#me when i finally get affection: i want to kill myself
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catboyrightsdefender · 1 year ago
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me every evening when the usual late evening sadness starts creeping in: by talos this can't be happening
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bloodyke · 1 year ago
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next person to bring up project 2025 to fearmonger support for genocide joe is getting blown up i cannot stand you bitches
#zenith.txt#yall know NOTHING#you only have 1 talking point and its never worked#if you want people to vote you need to give them something to vote FOR not something to vote against or else all arguments are meaningless#second of all who the fuck do you think is currently laying the groundwork for project 2025? its literally biden#all the shit you fear is gonna happen is ALREADY STARTED UNDER HIS PRESIDENCY#third of all you all sound like fucking GHOULS when you say 'yeah genocide is bad but if we dont vote itll inconvenience ME this time'#what the fuck is wrong with you#joe biden will not get a second term that is a fact and it will be his own fault#if you guys ACTUALLY cared about these issues you would be mobilizing in your communities instead of yelling vote blue no matter who#its the fact that weve known about project 2025 for a whole year now but yall are only just now bringing it up bc people#are criticing biden more than ever and it scares you that your precious status quo is being challenged#legitimately fuck all of you trying to weaponize the fears of marginalized communities#the privilege in saying that under repubs things will get worse...#itll get worse FOR YOU. all of the things you worry about finally affecting YOU are literally already fucking happening#to black and brown (particularly black and brown disabled people) for DECADES#and im saying this from a place of privilege being white myself#yes i am a gay disabled puerto rican but i am white first and have been able to for the most part avoid a lot of the shit that has been#KILLING my family and the people in my communities#all of the things youve been saying will happen in project 2025 are things i have already fucking watched happen to the people around me#the only difference between now and this hypothetical project 2025 is now it will effect white people too#and thats the only reason yall even fucking care about it because now YOUR life is going to terrible and YOU cannot ignore it anymore#everything you criticized trump for biden and his team also does.#yall are so fucking pathetic wringing your hands and spouting the lie of electoralism but you refuse to do anything#that could enact meaningful change beacuse the point is you guys dont actually want change#the only thing yall want is to have people stop talking about all of this so you can continue to walk around with your head down#and not be inconvenience in your daily life bc you actually enjoy the status quo#saying you have to vote for the wolf in sheeps clothing over the wolf is not fucking better they are the exact same thing#and its time yall opened your fucking eyes to the world around you#'i domt support genocide but-' THERE IS NO BUT HERE.
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insanechayne · 4 months ago
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~ ~ ~
#every time I call someone my best friend they turn into a fucking problem that just hurts me and makes me sick#is it me? am I doing something wrong? am I not supposed to have close friends?#or am I just such a fuckup that by being myself it’s inevitable that I’ll ruin my friendships?#kissed my bro on the cheek last week when he wasn’t doing too great and in my mind I was doing it just as an extra way to be encouraging#and show my support and that I’m here for him cause tbh I’ve done that with plenty of other friends and it ain’t no thing#but after a week of wondering why he’s been distant and not wanting to be around me when I’m saying I just need some time with a friend he#finally admits that he thought that was weird and out of line. so I gotta backtrack and try to explain myself but now all the stupid little#pieces be fitting and I realize that he’s probably been misconstruing me wanting time with him as thinking I’m gonna try to flirt with him#or something else fucking dumb like that. despite the fact that that has never been the case and he knows me fundamentally as a person and#should know I wouldn’t ever do anything that could make either of us cheaters even incidentally. plus he’s basically like a brother to me#and I have an AFAB partner so it’s not like I’m trolling for cock anyway and he knows that too. but now I gotta go back through every#interaction we’ve had since that happened and analyze whether or not I was weird or awkward or inappropriate in some way that he could be#upset about at all. and also act like everything is fine and keep it pushing like normal and police every future action to be safe too#because of course he can’t just be straight up about anything or tell me if something bothered him no I gotta play a whole ass fucking#guessing game. and now I also can’t trust that my best friend who is supposed to know me so well won’t take things I say/do the wrong way.#can’t trust that my best friend won’t see me in a poor light now because it’s clearly been affecting the friendship#and like totally that’s my bad I overstepped a boundary I didn’t realize was there but you should have just fucking told me at the time#instead of pulling this shit and giving me anxiety and blowing me off and making me feel like shit#can’t rely on him or trust him or anything and what’s the fucking point of even having a best friend if this is what happens? I’m at the end#of my fucking rope right now so stressed and anxious and no matter how much I try to talk to him or anything he just brushes me off and#won’t let me explain or get my feelings out or anything else. but hey at least I was around for him the other day when he needed somebody#good thing I was there to keep him from going back to drinking or something else stupid and could help him out. cause that’s what really#matters right just being able to help somebody else when they need it even if they don’t reciprocate and are actively hurting me instead of#just being there for me as a friend. guess we try again tomorrow huh? what else can be done I suppose. just get to suffer and be riddled#with anxiety and stress and depression eating away at me and ruining my fucking life. can’t even enjoy the Olympics or anything else because#I’m stuck overthinking this dumb shit. just want this to be over and things to be back to normal. wanna stop being upset about this shit and#be able to let it go but I don’t fucking know how and I can’t keep losing friends because it’s killing me#personal
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hemi-demi · 3 months ago
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I've seen it said in places that Jon and Martin's relationship (specifically Jon realizing he has feelings for Martin) feels rushed and out of nowhere, and there's a perspective here that I want to share.
I think some people see them as explicitly a gay couple and expect them both to react a certain way to each other, but I have some thoughts as to why Jon is different and their relationship might not look like a traditional MLM story.
I feel that Jon's affections for Martin are absolutely there and growing over time, but with him being acespec, possibly autistic (the "I feel...sad" moment screams alexithymia to me. He doesn't fully understand his internal feelings until they're too big to ignore), and trying very hard to not get murdered for several seasons, I think it's perfectly reasonable his feelings for Martin would take time to develop.
We do see him softening to Martin over time. We see him thinking about Martin unprompted when he's alone. We see him going from "this man is going to ruin this delicate facade I've put up to seem professional, and I want him gone immediately." to "Oh, you're actually capable. So capable you might be trying to kill me." To "I don't want him to get involved or he might get hurt. I need to keep my distance so he's safe." To "I'm going to make myself tea out of nowhere because the guy who usually made it for me all the time isn't here and now it's part of my routine and I want to keep that part of him around while I'm hiding out for murder."
But once he identifies his own feelings, he overcorrects right into hopeless romantic. He's pining hard all S4, because he finally realized himself that he's in love and it's at the worst possible time. It is abrupt. Dude only just figured it out and he's throwing his whole ass into this.
I think even without the autistic headcanon, the acespec nature of how he views relationships and his whole "I feel...sad" moment indicates clearly that he was just oblivious to his own feelings for a very long time.
I know it feels sudden, but some of us are oblivious, okay? I was friends with a girl for 2 years before my brain flipped the switch and Jon's reaction felt so familiar, and I love it. I just hardly ever get to see "me" in media, and it's a bummer when people say it feels unrealistic. It's not, it's just not the norm.
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emberuby · 18 days ago
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just like you | y.jw
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sometimes, i love myself, touch myself, thinking of you. sometimes, when you're gone, far from home, thinking 'bout you, baby — just like you by emotional oranges
pairing: yang jungwon x fem! reader
synopsis: jungwon asks you if you ever touched yourself to the thought of him.
warnings: established relationship, jungwon is a bit mean, mentions of (almost) drowning, sub! reader (cannot write dom reader for the life of me, sorry), dom! jungwon, mentions of masturbation, possessiveness, oral sex (fem receiving), jungwon is a munch sue him, some fluffy moments.
note: my first ever jungwon fic 🖤 i went a bit crazy after seeing the pics of his blonde hair, so i decided to take this wip i abandoned months ago and finally complete it. hope u guys enjoy! and as always feedback is really appreciated 😚
wc: 3.7k
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“How did you feel about me before we got together?”
You turned to face your boyfriend, who was lying calmly on the couch with one arm wrapped around your frame. His sudden question took you aback, but you didn’t want to answer it quite honestly, “Isn’t it obvious? I thought you were a massive pain in the ass.”
Jungwon rolled his eyes and pinched your cheek lightly. "I’m being serious, Y/N. What did you think of me?”
It was humiliating to admit, but you went completely breathless when you first met him. You remember it vividly: you were at a first-year party, and one of your friends brought him to meet you because you were both going into the same faculty and thought you could become good friends.
Well, that didn’t work out at all, as your friendship was short-lived and was plagued with sexual tension that was thick enough to cut through. 
The image in your head was all too clear, of his skin tinted red from the LED lights and his hazy eyes from the drink he took. That night, he looked fucking gorgeous. His hair was bleached blonde, he had a fake lip piercing, and he wore a leather racer jacket. First-year Jungwon thought he was very edgy and unique. 
Even on the first day you met, all you wanted to do was take Jungwon somewhere private and have him shove his tongue down your throat (and maybe somewhere lower, too).
“In all honesty?” You asked, your eyes shining with sincerity.
“Please,” he responded. He placed his palms on your waist and swiftly pulled you on top of him as though you were a feather. He always acted so casually about things like that and did not even care about how it made your heart race.
He would do small acts like wrapping his arms around the back of your seat when he would parallel park and hold your thighs while he was driving as though they were just casual things to him. Did he not realise how much it affected you?
“In all honesty...,” you began dramatically, clearly playing with his impatience. You grinned at yourself as you saw the anxious and eager look on his face. "I thought you were really fucking sexy.” 
That made him smirk, and he lowered his hands from your waist down to your hips. Your breathing quickened at the feeling of his fingers tightening around you. You didn’t finish, however, "And I wanted to kill every girl that you were dancing with. Since we’re in the spirit of complete honesty.”
Jungwon’s eyes lit up. He was all too used to being the possessive one, so it always made him excited when you would get jealous. He didn’t even remember that he was dancing with other girls that night because all he remembered was you.
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I wanted to kill all your guy friends that you were standing around with.” 
"I’m pretty sure you still do,” you said.
The smirk fell from his face as he looked off to the side in annoyance. “Maybe I wouldn’t if Jake wasn’t so touchy with you. And I know, I know, he’s just a friend, but I swear that fucker always smirks at me whenever he hugs you. He’s such a piece—” 
You placed your pointer finger against his lips, shutting him up, as you really were not interested in hearing his tenth jealous rambling of the week. “Baby, you’re adorable when you’re jealous, but please, let’s not get into that right now.”
He sighed in frustration but nodded noteless. One of these days, he ought to just fuck you in front of all your guy friends to show them who you truly belonged to, but that would be a conversation for another day.
He extended his tongue out to lick the skin of your fingers, making you flinch your arms back towards you. Jungwon’s eyes turned into crescents as he laughed at your disgusted face. “You’re such a freak,” you exclaimed. 
He ignored your comment, as his mind was still fixated on what he came into this conversation for. He began, “What I really wanted to know was... if you ever touched yourself. You know, to the thought of me.”
You smiled to yourself and hummed, "I see what this is about.”
He tugged you closer to him, pressing your pelvis tighter against him. He hated the snarky tone of your voice. “Well, sue me for being curious.”
Clicking your tongue and looking down at him with pure confidence (and trying your absolute best to hold back the embarrassment), you admitted it. “If you must know. I did touch myself...to the thought of you.”
If Jungwon could, he would have jumped around the room in glee and screamed to his heart’s content, but he chose to keep a still face and just licked his lips. God, that was an ego boost, if anything. “How often?” he continued asking.
Your face flushed. He was not going to let this go any time soon. “Not too often,” you said, but your voice was ever so slightly shaky. Nobody outside of Jungwon would have noticed the slight crack in your demeanour.
He chuckled at your very obvious bullshit. “You’re lying straight through your teeth.”
You flicked his forehead in retaliation, but it was especially frustrating when you knew he was right. “Don’t be so full of yourself.”
He raised his eyebrow, telling you without words that he knew he was right and he wasn’t giving up on this topic. He was such a shithead. 
“Fine! It was… It was pretty frequent. It was really bad when you took me swimming that one time. You were touching me everywhere, and we had so little clothes on. I couldn't even wait until we got home. I just...fingered myself in the changing room to relieve it.”
