about your day.”

Tears run down Yugyeom’s cheeks as he presses a kiss to your knee.

“No, no, baby, you’re wrong.”

You sniff, cupping your palm to his wet cheek. “I want to be wrong. Please prove me wrong, Gyeom.”

“I was trying to keep it a secret,” he scoffs to himself, shaking his head. “I was planning this for months.”

“Planning?”

“I was so afraid I’d accidentally let it slip, or that you’d find it.”

You frown, brows furrowing in confusion now. “Find what, Gyeom?”

Yugyeom takes in a deep breath, breaking into a gentle smile as he glances down at the kitchen floor. Following his gaze, you realize he had dropped a tray of chocolates earlier.

“Chocolates?”

“Champagne Truffles,” he tells you, reaching down to grab one.

“You…you made a new recipe?”

Yugyeom lets out a loud sigh. “Good thing I marked it.”

You look at him, bewildered. He chuckles softly, turning to you again.

“I’m not going to break up with you, baby,” he laughs, digging his thumb into the spine of the chocolate until it bursts with a pop. “I’m trying to spend my whole life with you.”

Your hands to fly to your mouth in surprise as a fresh wave of tears spring to your eyes. He drops the chocolate shell to the floor, holding onto the shining gold band with shaking hands.

“Every day since meeting you,” his voice breaks and you cry, hands coming to cup his face as tears run down his cheeks too. “I thought I had a good life, and then I met you…And then I realized, I was missing everything before you came into my life.”

“Gyeom,”

He sniffs, breaking into a smile as more tears fall from his eyes. “Baby, you’re my everything. You’re the first person I want to tell anything to. You don’t know how hard it’s been trying to keep this from you.”

You laugh with him, “And Jenny.”

He nods. “She was helping me pick out the ring, plan the event, pick the flowers.”

You grin, pressing your forehead to his. “You bought me flowers!”

He laughs, nose brushing softly against yours. “Yeah, and a ring too…if you want it.”

“I do, I do, I do,” you giggle against him as your tears wet his cheek. 

He chuckles, breath ghosting your lips.

“Not yet, baby, that one’s for the wedding,” he chuckles and you laugh with him.

“Either way, it’s I do.”

[taetaespeaches]

"Did he just call her Poopsie?”

seokjin x reader (or oc) genre: crack; fluff word count: 1.5K

a/n: Ok lovelies, this has to be the most random, stupidest, most crackhead piece of writing I have ever posted to this blog, and for that, I apologize lmao. Jimin criticizes the long term Jin couple for their lack of pet names and they go off and yeah, this is what happened. This fic features all the members!!!! Basically, this is what you get when I write some dumbass shit and have Mads read over it, only for it to spark some more dumbassery from her. We share one braincell, and it shows in this fic. Anyways, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy lol :))

JUST as you got to the dorm you found Taehyung entering through the door, turning his head to spot you just before he disappeared into his home. “Hey!” He shouted happily at you, holding the door open for you.

“Hi,” you greeted, “where are you getting home from?” You asked snoopily with a smirk, fully aware he had started dating his best friend recently and was still very much in the honeymoon phase. Instead of answering you, he gave you a beaming grin with a bashful chuckle and you simply smiled back as he shut the door. “Cuties,” you whispered, Tae bumping you with his shoulder as he led you into the dorm.

Walking past the kitchen, you both spotted your boyfriend cooking away as Jimin sat at the counter reading something off his phone.

Jin looked up to see you, a smile spreading across his face. “Pumpkin butt!” He greeted you excitedly. Pumpkin butt?

You smiled, shooting him a questioningly look. “Hi?” You gave a small laugh, walking toward him and kissing his cheek when you reached him. “Can I help you with something?” You asked, looking at the pan that was full of sizzling vegetables and meat.

“Hmmm,” he thought out loud, exaggerating the sound. “You could get me some sesame seeds from the spice cupboard, Angel Face.”

Again, Angel Face? You looked at him in confusion, scrunching your eyebrows, and just as you were about to ask what the hell he was doing, Jimin spoke up, looking at Jin with an annoyed expression.

“Ew,” Jimin complained. “I know what you’re doing, I already apologized for meddling into your relationship, can you stop before I lose my appetite?”

Looking between the two men, and then to Tae, you found that the younger man was just as confused as you.

“What am I doing?” Jin asked with a smile. “I’m just happy to see my Sugar Plum.” Sugar Plum? Looking toward you, Jin noted the confusion in your features and leaned forward, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips. “You see,” he started to explain. “Jimin was concerned about the state of our relationship because he never hears us use pet names for each other.”

Realizing what your boyfriend was doing, you had to hold back your growing smile. “Ohhh, is that so?” You asked before looking toward Jimin with a smirk before making your way to the spice cupboard. “Pookie Bear, you need sesame seeds, right?”

A massive grin spread across Jin’s face in response to you playing along. “That’s right, Sugar Pie.” You snuck a look at the younger boys sitting at the counter, taking note of Jimin slowly shaking his head as Tae sat there grinning at you and Jin, thoroughly amused.

“You know, Sesame Seed is a good pet name,” you noted, handing your boyfriend the little bottle.

“Is it?” He asked with a chuckle, unable to hold back his amusement. You shrugged, Jin nodding. “Well when has my little Sesame Seed ever been wrong before?”

“Why are you two like this?” Jimin interrupted, sending Taehyung into giggles.

“Like what?” You asked.

“Yeah, we just want to show you our cute affectionate side,” Jin added. “Isn’t that right, Miss Sweetums McGee?” He directed to you, and you found yourself having to hold back a laugh and also a look of disgust at the horrible pet name.

“That’s right, Mr… Sweetums McGee, was it?” You asked Jin, only for him to let out a squeaky laugh.

“Yeah, I think that was it,” he nodded.

“A great one,” you nodded back, giggling.

“You guys are so annoying, all I was saying is that it’s weird you don’t have pet names, you’re a couple,” Jimin complained with a sigh and a shake of his head.

You shot Jimin a glare as Jin scoffed. “Like Dear is such a great pet name? Dear whom?” Jin asked with wide eyes, you holding back a smile as you agreed. At that moment, the remaining four members entered the room, all looking at the scene in front of them with confused expressions.

“Yeah, are you writing a monologue every time you address your girlfriend? Writing letters?” You added sassily.

“Yeah,” Jin exclaimed. “Certified cringe!”

Turning to your boyfriend, you yelled out another “yeah!” just as you high fived.

Jimin was staring at you both trying to make sense of what was happening as Tae was cackling beside him.

“What the hell is going on?” Namjoon asked you all, only for you and Jin to stare at him.

“I don’t even know anymore,” Jimin spoke with a head shake, still in shock.

Tae controlled his laughter enough to explain, “Jimin was criticizing them for not having pet names so now they’re messing with him.” Namjoon looked from person to person, confusion still etched into his features as Yoongi chuckled.

“I mean, it is kind of weird that you don’t have pet names, even I do,” he said nonchalantly, walking toward the fridge.

“You wanna talk about weird,” you interjected, making Yoongi turn to look at you in surprise. “Kid?” Yoongi’s eyebrows raised and shot you an expectant look. You and Jin looked at each other pulling mirroring disgusted expressions, your faces scrunched up.

“Yeah, isn’t that a bit creepy?” Jin asked, looking back to Yoongi, the members all snickering. “Power play?”

“You don’t need to air your kinks out like that, do you?” You added, Jungkook letting out a loud cackle across the room.

“What the fuck?” Yoongi mumbled in confusion, looking to the members for help, only to find them all laughing.

“Certified Cringe!” You yelled, Jin high fiving you.

“You know what,” you continued on, “speaking of airing out kinks, Taehyung,” you started in, Taehyung’s eyes popping open as he pointed to himself. “Driver roll up the partition, fast?” Taehyung stared at you blankly as you asked, “Do you like to call her Peaches when you get that nasty?”

Taehyung let out a laugh through his nose as Jin looked at you in confusion. “Wait, what?”

“Beyoncé,” you told him, your boyfriend letting out an ‘ohhhh’ in realization.

“Yeah, so cringe,” Jin told Taehyung. “And how cringe it is, Cherries?” Jin asked you, simultaneously parodying Tae’s pet name for his girlfriend.

