#me when i'm stupid me when i'm an idiot
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once again this image becomes relevant
#rat rambles#me when i'm stupid me when i'm an idiot#ME WHEN I DON'T SAVE A GOOD 2-3 HOURS OF GAME PROGRESS 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥#FUCK MY SMALL PENIS LIFE
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"Jason just needs to see things from his family's perspective and understand how much they love him (despite them never actually communicating or showing him through their actions)" is out. "The batfamily putting a single bit of effort into understanding Jason and reconciling with him on his own terms" is in.
#my dc posting#jason todd#dc#like genuinely i am sooo tired of the first#like yes yes jason is a stupid unstable idiot who misunderstands everything and somehow comes to the most stupid#wrong conclusions ever and he just needs to see things from his family's perspective#and learn how much they loved and missed him when he was dead WHATEVERRR can you shut uppp#cus yknow how many times i've read fic of any of the batfam actually holding jason's opinion as valid or even doing silly lil small things#like 'not horribly invading his privacy' and 'actually respecting his very reasonable boundaries'? VERY rarely.#when will i get to read a fic where jason's extremely valid&understandable complaints and critiques are actually taken to heart and#anyone puts any effort into actually improving themselves and finding a middle ground#but no sorry i forgot. jason's just a fucking idiot who misreads and misunderstands everything his family does bc he's not a goddamn mind#reader who can somehow understand every miniscule twitch of batman's cape#if my dad prioritized my abuser over me i'd be very valid in concluding he might not care for me that much actually </3#i stop being sympathetic to bruce's issues the moment they're used as an excuse for him to mistreat his kids sorryyy#sorry i'm in a pissy mood rn. this isn't directed at any one specific person i'm just annoyed how common this is. it's a whole pattern.#its own genre of jason fic with no warning for it
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important distinction
#i think a lot about emu being like one of the only people to notice that mafuyu's smile was plastered on when she barely even knew her#this girl can take one look at you and immediately know what your entire deal is. she's kind of terrifying in that way#wrentxt#emu to me is that icarly line that's like 'i may be an idiot. but i'm not stupid. 😏'
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horror being very specific with table manners and he berates people (dust and killer) for eating like fucking pigs
i think it'd be morbidly funny that because there was no food in horrortale but the cutlery and stuff was all there that maybe he would pretend to eat with no food on the plate. it was in a satirical way that he would joke maybe around horror paps or alone where he would pretend to eat and have really good table manners but then the satire joke became REAL and now horror is incredibly specific about how to eat food
you MUST hold the fork in the left and knife in right says horror. no killer you can't duel wield the fucking knives this is a table not a slaughterhouse. dust pick up your elbows off the table. actually how about you get your entire upper body off the table tf why are you SLEEPING ON THE FOOD??? killer's sitting fetal position in the chair because of course he wouldn't sit normally like the idiot he is. dust is forced to put his hood down and reveal his face no more mysterious shadow style because it puts horror at ease. they cannot have a single peaceful meal because once they get past the table manners phase it then becomes a completion to see who can eat the least (because they suck at everything including eating)
#hey guys. every time i don't post it feels like i'm abandoning my own children#NOOO im sorry i'll come back home... i wont abandon you chat PLEASE DONT MAKE ME PAY MORE CHILD SUPPORT#i've been a busy little bee i snicker out. and by busy i mean playing. and by playing i mean hi3#i'm sorry my brain literally cannot handle having more than one interest. once i get into something else the other thing becomes ignored#IT MAKE ME SO UPSET BECAUSE WHY CAN'T I DO BOTH OF THESE THINGS I LIKE EQUALLY ☹️☹️☹️☹️ is this a me problem#anyways none of these tags were related to the post. i usually do little extra tidbits adding onto the post when i tag huh#i just recently learned (2 years ago) that youre supposed to put the fork and knife in that order. i still mess it up#i've been drawing on this notebook from the same brand from what i drew on in 2019 AND GODDAMN 🤤🤤🤤#this notebook is SO FUCKING SMOOTH I LOVE IT 🤤🤤 drawing on this paper is like drawing on fucking BUTTER it's delectable#a shame nobody likes traditional art i cry out (i'm not particularly skilled in either traditional or digital)#you could call me a jack of no trades master of none#got this idea bcs i was listening to binomi (HARDCORE MARETU FAN SINCE I GOT A PHONE. WHAT YALL KNOW ABOUT MARETU‼️‼️‼️)#and i was like omg food theme.... horror. so i drew it in earlier mentioned notebook#and i was like hmm what positions should i put the fork and knife. and then i got this idea#i KNOW cannibalism songs aren't exactly horror themed. but let me be delusional i wanna give my boy a cool theme and cannibalism is soo coo#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#tricule hc#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmare's gang#this is funny but in a sad way because i added context to it. as is with all my mtt content#it's comedic because i think they're all stupid fucking idiots but i also make them do this dumb shit bc theyre traumatized
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my parents: punishing and humiliating me under duress and torture for having any kind of reaction, for crying, for complaining, for getting angry, trying to fight back, breaking down or showing any kind of pain and fear
also my parents: increasingly annoyed when they can't easily get a reaction out of me and stooping to worse and more horrid provocations and violence to still be able to get a reaction
#i'm dissociating you freaks#abusive parents#torture mention#toxic parents#child abuse#psychological abuse#conditioning a child to not have a reaction#then torturing the child to get a reaction out of them#and being angry when the child is blank and doesn't react#because you fucking punish every reaction#this is done in torture situations#not in childcare#you stupid idiots#i hate every single thing you did to me while i was dissociating#if i am blank you need to fucking stop#and consider why am I using a trauma dissociation method to survive whatever you're doing to me#and why are you being a life threat to me
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Julian leaves Garak a little cheeky gift one morning, attached with the note "I think this would look great on you ;)"
He is not expecting Jadzia to barge into his office later that day, asking, "Did you know that Garak thinks that a cock ring belongs on a necklace?"