You wish he could have seen the look in his eyes at that moment. He looked like he was falling down a never-ending rabbit hole of bliss and ecstasy. You couldn’t help but notice the feeling of his cock pressed up against your clothed pelvis, and you knew he was getting harder by the moment.
He remembered that day clearly, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t know the effect he had on you. You two were at the beach, and after he gave you a few tips on how to swim better, you began to feel overconfident and started rushing towards the deep end of the water. 
“How could you be so fucking stupid?!” You remembered him scolding you, holding onto you as tightly as possible, and rubbing your back to help calm your shaking body. Your eyes were glistening with tears, and you were shaking your head in fear. Given how large the waves were that day, you were sure that you would have ended up drowning if Jungwon didn’t get to you quickly enough.
You didn’t respond to him, instead wrapping your arms tightly around his shoulders and holding on for dear life. Although the near-death experience was still fresh in your mind, half of you were fixated on the feeling of Jungwon being so close to you. 
While one hand was resting on your back, the other was gripping your thigh, urging you to wrap your legs around his hips to stay closer to him so he could help swim you out of the water. You could feel his crotch pressed up against yours, and you weren’t sure if it was the ocean water or if it was just your arousal that was making your pussy feel so drenched. 
It was the weirdest feeling you had ever experienced—the mixture of fear and lust. You almost wanted to slap yourself across the face for being so affected by Jungwon’s touch. 
You remembered thinking, ‘For fuck’s sake, you almost died, and this is how you act right after? Like a dog in heat?’
While your mind was still reeling, Jungwon kept trying to calm down your nerves. “Hey, it’s okay. I'm here now. You’re not going anywhere, okay?” 
He wasn’t oblivious to it, however. The tension between you was high after that moment, and he remembered being affected by it, too.
“When I got home, I couldn’t stop thinking about it,” you continued speaking. “The first time I ever rode my pillow, it was to the thought of you. I felt pathetic, how I was jerking off to a picture of your face, but I wanted you underneath me...really badly.” 
Your face was burning, and your palms were pressed against his abdomen to help balance yourself. You regretted your shameless rambling as soon as it all left your mouth, especially now that Jungwon had all this ammunition on you. 
Jungwon would definitely use it against you in the future to make you flustered, but as of now, all he could think about was the image of you lying down with your back arched on your bed in the dorm you used to live in before moving in with him. 
He imagined your loose pyjama shirt covering your chest but nothing to cover your glistening pussy as you fingered yourself slowly. Your other hand was holding your cell phone, and on it was a selfie of Jungwon. The selfie would be rather innocent, but it didn’t matter; just a glimpse of him would have gotten you that riled up.
“Yeah? Well, you can get on top of me any time you’d like.”
“You know fully well that’s not true.”
Jungwon preferred being on top of you. Whenever you did ride him, it didn’t last particularly long because you never moved your hips fast enough to meet his insatiable hunger. It would only take a few minutes for Jungwon to become impatient and flip you over to continue fucking you on your back. He preferred to have full control over you, although most people who meet the two of you often assume that you both switch roles often. In reality, you were far too much of a sub for that to happen. 
He almost always had your legs spread and your back on the floor or mattress as he mercilessly took you. The other half of the time, he had you bent over on any surface he could find, taking you as your legs quivered from the pleasure and exhaustion. 
“I let you ride me every now and again, you’re just not very good at it,” Jungwon tried to defend himself. You noticed his voice was getting quieter and deeper, the way it always did when you had intimate conversations at night. His sleepy voice was enough of an aphrodisiac, with its raspiness and its hypnotising nature.
You gasped and placed your palm on your chest, pretending to act offended at his words when, in actuality, you didn’t particularly care about them. 
It wasn’t your fault that Jungwon had insane stamina, and you always get too exhausted when you ride on top of him. It doesn’t help that his size is too much for you to take some days and forces you to slow down while you thrust up and down on his cock. It never seemed to matter how well he prepped you because you would always find yourself struggling.
Jungwon quickly flipped you back into your original position, where you were lying back on the couch, and he sat down on the foot of it and began spreading your legs. His arms were gripping the fat of your thighs, pushing up the fabric of your already tiny pyjama shorts, and it made you even wetter to feel the heat of his palms on your bare skin. 
His face began inching closer and closer to your cunt, and it was making your heart race. You thought he would begin taking your clothes off already, but he instead chose to lay his head on the inside of your thigh like it were a pillow. 
His eyes looked so curious and innocent, all while he was being so indecent. “What did you imagine while you touched yourself?” he asked. 
Your mouth went dry, but you knew this was coming. Jungwon was high on lust and ego at the moment, and he wouldn’t back down until he knew everything about your past. 
“It was such a long time ago,” you said with a shaky tone. Jungwon wasn’t even doing anything, but his gaze alone was making you nervous.
He sucked his teeth and looked over at the side in disbelief. “Stop acting so innocent. I know you remember exactly what happened.” His eyes began turning dark, and he looked like a predator who was about to pounce on his prey.
Your breath quickened, and you searched through your mind, in the deepest and dirtiest parts of it, to recall what you used to imagine.
“Well, for starters, I imagined that you fucked me right there in the water at the beach. I know, it’s weird. We were in public, and I almost died, but I had a fantasy that we swam to a nearby boulder, and you fucked me against it.”
He nodded slowly. “Nothing weird about it, not when I had a similar thought.”
“Really?” you blurted out.
"I can’t even get started on the thoughts I used to have about you, but that’s for another day.”
“But I want to hear—” you yelped as he pinched the skin of your thigh to shush your protest. 
"I want to hear about your fantasies right now. Now go on, tell me more, baby.” 
Fuck, he had such a strong hold on you. You wanted to tell him more, but it was becoming harder to think when he kept inching closer to your cunt, so close that you could now feel his breath on your sensitive clit. 
“Okay… Well, there were some days when I had a really hard time falling asleep. I didn't want to keep taking pills to help relax me, but nothing seemed to work until I just fucked myself to sleep,” you began. Jungwon fingers were now hooked around the waistband of your shorts. 
You elaborated, "I told you already that I used to ride my pillow, right? Well, that wasn’t enough for me. I decided to buy a longer body pillow, rub myself on it, and pretend in my mind that you were fucking me to sleep. It helped a bit, but it was never perfect because I wanted you inside me. Without you, I always felt empty.”
Jungwon could feel his cock hardening and the crotch of his jeans stretching to accommodate it. “Why didn’t you just get a dildo?”
You sighed.   By the end of tonight, he would surely think you were an absolute dork. "I guess I thought it was wrong because I only wanted it to be you.”
That’s my girl, Jungwon thought to himself. 
He chuckled and said, “So you wanted to be loyal to me even before we started dating? That’s pretty pathetic, you realise that?”
You glared at him and flicked his forehead again. “Fine, if it was so pathetic, then I’ll just end the story—ahh!” 
You threw your head back in shock as you felt Jungwon’s lips latch onto your inner thigh and begin sucking on it. You were especially sensitive in that area, and it didn’t help that he was being so rough with it. You could already feel him leaving a mark.
He released your thigh with a pop, and his lips were already puffy and glistening with spit. He looked all too proud of himself and whispered, “You will stop when I tell you to stop.”
You nodded submissively, and it always ended up like this with the two of you. You always fell in line with whatever he said, and you hated yet also loved your body for it.
He began pulling down your shorts and panties in one go, but you had to remain stable and continue telling him what he wanted. 
“The things I imagined were pretty dirty sometimes but soft during others." When I got sad, I would finger myself at the thought of you making love to me, but usually it was...rough.”
“Uh-huh,” he said, satisfied at the admission. Your shorts and panties were now tossed to the side, and he lifted your legs up over his shoulders to give him easier access to your pussy. Every time he laid his eyes on it, he looked like he had just opened a treasure chest. “Fuck, baby, you’re drenched.”
“Just for you, Wonie,” you whimpered, your palms landing on the seat of the couch, knowing you would need to grip the fabric to help balance you as he ate you out. 
He placed a kiss on your clit, as though to thank her for all the service she had done before and apologise in advance for the way he would ruin her tonight. The kiss sent a wave of shock through your spine, and you knew you were in for it now.
“So, what kind of rough sex did you imagine?” He asked right before leaning down and latching his mouth around your clit. 
“F-Fuck!” you moaned. You arched your back off the couch and looked down to see his eyes were still on you, looking carefully to note your every reaction. 
Did he really expect you to recite a story while he was sucking you off like this? Your hole began clenching at nothing, desperate for something to fill it up. 
Jungwon was looking eager, urging you to say something. "I... I always wanted you to pull my hair and spank me. Specifically when you would take me from behind. I liked the idea of being degraded and treated like that. I would even finger myself on my hands and knees to help it be more vivid.” 
The images running through Jungwon’s mind could have probably led him to cumming in his pants. He was glad to know that your past fantasies aligned with your current sex life, as he wanted you to be completely satisfied with it, but he knew there was something dirtier and unexpected that you were hiding.
“Well, that’s pretty fucking tame,” he said, cocking his head to the side. He didn’t really mean it, especially when your comfort was everything to him, but he was riling you up to get you to tell him more. 
You cried out at the feeling of his wet tongue playing roughly with your clit, and at this point, you weren’t sure how you were going to tell him everything when he already began inserting his pointer finger inside your cunt. You were so desperate for something inside you that you practically sucked him in, and your moans became louder with the increased pleasure.
The pressure began building inside you, and everything began to feel hazy, but you tried to soldier on. “And... it got really bad when we didn’t see each other for a long time. When you went back home during the autumn break, I almost lost my mind. I would even listen to the voice messages you left me just to hear you. I couldn't stop imagining you saying the most obscene things to me. My fingers were practically always inside me, and I almost lost it one of those days and thought about just calling you.” 
Sweat began dripping down your forehead, but you were nonetheless proud of yourself for managing to say all of that, even if you were shaky and stuttering. 
“What were you going to tell me?”
“That I wanted you to talk me through it.”
If Jungwon wasn’t hard already, he was now. He felt like a brick was nested in his pants, begging to be let loose, but he wasn’t about to start humping the couch to help relieve it, wanting to solely focus on you and your sopping pussy in his mouth. The thought of talking you through your orgasm on the phone made his brain almost short-circuit. 
"I would have if you told me to.”
"I know, Wonie,” you whined desperately. You could feel your first orgasm approaching, and you knew it was your first because Jungwon never let you rest at night, especially on nights like these. Your knuckles were becoming paler as you held on tightly to the couch, bracing yourself for what was to come.
Jungwon could have spent hours lapping at your cunt if he wanted to, but you could only handle so much, so he had to hold himself back as much as he could. 
You could feel his fingers now scissoring you open, thrusting deep into your walls, hoping to prep you as best as he could for taking his cock afterwards. 
His saliva began dripping down your pussy and landing on the cushion of the couch, leaving a dark mark on the fabric. He groans into your pussy as he feels your arousal coating his tongue, and he begins drooling like a man starved. “You taste so fucking good.”
He had to begin holding tighter onto your thighs as your sensitivity made you try to close them together. He wasn’t about to have any of that. 
You could feel him smirking against your sensitive cunt as he felt the quivering of your thighs from being forced open. Your skin was flushed, and you knew you had no more room in you to keep entertaining Jungwon with stories. 
With one final flick of his tongue, your eyes rolled back, and you began seeing stars in your eyes. He always made you see stars. 
You felt your pussy clench around Jungwon’s fingers, and his dick twitched at the sound and feeling of your orgasm. He loved seeing you like this; one day, he wanted to say fuck to your weak stamina and just fuck you all day long so he could see you filled with bliss like this. 
Your body went limp after the rush of your orgasm finally began to fade, and you let out a small giggle as you saw the way Jungwon’s chin was covered in your essence and his spit. He didn’t care, though, as he leaned up to lay a kiss on your lips, getting the spit all over you. 
“What else did you fantasise about?”
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elllisaaa · 2 months ago
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ateez when their s/o gives them cutness aggression
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-> words count : 963 words
-> genre : fluff
-> sorry if I made any mistakes, english is not my first language.
-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated !
-> author's note : @mjilv gave me the idea of doing an ateez version so here it is ! hope you'll like it !