“Um I’d say it’s certified,” you told him.

“Certified Cringe!” You yelled together, giving each other another high five.

Scanning the members, you locked eyes with Namjoon and his smile fell. “Daisy?”

“Five dollar romance novel vibes,” Jin suddenly said.

Raising an arm up, you pretended to drop a mic, saying, “boom.”

“Certified cringe!” Jin added, both of you high fiving before turning to your next victim as Namjoon looked around as if he had no idea where he even was.

“Oh Hobi,” you started, Jin shaking his head with a small smile. “Sweet Hobi.”

“Petal?” Jin posed, as you both shook your heads before looking at each other, waiting for the other to come up with something.

“Petal,” you repeated, inhaling as your mind tried to come up with a good burn. “Ok that’s actually really cute,” you admitted.

“Yeah it is,” Jin agreed as Hoseok beamed in amusement. “But it’s still cringe!”

“Yeah, certified cringe!” You yelled, high fiving your boyfriend once again.

“And you,” you shot a look at that bratty maknae who spent so very much of his time teasing you. “I wouldn’t be calling your girlfriend ‘Holly’ too much in public,” you started.

“Talk about airing your weird kinks out to everyone,” Jin added on. “Leave that to Yoongi.”

“Wait, what kink?” Jungkook asked, thoroughly confused.

“People might think you’re talking about Min Holly,” you informed him, Jungkook eyes going wide as he shot a look to Yoongi.

“Hey, hey, hey, leave my dog out of this shit,” he complained with a pout.

“I think it’s safe to say the name Holly is certified cringe!��� Jin yelled out, ignoring Yoongi.

You high fived the man again before adding, “disgusting.”

With all of the members standing around looking from each other to you and your boyfriend, Jin simply tossed the contents of the frying pan into a bowl and grabbed your hand. “Come on, Poopsie, let’s go eat.”

You looked to the ground as you laughed at the ridiculous pet name, making a mental note to tell him to never call you Poopsie again as you followed him out of the kitchen to his bedroom, leaving the other six men standing there in silence.

“Did he just call her Poopsie?” Yoongi asked, Taehyung and Hoseok laughing amusedly.

“What’s wrong with Daisy?” Namjoon asked in utter confusion, as Jungkook stared off into space, surely rethinking Holly as a pet name.

“They’re going to criticize me for the name Kid when he’s calling her Poopsie?” Yoongi continued to complain.

Jimin stood up, looking at the empty frying pan before huffing. “They didn’t even leave any food,” he mumbled before heading out of the kitchen, the comment knocking Jungkook out of his daze.

“They didn’t?” He asked, stepping toward the stove to see the empty pan for himself. “That’s the whole reason I even came out here,” he pouted. The other guys looked at their youngest member for a moment before Namjoon and Taehyung left the room, leaving Yoongi, Jungkook, and Hoseok in the kitchen looking at each other.

“Well they said ‘Petal’ is cute,” Hoseok boasted with a grin.

Jungkook let out a sigh as Yoongi shook his head and opened the fridge. “Hobi,” Yoongi spoke as he looked for his leftovers. “Please shut up.”

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Good morning/afternoon/evening/night, Ralph. (I think I covered all my time zone bases there). I have been thinking lot lately about all the rhetoric in the fandom about Harry’s health and well-being, and how loud it has felt this year. To be clear, I am not asking for you to weigh in with your own speculations about how Harry is doing, unless you feel comfortable doing so. (I’m not telling you what to do either way, obviously, seeing as I am only a little grey icon in your inbox and have no right or way to demand anything of you.) I’m more looking for guidance or even just your rambling thoughts about what is respectful and appropriate when we’re wondering about a celebrity’s well being, and how you handle your own thoughts and assumptions about this. I feel like over the course of the last year we’ve just been inundated with all this panic and speculation about how Harry is unhappy or unhealthy or otherwise not himself, going all the way back to the Jingle Bell Ball Golden performance. Every time we get any new content there’s a wave of people saying he looks too thin and overworked like he’s not getting enough food or rest, or overweight and out of shape (pick a lane, people), he looks stressed, he looks sad, he looks angry, his eyes have lost their sparkle, his smile is dim, he’s addicted to drugs, he’d addicted to drugs because Jeff is doping him up to keep him going, he’s going to quit music, he’s going to hurt himself, blah blah blah. And the people making these “observations” hide behind the assertion that they’re just worried for his health when they’re faced with any sort of criticism.

This whole ongoing rhetoric feels really…icky? I suppose? to me. I do kind of think he has looked more drawn and intense (“stressed” and “sad”) in the content we’ve gotten this year, but I also think (1) the content we’ve gotten has largely been pap shots and stunt stuff, (2) this year he had to postpone his tour, and we know he loves performing so that must have really sucked, and (3) this year has just been rather shit for all of us, we’re all stressed and sad and scared and frustrated by the larger political and social goings on, and by the ways our own lives are impacted. In the past, the content we’ve gotten where Harry looks the happiest and most at ease has been performance footage or him with his family and loved ones. We haven’t gotten any of that this year. It makes sense that the pictures we do get would feature him looking less than completely relaxed and jubilant. And then there are all the assumptions that he’s lost weight or gained weight and is therefore unhealthy or on drugs or drinking a lot and that just honestly pisses me off. You cannot tell jack shit about a person’s health from their weight, and especially not in random pictures taken at random intervals in random settings. To pretend you can is harmful, and Harry probably won’t see you making these assumptions about his mental and physical health based on the prominence of his cheekbones in a set of pap pics, but friends and strangers who are already struggling with their weight will. And the assertion that someone is dealing with an addiction of any kind (or, god forbid, and I hate even typing this, being subjected to drug use at the hands of someone with power over them) is an allegation that a) you can’t make from one picture and b) has really deep, life altering, tragic and painful and hard consequences for that person and all their loved ones, and deserves more respect and deference than to be treated as something you can just throw out into the great wild beyond and then forget about.

But beyond the fact that people are making hurtful and invasive allegations and assumptions about a real person’s private life based entirely on a very very limited and posed and edited set of content that was hand chosen to be given to us, I think the thing that bothers me the most is it feels like the people who are driving these conversations are doing so because they want something from Harry. It’s never (or rarely, I suppose) “man Harry looks tired in the pictures we’ve gotten lately, I really hope he’s taking care of himself, things have been so hard for us all.” It’s always “Harry has been so withdrawn and sad and angry he’s not communicative with fans and he’s not willing to engage with them when he sees them in public and I miss him. I miss my Harry. I miss happy Harry. I want him back. Give me Harry back.” Which tells me the concern isn’t Harry or Harry’s health, but rather the feeling that Harry owes us something that he hasn’t been giving, and now he must pay up or give us a valid excuse.

Then I do, occasionally though, find myself thinking “am I doing exactly what I’m complaining about? Am I assuming the worst of people based on a limited set of insights into their lives?” And in the wake of the Britney legal battle that has been unfolding recently, I sometimes wonder if maybe as fans we do have kind of a duty to call out celebrities when they seem to be struggling or acting incredibly out of character. Most of the time I follow this up immediately with the thought that I’m not responsible for anyone else’s health and safety, much less that of a 27 year old man I’ve never met and have no connection to beyond liking his music and his face, and I do truly believe that, but there is some part of me that feels uneasy just turning off all my concern, because I am a person who tends to be greatly concerned about everyone, who just wants everyone to be happy and healthy and safe and loved, and who wants to help people feel that way, where and when I can. So I guess what I’m asking, in the incredibly long winded and winding way I ask anyone anything (my poor husband, he gets a novel from me every time I ask what he thinks we should do for dinner) is do you have any of these same feelings and concerns? How do your navigate them? Where do you draw a line? Do you just withdraw completely from this type of speculation? How do you balance being a kind, engaged, empathetic fan with being a respectful, responsible fan who knows their limits? (And man, isn’t that the ultimate question?). Your blog is one I end up on whenever something big happens or a particular conversation pops up, because I’ve found that I really value the way you break things down and are willing to consider them from many perspectives, so I appreciate you even taking the time to read this.

Thanks for your interesting thoughts about Harry anon. I feel like there's a lot to respond to here and I'm going to start by answering the questions your questions - and then I'm going to get distracted and talk about a post I really hated.