#garashir#stupid trek thoughts#i'm sorry i cackled for about two minutes when this happened upon me as i was going to sleep#these two idiots#wsb
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I already view me and Kate as two separate characters (us both being Fairytale Keepers)
So I like to imagine while Kate is experiencing the usual Elbert route, me and Alfons are in the background trying to save that cat Kate called beautiful.
#I just like to imagine Elbert and Kate softly talking to each other and being cute and sweet#while in the background you see me and Alfons frantically running around trying to save the cat#although Alfons would probably be calm while I'm frantically running around#but I'd like to think we'd be that idiots to lovers trope when the two are smart separately but when together they share a brain cell#I also think I'd be like that with Liam#so when you put us together you get the ultimate stupid trio#and when you are with the stupid trio you will either have the time of your life or be incredibly concerned#ikevil#ikemen villains#alfons sylvatica#ikevil alfons#elbert greetia#ikevil elbert
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ok fellas this post is really different from my other stuff so i'm putting it under the cut for people who don't care and also because i'm slightly embarrassed
ok so. is it unusual for a girl to want to have a deep voice and a flat chest and a more square face and also feel slightly jealous of men and want to sound like them and look like them
and also is it unusual to want to be all that, but also simultaneously not be very bothered very much by how you look right now or by being referred to with she/her except for sometimes when you think about it too much. because i usually don't think about it except for sometimes where i suddenly just get really sad about being a girl or i'll always have this faint feeling that i am just unhappy about it
and also is it unusual to try to ignore it and go about your life being unbothered by it even though deep down it does kinda bother you but you can't really. like. say anything to anyone because your family won't react well and neither will your friends because they'll think it's weird and uncomfortable. i feel afraid to ever feel this way because i know the people in my life won't react well to it
so like. genuine question please lmk wtf is goin on because i'm unsure if it's normal and i've felt like this for a long time and it's confusing me and i don't even know what i'm going to do with the information once i know i'm just sort of lost LMAO
#vent#ig???????????#it's not even funny (it's a little funny) how the only reason i've like. thought about this was because i am becoming#more and more jealous of actors in the musicals i watch#greaseball when i get you. when i get you#like i know it IS possible play as male characters in musicals or something as a girl if i ever wanted to#but the thing is i want to look like them and sound like them and i want to be masculine#this is me questioning my gender on my fucking cats the musical tumblr blog everybody point and laugh#might delete later depending on how embarrassed i get ARGH#I FEEL SHEEPISH#had this in my drafts for a long time but i'm caving in and posting it because i had a bad night last night thinking abt it#and i need to know. also i'm lying in bed having to get up and i don't wanna so i'm making excuses#anyway again. i'm embarrassed feel free to ignore this is so stupid#ok. being brave about this#i don't like being negative on here. idk if it's negative but it might come off that way and i don't want to be awkward#also idk how sharing it here will help. but i don't really know what else to go to#if nobody got me i know tumblr got me can i get an amen#keep adding tags to this like it's going to change anything. post the damn thing idiot#why am i adding so many tags like i'm hyping myself up in the mirror JUST POST IT
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i fucking love prereading. getting documents about what's going to be discussed in a meeting and reading them and then going to the meeting and having context for all the things that are happening. if i could do this in all areas of life i would. send me a list of the words i'm going to need the definition of in order to understand what you will be talking about. give me a rundown of what topics might come up during this social encounter. provide detailed documentation of what to expect in a new setting. i will read the fuck out of that shit.