-> masterlist | ateez masterlist
svt version | ateez version
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KIM HONGJOONG
cause of the aggression : hongjoong coming home very sleepy after a long day working at the studio.
actually, it’s more the way he latches on you as soon as he spots you that melts your heart.
you immediately wrap your arms around him and bury your nose in his hair, then you leave a string of kisses on the crown of his head. 
even after so many hours working, he still smells so good and you’re a little jealous. 
and hongjoong is too tired to try and stop you from doing your thing, on the contrary, he relaxes even more in your embrace, quietly humming in satisfaction.
“how was your day joongie ?”
“so much better now that I’m with you.”
PARK SEONGHWA
cause of the aggression : seonghwa proudly showing off the new lego set he just built. 
you had always thought that your boyfriend’s passion for lego was endearing, but the way he always seeks out your approval on everything he adds to his collection makes you want to keep him with you forever. 
so instead of paying attention to the piece in his hands, you squish his cheeks and kiss his lips repeatedly instead. 
seonghwa whines a few times, asking you what you are doing but honestly, he loves the affection so he quickly shuts up.
“now, what were you saying, baby ?”
“i’m not sure i wanna talk about legos now. can you kiss me again instead ?”
JEONG YUNHO
cause of the aggression : you know the golden retriever energy he has ? yeah, that is enough.
because why does his whole face light up when he finds you in the cereal aisle at the grocery store, showing off the new ice cream flavors he’s been wanting to try. 
and you don’t care that you’re in public because you just need to show him that you love him.
so you grab his arm and stand on your tippy toes to be able to kiss his cheeks as many times as you want.
and yunho’s giggles as you do it don’t help calm you down.
“what was that for ?”
“don’t act like you don’t know how cute you are, jeong yunho.”
KANG YEOSANG
cause of the aggression : you know the way he’s looking above himself sometimes ? that is literally the cutest thing ever wtf ???
so when you pass behind the couch and your boyfriend does that, you cannot help the urge to bend down and leave a trail of kisses along his forehead.
yeosang sometimes doesn’t understand you, but he loves your kisses so he lets you do your thing. 
when you finally let him go, you notice his red ears, and you chuckle lightly before giving him a real kiss on the lips.
“i’m never getting used to this.”
“good, i want you to be surprised everytime i come out of nowhere to give you affection.”
CHOI SAN
cause of the aggression : san pouting at you because you don’t want to sleep with him due to the unbearable heat of the summer. 
you were already sweating like crazy, and you didn’t want to wake up in the middle of the night all sticky because your boyfriend wasn’t able to keep his hands off of you.
but the way he was pleading you with his whole face was too cute to ignore. 
so you simply sighed as you settled in his arms again and went to kiss his pouty lips. and as soon as you were done with your attack, san was all smiley again.
“you’re such a child.”
“maybe, but you love me.”
SONG MINGI
cause of the aggression : his big smile, the one that makes me want to kill myself because he’s too fucking pretty for this world. 
when he’s smiling like that, it’s already hard to manage, but when that smile is directed at you, it’s impossible to pass on the opportunity to kiss his whole face.
so you don’t hesitate to cup his face in your hands and press your lips against every inch of his skin.
and his smile doesn’t leave him as you go on, his own hands going down to grab your waist.
as soon as you’re done, he’s pressing a kiss to your own lips, and his eyes are filled with love.
“i really don’t deserve you.”
“you do mingi, you deserve the world.”
JUNG WOOYOUNG
cause of the aggression : we all know how cute he is when he’s taking care of kids so seeing him be all lovey dovey with your little cousins makes your heart flutter. 
as soon as wooyoung said his goodbyes to the little girl because you had to go, you’re all over him.
he doesn’t understand what’s happening, and he’s whiny at the beginning, trying to push you off of him.
but he progressively gives up on his plan and simply lets you do your thing. 
and when you finally let him go - and breathe some fresh air - he cannot hide his cheeky smile.
“something’s wrong with you, i swear.”
“as if you’re not just as crazy !”
CHOI JONGHO
cause of the aggression : once again, the smile. like, his big gummy smile… killing myself again.
no but how can you resist him when he’s smiling at you like that ?? you can’t ! 
so even if he didn’t ask for this, you kiss his face as many times as you can before jongho starts to protest. 
but both of you know that it’s only to try and keep his composure, because he loves it when you’re showering him with your love like that.
but he has a reputation to hold (he has none but you let him believe it because he’s cute).
“all of that just because of my smile ?”
“don’t play dumb ! you know very well how weak i am !”
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-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my work.
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ateez taglist (fill in this to added) :
@sharonxdevi @hann1bee @lil-kpopstan @heevllog @lichyuu @foxinnie8 @lovelyuyu
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luvyeni · 16 days ago
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( reaction ) yandere enha when you wake them up ! ୨୧ 一 엔하이픈 ՞
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⸃ ⸰ ⌁ when you wake up in the middle of the night ヾ
yandere!엔하이픈・ fem!reader ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ g ・ angst ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ cw ・ yandere , mentions of getting physical wc ・ ‎787 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎| ‎ ‎click to library
request. yandere enhypen when you wake them up in the middle of the night (for reasons you can choose)
「 ୨୧ authors note 」 damn jay looks good asf in that photo...
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﹙ 𐙚 : jungwon��� .ᐟ
not gonna lie jungwon thought you were trying to kill him , all the cruel jokes he'd play , he assumed you'd one day snap and kill him in his sleep so he was always a bit on edge during bed time. so when you jumped up from a nightmare he jumped up too. “what is it?” he rubbed the sleep from his eyes , listening to you. “i thought you were playing a trick on me again.” he smirked , scoffing. “i only play those jokes when you do something.”
“do you have a guilty conscience? something you want to get off your chest?“
﹙ 𐙚 : heeseung﹚ .ᐟ
when heeseung wanted to fuck with you; he made you sleep alone; knowing you were dependent on him and his affection. so it was just one of those nights where he did this , but you couldn't do it anymore. heeseung could feel you standing above him , biting back a smirk keeping his eyes close. “heeseung.” you're close to tears now. “i can't sleep without you please.” you begged. “please.” you were shaking now , panic setting in. “calm down.” his eyes finally open. “look at you shaking.” he mocks you.
“you hate me so much but you're crying to sleep next to me.”
﹙ 𐙚 : jay﹚ .ᐟ
jay gave you the courtesy of giving you your own room , he didn't want to fight with you over that , so he let you sleep alone. so he was a bit confused when he found you crawling into his bed. he didn't say anything though , he allowed you to get as close to you as you wanted , he didn't touch you , until you took his arm , wrapping it around your body , he could smell your shampoo as you silently drifted off to sleep.
he definitely wasn't gonna say anything about it but he'd make sure he'd tell the maid to add extra pillows in his room for you.
﹙ 𐙚 : jake﹚ .ᐟ
since being with you , jake had become a really light sleeper, the fear of you leaving him in the middle of the night. so when you jumped up from your spot next to him , he jolted up as well , his first instinct was to grab your wrist. “where are you going?” you didn't even register any of his questions, the dream was so vivid. “you-you were in the bathroom.” you said. “you were dead , it was my fault.” you were crying now , jake was jumping for joy , you loved him so much you dreamt about him. “but im not dead , im right here aren't i?”
“and you wouldn't do anything to make me harm myself again right?”
﹙ 𐙚 : sunghoon﹚ .ᐟ
he's upset when he's awakened from his slumber to your screaming. “are you serious?” when you start swinging at him he gets pissed. “hey! wake the fuck up.” your eyes shoot open to him hovering over you , pinning you down against the bed — the nightmare you had mixed with the current situation didn't help, if anything it made you want to fight even more but he put a stop to it. “quit this right fucking now before the neighbors hear you.” he said gripping your cheeks.
“while im being nice because it's late, close your eyes and go back to fucking sleep.”
﹙ 𐙚 : sunoo﹚ .ᐟ
he sleeps with you in his arms; it stuffy and often hot and uncomfortable but he won't sleep unless you're there. this particular night you couldn't take it anymore, it was hot and you had enough, softly trying to move away from him — unfortunately it makes his eyes open. “what are you doing?” he asked. “im hot.” you said. “i just need a little space.” he took that as you hate him. “why must you treat me like this?” he said. “all i want to do is sleep next to you, but you just live to be so mean to me.” he managed to turn it on you , make you feel bad until put your comfortability aside, laying back in his arms. “see.” he kissed your cheek.
“it's perfect like this, you'll never leave me.”
﹙ 𐙚 : ni-ki﹚ .ᐟ
annoyed when he's awoken by your shivering beside him — you're having another nightmare, probably about him , he didn't care though. “get up.” he shook you. “you're shaking, it's annoying.” he said. “m’sorry.” you said tiredly , the adrenaline still running through you from your dream , but you were too scared to move in fear of annoying him further , do you just curled up in a ball. “those dreams are stupid.” he said his eyes closed. “there's no need to be scared of me hurting you.”
“unless you're doing something that warrants me to hurt you.”
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©LUVYENI
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chufflepop · 4 months ago
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The winners garden
This was inspired by my emerald rogue run (the old one), with my pidgeot whom I have named Victory after the run ended (or caught a pidgey in the safari and pretended it was her)
This'll be long because it affected me that much. I didn't expect to win this run- I thought I was a goner after Wallace. I swear this run felt like a movie sequence because my god it felt so climactic (to me)
Victory was a random pidgey I caught at before the first or second gym, and I was originally going to trade her off but I just felt like I lacked flying types. Eventually, I thought she was actually a really valuable member and kept her in. It also helped alot that the pidgeotite appeared the next time I got into the battle stop store, so it felt right keeping her around-
My team had a latios, thunderus, sylveon (who died but I managed to get him back because of the random lab encounter, thank god it was just a species curse), serperior, dracovish and mega pidgeot. Pidgeot with hurricane spam is so good I kept her around even more
It was a really solid team until I accidentally stumbled into a trainer battle while getting an item, and due to an unlucky crit, my latios goes down
At this point, I got mad because "AH, MY BEST TEAM MEMBER". He had a choice specs on and his job was to spam, but unfortunately, his psychic didn't kill the mega kanghaskan we encountered. It was unfortunate, I didn't level up because I thought I could avoid the trainer, but oh well
Caught a random alolan ninetales that did good aurora veil blizzard (after buying an ability patch) and I thought she'd be fine and for awhile, it was
Until I reached the champion. Wallace killed 3 of my team members, down went my serperior, my newly caught alolan ninetales, and my dracovish. And there was also an unskippable trainer when I moved on to the next route which killed my sylveon, leaving me with only my thunderus and my dear pidgeot
Remember the species clause I said earlier? That thing screwed me over when it only had 3 available pokemon (and worse, it was a water route so the surf point also had staryu, maybe I was just impatient and maybe another mon is in the surf point idk). I caught a starmie, a toxapex and a jellicent in that route. With the species clause active, I was handicapped to fight the REAL champion. I only had 5 pokemon instead of 6
The last poke stop. The trader was there, so I took a gamble with him and traded my starmie. And what came out of it felt right- It was a victini. At this point, I was giggling to myself like "I might win" because of victinis dex entry and such, about how it being with you is basically a guaranteed victory.
After I prepared my team to the best that I could and with some small confidence growing, I pressed on.
At this point, I only remember the pidgeot battle so I'm just trying to remember here and I'm probably wrong in some details
Red was the final champion and my victini took the lead. Victini died first, he was scarfed and spammed bolt strike until he MISSED. But it was still good enough, it was now a fair 4v4. Jellicent didn't have much, but he had will o wisp, which helped alot. He wasn't trained as well as the others so he was frailer than he was supposed to be, but he weakened one pokemon enough for thunderbolt range and died. 3v4 now
Thunderus tbolt, he goes down. Thunderus had a z crystal and it one shotted I forgot who immediately after.
It's now a 2v2
Terrakion. Easy enough for toxapex to take down (and spam recover)
2v1
Final pokemon was a giratina. Shadow force. Didnt want to switch out because tox was in good health and I wanted to knock off, but it critted and tox was lower than anticipated. Knock off did alright damage and I was sure it was a clear 2 hit ko if pidgeot lived. One outrage and tox was down
1v1.