I'm always a little bit worried about Harry, and all 1D members. He might be really struggling, that's always a possibility. Harry has lived a very intensely scheduled high workload life since he was 16. He might have had all sorts of responses to the fact that that schedule was removed, or anything else that is happening in his life. But I feel like I'm generally pretty boundaried about those concerns.

I think part of it is because my base line assumption is that boyband members are pretty fucked up. You don't need to know a lot about the history of touring musicians to know that. I think I've said before that if 1D members are eating every day and not doing needle drugs then they're doing better than we have any right to expect (and if they're not eating and are doing needle drugs, then those are coping mechanisms for intense stress and there's no shame in either of them).

I do think it helps with boundaries to be starting from a point that acknowledges how hard it is to be a popstar. I'm all about fantasies of omnipotence and in my day to day life I think I can fix all sorts of things, but I don't think I can make any difference to any 1D member's life.

In addition, I am profoundly affected by having been a fan throughout 2016. We know what it looks like when Louis was going through a horrendous, devastating, trauma - and it looks pretty normal.

None of this means I don't have opinions, or worries, but I am aware that my opinions or worries aren't facts. It's rare that I think that my worries should matter even to people reading my tumblr, let alone other fans in general, and certainly not Harry. You say 'am I doing the same thing as other people assuming the worst about people...', but I'd argue that that's actually not the problem. There's nothing wrong with assuming the worst of people. What is wrong is when fans think their assumptions about a celebrity should matter to anyone else. You don't have to turn off your concern to think that it's not a priority.

I definitely think it would be a very bad thing if people took the moral as the 'free Britney' movement as 'fans should call out celebrities when they think they're struggling'. That sort of surveillance isn't effective or useful. What has been useful for Britney is solidarity in a well documented power struggle, which is a very different thing.

And I can't emphasise enough how important the 'well documented' aspect of this is. What most fan worrying about Harry amounts to is: 'I don't like what he's doing, and there's no way he'd do things I didn't like and therefore there must be something wrong with him'. That's a really controlling way of thinking about people. I really think it's important not to reproduce that abusers logic.

I am pretty well insulated from that sort of discourse from a very well weeded dash. But I saw a post that was mostly about other fandom stuff, that treated assumptions like: "Harry must hate being with Olivia and he's suffering and it's clear he's not happy with his image and his team" as building blocks that you don't even have to argue for (this is the post - and I'm going to come back to one of the things someone said that was even worse in a second).

Lets stop for a minute and imagine that Harry hasn't got a problem pretending to date Olivia, and his main concerns are about the messiness of life and his career at this point in time. It is really fucked up and agressive, and pretty hateful towards Harry, to say 'oh he couldn't possibly want this. It's clear that he hates it.' etc. (I feel like I've been making this argument for years about people who object to Louis doing such things as smoking and not performing middle-class culture for them). When fans trash talk what Harry is doing at the moment, and suggest that believing he could be choosing what he's doing is some how an act of huge disrespect to him, there is every chance they are trash talking him and the choices he's making.

The final thing I want to draw attention to is how often this sort of fan storytelling is combined with a profound lack of interest in what 1D members are actually going through. The tags screen shotted and added on to the post I reblogged actually described Holivia as Douis 2.0. Apparently assuming that there was absolutely no connection between Douis, and Louis and his family's ultimately successful efforts to privacy as Jay was dying. What the fuck is wrong with people that they ignore that, and erase that? There's far more interest in making up 1D members suffering so that fans can continue to tell the stories they want to tell, than actual acknowledgement of what we know that they went through.

Sorry I got distracted. What I'm trying to say is that there's nothing wrong with having feelings about celebrities or telling stories about them. But it's so important to acknoweldge the limits of your knowledge and power, even when fandom discourse encourages the opposite.

[tehohaews]

2020 CREATOR WRAP: FAVORITE WORKS

 Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works.

Thank you soooo much Nuria @taytawan for tagging me 🥺💖and ignore how late this is oops

Okay so 2020 is the year that I returned to “the internet” and I’m grateful cause otherwise I wouldn’t get to know all of you lovely people.Thank you for existing and making me feel like I belong somewhere 💖💖 So, along with my works I'm also gonna mention some of my favorite people and their works here and If you’ve ever made me smile you’re here and I love you <3

@snugglesweaters  Terryyyyyyy. My closest friend here 🥺 I’ve never told you this but if it wasn’t for you,I doubt I would’ve lasted this long here. It's nice knowing someone as clueless and a clown like me. I can talk to you about anything and I feel like we have similar views on stuffs.I love making random references to fics and knowing that you’ll get it cause we kind of read the same fics. I love this tine glitter fic of yours (yes tine glitter fic), obviously this cause (vampire) bright in a beanie AND the coffee shop au hc that only I know about hehe. I love your (almost) phd brain and hope you’re doing well in your dissertation. YOU CAN DO IT DW. And may you stay healthy,hydrated,safe and happy in the coming year 😊💖 I love you soooooooo muchhhhhhh 💖💖💖

@lesbian-earn Mayyyyy!!!. My co president of the short people supremacy club. You are so sweet and kind and thank you for reaching out to me that one day I was feeling a bit anxious.It’s always lovely to see you on my activity and on the dash. Like I once said, you remind me of sunshine and ilu 💖💖 Hope that the next year is kind to you and you’ll do well in your uni stuffs dw, I know you can.💖 Also I’ve said this before but i looooveeee this fic of yours and when I found out it was you dfjidfjidfidf

@taytawan Nuriaaaaaaa 💖💖 You say that I’m kind but it’s always because you are so sweet and talented that I can’t help screaming about your works everytime I see them. If I’m not mistaken, the name Nuria comes from the word Nur meaning light. You make the world brighter and a better place by your presence and I’ve said this before but really, it would’ve been very lonely without you in this 2g circus. I love these two sets of yours (I mean I did write an essay in the tags when I saw this) .Thank you for everything, I love you and I hope that you remain safe and happy in the coming year 💖💖 (Also join mine and May's short people club,Terry isn't invited ofc jdjsdjasjij)

@brightwinfilm NATH efhifhihis my (almost) birthday twin. LISTEN we’re gonna have so much fun in March, 1) Itsay part 2 AND your birthday 2)Sarawat’s birthday 3) My birthday and 4)since we’re here let’s just say Tine’s birthday is in March too hehehe. Thank you for all the lovely sarawatine and brightwin content you make, they never fail to make me smile.I love this set of yours and this also cause hehehe i WILL bring this back muhahhaa.You’re a wonderful person and you make the world a better place. Take care of yourself and I hope that you are always happy,healthy and safe 💖 i love youuu

@ryudian​ My go to person when I need any updates. You are SO HELPFUL and so NICE. I love going to your blog and seeing your st dolls and all the crazy stuffs you do because of bw. And I absolutely loved what you did with the oishi drinks here. May you be happy and safe in the coming year and stop spending so much money on merch I'm worried you'll go bankrupt

@komari-maxx​ I love seeing you on my activity and I love your st dolls and fics, specially this fruity4 one cause sdhididhid you included my hc of them arguing over the colour on lunch.This totally happened no one can change my mind. Hope you'll be happy (with your st dolls hehe) in the coming year

@teh-ohaew *tarn voice* Eyy TAY djidjijid hehe oops. Tay and Teh sound so similar specially in tarn's voice. Omg Teh Tay besties. TAYYYYY I love youuuu and I love reading your tags and seeing you on my dash except when you and Ayesha go crazy sdhusdh hehe jk. You are so nice and I love this sarawatine ig hc of yours. Hope you have a lovely year ahead and remain happy,healthy and safe. Don't forget to take care of yourself (by that I mean listen to the itsay original score on repeat)

@metawin JAYYYYY. I still remember the first time I came across your blog, it was when you were (probably) rewatching wyel and blogging about it crazily. I was laughing so hard at those and then you followed me back and I still to this day have no idea why. It's comforting seeing your posts in the tags and the dash and I absolutely love this itsay set of yours. You are so talented and lovely and I hope that you have a wonderful year ahead. Lots of love <3333

@gremlinmetawin Ayesha bb 🥺🥺 You were the first person who interacted with me here and I love you for that. It's lovely seeing you in my dash and thank you for tagging me in tag games, I have fun doing them 💖💖 tbh I know like 3 Ayeshas irl but you are the loveliest and kindest of them all. Hope that the next year is kind to you,bring you happiness and you finally finish all those unwatched shows