#me getting off meeting 2 for a project but this time i read their paper first because they sent it in advance: waaowoaoaowaw#you are not just saying words next to each other. these words have meaning#my posts#i went to get new glasses the other day but it was a failure because i forgot everything. forgot my prescription most notably#(idk where my brain is lately but it does not appear to be inside my skull)#but actually i ended up feeling fine about it. because it allowed me to scope out the place. figure out how it works#a little dry run. a little dress rehearsal. now i know that when i do it for real i'm going to go to the third floor#i'm going to go up to the ticket machine and press the button on the touchscreen and get a number#i'm going to go right inside and start looking at frames instead of sitting in the waiting area which is actually for a different departmen#i didn't know any of that and it was stressful but now i know and next time i am going to look and act so normal#also i was able to find out what my actual benefit is and it's really stupid. it's something i wouldn't have guessed in a million years#so it's good i had the opportunity to ask about it during a time when it didn't matter because i couldn't use it anyway#getting glasses is stressful enough because you have to stand around trying on frames like a tool#if there is any other aspect of the process that also makes me feel like an idiot it's just too much to bear. this time i got to spread it#out over two encounters. so hopefully next time the only embarrassing part will be the frames fashion show
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i am papa/isa's biggest hater & don't u fucking forget it
#twinkie talks#Hatoful Boyfriend#YOU KNOW WHAT I'LL PUT IT IN HE TAG#& RUIN EVERYONE'S DAY#apparently some idiot bastard vaguely hinted at me when talking about how much they think it's stupid anyone hates on this ship#like oh i'm sorry. i'm sorry you don't like that i loathe the ship between a teenager & adult. you're weird & i don't like you#IF PAPA/ISA HAS NO HATERS I AM DEAD#stop shipping them please.... isa was a teenager when he met ryuuji... you don't fucking get it you're too yaoi brained it's WEIRD#anyway another reminder that i don't want you here if you like that shit byeeee#& I'LL PUT IT IN THE TAG SO YOU CAN BLOCK ME IN ADVANCE
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one of the most frustrating feelings in the world is when I read a fic or something I really like, and I want to leave a comment or make some gesture of appreciation, but I cannot come up with a single word. the lone rat in my brain is going absolutely ham on a soundboard, and I somehow cannot articulate a single ounce of that to anyone else. sometimes, sometimes, I can at least muster up a "<3!!!!!", but sometimes even that?? is out of reach?? and I really don't quite understand why. what do you mean typing out a heart is beyond me.
#and then sometimes i type out a whole sentence!! and then some wretched beast in my brain goes “wow🙄you sound *real sincere* (lying)”#“why don't you just tell them you hate both them and their work to their face sometime. that would come across better🙄”#and then i delete the sentence. because i can't find a way to word it that actually feels genuine to my stupid idiot brain.#yes i know that this is the world's tiniest violin and that people will be happy to receive even low effort comments and/or emojis#but. knowing and actually internalizing are two different things.#i've been getting a bit? better at commenting? but i am still Not Great.#not trek#this also happens when people give me gifts except i'm Also bad at facial expressions so in my head i'm like “<3!!!!! hooray!”#but the person looking at me just sees :| “i like it” and they're like “but do you really???” and then don't believe me when I say Yes.
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i'm throwing myself off a cliff if i can't get this stupid thing (◉ _ ◉)
#lati speaks#i'm losing my mind guys why do they gotta make this stupid thing so complicated for an idiot creature like me#pls i know what plagiarism is and that it's very bad i'm just very stupid when it comes to this stuff#i'm too poor for this it's pure fucking insanity i hate it
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being perceived as stupid by people who are as smart or smarter than me sucks because it genuinely sucks to feel stupid, but being perceived as stupid by people who are, at least in some ways, dumber than me makes me insane
#bonus venn diagram overlap: my ex who was As Smart As Or Smarter Than me depending on the topic--#but 100% of the times he clearly thought I was stupid HE was completely objectively incorrect and being stupid about it#MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T THINK I'M AN IDIOT YOU'D LISTEN TO ME SOMETIMES AND WE WOULDN'T BE HAVING THIS ARGUMENT.#he also was really good at that thing that happens sometimes where you say something the other person Doesn't Get#and the specific way they don't get it is that they think YOU clearly just said something dumb#you see this one a lot on tumblr#.... I wasn't even thinking about my ex At All when I started this post lmao#but it's also a little easier to complain about this behavior in 'literally has a phd in natural science now' ex bf without feeling mean#than it is to get too specific about the kinds of people who treat me like a big cute dumb potato. lol.#it's a little frustrating having conversations with you sometimes anyway because you miss the point and lose the thread so much#and then YOU infantalize ME??? agsjfkdjsks#about me