My pidgeot, the pidgeot who's been with me since the start, the pidegot that I was going to trade away, the pidgeot that I doubted. From a little helpless pidgey to now facing Satan head on
She megas and hits her first hurricane but it doesn't kill and an outrage hits her and SHE BARELY LIVED. SHE WAS CLINGING FOR HER LIFE. AND THERE I KNEW, I KNEW I WON. ONE LAST HURRICANE AND DOWN GOES GIRATINA, AND MY SOLE SURVIVOR WON ME EVERYTHING!
IT FELT SO PERFECT. THE SPECIES CLAUSE, THE VICTINI, THE TOXAPEX, THE STRESS I BUILT, THE IMPORTANT POKEMON DYING JUST BEFORE RED, THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP TAKING DOWN POKEMON SATAN, IT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE MUCH VISUALLY AND SOME PEOPLE WOULD PROBABLY THINK IT'S CHILDISH, BUT I IMAGINED MY PIDGEOT ABSOLUTELY LOOKING COOL AND GOING HAM ON THAT FINAL BATTLE. THE FINAL BATTLE WAS COOL IN MY HEAD OKAY
After we won, I caught a female pidgey on the safari zone and named her Victory. It's the same pidgeot now pidgey that in my heart. And that's literally why I made this drawing. And also I significantly love pidgeot more now. I would also make an essay about my thought process when making this, but I think this tumblr blog is long enough (it was so corny ngl). Too bad I can’t bring her over but the newer game is fun too
I'm sorry this was long guys, I enjoyed talking about this way too much ahshsh
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starstruckmiraclekitty · 11 months ago
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“I love you, and I am terrified of what that means.” Simon admitted quietly, his eyes drifting down toward his twiddling fingers as you sat across from him.
Your head perked up, your eyes softening as you looked over at your lieutenant. Your heart felt like it was practically beating out of your chest, your mind struggling to absorb what he’d just confessed to you.
The two of you were stuck in an abandoned home after a failed mission, waiting for much needed evacuation to come and rescue you. Both of you were relatively unharmed, but you’d had a very close call much to Simon’s dismay.
“You love me?” You asked after a moment, struggling to steady your shaking hands. There was no way he returned your affections, no way in hell. After years of working together, you could’ve sworn Simon only ever saw you as a comrade.
Simon said nothing in return as he picked at his nails, his mind swirling with everything he wanted to tell you. Words were not his strong suit, and he shocked even himself when he admitted his deeply rooted feelings for you.
“Simon, I-.”
“When I saw that gun pointed at you, I felt..” Simon took a deep breath before continuing. “If you had died, I don’t know how I would’ve lived with myself.”
“I’m okay though, Simon. I’m alive.”
“No, you don’t get it Y/N.” Simon stood, running his hands through his hair in frustration. His voice was cracking slightly, and it was clear he hadn’t been this distressed in quite some time.
“Help me understand, Simon. Please, let me in.” You pressed gently, not daring move from your spot as you watched him pace at the window.
Simon stopped pacing, and instead stood looking out the shattered window, his eyes landing on the starless sky. “I realized in that moment, when I thought you were going to be killed.. I realized that my heart would stop beating if I never saw your face again.”
A soft sob escaped your lips at his words, and your hands flew to your mouth as tears began to fall down your cheeks. You shakily made your way to your feet, desperately trying to steady your racing heart as you slowly made your way to him.
“And I’m fucking terrified, Y/N. I don’t know how to deal with how I’m feeling, I don’t know how to act, how to think. This is uncharted territory for me.” Simon turned as he spoke, his eyes widening as you were closer to him than before.
“I am too.” You admitted, looking into Simon’s deep brown eyes. “I’m so scared. I spent all this time thinking you never felt the same, and now that I know you do, it..it becomes real. But I trust you, Simon.”
His breath began to quicken as you stepped another inch toward him, your hand reaching to cup his masked cheek softly. “If you continue whatever it is you’re about to do, I can’t promise we can come back from this.”
Standing on your toes, you gave Simon a soft smile before pulling up his mask, revealing his scarred lips. “I know.”
Throwing caution to the wind, Simon grabbed your chin softly, tilting your head up toward him. His brown eyes flickered from your eyes, then to your lips. “Okay.”
With one final glance at your eyes, Simon pressed his lips to yours, and in that moment, nothing else mattered. Not what came next, not what this meant for the two of you….simply just you and him, and the kiss he never wanted to end.
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slut4thebroken · 1 year ago
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Nymphomania
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Pairing | Jonathan Crane x patient!reader
Summary | You been trying for months to get Dr. Crane to give in. After a bold attempt, he finally breaks.
Warnings | Sexual content, 18+, smut, age gap, doctor/patient relationship?, mentions of murder, reader is so horny and we’re here for it, degradation, humiliation, face fucking, deep throating, rough oral sex, slight dubcon? but only because he’s “reluctant”, filthy nasty disgusting oral sex😭
Words | 2.6 k
Notes | He’s about 38 in this fyi. Also I already have an idea for a second part but it’s not even started so don’t expect it any time soon lol
Ao3 link | <3
Masterlist
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Dr. Crane has been your psychiatrist for several months now. Ever since your first session, you’ve been completely smitten and you were never shy about showing it. At first he was uncomfortable with your forwardness and flirty behavior, but he quickly learned to just ignore it… and most of the time he’s successful. But every once in a while you’ll say something particularly bold and he’ll reprimand you with a blush. 
Today was no different. You were brought to the usual room where your sessions take place and you waited eagerly for him to arrive. When the door finally opened and he walked in, you perked up, a giddy smile making its way on your face. 
“How are you today?” He asked as he set down his things, then sat across from you. 
“Better now that you’re here.” You put your elbow on the table and rested your chin on your hand, staring up at him through your lashes. “How are you?”
“Busy. Shall we get started?” The dismissal was not lost on you… but you’ve never been one to cooperate. 
“You sound stressed, doctor. Maybe I can help you relax?” You purred, slowly extending your leg to brush your foot over his shin, sliding it up. He pushed your foot back down, then moved his chair back a little as he cleared his throat.
“Behave.” He warned, making your lips curl up into a smirk.
“For you? Always.” He scoffed at that, but he can’t blame you for not behaving. Not when it’s not even your fault. “It’s not my fault I act like this.” You said defensively.
“No?”  
“I wouldn’t be so needy if you’d just help me out every once in a while.” You whined, giving him puppy dog eyes. 
“I’m sure you’re perfectly capable of taking care of that yourself.” 
“I don’t like doing it myself, it’s not the same. Need you, doctor.” Your gaze shifted to his lips before settling on his hands, examining the veins leading up into his arms, covered by his suit. You wished the table wasn’t here so you could see all of him though. 
“Need your cock.” You suddenly looked at his eyes again and the only indication you got that he was affected by your words was the slight bob of his throat as he swallowed. “Please, Dr. Crane.” You pouted, leaning forward a little, wishing your top was lower to help you out. 
“If you need to be fucked so bad, you shouldn’t have killed four people and gotten yourself stuck in here.” He said, sounding almost bored. 
“I didn’t kill people, I killed men.” You said, now much more annoyed, but quickly brought your tone back to something sweeter. “And I guess I just thought at least one hot guy in here would be willing to fuck me. I didn’t plan on having my options completely limited to you.” 
“How are they limited?” 
“Because I don’t want anyone else! I just want you. And I can tell you feel the same, you’re just too obsessed with your job to act on it.” You frowned. He took in a deep breath through his nose and looked away from you as he thought. 
“Come here.” He suddenly said, leaning forward while beckoning you to do the same. Once you were leaned over the table slightly, you let your eyes fall to his lips as you waited for his next move. “My job isn't the issue. It’s the fact that you’re a criminally insane little girl.” He said lowly, making you press your thighs together as you squirmed. 
“I'm 20.” You defended weakly. 
“Exactly. I was already a legal adult when you were born.” 
“So? That just makes it hotter.” You said quietly, then bit your lip, staring up at him with wide, innocent eyes. He didn’t respond and you tried not to shrink under his gaze. After another moment you sighed and leaned back, his eyes following every movement carefully. When you pushed your chair back, he stiffened. 
“What are you doing?” You slid down the chair to the floor, then crawled under the table. He started moving his chair back so you grabbed the legs to keep it in place. Because of his attempt to get away from you, you now had enough room to get out from under the table, but the space between it and the chair was small enough that your shoulders pressed against his spread legs. 
“Please? I need your cock, Dr. Crane.” You pouted, placing your hands on his thighs and snaking them up. “I’ve been thinking about it every day for months. Please let me have a taste.” You did your best to hide your smirk as you stared up at him through your lashes. When you suddenly leaned forward and started mouthing at his cock through his clothing, he roughly grabbed your hair, making you whine and work even harder. 
“Insatiable little slut.” He spat, wrenching your head back uncomfortably so that you were looking up at him again. Since you couldn’t use your mouth, you placed a hand on his bulge, making his grip on your hair tighten. You couldn’t help the open-mouthed smile that crept up on your face at the rough treatment. That seemed to only make him angrier though. 
“Hands behind your back.” He ordered. You smirked and glanced down at your hand on his bulge, debating if you wanted to be a brat or not. When his grip got impossibly tighter, you released him and placed your hands behind yourself. You had a feeling that he would end up giving you what you want. 
“You go a few months without it and turn into a cock hungry whore,” You moaned and squeezed your thighs together, looking up at him with a glint in your eyes. “Like a fucking bitch in heat.” He spat. 
“Please, Dr. Crane.” You said through a moan. “Please, I need it.” Your gaze shifted between his face and his crotch hungrily. 
“Stop talking.” He hissed. 
“If you want me to shut up, you know what to do.” You smirked at him and he clenched his jaw, letting out a heavy breath through his nose. He seemed to be debating what to do— torn between not wanting to give you what you want and finally shutting you up. 
“Take it out.” He ordered. You don’t think your hands have ever moved faster. They immediately shot out and started working on his belt, then the button, and finally the zipper. When his cock was finally free, you let out a low moan and tried to lean forward, but he stopped you with the hand in your hair. “Hands behind your back.” You whined but obeyed and he pulled you closer, using his free hand to fist his cock. You could smell him now and you knew that he could feel your panting breaths with how close you were. 
“Please.” You mewled, shuffling closer. 
“Move your hands and we’re done. Understand?” He warned. You didn’t know if he meant done right now, or done for good and you’ll be assigned to someone else, but both options sounded terrible. 
“Yes, doctor.” You stared up at him through your lashes with wide, innocent eyes, silently pleading him to give you what you want. 
He relented and pulled your head down as your mouth fell open, eagerly anticipating what you’ve been craving since you first arrived here. When you finally wrapped your lips around the tip, you moaned loudly at the taste and let your eyes flutter shut. You flicked your tongue over it, lapping up what little precum there was, then tried to swallow him down deeper. He stopped you with the hand in your hair and you let out a long, needy whine. 
“Don’t be a brat.” You blushed at the tone he used to scold you, feeling like a child. You obeyed with a pout and mouthed at the tip of his cock, clasping your hands together so they wouldn’t subconsciously move from your back. 
He started pushing you down, then back up, agonizingly slow. When you looked up at him again, he cursed under his breath and started moving you a little faster. You hollowed your cheeks and pressed your tongue against the underside of his cock, trying hard to impress him and earn his praise. But all you got was a soft sigh. 
You whined, wanting to pull off so you could beg for more. He just shushed you and kept up the slow pace of shallow thrusts. 
“Please.” You tried to say around him, the word coming out garbled and almost incoherent. 
“What, this isn’t enough for you?” He suddenly pulled you off and you panted as you caught your breath. 
“Fuck my throat.” You gasped out, cheeks heating up. “Please.” You added so it didn’t seem like a demand. He pushed you back down, resuming the original pace. 
“I’m surprised it took murder for them to put you in here. I would’ve thought it’d be nymphomania.” You moaned at the subtle degradation and squeezed your thighs together, aching to reach a hand between your legs. He finally sped up, but kept his thrusts shallow, barely even brushing the back of your mouth. Hollowing your cheeks, you sucked harder, trying to make it even better. “That’s it… Put that mouth to good use for once.” You didn’t let the insult deter you. 
He suddenly forced you all the way down and you choked, not expecting it. Holding your hair tight enough to make your head throb, he kept you there, his cock buried so deep that your nose was against his pelvis. With the lack of air and the pressure on your gag reflex, your eyes were watering and you looked up at him with a muffled whimper, making him curse under his breath. 