@khaotungthanawat SAMMMMM Have I said that you are SO TALENTED this week? although tbh you deserve to hear that everyday. You always say that it's nothing but no, you ARE talented and kind. It's wonderful seeing your posts ( I feel like you're everywhere nowadays another proof that you work hard). You are a blessing to this world and I hope for you to be always happy and safe 💖💖.I love this st set, this itsay one and the tags of this post 😂😂 I will never not laugh at this.If this doesn't happen in the st special special askdkdsks 

@metawwin ALIIIIIIIII, queen of parallels djijidjias. I love going through your blog and seeing all your 2g stuffs.I absolutely adore this set of yours. You are so talented and you make the world a happier place <3 I love youuuuu and I hope you're staying hydrated,taking care of yourself and doing the things you love. You deserve all the love and happiness in the world 💖💖

@wirapong AISHIIIIII Hope you're doing well. I've screamed about this already BUT this club drama fic? lives in my head rent free. Also I love all your soft baby wat fics cause WAT IS A BABY. Glad we have Tine as the President of the Sarawat protection squad. I love your writing. you're so talented and I hope that the coming year will bring you happiness <33

@acequinz Hi Ace!! I love your incorrect quotes sideblog and I love your fics, specially this, this and this. You're a lovely person and I hope that you have a wonderful year ahead.

@bisexualrep DORAAAA We haven't talked in a while but I smile whenever I see you in my activities. You are maybe the 4th person who followed me here and it still feels weird cause this and this? some of my fav wyel fics of all time. It's lovely reading your tags, they are so cheerful <3 Hope you're doing well and taking care of yourself. You deserve to be happy always 💖💖

Omg this is so long. If you're still here, here are some of the works that I'm proud of. 1)This itsay set. This was my first time doing big gifs and although this is loooong I like how this turned out, specially the colouring. 2) This cause do I do anything except 2g shitposting? No <3 I had this idea even before s2g aired but decided to wait so that I have more shots from s2g and I'm glad I did cause Earn basically got confirmed as a wlw so (Also special thanks to Terry cause the Man and Air hc were hers,her phd brain ikr) 3)This cause dcjsdjidi SARAWATINE SOULMATES. I love how the colouring turned out despite the fact that ps crashed halfway and I lost the gifs i spent 2 hours colouring. I tried to do this with scenes from the series only but couldn't cause wHen YoU aRe wItH yOuR cAmeRA SHOW US goddammit. If this was ao3 this would've been tagged as Tine teepakorn loves Sarawat guntithanon xD 4) Still2gether textposts obviously. I KNOW that 90% people follow me for my 2g shitposting and I got an ask once saying how were they so accurate and the reason for that is I spent HOURS on these. Atfirst it took a long time but after a while I got the hang of it. It was fun (though sometimes tiring) to make these after each ep aired. I'm proud of it and the fact that I managed to do 13 parts? gsjsdjsj 5) Still2gether subs that looks fake but aren't. shutup this was my first time giffing but it was funnnnn looking for the (canon) crack parts after every ep aired. 

Also,thank you to all the lovely people who likes and reblogs my posts, I do see you and I love you all <33 

Tagging: If you’re here then consider yourself tagged if you wanna do this or to anyone who sees this on the dash

[hearttoshu]

check in tag ✅

tagged by @shuaway (thanks for the tag lee ! <3) and @hongminchy (ik you tagged me on my side bom :o but i did one over there so i thought i’d do it on this blog i hope you don’t mind ;-;/ <3 thenk you for the tag lovely ^~^) 

why did you choose your url?

“heart to you” but it’s a cheesy pun and it’s “heart to shu(a)” LOL 

do you have any sideblogs?

@haknew for the boyz ! i use it the most often so it’s kinda more like my main blog than here haha :p i make gifs and rb stuff ^^ 

@getawaymp3 for verivery / personal ! i make gifs and dump multi group rbs and personal posts there loool it’s super messy tho :’))) (i’m so sorry to anyone who follows me there hhh </3) 

@sunnhoon​ for enhypen ! more gifs and rbs :] 

how long have you been on Tumblr?

on the kp0p side ... about 4 ? or 5 years :o ! 

do you have a queue tag?

yep ! here’s it’s “i adore queue🌷” after adore u ! and on getawaymp3 it’s “invitation just for queue” after gyehyeon’s line in get away ^^ 

why did you start the blog in the first place?

i had no carat friends at the time so i really made it to get to know other carats ! and then later on i eventually learned how to make gifs and i turned this blog into only svt and made getawaymp3 for multi group stuff (that wasn’t the original url lol it’s gone through a few changes ^^)

why did you choose this pfp?

i think shua and dongheon are neat ... my 95z loves <3 so yea :o ! shua cute selca icon for here and heoni sprout icon for getawaymp3 

why did you choose your header?

i made this one a long time ago :o ! and i just really wanted a retro-y windows / vaporwave pastel pink header with shua ^^ for getawaymp3 it’s a group shot from the get away mv but with sparkles :’)) bc i have no personality outside of being a get away enthusiast  

what’s your post with most notes?

for this blog i have no idea it’s probably that random oty in la recoloring i did HAHA i think ?? it has 3k notes or smth for some reason and on getawaymp3 it’s this jaehyun poetic beauty set i posted randomly for fun and somehow got 1.6k notes bc ... jaehyun pretty 

how many mutuals do you have?

a lot on here but a good portion of them are probably inactive ..? and only a handful on getawaymp3 i have a lot of moots on haknew but i don’t really keep track :’)) if i rb from you regularly i consider us moots LMAO 

how many followers do you have ?

like two...

following?

285 ? yea ... 

do you make shit post?

if tag rants count then yes on all my blogs </3 i’m pretty annoying :D, but yea i will on getawaymp3 but only bc the least amount of people follow me there (excluding my enha blog bc it’s like a week old) and i brain dump my sadness there sometimes LOL 

how long do you use Tumblr each day?

an unheathy amount </3 

did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

hmm i don’t really indulge in drama usually so no >.< there was that one time deobiblr boolied me into admitting i bias kevin moon if that counts u.u (and i lost obviously) 

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

they’re my blogs, my safe spaces ;;;; so i ask people understand i rb what i want to... (even tho i feel guilt every time i rb anything that’s not content content... lmaooooo) 

do you like tag games?

i do bc i really love hearing from moots / friends ! but i always feel bad about them bc a.) i get tagged in a lot and sometimes i just forget and leave them in my drafts, b.) don’t want to spam too many personal posts (bc people follow me for content ?? i think so spamming personal posts makes me feel bad T-T) and c.) idk which mutuals to tag bc i don’t want to be annoying (and i’m too scaredkjfgdkj) so i sometimes don’t do tags bc of that 

do you like ask games?

yes ! but same logic as above point b.) LOL tho i really like rambling / talking and interacting with people i think a good portion of my followers just don’t care for that so i keep it to a minimum where i can ;;;; s*dly 

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

a lot of them actually fdkjgkdfg i always consider myself a small blog or outsider in the communities i claim to be a part of ;;; but i get really lucky and people like my gifs ! like on my enha blog even tho it’s like 9 days old there are some what i would consider “big enha blogs” that follow me ^^ (and then of course tumblr users @ shuaway and hongminchy are so famous i’m honored to be moots with them :p) 

do you have a crush on a mutual?

did you mean all of them :p ? no but i do have ... like ;;;; cc or friend crushes ... people i really like content / tags from and want to be friends with but i’m just too s0cially anxi0us to initiate conversations so i end up just admiring from afar <3

tags?

i’ll tag @minatual @bloomblooms and @baejoonyoung ! (only if you want to do this tho no obligations feel free to ignore !) (OH ALSO pls no one feel obligated to follow any of my other side blogs ;-; i am not joking when i say i am a bit of a nuisance u.u HAHA) 

[cazzyvintage]

Tagged by @silverlambcaptain thank you!