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i'm sorry, but jerseykyle is legit every ke$ha song ever written i'm?! BLAHBLAHBLAH???? CANNIBAL???? but like Specifically JOYRIDE like, no, literally Beep Beep, Bitch; I'm Outside ( Best Night Yo Life ) —
Get In Loser,
For The JOYRIDE. ;)
#nina speaks#i am cryiiiiiiing#okay every song excluding One but i blame dr. luke and it being 2000 whatever and the lack of wokeness back them#( we love you mother ke$ha i looooove you mwAH )#but any richter scale breakin freaky ass shakin sleazy breezy beautiful club banger n y2k pop hit abt bein a toxic nasty heaux#was just written about jersey and i MEAN that oh my god#BAD BITCH THEME MUSIC#someone talked to be about hollaback girl and TOO REAL#kyleyb did spell bananas out for gorilla juiceheads frequently#we love a helpful and educated king! thanks baby! aljskasjla#blahblahblah is so real ik when bebe drags him by the ear to college nite at the club and some idiot guy is hitting on him#he is sooooo i don't care where you live it just turn around boy let me hit thatsdjaslkd like if you dont zip yo lips like a padlock#and meet me in the back with the jack and the juxebox AAAA#hes my hero i am very glad he is being rehabilitated for that sex addiction but he was THE MOMENT! THE MOVEMENTTT#JOYRIDE THO???? TOOOOOOOOOO REEEEEEEAL#i cannot hear maneater by nelly fertado without thinking about him jk embodies the freak nasty evil spirit of that song#i want to answer that ask soon bc i have SOOOO much to say nina stop pretending rm is a netflix original series smh#but i can see it vividly...VIIIIIIIIIIVIDLY and im a little blind so thats really saying something; whateva! i'm a visionary baby!#i want to make a playlist for the boys and for my stupid unfinished bfanfic but my music taste gives me the ick so hard#but yeah it's just...i feel this so strongly in my bones#its his ravenstan new perspective / pop punk y2k stanthems
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Devastating news: my brother is a normal person. It doesn't run in the family, I'm just a weird freak for no reason
#i'm exaggerating but not that much. my parents are like that because they're in their 50s. they were young adults once#okay so my brother. 18 years of age. just started his fancy higher studies in maths. tiny baby goatee he's not shaving.#went to a friend's week long birthday party in a house in the countryside#made out with a girl there?? apparently???#started drinking alcohol. and has now been going out longer and more frequently and sleeping at other people's places#and bestie. let me tell you. i was never doing any of that shit. in fact i am not doing any of that still and i'm a few years older#i don't go out much. i have like four or five friends at all times tops. i certainly don't come back late or god forbid sleep over#never drunk alcohol (don't want to. i could! i just don't. i'm the sober idiot in the corner when everyone else is drunk)#never kissed anyone or had a partner or anything of the sort#he decided to sleep over at midnight?? with zero preparation??#buddy it would have to be pouring acid rain for me to have an unplanned sleepover#without my toothbrush? my pyjama? my phone charger? my plushies? possibly my own pillow/blanket? be for real#my brother is a normal teenager/young adults with a social life and no weird hangup about romance and alcohol and spontaneity#and i'm some kind of freak i guess. having a normal time#older sister girlfailure forever i suppose. how the fuck do i feel like my younger brother is cooler and more normal than me???#i don't even want to be like that i like myself i thought i left all this stupid unfounded insecurity behind with school!!#arghhhhhh#wow i have a ramble tag now
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might burst into tears at work idk
#i feel so miserable#my boss sent me a long email getting me in trouble for wearing the school uniform sweatshirt that the students wear#apparently when i wear it it means i'm being disrespectful and casual and misrepresenting the school#and i talked to my coworkers about it and they all agree it's ridiculous but there's nothing we can do about it#because our boss is a very particular boomer who makes his opinions law and also can't stand when women stand up to him#i wanted to email him back and push back on it but my coworkers said basically to let it go because it's no use and it'll iust piss him off#but i hate breaking rules. i wouldn't have worn it if i'd known it was a rule#so i feel like a fucking idiot and i'm also mad because it's a stupid rule and i hate the way my boss bullies me#but i don't know what to do. i like my job and i love my kids but i hate my boss#i just want to cry#and the thing is every coworker i talk to agree that he's a miserable old boomer who hates women#but they always excuse him? or just give up and lay down and die? i want to push back on the bastard#and at least let him know that one person (someone he doesn't value: a young woman) is not going to back down to him#i don't know. i'm so upset. i don't know what to do#and it feels stupid to be so upset but this is just the most recent in a long line of bs i've dealt with from him#so i'm just. miserable :)
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