“Don’t tell me you’re gonna cry? I thought you wanted this?” He sneered, making you whine. He pulled you back until just the tip was in your mouth and let you take in a deep breath before shoving you back down. Rather than holding you there, he started bobbing your head up and down his cock, breaching your throat barrier each time. You couldn’t help the way you gagged and choked, but you didn’t dare try to pull away. 
“I thought a whore like yourself would’ve been good at this.” He said, disappointed. Your brows furrowed, not able to express your frown any other way. When he removed his hands, your expression turned into one of confusion. “Go ahead, nympho. Prove that you deserve to suck my cock.” You moaned around him, but quickly stepped up to the challenge. 
You were moving much slower than he was, choking each time you forced yourself all the way down, but determined not to give up. When you looked up at him, he almost seemed bored as he watched you. You pulled off and he raised his brows in a silent question. 
“Can I please use my hands?” You asked quietly, voice already hoarse. 
“No.” With a pout, you shuffled closer and leaned down, this time aiming for his balls. His spit soaked cock rested on your face, furthering your humiliation and arousal. You licked at them before sucking one into your mouth, making him let out a pleased sigh. You worked it over in your mouth for a few seconds before moving to the other one to do the same. 
You licked up along the underside of his cock with a small smirk��� he was practically pulsing because of how hard he was. When you reached the tip, you licked up the precum with a low moan, then took him back in your mouth, immediately going all the way down. 
He let you control the pace for a few more thrusts before grabbing your hair again and speeding up. When he let out a low groan, you quickly looked up to see his face, finding him with his lips slightly parted and his eyes half lidded and he stared down at you. He forced you all the way down, then held you there, and you whimpered around him, trying to control your gag reflex. 
“Lick my balls.” You furrowed your brows, still looking up at him, and he all but rolled his eyes. “Fucking lick them.” He spat, jerking your head down even though your lips were already at the base. You stuck your tongue out and tried to obey, making him groan. 
“There you go…” He placed both hands on the sides of your head for a better grip, then started roughly pulling you up and down. You choked and sputtered, but his grip was unmoving. “Fuck— Keep this up and I might just let this happen again.” He said through a breath, making your stomach flutter at the thought. 
He continued using your mouth practically as a fleshlight, ignoring your gagging and muffled sounds, focusing solely on his orgasm. After what felt like minutes but was probably just seconds, you felt your body start to try and pull away from the brutal attack on your throat. Even though your mind didn’t want you to, your body was panicking. His moans grew louder and you begged your body to endure just a little longer, needing him to come down your throat. 
“Stop fucking fighting it, bitch. You wanted this, so take it.” He growled, moving you faster and pushing you down harder. Your eyes burned with tears and it wasn’t long before they started falling, making him even more frenzied and desperate. His hips were bucking into you now as he forced your head up and down his cock, barely pulling you back more than halfway. 
After only a few more thrusts, he forced you all the way down with a low groan, using both hands to keep you there with your nose buried in his pelvis. His hips would occasionally buck into you as he rode out his orgasm. You moaned at the feeling of his come hitting your throat, but wished you could taste him too. Once his cock stopped twitching and his sounds died down, he finally loosened his grip enough to let you pull back and you coughed almost violently as he panted. 
“Satisfied?” He asked through a breath, looking down at you. 
“For now.” You smirked, but batted your eyes at him innocently. He released your hair and you frowned, but didn’t protest any further. 
“Clean it.” He ordered and you eagerly dove back in to lick at his softening cock. You were more just enjoying tasting him rather than cleaning up all of your spit… which he seemed to notice. “I said, clean it.” You looked up at him, but when you were met with a warning glare, you just huffed and did as he said, licking his cock and balls to clean him as much as possible. “Put it back now.” Despite the fact that you wanted nothing more than to do the opposite, you tucked his softening cock back in his pants and fastened them before buckling his belt. 
“Good.” Your heart practically stopped at the sudden praise. “Sit back down.” You frowned, but obeyed, waiting for the next command. “Trust that if you touch yourself before our next session, I will know, and I will have someone else take over as your psychiatrist. Do you understand?” Your frown deepened as a needy whine left you and he raised his brows in response, challenging you, making you huff. 
“Yes..” You muttered, looking at the table as you slouched in your chair, sulking. The next few days are going to be absolute torture. 
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the-thing-withfeathers · 2 months ago
Text
pushing all the right buttons
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a/n: ever since i started writing more & posting, i’ve had sooo much madison muse. so here’s a lil treat of dom!mads. this is also kind of in honor of the encore tour ending, she absolutely killed it this time around & i’m so grateful i got to see her.
pairing: dominant!madison beer x reader
warnings: kinda angsty at first but then smut smut smut, fluff at the end tho!!!! degradation, choking, oral & fingering (r!receiving), cursing, edging, hair-pulling, overstimulation.
summary: after not seeing madison for a bit, you decide to try and get a rise out of her.
•*¨*•.¸¸♪
madison had finished touring about a month ago. you had been at her final show and flew straight back home with her. ever since she’s gotten back though, your affection with her has been limited to kisses & cuddles. you wanted more after months of missing her.
at first, you chalked it up to her mainly being exhausted, which was fair enough, she got up on stage every night to perform her pieces of art. you couldn’t blame her for it. but as time went on, you started to wonder if maybe she lost attraction to you. you had to find a way to get that spark back.
you two were invited to a house party, it was hosted by one of your mutual friends as a celebration for everyone being in one place again.
you wanted to look good. not just good but amazing. you wanted her to notice you, to perceive you the way she used to.
you put on a backless cocktail dress that tied up behind your neck. you wore your down but styled it so it would be curled, your make up highlighted all your best features.
as you got ready in seperate rooms for the sake of having more bathroom space, you hadn’t seen what madison was wearing. your breath caught in your throat the second you saw her. she was in a blue sparkly dress, it was showing off everything you found beautiful about her body. you always thought she was captivating, her beauty unmatched. she had gold hoops on and her hair was tied up with a hair stick in it that you bought her when you visited her in japan.
“hey, baby.” she said, smiling at you. “you look great!”
great? that’s all?
“thanks.” you huffed, “you look amazing. i love the hair stick i got you!” you said, trying to lift your mood.
“i realised i haven’t used it properly.” she said, looking at it in the mirror. “thought it was about time.”
“yeah…” you muttered, grabbing your bag. “we should go. we’re already late.” you said, unclasping your purse to put your phone in there.
“alright, wait for me in the car.” she said, nodding and rushing to put the finishing touches on her make up.
“okay…” you simply said, walking down to the car and sitting in the passenger seat to wait for her.
•*¨*•.¸¸♪
the car ride was mostly quiet, the radio filling the gaps of silence. you realised she needed to focus on the road so you just used your phone for the drive.
when you both arrived, the party already had a handful of people in attendance. you two walked in and madison was immediately whisked away by her friends that have been waiting to see her when she got back, leaving you to fend for yourself a little bit.
you walked over to the drink table, pouring yourself something into a red solo cup. you feel a hand touch your shoulder.
it’s a girl you hadn’t met properly before but you know she had worked with madison on one of her music videos.
“heyy girl! oh my god, that dress is so pretty! i NEED to know where you got it!” she said, grabbing herself a drink too.
“awh, thank you!” you said. “um… i actually thrifted it. i made altercations to it myself.”
“what?! that’s insane. it looks like it hasn’t been touched at all!” she said, looking at the dress a bit closer. “you’re too talented!”
across the room, you felt eyes burn into the back of your head. you felt yourself to turn to where madison was talking to one of her friends, you two made eye contact. she didn’t look too happy. that wasn’t the reaction you wanted initially, but if it meant she paid some attention to you, maybe you would have to work with what you had.
“you’re too sweet.” you said, turning back to her. “but yeah! i alter a lot of my clothes, it’s just something i learned how to do.”
“that’s crazy. i think i’d just ruin my clothes if i tried.” she laughed, covering her mouth as she did. you laughed with her, it was geniune but you had to sell it. you leaned forward, touching her shoulder. she put a hand on your waist as you two made contact, laughing together still.
you found yourself chatting to this girl— who you found out was named gracie, actually having a decent conversation. you two talked about your jobs, your hobbies, and even a bit about your childhoods before you exchanged instagram handles.
while yes, you were partially using her to make madison jealous, you were excited to make a new friend on your own, at a party where you only knew a handful of people.
the whole time, you felt madison’s eyes on you. she kept glancing at you, a fire in those angry eyes.
•*¨*•.¸¸♪
madison felt herself scowl at the two of you. one of her friends, nick, started laughing at her.
“dude, you’re going to wrinkle if you keep doing that.” he chuckled, following her eyeline until he saw what she was looking at.
madison didn’t mean to be distant from you, she didn’t know why she wasn’t giving you the affection you wanted. she kept finding herself having to fulfill obligations from her work. she failed to realise you were needing her just as much.
she was seething seeing another girl give you the attention that she should have been giving to you.
she caught you excusing yourself for a moment and decided to make her move then.
“be right back.” she said, shoving her drink into nick’s chest and practicing stomping towards you.
•*¨*•.¸¸♪
you excused yourself from gracie to go find the bathroom. you struggled for a moment to find it before taking a chance and pushing one of the doors open to reveal it. you stepped inside and just as you were about to close the door, madison practically shoved the door open.
“mads— what—“ you were cut off by her hand wrapping around your throat, shoving you against the tile on the wall.
“my sweet girl, you thought you could just flirt with some other bitch and get away with it?” she asked, her sultry voice bouncing off the walls. “were you trying to upset me?”
you clawed at her hand, trying to push it away as tears welled at your eyes. as much as you were struggling to breathe, a part of you was excited to finally get what you wanted. you shook your head in a lie, whimpering softly as her hand pressed harder.
“well you sure as hell did.” she said, pressing kisses to your cheek. “are you a little slut for me? is that what you are? were you just being needy?”
you nodded, trying to gasp for air. as you tried to breathe through it, you felt a wetness pool at your core. you loved when she was gentle with you— but you loved this side of her just as much.
“well, you must be happy cause i’ll give you what you want, baby.” she said, her hand releasing your throat. you quickly inhaled the fresh air coming through the open bathroom window. you coughed a little, the air hitting your dry throat.
she pushed herself against you, straightening your back and her hands immediately found themselves lifting your dress. she turned you around and bent you over the sink.
“needy fucking whore.” she muttered, squatting down to pull your panties to your ankles. “fuck… you’re so wet. you love when i just throw you around, don’t you?”
“mmph… love when you throw me around.” you mumbled, holding onto the edge of the bathroom sink for dear life.
madison’s hand came down to smack your wet cunt then immediately after, started circling your clit with the pad of her thumb. you gripped the sink harder, crying out at the pain from the smack. “fuck!” you wailed out, your body jolting at the sudden contact.
“be quiet, bitch.” she said, sharpness on her tongue. “i wanna fuck you into oblivion, we can’t do that if someone catches us.” she said, smacking your pussy again. “you were being a bad girl…” she said, “this is what you deserve.”
you covered your mouth to prevent yourself from crying out again. you felt her mouth make contact with your wetness, her tongue fucking into your hole while her fingers worked your clit. your head fell down, your cheek against the counter. you were holding back moans but your efforts weren’t enough. you were crying out softly every time her tongue pushed into you, tears starting to fall out of your eyes.
this, paired with your touch-starved delirium, made you build towards an orgasm quickly— it didn’t even take madison a few minutes to get you close to the edge. when madison started to feel you shake, she immediately pulled away.
you sighed softly, realizing that you had been holding your breath in. your body relaxed but suddenly tensed up as madison’s fist bunched your hair up into a ball and she yanked you up, your back to her chest.
“look at yourself.” she ordered, forcing you to look at your red tear-stained cheeks. “so fucking good for me. am i really making you feel that good?” she asked, a smirk forming on her face as she laughed at you— it was embarrassing, she was taunting you. “you did this to yourself by thinking it was okay to let someone else touch you.”
“i’m sorry, mads.” you said, desperately wanting her to finish the job.
“sorry won’t do anything, baby. just let me do what i want to you then we can talk about forgiveness.” she said, her hair coming out of your hair and onto your breasts. she tore your dress open like it was nothing, you gasped at the gesture.