1. Why did you choose your url?

For so long on the internet, I had stuck with another username, and I decided with this account I would make a new start. My name is Catherine irl so I kept with the C and I felt the name Cazzy was very snazzy (see what I did there) so I just randomly choose that, then I got imagines simply because I was going to write imagines

2. Any side blogs?

Yep, I recently created @cazzyreblogs and I really need to start using it more

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

Coming up to two months I think? I wasn't allowed to when I was younger or I would have heavily been in the superwholock fandom, so it was probably a good thing I was banned from it, but after I saw the 3rd episode of TFAWS I knew I wanted to write about Zemo, Quotev and Wattpad thing I wrote never really got any attention so I thought I would try Tumblr and I'm so glad I did

4. Do you have a queue tag?

Ngl Idk what this is, I'm assuming it's something about if I queue what I post? If it is then only one-shots, my one-shots always do better in the evenings so if I finish before them then I'll queue them to be released around 9PM or 10PM

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

Pretty much answered it above on 3 but all down to Zemo

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

It was originally my main comfort character Loki but I changed it to an avatar that looks like myself because I knew if I kept it as fictional characters I would be changing it all the time

7. Why did you choose your header?

I was looking through the picture section of my drive and found it, it used to be my screen saver for my Chromebook so I thought I would use it as Doctor who is my main comfort show and the 11th Doctor was my first comfort character/character I loved

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

A Freudian slip! Which is crazy as it was only the second thing I wrote on here and I was still trying to get used to writing in second person

9. How many mutuals do you have?

13 I believe, I'd love to have lots more but social anxiety really gets to me at times

10. How many followers do you have?

745, and I love you all so much 😘

11. How many people do you follow?

34, see I really need to start following more people!

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

(may have just had to look this up) but nope!

13. How often do you use Tumblr each day?

I come on every few hours, answer messages, post something random, look through all of Daniel's tags then leave again

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Nope, and I hope I never will

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

I like spreading awareness of things, things that people need to know about but I don't like when posts are very demanding about it. Still, when I see important stuff about awareness coming up on my dash I try to repost it.

As for those 'repost or...' as a kid, I did because I was very superstitious but after golden Freddie didn't kill me when I didn't repost one I think I'm safe 😁👍

16. Do you like tag games?

When I have enough energy to answer them, yes!

17. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

@therenlover they after all kick-started the Zemo/Daniel fandom with One last night in madripoor which inspired me to start writing Zemo content and I'm sure so many others, plus they are always putting out so many good fics!

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Nope, but hey never know maybe one day in the future!

20. No pressure tags:

@vincentdepartment @rumblelibrary @arianalilyblack @multiyfandomgirl40

[pjstafford]

Letter to The Truly Like Lightning Book Club

I’m a person who likes to write, but I know I sometimes make spelling or grammatical mistakes which annoy people. I apologize in advance.

I do tend to be pretty open and honest about my feelings and I do feel deeply.

I kind of like social media to be upbeat and positive. I don’t really like to knock it too much when it isn’t. What’s the point!? Social Interaction between humans is sometimes problematic no matter what form it takes.

I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. When it is triggered I have a flight response. On Twitter that means making my Twitter footprint smaller. I want to be smaller to protect myself. Yesterday, though, it seemed like I was being told that as small as my footprint had gotten, I wasn’t small enough. What do I do now? How small can I go before I’m gone.

I truly don’t know where to go with something that is not a life threatening problem, not a rocket science issue, but is a little thing about a book club. I believe it was The Who who sang this is not a social crisis, but just another tricky day for you. This morning is a Tricky day. I am really wondering...

Do we cancel the book club?

Do we have a steering committee to organize it differently?

Do we go off twitter?

Do we have a different facilitator?

Should I leave social media, maybe shave my head and take a vow of silence?

How I feel about this is extremely foolish and really desperately sad with just a smidge of anger.

I feel foolish because I thought the book club was going really, really well. I have loved the discussion. It has deepened my understanding of the book which I already enjoyed. It’s been fun. Imagine my surprise to find out there are issues. The sad and angry piece is a little complicated. So let me put the issues out first since that is what the club needs to discuss today. This is the fourth book club I have facilitated on Twitter. It has been my most pleasant experience until today. Every club has been formatted exactly the same. Apparently this one might need some restructuring.

1. When is the appropriate amount of time following a book’s publication to allow to pass before doing a public book club where people who may not be in the book club could still see the discussion? People who might read the book in the future or had started the book and wasn’t as far along might have spoilers. It’s a valid concern, but Twitter isn’t known for being a spoiler free zone. If a program drops on the East Coast two hours before my time, before I can watch spoilers exist on Twitter. However this book dropped February 2 and we waited until March 1st to begin the book club. We have a # but when people respond they don’t always use the #. Also some people don’t follow me and they are not part of the book club but because people retweet the questions they were showing up on people’s timeline when they didn’t want them there. So the compromise we arrived at was no body can retweet any question or response and every response must have the #. I’m still confused, though, about the rules. Movies/television =immediate spoilers acceptable, books= a month to six weeks is too soon. I was told it’s not a matter of rules but being nice. Ok. I want to be nice but what is the appropriate time because sometimes I don’t read a book for years? If we postpone the book club for six months, a year, three years, thirty? With the compromise reached, why do I care? Because why are we being so quiet and circumspect about a book I think people ought to know about and read. Sometimes social media helps create a buzz. What a shame that a book club that is reading the book critically and in depth is, to some degree, being told to not be so loud because, you know, Twitter is a spoiler free zone. To be clear, I think the persons who raise the concerns did so for legitimate reasons and out of concerns for future readers of the book, but when we talk about the reasons I am sad and angry you will see why this upset me we much. it’s not their fault but I responded poorly and I’m still coming down from my PTSD spiral.

2. Perhaps, the problem is that Twitter isn’t the appropriate forum for a book club. Maybe Discord or private messages or zoom. Yes. This is the fourth book club I’ve hosted on Twitter. I was asked in March last year if I would start a book club due to quarantine. They’ve all been successful so far. Why do I feel so silenced? Again I don’t think the person who suggested this meant anymore than oh, let’s solve the spoiler problem. But I have a particular reason for not wanting to be silenced.

3. Some people have read the full book already and want to talk about the book in its entirety. I see that. I really do. I just have never had a book club like that. That means waiting longer. Some people like the chapter a day. Should we do multiple book clubs ?

4. Are the questions too serious? The subject matter is complex. Would a different facilitator be more appropriate? One who wouldn’t highlight the controversial and serious issues!

Why am I sad and a little angry? Why did my PTSD kick in outside of it being a bad year and a stressful time at work and I’m tired? Haven’t had a day off I a long while. (No complaints I have a job). I’m tired.

April 2017 I started the Twitter account @hearteyes4david. I had help but it was mostly me. I kind of love David Duchovny’s writing. I have blogged about it and have said someday he will have a break out novel. I believe Truly Like Lightning should be it. But the account showed love for all things David and I believe it gave some fans some fun. I enjoyed being a part of it. We had newsletters and contests. But for me, I an first and foremost a fan of David’s writing. I write. I admire writers. His writing should not be diminished by his other careers. In March of last year with the lock down I was asked to facilitate a Miss Subways book club, then the lock down went on so we did his other two books. Twitter and hearteyes have been my happy place in this year. It’s hard when your happy place feels threatening.

I was fortunate enough to get an advance digital copy of the book to read. Wow. Different! Great! It is not because I am 😍. This is one of the best books I’ve read this century. I am an avid reader. I have a critical eye. I wrote a spoiler free review. Almost immediately a fan contacted me. Because of spoilers you shouldn’t have posted this. Why don’t you do a DM for those who are interested? Don’t do spoilers. It’s a spoiler free review. This fan continued to tell me that it would be best not to post about the book. ( you know, spoilers). Then fans who had not read the book but knew for a fact that every other page was full of sex scenes and drugs and it was essentially exactly like Californication (not remotely) started saying nothing should be posted on the 😍 page about this book. Then a fan who hadn’t read it complained about how it handled religion and said it would cause her personal pain to see anything about this book on the 😍 page. I kept saying. I actually don’t care if you read it or not. My suggestion is you mute, block or unfollow the account if you don’t like the content. “But the pain, could we at least not do the book club? “. 🥺🥺🥺. I was convinced that rather than have the controversy on the 😍 page I would choose to leave my happy place account I had created to start a small account and my fan related activities became far more focused. It might not seem like much, but the decision to leave 😍 was hard, but I wanted to talk about this book. These aren’t the only reasons but the three pronged fans really angry at me for a book I didn’t write which wasn’t even published yet was challenging during the holiday season of 2020. I made my Twitter footstep smaller. I passed the account to Charmion who is doing great.