“if you’re so good at altering your clothes, you can put it back together.” she said, your breasts bouncing out of the dress. she moaned seeing them come out, your nipples hardening in the breeze.
her hand found its way around your throat again, applying less pressure than earlier but still enough to restrict your airways a little bit.
“watch me fuck you.” she said, holding your neck in place so you were watching. “watch yourself cum.”
she quickly found your clit again, your legs opening just a little bit more for her. she roughly rubbed at it with her middle finger as she placed her chin on your shoulder. she was watching you too. your hand found itself gripping onto her dress while the other was on the bathroom counter, stabilising yourself. you wanted to make noise but couldn’t get anything out because of her hand wrapped around your airway.
“i can feel you trying to moan, that’s so fucking hot.” she whispered, hot breath against your neck. “so fucking hot, baby.” she said, her finger suddenly entering you. you closed your eyes, the feeling was euphoric.
“hey!” she snapped. “eyes open.” she said, pulling her finger out to smack your ass. you whimpered at the loss of the build-up again, forcing your eyes open as she put her finger back into you.
“that’s it, love. you’re being good now.” she said, affirming you. you found yourself smiling at the sight of the two of you— you’ve been waiting for this for over a month and it’s just as good as you were expecting.
you felt that knot in your stomach start to form again, your grip on madison’s dress getting harder. she pumped her finger in and out of you quickly, her thumb supporting the motion by pressing against your clit. her grip on your throat loosened and you immediately let out a loud moan.
“mads.. mads, i’m gonna cum.” you managed to get out. your legs starting to grow weaker and your eyes starting to roll back into your head. you were seeing stars at this point.
“cum for me like the good whore you are.” she said, inserting another finger into you. “maybe i’ll forgive you then.”
it didn’t take much convincing for you to cum all over her fingers, crying out her name as your hand flew to her hair gripping as the tension in your belly snapped. your legs were shaking as she took her fingers out of you. you couldn’t hold yourself up anymore and fell down onto the floor, your back against the cold marbile bathtub.
“my pretty, pretty girl.” she cooed. your legs were still open so she brought her thumb to your clit again, earning a few jolts from you as you rode out your orgasm.
“you think i’m pretty?” you asked, a small soft smile forming on your face.
“i think you’re the most angelic creature to ever walk this earth.” she said, collecting your juices in her fingers, licking them clean as she pulled away.
“you haven’t made me feel pretty recently…” you pouted, your head reeling from the mind-blowing orgasm you just had. you’re pretty sure you lost control over your words.
“oh my baby… my sweet baby… if i ever do that again, you kill me on the spot.” she said, regretfully. “i’m sorry… let me make it up to you?”
you nodded with a toothy smile, your arms pulling her in for a hug. you were happy to have your girl back.
you two sat for a moment before you found your footing, standing up with madison’s help. you noticed your dress was ripped open still but neither of you had anything to cover you up.
“mads… you tore my dress.” you complained.
“oh! yeah… you may have forgiven me but i haven’t forgiven you.” she giggled. “second part of your punishment! walk back out to our car like that.” she said, turning you around to face the door.
“WHAT?!” you exclaimed.
“everyone’s drunk, they won’t notice a thing. they’ll probably forget about it too!” she defended her decision— which was totally not made just cause she got carried away by accident.
“mads… you can’t be serious.” you whined.
“oh i’m dead serious.” she nodded and slapped your ass.
“now walk, bitch.”
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glorystark · 7 months ago
Text
Empty eyes | Dean Winchester x Reader
Summary: Dean doesn't take Charlie's death too well and because of the Mark of Cain affecting him, he tells you things that will regret.
Warnings: moc!Dean Winchester, Dean being a dick, minor mentions of injury, swearing, ANGST, major character's death
Pairing: Dean Winchester × reader
Featuring: Sam Winchester
Word count: 2,3k
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We watched in agony as Charlie's body, wrapped around a white sheet, burned in the flames. This should never have happened to her kind soul. She died so we could save Dean. I couldn't help but feel guilty; my heart ached because I lost a friend, again. I knew Sam felt the same. We both asked Charlie for help with the Book of the Damned, and we both lied to Dean about the book being destroyed. Now it was too late to make things right. Memories flashed through my eyes, making me tear up. I remembered when she helped us with the Dick situation, or when I taught her some hunter-kind-of-tricks. How happy she was and wouldn't stop thanking me. She didn't deserve this, anyone but her.
“Charlie,” Sam started, grabbing my and probably Dean's attention. “We are gonna miss you. You're the best.” He stopped when his voice cracked, and now I was sure he felt far worse than me because looking back, he suggested not telling Dean about the Book of the Damned not being destroyed, which I didn't agree with at first. But seeing Dean, my Dean, slowly fade away right in front of my eyes changed my opinion. Maybe it was selfish, me and Sam both were. But we couldn't let Dean become something he fears, a Monster. We couldn't lose another person, another family member, but we didn't realize who we were putting in danger on this path.
“We love you, Charlie, and I'm so sorry,” I said, blinking through tears.
“Shut up,” Dean said coldly, making Sam and me look at him. “You got her killed. You don't get to apologize.” He continued.
“Dean-“ Sam started, but Dean cut him off.
“You too, you two are the reason she is dead,” he said, not taking his eyes off the flames.
“We were trying to help you,” I said, still looking at him.
“I didn't need help,” he said bitterly. "I told you to leave it alone.”
“What were we supposed to do, just watch you die?” Sam asked, not letting me be the only one receiving the cold tone from his older brother.
“The mark isn't gonna kill me.”
“Maybe not, but when it's done with you, you won't be you anymore,” I stated. “Dean, you're all we got. So of course we were gonna fight for you because that's what we do,” I said softly.
“Yeah, she's right, we had a shot-“ Sam was cut off again by Dean.
“Yeah, you had a shot. Charlie is dead.” He finally turned his head to look at me and his brother, who was standing next to me. His dark emerald eyes bore into mine, and I couldn't recognize them. Never have I ever seen him look at me with those eyes. Because no matter how much crap we went through, he always made sure I was fine, and his eyes held nothing but sweetness and, on most occasions, worry. “Nice shot.”
“Are you even listening to me? You think I'm ever gonna forgive myself for that?!” I snapped, not being able to keep my voice down anymore. He is grieving, but so am I. If I could, I would trade places with her.
“You know what I think,” he started, still with the same voice tone. “I think it should be you up there and not her.”
I felt my heart break for the hundredth time today. I parted my lips, not taking my teary eyes off him, which clearly showed how hurt I was. Sam let out a small gasp and widened his eyes after he heard Dean's words, clearly not expecting his brother to go that far.
I knew he blamed me, probably even more than Sam. But knowing that he wanted me dead hurt more than any physical torture I've experienced.
Sam called his name, still shocked after what he heard, but his brother just walked away, breaking my heart more and more.
—————
It has been a week since I lost Charlie, since I lost my Dean. He has been searching for the Stynes ever since but has been having a bit of trouble finding their location. So meanwhile, he went on a few solo hunts. He hasn't said a word to me and to Sam, just a few like ‘buy some beers’ ‘did you find anything about the Stynes’.
He found another hunt for today and was packing his bag in his own room. We both haven't stepped in our shared room ever since the accident, which meant we weren't even sleeping on the same bed. I'm done with being ignored, so I knocked on his door and opened it without waiting for any response. He didn't even turn around, probably knowing it was me.
“Dean,” I called his name, not even knowing what I wanna talk about, but getting him to look at me was the first step. “Dean,” I called, this time louder, and when he still didn't turn around, I walked towards him and grabbed his arm. “Alright, I'm done. When will you finally stop ignoring me?!”
He looked at my hand, which was grabbing his arm, and slowly turned around, finally looking at my face. “I'm not ignoring you, I just don't want to talk to you or be near you,” he said bitterly, pulling his arm away and reaching for his door.
“Dean, you know you're not the only one who lost someone, okay? And believe me, I know it's my fault she's gone, and I'll never forgive myself for that. But, god, you're practically killing me. I miss you,” I said desperately, waiting for something in his eyes to change, waiting for him to embrace me in his strong arms, but... Nothing. His eyes didn't even hold hatred anymore, just emptiness.
“I don't know what you expect me to say, ‘I'm sorry you were so stupid’ ‘I'm sorry you got another person killed off’ ‘I'm sorry you're so fucking useless’ Huh?! Is that what you want me to say? You want me to feel sorry for you?!” he yelled, showing the anger and darkness in his eyes while he harshly slammed me to the wall, making me whimper slightly. His words cut deep into my skin, but I tried my best to ignore them, knowing this Dean wasn't really my Dean.
“I want you to understand, I want you to know that I'm sorry. I want you to tell me that we're gonna go through this like we always do,” I said softly, looking deeply into his eyes, trying to crack him.
He let out a dark chuckle and grasped my shoulders, lowering his head to be on the same height level with me. “You want me to tell you that we're gonna go through this? Well, baby, in that way, I'd be a big liar.”
“Dean, me and Sam, we are so close to saving you. Please, just don't let the mark control you,” I begged, feeling small under his touch.
“I don't want nor need you two saving me, and believe me, at this very moment, I'm trying to not let the mark control me, so don't provoke me,” he whispered against my ear, sending shivers down my spine.
"I thought you trusted me.”
“Well, that trust was destroyed when you got someone who was like a sister to me killed. Have you ever noticed how many innocent people died because you were being too stupid?” he said harshly.
"We all have made mistakes, Dean," I said, as I thought about the hunts where innocent people died, and I couldn't save them. I didn't want Dean to know how much his words were affecting me, but, god, I felt like a crumpled paper.
“Seems like that's the only thing you ever do,” he smirked, letting his eyes fall on the floor again before looking up at my eyes again. “Tell me, how does it feel knowing you don't mean anything to anybody and you're just a burden in our lives? How does it feel knowing nobody loves you?”
That's it. That was the punch line to make me break into tears.
“Y-you love me, you said that before.”
“You know I lie to get laid,” he said, smirking, proud of his response.
My heart was racing more and more, and I felt nauseous.
“Dean, please-“
“You're nothing, do you hear me? Nothing!” he grabbed my cheeks harshly. “Your existence doesn't matter. You.don't.matter.” he said, spitting the words out before letting me go. He took his bag and walked out of the room, not even glancing at me. I slid down the wall as I started sobbing silently.
Then I heard a buzz from my phone.
New message from Sammy:
“Y/N, Dean just said he found a hunt, probably three to four werewolves, and he told me to go with him. I was really surprised but didn't question him. I think he's getting better. I'll also talk to him on the road. Next time, he'll definitely ask you too, just like old times. Don't stay up and don't worry; we got this :) love you.”
He asked Sam to go, but not me. If he hadn't told me that he hated me a few minutes ago, I'd think he was worried. But if it was really 3 or 4 werewolves, there's nothing to be worried about. He just wants to stay away from me. He told me I was a burden to them; he'll probably throw me out of the bunker soon.
Dark thoughts ran through my mind, and suddenly a rush of anxiety ran through me. What if there were more than a few werewolves? What if they get hurt? What if Dean hates me even more?
I checked Sam's message again and saw that he sent me the address of where the werewolves' location is and where the hunt would probably take place. I quickly rushed to my room, grabbed my car keys, and went to drive to the location.
—————
I was hiding behind some of the trees in the forest, watching as each of the boys fought one werewolf, two already dead ones on the floor.
Everything seemed good so far; I mean, their guns were on the floor, but they were fighting each werewolf single handed and there was no need for me to make my presence known. The boys were winning as always. And that's when I realized they don't really need me in their life. I knew the words that came out of Dean's mouth tonight weren't really Dean's, my Dean. But he was somehow right; before I became the hunter I am today, I made many mistakes. Some were small, and some led to people getting hurt or even killed. I also put their lives in danger multiple times because I was being reckless. Finding the demons that killed my parents blinded my vision. I was ready to get back to the bunker when I saw both of the werewolves giving up until I noticed something.
A werewolf close to Sam's back, and it seemed like none of the brothers noticed him. I searched for my gun but remembered I forgot it in the backseat of my car. I cursed under my breath and did the only thing possible right now to save Sam. I couldn't let Dean lose another person, especially his brother, who I knew meant the world to him. I couldn't put him through something like that again when there's a chance to save the younger Winchester.
So I ran towards Sam, trying my best to not slip because of the woods on the floor. The Werewolf was close, and nobody noticed him. I'm not the only stupid one after all. The boys turned their heads to me for a slight second, surprised at my presence, but didn't stop fighting the other werewolves.
Until I pushed Sam away from the werewolf he was fighting onto the floor. He seemed confused at first, until he saw it. I assumed Dean did too but couldn't be too sure since he was behind me. I let out an agonizing scream when the werewolf grazed his claws into my stomach and the other one, which Sam was fighting before, grazed his claws into my back before my lifeless body fell on the floor. Dean didn't hesitate more seconds before getting his gun from the floor and shooting all the werewolves.
I was bleeding like a waterfall from my body and my mouth. But the good thing is-
I didn't feel any pain, or anything in that matter…
Dean Winchester’s Pov:
No no no.
This can't be happening.
It's all a nightmare, just another stupid nightmare.
I heard Sam's crying voice telling the love of my life, his best friend, to wake up, holding her torn apart body in his arms, asking her why she pushed him away. But there was no answer.
It's a nightmare happening in real life.
Her beautiful y/e/c are open but so empty, unrecognizable.
I stood over her body, not being able to move from my spot.
There is so much blood everywhere.
Her blood.
This is hell.
No, I’ve been to hell and it's worse than hell.
I started tearing up more and more, reality hitting me more every second.
I let out an angry scream and fell on my knees when I remembered my last words to her.
“You're nothing, do you hear me? Nothing! Your existence doesn't matter. You.don't.matter.”
She wasn't nothing, she was my everything.
She mattered, she was the reason I kept going, now she's gone and it's all my fault.
All my fault.
All of the words I said came back to me, making my chest hurt.
As I knelt beside her lifeless body, surrounded by the aftermath of our shattered world, I whisper into the silent abyss, "I'm sorry, Y/N. I'm so sorry."
And deep down I felt the Mark laughing…
541 notes · View notes
igotanidea · 4 months ago
Text
All figured out : Jason Todd x reader
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Summary: When duties and stuff get in the way of being close so bad he forgets your b-day... Or does he?
***
As of late they barely had time for each other. It was constantly his patrols, his wounds and bleeding, her work and headaches and everything in-between.
You know what they say after all, right? About the mundane everyday stuff killing more relationships than actual fights and heartbreaks. The case when you get so accustomed to being with each other that there’s nothing more to discover and the connection becomes simply boring.
And he didn’t want it.
She neither.
But what was to do when there was always something or someone.
What was to do when they both found themselves drifting apart, too focused on the duties and obligations and that constant train of thoughts, plans and internal anxiety they tried to suppress so hard there was barely any strength for anything else.
“Y/N.” 
“Hm?” She raised her head from the couch she dozed off while reading some notes for the upcoming work presentation. “Yeah? What’s wrong? How can I help?” Even in her half-hazy state with a post-it note stuck to her cheek, her first instinct was to sprung into action. And the fact that she missed his concerned face and affection beaming from his eyes did not go unnoticed.
“It’s your birthday today, baby…” Jason sighed, moving closer, crouching next to the couch to be somewhere close to her eye level and squeezing her hands.
“My birthday?” Her tone indicated that she barely recognized what day it was, let alone that the date was anything special “Really? I guess I forgot about that…”
“Y/N…”
“Hm?”
“I’m so sorry-“
“For what?” she tore the note from her cheek, finally meeting his eyes “Hey. Jason, baby. For what?”
“I forgot them too.”
“Well clearly not, if you’re the one reminding me.”
“I don’t have a gift for you.”
“You’re here, aren’t you?”
“It’s not enough.”
“It is enough for me.” She squeezed his hand reassuringly, “Because us talking for more than five minutes might be the first time in weeks.”
“I’m sorry-“
“Yeah, me too.” She sighed “this is not just on you Jace. You’re only half of this relationship.”
“Only?” he teased, familiar sparks showing in his eyes
“Oh, here’s that mischief I know you for.” She chuckled leaning her forehead on his in a vulnerable gesture “What happened to us Jay?”
“I don’t know. But I don’t like it.”
“You don’t say.”
“And that’s why I’m taking you out tonight.”
“Wait, what? What about the patrol? The missions? The-“ the stream of words coming out of her mouth was cut abruptly as he placed a finger on her lips. “Hey-hmph!”
“Don’t think just because I’ve barely heard your voice lately I’m just going to let you bubble, princess.”
“But-“
“Now, put on you prettiest dress and do not worry your sweet little head about anything else”
“But-“
“If you keep talking I’ll have to silence you in some other way and then we won’t leave this apartment at all. And I’ve already made plans-.”
“In the past thirty seconds?!”
“Yes. Now do you want to ruin my plans for tonight?” he pouted in a child-like manner causing her to let out an involuntary laugh before heading to the bathroom to get ready for whatever scheme he came up with.
***
“A club? Seriously?”
The look of confusion on her face as they pulled at the dancing spot was quite hurtful to him.
“I didn’t even know you could dance.”
“Ouch! Y/n!”
“What?!” she scoffed, “It’s your fault. You never showed that skill.”
“Well here’s a show for your entertainment. Go ahead and enjoy me, making a fool out of myself just to celebrate your bday.”
Jason grabbed her hand, sent a knowing look to the bouncer that just let them pass without any questions and dragged her inside.
“Wait… wait, what is going on here? You know the bouncer at the club? Jason? Jason?! The actual hell- ah!”
The lights went out, she felt his hand slipping from hers and for a second that felt like eternity she was completely alone in the dark.
“Y/N?!” his voice reached her ears though she had no idea where it was coming from and the slight panic started to creep inside. A feeling multiplied when she heard ruffling and some whispers of people who were closing in on her
“Jason?! Where are you!?” Y/N started spinning in the dark, searching for anything solid that would help her cover from whatever danger might be lurking in the dark. “ah!” Her wish became granted sooner than expected when she collided with something hard and out of sheer instinct started punching and hitting the surface.
“Hey! Hey, relax! Relax! It’s me! It’s me, princess.” Familiar touch of hands intensified on hers stopping her from fighting the person that was in fact her only salvation and protection. “It’s me, you’re safe” he pulled her closer, offering comfort and calm.
“What-what happened?” she stuttered “Why did the lights-“
“SURPRISE!”
Before she made her sentence the candles and lights garland got lit and she was greeted with friends and family members standing behind the lavishly set table with a birthday cake smiling and cheering.
“You asshole!” Y/N turned to Jason, resuming to punch and hit him, only that now she could see him and her movements were far more accurate and effective “I could have had a heart attack!”
“Stop it!” Jason laughed, pretending to be scared, grabbing her waist and spinning her in her air, before putting her down and kissing her passionately, not caring about the onlookers of their guests. “Happy birthday.” He muttered against her lips.
“You’re a jerk, you know it?” she responded in a whisper before grabbing the front of his shirt and kissing him again, not giving a shit who was looking likewise.
***
“You want to sneak out of here?”
After two hours of celebration, dancing, laughing and stuffing mouths with delicious food, Jason walked to her from behind offering a getaway from everyone. His warm breath followed by a gentle kiss on that soft spot between her neck and shoulder was supposed to convince her, but she was still mad about the trap he set for her.
“Mh. Dunno. You went to such a great length to bring me here and now you want me to leave?” She teased, though her tone was not matched by the action when she tilted head to give him more access to her skin and allowed his hands to wrap around her waist.
“Mhm. Yes. Exactly. Leave with me.” Jason muttered against her skin.
“You're scared you won’t find the way back home?” she smirked and the grip on her body tightened.
“Not If my home stays here….”
“Oh no!” Y/N’s joyful laughter filled the air “Cliché! And cheesy and –“
“You done?” he frowned, not liking the way she was mocking him while he was pouring his heart out.
“Nope. Don’t think so. I can go like this for hours.”
“Y/N—” he growled in a warning she was pushing him to the limits.
“But I suppose if I can do it here, I can also do it when we’re alone-“
“Oh so now you want to be alone with me only to mock me?”
“Mhm.” She grinned. “So what do you say, big boy? Shall we take a French leave?”
“And walk out silently?” Jason grinned and she did not like it at all. “Over my dead body. Again.”
Without warning he lifted her up in the air, and with the most commotion he could cause, carried her away, followed by the cried out wishes of happy birthday and all the best.
He was such a drama queen.
***
“That was fun.” She pointed out when they got back to their little flat
“Only a beginning princess. I haven’t really given you your present yet.” Jason made sure to lock the door, stepping closer to his girlfriend and immediately pulling her closer, caressing her back and kissing her neck.
“You think you know what I want, huh?” She giggled when his lips started to tickle her skin.
“Got you figured all over baby… Know all your soft spots.”
He descended to her collarbone, bending her backwards a little to make it easier. The position forced her to place hands on his shoulders for purchase.
“Are you saying I became so boring and predictable to you?” she teased not stopping him walking her backwards to the bed
“Boring?” he gave her a look over, before sliding her dress upwards, tracing over the exposed thigh “not at all.” Her dress hit the floor, removed overhead. “Predictable? Maybe…”
“Asshole…” soft sight left her lips before getting silenced by another passionate kiss.
“You know I know what you want…”
“Prove it.” Y/N did not waste a second sliding his shirt off too. Once done, she plopped on the bed, facing the ceiling and waiting for his move “Prove you really do know what I want.”
Jason smirked and laid on the bed next to her.
He knew.
He knew better than she wanted to give him credit for.
And that was exactly the reason why at the moment his fingers were running up and down her exposed belly, but never crossing the barrier of her white, innocent panties or bra.
The reason why he did not tear his and her underwear and surrender to passion.
An argument for not going straight into sex.
So many people were confusing intimacy with sex. Simplifying it. While the real connection went far beyond body-to-body contact and carnal pleasure.
Real intimacy did not mean being bare as in shedding the clothes, but exposing oneself emotionally.
And he knew.
They’ve been growing apart for so long and the best gift he could give her was his presence next to her.
Y/N smiled rolling on her side to look into his eyes, their bodies close but never really touching as if the exchanged looks and interlaced fingers were far more valuable.
“How do you like your present?” he smiled softly, playing with her fingers, voice filled with warmth and purest form of affection.
“You really did know.”
“Told you I got you figured. And it’s not really a bad thing now, is it?”
“No. No it’s not. And hey I just figured something –“
“Hm? And what may that sudden discovery be? You missed me perhaps? Or – “ he made a dramatic pause – “don’t tell me you got feelings for me! Ugh! Y/N! Disgusting!” 
She laughed.
“Feelings? No way! And how could you dare believe I might have missed your horrible attitude and character!? Are you trying to offend me?!”
“Always.”
“Perhaps I should also thank you for keeping me in check and making sure I don’t become conceited?”
“Happy birthday” he shrugged, pulling her to his chest ruffling her hair on purpose. “And don’t think I love you or something.” The last remark was followed by the kiss on her forehead.
“Me neither, Jason. Me neither-”
It seemed like they got each other figured out after all.
And maybe it was their way of healing and coming together once again.
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yanderemommabean · 9 months ago
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for the red rooms in devildom, imagine lucifer finally deciding to give red rooms a shot when he realizes mc will soon leave devildom and/or keeps rejecting his affection
Lucifer being the avatar of pride means he can’t exactly handle rejection. Maybe a few times at first, seeing it as a way to chase and have fun and to prove himself to you and sweep you off of your feet, but after a while it really gets under his skin. 
Why? Why are you denying him? Sure he can understand being scared of him, he’s one of the most powerful demons after all, and sadly you were more than once on the wrong end of that ire and anger when you first arrived. He won’t deny that your emotions with those incidents are possibly why you wouldn’t want to be with him, but surely now you see hes trying to make amends? That he’d kiss the ground you walk on and make sure to keep you safe? 
It seems you were serious about denying and rejecting his affections. You tell everyone at dinner what a wonderful time you’ve had, and how in three days time you’re expected to leave, back to the human world, leaving them to wallow in your absence. 
Well, you won’t get away with that. He won’t let you make this mistake. He just gives a soft smile, a gentle hug, and tells you that he’ll miss you, but as you head up to bed and listen to Mammon and Levi’s blabbering and sobbing, Lucifer decides to make a rather last resort call. 
The Red Rooms. The last place he ever wanted to bring you. While they care for the darling's experience, he doesn’t want to have to force this, but you’re really leaving him no choice! 