So then I waited till March to talk about the book. In the meantime “fans” who hadn’t read the book, immediately started to spread lies and mistruths about the book including selective out of context screen shots. So much for “Spoilers”. Still I waited until March. So now I have a smaller account followed by 100 people which very few “super fans” know about and about 5-7 of us are talking about this book. That’s it. For 18 days we have discussed the difficult, complex flawed characters and how the book demonstrates that these characters actions caused harm to other characters and yet left us with empathy for all. We have not always agreed. It’s a book club. Reading one chapter a day.

Yet somehow we are too loud. My tweets were being retweeted. You know, have to be concerned about spoilers. Were there 15 hate filled tweets from people who shared screen caps they were sent of random out of context paragraphs, people who proudly say they haven’t read the book, don’t need to, they’re experts, 15 for every one of mine. Of course. But I’m too loud. You know. Spoilers

So I am sad. Desperately so. I walked away from an account I had poured a lot of love into because I believed in a book I wanted to talk about. After being pretty involved in the fandom, my current activities are pretty narrowed. I’m not sure I can continue to facilitate the book club. I guess my days involved in “fandom” outside of being a fan are drawing to a close. My happy place is kind of gone.

I’m angry because this book deserves to be critically read on its merits. I’m angry because I don’t like my voice to be silenced. I’m angry because I think there are fans who actually like the book who are in fact concerned about spoilers, but they don’t realize by silencing or at least quieting the discussion of fans who have read and want to discuss the book, they are only allowing the space for the haters voices to be heard. I’m angry at myself because every step of the way I should have handle this differently. I’m angry because I shouldn’t care so much. It’s not a Jan 6 insurrection, climate change, or world peace. It’s a book by an author who don’t need me to fight these battles.

Finally I’m simply confused about where or what to do. With an account of 100 followers some people who don’t follow me think I’m too loud because I’m posting about something they don’t want on their feed (David’s book) and someone might repost me. Because I feel threaten by people telling me too get smaller my response is to try and get smaller. So I shouldn’t post about David’s book because there are people in he fandom who don’t want to see posts about David’s book. Ok. I should come on Twitter and never interact because that way no one will ever see a post from me they don’t want to see🤷‍♀️. Mercy, I’m on a lobbyist, have you guys seen the political stuff I post on my other account? Yep, probably just the fandom stuff I need to walk away from except for, you know, being a fan, but never discussing it.

[rnegitsune]

Ok so I thought I'd put together some horror stories from my time as a babymetal fan bc of how drastic the shift in the fandom has been the past year or so. For context I got into babymetal in like june of 2014 (all 3 girls were still underage at the time, I was 22; when I first got into them I thought I would be considered an older fan lmao the naivete, the innocence of new fan me wow I know now I'm not at all in the older half of the fandom esp considering I was born the same decade as su and moa), and I made this blog in I think may of 2015.

I've had people say I should compile men being gross into a post and I just couldn't do that out of fear for my own mental health but this will be pretty close. These are all my experiences with this fandom over the years; I'm definitely missing some but what I do remember should do well to cover most of how this fandom used to be vs now. It's gonna be a lot and tw for men being gross about minors.

Back in my first year or so of this blog I on multiple occasions got dms from men asking to be friends. At the time my bio only said my name and my pronouns. I've always been cautious of dms so I'd ask their age and every single one was considerably older than me. I wouldn't usually answer after that bc no thanks but they would generally try to continue convos til I blocked. The only one I still had was this one

After I put my age in my bio, which was 23 at the time, I never got a dm like that again; take from that what you will. But if you're young please be wary of this hell fandom even now. And if you're an older fan and esp an older male fan reading this, don't dm people trying to be friends. I was over 18 and it still creeped me out to no end.

One of my real first men in this fandom are disgusting moments was a blog back in like 2015 or 2016 who I had some contact with due to common interests; he was a huge yui stan and made bm content. He was like 28 or 29 at the time and I eventually noticed he would tag idols, mostly kpop girls, by their body parts (legs, butt, etc) which is disgusting enough as it is but then I saw him do the same for literal minors, like tzuyu from twice. I messaged him asking what the hell he was doing objectifying women but also actual children and he blocked me lmao. He later unblocked me to let me know that's just how he tagged things and it was my fault he had anxiety and then he blocked me again.

Back before the tumblr purge this fandom was repulsive to a degree I cannot even begin to describe. Someone would reblog something from me, I'd go to their blog and it would be underage jpop idols and japanese p*rn all the way down. I even stumbled upon a man editing underage su into p*rn gifs. Obviously no proof of that but I did go find my initial reaction to it

The number of times I'd get a follow from someone then go to their blog and it would be as mentioned above or their bio would be the most misogynistic trash I'd ever read was staggering. I genuinely considered giving up and deleting this blog so many times bc i felt oberwhelmed and outnumbered by these gross old dudes; and so the fact that this fandom has evolved into a bunch of chaotic wlw?? Amazing, I could cry.

Fun phenomenon of women running bm blogs was men sending messages asking if we liked babymetal. No joke. I think this happened to me two or three times but I spoke w other female creators at the time and it had happened to them as well. My entire blog is babymetal, and yet???

He said the weird guy idk bc he sent some random ass messages vaguely insulting me and when I responded coldly, he acted confused so I said you're some guy idk, hence the above message starting as such. Also that pic and the one up above that has my current pfp bc I just took those screenshots. Like I said I typically blocked weird dms but I guess these passed me by so I still had the messages.

Most people know the sub reddit is the worst and don't need me to tell you but it's a hellscape and I highly recommend avoiding it. A short list of things I've had to see as a result of going there: men discussing at length kano and momoko's appearances and how they look in costume vs in normal clothes. Men discussing at length the hope that the girls would marry men who aren't Japanese, a thread that was from when all 3 girls were underage. They aren't gonna marry you dude they're really not.

The insulting of billie Eilish, a 17 year old at the time, was horrible too. Su and moa got to meet her, something they were extremely excited for, and they posted a pic; the comments were disgusting as you can imagine. The yui rumors were terrible too, fatshaming, slutshaming etc all based on nothing. Some man saying the rumors about yui leaving bc, no joke this was a real rumor, she "got too fat" couldn't be true bc "look at saya." Saya being a barely 18 yo back up dancer who covered the third spot after yui left but before the avengers. Not to mention the upskirt shots from when they were minors, the constant editing of their faces onto explicit photoshoots etc. I remember being a new fan looking for a su pic on google and being horrified at the fact that one of the top suggested results after her name was “bikini;” she was 16 at the time. Also, the uptick in massively creepy posts and messages sent to bm blogs as each girl, but esp moa and yui, approached 18 was disgusting.

Now for some personal nonsense. A big reason why I haven't touched my youtube channel in months is bc I got tired of dealing with the men of this fandom. I poke fun at metal and get told I deserve to die. I say ped*philes and creepy men are gross and get a swarm of middle aged men cursing at me. Had a guy cry about how men are shamed for liking bm and then he turned around and said some gross shit about wlw. Had a guy call me racist for liking a band he also likes (and despite him having no way of knowing my own race) and tell me the babymetal fandom doesn't need my kpop feminist bullshit, which is honestly a great description and I thought about putting it in my yt about lmao. Had a middle aged man unironically say he'd never seen a man be creepy towards bm but fans su and moa's ages calling them hot was creepy. The disillusionment....the level of unawareness is astounding. If you want to see screenshots of some of these comments they are fairly recent in my don't mind me tag; I don't want to see them anymore tho bc they're infuriating so I'm not going to look at them to post here.

Essentially I haven't looked at my channel since may bc men are exhausting and rude and refuse to examine the fandoms they're a part of no matter what. They're told by a woman of the fandom that she's had bad experiences personally and they all start crying about how it's either a lie bc they haven't seen it or unimportant. I did stop reading comments in may and I will never read another one again probably as a result of this shit. Trash men being trash are not worth my time and I refuse to give them anymore of it. I do plan on making more videos tho and let my ~feminist kpop bullshit~ live in their minds rent free.

I will also continue to make fun of metal and the creepy men in this fandom bc it's important and I'm a spiteful asshole who likes disrupting these dudes perfect bubble of a fandom. It genuinely brings me so much joy seeing all the new fans recently (which sidenote if you got into them recently I am kinda curious as to how you found them; I've gotten tons of new followers and considering how inactive they are rn I'm curious). People sending messages about how they finally feel like they belong or that they have a safe space....like I don't even know what to say and I never feel like my responses fully convey how genuinely wonderful that is and how thrilled I am that this is where we're at now and I have had at least some part in it. As this post shows, my experiences have been negative for the most part so the shift recently is such a relief I cannot even begin to explain my gratitude.

So to anyone who read all of this and hasn't disintegrated from the male bullshit, thank you. Keep being yourself and fighting for your place in this fandom, esp if you're a young woman; keep making fun of the creeps and keep making wlw memes!! Babymetal's music is in such a huge way meant for girls and to see more and more finding their way to this previously hellish beyond belief fandom is incredible.

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

so i’d really like to finish my guardian takedown lore analysis, but honestly the game isn’t really fun to play at the moment anymore (even with the health debuffs they added) so I think im going to be taking a break for now because I’m just not having fun anymore.

this game has a lotta mechanical problems i think need to be addressed so im gonna summarize it as bullet points below. I’ll play the new dlc when it drops, but idk if i’ll be on more than that (grinding, end-game stuff) until they make some serious changes. I’ve been playing (near) daily since launch, followed the patch/hotfix notes every single week, and my patience has finally, FINALLY run dry, especially with that really disappointing Phase 1 Patch and then the hotfix this week not adding anything else. What is the balancing team doing??? 😩

tl;dr: FIX THE VAULT HUNTERS!!!!

anyway. That’s all I needed to get outta my system. I might log on to this blog every now and again to post some random shit that pops into my head (probably with regards to my AU), but I’m not going to be actively playing and posting for the time being. Goodbye (for now), and here’s hoping the new DLC is good!! 

guardian takedown only problems:

there’s a lot of waiting around, and sometimes it’s not explicitly stated that you’re waiting for something, so you’ll be lost on what to do next (not sure if that’s a dialogue glitch or not)

the crystal charge insta-death is bull. just. what the hell. at least make it so you just have to start over. killing ur players for failing a “puzzle” that they then have to fight all the way back to is so infuriating.

dying because you fell off a platforming puzzle is also bull. 

i remember playing the first DMC on my playstation in middle school and having a conniption over the part in the observatory(? it’s been a hot minute since I played DMC 1) with the disappearing/invisible platforms. I h a t e jumping puzzles. why are they in a section of the game where death is semi-permanent and a detriment to your teammates. i tried the takedown 2x with friends and both times one friend didn’t make the first big jump to the temple and had to wait for our inevitable deaths. that’s so unfair to them.

there’s absolutely no reason for a boss to have 12 fuckin immunity phases. 4 per health bar with 3 health bars? Who the fuck designed this? *pumps shotgun* i just wanna talk. 

i appreciate a tasteful immunity phase every now and again (the ones in the Valkyrie fight are actually p reasonable), but christ. that is overkill. I don’t mind the main boss fight, since u can end those early through certain actions, but jesus. the mid-boss fight is annoying as hell. you spend more time running from the immunity phases and finding the damn boss than u do actually shooting it.

drop rates are crap, which I guess should be expected given what happened with the Maliwan Takedown and the handful of months it took for them to fix that, but also you think they’d have learned.

in the maliwan takedown there’s a sense of progression thru the facility after you kill each area’s batch of enemies, but in this one it’s... dampened by the crystal charging sequences. you kill all the enemies in an area, press a button, and now you have to kill 3x that number of enemies in the same area, expect you’re just standing there motionless. It’s not fun.

the crystal charging stuff is just not fun in general. standing in a square is not entertaining. it’s worse that it was clearly designed for 3+ players when a majority of people play/grind solo

i gotta admit the boss fights just aren’t as fun as the Maliwan Takedown fights overall. I felt like a real badass fighting Wotan for the first time, but the main boss for this Takedown is kind of a bitch. Wotan’s fight is chaos, there’s so much shit happening at once and you don’t really have time to process everything and I love it. This one is p meh...

This would be fine and I’d 100% not care that much if there weren’t all these OTHER problems

General Issues with the Game

There’s no endgame stuff to play outside of the takedowns. 

I assume they’re working on the first raid given some stuff I found in the Guardian Takedown files, but I really wish they’d keep the seasonal events/areas. They give us the option to disable/enable them while they’re ‘active’, just give us the ability to do it whenever we want.

when i hop on i either run through Athenas (my favorite map), or farm a boss or two. I have all the loot i really need from the maliwan takedown/elsewhere, and the guardian takedown just... isn’t fun atm, so i have nothing to do.

I’ve reset my playthru multiple times to play the main story at m10, but u can only play it (and the dlc) so many times

Mayhem levels and modifiers are a hot m e s s

a majority of the modifiers just aren’t fun to play with

they incorporated like 2-3 fun modifiers (from the community), then added a bunch that straight-up aren’t. I’m fine with the game being more difficult, but at least give us modifiers that make it more entertaining to play at a higher level instead of more annoying. I like the ones that have trade-offs or add new ‘enemies’, but I hate the ones that just straight up reduce your damage output.

a majority of the weapons with the mayhem 10 anointment (scaling) do not work on mayhem 10 (we’ll go more in-depth with this later)

Player Characters (Vault Hunters!!!) are also a hot mess and a lot of problems plaguing them haven’t been fixed SINCE LAUNCH

theyre literally the basis of the game and its balance. why havent you guys fixed them yet. stop adding new content until they’re fixed. no new skill trees until the base 3 trees work ON EVERY CHARACTER.

seriously. Why is amara p much limited to using Phasegrasp. Why does Iron Bear not matter to Moze except to proc anointments. MAKE ALL ACTION SKILLS EQUAL AND HAVE HEFT.

i wrote an essay here about it bc i feel that strongly about this

SERIOUSLY FIXING UR VAULT HUNTERS WILL MAKE BALANCING SO MUCH EASIER PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU THEY ARE THE BASE OF UR BALANCING WOES

ZANE IS STILL UNUSABLE WITHOUT THE SEEIN’ DEAD CLASS MOD!!!!!!!!!!!

MOZE IS SCREWED BC HER DAMAGE IS TOO RELIANT ON ASE ANOINTMENTS!!

AMARA DOESN’T HAVE A FUCKING MELEE BUILD AS THE ADVERTISED MELEE CHARACTER???

FL4K’S HEADCOUNT SKILL IS S T I L L BROKEN EVER SINCE THE RELEASE OF THE MALIWAN TAKEDOWN

ARE YOU GUYS LISTENING TO THE COMMUNITY *PLEASEEEEEEE*

BUFF AND FIX THE GODDAMN VAULT HUNTERS

Anointments were a mistake. Damage end-game is wayyyy too reliant on them

anoints should have a maximum of, like, a 20% damage bonus. the damage necessary to kill enemies *should be coming from the VHs themselves*. i don’t care if you have to revamp every single Vault Hunter’s skill trees and buff them all by 9000%. THEY DESERVE IT AT THIS POINT

at the moment in m10 there really isn’t much build diversity *even between Vault Hunters*. We’re all using the same 5 guns (OPQ System. Kaoson. idk. fuckin brainstormer? is that still a thing? jesus fuck) with the same 3 anointments (100% on ASE, cryo while SNTL, and 300% while 90%).

you want to diversify builds like you said during the gameplay reveal???? you want our choice in Vault Hunter to actually fuckin matter???? FIX THEM!!!! THEY SHOULD BE ABLE TO DEAL DAMAGE WITHOUT STUPID POWERFUL LEGENDARIES AND ANOINTMENTS!!!