He’ll make sure the rooms are to your tastes. Stuffed animals to cry into when overwhelmed, softer gags to be easier on your jaw, padded cuffs to make sure your delicate human skin isn’t bruised unless he decides to bruise it himself. 
The demon chuckles on the other end of the line but once they hear who’s making the call, they shut up and show respect. 
“Nothing rough. This is to prove my devotion and how I’m better than my brothers. I want only the best, the softest, the cleanest and the safest. I won’t hesitate to kill you and wring your blood into my food to devour. Do we have an understanding?” 
He goes through the list, his mind getting even more perverted than Asmo as he pictures how he’ll make you moan and whimper for him. “Oh? Well I must admit that golden hellfire newt syrup would be a nice touch but I'm as ready as ill need to be. Yes, I'm aware it's a potent aphrodisiac but I assure you, my love and lust know no bounds when it comes to my sweet little minx” 
The call goes on a little longer, Lucifer giving some final details on safety measures, only giving Diavolo's emergency number in case he completely loses himself, and so on. Who woulda thought the demons in the seediest parts of the underworld would be so caring? Then again it’s rumored Barbatos and Diavolo run the palace in disguise so…
When asked how they are to bring you in, Lucifer just smiles and tries not to break the phone in an angered crush. To think they’d touch you, it just sent a pang of anger through his core. But he knows they’re simply doing their job, so he can’t exactly kill them just yet.
“I’ll use the spells you have on hand, or ill bring them in myself under a guise of a last dinner together. You’ll know it's me by what I'm wearing. None of this better go wrong, or I assure you, you wont live to warn the others of my wrath”.
-Mommabean (HI! I hope you likes this bean!!)
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hadesoftheladies · 9 months ago
Text
actually, I DID have gender dysphoria as a teenage girl without being exposed to anything about it on the internet, on top of "racial dysphoria" and body dysmorphia
there were points I DID want to kill myself because i wasn't, or bleach my skin or change my body, i would have done anything to be a white boy at one point
which is both sad and funny to me because i remember two of my then good friends explain being enby and transgender to me and me being like "that doesn't make any sense" and it's because of trans-discourse we eventually broke up. the closest i ever got to accepting trans-ideology was transmedicalism with weak support for "queer" culture. i did not understand pronouns, but i understood dysphoria. but i did not understand how one could be a man or woman without the sex characteristics.
how did i heal?
one, i left church. that was one of the places i was most scrutinized for my physical body. two, i distanced from my parents, especially my mom. who often made my ocd and body-image worse (not because she was mean, but because she was always fretting about "decency"). three, i focused on bettering my personal space. writing, reading, watching my comfort shows, getting the focus off me. four, i started eating better, and my body became less burdensome. i stopped getting horrible period pain. five, i surrounded myself with self-confident women and stopped trying to resurrect toxic friendships with girls and boys (especially boys). started eliminating each toxic friend and focusing my efforts on healthier relationships. six, i'd started educating myself on my own history, watching and listening to more black and African people. even when i didn't enjoy what they made or resonate with it, i found i appreciated the experience and could allow myself to hate or love whatever i found.
by the time i discovered radical feminism, this was like, the final step for me: consuming women-centric literature and media. this was HUGE. i'd see paintings and photography of women in all shapes, colors and sizes. i'd listen to master musicians, read women philosophers, anthropologists, etc. this started mending a lot of what caused initial disquiet when it came to my dysphoria or dysmorphia.
basically, i took myself out of bad environments (especially those which force you to scrutinize every detail about yourself, like social media, i took long breaks from that), drew boundaries with people i couldn't get rid of, learned about myself (ocd, dyscalculia, anxiety, female biology) so that i developed understanding and could empathize, stopped centering men and white people.
now, while there's still a hint or trace of dysmorphia and dysphoria, it doesn't plague my life. it's like the occasional itch. more of a mild temptation to go down a dark hole than an actual threat. and i've learned how to handle those.
i learned the root of things. not just my history, but the root of how society worked and how it affected me. and i'm still learning, and my life is still improving.
so yeah, girls and women going through this is normal and common. anyone who is used to who they are being shameful is more at risk (like gnc lgb kids), but you can recover. usually better if you get out of the places that are making you sick.
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sugurouge · 3 months ago
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TEA MY LOVE I HAVE A REQUEST. And I know you are the only one I trust with this cause I know you’ll kill it maybe a little nsfw drabble of Tattoo Artist!Endo (or Togame whoever you’re feeling) fucking you in his shop after giving you a sternum tattoo? (Or like any tattoo it doesn’t matter I just peg him as a boob guy lol) He’s just starting down at you, one well placed whimper of pain has him snapping. OKAY I LOVE YOU BYE 🏃🏻‍♀️💨
listen, listen, THANK U SO MUCH IM HONOURED TO HAVE YOU BE MY FIRST EVER WIND BREAKER REQUEST!! BUT as if i could think about togame if you bring endo up first. i couldn't make him fold right on the spot, he somewhat tried to be a professional (or i just like to make him suffer)! but thank you so much for your trust and i hope i don't disappoint <3 i also can't shut up so forgive me for the length
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— sickly sweet : tattoo artist!endo yamato x f!reader
summary: you heard about a great tattoo artist online. his reviews were astounding, almost too good to be true. but the shared images of his works convinced you to enter his shop. even more handsome than transferred online, endo welcomes you in, open and down to fulfil your request on the spot. he needed to stall some time anyway. but he didn't expect to be this affected by a pair of boobs and pretty whimpers
wordcount: 1.3k
content warnings! smut, pet names like angel & sweetheart, unprotected sex, slight exhibitionism, obviously you're getting tattooed so there will be mentions of needles and blood, don't try this with your tattoo artist
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Customers like to stare at Endo's exposed body, at the tattoos decorating his skin. And he loves it; he practically basks in the attention. So, seeing your curious eyes roam over his arms, shoulders, and neck really shouldn’t distract him. You’re here to get a tattoo in a rather painful area of your body. Placed beneath him on the tattoo lounger, fighting like a brave soldier. You want a pretty tattoo, so you’ve got to be good for Endo to work his magic.
Yet, he keeps thinking about how you jerked beneath his touch when he placed the stencil on your skin, when he fixed up the lines by drawing on your chest. He made sure you were comfortable, even taping the fabric of the towels in place, should your arms grow tired of protecting your tits from his hungry, concentrated stares.
You can see the heavy swallow in his throat, see the way his brows furrow behind his curls. The handsome guy tattooing and touching you all over is really the only thing that keeps you from crying out loud.
Neither of you expect the adorable whimper that slips past your lips as Endo’s hand rests on your chest for stability. The needle just hit a sensitive spot. “I-I’m sorry,” you stutter, trying to act cool, tough.
Fuck, you’re so cute. He shakes his head, fighting his inner demons, struggling to stay professional. Thank God he covered half of his face behind a hygiene mask. “No problem,” he murmurs. “I know it hurts like shit; got one myself.” Your little hum in response is nearly as heavenly as your whimper. Please, whimper again.
Endo presses his feet into the ground, forcing himself not to bop his leg. Yeah, he needs a break; he can't think straight, can't ignore the weight of his cock in his jeans. But he's almost done, so close to finishing up and shooing you out of his shop. “Nearly there, sweetheart,” he says, the pet name escaping before he can catch himself, eyes widening. Thankfully, you’re too distracted by your own embarrassment and pain, mumbling "yeah" once, twice, as your thighs press together.
Your eyes follow a drip of sweat that runs along Endo’s neck, gaze hungrily dipping beneath the fabric of his tank top as he bends forward a little more. If you grabbed his hair, you could pull his pretty face right into your tits. Endo finishes up the last line, perfecting the tattoo with one final stinging pain he held for the end. Your toes curl in response, teary eyes rolling in their sockets as you spoil him with a pleased little moan, pain and lust clouding your mind.
Did you hear the curses beneath Endo’s mask? He hopes you’re too distracted to notice his eyes clouding with lust, pupils widening as he watches the jiggle of your tits with your heaving chest. The tattoo gun rests on the side table; he should go ahead and wipe your body clean. He really should get moving. He definitely needs to wank one out after you finally leave.
“Gonna clean you up, ‘kay? ’S gonna be cold,” he warns lowly. And come on, he has to reward himself a little. He has to lose the little strips of tape before he cleans your sternum, wiping off the mixture of blood and ink. One hand rests against your rib, thumb grazing your right boob ever so teasingly as his right hand cleans your skin. You hiss at the sensation, your hand flying up to cover your sounds as you bite into the side of your finger. “Almost finished, angel.” This has to be how he got this insane rating on the internet, you think, nodding your head up and down to his reassurance.
And when your eyes meet, he wonders: Do you do this in purpose? Look so desperate for cock? What do you want him to do? Why is it so fucking hot in here? Endo’s eyes flicker from your freshly tattooed skin back up to your eyes. He presses the protective cover on top of your tattoo, his warm hand rubbing along your chest as he finally frees himself from the mask, carelessly dropping it on the table. It’s unfair how handsome he is. It’s unfair how you lean into his touch. It’s easy for him to slip off the covers from your tits and cup them with his hands. His lips attach themselves to your skin, kissing along the bouncy flesh until he can suckle on your nipples, it’s cute how you suddenly fight back your sounds and your eyes fall shut upon the sensations. He totally deserves a five-star review.
Your fingers card through his locks, holding him close. You wouldn’t want him to stop now. Endo moves on top of you; confident in how much the lounger can handle. “Not sure which one of us eye-fucked the other harder,” he whispers in your ear. You can hear the grin on his lips. “But I for sure need to hear you moan for me now.” With that, he lets you feel just how hard you’ve made him, grinding down against your cunt as his kisses reach your neck.
“D-do you sleep with all your customers?” The silly question has him chuckle into the crook of your neck before he busies himself with pulling down your skirt, making short progress of your panties at the same time.
“Would you fuck all your tattoo artists?” Endo shoots back with a smirk on his lips, challenging you with that gut-wrenching eye contact again. He teases your clit, dips his fingertips into your begging hole only to pull back. Do you know how hot you are when you part your lips like that? When you crease your brows into this little look of utter bliss?
It is nearly impossible to quip back a witty reply. “Only if they were hot,” nothing but a distracted mumble as you yearn for satisfaction only he can give you now. “Why, thanks, angel,” Endo chuckles, “but enough small talk.”
Your legs are pushed apart by his gloved hands, pressed against your sides to be on display for him. You weren’t prepared for his cock to impact your pussy like this, not ready for the delicious stretch he overwhelms you with as your nails dig into his tattoos. You writhe beneath him, the shyness gone and replaced by filthy moans and curses mixing between your lips while Endo fucks you hard. Your mouths crash together in lust as you pull him in deeper and deeper. Don't mind the creaking of the lounger, relish in the panting of your tattoo artist, and enjoy the sensations of his gloved hands digging into your thighs as he laps at your tits.
The slapping of skin bounces off the walls before the chime of the bell rings through your body, your pussy gripping like a vice around Endo’s cock in shock as his hand comes up to cover your mouth. Not right now. He couldn’t possibly stop fucking you. “We’re closed for the night!” he yells toward the front of his shop, his hips unrelenting in pushing forward into you. You see the strain in his body in the way his veins pop underneath his skin, fighting his own noises as he waits for an answer from the visitor. Yet, no reply ever meets his ears.
But the pawing of your hands lures him back to focus on you, to bury his face in your tits and drown his moans with your body. He’s chasing the high, eager to get drunk on you. His fingers circle your clit, pinching and toying with the bundle of nerves, making you moan into Endo’s hand. So ready to topple over the edge, your body arches to feel the tip of his cock move right against that sweet spot inside your gummy walls, unravelling beneath him. It’s adorable how perfectly you respond to every touch. With one final, deep thrust, Endo sends you over the edge, your body trembling as waves of pleasure crash over you. Your moans are addictive.
“I always knew you fucked your pretty customers...” a sudden, unexpected voice teases. Right, there was never a second chime of the bell. Endo curses into your chest before pulling back, never stopping his shallow thrusts into you as he straightens himself to meet a pair of golden eyes. “Don’t tell me you’re jealous?” Endo fires back, pinching your clit at the right moment to ensure Chika hears the pretty whines that started all of this as they both wear a knowing look.
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dividers by @/cafekitsune
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