Anoints also shouldn’t be common. At all. They should be, like, Pearl rarity. To let that happen, their damage needs to be tuned way the fuck down (again, 20ish % bonus MAX) and ALL ANOINTS NEED TO BE USEFUL IN SOME WAY

NOBODY IS GOING TO USE THE AIRBORNE OR SLIDING ANOINTMENTS JUST REMOVE THEM ALREADY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

obviously these changes can’t happen because they fucked up and buckled down with everything being anointed in m10, but still

imagine a world where the VHs actually did damage on their own without anointments and the damage buff from them was just an incentive to grind for the 100% perfect weapon and NOT A REQUIREMENT TO DEAL DAMAGE

>:(

A majority of gear is borderline worthless at M10

I’m fine with the difficulty of M10, i should let it be known. The enemy health isn’t really the problem IF ALL GUNS ACTED THE SAME AS THE OPQ SYSTEM

ffs.

you know, if you fixed ur vault hunters so they all did damage with just purple weapons (abt the same damage as legendaries w/o special effects) and removed the anointment requirement from late-game play, balancing your guns would be sooo much easier. you know. just saying.

right now only 10% (im being generous) of guns in the game are viable. 90% are worthless. We need AT LEAST 60-70% viable at M10. WHERE IS MY BUILD DIVERSITY. WHY ARE ALL LEGENDARIES NOW JUST “HEY THIS GUN IS STRONGER THAN THE LAST 4 WE RELEASED. HAVE FUN”

how to fix this problem? do as above: BUFF YOUR PLAYER CHARACTERS. MAKE ANOINTMENTS LESS STRONG.

then, at least the 10% already strong weapons would be stupid strong and OP as fuck, BUT AT LEAST WE COULD HAVE BUILD VARIETY!!! I don’t care if other people are dummy strong one-shotting everything in sight. I don’t! so long as they don’t play with me, I couldn’t care less!!! I want to be able to play with the unique, interesting legendaries. instead of the OPQ System. which, by the way, I dislike compared to the normal Q-System. let me use the frozen heart shield and the infiltrator mod. I don’t wanna be chained to the Seein’ Dead anymore :(

honestly at this point im starting to think removing slag was a mistake bc then at least we could use guns that aren’t solely damage-based guns. you know how fucked up you’ve got me that im thinking maybe slag wouldn’t be so bad this time around??? YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP B A D.

FIX THE GAME

IM TAKING A BREAK

MAYBE I’LL BE LESS UPSET WHEN I COME BACK FOR THE DLC BUT HOT. DIGGITY. SHIT.

[fleetingfigures]

|| 2020: A Retrospective ||

With the year coming to a close soon, thank god, I thought it’d be cool to take a look back and see what’s transpired in FFXIV as well as this blog! Anyone also reading this, I invite to do the same, if you have time of course. It’s always nice to close out the year thinking of the positives. Though, without further ado let’s goooo~

Blog-Related

- Actually, well, started using this thing! Met a lot of cool peeps and had the chance to actually break out into the world RP thanks to it.

- Almost hit 100 followers, just 5 shy! 

- Top 10 Posts of the Year!

1). Promise Me You’ll... 116 notes - Aug 19 2020 

First and only post I’ve had reach 100 notes! Mighty proud of the posing I pulled off for this, and who knows, I might make a sequel in due time. WoL!AU’s are still very much my weakness. And G’raha. He’s a weakness of mine too, if it wasn’t readily apparent already.

2). LFRP - Saerno Glista (Balmung/Crystal DC)  75 notes - Jan 28 2020. 

Ah... My old LFRP. I even updated it, but I feel the need to change it again, especially given the fact I’m Giving my Carrd a complete overhaul. Might do the same to this blog too lmao. New Year new me as they say, but in actuality a lot has occurred for a certain catboy and things must be adjusted.

3). I Was Busy Thinking ‘Bout Boys  70 notes - Dec 5 2020

I was surprised this even got the attention it did lol. Seems NPC-related content is my most popular stuff. Also I am highly disappointed no one could recognize Arnott from the HW anima weapon quests. Y-yea he’s a very minor NPC, but I think he’s a cutie.

4). Black Mage is a Fun Class 51 notes - May 6 2020

The first of my fun class series! Originally wasn’t supposed to be a series at all, but I decided that every class in the game deserved some love! Also can I just say how much I love staves? Oh and the pagos bandana. It fits oddly well Sae imo.

5). Eden’s Promise Eternity 46 notes - Dec 18 2020

One of my more recent posts, and one not all too involved in the posing. Though, like I said in the post, the MOMENT I saw that arena, I fell in love with its lighting. OST is also a banger. Glad that people enjoyed random glamour shots with Gshade improving the already good lighting.

6). A Guide to Arcanima 42 notes - Sep 28 2020

The post I put the most time into... Photoshopping became so tedious at some points, but it was well worth it! I’m proud of the result and the opportunity to share some of my views upon the RP-flexibility of Arcanima.

7). Random Shower Thought 32 notes - Feb 9 2020

...I genuinely do not remember making this post.

8). Astrologian is a Fun Class 31 notes - Nov 30 2020

My old healing main, but still without a doubt the most beautiful class in the game. I wish Tumblr didn’t restrict gif sizes, but I understand the need for people’s devices to not implode when loading resources. So much grain could be reduced and more detail could be added, but alas. The screenshot at the end is still my favorite screenshot of Sae I’ve taken, even if it’s not IC.

9). Crystarium Coat of Scouting 29 notes - Mar 20 2020

And I still stand by my statements today. Since last tier is a patch behind us now, I could spare some augments to finally dye the coat. And, like a basic bitch, I’ve made Saerno’s ninja Rogue glamour jet black as far as the eye can see; all leather, of course. What is a rogue really without their leather?

10). 26 notes - Nov 16 2020

One of my first gifsets next to my Ninja ones! It Showcases the wonderful land of La Noscea, Sae’s only true home, and highlights some of his personal favorite areas! Hence why Limsa is barely pictured. He likes the city, but growing up in the country makes one appreciate the more natural side of La Noscea.

(Created by TumblrTop10)

In-Game

- Levelled all classes to 80! Though it does feel a bit hollow not being able to get xp for doing stuff now...

- Started Raiding... Well, seriously. I used to be a scrub and only do e1,e5 and e6 savage in PF, but a friend’s static needed a healer and they all but convinced me I was good enough to join. It’s been a hell of a ride, I’ll finally be going into e12s soon, but my experiences thus far have been awesome to say the least. I feel like I’m actually getting the most out of this game now that I both savage raid and take the time to RP.

- FINALLY GOT A HOUSE ON BALMUNG. 

God was the release of the new wards hella stressful. Stayed up all night, logged on the second I could, booted up next to the ferryman. Didn’t get my ideal plot, but got the neighboring one. I finally got to house something with more than 100 slots, and for that, I am eternally thankful.

- Finished those goddamn Shared Fates. And all so I could get a piece of music and possibly make a few million gil selling other SHB area themes. Crystarium night theme is the GOAT and you cannot tell me otherwise.

Roleplay

- Actually RP’ed outside of my circle of friends! Now I haven’t had the time recently to seriously go back to it like I once did, but the things I’ve learned and the people I’ve met... I wouldn’t trade it for the world. With this upcoming new year, and me taking a small break from Uni, I think I’ll begin in earnest again! First I’ve gotta update all these damn sites first to better reflect where Saerno is now.

- New Plotlines realized, old ones closed up. It’s cathartic and oh so satisfying, in a way, to see your OC go through legitimate change and to have them put a cap upon a phase of their life, slowly moving on to the next. While Saerno is still as brash as ever, he’s begun to realize just how fragile his life is. To slow down, to sit back, rest, to think about the direction his life is headed, that is the essence of his new arc.

- Secrets to uncover. To keep things brief and without many spoiler, Saerno has made the transition from Arcanist to Summoner, but with it comes its own host of problems, ones that Saerno has to grapple lest things take a turn for the worse.

- Potential Alts. Well, now that I have money again... I may actually follow through on one of the many alt ideas I’ve had, some tangentially tied to Saerno’s own story, others completely unrelated. A tailor with an unrequited love that’s inspired him throughout his hardships? Perhaps the prodigal daughter of a family whose cunning nature only fuels her desire of pure freedom? Or maybe the son of Doman liberators, trying desperately to gain the approval and praise of others so that his parents’ name do not die out completely. So many choices... 

And, well, that’s all! So far while 2020 has been quite terrible, at least I have these moments to look back upon fondly. Thanks to any and all of your who have been here this year, and here’s to hoping for a wonderful 2021!